#what kinda surprised me this go round is the idea that Eddie could maybe love Roland is dropped in REALLY early

[wandringaesthetic]

I still haven't watched The Dark Tower movie and since I never heard anything positive about it I maybe never will and I am literal years late to this discourse

But. I was thinking about this because I'm rereading Drawing of the Three for the first time in... 20 (!!!!) years.

Hypothetically, it's a good and cool thing to cast Idris Elba as Roland and I didn't really think anything negative about it at the time.

But really. Really he needs to be some Clint Eastwood adjacent guy because of the whole role the figure of the gunslinger plays in the cultural zeitgeist, yeah? Something about masculinity and violence and the American psyche. Something something something. Like. This guy actually probably needs to be a white guy to effectively represent everything he represents.

Because, yessss, Roland is the protagonist but I think if you're thinking of Roland as the hero or the good guy or w/e you probably have the wrong idea.

[intergalacticaquarium]

Birthday Trip

Summary: the year is 2022 and it's Eddie's 57th birthday! His wife Sam and his adult daughter Jess plan a trip to the newly opened legal weed dispensery to celebrate and have some family bonding in the car

A/N- I started writing this like a month ago when i went to the weed store and I started thinking abt how Eddie would react and I finally finished it! Just a cute little story with a lot of gentle ribbing and love for a guy who definitely is living a long and happy life rn

Contains: Dad!Eddie, obviously, bullying via bowling for soup, some kinda meta content, and a lot of shade thrown at his canon ending that feels extremely in character to me, and as always Eddie is a little gremlin. He doesn't age out of that one.

Enjoy!

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(other fics)

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Eddie opened one eye at a time and saw his wife, Sam, still sleeping. He smiled even though she drooled a little out of the corner of her mouth, and wondered a little at how young and beautiful she still looked even after so long, he swore she hadn't aged since they started dating and whatever age she was showing only made her pretty face more beautiful. 

He, however, felt the opposite. Today was his birthday. His….fifty seventh birthday. Eddie shuddered just thinking about it and brushed his- still unruly and wild though slightly shorter - hair and tried to ignore all the wiry grays. 

He got up and started breakfast, hoping that maybe everybody would just forget and he'd get to stay 56 for another year. 

Or 25, for that matter. 

Eventually Sam woke up and he grinned. They'd been married over 30 years now and every morning he still got butterflies at her sleepy face first thing in the morning. She came over and kissed his cheek. He grimaced from the morning breath but still felt the warmth on his cheek where her lips touched it for a moment. 

"Happy birthday!" She said, her voice still a little groggy and it was followed by a yawn. "Jess told me not to plan anything for this afternoon because she had an idea." 

Eddie smiled a little. Their daughter Jess was an odd one, just like the two of them were, so he figured that whatever she had planned was probably good. Though he was sure Sam wished she hadn't wanted to keep it a surprise since he was usually not able to think of anything else until he knew what it was.

A couple hours later Jess parked in the driveway and let herself in. When she saw her parents sitting on the couch she grinned, going over to hug her dad. 

"Happy birthday! How old are you, again?" She asked, and Eddie just sighed. 

"Fifty seven. He's getting old. Not like me, since, yknow, I married an older man and all." His wife teased, and he rolled his eyes. 

"Sam you're a year younger than me, you can't call me old." He said and his wife and daughter laughed. He smiled to himself, still loving the sound. 

Jess rounded them excitedly into the car and her mom took the back so the birthday boy could have shotgun. 

"Soooo, where are we going?" Eddie asked, and his daughter eyed him mischievously.

"I'll tell you when we get closer."

"Can we put on some music?"

Jess reached out to start playing with the radio and Eddie frowned.

"It's my birthday, why don't I get to choose?" He complained.

"Driver gets to pick the music, you made the rule to make me listen to dad rock for a million years now it's my turn." She said, and he grumbled. 

"Dad rock." He scoffed " you always call it that like it means it's not cool. Dad's do rock!" He said in an over exaggerated voice and started to play air guitar, to the annoyed groans of everybody in the car.

"Every time." Sam said from the back with a laugh. 

"Daaad- my car is too small for headbanging." Eddie grinned at his daughter's fond fake annoyance that had replaced her pure teen annoyance at the joke years ago. 

"And it's not like nobody thinks it's cool anymore- last summer your mom and I went to a Metallica show and it was packed."

"Even Metallica doesn't think that's cool anymore." Jess shot back with an eye roll.

"How is that different than the tears for fears show you two dragged me to a couple years ago."

"Ooooh that was such a good show." Jess said, and Sam agreed. 

"Okay, if the driver gets to pick the music, then let me drive."

"You don't know where we're going." His daughter teased.

"Then tell me!" He said, getting excited. 

She pulled up to a red light and turned the radio on to whatever station it was already on and grinned conspiratorially. 

"Nope, it's a surprise."

A pop song started and Eddie frowned but didn't try to change it.

"Is this Taylor Swift?" He asked, and Jess glanced at me.

"It's not always Taylor Swift, you always guess her."

"They all sound like Taylor Swift."

"The video was Taylor Swift right?" Sam asked from the back, as if that was enough information for any kind of answer. She shook her head in exasperation.

"The Taylor Swift video with the girl from the show!" Sam tried to explain from the back and Jess grinned at the fact that her mom couldn't even remember the name of an actress they had met.

"What show?"

"She means Dustin's show, she's talking about Sadie Sink, she's the one playing Max. She did a project with Taylor Swift recently. We literally met her." Jess explained, an expert by now at deciphering her parents' clues as to what famous person they could possibly be talking about at any moment.

"Oh right, Sadie. God that was an uncanny resemblance." Eddie said, thinking back to when he met Max as a teenager and the actor that Dustin had cast with Max, who had insisted on being there because she needed to know that actress would make sure it was clear that she was much cooler than the rest of them. 

"Right? It was kinda spooky." Sam commented, and Eddie nodded.

The radio had been turned down but at a new song starting Jess grinned exactly as her parents groaned.

"Awesome- I was literally planning on playing this on the way!" She said, and her parents gave her loving death glares and Jess let out a satisfied cackle and turned the radio way up. 

"I'm being bullied on my birthday." Eddie complained, and Sam began to join in on the laughter, even though she hated the song and the amount of times she'd been forced to hear it to make her feel old as well. 

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana there was U2 and Blondie, music still on MTV

"28 years we have taken care of you and this is now you thank us?" He said sarcastically disappointed as she sang along louder.

"Her two kids in highschool, they tell her that she's uncool- cuz she's still preoccupied with 19 - 19- 1985." Both his wife and daughter sang along enthusiastically and he looked to the back seat in betrayal.

"Betrayed by my own family." He wailed dramatically as they sang along and he couldn't resist a grin seeing them so happy, even if it was at his expense. 

"When did motley crue become classic rock?"

"It's not."

"And when did Ozzy become an actor?"

"Jesus, I hate this song."

"Make! It! Stop! STOP!" They sang.

"Got it." Eddie took his moment to reach out and turn the radio off, to their protests.

"He told me to make it stop!" He said at their complaints. 

"And I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm hung up on 1986, not 85, because that was the year I met your mom, who I fell in love with instantly because she was the coolest, most badass girl in plaid pants and doc martens that I had ever seen." He said in an overly gooey voice and batted his eyes and his wife who grinned.

"Gross." Jess commented, but was ignored. 

"Awww, and you still had your bangs!" Sam giggled. 

"Wasn't 1986 the year you were accused of triple homicide?" Jess interrupted, and Eddie shrugged. 

"Other stuff happened that year, too." He complained, and Sam grinned. 

"Besides, everybody likes a bad boy." Sam said with a lovesick sounding voice. 

"Is a guy accused of triple homicide a bad boy to you?" She argued.

"Hey! I also listened to cool music and sold drugs. Also I was innocent." He said proudly.

"Wow. Dad, I love you, I am amazed that I even exist."

"Yeah, he had no game whatsoever." Sam piped in.

"Hey!"

"Am I wrong?" She challenged, with her always beautiful grin.

"I was doing alright before I realized I was flirting." He said defensively.

"It was cute!"

"Still not doing much to convince me of the bad boy thing." Jess prodded, and they rolled their eyes.

"Well, after he started dating I didn't call him a bad boy anymore. What did I switch to then, Eddie?" She said with an expectant smile.

He sighed "the bad at everything boy…." 

"Because of the time he almost died like an idiot?" Jess asked, and Sam nodded.

"Because of the time he almost died like an idiot." She said with a loving sigh. 

"But you only married me so you could remind me of it every day, right? That makes it worth it in my book." He said cockily. 

"Bummer- I would've married you anyway so I guess it was for nothing!"

"Dustin still thinks it was heroic"

"Dustin is wrong." Sam scolded.

"Have you talked to him lately? We should check in."

"Because you know that your character is coming in next season and you want details?"

Sam snorted from the back and started quietly giggling.

"What?"

She couldn't stop laughing now, and Eddie turned around to watch her cracking up and clapping

"Care to let us in on the joke Hon?" He asked cheerfully.

"I'm sorry this is gonna sound mean and I love you so much. But I did suggest that Dustin just let the bats kill your character for being an idiot." She said, exploded into giggles, and he looked at her scandalized.

"You are never gonna let that go are you?" He said, not without good humor. 

He'd be dead without Sam, would have sacrificed himself for no damn reason. He already had sacrificed himself, technically, until she grabbed his unconscious ass and dragged him up through a portal with Dustin to some medical attention. Within moments of him waking up she was yelling at him for wasting so much time and almost getting himself killed and  being so stupid. She had been so angry he was pretty sure that he had been about to lose her forever.

"God, I'm so sorry, Sammy. I really screwed up and if this is…it, then…. I get it." He had said miserably, feeling like he was about to lose everything. 

And then she was kissing him for the first time ever. Over and over again and all over his face and he was kissing her back and he was confused, certainly, but that didn't last long.. He understood more every second when he felt the way she was gripping onto his hair and his hospital gown and the tears he felt rolled off her nose onto cheek. She was sometimes frustrated when she could make people understand what she was saying, but now she explained everything without words. 

He didn't know what to do with somebody that cared that much. Love her back was what he went with, and never regretted it. 

He had been grateful, and she had been right when she had said he would have thrown his life away. Coming back into Hawkins made him feel like there was no chance his life could go back to normal after this. Nobody would ever believe he was innocent.

He spent a lot of the day trying to decide if heroically dying in the Upside Down would be better or worse than going to prison for a crime he didn't commit. He wouldn't deny that when he saw the bats coming it felt like an opportunity to make himself worth a damn. 

Only for him to lose consciousness hearing the girl he'd had a crush on for months cursing him out.

"Unbelievable. What kind of fucking idiot is he that he still thinks he's a coward after all this? Stupid asshole. What does he think he has to redeem himself for anyway? He didn't do anything fucking wrong. Until now, Jesus Christ did he not think about how little wiggle room this plan has? Did he really think we'd have time to drag his unconscious ass out of here?" 

Dustin was still sniffling. "Sam, I don't think he expected us to save him at all."

"Well then he's even dumber than I fucking thought." 

Eddie should've known Sam wouldn't have given up on him that easily. She fought for him to the point where he felt like an absolute moron for ever believing that she wouldn't brute force her way into a happy ending. 

    So he got to live, and got to be happy. With her, of all people. Sometimes he wondered if he was just having one last burst of chemicals in his brain before he really died, imagining a life he always wished for.

    If that’s what he got out of it, he thought that her being allowed to never let it go was more than a fair exchange. 

"You're gonna let the bats kill me? Seriously?" He asked in jest, kinda laughing at the absolute lack of narrative sense that would make but shrugging it off. 

"I'm not even in it, how do you think I feel?" Sam said with a laugh, despite the fact that she had asked to not be included for reasons she didn't share.

"Eh, it's fine. He's gotta add some inconsistencies or else it'll be too obvious that it's true."

"No it won't. I've heard the actual story a million times and it makes no fucking sense." Jess said, and her parents shrugged in concession.

"Alright, it's my birthday and I have been sufficiently bullied, can I please pick the music now?" He asked in a fake dejected tone.

"Fine, fine. You can pick the radio. The oldies station is number five." She said, and he turned it on. 

A song he didn't recognize was coming to a close and Jess gave an odd look at the console.

"I said five." She said, and he pressed it again but it remained on the same channel. 

And that was thanks for the memories by panic at the disco on classic oldies 101.4 the 70s, 80s, 90s, and 2000s.

"What?!" Jess shouted in horror. "That song is from, like, 2007 that's not oldies!" 

Eddie didn't try to hold back his laughter as she cast an angry look at him. 

"Karma worked fast!" Sam shrieked in delight from the back seat.

"Shut up! That song isn't that old!"

"No, no, it's not. But also, and I love you more than anything in the world, you do deserve this." Eddie said through his laughter.

"That's true. You have been pulling this specific card for years to make us feel old so I think this one is actually fate." Sam piped up.

"I'm just glad that we got to be here to see it together." Eddie sighed dreamily. "I don't even need another present."

"You sure? Cuz we're here but we can just go home if you want…" She teased, pulling into the parking lot and Eddie glanced up, his eyes widening. 

"Tada! The new legal weed dispensary."

Jess glanced at her dad and saw his big goofy smile.

"I didn't know one was actually opening!" He said in excitement and hopped out of the car, looking up at it in an impish and excited way that made him look oddly young to his daughter.

Sam and Jess walked up to the door and Eddie excitedly tailed behind them into the tiny space with a glass counter full of edibles and paraphernalia and a back wall lined with jars, looking a bit like a kid in a forbidden candy store. 

Behind the counter were two bored looking women on their phones who glanced up when they came back in and gave small smiles before looking back down.

"This is so weird! Like…is this really allowed?" Eddie said mischievously, and the four women in the store looked at him and nodded. Jess grinned at her mom because this was going exactly how they expected. 

He pointed to different jars and they let him smell the contents with a grin on his face.

"You guys must have, like, the best job ever." He said excitedly, glancing at the guy in the back filling up little cones to make joints in bulk.

All three employees shrugged.

"It's alright, but it's still just a job." They said, and the others agreed.

Sam glanced at her Dad and hoped he wasn't disappointed in the level of enthusiasm but he wasn't deterred in the slightest. He was looking at the sour candy edibles and he might not have even heard the answer.

"I used to sell weed,y'know. In the 80s." He said, and they nodded a little awkwardly. 

"I met my wife because she used to buy from me. Changed my life…" he said, glancing back at them affectionately. 

Jess glanced at her mom with her eyebrows raised and her mom.

"Okay we didn't get together because he was a drug dealer." She said defensively. 

"No, we got together because you were only into freaks." He said and turned back to the case, 

"Ew, what?" Jess said in disgust, and her dad turned back around in a full spin and pointed a finger at her.

"Not that kind of freak. 80s version of a freak. Y’know, anti establishment." He explained.

"I think it meant Super embarrassing." Sam said in a know it all voice

"Counterculture-" He defended, facing his wife fully with her silly smirk he loved.

"Attention seeking-" She tried 

"Totally metal-" he walked forward

"Ridiculous" She said, now standing close to him, and grabbing the end of his still long less voluminous hair.

"Badass-"  He said leaning in, and Sam grinned at how little time felt like it had passed. 

Yeah they had heartburn if they drank too much and usually fell asleep by nine but when she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye she saw her absurd and adorable metalhead boyfriend in 1986. Nothing about those big brown eyes had changed.

"Handsome-' she said in a sappy voice. Either they didn't notice the employees and their daughter staring, they didn't care, or they were being embarrassing on purpose.

"Rock star-"

"With big brown eyes like a baby cow." She finished lovingly, pecking him on the lips and he grinned with a laugh. 

"Yikes- I am so sorry about them. It's my dad's birthday and they've been going down quite the nostalgia trip."

Jess said apologetically, but they didn't seem any more or less annoyed when he turned back around, though all three women seemed to be peering at his eyes.

"Yeah I see it. The cow thing." Jess conceded, and the two women behind the counter nodded in agreement.

"Are you guys gonna buy something?" They asked and Eddie seemed to remember all of a sudden where they were and went back to the counter.

"Can I haaaaave some of the sour candies, and- five bucks a gram? That's not bad- ooh, is that bong shaped like a dinosaur?" 

Sam and Jess glanced at each other with grins at the sight of Eddie the freak Munson bouncing in excitement like a kid in a candy store as the still bored woman grabbed another jar so he could smell it. 

They eventually spent what was probably too much money but it was worth it to see Eddie walk out of there looking like he had pulled the heist of the century. The way he rushed the little black paper bag to the car looked like he was expecting them to change their minds and take it back when they remembered it wasn't allowed.  

"Good birthday present?" Jess asked with a grin, and her dad responded.

"The best." He asked with a grin, peeking in the bag to admire the purchases and then back to his family. 

Sure, it was a silly thing to be excited about, and he was sure a lot of parents out there would judge him and Sam for smoking with their daughter even if she was an adult- though most of them wouldn't hesitate to have a glass of wine with them at dinner. They teased him- a lot- but the things they brought up were so accurate and specific that he couldn't help but feel very known by them. Every time either of them bring up the dumpster story all they're saying is remember the time that you made us laugh so hard we cried? 

They got back onto the highway and he glanced at his wife and daughter and grinned, looking out the window, and silently reminded himself how grateful he was to have them. The kind of family that would take him to a dispensary like a toys r us because they knew that his favorite stuff was the stuff that felt a little bit not allowed. Like even though he was just an old dad that owned a tabletop games and hobby shop now but still was the rebel he used to be.

But now it was different, he was a rebel before sure. He liked who he was and refused change for anybody and said fuck whoever didn't like it. He had relished in it when people called him a freak but he still wanted somebody to see all those things and like them too. Not just like him despite them.

And he knew that the two women in that car loved him very much, because in every gentle tease was backed up by one underlying and undeniable fact that all three of them knew: he wasn't wasn't half as fuckin weird as either of them.  

Not even a contest. 

He grinned to himself and made eye contact with his wife in the backseat over the shoulder of their daughter driving and they both silently smiled. 

Maybe they were a family of freaks, but hey, 

Eddie had always loved the circus.

tag list

@eddiemunson4everr @seafoamgreenpng @sweet--em @pomme-fleur

[icannott]

Apartments (Mike Hanlon x Reader)

Requested: nope!! just a draft i had for a while that i finally finished :)

Pairing: Mike Hanlon x Reader

Warning: maybe swearing ? but im not entirely sure lol,, kinda long but im not sorry haha

a/n: PLEASE please please send in some requests guys!! im open for some wintery stuff now ;))

gif cred belongs to @cassieainsworth​

You met the losers when they occupied the two empty apartments across the hall from yours. They were fresh out of college, as were you, but you didn’t actually learn that for a few months.

The first run in you had with one of them was with Mike. Mike and Beverly were walking together to the laundry room, Bev chattering loudly about something while Mike--being a polite, attentive listener--nodded along and offered his thoughts.

You were just coming out of the laundry room and slightly struggling with your two baskets of clothes. Mike saw this and put his basket on top of Bev’s, promising to be right back and she nodded in understanding. Mike smoothly slipped the basket from your arm as Bev slipped into the laundry room.

“Oh, thanks,” you chuckled.

“No problem,” he said with a friendly smile that you returned gently. “I’m Mike Hanlon.”

“[name] [last name],” you offered.

“Beautiful name,” he charmed. You blushed. “So [name], why all the clothes?”

“I just got back from a trip,” you said brightly.

“Oh, really?” he questioned politely. “Where did you go?”

“Well, actually my friend was supposed to go on a trip with her boyfriend for their two year anniversary, but he dumped her,” you sighed. He cringed in sympathy. “Yeah, I know. Total jerk. Anyway, she had me come with her instead. We went to Hawaii for two weeks.”

He nodded. “Sounds nice. Bet you got better weather than we have here,” he joked, throwing a pointed look to the window at the end of the hall, where the raging storm outside was apparent.

“Yeah,” you laughed. “Oh, my apartment’s just right here.” You set the basket down and unlocked your door, opening it and motioning for him to follow you. You both placed the baskets down on your table. You smiled at each other as he moved to stand outside. 

“Thanks so much for the help,” you smiled.

“No problem,” he chuckled. “You know, my apartment’s just across the hall.” He leaned back and pointed to the wooden door.

“Oh,” you drawled. “You’re the people who moved in... a month ago?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Great to finally meet you,” you giggled. “Well, if you ever need anything, I’m right across the hall.”

“Thanks,” he smiled, waving as he walked away. You closed your door with a grin. 

The next losers you met were Bill and Eddie in the coffee shop across the street from the apartment. 

It was a cold, snowy winter day and you were temporarily working at the small shop while you searched for a definite job. You were working one of the later shifts when the boys walked in with Mike. You were wiping down the counter, as only a few costumers remained spread throughout the round tables in the shop. You looked up when you heard the bell ding and smiled to yourself when you saw Mike. You went back to wiping as to look inconspicuous.

“[name]!” Mike exclaimed. Since you first met, you had a few encounters with each other that brought you to a friendly status.

“Hey, Mike,” you chuckled as the boys approached the counter. “Lovely weather we’re having.”

“Oh, definitely,” he joked, nodding as if he were serious. You laughed. He gave you a grin. “[name], these are my friends Bill Denbrough and Eddie Kaspbrak. They live in the apartment next to mine. We all moved into the building after going to college together with a few more friends of mine.” You nodded. “Guys, this is [name] [last name]. She actually lives in the apartment across from us.”

“Oh,” Eddie drawled and Bill nodded. “I’m so sorry.” You let out a laugh.

“I thought you looked familiar,” Bill chuckled, reaching a hand over the counter. You took his cold hand into your warmer one and smiled. He returned it happily.

“So what can I get you three?” you asked, leaning back.

“Seven hot chocolates,” Mike sighed.

“Not the strangest order I’ve gotten all day,” you sighed, making them chuckle as you scribbled it onto your notepad and waved the paper to your coworker. You laughed and gave them their total, to which they payed and spent the wait time chatting with you. Even after they received their orders, Mike stayed to talk. Bill and Eddie shot each other amused looks as they took the rest of the drinks and walked out of the shop while you and Mike laughed.

You met Stan, Beverly, Ben, and Richie without the help of Mike. 

You met Bev first. Beverly, being the caffeine addict she is, stopped by the shop regularly for daily doses of coffee. You were her regular barista, therefore sometimes you’d talk when the days were slow. After she found out that you guys lived across from each other, she’d wake up earlier to accompany you opening the store and get the first hot coffee of the day. You two easily became good friends through slow days and fresh drinks.

Your meeting with Richie continues to amuse you to no end. You had been entering the apartment complex as he and Eddie were exiting. The duo appeared to be arguing, Eddie looking visibly annoyed while Richie seemed more amused than peeved. You were a few feet away when they had exited, so Eddie was holding the door open for you. Richie stood next to him and said something casually, and whatever he said made Eddie growl and kick his ankle. Naturally, Richie fell.

Eddie was about to apologize when Richie quickly recovered. He barely sat up as he winked and shot finger guns at you, suavely saying, “Guess you could say I fell for you.” You immediately cracked up while Eddie grumbled and helped Richie up.

Eddie greeted and apologized to you, introducing you to his “idiot roomate” Richie. You guys hit it off easily, and whenever you were around and he got the chance, he’d drop a line just as cheesy as the one he dropped the day you met.

Next was Ben. He had come into the coffee shop one late evening, looking a little frustrated. He had a book tucked under one arm and a work bag in the other. Despite looking so bothered, he smiled at you.

“Good evening,” you greeted nicely. “How are you?”

“I’m alright. How are you..,” he glanced down at your name tag, “[name]..?” The hesitation in his voice prompted your lack of response. Luckily, he continued, “You don’t happen to know Beverly Marsh, do you?”

“I do,” you beamed.

He nodded. “So you’re the infamous [name].” You giggled. “She’s been raving about you for weeks. I’m her boyfriend.”

“Oh!” you exclaimed. “You’re Ben, right?” He nodded. “So lovely to finally meet you!”

“You, as well,” he responded coolly. And since then, you and Ben found your fun together within small talks at the cafe and light reading sessions after you once ran into him at the local book store.

Your meeting with Stan was more or less mutual: just casual coffee shop banter. You had told him some strange off-handed pun and he had just shook his head. From that point on, you always told him puns in an attempt to break through him and get him to laugh. Eventually you just started writing them on his drink cup, and he would roll his eyes before he left. 

When Stan first saw you hanging out with Mike, just walking in town one day, he connected a lot of dots, as did Mike.

“You’re the pun girl, huh?” Mike laughed. You nodded, giggling. “That makes a lot of sense.”

After you had officially met all of the losers, they all constantly teased Mike about how often you two were seen together.

One day he walked into the apartment where everyone was gathered, and after they all greeted them, Richie piped up, “Coming from the coffee shop?”

He nodded. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

“You’re smiling,” he grinned, and they all giggled.

He flushed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

Little teases like this became the norm whenever he came back from hanging out with you, them always saying how he was glowing or smiling or sweeter than usual. But he would never admit anything to them. And after five months of you two hanging out nearly every day, the losers decided it was time for the both of you to quit blushing like high schoolers and get together.

“I have the perfect idea,” Beverly grinned. And they got to work.

It was a Saturday afternoon and rather slow at the coffee shop. You sat behind the counter, reading a book and waiting for your shift to be over so you could go home and relax. Then, Beverly burst into the shop, making your grin and close your book.

“What can I get you, Bevvy?” you hummed sweetly, standing from your stool.

“A moment of your time, please,” she smiled smoothly, as if she hadn’t just sprinted into the shop.

“Sure thing,” you giggled.

“I was thinking,” she hummed.

“That’s not good.”

She shoved your arm and you laughed. She continued, “Anyway, I had this great idea that I could set you up on a blind date.” You blinked in surprise. You hadn’t expected that one. “A friend of mine has been begging for me to set him up since the beginning of time, and he’s free tonight.”

“Tonight?” you sounded.

“Yeah!” she exclaimed. “He’s sweet, charming, handsome...” You still looked reluctant. “Come on, it’s just one date! You two would just have dinner at Busby’s down the street!”

You sighed, considering. “Fine.” She cheered. “But only because you asked. And no promises for second dates.”

“Totally, no strings attached!” she exclaimed, holding a pinky out. You took it in your own with a childish smile. “Love you, [nickname].”

“Yeah, yeah, I love me, too.”

Back at the apartment, Richie and Mike were sitting on the couch, conversing.

“A blind date?” Mike sighed, extremely hesitantly.

“Come on, big guy, it’ll be fun!” Richie suaded. “Just one dinner at Busby’s tonight and nothing else. You haven’t gone out with anyone... well, since you met [name].”

Mike huffed, a conflicted look in his eyes. “Okay. Fine. But just one date.”

Richie whooped and hopped to his feet, clapping Mike’s shoulder as he walked away. “You won’t be disappointed, big guy.”

That night, you arrived at Busby’s slightly after seven, cursing yourself for being late. But when you entered, there stood Mike Hanlon himself.

“No way,” he laughed, shaking his head.

You pointed to yourself. “Bev. You?”

“Richie,” he shrugged. You tilted your head, your face scrunching up. “What?”

“I’m disappointed, gotta be real,” you sighed. He laughed, making you grin. From a table near that check-in area, the losers were hiding behind their menus, watching the exchange.

“How’d they immediately know?” Eddie whispered. Bev shushed him.

“It’s sweet of them. I’ll give ‘em that,” you sighed.

“Good intentions,” Mike shrugged.

“No, seriously..,” Eddie trailed.

Mike offered you his arm. “M’lady.” You rolled your eyes as he guided you about two feet away to check in. 

“Yo, pass the bread sticks.”

“Get ‘em yourself, asshole!”

“You’re closer!”

“I swear to God, if you two don’t shut up...”

Now, you two were being guided to your table, not too far away from theirs. When you got there and the waiter laid out your menus, Mike pulled out your chair. You grinned and gave him a quick kiss.

“Wait...”

“Are they..?”

They watched as you two settled down and immediately connected your hands across the table.

“Already dating?!”

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

IT Chapter 2 - Thoughts (SPOILERS)

When the first IT movie came out two years ago, I went in knowing absolutely NOTHING about the book or story. I still have not read the book (I have maybe twenty pages of Jay Baruchel’s book left, and then I’ll be starting IT!), but both then and now, I’ve found that the first IT movie is one of my favourite horror films. Whilst the first one didn’t really scare me so much as just freak me the fuck out, I still thought it was well-made and enjoyable.

I hadn’t watched the original film for a long time - probably over a whole year since. When I saw that there was going to be a double bill of the first AND second film, I immediately jumped to get a ticket - I needed a refresher of the first film, and I was extremely PUMPED for the second film. 

As I’m writing this, I’ve just gotten back from the double bill and I wanted to get some thoughts down whilst they’re still fresh in my mind. This is NOT my proper, written-out review, more just me making notes that’ll help me write that review. I also wanted to write them down just in case someone wants to go in prepared, or if they’re on the fence about seeing the film and don’t mind spoilers. 

I am also NOT talking about the first film - I made a post on my old blog when I first watched “IT” in 2017, which I have dug up and can be found HERE. 

In case it’s not already obvious, THERE ARE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. MASSIVE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ THE SPOILERS.

Anyway, let’s get on with it!

This is more of a cinema-complaint but my cinema still had the music that plays in the venue playing over the first thirty seconds so I missed ALL the audio in the first thirty seconds of the film. I DID see Beverly floating and the Losers Club talking, so I’m assuming it’s nothing I didn’t already know from the first film.

I like that it opens with cutbacks to the first film, it ties it nicely together and adds an extra reminder/refresher of what happened in the first film.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT FUCKING OPENING ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW

So after the Losers Club, there’s a scene with this gay couple at a carnival, one of whom is called Adrian, and they firstly get verbal harassment from a gang of people, and then said gang starts following them.

OKAY LOOK THIS IS A WARNING, THERE IS A GAY BASHING IN THIS FILM. It really FUCKED me up, I’m going to be honest. I’m pretty sure it’s something that happens in the book, so maybe I don’t need to warn anyone, but I was unprepared to see it. 

So after they beat Adrian up, they toss him over a bridge while he’s unconscious and into the river below; his boyfriend goes running down to find him, and that’s when you see Pennywise.

At first I thought Pennywise was just super against gay bashing and was actually helping Adrian but NOPE, HE TAKES A GIANT FUCKING BITE OUT OF HIM, I NEARLY SCREAMED IN THE CINEMA

Also I definitely noticed how Adrian was asthmatic and needed an inhaler, as is Eddie. I’m not sure if that’s a sign but let’s assume so...

This is how it all starts again and Mike - who’s the only one still in Derry btw - has to call the rest of the club up because “oh shit he’s back again”. 

Can I just say that the casting for the adult Losers Club is FUCKING PHENOMENAL. ALL OF THEM.

James McAvoy as Bill? Jessica Chastain as Beverly? Bill Hader as Richie? Blessed casting, absolutely blessed.

As a writer, I laughed so hard at everyone hating Bill’s book endings. Literally EVERYONE shat on how he ended his books, even his own wife (who’s an actress, I think?) and it was so funny.

Poor Eddie went from a domineering mother to a domineering wife who I’m 99% sure is played by the same actress by the way. 

Probably should mention now that Eddie is one of my favourite members of the club in the first film, so that was kinda sad for me to see.

Oh God, Richie in this film is perfect. I love him. First time we see him, he’s vomiting after getting a phone call from Mike and then he has to go onstage to do stand-up. Throughout the whole film he is literal GOLD.

Ben really had a huge glow-up between movies, I mean DAMN BEN. Does that happen in the book? Ben going from the “fat kid” to “handsome and fit” or...?

Oh poor Bev...poor Bev indeed. She went from being abused by her creepy ass father to being in an abusive relationship with her husband. I sadly get the feeling that that kind of thing happens in real life - history repeats itself and all of that.

I’m 90% sure that Bev’s husband was going to r*pe her because he threw her down and started to take off his shirt, but she kicked him off her and fought back before too much happened.

Of course, Stan. I had a horrible feeling when I saw the trailers and saw that he was noticeably absent compared to the others. Also, when I started reading IT two years ago (I only got a few chapters in, I didn’t have much time so I kind of fell away before I got too into the book), THAT scene with Stan was one of the only chapters I got round to reading because it was right at the start. So I knew and I was dreading it.

Potentially triggering for people like myself who have been suicidal/are suicidal/self-harm; he runs himself a bath and then slits his wrists to kill himself (and succeeds). I mean, it’s not 13 Reasons Why level of explicit, you don’t SEE him do it properly, but it’s intercut with the moment Bill sliced his palm in the first film when they were all making the pact. So it’s PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS what’s going on.

Throughout this whole film, I had no idea what was real and what wasn’t anymore. Some of the shit that happened was bizarre and I was like “...how is NO ONE NOTICING THAT”. 

As soon as I saw the words “cut” and “IT” come out of fortune cookies, I knew something was about to go down. Even more so when “Stanley” came out of one.

The humour in this film is a whole new level. Most of it is Bill Hader as Richie, but some of it is just in general (like one of them screaming “IT’S NOT REAL” whilst smashing a chair on a table in the Chinese restaurant, only for an employee to turn up and be like “da fuq”...long story).

I assumed that Henry Bowers had fallen straight to hell or died frankly. Oh boy was I wrong. Not surprised they put him in an asylum given that he murdered his own father tbh. 

PATRICK THE ZOMBIE

So is the Patrick zombie ACTUALLY driving Henry around, I’m curious because how the fuck would no one else notice a zombie driving around?!

“how do you not know material from you own show?!” - oh God, I am so weak

Pennywise kills this little girl called Vicky and I just KNEW. I just knew what that little bitch (Pennywise) was up to as soon as he started fake crying because “no one will be my friend because I look strange” or whatever. He saw that mark on the girl’s face and I fucking knew. 

“One...Two...” “...” “...” “...you’re supposed to say-” AND THEN HE TOOK A MASSIVE FUCKING BITE OUT OF HER FACE, I LITERALLY CRIED OUT I WAS SO FUCKING TERRIFIED

The scene where Mike drugs Bill to get him to “see” is...weird. Extremely weird. It was like being on hallucinogen drugs. Everything about it and IT is weird.

I’m confused as to when the timeline of them building the clubhouse and their individual experiences with IT take place in this film. Are the individual encounters (which I’ll talk about in a moment) supposed to have taken place in the time they were all apart? And the clubhouse, was that AFTER they fought IT? I’m so confused about when all of this was happening

So they all have to find these objects as offerings for this ritual to defeat IT and...that was a ride of several varieties.

We’ve all seen the Mrs Kersh teaser, right? The old lady? And how she suddenly wiggles around naked in the background for no apparent reason? That made a LOT of people laugh but, I mean, hats off to the actress for doing that, I’m 21 and I couldn’t even imagine having to do that.

Umm so yikes, Bev’s relationship with her father remains so creepy and abusive, like he blames her for her mother killing herself?? And then sprays her in her mom’s perfume and starts smelling her?? I needed to lie down on the sofa I was on, it had me so uncomfortable.

Um so Mrs Kersh turns into this GIANT FUCKING OLD LADY DEMON THING THAT’S NAKED AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY LIFE

Pennywise painting his face and making those noises...yikes. fuckin yikes. I still love Bill Skarsgard.

OKAY LOOK RICHIE WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT RICHIE’S WHOLE STORYLINE SO IMMA DO THAT NOW

ABOUT RICHIE

So if I’m correct, and I think I am, Richie is gay? There’s a flashback when he heads to the arcade of Richie when he’s young and his hand lingers just a second too long on another boy’s at one point, and then he gets accused of being “weird”. Then it turns out the boy is Bowers’ cousin and Bowers shows up, starts accusing Richie of being a certain-gay-slur, and Richie runs outside.

Umm that bUILDER LUMBERJACK STATUE COMING TO LIFE WAS UNNECESSARY THANK YOU I’M GOING TO HAVE FUCKING NIGHTMARES ABOUT THAT FUCKING THING

So back to older Richie because this is all happening one-after-the-other here. Older Richie goes outside and he looks up at the Lumberjack statue, and there’s Pennywise with loads of balloons.

Pennywise starts accusing him of being too afraid to play games, but especially truth-or-dare, because then “everyone will know your secret”. 

My legit favourite thing is now Pennywise the clown floating down from on top of a statue singing “I KNOW YOUR SECRET, YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRET” and I refuse to feel guilty for it

It is so heavily implied that Richie’s secret is that he’s attracted to guys and I am here for the representation. I don’t know whether Richie is gay or bi or whatever, but shit I love it

I literally just wanted Richie to admit it so he could be proud and not afraid, like own it Richie. Own who you are, and then Pennywise can’t use it against you.

I’m literally going to rewatch this film JUST FOR RICHIE AND EDDIE’S ROMANCE

Anyway, end of me discussing Richie (for now)

I saw you Stephen King, in that shop with Bill’s bike :))

I wonder how other adults in Derry feel about seeing fully grown Bill screaming down a drain. It’s kind of sadly funny now that I consider it...

To be honest, I don’t remember what that little boy was called but Bill must have looked like a fucking weirdo just screaming and following that little boy around... (okay, I THINK the kid is called Dean so I’m going to just call him that)

To be fair to Bill, I also lie awake at night wondering “why Georgie??” That kid was far too adorable.

I always thought Ben was smart for some reason and so I was kinda surprised to see him in summer school (I’m English so we don’t have that here, but am I right in thinking that it’s where you go if you fail school or something? To get your grades up/retake tests?)

I was not convinced for a second that that shadow belonged to Beverly, and turns out I’m right. 

See, after seeing Bev’s head suddenly catch on fire, I’m glad I never started smoking (yes, I’m aware that’s Pennywise)

Poor Ben, having fake-Bev tell him that he’s fat/will die alone etc. It’s so sweet that he kept the page in his yearbook that she signed though, to remind himself that the REAL Beverly wouldn’t do that.

“Kiss me, fat boy” - AM I WRONG OR WAS THAT A LINE IN THE TIM CURRY VERSION BECAUSE I’M SURE IT’S NOT THE FIRST TIME A PENNYWISE HAS SAID THAT

That creepy ass pharmacist is still there?? AND his daughter?!

See, I’m confused...did Eddie’s mom REALLY get killed by the Leper or was that just a Pennywise trick to lure him in?

That Leper, guys...fuck me, it’s disgusting like it licks and vomits on Eddie?!

You know shit’s about to get real when characters go into fun-houses, especially the ones with a clown theme.

Okay, you know what, I was wrong when I thought that that little girl called Vicky had the most violent death - HOW ABOUT DEAN?? PENNYWISE RAMMING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE GLASS AND THEN FUCKING EATING HIM IN FRONT OF BILL WHILST BLOOD SPRAYS FUCKING EVERYWHERE

Ben: I’ve spoken to Richie, he’s going to stay -> Cut to: Richie, escaping and driving away very quickly

Hang on, how in the fuck did Eddie survive Bowers stabbing him in the cheek?! (Having said that, the Narrator in Fight Club survived blowing the whole of his cheek off so I can’t complain). 

For a moment I genuinely forgot about what happened to Henry Bowers after this but I’ve just remembered - he attacks the Losers Club again at the library and gets stabbed (I think?). All I know is that he definitely dies in that library.

I knew Mike’s parents had burnt to death and he’d been in the next room, but I didn’t realize that he’d been a toddler at the time?? Jesus, how is he not completely fucked up after that?!

No amount of money or anything could ever convince me to go into that fucking house on Neibolt Street frankly. 

I can’t remember why Richie decided to stay right now but he decides to stay and help out. My memory is BAD.

So they go into the house and so much horrific shit goes down that I literally was hiding behind the blanket I was using.

Less scary thing first: Ben having words carved into his stomach until Bev kicks some ass and destroys a mirror. Still freaked me out but not as much as the NEXT THING HOLY SHIT

So in the next room, the fridge opens and inside is young!Stan’s body - his head then falls off and rolls across the floor, starts speaking. When the Losers Club starts not believing it/being less afraid, Stan’s head...fuck fuck fuck

Stan’s head GROWS FUCKING LEGS AND IT BECOMES A SPIDER BUT WITH A HUMAN HEAD?! SO STAN’S HEAD IS THE BODY/FACE BUT IT HAS SPIDER LEGS AND I NEARLY BURST INTO TEARS BECAUSE I CAN HANDLE A LOT BUT FUCKIN SPIDERS IS NOT FUCKIN ONE OF THEM

I’M NOT KIDDING, THAT IS THE MOST TERRIFYING, HORRIFYING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN, AND I HAVE SEEN A LOT OF HORROR MOVIES

So they all end up going into the sewers, and going deeper after that, to do their ritual; freaky-boob-demon showed up and pulled Bev underwater, but beyond it being a quick jumpscare (that was admittedly scary), nothing happens since it goes down underwater and just see Eddie panicking but too afraid to go in after them himself.

Richie giving Eddie the pep talk was both sweet and hilarious. I admittedly laughed more than I should have done at the “you married a woman who weighs 400 pounds comment”. 

So, surprise surprise, the fucking dumbass ritual doesn’t work. For some reason Mike decides “hmm I won’t mention that this ritual failed before when it was last done, ho hum” and so everyone’s in the shit after that.

Pennywise turns into this gigantic crab-spider-thing and I don’t know how to feel about it. It’s honestly terrifying and unsettling, but I was half-expecting IT to turn into something like a massive spider or something horrific. I’m glad in a way he didn’t but still.

I should have mentioned this earlier but remember how in the first film, they decided that they’re safe so long as they stay together? YEAH, WELL, SECOND FILM SAYS LOL NOPE TO THAT AND THE CLUB KEEP SEPARATING, WHY DO YOU STRESS ME OUT LIKE THIS

The thing with Richie and Eddie and that Pomeranian was so cute? You know, until the dog fuCKING TURNED INTO A MONSTER THAT IS, “Not Scary At All” MY ASS PENNYWISE

Is IT able to be in seven different places at once? Because I wasn’t sure, but Pennywise seems to torment the kids/adults separately at the same time in BOTH films

So apparently Bill feels guilty because he “wasn’t sick” that day that Georgie went out into the rain and like...okay? That feels a bit shoehorned in but cool, alright then.

Bev ends up in that toilet cubicle with people trying to break in and like...gross? Her dad? And the pharmacist? Can go fuck themselves :))

So that toilet filled with blood pretty fast huh

Also Beverley really took her sweet ass time realizing that it was BEN who wrote that poem despite the fact she seemed to realize he was the one who did it AFTER he kissed her awake in the first film. However, I’ll maybe let it slide since apparently they forget things when they leave Derry, so...

Ben nearly drowns in dirt and Pennywise taunts him about dying alone, honestly same, I just know I’m going to die alone and unloved :))

Richie deciding “fuck it” and throwing rocks/screaming at Pennywise was so amazing...until the deadlights got him.

Eddie really sacrificed himself like that, huh :(

Poor Eddie was so happy because “oh my god I did it, I killed him, Richie wake up, look-!” - and then he got fucking stabbed. Gosh, I just LOVE it when my favourites DIE LIKE THAT STEPHEN KING -_-

So the deadlights are kind of just...balls of light? Or...?

So apparently calling Pennywise names like “clown” and putting him down is all it took to make him small enough to defeat, huh? They really shouted “clown” at him until he shrunk into a new-born-baby-sized-Pennywise

Also they crushed his heart and that was it. Cool, I guess. I don’t know what I was expecting but I don’t think what I got was it

So, um, while I’m here, let’s just take a moment to...

FUCKING NO WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING TELL ME THAT FUCKING EDDIE WAS GOING TO DIE

I WAS ROOTING FOR EDDIE EVERY SINCE HE SAID ABOUT GAZEBOS OKAY YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW ANGRY AND SAD I AM

I mean, he died like a hero, granted, but how fucking dare you-

You know what’s even MORE heartbreaking than Eddie dying? RICHIE’S REACTION.

Oh sure, the others are sad, but RICHIE IS FULL ON SOBBING AND NOT WANTING TO LET HIM GO, LIKE HE’S LITERALLY IN DENIAL AND HAS TO BE DRAGGED AWAY

RICHIE TAKES IT THE HARDEST AND MY HEART, IT FUCKING HURTS GUYS, IT REALLY DOES

Anyway, thank you Bill Hader for inventing acting for this film

Okay I’m sort of done

So no one is going to notice that dusty crackhouse building just crumbling completely then?

That moment where the remaining adult losers look at their reflection in a window, and they see themselves young - but it’s ALL of them young, even Stan and Eddie, and now I really am sad

Richie breaking down when they’re in the quarry to clean up...again, my heart hurts and it’s Richie’s fault

Towards the beginning of this film/most of the first film, I genuinely cared a bit about who Bev ended up with (well, more I was hoping it was Ben because he’s sweet and a good person) but by the time we got to Ben and Bev kissing after all the Bill-Bev-Ben triangle bullshit...meh. Cool, I guess. 

I am genuinely glad that the surviving losers seem to be living at least slightly better lives by the end of the film; Bill actually as an idea about what he’s writing for once; Bev is away from abusive fathers/husbands and with Ben on what looked like a VERY nice private yacht; I think Mike was going to see the world(?) after being cooped up in the library for so  long.

Richie...I don’t know if his ending was better than how he started to be honest. I think he said something about being proud at the end, so maybe that means he’s going to accept who he is? 

HE CARVED “R+E” into the bridge as a teen, and he re-cARVES IT AT THE END ARE YOU SERIOUS

Did Stan really think that by killing himself, it would prevent everyone from going back or...? Because he says in his letter that if it’s not ALL of them going back, then he’s assuming they’ll all die? Or something?

^If I’ve got that wrong (which I’m sure I have) please excuse me, it was 1am by the time the film finished and I was recovering from being terrified and I was tired

Obviously Bill Skarsgard was amazing as Pennywise, I just wanted to save that until last because wOW. He really put his all into the character, and I personally think he did a fantastic job with it.

So overall, I enjoyed IT Chapter 2. Was it as good as the first? Ehh...kind of hard to say. I was more scared shitless this time around but it was mostly jump-scares. It was definitely creepier/darker/bloodier. Having said that, there were moments where I was like “what the actual fck” or a bit lost, like Mike drugging Bill? I also noticed that a LOT of people in the cinema were laughing towards the end when it was the comedic parts but rather the scary ones - whether that’s just “some people laugh when nervous/anxious” or they genuinely thought it was hilarious, I’m not sure. This film is also nearly 3 hours long, which...is a while. For me, it wasn’t too bad because I’ve done LOTR marathons at home using the extended editions, so under 3 hours is kind of something I’m used to, but it does kind of drag a bit. At the beginning there was a lot of time building up characters, which I get, but also was slightly unnecessary at times. The CGI was sort of a mixed bag for me. I feel like the CGI on Pennywise throughout was overall improved, but there were moments like an eyeball rolling across the table or something where I thought it looked fake as hell.

But all of that aside, I really enjoyed the film. I think I’d go back again just to see Bill Hader as Richie, to be honest, and for Richie’s whole storyline. For me personally, that was the best non-horror element of the film.As I said, I have not read the book YET, but it’s the very next one on my list - chances are I’ll be starting it tonight or tomorrow!

[floralreddie]

If requests are still open are you up to making a Richie x reader x bev where things get kinda steamy between reader and bev and Richie walks in?

okay, so this has been sitting in my ask box for forever and for that i am sorry. i l o v e this, though. my bi has practically died when bill hader was cast as richie, and then jessica chastain as bev. that being said, our losers are 18 in this. enjoy! also, the clown fucker doesn’t exist in this au.

The Three Of Us

warnings: smut, swearing

forever taglist: @pearltheartist@mikoalabearwrites @arielgirly @trashmouth-smashmouth@mzcescapie@somenates27@reddiesballoons@cawcawhawkeye@richietoaster@sassy-molassy@fuckin-richie@zerealromaniangurl@notagoodplace4gods @itsway-past-mybedtime@homohayls @reddiefic@trashmouth-tozier69@temptedtozier@bitchardtozier@virgo-green @reddietofall @gczebos@tozierkasqbrak @temptedtozier @zerealromaniangurl @anniewdoodles@reddiefic @wyattsnoodles  @deux-mille-deux  @eds-trashmouth @thecastlebyers  @r-richie @erinn-l

The thing is, you’ve always been aware that you like both.

It was never really something you had to worry about, and maybe that’s because your friend group, the one you all, in your youth, called The Losers Club, was a little sphere of acceptance and love that the outside world could not touch. You were thirteen when you linked the heat in your stomach and the blush on your cheeks with seeing both the hard lines and broad shoulders of man, and the curves and strength of woman.

You were fifteen when, under the covers of the bed you had both made in Bill’s basement, you had told Beverly Marsh just this. You were closest to Eddie and Richie, but you being the two girls, your friendship with Bev was special. You were the shoulder she cried on when her father was finally locked away. You were the one who helped her rid her apartment of anything that reminded her of him, as her Aunt moved to Derry to look after her. You were the one who helped her choose the red lipstick that was her colour. You were two girls, shunned by others for people different, who found solace with each other amongst a group of boys who were family.

‘Do you think I’m weird?’ you ask her, over the sound of Ben’s snores and Eddie’s constant shifting. 

Bev, with her bright blue eyes and mess of red hair, curls her mouth into a smile that makes the pale of her cheeks turn pink. ‘If you’re weird,’ she whispers, her toes nudging against your calve. ‘Then I guess I’m weird, too’.

You had blinked and then grinned, letting out a high pitch whisper of, ‘Really?’ You’re not too surprised, really. 

Bev ducks her head a little closer and bites her tongue. You hear Richie mutter sleepily for Ben to stop fucking snoring, before quiet rules again. ‘I always thought I just liked girls, but then…’ She snickers, and you lean in closer. ‘Richie got cute this year, don’t you think?’

You splutter loudly, causing Bev to giggle in alarm. No, you did not think that Richie fucking Tozier was cute. Richie Tozier was a tall and gangly nerd who drank too much Coke and told too many stupid jokes.

‘Will you both b-be quiet?’ Bill mutters groggily through the night, and you and Bem have to clutch hands tightly under the covers to mask your manic giggles.

It’s a few months later when you see what Bev in an entirely different light.

You’ve always been aware she is beautiful, both out of pure fact and only slightly out of attraction. Never, though, had you looked at for too long when you both changed at one of your many sleepovers, or when you lounged by the various lakes dotted around Derry. You respected Bev too much for that. 

There’s a dance at school, and six out of the eight Losers decide to go as a group. Mike has a date with some girl from near his farm, and he’s just elated to be able to take her to a real High School dance, since he used to be home-schooled. Bill decides to go with the head of the Poetry Club, some girl you knew only distantly. 

You all gather at yours, because your parents were out (again) so your house was free for cheap drinks and getting ready. You decide on a black dress that ends just above your knees, and boots that Richie had given you once he had grown out of them. Shockingly, they were in pretty good condition. You know your mother would roll her eyes at your attire, but despite your clumpy shoes, you feel pretty in your straight black dress and dark lipstick. 

You answer the door and the boys are standing there. Stan eyes your boots with a twist of smile and an eye roll. Ben tells you that you look lovely. Eddie beams in his smart suit and rolls his eyes when Richie whistles and says, ‘Gee whizz’, with an appreciative brow wiggle.

You try not to blush. Really. ‘Get in here, idiot,’ you grumble, opening the door some more as they pile in.

Richie sidles up to your as the others talk, and Eddie perks up as a song comes on the radio that he likes. Richie is taller than you by far, and you can’t help but smirk at the fact he is wearing contacts for once. He looks down at you, and you look up at him, and you’re momentarily stunned when he murmurs, ‘I’m not joking, y’know. You look beautiful, toots’.

You blush scarlet and stutter out, as he smirks, ‘Anyone want a drink whilst we wait for Bev?’

It is as you are handing out cheap beers that your Dad keeps in the basement when Bev walks in, having not bothered ringing the doorbell, and your stomach nearly falls out of your butt. 

She’s radiant. 

She’s wearing a red, strapless dress that seems a little too big on her, but somehow she pulls it off. Her hair, longer now, is tucked behind her ears, and her red lipstick shines as she smiles. On her feet, are a pair of tiny heels that show off her red painted toenails.

You choke on air, as Richie mutters lowly beside you, ‘It’s a wonder we get anything done with you two hanging around us’.

When Bev smiles at you and takes the bottle of beer, you realise that you’re fucked.

It’s a year later, a whole year of knowing full well you have a crush on Bev, when you’re sixteen, that you fully understand you might also like Richie, too.

It’s just the two of you at the Barrens, cigarettes hanging out of your mouths as you bitch and moan about how hard Biology was this year. In just one year, it seemed that all of the boys had left you and Bev behind height-wise, even Eddie, but Richie towered above you all. 

‘So,’ Richie says, blase and whilst taking a deep drag. ‘I’m getting kinda impatient waiting for you to tell me that you like Bev’.

You stare at him, smoke drifting lazily from your mouth as you gape. With a quirk of a smile, his glasses slipping down his nose, Richie plops your mouth closed with a flick of his finger. ‘What?’

He snorts and flicks his cigarette into the water. ‘C’mon, it’s me. If anyone knows the look of pathetic longing, it’s me. I’m pretty sure I looked at you like that for a good four years-’

‘What?’

‘Oh,’ Richie waves a hand and rolls his brown eyes. ‘Like you didn’t know’. You most definitely did not know. ‘Anyway, you should say something to her. I know for a fact she wouldn’t mind’.

You glare at him and flick your own cigarette away. ‘What the fuck does that mean, Tozier?’

He smirks, all cocky and tall and staring down at you. ‘It means Bev and I talk a lot’.

He takes a step forward.

You stare up at him.

And then you push him. 

You’re not sure why you do not. You’re flustered that he firstly told you he used to like you, and then how he blundered you with information about Bev and your crush on her. You panic. So you push him. 

He lands with a splash in the water, a strain of curses leaving his mouth, before the Trashmouth stares up at you with a bellowing laugh, his white t-shirt becoming see-through, and yanks you down with him.

‘Mature,’ he quips, over your shout of indignation as your bare knees hit the water and pebbles. You kneel to his side, your body half landing on his, and blink as the hard lines of his stomach appear through his soaked shirt.

With fluttering lashes, you look up at see Richie eyeing you, his cheeks pink and his mouth pulled into a half grin. He nudges you with his nose and plants a quick kiss on the corner of your mouth, before he pulls away and says, as if nothing had happened, ‘Y’know, you and Bev always were my favourites’.

As he stands and offers you his hand, his smirk in place and your cheeks flaming, you try and squash the swirling in your stomach and realise that, yeah, you’re fucked. 

‘You, Bev and Rich are close lately,’ Stan observes one day at lunch. You’re the first two sitting at the round table pushed into the corner of the cafeteria. You look at him and away from your Lit notes, your brow raised. 

‘So what?’

He shrugs and tugs at the collar of his shirt. ‘Just making an observation,’ he murmurs, in a way that is so typically a back-handed way of Stan say something entirely different to what he’s actually saying. ‘They’re a lot more touchy with you, don’t you think?’

You have no idea what to say, so you just pull a face at him, to which he rolls his eyes. Still, you don’t miss the way his light gaze flashes to yours when Bev sits on your left and Richie your right, and the two lean so close to you whilst telling you about their Art class that your nearly get whiplash looking back and forth.

Richie smells like spicy cologne and something musty. Bev smells like cigarettes and the sun. 

Your face is bright pink the whole of lunch, and when Bev pinches your cheek and tells you so, you go maroon.

Richie practically chokes on his milk.

You turn seventeen a few months later, and in that time your surely notice how Bev and Richie are closer. They whisper with each other, even when it’s just the tree of you hanging out, and you leave the room for just a minute. They’ve always been the touchy-feely ones of the group, but something in the way that they hang off of each other, now that you know how you feel about them…

It makes your stomach clench and your chest tight.

You don’t tell Bev about your half-kiss with Richie. You don’t even tell Eddie about it, and that boy was your personal therapist. He was the only one you had told about liking Bev, simply because you knew how he felt about Bill. Straight as a ruler Bill.

You supposed you were luckier. At least Bev liked girls, too.

It’s three days after your seventeenth, in which you all went bowling, that you hang out with Bev and Richie. It was Bev who had called you just an hour after school had finished, a question of whether you wanted to watch a movie in her room with her whilst her Aunt went out to her bi-weekly Thursday Book Club.You say yes, of course.

When you get there, a grinning Richie Tozier answers your quick knock on Bev’s front door.

He’s grinning and wearing a floral, button up shirt with the first three buttons undone, and you try very hard not to eye the flash of collarbones and the jump of his Adam’s Apple when he calls your name in a sing-song voice. He pulls you in with a tug on the waist of your dress, and you roll your eyes and say, ‘Hello, Richard’.

With a waggle of his brow and pinch to your side, the taller boy remarks, ‘I do love it when you use my full name, toots’.

Bev rounds the corner into the hallway then, decked out in blue shorts and a strappy top. ‘Sorry,’ she drawls, blue eyes flashing to Richie. ‘He told me to surprise you’.

There’s something in their quick shared gaze that makes you want to squirm.

It’s only when you’re a quarter a way into some shitty action film that you realise that Stan might have had a point. Richie sits on your right again, and Bev on your left, and you cannot breathe. They’re everywhere; from Bev nuzzled up to your side with one leg thrown over your knee and the other hanging over the edge of the sofa, to Richie, with his long arm practically slung over the both of you and-

God, you must be as red as Eddie’s favourite fucking shorts. 

You feel like you might explode. Bev keeps shifting closer, somehow, and the smell of her fruity perfume and her soft skin pressing against your bare arm…it’s making your stomach swirl and your palms sweat. Richie’s arm moves slightly, so that his long-fingered hand is resting between yours and Bev’s shoulders, and your heart does a fucking pirouette when you feel those fingers tug at your long hair and her short, making the two stark contrast of coloured strands mix.

Bev lets out a small little sigh and tilts her head to the side as she watches the screen, and Richie shuffles further down the couch, his long legs spreading and his fingers dart across the juncture where your neck meets your jaw, and Bev legs one hand fall from her bent knees to land on your thigh, her fingers distractedly running across where her thigh meets yours-

They’re doing this on purpose. They must be. There is no way that they cannot hear you’re heavy breathing, or feel the way your whole body seems to be one big blush. 

‘Bathroom,’ you choke out suddenly, making Richie jump and Bev lean back suddenly, blue eyes wide. You cough and dart to your feet, untangling from the both of them. 

As you stumble to the bathroom, cheeks red and the pit of your stomach hot, you swear your Richie mutter, ‘…thought….would work’.

To which Bev murmurs, ‘….be patient…ich…special’.

It’s your eighteenth Birthday and you’re at a house party. 

Not surprising, really. There was always some kind of teenage party in Derry, simply because there wasn’t really anything else for the youth of the small town to do on weekends once they reached a certain age. It’s not your party, but a party that happens to fall on the weekend of your Birthday. You don’t even know who’s hosting it.

All you know is that Bev and Richie would not leave you alone. 

You’re not complaining, of course. Over the last year, there seemed to be some kind of spoken agreement amongst the eight of you that no one would mention how close the three of you were, or how often you touched each other or held each other. 

You’re wearing a crop top and a skirt, and Bev seems to have not stop touching the sliver of skin on show with her warm, lithe fingers. Richie, on the other hand, seemed more intent with throwing an arm over your shoulder and talking into your hair every so often. 

Honestly, you needed to breathe before you kissed the both of them in front of everyone at this damn party. 

So, you do just that. You excuse yourself, to which Bev and Richie nod and join Bill and Mike in their awkward dancing, practically saving the two of them with their practiced moves. You sidle into the kitchen of whoever owns this house, your shoulders bumping with others, until you reach the drinks table and find Eddie, Stan and Ben debating about debating angrily about something. 

‘-It’s obvious it’s gonna happen tonight-’

‘No way - Richie is the shitty tactical thinker, but Bev will wait until-’

You’re not sure you want to know what they’re talking about, so you walk on. You were already oddly nervous about something (you knew what - you knew there had been something bubbling beneath the surface that was getting ready to erupt), so you go to the drinks table, our yourself a cheap mixture of vodka and lemonade, and politely listen when some BO smelling burnout starts to mumble to you about something. 

It’s only when you feel a messy kiss on your cheek that you realise maybe you should have been listening to whatever the fuck this guy was saying. 

The thing is, he is yanked away from your before you can even tell him to piss off. He stumbles back with a swear and a, ‘stupid bitch’, to which Beverly fucking Marsh throws him the finger and turns to you, cheeks flushed with drink, and says, ‘You okay?’

You nod.

You’re speechless.

Gallant and brave Beverly Marsh had pushed some grabby guy away from you. Beautiful and amazing Beverly Marsh was looking at you with a shine in her eyes and an emotion you had been too stupid and too scared to read until now. 

‘Come with me,’ you breathe suddenly, the pieces of years and years falling into place. 

She follows you without restraint or protest, her heels clicking against the floor and her hand looping into yours as you both head upstairs. You don’t know where you’re going, so the first door you see, you kick open with the toe of your boot. 

The moment you’re both in there, you stare at her. You stairs from her thick eyelashes, to her red lips, to the curve of her breast, and to the tips on her jeans. She says your name, soft and knowing, but you shake your head and cut her off. 

You meet her gaze, and you both know. ‘How have you both been so patient?’ you ask with a slight laugh. ‘I’ve taken ages’.

Bev shrugs, easy and graceful. ‘It’s you. You’re worth it’.

You kiss her. It’s sudden and hard, and your hands find her red curls, and her fingers grab your waist, and you know there’s no going back from this. There’s not going back from her bruising lips or her steady hands, or the way her breath catches in your mouth as she chokes on a satisfied sound. 

She tastes like cheap booze and Bev.

It doesn’t take long for her to take charge. You always knew it would be that way. She holds you like she knows you’re not fragile, and she sucks on your neck and mouth like they’re the tastiest treats she has ever tasted. Every pull on her hair makes a sound come from her mouth that send jolts to your abdomen, and when her fingers splay across your bare stomach, your pull away and breathe, 

‘You’re beautiful’. And, she is. With flushed cheeks and red hair, Beverly Marsh is what you have dreamed of since you were just a kid. She grins, all teeth and red lips, and kisses your mouth like it’s a sweet peach. 

When her hands draw up the lines of your thighs, beneath your skirt, you stutter on a breath and kiss her harder, bruising-

‘Christ’.

The voice is low. You has only heard it so low when he had woken from sleep, or when he’d taken too hard a pull of a joint. You realise Bev had pushed you against the wall of the sparse bedroom (guest room, maybe?) you had both taken up in, and that her hand was practically yanking aside your underwear.

‘Took you long enough,’ you mutter because, really, you knew he would be here when this finally happened. It was meant to be like that, for all of you. 

Richie Tozier, with his drunk hair and dark eyes, looks at the both of you like he has seen the sun in all of it’s glory, and he does not know how to look at anything after this. He stands there for a moment, fingers flexing and Adam’s Apple bopping, before Bev holds out her hand (you want to whine as she drags her hand away from your underwear) and says, ‘C’mon, Rich’.

He does, but not before locking the door and muttering about how, ‘no fuckin’ pervs are gonna see you two other than me’.

Bev giggles against your neck when you reply, ‘So, you’re the perv?’

Richie, on the other hand, stays oddly silent for once, as he stands closer now and looks between the two of you, a rare show of nervousness cast across his features. When Bev holds him, her fingers curling around his bicep and pulling him closer, you waste no time in proppping the glasses up his nose, leaning across Bev, and kissing him soundly on the mouth.

Something within the three of you snaps, then. 

It’s years of knowing and waiting for the right moment, and Bev and Richie say as much to you as your each touch each other, slow and unsure.The sound of the thumping music seems to die as Bev peppers kisses along your jaw and Richie runs his hand up Bev’s arm and kisses her there.

Richie’s shirt goes first, much to yours and Bev’s pleasure, to which he cocks a brow and declares, ‘Look, I know I’m hot, but don’t objectify me, ladies’.

It’s Bev who touches you first, and you feel oddly as if they are catering to your needs here. You’re lying in the middle of the bed with your skirt hiked up and her fingers curling beneath your underwear, her touch hesitant and her eyes bright as they look up at you. She’s bent over your lower half, and as Richie stands at the end of the bend, he looks like a man who has been blessed a billion times over. 

She is like molten lava curling across your skin. No one has ever touched your there, so when her fingers dip into your wetness, you gasp and curl your fingers into the bedding of the bed, and Richie groans.  

‘Rich,’ you murmur, opening your eyes to glance up at him. He moves like lightening, practically tripping over himself to round the bed and crawl over to kiss you hard and messily on the mouth. Bev hums and mutters a, ‘You two are gonna kill me-’

And then you feel her kissing her way into the inside of your thigh, and then she is tasting you. 

It’s hard to say who is touching who after that. You come with Bev’s mouth on you, and Richie’s hand stuffed down his trousers as you kiss along his sharp jawline. When Bev sidles up the bed, flushed and wet-mouthed, you taste yourself on her lips and could cry at the wonderfulness of seeing her and Richie kiss.

‘I love you both,’ you tell them, as Bev kisses along your now bare spine and your reach down Richie’s open jeans. You all kneeling upon this strangers bed, your clothes slowly falling around you and your mouth bruised from kissing. ‘So much’.

When you touch him, he sighs and nuzzles into your and groans mutters things that only Trashmouth Tozier could mutter at such a time. You think of how long you’ve wanted this; them. You feel Bev’s whispers against your spin as she touches and kisses you and reaches over you to run her fingers through Richie’s dark hair, and Richie presses his mouth greedily to hers over your shoulders when your fingers squeeze just a little tighter around him. 

‘Wanted you for so damn long,’ Richie breathes after he comes, the mess of it staining the sheets and your hand. ‘Both of us’.

You think he might have a small heart attack when Bev’s licks his cum off of your fingers as you splay them in front of you. 

Richie kisses like he’s trying to taste you, like his every intent is to whisper a meaning between your lips. Bev kisses as if she is taking whatever you wish to share from you; like she is a notebook and you are the pen. You both taste Bev, only after Richie slips his fingers inside of you and Bev touches your chest like you’re precious cargo. 

When Bev sighs and curls her toes at your tongue and Richie’s fingers, you all know something has changed deeply between the three of you.

You love them. 

You held Bev tongue her shirt back on, and Richie ensures that your skirt is straight at the back. When you all turn to each other, messy and sweaty and stinking of sex, Richie says, ‘I know a say a lot of shit, but that was-’ There is something in his eyes that says this is the farthest thing from a joke he has ever told. ‘I mean-’

‘We know,’ you tell him, fingers linking with his. 

Bev holds you other hand, her smile gleaming like the moon. ‘We’re together, then?’ she inquires, matter of fact and with no hesitance. ‘I think we’ve all waited long enough to say that’.

‘Hell fucking yeah’.

You sigh, smile, and say, ‘Beep beep, Richie’.

[grownups-are-the-real-monsters]

Silver Bells

Summary: Richie is sick and tired of being badgered about relationships at his family Christmas parties. And his idiotic cousin always brags about his girlfriend. So when in need of a fake boyfriend to stop the annoyance, Eddie’s name comes out. 

Words: 9,774 

Ships: Reddie 

Stanley Uris lightly dragged his pencil down the side of the worn out pages of his bird book, passing the bushels of color from the photos. A thin feather-light gray line followed in it’s path alongside the faded dark brown framing of the particular page. He grinned, a kind man’s grin, and hoped to himself that once winter ended he would get to see a lot more birds again. The distant chatter of the dinner customer crowd was just as foggy as his table’s paired window. The snow falling down tapped almost silently against it and left a delicate layer of moisture perfect for finger drawn doodles. Surrounding the view was a strand of tiny bulbs of Christmas lights. It was all very warm and welcoming, enhanced by the smell of home cooking. Stan enjoyed his job there and was glad he got it. Working under Mr. and Mrs. Carson, a lovely old couple, was just his favorite. 

The only thing was the creepy little old timey paintings they had around the dining areas. A part of him loved them and another part hated them. Their eyes followed him everywhere. 

“Stan!” Richie abruptly came from behind the booth and set his cold hands on the very slim opening of Stan’s shirt on to his exposed collarbones with the intent to scare him. But Stan remained still as the dead. It was not in the least bit surprising but it still disappointed Richie to no end. “How did that not get you this time?” 

Stan made a small amused huff as Richie came round to slide into the bench across from him, eyes avoiding the painting behind his head. “Can’t be surprised by what you know is coming, Rich.” Was his simple explanation and it made Richie huff for himself, crossing his arms and leaning back on the cushioned seat. He sat still for as long as he could entertain himself, which wasn’t long at all, before he started to hastily remove his layers of warm clothing. Flakes of snow fell off like tiny beads onto the chair and table. 

“Here, eat your soup. Still warm.” Stan pushed the tiny meal he brought from the kitchen over to his friend who he knew needed it. Richie gladly took it and started to dunk the little bread rolls into it. “I only have like ten minutes for break so, what’s up?” 

Richie slurped his soup from the silver spoon and rolled his lips together in thought. Stan had mastered his mind-blocking of the unfavorable sounds of eating, loud chewing and other classic gross hits. It was a skill that had come with the job and was now just a nice bonus. He smiled to show his friend he was listening. 

“I have a problem.” Richie swallowed his mouthful and sat back again like just the sentence had exhausted him. He reached over to play with the end of the scarf he had carelessly thrown on the table. 

“I think that much is apparent, Rich.” Stan nodded with a playful little grin and Richie rolled his eyes which lead to his thing about following every one of Stan’s movements with his eyes. He did that from time to time & Stan as well. But where they differed was Stan only really ‘people watched’ those he did not know because he had all his friends movements committed to memory. Richie, however, only really did this with his friends. And he’d make key expressions that lead Stan to believe he was happy with himself for predicting these movements. It was like he needed some kind of reassurance that he knew them as well as he suspected. 

Stan partly dabbled in the art of observing and noting his friends habitual patterns. He grinned to himself and shook his head the tiniest bit, his own physical note of happiness. Like Stan noticed, Richie’s nose twitched like he had expected that reaction. 

The nose twitching reminded Stan of that show....Bewitched! He figured if any sort of power that character had existed in the real world that it would most surely not be allowed in a restaurant. Especially if the someone who had it was Richie. He could imagine the havoc he’d cause and it made him giggle. “They’ll kick you out for that, y’know.” He mumbled to himself. Richie’s eyebrow quirked but he just waved his hand to forget it. “Never mind that, tell me what’s wrong.” 

“A lot of my relatives are coming over for Christmas and everyone of them bugs me about school and relationships sooo...” Richie trailed off and scooted up to the edge of the table with a look of amused dread. “I told my parents I had a boyfriend.”

Stan put on a little smirk. “I know where this is going.” 

Richie raised his brow but he continued. 

“I’ll do it but only cause I have a swell outfit I’ve been waiting to wear...” Stan trailed off in his special Stan way and rolled his head back on his shoulders with a tiny smirk. 

“Oh no. I told them Eddie was my boyfriend. I mean, I thought it’d work cause my parents like him and I thought maybe everyone else would too. Then they’d get off my back a little.” Richie explained, waving with his hands like he was telling a great story. Stan began to laugh again which annoyed his friend but he didn’t seem to care. 

“I would have made a great boyfriend, y’know? Better than Eddie.” Stan put on a frown and leaned over to punch his friends arm but Richie remained conflicted. “Truthfully, I don’t know if that was the best idea, Rich.” 

From his more upright position, the eyes of one of the paintings locked on him. Stan would scowl or maybe just move if he was alone.

Richie frowned, looking offended. “Why?” He said with a very snippy tone. Stan gave him that look that he absolutely hated. It was the kind of look only Stan could do. It said all he had to say without a lick of speech. It drove Richie nuts because what it said was ‘I know something’. 

“Well, because you like him.” Stan said casually, picking up the salt & pepper shakers to perfectly center them in front of the menus. 

The only reaction Richie could muster was to scoff a few times and try to stumble his way through a reply. “That is ridiculous. Stan, where did you get that?” He narrowed his eyes because the confusion was loud in the back of his brain. “I don’t like Eddie.” He made sure to put the same tone on the word as his friend. 

“Bev and I talk about it all the time.” Stan said in a joking manner but it still pissed Richie off. 

“Well fucking stop cause I don’t.” Richie reached over and pinched him. Stan made a small ‘ow’ sound and rolled his eyes. 

Stan licked his lips and shrugged, leaning his forearms on the table. “Ok, so I was wrong.” He didn’t seem all that bothered and Richie knew it was because Stan still thought of himself as right. It irked the shit outta him. 

“I don’t, Stan.” 

“I didn’t say anything-” 

“You said it with your eyes.” 

“Ok. I said it with my eyes, sorry.” Stan laughed softly. “Anyway, why didn’t you go talk to Eddie about this situation? Considering he is your ‘boyfriend’." Stan stood from the booth with a kind smile and looked down at him. 

Richie pouted up at him like a child. “Eddie’s gonna be maaaad.” He frowned. “He'd have to come over and meet everybody and-” Richie put his face in his hands and chuckled himself before pulling his palms down so his skin would pull. 

“I think you should give em’ a heads up.” Stan patted his shoulder and laughed. But when Richie made the move to get up from the booth, Stan stopped him with a gentle push as he whipped a towel over his shoulder. “Finish your soup first then go find him. He’s probably at the bike shop with Bill.” 

Richie smiled and went for his food again. Stan went the backwards way back to the kitchen to avoid that particular painting. 

                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Bill Denbrough had been many different things in his lifetime so far and a fool was not one of them. Although as he approached the middle of his senior year in high school with his butt planted firmly on a glossy floor and staticky balloons with bright yellow smiling faces as his only company, he realized that everyone was a fool. No exceptions.

He tilted his chin up and felt the thickness of the air from the cloud of dust forming around him. The sneeze he held back gave him the closest thing to a high that he’d had in months. It was kinda nice. The smiley balloons leered above him with a much more mocking energy than he had planned for. Had this been just a couple years ago, he would’ve sworn they were swarming around him. It was deeply upsetting when paired with the cheery winter tunes on the radio. ‘They're really rockin’ around the Christmas tree, huh?’ Bill smiled a cheesy grin back at one because he was alone and did not give a shit. The kind of smile that gave a soft click from the shift of spit and showed off his great teeth. One of the damn smiley things popped. He sneezed.

“Mmmm I didn’t like that.” Bill whispered to himself with a slight grin as he steadied his hand once more on the cherry red bike he was working on. “Not one bit.” He went on meekly but with a spark of amusement. He had to be amused because if he wasn’t he’d be really annoyed.

Bill had worked at Sherwin’s Bike shop for roughly a year working under Mr. Sherwin, a small and outgoing old man. Bill had painted big bubble letters on the windows and wrote fun little sayings on the signs like ‘Sherwin’s Schwinns are sure to win’ for a while. But when the kind old man went and died on him a month ago, he left the store all to some new guy that Bill didn’t very much like. Which was why he was stuck with an early shift that started with being the only one in the store. 

But now, he sat cross-legged on the bicycle shop floor some time later with his huge ‘Women want me, fish fear me’ shirt pooling into the lap of his jeans while he got stalked by smiling kids balloons. “All that worrying for nothing, huh? Turned out great, didn’t it?” Bill pursed his lips as he spoke to himself with such a heavy dose of sarcasm it would have annoyed anyone over thirty. And because he was becoming prematurely bitter, it sure did grind his gears too.

Grind his gears. That was a classic Mr. Sherwin expression. Bill hoped to God he wasn’t just going to straight up turn into the old man when he grew up, though he had loved him dearly. But his wardrobe spoke volumes on that idea. ‘Wearing a dead man’s shirt was like bad luck, wasn’t it?’ Bill paused from his work on the bike to think to himself. He sure hoped it wasn’t because he’d had enough of that in his life already.

It was the only damn piece of clothing in the store which made sense considering he had not thought to be prepared for spilling his coffee all over himself like an idiot at work. There had not been any time to go home for a change before he had to open but luckily, his favorite little old timer left this gem behind....’Almost as if he knew Bill would be an idiot.’ He was always one to tease him. The traces of his less prominent stutter that stayed with him was a popular subject to Mr. Sherwin’s comedy line-up. Bill missed him a lot but that did very little for him. People died on him, that was just the way it went.

One of his tools fell from the perch of his toolbox and shocked him enough to choke on his own spit. “F-f-fuck.” He cursed once he got most of his air back and stood, bringing the bike to full stance and laying it on it’s kickstand. And thus began the orchestra of disaster...

Once Bill had a small glass of water, he set it down to go back to his work but had misjudged his placement and it came to a crashing halt on the floor. The bike toppled over just a few feet away onto the tools which created harsh bangs of metal. Bill smacked himself on the forehead and bent to pick up the glass and cut his fingers. Blood trickled down his cupped hand as he rushed to get a towel that wasn’t covered in garbage.

“This is fine. Wonderful even.” Bill spoke in a voice so sickened with sarcasm and wrapped his hand slowly. He took a few moments to breathe in and out. It wasn’t as if he’d be alone much longer. His co-workers would be starting their shifts soon. That took a little weight off his shoulders and allowed him to relax.

Another balloon popped. 

And the glass doors abruptly opened. Bill almost jumped into the air but he was soothed as Richie came bopping in with a carefree smile. “Hey Bill have you seen-? Christ! What happened!?” 

Richie darted over and Bill was momentarily confused before remembering his cut-up hand. “Oh that...accident.” He tried to wave his hand to dismiss it but ended up flicking blood onto the counter. Richie rolled his eyes and tried to remember some of the medical shit Eddie had told him over the course of their friendship. 

Richie attempted to wrap Bill’s hand properly while the other man shifted around the counter looking tired.

“Hey, at least the good stuff in life only requires one hand, huh?” Richie made an obscene gesture and Bill only rolled his eyes with a look of distaste. He awkwardly chuckled and went back to his job. One of the floating yellow bastards began to deflate slowly and descended a ways towards the floor. Bill felt a flare of silly anger from his gut as he followed it with his eyes. The tension was so thick that Richie briefly looked up & over his glasses to check it out, turning to see what was so infuriating to his friend.  

“You do know that’s just a balloon, right?” Richie chuckled and Bill let out a small grin. 

“Damn t-t-things are annoying the crap outta me.” Bill shook his head and Richie pushed his glasses up. 

“Was Eddie around earlier? Kinda have to talk to him.” 

“No one comes just to visit me anymore.” Bill mock pouted and took his injured hand back from his friend. “Yeah, E-E-Eddie came in looking for you actually. He meant to catch you before he started work but said he was outta time now. So I’d go looking for him at the theater.” Bill said with a grin. Richie rolled his eyes because, of course. 

“I’ll come visit you later, Big Bill. Take care of your hand.” Richie snapped his fingers and made to exit.  

“Oh! Before I forget!” Richie piped back up, sliding closer to Bill again. “Where can a guy like me get one of those ‘Women want me, fish fear me’ shirts? Asking for a friend.” He waggled his eyebrows and made a mockingly curious face all his own.

Bill rolled his eyes but had to laugh at the way Richie spoke and moved. ‘That was his real kicker, he thought. Richie just fuckin’ moved and acted so ridiculous that it was truly his powerhouse. Especially considering it came off so natural.’ Bill shook his head a few times and moved to shrug and shove his hands into his pockets.

“S’not funny Bill. My friend really wants to know, ok?” Richie slapped Bill’s arm and broke himself. ‘His true weakness however was laughing before he could fully commit to a joke. Which could sometimes be even fucking funnier....so maybe it wasn’t a weakness’, Bill thought.  

They laughed endlessly for what seemed like hours. Every-time they thought the bug was gone, they’d just share a look and succumb to weird versions of their usual laughs. One’s that were more like hissing from being a victim of such restrain or their bodies would just rock in silence because nothing could even come out anymore.

“What’s the matter with you, that wasn’t even funny.” Richie spoke through restrained giggles. Bill shrugged and cradled his hand. 

“I dunno. I’ll s-s-see you later, man.” Bill patted him with his good hand and walked with him to the door as he spotted his co-workers beginning to walk in. 

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Richie bopped inside the theater with hesitance. Eddie was a pistol and he was not too excited to hear the whole spiel he would surely have prepared in seconds flat for Richie name dropping him as his ‘boyfriend’. 

Upon entry he could easily spot his tiny friend working as the ticket boy though since it was a slow day, Eddie was texting hurriedly under the tiny little booth. He grinned. Eds was not a champion at being subtle. It was by some miracle that he’d yet to be noticed. Just as Richie was starting to walk over, his own phone buzzed. 

Eddie: Work is dead. Bring me a Redbull. 

Richie held in his giggle and happily skipped on over. “Hey! You shouldn't be texting on the job!” The deep and loud yell was contrary to his bouncy demeanor and wide grin. However, Eddie jumped about a foot in the air and by the look of it, had a mini heart attack. 

“Oh fuck you. I thought you were Robert.” Eddie rolled his eyes and smacked Richie hard in the arm. Robert was Eddie’s manager, a nice little old man, who Richie knew well enough just by visiting Eds all the time. That and he personally rejected Richie’s application on three different occasions. 

“That was the point.” Richie gave some passers-by the side-eye as they looked up to stare at them. The theater was pretty dead so this was the most excitement they probably had all day. “I’m really good at impressions, huh?” He playfully tapped him. 

“It isn’t hard to mock Robert, Rich. Where’s my Redbull?” 

Richie rolled his eyes and leaned on the little booth. “I got here ten seconds before you texted me. I’m not a psychic nor The Flash, y’know?” 

Eddie frowned but shrugged before they fell into an easy small-talk. “So why did you come visit then?” 

Richie grinned again though this time it was a little nervous. “Can’t I just come say hi?” He chuckled and Eddie smirked. 

“You come say hi like every time I’m on the clock. But I can always tell when you want something.” Eddie playfully narrowed his eyes and Richie felt his stomach drop a little. He glanced away and let his eyes drag over the red and gold decor of the theater. He felt the familiar bitterness for not being hired himself, he loved this place. 

“So here’s the thing-” 

“I knew it.” Eddie shook his head with a smile but quickly quieted to let his friend speak. He rolled his lips together, sniffled and rubbed his finger under his nose. 

“You know how my family bugs me about how I never date anyone?” Richie asked and Eddie nodded. “Well, everyone’s coming over for this Christmas party in a few days and it’s a whole thing... dinner, activities, and all that jazz.” Richie made jazz hands with a flat expression and Eddie fought back a tiny giggle. “So in order to dodge all those annoying questions...I told my parents that I have a boyfriend.” 

“You came out to your parents? That’s great! How did they take it?” 

“Great but that’s not the point-” Richie had never doubted his parents would be ok with it. He had a gut feeling that they already knew, probably even before Richie himself did. “I told them I had a boyfriend.” 

“But you don’t have a boyfriend.” 

“Thank you, captain obvious.” Richie rolled his eyes. “That’s the um...-Well I told them that you were my boyfriend..” 

Eddie’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth but Richie was already set on a long tangent. 

“I only said it because they like you so much, Eds. And I just don’t wanna hear that whole spiel again about relationships and I figured I could get them off my backs by being in one. Plus my mom already had suspicions about me being in a relationship. And when I said your name, she seemed pretty psyched....so yeah.” Richie grinned like a child after they’d done something wrong and rubbed behind his ear. 

He recalled the moment he’d told his mother. 

                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had been mindlessly bickering about the yearly Tozier Christmas party while she cleaned the kitchen. The oven cleaner had gone right to his head and made him slightly more irritated than normal. The idea of this tradition was more so a burden to him now than it ever was. Being that once he turned around fifteen, all the questions were about dating and school. And his idiotic cousin who already had a girlfriend. 

“Mom?.....Mom?....Mom!?” Richie whined like a child as Maggie Tozier pulled her head out of the oven with a comical grin that looked eerily familiar, Richie dropped his own grin. “Is everyone coming?” 

“Yes, Richie. Everyone but your cousin. He’s got plans with his girlfriend, y’know.” She poked his shoulder in a very ‘mom’ like way. 

“Oh that’s bull.”

“Richie!” She smacked the back of his head lightly. “Wouldn’t hurt you to just tell me you're dating someone.” She pursed her lips in the same way Stanley Uris did when he ‘knew’ something. He sat up straight with curiosity. 

“What do you mean?” 

“C’mon, I know you do. You go out all the time with the same excuse. ‘Going to hang-out with Eddie.’ or ‘Gonna go visit Eddie at work’. How many times can you be bothering that boy, realistically? I know that’s a cover-up son. I’m hip with the lingo.” Maggie circle her face with an extended finger and Richie held back a burst of laughter. 

Though that had been quite amusing, Richie was momentarily thrown that she’d noticed how much he, quote unquote, bothered Eddie. It wasn’t that much. Of course not. 

“You know your aunts and everyone wouldn’t bother you so much if you just admitted to it and brought her over.” She threw her dish towel over her shoulder, neglecting to remember it was covered in the oven cleaner that made Richie lightheaded and irritable. 

The more Richie thought about it, his mother was on to something. No more long awkward conversations about setting him up with the local teenagers they knew. He gritted his teeth just thinking about it. He held up his hands in mock surrender and spoke without thinking, which he did a lot. 

“You caught me, ma. You’re one...ugh...smart cookie, huh?” He put on some on some old timey voice and bumped her on the arm. She rolled her eyes but actually looked pretty pleased.  “I have a boyfriend.” 

Richie had spoke before he realized he’d basically just accidentally came out of the closet. He wasn’t too concerned but still....

Maggie just lit up though, her smile was wide and loving. “His name....?” 

Richie panicked. “It actually is Eddie! That’s why I hang out with him all the time!” He gestured, very happy with himself. 

‘That was smart, good job.’ He patted himself on the back. 

That is until he realized the consequences of his words. 

                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why don’t you umm...think about it?” Richie suggested, fearing a long rant from the boy. “Keep in mind, it’d sure help me a lot.” He grinned and Eddie chuckled, he felt better. “I’ll come back in like ten minutes.” 

Eddie smiled like he was more so amused at the other boy than pleased, at least that’s what Richie thought. He gently patted Eddie’s arm and began to exit just as he saw Robert make his way over. 

As he headed to the door, he caught the beginning to their conversation. 

“You’ve got some weird friends, Eddie...” 

“Do I now?” Eddie’s voice suggested amusement. 

“Yeah. I don’t like that Richie kid, but you know that. You should hang more with that um....Bill kid or the Mike one. They’re nice respectable boys.” 

“Alright boss.” Eddie laughed. 

Richie couldn’t help but laugh. Though that old man didn’t like him and rejected his applications, Richie fuckin’ loved Robert. 

                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Richie buzzed off for a while, Eddie moved on to cleaning the popcorn machine. His least favorite thing to do in the whole entire world. His thoughts easily drifted to the proposition Richie had given him. And as he cleaned the slimy grease off the counters nearby, he felt his stomach flutter. 

He liked Richie. Liked him. He so badly wanted to take this chance while he could because heaven knows he’d never actually say a thing to Richie about his feelings. He’d sooner die. 

He had mentioned it to Bill however, ‘well more like Bill found out all on his own because he knows me too well & I’m way to transparent but I digress.’ Eddie frowned deeply. Bill would be pissed if he found out Eddie had agreed to a plan like this. He could hear the whole speech about how this would only hurt his feelings in the long run now. But Eddie was thinking about saying yes. Really how bad could the harm be? Yeah he’d get his feelings hurt but he’d get to spend the day as Richie’s ‘boyfriend’...

Screw Bill. He was going to say yes. 

Ten minutes went by astoundingly quick and Richie was easily spotted in the corner of Eddie’s vision just as soon as he started to wipe down the concessions counter. He turned, mouth open to speak but Richie interrupted by sliding a can of Redbull to him. He grinned widely. 

“Oh you spoil me, Richie Tozier.” His voice was light and soft and he could almost feel a blush beginning to bloom on his cheeks. 

Richie happily leaned over the counter to pinch his cheek. “Anything for my Eddie Spaghetti.” 

Eddie swatted his hand away but missed it just as soon as it was gone. For a few comfortable minutes they were silent and smiley.  

Eddie coughed and looked down towards the candy case as if examining the order. “So I’ve thought about it.” 

Richie tried not to get his hopes up. 

“I’ll do it.” Eddie looked up again, once more wiping his finger nervously under his nose. Richie followed the movement with his eyes and looked as if he knew he Eddie was going to do it. He then lit up with a wide smile, so wide in fact that his cheeks pushed his glasses up. 

                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And you said what!?” Bill narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms with all the grace of a middle-aged dad. Eddie gritted his teeth slightly as he responded with a ‘grin’ and twiddled his thumbs. 

“I said yes and it’s too late to change it.” He shrugged with a purse of his lips, looking rather smug. 

“No it’s not! Tell him I s-s-said no!” Bill spoke in all seriousness even though Eddie giggled like a child at that. “Be serious Eddie. This is only going to hurt you in the long run.” 

Eddie pondered that statement for a few seconds and pushed himself off the wall of the bike store. “One day being Richie’s boyfriend is better then nothing, Bill.” 

Bill rolled his eyes and tapped lightly at a bike handle. “I can’t believe you agreed to such a d-d-dumb idea.” He spoke as if he was wise beyond his years. Eddie loved and hated that trait, right now he mostly hated it. 

“Look. I’m not trying to be the bad guy, Eddie. But once the day is done, you and Richie will be too. W-Where will that leave you? S-s-sad and regretful.” Bill rolled his lips together and felt a pinch in his gut. Eddie’s eyes glazed over with thought again and he could tell he was biting his cheek. 

“I’ll be fine and I invite you to call my bluff afterwards if I’m wrong.” Eddie nodded. 

Bill sighed, momentarily giving up the subject in fear of causing too much strain. The two of them ended up watching one of those stupid and unsettling yellow balloons slowly deflate to the ground for twenty minutes. 

                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The day of the Tozier Christmas Party, Richie woke up supremely early to help his mother around the home. The cleaning, the tidying, the whole ordeal. His father sat at the kitchen counter reading the paper without a care in the world while his lovely & helpful son cleaned under the table. 

‘Under the God damn thing. Like seriously? Who was gonna see under the thing? Beside’s maybe Grandma Ruth’s frickin’ dog.’ Richie pouted to himself as he laid under the thing and heard Wentworth Tozier’s soft laughter. Richie decided to give him a little show. 

He moved to crawl under but purposefully misjudged his distance and smacked his head against the table. Wentworth burst into laughter, the kind Richie basked in with pride. Playing stupid wasn’t his preferred method to get laughter but it sure was effective in small doses. 

“Oh Richie....” His mother’s voice cooed from the other room as if she just knew what happened from the ‘thump’ sound.

“I’m ok, ma. Tip top shape even.” Richie stood up as he called out loudly to his mother, rag hanging out of his pocket as he moved to sit next to his father, still chuckling. “So’s the table. Am I done for the day now?” 

Wentworth ruffled his son’s hair. “Sure, sure. But before you go goof off somewhere, is my oh so wonderful son bringing someone to our little party this year?” 

Richie slouched and shrugged him off with a playful frown. “Just Eddie, you’ve met him.” He assumed his father did not no of the details yet. Maggie Tozier might be a gossip but right now she was a little preoccupied, he heard her opening and closing drawers to reorganize them now. Plus, she most likely would want Richie to explain it when he was ready. 

“Ahh Eddie, yes.” He nodded, not seeing anything weird in that idea. Richie pursed his lips. 

“I just wanted to um....” Richie stumbled a little, not quite expecting his nerves to rise as they were. It was a little shocking. He knew 100% that his father wouldn’t care about the gay thing and would love him either way. So was it the Eddie thing he was nervous about? He shouldn’t even care about that cause it wasn’t even a real thing. “Bring someone special, you know?” 

“He’s one of your childhood pals, Rich. Sure he’s special.” Wentworth casually spoke as he filled in another word in his crossword puzzle. “That’s why we invite your ‘Uncle’ Dan. He’s been my buddy since I was ten. Did I ever tell you how I met him-?”

“Yeah Dad. Just a little over two hundred times.” Richie wondered if all father’s had trouble recalling what boring stories they’d told at nausea. 

“Anyway” Richie paused to think. He really had to sell this to get him to believe Eddie was his boyfriend. 

So he took advantage of his nerves to give the best acting performance of his life...’and it wasn’t even that hard!’ His father turned to him, oblivious as ever. “Never-mind it’s stupid.” 

Wentworth smiled up at his child and chuckled, swallowing his first tedious sip of the coffee he’d been nursing. "I say a lot of stupid things, I won't mind."

Richie gave him a look a lot of children give their parents. One of begrudging amusement and familiarity. “Well, Eddie and I are dating, dad.” Richie blurted and bit his lip afterward, wondering if that had been too strong. 

“You don’t have to tell me that.” He rolled his eyes. “All kids your age are dating, son.” He shrugged and Richie blinked. How had he completely missed the point? 

“Each other, dad. We’re dating each other” Richie rolled his eyes. Wentworth grinned. 

“Oh. Alrighty then. Better warn him about your aunts, my boy. They’ll be swarming him with questions.” He stood, the chair squeaking, and patted Richie’s back softly. 

Richie smiled, no teeth, just a casual joyful grin. “Better warn him about you too, dad. You and mom can be quite the handful, I tell ya.” He laughed and felt instant warmth and relief as he leaned back and his father wrapped his arms around him briefly. “Thanks.” He mumbled into his arm. 

His father said nothing else. Just shook his son lightly and kissed the top of his head, a gesture Richie usually hated. 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything had worked out perfectly. Eddie’s mother was going to be out for the day with a friend but not before she helped him bake some peppermint brownies. To avoid suspicion, Eddie insisted they were for his track team because they were meeting for practice today. She was none the wiser to the fact that Track was not even in season right now. 

To sell the point even further, Ben came over early in the morning to help them and to vouch for Eddie’s track story. 

“Eddie. You could have said cross country, at least that’s currently in season.” Ben rolled his eyes with a small laugh. Eddie bumped his elbow and shrugged. 

“Well, track’s what came out of my mouth so we’re going with it.” He sprinkled some peppermint dust on the brownies. Sonia Kaspbrak was getting her things together before she had to leave. “Besides, I’m not doing cross country again. Just track for me.” 

Ben recalled the one year Eddie had done both and all the times he’d complained about running through the ‘fucking disgusting woods, Ben.’ He laughed. “I could guess that.” 

“So what exactly am I helping you with now?” Ben asked, playing connect the dots with the candy cane pieces in his mind. 

“...The brownies.” Eddie said dumbly, arm hovering over the pan of food. Ben laughed again. 

“Yeah, no. I got that dummy. I met what am I helping you cover for?” Ben smacked his arm lightly as Eddie mumbled a small ‘oh’.

“Richie needed a fake boyfriend for a Christmas party to you know, get his family off his back.” Eddie shrugged, casually. 

Ben chuckled again. “Sounds like a nightmare.” He joked. Eddie laughed too after what he thought was a pause. 

“It’s a way to spend an afternoon alright. At least I’ll get some food and shit.” Eddie dusted his hands of crumbled candy and wiped them down his pant legs. “He’s coming over early, just as soon as my mom leaves to....”  He stopped moving his hands to think it over. “actually I don’t know.” 

Ben raised his eyebrows with amusement. 

The two of them finished up the dessert treat and once Sonia had left, with a bit of a struggle, Ben made his exit too. 

Eddie wrapped some tin foil over the pan and placed it on his counter just as a knock came at the door. Just as he swung the door open, a hug black garbage bag thrust into his arms. 

“Is your mom here?” Came Richie’s voice, slightly muffled as Eddie’s face was shoved into the bag. He threw the thing onto his carpet and rolled his eyes. Richie stood in his doorway with a wide mischievous smile and a Christmas sweater that was practically glowing from the twinkle. 

“No but if she was, your ass would be thrown out on the sidewalk by now. Do you have to make such a scene when you enter a room?” Eddie playfully smacked his cheek and Richie shoved him off, moving towards his bag of treasures. 

“The answer is yes, Eddie my boy.” Richie sat on the ground and started to untie his bag. “And look what I have brought for you, my dear boyfriend.” Richie chuckled and Eddie swallowed thickly. 

For a panicked moment, Eddie fully agreed with Bill. Just from the use of that word. It hit him in the gut and took with it his breath, he almost reached for his inhaler. However Richie did not miss a beat and was already pulling crap out of the bag to show him. 

“You gotta pick one so you can blend in with the Toziers, who dress soooooo very cool.” 

The garbage bag was full of Christmas sweaters, each one uglier than the next. Eddie let himself laugh again and took a seat on the carpet with his friend to dig through the pile of mess. 

And for a solid twenty minutes, Eddie didn’t have a care in the world. As long as Richie was making him laugh and displaying his lovely sweater collection, he was happy and carefree. 

After some fun, Richie and Eddie headed on their way together. The drive was surprisingly quiet, each boy inside their own head. Richie admired the falling snow and hoped that it would stick around to last through Christmas day. 

Eddie’s mind was happily pushing out the risks about the day and feeling the slight itch from his borrowed sweater. He was elated from the knowledge that under Richie’s own thin coat, his sweater matched with his. He grinned and twitched his nose. He was pleasantly surprised that he wasn’t feeling that nervous anymore....in fact the only bothersome feeling he was having was that kind of absent feeling? He shook his hands which somehow felt empty as if he forgot something....

“Shit! Oh my god, you’re so stupid.” Eddie smacked his forehead and yelled at himself. Richie just about jumped six feet in the air from the abrupt surprise. 

“Hey! What’d I do???” Richie blinked and Eddie turned to him with a look of amusement and annoyance, he gave that look to Richie a lot. 

“No, I was talking to myself....I made brownies for your family but I doubt they’ll enjoy them much if they’re still in my kitchen.” 

Richie chuckled for a few seconds before realizing they’d have to drive all the way back to Eddie’s house. “Oh crap.” He muttered, fidgeting in the drivers seat like he was going to turn. 

Brenda Lee was singing with a voice of jolly as Richie pulled into a gas station to turn them around. “Should actually get some gas here, Rich. You’re gas light’s gonna be on in like two minutes I bet.” Eddie laughed. 

Richie frowned. He was a really good driver but if he had one problem, it was forgetting to get gas or just pretending he didn’t need to do it. He did not like having to stop because it was an ‘inconvenience’. It made Eddie laugh because what an actual inconvenience it’d be if the guy ran out of gas in the middle of driving. 

As the boy got out of the car, Eddie turned up the radio and felt the vibration of Richie sticking the gas pump in. The radio started out in soft whispers and grew louder in a familiar nostalgic way. Eddie knew just what it was so he lowered his window for his companion. “Listen to what you’re missing, Rich!!” 

“...Another year over. And a new one just begun. And so this is Christmas...”

Richie instantly shouted out a loud cry of enjoyment. He finished filling the car up and hurried over to the window with the brightest grin Eddie had ever seen, he scooted back on his seat as if afraid of the sudden closeness. “This is why I hate getting gas. I miss everything good.” He leaned further into the car. 

“Then get in and lets’ go.” Eddie said, almost begging him to back up and stop leaning over him. 

                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Richie and Eddie made it back to his house and collected the brownies which were just too enticing for Richie not to try on the way back to his house. He ate three out of the huge pan full. Eddie smacked his hand the fourth time he tried to reach for one. 

Richie did a great rendition of Elton John’s ‘Step Into Christmas’ where he got louder and louder every line which ended just in time for him to pull into his icy driveway. He turned the car off and made no immediate move to get out, just leaned back and sighed. “We’re still really early so it’s still probably just my parents.” 

Eddie nodded. 

“You ready for the greatest time of your life, dear?” Richie asked a sweet voice and made Eddie grin and laugh. Richie took that as yes and hopped out of the car in a flash and before Eddie could even think to open his door, Richie opened it for him. 

Eddie whistled as he hopped out, careful not to slip though Richie looked ready to help if needed. “Oh how I love when you’re a gentleman.” He batted his eyes in some impression of a love-struck teen. He didn’t really know for sure what he was going for, after all Richie was the impressionist. 

Richie almost looked flattered for a second, blinking with a shy grin. But almost instantly after, he rushed to the door while Eddie followed after. 

Richie started speaking almost before he even opened the door,  “ 'Zat You, Santa Claus?” He questioned sarcastically as he slid inside with a smirk. “Oh no, just your loving son.” He smiled and then gestured for Eddie to follow him. 

“Dusting off the ol’ Louis Armstrong impression for the holidays, huh?” Wentworth spoke up from the kitchen counter. His newspaper spilled from his hands and spread over the table. His eyes still glanced over to read a few lines as his mother used the sports section as a placemat for cutting up ribbon. She glanced up and the look on her face was way more excited than Richie had expected and suddenly he was nervous again. 

The home was in the process of being decorated, evergreen garland wrapped their banister and bundles of lights nested deeply in the spaces between green and pine cone. Richie was willing to bit his mother had forgot about the annual Christmas sprucing again and borrowed some extra lights from their neighbors. The ol’ time-y 50′s radio that Richie had found at a garage sale was pulled from his room and sat neatly a-top their crappy fireplace. James Taylor was currently wishing them all a merry little Christmas. He smiled. 

“Eddie!” Maggie happily strolled over and stood before them.

“I’m here too mom.” Richie said sarcastically and she waved her hand with a matching smirk. 

“Hi, Mrs. Tozier, Mr. Tozier.” 

Richie could tell Eddie was a little nervous but who wouldn’t be if you had to pretend to be dating someone in front of their parents? 

“I made everyone some brownies...there’d be more if your son didn’t eat three on the way over here.” Eddie playfully smacked Richie’s arm and handed over the pan to Maggie, who looked grateful. 

“He is his fathers boy.” Maggie threw a look to her husband as she slid the treats carefully before him. He was not really paying attention to her and habitually reached out for a sweet brownie. Maggie slapped his hand and gave Eddie a look that said ‘See!’ and they shared a laugh. 

“Hey! What’d I do?” Wentworth questioned, darting his eyes between them. 

Richie felt a little odd at the moment. It was a new level of bonding that just occurred between his mother and Eddie. A simple shared joke about the Tozier boys...’Their Tozier boys’....it made his face burn a holly colored red that luckily no one saw. 

“I thought you kids might wanna decorate the tree before the family shows up.” Wentworth scooted out of his seat and followed them into the living room area, picking up a smaller ornament box while Richie took a larger to set on the couch. 

This was Richie’s favorite activity. God, he loved this time of the year. He started to carefully dig through the boxes for the best ones while Eddie sat down on the couch. “You gonna help me or what, Eddie dear?” 

Eddie scoffed, leaning his body over the box. “I dunno....you probably ate enough sugar to do it all yourself in thirty seconds, Rich.” He spoke softly but with his favorite tone...teasing. 

Richie rolled his eyes and leaned over the box as well, slightly taller so Eddie tilted his chin up. “You’re such a Grinch these days...” He sighed and lifted a clearly handmade ornament, admiring it in his hand. “I miss the boy in this ornament...he was much more fun back then.”

Eddie furrowed his brows and sat on his knees to get a peek of the ornament however Richie moved it from just under his nose. “Oh come on, what is that?” He scurried off the couch and fought him for it. 

Neither boy cared to notice Richie’s parents who were so obviously enjoying the show. Maggie smacked Wentworth’s arm to get him to look and when he did, he held back laughter. “These kids...” She rolled her eyes but let her hand rest over her heart. 

“Aha!” Eddie ripped the thing from his friend and got the look he wanted so badly. It was a handmade clay red and green frame with a photo of the two of them when they were no more than eight. Richie wanted to see the look on Eddie’s face so he instinctively rested his chin on Eddie’s shoulder. He’d been doing that lately a lot since Eddie was much shorter than him. “Awwww...” Eddie couldn’t help but smile. “We look so stupid.” He burst into laughter and thrusted the ornament back to his ‘boyfriend.’ 

“I gotta see this.” Wentworth jumped up and went over to them, Richie gladly handed it over. His dad smiled and shook his head and soon Maggie was over there just the same. 

“And who would’ve known those two idiots would grow up to be two idiots in love.” Richie mocked, hand on his chest before looking at Eddie. That’s when he realized the heaviness of his words. Eddie’s eyes were wide and for a half second, panicked. No one in the room seemed to know what to do but for different reasons. Richie allowed his parents to believe the air was tense because they’d simply not said the ‘L’ word just yet while he and Eddie didn’t make eye contact. 

“Ummm, ok. Who wants to hang the elf with one arm?” Richie held up the broken ornament with an awkward smile. Eddie chuckled, taking it from him, so everyone knew it was ok again. 

They spent twenty minutes hanging shit. There were tons of ornaments Richie didn’t even remember like a vintage looking yellow balloon with a black smiley face. He figured it was one of his dads, he was weird. 

                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had only took two or three guests arriving for Richie and Eddie to fall into a comfortable routine. Mostly because nothing had really changed. Richie always put his arm around Eddie, Eddie always begged Richie for bites of his food when he was perfectly capable of getting his own, and Richie always played with the end of Eddie’s sleeves. 

By the time everyone was all counted for, Richie and Eddie were making their rounds with no problem. Richie could not believe how easy it was. They got told they were the cutest little couple like ten different times. ‘That was strange, huh? Nah, I’m a great actor so...’ Richie got distracted by Eddie looping their arms together. 

Eddie was in shock that he played the part so well. Even family members he’d met before found it completely normal for the two of them to be ‘dating now’. It pained him a lot. Even more than he suspected. 

The two of them and found a moment to themselves in the corner of the room on an old chair. Richie cradled a Pine candle that he raised to his nose every thirty seconds or so. “So, how weird is it for you?” Richie asked, head tilting to the side. 

Eddie frowned. “Very.” ‘painful’. He took the candle to smell it for himself. 

Richie deflated at that answer and he wasn’t quite sure why. That had been what he’d expected. He looked up to where his mother was showing everyone some childhood scrapbook and caught a comment. 

“I knew it. Mary, I’ll tell you that much. I knew those two were a couple.” 

Wentworth rolled his eyes, sipping the most classic dad drink he ever could, eggnog. “No you did not.” 

His mother turned with her lips pursed to start bickering about it and Richie did not want to hear anymore. “What about you, Rich?” Eddie handed the candle back over. 

Richie took in a nice long breath of it and rolled his lips together. “I mean yeah, but when everyone was trying to get us under the mistletoe I was excited. I’ve just been dying to kiss ya, Eds my love.” He grinned and leaned over to pinch his cheeks and Eddie rolled his eyes, slapping his arm to initiate a play fight. 

“Awww look how cute.”

Both boys stopped suddenly as Richie’s aunt Mary stopped in front of them. Their cheeks turned rosy shades of pink. 

“Hey Aunt Mary....” They both smiled awkwardly, dropping their hands into their own laps. 

“Now. I’ve heard from just about everyone on how cute you two are.” She put her hands on her hips and they nodded out of politeness. “But I would like to know how it started. I mean I’ve known you Eddie since you were about...yay big.” She paused to make sure her measurement was right, her hand hovered low to the ground. “So it must be a cute story. You guys were adorable then too.” She laughed. 

‘Crap.’ Of all their preparing, they lacked an actual answer for that. They never did come up with a full story. Richie turned to his friend, who looked equally lost and figured he should take the handle on this since it was all his idea. 

“Well, I think I always just knew, you know?” Richie started, hoping he could pull it off. So he tried to remember why everyone truly believed them. “But I’m pretty shit at being serious about things like that so I always just joked with Eddie about it, I’m sure you remember hearing some of that?” He asked her and she nodded, not even caring that he swore just then. 

“Anyway, I um....” He scratched behind his ear before awkwardly sliding it over to clasp Eddies for a more convincing look. Eddie didn’t even flinch, in fact, he looked rather interested himself. “It was after this really awesome day we had this past summer. We’d all hung out all day and at some point we were the only two left so I asked Eddie if he wanted to get ice cream. And what was it that we got...?” Richie laughed and looked to Eddie. This was such an unnecessary detail but he was basing this on an actual day they had and for the life of him, he could not remember their order from that day. 

“Rocket pops.” Eddie supplied him with what he remembered and shook their hands, for a few seconds they just looked at each other. 

“Oh yeah, Rocket pops. So I being an idiot, thought it’d be funny to scare Eddie on my way back from getting mine and so I did and you should’ve seen him.” He started to laugh. “He must’ve been going for a record jump. Eds Kaspbrak gets twenty feet off ground....” He laughed some more before gathering himself for his aunt’s sake. 

“And he drops his right? We didn’t have anymore money left either so I felt like the scum of the earth.” He pats their clasped hands with his free one. “So I gave him mine. He didn’t even care about my germs. And I dunno...something about that moment was too perfect. I was still out of breath from the greatest day ever, I think Bruce Springsteen was playing on the loud speaker at the ice cream place and he makes me overly confident like nothing else-” He laughed again “And it was so God damn sunny out....so like the perfect day, right?” He was going on one of his tangents. 

Eddie’s hand tightened it’s grip and Richie felt less nervous. “So I just kinda actually realized it for the first time and I knew that I had to say something right then and there or I’d regret it.” He waved his hand and when everyone was still looking, he let it fall. His chest tightened with embarrassment. 

“Awwww, you two are the cutest kids.” Aunt Mary said in that adult tone of voice that read like she didn’t believe they’d last very long and she walked away. However, Eddie smacked his arm hard enough to leave a hand-print. 

“Ow! What’d I do?” Richie rubbed at it and whined. Eddie shook his head and smiled. 

“How did you come up with that?” 

Richie felt himself grow even more embarrassed. “Oh well, you know-” 

“Richie! come here for a minute!” He heard his mother call and was instantly relieved to escape the moment. He gave Eddie a small smile and squeezed his shoulder in habit as he left the room. 

About five minutes later Eddie got bored and walked into the kitchen. He made a terrible mistake when he stopped at the door frame next to Richie where they were now...both under the mistletoe. ‘Crap’ 

This time, they’d done it themselves but no one seemed to notice a part from them. Richie looked up and back at Eddie, then Eddie did the same. 

Both boys remained still and focused on the other. There was something between them in this moment, Eddie was sure. And God he really hoped so. Richie had to be thinking the same thing. Who could say a story like that and not mean it?

Richie twiddled his thumbs as he looked at the smaller boy. That story had just come out of him really. But when he was saying it....boy he really wished that had been what happened. Looking at Eddie right now, he was oh so sure he felt the same way. 

‘This is it. He’s gonna say something’ Richie thought.  

‘This is it. He’s gonna say something’ Eddie thought.  

“Kids come here for a second!” 

They both jumped, maybe breaking Eddie’s record from the ice cream shop and felt their chances were blown. Even worse, both felt that maybe they were reading too much into it. 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He's got to wear his goggles 'cause the snow really bites And he's cruisin' every path with a little surprise-” 

“Dad? Did you just say ‘the snow really bites?’ ” Richie asked his father with a laugh. Wentworth nodded. “That’s not right. It’s ‘the snow really flies’, dad.” 

Eddie chuckled as he plopped into the seat next to Richie. Richie’s dad pulled back with a shocked expression. 

“You’re kidding?” 

“No dad. I know that song in and out. No one knows the Beach Boys better than your awesome son.” Richie stuck his thumb to his chest and Wentworth scoffed, getting up and ruffling his sons hair. Richie watched him go and turned to his small friend. “How goes it, my love?” He pinched his arm. Eddie smacked his hand away. 

“Don’t do that, asshole.” He reached over and pinched him back. Eddie wanted so badly to start actually talking about how he was feeling like a normal person. But he really couldn’t get it out. Bill was right. This was a bad idea and any pain he was feeling was his own damn fault.

‘Little Saint Nick’ faded into ‘Silver Bells’ and Richie lit up like a Christmas tree. “Come on Eds, my dear. We should probably dance, you know?” He held out his hand and Eddie hesitated before allowing it. 

Teasing ‘whoops’ and whistles came from his family members and Eddie hoped he wasn’t blushing. Richie just played along, rolling his eyes and waving his hands at them. 

“-Children laughing people passing meeting smile after smile And on every street corner you hear

Silver bells (silver bells) Silver bells (silver bells)” 

Richie pulled Eddie closer. 

Eddie almost pinched himself. 

Both boys took to the dance as any boyfriends would. Laughing, spinning each other and pulling the other close. Eddie was in heaven. 

Richie leaned his head down as Eddie came close again, smiling into the shorter boys hair. 

“Hey Eds-?” Eddie looked up and their faces were now just inches apart. “I missed the moment last time....but this one’s just as good so...I wanna tell you, I have feelings for you. Like real ones.” 

Eddie almost passed out. “You do?”

Richie loosened up on the boy and nodded. “I know it might be weird and I dragged you into this but holy fuck, I didn’t plan on this. I have feelings and I think I always have.” 

Eddie jumped up and wrapped his arms around his neck and heard distant whistles again. So he just mumbled into Richie’s neck. “Me too. And I’m so happy you dragged me into this.”

                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The losers club was huddled into one small booth at the restaurant where Stan worked. They had just gotten the great news from Richie and Eddie. All that was left to hear was Stan. He came strolling out of the kitchen after his shift ended and slid into what space was left next to Mike. 

He caught sight of Richie, who’s arm was around Eddie and he smirked the widest he’d ever had in his life. 

“Wow. Seems like another case of I was right and you were wrong, huh Richie?” He crossed his arms. Richie shrugged. “I knew you liked Eddie. Before you even knew.” He stuffed some bread in his mouth as the rest of the losers laughed. 

They spent the next twenty minutes having dinner together. Richie pulling Eddie close and the eyes of the ol’ timey paintings followed them all. 

[nonbinarysasquatch]

Because it amuses me, I’ve decided to assemble list of Weird Al polka songs and mark what songs I’ve heard along with notations of which ones are actually in my collection. Skipping Hot Rocks Polka from UHF (yeah, I have heard all of those, and I have some of them in my collection) and Bohemian Polka (is there a human being who hasn’t heard Bohemian Rhapsody, and of course it’s in my collection.)

Songs in bold I’ve heard at some point. Songs and artists in italics I literally know nothing about.

Just because something is in my collection doesn’t mean I love it (though more often than not I do) and just because something ISN’T doesn’t mean I don’t like it.

Polkas on 45 from “Weird Al” Yankovic in 3-D (1984):

"Jocko Homo" by Devo (In My Collection) "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple (In My Collection) "Sex (I'm A...)" by Berlin (In My Collection) "Hey Jude" by The Beatles (In My Collection) "L.A. Woman" by The Doors (In My Collection) "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly "Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendrix "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads (In My Collection) "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner "Every Breath You Take" by The Police (In My Collection) "Should I Stay or Should I Go" by The Clash (In My Collection) "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by The Rolling Stones (In My Collection)

Hooked on Polkas from Dare to Be Stupid (1985):

"State of Shock" by The Jacksons and Mick Jagger "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top "What's Love Got to Do with It" by Tina Turner (In My Collection) "Method of Modern Love" by Hall & Oates (In My Collection) "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes (In My Collection) "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister (In My Collection) "99 Luftballons" by Nena (In My Collection) "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins "The Reflex" by Duran Duran (In My Collection) "Bang Your Head (Metal Health)" by Quiet Riot "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood (In My Collection)

Polka Party! from Polka Party! (1986) (one of Al’s best albums imo):

"Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel (In My Collection) "Sussudio" by Phil Collins (In My Collection) "Party All the Time" by Eddie Murphy "Say You, Say Me" by Lionel Richie (In My Collection) "Freeway of Love" by Aretha Franklin (may have heard as child) "What You Need" by INXS (In My Collection) "Harlem Shuffle" by The Rolling Stones (In My Collection) "Venus" by Bananarama (In My Collection) "Nasty" by Janet Jackson "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco (WHY IS THIS NOT IN MY COLLECTION?) "Shout" by Tears for Fears (In My Collection) "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna (In My Collection)

Polka Your Eyes Out from Off the Deep End (1992):

"Cradle of Love" by Billy Idol (In My Collection) "Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vega (In My Collection) "Love Shack" by The B-52's (In My Collection) "Pump Up the Jam" by Technotronic "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M. (In My Collection) "Unbelievable" by EMF (another I’m surprised I don’t have) "Do Me!" by Bell Biv DeVoe "Enter Sandman" by Metallica (In My Collection) "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground "Cherry Pie" by Warrant "Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls (In My Collection) "Dr. Feelgood" by Mötley Crüe "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice

The Alternative Polka from Bad Hair Day (1996) (welcome to my teen years)

"Loser" by Beck (In My Collection) "Sex Type Thing" by Stone Temple Pilots (In My Collection) "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow (In My Collection) "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails (In My Collection) "Bang and Blame" by R.E.M. (In My Collection) "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette (In My Collection) "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins (In My Collection) "My Friends" by Red Hot Chili Peppers (In My Collection) "I'll Stick Around" by Foo Fighters (In My Collection) "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden (In My Collection) "Basket Case" by Green Day (In My Collection)

Polka Power! from Running with Scissors (1999): (the beginning of the end of my time listening to the radio/watching MTV... seriously 1999 me was so bitter about how music was going to shit...)

"Wannabe" by the Spice Girls "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger (In My Collection) "Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are)" by Pras featuring Ol' Dirty Bastard and Mýa "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" by the Backstreet Boys "Walkin' on the Sun" by Smash Mouth (In My Collection) "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys (In My Collection) "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba (In My Collection) "Ray of Light" by Madonna (In My Collection) "Push" by Matchbox Twenty (In My Collection) "Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind (I HATE THIS SONG AND I SAW THEM IN CONCERT AT ROCK FEST BEFORE THEY WERE BIG AND I WAS LIKE “WOW, THAT BAND SUCKED” THEN INEXPLICABLY THEY WERE SUDDENLY FAMOUS LIKE TWO MONTHS LATER) "The Dope Show" by Marilyn Manson (In My Collection) "MMMBop" by Hanson (I kinda wish I had some Hanson) "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground (In My Collection) "Closing Time" by Semisonic (In My Collection)

Angry White Boy Polka from Poodle Hat (2003) (I wasn’t listening much to the radio at this point, and some of these songs I’m pretty sure I heard a good while after they were in the Polka, I either don’t care about or don’t like most of these songs.):

"Last Resort" by Papa Roach "Chop Suey!" by System of a Down (In My Collection) "Get Free" by The Vines "Hate to Say I Told You So" by The Hives "Fell in Love with a Girl" by The White Stripes (In My Collection) "Last Nite" by The Strokes (In My Collection) "Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed (In My Collection) "Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine "My Way" by Limp Bizkit "Outside" by Staind (In My Collection) "Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock "Youth of the Nation" by P.O.D. "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem

Polkarama! from Straight Outta Lynwood (2006): (We’re at the point where unless I just randomly caught it on the radio or someone I knew played it, I was pretty over popular music and was digging through other musical interests)

"Let's Get It Started" by The Black Eyed Peas (I’m unsure on this one. I know I’ve heard some Black Eyed Peas in the past) "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand (In My Collection) "Beverly Hills" by Weezer (In My Collection) "Speed of Sound" by Coldplay "Float On" by Modest Mouse "Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz featuring De La Soul  (In My Collection) "Don't Cha" by Pussycat Dolls featuring Busta Rhymes "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers (In My Collection) "Slither" by Velvet Revolver "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent featuring Olivia "Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg featuring Pharrell "Pon de Replay" by Rihanna (I feel like Umbrella is the only Rihanna song I’ve heard) "Gold Digger" by Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx

Polka Face from Alpocalypse (2011):

“Poker Face” by Lady Gaga “Womanizer” by Britney Spears “Right Round” by Flo Rida ft. Ke$ha (the first time I heard this in the polka I thought Al was suddenly doing Dead or Alive) “Day 'n' Nite” by Kid Cudi “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum (In My Collection, weirdly enough) “Baby” by Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris “So What” by Pink (I’m surprised I don’t have more Pink) “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry “Fireflies” by Owl City (I know nothing about this band but the name sounds gothic, which probably means it’s pop) “Blame It” by Jamie Foxx ft. T-Pain “Replay” by Iyaz “Down” by Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne “Break Your Heart” by Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris “Tik Tok” by Kesha (she’s on the periphery on the sort of thing I’m into so I checked her out and determined I wasn’t feeling it)

Now That’s What I Call Polka! from Mandatory Fun (2014): (To say that at this point I’ve long since abandoned any way to check out music that isn’t a deliberate choice is almost an understatement but at the same time I’ve become a lot more musically opened minded in recent years AND I’ve been on tumblr which has made me more vaguely aware of stuff younger folks are into):

“Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus (checked out re: controversy iirc) “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People (In My Collection) “Best Song Ever” by One Direction (I legit was like, well hey maybe One Direction is surprisingly good since so many people on Tumblr love them... nope. Sounded like every boy band in the history of ever as far as I could tell.) “Gangnam Style” by Psy (Too heavily referenced everywhere to have not checked it out) “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen (see above re: references) “Scream & Shout” by will.i.am feat. Britney Spears “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye feat. Kimbra (I legit love this song because it sounds like Peter Gabriel, I checked out Gotye without having any idea he had a hit song though) “Timber” by Pitbull feat. Kesha “Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz (Yeah, I’ve BEEN to the Value Village that has since closed on Capitol Hill in Seattle but I’ve never heard the song or seen the video in which it is featured... in fact I’ve never heard any Macklemore, despite Seattleite status) “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams

I think the polkas from recent years come out better than I thought, though I literally only have two songs in my collection from the last one so...

[anavoliselenu]

Monday Chapter 1

Getting married every single year was becoming a pain in the ass. Especially for the maid of honor.

“I really didn’t think he was serious about a yearly wedding.” Selena Havens fiddled with the edges of the yellow chiffon bridesmaid dress, which had entirely too many yards of material. The damn thing belonged on a slow talking southern belle, complete with parasol and white ribbons, not on her as she stood up for her best friend…again.

“It’s romantic,” Gwen offered.

“It’s stupid.”

Samantha and Blake were going on two years of marriage and already had little Eddie. At first when Blake announced he was going to marry Sam every year on their anniversary in a different state, Selena had thought it was sweet. Now after a full week of non-stop wedding planning, she and Gwen, Blake’s sister, were sweating it out in San Antonio planning their big Texas-themed wedding. Except Gwen was English and entirely misguided about Texas. Where there should be cowboy hats and western flavor attire, everything had turned south. Deep south. More like a scene from Gone With the Wind than Dallas.

“Don’t fret, Selena. They won’t all be this grand.” It took some time to get used to Gwen’s British accent, but Selena was used to it now.

“I’m not fretting. I’m pissing and moaning. Get it right! Do you have any idea how hot these dresses are going to be outside in the smoldering heat?”

Gwen displayed perfect teeth as she smiled. She pivoted in a circle, reached into a large bag from the bridal knick-knack store they’d found the day before, and removed two white and gold folding lace fans. “I thought of that.”

Well, at least it isn’t a parasol.

Gwen handed her the fan and turned to the bag again. Out came two perfectly matched frilly umbrellas.

“Ugh! I spoke to soon.”

“Excuse me?”

Selena refrained from rolling her eyes as she reached for the parasol.

Why did it have to be yellow? Nobody wore yellow!

“You don’t like them.” Gwen’s arms dropped and her excited expression fell.

I hate ’em. “They’re very…country.” In a southern plantation kind of way. But Selena couldn’t say that to Gwen. Pampered, rich, and completely naive, Gwen meant well. She executed poorly, but did it with a golden heart.

“Isn’t that what we’re going for, country?”

Selena opened the sunny umbrella and forced a smile to her lips. “This does say country.”

“Splendid. I think we have all we need then.” Oblivious to Selena’s unease, Gwen continued removing small trinkets from her bag, perfectly matching earrings, necklaces, and yes, even ribbons for their hair. Selena started to think she’d look like a buttercup on top of the cake by the time Gwen finished. “Oh, look at the time. We need to run,” Gwen said.

“I thought we were done.”

“We need to make another pass at the ranch and assure Neil that security won’t be a problem.” Neil, Sam and Blake’s personal bodyguard, was built like a brick house, completely immovable if he wanted to stay in place. He smiled so seldom Selena hadn’t known he had teeth until after she’d known him for six months.

“Can’t Neil check it out himself?” She was hoping for a cocktail in the hotel bar, followed by a hot bath in the penthouse suite. While in Texas, she was working on finding new clients for Alliance. Men and women. Samantha founded the elite matchmaking firm and brought Selena on as full partner after she married Blake. In the past two years, Selena had recruited over a dozen women and matched three couples. Unlike other matchmaking companies, Alliance matched couples based on their life goals, not for love or a happily ever after. There were men out there who wanted a wife as a status symbol, or needed a temporary partner to obtain a job or promotion. In Samantha’s case, she and Blake married because of a mandate in Blake’s father’s will. As it turned out, the two fell recklessly in love with each other and had Eddie before their first anniversary.

Selena was always on the lookout for new clients. What better place than Texas, where the men were often rich, and the women were perfectly polished and sometimes available.

“You know how difficult Neil can be. I’ll need to convince him the paparazzi won’t make it past the gates.”

The taste of that cocktail was drifting farther away. Selena reached into her purse and grasped a clip before piling her shoulder-length, hair high on her head. The humidity had flattened it to nothing on their earlier excursion. No use pretending her hair would cooperate after more assaulting heat.

“Okay, let’s go. But I’m driving.”

Gwen was used to having a hotel driver taking her wherever she wanted to go. She said she didn’t like to drive in the States because of the cars being on the opposite side of the road. Selena didn’t care for the dependence on another driver to get her around so she’d opted to rent a car.

Thirty minutes later, they were driving down a Texas highway in a compact rental car. The air conditioner running at full speed hardly made a dent in the oppressive heat. Selena clutched her fist and hit the top of the dashboard. “I don’t think the air is working right.”

Gwen sat quietly in her seat, using the folding fan she’d bought for the wedding. “It’s not far. We’ll survive.”

Yeah, but the heat was weighing on Selena’s nerves, not to mention her shirt was sticking to the back of the seat. Considering Gwen was from Europe, Selena was surprised she wasn’t full of complaints.

In fact, Gwen hadn’t stopped smiling since they’d left the hotel.

Hmmm, she’d have to analyze that.

There was a guard gate on the property. When they approached, and Selena gave them their names, the attendant waved them through. “Mrs. Hawthorn is waiting for y’all,” the cowboy said while tipping his hat.

“I love the Texan accent, don’t you?” Gwen asked.

“It grows on you after a while.”

“I think it’s charming. Everyone seems so polite.”

Selena drove the car down the long tree-lined drive to the front of the sprawling ranch house. “Americans think everyone with a British accent is intelligent. We both know that isn’t true. One night in a honky-tonk and you’d learn that not all cowboys are polite.” For some reason Selena felt it was her duty to keep an eye on Gwen, much like an older, more experienced sister would.

“I’m not as naive as you think I am,” Gwen chided.

“Hmmm.” Ya, right.

“I’m not.”

Selena glanced over and met Gwen’s scowl. Her porcelain features and perfect makeup, along with the accent, added to the innocent poster child image.

“I may have gone to boarding school, and lived most my life at Albany behind locked gates, but I’ve done some traveling on my own.”

“Let me guess, with a bodyguard the size of Neil hanging around?”

“Hans isn’t nearly as big as Neil.”

Selena rolled her eyes. “Hans? His name is Hans?”

“He’s from Sweden. His specialty is in martial arts.”

Selena would have laughed if Gwen wasn’t so serious. “So where is Hans now?”

“At home. I didn’t think he needed to accompany me here. I knew I’d be with you and could call on Samantha or Blake anytime. Besides, you don’t seem to need anyone holding your hand to keep you safe.”

That’s because I know how to take care of myself. “You’re not me.”

“No, but I’m capable of staying out of trouble without a bodyguard.”

Unaccredited confidence could lead to trouble. “You know I’m leaving the day after the wedding.”

“I know.”

Selena put the car in park and kept it running to keep what cool air they could blowing on them as they talked. “When are you flying home?”

“I haven’t decided. Mother wants me to fly home with her, but I think I might stay here for a while longer.”

“I think you’d be better off going home with your mom.”

“I’m not a child.”

“Didn’t say you were.”

“I think you did.”

Gwen’s defenses were up. Selena placed a hand over the other woman’s. “How old are you, twenty-five?”

Gwen’s jaw dropped. “I’m thirty-one.”

Too old to be walking around with a babysitter. “I tell you what. Tonight we’ll put on a pair of jeans, find a couple of hats, and look for that honky-tonk. Maybe I can give you a few tips so you can stay out of trouble.” Not exactly the environment to recruit new customers, but leaving Gwen to her own defenses was kinda like leaving a kitten with a dozen pit bulls.

“What if I want to find some trouble?”

“Then it’s best you have someone to keep you from getting hurt. Hence, you’ll need someone like Hans.”

“Fine, no trouble. I’d like to keep myself safe, have some fun, and leave un-accosted.”

“Fine.”

Gwen smiled and pushed the door open.

The sweltering heat sucked the energy from every pore of Selena’s body. Maybe a cool bar and a beer would help knock her out of her current funk.

Selena hiked her purse over her shoulder and rounded the front of the car.

“Oh, Justin, how nice of you to come.” Gwen’s voice pierced the air with her greeting.

Selena skidded to a stop. Justin?

Gwen reached the steps to the ranch house and greeted Justin in the classic European style, kissing both of his cheeks. Dressed in casual slacks and a cotton button up shirt, Justin Billings tossed on his easy smile. As usual he said exactly the right things, at exactly the right times. “Don’t you look lovely. You’d never know it’s a thousand degrees out here.”

Selena’s heart pounded in her chest. Here stood the real reason for her unease. Justin Billings was everything she’d ever wanted in a man, but completely out of her reach. Something inside her ignited every time she saw him. Sadly, that response usually ended up in a snarky remark or defensive battle. He walked with more confidence than a tomcat in a dark ally in Brooklyn, charmed everyone he met with only a smile, and oozed sex appeal like syrup dripping off a double stack of pancakes.

Justin ran his hand through his sandy blond hair and caught her gaze when Gwen walked past him and into the house. Selena watched his chest rise and fall with one deep breath before he started down the stairs to greet her.

“Hello, Selena.”

“Hey, Justin. What are you doing here?” Damn, that sounded snotty. The heat was frying her brain.

“I take it you’re not happy to see me.”

“Didn’t say that. Wasn’t expecting you is all.” Is all? The locals were sliding into her speech.

He crossed his arms over his chest, tucking his fingers under his arms. “Gwen asked Neil to come, Blake asked me to give a report on Gwen.”

Selena glanced over Justin’s shoulder to the empty doorway. “Why doesn’t Blake ask Neil about her?”

“Neil doesn’t offer gossip, only facts. Blake would be more frustrated with a, ‘she’s fine’ response.” Justin dipped his voice to mimic Neil’s. Selena couldn’t help but smile.

“She is fine.” How did one woman instill such a need for these men to coddle her?

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Selena shoved a lock of hair that managed to fall out of her loose bun from her eyes. Justin watched the movement, his eyes wandering to the tip of her head. “Let the judge, judge then.”

“I’m not a judge any longer.”

“No, you’re a politician.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Politicians are hated almost as much as lawyers.” Which Justin was. Or had been anyway. At thirty-seven he’d climbed more ladders and overturned more goals than a man twice his age. His sights were now on Sacramento and, according to the polls, his chances were good.

“Ouch.”

“I call ’em as I see ’em.”

He stood aside, his smile never falling from his full lips. “Well why don’t you call ’em inside. It’s hard to judge my ward out here in the heat.”

“She’s not your ward,” Selena informed him as she walked by. Even in the heat, she managed to catch of scent of the musk rolling off his frame. She shivered, ignoring the pleasure his scent brought over her.

“She’s not yours either, but I didn’t see her driving up here alone.”

“Don’t you have laws to pass or something?”

He chuckled as she passed him on the stairs. “I’m not the governor, yet.”

“I’d think babysitting a grown woman was off your list of judicial duties.” The cool interior of the house was welcome relief from the heat.

“Maybe my political ones, but not my friendship ones. You’d do the same for Sam and don’t even try and deny it.”

He had her there. Not that she’d let him know her thoughts. “Whatever.”

****

Justin followed the lucky bead of perspiration that travel down Selena’s neck and disappeared down the ‘v’ of her shirt. He shifted on his feet as he thought of where that tiny bit of moisture might have traveled. At five seven, Selena’s sun kissed skin and sultry, brown eyes had a way of drawing him in.

As if sensing his attention, Selena tilted her head to the side. Her movement forced his eyes from her br**sts to her face. He didn’t even have the decency to be embarrassed about being caught checking her out. He should be, he knew. But he wasn’t. Justin lowered his eyes to their hostess who stood beside Gwen and Neil and pretended to listen.

Thirty minutes later, they stood on a vast lawn surrounded by split rail fences a few hundred yards away. The smell of horses and heat filled the air.

“We own over five-hundred acres,” Mrs. Hawthorn was explaining.

“How do you keep out unwanted guests?” Neil asked.

“I’ll have extra ranch hands available to head off any wandering spectators. They’ll have to walk a long way to reach us here. And if they drive a car, we’ll see them long before they have a chance to sneak in.”

Mrs. Hawthorn strolled over to the large outdoor entertainment area, complete with fire pits and permanent tables. Bales of straw outlined the area adding to the charming Texas setting.

Selena walked away from Mrs. Hawthorn toward one of the ranch’s employees. The cowboy wore tight blue jeans, boots, and a Stetson. The man smiled and tipped his hat when she strolled up. Justin walked a couple of steps her way but couldn’t hear what she was saying. The young cowboy glanced over to Gwen and made a couple of hand gestures. Selena seemed to thank the man and turned back to their tour.

Gwen directed her attention to Selena. “Why don’t you go on and show Justin the inside layout while I speak with the man in charge of security.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice. It’s hotter than sin out here.” Selena pivoted on her heel and bee-lined for the house. “Coming?”

Justin picked up his pace to meet her at the door, holding it open while she walked inside.

“Mrs. Hawthorn has offered half a dozen rooms for our use the night of the wedding. For guests who might have too much to drink, or for those who come at the last minute without accommodations.” Selena walked past a back staircase and pointed. “There’s a balcony overlooking the venue—one where Blake can post extra security who might be able to spot something in the distance, or an uninvited guest.”

Justin followed behind, watching the sway of her butt as she rounded the corner and walked down the long hall.

“You guys can stage in here while you’re waiting on Sam.”

She kept walking and talking. Justin barely heard a word. Much like most of the times he’d been in Selena’s presence, she numbed his brain to nothing, making it difficult to think. He’d always felt a sizzle when she walked in the room. If he had to guess, he’d say she was as attracted to him as he was to her. Yet neither of them ever acted on it.

Well…almost never.

Christmas the year before while celebrating with Blake and Samantha and about fifty friends, there was their almost kiss under the mistletoe. They’d both been drinking, barely skimming the surface of sarcasm with each other the whole night. Selena had worn a skintight red dress that was slit half way up her thigh. She’d pulled back her dark hair allowing only small bits of it to swing along her slender neck. Every time she’d passed him that night, her perfume caught hold of him. It was like she’d gripped his neck and squeezed. Sucked in by her light, he’d noticed when she peeled away from the crowd and followed her.

She’d turned unexpectedly, colliding into him. They stood there for a moment, appraising each other. Selena broke eye contact and glanced at the ceiling. She’d mumbled something under her breath and he’d looked up. God bless mistletoe. He placed a hand on the side of her face and fanned his fingers to the back of her neck. He remembered the need to kiss her slowly.

So much for that plan.

Just as he leaned in to taste, one of the party guests called his name from across the room. Selena jumped back and out of his arms.

Neither of them ever spoke of it. In fact, they went on as if it had never happened.

He supposed it was because both of them were such good friends with Sam and Blake that neither of them wanted to screw that up.

Justin went on to date, or at least be seen with other women, and Selena did whatever she did for the company she and Samantha ran.

“So what do you think?” Selena was talking to him, but he didn’t have a clue about what.

“Excuse me?”

“The house?”

“What?”

You’ve not heard a word I’ve said.”

“No, no you told me about the room we’ll be in, about the balcony.”

She perched her hands on her hips and offered a haughty look. “I went over that fifteen minutes ago. I don’t know why I bother,” she said turning away.

“I’m distracted,” he admitted. “Lot of things on my mind.”

“I have better things to do with my day, too. Tell you what, why don’t you just tell Neil you approve, and we’ll be on our way.”

Justin smirked. “Trying to get rid of me?”

Her eyes shot to his faster than lightning strikes a stormy sky. “Wanting you gone would imply I care that you’re here.”

She was trying hard to keep a disinterested look on her face, but she started to nibble on her fingernail and broke eye contact. You care. You might not want to, but you do.

“Ouch.”

She glanced at her fingernails and fisted her palms. “Oh, forget it. Let’s get out of here before I melt.”

“Sounds good.” Because standing here fantasizing about her wasn’t doing anyone any good. Besides, last time Justin checked, he had a date for this wedding and it wasn’t with the woman in front of him.

Selena strolled off and followed way behind. He really should be thinking about the Texas millionaires attending this “renewal of vows” ceremony and not about the maid of honor.

“I’ve thought of everything, Neil. You can tell my brother he’s perfectly safe and the only media pictures being taken will be from the one reporter he’s invited to attend.” Gwen waved Justin’s way. “Be a love and appease him, will you?”

Justin eyed Neil and shrugged.

“Thank you again for your time, Mrs. Hawthorn. We’ll see you in a few days.”

Mrs. Hawthorn allowed Gwen to kiss both her cheeks and waved as the two other women climbed into the car. “Have fun, girls.”

Justin stood beside Neil and Mrs. Hawthorn while Selena and Gwen drove away.

Selena didn’t even glance in her rearview mirror as she drove away.

“They were in a hurry to leave,” Neil announced.

“I noticed that, too.”

Mrs. Hawthorn placed a hand on one hip. “Wedding planning isn’t easy. They’ve been working hard. It’s a good thing they can get away for a night of fun before the festivities.”

“Night of fun?” Neil asked.

Justin followed the dust down the road.

“According to Billy, Selena asked about a local watering hole where the two of them could kick back and relax for a few hours. Dance a little and blow off some steam.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Watering hole?”

“I can’t see Miss Gwen in a Texas bar,” Neil exclaimed.

Selena maybe, but Gwen? “Looks like you’re not flying home tonight,” Justin told Neil. Passing up the opportunity of spying on Selena and Gwen was out of the question.

Chapter Two

The hotel gift shop provided the perfect pair of skin-tight jeans, cowboy boots, and cowgirl hats. Gwen wasn’t about to go into a Texas bar dressed as the daughter of a duke. Unlike shopping for the yellow bridesmaid dresses, Selena actually enjoyed their brief walk on the country side of the store.

Loud music with just the right amount of twang, and lyrics about lost love filled the bar. Several couples crowded the dance floor. Their bodies were glued together and moved as if they were one unit.

Selena took the lead and walked through the crowd to a couple of empty seats at the bar. The two of them turned a few heads and received a couple of smiles before they sat down.

“I can’t believe how crowded it is,” Gwen said over the noise.

“Makes it more interesting,” Selena told her.

The bartender placed a couple of napkins in front of them. “Ladies,” he said, tipping his hat.

She lifted up two fingers. “Two beers.”

Gwen scoffed. “But—”

“You can’t drink wine in a beer bar, Gwen.” Selena knew where her friend was going with her haughty but. Surprisingly Gwen didn’t argue.

Gwen folded her hands in her lap on top of her purse. She sat rod straight with her big doe eyes wide open. Her fingers tapped to the music and a smile played on her lips. What did Gwen see? For her, this night was about adventure and overcoming some of her social fears. Sure, there were people dancing and having a good time. From the looks of the crowd, there wasn’t anyone completely wasted, yet. Beer drinkers tended to get rowdy later in the evening.

“Here ya are, ma’am.” The bartender sat the bottles down. Selena reached into her purse to pay. “Already taken care of,” he said nodding to the end of the bar. There sat two single men with button up western shirts and Stetsons. Selena made eye contact with the one sitting closest to her. His dark hair and finely manicured mustache outlined a ruggedly attractive face. She lifted her bottle with a tiny nod.

“Did they buy the drinks?” Gwen asked.

“Seems so.”

“Should we go over and thank them?”

Selena turned away from the men and brought the bottle to her lips. After a sip she said, “No need. They’ll be here in less than five minutes.”

Gwen held her bottle and smiled over the bar to the cowboys. “How do you know that?”

“Because you’re still staring at them which they’ll take as an invitation.”

Gwen dropped her glance to the floor and swiveled in her seat.

“My God, you really don’t get out much.”

Gwen’s cheeks turned red. “I’m pathetic.”

“You’ve been sheltered. Not completely your fault.”

Gwen sipped her beer. To her credit, she didn’t frown at the taste. “Sheltered and pathetic.”

Just how innocent are you? “Please tell me you’ve had boyfriends.”

Gwen’s jaw dropped. “I’ve had lovers. I’m not a virgin if that’s what you’re implying.”

“Why that’s a mighty fine piece of information, darlin’. I could swear you’re as innocent as a new born calf.”

Selena and Gwen both shot their eyes to the rugged cowboy who had made it to their side in less than two minutes.

Gwen’s cheeks grew instantly red, and her eyes opened wide.

“Thanks for the drinks,” Selena said, trying to remove the attention from Gwen’s outburst.

“My name is Rick. This here is Jimmy.” Jimmy was an inch or so shorter than Rick and a good twenty pounds thinner. Both were easy on the eyes.

“Selena,” she said, “And my non-virginal friend Gwen.”

Gwen elbowed her in the side and Selena laughed.

Rick and Jimmy were kind enough not to keep the joke going. “Mind if we join you?”

Selena nodded to the empty seat on her right. Rick sat and Jimmy said, “I’ll keep an eye out for an open table.”

Gwen moved a little closer to Selena when Jimmy stepped closer to her. This was going to get awkward in a heartbeat. “Why don’t I hold this,” Selena reached for Gwen’s beer, removed it from her fingers. “And you two dance.”

Gwen leaned over and tried to whisper. “I don’t even know him.”

Selena smiled and nudged her out of her chair. “Go. We’re here to have fun.”

Jimmy was already reaching for Gwen’s elbow.

“But I don’t know how to dance like that.”

Jimmy helped her to her feet. “Where are you from?”

“Outside of London.” Gwen sat her purse on the barstool.

Jimmy winked. “Well, English, I learned the two-step when I was five. I’m sure I can show you.”

“You sure?”

“C’mon.”

Selena followed Gwen as she stepped on the dance floor. She stiffened when Jimmy wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to his frame. After only a couple of missteps, Jimmy successfully had Gwen swinging to the music in what appeared to be complicated dance moves.

“Do you always watch your friend so closely?” Rick asked.

“It’s in the handbook of girls. We go to the bathroom in pairs, tuck each other’s tags in, and we watch out for each other.”

“She doesn’t seem to be watching you.”

Selena let her gaze drift to the cowboy on her right and smiled. “She’s just trying to keep from breaking your friend’s feet. Hard to do that and watch me at the same time.” Rick was cute. His accent adding to his smooth demeanor, but he wasn’t doing a thing for her libido. Chemistry was a bitch that way. On the outside, two people might seem to be right for one another, but on the inside, they simply didn’t fit. Or they exploded much like her and Justin.

Rick must not have felt the same. He settled into his chair and kept the conversation going.

****

Justin elbowed Neil into the back of the bar far away from Selena and Gwen and did his level best to slip into the shadows.

From the look of Gwen’s faltering steps, the women had been in the bar for at least an hour, maybe two. Gwen’s hair was falling out of place and on occasion her voice rose above the others. She’d danced with at least three different men in the short span of time he and Neil had been there. If it was any consolation, Selena dumped some of Gwen’s drinks into forgotten glasses on the table.

Neil’s white knuckles clutched the beer in his hands as he watched Gwen spin around the dance floor. “She’s drunk,” he muttered through clenched teeth.

“I’d say you’re right.” Justin took a pull on his beer, eyes glancing over to Selena. She was talking with two men sitting at her table where she’d spent most the night. One of them stood and offered her his hand. She hesitated, but then stood and let him lead her to the dance floor.

Her tight little ass wiggled in step with the music as if she were born to country western dancing. Her partner kept his hands on her hip for about thirty seconds, and then they started to slip.

It’s hard to hold the glass when my fingers want to crush it. Another couple blocked Justin’s view. He shifted in his seat but still couldn’t find Selena in the crowd. When he caught up with her, she’d called the dance short and was sitting at her table again, this time talking with another guy. When cow-dick number two reached over to touch Selena’s shoulder, Justin couldn’t take any more. “You watch Gwen.”

“Don’t worry, I am,” Neil said.

The music shifted into something slower by the time he reached Selena’s table. Not too gently, he removed cow-dick’s fingers from Selena’s back and grasped her elbow.

Her shocked expression met his and the cowboy took to his feet. “Can I help you?”

A tattoo of a cross sat on the man’s hand who was making time with Selena. It was almost unnoticeable, but Justin knew its meaning. “You owe me a dance,” Justin told her while ignoring the man

Maybe she was too shocked to deny him, but she stumbled to her feet and let him pull her in his arms. Her heat socked him in the gut as his body grazed hers.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Justin darted a glare at the men watching them from across the room. “Saving a woman from a bunch of yahoos planning on a night of fun.”

He spun her around, she spun him back and glanced at the men. “They’re harmless.”

“Really?”

“They only look rowdy.”

“So they’ve been buying you ladies drinks all night to test your limit for nothing?”

She stepped on his foot. He quickly recovered and kept them dancing. “How long have you been here…watching?”

Oh boy, he shoved his foot in far this time. “Long enough.”

“How long, Justin?”

“Neil was worried about Gwen.” Thinking of his best friend’s sister, he lifted his gaze around the room to try to find her. He caught a glimpse of her blonde hair and petite frame as someone led her out the door. “Oh, damn.”

Justin abruptly ended the dance and tugged Selena alongside him.

Neil was already ahead of him.

The crush of sweaty bodies made it hard to cut across the bar. Justin knew at least one of the men at Selena’s table followed.

“What are we doing?”

“C’mon,” he told her. They finally reached the front door and emptied onto the parking lot just in time to see Neil grab the guy Gwen had been dancing with. Neil pinned him to the hood of a truck and pulled his fist back.

“Stop!” Gwen shrieked

Neil hesitated, but only for a second before his fist flew.

The man across the hood of the truck was no match for Neil. The bodyguard let loose two blows and pulled back. “The lady said no.”

“Where the hell did you come from?” one of the men from the bar yelled as he shoved his way into the mix.

More people poured out from the bar to watch the drama. Justin was sure at least one cell phone zeroed in on him. A bar fight in a parking lot in Texas was probably not the best way to get votes.

“It’s all over, buddy. The big guy here is just protecting an innocent woman,” Justin said trying is best to defuse the situation.

“She looked willing to me,” the guy yelled before the stranger’s fist flew and connected with Justin’s face.

He spun around and came up low, tackling his attacker around his waist and shoving him onto the nearest car.

Everything exploded around him. Justin took another blow to his torso before he returned punch for punch. Adrenaline ran through his veins like fire, fueling his swings. Muscle memory took action and within twenty seconds, Justin had the man pinned to the car alongside his buddy. “No, always means no!”

The man under him stopped struggling. Men from the bar broke through the crowd like linebackers at the fifty-yard line.

“Dammit, Jimmy, what are you two doing?” someone called.

Justin pushed away from the man he’d fought and stepped out of swing range. He stared at his enemy, waiting for him to flinch.

He didn’t.”

“Neil,” Justin yelled. “Why don’t you take Lady Gwen back to her rooms? I’ll ride with Selena.”

Selena patted Gwen on the back. “I’ll see you back at the hotel.”

When Justin focused on Selena, she had her arm looped through Gwen’s, both of them stared at the crowed with unease.

Gwen nodded.

He motioned for Selena to move to her car.

“My purse is in the bar,” she told him.

Neil escorted both women away from the drunken men, and Justin went inside after her purse.

He picked up Gwen’s designer bag and then Selena’s. Yet when his hand landed on Selena’s bag her felt something hauntingly familiar inside. Unable to stop himself, he opened the purse and found exactly what he thought he’d see.