#what if i go cordless bungee jumping

[seaofgoldensand]

me: why the fuck am i so emotional but also horny stardust: so hey your periods in 2 days, but jk it's today me: ...fuck off right now

[tsukimefuku]

POP, POP. TWICE A DAY.

Piece of original semi-fiction about dealing with psychiatric medication. Song that inspired this: Shiny Happy People (R.E.M.) content warning (DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT): dark content, mental illness, prescribed medication, su*cide ideation, graphic descriptions of ideation, this is a translation and rewrite of an old piece of mine. I’ve been struggling to deal with side effects so I wanted to put this out. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT IN A GOOD STATE OF MIND (I’m EXTREMELY serious).

The habit builds without you even noticing it. Pop, once when you wake up, and then pop, right before you go to sleep.

Pop, conveniently bottled up happiness twice a day.

Pop.

Pop.

Isn’t it just wonderful?

Oh, proper treatment? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Everything you’re given for your open fracture is a band-aid and you pray, you hope, you beg in your faithless pleads for the God you don’t even believe in that the band-aid, please, may it work. 

But as it would be expected from life and its never ending expertise in letting us down…

Of course it doesn’t.

You take a twisty and turny road around those benzos SSRI’s hypnotics anti-convulsivants anti-psychotics anti this and anti that and oh did you hear that opiate addiction is at an all time high? Yeah, I saw it on the news. And now this medication yes the one you use to sleep did you know they don’t have enough research done and maybe just maybe it might break your already broken brain forever?

What day is it today?

What time is it?

Why am I still here?

And when the band-aid can’t keep holding your broken bone together anymore (did it ever, really?), you start thinking about a splattered version of you all over the sidewalk after a cordless bungee jump. Perhaps, who knows, even a bedsheet bent neck would suffice. 

No taking anything, though.

You’ve taken enough.

And then, no more wandering around empty and boundless like a corpse who forgot to die.

The bedside clock rings and it’s time to wake up from a sleep you haven’t had in three days.

Pop.

Pop.

Twice a day.

[asinnersalibi]

Random things that've popped up in my head over the last 4 hours.

"Violence, but gayer."

"Why have the gods spite me today."

"✨ shapes and colors ✨"

"Why am I bleeding?"

"That's bread, Mother."

"People go scrunch sometimes, and that's okay."

"Who the fuck figured out we couldn't lick our elbows."

"Decapitation is the head honey, that's called amputating."

I should be writing right now

"No, mother, suicidal is wanting to jump off a cliff for the purpose of dying, I just want to see what happens." "You die!" "Yeah probably, but imagine the euphoric feeling that comes with the absolute freedom of freefall."

Cordless bungee jumping

"I probably need therapy"

I probably need therapy

I wonder if I could shoot that down

"They look like they're trying to sacrifice her"

"Have you ever wondered when we developed our intuition?"

"Mother. I crave violence."

"One day, my hair will be long enough to suffocate people. . . That'd be a terrible murder weapon."

📷

"Gambare gambare"

I probably need therapy

"✨ shapes and colors ✨"

"oi oi nanami oi oi oi oi oiiii"

See, that wasn't so hard. Why couldn't you just do that in the first place? That took you ten minutes.

"I have an essay I'm supposed to be writing," but the impending feeling of expectation is making it very hard to do.

https://youtu.be/e8A7I2xoox8

"I'd fight God and die trying."

"Have you told your father happy father's day?" "Why?" and again "Have you told your father happy father's day?" "Happy father's day."

I wanna go home

"I could foster children."

Sa - yo - na - ra

Fun fact, when I started teaching myself Japanese, this was the first thing I learned how to write in hiragana. さよなら

Sa (さ) yo (よ) na (な) ra (ら)

Quotation marks are things I shamelessly said out loud.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Thought I Couldn't Top It, Huh? OVER 2000 Questions! (Truly the Longest!) Created by distortedcognition Part 5

x__Odd Questions__x

What color is the bottom of your tongue? Pink and whiteish. Your foot? White, like the rest of my skin. Do you have any medical problems concerning feet? No. Do you secretly fantasize about George W. Bush? Uh, no... Do you chew on your homework? No... Pencils? No, I’ve never chewed on any writing utensils or school supplies. Do you read the dictionary? No, not even when I’m super bored. Encyclopedia? When I was a kid I had some that were made for kids that I liked.

Atlas? No. Road map? No, that’s what GPS is for. 

Do you memorize random facts? Sure.

Do you stalk anyone? No.

Does anyone stalk you? Not that I know of... Do you collect dust? Not purposefully, but since I don’t dust I guess I do.... :X Lint? No. Baby teeth? No. Have you ever thought of becoming a prostitute? No. Do you use lotion on your feet? Yeah. Have you ever played a kazoo? Nope. Have you ever shot someone? Uh, no. Something? A target. How many pairs of underwear do you own? Several. Jeans? A few. What ring size are you? Like a 7 or 8. Belt size? I’m not sure, I never wear belts. Have you ever gotten anything amputated? No. Do you have a calendar from 2001 hanging in your room? No. That would be quite outdated. Do you eat a lot? I wish I could eat more so I could gain some weight. Do you get excited over cameras? No. Do you have a strange obsession with pickles? No, but I l like them. Poison? Uh, no. I’d like to avoid poison, please. Knives? No. Cheese? I love cheese. Penguins? No.

Bald people? No.

Pirates? No. Corny jokes? I am a sucker for corny and punny jokes. Are you a virgin? I am. Have you ever tied your tooth to a door to lose it? No. Do you bite yourself? No. Do you get cold sores often? No, thankfully. Those hurt so bad. Do you have a cold right now? No. Do you suffer from chronic migraines? No. Do you like to touch sharp objects? Uh, no. Do you have a twitching problem? No. What do you do on the computer? I spend most of my time on it scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, watching YouTube, and playing The Sims. Anything your parents should know about? Not that I can think of. Are you happy with your life? :/ Is everybody else happy with your life? Uhh, probably not. Do you like 100% white grape juice? No. How big is the universe? Bigger than you can even imagine. How many hours of sleep do you get every night? A few hours at most. What do you dream about? Random shit. Do you enjoy bungee jumping? I would never go bungee jumping. Do you have AIM? Well, not anymore since it doesn’t exist. I hadn’t used it since like 2009 anyway. MSN? No, I never had MSN. YIM? Not anymore. Is that still a thing? A Neopets account? I highly doubt my account still exists out there since I haven’t been on it since the early 2000s. I don’t even know Neopets is still around. A Vampirefreaks account? No. A Quizilla account? No. A Bzoink account? No. Do you watch bugs crawl on the floor? Ew, no. Do you follow the bugs that crawl on the floor? Absolutely not. Do you get attacked by ladybugs? NO, thankfully. Are you scared of everything that breathes? Ha, I know I’m a big scardy cat but I wouldn’t say that sheesh. Are you scared of anything at all? Yeah, a lot of things. What? A lot of things. Which cardinal direction do you like best? The one that takes me in the right direction at the time. Do you have a life? Nope.

Then why are you taking this? Because I don’t have a life. Do you have a microphone on your computer? Yeah. A webcam? Yeah. A scanner? Yes. A printer? Yes. A cordless mouse? No. I have a laptop and just use the trackpad. Does your mouse light up? -- What kind of computer do you have? A MacBook Air. Were you ever physically abused? No. Verbally? No. Sexually? No. Do you wish you were a fish? Nah, I’m good. A cat? No. A dog? No. Do you have a cell phone? I do. What kind is it? It’s an iPhone 12 Pro Max. Do your teachers like you? My teachers always loved me. Do your parents like you? My parents love me. Do your siblings like you? Yes. Does karma, if it exists, love you? I don’t believe in karma. Did you have a tail when you were born? No. Do you enjoy school? I enjoyed parts of it.  Are you a packrat? I do have a hard time getting rid of stuff. Do you know HTML or CSS? I know some very basic HTML. Do you find yourself chewing on anything your fingers have touched? My food? Do you shy away from social situations? Yes. Are you obsessed with shiny things? No. Are you at least attracted to them? I do find them pretty to look at, sure. Do you smash guitars or any other type of instrument? No. I don’t understand that. Are you proud of doing so?  -- So. How bad can I make you look? Why do you want to make me look bad? Besides, I do that well enough on my own.

Do you wash your hands frequently? Yeah, especially since the start of the pandemic. Do you wet the bed? No. What age did you stop? When I was a little kid. Do you lie a lot? No. Have you lied at all in this survey? Nope. I have no reason to. Do you forget to brush your teeth frequently? No, I don’t forget to brush my teeth. Do you brush your hair? Yeah. Do you use antismelly? No. I don’t even know what that is. Are you an alcoholic? No, I don’t even drink. A druggie? Nope, I don’t do drugs. Do you drink illegally? I’m 32 I can do so if I wanted to. Do you wear underwear? Yes. Do you change it frequently? Everyday. Are you a coward? Yeah, you could say that. A loser? Yes. An idiot? Yep. Do you text talk? I use “lol”, “wtf”, “wth”, “omg”, but otherwise no I don’t like to use shorthand. Are you a bad friend? :/ Are you untrustworthy? No. Unreliable? I feel like I haven’t been the most the reliable these past few years. Do you pick your nose? No. Are you imperfect? Yes. Ugly? Yes. Do you have bad hair? Yes. A big nose? No, I don’t think so. Are you shallow? No. Greedy? No. Do you tell people you love them just to get what you want? No, definitely not. I don’t throw those words around and only say it if I mean it. Do you have any /important/ talents? I have no talents. Are you impolite? No, I don’t think so. Disrespectful? No. Do you have buck teeth? No. Acne? Not currently. Mentall illnesses? Yes. Does your breath smell? I hope not. Do you have a strong body odor? No. Do you have bad teeth? I would like to get veneers. Are you overweight? No, I’m too underweight. Anorexic? No. Bulimic? No. Do you have a piercing in an inappropriate spot on your body? No. A tattoo? Nope. Are you a wannabe? Yeah, I wannabe healthy and happy, ha. Do you get bad grades? I got A’s and B’s. Are you a bad guesser? Yeah, I suck. Just tell me what it is. Are you bad at reading people? I think I do a fairly good job at it, actually. Are you too nice for your own good? I used to be that way and got taken advantage of. Do you have a lot of friends? I have zero friends. Do you give in easily? I usually do. Are you stubborn? Very. Are you annoying? I feel like I am. Are you a necrophilliac? No. Are you incestuous? No. Is your room messy? It could use a little straightening up, but it’s not too bad. Do you make fun of other people? No. Do you respect your body? I guess you could say I don’t since there’s things I should be doing to take better care of myself that I don’t do. :/ I’ve neglected myself in a lot of ways. Are you arrogant? No. Do you have low self-esteem? Very. Are you unique? I don’t think I am. Are your hands clammy? No. Are you short? I am. Are you freakishly tall? No. Do you like Simple Plan? I liked some of their songs. It’s been awhile since I’ve listened to them, though.

[salvatoreschool]

Legacies Boss Explains What Hope's Finale Sacrifice Means for Season 2

Hope Mikaelson followed in her father’s footsteps on Thursday’s Legacies season finale — and not in a good way. After rescuing Landon from Clarke (and a headless horseman) and finally dropping the L-bomb, Hope did a cordless bungee jump into the pit, correctly theorizing that her tribrid nature would stop Malivore (also the creation of a witch, vampire and werewolf) from being revived.

Unfortunately, things weren’t any better back in Mystic Falls. An army of Triad goons — including MG’s mom and a handsome devil named Burr — stormed the Salvatore School, using a dark object to nullify the students’ powers. Though the good guys eventually prevailed, Josie nearly died after taking a supernatural bullet meant for her sister. As for Burr, MG’s gorgon girlfriend turned him to stone before skipping town, so he can fill in as the garden’s new gargoyle statue.

Once the madness subsided, Alaric delivered a passionate apology to the student body. He brought the Travelers’ dark object into the school as a back-up plan in case the world ever needed protection from one of his own. He shared that plan with concerned parents (including MG’s mom), putting everyone at risk with his ignorance. The honor council will decide his fate.

And here’s the kicker: Because Hope dove into Malivore, all memory of her existence has been erased from her friends’ minds. This presents an immediate problem for Rafael, who used Hope’s magic jewelry to turn into a wolf… and only she can turn him back.

Below, series creator Julie Plec answers our burning questions about the finale, including what really happened to Hope:

TVLINE | I have to get this first question out of the way: Did you name this villain Burr because of Hamilton?

I cannot take credit for his name. I almost think his name is too over the top because of Hamilton. Whenever someone says his name, I go, “Are you Aaron Burr, sir?”

TVLINE | OK, onto more pressing matters: Is Wickery Bridge really gone for good?

[Laughs] They’re going to have to do something, especially because the people who run that bridge charge us an arm and a leg to shoot there. So it’ll have some cosmetic upgrades.

TVLINE | Well, I appreciated that callback. And you mentioned the Travelers, which are among the less-memorable Vampire Diaries villains. Do you just have a list of references at your disposal?

Honestly, Brett [Matthews] and I have just been in that world for so long and have loved it so much. We think half the fun of Legacies is the nostalgia, paying honor and homage to where we came from and the roots of the show. That stuff comes naturally, which is great.

TVLINE | Speaking of deep cuts, was that an ascendant that Josie and Lizzie found?

Oh, it sure was. And if you recall, when Bonnie Bennett put Kai in the prison world, it was because the twins — at age three — spelled that ascendant for her.

TVLINE | And here I am, proud of myself just for remembering what an ascendant is.

That was an easy-to-forget detail. The reason it looks familiar to them is because they magically whammied it to make it work when Bonnie needed to put Kai away. … Ultimately, they’re going to need to figure out how that ascendant works and what it means for them.

TVLINE | You keep mentioning Kai. Do you have plans for him if Chris Wood agrees to return?

Yeah. It’s funny, and I’m really being cruel to myself and to Chris — but I’m basically Secret-ing this into happening. I’ve put it so much into the universe, it’s going to end up an inevitability. He just doesn’t know it yet. [Laughs]

TVLINE | Fair enough. Shifting gears entirely, is Hope dead or just in that Malivore dimension?

I think that’s the question. In her mind, jumping into the pit would destroy Malivore. And it appears that Malivore — at least in its physical mud-pit form — is gone. So where the hell is she, and why can’t anyone remember her? The fact that no one can remember her probably means she’s in that blackness, which the monsters described as being this terrible place.

TVLINE | Another mythology question: If Hope dies, she’ll come back as a vampire?

We’ve had a lot of fun asking those questions in the writers’ room, and we’ve realized that there are no rules just yet. We get to live them as we go along. If Hope dies, she presumably comes back as a vampire. But if the monsters didn’t die in the pit, did she? And if she comes back as a vampire, does that make her no longer a witch? Or is she now truly a tribrid with powers of all three creatures? Lots of questions, and lots of seasons.

TVLINE | Will Malivore take on a handsome, CW-appropriate form someday, or is he always going to look like that weird golem creature?

His intentions, as Clarke explained, were to inhabit Landon as his physical human form so he could procreate and not walk around as a monster. If Landon is able to prevent that from happening, who knows what opportunities await for Malivore?

TVLINE | I also want to know about MG. Any chance he’s going to keep in touch with his gorgon lady friend?

[Laughs] He certainly does seem smitten, doesn’t he? Maybe they have a future as pen pals.

TVLINE | And Rafael? He seems like he’s in a pretty bad spot.

He’s f–ed, basically. Hope had said in a previous episode that he can use the ring to turn into a werewolf, but she’s the only one who can turn him back. He doesn’t realize that the one person who can fix him is no longer in existence. Rafael will start Season 2 still as a wolf, which will do a huge number on him, psychologically speaking. It’s going to affect his relationship with everybody.

[howtohero]

#089 Being a Role Model

As we’ve said before (I don’t even know what to link that to, I’m sure it’s come up though), superheroes are very public figures. Almost aggressively public, what with the bright flashy unitards and the constant sonic booms and whatnot. Superheroes are also (for the most part) super cool looking, and their lifestyle might even seem appealing so some. Especially children. Tiny, small-brained, impressionable children. And that means, if you want to be a superhero, you’re going to need to learn how to be a good role model.

Even children who sadly live in universes where there are no superheroes will try to emulate the fictional heroes they see in comics or movies or really cool commercials for law firms (all law firm commercials should have superheroes) so it stands to reason that children existing in universes that actually have superheroes will, like, doubly try to emulate them. (Look, I know superheroes aren’t even really technically law-abiding citizens what with the illegal vigilantism and occasional imprisonment of villains in shadow dimensions without due process. I’m just saying it would make for a really cool commercial!) So superheroes that exist in universes that have a. real superheroes, and b. real children, need to be conscious of how their actions might be viewed by these children. For example, sure, superheroes can run out into the middle of traffic to chase down an ice cream truck no problem. Many superheroes have the secondary power of being immune to traffic, but, if they do this then there is a very good chance that children across the galaxy will attempt similar stunts in the hopes of catching the ice cream truck and getting some of that cold, creamy, goodness. But children are not immune to traffic. In fact, they are especially susceptible to traffic due to their small size and lack of spatial awareness. So superheroes should not go chasing after ice cream trucks. They should just wait for them to stop moving. Like a regular person. And I know, you’re probably thinking, “Zach, if I can’t bolt into traffic in pursuit of ice cream then why do I even have powers?” to which I respond, “Well, random superhero, I don’t know why you have powers but it might have something to do with your propensity to wander into gamma-bomb testing facilities,” and you will be upset because not only did I accurately guess your origin story on the first try but I also never really answered your question. (Like, it’s not even just law firm commercials that we think should have superheroes in them. All commercials should. We just believe that there is an almost criminal deficit in the number of law firm commercials that have superheroes in them.)

Now, obviously superheroes can’t live their life not doing dangerous things for fear that a nearby small child will be injured trying to wrestle a seven-foot-tall, rabid turkey demon into submission just like their favorite hero. Superheroing is an inherently dangerous job, there’s no getting around that. But, that being said, you should avoid taking unnecessary risks. Especially within view of children (and make sure you account for Ivan, the hundred-eyed, all-seeing child who, despite his mutation and superpowers, is not a superhero and his mother kindly asked us to tell all of you team leaders to stop trying to recruit him. He is seven). If you need to light yourself on fire in order to fight a treeant or avoid being captured by ninjas that’s fine. But don’t go setting yourself on fire just to go to the store to pick up a newspaper (for one, the newspaper would be incinerated). It’s important to show children that doing dangerous things just for fun is not cool. Kids are very hung up on what’s cool. Anytime you see a child you should remind them that setting themselves on fire or going to the moon without a space suit is lame.  

If you want to be a superhero who just half-asses being a good role model, simply not doing dangerous things is enough. But here at Howtohero we like to inspire would be heroes to be the very best superheroes they can be! So we’re gonna give you more stuff to do! In addition to not attaching their image to dangerous things like cordless bungee-jumping and gorilla tickling, superheroes should make an effort to attach their name, image and personal brand to noble causes. Help out at your local soup kitchen (or use your power to turn dirty puddle water into delicious nutritious soup), pass out books to children, appear in anti-drug and anti-being-kidnapped-by-van-driving-and-/or-wielding-fiends PSAs. Eat vegetables and go to bed when your parents (or actors who were paid to portray your parents if your parents were gunned down in an alley or on your planet when it exploded) tell you to on live television. Guest star on kids shows and sing songs about sharing and how to say all the colors in Spanish with fun, whimsical puppets. 

Being a good role model to children will have the added benefit of doing wonders for your reputation, even among the adult population, and, if you allow all these good deeds that you’re doing to penetrate that icy-cool exterior of yours, make you a better person and a better hero. So stop shooting yourself in the chest to show how bullet proof you are and jumping off of roofs with an umbrella to show how gravity-proof you are and start showing up on posters telling children to read and passing out warm meals to the needy. Use your reputation to make the world a better place, don’t just be a superhero, be a super person too.