#well hmmm i guess there is that episode where he was into his friend cooper's little sister in s1

[britneyshakespeare]

i have to be honest. when ppl bring up how old jason earles was when he played jackson in hannah montana. i do agree it's a little weird but it's strange when ppl adopt the language of it being, like, somehow creepy. he played a high schooler in his late 20s-early 30s. it's not like ppl don't do that on the cw.

[year2000electronics]

Malcom Challender and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Very Bad Day

(just a little goofy ficlet set after episode 2 bc i wrote day 11 when i wasnt feeling very good about myself so i think my cool and awesome sona should be able to hang out with vils cool friends :^) )

The sun shone through the crack in Malcom’s windows, and he waved off the pigons that had somehow slipped into his apartment- as they often did, with his bird-whisperer of a roommate around. He swore it was like Player let them in on purpose sometimes. He squinted, avoiding the light as he transferred himself from his bed to his wheelchair, kicking the brake back in.

...Yes, he slept in his clothes. Don’t lie! You do it too, sometimes!

Malcom made his way into the kitchen, pouring himself a bowl of cereal. He pondered to himself where his housemates had gone off to, but he decided against questioning where they went. They were more active than he was, certainly- Player, when he wasn’t feeding the birds in some park, was off using his gym membership or playing bingo with some old ladies. Darnold was probably attaching rocket boosters to things that weren’t supposed to have rocket boosters.

And they were both video game characters that had become real.

God, Malcom’s life was fucking weird.

He could at least take the day to relax- after all, he didn’t have a stream until the weekend. Summer was right around the corner, which meant he could start using all his outdoor gimmicks for streams. Neo had even suggested doing a carnival stream! How would that even WORK?!

He shrugged it off. Malcom was sure Neo had some crazy ideas in his head, anyways. That was just how the dude worked.

Malcom’s thoughts were interrupted by a loud banging on his dining room window. His head jerked up in surprise when he heard some especially loud banging. Someone was… knocking on his window? From THIS high up?!

And it was…

No.

No fucking way.

That beautifully-styled curly brown hair. That signature sleazy moustache. That suave all-black ensemble. That surprisingly sleek ship they rode.

CAPITAL M?!

They said… well, they said something. Malcom couldn’t hear them through the window.

Both of them paused for an incredibly awkward while, until eventually, Malcom quietly rolled the window down.

“As I was SAYING. HELLO, GAMER BOY! AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE CAPTURED YOUR PRECIOUS FRIENDS!” Mothra shouted, cackling.

Malcom was… unimpressed. All there was were a bunch of birds flying around the ship, with some of them landing near Malcom in a panic.

“Why the hell are you BACK? And second of all, is this some kinda fucked up psychological warfare to say I don’t have friends?! I do have friends, asshole! I have good traits! I know cos my therapist told me!” Malcom shouted in a huff.

“Oh- No, these are- Okay-” Capital M fumbled, hauling a giant, futuristic-looking gun out of vil’s storage compartment. “So first of all, I was just at a resort. And some… people there got me back into the groove.”

“AND SECOND OF ALL!” He posed with the gun. “BEHOLD! MY GUN THAT TURNS PEOPLE INTO BIRDS!”

“AHAHAHAHA!”

“...Birds,” Malcom said in disbelief. He looked down at the birds currently waddling around on his table. They were… unremarkable. Of course they were, they were birds!

“Yes. Birds. It’s perfect cos Player will never allow it to be changed back. Ever.”

“Ever?”

“Ever.”

Malcom snorted.

“Yeah, well, what. Are you gonna turn every world leader into a bird so you can demand ransom or something?” He said flatly.

“That’s exactly it! PREPARE FOR A GLOBAL DEBT, MALCOM CHALLENDER!” Capital M proclaimed, pointing at him.

“That is…” Her face twisted into one of mischievous glee. “Unless someone were to… stop me…? Hmmm?”

Malcom sighed. “Dude.”

“We need to get you some superhero friends or something.”

“I am a TWITCH STREAMER. I have JOBS I do for MONEY. And I have NO POWERS.”

“PAH! You have your silly stupid power of friendship, don’t you?!”

“..Besides. I know for a fact you don’t stream today,” Mothra muttered.

“...Are you following me on Twitch…?”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, gamer-boy.”

“AND NOW I DEPART!” Capital M shouted, flying off and leaving Malcom with a lot of birds.

“Great. So, uh, who’s who?” He asked the group. “...Nevermind that, actually. No way to tell.”

It was just then his phone rang.

‘DO NOT ANSWER is requesting FaceTime…’

Malcom sighed, picking it up as a squished-together group of scientists took over his entire screen.

“Hey, Doc. Half of us got turned into birds by Capital M,” Malcom said. “You wouldn’t have anything to do with this, would you?”

The mad scientist’s face lit up. “Birds?! Oh, splendid, splendid! They really are coming back with a bang!”

“I’d GREATLY prefer it if they came back with a bang elsewhere? Maybe to the universe where people actually have powers? Like the admins, maybe??” Malcom shouted, as one of the birds let out an angry tweet.

The taller, purple scientist behind Doc guffawed. “Sorry, man. You’re the biggest dork here, so you’re easy pickings. Maybe vil just likes you.”

“It’s a great honour to have a nemesis, you know!” Harold piped up.

“AND HOW!” Doc and Sleepless both chirped.

God, they were all such a happy family. It was contagious. BLECH.

“Either way, I’m not smart enough to make an anti-bird gun. So can you guys PLEASE come over and fix this mess?” Malcom said with a sigh.

“I WOULD like to see how Capital M is doing… When we parted ways, it seemed like things were off to a good start…” Bubby mused.

“Yeah, they’re real excited about this. Just like usual, I guess,” Malcom said with a chuckle.

“Hey, is B’s service cooperating? Can we get him over too?”

The old man shook his head. “I’m afraid his feed was more like… a mosaic.”

“Damn that 2002 phone he has,” Malcom grumbled. “Oh, well. I’m sure you guys can help just fine. C’mon over.”

“Will do! We’ll bring the arsenal of weapons, too!” Tommy said excitedly.

“Like my new invention, BETTER TOASTER!” Doc yelled, holding up a toaster with mechanical spider legs and what looked like a flamethrower.

“Or the evil saxophone!” Sleepless said, and Malcom knew that was his sign to log off, as he cut them off mid-note.

“Okay, Malcom. Your friends are birds and your other friends are Saturday morning cartoon villains. Wonderful.” He sighed, sitting back in his wheelchair.

“And your OTHER other friend sure has a weird way of showing their appreciation.”

He laughed.

“Damn, I love being me.”

[inspector-montoya-fox]

#5 - The Cold Heart of Hate

Setting: well that was fast... we make it to Russia, where we’re greeted to the evilest of evil lairs. when not dodging robo-falcons and burning boulders, the first mission acts as a tour and establishes the fact that we’re legit in a volcano. i don’t want to say that this is anticlimactic because the missions in this episode are truly hard, but there’s no hub to explore. instead, it’s a chain of missions that lead to the Clockwerk battle, and i guess that makes sense since there’s no time to waste, the stakes are high, etc. if you weren’t able to piece the clues together about Clockwerk’s identity up to this point, the missions do not help. unlike some of the game’s other episodes where the baddies’ personalities are reflected by the settings, Clockwerk remains a shadow up until the very end (and that’s kinda ironic when you think about how he has a huge fucking tower with his face on it). considering the absence of a main hub, the missions do a pretty good job in establishing the mood. we see the outside and inside of the volcano while controlling the van, and then Bentley’s hacking and Sly’s journey into the lab exhibit the level’s technological/ science-y aesthetic. on that note, let’s talk a bit about that lab. i’ve mentioned this before on my account but Cold Heart of Hate is a slave to the early platformer tradition of having an evil lab as the final stage. i don’t blame the game for that - here’s what’s weird though: if Clockwerk is so much larger than Sly, he couldn’t possibly fit into that lab. so... who works there? the robo-falcons? or is Clockwerk actually a ship for someone else? i uh *removes tin foil hat* ...... the huge Clockwerk tower is great for exposition, given that Clockwerk, although a rotting owl corpse stuffed inside a machine, has a huge ego. Sinking Peril is my favorite mission in the episode because it sets up the perfect atmosphere for the final bossfight. fighting the bird over its sinking tower of a replica not only ups the ante but also makes it feel even more satisfying when we finally get to drop it into the lava. lastly, i said Sunset Snake Eyes represented red and i kinda regret it now because that should have been orange and Cold Heart of Hate should have been red. welp! Cold Heart of Hate can be black. seems fitting.

Characters: i lied - the setting does reflect Clockwerk’s character in a very specific way: we’re literally inside a cottdamn volcano. tensions are brewing, the veil is about to be removed. Clockwerk is great. no, he’s more than great. he’s a satisfying and deserving final boss. he’s a maniacal, narcissistic, eGoMaNiAc that really gets under your skin when he keeps on pulling off the reveals. not ONLY has he killed Sly’s entire lineage, the QUEEN had the AUDACITY to stay alive for centuries! Clock-werk it baby! we have no choice but to STAN. the bitch is evil and that’s made crystal clear. his source of youth? hatred. the bird literally killed to remain healthy. and i’m glad he knows no shame because the monologue at the beginning of the bossfight is everything i ever wanted. i guess, Clockwerk has the shortest appearance in the game but still manages to make it impactful. whoever played the game during their childhood knows what i’m talking about - the music, the dialogue, the purple shooting cues: they all remain fresh in the head. the bossfight is the stuff of nightmares. Carmelita makes her final comeback in the perfect recipe for a climactic clash. she starts off as the damsel in distress that can’t be trusted because of her profession, but ultimately helps Sly take down Clockwerk. and i love that this is the beginning of Carmelita putting an end to Sly’s nemeses. her role is great here. yes, she’s the love interest that gets shamelessly left behind at the very end, but she’s the one that helps Sly get back his cain. actually, here’s something i’ve never thought of before: we make such a huge deal out of Carmelita being a playable character in Sly 3, that we all forgot she was playable in Sly 1 as well. i’m lowkey shocked. i don’t know how i overlooked this BUT ALSO shocked to just realise that in both Sly 1 and 3, Sly loses his cain (SP stuck to the original formula for final level suspense, i guess). and let me use that revelation to segue to Sly. he’s made it y’all!!! he’s finally here, ready to extract vengeance. and it shows. we might take his valour and chivalry for granted because this is the Sly we all know and love, but if this was your first time playing the game and somehow escaped all possible clichés by living under a rock your entire life, you’ll appreciate the raccoon’s persistence to save Carmelita. he didn’t have to do it, but he did it. let me praise Kevin Miller here for a sec, because without his voice-acting this would mean nothing. but it’s because of him that it means so much. when you finally beat Clockwerk and the cutscene starts playing and Sly says how he’s made it, it really feels like home, y’know? damn. also: Bentley and Murray finally come into the spotlight. i don’t want to go into detail because i’d rather talk about friendship in the cottdamn Themes section, but Cold Heart of Hate is what makes them true characters.

Themes: off the top of my head? legacy, revenge, friendship, love trumps hate, climax, heat, honour, the past, and many more. i’ll go with my favs because this deserves a post on its own. friendship goes hand-to-hand with love trumps hate because it’s represented by everyone that came out to support Sly. Bentley, Murray and Carmelita come through. they put their fears and differences aside and prevail to help Sly get to the top. they all play their roles, their motivation being love for the raccoon, and that comes into stark contrast with Clockwerk’s preachings. the age-old “good vs evil”. Clockwerk stayed alive by feeding on hatred and got his ass kicked by a group of friends and the love interest (not yet a woman on her own). it’s traditional and it works. similarly to Tide of Terror, the theme of heat ensures that the player is kept engaged. there’s no time to roam around, find clue-bottles, etc. the need to finish this as quickly as possible is enhanced by the volcano landscape and the high temperature. this is especially seen in Sinking Peril because of the rising lava. if you waste time you will literally get gobbled up. the lava encapsulates Sly’s progress and his temper as well. he’s burning inside, itching to finally get revenge (you’ll notice that Sly 1 has no operations and that presents the gang’s early days, Sly’s rash attitude and his persistence to just go up to the main baddie and fight). and the heat’s significance is ultimately shown when Clockwerk sinks into the lava. he doesn’t only get blown up - he “dies”, sinking into the volcano, deteriorating in the heat, showing how time is inescapable. there’s some karmic energy going on here, as Clockwerk cheated the Coopers of a normal death and in turn got served, showing that even if you find a way to stay alive it ultimately won’t work. i also want to touch on motifs, and the motif of technology is a nice one. it doesn’t only showcase Clockwerk’s genius, but it also allows for Bentley to go head-to-head with the owl. there’s something truly cyber about Cold Heart of Hate, but not in the traditional sense. like, the collapsing computer screens during Burning Rubber feel absurdly surreal, pushing the cyber-ness to its limits. i don’t even know anymore, i’m tired.

What I Like: hmmm... i like traversing Clockwerk’s lab. i love Sinking Peril. i love that the end cutscene gifted humanity with those Japanese Barbie Girl rainbow videos. there’s no room for likes and dislikes here, but favourite detail would definitely have to be Clockwerk’s health-bar animations during the bossfight, slowly turning from owl to computer brain thing. very reminiscent of a purple yak toy in a Cartoon Network show which i’m dying trying to remember. if anyone knows what i’m going on about lmk please.

What I Don’t Like: the lack of a hub to explore kinda irks me but i won’t say i don’t like it because i understand why they didn’t include one. instead, this spot goes to Murray’s driving and Bentley’s hacking. thematics aside, i literally do not want to replay Cold Heart of Hate because of the Murray section with the slime monsters. the controls continue to be clunky, the slime monsters are annoying and look like they have raisins for eyes. Bentley’s hacking isn’t as annoying, but it’s definitely frustrating. it’s a far cry from Sly 2 and 3′s hacking parts... yea.........

Quote: Perfection has no age...

[ryuukia]

[Translation] MY★STAR vol.3 × Tsukiuta. - Interview with the leaders

I wanted to treat myself for my birthday somehow so I started to dig my collection again. I tried to google if this was translated before but no result, so here it is. The magazine also has some interviews featuring Gravi, Procella, SQ and Alive, so if you want to see any of that in the future, let me know.

Many thanks to Ryota for helping me proof this. Please don’t repost/reuse my translations.

—— This issue is a special edition featuring the leaders, so I would like to talk a bit about the leaders of both units, and about the members who support the two of them.

Haru: Ooh. A special edition about the leaders. Hajime, Shun, do your best ♪

Hajime: You too? Work hard, Mr. acting supervisor.

Haru: Ahaha, yess.

Shun: I don’t want to move, if possible I want to sleep until I die and personally I prefer it if things just finish off while I'm sleeping. I’ve always been that type of person, but with Hajime here, I will give my all. Please, leave everything to me (-work mode on-)

Kai: Please cut this part.

—— First of all, what kind of group is each unit from everyone’s perspective?

Hajime: Gravi is based on cooperation and a sense of unity. Although our personalities and characters may differ, we seek and dream about the same, strange things. That’s the kind of unit we are.

Shun: On the other hand, Procella is all about variety and flexibility. Individually we have stronger points than Gravi, and those very points collide, blend with each other, sometimes even changing their shape. However, our confidence is absolute…... that’s how we are.

Haru: Rather than categorizing as good as bad, in the end everyone loves their unit and at the same time acknowledges the rival unit. This is the dynamic of our relationship.

Kai: You could say we are opposites but in a good way.

—— What was your impression when you met the group members for the first time?

Hajime: In the beginning…...they seemed like lively guys.

Haru: Same for me. At that time I was sitting next to Hajime, but it felt like they were very attentive of him.

Hajime: Ah that. Well, when they heard that we’d all be living in the dorms together, they may have strangely been terrified or just trying to be respectful, but wouldn’t that just be troublesome on both sides? They got wary of their own. Though right now, that’s a thing of the past.

Haru: Hmmm? Hajime is an only child, so you’ve probably never been in that posture. On the other hand, I’m a bit more carefree. I’m happy that it feels like I got a younger brother, but having to handle all four at once was unexpected. 

Kai: Aah, I’m like Haru. For me it felt like I got more younger brothers. All of them are actually good boys. And they seemed like fun, which got me excited too. What about you, Shun? You seem like an only child type like Hajime…... or maybe not. You did trespass into my room while you were eating when we first met.

Haru: That’s amazing (-laughs-).

Shun: Ahaha. To me, everyone became like family from the moment I received the report on them! There were many things I had to prepare and thus my arrival at the dorm was long delayed compared to the others, but inside my heart they had all already become very close friends. When I got to see them for the first time, my impression was ‘I finally get to meet them’.

Hajime: Shun, you said that before too, didn’t you? During our first meeting.

Shun: Yes, yes, you still remember that, Hajime! From the instant I saw their pictures, I’ve always, aaaaalways been wanting to meet them! These are my heartfelt words! 

Hajime: Yeah, yeah.

Haru: Shun is as always Hajime’s passionate fan.

Kai: Right? Well, I guess we got used to it.

—— Here’s a question for Haru-san and Kai-san. From your point of view, what kind of leaders are Hajime-san and Shun-san?

Haru: Hajime is…...our king.

Hajime: Oi, Haru.

Haru: Ahaha. He may hate being called king, but I think all the Gravi members think of him that way. We could all affirm ‘Our king is, e-hem, amazing, right?’ He’s reliable and friendly as well, and that’s why he’s ‘our’ king. The impact he has on people after one glance may awake a certain sense of wariness in the beginning, but he’s also got a childish side, so please look after him. Joking?

Hajime: ……. 

Haru: Ah, he got embarrassed. 

Shun: Okay, cheese -click- !

Hajime: ~~You two.

Kai: Okay, okay, there, there (-laughs-). To Procella it also feels like Hajime is ‘our king’~. On the other hand, Shun is ‘our demon lord’! He’s freewheeling and unpredictable, but he looks after everyone and he’s ready to accept anything. That’s why we admire him as our leader. Guess that’s how I’ll put it.

Haru: From Gravi’s perspective, Shun is also ‘our demon lord’ (-laughs-). There are times when we can’t help but feel excited thinking what he might do next. Let’s hope the king and the demon lord continue to do their best.

Shun: Fufufu, count on us.

—— Please tell us if there’s any episode where these two showed their leader qualities.

Haru: An episode about their leadership……. The two can…...pretty much do anything…… they’re actually the types that are too good in what they do…….

Kai: Right? They are absurdly smart, and they have good reflexes too. They catch me off guard in every single moment of the day, and at the same time I still end up thinking ‘Even so, as expected from the leaders’.

Haru: I know what you mean (-earnestly-)

Shun: Did you hear that, Hajime?

Hajime: ……. I don’t think that…...you have to go that far…….

Shun: Right?

Haru: Now as you can see, both of them have the same system of values, see the world from the same perspective and there are times when they both strangely understand each other, so Kai and me have been doing their best to try and act as bridges between them and ordinary people sometimes.

Kai: We do (-earnestly-)

Hajime & Shun: ?

—— This time the question is for Hajime-san and Shun-san. If you have some great stories about your two acting supervisors, please tell us.

Haru: Oh, this question is about us.

Kai: I want to hear the answers, but I’m scared at the same time.

Hajime: I think Haru is someone who pays attention to the smallest detail when it comes to his surroundings. When all I can look at is what’s ahead of me, or when the others behind us are all getting distracted, he’s there to tell us off. He speaks a lot and his glasses are his essence, basically.

Haru: Hold on!?

Hajime: But well, he’s a good guy.

Haru: That was a rough summarization!

Shun: To someone as sluggish as me, Kai is a person brimming with energy who works like a dog.

Kai: Then work!? You should work a bit more!?

Shun: He’s the type who can live on uninhabited islands, live and go on even stuck in the mountains empty handed, he can fish and he’s even an idol as a side job ☆

Kai: Wai- haaa!? Don’t just call that a side job!?

—— Another question for Hajime-san and Shun-san. As fellow leaders, what’s the thing that amazes you the most about each other?

Hajme: Something impressive about Shun……. His freedom and relaxed manner, I suppose? There are also times when I’m jealous of his softness, it’s something I don’t have.

Shun: In my case, I like Hajime’s sincerity, strong will, his ernest attitude and his dedication to aim for even higher grounds no matter where he is.

Hajime: …… Shun. I think we were asked about ‘things you appreciate about the other leader’, rather than what you like or dislike.

Shun: Well, those are the things I find amazing about you as a leader, you know? Fufufu.

Hajime: Yeah, yeah.

Kai: Wow, you leaders keep praising each other, but I’ll never forget how sketchy you made us sound.

Haru: Me too.

Shun: Ahaha, no no, Kai and Haru. What we said a while ago was indeed accurate but, you both really are reliable and trustworthy, okay?

Hajime: Yeah, he’s right. Haru, Kai, we’re counting on you.

Kai & Haru: See, that’s just what we meant…… (-good grief-).

If you like my work and you want to support me, you can now buy me a coffee by clicking right [here]. I also started taking commissions, more details are right [here]. Thank you~

[douxreviews]

Star Trek: Discovery - ‘New Eden’ Review

Pike: "If you're telling me that this ship can skip across the universe on a highway made of mushrooms, I kind of have to take it on faith."

By nature I love brevity: Though the improvements to Discovery as a whole continue to do their work, this episode is bogged down by its attempt at religious themes when it lacks a clear understanding of religion.

'New Eden' starts out with the same log that closed out last week's 'Brother.' The opening scene with Burnham and Pike is a good example of the new status quo aboard the Disco. The friendlier, more team-oriented leadership of Captain Pike combined with the more relaxed, less anxious tone of the series as a whole make the scenes on the Disco herself work well. The character interactions were good, particularly between Saru and Tilly. I also thought the final solution looked really cool, even if there are numerous science gripes one could take. It was fairly obvious that Tilly's friend wasn't real, and once we found out it was a friend from her childhood, I guessed that she was dead. Still, that didn't make their interactions any less fun to watch, and the moment Tilly figures out that May is dead was sufficiently creepy. I think it's Mary Wiseman's expression that really sells it.

My chief gripe with the episode lies in the scenes set on the planet. To explain fully why I don't like these sequences, I'll have to get pretty in depth with philosophy. If you're not interested in reading all that, the TL;DR is that the episode fails to understand religion or religious people enough to portray them realistically, and that its attempts to stay above religious disagreements and not take sides lead it to unintentionally choose a different side entirely. There's a lot more to unpack than just that, though, and that's really the bulk of what I have to say about this episode, so continue on if you are interested in engaging your philosophical side.

There's an old story about five blind wise men wandering through the desert. After a time, they come across an elephant, and unable to see it, they reach out to touch the creature. The first grabs hold of the leg and declares, 'The elephant is like a tree.' The second grabs hold of the trunk and says, 'No, the elephant is like a snake.' The third grabs hold of the tail and corrects both, 'No, the elephant is like a rope.' The fourth grabs hold of the ear and informs them, 'The elephant is actually like a heavy piece of leather.' And the final one grabs hold of the elephant's side and says, 'It's clear the elephant is like a wall.' The five blind wise men go on their way, arguing about who is right and really knows what the elephant is like.

Anyone who's ever sat through a philosophy class will tell you the purpose of the story and its moral: the five blind wise men cannot agree on what the elephant is like because none of them has the full picture. Each has a piece of the puzzle, but none of them can see the totality of the elephant. This is then used as an analogy for God. No one religion can have the whole picture because we are all blind wise men who have only a part of it right. From the ideological basis that this story illustrates have come a multitude of pluralistic movements and systems of thought. Someone who has a 'Coexist' bumper sticker on their car or who describes themself as 'Generally spiritual, but not confined to any religion' probably derives their worldview from this basic concept. Though I happen to disagree with this idea of God, I won't argue this here. The problem comes when this is touted as a religious awakening that all religious people should agree with and get behind.

Let me ask you this: how do you know that the five blind wise men all have only a part of the puzzle? How do you know that the whole elephant isn't really like a rope, or a tree? The answer, of course, is because you know what the elephant is really like. It's because you can see. So someone who takes this analogy from the story of the five blind wise men and the elephant makes the following claim: Of all the many people on Earth who have searched for the truth, I alone can see. This is, of course, the central claim of anyone who believes they know what God is like. So the 'Coexist' spirituality is itself a religion, with its own view of God, though perhaps a view that's not definitively established. And because it is a separate religion in and of itself, it contradicts the other religions that it often claims to incorporate into its beliefs.

A monotheistic religion, like Christianity or Judaism or Islam, explicitly requires that its deity be the only true deity, and the only correct view of that deity. No one who truly believes in the Biblical God or Yahweh or Allah would ever decide that, just because everyone in their group believes something different, their true savior must be a part of all of those beliefs. The expectation that this will occur assumes both that all religions are essentially compatible with each other and that the amalgamation of these religions is a true cooperation of all of them rather than a separate religion itself. Both assumptions are false.

The resulting misconception of religion makes 'New Eden' somewhat hard to watch for a religious person like myself. Going the route of a combination of every religion is a clear attempt to not have to choose a side, but in the very attempt it chooses a side all its own. And making it so much about sides creates the friction between belief systems we see nowadays. Instead of pretending we all believe essentially the same thing, let's recognize where we disagree and be human beings together apart from that. Of course you should try to convince people if you truly believe you are right - it's an important question - but if you can't live with someone who makes a different choice about where they put their faith, you're in for a difficult life. This, along with the whole science vs. faith theme - a trope that needs to die - make all of the sequences on the planet fall flat and far short of where they could be.

The execution of this episode was perfectly fine, I just didn't like the writing choices they made on the planet. Jonathan Frakes continues to serve as a competent and proficient director, and all the acting was good. Sonequa Martin-Green seems to have settled into the role of Burnham much more this season, which I appreciate, and all our main characters continue to do well.

Strange New Worlds:

The planet was called Terralysium by its inhabitants. What we saw of it seemed like a fairly run-of-the-mill small country town.

New Life and New Civilizations:

The Red Angel continues to overshadow the season. It's also possible that the being who looks like May is actually some other creature. As far as civilizations go, the New Edeners fell flat.

Pensees:

-Spock is in a psych ward at Starbase 5. Huh.

-Pike has already redecorated his ready room so it has seats.

-I liked Stamets' fears that he'll see Culber in the network and won't be able to leave. Since Wilson Cruz is a regular this season, expect more of that.

-So, after all that pluralistic vague religion, mushrooms are the source of eternal life? Okay then.

-We heard a bit about WWIII, an event well-documented in Trek history.

-Lt. Owosekun grew up in a Luddite community, huh? I bet her parents weren't too thrilled with her decision to join the high-tech Starfleet.

-If the asteroid material weighs so much, how was Burnham able to hold a chunk of it last episode?

-It was great to see Saru acting as a mentor to Tilly. More, please; those are my two favorite characters!

-Stamets knew exactly what was going on on the bridge before he even entered. Hmmm...

-So, it's quite the coincidence that the Red Angel happened to grab a group of soldiers that contained at least one Christian, one Jew, one Muslim, one Buddhist, one Hindu, one Shintoist, and one Wiccan. Seems unlikely that you'd find that sort of cross-section of religions in any group of soldiers. Also, every one of them had a copy of their scripture on them at the time?

-I love Detmer's reaction to Tilly's plan. Actually, I just love Detmer in general.

-The one bit of religious theme/imagery I really appreciated was at the end when Jacob plugs the power source into the church and the lights turn on. They'd said that the reason pilgrimages had stopped was because the lights were off, and here science solved that problem. Science fueled faith, which is a cooperation of the two that you don't often see in television.

-I'm surprised they so easily used the spore drive. I thought after the end of last season it would take a whole lot for them to use it again.

Quotes:

Saru: "Before we can care for others, we must care for ourselves."

Tilly: "No, I think your orders are probably good. I need to go pass out now."

Pike: "Don't make me laugh." Burnham: "Fortunately for you, I was raised on Vulcan. We don't do funny." Pike: *laughs*

Burnham: "Sir, I learned the hard way what not following orders can lead to."

3 out of 6 fungi of eternal life.

CoramDeo got tired of sitting around and picking blackberries.

[tsukiyadori]

Translation Script of Eureka Seven AO Final Episode: One More Time - Lord Don't Slow Me Down

After some 4 years, and almost pretty much out of nowhere, they decided to make a Pachinko Game for Eureka 7 AO. To promote this, they created this new final episode, which was split into 5 ~5 Minutes ONAs released over the span of 3 month, before being followed up by the announcement of the Hi-Evolution movies.

Despite being a promotion for the pachinko game it really has nothing to do with it at all. Instead, it's the full version of the last two minutes of Episode 24 of the TV series, with some details being retconned. As such, you either ought remember a good deal of the show or have to rewatch it. 

It’s legally and freely avaible to watch on the Pachinko Game Sammy Cooperation’s Channel on Youtube. They actually made some effort to have all on screen writings in both Japanese and English, but no subs are available. 

I kind of really enjoyed this episode. Nobody has bothered making a translation as far as I can see, so here is mine.   (Although chances are high most E7 lovers who don’t really like the AO Season probably don’t care anyway I suppose...) 

[] indicates the one frigging name of some Kyrie equiment. I haven’t really been able to properly discern from the audio, so it’s just my best guess. I even had a rewatch, but either it wasn’t there or I missed it.

A Part:

Ao: Where are we going to now, Truth?

Truth: We have destroyed the walls of the world with the Quartz Gun. Due to that we have been exposed to a large quantity of quartz and in consequence became entities to roam though time.

Ao: ... I know that. It's the same with mother. In other words. We don't know where we will end up at.

Ao: Mother from then would give birth to my sister and no matter how often she overwrote the world she couldn't return at all. Is that it?

Truth: I’d like you not to give up as much.

Ao: It can't be helped, can it? I can only stay here, until he get to somewhere.

Truth: That is the first Scub Coral, that arrived here.

Ao: 10 thousand years further into the future, right?

Truth: In a defense mechanism the world has given emmergence to the Secrets. And then the Scubs escaped in to the distant past of your era.

Ao: Yes. But I will say this: Welcome to the new world, Scubs. Let's get along!

Breathe with all your might. Naru. You have to get along with the Scubs inside of you. If you do that, they will also answer your. You are... We all will breath along, grow up and live with the Scubs.

Naru: Hmmm...

Truth: So Ao. Where do we go next?

B Part:

Truth: Looks like the Carribean Sea. Assuming from the shape of the ship, it's probably the year 1981.

Ao: Year 1981... The Carribean Sea... Oh! Right!

Truth: I don't know, what you intend to do, but if you get outside of me, you will become an undefined existence.

Ao: I know that! I'd be a ghost, right?

Truth: No, you wouldn't. You would overlap inside of time and just not exist.

Ellen: It's fine. Even now, an angel will come to help me. See?

Ao: Elena... ah wrong... Right I haven't asked your real name.

Ellen: Hey! Do something already!

Ao: Ah. That part was without a doubt Elena. Sorry. That's how it is. But. I can at least cheer you up!

Ellen: Cheer me up? In this situation? Just cheering me up?

Ao: S-Sorry. But. Do you best.

Ellen: Even without you telling me that There is nothing else I can do, is there?

Finally got into the mood to help me?

Ao: Er, no... If I can, I'd like to make a request.

Ellen: What?

Elena Peoples?

Elena: Y-Yes.

Ellen: Don't get spoiled. Use your own hands to come up.

Elena: Y-Yes! Thank you... very much.

Ellen: A green angel has told me a long time ago. That another scub burst would occur after 40 years. And that among the victims there would a girl called Elena Peoples.

Elena: How did that person know about me?

Ellen: I don't know. Ao he called himself... I think? But next time, it's probably your turn.

Elena: *nod*

Ellen: We have been pereparing for this day all this time. Me and Christoph. Now all that's left is you, Ao.

C Part

Maeve:  Ah, sorry, we aren't open today.

Maggie: Are you from there?

Maeve: Yes! Are you Korean?

Maggie: I'm here in Bellforest until today.

Tommorow I'll head to the North Pole Light. Do you know Hong Kong?

Maeve: Hmmm. Ah! It's in Asia, right?!

Sorry.

Maeve: You know...

Maggie: Are you alright?

Maeve: Thanks. Aaah. Will it be fine?!

Maggie: Eh?

Maeve: My little sister will be born soon! I want to be an elder sister to her, so I spent my pocket money and finally got it.

Maggie: It's not dirtied anywhere. It's fine.

Maeve: Really? Thank god!

Maggie: Bruno... Ah, somehow, I just thought about that name...

Maeve: That! Me too!

Maggie: Eh?

Maeve: Me too! Ever since I saw this one, I always thought that Bruno would be fine!

Maggie: Eeh?!

Maeve: It's strange somehow, right, Bruno?

Maggie: She's born?

Maeve: Uwaah. What should I do?!

Maggie: You have to quickly bring Bruno over.

Maeve: Ah. Right. Thanks!

Woman: Maggie! We should get going!

What's wrong?

Maggie: I'm coming!

That boy right now... I think I know him from somewhere...

D Part:

Hannah: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just a moment... Hm? That's...

Maggie: That's Hannah Mamma for you. She acts fast. Do that's  the target place.

Rebecka: President! President!!

Advertising: We, Generation Blue, observe and use Trapars securely...

Rebecka: Where's the president?!

Reception woman: Which one?

Rebecka: Both!

As said before, Poseidon has already begun. The satelites have started moving. In several minutes the formation will be complete. You will dispatch right away, president.

Fleur: Erm, erm. What's this about? I don't understand a thing!

Christoph: Everything goes according to plan.

Fleur: Papa!

Rebecka: President! Oh, I'm sorry. Former President!

Fleur: Really, just stay in bed already!

Christoph: What, these injuries are nothing.

Getting along with the union and holding fast onto the Quartz, getting transfered to the Japanese main office. - It was all for this today!

Fleur: Look. I am the president now, so say it in a way I can understand!

The Quartz accident from 2016? Do you still remember him? The green haired boy?

Oh? Didn't she get red? Didn't she?

Fleur: What about that?!

Christoph: His name is Ao. Right, Elena?

Fleur: Huh?

Elena: Yes. I did mention it before, did I? That I have two mothers. My real mother and a second mother... who saved me at the Scub Burst.

This second mother has told me that the green haired boy has told her to save me.

Fleur: What's this about?

Rebecka: It's not just you or Elena. There are records of the green haired boy named Ao throughout the world.

Fleur: Even though there are articles from long ago, Isn't he always looking like a child?

Christoph: I've also heard something from Chief Ivica. He has once meet a woman called Eureka. She has told him that a boy with the same green hair as hers exists. That boy would definitely come back. And more than anything does she wants us to save him. We have looked for a boy called Ao. But he didn't exist anywhere in this world. We have waited. For him to come.

Fleur: I have met him after all!

Rebecka: Quartz posesses the property to go back in time. If he has been influences by the Quartz and is drifting though time, then...

Fleur: Then what? Then what are you going to do?

Christoph: Isn't it obvious? If he is drifting, we, his amis will just save him. [”amis” is french for “friends”]

Fleur: Uwah. Papa!

Christoph: So. Let's begin! Operation Astral Ocean will start!

E Part:

Hannah: Trapar concentration confirmed. The weak response is here. Start transcripting the Quartz Gun!

Ao: What's that? What has happened?

Truth: I don't know. It seems as if something has pulled me out. Ao. I've investigated it, but... We are currently over Ikinawa in the year 2027.

Rebecka: Secrets will detonate upon contact with Quartz. To make practical use of this, we will cause a Scub Burst at the target machine and cleanse them from the Quartz.

Christoph: We only have one chance. Understand, Fleur. Generation Blue exists for this moment.

Fleur: What does that mean?

Christoph: He hasn't just saved you long ago. I don't understand the circumstances, but I think he has saved the world. That's why we have made preparations. To bring him back. If this mission fails, you will also be dragged into the Scub Burst. But...

Fleur: I understand. I'll try it. Papa.

Elena: Let's go Fleur.

Fleur: Yes!

Ao: The Alleluia? Kyrie? Do they want to attack me?

Truth: This world isn't the world you know anymore. Fukai Ao might not exist anymore. Therefore, nobody will remember you.

Fleur: H-hey! Don't run away!

Ao: They're following! Do they really want to bring me down?

Elena: Target Scope open Manning the [Seiphiro]

Ao: What? What's this?! Uwaah...

Truth: These are... Secrets!

Ao: What's this? What ha...ppened?

Truth: The Quartz that we took in... has been extinguished.

Ao: Eh? Then? We don't have to wander around anymore?

Truth: But this is not the world where you've been. It's harsh, but this is a world where "Ao" doesn't exist.

Ao: So what? Even if nobody knows me. I have... I.. have returned! What will you do, Truth?

Truth: To me this is just a place I droped by accidentially. This is goodbye. Well then.

Perhaps I was mistaken. If this wasn't a world without Ao, but everything was Ao's world, then...

Elena: You are Ao... right?

Fleur: I remember you. I'm Fleur. I have been saved by you!

Diffrences to the original 2 minutes epilogue of TV Series episode 24:

- The original epilogue was just a 2 Minute run down of just Ao and Truth arriving in the new alternate 2027 and briefly talking over what happened to them after they shot the Quartz Gun and saved Eureka.

- This episodes shows how the loneliness gnaws at Ao's psyche and just how much of a salvation coming back is to him. Ao in the original epilogue looks way more mentally healthy and resolved and doesn’t even really care all that much even if nobody remembers him. 

- In the original Truth stays all battered up, in the final episode he gets a facelift at the end.

- In the original epilogue Ao and Truth bidding farewell has a bit more dialogue. Truth says, he wanted to see more of the world and continues to move through time. In the Final episode, he says, he’s just an accidential visitor passing by until eventually he also moves through time. (Only very briefly shown through the three circles of a scub burst.) Ao also just bids farewell without expressing a hope for them to meet again.

[rhetorical-ink]

Rhetorical Ink Reviews: Twin Peaks, "Zen, or the Skill to Catch a Killer” Review

**SPOILERS BELOW**

I continue my first viewing of the cult classic TV series, Twin Peaks.So far, I feel I’m piecing it all together, and at the same time, I feel it’s all falling apart with more questions. Hopefully more will make sense with...

My Top Ten Thoughts on Twin Peaks, Season One, Episode Three:

10. We’re introduced to “Uncle Jerry” and his French baguette sandwiches he’s brought back; it’s a bizarre and abrupt scene and is SO odd to open on...it left me thinking, “What just happened?” Also...I didn’t realize that the pair are “Ben and Jerry.” Ha!

9. Oh my gosh, how AWKWARD when the parents leave Donna and James alone in the room. Don’t forget you have church at 9 a.m., Donna!

8. One-Eyed Jack’s is weeeeeeeeiiiiirrrrrrdddd....so it’s a brothel? Or Hell? “Blackie” and her lady friends are awfully suspicious...and that “new girl;” doesn’t she kind of look like Laura Palmer, or is it just me?

7. That entire scene with Leo, Bobby, and Mike, and whoever else that was with Leo, was so tense and creepy...I was sure one of them was going to get shot. Talk about freaking me out...this show somehow has a really scary vibe and I don’t know what to make of it....well, except that Bobby is an idiot. And so is Mike. Shelly’s right up there too for letting Bobby in...

6. I like Cooper’s “bottle game” to figure out the killer...though, I really wish he’d have thrown for the “One-Eyed Jack” place; it would have been interesting to have heard or saw what happened with those.

5. Audrey is such a strange character, but she’s so pretty that you are just magnetized to her in the show...I wish I could read her more or understand her. It is clear though that she has an odd crush on Detective Cooper...and maybe had a jealousy of Laura Palmer. Hmmm...

4. Can I say that I love Lucy Morgan! She’s so delightfully ditzy and sweet! I hate that Albert and his team treat her so bad when they show up. Leave Lucy alone; she’s a national treasure!

3. Nadine is clearly unhinged...I do get why she wanted to make those curtain openers now...she wants to be “rich” with her invention. At least there’s a method to her madness somewhat now. Her character seems like a red herring...as if we know she’s mad, but it doesn’t go anywhere. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

2. There are, for that matter, a lot of characters whose motivations I’m still unsure about...the triangle (or other geometric shape for that matter) of Josie, Catharine, and the “Mink Oil” man as I call him right now leaves me wondering where that will go...especially since their storyline is directly linked to Audrey and the Sheriff.

Then there’s Laura’s parents, who are clearly struggling with the death of their daughter. Lelan’s actor does a great job in the scene, just like the mother...but man...that blood smearing scene is a bit psychotic.

1. Okay....so those last few minutes....WHAT.

We get visions via Cooper of several strange things. The strange short man in red with Laura...who speaks almost backwards -- oh, sorry, his cousin who “looks like Laura Palmer.” This whole scene is bizarre....also, right before that, we see two older men named Mike and Bob, who are clearly serial killers or seem to be....is it coincidence that we have two unhinged characters named Mike and Bobby already in our current story?

In any case, the “cousin/lookalike” to Laura Palmer kisses Cooper (who even himself looks odd here), and whispers something in his ear...and then...Cooper wakes up to call the Sheriff to tell him he knows who killed Laura, before snapping in rhythm with the odd song.

So yeah, still curious, but hoping more questions are answered or at least given hints....the short man in red definitely has “Lucifer” or “alien” vibes to him. We shall see where it goes.