#what the fuck did op want the creators to do good lord

[aromanticannibal]

I saw someone complain about how apparently raine was created only to be eda's love interest and op was like hoho ofc the only nb character is a love interest with no character development and like.

I'm sorry I am physically unable to see this as a problem. raine is good representation, like they just are. not ever queer character needs to be incredibly important to the plot to be good rep? also it's not like raine is a side character that was thrown in in the back for cheap rep, they have an important role for eda's developpment and theyre literally the head of the rebellion against belos (aside from eda who rebels against everything). and THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY NON BINARY CHARACTER EITHER?? masha I think is their name is nb too (and they are a very very side character but we already have raine it's not like they're the only nb character again) and the collector uses he/they pronouns im pretty sure. good lord.

I want to bang my head against a wall. how do you Live.

it reminds me of when I saw someone saying TOH is shit queer representation and racist (??? somehow) because it doesn't do enough? bro? the main character is a neurodivergent OPENLY bisexual black latina girl. what do you want MORE. she's in a relationship with her lesbian girlfriend, the world girlfriend was said, trey kiss and hold hand. They put so much diversity in this show it got fucking canceled.

[cto10121]

R&J Clown Takes Round ♾ Part 12

In which there is a lot of sympathy for the devil parents, more Romeo the Death Eater-ing, and heartbreaking! One of my favorite shorts creators did a Rosaline skit and attracted all the clowns to her yard. I forgive her, but not the clownery. Hie-ho, and away we go

Sympathy For the Parents

‘If they only just talked to their poor parents, there would have been no tragedy!1!!1”

Yes, the Montague parents seem like nice people. They are concerned with Romeo’s odd behavior, Mama Montague dies of heartbreak when her son is banished, etc. Then again, Lord Capulet seemed like a very decent parent as well, refusing Paris’ suit and wanting to let at least two summers go by before Juliet can marry. And we all know how that went.

With regards to Lord Capulet, he is definitely characterized as a fair weather friend—if you are with him, it’s cool, but if you in any way threaten his authority…you’re a saucy boy and his fingers begin to itch. Lord Montague may be of that same ilk for all we know. Why else would Romeo trust Friar Lawrence with his crush over his own parents and even, er, Benvolio?

While it’s totally normal for teens to keep things to themselves, I think we can trust Romeo and Juliet’s assessment of their parents in terms of trust and reliability as an unfortunately correct one, at least when it comes to this. After all, the very first appearance of the lords is when they are threatening to kill each other. So yeah.

At least you know Paris as a paternalistic douche, OP. Small wonders.

Yes, it sucks that Paris died for virtually no reason at all. Guy wasn’t that bad. However, I must question this framing of Paris’ death as him dying to defend Juliet.

He does say that the Capulets believe that Juliet died out of grief of Tybalt’s death, and so blames Romeo for it. He also believes that Romeo is here “to do some villainous shame / To the dead bodies.” Not just Juliet, then, but Tybalt as well. He then tries to do a citizens’ arrest on Romeo.

Romeo does try to correct this misunderstanding, telling him that he is armed against himself. But as Romeo really isn’t well, and oblivious Paris is oblivious…🤷‍♀️

YMMV, but I feel Paris didn’t have to fight Romeo, especially when the latter was refusing to. He could well have called the guards and/or trapped Romeo in there. Romeo would probably had let him, as he was about to die, anyway, so it made no difference.

So no, I feel this doesn’t make Romeo less sympathetic. Romeo at that point is a dead man walking, and he more than makes up for it by honoring Paris’ last wishes and not being jealous that Paris loved her too. I think most productions just cut his death for time and for ‘eh, unnecessary, loose end, breaks Romeo’s reunion with Juliet’ reasons than ‘oh, no, Romeo is unlikable now and we can’t have that’ reasons.

There are just so many better Shakespeare plays!!! Like…like…you know! Hamlet and Macbeth…which are in the curriculum already and taught widely…shit, um…Twelfth Night and Much Ado…shit, they’re taught too…er…You know what I mean, much better Shakespeare plays!!! *foot stomp*

Romeo Hate Dumb Round Infinity and Beyond

Romeo was a discord mod, Juliet was his kitten—

*Planet of the Apes: The Musical voice*

He loved ev’ry girl he met

From Rosaline to Juliet

Yes, he fell in love with ev’ry bland coquette

Oh, no, wait, you are wrong

It was two all along

And the one he truly loved was

Yes, the one he truly loved was

The one he had truly loved was Juliet!

And now these dumbasses are trying to use this play as a teaching tool against suicide, fuck, okay, PSA, this play is not a good tool for teaching teen suicide REPEAT this play is not good for teaching teen suicide!!!

How dare this main character have main character energy!!! 😡😡😡😡😡 The audacity of this motherfucker!!! (Also re: English teachers: Why must they always have to say their headcanons as if they are canon? The Rosaline fan dumb is so big)

Thanks, OP. Now I can be sure never to go near the thing with a ten-foot pole. How the hell can you make the premise to that freakin’ Rosaline movie better by comparison????

Tag yourself, I’m “perving on her underage cousin”

[lucycola]

the long ass review none of yall wanted but are still getting

Ooooook.... Finally got a moment to read and review in peace. Seriously, it was like the universe did not want me reading this chapter. Always something coming up like "thou shall not read the smut". But God and the universe can pry this chapter out of my cold dead hands.

Op, you said that you weren't crazy about how it came out, and I get it. As a creator is difficult to completely be satisfied with your work sometimes. And imma let you finish, but if THIS is the result of you not being completely satisfied with your work, I fear crave to see what you're gonna make when achieving your final form the ultimate tribble. I had to go and reread the previous chapters before this one (I don't control the hyperfixation, ok? At this point I take everything that gives me serotonin and milk it for all it's worth).

Coming from the high of chapter 5, you would expect things to slow down immediately.... And they kind of do... But at the same time they don't at all. Yes there's no flesh eating monster trying to murder our faces, thank you very much, but what about the pining, the tension between our couple, the will they won't they. It's absolutely enthralling. I had to remember to relax because I was starting to bite my nails. If you think I'm making it all up, sorry, but I truly felt like that. It's just very well written and I got really hooked up, ok? 

The aftermath of the crash and the loss of that many people is very well portrayed. There's gonna be a backlash to the one who survived and the effect of that one person is definitely well described. It doesn't have to be constantly present but something at the back of your mind, gnawing at it. Bones being this huge pillar of support and understanding, that's my jam. Totally here for it.

And then it starts. The back and forth, and the fact that yeah Spock is attentive towards her but it might just be due to the situation but he's still being sweet. I felt that bro, and despite having knowledge of how it might end, it still doesn't take away from the process and the tension of getting to that point. Which, tbh, I consider it a feat all on its own.

Stepping into a new environment and getting to meet new people is never truly described enough in my opinion (that's just my take, don't @ me fanfics writers), but I think you did it very well.

I couldn't hold back a squeal with Missus Spock, and I don't care how idiotic I sound when saying that sentence. I felt Scotty was a bit of an unexpected player. Usually in most of the fics it's Kirk and Bones doing the teasing (not that I dislike it, I live for that older brother energy), but it was quite refreshing seeing Scotty taking the lead and I can see no one better to come up with the title.

And how people would say it too!!

Up your alley definitely got me thinking of that line from BBC Sherlock "not my division". It's a lame joke but if it's stuck in MY head it's also gonna be stuck in YOURS. 

There's a good balance between physical touch and her staying away because, lord, is being married to a touch telepath tricky as hell! (especially when sharing quarters with one)

UGH, the depth of character it’s so GOOD!

Due to being so used by media, amnesia can be turned into a bit cliché but you presented it well and didn’t use it as a crutch (which would have been fine, but I find your take much more interesting).

Trying not to be horny on main for this man is as likely for him not to sit slutty: it just can’t happen. Bitches be projecting so much onto your reader that they’re about to enter the astral plain. It’s me. I’m bitches. THAT’S MY DIVISION!!!

And the rest of you don’t get to judge me, we ALL clicked on this series because we’re thirsting after this guy.

On a more PG note, night terrors and possible PTSD are a good way to show her inner turmoil and THANK GOD you added the mention of treatment and talking to a mental health professional. So many fics go for the we never talk about our mental issues and we act like they are not there. You get my solid respect for that (among many other things).

Ok, I gotta admit that the scene with the lute was so heartwarming. I’m weak against a soft!vulcan boi, ok?

The love confession is so good, I could just melt :’). Sometimes it can be so hard (for me at least) to do it fluently and to not either slow down the tempo of the scene or over saturate it. You knocked it out of the park.

And then comes the smut….

Not to be thirsty but oh my fucking god. jesus fucking christ. holy fu cking shit.

Yeah, lets say that you definitely got me more than hot and bothered during that one. You just went ahead and grabbed like most of the greatest kinks and gave us an absolute masterpiece. Don’t know if you have written smut before, but I gotta tell you…you don’t have to worry at all.

And although I have no evidence of such thing, I got a feeling you used my drunken rambling against me when I said LET SPOCK SAY FUCK and was like ‘fine, let’s give them what they want’. if so, don’t know if to feel embarrassed or flattered

Oh god, he does dirty talk, battle is lost lads. Panties ended in like…Mordor at this point. It’s not something easy to do for his type of character, but you made I work perfectly

I do believe Kirk is never gonna look a Spock the same way after hearing what went down that night. xD

In order to finally round up my thoughts, pacing is well kept, and you manage to establish a good chemistry for our couple, the tension is absolutely sublime and the smut is just *cheff’s kiss*

I loved how the series turned out and you should be really proud of your work. I sure am and hope to keep reading your stuff in the future.

Fucking superb, you funky little tribble

 ALL THE LOVE AND LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!!!  :D

originally submitted by @lumar014

I legit cannot tell you how tickled I was reading this review. Much love, much love.

[themistressofdolls]

The Timeless children thoughts*SPOILERS*

Been a long time since we’ve had one of these hasn’t it? Not since the Moffat era have I done a retrospective on an episode but oh but I have conflicted feelings about the timeless children.

First off I want to say I had a good time with this episode and most of series 12. Unlike stuff like hell bent this episode at least had a lot of meat and gave us some answers rather than blue balling people.

I also don't like the idea of canon being a religious text that is unmoving but I do feel some respect must be given for what came before, you can change things but there are better ways to go about it.

So issues.

1: The time lords got the Stuffed in a fridge trope done to them

I mean Galifrey got done dirty this series and I hate hitting the reset button on it after what we went through during the 50th and the build up to the Doctor saving it and it just gets wiped out off screen by an angry psycho who in the classic series was this twat in the grand scheme of things?

How did the Master even destroy them? Did they fight back? The way he talks about it makes it sound like he hunted them down one by one Jason Voorhees style before carrying the millions of dead time lord bodies back to his larder where keeps all the dead bodies on ice which is super disturbing? Plus the idea of all the time lords even characters we got to know like Braxiatel, Romana, Narvin, The Monk, Rani and many more have had their bodies perverted and then rammed into cyber shells like spam is iffy as hell.

I like dark stuff but I really hope the time lords get a more positive ending, not all of them where the corrupt high council people after all.

2: The Doctor is now the most important person in creation.

This was a moffat era issue I had and I value restoring mystery to the character again but making them the template for all timelords, being a special unique child from another universe, it makes the doctor the most important thing ever and I kind of have issues?

I like the idea they are small but someone who was tired with their people and ran away to see it all and do the right thing where they could. Making the doctor the secret creator of the time lords is like having Luke Skywalker invent the force or Kirk being the founder of Starfleet.

If anything it makes the universe feel smaller and bend around the main character.

3: Is the Doctor just going to move on from the time lords now?

It feels like “Galifrey is gone, fuck it, got a new home and origin now so I'm feeling pretty positive now.”

Does the Doctor not care that her people have been killed, had their corpses desecrated then minced into cybermen bodies? She seemed to move on from it all pretty quickly.

Even if the timeless child thing is the direction and not just a lie the Master or matrix had hacked into it? This was still the doctors adoptive home, this is where she spent most of her life, she had family there, friends, allies, connections. Is she just fine moving on from what happened?

After killing them in the time war the Doctor had years of PTSD, it weighted on them so seeing her people not just lost again but turned into a parody of their former selves by her enemy? She's not even bothered much now?

4: What happened with Rassilon and Omega?

They where just not there? Did they work with Tecteun? Did they have their own projects or where their advances in time travel and more just part of a false creation myth? Did Rassilon encourage Tecteuns regeneration research then steal credit?

What is going on?

5: Other stuff

Am I the only one who hates how passive 13 was in this? She seems to turn into this victim character when the Master is around and that has some weird overtones considering this is the first proper female doctor? Also I love the new Master but he feels OP with some of the stuff he gets away with.

Also what happened with the sisterhood of Karn? Where do they and the flame factor in? How did River get regenerations off the time vortex if the Doctor was the creator of regeneration?

6: What happened with Missy?

Isn't it weird we had this character growth and now the Master is just pure malice, hate, anger and motivated by disgust over the fact he share an origin with the Doctor now? It's weird going from Missy to that and it feels that character growth got thrown under the bus.

Like I said I don't hate this episode and I do dislike the toxicity some fans on both sides have had about series 11 and 12. Like I said it was a fun ride, canon is not a religious object but god I have ze picking of ze nits here.

[langwrites]

Lang Plays Fire Emblem: Three Houses

So a while ago I said I was planning on playing the story routes in this order: Blue Lions, Black Eagles, Church of Seiros, and then Golden Deer.

The Golden Deer made a liar out of me.

So, here’s an approximation of What Happened During Verdant Wind.

So many spoilers below the cut, you guys. I do a lot of route comparisons.

Okay, I’ve been staring at the “which house do you want” selection screen for an embarrassing amount of time.

This shouldn’t be hard. I had a plan.

But no.

I clicked the Golden Deer, just like that. What the fuck, Claude. I blame you.

Immediately upon talking to this rop of students again, I can feel the difference in the social group from what the Lions were like. The latter were really a bunch of noble kids around their prince, and they felt really tight-knit. Classic Fire Emblem starter crew.

The Golden Deer is the fucking Scooby Gang.

First impressions of individuals:

Raphael, thank goodness, is the one character who absolutely has his shit in order. Sure, he’s bad at book work and thinks everything comes down to MUSCLES, but all of his emotional issues are handled by the time he arrives at Garreg Mach. He’s the brightest of sunshines.

Ignatz needs some more confidence in his art, and also I want to see his painting of Seiros. Now, if only both of his offensive stats and growths weren’t incredibly bad.

I was so close to making him my dancer. Just because he sure as hell wasn’t gonna be useful anywhere else.

Lorenz! I don’t like him. His haircut is a monstrosity.

Leonie! We are going. To be. Besties. Even though the timing of your support conversations are incredibly bad.

Marianne no please don’t be sad everyone loves you

Hilda is the greatest enabler I have ever seen. By which I mean she enables other people to do all her work for her.

Lysithea is going to have the last word with God. And especially he Death Knight.

And finally Claude! Teamwork makes the dream work, so obviously meme work does the same.

I’m sorry.

PRE-TIMESKIP

Mock battle! Marianne’s great and I love her and also the only healer oh god.

OKAY. I have access to New Game+ bonuses. What do I do first?

Immediately crank the Professor Level stat to max to avoid ever having to run short of activity points again.

Next, raise all skills I can’t easily get to at least Rank D+. HEAVY ARMOR IN PARTICULAR.

Third: Boost supports with people whose support ranks are an absolute pain in the ass to earn. Lookin’ at you, Rhea.

Also, put glasses on Byleth (named “Yuri” for this playthrough). Glasses are the bomb. I am the evil genius.

LEVEL GRINDING TIME.

It’s a lot harder with Blacksmith access being story-locked, but I can do this!

As a direct result, every single battle after this point is a complete curbstomp in my favor. Because the grind don’t stop.

I broke a lot more weapons than last time, though.

I will befriend Leonie and Ferdinand if it’s the last fucking thing I do. I will befriend everyone, and I will not get timeskip-locked out of supports! >:(

Ferdinand was my first recruit. Oh dear.

Okay, there are like five born cavaliers in this game. Leonie, Ferdinand, Lorenz, Sylvain, and I guess Dimitri if you’re on the right route.

Last time, Sylvain was a great paladin and a decent Dark Knight before he started getting one- or two-stat level ups for like thirty levels. Similarly, Dimitri was great until all his ultra-secret-awesome promotions didn’t use a fucking horse.

Contrast Leonie who, despite sitting out 99% of the game out of spite from me getting locked out of her support chain, went to endgame with a ten-level deficit and still rocked.

Ferdinand didn’t count since I failed to recruit him last time and he died. These two facts are directly related.

I didn’t use Lorenz at all; I recruited him to keep from having to kill him later.

This time, Lorenz straight-up sucks, Sylvain did the terrible level dance for like the entire game, and Dimitri’s not recruitable.

Contrast, again, Leonie. Her support chain with the player character is hot garbage, but she plowed through most of the game as a mainstay of my team and made it to Bow Knight first out of anyone.

Bernadetta and Ashe as Bow Knights don’t even come close to being as durable as she is, except for Ashe’s absolutely bananas Resistance. 29?! WHY?!

And Ferdinand is also awesome. His only real weak point is Resistance, but he doesn’t need it. He dodge-tanks everything, is faster than Leonie, and has two Saints’ relics he unknowingly stole from Seteth.

He still talks in MLA format, though.

I started putting off recruiting people so I wouldn’t have to level-grind them up to par with the rest of my team.

But if these people wanna join, of course I’m saying yes.

Lord Lonato’s rebellion and Miklan yoinking the Lance of Ruin feel way less relevant on a Golden Deer playthrough than on a Blue Lions one. None of the Herd really know who the hell these people are.

I say that despite having already recruited Sylvain for this playthrough and deploying him in the relevant level. He wasn’t treated as there by the game’s preamble cutscenes.

At least the Holy Mausoleum stuff feels more...handled? Claude actually asks questions about rebellion and about the “assassination plot,” where Dimitri didn’t really.

OKAY SO there’s this whole plot thing where Flayn goes missing for a month. With the Blue Lions, this is handled like a manhunt. Dimitri’s seriousness about the issue rubs off on everyone except Sylvain, and Felix actually correctly identifies the culprit almost instantly. He doesn’t know he’s done it, though, because basically everyone is just throwing out accusations. Manuela is the real MVP.

CONTRAST THE DEER. The very first meeting reads like a Scooby Doo episode, when they’re piling up clues and throwing out suggestions like the gang of goofball teenagers they are. Claude’s got this group running like Persona 4′s Investigation Team. None of them are jaded or frantic, they’re just doing this.

Why did Rhea entrust the investigation to a herd of teenagers.

Anyway, the rest proceeds as usual.

I don’t know why the game tries to drop the same set of hints for each route. “OoooowoooooOOOOoooo, your house leader might be the FLAME EMPEROR.”

The Flame Emperor wears heels. And is still too short to be either Claude or Dimitri. Especially Dimitri. Who the fuck let this kid get so tall.

The only real result of all this bullshit is that my wyvern-riding sniper of doom is not available during the first map where Yuri personally beat the Death Knight into the ground.

Which, by the by, was hilariously cathartic.

It doesn’t exactly matter, since the only unit who can make real use of the Dark Mage and Dark Bishop classes is unrecruitable, but bragging rights.

Remire Village’s drama is about as bad while playing as the Golden Deer. One of the foreshadowing cutscenes, though is excellent:

Claude actually finds a book that depicts The Immaculate One before its debut, only to have it confiscated by Seteth and learn that it wasn’t a library book at all; it belonged to “Tomas.” Like, all of his suspicions--which he shares with the player--start lining up. Censorship! Monsters! Sword of the Creator! What the hell is going on here??

Dimitri’s version of the cutscene involves him being caught investigating Lord Arundel by the player and Sothis. Which--since his route doesn’t meaningfully deal with the Morlocks faction aside from steamrolling them as incidental opponents--seems kinda useless.

Kicked the Death Knight into submission again out of spite.

Sylvain was useful! Mostly because I had him sit there and distract the incidentals while Claude and Lysithea cleaned house, but still!

Claude is the only lord character who seems to understand that the transforming Morlock faction probably needs to be taken more seriously. For the remainder of Part One, no one does so.

Rhea you’ve got some ‘splainin to do.

Marianne’s my team’s dancer this time. She’s a sweetheart. She seemed happy to be asked and to pursue the lessons, and being able to use Physic is a good trait in someone who’s nearly always going to be waaaaay behind the rest of the group.

Dad-stabbing happened.

Again.

Boop boop Solon’s dead.

Again.

Dear diary: I learned the definition of irony and set the Flame Emperor on fire.

I kid.

But Claude took her out in one completely overpowered shot, because crits are a thing, Flame Emperor class skills don’t reduce damage enough to survive it, and his Dex stat is through the fucking roof. And he was on a wyvern at the time because fuck it, why not.

Claude’s reaction to all of this is a minor letdown compared to the fully-rendered cutscene in the last route.

This would become something of a trend--taking out OP bosses with unexpected critical hits.

I didn’t expect to like Lorenz and now I do. How.

This is hilarious simply because he seems to be the only character that Mercedes hates. What the fuck, man.

Once again, Edelgard invades! Once again, I drop someone unexpected on her head!

Not really. It was Yuri.

Yuri does the timeskip shuffle and we’ll see everyone again after a nap.

FIVE YEARS LATER.

Aw, Claude was waiting for Yuri to show up. Adorable.

The post-meetup fight is actually harder than it was in the BL route, despite excessive level-grinding. This is due to three factors:

Claude is automatically on a wyvern, meaning that he has inherent class vulnerability to archers on a map with at least five of them. And less range than they did, for some fucking reason.

Lorenz and Ignatz started out on the same corner of the map and both of them are shitty offensive units who could barely kill a mage between them. (Neither of Ignatz’s offensive stats cracked 20 for another thirteen levels.)

I don’t have Ashe and his personal skill Locktouch, and nobody started with a Chest Key or Door Key, which meant I had to keep various enemies alive long enough to steal all of their stuff. And the enemy item drops came up one short of the number of chests on the map. I want my stuff, dammit.

LET’S MAKE A SCENE.

Randolph, as a boss in Verdant Wind, did not get any better at figuring out when he’s outmatched. Therefore, I killed him with Raphael again.

At least he straight-up died this time.

Claude didn’t even get to set the damn place on fire.

Ingrid is turning out to be way better of a unit this time than she was last time. She’s a little slower, but a lot stronger.

FELIX, WHERE THE FUCK WAS ALL THIS STRENGTH HIDING LAST TIME. YOU’RE TEN POINTS AHEAD OF THE GUY WHO HAS STORY-BASED SUPER STRENGTH.

AND SPEED.

Iiiiiiiiit’s JUDITH!

She only shows up on one map in the entire Azure Moon route, and that’s a damn shame. She’s so cool in Verdant Wind.

A lord-class character who isn’t also a Lord! WOO!

Also her spies are better than anybody’s apparently.

I am choosing to believe that because Ingrid’s family is related to Judith’s, her badassery in this route is the direct result of meeting her distant cousin and absorbing badass radiation.

There’s something funny about having to pull one over on Lorenz’s dad to get anything done. The Great Bridge falls not to power, but Claude baiting Count Gloucester’s entire army to be somewhere else. (FEAR THE DEER.)

As a result, Ladislava dies alone. (As opposed to taking Ferdinand with her due to plot shenanigans.)

Lysithea and Ferdinand’s paralogue was really quite sad, for all that the only named guy who died was deeply unsympathetic. Ferdinand’s dad was an asshole, but he wasn’t the asshole for this particular scenario, and now both of his parents are gone. :(

Felix...hasn’t heard from his dad in a while. Worrying.

Oh, and Caspar’s uncle is still dead, in case we were keeping track of that.

Dorothea’s happier with Ferdinand alive. She did an impression of the Gatekeeper. :3

Gronder Field! FUCK.

I delayed playing this chapter for two solid days because I already knew what was gonna happen. Specifically: Edelgard gets injured and evacuated, and Dimitri drops of exhaustion just in time to get run through like ten times by the Emperor’s rearguard.

I eventually got my shit together enough to do the thing.

Marianne, Raphael, and Ferdinand went after the Kingdom army first. Leonie and Felix hung back and then reinforced them after taking out the archer on the central hill.

Claude killed everyone in the center of the map, which meant Edelgard set the entire hill on fire and if Bernadetta had not been recruited she would’ve burned to death there on the spot.

Ahem.

I sent Yuri to clear the entire left side of the map by herself.

She succeeded.

Raphael KO’d Dimitri with a luck Gauntlet crit, got blasted down to half health by a Warlock, then plunked ineffectually at Dedue until Marianne used her Levin Sword to sort him out.

Ferdinand killed everyone else on that side of the map.

Claude once again got the kill on Edelgard with a lucky crit, after Yuri had killed everyone else (up to and including the Demonic Beasts) single-handedly.

And then the plot moved on. Hilda’s account of Dimitri’s death was awful, Dedue’s reaction was worse, and off we go to punch Edelgard’s teeth in.

Again.

Annette’s dad is probably dead now.

Felix’s, too.

(I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THE DAD-STABBING.)

FOOOOOORT MERCEUS.

No matter how many times I think about it, Claude’s Almyran army reinforcements only make so much sense. How the hell and fuck did he manage to sneak an entire foreign army across a whole country to help with one battle?

But hey, they’re here, and Claude almost admitted the reason why he could do that. And the arrow greeting between him and Nader was cool.

(Spoiler: On top of being the Alliance’s leader, he’s also the crown prince of Almyra!)

The Death Knight had the gall to run from my army.

Yuri punched his ticket for the third time, which was not the charm.

And then Fort Merceus took an intercontinental ballistic missile and suddenly defeating the fort’s garrison feels a lot less triumphant.

Spot the miscolored eyes in this cutscene!

Welp. Fuck it, we’re off to Enbarr. Time to also punch Hubert this time! What a change of pace.

Eyyy, it’s the Enbarr map. I totally forgot to bring Seteth and Flayn along to check out the opera house, despite a whole bunch of characters talking about how they totally wanted to check that place out at some point. No room for deadweights in a map that has SO MANY ARCHERS.

Managed to get the special dialogue between Ferdinand and Hubert, and now I’m sad again.

Killed Hubert with Claude.

And because this is a two-part map, we immediately run off to chase down Edelgard. Due to the player army not doing a really weird 180 in the middle of the plot to kick Cornelia out of Fhirdiad, she didn’t have time to turn into a giant demonic thing! She just has WAY TOO MANY MAGES.

Strategy: Forget what Door Keys are, split the team by Avoid rating, and go to town.

Claude nearly died thanks to a critical mass of Gremories and Mortal Savants (and still, what the fuck is that name), but Dedue-as-guest-character didn’t, so I count that as a win! His defense was so high that the Giant Demonic Beast couldn’t even scratch him.

Claude, Petra, and Ingrid all having Alert Stance as a skill means dodge-tanking is hilariously easy.

Also, Ingrid was supposed to just take a chunk out of Edelgard’s HP bar for the final assault and ended up crit-killing her on the first attack. With a bog-standard silver lance.

Weird as the situation turned out, I guess that means one of Dimitri’s friends really did avenge him after saying they would. Even if Dedue was the only one who had a special cutscene about it.

We rescued Rhea! And the characters being happy about it doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I want answers, same as Claude, and being forced to RP Yuri being oh so worried about Rhea’s safety felt incredibly disingenuous.

Claude actually yells at her over the “...” she seems to think is an explanation. THE TIME FOR SECRETS IS PAST.

WHY DID ALL THIS SHIT HAPPEN.

WE’VE BEEN AT WAR FOR FIVE YEARS.

A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE DIED HORRIBLY FOR BASICALLY NOTHING.

Incidentally, this is why I didn’t end up playing Edelgard’s route as planned. Her logic for kicking two other sovereign countries in the balls felt incredibly self-centered.

At least Catherine’s happy. Same with Alois and the rest of the Church crew.

They are soon going to be not as happy.

I’m filling out the ENTIRE support log before endgame. I have absolutely no idea what characters are going to end up together as a direct result.

The last conversation? Seteth and Manuela’s A+ support!

Because so many of the support conversations are romantic at A/A+ level, I guess we’ve managed to turn this ragtag army into a polyarmory.

Oh boy, Thales sure is a sore loser.

I say, as though I didn’t kill EVERYONE he knew over the course of an hour and also split his skull open under Seteth’s axe. His racism would have keeled his ass over before death set in.

That sure is a ICBM.

GOD DAMMIT RHEA, THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A Q&A SESSION AFTER THIS.

WHY DOES EVERYONE WHOSE JOB IS EXPOSITION UP AND DIE.

Meanwhile: THE UBER-DEAD PEOPLE.

Claude, your route is batshit. What is this genre anymore?!

I wanna point out that, despite seeing Rhea/Seiros do the dragon thing, the player character never told Claude what the fuck that was about. I feel like one of the first things I would have done after the class reunion would be going, “By the by, did anyone else notice the fucking dragon?!”  WHO IS ALSO THE POPE???

Bah.

ANYWAY. Looooong-overdue exposition time!

I notice that Rhea didn’t out Seteth or Flayn, which was nice of her.

Claude, she can turn into a fucking dragon. I don’t think immortality is that far from being plausible.

GOD DAMMIT NEMESIS, CAN YOU FUCK OFF FOR TEN MORE MINUTES.

Uuuuuuugh fine, fuck everything, I’m putting your head on a pike.

CLAUDE, THE SWORD OF THE CREATOR LOOKS LIKE A SPINE.

OF COURSE IT’S MADE OF BONES. A BUNCH OF THE HEROES’ RELICS MOVE ON THEIR OWN!

The frantic music is not helping.

Time to kill a bandit king.

“My flabber is completely gasted by now.” Okay, that made me laugh.

Nemesis’s boss mechanic is pretty neat. To kill him at all, you need to kill all of the minibosses in the level and take down his friendship-based-plot-armor.

Or it would be, if I didn’t already make a habit of steamrolling everyone else on the field before tackling the boss at the end.

CUTSCENE.

Cutscene lesson: “Fuck honor duels.” It’s time for CHAIN SWORD LIMBO.

Claude, your bow shoots LASERS. SINCE WHEN.

Also getting kicked across the field by a dude twice his size didn’t seem to actually affect his mood much.

Awww, Yuri smiles now. Adorable. :D

AND THAT’S A WRAP.

Pairings: Yuri/Sothis (mostly to get them out of the way and see what everyone else would do), Claude/Petra, Raphael/Marianne, Catherine/Shamir, Lorenz/Mercedes, Ashe/Annette, Felix/Sylvain (bad end; the former straight up disappears), Seteth & Flayn wander off, Manuela/Dorothea, Lysithea/Linhardt (again), Leonie/Ignatz, Ferdinand/Bernadetta, Caspar/Hilda, and a couple of people are alone. Cyril gets to actually be a student after the story’s done, though!

Whew, that was fun. Gonna mix up the pairs a bit next time I play through the endgame and see what happens.

[nomadicism]

Be careful about having high expectations for Gen Lock. The series is created by Rooster Teeth Productions, who tend be to hit and miss. They created great series like Camp Camp, but they also created RWBY, which has a rep for having terrible writing in the later seasons. Characters are unlikable or Mary Sues; the plot is poorly structured and it made a lot of questionable choices. At this point, it could be either or. Only time will tell if it's the next Camp Camp or RWBY.

and

“I would be careful about having high expectations for Gen Lock if I were you. Gen Lock is created by Roaster Teeth Productions, who are also the creators of RWBY. That series went down hill after the 3rd season. Granted some of it had to do with the creator dying, but the writing dipped in quality. After watching the first and second ep, it reminds me a lot of VLD, including the humour. Reviewers said it didn’t dive into character motivation or any of the world building by the 5 ep point.”

Hi Anon, thank you for the Asks!

Given the wording of both of these, I assume they are both from you.

I’m going to try to reign in my salt here, but you happened to hit more than a few buttons with your Ask. Gonna keep this as brief as I can to focus on the core of my answer. I promise I’m not grumpy.

The opening sentence in both of these Asks does not come across well. I can give the benefit of the doubt b/c this is the Internet, but uh…yeah.

RWBY continues to enjoy great popularity and comes up frequently on my dash. I’ve never seen it, it’s definitely not my thing, but it’s still selling to someone, and my VLD mutuals that love it are still talking it up so I’m glad that they have another show to entertain them. I see merch everywhere, it’s got a Japanese dub and a manga adaptation and that’s pretty damn good for a web cartoon that came out of the U.S. Must not be that terrible as whole to merit all of that.

“Mary Sue” is a phrase that means absolutely nothing because everyone overuses it to mean any number of things about competent and powerful female characters, and most of them are incredibly subjective, and rarely ever applied to male characters who meet the same kinds of subjective goal-post shifting criteria.

Perhaps gen:LOCK will simply be the “first gen:LOCK” and not the “next anything.”

I didn’t find the humor in gen:LOCK to be like VLD at all.

Reviewers can eat my asshole.

And on that note:

Not every story benefits from a deep dive, or even a superficial exploration of character motivation or world-building.

Such things are very genre and plot dependent, and the perception of such is subjective.

Some of the greatest short stories, or even long-form novels don’t even bother with much of either if they are not necessary to advance the plot. Not everything needs to be Lord of the Rings or Ulysses.

Who had better “character motivation”, Frodo Baggins from the LotR trilogy or Ripely from Alien? What would “better” even mean for either of those genres? LotR and Alien are worlds apart, and yet, at the end of the day, the protagonists are fighting for survival against an unspeakable horror. The “journey” of their survival differs greatly, and those journeys are the point, the character motivations are really minimal and don’t require a lot of exploration.

Frodo’s character motivation can be summed up as: “save the fucking Shire by destroying a cursed evil ring” and a little bit of “Uncle Bilbo ruined me for the simple Hobbit life with his crazy stories.” While Ripley’s motivation is: “kill the xenomorphs before they kill me and my cat.” That’s it. Don’t even need in-character exposition or a flashback to describe Ripley’s. The genre hands it to you on a blood-soaked silver platter.

I don’t know what those reviewers were watching but the “character motivation” of the main characters that I saw in the pilot episode alone was pretty fucking obvious: HOLD THE LINE in a dystopian world were “freedom” hangs by a thread. They are trying to survive. That’s all it needs to be.

I don’t care why they joined the Vanguard. I have plenty of friends and family within various armed forces and their motivations range from complex to simple, but most of them are a variation on “I want to serve my country and my people.” That’s it, and that’s okay.

Additionally, Julian Chase’s backstory and motivation was made clear in the first 10 minutes through the positioning of him before the wall with his dead father’s memorial flag, and the conversation between the three most important people in his life: mother, sister, and fellow comrade-soldier/girlfriend (Miranda, great symbolism by the way in that name).

That pilot episode is Julian’s “super hero/science fiction origin story”. His Big Damn Hero moment is fueled by his “character motivation” to protect his loved ones, and inspired by the verses from his dead hero father’s favorite song: “Let the Good Times Roll.”

Any hyper-critical reviewer that missed that is full of shit.

And those verses?

“You only live once / But when you’re dead you’re gone / So let the good times roll”

That was clever and poignant foreshadowing, b/c GENRE. It also wasn’t super deep…and it didn’t have to be. It only needed to connect the threads of Julian’s introduction, who he is, something special that he shares with his mother, father, and girlfriend, and what his role will be in the show, and the nature of his being from here on out.

At the bare minimum, someone in the writers’ room is aware (even if only in passing) of the some of the most enduring questions that science-fiction (especially cyberpunk) has asked and navel-gazed over regarding the role of technology in extending human life, and what exactly defines “life” when one has left the meat-space. I’m not expecting gen:LOCK to be an exploration into the ethics and details of transhumanism/post-humanism/singularity philosophies and futurist dreams for humanity. It doesn’t have to be. They’ve already touched on the concepts and anyone who loves that sort of thing will notice.

My expectations for gen:LOCK are that—at worst—it will be as entertaining and to-the-point as the GI Joe cartoon in the 80s. I enjoyed GI Joe (pro-military propaganda aside), it was a regular thing for me to make the effort to watch. I didn’t love it like I did The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers, or Robotech, or Voltron DotU, or Silverhawks, or Jem and the Holograms, but it was still fun and entertaining and it still is.

GI Joe didn’t waste time with a full exploration of Cobra Commander’s backstory or his motivations, nor did it do so with most of the Joes. The basics were all that was needed. GI Joe wasn’t about complexity and it didn’t need to be in order to tell an entertaining story while selling toys. Yes, sometimes you’d get some really interesting episodes that added dimension in between the more obvious filler. Shit, it took like 50+ episodes to get to a Destro-focused episode. I certainly wasn’t watching GI Joe for character motivations and world-building. I was watching because nearly every character had an interesting design and they all did unique things, and Cobra Commander was hilarious. I watched to see what they would come up with next.

Did I really need a compelling story behind Zartan, Zandar, and Zarana? Nope. They were fun villains that gave the heroes hell and spoke with shitty Australian accents. In the 80s, the Aussie accent was all the rage for edgy characters (oh Stingray…).

Do people remember anything about Scarlett other than she was the hot redhead?

I loved Scarlett, she was my She-Ra, and one of the main reasons why I watched GI Joe. But only the most hardcore GI Joe fans remember her stats and abilities. She was actually one of the most highly qualified and skilled Joes. From Scarlett’s Wikipedia article:

“Her primary specialty for the team is counter intelligence. Scarlett is additionally skilled in martial arts and acrobatics. She started training at age 9 with her father and three brothers, who were all instructors, and she earned her first black belt at age 15. Scarlett also graduated summa cum laude, and passed her Bar Exams to practice law, before moving into the military. She graduated from Advanced Infantry Training and Ranger School, and received special education in Covert Ops School, Marine Sniper School, Special Air Service School, and Marine Tae Kwon Do Symposium. Although she is as adept with standard weapons as any of her comrades, her weapon of choice is the XK-1 power crossbow, which fires various bolts with specialized functions. Scarlett is also a qualified expert with the M-14, M-16, M1911A1 Auto Pistol, M79 grenade launcher, M-3A1, M-700 Remington sniper rifle, MAC-10, throwing stars, garotte and KA-BAR (Combat Knife)”

Wow. Beautiful and striking appearance. High intelligence. Great martial prowess. Top shelf military training.What a goddamned Mary Sue.

So, if you’re still with me Anon, my point is that if gen:LOCK can be a “good enough” futuristic-cyberpunk-ish version of GI Joe that gives me fun and interesting-but-not-complex characters in command of infantry mechs, configurable jets, and a color coordinated team of save-the-day-big-damn-hero-style mecha who fight against a sinister force that has weaponized nanotech and colossal mechas that look like War of the Worlds meets Eldritch Horrors then I’ll be pretty fucking happy with it. The bar ain’t exactly high here.

[kxlance]

here are my thoughts on the bullshit under the cut cuz it's gonna get long probs i assure you it’s a reassuring post:

ok so the interview itself wasn't bad to me honestly. jeremy did not deny the bi!lance hint, which was the most important thing to know. the fact that he said "that much i can say" implies that there's something left to know that he can't say because nda.

i'm gonna list a positive thing and a negative thing here: the negative one is that on one hand, it pisses me off that lgbt characters are treated as such a big spoilery deal when it should just....feel so natural to have them in a show. also thinking back that dreamworks tagged certain videos as klance just for views...well it's kind of a coward move if they don't at least end the show with lgbt rep. on the other, i really don't see the point with going all "no comment" about it if it weren't to happen?? that would be very assholey, and i know that the writers are not to be trusted, but the mere fact that they lie so much over things than then ended up being canon (e.g: galra keith, paladin allura, pidge being a girl etc) can't help but make me think they are pretty much hiding the endgame couple on purpose. you could argue they could be hinting at allurance which i'm not excluding bc some of the things could be honestly interpreted that way and also they never mention them ever as a couple except i remember like kimberly saying that allura isn't interested in lance (but she could be lying obviously) and jeremy here stating that lance has still a crush on her which is pretty evident and there's nothing new. (we also learned, according to him, that lance basically can dish it out but he can't take it which frankly...i can see pretty well as canon)

on that spectrum, pls note that this happening (or lance ending up with a girl for the matter) doesn't absolutely excludes bi!lance like at all. he can still be confirmed as bi and end up with a girl and that itself would still be very important! one thing doesn't exclude the other honestly so i say very confidently that lance being bi will be confirmed. like 100% convinced that it will. (do not forget lauren's drawing where lance is holding the lgbt sign, there's a specific reason he's the one holding that)

also does anybody think that....this stress over lance liking ladies and stuff is kinda....suspicious?? like jeremy himself was used to say "lol he flirts with anybody on two legs ahha" and now today all of a sudden he's putting a lot of stress on the ""woman"" part. which kind of threw me off? i might be reaching obviously, but mmm you know? and all of this comes after joaquim said "what he's looking for is getting to a place that might be different than when he started in the series" and “what he wants might not be what he needs” and if math isn't an opinion, he started the series always wanting allura so if what he wants is now changing..........................

it is also true that lauren used female pronouns in that interview and while that could be an indicator that lance will end up with a girl, it's also not set in stone bc.... they used to hide pidge's pronouns the same way and if lauren had said "him" you know that keith would have suddenly come to mind bc??? he's legit the only person lance has been paired up so much with. they've been sort of a duo ever since the beginning. and they've had most of the couple tropes out of all the possible pairings??? in the show??? allow me to list some. I'm too lazy to back this up with pics but like you know the scenes i'm talking about (and i also say this because when i ship something i ALWAYS look at canon interactions. and they have a lot):

the bonding moment (or the we are a good team scene if you will), which is not only visually very romantic (the purple lightning aka their two primary colors mixed together) but its sort of the turning point of their relationship and it's something that's very much used with couples especially with couples with their dynamic because oh lord!!!!!! do you know how many heterosexual couples exist with a dynamic like theirs? broody boy meets friendly girl and they're total opposites but ops they fall in love?? bitch literally every goddamn YA novel is like this. anyways, you know that scene would be considered romantic if it was between a boy and a girl, and indeed, allurance sort of paralleled that scene in s4 so if you consider that as romantic but not this one....well....buddy,,,,,,,they're basically in the same lions keith and lance were aka the fire and ice dynamic and if you can see that as romantic with a/l you should be able to see it the same way with....k/l but i digress).

as i was saying, the bonding moment is the turning point of keith and lance's relationship. after that we get:

1) an episode where keith is super anxious to have lance out of a pod and gets jealous when he sees lance flirting with allura, reminds him of their "bonding moment" and gets offended that lance doesnt remember (and an entire discussion could be open as to why he was so offended and the vlog kinda sets that up), overall the flirty banter that we're used to (not to mention this is the famous infamous bi flag planet)

2) a solo mission where they're shown to be working extremely well with each other (like classic battle couple duo scenes)

onto other tropes:

the subtle jealousy that can be interpreted both ways

THE ELEVATOR SCENE which is such a common trope for main couples!! they usually get stuck and have a moment of clarification or something like that. keith and lance's was a lot more comedic but it did lead them to collaborate in battle 2 seconds after so.... it did have an impact like those scenes usually do. (also that scene wasn’t necessary for the plot at all and yet...)

Lance making that fond face while talking about Keith that, may I remember you, was animated purposely to be that way. and overall there's a lot of subtle things like lance being constantly worried over keith in season 2 even though they didn't have much dynamic development??

the hey man scene? the fact that everybody was looking at lance EXPECTING HIM TO DO SOMETHING. and he could have easily looked back at them like "why me???" BUT NOPE, he was ready to go to comfort him!!!!!!!!

i get so worked up over the fact that so many of their scenes can be paralleled with other scenes as the story goes bc LETS BE FUCKING REAL FOR A GODDAM SECOND: they're the only pairing who started a way and are ending up in another. because they've had the most coherent development as a pairing in the seasons and we're fucking halfway through the show and when you also remember that it's pretty clear that lance wants to falls in love and that it's a ""slow burn""" kind of deal,,,,how in the fuck,,,,can it be other than klance??? literally nO OTHER PAIRING had a development since the goddamn start i’m not even saying this with my biased ass i’m saying this objectively speaking!!!!

all of season 3 could be a huge romantic trope honestly but like 2 scenes in particular strike as very romantic:

the leave the math to pidge scene obviously (the way it is framed is very tropey lmfao) and the way we see keith through lance's eyes.......pretty gay if you ask me

and the i got you buddy scene which someone made notice that AN EXACT SAME SCENE happens in the wonder woman movie but with a boy/girl pairing ofc. BUT IT'S THE SAME FUCKING SCENE THAT'S LIKE ROMANTIC TROPE 101 I AINT PLAYING

add on the fact that keith might have left team voltron to make sure lance had a place and boom. pretty romantic to me.

even if jeremy sees them as brothers....which is like...super fucking odd to me bc....he never mentioned this before almost like he's backtracking lololol, his opinion isn't...you know...canon. (and like lbr they never acted like brothers in the show??? and the creators never addressed them as such unlike...you know what) i like jeremy jokes and meme as much as the next guy but i'm a realist and i know that he doesn't really ship klance or anything he just knows how to spoiler the good stuff lolz but also he didn't say anything wrong like it's just how he sees it but the creators never said so (lauren montgomery called lance keith's stability don't forget that) and overall there are wayyyy too many hints to not believe that's its gonna be canon. like......it even makes sense with the overall story better than any other pairing?? because it's pretty plausible that lance had a crush on keith at the garrison that tried to mask with the rivalry. the way he acts and the way he tries to always get his attention furtherly proves that. it's a common thing to do when you have a crush lmao.

LIKE THOSE TWO ARE ALWAYS PAIRED UP EVEN IN THE FUCKING SEASON 2 POSTER?? LIKE THEY COULD HAVE GONE WITH KEITH IN THE MARMORA OUTFIT SINCE IT WAS A BIG PART OF THE SEASON BUT NO??? THEY PUT HIM IN THE SWIM TRUNKS WITH LANCE FOR THOSE 2 MINUTES OF SCENE THEY HAD TOGETHER?????

ok that's it keep on hoping and remember that klance not happening doesn't mean that also bi lance won't because those two things aren’t mutually exclusive ok? but also don't lose hope on klance itself especially if it's something that makes you happy because fandom is meant to be a distraction and klance is an healthy lgbt ship that deserves all the attention it gets and it’s groundbreaking from so many aspects and it being canon would be amazing. bye

ALSO PLEASE STOP COMMENTING SHIT ON JEREMY’S PERSONAL PICS ON INSTAGRAM HE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG THIS IS EMBARASSING

bonus

[lofi-muses]

Thor Ragnarok - a sort-of review.

Obviously, spoilers here!!! Don’t read until you watched the movie yourself or you don’t mind having most of the movie revealed.

First of all, I’d like to mention that I got opportunity to watch this movie in 4D. I won’t refer if the technology itself was good or bad (bc it depends on the cinema, not the movie itself), but it allowed me to engage more into this story than 2D or even 3D.

Things I actually enjoyed:

1. HELA. Oh, good Lord, Hela was the most badass female character I’ve seen. We don’t see enough of female villains which is a shame. Cate Blanchett owned it.  Hela was so powerful. Threatening. Beatuiful. Terrifying. Her seidr skills were absolutely amazing (even if a little op? *cough* mjollnir *cough*). I disagree with her backstory, but 10/10 would kneel to the Goddess of Death.

2. Thor and Loki being heroes. Together. Kind of fighting side by side and kinda not? It was a strange dynamic but overall it fitted them. They didn’t get along, there was a lot of bad blood between them but it felt like a beginning of something new.

3. Heimdall! My golden-eyed bae. He was a quiet hero, saving lives of hundereds, never for glory but simply because he knew it was right thing to do. Two previous movies didn’t care much for him, but I’m glad he got his chance to shine. 

4. The Grandmaster. I think Jeff Goldblum really loved this character and had a lot of fun during the making of the movie. He was so comfortable playing this gold-clad, face-painted weirdo. He was able to make the character not just comedic, but also threatening. Silly as the Grandmaster seemed, he was not a guy you wanted to mess with.

5. Friendship between Hulk and Valkyrie. Yes, wow, there was something I actually liked as far as Hulk is concerned even though I always hated this character.

6. Valkyrie. Ex-valkyrie with terrible past and drinking addiction. I think she was refreshing in a sense that she was completely not what I expected she would be. Valkyrie is incredibly skilled warrior and she’s remarkably smart. The creators didn’t try to cover up she’s been through some terrible events in her life. They didn’t try to cover up her drinking habit, either. It’s not often to see addiction and ptsd/depression showed so boldly, especially in female character. 

7. Loki’s powers. I had a sort-of personal headcanon where my muse learned to manipulate other’s minds without the mind stone. I was right! Loki was even powerful enough to contain Odin’s powers. He was enough to revive Surtr! And not the weakened Surtr from the beginning of the movie - he was a full-fledged GOD you would imagine, as huge as Asgard’s palace itself and powerful enough to destroy it completely.

8. Stan Lee’s cameo. LOVED IT.

Things I didn’t enjoy:

1. I still think the Hulk/Bruce was wholly unnecessary for the movie’s plot and the Sakaarian’s glorification of Hulk was annoying. Yes, Marvel, I remember your unloved green baby, but I still don’t like him so stop pushing me to. Not to mention Hulk is super op. HE IS STILL ONLY A HUMAN, GAMMA RADIATION OR NOT. HE SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DEFEAT LOKI OR THOR.

2. Loki being afraid of Hulk. Like, the honest fuck??? LOKI IS A SEIDRMADR. LOKI IS A WARRIOR. HE’S BEEN AROUND FOR A THOUSAND YEARS BEFORE HULK. EVEN IF HE WAS DEFEATED, I THINK LOKI WOULD AVENGE THIS SLIGHT.

3. The scene. The fucking cringy, dumb scene with theatre play of Loki and Thor. I just facepalmed throughout the entriety of it. It was unbearable to watch. I know it was supposed to be funny, but it was just cringy and stupid. No one even laughed at it. While I admit Loki WOULD make a big-ass golden statue of himself, this was just too much. If he wanted to make Asgardians remember him as a hero, he would be much smarter about it.

4. The whole “Loki is just dumb and stupid and he can’t do anything correctly” shebang. Staaahp... Loki is more than god of tricks. He’s god of lies, deception. THE Silvertongue. THE smartest guy among Asgardians, according to the myths.

5. Thor humiliating Loki. Multiple times.

6. Thor bashing Hulk for no fucking reason.

7. Thor being smartass, sassy fuck who thinks he knows everything better and who will always win just because he’s Thor Odinson, duh.

8. Thor acting like a two-faced bitch between Hulk and Bruce, making each believe he likes them more than the other.

9. Thor manipulating his friend into helping him, knowing that Bruce might not come back after he becomes Hulk again.

10. It seems like mature Thor we got in TDW went off to take a holiday break when this asshole Thor replaced him and is having the time of his life.

11. WHY DID YOU KILL OFF THE WARRIORS THREE? WHY DID THEY DIE LIKE THEY WERE NOTHING? WHY THOR NEVER ASKED ABOUT HIS BEST FRIENDS?

12. WHERE. IS. SIF?!

13. The whole Stephen Strange scene was unnecessary. Like... what the fuck. It felt so out of the blue and confusing.

14. What was that will ALL. THAT. SWEARING. Idk if it was just polish version of the movie, but there was just so much swearing? To the point I felt uncomfortable even though I like to throw some juicy cuss words? There were parents with kids watching the movie and I heard how displeased they were.

Things I’m not sure about:

1. Odin being a good papa to Loki. Odin put him in jail before and disowned him. Then, Loki took over and did even more damage and Odin’s acting like it never happened. Part of me strongly believes Loki deserved a lot of bashing from Odin. Other part of me is happy that this jackass got his final proof that he IS loved, despite everything he did. That he has family he’s part of.

 2. The ending suggested a possibility of Loki becoming a (chaotic) good character. I am happy that my lovely emo godling can get a happy ending for himself after all, but at the same time I’m not sure what the future movies will do with the opening TR gave. They could either screw up plot or Loki’s characterization. It’s going to be a challenging thing to write.

Overall:

As a movie, it was fun. It had action, it had humor, it had unique aesthetic. However, there were many things that need fixing. Thor’s characterization, for example. I thought he would grow, but we got this... I don’t know. The whole movie felt like a crossover fanfiction. A good fanfiction, but NOWHERE NEAR canon previous movies had set, not to mention the comics OR the myth. Oh, yeah... Except Ragnarok in the title and characters like Hela, Fenrir and Surtr appearing in it, it had absolutely nothing to do with Norse myth. Nothing. Hela’s origin will never stop bothering me the same as the fact that MCU’s Ragnarok was supposed to affect only Asgardians, not the whole Yggdrassil. Taika Waititi should’ve spent as much time including Norse culture as he did with Australian one.

[ao3feed-thehobbit]

And the Red Dragon Came

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3gYzZN3

by xPenguinLordx

In the oncoming threat of a calamity, the Greater Magic will respond. No matter where, even if the calamity is far from its influence, it will respond. Gandalf knows this. Elrond knows this. Galadriel, Thranduil, and Saruman know this.

But those who know the legend expected something more. Something that wasn’t a redheaded spearman who seemed to be just a Man.

Aka: Li has one goal and that’s to fight a dragon. He did not count on having to protect a bunch of Dwarves in the process.

(xposted on FFN and Wattpad)

Words: 2693, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Middle-Fates (aka I need some major restraint)

Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, Fate/Grand Order, Fate/EXTRA, Fate/Extra Last Encore (Anime), Fate/type Redline, Fate/stay night - All Media Types

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Characters: Li Shuwen | Lancer, Li Shuwen | Assassin, Elrond Peredhel, Gandalf | Mithrandir, Thranduil (Tolkien), Thorin Oakenshield, Thorin's Company, Dori (Tolkien), Ori (Tolkien), Nori (Tolkien), Bifur (Tolkien), Bofur (Tolkien), Bombur (Tolkien), Dwalin (Tolkien), Balin (Tolkien), Kíli (Tolkien), Fíli (Tolkien), Glóin (Tolkien), Óin (Tolkien), Bilbo Baggins, Galadriel | Artanis, Glorfindel (Tolkien), Elladan (Tolkien), Elrohir (Tolkien), Arwen Undomiel (mentioned), Aragorn | Estel (mentioned), Legolas Greenleaf, Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Galion (Tolkien), Erestor (mentioned), Rivendell Elves, Mirkwood Elves, Elros the Guard (Hobbit Movies), Feren (Hobbit Movies), Bard the Bowman, Beorn (Tolkien), Bard the Bowman's Children, Dáin Ironfoot, Azog (Tolkien), Celeborn (Tolkien), Original Elf Character(s), (cause there arent enough named), Bolg (Tolkien), Eagles of Manwë, Servants (mentioned), Smaug (Tolkien), Radagast | Aiwendil, Tom the Troll, Bert the Troll, William the Troll, Men of Dale and Laketown, Dwarves of the Iron Hills, theres just a lot of elves

Relationships: Elrond Peredhel & Li Shuwen | Lancer, Li Shuwen | Lancer & Thranduil, Li Shuwen | Lancer & Thorin's Company, Li Shuwen | Lancer & Beorn, Li Shuwen | Lancer & Gandalf | Mithrandir

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mentions of other Servants - Freeform, Mentions of the Holy Grail Wars, Mentions of the Grand Order, unspoken attraction, BAMF Li Shuwen | Lancer, BAMF Li Shuwen | Assassin, Mostly Movie-Verse, Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, sorta - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Blind Thranduil, but like half blind, Scars, Nasuverse shinanagans, Mentions of Myth & Folklore, Minor Fate/Type Redline Spoilers, Minor Cosmos in the Lostbelt Spoilers, Minor Fate Spoilers, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Gore, TBF Li Shuwen is the main character, his entire "one hit kill" thing is like. a big ol flag for that, i sorta threw some things out the window because fate is unnecessarily complicated, like oh my god its really confusing, OP Li Shuwen, Li Shuwen | Lancer is a dork, Li Shuwen is a reckless lil shit but we love that here, Protective Elrond, Poor Elrond, BAMF Elrond, Elrond really is just exasperated, Soft Elrond, Thranduil Not Being An Asshole, not entirely at least, hes still a hardass, BAMF Thranduil, Thorin hates all sorts of things, Li Shuwen lowkey adopts the Company, Gandalf Meddles, Awesome Balin (Tolkien), hes trying his best!, Over Powered Character, noncanonical deaths, Angst, Li Shuwen has the entire Company's Brain Cells, but has none himself, Multiple Personalities, (Cause Li's got two selves), good lord my tags are all over the place, Heroic Spirit bullshit, Li Shuwen | Lancer does what he wants, Li might've adopted Thranduil as well but like whatever, Canon Rewrite, Not Beta Read, Playful Elves, theyre really all just cats when you think about it, bard is a very confused man, Dáin Ironfoot Appreciation Society, because hes trying his best, Bilbo worries a bit, cause li's stupid, Beorn is really just Beowulf if you think about it, Beorn being awesome, Elrond Tries, hes doing his best but his friends are either dumb or stubborn, Good Parent Thranduil, Legolas Greenleaf & Tauriel Friendship, BAMF Legolas Greenleaf, BAMF Dwarves, we love that, Bard is doing his best, Awesome Galadriel, Azog just fucking dies, Orcs being dicks, Beorn helps out!, Beorn and Li Shuwen are bros, Everyone gets injured at some point, it's a good thing Elrond's there to fix things, Smaug dies so thats fun, Beorn's doing his best, Everyone Tries Their Best

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3gYzZN3

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

Little Miss (Drama) Queen

---

The cut call for the scene had been two minutes ago, and yet the trio remained in their seats as the crew began dismantling the wires and cord around them. Her coffee tasted like shit - cold after all the time they had been shooting, but even before that the milk was not treated correctly and the beans had been against the heat too long. And it doesn’t have the chocolate kiss to melt through, Shada thought with a sigh. Her brother’s favorite place really did make the best coffee.

“Well that was a load of crap,” The dark haired girl beside her said, sipping from her own drink and pulling a face Shada completely agreed with. “This is the worst script ever, right Bells?”

“So so true.” The girl at the other end of the table, her own hair filled with lighter blonde highlights since the producers thought too many brunettes would confuse the viewers. Bela Talbot - though Belle Swift for the show - simply clicked her fingers off to the side waiting for her PA to show up. “Why do we have to say that drivel and they can’t even give us good food and drinks? I’m fairly certain I pulled the most hideous face over that poppy seed muffin that’s completely ‘out of character’.”

All three girls laughed at the air quotes from Bela, and quickly placed orders with her assistant for some nicer lattes from the Starbucks down the street. Shada knew that it wouldn’t have the kisses still, but was better than the swill before her.

“Oh come on, it can’t be as ‘out of character’ as Ruby eye fucking that waiter the whole time. Didn’t they say you were getting engaged or something?”

“I was, but the fan reaction to that asshole was thankfully completely negative.” Ruby grinned back, rolling her eyes. The introduction of the Englishman into the cast last season as a rich Lord something-or-other from Yorkshire had shaken up the close knit friendship between the actors. Ruby - known as Ruby Cortez to appeal to the hispanic viewers, though Shada found it hilariously Hollywood to try to pass off a slightly tanned Italian girl as Spanish - had been the unfortunate one given the plot line with him. The fact the actor was definitely more interested in the males on set didn’t deter the writers and executives. The lack of chemistry saved them all from having to go to England for a lavish falsified wedding at least. “Now I get to go back to my ‘man eater’ persona.”

“Your coffees..”

Shada smiled thankfully at her own assistant who had brought over the drinks, the fellow student in his college classes had jumped at the opportunity to make some money and connections in the industry. Kevin Tran had been in many of the same classes as her for production and artisty, but she always thought his acting was lacklustre. Much better as a PA, the girl thought as he turned around for the girl’s to have their privacy.

“I guess that means they’ll be giving one of us a romantic interest in the next few days then, god I hope he’s cute!” Shada quipped, sighing happily at the thought of a tall, tanned man with strong arms and a wicked smile.

Bela rolled her eyes across the table at her, sipping at her drink with more care to avoid spilling than the other two upon their designer outfits for the scene. “Well you can’t get any worse than Crowley!” She tilted her head thoughtfully for a moment before adding, “Maybe they’ll give that plot line to Anna or Lilith.”

“Maybe it’ll be a bad boy to shake things up.”

“I hope they go for the Uptown Girl plot - like a waiter-”

“Or a mechanic-”

“Or a bartender slash musician!”

All three girls shared a laugh, trading careers back and forth until the camera crew had finally cleared out and their assistants and the director approached them about leaving. Bobby Singer was a great director, very smooth and friendly - like a giant teddy bear, Shada had thought after their first meeting - but liked to run on time and not indulge the cast’s demanding and slow movements some days.

“Ladies, thank you. Hair and make up next to hand in your wardrobe and get the right clothes for the paparazzi stalking this evening. You’re to be seen going to Heat later tonight, your guys know when, and Ruby, sweetheart, if you could appear to be upset on your entrance but get snapped kissing someone inside that would be perfect.” His gruff voice and the pained expression at having to provide such direction made all three girls smile. Bobby had been a staple of the reality-tv circuit, being one of the creators and directors behind the Love Boat and The Bachelor, but it was obvious he hated every second of the falsehood. “Now, I’ve got to get home and help my wife with our grandson, so you girls behave yourselves and don’t break character in public.”

Shada smiled after the older man as he left with the rest of the crew and each of the three headed towards their own trailers with their assistants. It was so decadent having her own trailer, with her own name on the door and her own bathroom and lounge area. It was everything she’d dreamed of as a little girl.

Kevin closed the door behind them and began to rifle through his phone with a weary sigh. “You’re supposed to go to the club at ten-fifteen, and they said to wear that outfit over there. If you want, I sweet talked Rachel into letting you wear those lower heels if you wanted as you’re not supposed to leave until after two.” He waved a hand towards her allocated outfit and appeared to brace himself for her loud squeal.

“They’re letting me wear Alexander McQueen!!” Her pitch hadn’t often gotten that high, and the gorgeous ensemble made her giggle. A glance at the low boots, covered in studs and shining below it next to the ridiculously high and strappy heels made her turn about to hug Kevin tightly. “I can’t believe they’re letting me wear McQueen, Kev!”

“Not just tonight either, they said to add it to your home-collection.” His cheeks flushed as he patted her on the back.

The home-collection was what they were calling the clothes all the cast could be spotted out around the city in. Contractual agreement required all cast members to have their wardrobes fully restocked and changed over regularly. Given the following of the show, where once they’d been able to get away with whatever was in their wardrobe to begin with, now they were being given set pieces to use at specific times, or any time. And while Shada loved her assigned style for the show, she knew not all the girls liked the same stringent requirements.

Shada giggled again, squeezing her friend’s arm once more before releasing him. “Well, I was supposed to go meet my brother at his girlfriend’s after filming this afternoon - so I better not wear it there.” She sighed forlornly as Kevin nodded and packed the dress away into a suit bag. “But I cannot wait. Can..can I wear the boots out though?”

“I can’t see why not.” The other shrugged, holding the bag over his shoulder as the other switched shoes before they left together. Kevin would take her dress back to her apartment - another perk of the show, though the inside did not match the outside of the building at all and Shada missed her old one terribly - and Shada headed off towards the bakery with a hop in her studded booted step.

The brunette arrived shortly after to find her brother missing and an almighty noise coming from the back of the bakery. The regular customers paid it no mind, and the friendly yet creepy barista seemed to be laughing it off to the unnerved new clientele. Shada slipped in unnoticed and made her way to a spare seat beside the cute, green eyed regular she always made sure to flirt with when she could. She always found the chair opposite him would be empty, unless his giant brother was sitting in it on quiet hours.

“Hey Shada. How’s life going?” Dean looked up from his papers for a moment when she sat down before turning his attention back to the work before him, asking the question offhandedly. If Shada didn’t know better, she’d think he wasn’t interested in her. But I do, he’s sooo playing hard to get with me. The girl smiled at her thought, shuffling in her seat so her best side was to him and her best features on display.

Shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly, Shada smiled sweetly and brushed her hair back behind her ear with a giggle. “Oh you know, work is fabulous, cameras love me, and I get to wear a beautiful dress tonight.” She saw his gaze flick up to her for a second before looking down again. “I’m sure it’ll look absolutely amazing. Anyone at Heat tonight will get to see just how much so...”

She fluttered her eyes again at him until she heard a cough beside their table. Turning, Shada barely concealed an eyeroll at the strange haired barista setting down a warm, perfectly made latte with two chocolate kisses in front of her. He was looking at her the way she’d been trying to get Dean to, and the girl let out a huff of disappointment as she slumped back in her chair.

“At Heat tonight, huh? All alone, chickadee, or is this one of the camera ops?” Ash asked with a smile, the edges twisted a little further down than they had been two seconds ago. The same cockiness that Shada wanted to slap out of his tone was there though. “Ya know, I do the work for most of the guys behind the bar there. I could show you around, maybe those VIP places you girls always seem to like, maybe you show me around your VIP places if you know what I mean..”

Shada groaned, rolling her eyes again as the tattoo artist and barista laughed at her reaction. He gave a shrug and a “suit yourself, princess” before he headed out the back to check on all the commotion. She found herself smiling despite herself at the lewd flirting as she popped the two chocolates into her drink and focused back on the man across from her whose shoulders were shaking in concealed laughter.

“You sure you don’t want to take him up on that, Shada? Not many girls get such a, uh...”

“Friendly offer?” She suggested, smirking back at Dean and sipping at her drink for a moment. “We already get those areas booked now. Something about the crowd can look but can’t hear. Means we can stay out of character more so long as we dress the part.”

“I don’t know how you do it.” The other responded, folding his paperwork away into a file and looking between it and her thoughtfully. Dean seemed to pause before extrapolating. “I don’t know how you can always be on when you need to. I mean, I have trouble enough putting these papers away after work-”

“Ergo why you’re always here with them!”

“Exactly! But I can put them away, where as you have to dress a certain way, and go to certain places and I’m betting if they knew you were here they’d make sure you had one of those oversized hats and sunglasses hiding that pretty face.” Dean finished, waving a hand about himself with a sigh.

“You think my face is pretty!” Shada chirped back at him, smile growing wider on her face as she reached out a hand to brush his for a second. It worked every time, and if the color on his cheeks was any indication it still worked now. “Well you know, you could come down tonight and see how it is.. Maybe you’d understand to see a bit of it.”

There was a thoughtful look on his face before Dean reached for her phone sitting face up on the table. “What’s the passcode?” Shada quirked an eye at him, before rattling it off and saying she’d change it right after. Dean tapped away at the screen for a few moments before pressing the side button and handing it back with a grin. “There. You tell me when you get there, and I’ll come see what it’s all about - your weird unreal life. And maybe how that dress looks, since it’s supposedly so amazing.”

Shada smirked a little and fluttered her eyes as they always scripted for her to at those sorts of lines on the show, sipping from her drink again as the man across from her packed up his belongings and waved goodbye. Tonight would be interesting, and hopefully if she was spotted with him the producers wouldn’t be too angry. He looks like he came out of an ad campaign anyway, not like they’ve found any hotter men yet.

As she finished her coffee and ducked her head into the kitchen to say goodbye to Jo and Ash (though the latter being out of his being there, than of her seeking him out) with a promise for them to tell her brother she’d been around, the dark haired girl left with a spring in her step still. And not just from the caffeine and sugar, which she realised as she turned up the steps of the picturesque apartment building she’d been assigned to that she never paid for her drink. She shrugged the thought off and set about readying herself for the evening.

Showering until her fingers turned pruney, shaving all the areas necessary for her outfit that evening and washing her hair until it would shine. The make up and hair artist came around and did their work, laughter between herself and the flamboyant man filling the time. Kevin arrived at just before ten, as she had donned her outfit and he’d brought an extra leather jacket to cover her with the cooler night temperature. Shada would usually have a glass of champagne before before a night out, but she already felt giddy and fluttery.

The typical camera crowd, originally they had been paid by the show but as they entered the third season on air the paid gave way to the real, was around the entryway of the club when Shada arrived to find Bela outside flirting with the bouncer. The uptake of camera action as Shada herself entered - the black lace dress floating about her bare legs as she stalked into the building with only the few necessary poses before the paparazzi. It was possibly her favourite outfit ever, and the cold night air hitting her skin through the lace all over cleared her mind and stomach of the butterflies she’d started to feel. Kevin was right to get her the jacket and suggest the boots.

Making her way through the club to the private booth set aside from the girls and two of their camera crew, Shada found the floating feeling returning as Ruby handed her a cocktail and drew her over to the other girls. Anna and Lilith were already seated, dressed in tight cocktail dresses that showed off their “angelic and devilish” contrasts as Rachel, the wardrobe mistress, would say. While the pair were thick and thieves in real life, when the cameras would turn to them or they would be prompted the fighting would start. If only Lilith and that asshole from season one hadn’t been caught making out by that pap, Shada thought with a sigh taking her spot beside the blonde haired girl, then maybe the pair could have remained friends on the show.

“Nice dress, Shada, couldn’t find a tea towel big enough to cover you instead?” The quip from the redhead got an eye roll from her, arms crossed under her chest despite herself. They’d never gotten along after Shada got to have the better wardrobe in the pilot - and Shada thought it wasn’t her fault that she got to be the seductive type while the loosest of them all had to portray a good Catholic girl! “Maybe next time you could just come naked!”

“Oh harsh, Anna!” Lilith giggled along with her friend, waving a hand about before diverting both of their attentions to each other and the floor. At least when the cameras weren’t trying to capture some falsified drama they could be mostly civil.

Turning towards Ruby, Shada found herself flushing as she caught sight of Dean talking to her work friend with a frown upon his face at the barrier. Hurrying over, Shada grabbed his arm, a little overly friendly but given the glares happening she was sure that her friend was about to punch him and ruin her chances of a night flirt otherwise.

“Hey Dean, so glad you could make it! Was I right or was I right about my dress? Did you need a drink? Hey Ruby, could you get us some drinks? You’re so lovely!” Shada speed talked, fluffing out her skirt with one hand, fluttering her lashes just so and waving her other hand behind the man’s back at her friend pleadingly.

As the other dark haired girl departed with a low growl, Shada grinned like a cheshire cat at getting the other’s full attention. His eyes really are quite green,  she thought to herself, swishing her hips too and fro a little under his gaze. The dress made her feel invincible and irresistible.

Dean shrugged a shoulder, lips tugged up into a cheeky grin in return. “You weren’t wrong, Shada, that does look great on you.” He ran his free hand through his hair as he looked past her shoulder, smile disappearing. “You, uh, didn’t mention it would be cameras inside too.”

The lens was focused completely upon the pair of them when Shada glanced behind her, the dark haired camera man giving her an overly innocent grin to the side of it. Gabriel was always pranking the girls, or catching them in their worst angles, or ensuring that he caught any embarrassing moments on camera for all of them but Ruby. He was the best camera man though, and was much more friendly than the others.

“Didn’t I?” Shada frowned slightly, looking back at him. “I must have forgotten. Or maybe I’ve gotten used to them..”

“Probably that.” Dean chuckled, though she thought it didn’t seem to hold the normal humour to it. He rubbed a hand over his face as Ruby returned and shoved a drink in his hand with a scowl; and Shada sighed thankfully when the camera focused in on the other girl and turned to follow her.

Sipping at her drink and trying to distract the hot guy at her arm away from his concerns about the cameras, Shada found herself pressing up against his side and stroking her hand along his arm. “They don’t often bother using much of this stuff, it’s not like we’re on script right now-” She turned to glance towards the other women to find them behaving as they would between takes. “Or else Anna and Lilith would be shouting and on opposite sides right now.”

He didn’t appear to believe her and Shada felt her anger rising up each time she noticed him staring at the other girls and the cameras rather than at her despite her very best flirting throughout the evening. She had to restrain herself from stamping her foot as she bit back a huff and fluffed her hair every so often as they talked to past midnight.

“Look, Shada..” The words came out with an almost pitying look on his face, green eyes softened and voice gentle as if he was trying to be as kind as possible. “I shouldn’t have come out tonight, and I don’t... I don’t get your.. your special type of world and I think you should talk to guys who do.” Dean smiled gently at her, and Shada felt her face scrunching up into the scowl that would always make her brother stop what he was trying to say and placate her. It didn’t seem to work on him though. “You do look lovely tonight.”

It just wasn’t fair. She looked gorgeous, they had free drinks and a private section of the club to themselves, there were her friends to talk and laugh with, and he had obviously wanted to see her tonight. But all she gets is a kiss on the cheek and a wink as he left early? It was so unfair.

She spent the rest of the night beside Ruby, sipping on whatever cocktail they were supposed to be promoting and ensuring that her lipstick was always flawless. Her friend tried her talking about some guy that had been on two episodes ago, the cute waiter plant that had been seen for the audience to have given her his number, but Shada couldn’t keep straight if this was a scene or a real conversation. That the other dark haired girl kept adjusting herself in her seat and whispering to the bemused camera man didn’t help with figuring out where that line was.

But she still looked gorgeous, and her dress was still amazing, so she found herself not caring as the drinks wore on. And the two girls left, along with the requested kissing shot from her friend with a random stranger before the pair of girls headed back to Ruby’s flat for the night.

The next morning Shada felt numb as she moved through the steps of the morning. The other girl’s apartment was well known to her after the year of working together (it was strange to think that within a year they had gone from a pilot episode to starting their third season) and was always stocked with the same beauty routine items that she needed for a morning. Towel drying her hair and looking over her dress from the night before, Shada smiled knowing her brother would flush and stammer about her not being covered up enough for brunch.

“You know, you should put some skinny jeans under that - it’d look gorgeous, Shae!” Ruby’s head popped around the corner of the door before she entered completely, starting her own morning routine. It had once made Shada blush to see the other woman strip off and walk about the place nude in front of others, but now it was simply expected. The other shouted over the running water as she got ready, “I’ve got a really cute grey-demin pair out on the bed for you to check it out.”

The other was right, it did look nice. And with the leather jacket Kevin had picked up, Shada was prepared for the day and donning an oversized pair of sunglasses before the other girl was out of the shower. With an agreement to see the other on set that afternoon, she was out the door and on the way to her brother’s favourite brunch spot to meet him and his baker.

“Aunty Shayday!”

Grinning widely, Shada grabbed up the young boy as soon as she arrived, his happy shout getting a laugh from her. She wasn’t really his aunt, but the little boy was so precious to her over the last year, and he was wearing the cute designer outfit she picked out for him in Season 2 when Lilith had her “pregnancy scare” arc and the girls went fake-shopping for her character development. Tapping him upon the nose as she hugged him tightly, Shada babbled back at him for a few minutes.

“Hey sis..” As the pair sat down again, Billy fitted into his booster seat beside his mom, Jack greeted her with a kiss to the cheek and a quick hug. “How’d last night go?”

That wiped the smile off her face, palms spreading the dress out on her lap as she pulled into place. Jack looked so earnestly interested and happy for her that she wasn’t sure how to say that their friend had ditched out on her. Maybe she shouldn’t have babbled about how handsome she thought Dean was on New Years to her brother.

Before Shada could answer, the other woman at the table spoke up. “Sweetie, could you go order for us while I get Billy situated?” With a kiss to the head her brother left, and Jo smiled across at the her understandingly. “That bad, huh?”

“Yeah, he uh, didn’t realise that they always have a camera on us in filming season.” Shada huffed, rolling her eyes as she smiled back forlornly. “He was so weird. Why are all guys so weird about it? Even Jack freezes up like a weirdo!”

“It’s a weird situation, Shada,” Jo shrugged in response, scooping a spoonful of the froth off of her coffee and handing the spoon to Billy to enjoy. He simply got the chocolate powder on his nose with a smile. “Not everyone is up to handling the cameras and spotlights.”

“But you’re always completely normal! You don’t even blink an eye about it!”

The blonde laughed at that, shaking her head. When the producers found out that Shada knew their main directors daughter it had made sense to use her shop on the odd occasion. But only on Sundays when the bakery was closed, and they brought in a fake crew of staffers for the scenes aside from the perky baker. Her store had even seen an increase in turn over after being heavily featured in the first season due to the free location charge. (Jo had joked the charge was really Bobby and her mom taking care of Billy more now that she was dating.)

“True, but unlike the guys I grew up being a random extra in the background, being around them is second nature for me so long as it’s not focused on my face!” The blonde woman laughed, handing the little boy another spoon of froth. “You can’t expect people not used to the attention to be comfortable the first time.”

“He didn’t even stay until midnight, and the cameras were on the other girls for the most part.” Shada pouted, bouncing her heels childishly against the chair legs as her brother returned. The coffee placed in front of her didn’t have her kisses. “Oh well, his loss - I’m hot!”

Jack coughed and spluttered on his own sip of coffee, his eyes watering as he endeavoured not to look across at her; though Jo and then Billy laughed at her statement.

“Right on, Shada, his loss, you’re hot.”

The conversation and morning flowed on from there, with Jack and Shada talking as always about his trying to get her to finish her university courses - “Even just the intensive classes during filming breaks!” - and Jo and Shada discussing the next due filming at the bakery in a few weeks time - “It’s supposed to be a big blow out episode for my birthday!” “But your birthday was two months ago!” “The fans don’t know that.” - or just general talk about a new show all three were obsessed with. Billy would occasionally contribute his own thoughts, babbling over the adults about something from his kindergarten lessons or that Ellen had taught him that week.

After they’d finished their meals, Shada hugged the group goodbye inside away from the two friendly photographers outside, she headed towards the set for that day with a renewed smile upon her face. Thank god I can still walk places without getting some...Kardashian level insanity! Though as she thought it, she couldn’t help but imagine being so famous and fabulous and fashionable like that group.

Kevin was bustling about her trailer at their base location and seemed to check his phone every three seconds as Shada arrived. He followed her into the trailer like a lost puppy, and Shada slumped back onto her couch with a sigh. They were supposed to be doing a scene at some art gallery that evening, and she was supposed to be acting as a wing-woman for Bela in a contrived “meet cute” with the new love interest.

“What did you do last night?” Kevin seemed to be frantic, and he slammed and locked the trailer door behind him shutting out the outside noise. “There’s photos every where of you and some guy - you weren’t supposed to be talking to any guys yet this season!”

“Oh it doesn’t matter anyways, he doesn’t like the cameras.” Shada waved her hand half heartedly, throwing the forearm over her eyes. She didn’t want to talk about this again. “If the producers and stuff are bothering you about it, tell them he’s just a friend of mine.” She turned her head a second to look at Kevin, about to add more when there was a banging on the trailer door.

The flustered man flapped his hand for a second, before composing himself like he would before entering the stage in their plays and performances for college. He opened the door with a scowl, though it dropped away at their director brushing past him with a grunt.

“Shada...”

“It’s nothing! I swear, we’re just friends!”

Bobby appeared to stop for a moment, before he lifted his cap and rubbed a hand across the top of his head. “Well it better be. Don’t go messing with Dean if you’re not serious, missy.”

That caught her off guard for a moment before remembering the strange connection between that whole group. Of course he cared more about that asshole’s feelings than hers. She was just a cast member, while he was family. Just peachy, bad little Shada toying with his friend’s son. Urgh. Shada sat up with a scowl, her voice growing haughty as she stared their director down. “As if I could be serious about such a smug asshole. No need to get your panties in a twist, it was simply a friendly drink and I have no interest in pursuing him further.” She stuck her nose up a little at the grumble from the older man as she flopped back onto her couch. “Please leave, I need to focus on just how to be the very best female friend a girl could ever have. As always, simply a friend!”

She didn’t bother to acknowledge the concerned look she got from both men, waiting until the older left with a barked remark about getting ready soon for them to roll out to the ‘gallery opening’.

It was quiet in the trailer for the next ten minutes as Kevin locked the door again and sat down on the other chair, tapping away on his phone again and letting her be the one to speak again. That was why she loved having him for an assistant, he let her wallow in her theatrics as long as she wanted.

Finally Shada moved to get ready, the beautiful lilac dress was just right for her feelings at that moment. Normally she loved to be the centre of attention, but inevitably Bela would be in something big and fabulous and Shada had had enough of the attention today. Kevin got up without being asked to do up the thin silver straps that were supposed to be wrapped up around her calf to just below her knee, and the styling team were let in soon enough for a sleek pony tail and demure make up.

As she caught a glance of herself on the way out of the trailer to their rides, Shada couldn’t help think that she looked like the type of girl that was “just friends” and not worth the trouble of cameras - beautiful, sweet but just not enough.

The rest of the night was a blur of general talk, scripted flirtation from her friend with some blond guy with a weird accent, and her scripted pumping up of Bela’s feelings. It was just like any other scene, and while it was fun to spend time with her friends and look so nice as everyone commented, Shada was called out more often than usual for not picking up her cue or pulled aside to be asked if she was sick. Sick, that’s a laugh, she thought after the third time, plastering a fake smile on her face and reciting her usual “I’m fine”, no, I’m just living in my special kind of world. She didn’t get asked again after that, and the crew cheered when the night was over with a final, overly romanticised kiss on the hand between her friend and the new guy.

Shada was in a funk for the next two weeks, pouting between takes and generally sour to those around her. She’d lashed out at Kevin when he’d not organised her driver for the weekend, she’d stormed off set when told to sit on the opposite side of the table to normal, and she’d hung up on Ruby when she tried to tell her about some ‘new guy’ or other. All she really wanted to do was stay at her old apartment, swan around in her favourite dresses and eat take out on the couch.

It was early, far too early for the crew to have even arrived to start, on the Sunday that Shada arrived at the bakery for that days scenes. The lights were off, but she found the door unlocked and could already smell coffee and something that smelt distinctly like her favourite cinnamon buns baking somewhere within. She pushed her way inside quietly and made her way through the metal swinging doors separating the front from the back, looking forward to talking with the other woman before having to turn back into the fake-Shada.

Jo was already working hard. Even though the store wouldn’t be open for the public, the baker always took advantage of these shooting days to work on new creations or get ahead on her elements for the rest of the week. The days that she’d work on something with white chocolate or berries were Shada’s favourites. Today didn’t smell like the case - more maple and bacon.

“No not like that!” The blonde shouted abruptly, smacking the other person in the kitchen on the back of the hand with her spoon. “God, I wish Bobby would send actual trained professionals in here and not just... What even do you do?”

“I’madelvahdrah.”

“A what?”

“Whose a what?”

Jo and the stranger jerked in surprise at Shada, before the blonde woman laughed and waved her over. “Early as always! Hey Shada, Billy was askin’ when you’d be coming over for Disney night again.”

A genuine smile graced her face as Shada came to sit atop the clear work bench nearby the pair. It wasn’t a moment before a plate with two pancakes and a berry sauce were popped beside her.

“Ian, can you go get us some coffees? At least you don’t fucking suck at that.” Jo shooed the dark haired man off with a laugh as she turned back around to face Shada. “Your brother was askin’ when you’d be over again. Somehow he’s gotten it into his head that you’re upset about somethin’.” There was a speculative look on her face as she raised a brow. “So’s Bobby and Kevin...”

Stuffing as much food into her mouth as possible, miming an inability to talk, Shada tried to duck the question with a laugh. What could she possibly be upset about? She had a glorious life, an awesome brother and his new little family, a great job doing something she loved, and got to wear beautiful clothes every day. Waving her hand as she swallowed, the dark haired girl raised a brow in return. “They’re all worriers. I’m totally good, just haven’t liked the lack of storyline for me so far this season while the others are having some good ones.”

“Understandable.” The baker hummed, turning back to her work and appearing to be focused on it as Shada finished her breakfast with a happy smile. “I’m sure something will come along for you soon enough - and if not, I could always drop a suggestion to Bobby.”

“Please don’t!” She begged, hating the idea of asking any sort of favor like that or to abuse the connection there. That the older man did try to ensure only her most flattering side was shot at all times and the lighting was always slightly better aimed for her than the others was already nepotistic enough for her. “I don’t need you fighting my battles, I am a grown up, I can handle myself!” The kick of her heel against the cupboard below her was supposed to underline her point, but only seemed to come across childishly.

Before either could add anything else, the strange man was back and placing two coffees beside the women with a grin. “Anything else, Jo?” The baker rattled off instructions, finally turning away from the other girl and focusing upon what they had been working on before. Some kind of bacon cupcake it looked like to Shada as she picked up her own coffee.

Staring down at the saucer though, she found herself smiling against her will. Set on the teaspoon and against the cup, getting warm and slightly melting already were the two little foil wrapped chocolates. Looking thoughtfully across at the dark haired man, she thought to herself. Finally someone else had given her her kisses.

[rueur]

Morning Pages #18 (24.01.2017)

Tuesday 24th Jan - 8:37 a.m.

I think I’ll need to go and pick up some more of Bruno’s dry food because it’s completely finished now, and he still seems hungry even after some treats and a larger helping of his wet food. The issue is, that Emily left me $600 and for some weird reason, I only have about $200 left. Wait, let me check to make absolutely sure. I have $280 left, and when I buy the cat food that’ll probably go down to $250, and I’m not entirely sure I remember what I even spent that much money on! Where in the world did $400 go in a little over a month? I mean, I remember buying groceries maybe at least three times, so that’s like $60, some books and things for Christmas so...$20. That’s only $80 though. I didn’t even spend that much money on the nights I went out. Maybe all up I spent like $40 out. That’s $120. I spent exactly $21 at the op-shop and I only went to one op-shop. I have no idea where all that money actually went and it’s kind of really really frustrating. My myki fares?? My mobile. That’s $170, but we’re not even halfway to what I’ve actually spent. This is actually infuriating. Oh, $15 on a movie, $5 on the Panettone for Ikaros and I. $190. Plus, myki fares, probably like $240 or quite easily more than that. Mykis are so expensive and in hindsight, I feel I should’ve gotten a pass while I was staying here. $25 for my dinner with Evan, so $265. There’s still about $50-$70 unaccounted for. Oh damn, I’m not even paying rent and bills here and I’ve blown through nearly $400 in a month. I should’ve been keeping a book or something full of my spendings. See, I thought I was quite a thrifty person, but evidently I’ve indulged myself whilst being on holiday. And I still really feel like I haven’t indulged myself at all! I’ve been keeping myself super busy since I’ve moved here. $5 for lunches with Dan and Lucas, $275. This is honestly doing my head in, I have to stop.

I think I’ll definitely need to study and work again. I’ve only got under $800 left to live off of this year, and that’s going to go in no time. I won’t be able to buy clothes, I think. I’ll need to invest very responsibly in which months I’ll get a myki pass. Oh, $16 for bottles of wine. $291. We can round that up to $300. We’re getting closer now to figuring it all out. $20 left, but I can probably write that off to my myki as well. Public transport is draining me, honestly. $4 a day just to get anywhere, I mean I might as well have just stayed in Northcote this entire time. It was even my main expense for most of these last two years, commuting back and forth between the city and South Morang. I spent more money on my myki than I did on my school books, on my food, on myself in general.

I just found the photo that Evan and I posed for the night we were at Laundry. Oh lord, my face. I have so much cheek skin, it’s ridiculous. And my smile is lopsided, and my teeth look menacingly sharp. I’m pretty sure I saw the photographer grimace when he saw the photo pop up on his camera too. My face has been looking more and more menacing as of late, I think. It used to be soft and inviting, but since I’ve lost weight I feel like it’s gotten sharper and more pointed, direct. Except for my nose! My nose is so fat, I have a fucking island nose. And I am allowed to say that because it’s true, my nose is from an island. Also, my skin looks white through the mesh of the hoodie. Evan looks good though. His head’s tilted upwards, he’s got a hand on my shoulder. I feel like he knows how to pose for these quick shots, I feel like he’s had a lot more experience clubbing than I have. I’d say he definitely does. His parents seem to be a lot more rational and a lot less strict than mine.

I went home yesterday for about an hour and the whole time, my parents were on their computer watching videos. My mum disappeared upstairs at one point and I found her sleeping in bed. I tried to talk to her about myself but she just kept saying what she wanted to say, didn’t listen to me at all. In my frustration with her, I ended up just telling her straight out that I went clubbing. She lost her shit. She started yelling and it was impossible to get a word in, all I did was just get up and walk away. I don’t know if I’ll go back home until I absolutely have to now. Thankfully, my dad was downstairs and he had about twenty minutes to talk to me. We spoke about how I went clubbing, what it was like, and my potentially going again. He said he was relatively fine with it, even though he didn’t agree with it. My parents need to understand that at this point, I��m going to blame them more for not letting me have experiences rather than blame them for not stopping me from having bad experiences, because under their guidance I have done very well to have only lived a very very tiny amount. I told my dad that, and he seemed sympathetic to that. I think he’s also closer to understanding that we’re growing up in different times than my mum is. My mum basically called me a slut again twice during my three minute conversation with her. She basically told me not to move as fast with Evan as I did with Ikaros, and then also called me disgusting for going clubbing. I tried to tell her that I didn’t even move that fast with Ikaros at all. It was only two months into knowing him that I kissed him, and we only started having sex five months into knowing each other too. In terms of relationships, Ikaros and I really started off at a glacial pace. Evan and I have been moving faster if anything. I kissed him the night I met him. If only I had that kind of courage the night I met Ikaros. Funnily enough though, both guys were drunk on the same night and I was painfully sober.

Another thing is the assertion of both my parents and Ikaros that I drink too much, just because I like to drink alone on occasion. If anything, I think it’s safer to drink alone at home than it is to drink outside with a whole bunch of people you either don’t know, or can’t really rely on because they’re drinking too. I’ve also never gotten blind drunk, I’ve never blacked out, I’ve only puked once and that was straight away because of the taste and not because of the quantity. Both Ikaros and my dad have gotten alcohol poisoning and I never have, and they can say that I drink too much? It’s a double standard, honestly. Just because I’m a young lady, I honestly think it’s just because I’m a small, young lady and they just think it’s abnormal to see me with alcohol. I don’t want to invite that kind of perception of me. I mean, I know my parents undoubtedly will at any or every given opportunity (because they’re my parents and it’s their job to belittle me), but my boyfriend has no excuse.

Oh, another thing. Vanessa and Ryan broke up, or so I’ve heard, which is insane. They’ve been together for over four years at this point, I’m fairly certain. They were together when I was in Year 12 with Vanessa. They have always been the ultimate power couple to me. Ikaros and I always felt kind of paltry in comparison whenever we hung out with them. And now it turns out that they’re going through exactly the same stuff that we’ve been going through lately! I always felt bad that Ikaros and I would ruin the ‘Power couples’ chat we had going on Facebook, but it turns out it was being simultaneously ruined by all four of us. It’s so weird. It’s like nothing is constant anymore; I feel like my parents have called it quits right now. Though that would never happen, because my parents have a really good marriage and I know this because a psychic told them so.

I told my dad that the main reasons I don’t think it’ll work with Ikaros are first of all, that he can’t give me any real response to my art which is a massive dealbreaker. Being a writer and working in this creative field is a tough position to willingly put oneself in. My professional future is going to be riddled with rejection and there will be demoralisation at every turn. I need a partner who will support me creatively even when the world cannot. I just need that, and it’s painful just knowing that Ikaros can’t give that to me, but I have a feeling it would be infinitely more painful down the line when it actually happens. If I see something that devastating becoming a more than potential reality, I should nip it in the bud, right? Evan’s a reader, too. And talking to him, and to Lucas, it just makes sense that I should be with someone who likes reading. A writer with someone who likes to read, I mean if that ain’t a match made in heaven. The night I met Evan I told him that there are more writers now than there are readers. Even Ikaros had a go at writing, working on that comic with Cameron. Some people will set out to create content without supporting anybody else. The industry is oversaturated with creators, and fewer consumers. To keep up the illusion that I’m not working in vain until the day comes that I’m legitimately successful and actually NOT working in vain, I should have the close support of a ‘consumer’/reader. Evan actually once referred to himself as an ‘aspiring consumer’, during our date.

Secondly, Ikaros is a devout believer in divorce. The marriages in his family have not been good. The women in his family have been borderline insane, and so the men always end up leaving them. Hearing all of his stories of family woe, I’ve always been semi-terrified that he’ll just decide that I’m insane in the future and end up leaving me too. I don’t want that to be my future, but you can’t ignore patterns when they’re right there in front of you. I’m not too fond of the idea of marriage itself, but I think that if you let yourself enter a marriage, you should be committed to it for life. You should respect that commitment FOR LIFE. Because that is the definition of marriage. Divorces were only invented by arrogant royalty, kings who wanted multiple wives. It’s ridiculous that divorce is actually a thing. When I get married, it’s going to be forever.