#well they haven’t been online since 2023

[bad268]

Could u write a princess of Monaco and Arthur lecrelc , I see this being written so much for Charles and none for Arthur

thank you :)

Queen of Monaco (Arthur Leclerc X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Formula 2/3

Requested: Clearly (haha we have the same mind bc I was already drafting this before you requested it)

Warnings: death of parents and brother (mentioned), google translate, the Monaco curse is affecting Arthur now and that's a warning itself bro. I am in denial about the race results today, so I made this to make me happy.

Pronouns: She/Her

W.C. 4108

Summary: The beginning of the relationship between Arthur Leclerc and the Queen of Monaco.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(@/Arthur's insta from January 29, 2023)

It was a normal day in Monaco. It was not a race week, and there were no pressing matters to attend. I had just returned to Monaco last week after attending the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States, but I just received my Bachelor's degree and wanted to return home before starting my Master's. I decided to take my first semester online, so I could go home and spend time with my family.

When I got back, my parents urgently began to train me for the throne even though I was not next in line. Despite having an older brother who was scheduled to become the King of Monaco after my parents, he had to serve in the military before he could move forward. They wanted to have me prepare in the event that something happened to him in battle. 

I had never really been in the public eye due to my brother being the next in line. He was always the one attending meetings, trainings, and keeping up appearances. I was free to do as I pleased for the most part, but in 2015, they sent me to a training school in London. It taught the basics of monarchy and the foundations of how to run a country. It was the same one my brother attended. Even in my spare time, I found my passion in mechanical engineering and aerodynamics. It took some persuasion, but my parents allowed me to attend MIT after my graduation because they were so sure that I would not be needed. My brother is in the final stages of the training. All he needed to do was finish the last few months of military training, and then he would be crowned. 

Upon my return, I learned that my mother was ill, so they wanted to get my brother crowned quickly. However, they practically had to start from square one since I was provided very minimal training in London. My father was furious, not at me, but at the situation they had been placed in. They told me the best thing I could do while they prepare the training is to memorize Monaco as it had been nearly seven years since I had been here. 

I was walking down the pier, looking at all of the little shops that lined the pavement and the boats at the dock. There was a small ice cream shop, a couple of clothing stores, a few restaurants, and a salon. I realized that I had not had my hair professionally done since before college, so I thought it would be a good idea to treat myself.

“Bonjour, comment puis-je vou aider? (Hello, how can I help you?)” A lady greeted me as I stepped through the door. It was a small shop, no one else was in there, but it was cute and welcoming other than the fact that I could not remember French for the life of me.

“I’m sorry, my French is no good,” I replied sheepishly, fully prepared to leave, but the woman stopped me.

“Oh, not a problem, dear. My name is Pascale, what can I help you with?” She smiled, kindly, leading me over to one of the chairs. 

“Well, I haven’t gotten my hair done in almost four years, so I think it’s time to freshen up,” I explained. 

“Oh perfect, I can most certainly help with that,” She laughed, placing an apron around my shoulders. “Are you thinking about dye, highlights, trim, cutting…” She started listing more but I couldn't follow along with all of the terminology. 

“Uh, probably just a trim,” I chuckled, “my parents would kill me if I showed up with short, dyed hair.”

“Not a problem at all,” she grinned and began cutting the ends, little by little, as we made small conversations. “What do you do for work?”

“I actually don’t have a job at the moment,” technically, “but I just came back from the United States. I was at MIT for the last four years, getting my bachelors in mechanical engineering and aerodynamics, and before that, I attended boarding school in London.”

“That’s interesting,” she hummed, “Sounds like you like Formula 1?”

“Not so much the races. I just like the cars,” I laughed in response. “I like learning what could make the cars better, faster, stronger, and safer, but the actual races aren't something for me. I watched one too many accidents end badly, so I can never find enjoyment in it anymore. The last race I went to was in Japan, and I lost my best friend.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that, dear. If you ever need to talk, I’m here,” Pascale consoled. I looked at her confused through the mirror. She just set the scissors down just as her phone got a notification. She pulled out her phone and opened the notification. It was a text message with a picture. “That is my son, Charles, and his best friend, Pierre. They’re in Formula 1. They went out karting today, and he just sent me this.”

“Oh, Charles Leclerc and Pierre Gasly! I know them,” I recognized immediately. “That’s your son?”

“Yeah, he’s always had this passion for driving, so I’m proud to see him living his dreams,” She smiled, putting her phone back, and resumed cutting my hair.

“Well, I’m proud of him too, and I don’t even know him.” I laughed. 

“Maybe, if you’d ever change your mind, you could join us for a race,” Pascale offered. “Only if you’re up for it.”

“I’ll have to see, but probably not,” I declined nervously. 

“It’s not a problem, dear,” She said, patting my shoulders. “But you are all done. How do you like it?”

My hair was shorter by a couple of inches, but it felt so much lighter and healthier than it did earlier today. “I love it so much, Pascale! Thank you so much! How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing, just promise you’ll think about joining us? It would do you some good to get to know more people, and you could even check out the cars before the race! If you’re not comfortable staying for the race, you can always leave. Just promise you’ll think about it before immediately rejecting it?” She pleaded.

“Fine, I’ll think about it,” I laughed, “but only because you were so persuasive!”

–

The next time I was out in the streets was nearly a week later. My time was being packed with different trainings and attending private events, but nothing public yet so as to not stir up controversy. I decided to go to a local bakery and get some tea and some food. The food in the castle just did not compare to my favorite bakery. Not by a long shot. 

When I walked in, there were not a lot of people in there. It was a small shop with only two tables and a counter. There was the person behind the counter, Ella, and three people at the tables. One sat by himself and the other two occupied the second table. I approached Ella and ordered a tea and sandwich. She said she would bring it right over once it was finished, and I approached the man sitting by himself.

“Bonjour,” I greeted, my French was slowly coming back to me but not enough to carry a full conversation. The man looked up from his phone at me. He had blue eyes and shady blonde hair. He had airpods in and took one out as I approached the table. “My name is Y/n. Would it be alright if I sit with you? The other table is filled.”

 “Of course,” He responded immediately, moving the bag that was hanging on the other chair to the floor. “I’m Arthur.”

“Nice to meet you, Arthur. Thank you for letting me sit with you,” I laughed, taking the seat that he pulled out for me. “I really appreciate that.”

“It’s my pleasure,” He chuckled along, “It was just empty anyway.”

~

That was the start of an inseparable bond. It was strange having someone so close again because even though I had some friends in school, they were never as close as Arthur was. For the first couple of months, any time that was not filled with training was spent with each other. Whether it be chilling in his apartment, driving around Monaco, boat rides, and random trips around France and Italy, we were content with doing random acts of entertainment. It didn’t take long before he asked me to be his girlfriend.

One thing we knew would be difficult is the time commitments. With his recent change from Formula 3 to Formula 2 and more royal training for me, we knew it was going to be more time-consuming. That didn’t stop us, however. Tuesdays were the most random day of the week, but neither of us had any responsibilities.

One day in particular, the day before he was set to go to Australia, we were at his apartment, and I was helping him pack since he *conveniently* forgot. We had gone to get smoothies and acai bowls earlier that morning before heading to his apartment. Then, after we ate, we put on some music as background noise while we packed and conversed back and forth.

“Would you ever come to a race with me?” He asked as he pulled a couple of shirts out of his closet. “I know you didn’t have a good experience at the last one, but would you be willing to give it another time?”

“I don’t know, A. I get anxiety just knowing you’re racing,” I explained. Moving to fold the shirts he’s pulling out. 

“That sound like an improvement!” He laughed, jumping over and wrapping his arms around my shoulders as I put the folded clothes in the suitcase. “When we first started talking, you said no immediately. Now, you’re saying you don’t know.”

“What can I say?” I leaned back into his embrace, “You are pretty persuasive.”

“What are the chances of you coming to the Monaco Grand Prix with me?”

“The odds are in your favor since I don’t go anywhere,” I laughed in response. He turned me around in his arms. He was pouting and had his head tilted slightly. “No, don’t do the puppy face. You know I can’t say no to that face.”

“Please?”

With a heavy sigh and a joking eye roll, I caved. I was about to vocalize my decision, but my phone started ringing. This time, my sigh was out of annoyance after seeing it was from Mila, my personal guard and trainer.  “I need to answer that, but yes, I promise to go to the Monaco Grand Prix with you.”

“Of course,” He exclaimed, kissing me all over my face. “I will take care of everything. You go take the call, and I’ll finish packing in here.”

With a small smile, I walked out of his bedroom to the living room and stepped out onto the balcony before answering the phone. “Hi, Mila. What did I forget?”

“Nothing, but are you near the palace?” She responded. Just the tone of her voice made me nervous.

“Not really, I’m about 20 minutes away. Do I need to head back?” 

“Yes, let me know when you get here.” And with that, she hung up. I walked back in to see Arthur with his suitcase fully packed by the door.

“I need to head home,” I started. “Something’s not right.”

“That’s fine,” He reassured, pulling me into a hug. “I’ll need to head out for my flight soon anyway, so I’ll walk you to your car.” 

During the drive back, my mind wandered. Was there a meeting I missed? I couldn’t remember having anything scheduled on a Tuesday. Most meetings were on Mondays or Wednesdays and policy training sessions were Thursdays and Fridays. Maybe there was a last-minute meeting.

Pulling through the gates, I texted Mila once I parked in our car park, and a few guards were waiting for me. “Hi, what did I miss?”

“Y/n, we need to talk,”  one of the guards, Chris, said, and right then, I knew things were worse than I thought. We walked through the corridors to reach one of the meeting rooms, but the only person in there was Mila. The guards immediately turned around and left the room.

“Mila-”

“Have a seat,” She cut me off, gesturing to the seat next to her. I took it hesitantly as I looked at her skeptically. “So, I’m not going to beat around the bush with this. As you know, your mother, the queen, was sick.”

“I assume she died then? That’s what this was for?” I cut her short. However, there was something on her face that said she wasn’t finished. “Okay, I’ll let you continue.”

She shook her head dismissively, “No, it’s fine, but you’re right. She passed away early this morning.”

“So my brother will be crowned when he comes back?”

“That’s the next news,” Mila paused. I encouraged her to just rip the bandaid off because I was getting impatient. “Your father went to the base to get your brother, but there was an explosion. There was a gas leak, and somehow the building they were in exploded. We’re still waiting on the details.”

“Wait, so my entire family…” I trailed off, but she knew where I was going. She just nodded solemnly as she pulled me into her side. “So that means…”

“It means you are to be the queen.”

~

Third POV

Ever since the Melbourne Grand Prix, Arthur has been talking about how his girlfriend was going to join him on the paddock for the Monaco Grand Prix. To say that his friends and brothers teased him would be putting it lightly. Any chance they could, they asked questions about this “girlfriend” of his that they had never heard of, and Arthur was willing to spill all of the details. On the Thursday before the Monaco Grand Prix when he was driving to the track with Charles, he accidentally let it slip that he actually had not heard from her recently. He asked Charles to check his phone to see if she had texted him recently.

“Wait, you haven't heard from her in over a month and you’re not at all worried?” Charles asked, very concerned for someone he’s never met.

“No, we’ve definitely texted recently,” Arthur responded in disbelief. When they pulled up to a red light, Charles showed him that the last message from her was April 1. “No, we’ve definitely talked.”

“Here, pull over. We’ll switch, so you can call her, and I’ll drive us the rest of the way to the track,” Charles said, already getting out of the car as soon as they were on the shoulder. He immediately dialed her number, and after a few rings, it went to voicemail. He thought about leaving her a voice message, but she was already calling him back before he could start.

“Hey, traffic is hideous, but I’m almost there,” She started her explanation. She was sitting in the backseat with a couple of guards, and Mila as her driver took them to the track. “Are you already there?”

“No, we’re not there yet,” he laughed. “Charles and I are still stuck in traffic, but we noticed that I hadn’t messaged you since the Australian Grand Prix. Thought I would call to see if you were still coming.” Charles was half listening to the conversation, but he was smiling to himself, hearing how lovestruck his younger brother sounded.

“Oh, definitely,” She chuckled. Mila nudged the girl with a knowing grin. “I’ve just been insanely busy recently, but I promised. On the bright side, I finished my training!”

“No way, I’m so proud of you, ma chéri!” Arthur cheered. Charles was a little confused as he pulled into the track, but let it go, knowing Arthur would explain it later. “Does that mean there will be a ceremony or something?”

“You could call it a ceremony, yes,” She giggled. She noticed that they were only a few blocks away from the car park of the track, so she turned her phone away toward her shoulder as she directed a question to Mila, “Could I jump out and meet up with Arthur before the race? I promise I’ll be careful, and I’ll be in the box before it starts.” Mila turned to discuss it with one of the guards who was entirely against it. “Please, I won’t leave Arthur’s side, and you know he’s trustworthy.”

“I won’t let her out of my sight, Mila!” Arthur’s voice could be heard through the phone despite it not being on speaker. She gestured to the phone at her shoulder as Mila tried to reason with the guard.

“I’ll go with you,” Mila said as she started collecting their passes and jumping out of the car that was stopped in the traffic going into the parking lot. Y/n immediately climbed out of the back, pulling her phone back up to her ear.

“Alright, Arthur, where do you want us to meet you?”

~~

First POV

“You seem to have gotten shorter since Melbourne,” I laughed as I ran into Arthur’s arms from where he was waiting at the Dams garage. 

“You’re wearing heels,” he pointed out after we pulled away. “What are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?”

“You say that like you don’t like me in heels,” I teased back.

“Ok, lovebirds,” Mila pulled our attention away from each other, “I am going to head up to our seats. Don’t tell anyone I left.”

“Your secret’s safe with me. Thank you, Mila,” I responded as she started walking away.

“You have seats?” Arthur asked.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to rely on you for the passes for Mila, so she bought us hospitality seats,” I explain. It wasn’t the whole truth, but I could not just tell him that in the open. “Is it possible to talk somewhere away from the cameras?”

“You’re not breaking up with me, right?” He immediately jumped to conclusions.

“No, no, no, no,” I quickly shut down. “Je t’aime trop pour partir, mon amour. I just want to tell you something. (I love you too much to leave, my love)”

“Je t’aime, ma belle, (I love you, my beauty)” He whispered, pulling me in for a light kiss before leading me back towards the driver’s room he shares with Ayumu. “Make yourself comfortable.”

I took a seat on one of the beanbags as Arthur sat right next to me. I took a deep breath before deciding the best way to tell him was just to say it fast. “Arthur, I need to tell you about my family.”

“Are you trying to have me meet your family already? You could meet my brothers and maman today if you want,” He rambled.

“I can meet them, but you won’t be able to meet my family. That day you left for Australia was the day I found out they passed away.” I paused looking at his reactions. He looked sorrowful as he grasped my hands and ran his thumbs across the backs of my hands. “Maman had an illness, and papa went to get my brother from the base.”

“Your brother’s in the military?” He asked.

“Was,” I answered. He looked even more confused at that before I continued. “He was serving in the military as his last stage of training. Kind of like my trainings, he had to serve in the military.”

“What kind of training did you need to do? Was this part of your degree or something?”

“No, that’s the big secret I haven’t been able to tell you,” I whispered, putting my head down as I felt guilty for not explaining this sooner.

“Anything you have to say, I will accept you either way,” He reassured me as he pulled me into his chest and kissed my head. “I understand that you have your reasons for hiding some things, so whatever this is, it is not going to stop me from loving you.”

“What if it is complex with more spotlight than you already have?” I asked, throwing my head to rest on his shoulder and looking into his blue eyes. “What if it’s a big change?”

“When we go public, it will be a big change, but I’m willing to do anything for you, ma princesse.”

“Reine, (Queen)” I whispered.

“Quoi? (What)” He responded just as fast.

“What if I told you my parents were the king and queen of Monaco? And my older brother was the prince of Monaco? And now that they’re gone, I will be the queen of Monaco? What would you do?” 

He went silent for a few seconds before whispering, “Are you serious?” My silence was enough of an answer for him to jump up, pulling me with him as he starts laughing and spinning us in circles. He set me down after a couple of spins before holding me at arm's length,  “I would completely understand. I mean you probably didn’t plan on taking the throne because of your brother, and you’d just come back from studying. I only tell people who need to know, and when we met, I wasn’t someone who needed to know. We haven't talked since you found out, so I could never be upset with something like that.”

“But now, if we tell people, you will be heavily scrutinized as people will see you as a potential king,” I signed, happy to know he isn’t upset with me, but still wanting him to see all sides before completely agreeing to move forward. “You’d have more on your list.”

“The only question I would have is if it would interfere with racing,” He turned serious.

“I would never let them keep you from your passions,” I laughed. “They have to respect it by order of the queen.”

“Well, then I would see no issues against continuing to be by your side, ma reine,” he chuckled with a mocking bow.

“Merci mon beau prince, (Thank you my handsome prince)” I mocked back, “now by order of the queen, go win this race.”

~~

“And Arthur Leclerc passes Fredrik Vesti in the final turn of the race,” Crofty shouted over the radio during the final lap of the race. I was up in the hospitality seats with Mila and the guards but headed down to the pitlane a couple of laps before since I was going to be presenting the trophies. I was standing at the pit wall with Charles, Lorenzo, and Pascale, who I met (again) just before the race. “The Monaco Curse is broken for Arthur Leclerc as he wins his first Monaco Grand Prix!”

 I left the pit wall to meet everyone at the podium and stopped to meet up with Mila on my way over. She and the guards escorted me through the crowds. “I’ll tell you now, one of you will need to tell Arthur not to out our relationship when I give him his trophy.”

At the podium, I stood behind the steps as Alice announces the winners. “In third place, we have Théo Pourchaire! In second place, we have Frederik Vesti! And in first place, breaking the Monaco Curse, the home favorite, Arthur Leclerc! Presenting the trophies today is the future Queen of Monaco, Y/n.”

“I’m proud of you,” I said to Arthur as I handed him the trophy.

“Merci, now if only Charles could win,” He joked, taking the trophy and posing with it.

“I’ll tell him you’re talking crap about him,” I teased back, moving away to grab the next trophy for Dams. I handed them all out and expressed my congratulations to the other two drivers before posing for the picture and immediately ducking back as I knew Arthur would try to spray me. I walked down the stairs to meet up with Charles before he heads back to Ferrari for his own race. “Arthur’s talking shit about you. You better win.”

“I’m starting sixth, so we have hope,” Charles responded as he rolled his eyes.

“Just don’t box for hards at the last lap again and you’ll be fine,” I laughed as if it were really that simple. 

“Maybe I broke the curse for both of us or maybe I just had some good luck today,” Arthur said, coming up behind us and throwing his arm around my shoulders.

“Oh yeah, what good luck did you have?” Charles teased, punching Arthur into me.

“Maybe just the future queen of Monaco.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2023. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[gosmigenergy]

KINKTOBER 2023 / Day Twelve

( Will ‘Ironhead’ Miller x F!Reader )

ORGASM DENIAL/CONTROL / LINGERIE / ROLE REVERSAL

Summary: After his kindness the other week, you think Will deserves a little treat.

Day twelve of @absurdthirst's Kinktober prompts list.

Rating: Mature 18+

Warnings: Mentions trying on clothes, P in V, unprotected sex (use protection irl please), no use of Y/N

Word Count: 2.4k

You were never one for shopping, everything was easier online.

A Saturday spent going shop to shop, fighting against the flocks of people doing the same with sounded like a weekend you’d rather forget, yet here you were. Your friend had dragged you out, mostly because she wanted to see you, secretly to get the gossip on what was happening with you and those guys from fight night.

Your lips were mostly sealed and what you did give her wasn’t nearly as juicy enough.

She was carrying a few bags whilst you were leaving empty handed, everything you tried on either felt weird or looked weird or both. This is why you preferred trying stuff on at home, without the unflattering mirrors, poorly lit changing rooms or the shop assistant knocking on the door to see if you were alright.

Until you caught something out of the corner of your eye.

She carried on ahead of you, only realising you’d ground to a halt when you didn’t reply.

“I haven’t seen you look at something like that since Santiago.”

“Huh?”

She chortled, “You look so cute when you’re confused.”

Standing next to each other, you gazed at the mannequin in the shop window. You never remembered a lingerie shop being here before though it gave that vibe of not just selling ridiculously pretty under garments.

“Why don’t you try it on?”

“I’ll just get it on—“

“This is not the kind of thing you order online,” she folded her arms, “trust me.”

You bring your attention back, biting the inside of your lip.

She sighed and grabbed your hand with a python like grip.

“Come one,” she hauled you towards the doors.

“Nooooo.”

You immediately gravitated towards the set you admired in the window, fingers flicking to find your size and just as you gave up hope, a shop assistant approached. She was mostly harmless and actually good at her job. When she asked what size you were looking for, you blanked, and she smiled and said she’d measure you up. Now you found yourself stood in a velvet walled changing room with matching furniture, twiddling your thumbs, waiting for her to come back with your size.

The knock made you flinched.

Opening the door, she slipped in and handed you the pieces.

“I didn’t know which bottom you’d like so I brought all three.”

“There’s three different types?”

She hummed, “You’ve got my personal favourite, the high waisted knicker. The thong which you know, always sells well and the crotchless. You wanted the garter too, right?”

You could only nod, the last option had thrown you.

Crotchless?

“Let me know when you’re ready and I’ll fix the bra straps.”

“Ok,” you say softly.

You could hear the conversation outside, your friend and the shop assistant making small talk at first - how was your day, where have you been, the usual until they started talking about you.

‘She’s not much of a shopper.’

‘Who is these days,’ the shop assistant says. ‘I much prefer online but this kind of stuff is risky, if you don’t know your size, it’s a lot of back and forth.’

‘That’s why I dragged her in here.’

‘I hope she likes it, that set will really accentuate her figure, it’ll look great on her.’

‘There’s definitely a few guys who’d love to see her in it.’

You wobble, bumping the door as you try to get a leg through the hole, too busy listening in on what they were saying.

“You ok?” Your friend queries.

“I’m fine, almost there.”

Closing your eyes, you take a few breaths before spinning on your heels, opening one eye. The image reflected had you instantly opening the other and your heart skips. You looked good, real fucking good. You exhale, pushing yourself up on the balls of your feet, imagining how you’d stand in heels. Clinging onto the plush walls, you turn to view the back and are equally as pleased.

All the boys would love this but you had one in mind.

—

You told Will you were going to freshen up about twenty minutes ago and you were surprised he hadn’t come to check on you.

The first five minutes was you, staring at the clean lines of the bag, a neat little bow sealing it shut. The next five was you gazing upon the set laid upon the black tissue it was once wrapped in, the emerald green colour rich. You spent the other ten minutes getting the damn thing on with delicate fingers, afraid that any brisk movement would ripped the mesh. When it was all on, you went to the mirror and adjusted your boobs just like the assistant showed you, it was the correct way apparently.

Back on the bed, you slipped on the stockings and hooked them into the garter before slipping on the pair of heels you hid in your weekend bag.

The nerves were starting to get to you, you wobble on your heels as you head to the mirror again. 

You didn’t get why you were so nervous, this was Will for fuck’s sake. You’re sure if you approached any of the boys in this lingerie, they’d fall to their hands and knees and worship you at your feet. Maybe that’s what it was, new territory, you were used to being the centre of attention but now, you were stepping into the spotlight.

You took a deep breath before checking yourself over one last time.

Heading to the door, you grabbed his robe from the hook and wrapped it around your frame. You step carefully, his robe gathered around your ankles as you go to find him.

He’s busying himself in the kitchen, back towards you.

You knew you could do this.

Treading carefully, you tiptoe to stop the clicking of your heel and hover behind him. You stretch your arms up, rubbing your hands before covering his eyes.

He drops the soapy dish in his hand.

“What have I told you about approaching us from behind?”

Not to do it, which hardly seemed fair because they did it all the time.

“I know, it’s jus—“

His other hand had snuck to your ass and he squeezed, a twitch in his brow as he felt the soft, thick fabric of his dressing gown.

“Keep your eyes closed.”

He gifts you another three squeezes.

You guide him away from the countertop and turned him round, still covering his eyes with your palms.

“Are they definitely closed?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

You part one set of fingers to make sure, he was never one for lying. Bringing your hands back, you read his features like always he was pokerface except for the slight curl in his lips, you’d peeked his interest.

Grabbing the tea towel, you dry his hand before taking them in his. Yours were always so velvety in comparison to his even after soaking in the water for as long as they had, he knew they were rough.

Leading the way, you tug lightly and walk him out the kitchen.

You thought you had planned this but as you turn your head, looking at the living room, you realise this isn’t going to work. You needed to sit him somewhere where he could see you in full view and where you could stand so he would see you from head to toe. It’s as if he heard your mind working.

“What are you thinking?”

“I want to sit you down but I need the space.”

“Bedroom?”

“Hmm, I wanted somewhere different.”

“How about the office?”

“You have an office?”

“Kind of,” he shrugs, “it’s where I keep all my books, there’s a nice leather chair if that’s what you’re after.”

You make a move.

You’re met with a small room, the walls ladened with books and military paraphernalia, photos that you can’t wait to have a proper look at. You escort him to the leather chair and he makes himself comfortable as you go to close the door.

He can hear the clicks on the wooden floor, feel the nervous energy.

“You ok?”

You hum.

“Can I open my eyes yet?”

“Yeah,” you say in a sigh.

There you were stood in his robe though his eyes did fall on your shoes. He leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees, hands hanging loosely together.

“Now you’re just teasing.”

Your head drops as you giggle, cheeks blushing. You bring your head back up and scoop your hair out of the back, shaking it out of your face.

“I know I am but,” you begin to undo the tie. “I wanted to see your face when I did this.”

Shrugging off his robe, it pools at the bottom of your feet.

You hear his breath as his eyes roam across every part of your body, those piercing blues bringing goosebumps to your skin. His tongue whips over his lips as one of his hands reaches for the back of his neck, he tips his head to one side. Leaning back, he takes another peek, forehead creasing as his eyebrows raised. 

“Fuck.”

His smile buried into his cheeks. He threw his hand to you after he rubbed his neck.

“Is this just for me?”

You bit your lip, “Yeah.”

His reaction was better than you could ever have hoped for.

The goosebumps had dispersed and left a prickly feeling that warmed your skin, the knot you felt in your belly releasing, your arousal burning in your loins.

He beckoned for you to come.

You walk with purpose, exaggerating your hips, stopping when your pointed toes scuff the chair. 

Rocking forward, Will smoothes his palms over your legs and up your ass, sweeping over your hips and waist. He extends his thumbs, brushing over your breasts, nipples growing under their mesh containment. Moving to your back, he edges you closer.

His breath teases your skin, whiskers tickling as he kisses along the band of your knickers.

You sigh, your nails scratching his scalp as the kisses intensified.

The strain in his pants was becoming unbearable, his cock stiffening underneath. With one hand, he undoes his buckle and pops the top button, pulling the zip to alleviate himself. He does nothing else, desperate to touch your skin.

He flattens his tongue and licks from one side of your body to the other.

Your juices dribble, dressing your folds.

When he offers you some relief, you climb onto his lap, knees pressed to his hips. You settle so you’re face to face and bring your lips to his, two swift kisses before you push on his mouth, drawing the air from his lungs. You catch his moan in your mouth as you slip your tongue in and dance with his.

His teeth sink into your bottom lip as he pulls back.

Cupping his hands over your breast, he thumbs at your nipple until it grows puffy. Freeing it from the delicate fabric, he takes it his mouth and suckles, tongue swiping up and down.

Your head falls back as a cry rises from your chest.

He releases it from his mouth with a pop before doing the same with the other. His fingers run in the middle of your breasts and down your stomach, over your knickers. Sliding over your mound, he expected to be greeted with more material containing you. He chuckles when your juices coat his digits.

Peeling himself away from you, he lifts his hips and yanks his pants and boxer enough to release his heavy cock.

Licking your fingertips, you catch his precum and spread it over his tip, a shiver jolting up his spine as he reclines. You line yourself up and drop your hips, taking him in your opening. Your walls pulse around his bright tip before you sink further into his lap. He gives a satisfied sigh as you take him to the hilt.

You roll your hips in the figure of eight.

“That’s it,” you coo as his head rests to the cushion.

Placing a hand on his chest and the other on his thigh, you lift yourself up before coming back down with a gasp. You revel in his every grunt, every moan as you steadily ride his cock, the wet smack as you bounce from bare skin.

You rode until your legs began to protest.

After another stroke, you collapsed onto his chest, your hand releasing his top.

He’s still inside you, cock twitching as your walls constricted around him. His movements were sluggish but he manages to bring a hand to your back. He strokes you up and down, allowing you to breath.

“Shall I help us finish?”

He looks at you, smiling softly.

You nod in agreement, sweat clinging to your hairline.

Placing his hand under your ass, you lean forward and let him lift your hips up and down. You whimper as your arms wrap tightly around his neck, your chin resting on top of his head.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, we’ll both be cumming soon.”

With the new angle, his cock nudges that sweet spot over and over and though he promises you’ll finish soon, you don’t know how much more you can take. His breath is hot against your shoulder, lips showering it with kisses. The blood pumping through your veins fast and loud, you can only just hear him whispering praises in your ear.

Then he holds you steady, tip still radiating in your walls.

You know what’s coming, your fingers bury into his shirt and your eyes snap shut.

He thrusts, shoving his cock into you sharply.

You both moan in unison before he slips out before continuing back and forth at a relentless pace. 

Even with your eyes closed, your seeing stars, that burn in your belly heightening as you let out a strangled cry. Your legs are vibrating as he pushes you to the edge and helps carry you through your orgasm. His cock is trapped in your pulsating walls and with a couple more strokes, he coated them.

Your body slack above him and he drops his hip for you to lay.

There’s shockwaves as you try to settle, his strokes on your legs not helping. You feel his heartbeat slow against your chest, his breaths less staggered as you bring your attention back to the room.

There’s a moment of blissful silence before Will speaks.

“Please tell me you’ve got more lingerie.”

[lordeemailarchive]

how I’ve been, revised

(20/09/2023) (Solar Institute Bulletin No. 22) (From London)

Aftershow quiet in Helsinki

Hey,

I just finished writing you a long letter, catching you up on how I’ve been. It ended neatly, tied with a little bow. I chose my words well, but I didn’t tell the truth. So I’m starting again, gonna type and not look back, and send what comes out.

I’m in London, have been since May. Things feel clear here. I haven’t seen many friends; mostly, I’m alone with my thoughts. I go swimming, I go to work, I walk home or take the train, I eat in my kitchen, I go to bed thinking about what I’m making. I’m starting to miss my friends and family, like a vitamin I’m deficient in. Soon I’ll be going back to New York, and then home.

I’m living with heartbreak again. It’s different but the same. I ache all the time, I forget why and then remember. I’m not trying to hide from the pain, I understand now that pain isn’t something to hide from, that there’s actually great beauty in moving with it. But sometimes I’m sick of being with myself. I eat chocolate to try and manipulate the endorphins, bring back the sweet happiness of Easter morning. I sit in the time machine and wait for it to move, but it hasn’t been invented yet.

My body is really inflamed, it’s trying to tell me something and I’m trying to support it but nothing seems to help and I get frustrated. My gut isn’t working properly, my skin is worse than ever, I’ve gotten sick half a dozen times. I realised earlier this year that listening to my body is hard for me, it’s something I never really learned how to do. I’ve been trying to teach myself that this year, but it’s been hard actually, pretty confronting, has made me fully aware of all the times I ignored it or didn’t give it what it needed, shamed it for a fight or flight response, took a handful of pills and pushed through. The little yellow pill I took every morning for thousands of mornings since I was 15, I stopped taking it 5 days ago. Gonna see how it goes.

I go online and look at everyone. Beautiful people sing to me. Everyone’s gotten really good at the same thing. I look at arched backs and wet flower mouths, the right bag, the right sunglasses. I wonder if it feels as good as it looks, it’s been so long since I chose the best picture from a hundred, lined it up like pulling an arrow taut in a bow, and let it go. Everyone looks very thin. Just thinking that makes me feel tired and far away. I’m not sure if it’s having an effect on anyone else. I keep spending money, wondering if what’s in the package will make me feel right, but I guess I buy the wrong things. I was gonna go to fashion week in Paris, had all these grand plans, but this week I txted my manager and pulled out. At the start of my career I promised myself I’d never be one of the people in the light smiling if it wasn’t real.

Earlier this year, I ate two handfuls of mushrooms, solid doses that tasted like green dirt. I got a lot of information about what my body had been through in our time so far, what it needed, where God was and where God wasn’t; I felt in my bones how destabilising it is to leave home and start a new life the way I did. I also saw that my body is completely magnificent, and that hating it is as futile as hating a tree; that I truly, truly love doing my job, and that my life is like a beautiful tapestry, and every inch of it is precious and has meaning.

It might seem funny or be easy to forget, but I make records because I need to. The songs are spells; a spell to let go of something, a spell to unlock a door. Every time I put something into words just as I see it, set it to the right music, a knot comes loose in me. But it hurts too, confronting the knots. I’ve made enough records to know that this feeling of my skin coming off is part of it. I know I’m gonna look back on this year with fondness and a bit of awe, knowing it was the year that locked everything into place, the year that transitioned me from my childhood working decade to the one that comes next — one that even through all this, I’m so excited for. It’s just hard when you’re in it.

So in this state, I went out on a short European festival tour. We built a cool new version of the show in a couple days. It was good to change gears and get out of my head. I put effort into the show, changing the setlist and arrangements, it was cool how you picked up on that, and it felt good dancing to the new versions with you, looking out at you, all sweaty with your friends, all on the same drugs. I felt the throb of history that’s under this music now, how each year makes these songs feel more like collectively written and sung pieces. I left my body and merged with yours and it was ecstasy. Then I went home to a business hotel and washed the glitter and smoke out of my hair.

Lauren took some beautiful pictures — sharing a few with you here.

Backstage in Portugal.

Cute Polaroid series of the 6pm, 8pm, and 10pm versions of me on a show day.

I’ve read some great books recently, including Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk, Speedboat by Renata Adler, Motherhood by Sheila Heti, Rough Translations by Molly Giles (brought into my life by sweet angel bookworm Chris Chang), Birds of America by Lorrie Moore; am waiting on my copies of ĀRIA by Jessica Hinerangi and Te Ana Ata: Menstruation In The Pre-Colonial Maori World by Ngāhuia Murphy. Was given Wawata - Moon Dreaming by Dr. Hinemoa Elder which I’m loving looking to as the Maramataka evolves.

It was Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori last week, I loved listening to this from London. This vid from Hemi showing the similarities between te reo Māori and ʻōlelo Hawaiʻi is so sick.

Been meaning to tell you about The Kindness Institute too, a mental health resource for Māori rangatahi that has recently lost government funding. Go check out the beautiful, necessary mahi they’re doing — I know the cost of living is cooked for Kiwis right now and pop stars asking people to donate sux, but if you work at a good sized company maybe you can wrangle a donation from your employers?! I’m gonna email my record company about it.

Other bits that have inspired lately:

Dieter Rams’ principle of “as little design as possible”. This fantastic interview with Thom Yorke. Maddie’s unbelievably beautiful Melo inspired tattoo.

Loving the beautiful new Troye songs and vids, Kelela’s Raven hitting right on the e-bike rides home, late to the magic of Frou Frou but glad I’m here, and the rest of my brain is M.T. Hadley, this great Te Whanganui-a-Tara based band Womb, and Talk Talk. And for those it concerns, have been pilled by parasocial big cousins Jason and Chris. My mum just sent me a Sylvia Plath poem that feels like it sums up the above, I’ll copy it here:

They thought death was worth it, but I Have a self to recover, a queen. Is she dead, is she sleeping? Where has she been, With her lion-red body, her wings of glass?

Now she is flying More terrible than she ever was, red Scar in the sky, red comet Over the engine that killed her— The mausoleum, the wax house.

Sylvia Plath, "Stings"

Hope you’re taking care of yourself. Don’t worry about me, I still laugh every day, it’s all moving, even when it goes slow. I’ve accepted the mission — I have a self to recover.

Speak soon, E X X X X X

(source: received this email)

[thechanelmuse]

How genealogy is used to track Black family histories

Our names are important to us. They tell us who we are and often, who we come from. So imagine suddenly discovering the last name you’ve always carried… might not actually be the name you should have. 

Alex Neason began looking into her family’s history after discovering her great grandfather’s name was different from what she believed for her whole life. In her search to discover the story of that last name, she enlisted genealogist Nicka Sewell-Smith.

For Black Americans, genealogy can fill in the blanks left by the legacy of slavery and racism in the U.S. Services like the Freedmen’s Bureau and Slave Voyages provide free access to records and documents to help with that search. We talk about the power of genealogy in fostering knowledge and connection for Black Americans.

Source

If you click on the word “source,” it’ll take you to the article where you’ll see a LISTEN button. It’s a 30-minute audio that discusses the info provided in the article even further. Y’all know I’m big on getting people to trace their lineage. All that “we don’t know where we come from.” Who told you that? Everything in the US is in plain sight. Everything.

Discover your fam. 

I assist others when they reach a roadblock, like getting past the “1870 wall.” But you can’t beat the feeling of you discovering them on your own. Unearthing your history, seeing photos, reading stories that were stored, and saying their names that haven’t been said for centuries. I’ve been tracing mine (scanning, logging) since my family reunion in 2005 through oral family history and obituaries (those are records), and since 2011 through databases of US archived records like ancestry.com (purchased by BlackStone) and familysearch.org (free database owned by the Latter-day Saints Church). There are others, but those are the main two I use for comparative results.  

Archiving Centers, Census Records & Other Records

There are archiving centers in every state and DC that also keep records for those particular states and the federal capital. There’s a footnote on all records that tells you where they are housed. And please...Don’t just do a simple pedigree chart of your family tree. Get to know your great-aunts, great-uncles and cousins. It’s also helpful for seeing who lived around who (fam often lived next door to each other) and puts more of the pieces together of your complete family story. You can see the land and acres they owned or your fam today still owns, as well as if that land was stolen from them.

US census records go back to year 1790. Depending on when or if your ancestors were enslaved or free: you’ll find them attached to slave logs that have been made available online or kept in archiving centers (you go there), or or they’ll be listed on census records as free persons (1790-1710), free colored male/female (1820-1840), Black (1850-1920), Mulatto (1850-1890, 1910-1920) or Negro (1900, 1930-1950). “New” census documents are put on sites, like ancestry.com, every 10 years. As of 2023, you can only trace from 1950 to 1790. The 1960 census will be out in 2030. How to trace from 1950 to today, birth, death and residential records. So again, depending on the census year, you’ll notice your ancestors racial classification change throughout documents for obvious reasons. 

Keep in mind that the the largest slave trade for the United States was the domestic slave trade. In house human trafficking and selling (in addition to property insurance of enslaved people and the selling of enslaved people as the building block of Wall Street’s stock exchange) is how US capitalism was built. So just because you know a lot of your people are from Tennessee, for example, it doesn't mean that’s where that line stayed. I’ve found my ancestors throughout 7 states (so far). Another example, people with Louisiana roots damn near always have ancestors who were trafficked from early Virginia. Going beyond year 1790, records were kept in Christian and Catholic churches and old family history books so most of those documents are scanned online and/or still kept in the churches. I’m talking books books. 

If your ancestors walked the Trail of Tears, or were caught as prisoners of war or trafficked to Indian Nations to be enslaved, you’ll find an Oklahoma Indian Territory and Oklahoma Freedmen Rolls section on ancestry.com. You can discover more info on sites, like the Oklahoma Historical Society. (Every state has its own historical society for archived genealogical records.) 

Here’s the National Archives.

Also for Oklahoma, you may also find your ancestors in Indian Census Rolls (1855-1940) as [insert tribe] Freedmen, depending if they weren’t rejected through the “blood quantum” Dawes Rolls for not being the new light to white status. You’ll see their application and the listed questions & answers with or without a big void stamp. And on the census, you’ll even see the letter I (pronounced like eye) changed to the letter B. This is also for those in Louisiana.

Freedmen’s Bureau & Bank Records 

There were Freedmen’s Bureau records and Freedman’s Savings Bank records in other states. To see if your ancestors had their records in those systems, you can search by their name. The state and age will pop up with people having that name. It’ll give you a wealth of other info, like all of the kids and other fam if they were present or mentioned to the person who logged that info in. With the Freedmen Bank records, you can see how much money your ancestors put in there (that was later stolen from them by way of the United States government), which is still there today. It’s the biggest bank heist in US history (that they try to keep hush hush) with the equivalence of more than $80 million in today’s value stored in there today. Back then, it was valued almost close to $4 million. Stolen wealth met with bootstrap lectures. 

Here’s a short video on that heist:

Today the bank is called the Freedman's Bank Building, located right on Pennsylvania Ave. Plain sight. 

Trace your lineage. 

There’s a lot more that I can list. But this is just the basics. Like I said before, it’s a more rewarding feeling when you discover your ancestors by yourself. You may reach roadblocks. Take a break. Try going the “Card Catalog” route on ancestry.com’s search engine. Don’t skip the small details. 

SN: Slave Voyages isn’t a genealogical site, but rather a database for slave ship logs and the estimates of purchased Africans who became human cargo to be enslaved by country like USA, or by colonizers like Spain, Great Britain, etc.

[g5mlp]

Is there any info on G5’s performance financially? People have been saying it’s been doing poorly since 2021, but there hasn’t really been much evidence. There have been pictures and talk of stores getting rid of it through clearance sales and such, but I find that’s more regional thing; all of stores near me not only still carry MLP, but it rarely goes on clearance, too. To add onto the confusion, Hasbro themselves seems/claims to be confident and investing more money into G5. At the same time, they haven’t mentioned it in an quarterIy report since 2021. I don’t know what think. How do you personally think G5 is doing?

Hasbro has much bigger fish to fry, and they have been cutting costs for basically everything that they can. Wizards of the Coast is now the only part of Hasbro that isn't losing money and Hasbro still laid off lots of that division's staff in December 2023.

Because Hasbro is doing inventory reductions across all their franchises, and because a lot of people have switched to online shopping over the past decade, it's difficult to use anecdotal observations to judge MLP's success. There does seem to be a broad sentiment among MLP toy collectors that the franchise hasn't been doing as well.

The reason that MLP isn't mentioned in Hasbro's investor reports any more is primarily that in 2022 they changed their definition of "franchise brands" and started calling MLP a "portfolio brand" instead, reflecting that it was no longer one of Hasbro's seven biggest brands, but there could be any number of explanations for how that happened.

MLP's no longer been Hasbro's biggest "girl brand" since they got Peppa Pig in 2019.

MLP's growth was primarily because of Friendship Is Magic, and that growth mostly happened before 2015. (Hasbro avoids emphasizing revenue decreases, so that's probably why MLP's revenue wasn't mentioned as a dollar amount after 2015.)

The 2021 movie, My Little Pony: A New Generation, didn't have a properly measurable impact, because its originally-planned theatrical release was cancelled due to the pandemic.

Brian Goldner, who was Hasbro's CEO for about 13 years, died in 2021, and was replaced as CEO by Chris Cocks (yes, that's his real name). It's not clear if Cocks has made any good decisions yet.

It's obvious that both Hasbro and the MLP franchise have seen better days, at least financially, and Hasbro's level of investment into MLP has clearly been decreasing. However, the viral success of G4 isn't something that could be easily replicated, and G4 itself wasn't able to sustain its own viral or financial success. It would probably be fairer to compare G5 to other TV shows/toy lines based on standalone movies than to compare it to G4.

[toadallytickles]

NEST 2023

NEST 2023 was absolutely amazing for me! Originally I thought I couldn’t go because Clay couldn’t and he’s usually my ride! I ended up being able to go because our friend Timmi @DynamicUno was attending too! So I got a ride with him, redeemed my free NEST ticket, and signed up to volunteer as a DM to share a volunteer suite!

I was really anxious about not attending with Clay this year; NEST is the largest tickle gathering and I don’t do well approaching people. I’ve been attending NEST and other tickle gatherings since 2019, though I haven’t felt really established in those in-person communities. Clay is usually my safety-net person. I surprisingly ended up doing extremely well, talking to a whole bunch of new and familiar people, and deepening connections I’ve made in the past! I somehow had like 8 sessions.. that is not like of me; one was pick-up with someone I just met at NEST, another I’ve seen a little at gatherings earlier this year. The rest were people I’ve known from previous gatherings for some years, and play just aligned at NEST this time!

I also had to make a boundary leading up to NEST that Clay couldn’t tickle me as I wanted to be ripe and ready for planned sessions! Sucked, but also fun as I easily get ghost-tickled when Clay wiggles his fingers at me, but whatever honestly~ (〃^▽^〃)ゞ

We’ve always arrived at NEST on Friday, mostly a chill day with orientation. It was a luxury to drive down on Thursday, and have all day Friday to catch up and hangout with people! The border security guy was super nice to us, he said he likes to have his back tickled, but that’s it lmao~. I went into my first Dunkin’ Donuts too (didn’t order anything) and they have Timbit-like treats called Munchkins.. also the Tim Hortons’ as you go south are so different from Canada’s, it’s so weird.. alternate universe Tim’s…

Friday morning I get to go on a Target run with Nate @Sensualswitch10 as I wanted to pick up snacks for the weekend! Then we get McDonald’s for breakfast! We had a bit of a secret project going on in his room too~. 🤫 I really appreciated hanging out with Nate casually as for play and making connections I really need time to physically acclimate, and he understood I needed that and made himself a safe space while I didn’t have Clay. I was supposed to reserve my ticklishness for a session, but we ended up casually playing on his bed, just a tickle massage that turned to pinning~!

I finally get to play with Sam @WickedSensations & Frecks @Fiona_Red (@WickedCaress on Instagram)! I knew of their content before NEST ‘22, and when we finally met last year, we had an instant mutual connection and attraction! NEST ‘22 didn’t work out for us play-wise, though we stayed in-touch online and negotiated play for NEST ‘23! It finally happened and it was super fun and flustering! To be gang tickled by a couple~ (≧ω≦ ʃƪ)💕. Thank you for the pretty bruises, Sam! And thank you Frecks for being my first wlw tickle session!

I FINALLY got tickled by Jeff @sptfrtkl in his Blue Brat! We’d see each other at past gatherings and chat, and have been fans of each other's content; this time playing aligned! Such an honour to finally play with him + sign the Blue Brat afterwards! Jeff has an insane amount of tools to use too, hopefully next time we’ll session longer and experiment with every tool~ 😊

I generally do not pick-up play, and consider NSFW acts intimate and something I would reserve for closer relationships, though I met @Mark_Diamond while at NEST, and when he was showing me his many pleasure tools, we discovered we both love David Mack’s style of play.. like clit-focused, edging, denial, and forced orgasms.. I couldn’t pass on the opportunity of reliving my biggest fantasy so I let him tie me spread eagle, naked, and torture me~ 🥰🤤. It was dreamy and felt amazing aah~ wish I could always have a session like that~ (〃˘▽˘ʃƪ) *:・ﾟ✧♡.

So I Ler’d for my first CNC session..~ thanks to Steve @DaddyMilkBoss, who’s been teaching me for years all about his favourite way to play~. He had no safeword.. or maybe I ignored their safeword, who knows~. But it was so so much fun, loved how much he begged for me to stop, and how desperate he got.. and I just continued to play with him… 😍🤤. It was too much fun really.. I shouldn’t have that much power lol, already craving to do that to him again~. Yeah I love being a bully~ 🖤. All those years of taunting me and talking to me all about CNC.. it’s like I was trained to ruin him~ 🤭.

During my session with Steve where I lee’d, I learned that I can make eye contact if my mouth is duct-taped shut~. Usually when I lee, I like to wear a blindfold because seeing the Ler/s makes me so shy and stiff, and that hinders my ticklishness. Our session, I had multiple duct-tape strips over my mouth without a blindfold on and I was very surprised at how comfortable I was making eye contact with him.. it was really hot.. I love the idea of talking with big, pleading eyes~ I also have very pretty eyes~

If you’re on Fetlife, Twitter or in certain Discord Servers, you may have seen Liger @LewdLigu’s feather wheel + stocks… I also don’t usually public play, though he was doing mini trials in the public play area.. and perhaps I was a bit intrigued..~ 👉👈. It’s a super cool invention, and I had a lot of fun giving it a try, bEing wATCHED-! and having those claws and feather vibrators on me .. 😵‍💫.

My last session at NEST was with Nate, this time I was stretched out bound in his under-the-mattress stocks, and arms up at the corners of the bed… I also got high for this session~. 🥴 I just want to say.. Nate knows what he’s doing.. like when you think of the definition of a Ler, or what to expect during a session, Nate is that, Nate knows how to session omg, he’s so good at tickling~. (No he did not make me say this LOL that’s just all I can say and it’s true.) So much fun to hang out with and play with! I miss him!! Nate, thank you for taking care of me throughout NEST!! I already said it but it was so much appreciated when I didn’t have Clay!! 🥹💕

Despite like 8 sessions and depleting my ticklishness, I was super excited to go home to Clay and have a session with him. He knows all my spots and exactly how to wreck me, and I was craving that~ 😆. It was wonderful to reconnect and take all the energy from NEST and share it with him!

AND I TRIED CHIPOTLE FOR THE FIRST TIME IT WAS SOOO GOOOOOD!! 😫💦

Super cool that I got to meet some Tumblr people too! @ticklishadventure @queerswitch-tickles @ticklishposts-sideblog @minotaurvo !! So happy you all got to attend NEST for the very first time! That’s a huge step and I hope you all had a great time!! ❤️

I was fortunate to film a bunch of content too with all the new people I played with!! So!! Gifsets and maybe clips soon! 🤩

I got asked a lot how long I’ve been modelling lol.. and I don’t get that question really!! It was really flattering, though it is super amateur modelling / a hobby to me!!

Crossing the border on the way home, again we share with the border guard that we went to a tickle convention, and the guard wanted to know what happens at a tickle convention.. so I had to be the one to explain what happens as Timmi was looking for a document on his phone…. UUGHH!! 💀🪦

Anyway to wrap this up, this was personally the best NEST for me~. I’ve been navigating my local kink community without Clay a lot as he works, such as going to munches and parties alone, attending kink classes, and hanging out with new friends! I was really nervous to be attending NEST without Clay, though I feel I was capable to navigate NEST with what I’ve learned from our local community. I remember being really anxious Thursday and early Friday, though everything was going really well, I had good interactions, great sessions, and met a lot of new people, and that just made me more confident in myself! I did a lot of new things I didn’t think I was capable of or ready for yet, though I did it, and survived, and very much enjoyed. I can pick-up play with the right people, I can accept more intimate touching and play and not feel wrong after. Those compliments Clay and my local friends give me all the time, I can start to believe them. I was really reassured this weekend of who I am, what I’m capable of, and that my presence is wanted. I feel much more established in the in-person tickle community. There was so much growth and experience for me at NEST ‘23, and I am so looking forward to carrying it all into future kink events. ❤️

Thank you so much to everyone who makes NEST possible, and to those who volunteer their time to keep it organized and going!! And thank you so much to everyone who was involved in my experience this year!! It was awesome because of you!! ❤️

[lemonarcade]

to everyone:

we did it! we made it to the end of 2023 :) thank you for being part of this roller coaster of a year that went by faster than my brain could comprehend, whether you’ve known me for quite a while, or we’ve just started getting to know each other.

our world has changed and is still changing very much, and i wish only the best for every single one of you that sees this. please stay safe, take care, and here’s to 2024!

some personal messages under the cut!

💌: @by-moonflower

dearest kesya,

writing letters long asks back and forth has become one of my favourite pastimes.

i send you strength and resilience, hope and light. may you find the peace and comfort you deserve.

thank you for always indulging me in my ramblings; sharing our agony over inarizaki’s aggravating middle blocker, mr no.10 sunarin.

your works will forever hold a special place in my heart (i go back to them from time to time) and one day i might frame your beautiful prose and your use of language.

you’ve seen me through my many many reinventions of the (online) self, and each time you welcome me with open arms and a warm loaf of earl grey bread (don’t mind me, i’m just fondly thinking of the wonderful ask you once sent me). this humble one simply cannot express through words just how much this friendship means to me, but i hope that we can continue to watch each other grow and live through life, just as we do now.

sending my warmest wishes for your 2023 to end well, and for 2024 to welcome you just like i was.

tearfully,

caz

💌: @bflfism

yun!! the beefleaf mutual™ that wrote an amazing lqq fic that i was so intrigued by, despite not knowing much more about tgcf outside of the first season of the anime (i don’t think i’ve ever said this to you, so imagine me running to drop a comment as soon as i’ve posted this) i can’t believe i was lucky enough to have found you and stuck with you through your blog changes (as you did with me). what would life be like if i never met you- nevermind! i don’t want to even consider the possibility 😤

even if you don’t frequent tumblr as much anymore, i still enjoy the connection with have through the dash and asks! and :D i would like to say that you have my utmost support in your cosplaying journey ~ (please see my likes are like little thumbs up and encouraging smiles hehe)

💌: @minkibug

minki my beloved tuxedo cat mutual 😼 your silliness never fails to make me smile as i scroll through dash. you 🫵 will be the best dentist. i also wish that you’ll have an unlimited supply of matcha forever (only the best for my fellow matcha lover). it’s such a joy to see you on dash, whether that be study struggles (relatable) or new kpop fixation (good on you) or random tidbits, know that i look at your posts fondly.

💌: @harubirus

hihi fae! i hope you don’t mind the tag, but i wanted to use this opportunity to show my admiration and appreciation for you. your poetic and artistic reblogs never fail to open my eyes to the ways creativity can be expressed, and even more so from your own creations! although we haven’t truly interacted much, your presence on my dash is one i treasure and hope to continue seeing as the new year rolls by. wishing you all the best with life and hope it is treating you well 🧡

💌: @thelargefrye

🍟 my fry queen! i’m very happy we’ve managed to get to this point and remain mutuals (let’s not look at my multiple deletion and creation of blogs…)

smalls, i will always be a loyal fry of yours; even if our fandoms may have drifted apart, seeing your reblogs and posts on the dash reminds me of how i look up to you. your passion and support for ateez is still going strong to this day, and i really admire it as a fellow atiny.

may you enjoy the rest of 2023 and a good 2024 await you!

💌: @secnghwa

viviii it has been way too long since we’ve had a proper chat! whenever we do have a small one, i never seem to be able to ask how you’ve been doing, so here’s me hoping that 2023 has been good to you. ateez’s comeback brought us back together briefly and it was awesome :D the seongjoong unit song was FIRE 🔥 and your bias slayed every. single. rap. verse.

thank you for being part of my 2023 and i hope 2024 will kick off nicely for you!

💌: @barsformars

rinnie i was ecstatic to see your return! hope this year has been good for you, or else 2023 and i will need to have a talk *cracks knuckles*

i missed you a lot, and admittedly did go through your blog on more than one occasion… it was so delightful seeing you back on the dash :D i never did ask, but how did you find ateez’s comeback? they really outdid themselves in many ways, and this album showed quite a lot of the growth that they’ve done since their last full album.

you’ve always been and will always be a good friend of mine that i will think of, and i cherish the times in the past that we shared 🧡 do let me know if i can keep in touch on another platform!

2024 better watch it and be nice to rin 👊

💌: @yinyinggie

you are genuinely a fairy in disguise. let me squish your cheekies okay (please)

combining compliments from teyval and the christmas tree, i am here to present my end of year words of gratitude to the lovely fae.

yinggie, the moments i spend talking to you are never wasted, and most of the time i tuck some of the words into a pocket in my heart. you are like spring flowers blooming in the company of light breeze, and it would be my honour to be able to capture the essence of the gentleness you exude.

my liege, it is MY pleasure to know you and i hope to get to know you even better with this coming year, and perhaps many more to come (i reiterate my wish to someday meet in person)

i feel like you have inspired and helped me to work on myself in quite a few ways, whether it be directly or indirectly, so please have this token of gratitude 🌷

my parting words to you would be that my belief in you stands strong and you can do anything you put your mind to (taking wise words from someone i know)

hope you have a grand closing to end the year :D

💌: @dumbificat

dumbs! (please let me know if i can call you that) my dear darling, you are so so sweet and lovely, and i’m so glad i’ve gotten to know you this year. your willingness to help others and to put yourself out there deserves all the pats on the back and thumbs up (. you’re such a wonderful meowtual and i would definitely love to know you more in this upcoming year. thank you for being a constant witness to my valorant fails and wins. please do take care of yourself and i only wish the best for you 🧡 cheers to the new year!

💌: teyval

to my fellow server members, thank you for making this last half of 2023 such a blast! it's been amazing chatting with everyone and meeting so many lovely people in the span of these past few months, and i wouldn't have it any other way 🧡

to my jijis, your warm welcomes to us newbie mods really made my day. it's been incredible to work together to improve on teyval as a safe and positive space to everyone else, and the endearing ideas you guys have come up with to bring joy to the members is so heartwarming.

special mentions to mhie, zee, snob, ven, yukari, rosey, bell, nervo, meisha, star, henry, alu, cixi, mr cosmic (and ely) for being gold star souls that are part of the reason i continue to go on teyval regularly.

💌: @hereisleo

if leo ever sees this -> i got a kodak film camera!! i've brought it along with me on some trips and special occasions, and from the developed film it's quite clear i've got a lot to work on hehe

hope you've been healthy and well, and continue to be so as we step into a new year 🧡

[jennyboom21]

It was small, minor even. In all of the pageantry, hoopla, stunts and shows that come with the annual Met Gala — celebrities decked in haute couture, multiple costume changes, group chats and social media timelines rushing to outdo one another for jokes. But in the middle of all that, Queen Latifah walked the 2024 Met Gala Carpet with her longtime partner Eboni Nichols.

When I first saw it, well, I screamed a little. Ok, maybe I screamed more than a little. But you have to understand, it’s not that we haven’t seen Queen and Eboni walk a red carpet together before, they walked the Oscars carpet together in 2022 and more recently they walked a different red carpet together for an AmFAR benefit in 2023. She first publicly acknowledged Eboni, and their son Rebel, from a BET Awards stage by thanking them both as her “love” while accepting her Lifetime Achievement. But if you’re a queer person and especially a Black queer person, who has been a part of this community at any point in the last 30 years, I also know that you get it. This is the queen. After rooting for her journey for so long, after she was a queer awakening for so many of us across so many years, every forward step still feels lucky somehow for us to witness. Each one feels like a breath of fresh air.

I posted my all caps emotions to Twitter because for better or for worse, I am chronically online. I thought it would do maybe a few hundred likes. Some love from a few other fans. Again on some level I intellectually know… we have been here before. But somehow still, the Met felt different. Walking the world’s most famous carpet, with every camera trained on you and your partner in your matching black & white gowns felt different. Anyway, it ended up with over 45 thousand likes in a day. And that’s when I knew — I wasn’t alone.

To be very clear here, I do not believe that Queen Latifah owes us Dana Owens. In 2008, after being arguably the most famous woman rapper for nearly two decades and an Oscar-nominated actress, she told The New York Times that when it came to her romantic life, “You don’t get that part of me. Sorry. We’re not discussing it… Nobody gets that. I don’t feel like I need to share my personal life.” And she’s absolutely correct. We are not owed hers (or anyone’s) coming out. We are not owed beyond what she has left for us on stage and screen.

But it’s also hard not to feel this as a homecoming, deep in your bones. And I hope that if Queen sees this joy spreading across the internet as pictures of her and Eboni go viral, that she knows its meant with pride in her and gratitude for all that she already gave us. Everything else is a bonus.

I have loved Queen Latifah since I was eight years old. I loved her longer than I’ve known I was gay. In so many ways, she taught me a lot about strength, and independence, and loving other Black women and not taking any shit and womanhood. So it’s impossible, now, not to gush when Emma Chamberlin interviewed Queen and Eboni together on the carpet and asked, “Is this a date night?”

Queen takes a deep breath and smiles before teasingly calling Eboni “Eb.” Eboni fills in their banter and says that she playfully threatened Queen that this was the year they were doing the Met, and she better make it happen. Like an old married couple who’s been here a thousand times before, Queen Latifah picks up the story there, saying that she wanted to be “the hero of my household.” And so now, here they are.

I’m saying… this is Queen Latifah… being flirtatious and chivalrous to her partner, live and in front of cameras? I am on my knees. We used to dream for days like this!!

(No, literally. Do you know many times I have wished I could be silly and thirsty and overdramatic on the internet for their love story??? To even be able make a joke like “I’m on my knees” in same that’s usually reserved for an umpteenth number of white skinny lesbians in their 20s and 30s. To borrow even more internet speak: I cry 😭)

I think a lot about what it means to be Black and a lesbian or bisexual or queer and a woman over a certain age. In part, I think about it because of this job (writing about gay people on the internet), but also it’s because of this job that I know so many of the queer icons I grew up loving — for whatever reason, they’ve never felt like they could come out. Not fully. Not in such a way that we can openly write about them.

And there are a lot of days where, to be honest, that doesn’t matter. Everyone, even celebrities, is entitled to their own life story. It’s truly probably none of our business. But Queen Latifah did an interview with her longtime partner and after loving her for what feels like my entire life now I get to all caps yell SHUT UP YALL, THEY ARE SO CUTE and they are and it’s perfect. Sometimes, that matters too.

[cherry-aqua-blossom]

All in all, it’s been an alright year. Nothing spectacular, nothing horrible. More of a transitional year if anything. Things changed, I’ve changed, I’ve lost many things but I’ve also gained more than I’ve had before. So I can’t say I’m ungrateful.

I know I haven’t really been consistent with art since 2021, and for that, I apologize. I have my reasons which I’ll explain below.

Around mid 2021 I went back to in person school after being online for a year and a half due to the pandemic. Compared to online school, it took up a big chunk of my time, time I was used to spending in my art.

And well, I was getting burnt out. Almost everyday for a near year and a half I was working on drawings for Hazbin and Helluva Boss. It was practically the only hobby I had during that time and the only thing I drew. In retrospect, it wasn’t healthy, just drawing nonstop. It didn’t help I was losing interest in the fandoms either.

But over 2022 and 2023, I changed. I gained new friends, lost old ones, made mistakes, learned from those mistakes. I became healthier mentally and physically. I got into other hobbies like painting, sewing, writing, reading, etc. Hell I even got into a couple romantic relationships.

Things were simpler in 2020-2021, with my online friends and my art, but simple doesn’t always mean better.

As for this blog? I’m definitely keeping it, and I’ll try being active more. I can’t say I’ll post so much art as I used to, but Im looking forward to Hazbin’s release and getting that spark again.

This blog has a special place in my heart, all the memories and the friends I’ve made, they’re all special, even if some of them aren’t in my life anymore. Despite all the hard ships, rat mom never stopped loving you guys.

Thank you to my mutuals, my loyal rat children, my followers, for giving me so much support and love for the three years I’ve been here. I hope we can make more memories in 2024.

In no particular list, here’s some specific people I’d love to thank for just being here and dealing with my chaos.

@tofuless @tranquil-slaughterhouse @lazypanartist @omilkandhoneyteao @spookigoobi @l00ny-m00n @gib-vinegar @funkyfoxx0 @businesscasualart @outofthepapers @petitprincess1 @maple-chuuu @thesnowflake18 @tatawitchred @hatsanddragons

[sumire-no-nikki]

Hardy Days

January is a month that takes some time to break into like brand new shoes. It always feels longer than it is. It has been a while since I’ve been online properly though for the best reasons. My days have been full. My desk succumbs to entropy just as soon as I’ve tidied it up, my planner is abundant with marks, overflowing with tasks in constant flux. But that just means my hours are well consumed. My days feel very lived in and I’m endlessly thankful for that.

It hasn’t been all work though! I managed to read 4 books so far this month, two of which I would like to mention here. The first book I read is Before We Say Goodbye, which is the fourth book in the Before the Coffee Gets Cold Series by Toshikazu Kawaguchi. I think the fourth one is my favorite so far, if not a close second to the first book. This one made me cry so hard it felt like a cardio exercise haha. The fifth book hasn’t been translated yet and I’m too impatient so I went ahead and started it in Japanese. I was just telling a pal how much comfier it is in the original language. I think I will reread the previous books in Japanese as well once I can get ahold of it from Kinokuniya. I’m so excited!

Another book I finished recently is Voices of the Dead by Ambrose Parry. It’s a historical fiction medical/crime novel set in Victorian Edinburgh. It also has hints of angsty romance between the two main characters, and if you know me at all, you know angst is my fuel, my reason for being lmao. But on top of the already very attractive premise, I must say the pervasive question of “am I what I come from or am I what I can become” throughout all the books is such a robust subject that I can never get enough of. I really enjoyed it! Ah, but now I’ve got to wait for the next book (if there is one). I’m pretty hopeful because the ending was set up for a continuation for sure, but you never know. Also, can I just complain about something extremely petty? Why is the fourth book’s spine different from the rest of the series? It’s from the same publisher, the same font is used. But why is the symbol not the same size as the other volumes’ symbols? WHY. Why would they make it not line up properly like that? I’m losing my mind!!

Now, I’m not one for redecorating just because it’s a new year, but I did change up my vinyl corner by switching out the old art with two posters in matching red—one from a Mitski concert way back in 2017, and one poster of Billie Marten’s 2023 album. Two very different eras of my life coming together. Quite poetic now that I think about it.

While on the subject of music, I’ve had Marika Hackman’s new album “Big Sigh” on repeat since it came out. Oh my god it’s so so good. I remember thinking when I first heard it, god, this is like having my guts pulled out of me. The lyrics are so raw I felt like my chest was going to cave in. Even the music conveys such angst and self-sabotage. The one song that struck me the most is the penultimate song called “Please Don’t Be So Kind.” That one really spoke to me. I love it so much I figured out the guitar chords by ear because I badly wanted to play it. (It’s just three chords in slightly different arrangements throughout the song: C/G-D/A-Em7/B. Half-step up tuning or more conveniently with capo on the 1st fret). I haven’t stopped thinking about the album and I don’t think I will ever stop doing so. I feel that my life is made richer by having listened to this body of work. Even though it’s rather depressing, I actually relish that about it. I think I’m at an age now where I can clearly see my emotion outside my body. It’s a place I can visit as I please. I can work through my feelings and then when I’ve done my best with it, I can leave it be. I can experience things as deeply as I want to while having the confidence that I won’t lose myself in it. It’s a very freeing sense of clarity.

Also, this is from a while back now but I got the newest volume of the coffee magazine I’m subscribed to and the coffee sampler they sent for the quarter is stellar. It tasted of peach and orange, it was insane. The sampler had enough for only two espresso double shots but it made such an impact I just have to note it down here. The roaster, A Matter of Concrete, is based in Rotterdam. I might have to pop in there to try more of their coffee one of these days. Oh, but this reminds me that my grinders are due for a cleaning. Right, I’ll have to do that sometime tomorrow. And I’m not looking forward to it because I’m always anxious I’ll fuck up the burrs or put the grinders back all wrong. Also, looking at this photo, I have to polish my espresso machine, don’t I? Oops.

What else have I been up to? I’ve recently reconnected with my best friend from my undergraduate days and it has been such a blessing. We didn’t have a fight or anything. We just drifted apart because I moved away for my MA and they went back home for a job offer. But they reached out to let me know they’ll be moving to Europe to start a second degree and a career change!! Which means we will be able to see each other again!! Oh, I’m looking forward to that so much I’m counting the days. I have such fond memories of them I can’t wait to bear hug the hell out of them haha.

I also finally decided to finish a writing project I have left alone to stew in its own unfinished mess for far too long lol. I forced myself to churn as much words as I could, and then the arduous task of negotiating what to keep, what to expand and what to cut came soon after. I’ve since finished it and I’m relieved to have concluded that story. I’m quite satisfied with the arc. It felt like a good study of how I write, what I want from a story and how I can achieve it. Writing is a process of self discovery and I’m always overwhelmed by that feeling when it’s happening in real time. Like you feel minute parts of yourself shifting into new positions, light shed in previously dark corners. It’s overwhelming and terrifying, yet tranquil and natural at the same time. I look forward to whatever I’ll find in the next writing project.

Anyway, I’m off to do a bit of translation work. It has been quite an eventful Friday for me over here, and my weekend is looking like it will be just as busy. How has your January been? I hope you’ve been taking good care of yourself. I leave you with a song by This Is The Kit called “Inside Outside.” It has a groovy bass line that I enjoy playing and straight up just vibing to. I recommend the album it's from if you’re in the market for something new to listen to.

That’s all for now. Until next time!

[svtminji]

WEVERSE LIVE :: SEVENTEEN IS LIVE! -> 🦢

10.04 - 06:54 AM warnings. slight one piece la spoliers language. 'normal' = korean, 'italic' = english, 'bold-italic' = japanese members who joined in. joshua & s.coups

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 06:56 AM

hi everyone~~~ how’s your day going? i just got out of work currently and heading back home. today’s tmi is that i drank some boba today after a few months! i really recommend the classic brown sugar boba, especially the milk one ( ◠‿◠ )

❪ 💎 — 💬 ❫ - 06:59 AM

how was jeonghan-oppa’s birthday? and what did you get him for his birthday?

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 06:59 AM

oh! what did i get for jeonghan’s birthday? hmm, i don’t think i can tell you all of the details but, i got him three expensive *sigh* lego sets and some wine from italy! don’t worry, my bank account has not been drained yet. i still have coups as my second bank~~

❪ few minutes of silence ❫ - 07:01 AM

❪ 💎 — 💬 ❫ - 07:06 AM

could you pose for us?

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 07:06 AM

pose..? um, i’ll do a v-sign

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 07:08 AM

wow, i’m getting a lot of questions currently. i’m trying to find one that sticks out. hold on, which member is online? huh? oh it’s shua! hi josh *waving*

❪ 🦌 — 💬 ❫ - 07:09 AM

hi mizu! i’m watching the live with coups lol. we’re making sure you’re not spoiling anything for the comeback

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 07:10 AM

ugh.. as if! my manager-unnie is literally staring me down. tell coups i said hi!!

❪ 💎 — 💬 ❫ - 07:12 AM

have you seen the fight between the fishmen, zoro, and sanji in the live action?

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 07:12 AM

what. what do YOU MEAN FIGHT SCENE?? i’m not even on the first three episodes.. i mean, i saw the anime so it’s common sense but the live action? no i haven’t.

❪ 💎 — 💬 ❫ - 07:14 AM

who’s your favorite op man? i really like zoro~~

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 07:15 AM

who’s my favorite one piece man? wow.. you guys cannot put me on the spot. i literally have a boyfriend..but my favorite man is sanji *laughs* he’s literally what i want as a man, except for some weird things. he’s been my anime and manga crush since i was.. ten? and now that i’m 28, it still hasn’t changed. i felt so horrible for him at cake island.

❪ 💎 — 💬 ❫ - 07:17 AM

what’s better to start with? anime, manga, or live action?

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 07:18 AM

hmm. well it really depends on how much time you can spend with the entire series. there’s over a thousand anime episodes with a lot of movies. for manga.. i don’t think it’s the best choice to go with. the live action only has one season with around eight episodes? it goes by very fast, i think like four episodes into one.

❪ 💎 — 💬 ❫ - 07:20 AM

did you see that mackenyu is zoro?

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 07:20 AM

don’t even mention it.. he’s such a good actor. like.. he can attack me like that too. too bad he’s married already

❪ more minutes of silence ❫ - 07:21 AM

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 07:26 AM

should i stick my head out?

❪ followed with MORE silence ❫ - 07:28 AM

❪ 🦢 ❫ - 07:35 AM

carats~~ i should head out~ make sure you’re eating well! this has been minji 🫶 bye-bye

WOOO a weverse live done ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ svtminji est. 2023

[penny-hartzs]

this is going to be long. i saw ur post about j0sh/rachel and the whole wild “grooming” allegations and i have to say it comes 100% from people shipping rachel with tom and wanting to feel validated by finding a reason to “dislike” her current partner. and we need to have a conversation with twitter’s obsession w white boy x biracial or woc real life shipping.

tom is their white boy of the month. also, if josh was white and a blue eyed conventionally attractive man you’ll see the allegations wouldn’t even exist cuz they would have not problem w the couple. might u, tom is also the same age as josh. i find a bit of racist too but i won’t go there. them just not considering josh attractive enough to be w her so she should be w her white attractive co-star instead.

i’ve been following rachel since 2019 when she was announced as maria in wss because i am a musical girlie and she’s been friends w josh ever since then. 3 years of friendship and 2 years of relationship. rachel is a very friendly. you can tell she befriends people very quickly and isn’t shy about showing that love to friends. the same thing she does w tom now she’s been very vocal to her other friends she holds dear as well. her legit best friend for ages is a man.

those people suddenly being so concerned for rachel want josh to be a ped0 so badly to the point of exaggerating the whole situation. and doing that just shows they want ppl to deliberately hate on josh and ship her w tom. it doesn’t come from a genuine concern. out of all the post i’ve seen wanting to claim she was “gr0omed” they want to make it seem like they started dating during wss when they started dating two years later (late 2021). and i was there to see their friendship to relationship turning point. rachel was 20. both were consenting adults. and josh was also 24/25 not “almost 30” like some say to exaggerate the situation. they have exactly a 5 year age difference. (both born in may).

i feel like so many people see age differences and scream so bad because 21 being the drinking age in the us has twisted their minds. they want to paint rachel as a little girl that had not agency about the relationship she gets in. as if she and her family haven’t been close to him for 3 years prior. i even saw someone say “hope rachel has a good influence in her life that can advice her” girl u dont know those people. why are u making some wild allegations like this. allegations that can ruin someone’s career and entire image. they have been in what it seems to be a really good relationship for 2 years now. rachel’s family is very close with him. and they are very private despite being “public”. they seem to share when it’s needed but keep the relationship mostly to themselves. josh isn’t very active on social media and frankly, i feel like since he is starting his movie career he doesn’t want to be known as “rachel’s bf” cuz people are already calling him nepo bf and that he gets roles only cuz of rachel and he is really talented. and the whole “he doesn’t even support her publicly like tom”. first, tom replied to a post made on his own account about his current co-star. and josh not only isn’t that active on social media but he doesn’t have enough star power yet. they also seem to have two different love languages. rachel is very vocal/physical. he seems more chill. the most important thing is that he was the person with rachel when she was getting mass hated and the fact she even has to clarify (in her 2023 appreciation post) that her bf was there for her is wild cuz people are too chronically online these days and measure love with public postings. and most people didn’t know she was in a relationship until the tgh press tour lmao.

another wild thing i saw from people is saying “they’re in different life stages and that’s weird” well, not really. they’re both in their 20s and embarking in acting together. they both got their first acting job in wss. they’re on the same train and live a life very different from ours.

i get people feeling weird over the fact she was 17 turning 18 when she met him and he was 23. but that doesn’t necessarily meant she was gro0med. not every age different comes from an abusive environment and it’s really weird. and i literally have met people that have been friends for a while and naturally felt in love and have been together for ages. like let’s find ourselves an honest concern to yell about truly.

Thank you for taking the time to write this, you gave me some new perspective on Rachel and Josh's relationship I didn't have and also thanks for sharing your opinion with me!

People on twitter and tiktok shipping women with their male costars is certainly not a new phenomenon but I've been seeing it grow insanely popular these last few years: from Halle Bailey and Jonah Hauer-King, India Amarteifio and Corey Mylchreest, Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya, Rachel Zegler and Tom Blyth and so on and so on. It doesn't matter that most of these people were/are in relationships with others (and are pretty vocal about it), we're still going to see fancams of the co-stars posing on the red carpet together (with a romantic song as the musical background) and tweets about their 'natural chemistry' are going to go viral again and again.

I think it's absolutely fair to talk about racism when stans are rooting for a woman of color to break up with her boyfriend (also a man of color) and get with her white co-star, but the thing is, most of them know it's wrong, so they come up with other reasons to justify the hate towards their fave's partner: Halle Bailey's boyfriend makes it easy for them, but Josh and Rachel seem to keep fairly to themselves so they had to dig deeper. So on the one hand, I think the weird allegations Josh is receiving right now are based on the simple (and idiotic) fact that people want Rachel to be with Tom. On the other hand it opens up a huge topic of conversation about age gaps in couples, and especially in Hollywood. I personally believe that five years apart is a perfectly appropriate age gap between a couple and I have no idea how Rachel and Josh are supposed to be in 'different stages of their life', since they are both upcoming actors, starred in the same successful movie and are in their early and mid twenties. I dont understand why it's even an issue for anyone and tbh I find it disheartening that Rachel has such lovely things to say about him and seems to genuinely love him very much only for her fans to call him a groomer and wish for them to break up. Grooming someone is a serious, dangerous thing and if online users keep using those words for situations like Rachel and Josh, they'll end up losing all meaning. Lastly, I know social media is a huge part of our lives, but I still find it completely stupid to judge anyone's relationship on their instagram and twitter activity. Have we learned nothing from those men who post their wives on their main page while simultaneously sending dick pics to models?

Let's end it with a pic of them, because they're cute and it's almost christmas

[louisisalarrie]

Ooh, please tell me more about how Shiall today might relate to Larry? I’ve been keeping an eye on Niall, and I have so many thoughts, but I’m mostly just confused!

heya anon, and welcome to the show!

now, I want to start this off by saying I haven’t had much to do with the Shiall stuff, so I’m not an expert on it. But, here are a couple of my thoughts as to why this is an interesting turn of events, and what this means for larry.

so, it’s been pretty interesting seeing all the Shiall stuff online since the show happened. And well… I’ve seen a lot of larries/ziams also now start shipping Shiall, which is interesting, and while Shiall has never been as big as Larry or even Ziam, it blew up the fandom and even got headlines in the press. So… let’s have a deeper dive.

Now… people have believed in Shiall or at least entertained the idea of them together since at least 2017. It’s not a new thing whatsoever. But since the show of them performing together, it has become pretty huge. And there are a lot of solos reaaaaallllyyyy hating that, and it’s becoming a bit beefy between the niall girls and the shiall believers (which is yikes because can everyone just be nice to each other for a god damn second Jesus Christ) so it’s now dividing nialls otherwise pretty chill fandom. Which is new for him, and will be interesting to see how it’s handled. But so far in the press? It’s going well for him.

He’s gotten a write up in a few outlets which all have a similar headline of “Niall Horan Surprises Fans by Bringing Out Shawn Mendes at London Concert” (US Weekly). But, Rolling Stone really went all out here:

Now, I dunno about you… but adding “fellow lover boy” and “that’s my boy” to a headline 100% grabs attention and maybe implies a bit more than just pals. In my marketing and journalism experience/study, this would absolutely fall under seeding and somewhat subconsciously sways the reader into further curiosity about Niall and Shawn’s relationship.

What’s funny about this, is 1 week prior to the show, Elle posted this article out of quite literally nowhere. Shawn and Camila haven’t been spotted together since (to my knowledge) April of 2023 when they were photographed kissing at Coachella. So… why was this dropped a week prior?

Anyway, Niall is still signed to Modest mgmt, who we’ve watched control narratives and PR ops for the last 13 years. So, it’s safe to say we can see a bit of a pattern here, but it feels different this time too… right?

Niall’s mgmt would 110% know about the Shiall rumours. They’ve been around for over 6 years, and have continued to grow in popularity over the past couple of years particularly. It’s very obviously a topic that the fandom talk about, and that a lot believe in. So, to allow niall to bring on stage someone who his fans believe he’s actually dating as opposed to his “gf” who was also in the crowd that night (not that literally anyone cared lol) feels very freeing. Do modest and Niall not care about the rumours? Is it actually true and he managed to convince his team to let him do it in exchange of staying with his gf for longer? Or is it something entirely different?

Well… it’s a tricky one.

Modest have been well known to closet artists for years. We’ve seen it with larry, and other young men too. So, why the change of heart? Essentially encouraging rumours by giving this the go ahead, and rolling stone weirdly quickly posting that article with those particular words in the headline, why now?

It’s good PR, sure. It’s beneficial for Shawn to get back into the headlines more after not performing for 12 months, and gives nialls tour a bit of a boost. But i would argue that it’s encouraging Shiall. And I would also argue that modest have actively tried to squash gay rumours for years with larry (we will talk about the Union J shit show another time and just stick with larry for this) so it’s interesting that they’re encouraging it. But it’s been a pretty nice little test drive for larry, hasnt it?

In no way has Shiall divided the fandom to the same point as Larry, but the love we all saw for shiall (whether we believed in them being romantically linked or not, it was incredibly wholesome) from around the fandom was very loud. I saw a hell of a lot more positive chats than negative (and I looked deeper than just my timeline) and so it was pretty safe to say that it went well for the most part.

People are saying that niall might have done it behind his team’s back because Shawn was placed in Paris hours earlier, but that’s just a reminder of something we already know that we can’t trust photos to be released on the same day at the same time they are taken, but I think he’d get in a hell of a lot of trouble for that. So I’m not on board with that idea.

So I guess to put it down to a couple of options to sum this up:

a) modest has flipped the script and is okay with Shiall because they’re actually not dating (unlike how they handled larry because they were) and it’s all just rumours and niall and his gf aren’t bothered from it so it’s fine because it’s some good publicity

b) niall and Shawn actually are dating and his team is seeding a coming out, testing the waters with the fandom, perhaps try to encourage larry to sign with them again due to how “free thinking” they are now

c) nialls contract allows him to have more control over different aspects of his career so he was able to just invite him up there no matter what narrative is being pushed in his personal life

So… what’s this mean for larry and why have I rambled on for 3-5 business days?

Well…

Niall is dealing with the same rumours with Shawn as H and L do with each other. He is actively showing the fans that believing in a relationship between two dudes in fact doesn’t ruin their lives and families and their girlfriends are crying all the time, and he’s also showing other mgmt teams that you can do this shit without the world falling to pieces (aka the V*nes and Az*ff losers) whether or not it’s true. It’s a very small step in the right direction, but it’s a really good one. So I think yeah it’s important to see what this means for Larry and their next steps, because niall has made it look pretty simple. But I think we should keep watching this all very closely.

[astroyongie]

IVE May Reading 2023

Note: please take it with a grain of salt and enjoy ! 

Yujin

Love: it seems like she is once again in a relationship (started around February/March) and that she is quite happy about her situation. I don’t have much to say other to confirm that and also to say that she is walking on a cloud at the moment

Career: she seems to be very hopeful and extremely content with her career situation at the moment, not only is she getting tons of income but she is also securing opportunities for later and also have somo solo stuff. She knows her worth as an artist, however Yujin should just be careful with her jealousy

Health:

Physical: She needs to make sure she is having protected sexual activities

Mental: I feel that she gets easily emotional and agitated with things, so she needs to slow down a little. Yujin also does a lot of meditation to relax and focus

Gaeul

Love: Gaeul isn’t in a relationship but she has been seeing someone lately, and although her fling isn’t official she suffers a lot from it due to the dependency she created around this one person. She does anything they want and honestly this doesn’t seem very healthy

Career: She had a huge argument with one of the members and she came out of it not happy at all. Other than, her career is equally secure, a lot of money is coming to her as well and she is just so happy with everything. Gaeul is also working on solo projects and she has faith to built her own reputation

Health:

Physical: she is sick from something but I don’t know what. Other than that she needs to look out for lower backs and pelvic area

Mental: She is the type to suffer in silence

Rei

Love: Her situation is very complicated and I don’t know how to explain it without revealing much, but basically she is in a relationship at the moment, but it’s the kind to be such a bad influence and overall toxic to the point where she makes decisions about her health that aren’t good at all. Rei needs to be very very careful if she doesn’t want to have a scandal attached to her name

Career: For her career I see positivity and a lot of good opportunities coming for her through her managers and sponsors that can be only good for her artistic growth

Health:

Physical: She eats barely, she also is dealing with digestive issues

Mental: She has a lot of dark thoughts around her and she is definitely suffering emotionally

Wonyoung

Love: So it seems like Wonyoung has gave in on her crushes and she is currently dating someone, however ! This relationship is very discreet, quite a secret, because her company isn’t into letting her have a relationship (nor his her sponsor). But in any case she is trying It out and being giggly about it

Career: obviously there’s only good things behind Wonyoung, even more with the same sponsor energy behind her that gives her the most opportunities. Her career is balanced, she has been writing lycris and overall her solo projects are seeing true form. Her fame only keeps growing

Health:

Physical: she eats barely as well

Mental: She is constantly in state of fear, guilt and doubts

Liz

Love: It seems like Liz had her eyes on someone she got close with however this person rejected her after leading her on. So at the moment she is kinda annoyed. Also she was the one who had a fight with Gaeul and this was probably related to their relationships

Career: Things are nor good nor bad, because I see comparatively with the other members, that she didn’t received that much money since her financial growth is currently blocked. I also feel like she had worked a lot for some type of opportunity that was removed last minute. Liz however isn’t sad, she knows her luck will change eventually

Health:

Physical: She also doesn’t eat much

Mental: what people say online affects her a lot

Leeseo

Love: She is still dating however it looks like she haven’t been able to be with her partner that much, and lately their relationship is basically based on texting and calling each other rather than seeing each other. Also her family isn’t okay with it since they want her to focus on her career

Career: things are going well, she has the luck to have almost every member behind her and helping her with her projects but Leeseo still has to work a little and wait before her projects can come to light

Health:

Physical: she is dealing with quite some throat issue

Mental: She isn’t very well, and I also feel a lot of anger in general

[wherethewaterstarts-andyouend]

2,27,30?

2) I would definitely say how I was raised, I am 95%ish Native American, my family is religious, and having no brothers my sisters and I were raised to do the work (my family owns horses and other farm animals). My family doesn’t abide by our traditional culture, but there has definitely been influence from there as well as Christian values.

27) I am fascinated by humanity’s ability to form connections, how people bond and form their relationships, and where that leads them. I love being able to see the dots and how they connect, especially being online and how everything had to fall into place to meet people I’ve formed relationships with.

30) I love fiber arts and since I’ve picked up crochet (May 2023) it’s been my favorite way to create. I learned to knit first and I also bake, but crochet is so much less structured compared to them. I may follow patterns, but I always feel like I am able to do more with less. However, my hands have been bothering me like crazy lately so I haven’t been doing much. ;-;

Thank you for the ask! :)

[lady-tadpole]

I miss you.

[Emotional ramble ahead.]

A while ago I was thinking about how many friends I have, compared to how many I’ve had.

When you have a hard time connecting to people and you grew up in a culture that thinks being outgoing is rude, and being passionate about things means you’re unstable… and you’re a very direct and passionate person… Well.

Let’s just say that I never met most of my closest friends, and I haven’t messaged many of them for years. At some point I just got used to considering friendships from the outside. I could never be anyone’s friend, right? Not even speaking of “Best Friend.” Simply doesn’t happen.

Instead, I started identifying with charismatic people on the internet who made content I connected with. If I can’t be popular or even liked, I can still enjoy creating things – and others who also created.

Parasocial relationships get a bad rep, honestly. In concept, there’s nothing wrong if you connect with someone you’ll never meet. To learn about yourself through a stranger. It’s perfectly normal, actually: It’s one of those things that makes us human.

Sure, some people take it too far by starting to stalk or harass people online but, really? People always take it too far with just about everything.

Suppose that brings me to the catboy in the room.

Today, on Dec 19, 2023, I learned that YouTuber JoCat permanently quit his content creation work due to online harassment. Harassment not by overzealous fans, but certainly by mentally unstable individuals. All Joseph did was be sincere online. Sweet fool.

Not until I read his community post explaining the situation did I realise how much this guy and the stuff he made had meant to me.

As of writing this, I am nearly 23 years old. I’ve been out as trans for three years, I’m on hormones, I’ve had a surgery, and I’ve had my legal name and sex changed. I’m a well-liked colleague at my workspace, and my online friends know me as a thoughtful and creative artist and Dungeon Master.

I’d been watching JoCat since I was 16. For seven of my most meaningful years, Joseph has inspired me so many times.

He inspired me to not be toxic online even if no one would ever reward me for it – it’s gained me some very close friends.

He inspired me to look inwards, and not feel ashamed for myself – it let me evolve into a person I’m finally learning to respect.

He inspired me to keep being creative even if it doesn’t immediately benefit me – I started being a Dungeon Master largely thanks to him and his amazing work.

Finally, he inspired me to show care – to those around me as well as the things I do. I’ve been in a happy relationship with my long-term friend for ten months now. I always thought I was too abrasive to love.

All this to say, so much of me is JoCat that I’ve stopped noticing – until now. Until he left.

I miss you, Joseph. I feel almost like I lost a friend, even if I’ll never talk to you.