#what does diavolo in that scene have to offer us?? absolutely nothing

[3vocatio]

obm devs are a joke lmfao the fact that they had the audacity to self-plagiarize such a tender scene with solomon still irks me to this day.

vs

[astaroth1357]

How to Calm Your Demon Boyfriend; Vol 1

Tame Demons, Save Lives

Notice: Due to an impending lawsuit for libel and misinformation, Mammoney, Inc. has filed for bankruptcy. All past guides from their company have been revised and re-released. All future printing will be handled Solo Man, Press.

It's bound to happen to everyone, right? You’re just trying to enjoy a nice night with your cherished hellspawn then suddenly something sets them off! Now they're on the verge of wrecking humanity and all you're trying to do is flag down the waiter for more breadsticks…! Well have no fear! Consider this your handy guide to How to Calm Your Demon Boyfriend, tailor-made to whatever model you just so happen to be attached to! Follow our advice and you'll know just how to turn your enraged creature of damnation right back into the affectionate lover you know them to be!

This volume only covers how calm your demon if he’s mad at SOMEONE ELSE. If you’re looking to calm down a demon who’s mad at YOU please seek Volume Two!

Lucifer’s mad at Someone Else

Your action should depend on who he’s mad at. Unfortunately, there is a diverse amount of people who irritate him... For simplicity's sake, we recommend first seeking out our supplementary materials: How to Deal with Greedy Scumbags and How to Resolve Demonic Family Squabbles. Both should prove useful.

Assuming now that his irritation is caused by someone outside of the family there shouldn’t be too much to worry about. Lucifer is a very composed demon… unless someone (who’s name is not Diavolo) tries to order him around or belittle him in any way.

You must act quickly, there is no time to chastise the stranger for their foolish error.

Appeal to logic first. Unless he is truly incensed, he should still be willing to hear out the reasons why going full demon on the situation may not be the best idea.

Hopefully, your reasoning skills are sufficient enough to make a good case for staying calm and he should (begrudgingly) agree with your advice and maintain composure.

However, if he is truly that mad then desperate measures are in order… Threaten to tell Diavolo if he does anything. This should stop him, but he will be very unhappy with you pulling what amounts to the “I’m telling your boss” card.

Smooth this over with him after tensions have settled. Ideally, you have very good reasons for doing such a thing. He may end up agreeing with you in hindsight (but never expect him to say so).

Mammon’s mad at Someone Else

This should actually be a very uncommon event. Mammon is irritable at times but rarely will he express his anger to such a degree that you must step in.

Should this happen it is likely because you are in danger and we first advise you to sit tight and not hurt yourself. Mammon is on the way.

Once he is there (and for some reason you wish him to be merciful), demonstrate to him that you are, in fact, fine and desire to leave. It may take some coaxing, but he is a pushover and will likely relent if you plead insistently enough.

If you are not, in fact, fine then there is nothing to be done. He will not show mercy even if you want him to. Just sit tight and focus on not dying until he can get you to emergency services.

Leviathan’s mad at Someone Else

He’s probably jealous of someone so he’s feeling angry and insecure.

Physical contact is important, it will remind him that you’re with him and want to be with him. Find a way to touch him in an intimate way; cling to his arm, lace fingers, or catch his cheeks, etc. It is a physical demonstration of your bond.

Get his eyes off of whoever has him worked up because if he gets too upset he may lash out... Gently coax him to either look at just you or stand directly in his line of sight like you’re blocking a TV screen.

Now build him up! If he’s feeling bad that he can’t do A, remind him that he’s fantastic at B and who cares about A anyway? If he’s wishing that he were C, well screw C because you like the fact that he’s D. Soothe that self-confidence as a supportive lover would.

Once he’s sufficiently reassured, distract him with something otaku-related. Mention a new show, point to kind of anime reference, or offer to go play games. The crisis should now be averted so enjoy your adorkable demon once more!

Satan’s mad at Someone Else

The name of the game is deescalation because otherwise someone’s probably going to get maimed.

Satan is not going to want to show his worst self to you if he can avoid it (he’s a little image conscious that way) so you can use that to your advantage. Your very presence alone is a bit of a buffer.

Appeal to reason, but never ever say that he’s overreacting. That will cause an instant snapback and anger him even more.

Remind him of the reasons why he should’t give in to his temper. One at a time now, don't pile them on. He needs time to consider each one.

Do remember that really these are only suggestions and not orders, if you tell him “Sit back down because you’ll cause a scene” then it’s a scene you’re going to get.

If all else fails, attempt to get him out of the scenario entirely. Make up some excuse and try to coax him to leave. It may or may not work based on the strength of your arguments before. If it’s REALLY not a good idea to be mad right now, he will likely let himself be taken away. 

But know when to fold’em. Satan is the Avatar of Wrath. If he feels truly justified in bringing down the Hammer of Rage, then there may be no stopping him. At that point, find a safe place to stand and wait it out. He’ll get it out of his system soon enough...

Asmodeus’ mad at Someone Else

Asmo is a diva when he's mad. There's no reasoning, there's no logic, this is very much a "yes dear" situation.

Just placate him as best as you can at first. Chances are what has him so irate isn't very major anyway and can be easily taken care of. If, in this case, it’s a person then deftly assess what sort of person you are dealing with to find the right solution.

Store/restaurant employees will likely make up the bulk of these interactions… In these cases, I suggest stepping in for Asmo as a “representative” of sorts in order to spare them the brunt of his fury. 

You will be the best go-between to your boyfriend and the rest of the world that just doesn't seem to understand his (lengthy) requirements. Act according to his interests, but remind him gently to have realistic expectations of what can be done.

If Asmo is unable to have his way, he will turn to you for comfort and consolation. You need not agree completely with his perspective, but be very empathetic to his plight and try to frame the situation as reasonably as possible.

Physical contact is paramount to Asmo’s emotional wellbeing, so cuddle your boyfriend back to happiness!

If the other person is one of his brothers… Pick your battles wisely. Please consider our helpful supplementary materials: On Demonic Family Relations & Asmodeus and the Public: Dos and Don’ts

Beelzebub’s mad at Someone Else

It is advantageous to always carry emergency snacks around Beel and here is one of the many reasons why.

If you are dealing with an angry Beel then you are either in a situation where he’s being denied food or someone has hurt one of his family members.

If it is merely an issue of food, gift him the emergency snacks (preferably stay stocked on some of his absolute favorites for maximum diversion) and then allow the other person a chance to exit the confrontation. 

Promise to take Beel to the nearest possible food source, uphold said promise, and then there’s no need for bloodshed.

If someone has hurt one of his family members* or dare say you… Consult our supplementary material: My Protective Demon and Me

*Important Note: If someone has hurt Belphegor I strongly suggest simply leaving the area. There is nothing to be done, best to seek safety and wait for others to assist you. Do try to avoid the falling rubble on your way out.

Belphegor’s mad at Someone Else

Belphegor is a bit of an irritable demon, however, it should take significant prodding for him to be enraged enough to cause any trouble. He’s quite lazy.

If there is something irritating Belphie, he is far more likely than the others to just leave in disgust. He will most likely try to convince you to leave as well. This will only be a problem if, for say, you don’t want or are unable to leave.

Keep a very close eye on Belphegor throughout the interaction. Make note of any changes in posture, tone of voice, and other subtle physical indicators of exasperation. They may be slight, but it is crucial to know when his patience is wearing thin.

Ideally, you can speed up the encounter before he reaches his wit’s end.

If he begins to make an excessive amount of snide or biting comments then he is reaching his boiling point and it is time to leave... Now. 

End the conversation, take Belphegor, and calmly go. He will not fight you. 

Secure the nearest place you can for an emergency nap/snuggle session, preferably one that is both safe and clean, and remain there until he’s soothed again. Attempting to leave early will aggravate him.

If you are truly unable to leave there’s not much that can be done… take a step back and try to stay out of the line of fire. He will likely end things quickly so he can get back to napping as soon as possible, be sure to accompany him there.

To see how to calm down a demon who is mad at YOU, consult Volume Two: So You’ve Pissed Him Off Have You?

[fellulahh]

Where MC would take them on holiday in the human realm (brothers, Diavolo and Solomon)

Lucifer:

- MC takes him to London solely so that they can watch a performance at the West End theatre (*cough* Phantom of the Opera *cough*)

- She also takes him to see Opera shows, knowing he’d be absolutely mesmerised by the performances they put on with the huge stages and complete orchestras

- They stay in a really high-end hotel and have romantic evenings eating at fancy restaurants and then sharing a bath together when they get back

- Shows him Buckingham Palace, “that’s where the English equivalent to Diavolo lives”

Mammon:

- VIVA. LAS. VEGAS.

- MC gets SO excited to take Mammon to Vegas because he will be in his absolute element with all of the casinos

- His eyes light up when he first sees the colossal hotels with all of their elaborate designs

- Him and MC become partners in crimes, hitting the casinos in their fanciest clothes and fake jewellery pretending they’re wealthy royals from a small country in Europe called ‘Devildom’

- They lose all of their money but they find it hilarious because they have so much fun together

Levi:

- this one is pretty obvious: she takes him to Japan of course! The home of anime

- Levi has never been so excited in all of his life as he walks through the city of Tokyo with wide eyes

- He falls in love with everything he sees, MC keeps treating him to little gifts that she notices he ogles over when they’re in shops (she does begin to worry how on Earth they’re going to transport it all back to Devildom afterwards though)

- They take cute selfies together: sharing bubble tea, Levi posing with cosplayers etc

***BONUS: MC takes Levi to San Diego so that they can go to the human Comic Con (she doesn’t tell him they’re going though). Levi has never felt so welcome in a place ever before in his life and begs MC to take him again the following year***

Satan:

- Satan reads a lot and he’s very gentlemanly with MC - when she looks at him she sees Mr Darcy

- To make her fantasies of Satan x Mr Darcy come to life, she takes him on a trip to England, renting out the most beautiful, historic cottage in the countryside

- The area around their cottage is so scenic, with willow trees and rivers; Satan describes it as ‘something he’d read about in a book’

- He loves the gesture! The pair often spend their evenings cuddled up naked under a blanket beside the fire as he reads Pride and Prejudice to her before it turns into something much steamier

Asmo:

- MC takes him to Paris obviously, what’s more romantic?

- It’s called the ‘City of Love’ and Asmo soon finds out why

- Their time away together is spent exploring cute French cafes, taking selfies in front of the Eiffel Tower and making sweet love in their elegant hotel (sometimes even on the balcony if they’re feeling extra frisky)

- They explore all of the high end shops and popular museums

- To solidify their love and to remember their holiday, they write their names on a padlock and attach it to the Pont des Arts bridge

- Also an excuse to be French kissing a LOT

Beel:

- MC takes Beel to Rome and not just because it’s a beautiful city filled with history, but because she wants to introduce him to possibly the best food the human realm has to offer: Italian food

- Beel falls in love with everything he eats there. His personal favourite is the gelato

- Every day MC treats him to some scoops of the flavour of his choice

- They make a wish in the Trevi fountain (MC assumes his wish is about food but it’s actually a plea for MC to always love him)

- Her and Beel unconsciously recreate the scene from ‘Lady and the Hound’ where they kiss after chewing on the same piece of spaghetti

Belphie:

- MC knows Belphie isn’t a very active person and would appreciate a peaceful holiday more than an all action one

- She takes him to a really scenic village in the Netherlands; one that is surrounded by tulip fields

- Belphie’s absolutely mesmerised by all of the colours and the windmills that erect from the ground

- He finds it so, so therapeutic

- MC does have to stop him from falling asleep in the fields though, “yes I know the flowers look comfy but you can’t use them as a bed!”

Diavolo:

- MC thinks the Prince of Devildom could do with a break considering how hard he works all of the time

- And where do humans go to get away from everything? The Maldives

- Their holiday is SO romantic, it’s just the two of them in their own beach hut surrounded by nothing but crystal clear oceans and white sands

- More often than not they will have steamy, shirtless makeout sessions in the sand every night after drinking too many pina coladas

- Lots and lots and lots of sex (with a view!)

Solomon:

- MC would take him to the Harry Potter studios in London or Universal Studios in America as a joke

- “Now you can feel at home with your wizard friends!”

- Solomon doesn’t find the gesture as funny but he makes the most out of the day, eventually giving in to her teasing

- MC cries with laughter whenever he poses next to any of the photo ops with his wand out and a dramatic expression on his face

- Their entire trip gets documented on Devilgram, showing the demons that they’re still staying in contact!

[ibelongtowrath]

Three’s Company - Obey Me! Lucifer x Satan x Reader (NSFW)

Summary: When Lucifer and Satan accidentally switch bodies, they decide to stay in your room. A little unhealthy competition leads to the demons battling over who can fuck you better while they occupy the other demon's body...who's going to win? Rating: Explicit! 18+ NSFW Relationship: Lucifer x Reader, Satan x Reader, Lucifer x Satan x Reader Tags: threesome, oral sex, face-sitting, rough sex, vaginal sex, choking, spanking, hair pulling, vaginal fingering, rimming, fluff and smut, shameless smut, dialogue heavy Word Count: 6,919

PLEASE READ: Lucifer and Satan have switched bodies. After the jump when they're all at dinner and everything after that point, when Lucifer speaks/does something, he is doing so from inside of Satan's body, and vice versa.

I originally was going to label them as Satan (Lucifer) and Lucifer (Satan), but a friend brought up a good point: regardless of which body they currently possess, Lucifer is Lucifer and Satan is Satan. Therefore, I kept their names associated to whatever action/dialogue they're doing.

I tried to sprinkle reminders throughout via physical descriptions and some of the dialogue. I hope it's not too confusing!

Special shout out to @pridecomesbeforethefall​ and @shirothequeen​ for encouraging me when I first posted the idea to write this in the Obey Me! tags. I hope you enjoy!

An hour earlier…

“No, I’m not going to make a pact with you,” you declare firmly, eyes holding steady in Satan’s skewering gaze. The tension visibly escalates, and books are starting to hover in the air, like weapons aiming to strike.

“Excuse me?” thunders Satan, fury etched in his voice. “You’re just a lowly human. How dare you reject me when I  offer  to make a pact with you? I’ll hurt you-”

“That’s enough, Satan.” Lucifer’s voice booms from behind you. “You will do no harm to Diavolo’s exchange student.”

The hostility escalates even further with Lucifer’s arrival. Books are now flying across the room. You duck, barely avoiding getting smacked in the face by a particularly heavy one.

“Stay out of this, Lucifer,” Satan explodes.

“You’re better than this,” Lucifer chides his younger brother, shaking his head. “Don’t give in to your wrath.”

Satan clearly doesn’t like that, as the books begin to fly even  faster  all around. You cover your head with your arms, but you can’t help except to watch the two brothers in the middle of their explosive altercation.

One book in particular flies past Lucifer, and he studies it with a curious look on his face. Satan notices the book at the same time, and they both reach out to grab it. As they place their hands on its cover simultaneously, a white light suddenly bursts through the room.

You yelp, the force knocking me onto the floor, but thankfully you’re not hurt. You sit up on the heels of your hands, and your jaw drops as you take in what just happened.

About an hour later, in the dining room at dinnertime...

“We’re going to be staying in Y/N’s room for the time being, until the spell wears off,” Lucifer declares, glaring directly at his former body, which is now being possessed by his younger brother Satan. 

It was almost laughable, if not for how absurd it was. The two demons who hate each other the most, the avatars of pride and wrath, are currently possessing the other’s body temporarily.

And, thus, we all ended up affected by the situation.

“Why my room?” you ask, incredulous. “Can’t you two share one of your rooms?”

“Absolutely not,” both Satan and Lucifer answer at the same time, shooting daggers at one another.

“We decided we’re forbidden from entering into the other person’s room at all,” Lucifer answers me.

“They can’t stay in my room. If anything happened to my precious figures, I’d be heated!” exclaims Levi. “Although, I wouldn’t mind watching the drama unfold! I’d have my popcorn ready!”

“Beel doesn’t want anybody sleeping in Belphie’s bed, I refuse to stay with Mammon, and as for Asmo...well, I’d rather not know what he does in that room,” Lucifer continues. Asmo only laughs at that, not denying anything. “So, therefore, your room is the only option, Y/N.”

“Wait, what?!” Mammon exclaims. “Only I should be allowed-”

“This is not up for discussion,” Lucifer interjects. His caustic stare instantly silences Mammon.

Even when he’s in someone else’s body, Lucifer is still terrifying.

Satan glances over in disdain. “That stupid glare and tone of voice don’t suit me at all. Maybe you should loosen up a bit while you’re in my body.”

Lucifer crosses his arms, unamused by Satan’s commentary.

“Let’s leave. We still have much to discuss...now.”

Satan rolls his eyes, a deep sigh escaping his lips. “Fine.”

The dining room settles into a heavy silence, everyone watching as both demons stand from the table and move towards the exit. They begin fighting in the hall, the muted argument unable to conceal the annoyance in their voices.

Once they’re finally out of earshot, Mammon, Beel, Asmo and Levi swing their heads to look at you. Levi begins typing furiously on his phone, no doubt already making a post about it.

“Can we go back to eating now?” Beel asks, already stuffing his face with roasted bat. His voice is muffled by his full mouth.

You stare down at your plate, your food hardly touched. You push it towards Beel, knowing he’ll gladly eat the leftovers. You stand up and push your chair in, everyone’s eyes darting towards you.

“Goodnight, everyone,” you declare, moving towards the exit.

“You’re leavin’ already, Y/N?” Mammon asks, grabbing your arm. “Okay, I’ll walk ya to your room.”

“Wait for me! I’ll come too.” Asmo pushes his chair in and rushes to follow you out of the room.

You square your shoulders, fighting to hide your visible annoyance. It’s been nothing but insane circumstance after circumstance since you’ve been summoned to the Devildom, and you wonder when you’ll ever be able to get a break.

Well, at least it’s not boring, you muse.

You walk through the House of Lamentation towards your bedroom, Asmo and Mammon trailing you and chattering happily. Your cheerful trio - well, let’s be honest, only two of you are actually feeling cheerful - finally reaches the door, and you brace yourself for what you might find inside as you place your hand on the knob, turning it slowly.

The door creaks open and you step inside cautiously, feeling relieved to find everything in its proper place, untouched by Satan’s wrath. The only things inside the room that are certainly out of place are Lucifer and Satan themselves. Satan’s body, currently occupied by Lucifer, sits at your desk, studying a book so intensely, like it’s the most interesting book in the entire Devildom. Lucifer’s body, occupied by Satan, is perched on your bed, glowering at the floor.

You actually can’t help but giggle, unable to control yourself. The absurdity of the situation actually  is  pretty funny.

Mammon laughs with you, clapping a hand on your arm. “I’ve never seen Lucifer so reserved before...this is freakin’ awesome!” he exclaims, walking towards the desk where Lucifer is sitting.

Asmo sits down next to Satan on the bed, placing a hand on his shoulder and smiling.

Lucifer turns around, finally moving his eyes from the book. His fierce stare lands on Mammon, studying him as he moves closer to where he’s sitting.

“I just realized something,” Mammon continues, completely oblivious to the tension in the room. “Since Lucifer’s in Satan’s body and all...you’re not nearly as strong as you are in your own body. I’m the stronger one. How’s that feel? Ha!”

“I understand why Y/N is here, as this is her bedroom,” the Avatar of Pride says cooly, ignoring Mammon, “but why are Mammon and Asmodeus  also here?”

“I, uh, well, I...I wanted to make sure Y/N got back to her room safely and everything,” stammers Mammon, blushing.

“Out. Now.”

Mammon holds his hands up, backing away. “Okay, okay. You got it.”

Lucifer follows Asmo and Mammon to the door. Mammon stands in the doorway, casting a quick glance at you before Lucifer shuts it, pointing in your direction.

“Oi! You two better not hurt Y/N, or think that you can get all snuggly with her just cause you’re in her room! If I see you moved one tiny hair on her body I’m gonna-”

Mammon’s voice is cut off by the door slamming loudly in his face, followed by a yelp and a curse.

Lucifer turns around slowly. He crosses the room to where you’re standing on the other side. He places his arm on his chest, bowing his head slightly.

“Y/N, I apologize for the inconvenience. The spell should be reversed within a few days. Rest assured that I am hugely indebted to you, and will pay you back tenfold,” Lucifer tells you. “Satan, as well.”

“You’re the one that got us into this mess,” retorts Satan. “Paying her back is all your responsibility.”

“Maybe, if you were able to properly control yourself and not give in to your  wrath -”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have had to unleash my wrath if you didn’t interrupt!”

“Satan, you were-”

For fuck’s sake.

“Okay, I’m going to take a shower and get changed in the bathroom. When I come out, I’d like some peace and quiet,” you declare over the din of their argument. 

Neither demon acknowledges you. You roll your eyes, sigh, and retreat into the bathroom, relishing the sound of the shower turning on that drowns out everything else.

You step into the shower, letting the scalding water pour over you. You lather your favorite lavender-scented shampoo into your hair, breathing in the relaxing scent. You know this will be a scarce moment of peace, so you try to enjoy it as long as possible...because as soon as you step back out into the room, you’ll no doubt have to mediate.

Throwing on your comfy t-shirt and sleeping shorts, you dry your hair with a towel. It hangs in loose, dark waves down your back. You put some product in it and, with a heavy sigh, open the bathroom door and step out into the room.

The scene in front of you nearly knocks you onto the floor again. You clap your hand over your mouth and grab the bathroom door frame to hold yourself up, trying to prevent your jaw from falling to the ground.

“Please!” Lucifer laughs, pointing at the younger demon currently possessing his former body. “I am  exceptionally  better-looking, and more muscular too. Maybe if you put more care into your appearance-”

“You must be on something if you think that way, Luci,” Satan bites back. “Look at me. The succubi  love  my beautiful blonde hair and green eyes. And my body is just as nice as yours, actually...I’m  much more attractive.”

Both demons are half-naked, shirts and jackets discarded onto your floor. The two of them are standing around your room, inspecting each other’s appearance. You can’t help your eyes from dropping down to gaze at the well-defined, taut muscles of their chests and abdomens. Each one sports an impressively long torso and six-pack. Their pants hang  dangerously  low on their hips, the tantalizing v-lines drawing your eyes lower, lower…

With impeccable timing, the two demons turn towards the bathroom, finally noticing you nearly hyperventilating in the doorway.

“Y/N!” Satan and Lucifer shout at the same time.

“Perfect timing!” muses Lucifer. “You can decide for us.”

“Who’s the more attractive demon? Obviously it’s me...in my usual body, not in  Lucifer’s of course,” Satan chimes in.

You remove your hand from your mouth and lean against the doorway, trying to steady your breathing.

Do they really have to ask me that right now?

“U-um, well...I-I...you’re both very attractive,” you stammer. 

Your face can’t hide your embarrassment any longer, and suddenly you feel like it’s on fire. You can feel the furious crimson blush blazing across.

Lucifer laughs. “Ha! Surely you would favor one of us over the other. There’s no need to be so kind. Tell us the truth.”

“W-well, it's hard to make an objective decision when you’re both shirtless and assaulting my senses all at the same time.”

“Shall we put our clothes back on then, hm?” Lucifer asks you, raising an eyebrow.

“No!” you exclaim. “I-I mean...you can if you want to…”

“You’re too intimidating, Lucifer,” Satan chimes in, sitting back on the bed. “She clearly thinks it’s me, but is too scared of your reaction if she said so.”

“Right now, I’m mostly thinking about how I’m going to be able to sleep peacefully with two constantly fighting demon brothers who accidentally switched bodies,” you quip, gaining some of your composure back.

Again, neither demon acknowledges you, instead continuing to bicker endlessly. You sigh in defeat, reaching for the water bottle on your desk. You sip the cool liquid and watch the demons continue their ridiculous arguments, exasperated.

“I’ll do you one better, Luci.” Satan spits the nickname, as though it’s a disgusting taste in his mouth. “I can  totally  outperform you in bed, even in your own body.”

You splutter and cough furiously upon hearing that, choking on the water. The liquid spills out onto your shirt as you struggle. Satan and Lucifer don’t even turn their heads in your direction.

“How naive,” retorts Lucifer, shaking his head. “Lest you forget, I’m the oldest. I have the most experience.”

“You’re too uptight. And your head is so far up Diavolo’s ass, you’ve probably forgotten how to fuck. Unless you do it with-”

“That’s enough,” booms Lucifer. “I can charm anyone I choose. I just have more important things to focus on lately,” he adds, with a pointed look.

“Ha! I’d like to see that,” laughs Satan

Instead of dignifying his brother with a response, Lucifer turns his eyes towards you, studying you carefully. You feel yourself shrink a bit in the burn of his gaze. The intensity is so severe, it feels as though he’s a predator, and you’re the prey he’s ready to ambush.

“Y/N.” He says your name gently, the tender note in his voice bizarrely mismatched with the fire in his eyes.

You swallow, nervous to answer.

“...Yes?”

“Come here.”

You walk over slowly, unsure of what he wants. Satan watches you carefully from his perch on the bed, equally as curious.

You approach Lucifer, standing directly in front of him. He is handsome, equally as handsome as Satan, but their majesty is different. 

Whereas Lucifer is more of dominating beauty, with searing red eyes, Satan’s emerald green eyes, flecked with gold and turquoise, shine beautifully. You stare into them, mesmerized. His blonde hair falls messily into his eyes, tempting you to reach up and brush the strands away so you can fall in deeper. It’s easy to forget that Lucifer is actually inside Satan’s body right now.

Suddenly, Lucifer reaches a hand out, lightly touching your face. His hand slowly trails down over your jaw, down the curve of your neck. His velvety touch traces the dainty skin of your collarbone, dancing ever lower, lower...stopping right above your breast. You feel your breath hitch. Goosebumps dart across your skin, betraying your calm demeanor. Your heart flutters in your chest.

“You’re a good girl, aren’t you, Y/N?” Lucifer murmurs, his voice dripping with honey. He moves his hand back up to your face, repeating the gentle strokes over and over again.

You don’t answer. Your mouth feels glued shut, and your feet are anchored to the floor. Giving in to the desire, you feel an insatiable need stirring within. The blood buzzes loudly in your ears, and the room suddenly feels as though it just got ten degrees warmer.

“Okay, I take it back. I guess you are kind of charming,” Satan chuckles. “Then again, you’re in my body, so it’s pretty much effortless.”

His voice slams you back to reality. You suddenly realized that sexy maneuver was just a performance, to prove a point to his brother. You shake your head, completely embarrassed at yourself for being so naive. 

But I wanted it...I wanted it so badly.

“Oh? Disappointed, are you? Thinking it’s just for show?” you hear Lucifer coo, placing his hand under your chin. He tilts your head gently, forcing your eyes to meet with the beautiful emerald gaze of his own. 

The arousal coursing through your veins nearly leaves you breathless. You can feel your legs shaking a bit, and you steady, trying to compose yourself.

“It doesn’t have to be, darling,” Lucifer continues, leaning in closer. Your heart races, as though he’s behind the wheel and revving the engine.

This time, his hand reaches out to touch your face. He caresses your lips with his thumb, gentle strokes over the soft skin. You’re helpless to stop the pleasure igniting between your legs, completely turned on. Your nipples harden, barely covered beneath the thin material of your sleeping shirt. You silently curse yourself at how easily you let yourself fall into this.

You step back, refusing to let him see you sweat. Your legs feel like jelly. You’re frustrated that he wants to play this game with you just to prove a point to the real Satan.

Lucifer chuckles, looking you up and down. “You’re only hurting yourself by denying it, my love,” he says. His gaze settles on your chest. 

“You can fool yourself, but your body betrays you. This turns you on.”

You look down at your breasts. Sure enough, your nipples are practically poking through the flimsy material of your t-shirt.

Lucifer steps towards you again. At the same time, you feel Satan at your back, running his hands up and down your arms. You shiver as more goosebumps flare across your skin.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Lucifer asks, visibly annoyed.

“I’m going to prove my point to you. I can fuck better than you can in your own body,” Satan replies matter-of-factly.

Lucifer laughs out loud, hand on his chest. “You really believe that, do you? I accept your challenge. We shall let Y/N be the one who determines.”

Wait, what? 

You open your mouth to protest, but close it just as quickly. A shiver of pleasure shudders through you at the thought of being fucked by not only one, but two attractive demons. The dark desire you feel causes you to grow ever wetter with the anticipation, your arousal soaking into the fabric of your shorts.

Noting your silent approval, Lucifer chuckles softly. He presses himself into you.

“Don’t be afraid, my love,” he coos, drawing ever closer. 

Before you can react, he crushes his mouth against yours. You bite his lip, and he takes your cue to open his mouth slightly. You meet your tongue with his, rolling them over each other.

Satan places a hand just under the hem of your shirt, fingers lightly grazing the bare skin. He leans in from behind, lips brushing your ear. He nips at the lobe gently, pushing your hair to the side. Your neck bare, he moves his lips down the curve of it, kissing it and sucking the skin into his mouth.

Satan’s lips leave you as he slips his other hand under your shirt. His fingers delicately trace the curves of your hips, then dance up your waist. Each touch ignites a spark on your skin, your nerve endings on high sensitivity. His hands slowly move to your front, coming together on your abdomen.

They glide farther up, sliding gracefully over your bare breasts. He’s delighted to find you’re not wearing a bra, cupping the soft mounds. He rolls the delicate buds of your nipples between his thumb and index finger. The pleasure shoots straight down between your legs. Your clit is throbbing as you feel the hardened bulge at the front of his pants pressed into your ass.

You moan into Lucifer’s mouth, unable to control yourself. He bites your lip one last time before pulling away, a cocky grin forming on his handsome face. You can feel his cock straining against the constricting fabric of his slacks in front.

“Mm, why is Satan getting all the spotlight?” Lucifer murmurs.

While Satan continues to massage your breasts, Lucifer moves his hand to your inner thigh. You inhale sharply as his fingers dance up and down the delicate skin, caressing it, moving closer and closer to where you want him to be. His fingers hook underneath your shorts, and you gasp.

Burying his face into your neck, kissing and nipping at the skin as Satan had not long before, Lucifer slides his fingers between your drenched folds. They glide up and down with ease, your arousal practically dripping down your legs.

You whimper as your clit continues to throb, aching to be touched. Relishing in your clear desperation, Lucifer pulls his fingers away, and the sudden absence of them feels like a hunger pang growing with intensity. After some torturous seconds, he finally obliges, slipping his fingers back in. His middle finger massages the swollen bud. This time, the sound that escapes you is so lewd, you surprise even yourself.

“Ahhh...Lucifer…” you mewl, “please don’t stop…”

The assault on your most sensitive nerve endings is almost too much. Your legs begin to shake. You lean back into Satan and raise an arm up, hooking it around his neck and pulling his head down to meet yours. Your tongues dance together as both demons continue their tortuous, yet delicious, onslaught of your senses.

As though in sync, both demons pull away at the same time. Lucifer steps back, studying you again with his burning stare raking up and down your body. His eyes are glassy, desire flooding his gaze. His lips part, as though to say something, but suddenly they close, taking in the sight of you. Satan does the same. Their stares are predatory, but you welcome the feeling. 

You stand between them, chest rising and falling rapidly. Your hair is mussed, falling over one shoulder and spilling across your back; your eyes are half-closed, glazed over with lust.

Lucifer meets your eyes, then issues you a command.

“Take off your clothes.”

You nod obediently. You lift your shirt over your head, your bare breasts spilling out. You roll your shorts down your hips, discarding the clothes on the floor. Feeling suddenly vulnerable at your now fully-exposed state, you falter, reaching your hands up to cover your breasts.

“Don’t be bashful now,” murmurs Lucifer, running his tongue over his lips. “You were begging me to touch you not that long ago.”

“We’ll take care of you,” Satan purrs in response, running his hands up and down the curves of your waist.

“I want you on your bed,” Lucifer directs you, pointing towards it.

Again, you obey without hesitation. You lay on your back, turning your head to the side as both demons approach you, the same hungered look in their eyes.

“Now, now,” chides Lucifer. “We can’t see your pretty sight with your legs stuck together like that, can we?” 

Satan nods in agreement, a grin creeping onto his face. 

“Let’s get her on all fours,” he suggests, his smile wicked with sadistic desire.

You roll onto your stomach, positioning yourself as he says. Your back is straight, rigid. You keep your legs pressed together, feeling hesitant.

“Good girl. Arch your back,” he continues. “Let us see how turned on you are.”

Bending your arms at the elbows, you arch your back, your body moving in a fluid motion. Your hands fold together under your pillow, and you rest your head on the soft cushion. There’s no hiding anything in this position, and you know it well. The delicate pink skin of your pussy is in full view for Satan and Lucifer, lips shiny and coated in your abundant fluid arousal.

The bed creaks softly as Lucifer climbs behind you, placing his hands on the supple skin of your ass and squeezing it.

“What a beautiful sight you are like this...isn’t she, Satan?” Lucifer murmurs from behind you. Satan inhales sharply as he watches you hungrily, silently agreeing with his brother. 

Lucifer squeezes your ass again. “I want to see every inch of you,” he murmurs. Suddenly, his hands still grabbing either cheek, he spreads you open even further. His breath hitches. 

You whimper, your confidence wavering at the fact that he’s exposing your most private areas. Simultaneously, you feel so turned on, you almost can’t take it anymore.

You’ll do just about anything at this point to feel the stretch of a cock between your walls, and your pussy clenches in the anticipation.

Lucifer leans forward, teeth sinking into the flesh of your left cheek. Suddenly, his tongue grazes you between your folds from behind. He relishes the sweet taste of your juices generously coating his tongue as he moves it from front to back. He travels back further, further...your eyes widen in surprise as his tongue flicks up and down the sensitive space between your ass cheeks. You gasp, then moan, your arousal skyrocketing.

Satan’s voice sharply cuts through your bliss, causing Lucifer to move back in surprise. 

“How come you get to have all the fun, Lucifer?” he complains. He strides over to the bed, grabbing one of your arms. “I got her into that position. It’s my turn now.”

Bemused, you turn your head to the side, glancing at him. His piercing crimson gaze of the face he now wears bores into you, a stark contrast to his usual calming, beautiful jewel-toned eyes. Still holding your arm, Satan tugs at it gently. 

“Sit up, Y/N,” he orders. 

You lift yourself up steadily and sit up with your legs still spread, resting your back against Lucifer. As you do so, Satan climbs onto the bed. He lays down, head resting on the pillow, bending his legs underneath yours. Lucifer rises, giving the younger demon more room. He cocks an eyebrow, an amused expression tugging at his features. 

Just when you’re trying to figure out what Satan wants from you, he grabs your hips, propelling you forward. You yelp in surprise. You’re seated on his bare chest, your womanhood mere inches from his own face. As he tugs at your hips, silently guiding you closer to him, you realize that’s exactly what he wants. You gently move forward on your knees until his head is between your thighs, spreading them further until his mouth reaches you.

His tongue slides between your sensitive folds, and you reach out, hands gripping the wooden headboard for support. Satan’s hands rest against your inner thighs, caressing the skin gently. He laps up your wetness, tasting the sweet nectar of your juices that coat the fleshy pink skin of your pussy. You move your hips up and down, grinding them against his tongue as you alternate the levels of your sensation. His tongue flicks at your swollen nub, eliciting another lewd moan to tear from your throat.

“A-Ah!” you cry out. You’ve never been eaten out like this before. You’re so turned on, you can feel the pressure building as the fire begins to pool low in your belly.

“Ride my face until you’re dripping, Y/N,” Satan murmurs. 

He lightly nibbles the soft flesh of your thigh, peppering gentle kisses as his lips make their way back between your legs, his tongue rightfully resuming its cadence of getting you off.

Behind you, Lucifer chuckles. “Actually, that’s my face you’re riding, my love.”

He presses up against your back, his still-clothed erection poking at your ass. His lips find purchase on your neck, kissing it. He places his hands on the soft mounds of your breasts, drawing out a whimper from your lips as you shiver in delight.

Lifting your arm, Lucifer ducks his head underneath. Your arm now resting across his shoulders, his head is level with your bosom. He tongues your nipple, nipping and sucking it gently into his mouth. Yet again, the onslaught of all the different stimulation is almost too much to handle. A few seconds later, you feel your climax ignite, blazing a trail of fire through your veins.

You mutter a string of curses as your head rolls back in ecstasy, riding out the luscious waves of electricity pulsating from between your hips all the way up into your chest. Your heart pumps faster, faster, sending sparks all over your body. Satan continues to flick your clit with his tongue as you come undone on top of him, prolonging your bliss several beautiful seconds longer. 

Your orgasm now reduced to a waning ember, you move back, legs straddling Satan’s thighs. His erection prods at you between your legs, though his black slacks still remain on. A carnal desire for the length of his cock to fill you flows through you as you unbutton them. He watches you carefully, raw lust blazing through his crimson eyes. His lips are shiny, covered in a sheen of the fluid evidence of your release. A few seconds later, Satan’s fully-erect cock springs out. You run your tongue over your lips at the sight of it. 

“Well, Lucifer,” Satan breathes, his voice low. “Looks like I’ve already outperformed you. You might as well give up now, and just watch me fuck her until she falls apart.”

Desperate for the much-needed stretch of his length sheathed inside you, you barely pay any mind to Satan’s assertion. Your hand reaches out to grasp his cock, hunger and lust burning ever brighter…

Just as abruptly, you’re pulled backwards into Lucifer’s tight embrace, pinning your arms to your chest. You whimper, visibly annoyed that he’s preventing you from getting what you so desperately want...no, need...right now.

“Don’t be so naive, Satan. I let you get her off first, so that when I fuck her, she can feel the difference between you and I when she cums,” Lucifer laughs.

“Look at her. She wants my cock so badly she practically ripped my pants off to get to it. You’re holding her back.”

Still unable to move, Lucifer runs a hand tenderly along your waist. 

“You took her from me to have your fun. Y/N is a good girl and knows she needs to be shared equally between us...right, my darling?”

“Y-yes,” you respond obediently. 

Lucifer kisses the top of your head, then lets go of you. You fall slightly forward. Satan reaches his hands up to your shoulders and pulls you down gently towards him, lips meeting yours in a fervent kiss as you taste your own arousal.

Behind you, the sound of Lucifer’s zipper coming undone makes your eyes widen with excitement. With his ample length pressing against you, you arch your back and grind your hips onto him. He moans, massaging your ass. The head of his cock presses against your entrance, and you ready yourself to push back into him. Your fingers grip the sheets…

All of a sudden Satan, noticing what’s about to happen, tugs your hips forward. You break off the kiss, biting back a scream of exasperation. Your frustration at the two demons constantly vying for dominance irritates the hell out of you when all you want is the much-needed pleasure of a cock stuffed inside of you.

“I’m the oldest, so I get to fuck her first,” Satan declares.

“Wrong,” Lucifer counters, aggravation creeping into his voice. “I’m Lucifer, not you. You happen to be temporarily occupying my body. Therefore, I’ll be fucking Y/N first.”

“Technically, your body is older, yes? Then I win,” Satan laughs.

Before you can even react, Satan pulls your hips upward, angling his cock underneath you so that it rests against your entrance. Wet and extraordinarily frantic for either one of their cocks at this point, you find yourself unable to resist any longer. Your hips roll over him, crying out in ecstasy as his generous length and girth fill you completely. The glorious stretch of his cock between your walls overrides all your other senses.

“A-Ah! Mmmm...”

You lean back, hands resting on his thighs to help you balance. Lifting your hips, you maneuver your body up and down in a hypnotic rhythm. Satan thrusts harder into you, matching your tempo as the lewd sound of skin clashing against skin permeates the room. The way you’re leaned back allows him to see everything, and the sight of his cock disappearing within your walls alone is almost enough to make him come undone.

In your elation, it’s easy to forget that Lucifer is still behind you, furious that the younger demon defied him. Refusing to let himself be outwitted any longer, his right hand reaches out to grip your breast, drawing out a surprised, ragged breath. His other hand reaches down between your legs. 

As you continue to ride Satan’s cock in an intoxicating harmony, Lucifer’s middle finger finds your pink, swollen clit with ease. Still recovering from your release not so long ago, the bud is hypersensitive, and the slightest touch from Satan evokes a loud, mewling cry from your lips. 

Almost instantaneously, you shatter, reaching your peak. The orgasm shudders through you, your back arching as you ride out the delectable waves of pleasure. Your nails dig scarlet crescent-shaped moons into Satan’s thighs.

Satan continues slamming into you, your walls clenching around his cock even more as he watches you cum. He hisses, knowing he can’t take much more of this, the tightened grip of your pussy threatening to do him in sooner than he’d like.

Several thrusts later, Satan bites back a moan, finally releasing and filling you with his seed. Breathless, you lift yourself off of him, nearly collapsing onto Satan behind you.

“Fuck, Lucifer,” rasps Satan, breathing heavily as he lifts himself off the bed. “You had to interrupt, didn’t you?”

“Don’t defy me, and I wouldn’t have to,” Lucifer chides, his voice brimming with venom.

“I’m shocked you didn’t cream your pants when you did that, seeing as you love getting off on punishing us-”

“That’s enough.”

You stand, though your legs are shaking. You can feel your own arousal fluid, mixed with Satan’s seed, leaking out onto your thigh.

Shit, and you’re still not done yet . You’re not sure how much more of this you can take.

Lucifer turns to you. Your eyes are glazed over with lust, the swell of your ample breasts bouncing with every movement, your hair messy and falling over one shoulder in shiny, dark rivulets. Your body is peppered with tiny red love bites.

A grin creeps onto his face.  It’s his turn now . He stands next to you, fingers splaying across your back possessively.

“My darling, Y/N,” Lucifer coos, reaching up to stroke your hair. “I know you were too obedient to tell Satan no when he fucked you. You’re a good girl. You know I was supposed to fuck you first...right?”

“Y-yes, of course,” you answer.

“Good…” Lucifer continues stroking your hair. “Now, be a  very  good girl and get back on the bed on all fours. Just like before. Let me see every inch of that beautiful pussy that I’m going to make my own…”

Satan chortles, watching the older demon command you in his previous body with morbid curiosity. 

“This should be good,” he murmurs to himself, perching himself on your desk to watch from afar.

You follow Lucifer’s command, positioning yourself just as you had earlier, back arched to the Celestial Realm. His breath hitches as he takes in the sight of your fucked-out pussy, now a slightly deepened pink from all the pounding. Satan’s cum, mixed with your own fluids, drips out of your hole.

“That’s my girl,” Lucifer praises you, languidly running his fingers along the curve of your spine. The sensation elicits a shudder from your body. You feel him climbing onto the bed, positioning himself behind you.

“I’m sorry, my darling...I have to punish you for the way you moaned and looked like a happy little slut riding his cock when you were supposed to be getting fucked by mine,” Lucifer purrs.

Without warning, Lucifer’s hand comes down on your ass, the  smack  reverberating throughout the room. You hiss, the pain stinging your cheek. His hand cracks down on you again. You hold back a cry, burying your head into the pillow. The ache is uncomfortable, though not completely unbearable...nor is it unwanted.

“I’m sorry, Lucifer,” you mewl, hoping he’ll punish you further. He obliges with one final smack on your other cheek. Your cry is carnal, wanton; the sinful pleasure of the pain mixing with arousal fanning the flames of your desire.

He spreads you, eyeing his blazing red handprints etched onto your skin with delight, and leans forward. His cock prods your entrance. Without warning, he thrusts into you, and you whine at the sudden intrusion. His length fully sheathed in the wet heat of your pussy, he groans, balancing himself on your hips. You attempt to match his chaotic thrusting rhythm, pushing yourself back onto him, but he moves so fast and so hard, it’s difficult.

“Mph!”

One hand resting on your ass, Lucifer reaches his other hand out, grasping the length of your hair and twisting it, weaving it between his fingers. He suddenly tugs on the long tresses, yanking your head back. You gasp in shock as you make direct eye contact with Satan, still perched on your desk, a smirk forming on his face.

“Don’t break her neck, Luci,” Satan quips, still bitter that his fuck got cut short.

Ignoring him, Lucifer leans forward, hot breath tickling your ear. 

“You’re such a good girl, Y/N...such a good, obedient girl,” he coos. “I now know why Diavolo picked you. You’re so docile, so compliant...my darling.”

Fingers tightly woven into your hair, Lucifer continues his almost frenzied strokes. His cock slams into your g-spot, and he can feel your pussy tightening around him in anticipation of another sweet release. He curses, pulling his cock out, releasing his fingers from your hair. Your head drops forward and you whine, the decrescendo of your orgasm ebbing slowly.

“Lay on your back,” Lucifer instructs.

You comply, lying supine as your eyes flit up towards the ceiling.

“Look at me.”

You look down to meet his gaze, the beautiful emerald orbs flecked with pools of gold staring directly into yours. His hands on your knees, he pushes them apart, spreading your legs. You drop your gaze down, breaking eye contact to watch him.

“Keep your eyes on me,” he commands. There’s a heavy implication in his words, one that screams don’t disobey me. 

You nod slowly, eyes holding steady in his fervent gaze. He thrusts into you again, relishing your cry of ecstasy. He bites his lip, watching your breasts bounce with his fevered movements, the light sheen of sweat on your skin glimmering in the hazy lights of the room.

Lucifer leans forward, your ankles resting by his shoulders, fingers gripping the sheets as he slams into you, this time at a slower cadence. He continues his incline, your knees practically pressed to your chest. The heightened angle allows him to slam into you deeper, magnifying both his and your pleasure exponentially.

Eyebrows knit tightly, his own release drawing near, Lucifer pulls back a bit, pausing his rhythm. His hand reaches out, tracing delicate lines across your breast, dancing upwards until it reaches your neck.

His fingers lightly grip your throat, and your eyes widen in shock. You’ve never been choked while fucked before, but are certainly intrigued.

“Relax, my darling...I won’t hurt you,” Lucifer says, trying to control his breathing. He continues his stroke, cock plunging in and out of your pussy, completely lubricated with your arousal.

The feeling of his fingers wrapped around your neck as he fucks your tight pussy sends a shudder of pleasure through him. He swallows, on the verge of losing control; but, for your sake, he regains his composure, not wanting to hurt you  too badly the first time he chokes you while he dominates you.

After all, he knows he’s clearly won this competition. He wants to do this to you again...in his own body, of course.

Your release follows quickly after, shattering you through your core. You can barely handle all the stimulation, having had cum twice before already. Your skull slams backwards into the pillow, your vision briefly fading to black. Your body jerks forward, then goes still, your breathing labored as your chest rises and falls rapidly.

Hand still grasping your throat, Lucifer slams into you one final time, filling you with his bitter seed as he groans in ecstasy. He removes himself from you as Satan crosses the room, both demons examining your exhausted form sprawled out on the bed. Your legs are still spread, the abundant white fluid of both demons’ releases dribbling out of you and pooling onto the silk sheets.

“I have to admit, I look pretty damn good when I’m fucking...thanks, Luci,” Satan laughs. Lucifer shakes his head, though a smile plays on his lips.

The two demons help you up off the bed. You stumble, your legs quivering as you recover from the incessant pounding you just took, starting to feel sore between your legs. Lucifer and Satan stroke your hair gently, holding you up as you put your sleeping clothes back on.

“Well, Y/N...what’s the verdict?” Satan challenges you. “Not that I need to ask, since it’s obviously me…”

“Both. It’s both of you,” you answer with a sigh. “Now...can we please go to bed? I’m exhausted.”

Walking back into your bathroom, you glance at your mirror in the reflection. It is not kind to you, showing every puckered red love bite peppered across your skin and wild, mussed hair. Wincing, you turn towards the demon brothers responsible for all the damage and collapse onto your bed, exhaustion overtaking all other emotion.

“I don’t think I have enough concealer to cover all this. You guys are going to have a lot of explaining to do,” you say as your voice tapers off, drifting into the dark abyss of slumber.

“Don’t worry, my darling, we’ll take care of it,” Lucifer laughs, stroking your hair until you fall asleep, chest rising and falling gently.

“I totally won, just so you know,” Satan quips.

“Ha! Still so ignorant,” retorts Lucifer. “You forgot? I made her cum twice-”

“Because you interrupted me-”

You’re pretty sure you can hear their never-ending argument in your dreams, unable to escape even in your own sleep.

[etherealluminescence]

the brothers + the former undateables finding out buff cat has kittens that are visiting devildom, but unfortunately buff kittens are extremely chaotic little shits, mc + diavolo + barbatos + simeon + satan doesn't believe anyone when they say "I'm convinced they're pure evil and they bite" "no they baby"

buff cat Buff Cat BUFF CAT BUFFCATBUFFCA-

I was really excited to write this. I LOVE Buff Cat. This is just making me grin while thinking of writing it. Aaaaa I mean I couldn’t just not draw it either,, aha? ;)

This also works for Belphie and Luke, but I think Mammon sees the most of the cats because he likes MC and visits them, but is TERRIFIED. More buff cat memes at the bottom. Also warning very long.

Brothers and New Datables reaction to Buff Cat’s kittens!

Lucifer

As soon as MC left the kittens and him alone, chaos ensued. Within minutes, one of the kittens successful spat out a hairball on him, and another was about to break his desk. The third was on his bookshelf, biting the spine of his books.

He didn’t want to raise his voice at kittens, but he swore they were trying to antagonise him on purpose. Normal kittens do not act like this.

As soon as he caught one coating his paperwork in their saliva, he began to shout. This only backfired, as they truly did plan to beat the shit out of him.

He knew he couldn’t retaliate, or MC would be mad, and so would Diavolo. Also, he’s pretty sure that their dad would beat him up.

The kittens clawed up his shirt, broke his desk, ruined his paperwork, books, pens, and made him bleed. He tried his very best to put them in corners without hurting them, but they acted as though they were high on katnip and are professional murderers.

Needless to say, as soon as MC returned he was breathless and a mess. MC didn’t even notice, and told him thanks for playing with the kittens!! He was about to tell MC to keep their kittens on a leash when MC just said they’re so energetic at this age.

Energetic?? You mean that’s ENERGETIC? Not MURDEROUS INTENT?

Never wants to be near another buff kitten. What on earth happens during their adulthood that changes them from a chaotic shit to this otherworldly entity.

Mammon

Mammon was screeching for hours. Literally screaming they were out for his flesh, and can smell his fear.

They bit his ankles and even with the blood seeping from it, neither you or Satan believed the buff kittens did it.

You both laughed it off as him getting hurt, and went to take care of the kittens.

He swears they’re trying to kill him and sacrifice his very soul.

Also he’s never stealing from Diavolo again after they started staying there, and even began protecting the place.

Leviathan

He was fine with Buff Cat, so why not the kittens? They looked so well behaved like MC, so why not offer to look after them for a little bit, while everyone was at school? He doesn’t go in person so he doesn’t mind.

Ah what a big mistake that was.

These kittens are trying to break into his aquarium; quite literally. They just attempted to headbutt the glass and made running starts repeatedly, hoping it would crack.

As soon as he got them to stop doing that, they began to knaw at his wires, which he had to stop. When he got a headcount, there were only two, so where was the third?

SHIT! HIS RURI CHAN FIGURINES!

The third one was now biting off one of his limited addition Ruri chan’s arms, and Levi was getting pissed. He wasn’t sure what he’d tell MC, but he was ready to kick them out of his room.

He remembered buff cat, his good buddy, and tried to just watch over them a little longer. They were his kids, so he could just do him one favour.

Levi was screaming in regret when all his manga was ripped to shreds. All. Of. It. Nothing was spared, and Levi was ready to kick them out for real.

Until MC and Buff cat came in to take the kittens. Levi was going to scream out his frustrations, but just as he said “your”, a kitten bit his ankle causing him to silently scream and fall to the ground.

Concerned, you both ran up to him and tried to help him up, wondering what happened. One kitten however, walked behind you and put a paw to his neck and sliced. Afterwards, he did the I’m watching you motion.

Scared enough to almost piss his pants, Levi kept his mouth shut on the experience he had today, and probably tommorrow. After all, since it went so well he wouldn’t mind watching them this week while everyone attended classes, right?

Satan

Wherearethebabieswherewherewhere

He was so excited, and constantly babied them. He had all the cat toys, the best cat food, and became a sort of servant for them.

With just a meow or point he’d be off to get them whatever they wanted. Even if they bit his books or stole his clothes, he’d just go aweee!! They’re learning how to use their bodies as they grow.

Originally opposed to Diavolo keeping them, as he wanted them, but the royals was a much better choice for three growing kittens.

Constantly showers them with affection and tries to baby talk them. It sounds kind of creepy.

When his brothers try to bully or blame the kittens for something the kittens obviously did, he lectures and berates them on cat development and why they shouldn’t hurt their feelings.

Asmodeous

Screaming out of fear and anger. Asmo found the three kittens in the mess of his clothes in his room.

They were all ripping and shredding at his clothes, and when they noticed him proceeded to bite and scratch as his hair, attempting to rip it out.

He was screaming like he was being murdered, and running around the room for five minutes. Every time he tried to exit, one would block the door.

Sensing that their MC was coming, the three behaved and snuggled up to him, meowing and purring as if they were content.

When MC entered, they noticed the scene before them and smiled!! How cute!! The kittens were snuggling against Asmo.

Asmo was shrieking and explaining to you what had happened, and your kittens pretended to act asleep.

Upset by him framing them, you gave him an earful that if he ripped up his own clothes on accident, he shouldn’t blame the kittens!

To think Asmo was so irresponsible.

Beelzebub

He figured since Buff cat worked out, and these were his children, who were absolutely buff, they’d work out too right?

Oh yeah. They worked out how to absolutely destroy the entire gym in a matter of minutes.

They aggressively beat up every gym go-er and threw dumbbells everywhere. They wrecked the treadmills and other machines, and bit off the wires for the electrical side.

Within minutes, Beel and the kittens were kicked to the curve, and banned for life. The injured staff and people were taken care of by Lucifer’s credit card. He 100% believed the buff cats did it, but neither you or Satan did.

It was kind of frustrating how you taught demons randomly burst into pain or that possibly Beel did it, but he understood you wanted to protect the kittens.

He understood they were still young and energetic, so they weren’t as peaceful. He’s aware they’re chaotic and will not deny it, but he still takes care of them as occasionally let’s them teeth on his fingers, so they can grow strong, since he knows they’re just playing.

Belphegor

no No NO.

He does not want to be near the buff kittens. He’s barely able to approach Buff Cat, but buff kittens? No way.

These buff kittens terrify him more than buff cat, and that’s saying something. There are three chaotic pieces of shits running around, biting ankles and trying to claw at everything.

He runs to the attic, unless the buff kittens are there. If they are, he runs off into the unknown.

Diavolo

He was the one who approved of them visiting. As soon as he heard buff cat actually had kittens, he wanted to meet them. With Barbatos agreeing, Lucifer lost the battle.

Was so happy to have them. Had Barbatos prepare everything, and even spent a whole lot of money on jewelled collars and adorable outfits!

He let them have the best milk in devildom, and even allowed them to rest in his room during their stay. It was even better because Diavolo was recently asking Satan for cat recommendations, as he felt like having a cat to pet while working would be nice.

This is based off a chat. ^^.

You all, the five, agree that it’d be a fun idea for them to stay in the devildom, and they’d be close to buff cat too, it’s a win win. They could stay with the royals, while HOL has Buff Cat. Simeon couldn’t take any since Luke was terrified.

Diavolo 100% babied them, even more than you. Some say he looks big and a bit scarily buff, but he now posts on his devilgram pictures of him and the kittens, which has actually helped his approachable image.

Cat papi.

Barbatos

He was on board with the idea of meeting new baby buff cats. He does pretty well with kids, and wouldn’t mind seeing the babies of such a sophisticated cat.

He was delightedly when MC handed them to him, and told him they’d be gone for a bit. He properly fed them, changed their clothes, pet them, give them attention, and even told them stories of MC.

The kittens were constantly entertained, and purred in delight every time he approached them. They seemed patient and cute, but according to the other staff they were worse than actual demons.

Apparently they were the ones who broke the stuff in the hallway, and managed to get a password to a secret room and broke everything in it. Luckily for the kittens, Barbatos didn’t believe it.

I mean, how could three kittens that seem desperate for love that just want some warmth act so devilishly?

Happy to report to MC that nothing came up. Even if he did catch them in the act, it wouldn’t matter. He would think they’re just being a little playful or energetic.

Very delighted that they catch mice, and now that they live here he has three strong cats to protect his kitchen and the prince.

Solomon

This is great!! Now he knows that buff cats breed, can he dissect them?

He was attempting to catch one while the three were there, but these chaotic brats would not sit still. They were jumping from couch to shelves, knocking over all sorts of things.

When he finally got them in his room, they began knocking over all his potions and books, and even began to bite back. They hissed and smacked him with their tails, body slammed him, and tried to claw his eyes out.

He figured feeding them would calm them down, but they ended up breaking his plates as soon as they saw him attempt to cook, these kittens have good intuition.

They proceeded to break everything in the kitchen, and when you came in to check on the noise with Simeon, you saw your three little kittens covered in flour, and Solomon with a defeated look.

Solomon tried to explain, but he got lectured for trying to dissect your babies. You even yelled at him for making them so scared that they tried their hardest to escape him, and almost got hurt because of it.

10/10 thinks those things are little shits.

Simeon

He loves them!! He’s probably good with human children, but with buff kittens he’s amazingly good as well!!

The kittens were well behaved and allowed him to pet them, and curled up as he read them stories!!

He gives them their bottles of milk,, he makes sure they’re warm,, and he babies them!! Because they’re baby.

He gave off great dad energy, and even invited Luke or Solomon to play with them. Luke suddenly had to visit the grocery store and Solomon for some reason was nowhere to be found.

Simeon would love to babysit them again, and even asked if they would come over more often! He and Buff Cat will also share stories of the kittens from now on, because they’re so cute.

Luke

No.

He is not going NEAR them. If he’s terrified of buff cat as is, what makes you think he’s not going to be terrified of buff kittens?

The second he sees one of them act mischievously, he’s screaming for Simeon. However, he just watches Simeon laugh it off.

He’s going to stay in his room until those demon spawns disappear.

+ MC

You were so so happy. Buff Cat’s little kittens were visiting you in the devildom, and you were ecstatic.

When you saw the kittens, you cuddled each of them for twenty minutes straight. You peppered them with kisses and gave them tummy rubs.

The brothers watched in shock, and were slightly envious that you were cuddling the kittens.

You got up to stretch, and as soon as you did they ran around and tried to bite everyone in the vicinity, and after you sat back down, they curled up to you like nothing happened.

Luke was in the corner shaking from how he just witnessed a kitten attempt to bite off Asmo’s eyelash.

Everyone except the baby bunch suddenly felt chills up their backs. It was not going to be a good week.

——————-

Here’s some memes! I think it’d be pretty funny and great on the lore if the royals actually took in the buff kittens, and began to care for them. The cats are as chaotic as Diavolo, so Diavolo would probably take fault and say he must of influenced the cuties, who are just replicating what they see like babies do. Luke, Mammon, and Belphie will never visit again. The kittens will also protect the jewels.

[ichigo-daifuku]

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil [2]

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Pairing: Diavolo/F!Reader Genre: Soulmate AU, Fake Relationship (?), Misunderstandings, Fluff, Angst, Suggestive Themes

Synopsis: During a confrontation between Diavolo and a certain witch who harbors unrequited feelings for him, he declares his intention to ask you to stand beside him in reigning over the Devildom someday. You conclude only one logical explanation for the insanity he uttered: this is his way of discouraging the witch from being so persistent. Although clueless, you play along and become ‘lovers’ with him.

Inevitably, your existing attraction for Diavolo grows, but the distinction between truth and lies, the crisscrossed lines of the right and the wrong, and the question of what’s real and what isn’t, begin to plague your mind and stir up trouble for your relationship with him with each passing day.

Entangled within the woven threads of soulmates and a royal prophecy, this is the story of the Demon Prince and his future Queen: you.

1 | 2 | 3 Chapter 2: Hear No Evil Word Count: 6.5k

To say your week was eventful would be an understatement.

It was no secret that wherever Diavolo went, eyes followed. Even if demons walked on eggshells with him, word about him spread from one mouth to another rapidly, both news and rumors alike. Now, your circumstances mimicked his own. When the two of you would be spotted together, all hell ensued. Once, Diavolo walked you to your classroom, and by the end of the day, everyone—including Belphegor, who had skipped classes—had knowledge of what happened. As the days passed, you slowly fell into the normalcy of such occurrences. The reason for it was when you were in Diavolo’s company, the last thing you cared about was the eyes trained on you, as strange as it sounded. On a positive note, it contributed to the fabrication of your relationship and made it more believable. No one had questioned either of you about it yet.

The most awaited day of the week arrived, Saturday.

You awoke in a good mood, undeniably filled with anticipation of the events today would bring. As you watered the Mirage Flower on your windowsill, the item resting beside it caught your eye: a note. You finished your task and took the crisp white envelope in your hands, flipping it over to see the crimson wax seal on its flap. While you were expecting the RAD logo to be stamped on it, the sigil was one you were positive you’d never seen before but felt strangely acquainted with.

With utmost care, you unsealed the envelope, and in the card, the sender had written:

Bewitched, I was, on the fateful day you and I met.

The familiar penmanship was all you needed to confirm it was, indeed, from none other than Diavolo.

You’d be lying if you claimed your heart didn’t flutter when you finished reading that single sentence, but that was a normal response, wasn’t it? Such a romantic sentiment was written in a note for you, and it was from an admirable man—of course, you’d be moved by it. As you breathed in and out to curb the initial surprise you felt due to the content of the envelope, you tapped behind the paper with your index finger, thinking.

Diavolo loved games, and he was entertained the most by being their mastermind.

This is a riddle, you thought. What a strange way to ask someone out.

You chuckled, both amused by his antics and by the way the gears in your head turned to figure out the meaning behind his words. Months ago, the demon brothers had insisted on coming with you to the Demon Lord’s Castle when you were invited there for tea. Perhaps, it was because, back then, Diavolo had requested for your company in the same manner that you found the answer in no time.

Quietness ruled over the RAD campus on weekends, a stark contrast to the busy picture it painted on weekdays. The area remained open, though, permitting industrious students to hole up inside the library and club members to work on their extracurricular activities. 

Leisurely, you strolled along the garden and entered the building without bumping into anyone you knew. Once inside, you recognized a few demons and nodded to them as a greeting while navigating your way to the answer to the riddle: The Student Council Room.

The door let out a small creak as you pushed it open. Since Diavolo was nowhere to be found, you stepped inside and opted to look around for any signs of another envelope. Despite having a lot of papers and writing implements, Lucifer’s area was the tidiest. The square-shaped tube of the tinted lip balm Asmodeus had been frantically searching for yesterday was on his table. Meanwhile, a stack of overdue assignments Belphegor ‘forgot’ to bring home was on his desk.

You roamed around the room until you reached the space you had landed on when you were transported into this world. Standing still, you raised your head, your gaze meeting the podium Diavolo had occupied, the place where he greeted you. It was the very first time your eyes landed on him. In absolute clarity, you could picture the scene of your meeting and how he looked like back then. He was tall and proud, his eyebrows scrunched together in worry at your discomfort at being summoned so suddenly. Most of all, he was regal, as if the place he had been standing on was not a student council podium but a throne.

“This takes me back,” you commented, feeling nostalgic after realizing how far you’d come. You’d learned many things from your stay and met friends more precious to you than anyone else. In the past, if someone told you what kind of relationship you’d be sharing with the Demon Prince months later, you would’ve laughed and brushed them off. “Now, where could that envelope be?”

You stepped aside and moved forward. The stairs led you to where Diavolo had been on that ‘fateful’ day. Footsteps tentative but thrilled, you approached his seat, halting and pulling the chair out. You stood in the place where Diavolo belonged; high up, the sight offering a clear view of what was happening below. Your gaze zeroed in on the center of the room, the spot you stood at a while ago, where he first landed his eyes on you. It hit you that you were looking at that place from his perspective. What did he think of you back then?

“‘ Bewitched, I was, on the fateful day you and I met, ’” you uttered and caught yourself having thoughts you shouldn’t have. Sighing, you shook your head, picked up the envelope on Diavolo’s desk, and muttered, “Why is he so good at this?”

You unsealed the envelope and read the next riddle:

The greed and lust I harbor for you know no bounds.

How in the Devildom were you supposed to interpret that message? If you were surprised by the previous riddle, then you were flabbergasted now. You had to remind yourself multiple times: it was a riddle; nothing more, nothing less. Based on the emphasis he had given the sins in the message, the clue laid in the two members of the Seven Rulers of Hell: Mammon and Asmodeus. Intrigued by the events he had in store for you, you contemplated the riddle’s meaning further and descended on the stairs with the intent of going home. Before you could forget, you grabbed the missing lip balm Asmodeus left on his desk and decided to return it to him and ask him for any clues Diavolo might have given him.

Once you arrived back at the House of Lamentation, you went straight in the direction of Asmodeus’s room, but surprisingly, you met him along the hallway.

“Asmo! I found the tinted lip balm you’re looking for in the Student Council Room,” you stated, handing him the item.

He accepted it gratefully, his eyes wide. “Oh, my��� I must have left it there a few days ago. Thanks for bringing it!”

“Sure thing,” you replied. “Where are you off to, by the way?”

“Glad you asked! The Into The Devildom collection I designed is going to be launched soon, so I’m meeting some partners for it.”

“Wow, congratulations! I’m looking forward to seeing your designs!”

“Oh, thank you, darling! As crazy as this sounds, the executives suggested Mammon as one of our models, so he’s going to attend the meeting, too.”

“Wait! What did you just say? Mammon?”

“I know, right?” His facial expression morphed into one full of disbelief and exasperation. “Well, I mean, even if he’s scummy off-cam, he does justice to clothing on-cam, so I have high hopes for this campaign... but don’t tell him I said that!”

“Yes, yes, of course…”

The request Asmodeus made barely registered in your mind as you figured out the place connected to both the Avatar of Greed and the Avatar of Lust: Majolish.

The Majolish VIP Room lived up to its name; it was nothing short of glamorous.

After going to an AkuDonald’s drive-through, Mammon, Asmodeus, and you—or as you liked to refer to yourselves: TEAM PARTYYYYY—headed straight to Majolish while chatting about random topics and gossip. Once inside the rose-colored establishment, Mammon and Asmodeus parted ways with you to attend their meeting. You were about to search for clues from the racks and shelves when a staff member approached and escorted you to a sitting room to serve you tea and snacks.

Minutes after partaking of the refreshments, the head stylist welcomed you to the adjoining VIP Room, where, at the moment, you were sitting inside and waiting. You stared at your reflection in the grand vanity mirror. All its lights were turned on, and it was an image you’d only seen in Hollywood movies back in your world. After you were all glammed up with flawless makeup, a staff member under Asmodeus brought an ensemble from his unreleased Into The Devildom collection. You tried to refuse, but after a phone call from the designer himself, insisting he wanted the best clothing for you on your ‘momentous’ date, you relented and expressed your gratitude for his thoughtful gesture.

“My lady,” the head stylist called. Although everyone in this place had been referring to you using this title since earlier, you were still unused to it. The head stylist offered you the item in their hands. “Lord Diavolo asked us to give you this envelope after you’d chosen your outfit.”

You smiled and received it. “I see. Thank you so much.”

“I wish you both a wonderful time,” the head stylist replied and left to give you privacy.

You opened the envelope, wondering what the riddle would say. Since he led you here to prepare you for your date, this would be the last note, wouldn’t it?

Meet me at the place where we first shared dinner, my princess.

I will be waiting.

— Diavolo

‘My princess.’

He called you his princess.

Your heart did a complete somersault at that. 

Unexpectedly, the riddle—if you could even call it one—was more straightforward than the previous two you’d received. You placed the card back inside the envelope, putting it together with the other two inside your clutch. Clearing your throat and fixing your posture, you stood and adjusted your clothing. You were nervous again, but you were ready.

A sleek black car waited for you outside, ready to take you to your destination: Ristorante Six.

“You look even more beautiful tonight,” Diavolo remarked.

He smiled at you from across the table, his appearance dashing though he was only in a plain dress shirt and slacks. He took the champagne flute in his long fingers, your eyes refusing to miss the way his arm flexed at the movement and how his throat bobbed as he took a sip of the beverage.

“I have you to thank for that,” you gulped and managed to reply. “The staff at Majolish were all so nice and accommodating.”

“That’s good to hear.” He placed his glass on the side and leaned back to his seat, his eyes trained on you. “Did you enjoy the riddles?”

You let out a laugh. “I can’t say I didn’t.”

“I’m glad,” he said, the smile on his lips shifting into a frown. “To tell you the truth, I initially planned for us to enjoy a day together in the human world… but when I asked Lucifer for advice, he told me it wouldn’t be pleasant if we were to run into a certain witch…”

Ah, you thought, wondering what that would’ve entailed. However, wouldn’t it be better for Maddi to see you and Diavolo together for her to be deterred? When you contemplated the matter further, you supposed that would be dangerous—for you, at least. Honestly, you would’ve been fine with a simple dinner, but knowing Diavolo, the fact that Ristorante Six was empty save for the two of you was his way of apologizing and making up for the breakfast Maddi ruined. “You don’t need to worry about that. I really enjoyed today. It’s my first time going on a date in the Devildom.”

“That makes me happy,” he stated, visibly relieved and pleased. “We can still go, next time.”

Next time. The implication he wanted to go out with you again made your chest thrum with anticipation. “Yes, you’re right. Next time.”

He reached across the table and took your hand in his, his thumb brushing your knuckles. “Thank you for agreeing to go out with me.”

The scent of roses swirled around the room. The romantic atmosphere enveloping the two of you was intoxicating—as if it was an invitation for you to give in to the thoughts and emotions looming over your mind and heart. Was it those riddles that got to you? Or was it Diavolo himself, whom you’d always admired from afar?

You smiled at him and let your fingers hold on to his own tighter, just for a moment.

As you expected, Diavolo insisted on taking you home. You didn’t mind—no scratch that—it delighted you he’d offer, as your dinner with him felt strangely short. You’d spent a considerable amount of time during the day figuring out the riddles, a period longer than your two hours of dinner. While the five-course meal left you satisfied, your conversation with him was so enjoyable that it felt brief. It wouldn’t take that long to travel from Ristorante Six to the House of Lamentation, so you figured a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.

Soon, you arrived at your home. Diavolo entered the gates of the House of Lamentation with you in comfortable silence. Once the two of you stepped on the porch, you offered, “Do you want to go in and say hi to everyone?”

“Hm?” Diavolo was lost in thought as he gave you an indecisive stare.

“Diavolo?”

As you stared back at him, it dawned on you. You’d witnessed this scene a thousand times in human world movies before, and with his interest in the pop culture of your realm, he had, too. You used to think it was nothing but a ridiculous cliché, but now, you weren’t so sure about that anymore.

“Can I kiss you good night?” Diavolo asked in a low, husky voice.

You had no way of concealing the surprise etched on your face. Even if you expected the question, the thought of kissing him was surreal. You never dared to dream of it, yet here he was, truly asking you if such a thing would be fine with you. The demon brothers would be watching somewhere from one of the tall windows, you had no doubt about it, burning with curiosity about the date between the human they shared a pact with and the Prince they swore their loyalty to. You had agreed to be a part of Diavolo’s charade, and your first date went well. This was natural.

You nodded. “Okay.”

Closing your eyes, you leaned into his warmth as his palm made its way to your cheek and curved at your jaw. The gentle pressure of his lips on your own lasted for a mere second, and the loss of contact prompted your eyes to open, the desire for more reflected in your eyes… and his.

In front of you, Diavolo revealed the rare sight of his vulnerability. You’d never known it before, but there was a limit to his seemingly perpetual composure. As you gazed at the undeniable flush on his cheeks and the hesitation painted all over his countenance, the longing to see more of this version of him led adrenaline to spike in your veins.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and whispered, “Do you need me to do more?”

Diavolo’s eyes widened at your astute inquiry, but he made no move to deny it. “Will you?”

The question sounded like a challenge, but underneath that layer, it was a plea. He wanted this, and you did, too—even if it was only for show.

“I can,” you confirmed, “if you’d like me to.”

At your agreement, his hesitation dissipated. He leaned in and brushed your lower lip with his thumb. “If you continue to tempt me like that, you need to prepare yourself for the consequences.”

“I’ve been prepared for them. Ever since I said ‘yes’ to you.”

You closed your eyes as Diavolo bent his head and pressed a gentle kiss on your lips. It was a real one, this time, and you returned it enthusiastically, throwing caution to the wind. His palm moved past your cheek, down to your shoulder, pausing on the small of your back until it settled around your waist, fitting your bodies together. His warm tongue slid past the seam of your lips to meet yours, deepening the kiss and awakening a wave of desire inside of you.

Before it could get out of hand, you broke the contact of your lips on his. You caught your breath while Diavolo leaned his forehead against yours. Your lips stayed a hair’s breadth away from each other’s, sharing warm puffs of breath and brushing as you whispered, “Good night, Diavolo.”

“Good night, my princess.”

The first kiss you shared with Diavolo had been the beginning of many.

A certain thrill hung in the atmosphere whenever the two of you were in the vicinity of each other. More often than not, your encounters would lead to the two of you leaving hand in hand to move to a more private setting as everyone watched. Although there was no reason for you to continue your charade behind closed doors, the moment your eyes met his, kisses followed. When your relationship with him took a physical turn through your heated kisses, your attraction to him inevitably grew stronger.

Being the heir to the Devildon’s throne, Diavolo was a busy demon. Despite this, he would still take you on dates. You’d gone to Ristorante Six a few more times. There was an instance when he wanted to go to AkuDonald’s, and you were more than happy to introduce him to your favorites. Your date at Hell’s Kitchen went well, too. How he managed to find the time for these things, you had no idea. The following dates you went with him were accompanied with gifts, and soon, across your bedroom’s shelves and beside your pillows, various plush toys from Cranesanity rested—all acquired personally by Diavolo. It was both amusing and endearing, his interest in that game.

On a Sunday afternoon, weeks after you began your dangerous affair with him, Diavolo invited you to come over for tea in the Demon Lord’s Castle. Much like how it began after your second date, he had asked you in a way you’d consider normal, this time, through a text message. Either way, if he was the one who invited you, you’d be delighted to accept.

With the inky view of the Devildom outside the sitting room window, you sat across Diavolo, a round ornate table full of pastries between the two of you. The freshly brewed Ceylon tea by none other than Barbatos, a culinary legend, was warm and fragrant in your teacups. One of the best things in the Demon Lord’s Castle was the food. Barbatos’s cooking was the best, truly fit for royalty, and worth every praise you’d heard about it. As Beelzebub would mention now and then, from being served such food alone, Diavolo was lucky to have Barbatos as his butler.

While eating, Diavolo brought up how the RAD Newspaper Club contacted him and asked for his approval for your photo in the academy’s courtyard to be published. Before giving them a response, he wanted to know if you had any objections or conditions for Mephistopheles to take into account.

“I have no problem with it, honestly. It would be better if the denizens knew, wouldn’t it?” you responded after giving it some thought, meaning every word you said.

Diavolo nodded, considering your answer.

“What about you? What do you think?” you asked.

“I’d like nothing more than to let everyone know about us. Not that they don’t know already, but officially, I mean.” Diavolo chuckled and handed you a printed copy of the photograph for your approval. “We look like quite the pair, don’t we?”

As you examined the picture, a smile made its way to your lips, a tiny, if not bittersweet, one. You, Diavolo, and the Mirage Flower were at the center of the frame. On the surface, the two of you looked like a couple in love; convincing, real. You knew better, though, and that reality left a pang in your chest. “We sure do.”

A celebratory ball was going to be held at the Demon Lord’s Castle in honor of Diavolo’s prophesied ‘Queen.’ In other words, the ball was going to be held to honor you. The situation was similar to what happened some time ago when the demon brothers, through their gratitude, made you the guest of honor during Diavolo’s birthday. It lessened the nervousness you felt and replaced it with anticipation.

Still, it would be nice to thank Diavolo for everything he had done for you. You looked back on the facts you’d learned about him in the past few months and listed the arts, cute animals and items, and sweets as the things he was partial to. His tastes were eclectic. When you first met him, you wouldn’t have guessed he considered flowers and small animals to be comforting.

In the end, you decided to go for the ‘sweets’ option. Macarons and cupcakes would be nice, wouldn’t they? Both of them would be cute and sweet. You decided to experiment with a few trial batches before making a final one to give Diavolo as a gift on the day of the ball. 

Luke, who you were convinced was truly your guardian angel, was more than happy to assist you when you asked him for help.

Once your classes were dismissed, you returned to the House of Lamentation with Luke. After he demonstrated how to make macarons and cupcakes, you sat side by side and chatted as you waited for the pastries to bake.

“So,” Luke began out of the blue, “you’re really dating Lord Diavolo, huh? I couldn’t believe it when I first heard about it.”

While you had experienced telling white lies to children back in your world, at the moment, you found it difficult to believe how you were lying to an angel. “Haha, yeah. It’s been a while.” 

“I’m still not over the fact that a good human like you ended up being destined for a demon all along! Even if that demon is Lord Diavolo…” Luke frowned. He had always been like this, worrying about you, a human who was constantly surrounded by demons. To him, now that you were going to be Diavolo’s Queen, your entanglement with demons had become inexorable.

You couldn’t help but reach out to him and ruffle his hair. He was truly an angel, a good kid.

“H-Hey,” he complained but did nothing to move your hand away, “stop that!”

“Thanks for worrying about me, Luke.” You smiled at him reassuringly and patted his shoulder. “Everything will be fine. As you said, Diavolo and I… well, we are destined, after all.”

The sound of the timer prompted your heads to turn to its source. Luke’s face lit up as he excitedly grabbed his mittens and skipped to the corner of the room. The heavenly scent of pastries wafted all over the kitchen as he drew the oven’s door open.

You, however, stayed in place and merely watched, once again having difficulty believing how you lied to an angel.

Diavolo’s trusted footmen fetched you from the House of Lamentation to the Demon Lord’s Castle. 

Over the last few months, you’d developed a sense of familiarity not only with Diavolo’s staff but also with the ins and outs of his grand home. You’d stayed over numerous times that the guest room you frequented in was now assigned as exclusively yours, with your personal effects in it, serving as your room. Aside from your possessions, brand new designer clothing purchased by Diavolo—which were, unexpectedly, all in your size—as well as makeup, accessories, toiletries, and everything you could need, occupied the walk-in closet.

“Is this really necessary?” you had asked him when you found out about his shopping spree, worry trumping the other mixed emotions you felt at the sight of more gifts.

“I want to give all the best things to you.”

“If you say things like that, I…”

“Don’t you think my future Queen deserves the best of the best?”

“...Right, of course.”

Diavolo’s Queen. That person was not you. You sighed and reminded yourself he was the Demon Prince. He had an eternity’s worth of money to spare, purchasing these items was nothing to him. He prepared this for the Queen in the prophecy, a partner deserving of such luxury. When you eventually had to use some of the items for attending events with Diavolo, you told yourself you were just borrowing them. You handled everything with care and returned them to their original place after use—as if your hands never touched them at all.

You arrived at the Demon Lord’s Castle and found yourself sitting on the plush sofa inside Diavolo’s study. After recently having a vision of Diavolo playing hooky, Barbatos requested for you to keep an eye on him, insisting his master would listen to you. Barbatos asked you to make sure Diavolo would finish his tasks before the two of them had to leave for a meeting with important figures of the nobility in the Devildom. You obliged, having nothing else to do on a Friday night, preferring Diavolo’s quiet company over the club music and neon lights in town, which would no doubt be full of demons unwinding tonight. While you scrolled through Devilgram, liked your friends’ photos, and laughed at funny videos, Diavolo went through his stack of papers diligently. As the pile grew smaller, he hummed to the tune of a song from Mononoke Land, which piqued your attention.

“You seem to be in a good mood,” you commented. 

“I am.” He nodded happily. “You’re here, after all.”

You smiled at him. “I’m glad.”

Diavolo signed his name at the bottom of the page he was working on and placed his seal on it. After the wax dried, he closed the folder and placed it to the side, leaning back against his seat with an exhausted sigh.

You glanced at him and asked, “You’re finished?”

“It seems so,” he replied, checking the grandfather’s clock in the corner of the room, “and with a few minutes to spare, too.”

“Barbatos will be pleased. Congratulations!”

He chuckled and shifted his gaze back to you, a mischievous smirk on his lips. “Don’t you think I deserve a reward?”

“Maybe,” you played along coyly. “What kind of reward do you want?”

“Something only you can give me.”

“Such a thing exists?”

“Yes.” He gestured to you with his fingers, beckoning you over. “Come here.”

You locked your D.D.D. and left it on the sofa, standing up and stepping in front of his desk. “What can I do for you, Diavolo?”

“You can come closer.”

You circled the desk until you were beside him. “Here?”

“Not quite.” He took your wrist and encircled your waist with his arm, pulling you into his lap. “Right here.”

You shifted and found a more comfortable position with your legs hanging from the side of his knees. “That’s it?”

“No.” Diavolo brushed your hair aside and caressed your cheek. “Kiss me.”

Gladly, you thought but ultimately chose actions over words as a response.

Your lips had long been acquainted with his, but every single time remained as a sensual experience that left you wanting for more. Sometimes he’d be slow and gentle, taking his time to savor your taste, while other times had been quick pecks on your lips when either of you would be busy and in a rush to say goodbye.

But now, the kiss the two of you were sharing could only be described as passionate. Your palms rested on his shoulders, and slowly, you wrapped your arms around him, closing in your bodies toward each other. His lips moved against yours so greedily—lustfully—that you felt sinful as you reciprocated, drowning in his warmth.

When you pulled away to catch your breath, his arm tightened around your waist, and his mouth swept over your cheek, leaving a trail of kisses in its wake until his lips found your neck. He kissed you softly, his tongue darting out to dampen your skin before nipping and sucking at it.

“Diavolo,” you closed your eyes and whispered, not wanting to make noise but unable to hold it in.

“Let out your voice,” he said, moving his lips downward after leaving a lovebite on your skin. “I want to hear you.”

His long fingers unfastened the button of your blouse, giving him more access to your body. As he moved to the next button, however, a loud knock on the door caused the two of you to freeze.

“My Lord,” Barbatos called. “It is time for us to leave.”

Without waiting for an answer, the sound of footsteps echoed on the empty hallway and faded as Barbatos gave the two of you privacy.

He knows, doesn’t he? That Barbatos, you thought, internally panicking. You moved away from Diavolo and fixed your hair and clothes. Even though your mind was all muddled now, you managed to casually tell him, “I guess it’s time for you to go.”

Deep inside, you were anything but calm. Your head replayed the events that occurred minutes ago. That was a close call. Too close. What in the Devildom were you thinking? Seriously… 

It always irked you how times when, after sharing a kiss, Diavolo appeared to be unbothered existed. You preferred the vulnerable expression he had shown you during the first time you agreed to kiss him. Still, you were curious, and you turned your head to peek at the face he made tonight, but nothing could have prepared you when your eyes met his.

His gaze on you was full of desire, an emotion you’d only seen on him in flickers before; a speculation you doubted but was now a blatant truth. He stepped closer to you and pulled you in a tight embrace, letting you feel the extent of his arousal as he stroked your hair and inhaled your fragrance.

“We’ll finish this next time,” he whispered.

And then, he sealed his promise with a kiss.

After seeing Diavolo and Barbatos off, you opted to go home instead of staying longer in the Demon Lord’s Castle. You needed time to think, and being in a place full of memories with Diavolo didn’t help in clearing your mind.

You’d long accepted your attraction to him. If you were to imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with a soulmate, every detail would be the same as the romantic affair you shared with Diavolo, except it would be real. Tonight, you had to face the music and admit it to yourself: you wished it was.

The situation was getting out of your hands, and at a loss of what to do, you grabbed your D.D.D. from your pocket and dialed a reliable friend’s number, knowing this decision would change your life.

As insisted by the angels, Solomon went to town to order takeout for dinner instead of experimenting in the kitchen. That was when he received your call. The two of you agreed to meet up at Hell’s Kitchen, as you spontaneously decided to purchase food for the demon brothers as well. It had been a while since all eight of you had gone for a meal there. Solomon wasn’t in a rush and had time to spare, so he was more than happy to sit down with you for a chat as you waited for your orders to be processed.

“Shall we have a round of Demonus tonight?” he asked, leading you to a nice, secluded table in the corner of the room.

“Sounds good,” you replied with a nod and took the seat in front of him.

After some idle chat, a waiter brought two horns of Demonus for you and Solomon.

With his elbows on top of the table, Solomon rested his chin over his folded hands. He broached the subject with a smile, “So, what did you want to talk about? Spells? Pacts? Demons? Recipes?”

You took your time in replying, not having uttered this word in this world before. “I’d like to talk about… soulmates.”

“Soulmates? Well, that’s something I didn’t expect.”

“Yes, I… I wanted to know if there are demons who have soulmarks.”

“How come? By any chance, do you have a soulmark?”

It was difficult enough for you to acknowledge you had one, but if you wanted to acquire information from Solomon, your best bet at the moment, you had to come clean about your situation. “Yes, I do.”

“Does Lord Diavolo know?”

“No, this is a secret I’ve never revealed to anyone before.”

Solomon contemplated the situation you had given him. “That is certainly complicated.”

You sighed and took a sip of your Demonus. “I know.”

“I hate to be the one to break it to you. I’ve been around for a long time, but I’ve never met a demon with a soulmark.” 

“I see. That’s…” Sad? Unfortunate? Heartbreaking? What were you supposed to say when the disappointment clouding your mind felt so heavy?

“I’m sorry,” Solomon said sincerely.

“It’s… It’s nothing. I’m alright.”

He took a sip of his drink and allowed you to process the information he had given you. As you did, you couldn’t help but dwell on another matter that continued to plague your mind. After a few minutes, you decided this would be the best moment to ask.

“Solomon…”

“Yes, what is it?”

“Have you heard about Diavolo’s prophecy?”

A sly smile made its way to his lips. “Let’s just say having pacts with seventy-two demons has its perks.”

That caught your attention. He knew something about it. “Will you tell me?”

“Why not ask him yourself?” Solomon suggested. “It’s something that concerns you as well, doesn’t it?”

There had always been a sense of camaraderie between the two of you as the only humans in the exchange program. Revealing the fact you had a soulmark was one thing, but telling him about the secret you shared with Diavolo was another. Still, if you were to receive the answer your gut feeling told you that you would receive, there would be no need to worry about that any longer. 

“I’m going to tell you another secret.”

Solomon nodded encouragingly. “And it will remain as one.”

His quip made you laugh, but the amusement faded in the blink of an eye, the words you were about to utter weighing you down.

“The truth is, I’m just a stand-in for whoever is the one in the prophecy,” you confessed. “I’m sure you’ve heard of her, but Maddi… well, long story short, Diavolo had to drive her away, but she steered the conversation to the prophecy, and I happened to be there, so…”

Solomon peered at your face, his expression grave. “You’re sure about this?”

“Yes, I was there. That’s what happened.”

“And the demon brothers don’t know, so you can’t ask them yourself.”

“That’s right.”

He leaned back and crossed his arms. “Okay, I’ll tell you.”

Relief washed over you at his agreement. If Solomon ended up refusing, you didn’t know who else you could approach.

Solomon cleared his throat and divulged, “It was long ago, so the version of the story varied, but from what I’d gathered from the different sources I had, one thing was constant: a witch had a vision of the future when the Demon Prince was born. It was said that Diavolo’s Queen would be the bridge to his goals, and only when the Queen would rule by his side would he be able to see them into fulfillment.”

This was the revelation you needed, the answer you sought after. If the prophecy was made when Diavolo was born, it meant that he had been waiting for his Queen for millennia.

It must be lonely, you thought, but loneliness was something you never saw on him. 

While you never cared about finding nor ending up with your soulmate, it was a different matter with Diavolo. The Devildom would always be his number one priority. To figure out the dream the prophecy was referring to was easy: for the three worlds to live peacefully in coexistence. He’d expressed that many times before. The establishment of the exchange program was a stepping stone to actualize his vision, but he was still waiting for his Queen, a position vyed by many but was in your wrongful hands.

It would be fine to continue pretending to be his Queen if you weren’t in love with him… but you were. How could you continue kissing him and wishing every caress of his lips was sincere? It was as if you were a traveler with a parched throat who spotted an oasis from afar, only to discover it was a mirage once you reached it. Even now, a flicker of envy sparked within you for the nameless, faceless Queen of the Devildom he was bound to have by his side. At once, you discarded the thought and decided it wasn’t a good feeling to have, to covet him, who is destined for someone else. It would be wrong of you to continue pretending to be someone you weren’t, especially since someone who might be out there already existing, deserved this place. 

Solomon’s worried voice roused you from your reverie. “You seem shaken. Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m fine,” you responded with a shaky voice. “It’s just… a lot to take in.”

“What do you plan to do now?”

“I’m going to break things off with him.”

“You say that, but will he let you?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” You let out a sardonic chuckle. “It’s not like there was anything going on between us, to begin with.”

“Hmm…”

“Solomon? What is it?”

“Oh, nothing.” He shook his head and smiled. “I’m curious to see how this unfolds. I wish you the best of luck.”

“Thank you.”

Yes, breaking things off with him would be the right thing to do. After all, you couldn’t help but imagine yourself in Maddi’s shoes as Diavolo blatantly rejected your affection. The thought alone was painful enough. Before that could happen, you’d part ways with him in amicable terms and through your own will. The exchange program was going to end soon, anyway. Truly, there was no point in holding on to him any longer. This would be for the best.

You would set things straight and end your arrangement with him the next time you planned to meet each other: at the upcoming celebratory ball at the Demon Lord’s Castle.

Notes: I went through a writing slump for a while, so I decided to work on a few shorter pieces before writing this chapter. Finally, it’s here! To those who had been waiting for this, I hope you enjoyed reading. Thank you for your patience! ♡

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

Obey Me! Masterlist | Main Masterlist

[husky-twst-and-obeyme]

The Brothers (Plus Un-Datables) when it’s MC’s Birthday

(I’m so sorry i haven’t posted qwq I really wanted tor try and do this on my birthday but i got a certain game and I’ve been attached since then- but I hope you enjoy this!!)

Lucifer

-He knew your birthday ahead of time  -at first, he didn’t want to plan anything special, maybe just a private dinner with some gifts -but you mean more to him then just that  -So he in secrets gets you gifts through the months without anyone noticing  -gets you a present on your birthday every few hours until you are greeted wiht a small hill of presents at the end of the day  -His presents mainly consisted of things that caught your interest , as well as some jewelry to bring out yours eyes 

Mammon

-He wouldn’t know it was your birthday until two days before -He tries to plan things out as best as possible as well as not spending way too much money on you -he knows you worry about his debt, so he tries to get things at a mild price -When the day comes, he wakes you up with a party popper and gives you kisses  -he gives you the presents after breakfast so that you can enjoy them for the rest of the day  -You would slightly question how expensive these looks, which made you worry that he spent too much but you don’t bother him about it  -you guys would finish the day snuggling in bed , nothing sexual, just two dorks in bed , maybe watching a few movies on a laptop

Levi

-He would absolute know when your birthday was coming up -He would want to try and do things he saw in his animes, like going out , doing karaoke, a stereotypical under the cherry blossoms scene, etc etc -it’s more normal than  you think  -he does try to take you out but he clings onto your arm the whole time - You thought it was sweet that he was trying to be a little more outgoing  -the best part is when we took you to a park near a crimson red lake  -You guys sat there for hours, talking about recent animes, manga and such  -his gift was of figures of an anime that interested you and you really appreciated it  -you soon return the favor and kiss him  -he’s immediately red 

Satan

-He was aware of your birthday coming up but he was distracted to remember it right away -he didn’t realize until is it before bed on the day before, you mention that you were excited for your birthday  -then it hit him like a truck  -He freaked out slightly because 1. he would never forget purposely 2. he didn’t have time to plan or get the perfect gift  -so he decided to make you one -he made origami animals, he did better then expected with them   -when he presented them to you , you were filled with excitement! -they were so cute and you noticed how most of them were mainly cats but you didn’t mind, it’s satan after all -he would still feel bad about almost forgetting, so he would shower you with more love than before

 Asmo 

-He was excited, he had already planned the whole and how it would go  -First, perfect breakfast, then afterwards Birthday shopping , and so on -but you immediately knew what the surprise gift was , it’s asmo, what else would you get as a “surprise” -but ...it wasn’t-?? -You were ready for him to pull  a move to lead you into bed but he instead holds out a present  -he eagerly waits for you to open and you thought it was a “toy” but it was a hand knitted sweater  -you could tell it was by the way it was made  -he explained that anything would of been good for you , but he wanted it to be more special than that  -you finished the day sleeping with Asmo in your new sweater , surprisingly with no sex at all -....until morning-

Beel

-Beel planned to make sweets for you but needed to make sure you stayed out of the kitchen  -so he had belphie keep you away from the kitchen until your birthday arrives -it was so hard for him not to eat what he baked but he gave himself motivation by saying “Mc’s kisses are sweeter, Mc’s kisses are sweeter “  to keep his mind off food -Finally when beel present his food gifts, you were so surprised and happy  -but you couldn’t finish it all by yourself , so you offer him some bites  -he tries not to since they were for you but takes you on that offer when his stomach growls  -reguardless though, he did end up with your kisses and he was right , you were sweeter 

Belphie

-you’d think he wouldn’t care but in reality, he just didn’t know what to give you  -he wants it to be good especially since he caused you harm from before  -then he gets the idea to go camping  -when he suggested that on the day of, you gladly accepted , which reliefed him because if you said “no” it would of ruined his plans -When you guys got set up , he did fun things with you , even though he was doing so with low effort , like hiking (at least a little) , animal watching , and such -it gets darker out (it already was but  it gets darker near night ) and you both watch the stars in the sky  -he holds your hand and tells you about each of the stars , telling you that you shine just as beautifully as them  -you soon lay into his embrace and sleep , as he hums rubbing your head as you both sleep peacefully under the glimmering stars 

Diavolo

-He was the most excited for your birthday  -He would make sure that everything was perfect just for you , you are his future Queen (boy or girl or neutral ,you’d be Queen regardless) after all -He firstly showers you in kisses and starts you off with a nice morning bath with him  -he treats you to your favorite breakfast (same for when lunch and dinner arrive) -Before dinner , he lefts you open your presents , they were mainly things like treasure, jewelry, dress/outfits and thing usually for  royalty  -your favorite was the crown he had made for you  -It had your birthstone as the main jewel  -He has a party for you but you stayed close to him for the most part -you were surprised he didn’t dance with you during that but there was a reason behind it  -When the party was over, you headed to your room with him , thinking you’d both go to bed, he opens the balcony and extends a hand toward you for a dance  -you were surprised  by this and his charming smile made you blush  -you accept his offer and danced with him in the moonlight 

Barbatos 

-He would know about your birthday but pretends not to to keep you from expecting a surprise from him  -He mainly bakes sweets for you but he has other gifts that aren’’t entirely food  -on the day of , he surprised you with a morning kiss  -Diavolo allowed him to spend the day with you , if he was allowed to tag along (he wanted to make sure you have a good birthday too )  -You spend time with him doing outdoor activities, like golf or tennis  -Diavolo actually distracted you for a while while Barbatos prepared your gifts  -Diavolo even gave you a small gift, it was a braclet that had a bright green stone and (whatever color matches you ) stone  -”it’s you and Barbatos , set in stone !” -Soon you given your gifts from Barbatos , he knew very well what you wanted and he got everything you wanted at that time  -you finish off by eating sweets together but Diavolo left before that , mainly because he scented romance coming forth  -which was true but all you two was mainly kiss for a bit and maybe a little more

Solomon 

-He didn’t even know it was your birthday today and you got a little salty  -he tries to make it up to you but doing magic spells for you  -you didn’t trust him to since he likes to prank you with his magic at times  -but he made wonderful things out of his magic, like aurora like bunnies jumping through the air or cute aurora bears playing  -it was all so cute and beautiful , that you soften up just a little  -he then treats you to a fine dinner , your favorite place  -You’re glad he’s actually trying his best for you today that it almost didn’t matter  -all you cared about him and were happy with him  -at the end of the day , he kissed your forehead , and a magic seal was on it , it formed a heart  -”now you’ll always have my enteral love~” 

Simeon

-He wasn’t sure how humans did birthdays but he knew it included gifts, so you hand made you his gifts  -the first on was a beaded bracelet that was silver and blue  -then he made you a wool scarf  -and the last one was a charm , he used a little magic for this one -He gave his gifts slowly through the day  -you loved each one , the bracelet was so pretty and you felt so warm with the scarf but you haven’t gotten the last one yet  -It was getting close to the end of the day and you noticed that Simeon was extra cheery  -”hiding something from me ?~” you sneer -He smiles and hands you the charm  -at first , you didn’t see what the big deal was until it floated and glowed  -It gave off such a warm feeling  “now if we’re ever apart, you’ll always have a little bit of me around to protect and comfort you, My sweet Angel~”

(I hope you enjoyed! leave more suggestions for stuff like this!