#what if everyone believes blitzø when he said the fire was an accident | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nottapossum · 4 months

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⚠️Very important trigger warnings!!⚠️

Character death, abuse, neglect, toxic relationships, manipulation, abandonment, forced age regression, talking about murder, threatening to kill your own child.

Stay safe ❤️And please don't hurt me over what you're about to read. It's very messed up. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to post this one 😢 but I worked so hard on it! Lol

'I'm sorry that I did this.

The blood is on my hands.

I stare at my reflection,

I don't know who I am.

Practice my confession,

In case I take the stand,

I'll say I learned my lesson,

I'll be a better man.

I'm packing up my things,

And I'm wiping down the walls.

I'm rinsing off my clothes

And I'm walking through the halls.

I did it all for herSo I felt nothing at all.

I don't know what she'll say

So I'll ask her when she calls...

Would you love me more If I killed someone for you?

Would you hold my hand?

They're the same ones that I used...When I killed someone for you.' ~If I killed someone for you, Alec Benjamin.

~~~Stolas and Blitzø, The next day:~~~

Stolas got up early the next morning to prepare some breakfast, he hoped it could possibly make up for what happened last night.

He hoped Blitzø wasn't too upset with him, hopefully he understood why Stolas needed to do this.

“Stolas!”

Nope. He supposed not.

Blitzø stomps into the kitchen, in his regular attire once again. “What the fuck?!”

“Blitzø! Good morning! Would you like some breakfast?” Stolas asks. He sets two plates of pancakes down on the table.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Blitzø asks. “I told you Moxxie is in danger, I said I needed to find him. And you took that as please take me home with you?”

“Blitzø, I am sorry, darling. I really am! But, Loona called me. She was worried about you.” Stolas says. “I couldn't just ignore her. She sounded like she was crying because she was so worried about your safety.”

“She did?” Blitzø asks. He felt a little guilty for worrying her, but he didn’t have a choice! Moxxie was in danger, he had to save him before it was too late!

“Yes. And I’m worried too.” Stolas says, taking Blitzø’s hand. “You pushed everyone away and tried to solve this on your own, why? What is going on?” He asks.

Blitzø sighs. “My-” He stops himself before he can continue. “I- I’m not getting you involved in this.” Blitzø says.

“Well, too bad! Get me involved, Blitzø! I’m asking you to!” Stolas says. “Please!”

“I can’t!”

“Blitzø-“

“No no no, you can’t, you can’t!”

“Blitzø-“

“I CAN’T LET YOU GET HURT TOO!” Blitzø shouts.

Stolas and Blitzø both go silent…

Taking a moment to calm down and let the words sink in…

Stolas points to one of the chairs at the table. “Sit.”

“Stolas, I can’t just-”

“Blitzø…please?” Stolas asks.

Blitzø sighs, then does so, reluctantly.

“Why won't you let me help you?” Stolas asks.

Blitzø shakes his head.

“Blitzø…what’s going on? Please talk to me.” Stolas asks, placing his hand on Blitzø's.

Blitzø inhales sharply, moving his hand away. “Moxxie’s disappearance is my fault…My father has him somewhere.”

“Your father?”

Blitzø nods. “Yeah.”

“Why does everything always come back to him?” Stolas asks.

Blitzø shrugs. “I don’t try to make it like that, believe me. He’s trying to take I.M.P from me as revenge for burning down his circus. He has a contract and everything. He’ll only give me Moxxie if I sign it.”

Stolas hums, cursing Cash under his breath.

“This is my fault, just like with Fizz and Barbie, I ruin the lives of everyone I care about.” Blitzø says.

“That's not true.” Stolas says. “You've done nothing but improve my life since we've become friends.”

Blitzø shakes his head. “It's only a matter of time, Stolas.” He says.

“If something happens to me, it won't be your fault. The fire was an accident and what your father chooses to do is not your fault, it's his.” Stolas says, taking Blitzø’s hands. “We'll figure this out together, being my friend means you won't be alone, my dear.”

Blitzø blushed slightly, but looked down so hopefully Stolas didn’t see it (he did). “So, if I hypothetically let you help, what would you suggest we do?” Blitzø asks. “We can't make him tell us, he hates me more than he values his life.”

Stolas thinks for a moment. “Well, one thing’s for certain. You are not signing that contract.”

“No shit.” Blitzø crosses his arms. “I don't know what I'm missing here, this doesn't seem like something Cash would do, he's never put so much effort into anything..” As hard as it was to admit, it was true, he was at a loss.

“May I see this contract?” Stolas asks.

“It’s back at IMP.” Blitzø says.

“Let's eat some breakfast, and I'll look it over.” Stolas says, sipping his tea all smugly.

Blitzø glares at Stolas. “Stolas, I'm not hungry.”

“Loona told me you haven't eaten in days. You're eating something.” Stolas says.

“Stolas, what are you doing?” Blitzø asks.

“I'm taking care of you, I'm your caregiver, it's my job.” Stolas says. “And if yesterday taught me anything it’s that I haven't been strict enough with you.”

“Stolas-”

“This is called the consequences of your actions. You worried me and Loona, and now I fuss over you.” Stolas smiles.

Blitzø groans. He doesn't have time for this shit!

“We're not leaving until you eat something.” Stolas says.

Blitzø sighs, then reluctantly starts eating.

He's not very hungry, but he knew Stolas was right.

He'd be no help to Moxxie if he wasn't taking care of himself.

~~~Moxxie:~~~

Moxxie was on the floor still, holding his legs close to his chest…

He was going crazy. He couldn't do this anymore. He's been in the same position for hours, not knowing what to do. Too afraid to move!

How long has he been in this room?

How long has he been trapped in this house?

He wasn't himself anymore, something was wrong! It was all wrong!

He just wants to go home…

Alessio suddenly walked into the room. “Your father wants to speak to you in the living room.” He says simply.

Moxxie’s chest suddenly throbbed with anxiety. “Why?” He asks.

Alessio doesn't answer, just walks away wordlessly.

Moxxie stood up, his breathing becoming quicker and his head getting lighter, but his legs forced him to move to the living room.

~~~Stolas & Blitzø:~~~

Stolas read through the contract carefully, pacing around the office.

“Well?” Blitzø asks.

“Checking the fine print here, it says if Cash dies, all of IMP goes to one…Crimson knolasname.” Stolas reads.

Blitzø takes the contract. “What?!” The writing was so miniscule, he's surprised even Stolas could read it, he couldn't even see it. “So, Crimson does have Moxxie?” He asks.

“It appears so, or at least he knows something about it. But, why the hell would your father make a deal like this anyway? Isn't Crimson dangerous?” Stolas asks.

“It’s Cash, okay? If someone offered him a thousand dollars to off himself, he probably would.” Blitzø exaggerates.

Stolas hums. “I could spare a thousand dollars.”

“We checked Crimson’s place already.” Blitzø explains. “Wait- what about that spell you use to spy on me?”

“Spy?” Stolas asks. “I never spy on you. What gave you such a silly idea, Blitzy?” Stolas laughs awkwardly to cover up the obvious lie.

Blitzø raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, fine. I may have a spell. But I would need something that I can use to connect to Moxxie. Usually, a lock of hair, blood, or even a piece of skin would work best. But, it may work if we have something that belongs to him that has a significant impact on his character.”

Blitzø nods. “I can get that. Out of curiosity, what did you use for me?” He asks.

Stolas blushes. “Uhh, well. You know how we…well I still had some of your DNA on me.”

Blitzø blinks. “You…you know what? Who am I to judge?” He says. “If you can use that to find Moxxie, we won't need to negotiate. Only blow some mother fuckers up.” He smiles.

Stolas leans in close to Blitzø. “Also, as it turns out, there is a way to remove scent from Imps, there is a substance called nonodorem. It's a purple or sometimes blue substance that is created with hellberries and other magical substances that is used by injecting it into someone's body to prevent them from being tracked. With Crimson having so much resources, it wouldn't surprise me if he was able to get his hands on some.”

Blitzø nodded. “I fucking knew it.”

“It's interesting, it wears off every 10 hours, so you'd have to keep injecting them every-”

“Stolas, I know you love research and reading and learning new things, but I really don't have time for it right now, okay?” Blitzø says, trying to sound as nice as possible.

“Oh right, sorry.” Stolas says. “So, where do we start?” He asks.

Blitzø was about to answer when there was suddenly a kick at the door.

The door broke and two Imps walked inside. “Blitzø, you are going to tell me what's going on, right now!” Millie shouts after destroying his beloved door for good. “I'm not playing games!”

(That door was nothing more than a pile of splinters now. Rip.)

“Millie…hi.” Blitzø says awkwardly, knowing how Millie is when she's angry.

“Hello, Millie, hello other imp.” Stolas says.

“Ooo, who's the fancy bird?” Sallie asks.

“I'm Stolas. Nice to meet you.” Stolas offers his hand.

“Sallie Mae.” She shakes his hand.

“I've been calling you and you've ignored every single fucking call! What is the matter with you!?” She asks.

“Millie, look I'm sorry okay? I should have been more honest with you from the beginning. Things just got- complicated.”

“He's my husband, Blitzø. I have a right to know these things.” Millie says.

Stolas and Sallie Mae were engaging in casual chit chat while Blitzø and Millie talked.

“You're the bird at the harvest moon festival!”

“Yes. And you play every year.” Stolas adds.

“That's right!” Sallie says.

“I know, I'm a dick.” Blitzø says. “I just couldn't let myself be responsible for another friend.”

“What do you mean?” Millie asks.

“It- it doesn't matter. Butz Stolas may have found Moxxie.” He says.

“I need more information than that.” She says. “Where the fuck is my husband?” she asks, her eyes promising harm if they don't comply.

“Let's just say Crimson planned a lot more than we thought.” Blitzø says. “We just need to confirm where Moxxie is exactly. Stolas?”

Stolas and Sallie Mae stopped talking as he looked over at Blitzø. “Yes?”

“How long will it take you to perform the spell?” Blitzø asks.

Stolas thinks. “Not too long, thirty minutes?” He suggests.

“Great, I got a plan.” Blitzø says. “Millie, we'll need to stop at your apartment.”

~~~Moxxie, Present:~~~

Moxxie walked downstairs until he saw Crimson. “S-sir?”

“You should have known I'd figure out where you got your information from regarding the littles.” Crimson says.

“What are you talking about?” Moxxie asks.

“Look who's hanging out next to yer buddy Chaz.” He smiles.

Moxxie looks over at the shark jaws that his father had plastered on the wall.

Next to ‘Chazwick Thurman’ was ‘Quint Corleone….’

Moxxie couldn’t breathe…“You…Quint?” Moxxie asks. “You killed him?!” He asks.

This couldn't be! No! Not Quint! No!

For a moment, he couldn't see anything in front of him…

Quint- he didn't deserve this!

“He got himself killed by going behind my back.” Crimson says. “He knew the consequences of crossing me.”

He did…and yet he risked that just to tell Moxxie about the littles-

It's all his fault…

~~~Past, Moxxie age 17:~~~

Rain was a wonderful thing. Moxxie loved it, he loved the smell, the moisture, the way it made the atmosphere so fresh. It was something he couldn't really describe.

He was sitting on the back porch of the mansion, marinating in the cool breeze when Quint decided to join him.

“Hey.”

Moxxie smiles at him. “Hey.”

“What's happening between you and Chaz?” Quint asks, not bothering with any sort of small talk. Quint doesn't believe in beating around the bush.

Moxxie rolls his eyes. Quint always had an opinion about everything, he always felt like his opinions mattered when they often didn't. “What's going on between you and Stu?” He asks back.

Quint rolls his eyes back.

“Hey, if you're going to ask me, I can ask you.” Moxxie says.

“Stu and I meet up, we hang out, we…” He doesn't continue his list. “It could never work out between us. I don't know how to be with anyone, not after…”

“What?”

“Do you know how I became a loan shark?” Quint asks.

Moxxie nods. “Yeah, you wanted to help your mother who was struggling financially.” He says.

“My boyfriend helped me get the job. He told me he'd do anything to take care of me, he told me everything was going to be okay…”

“But, then he became greedy. He stole money from Crimson and tried to escape, leaving me behind… Crimson almost killed me too, but I begged him like there was no tomorrow, promised him that I'd do anything if he spared me…and so he did. If I ever tried to escape, if I ever thought to betray Crimson…he promised me a special place on his wall.”

Moxxie felt a chill down his spine.

“That's why me and Stu can't be together, I can't trust anyone.” He explains. “When I look at you and Chaz…I can't help but see me as Jasper. I don't want you to make an ass of yourself and do what I did. Chaz is just like him, he seems nice but he's so selfish, he'll never choose your safety over his happiness.”

“You don't know him. Chaz is a great guy, he loves me.” Moxxie says. “Even if he was as selfish as you say…he's a lot better than you are, or…him.” Moxxie says. “I'm sick and tired of everyone telling me that I'm not capable, that I can't be with Chaz if I want, like I'm a child who can't make my own decisions, I can. And I will.”

Quint sighs, his eyebrows furrowing. “You're right, I don't know him. But, I know you. I don't want you to do something you'll regret!”

“You don't know me.” Moxxie says. “I'm fine, and I never asked for your input!”

“I'm only trying to protect you!” Quint defends.

“No, you're not. You're projecting on me to make up for your own fucked up life, you never cared about me!” Moxxie shouts.

Quint looks at Moxxie, almost looking hurt by the comment made, but he says nothing about it. Instead he takes a breather and he nods. “I hope you're right. I hope he's actually a decent guy and cares about you. I'm just saying, I don't see it.” Quint gets up and walks away, leaving Moxxie to his own thoughts.

~~~Present:~~~

Quint was right about Chaz…and right about Moxxie. But, Moxxie was wrong…wrong about everything. Especially Quint, and he-

He never told him that he was sorry. Despite everything Moxxie did, despite Millie killing Stu and ruining his life…Quint still sacrificed himself to make sure Moxxie knew what Crimson was doing…

He knew he'd be killed, but did it anyway. Why?

“How- how could you?” Moxxie asks.

“You're lucky it wasn't you. Honestly, I should have gotten rid of you a long time ago. You've never been grateful no matter how much I've tried to make this work, tried to understand you” Crimson sighs. “I should have killed you a long time ago.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Moxxie asks softly.

Crimson’s eyes widened, as well as Moxxies, he clearly didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“Excuse me?” Crimson asks.

Moxxie starts shaking, he couldn't believe he just said that!

“What did you fucking say to me?” Crimson asks.

“N-nothing, S-sir!” Moxxie stammered.

Crimson walked slowly towards Moxxie who was walking backwards until he hit the wall. “Oh no, you said something, I heard you!” Crimson says, grabbing the smaller imp by the collar and lifting him up. “Answer me, now.”

“I-“

“I’m waiting!” Crimson shouts.

“I-I asked…” Moxxie tried to speak while also trying to catch his breath.

“I am not a patient man, Mox. You should know that better than anyone.” He says.

“I asked: why didn’t you kill me then… Sir.” Moxxie answers.

Crimson threw Moxxie onto the hard floor once again. “You ungrateful bitch!”

Crim grabbed Moxxie by the collar again. “You really want to know why?” He asks, “I’ll fucking tell you why.” He dragged Moxxie all the way to his office and threw him inside.

Moxxie hits the ground hard, his breathing quickens as he regrets his choice of words.

This was it… he was done for!

Crim closed and locked the door while Moxxie crawled away from him.

“As you could probably tell, your mother and I weren’t exactly in love; Far from it actually. We got married purely for her family to be protected, and mine to have some financial gain. No matter how much I hated the idea of marriage, they forced us to do it anyway.”

Moxxie looks at Crimson, wondering what this had to do with anything.

“I didn’t want to marry your mom, but we needed the money, not to mention someone needed to take over the business after me… so we did what we had to do to get you. The more she and I were together, the more we resented each other, and the more she disrespected me.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Moxxie finally asks.

“No one has ever loved me, Mox.” His father admits. “Not my parents, not my wife. At least that's what I thought. Until your mother died… and you started regressing.”

Moxxie was shocked. “What?”

“You were just so small…so helpless. All you wanted was for your daddy to hug you and protect you.”

“Your mom kept you as far away from me as she could when she was alive, it was like I finally had the chance to really be your father. I was finally loved by someone, respected…wanted.” He added.

Moxxie was not expecting that to be the explanation…

“You-“

“Your mother always made me out to be the bad guy, and sure, I am far from a good person… but, raising you made me think I could be close.” Crimson admits. “No matter what you did, no matter how mad you made me… I could never kill you.”

Moxxie sighs. And yet here they were. His father was as far from good as he could possibly be.

“I should have been there more, should have been a better father…I just wanted you to be as strong as you could be. But, I did care…I do.” Crimson says. “I want to be here now.”

Moxxie couldn't stop the tears that were pouring down his face without permission. “Of course I wanted that…” he says. “I was a kid! All kids want is protection, love, and comfort, they just want you to be there! But, you never gave me that! I was in constant fear my entire life, and you act like I owe you sympathy and respect! And why? Because you didn't kill your own child? That makes you some sort of hero? I gave you your chance, I gave you every day of my life, I gave you my entire childhood and innocence in hopes you would change, that you would care about me. I did everything you ever asked of me so you'd love me, so you'd care…it's too late for that now!” Moxxie says. “You already broke me.”

“Look, I know I fucked up-”

“Did you kill her too?” Moxxie asks.

“What?” Crimson asks.

“Mom…did you?” Moxxie asks again.

Crimson sighs. “Mox-“

“Answer the fucking question!” Moxxie demands.

Crimson sighs. “She threatened to turn us in, she went against the oath! Therefore, I had no choice!”

“Right.” Moxxie scoffs. “No choice.”

“I didn’t! I kept her alive longer than I wanted to for your sake!” Crimson admits. “She left me with no choice!”

“You would have taken any excuse!” Moxxie shouted. “You took my mother because she cared about me, while you couldn't even care about me enough to let her!” Moxxie says.

“She made her choice!” Crimson shouted.

Moxxie backs up into the wall, wishing he were anywhere else right now, or dead. Anything was better than this.

Crimson looks down at Moxxie. “Now…you make yours.”

Moxxie hugged himself tightly.

“You can stay here with me and Alessio, we'll make things right, take care of you the way we should have. You'll get back to your rightful place in the organization,” he lifts Moxxie's chin. “Right next to me.” He says.

“Or…you can remain regressed for the rest of your life. Even if your friends come for you, who's to say they won't turn away once they find out what you really are?” Crimson says. “What little use you'd serve them. Do you really think they'd want to deal with such an ungrateful brat?”

Moxxie blinks away the tears left in his eyes…

Crimson’s right.

He served no purpose, he only messed everything up!

How many times did Moxxie get Millie and Blitzø in danger? How many times would they have been better without him?

And that was without regressing, without being such a huge burden on Millie…

“You know something kid?” Crim walks over to his desk and lights his cigar. “You and your little self? You ain’t so different.”

Moxxie looks at Crimson again.

“Always changing yourself so people would like you. You need everyone to like you all the time. That's why you never regressed, that's why you were working for that dumbass. It's why anyone has ever liked you.”

“Like your mother…”

~~~Past, Moxxie age 5:~~~

Moxxie was being dragged back inside the house by his mother harshly.

“Moxxie…” She says angrily as she lets go of him. “What have I told you about running off on your own?” She asks.

“M'sorry, mama.” He says.

“I know.” She says, a tear falls down her face. “Sometimes I- I just don't know what to do with you. You are too much like your father. Do you want to be like him?” She asks harshly..

Moxxie knew the right answer. “No.”

“Then you have to stop. There is an order to things, you need to learn to do as you're told without question.” She says. “Understand me?”

“Yes, Mama.” He said.

His mother holds him close. “I love you very much, Chip. I only want to protect you. You know that, right?”

“I know.” He says. “I love you too.”

~~~Present:~~~

“Chaz…”

~~~Past:~~~

“Come on, Moxxie. Why won't you just tell me what’s going on?” Chaz asks him. The two of them had snuck him out of the mansion so they could hang out just the two of them. It was really the only way to be together. “What's the big secret?”

“You'll make fun of me.” Moxxie says.

“I won't make fun of you.” Chaz says. “I already think so little of you,” he rolls his eyes sarcastically. “Nothing you say will make me think any less.” He says, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I'm…a…” Moxxie hesitates to say…he doesn't want to ruin such a good thing- the only good thing he has! His breathing increases, but he's trying to calm down so he can speak-

“Are you trying to tell me you're a little, Moxxie?” Chaz guesses.

Moxxie looked up at him. “You- you knew?”

“I…figured it was…something.” He says. “Your family is soooo secretive. Even for the Mafia.”

“Oh.” Moxxie doesn't know what to say.

“Also, I'm forty percent caregiver, So, I have a knack for these things.” Chaz shrugs.

Chaz looks at Moxxie closely, realizing that he's freaking out. “Hey, relax, babe. I don’t care. This doesn't change a thing.” Chaz says.

“R-really?” Moxxie asks.

“Of course not. You're my boyfriend. You really think I'd leave you over that?” He asks. “That hurts.”

“I'm sorry.” Moxxie says. “It's just hard to trust people with it, especially when my dad acts like it's some kind of disease.” He explains.

“You know, I wouldn't looking after you sometime…if you want.” Chaz says.

“I don't know, Chaz. I don't even know anything about my little self.” Moxxie says. “I'd rather keep it that way.”

“What? They've never told you about your little self?” Chaz asks.

Moxxie shakes his head. “Not really, no. And I don't ask either. What if I'm annoying or more trouble than I'm worth?”

“You're already annoying and more trouble than you're worth, babe.” Chaz says. “It makes no difference to me. Just let me in, come on. Don't you trust me?” Chaz asks.

Moxxie nods. “Of course I do.”

“Then let me in! What makes you regress?”

“I'm not like other littles, Chaz. I was hypnotized and there are words to activate my…little headspace.” He explains.

“Nice, that makes things easier.” Chaz says. “What are the words?”

Moxxie gulps. “Uhm- I- I don't know, Chaz. I-”

“Come on, Moxxie, what's the problem?” He asks.

Moxxie curls into himself. “I just don't think it's a good idea, Chaz.” He says.

“Relax.” Chaz says, ruffling his hair. “I won't hurt you. I'm your boyfriend, I want to take care of you.” He says.

“I just-”

“I guess you just don't really trust me then.” Chaz says.

“No, I do. I just-”

“If you can’t even trust me, why are we even together?” Chaz asks.

Moxxie's heart sinks…

He loves Chaz! He can't lose him! He can't!

Chaz was the only one who actually seemed to want him around…he couldn't lose that!

“I do trust you! I promise!” Moxxie says.

“Prove it then.” Chaz told him.

Moxxie nods. “Do you promise you won't use it unless I give you explicit permission?” He asks.

“I promise.” Chaz says.

“Okay.” Moxxie writes down the words and hands it to him.

Chaz smiles.

~~~Present:~~~

Chaz did not keep that promise…or any promise actually. He never could, and yet Moxxie always believed him when he said he would!

He never hurt Moxxie…at least he doesn't think so. He just didn't respect him…at all.

Until that day…where his boyfriend and potential caregiver betrayed him and left him in that awful prison…

He gave Chaz everything he had, there was very little left of him…

Quint was right about him.

But he wasn't Quint, he trusted again.

He had a family, he moved on…

But, maybe he shouldn't have…?

“Your boss, Blitzø…” Crimson continues to list.

~~~Past:~~~

“Thanks again for the help, Mox. Let me give you a lift home. My van should be around here somewhere.” Blitzø says.

They had just escaped prison with Blitzø's chaotic plan. He handled worse thought out plans before, but he was surprised by how easy they made it out despite Blitzø's ridiculous scheme.

“Ah, here it is. Hop in.” Blitzø instructed once they found the sketchy vehicle.

If Moxxie felt he had any future at all, he’d be more hesitant about entering a stranger who he met in jail’s van. But he did anyway. If he really was a terrible person, he'd have a better chance than at home.

“So, where do you live?” Blitzø asks.

“Well… I used to live here but- but-“ Moxxie starts breathing heavily.

“Woah, you good?” Blitzø asks him.

Tears pour down Moxxie’s face uncontrollably. He shakes his head. “I-I can’t go back, he’ll kill me.” He says. “But I have nowhere else to go…I don’t have any friends or family! I’m alone!” He says.

“Okay- okay, geez. Please, calm down.” Blitzø says. “Christ on a stick you’re giving me a headache!” He complains.

Moxxie calms down as best he can. “M’sorry.” He says. “This has been the worst day of my life…and it has a lot to be compared to.”

Blitzø thought for a moment…”Tell you what, I’ll take you home with me tonight, then we can figure out what to do with you tomorrow, kay? That sound fair to you?”

Moxxie was shocked, this guy was seriously going to help him? “Really?”

Blitzø groans. “Yes, really. Don’t get all sappy on me, alright? You’re just so pathetic I can’t allow you to wander the streets like a lost puppy.”

“Thank you, sir.” Moxxie says. “I really appreciate this!”

“You’d better.” Blitzø says. “I have a lot to explain to my daughter. She's not going to take this well.”

And she didn't.

~~~

Blitzø took him in…he took care of him. Of course he cared about what Blitzø thought…

Of course he wants to impress him! He hated disappointing Blitzø!

‘I'm hard on you because I know what you're capable of, Mox.’ He had said to him.

Blitzø was…he isn't always the nicest or the best person…but he never gave up on Moxxie, and as annoying as Blitzø can be, he was always there to help and defend him when he needed it.

They fought together. No matter what the situation.

Blitzø has always been there, even when he didn't want him to.

But…how long would that last? Would he stick around if he knew who Moxxie really was?

~~~Present:~~~

“Your beard…” Crim says. “Mildred.”

. . .

~~~Past:~~~

“My DVD player broke, do you have one at your place?” Millie asked him.

They had planned their very first date, they were supposed to go to Millie’s to watch singing in the rain and some zombie movie.

“My place? Uh- yeah. Sure. Let me just talk to Blitzø.” He says.

“Alright.”

Moxxie hung up the phone and braced himself .

“Um, sir?” Moxxie asks.

“What's up?”

“I was wondering if it would be okay if this Friday I could borrow the DVD player…and the apartment.” He says.

“Why? Got a date?” He asks.

“I have…a friend coming over.” Moxxie says.

“Who is it?”

“None of your business.” Moxxie says.

“It is if you want to use my DVD player.” Blitzø says. “And my whole apartment.”

Moxxie sighs. “It's…Millie.

“Fucking knew it! Loony, you owe me twenty dollars!”

“Fuck!” Loona curses.

“I'm so happy for ya, Mox. I knew there was something going on with you two.” Blitzø elbows him as a form of affection.

“She's only coming over to hang out. It's nothing serious.” Moxxie says.

“Oh sure.” Blitzø nods. “Just remember when you two get married, I get to be the best man.”

Moxxie rolls his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

~~~Days later:~~~

There was a knock at the door, so Moxxie and Blitzø raced to open it.

Moxxie won and opened the door. “Millie! Hi!” He says.

“I brought snacks!” Millie says. “To make up for the change of plans.”

“Now isn't that nice?” Blitzø asks. “She's a keeper.”

“Don't you have someplace better to be?” Moxxie asks him.

“Okay, hint taken, I'm leaving. Just want you to know, I'll be back at ten. Don't do anything I would do.

“Okay, Blitzø.” Moxxie rolls his eyes. “You can leave now.”

“Love ya, Mox. Use protection.” Blitzø teases before closing the door behind him.

Millie turns to Moxxie who laughs awkwardly. “I'm sorry about him.” Moxxie says.

“Oh, that's alright. I have an older brother too. It's cute that he cares so much about you.” Millie says.

“He's not my brother and he doesn't care, he's just an annoying asshole.”

Millie chuckles. “Could have fooled me.”

~~~~~~

As they watched the movies, they slowly moved closer together. They discussed both of them for hours, giving their critiques and opinions.

“Gene Kelly has a way of making me love a self centered asshole.” Millie says.

“I know right? He has no right being that adorable.” Moxxie says. “And don't get me started on Debbi Reynolds.”

Millie smiles. “Why not? I want to hear it.” She says.

Moxxie chuckles. “She's just…amazing. That's all.”

Millie nods. “I agree. They're all very talented. Personally I love the friend.”

“Donald o’ Conner. Very underrated. I could watch him dance until hell freezes over.” Moxxie says.

Millie smiled at him, and suddenly everything made sense.

Suddenly, Moxxie felt safe with someone, felt his opinions mattered, that he mattered. He wanted to keep Millie safe because of it, make her feel like she mattered.

He wanted her to feel the way she made him feel.

He wanted this feeling of being okay, of being secure to stay as long as possible…

For that to happen, he knew he couldn't tell her the truth…

Moxxie never regressed after leaving his father's house…he's never told anyone about it.

Not even Millie.

He just couldn't.

Even if he wanted to- which he really didn't. He couldn't. He couldn't put that on her, his little self had to be locked away for good for them to work! It had to!

But what would Millie have done if she knew about him? Would she have left…?

~~~Present:~~~

Would she have abandoned him and found someone else?

Would she have been ashamed?

Moxxie looked up at his father with determination. “No. No, not Millie! I love Millie, and she- she loves me! For who I am not for what I do!” He says.

“She loves you? No, she loves to control you, Mox. Can’t you see that? She likes telling you what to do and you just let her; that’s why she stays with you!” Crimson explains.

“That’s not true!” Moxxie says. “You don't know her!”

“No? Then why didn’t you tell her about your regression?” He asks. “Why didn’t you tell her about us?”

“I-“ Moxxie’s eyes tear up. “I just couldn't.”

“Was it because you were scared she wouldn’t like you if she knew your pathetic little secret? Were you scared she might’ve rejected you?” He asks. “Or maybe you were scared that she would use it against you.” Crimson suggests.

Moxxie’s tears fell faster, Millie loved him! She never would’ve used his regression the way his father did! She never would have hurt him!

She never would! She was everything.

The only reason to live.

Why did Moxxie think he could be happy…? Why did he think he deserved her?

He should have listened to his mom! He shouldn’t have dragged Millie into this!

He loved Millie so much, it hurt.

It always hurt!

And now that he can’t hurt in a way that made him feel alive, there was nothing left in him. He was lifeless and life was pointless.

He wasn’t strong enough for her.

He could never be worthy of her.

Her perfect glowing soul.

There was no one like her.

No one…

He wished he could have told her that more before everything fell apart…

At least one more time.

He was so sorry.

But he knew they couldn't stand a chance if he let his past hurt her…

Let his little self out.

He had to kill that part of him.

Kill the child that loved his father, who wanted to please his parents.

He had to kill the man who loved Chaz, the one who trusted those who hurt him…

He had to kill the weakest parts of him.

She didn't deserve that pressure, that weight and responsibility.

He had to lie! He had to!

“I’m the only one you can trust, Moxxie.” Crimson says, bringing the smaller imps attention back on him. “I’ve lost more from you than I’ve ever gained. I have nothing to gain from you, but I love you anyway. I know you better than any of them ever could. Do you understand that?” His father asked.

Moxxie froze…

He's never heard Crimson say that before…

“You…you love me?” Moxxie asks softly.

“Of course I do, kid.” Crimson says. “Come here.” He says, pulling his son close, setting him on his lap and holding him.

Moxxie accepts the hug, holding his father close despite the fact he knew what was coming…

He felt weak…like there was no point in fighting it anymore…

“Dad?”

“What?”

“If this is what you really want and you promise to let the other little’s go… I'll stay willingly.”

“Really?” Crimson asks.

“Yes, just-”

Crimson raises an eyebrow.

“Keep me little. I don’t want to fight it anymore, I'm done trying.” Moxxie says. “At least my little self can still believe in his heros. I can't believe in anyone.”

Crimson pet Moxxie’s hair gently.

“Quiet time.”

'You have to understand that

The one I killed is me,

Changing what I was

For what you wanted me to be.

I followed your direction,

Did everything you asked,

I hope that makes you happy,

'Cause there's just no turning back.' ~Alec Benjamin, if I killed someone for you.

TAG: @todayimfour

#itty bitty imps #father knows best

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