#what the fuck is anyone meant to make of this

[reidrum]

if you keep asking | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x fem!bau!reader

a/n: this was requested with “if you keep asking me i’m not gonna be okay” or smth along the lines 😭 i am a glutton for hurt/comfort fics so if yall have any more requests send em in :)

summary: in which you’re trying to keep it together when you hear some detectives talking ill of you, and spencer isn’t gonna have it

cw: hurt/comfort, self deprecation, insecure!reader, bitch ass detectives, protective bau my heart, use of she/her pronouns

wc: 2.2k

_______

the bau team was filing into the bullpen after landing from their last case in seattle, everyone making a beeline for their desks to get a head start on their reports so they could go home faster. everyone, except you. it felt like you were on autopilot, remembering your last known movements and just repeating them for as long as you could.

the case in seattle was rough to say the least. the unsub’s mo seemed to change every minute, making any progress the team made obsolete. the only thing that seemed to be somewhat consistent was where the unsub was taking his victims, which meant the geographical profile was the most important part to solving the case, a task you and reid were assigned to.

it started off fine, you both had found the comfort zone of where the unsub would strike next to figure out how to catch him in the act. except the next time he struck it was completely out of the predicted range, and this time a kid had died. no one could have anticipated that happening. it didn’t make the loss hurt any less.

the team knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault, humans are unpredictable, and that includes serial killers. spencer made sure to tell you specifically that it wasn’t your fault, he knew how you’d get if someone didn’t tell you.

his efforts went to utter waste when you walked by a room at the precinct with detectives whispering about how “you fucked up the whole profile, that’s why that kid died” and “it’s clear you make the team stupider, how did you even get into the fbi in the first place?”

it wasn’t the first time your abilities were in question. you were the newest member of the team, having only transferred six months ago from cold cases. you may be new to the field, but there was a reason hotch chose you personally for the bau.

you tried hard to prove yourself, despite pretty much everyone saying your skillset was enough proof. you’d stay late to finish reports, do extra research on cases to help garcia narrow her searches faster, and you spent countless hours at the training range.

you were a worthy agent, anyone who knew you or read your resume knew that. but right now, you felt like the smallest person on earth, an imposter. what the hell were you even doing here if you couldn’t save him.

you shouldn’t be allowed to feel relief that the team caught the unsub, not when there’s blood on your hands.

the bad thoughts swirling in your head causes you to stall your motions when you’re putting files away, gaining the attention of morgan, “you alright, sweet cheeks?”

“i’m good morgan, don’t worry.” you lie effortlessly. if he can tell you’re lying, he doesn’t mention it and turns back to his work.

taking a deep breath, you stand up to go to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, when you run into jj finishing up making her own, “i was just thinking about you, i got this new creamer i think you’d rea-, hey, are you okay?” jj starts but ends concerned.

you try to focus on metronomic tick of the clock so you dont escalate, “i’m fine j,” you laugh unconvincingly, “what creamer did you get?”

she ignores your question, “because i know that was a tough case, and if you need to talk about it with someo-“

“jj, drop it, please.”

the blonde’s face drops a little at your sternness, but respects your space and offers you to try the creamer before returning to her desk. you feel bad for snapping at her, but the growing guilt within you is giving you apathy, and you can’t bring yourself to care at this moment.

you linger in the kitchen so as to avoid any more concerned faces, and you’re left to your own devices that are slowly overtaking you.

unbeknownst to you, spencer had been watching you since you all landed back in quantico. he kept his distance, mostly because he knew how overwhelmed you get at confrontation, especially about your emotions. he was the same way, a man of logic getting befuddled by emotion was enough cognitive dissonance to last a long time.

he knew it was different with you. you had a way of internalizing everything in your surrounding, a downfall to your endless empathy for others even if they never deserve it. he could explain the logic behind your beliefs, and hopefully use facts to help you relax, but that was the other thing he knew about you; you were stubborn. asking for help is something you hated doing, and if it wasn’t on your accord to be asking, it was even more detrimental to your mood.

so when he watched you duck out from the kitchen and push past the glass doors of the bullpen, he knew you were reaching the head of your doom spiral quickly.

spencer got up from his desk, “i’m gonna go check on her.”

jj nodded, “just be mindful spence, something feels different.”

they’d all been on cases that hit a little too close to home, how could they not when all they do is rid the world of the evilest of evildoers. but after a good cry, a rant to a teammate, or even an emergency therapy session, even the worst of the scum could be washed away.

something about the way you’ve been acting since they landed seemed like those fixits aren’t going to work this time.

he let out a sigh in response and walked out of the bullpen, realizing he didn’t actually know which direction you went in. assuming you’d want to be alone, he thinks the bathroom might’ve been a viable option for you and heads towards it.

the nice thing about the seventh floor is that it’s only for the bau, the bullpen was where the team spent most of their time but outside the doors there were so many empty rooms being used for storage.

so as spencer walked towards the bathroom in the hopes of finding you, his ears pick up on a tiny sniffle a little ways before it. he stops in his tracks, hoping he was just hearing things. but another pained sob rang through the door on his left, and he knew he’d found you.

he rapps the door a few times, softly calling your name, “hey, it’s spencer…can i come in please?”

you were on the other side sitting at one of the abandoned desks with your head down, but shot up at hearing spencer’s voice, “i- i’m fine i just needed a minute. i’ll be back in like two minutes, i promise.” you angrily wipe at the tears pooling on your face, grateful that you took your makeup off in the plane.

“honey, that’s not what i asked,” he starts, “is it okay if i come in?

your heart clenches at the term of endearment as you stare at the door knowing he was waiting for your okay to come in, and you start to internally weigh your options. you could let him in, and let him in to do whatever comforting you know logically would help. or you could lie, and feign ignorance to the end.

don’t they say ignorance is bliss?

you make sure to wipe the last of your tears and your runny nose before practicing a few fake smiles so it didn’t look like your face was frozen in sadness for the last thirty minutes. turning the knob you swing the door open, borderline creepy smile on your face as you greet the man, “hi dr. reid! was there something you were looking for?”

he furrows his brows at your complete (fake) shift in mood, but he comes in and shuts the door behind him, and moves to stand a few feet from you, “what’s going on?”

“nothing spence, i’m fine.” you insist.

spencer thinks if you could be more see through you’d be a windexed window. you’re avoiding eye contact with him, picking at the skin of your thumb, he can see your nose is red most likely from all the tissue blowing, and your eyes are still puffy and lined with some unshed tears still. you are so clearly breaking at the seams, like an old childhood teddy bear with stuffing falling out the sides yet hoping you can offer some semblance of stability despite your state.

“you don’t look fine, honey. why won’t you tell me what’s bothering you?”

his words almost make you falter, and you think the walls you built so high are starting to chip down. “it’s not a big deal spence, i-,” a hiccuped breath gives you away, “i can deal with it on my own.”

spencer instinctively shortens the gap between you two, “you shouldn’t have to. i just wanna help you.”

“but i’m oka-“

“no you’re not.”

there is only one tiny thin thread left holding you together. “well,” you take a deep inhale and your voice gets impossibly small, “if you keep saying things like to me i’m not gonna be okay.”

“that’s why i’m here.” he says softly.

you look up at him with the biggest glassy doe eyed look he’s ever seen, and it’s like spencer can hear the snap of the thread in real time when he watches your face absolutely crumble. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into his embrace, allowing him to hold your head down in the middle of his chest while his other hand smooths up and down your back in comfort.

“i know, shh, hey it’s okay, i got you.” he comforts.

your hands wrap around his waist beneath his suit jacket and you keep your face buried in his chest, inhaling the musky vanilla scent of his cologne mixed with the fresh laundry detergent smell letting it ground you back to him.

“i’m sorry.” you cry.

“don’t say that,” he hushes, “is it about the case?” you nod in his embrace, “we talked about it remember? there was nothing we could have done. we did everything right, sometimes it just doesn’t work out, you know that.” he moves his hand to tangle in your hair and rub your head.

“i- i know,” you say through labored breaths. you take a big breath before admitting the true reason for your anguish, “when we were about to leave, i walked by a room with some detectives talking about how i ruined the case and that…i’m the reason the kid died.”

“what?” he pulls back to look you in the eyes hoping to find any indication that you didn’t believe those poisoned words, “we both worked on that geographical profile together, the whole team agreed it was accurate and acted accordingly. what happened was not your fault. at all.” he emphasizes the last two words.

“yeah but…i don’t know maybe i could ha-“

“stop. you can’t do that to yourself. we did what we could with what we had, the burden of that child’s passing does not fall on you. we were only able to find the unsub’s hiding spot when you figured out he’d been going to the same gas station since the murders started.” he reinforced to you.

“they said that they didn’t know how i even got into the academy in the first place, and that i make the team stupider.” you quietly added.

spencer felt the rage consume his body, already planning the ways he was going to obliterate seattle pd. he cradled your head to look at him in the eyes, “listen to me. you are an important asset to this team. you make this team better at what they do, you make me better at what i do. you mean so much to me and the team okay? please don’t forget that.”

he swipes at a fallen tear on your cheek as you tell him between sniffles, “thanks spence…” you hope he understands the sentiment and love you’re trying to exude to him, even thought you’re unable to vocalize it.

“you gotta tell me if something like that happens,” he softly scolds you, “i’ll make sure they lose their fucking jobs.”

you’re about to speak when he cuts you off, “and don’t tell me that we should be the bigger people, because once the rest of the team hears about this, they’re all gonna be fighting over who’s gonna kick the shit out of them.”

you let out a tearful giggle, “you sound really funny when you curse.”

he scoffs, “what the hell, i do not!”

“you sound like a baby duckling that just learned how to say fuck.”

he starts to guide you out of the room and towards hotch’s office so you can recount what happened, “ouch, i’m hurt. i’d like to think the pistol and fbi badge i carry makes me intimidating.”

you giggle again, and spencer puts aside his rage to revel in the fact that you’re feeling better.

when hotch learned of what happened he immediately called seattle pd to file a motion to get those detectives fired, and the rest of the team were secretly praying for a case in seattle again so they could, as spencer predicted, kick the shit out of them.

[princessbrunette]

basketball!rafe knew he needed you the moment he set eyes on you once more in that hotel bar.

personally, you thought he might’ve been a nobody on first glance. a really handsome nobody, so he couldn’t have actually been a nobody — but it was the intrigue that drew you in regardless. to set the scene, you didn’t have to go far to find him, no — this was the fanciest hotel in your hometown and you were there alone. something about getting all dressed up and then your friends cancelling last minute, it didn’t matter — it felt like so long ago that you’d forgotten all about it. all you remember was seeing the handsome nobody in a t-shirt and a cap strolling up to the bar.

it was only after doing a double take, you realised the nobody was rafe cameron.

now you’d already known rafe from the obx. distantly, of course — a couple of parties here and there, some lingering glances when you were convinced he was a fuck boy. he was apparently a little unhinged back in the day, but after his dad died he fixed his shit and went pro with basketball, making it big. like mentioned, you weren’t friends, merely acquaintances with the boy a couple of years your senior— but he’d always been someone you saw get their shit together and think, you know what? good for him i guess.

now rafe remembers his history with you differently. apparently, he used to shoot hoops with your older brother in your backyard with a few other friends back when they were younger. still a casual hobby for rafe, and playing it anywhere else but a kook’s backyard might’ve looked too poguey for him to be caught partaking in. at the end of the day, golf was meant to be his sport. it was fitting and low maintenance. basketball took the cake everytime however— helping him mentally in more ways than anyone could imagine.

anyway, he remembers you — a lot younger than you are now, flip flops slapping along the patio as you arrive on destination — mouthing off to your big brother about bouncing the ball too loudly off your wall or spending all the money your mother had left for pizza on the counter. you were this tiny mouthy weapon, even having the infamous rafe cameron snickering down at his shoes as your brother whined back at you, trying to shoo you back inside. he recalls even catching a couple of strays, your shrill youthful voice referring to the eldest cameron as a ‘lanky meathead’.

“jesus, you gotta keep your sisters mouth in check dude. gonna grow up n’get her in trouble n’shit.” he’d shake his head as you’d waddle back inside, bouncing the ball and shooting. after that it was just parties as you grew up, seeing a familiar pretty face through a coked out haze and thinking ‘who’s that again?’ in passing or overhearing you talking to your friends, still carrying that same slick mouth that you only got away with because you were so hot.

only now, he’s staring across this dimly lit hotel bar, the first time in a while that he’d been back in his hometown and there you are — staring back at him, a face he’d never forget except you’re all grown up now— practically spilling out that slinky little dress and acting as a magnet, his feet dragging him over to you before his drink had even arrived from the bartender.

not even five minutes into conversation and it’s abundantly clear that you’re still that spoiled little cheerleader he knew once upon a time, only this time you’re tilting your head to the side with your brows furrowed in confusion that bordered on disinterest when he tried to explain what happened in his most recent game. you weren’t here to talk about that and it showed, leaning over your margarita to adjust his expensive looking chain, pulling it to sit above his tshirt instead of tucked beneath, cutting him off to question “so you knew my brother, right?” he liked that directness about you. the fact you kinda seemed like a bitch. it was a challenge, the urge to tame and rough someone up still very much sat at the surface of his wants and desires.

once a spoiled brat — always a spoiled brat, only now you’re his spoiled brat six months later, clinging to his arm and digging your manicure into his bicep with a whine as a silent command for him to magically vanish any of the surrounding paparazzi outside the airport.

“get rid of them.” you eventually mewl, in a demanding way that represented the physical embodiment of you stomping your pedicured foot.

“you think i fuckin’ want them here?” he sighs, no stranger to your ridiculous requests. that’s what was so intoxicating about your relationship — yes you were a little bitch sometimes, but he learnt how was best to put you in your place. most of the time you were happy, fucked and fed with racks upon racks sat in your expensive handbag, clinging to him and tottering along at his side in heels that cost an arm and a leg— but the times you were snarking up at him, telling him to ‘shut the fuck up’ he was more than happy to grab your throat and ask “the fuck are you talking to like that, huh?” which oddly would cause a smile to emerge on your face and the attitude to melt off you for an hour or so.

that being said, you kept him in check too. now rafe wasn’t like he always was — unhinged, explosive and overall angry at the world. no, he had an access to therapy now and basketball worked for a good outlet of his frustrations, all whilst opening up a new world for him to get his fresh start away from all that family bullshit he had to put up with a while back (cut them all off, minus wheezie who he sends money to every month and facetimes to talk shit.) that being said — he would be the one to catch an attitude out of the blue sometimes, which was often remedied by a sharp eyebrow raise from you, a dramatic head swivel and a “you better fucking talk to me nice, rafe cameron. not one of your fucking fan girls.”

with a tongue in his cheek, he’ll shake his head and drop the whole thing — but not without saying “y’know you run your mouth like you’re six foot four with two pistols tucked sometimes. shit.”

life outside of your relationship with rafe became a dream all because of him. quickly, as rafe skyrockets to success in the basketball world, you’re skyrocketing to being the top pinterest muse— starring in every girls ‘future manifestation’ moodboard with snaps of you courtside in your pretty little outfits cheering on your boyfriend. you were glammed to the nines at every game, because you knew you’d end up on that big screen one way or another.

when travelling with rafe for his tournaments, you’d get the princess treatment you deserved and that was a promise. designer shoes, designer bags, steak meals that cost the same as your house back home and you were not poor by any stretch of the word. he liked to flaunt you, flaunt his success. he was the man now, like he’d always wanted to be — and effortlessly so, not the charade he was putting on back at tanny hill throwing those parties whilst suffering on the sly. no, he had everything now— and was happy to share that with you. you didn’t have to do much to gain this treatment, no. holding him down was enough, but he’d be happy to accept your payment of gratitude in having his cock wedged down your throat in the limo back to the hotel, ending the night on your back with your ankles on his shoulders and that same chain you fiddled with when you first reunited swinging in your face.

it was no secret that the two of you fucked. it made up a good 60% of your free time together, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. rafe could still get very frustrated — with his manager, with his teammates, with people from his past cropping up, even with the general public who had opinions on his playing — and with that, what better way to pound out some frustrations then by bending you over a balcony in a foreign country? rafe had a good team behind him, and luckily so — because it wouldn’t be the first time a hotel had attempted to get the two of you blacklisted for causing too much of a noise disturbance, notes pinned to your door found in the morning reading ‘Dear guests, whilst we are thrilled that you are enjoying our hotel, we please ask that you keep it down for the sake of the other guests. To remind you, other guests do not need to hear your lovemaking through the night! If this continues throughout your stay you will be asked to leave.’

your basketball player boyfriend would pluck the note off the door the next morning when you’re leaving together for the day, your sleepy self tucked under the arm of his hoodie covering his jersey as he scoffs, handing it your way carelessly. “pussies. they can’t do shit about it.”

unstoppably so, despite your hate for gossip past being in high school the notes would turn to blind items as rafe truly came into the public eye. you couldn’t scroll three videos on tiktok without hearing ‘this north carolina basketball player and hometown it girl may have come into hot water again at this famous vegas hotel after making sure their wall neighbours heard the ins and outs of their passion — april 27th, crazy days and nights.’ that, or the blogosphere getting ahold of the blurry and ambiguous paparazzi shots taken of you supposedly ‘getting it on’ on the beach.

unfortunately, this public knowledge that the two of you were real fuckers was not enough for twitter, which resulted in your first leaked video.

rafe should have known to be careful when the two of you in a lustful haze filmed an amateur tape the day before you had to fly home for a little while, the basketball player knowing he’d miss being in it and needed some material to work off whilst you were gone.

the video was 1 minute and 49 seconds of pure glory. filmed on landscape with an outstretched arm rafe captures you, whining and mewling as you roll your hips on his lap, bouncing on his cock as he watches the two of you through the screen, swollen lips parting and tongue flattening to catch your nipple as you do so. he grips your ass hungrily, aiding you on fucking down on him before delivering a firm smack to your ass that makes you jolt, only unlatching his mouth from your tit to grumble out “s’what i’m fuckin’ talking about baby. who’s your daddy, huh?” looking up at you from your needy spread out position.

you still recall the way your heart dropped into your ass seeing your name along side rafes in the trending tab, following by the words ‘leaked video’.

your legal teams were all over it instantly, working hard to get it shut down off every site it had been reuploaded and desperately attempting to track down whoever had managed to get into your boyfriends cloud to expose it— a couple weeks of watching paparazzi shots of rafe taking calls outside buildings, yelling down the phone and flipping off the cameras in moments of frustration and stress — for him to then be on the phone to you from a hotel room later that night, talking you down as you cry like a baby and complain.

“i know, i know alright i’m workin’ on it. gonna get that shit wiped from the net i can promise you that now, i got the guy who can make it happen for me. but for now, look y’know there’s — there’s nothin’ i can do alright, i can’t make people fuckin’… unsee that shit unfortunately just be glad you look so sexy in the video cause — okay, shit, the hell are you yelling for? m’just tryna help—”

after a while it does infact die down, and the video can no longer be found — yes, even on the shitty pop up porn sites that had reposted it with twelve watermarks in the worst quality. however, it didn’t stop jaded basketball fans from bringing it up any chance they got — getting in heated debates online and using it as an insult to the cameron boys playing skills. god forbid a rafe fan would speak up for him after a particularly poor game, his mentions getting filled with nothing but a screenshot of your boyfriend with your titty in his mouth.

though it had faded, the two of you learned that there was no way around it than to humour it — your boyfriend barely addressing the tape by quoting it in his instagram caption after one of his big wins, the post of him grinning on the court with his trophy tilted ‘who’s your daddy, huh?’ which of course, sent twitter into a spiral.

[izzyreadingblog]

Confessions | Mapi León x Ingrid Engen x reader

+18 minors please do not read it.

Rough Sex. Oral Sex. Strap-Ons. Praise Kink.

A/N: English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes.

You had never meant to tell anyone about it. The dream had been embarrassing enough, making it hard to spend any length of time looking at the two of them, which wasn’t ideal when you had to work and travel with them both. You’d already been wary of spending time outside of training with them both, but it was hard to say no to Ingrid’s big green eyes when she begged you to join team bonding night.

And then Pina had dared you and the truth had just come spilling out.

Fucking team bonding night. Fucking tequila. Weren’t you all old enough to know better?

It’s possible they won’t remember anything in the morning, you think as you change into sweats to sleep in. It’s too late to go home, Lucy, Alexia, and Ona already bagged the spot in the guest room and you’re too tired to argue. So you are left to sleep with Mapi and Ingrid in their bedroom. 

What could go wrong?

You know it’s a bad idea the second you step back into the room. Mapi is sprawled on the bed in nothing but an oversized t-shirt, tanned legs hanging off the end of the mattress, and your breath catches just looking at her, an unwanted memory of that dream piercing through your alcohol-hazed brain. Ingrid is rummaging in a drawer and even with nothing but a pink glow from a lava lamp to see with, you can tell she’s wearing nothing under the bathrobe she’s hastily thrown on. Presumably, she’s looking for something to sleep in.

Calmly, you continue your route to the bed, sitting down and carding a hand through your hair, plugging your phone into the charger by the bed, and setting an alarm. You try to act nonchalant despite the hair on your neck prickling at the reminder of your half-dressed teammate less than a foot away. Mapi is on her phone anyway, not paying you a moment’s thought. It’s only when you swing your legs up onto the bed that you realize Ingrid is standing very close beside you, and you get startled. Even in just a light pink dressing gown and her face mostly clean of make-up, she strikes a commanding figure. You find yourself automatically sitting up straighter.

“Did you find it?” Mapi asks, casually, not even looking up from her phone.

“Yes, baby.”

There’s a click as Mapi locks her phone, moving out of the corner of your eye as she sets it down, tossing her hair over one shoulder and finally turning her attention towards you both. Heat is making its way up your spine and your chest and you know this isn’t what you think it is, but it’s making you paranoid all the same.

“Find what?” You find yourself asking.

“Sorry it’s not exactly like you described, but something tells me you won’t mind,” Ingrid teases, and before you know what’s happening, she’s pulling the robe to one side to show a large purple strap on between her legs.

Dumbfounded, you let Ingrid guide your hand towards it, over the tip, stroking down its length. Your heart is pounding by now, and you pull your hand back hastily, still half thinking this must be a joke. You glance at Mapi, but she’s curled onto her side, looking at you with interest, one hand dangerously close to the hem of her shirt. Her nipples are visible against the cotton and her eyes are dark with lust.

Not a joke, then. A dream. It has to be. You’re passed out on your bed, having another wet dream about your teammates. It’s the only explanation.

“Good thing I didn't leave this in my bag in Norway, huh?” Ingrid teases, tugging on the toy like she’s wanking off a real dick. “Don’t worry, I’ve cleaned it since that night baby.”

Beside you, Mapi blushes, biting her bottom lip in a way that only makes her more attractive.

“You have any idea how good Mapi looks on her knees with my strap in her throat? Do you think you’d look good like that? What do you think, Mapi?”

Your pulse has shot straight to your cunt by now, the heat building there needy and frantic. Completely dumbfounded you don’t know how to react to any of this, but your body does. You know how wet you are already, how much your nipples are aching to be touched, you can’t look at Ingrid in the eyes, but you can’t keep staring at the toy either, so you look down at your own hands, noticing the way they’re clenching and unclenching, sweaty and trembling.

“I’d like to see it,” Mapi’s input sends a shiver through you.

“You heard her, beautiful. Is time to be on your knees.”

Almost of its own accord, your body moves, following as Ingrid moves away from the bed, gesturing to the shag carpet beneath her feet. It’s a good thing she wants you on the floor because your knees feel like they might give out as your eyes trail up her long legs, the strap between her legs standing to attention. You lower yourself to the floor, subconsciously licking your lips as you imagine them around the head of the toy.

“Wait,” Mapi calls from the bed before you’ve even had a chance to touch Ingrid. “I think she’s a bit too clothed.”

Ingrid regards you in your loungewear set and hums her agreement. You try not to feel self-conscious as you lift your tank top off, feeling two sets of eyes scrutinizing the flesh you reveal. You’re eager to please, so when Ingrid reaches down and tweaks one of your nipples, you make a show of tossing your head back, gasping at the jolt of pleasure it sends through you. Her hand moves up to your face, tugging it closer, and, obediently, you open your mouth, taking the head of her dick between your lips.

“Good girl,” Mapi praises, cupping your face, and it’s so similar to the dream that you wonder if you hadn’t somehow let that little detail slip after all.

With encouragement, you move further, taking more of the silicone toy into your mouth. You’ve never done this before, but it’s easy to forget that the appendage isn’t part of Ingrid, especially when your gaze meets hers, finding the look of pleasure in her eyes. With each suck of the toy, Ingrid moans, hips thrusting, until she’s fucking your mouth with it, pushing hard enough that you gag around the silicone, withdrawing completely, leaving a long string of saliva attaching you to Ingrid’s dick. She wipes your face, encouraging you to stand up and kiss her. Ingrid’s a good kisser, maybe even better than she was in the dream, and you lose yourself in it, letting out a surprised whine when she eventually pulls away.

“Such a good girl, taking me so well. I bet you have a sweet little pussy, don’t you? I don’t think you could handle me.”

You shake your head, still sort of astonished by the way Ingrid is talking to you, how quickly she’s taken over the persona from your dream. You glance over at Mapi and find she’s closer than she was, her hand having edged its way inside her panties. You have to look away, the sight of her making you almost unbearably aroused.

“I think you need Mapi to get you ready for me,” Ingrid says, “is that how it happened in your little fantasy? Do you want to cum on Maria’s tongue, first?”

“Answer her,” Mapi encourages from the bed.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

You swallow, gazing up at Ingrid, trying to gauge what she wants. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good girl. Take those sweatpants off. Lie on the bed for me, legs open.”

You do as you’re told. It’s as simple as being given a work assignment, the heady arousal drowning out any room for concern or hesitation. Once your pants are tossed aside, you leave yourself open on the bed, watching as Ingrid and Mapi kiss. They’re too intoxicating together, Mapi with her hands in Ingrid’s hair and Ingrid taking a fist of Mapi’s shirt and holding it against her spine, revealing her perfect ass peeking out around a lacy thong. This is everything you dreamed about and more, the need to touch yourself is almost overwhelming as you wait for someone to do it for you.

Ingrid pushes Mapi towards the bed, slapping her ass on the way, Mapi’s face is flushed, but there’s easy confidence in the way she shirks her t-shirt, revealing perky-looking tits, hard nipples begging for attention. You want to reach for her but something stops you. Some thought that you’re supposed to wait for permission. When Mapi straddles you, legs not quite touching yours, and you reach a hand upward, your suspicions are confirmed.

“No touching,” the blond whispers, leaning down to gently kiss you, then continuing, “Not until Ingrid says you can.”

Mapi’s mouth drifts along your body, barely making contact, and it takes everything to stop yourself from breaking the rules. Mapi licks down your abdomen, and you shiver, letting out the faintest whine which makes her laugh, looking up at you with a glazed expression. Her hands move to your waist, slender fingers lifting you, repositioning you the way she wants you. Mapi’s breath against your cunt makes you bury your fingers in the bed sheets to resist touching anything you aren’t allowed to, your grip tightening when the very tip of her tongue brushes against your slit. Her grip moves to your ass, prompting you to put your legs over her shoulders, and then she’s gently stroking her tongue over you, and you lose all sense of thought. Her tongue parted you, delving into the shallowness of your pussy and then up, ghosting over your clit, then again with more pressure, more intent. The sounds that come out of you are embarrassingly loud and guttural, and you know Ingrid's going to get her wish of seeing you cum on Mapi’s tongue in no time.

Mapi’s lips wrap around your clit, sucking, then her tongue moving in quick, hard patterns against the bud, and you make a sound you’ve never heard come from yourself before, clenching your fingers in the mattress so hard you think you might rip it. You feel her smile against you, repeating the action, and then shifting slightly, two fingers sliding into your wet depths, moving painfully slow. In the next suck of your clit, Mapi curls her fingers, thrusting harder, her knuckles brushing against your inner walls. It feels so fucking good, you whine for more and a third finger. Her tongue traces tight patterns against your clit, flicking it upwards as Mapi plunges her fingers into you, almost lifting you off the bed again.

“You’re doing so well,” Ingrid praises, moving closer. Her hands ghost over your tits, not applying enough pressure anywhere, but stimulating your tightened nipples all the same. “Does she feel as good as she did in your dream?”

Your head is so hazy it takes a moment for the words to make sense, let alone to form a response. “Yes,” you moan, eventually, “better.”

Mapi hums against your pussy in response, just lightly ghosting her teeth against your clit, nibbling in a way that threatens to pull you over the edge.

“Are you going to be a good girl and cum for me?” Mapi murmurs sweetly, gazing up at you with big brown eyes, her nose and cheeks glistening with your arousal.

Mapi doesn’t wait for a response, diving back in, and fucking you with more fervor until you feel like you might rip in two if you don’t cum soon. Ingrid’s hand was still on your breast, squeezing firmly, her thumb swiping over your nipple in time with Mapi’s tongue on your clit. You shudder, legs clamping tight around Mapi’s head, and when the orgasm hits, words spill out of your mouth in a tumble of barely cohesive sounds. Mapi coaxes you through it, pressing kisses to your thighs, fingers still buried inside you, and laying you gently back down as you come down from your high.

It should be embarrassing. It only isn’t because Mapi is gazing at you with soft eyes and your cum spread across her chin. Ingrid reaches for her, kissing her thoroughly and moaning at the taste of you on her tongue. You know you’re in trouble from the way your pussy leaps at the sight of it, desperate to be filled again. 

And Ingrid has just the thing.

You sit up, running a hand through your hair in a vague attempt to tame it. You’re having trouble focussing your vision on any one thing in front of you: Ingrid’s pale thighs and the hint of the silicone dick you’re desperate for her to fuck you with, Mapi’s incredible body. The shoulders of Ingrid’s dressing gown have slipped down, the tie the only thing stopping it from revealing her full chest. You want so much to see her, to touch her. 

To be fucked by her.

Pulling away from Mapi, Ingrid moves towards you. She pushes into the space between your legs, forcing you to make room for her. Breath catches in your chest as you reach a hand upwards, hoping to undo the dressing gown tie, but Ingrid catches your wrist before you can make contact.

“Uh-uh,” she smirks, withdrawing from you entirely. “On your hands and knees on the end of the bed, please. Face the headboard.”

You follow the directions easily, though your heart is pounding in your chest. The air in the room is so still you can hear Mapi’s labored breaths and the way the mattress springs creak as you move. You wonder if Alexia Ona and Lucy can hear you from their room. You’ve never really been into being bossed around but fuck it’s different when it’s Ingrid. How you’re ever going to take an order from her at work again, you don’t know.

Firm but cold hands grip your hips, tugging you into an ass-up position that takes a moment to be comfortable. Ingrid runs her fingers through your folds, gathering moisture and spreading it, and you almost shake with anticipation. And then she’s gone. Mapi appears in your peripheral, brushing your hair behind your ear tenderly. She ducks to the same level as your face, still stroking your cheek, your jaw.

“Is this ok?” the blond asks, “if it’s too much we can—-“

“No, no,” you stammer, and in response, Ingrid grips your hips tighter.

Mapi dips her head, kissing you softly in a way that makes you dizzy. Just as Mapi deepens the kiss, sinking her teeth gently into your bottom lip, Ingrid chooses that exact moment to push the head of her dick into you. The sound of the gasp that leaves your lips echoes in the space between your mouth and Mapi’s. You can’t keep kissing her, not when Ingris is sinking further into your cunt, stretching and filling you painfully slowly.

“Please,” you whine, hips automatically pushing back for more contact.

Ingrid’s grip tightens on your hip, fingers deep enough to bruise. “You get what I give you,” she says, withdrawing the strap almost entirely.

Before you can object, she’s plowing back in, starting up a bruising rhythm that you feel all the way to your toes. Your eyes squeeze closed, taking in the deep, hard strokes that feel like they’re reaching all the way into your belly,

“Oh my god. Oh, Jesus fuck.”

“Shut her up, Mapi.”

You expect a kiss. What you don’t expect is the bed sinking under the blond’s weight, Mapi grabbing a fist full of your hair and forcibly lifting your face to her dripping cunt.

Despite every part of your body groaning at the overstimulation, you let your tongue run through her folds. She tastes so sweet and tangy, and her hand is guiding you where she wants you, stopping you from having to think. Allowing you to concentrate on Ingrid. All you have to do is keep licking and sucking, eyes closed, half listening to the wet slap of Ingrid filling you, half listening to Mapi’s soft moans and murmurs of your name.

You’re not going to last long at all. The tightness building in your abdomen, the way your thighs are clenching, legs wobbly.

Mapi’s nails against your scalp, her hand clenched in your hair, feels amazing, but it’s Ingrid adjusting her grip on you, one hand taking a rough hold of your tits, that tips you over the edge, palm stimulating your nipples, her hips lifting so the base of the toy rubs your clit, bumping across the sensitive nub. You can’t concentrate on attending to Mapi anymore, breathing heavily against her instead, barely registering the way her body is fluttering around you. Something deep inside you knots, and before you can stop yourself, you’re coming, hard and fast, trembling around Ingrid’s strap. You grip Mapi’s hips for balance, lowering your head so your chin is against her clit. She’s watching you cum, rocking herself against you, using you to simulate her orgasm.

As soon as you’ve recovered, Ingrid still buried deep inside you, you hook your hands around Mapi’s gorgeous legs and get to work. Now that you’re less distracted, it doesn’t take long to have her quivering on the edge. Ingrid’s murmuring encouragement, rocking just slightly into you so as not to over-stimulate your sensitive cunt, and it’s just the right amount. You shift so you can slide two fingers into Mapi, feeling her pussy tighten around you, welcoming you in.

It only takes a few thrusts, the constant dance of your tongue against her clit, and she’s cumming, her grip on your scalp so tight it hurts. You try to watch, to absorb every part of her in case you never get the chance to see it again, still not entirely sure this isn’t some elaborate dream, conjured up by copious amounts of alcohol.

Ingrid pulling out of you leaves you feeling hollow and spent. You collapse against the bed, rolling onto your side so you can give Mapi some space to recover. You’ve used muscles you haven’t exercised in months if not years, and your body is gonna hurt like hell tomorrow.

If this is real. If it isn’t your brain playing another evil trick on you.

“Well, fuck,” Ingrid chuckles, sliding the harness of the dildo down her legs and tossing it somewhere in the room. “I hope that was good. I’m exhausted.”

The break in character leaves you momentarily speechless. Mapi sits up, looking disheveled and breathless, and gives you a dopey-looking smile.

“It was better than ok for me. How are you doing beautiful? Do you need anything?”

You were still on a high, mind clouded with everything that had happened, still not fully knowing if it was real or a product of your mind, you couldn’t do anything but stare at Mapi, words not coming out of your mouth.

“I think we broke her my love,” Ingrid says to Mapi, “I’m going to get a cloth to have you both clean, keep an eye on her baby”

Ingrid goes to the bathroom and comes back with two cloths, she first goes to Mapi and helps her get clean and after a quick kiss, you feel her get close to you and you hear her beautiful voice say “I’m going to clean you okay, are you okay with me doing that? answer verbally please I need to know”

“Yes, is okay” you manage to say and Ingrid smiles at you and proceeds to get you cleaned. 

After that, you feel Mapi get close to you and with no words needed, you get closer and cuddle on her chest as you feel Ingrid positioning herself behind and cuddling you too. 

You were about to fall asleep when you heard Mapi’s voice "We’ve been wanting to tell you something," she began, glancing at Ingrid for support.

Ingrid moves her position and gets herself in front of you, so you can see both of their faces nodded, her eyes meeting yours with sincerity. "We’ve both developed feelings for you," she confessed. "It’s something we’ve talked about for a while now, and we wanted you to know."

Your heart skipped a beat as you processed their words. Mapi continued, her grip on your shoulder tightening slightly. "We like you, and we want to be with you," she said. "If you feel the same way, we’d love to take you on a date, as soon as possible, especially after what happened tonight, we don’t want you to feel like this was just a one-time thing, for us is much more than that."

The warmth and sincerity in their eyes melted away any reservations you might have had. You felt a surge of emotions, surprise, joy, and an overwhelming sense of belonging. "I... I like you both too," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I’d love to go on a date with you both." 

A radiant smile spread across Mapi’s face, and Ingrid’s eyes sparkled with happiness. They both leaned in, enveloping you in a tight, affectionate hug. The three of you remained like that for a while. In the embrace of Mapi and Ingrid, you felt a sense of love and belonging that you had never experienced before, and you couldn’t wait to see where this new journey would take you.

MASTRLIST

[ysrjune]

scott monroe fucking you in his bathroom during family dinner

He knows that I love him, got him fucking me raw

I have a huge problem with taking lyrics from songs and making them titles 🙁 socks, ur so scrumptious for this request im gonna explode 😢

summary ✦ scotty getting a little 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 (sorry) during dinner.

You were currently speaking to Sam, your boyfriends twin, about planning something for his girlfriend over the summer because her birthday was around that time. Sam was throwing idea after idea at you, but you kept shutting them down because “you suck at making plans, Sam.” you giggled, and he scoffed. “Okay, so then why do you think im asking for help?” He responds and keeps babbling on. Scott, who was sitting next to you, had one hand on your thigh, and the other was gripping his fork so that he could eat whatever his parents made for dinner.

“Why don’t you just take her out to eat and then go out into the city to buy her stuff?” Scotty chimes in, covering his mouth while he talked and chewed at the same time. “Thats not thoughtful,” The boys’ mom interrupted. “Back when I was your age—”, “Mom, it's not the 1870’s anymore, I'm not gonna take her on like a carriage ride or something.” Sam mumbled a joke. “You're so mean.” Scott tells his brother with a smile. “Yes, you are.” Their father says and glances at his wife. “And wrong, too. Your mother was your age when the dinosaurs still existed.” Everyone laughed. You liked that Scotts family was able to joke around with each other like this.

about 20 minutes go by and you suddenly felt the need to go fix your hair. “I’ll be back.” You announced and stood up from your chair. Your cleavage was exposed right in front of Scotts face since he turned his head to slow after you said what you did. He glanced at your perfect tits and almost immediately felt his pants tighten. Obviously, he looked away quickly because his whole family was right in front of him, and if they saw him looking at you in such a way, he'd be so embarrassed and would want to die right on the spot.

You made your way to the downstairs bathroom to fix yourself up. A minute or two passed before you heard a quiet knock on the door. “What happened?” You asked Scott as soon as you saw it was him when you opened the door. “C'mere.” He turned the light off and led you upstairs to his room. He locked his room door and then led you to his bathroom and locked that doo, too. “Why are we here? And why did you lock the doors?”, “Because I dont need anyone walking in on me fucking you. Shit, baby. when you basically shoved your tits in my face, I got hard. Was so awkward for me cause Sam noticed how pink I got.” He mutters while removing the cute dress he bought you a few weeks ago. “Scotty, they're gonna find out..” you nervously say as he places you on the counter.

“I told them I needed to give you a gift. I said I was gonna tell you while you were in the bathroom and to come upstairs when you're done so I could give it to you.” Scott started to leave hickeys on your boobs and sucked on the soft buds of your nipples. His middle and ring finger traveled down to your soaked panties and pulled them aside to start fingering your puffy clit. “Always so damn wet for me, arent you, pretty girl.” Being with Scott meant you had to learn how to keep quiet when having sex. Or more like he taught you how to keep quiet. Either way, you needed to learn. Sooner or later, you were unbuckling his belt and undid the zipper of his pants and pulled his boxers down to reveal his pierced cock. You had forgotten about that. It's been a few weeks since you've done anything with him. Why? Because hes been so busy with family things. So have you, so there was never a good time to hangout.

Most times, phone sex was the solution, but be never face timed you because he never really thought about it. But here you are now, practically salivating at the sight of his pretty dick. “You gonna keep on staring or are you gonna let me ruin that pussy.” He whispers while looking into your eyes and slowly stroking himself. You look at him and only nod. Without warning, he inserted himself and was already thrusting in and out. “I missed you so God damn bad. I hated having to watch those videos we made instead of actually fucking you.” He talks while his speed picks up.

He let out a couple of moans in your ear since he's picked up the hint that you love when he lets out his pretty noises. he feels the same way about yours, but not when you're doing something so risky. he gets paranoid that everyone can hear, so thats why would had to keep silent. His eyes continued to watch himself slide in and out of your wet cunt. he enjoyed the slight noise of skin slapping against eachother and the way your pussy made the lewdest sounds when he started to pound into you. “scotty, ‘m gonna cum!” you whimper. “yeah? do it, then. show me how much you love me.” he talks you through your orgasm until he finally reached his as well.

he pants and watches the way his cum spilled out of your used hole with a smirk. he took his phone out and snapped a photo. “for later, yknow?” he kissed your soft lips.

It turns out he really did have a gift. A necklace with his name, and he had a matching one with yours. Before you left the room, you made sure you cleaned yourself up and made sure you still looked presentable. Nobody but Sam knew what happened.

“You're fucking nasty.” Sam tells his brother as if he hasnt done the same exact thing.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

@anakinstwinklebunny @anisangeldust @sockiess @erossmutt @rottencandyblood @radiantvader @catnipaddictt @haydensprettyprincess @freezerbride95 @starsfortaylor @maevesversion @emmaloo21 @starwarsbian @anakinsvault @torturedlovergirl @sammonroesslut 🌟

[cherryobx]

Turn up the music okay any fletcher song for rafe but these two together undrunk and bitter

Undrunk and Bitter

a/n: love both of these songs sm!

pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

summary: you and Rafe broke up but some feelings still linger

warnings: suggestive themes, language

wc: 1.4k

How long will it take for your feelings for someone to go away? How long does it take to stop loving someone? Even if that someone is so bad for you.

You and Rafe broke up almost a month ago and you feel like every day is worse than the last. At first it was easy. You cried, got all of your sadness and anger out of your body. But then arrived the longing and loneliness. 

You miss him. You miss waking up in the same bed, his arms around you. You miss going on dates with him. You miss him giving a ride on the back of his bike. The little things.

But the relationship between you ate you up inside. You loved him but also knew you deserved better. You deserved more. That’s why you broke up with him. It was probably the hardest decision of your life. Because where do you find the strength to let go of the person you love more than anyone else?

“I can’t watch you mope around anymore.” Your friend Grace sits at the edge of your bed where you’re currently lying, staring at the ceiling deep in thought.

“Top’s throwing a party tonight. We’re going.”

You know you don’t have the energy to go but you also don’t have the energy to argue with her. And that’s how you end up at Topper’s house a couple of hours later.

You know he’s here even though you haven’t spotted him yet. Rafe. You can feel it in your bones. 

“I’m gonna get a drink,” you tell Grace who’s engaged in a conversation with Kelce about who knows what and she dismisses you with a wave. 

You sigh and try to find your way to the kitchen. Passing the living room, you see Rafe on the couch with a pretty girl on his lap. His eyes meet yours for a second before someone addresses him and he turns his attention to them.

Yeah, you definitely need a drink now.

How is it so easy for him to move on? It makes you wonder how much you really meant for him. How much the relationship and later the break up affected him. Did you really mean so little to him?

You finally find the kitchen. The counters are filled with various types of alcohol ranging from light stuff to hard liquor. You head for the latter. You down shot after shot and soon enough you feel your head start slowly spinning and your worries floating away. It feels nice. It helps you forget about him for a second.

“Rough night?”

You turn around and some guy is leaning against the counter, a red solo cup in his hand.

“You could say that.” You give him, what must be, a sad smile.

“What’s got you drinking like that?” he asks as he scoots closer and takes a sip of his drink.

“Life.”

“Fair enough.” He laughs. “I’m Trevor.”

“To you, Trevor.” You salute him and take another shot, grimacing at the taste of vodka in your mouth. He offers his drink as a chaser and you happily take it and down that too.

You introduce yourself to him and the conversation starts flowing. The alcohol keeps flowing too. Soon enough his hands are everywhere at once and you’re making out in the secluded hallway.

It feels nice. You feel wanted again. You haven’t felt that way in a while and crave it more than anything. There’s a little voice in the back of your head that keeps nagging at you that it’s wrong to use someone to get over Rafe. But it feels so good and you can’t help but want more.

“Y/n.” You’d recognize that voice anywhere. Rafe.

You break away from Trevor and see him approaching. His fists are balled and even the way he walks indicates that he’s angry.

“Get the fuck away from her,” he snarls.

“But-”

“Step the fuck back!” 

Trevor backs up with his hands raised in defeat.

“Walk away.” Rafe instructs him and he doesn’t argue. So much for that.

“Are you okay?” he asks almost softly, his hands on your upper arms on both sides of your body.

You shove him away. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What the fuck is wrong with me? You’re the one hooking up with strangers in the fucking hallway.”

“So? You can swap spit with girls all night but I can’t do the same?”

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’? We broke up, Rafe. I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

“You’re drunk. You’re not thinking clearly. Let me take you home.” He takes a step closer but you take one simultaneously back.

“Fuck you. I’m thinking more clearly than I have in a while. Why can you move on but I can’t?”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m not moving on anywhere with anyone.”

“You’re trying to tell me you didn’t fuck that pretty thing before you came here? Nice try. I need space from you, Rafe.”

“First of all, I haven’t fucked anyone since we broke up. Second, I’m taking you home.”

“Yeah right. I don’t believe you. She was all over you.”

“Like that guy was all over you?”

You shut your mouth. “That’s none of your business.”

“It is. You’re still my business whether you like it or not. Now, you can come with me willingly or I will physically drag you out of here.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” You cross your arms on your chest and stand your ground, which in a literal sense is difficult because you’re too drunk for your own good.

“Stop being difficult.”

“No.”

He sighs before he makes a quick move of picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. You’re like a sack of flour. Absolutely helpless and pathetic.

“Put me down!” You hit his back with your fists but that does nothing to help. He’s unaffected.

“I’m gonna throw up all over you,” you threaten. It’s actually a real possibility due to the fact that your head is furiously spinning and you can’t make your left from your right.

“I don’t care.”

People stare at him weird as he carries you through the house, while you’re kicking and screaming, to the driveway where his car is parked.

Very surprisingly to everyone around Rafe, he’s sober tonight. He didn’t plan on staying sober but when he saw you enter Topper’s yard through the living room window his heart made the decision for him.

He drops you in the passenger seat and buckles you up before walking to the driver’s side and hopping into the seat. In the few seconds he was outside the car you managed to unbuckle your seatbelt but he pulls it across your body again and locks the doors so you can’t escape. 

“I hate you,” you snarl at him and cross your arms once again, angling your body towards the car door on your side.

“Don’t care.” He backs out of the driveway and starts driving towards your house.

You rest your head against the cool window of the car and stare at the passing scenery. 

“Why do you care so much?” you ask.

“What?” He looks at you for a second before turning his gaze back towards the road ahead of him.

“Why do you care?”

“About what?”

“About me. We broke up and here you are, taking me home after cockblocking me.”

He scoffs. “I can’t stop caring about you overnight, Y/N. That’s not how it works. And even if I wanted to I couldn’t.”

“You looked like you could. Plenty of girls throwing themselves at you. Take your pick.”

“I don’t want any of them.”

The rest of the ride passes in silence. He helps you out of the car, into your house and to your bedroom. He even tucks you under the covers. 

“Why don’t you want other girls? You can, you know.” 

He leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead which makes you instantly close your eyes for a moment of bliss. For a second, you’re thrown back in time when you were together and he used to kiss you goodnight every single night, even if it meant driving over from his place to yours to do so.

“I’m waiting.”

“For what?”

“For you to love me again.”

You open your mouth but no words come out.

“If you remember this in the morning, text me. We’ll talk.” With that he stands up, turns off the lights and leaves, softly closing the door after him.

[milla-frenchy]

And all that could have been

1k4 | Javier Peña x fem reader | ao3 | Masterlist

Summary: the memories of you don’t leave Javi, reminding him of his past mistakes

Warnings: 18+ mdni. Angst, piv, creampie, mentions of SA (not by Javi), no age specified. Pics for the mood only, reader has no specific physical descriptions. Writer chose not to use all warnings

a/n: this is for @janaispunk 1500 kisses challenge 🥳 Prompt was "last kiss/Javi p"

Thank you @toxicanonymity for the spanish translation 🖤 @aurorawritestoescape for beta-ing 💕 @morallyinept for your amazing Javi character database and dialogue 🌻 @saradika-graphics for the dividers 🙏

The title and some sentences said by Javi are from And all that could have been by Nine inch nails

Javi was at his apartment with Helena. She was a hooker and one of his informers, but she meant more than that. He cared about her, and they saw each other regularly at his place.

“¿Qué harás este fin de semana?” (what are you doing this weekend?), he asked her.

“Iré a Medellín” (I’m going to Medellin)

“Bueno, tendré que buscarme otra” (I guess I’ll have to find another girl)

“Buena suerte con eso. Todas nos vamos a Medellín” (good luck with that. We’re all going to Medellin)

His heart sank and worry crept into him. Sensing a very familiar feeling, which had never left him since last year.

“¿Helena? ¿De quién es esta fiesta?” (whose party is it?)

Anxiety took over him, past events playing over and over in his head. Haunting him. And he thought about what happened a year ago. What happened to you.

You didn't plan for any of that. Neither Javi nor you did.

At first, he was a client almost like the others, except that he worked for the DEA, and bit by bit he asked you for information on the sicarios. He always treated you right, never made you feel uncomfortable. You had other clients and you weren’t the only hooker he used to fuck.

You got to know him and trust him as the weeks passed, as he also seemed to, until you realized that he was no longer fucking anyone but you. You used to see him in his apartment more and more often, and less and less at the brothel. When his cock was buried in your core and his eyes looked with yours, his gaze was different. Soft and caring.

One night at his place he lit a cigarette and was smoking it by the window. Looking thoughtfully at the city lights as you were lying in bed, naked, admiring all of him. The muscles of his back, his shoulders, his tanned skin.

When he sat on the bed, his thigh against yours, his hand caressed your stomach which was gradually returning to normal breathing. 

“¿Por qué no paras?” (Why don’t you stop?), he asked.

It wasn't exactly jealousy or possessiveness, more of a concern. You both knew what that implied. You had always been careful not to talk about those feelings you both felt. Scared that it would complicate everything.

He used to try to make you stay at his apartment longer and longer, but of course you always had to return to the brothel. To make some money. To have sex with the men you hated and who disgusted you. Trying to make it bearable you were thinking of something else. You were thinking of Javi.

“Renuncia a tu trabajo” (quit your job),” he finally asked one day.

“No puedo, Javi” (I can’t, Javi)

The more weeks and months with Javi passed, the less you could bear to go back to the brothel. But what other choices did you have? Tears threatened to roll down your cheeks and you batted your eyelashes to try to hold them back.

“You could stay here, with me. You don’t need to go back.”

“You know I can’t. They would find me, and God knows what they would do to me.”

“I’ll protect you. You know I would never let anything happen to you.”

You hugged him as the tears fell, unable to hold them back any longer. You wanted to quit your job and stay with him, but it was impossible. They made sure to let you know what happened to the girls who tried to leave.

“Necesito sentirte dentro. Porfa, Javi.” (I need to feel you inside me, Javi. Please.)

He caressed your cheek and wiped your tears like only he knew how to do. He kissed you with his warm, luscious, caring lips. Soft and delicate. When he lay between your legs you wrapped them around his waist to feel him deeper. His nose brushed against yours, and he kissed your forehead. Your hips were leading a perfect slow dance. He rubbed himself against you in the way he was sure would make you cum. His eyes fixed on yours. The eyes of a man in love, and you started to cry again.

“Don’t cry, hermosa (beautiful). I’ll take care of you and you’ll never have to go back there. Do you trust me?”

You trusted him. With all your heart. You wiped your tears and took his cheeks in your hands.

“I do, Javi.”

He leaned towards you and kissed you, until you came on his shaft, your pussy squeezing him perfectly and making him moan, and you felt his jolts at each rope of cum, painting your walls.

You didn't go back, he took you to a safe house. He exfiltrated you.

And for several days, you only saw Javi.

That evening you laughed and the atmosphere was as light as a summer breeze. You looked at each other smiling like teenagers, and he kissed your hands. Then he held you tight against him. You felt safe and free.

Later that night, as your hips rolled while riding him, you leaned into him and said, “dame un beso” (give me a kiss).

He caressed your cheek as your hands ran through his hair and you kissed. You needed to feel him more. Deeper. You moved away from him and got on all fours, looking over your shoulder as his hands caressed your hips. He slipped into you, in one slow, deep thrust. No one had ever brushed your walls the way he did. Without brutality, without clumsiness, without impatience, without hurting you. Just in a perfect way, like he always knew what to do. Stroking your clit when you needed it, until you came on his cock. His torso enveloped your back and he kissed your skin, before quickly thrusting in to claim you, grunting. 

You just knew that you belonged to each other, in the healthiest, most beautiful way.

In the early morning, he kissed your forehead and lightly stroked your cheek to not wake you up, and left for the office.

In the afternoon, you heard a knock on the door, and thought Javi had forgotten his keys. Your hand grabbed the handle of the white door and you opened it without taking the time to think.

It wasn't Javi.

In the late afternoon, his colleagues told him that a hooker had been killed by sicarios. His heart sank and he almost puked, as if his gut instinctively knew who he would find there. When they lifted the sheet, he fell to his knees on the ground.

Your mutilated and bruised body lying on its back left no doubt about what you had suffered. What they had done to you.

He went back to his apartment and drank until he couldn't remember his name.

A few days later, he visited your grave and placed white flowers on it.

He thought about how he had kissed your forehead that morning. Not knowing that it would have been the last kiss he had ever given you.

“In my nothing, you meant everything to me”, he murmured.

When the memories finally faded, he realized Helena had already left his apartment.

During the following days he had been organizing surveillance in Medellin, with Carillo and Steve. Taking photos, watching the Sicarios arriving one by one at the hotel.

Hours passed without news of Helena, and worry tightened his heart. He couldn't relive that. He was consumed with anxiety.

When he finally found her, he shot the man who was abusing her. Rushed to cover her bruised body. He failed once again, even though he arrived in time for Helena, he wasn’t able to prevent what had happened to her. 

He thought of you, not a day he had not. He thought of all that could have been.

When he visited your grave, and saw that only his last faded bouquet was there, he couldn't hold back his tears.

“I can still feel you, even so far away” he breathed. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry…”

And he chose to let his anger consume him, rather than letting the tears flow. On his knees in the cemetery, he screamed. He was clenching his fists so hard that his knuckles were white.

He would dedicate his life to bringing them all down. Even if it meant falling with them. But one thing was sure: Gacha would fall before him.

***********

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated ❤️

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@littlemisspascal @pascalsanctuary @survivingandenduring

[iris-qt]

𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜

⭒ ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

⭒ ʙɢ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ: ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ!

⭒ ɢʀᴜᴍᴘʏ x ꜱᴜɴꜱʜɪɴᴇ | 2.4ᴋ

⭒ ᴀ/ɴ: ʙᴀꜱᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʟᴏᴠᴇʟʏ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛ, ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ ɪɴꜱᴘɪʀɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ

⭒ ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ ʜᴀꜱ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴ ᴄᴏᴄᴋʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪɴᴅ ʀᴀᴠᴇɴᴄʟᴀᴡ. ʜᴇ'ꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴜɴꜰᴀᴍɪʟᴀʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ, ɪɴ ꜰᴀᴄᴛ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄᴇᴅ ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴜꜱᴇᴅ ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴘᴏᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴡɪɴ ʜɪᴍ ᴏᴠᴇʀ. ʙᴏʏ ɪꜱ ʜᴇ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ..

“Speak no further, Nott. Ravenclaw tower at 9 and that's that.”

Fuck.

Astronomy was quite a time-consuming class, but Theodore Nott would do anything for the credits. Even if it meant partaking in various group projects. It played out in a similar way each time: he’d get partnered with some blithering imbecile and do all the work. Or, worst case scenario, he’d get partnered with some pining girl and have to hide in the deepest corners of the library to avoid their presence which consisted of blabbering on about Merlin knows what. The topic always consisted of everything BUT the task at hand, and Theo would be forced to nod at the appropriate times while doing the project for the both of them. 

He wouldn’t let anyone ruin his A grade streak.

The only person he could trust was himself.

Until you waltzed in, threatening to ruin it all with a bright smile and brisk walk. 

Infuriating.

Sure, you were smart. Possibly smarter than him, although he’d never admit it, but he hated…no despised working with another person. There were always conflicting methods and ideas which ultimately led to Theodore not getting what he wanted. And what Theo wanted was to ace this project with his own ideas. Difficult to do with a headstrong ravenclaw butting her head in. And so, when the partners were ordered to begin planning, he strode up to you, resolved with his stubborn ideals.

“Hello.”

“Hi, Theod-”

“I’ve got this, don’t worry. Just put your name on the final paper when I’m done.”

You raise your eyebrow, smirking up at the crazy boy. How dare he assume you’d easily give in to such blasphemy. You worked hard for the grades you got and this wasn’t an exception.

“Nice try, but you’re not getting rid of me,” you stand up, scooping up your Astronomy textbook in your arms. 

“But-”

“Speak no further, Nott. Ravenclaw tower at 9 and that's that,” you smile deviously, walking away, leaving Theodore scrambling to think of a way to shake you off. 

Perhaps if he pissed you off…

But how could he do that?

After consulting with the king of pissing people off, also known as Mattheo Riddle, his task was clear. He walked up the long flight of stairs leading to the Ravenclaw common room with a devilish smirk on his face.

You were waiting right outside the common room drowning under the weight of multiple star charts and apparatuses. As you heard his footsteps, you exclaimed, “You actually showed up!”

He scoffs, relieving you of some of the equipment you were holding; the pile so high it hid your face. He took most of the burden, revealing your beaming smile. 

“Don’t make me change my mind, Y/L/N,” he looked around. “Why didn’t we just meet at the Astronomy Tower?”

Your eyes light up as if you’d been waiting for him to ask that question. 

“Literally everyone and their mum are at the Astronomy tower right now doing the project.” 

Theo frowned at that as the prospect of being amongst even more people did not entice him in the slightest. Noting his scowl, you laughed. 

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, Nott. I know a place.”

He grumbled at your demeaning statement but he couldn’t ignore the way shooting stars began ricocheting around his heart at your words. He followed you into the Ravenclaw common room, in awe of the bronze accents amongst the deep blue waves of gleaming drapes and chairs. The ceiling was made up of moving star charts and planets, making their way around their orbits. Truthfully, this was the most breathtaking common room Theodore Nott had ever set foot in.

You led them to a balcony opening up from the common room, and it contained a giant table, lanterns, and a gleaming silver telescope. He couldn’t help but think the other three houses got the shorter end of the stick, although that may just be because Nott has always been enamored with the stars. Plus, the deep azure blue spread across the ravenclaw common room just happened to be his favorite color.

You set everything down and began to set up, spreading everything out on the table with precise precision. Theodore placed a compass caliper on the table slightly crooked and you gently pushed it into a straight position. He raised his eyebrow, amused at your antics.

“You know we’re just gonna pick that up in a few minutes, right?”

“It’s good to be organized, Nott.”

“Please, I’ve seen all the crumpled parchment in your bag.”

You smiled sheepishly, looking up at him, “That’s called an organized mess.”

“Whatever you say, love-,” and his eyes widened as he realized what he said, panic blooming in them. “Love-leyyy weather we’re having today?” he grinned quite maniacally.

Lightning struck the distant rolling hills visible from the balcony as you shot a smirk at Theo.

“Quite.”

Reaching up to mess up his hair, you moved to the telescope to start setting it up, leaving Theodore wildly blushing, not wanting to reach up and fix his messy hair caused by your touch.

Did he smoke one of Mattheo’s “special” cigs today? Perhaps the stress of this project was leading him off the rails. It’ll pass by tomorrow…

Nonetheless, his plan to piss you off consisted of simply not helping at all until you got mad and quit.

He abandoned that when he saw that your ideas and methods not only aligned with his, but improved upon them.

The rest of the night was spent charting the pattern of the aligning planets and measuring their orbital distances. Awkward glances and light touches were scattered throughout this process as Theodore realized he was entering uncharted territory with you.

At one point, you both attempted to reach for a graphite pencil at the same time, hands touching, and Theodore had an awkward fit as he flung his hand away so quickly it nearly knocked over the telescope.

“Never felt the touch of a woman, Theodore?” you teased him, grinning and finding joy in his odd behavior.

At another moment, he was stuck staring at your furrowed brow and focused expression as you were doing some complicated trigonometric calculations. It’s as if he were hypnotized by your lips softly mouthing the numbers corresponding with your mathematical work. The way you had to fix a lock of hair every few seconds when it fell in your face…

He reached out and tucked that piece of hair behind your ear in a way that would prevent it from falling again.

Tearing yourself from your math, you shoot him the brightest smile.

Brighter than the cosmos visible in the dark heavens above.

He quickly looks the other way, walking off and standing in the farthest corner of the balcony. As far as he can from that evil witch.

She had hexed him.

He was sure of it.

They wrapped up a bit past midnight and agreed to meet at the same place the next night to continue working on the time consuming project …

“I’m telling you, she’s using dark magic or something!” Theo throws up his hands, pacing around the slytherin common room, ranting to Mattheo.

He began muttering to himself, rubbing his face, lost in thought about what you were doing to him. Riddle watches Theo, thoroughly amused. In their whole lifetime of knowing each other, Mattheo had never seen Theodore this worked up about something…especially someone.

It didn’t take a genius to realize Theodore was down bad, and Mattheo intended to do something about it.

“You know, I’ve caught a couple girls tryna spike my drinks with love potion…”

“AH-HA!” Theo points at Riddle maniacally. “SHE SPIKED MY DRINK. Probably my water bottle since it was just sitting on my Astronomy desk.”

Mattheo smirks, “And what’re you gonna do about it?”

“Confront her, of course. Put an end to this nonsense.”

Mattheo grinned, his intended plan coming to fruition.

“Go get ‘em Theo.”

That night, Theo met you again right outside the common room and followed you to the balcony, still stressing about how he’d bring this up with you. 

You started laying out a 150 pack of markers and colored pencils along with 3 different bottles of glitter on the massive oak table, putting your hands on your hips after unloading the myriad of art supplies. 

Theo looks horrified as he begins to doubt the respect he had built up for you in the past day. 

“Are we bedazzling the star chart?”

“No, Nott, we’re making the best poster Professor Sinistra will ever lay eyes on,” you smile, huffing happily.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about the poster,” he leans against the table, looking curiously at you.

Sure you were smart, but how did you brew a love potion from scratch? It was one of the most difficult potions to brew. Perhaps you bought it, although you weren’t rich. Love potions cost quite the amount of galleons. Especially ones this strong. It seemed to be so strong that the idea of you going out of your way to brew a love potion or spend such a pretty penny on it flattered him to no end.

Lost in his reverie, he was spooked as you approached him, leaning over him, supposedly trying to kiss him?

KISS HIM?

Theo enters lockdown mode as his eyes widen to the size of the moon in the ink black sky. He  doesn't know how to react to your sudden move, so he closes his eyes and slightly parts his lips, awaiting your own. He buzzes with ecstasy, realizing he wants this more than anything. Want? 

No.

He needs to feel your lips on his own.

Instead, he hears the loveliest little laugh and a gentle “boop” on his nose. He opens his eyes, bewildered, and realizes you had simply leaned over to grab a protractor from the table he was blocking.

“Spaced out there, huh Nott?” and you collapse into a fit of laughter. “Get it? SPACED out? Because, you know, space.” She points to the night sky. 

He responds with a dazed, furiously blushing expression.

“Just me? Ok,” you sigh dramatically as you move over to start creating the informational poster.

This was it. 

Confrontation time.

Her evil antics had gone too far, and, as warm as the feeling felt, he was ready to dispose of this funny, breathtaking, witty, heavenly project partner. His maddening astronomy partner that had him seeing stars. He huffed angrily as he cleared his throat, grabbing your attention.

“I know what you’re doing.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Our..project?”

“No, I know what you did to me.”

You cross your arms, smirking, wondering if this was his weird, socially awkward, very Theo way of confessing. You weren’t emotionally blind, it was obvious this boy was so down bad. But you couldn’t judge. So were you. Perhaps for longer than he had ever been.

“And what did I do to you?”

He scoffs, “Don’t play dumb.”

“Impossible for a genius to play dumb,” you grin.

He squints his eyes at you, heaving a sigh, “You spiked my water with a love potion.”

There was a moment of silence between you two as you registered his bizarre claim and burst into laughter. Theodore must have truly lost his mind.

“And where would I get my hands on that, Theo?”

He looked offended at your laughter and glared at you, fully convinced there was foul play involved in whatever feelings were brewing in his heart. 

“Listen, I know you did something. Just tell me.”

You smirk, moving closer to him, eyes averting down to an unbuttoned button on his shirt.  Fixing it, you glance up, speaking softly, “What is it you feel, Theodore.”

He felt a lot of things at that moment. He felt as if you were the most ethereal sight in the world. The dramatic lighting of the candles highlighting your face in every right angle. He felt as if he could implode at that moment; the redness of his face causing a cataclysmic supernova of his very soul. He felt as if he could stare into your eyes forever, sinful thoughts arising at the cocky look on your face as you peered up at him. So many thoughts in his head, and ever since the previous night, each and every thought, the ones in the forefront of his mind and the back, had consisted of you. 

He subconsciously moves closer, finally letting his gut feeling have a say. Finally listening to his heart over his head, and his heart told him that what he felt for you could not be replicated by any curse, hex, or potion. It was real and pure. It was foreign but as sweet as the nightbird’s song. As radiant as a galaxy far far away. 

But you weren’t far far away, you were right in front of him.

And maybe he’d get that kiss now.

He leaned down as you tilted your jaw to perfectly capture his lips in a passionate kiss, hands in his hair, his on your neck. 

Making out with Theodore Nott while you were supposed to be glitter bombing the hell out of your guys’ project was not on your agenda, but you’d easily make room for it anytime anywhere. 

It was everything you dreamed it would be.

Pulling apart from the kiss of your dreams felt like being launched light years away from him, but in reality he was standing right there, breathing heavily, his lips swollen and pink.

He quickly looked away, fidgeting anxiously, “That…that's what I feel.”

“Definition of actions speak louder than words,” you laughed, taking his hand in yours.

He smiled at you, heart racing a million beats per second. 

“That was no love potion,” he laughed, tucking your hair behind your ear once more as his hand laid to rest gently on your chin, tilting it up.

“No, it was just my raw charisma, Theodore.”

He laughed, shaking his head. His laugh was a sound you hadn’t fully captured, and now that you had, you never wanted him to stop.

Theo learned about a lot more than planet alignment during this project. He learned that you were an amazing kisser.

And hey, maybe team projects weren't so bad after all.

[stevesjockstrap]

During Pride Month

@stcreators event 09: Pride

@steddiesongfics June: Blondie - Heart of Glass

Steve/Eddie • rated T • mentioned Robin/Vickie and Argyle/Nancy/Jonathan • alcohol, getting together, idiots to lovers • read on ao3

It was a wonder Eddie even hung out with this group anymore, honestly. It was usually entertaining at the very least, but he was starting to question his life choices. Their normal bar had been hosting Pride month events, which wasn’t the issue, Robin had lead their team to victory during a trivia night and Eddie and Steve had won the Newlywed game last week. They hadn’t told him tonight was karaoke, though. The later it got, the more the bar had steadily filled up and the performers turned to either pretty decent singers or at least those who knew they were drunk and off key enough to encourage the heckling from their friends and the crowd.

Sinking into his buzz enough to consider staying now, he looked around their booth. Robin and Vickie were cuddled up in one corner and Nancy was sandwiched in between Argyle and Jonathan.

Steve always drove Eddie crazy on their nights out. Either utilizing his scary dog privileges when he didn’t want any attention, sitting under Eddie’s arm all night and dragging him to the dance floor to plaster himself to his front. Worse were the nights when he did want the attention, flitting enthusiastically between whoever struck his fancy around the bar. Robin would send him sly looks on those nights, knowing where Eddie would rather have him, but since they weren’t actually together Eddie couldn’t keep him on the stool next to his.

So when Steve disappeared, Eddie tried not to let it bother him and instead lined up the shots for the table, keeping his eyes down and making himself not search out the gorgeous mop of hair. To who was touching or looking at him.

Until the next song started and the amplified voice drew all their attention to the stage. The sassy walk across the stage to send their far table a look made Eddie gasp and Robin yell out. Jon chuckled from next to him.

“Once I had a love and it was a gas

Soon turned out had a heart of glass.”

Steve usually stuck to Springsteen, safe power ballads or dramatic duets with Robin when they felt extra goofy. Nothing like this. Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away from him, not looking at all at the screen for the words, putting much more emotion into the song.

Eddie clinked his shot quickly with his friends’ then tapped it on the table before finally breaking eye contact with Steve as he threw it back.

“What I find is pleasing and I’m feeling fine

Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind

If I fear I’m losing you it’s just no good

You teasing like you do.”

“Fuck,” he breathed as the alcohol burned its way down, Steve winked at him and one handedly pulled his shirt over his head revealing a tight tank top.

“Maybe this’ll finally get his attention,” Vickie stage whispered to Robin who quickly shushed her, both of them dissolving into hysterical laughter.

Eddie didn’t know what that meant, but immediately directed his gaze back to the crooning man on the stage.

“Once I had a love and it was a gas

Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass.”

“Hey, does he mean me?” Nancy huffed and Jonathan coughed into his beer, but Eddie ignored them, too.

Standing, he walked closer to the stage, getting a thrill as Steve’s eyes followed him as he sang, paying no attention to the other patrons who were definitely taking interest. Steve wouldn’t be leaving with anyone else tonight if he could help it.

As the last chords died out from the song, Steve couldn't hold back the smirk twitching on his lips watching Eddie approach the steps to the stage.

The polite clapping from the crowd crescendoed as he opened his arms for Steve and instead of taking the steps, jumped from the stage and wrapped his legs around Eddie. With a small ‘oof,’ he caught him around the waist and met his open mouthed kiss. The rest of the bar joined their table in their screaming but Eddie was focused on Steve.

“Took you dinguses long enough!” Robin screamed over the noise when they broke apart and Eddie had to kiss the somehow shy smile from his lips.

Maybe karaoke hadn’t been so bad after all.

Many thanks and kisses to @lawrencebshoggoth for like this entire prompt and song choice 😘🖤

Pride stars divider by @steddiecameraroll-graphics 🤩

[chronicsyd]

the way i gotta be defending Caitlyn and Vi out here sometimes is Fucking Ridiculous! and the culprits bashing them are almost Always Jinx stans with ABSOLUTELY ZERO MEDIA LITERACY SKILLS to the point where I question if you even paid attention to what the show was Trying to tell you.

For Example:

NO, Caitlyn did not "brainwash" Vi; Caitlyn saved Vi's ass by letting her out of Stillwater in the First place, stays with her after being stabbed and traded her (probably) custom made rifle for the ailment to save Vi's life because she's a good person. Any other Enforcer would have probably left Vi to bleed to death for running off in the first place (if any other Enforcer were crazy enough to let Vi's ass out of Stillwater to begin with) Vi likes Caitlyn because she's good natured despite growing up with literally All the privilege in the world

With her marksman skills, Caitlyn could have Easily put a bullet in Sevika's head, but she doesn't. she aims for the shimmer device powering her arm, using a non-lethal way of taking her out (unlike a certain Other blue haired fanatic)

Caitlyn wants the cycle of violence to stop. she makes her objectives Very clear: Locate Jinx, Dismantle Shimmer, Neutralize anyone still loyal to Silco. with the grief over her mom she could have said she wanted to kill Jinx, but she doesn't. Neutralizing people still loyal to Silco, who mind you are still HORRIBLE people who, Like Silco have taken advantage of struggling people for power. and by dismantling Shimmer she's actually helping Zaun to recover from SILCO'S oppression and exploitation of them (remember people like Husk? the Children in Silco's shimmer facilities?).

NO Caitlyn did not maliciously interrupt Vi and Jinx's reunion in episode 6. Yes she and Vi did see the blue smoke but it's Very evident that Vi didn't tell Caitlyn what the hell it meant and just took off, and because she's faster than Caitlyn, Caitlyn spent the minute (or longer) of Vi and Jinx's reunion just catching up to her. she only looks up and see's the pair when she runs up the steps and stops, but Jinx had already heard her at that point and looked over, not giving Caitlyn enough time to make herself scarce before pulling out her machine gun. Vi Also didn't tell Caitlyn that Jinx works for Silco, despite having known that fact since her fight with Sevika.

Caitlyn didn't Force Ekko into agreeing with her. She even Says, "You'd be well within your rights to keep it, I wouldn't blame you." She offers a perspective that could help Both Piltover and the Undercity and Ekko trusts her on the condition that he's the one that gives the gemstone to the council (That is until Marcus and Jinx get in the way)

Caitlyn Tries to go about getting peace diplomatically, she doesn't manipulate the councilors into doing anything (despite them all being manipulative assholes themselves)

Manipulate: "control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously." JINX is the one that does this when she kidnaps Caitlyn and Vi and forces Vi to shoot Caitlyn.

Caitlyn did not choose to be born into her family's power and wealth, and that's not something you can blame her for. was she ignorant to what people in the undercity have faced? Yes but that's because she's been cooped up her entire life, surround by people with prejudice towards the Undercity and never set foot into the undercity until she was with Vi, you can't blame her for that either.

Vi was a 15 year old CHILD who saw her adoptive family die right in front of her eyes. she was exhausted and overwhelmed by her situation. and her younger sister (who she had told to stay) had said she was basically responsible for it, Vi's known to lash out when she's upset and angry. and when her brain catches up to what she did, she's horrified and leaves to calm down and not to do Anything else drastic. but when she tries to go back when Silco shows up, Marucs kidnaps her. hating Vi for this is stupid.

"Vi runs back to Caitlyn when she left to go find her sister!" Vi heard a Gunshot and saw that Caitlyn was being held at Gunpoint. Vi had NO IDEA that Jinx was even watching the entire interaction go down, the shocked look in her eyes when she picks Caitlyn up off the ground is evidence enough of that.

NO Vi isn't selfish for not wanting to shoot Caitlyn. for one, being asked to shoot someone is ludicrous enough but Vi IS allowed to care about other people, which is why she proposes that the two leave as a substitute to what Jinx is asking of her. yes leave Cait behind, but she wouldn't be Dead (you'd think that Vi's seen Enough people she cares about in her life being dead but according to Jinx stans, Apparently Not!)

Being upset at Vi in S2 is Ludicrous because we have Zero context for Any of these scenes that we have gotten. we don't know Any of the specifics of her becoming an Enforcer, why she's saying "my sister is gone.", why she's fighting Jinx, ANY of it. Geez.

(See, this is why we need the "Why is the curtain blue?" discussions because apparently some of y'all don't know how to think. And No, I'm not just bashing Jinx's character, I actually really like Jinx's character but her fans are some of the most annoying people to interact with sometimes...)

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

I'm not the person who asked but 👁👁 may I inquire as to the spoilery season 5 problems

Understand that everything I'm about the say Under the Cut, comes from a place of bias. Bias that truly does love the Juno Steel storyline, bias that absolutely hates the plot direction Kabert took with the last two seasons

Slip Jackson. He is the plothole they wrote, the corner Kabert backed themselves into and had to write themselves out of. The one NO ONE ASKED FOR but they wrote in anyways to explain "this is what happened After Nureyev saved NK and killed Mag". I cannot stress enough how pissed off and annoyed Slappery Junkyard makes me from a plot standpoint.

Too many plot devices disguised as characters. Every other episode the listener and Juno is introduced to someone new. And every other episode they are forgotten about and we move on to the next. This is the equivalent I feel to early TMA and early WTNV monster of the week and even early TPP where Juno is solving one case after the next-

Only this time Juno's chasing after Nureyev across the fucking galaxy. I love Juno with all my heart, but it still is super annoying that all of season 5 is spent of him chasing after Nureyev, getting tripped up, chasing after Nureyev, getting tripped up, wash rinse repeat. Especially more annoying and upsetting when you factor in that Nureyev blatantly does not want to be followed (but me and every other listener is a fucking sucker for a hopeful fool and dramatic love story. If this happened to someone you actually knew, you wouldn't encourage or condone Juno's behavior, but because the Lady isn't real and it's all a work of fiction and Juno is the Hero, ofc we're all cheering him on)

Grandpappy's recipe. We're given a hint of worldbuilding to the rest of the galaxy, and Juno shows some appreciation towards Rita, but it is not her storyline. It is not Rita-centric. And the depiction of Nureyev in these couple of episodes (i don't know how anyone else felt) came so far out of left field for me, that I almost didn't believe what Juno and Rita were saying about him. Something along the lines of Nureyev is a con, and he sweet talks and seduces all of his targets into falling for him, before ultimately turning on them and stealing from their pockets. The Homme Fatale thing gets really pushed, and it's like everything discussed in Man in Glass never happened.

The amazing moment in Heart of it All when he reminds Buddy "a legend is a dead thing" (and by extension the discussion he had with her in Man in Glass) might as well never fucking happened. Peter goes the entirety of season 5 with his head so far up his own ass, he can't see past his own bullshit, until it's literally 10 minutes too late.

Nureyev is deliberately rude towards Juno (who did cross a boundary MULTIPLE TIMES) but is also extremely fucking dismissive of the Ruby7 being anything but a car (it's not, it's an alien from outside of this galaxy and Nureyev cannot accept that for some reason, but he can totally get behind reviving his long lost first love???)

OH AND RITA!!! POOR POOR FUCKING RITA OMG- Juno is a massive fuckin dick to her in Season 1, he promises to do better for her at end of Season 2, and she is the first Aurinko he rescues in Season 4 because he knows without her he won't be of much use. Rita is supposed to be Juno's backbone, but she's more like the brace he wears when he needs it. The Rita episode in Season 3 is framed as a good thing for her character and meant to be a confidence boost, but it's really not. And Season 4 I don't remember, but literally in Season 5 Rita is sidelined and put over on the bench because she "makes too many mistakes" on missions. Juno dresses it up as "You're our ace in the hole" but cmon. Come the fuck on.

[taesancore]

the playlist i never sent

woonhak x f!reader

(𝐈𝐈𝐈) So let’s go see the stars

a/n: so pt.3 took mUch longer than i thought it would-and its not the final part either😭, anyways this one’s a little longer than usual so i hope yall like it!!

🧸.ᐟ series masterlist ❕

🧸.ᐟ genre: f2l, (idiots to lovers🤡), angstfest in this part

🧸.ᐟ warnings: angst, depictions of anxiety and similar symptoms, crying, rich people setting, kind of an emotionally insensitive mother :/, mentions of enhypen’s ni-ki, riize’s anton, seventeen’s jeonghan and dino, lmk if there are more!!

wc: 4981, lowercase intended.

“heyyy rikiii !!” you said brightly as you walked into art class. “what do you want” came the weary of your classmate and partner during art class, nishimura riki. he continued to stare at you suspiciously as you shot him a huge smile, unlike your usual snarky remarks that were a part of your usual banter. but you had to admit, you two made the best duo in art class whenever projects were assigned.

“so are you free this week” you blurted out, watching his expression turn confused.

“no…but why?” he asked. welp.

“nothing really!” you replied in that same cheery voice as you sat down next to him.

“…you’re being weird today” he eyed you as your teacher walked in.

you ignored him, furiously working your mind and thinking of other ways. riki wasn’t an option now…who else was there?

“something’s up isn’t it? tell meee” riki whined as you shushed him.

“…need a date for a business party this week” you muttered, wincing as you

“just ask woonhak” he replied as you huffed.

“he has a date on that day—“

“eh??”

you blinked at his startled exclamation.

“are you sure? but that makes no sense…” riki mumbled. he was positive that the younger boy was madly in love with you, so how on earth was he ready to go on a date with someone who wasn’t you??

you sighed.

“well it’s true so he’s out of the question…do you have anyone who’s willing to accompany me? i’ll even pay if they want!”

“you need a date?? for what?” came a voice from behind you as you jumped.

out of all the people, why did it have to be han jihoon??

“yo woonhak has a date?? who the fuck??” riki questioned jihoon before you could say anything.

“he WHAT??” jihoon squawked, making all the heads in the class turn towards him. mrs. moon sent him a little glare as she continued to silently observe the students, while jihoon muttered an apology.

“woonhak said yes?? to seowon??” he whisper yelled as riki shrugged.

“that’s what y/n said”

“is it true?” he asked you, wide eyed. you nodded as jihoon smacked his forehead.

“wait then why do you need a date? is it a double date?” jihoon questioned further, still unable to fathom the new bit of information he received. just why on earth would woonhak say yes to seowon??

“ah um…did i say date? i meant hate!! yeah i reallly hate riki you know? haha” you laughed, shoving an offended riki beside you as jihoon looked at the two of you with a skeptical gaze.

“that was a pathetic excuse you know” jihoon said bluntly as riki snorted. luckily the bell rang loudly at that moment, saving your sorry ass from replying to jihoon and defending yourself. you squeaked out a quick “goodbye!” before dashing out of the classroom, desperate to avoid any further encounters with him.

phew. god saved you with that one.

꒰ 💭 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

“still didn’t find anyone?” eunchae asked softly as you two stood in line for lunch. you spent almost the entire day carefully observing your classmates to see whom you could ask. but then it would be weird to straight up go ask any of them to be your date…after all they were just your classmates!

the mere thought of walking up and asking hanjin, or maki or any of your classmates, most of whom you’ve known since elementary and middle school made you cringe, that would remain as an awkward memory forever and that was the last thing you needed amidst all the current drama.

“why just why do i end up doing these kind of things?? even my mom thinks i’ve got a boyfriend now!!” you lamented as eunchae stifled a giggle, remembering yesterday’s events that you had filled her in with the minute you entered school today.

“did i hear that right? have you really got a boyfriend now y/n?” of course your mom had to hear that. she strode towards you with a confused stare as you tried your best to mask your panic.

“that’s right mom, i figured i’d reveal him at the party itself…” you said, words flowing out of you automatically. was this how liars lied so easily? you could become a pro at this rate.

your mom did something unexpected, she beamed at you as eunbin scowled. “that’s great sweetie! i can’t wait to meet him now!” she said as you gaped at her.

now you really needed to find a date—no boyfriend.

“i think i’ll just go dateless chae” you sighed, placing an apple on your tray as the line moved forward. “and let that greaseball eunbin annoy you further? hell no” eunchae scoffed, making you wince at the thought of his smug face if you walked in dateless.

“if only you didn’t go ahead with your plan, woonhak would’ve been your date but noooo you martyred yourself!!” eunchae scolded you for the nth time, and for the first time you found yourself doubting your actions.

but martyring yourself was the best option in this case…he’d be happy with seowon.

“speaking of woonhak, i haven’t seen him all day?” eunchae wondered, missing your guilty expression that took over your face. truth was, you had been avoiding him ever since the seowon incident in the corridor as you had no idea to act around him now.

seowon being around him most of the time made it pretty easy for you, but when she wasn’t, you found yourself hiding behind walls and turning in the opposite direction whenever you saw him nearby.

you wanted to be normal truly…but now that him and seowon were making progress, you had to find a way to keep the green monster inside you at bay…even if it meant ignoring your best friend.

“woonhak? i bet he’s with seowon again, that girl can’t leave him alone to save her life” came the voice of haerin as she joined the queue.

“y/n weren’t you looking for a date?? i know someone who might be of help” she added as you perked up at this information. looks like the world didn’t hate you after all.

꒰ 💭 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

“yah kim woonhak!!” hollered jihoon the minute he found his friend in the class.

“what the blazes were you thinking? you’re really going on a date with seowon??” he cried as woonhak looked away.

“she might be the dove girl jihoon…i don’t know” woonhak said half heartedly.

“and what about y/n?”

“what about her? she doesn’t like me anyways and you know that!” woonhak snapped, startling the boy next to him.

“i know okay? i know…i like her, fuck i like her so much it hurts, i wish she was the one in the mask that night, things would’ve been easier but what can i do? she’d never see me the same”

jihoon could only watch sadly as his friend hung his head low, clearly overwhelmed with the entire ordeal. clearly this was not the best time to break the news of you having a date to him as a moody and jealous woonhak was not a combination he was ready to deal with at the moment at all.

꒰ 💭 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

“have you found a date yet?” mr. yoon asked you that evening as you went home from school.

“i think? i’m yet to text him though” you murmured, scrolling through the profile haerin had sent to you.

“i’m still surprised that woonhak has a date, that kid is literally in love with you” jeonghan mused as you scoffed.

you: hi is this taesan?

han taesan: yes, are you y/n?

you: yes, i’m assuming haerin told you about sunday’s event…i hope you’re free?

꒰ 💭 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

the only time han jihoon had seen his friend woonhak lose his shit was once when he accidentally deleted his entire project which he was partnered with you for, and when he heard that their senior yang jungwon had a thing for you. both the times, you were involved when he exploded and it was always jihoon who served as his emotional support.

but today? jihoon could tell he was close to losing his shit over his date, with the amount of texts seowon had been bombarding him with since yesterday but his usual signs of him normally losing his shit were…unusual today.

“so...did y/n talk to you?” he asked casually, trying to bring up a familiar and favourite topic to help him analyse why woonhak was currently expressionless as he rummaged through jihoon’s wardrobe.

“It’s been 6 days since she has—hey where’s that red jacket of your’s?”

“six days?!”

woonhak hummed as he pulled out a simple denim jacket, matching it with his outfit, one that he wore often when y/n would drag him to the cafe near her house— stop. stop thinking about her.

“anyways, forget about y/n for now, are you excited for the date??” jihoon quipped as woonhak put his phone down, unbothered to open the endless row of unread messages from seowon.

“I’m only doing this to find out if she’s the dove girl jihoon, and to return her earring of course” woonhak sighed as he turned towards his friend.

“honestly, I’d be more excited if y/n texted me right now instead of seowon” he chuckled bitterly as jihoon’s pursed his lips.

“ayo woonhak—isn’t y/n l/n your girl??” came the voice of jihoon’s brother taesan as he entered the room.

“yes—but what happened?” Jihoon questioned before woonhak could deny him

“why’d she ask me to be her date then…what a small world” taesan mumbled to himself as jihoon’s eyes widened.

“she wHAT??” if woonhak was expressionless earlier, he sure wasn’t now with his current nonplussed state as jihoon winced. what a small world indeed.

“s-so you were the date..” jihoon stuttered as woonhak turned to glare at him.

“you knew about this?? why didn’t you tell me—I’m gonna kill you han jihoon—“

“I couldn’t risk dealing with your hormonal ass if I told you?? you’ve got a date too anyways!!” jihoon cried as woonhak sputtered, still trying to fathom the news he just heard.

why would she even need a date unless—

He took in taesan’s attire, a neat blazer with shirt—a business party again.

“hyung” he spoke out as jihoon and taesan looked at him

“you can’t go with her”.

seowon: woonhak im near the ferris wheel! Are you here yet?

seowon: you must be running late, I’ll be near the carousel, ive taken cotton candy for the two of us!

seowon: it’s been half an hour already…is there a lot of traffic?

seowon: woonhak?

seowon: will you be coming today..?

꒰ 💭 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

you were a mess. and your day was going to be a mess too. and it was all taesan’s fault. the emo looking guy had bailed in the last minute and now you were back to square one: dateless.

mom is gonna kill me, you thought as you politely greeted some of your moms colleagues, trying not to visibly wince because of the tightness of the threads of your dress that were tied near your waist.

your heart was thumping loudly in your ears as you felt beads of sweat forming on your forehead. god please, now was not the time. you spotted your mother entering the ballroom of the hotel as people clad in fancy suits and dresses stopped by to chat with her. you scowled as you spotted eunbin too, hair greased back with gell and all as he smiled artificially at his father’s friends.

“y/n darling! there she is my daughter!” your mom called out, smiling widely as she beckoned you over to her work seniors.

“this is my daughter—darling where’s your date?” you gulped at her camouflaged glare and slight change in tone, which went unnoticed by the people around you.

“he’s gonna be here soon mom, don’t worry—it’s a pleasure to meet you ma’am” you simpered with a huge smile, eyes darting away from your moms as you tried to focus on anything—anything else other than her, or eunbin at that moment.

the world went blurry around you, you weren’t sure for how many minutes or seconds it lasted but once your vision cleared, you registered one of your moms colleagues—executive lee who was introducing his son to your mother.

“…graduated last year, and he’s off to yale soon, my son chanyoung!” he beamed as your mom gushed at this information. the boy—was he your senior? chanyoung looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but at the party as he sent a nervous smile at your mom who was still raving about his studies.

“that must be so exciting!! i’m sure you’d have a lovely time at yale dear, it’s so nice to see young people working so hard…if only my y/n could be like you, congratulations chanyoung!!” your mother smiled widely at him as her seniors expressed their congratulations too.

you merely laughed along at her statement, avoiding chanyoung’s sympathetic expression towards you as you ignored the familiar pang of bitterness inside you. this wasn’t anything new after all, if anything you had gotten better at masking your hurt.

“you bet he will! my son was just like you y/n dear, but look at him now!” executive lee boomed as he gave his son a mighty pat (more like a slap) to his back as he winced.

lee chanyoung looked like he was a second away from running out of the hall with the way everyone was surrounding him now; you could make out eunbin’s envy as he smoothened his jacket, while conversing with some of the other children of the businessmen in the party and shooting poor chanyoung the occasional glare.

“y/n dear where is your date? is he running late?” you didn’t miss the hint of distaste in your mom’s tone as she questioned you again, still maintaining her polite persona in front of her seniors.

“yeah, where is he y/n? did he dump you?” eunbin joined the conversation, further escalating your growing anxiety.

“don’t be silly! he’s probably stuck in traffic—it’s a sunday after all” you laughed softly, smiling lightly as your mom continued to look at you suspiciously. your vision tunnelled again as you racked through your brain for solutions, anything to escape this situation.

“are you sure? i’d be surprised if your, ah imaginary boyfriend does somehow show up” oh how badly you wished this slimeball had a mute button. some of your mom’s colleagues turned towards you two, interested in the conversation as chanyoung who was still in the group near you shot you a look of concern, the only one observant enough who noticed your tensed state.

“but hey…i’m always here in case you—“

“kim woonhak?” came a soft voice—from chanyoung as you turned around. woonhak?

“woonhak?!” your echo of disbelief attracted quite a few people’s eyes as you brought a hand to your mouth. red-faced, you bowed out apologies fervently as kim woonhak, decked in a neat black jacket with a white shirt underneath and black pants—oh wow, walked towards you with his usual smile.

“i’m so sorry i came late—mrs.l/n you look lovely as usual” woonhak greeted your mom as he gave her a bouquet of flowers. it hadn’t even been a minute and he already charmed your mom, you couldn’t believe kim woonhak. scratch that, you couldn’t believe your current situation right now seriously why is he here—

“so you’re y/n’s date?” eunbin butted in again—the urge to tape his mouth together was so strong. he eyed woonhak up and down as you glared at him.

“boyfriend actually, and you are-?”

you knew that woonhak knew who eunbin was, but that was the least of your concerns right now because

boyfriend?!

one one hand you felt like you were in a netflix drama, where the males had one of those dramatic stare offs. woonhak’s usually cheery tone was replaced with an air of coolness, a tone which was quite unfamiliar for you who had at the most, heard him whine out complaints occasionally.

on the other hand, you were frozen on spot as one of his arm went around your waist, pulling you closer to him. eunbin’s scoff drowned in the sea of the chatters from your mom and her colleagues as he strode away. but you didn’t care. your mind was floating once again and you weren’t sure if your heart was pounding from the earlier nerves or his arm around your waist now.

“i knew it—it took you two long enough didn’t it?” came chanyoung’s sly voice as he beamed at woonhak—riight he was on woonhak’s dance team, you failed to recognise it as he had dyed his hair a deep red, unlike his previous dark hair.

“anton sunbae! how’ve you been!” woonhak made his classic little woah of surprise as he in for a bro handshake.

“if yall are done with your bromance—woonhak, a word?” you tugged on his arm at the last bit as chanyoung waved a goodbye at you two.

once you pulled him outside the hall near the fountain lit garden, you faced him.

“what are you doing here?? and where’s taesan?” you burst out.

“seriously? not even a thank you?!” he scoffed, folding his arms.

“and what did you mean by boyfriend?! last time i checked we’ve been together since never!!”

“what—does the idea of being my girlfriend sound that bad??” he quoted your words from earlier, shooting you a glare that mirrored your own which was directed at him.

“i’m being serious woonhak—oh my god your date?? what are you doing here right now?!” your voice grew higher with each word as it dawned on him. right. his date.

“oh god i—no im so confused right now—why would you miss your date—how’d you find out about the party?!” you continued rambling, mind spinning as you began registering what happened. woonhak missed his date to come here? why was he here?

“why the fuck are you worrying about that date y/n—seriously is that what you’re panicking about right now?” he said incredulously as you continued to walk around in circles, the only thing going on in your mind right now was woonhak missed his date. and it’s somehow my fault.

“i swear to god—i don’t get why you didn’t tell me about today?? you didn’t have to hunt around for a date when i’m right here y/n!!” he could feel his temper rising but he didn’t care, woonhak really was feeling quite betrayed about you keeping things from him—was this why you were avoiding him?

“you’ve avoided me for a week y/n—and i don’t even know why!! and now you’re worrying about my date when i came all the way here for you??”

he finished angrily, breathing loudly as you finally stopped pacing around, freezing as you looked at him with a broken look.

“i-“

it was too much. you had successfully pissed woonhak off. your previous anxiety came crashing down as a tidal wave of emotions swept across you. it was too much, god you missed him so much but you fucked everything up. everything was too much, the past week had been hell for you and it all came crashing down as you let out a sob you had been holding in for god knows how long.

“i’m sorry—god i’m sorry woonhak, i’m so sorry”

you couldn’t keep your composure for longer, sinking onto the wet grass as tears freely trailed down your cheeks and fell on the fabric of your dress as you hung your head low.

“wait—shit, y/n—“

he made you cry. woonhak wanted to kill himself at that moment, seeing you cry because of him? fuck his temper, that stupid temper that made him lose control of his words. he wasted no time in bending down to your level as he pulled you into a hug, his hold on you was firm and tight as you sobbed your heart out into his chest.

“i’m sorry…it’s too much” you said between sobs, confusing him. he still held you, shuffling slightly so that your smaller frame was now nestled in his lap as he felt you first the back of his jacket tightly as your tears stained his shirt.

“what’s too much—y/n what aren’t you telling me?” he pleaded as you continued to let out choked out apologies while hiccuping out tears.

“can’t…breathe” you gasped between tears as he loosened his grip. huh—oh. his hands reached out to the ridiculously tight knotted satin around your waist as he pulled them out. you continued to breathe in heavily as he squeezed his eyes shut. what had he done??

“shh breathe…breathe in y/n..” he whispered as you let out another “i’m sorry”.

“no..i’m sorry y/n—fuck i didn’t mean any of it” he murmured as he lightly rocked you while gently stroking your hair.

woonhak thought his heart broke when he realised that you’d never feel the same way as he felt for you, but he was sure it physically broke today as he heard you whimper out a “please don’t get mad at me” while you trembled like a leaf in his arms. he silently vowed into the dusky skies that he’d never ever make you cry again, or he’d really die of misery.

“i’m sorry…for everything. and i missed you so much” he felt you mumble into his shirt as your breathing reduced its pace. you loosened your fists as you let go of his now crumpled jacket, small hands rested themselves on his back as you continued to sniffle lightly.

“im sorry for your date…i know i fucked it up—“

“shh. you didn’t do anything okay? i chose to come here instead and i’d do it anyday” woonhak said softly but firmly, and you knew that was the last time you’d be bringing up that topic again.

“i missed you too y’know” he murmured, resting his head above yours as he continued to comb his fingers through your strands.

the two of you sat in silence in the grass, the music from inside the hall floated softly though the garden as you began to calm down. inwardly, you didn’t want to leave the comfort of woonhak’s warm embrace, his arms felt like a second home.

reluctantly, you pulled away from his warmth and sat back on the grass as you found yourself face to face with a devastated woonhak.

“you look like a puppy who’s been kicked” you let out a watery giggle as he gaped at your change in demeanour.

“and you look like someone who’s failed at applying their mascara” he said as you let out a full blown laugh. he started laughing too as he heard you struggle to hold in your laughs and just like that, the ugly fight was forgotten.

“woonhak” you said once the two of you calmed down.

“let’s go see the stars”

꒰ 💭 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

“so you’re telling me taesan is jihoon’s brother?! oh my god what are the odds?” you marvelled as woonhak snorted.

“i still don’t get why you asked him though, like hello i’m right here??”

you could hear the pout in his voice as you smiled. the two of you were currently on the roof of your house, the telescope lied abandoned as you two lied on your backs, gazing at the night sky which was freckled with stars.

“i didn’t wanna ruin your date…” you admitted slowly as woonhak turned towards you. his previously neat hair now lied messily on his forehead, tousled by the gentle night winds.

“why are you like this…always placing others ahead of yourself” he chided softly as you turned to face him too.

“i don’t like seowon like that, and i don’t think i ever will” he confessed as your brows flew up. what??

“then whom were you talking about?!”

“huh?”

“huh?” you echoed back, cursing yourself inwardly for letting that slip out.

“…anyways, don’t ever do that again..putting yourself before others, especially with me” he emphasised, eyes boring into yours.

“i’ll try” you said lightly, facing the sky again as he did the same. all you could think about right now was how the two of you watched the stars just like this at school during the ball, except this time there were no masks involved.

“you know…we did this at the ball too” woonhak chuckled softly as you stilled.

“me and the dove girl…we looked at the stars after we danced, just like this”

you kept your mouth shut as he continued to reminisce, fearing that you’d blurt out something else again if you spoke up.

“i never told you this…but she kissed me y’know” he said bashfully as he avoided your eyes.

“do you like her?” you questioned slowly as he furrowed his brows.

“nah. i don’t think i do” he said after a beat as he faced you.

“do you like someone though?” you continued, more curious than ever now that he told you that it was never seowon whom he liked.

“…i do, but she’d never like me back” woonhak said slowly. truthfully, he had no idea why he was out here confessing his secrets to you. but why did you look so sad when he said that?

no way. he needed to stop bringing his hopes up for the smallest of gestures.

“are you upset that i didn’t tell you?” he asked softly as you shook your head.

“i don’t believe that she doesn’t like you back y’know” you said, trying to conceal your previous downcast expression. and you meant it, how could anyone not like him?

“whoever she is…she’s a lucky girl woonhak, you’re a really precious person” you whispered as you moved closer to him, still looking at him in the eyes.

“really?” he asked you with a small voice.

“really.”

there was a soft expression on his face as he smiled at you, before pulling you into a tender hug. you snuggled into his warmth for the second time that night as his arms encircled your smaller frame, his faint heartbeat thudding against your ear.

“you’re a really precious person too y/n” he murmured, kissing the crown of your head silently as you hummed. and he meant it, he really did.

꒰ 💭 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

“look at the two of them, god i can’t take this anymore” lee chan made a sound that was a mixture of disgust and endearment as jeonghan snickered next to him.

“i don’t think they know that we can see them” he continued, watching you and woonhak cuddle on the uneven roof of the house from below, where the car was parked. “they’re so in love it’s sickening”

“nah, they’re both so oblivious it’s sickening” jeonghan corrected as he hopped off the car’s opened boot, enjoying the fresh night breeze.

“wait— they aren’t dating?!” chan cried in disbelief, eyes darting back to the love struck teenagers on top who were now exchanging some more silent words.

“how do you not know their lore by now…” jeonghan sighed, heading back towards the car as chan prepared himself, eager to learn about the history of you and woonhak.

꒰ 💭 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

“alright guys! i’ll be assigning you in pairs, please hold hands and don’t get lost in the museum!” you looked around nervously, dreading whoever your teacher was going to assign you with. middle school trips were supposed to be fun but you were terrified in the crowded museum, bustling with kids from other school younger and older than you.

“y/n and woonhak!” your teacher’s voice rang out as you raised your hand. a smiley boy caught your eye, waving happily as he ran up to you.

“hi i’m woonhak!! you’re y/n right?” you shyly avoided his eyes, hesitantly holding out your hand for him to shake it. mom always taught you that shaking someone’s hand is a sign of expressing politeness.

he shook your hand quizzically, then proceeded to hold it tightly as your group walked behind your teacher. you glanced at your hand in his, heart thumping fiercely as he smiled at you again.

“woah!! aren’t those dinosaurs?” he exclaimed excitedly when you two stopped near the prehistoric section.

“yep, they’re stegosaurus, they’re herbivores” you said softly as he turned towards you. “you like dinosaurs?”

“yeah..” you mumbled, trying to blend into the background once again as he beamed at you.

“i love dinosaurs too! what’s your favourite one??”

soon the two of you found yourselves strolling through the prehistoric section, hands still interlinked as your school group was far forgotten. he would excitedly point towards the displays of early men and prehistoric creatures as you tried to remember information about them.

“ooh they’re homo erectus! they’re one of the earliest human species” you quipped up as woonhak snickered at the name. “seriously stop” you giggled with him as you two dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“i thought i wouldn’t be able to make friends with you” he said once you two calmed down. “you’re really quiet..but you’re so cool during science class” he said shyly as your cheeks bloomed pink.

“are we..friends now then?” you asked with a small smile as he broke out into a large grin. “hell yeah we are—hey where’s mrs. shim?!”

later that evening when you two got scolded soundly by mrs. shim for wandering away in the huge museum, the two of you left her office with large smiles instead. you were thrilled at making a new friend and woonhak was overjoyed as he finally got to talk to the cool girl from his science class.

꒰ 💭 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

you had no idea how you were back in your room, or how you were now on your bed with woonhak fast asleep next to you. did he carry you down here?

you slowly got up from the bed as you tiptoed into the empty hall, the clock currently read 3:12am which meant your mom was either still at the party or on her way back.

you crept back into your room as you took in its messy state, the reason being you and eunchae hunting for the perfect dress for the party the day before. your closet was open with clothes strewn haphazardly in it—

oh my god. oh my—

your stomach lurched as you nearly zoomed towards your closet, shutting it close as you nearly gasped out for air. you stood in front of the closet with your back plastered to it, as woonhak continued to soundly sleep. had he seen it? there was no way he could’ve missed it…what if he did see it?

it wasn’t your fault, you truly didn’t expect woonhak of all people to enter your room while you were rummaging through your wardrobe the day before. yeah, he could’ve missed seeing it. maybe he did.

the only thing you could do was silently pray, that he missed the sight of your peach coloured dress you wore to the ball. despite it being hung neatly next to all the gowns you owned in the previously wide open closet, you prayed that he somehow missed it.

you didn’t want to think about the possibilities that could occur in case he did see it. you really didn’t.

a/n pt.2: yes, i had to add anton to this, blame his new hairstyle not me😓😓.once again i’m so sorry that this took so long for me to write😭😭, i’m ngl this isn’t proofread rn but i’ll get to it by tonight!! tysm for reading this and being patient with my extremely annoying uploading schedule~ :,)

🖇️: @woonagi-lemon @huhuiiiisworld @helpsplease @jmclouds @minkkumaz @woonsbot @unhakki @dearly-somber

[tsams-confessions]

It's been said before, but I need to get some things off my chest, so I'm gonna preach to the choir for a bit.

(When I say "you," I'm using it in the general sense. This isn't directed at anyone specifically.)

I wish TSBS folks would make up their minds about whether their demographic is kids, teens, or adults. Swearing is forbidden in their Discord, but they swear all over the place on their various channels and only sometimes censor it. They also make plenty of dirty and violent jokes on their channels despite those things being forbidden in the Discord. In a recent TSAMS or TLAES (can't remember which), they censored the word caulk. Caulk might sound like a dirty word, and maybe Lunar was intentionally making a dirty joke (either in or out of character), but the only reason I can think of for censoring it would be if YouTube was gonna demonetize them for it. If YouTube DID demonetize them for it, I think it'd be an easy strike to dispute because... it's just caulk.

So, if the show is meant for a mature audience, the Discord should reflect that. If the characters are gonna swear and make sex jokes, the fans should be able to do the same thing in the Discord. If the show is NOT meant for a mature audience, it shouldn't be as vulgar as it is. You can't have it both ways. Or, evidently, you CAN, but it's really fucking frustrating as a fan that the show is constantly at odds with itself and its community.

Also, does it get on anyone else's nerves that the showrunners know next to nothing about FNaF lore? I'm not saying they all need to have an encyclopedic knowledge of the series or anything, I certainly am not an expert myself, but it is strange to me that they'd be using all these FNaF characters without having more knowledge on them. TSBS is so far removed from FNaF at this point that the only things it has in common with the games are the character designs and some of the settings. I started watching TSAMS because I'm a fan of the games, so I guess I feel kind of robbed that it has so little to do with the games.

Lastly, I think it's completely justified for people to take issue with the character of Miku and how she's presented. You can definitely make the argument that she doesn't represent ALL the show's fans, just the obnoxious fans who do stuff the showrunners don't like, but that's still a shitty thing to include in your show. I myself am not a shipper, I'm aro, and I couldn't give half a damn about romance IRL or in fiction, but I think it's incredibly mean-spirited and cruel to not just brazenly insult a sizeable portion of your audience for doing completely normal fandom stuff, but also make them into an obnoxious caricature that doesn't respect anyone's boundaries. Even if the intention is for that caricature to represent a vocal minority of fans that have done shitty things, it gives the impression that Miku is representative of the entire fandom. It's just distasteful and petty.

Anyway, how funny would it be if they put out an episode where Miku just word-for-word says exactly what I said in this ask?

.

[alesdaer]

well, I may have just drummed out 6k+ words of my Rook and Solas wearing their get along shirt; also featuring Lucanis being tired and my Spirit Healer Lavellan. Under the cut for anyone who wants it, I'm sure it's wildly not in-line with canon

my Rook, Mina, is an elven mage who recently left the Antivan Crows to work for the Inquisition

"I hope that you are quite proud of your actions today. No one else will be."

Mina turned toward him. The man they had been chasing for months now stood just a few short feet away from her with his hands clasped tightly behind his back. He faced a wall which was covered in the very beginnings of some kind of mural. Though he was turned away from her, there was no mistaking him in that gaudy armor.

"Solas." She reached for the Fade and was surprised to find it all around her. The room they were in warped briefly as she exerted her will only to snap back into solid walls a moment later. 

"Ah." He turned to face her. His expression was irritated, bordering on angry. "Welcome, da'len, to my prison."

"What are you talking about?"

"The ritual that you so carelessly disrupted was almost ten years in the making," he said. "When you decided to drop part of the ritual circle on my head, you not only managed to stop it, but to release the very occupants it was meant to contain out into the world. And place me here. Trapped in the Fade." He reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Do you have any notion of the consequences of your actions?"

Mina took a step back. "You're stuck here?"

"Yes."

"And the – the 'occupants' that you let out —"

"You let out," he snapped. "You caused this. This should never have happened and now the world will suffer the consequences of your foolish mistakes."

She felt her face flush. "Your plan was to bring down the Veil and destroy the whole damn world, you selfish prick! Don’t fucking try to pin this on me!”

"Do not speak like you understand this when it is beyond your comprehension."

"My comprehension? Have you even tried to explain your asinine plan to anyone? I'm a mage, the same as you. Last I checked, the same as the Inquisitor. Did you tell her what you were planning, because she's the whole fucking reason I'm even here."

"Do not," he bit out. "Presume to –"

"Get over yourself." She clenched her fists. She could feel the strain of the Fade trying to reach her. "Varric cared about you for some reason, so I was willing to follow his lead, but now I am responsible for this team and the consequences. So, either help me or get out of my fucking head, old man."

He glared at her and had his powers not been locked away here like her own, she imagined she would have been turned to stone just then. 

Mina tried to breathe through her nose and calm her rapid heart as she looked away to study the room around them. It was grand and beautiful, comfortably appointed, but austere. Lonely in a way she couldn't quite categorize. Beyond the half sketched mural on the wall, there was little adornment and no real personal touches. 

Solas had called this his prison. 

"Aren't you a somniari? Can't you just will this place to disappear? We're in the Fade."

"It does not work like that. All of the Evanuris were talented dreamers, all of the Elvhen had the innate ability. To trap them, wards preventing their interference had to be enacted. I can no more manipulate this place than you can."

"How am I even here?" She looked back at him over her shoulder and found that the anger had faded into an exhaustion that made her wince empathetically. 

"When you disrupted the ritual, you must have been injured." His voice was hollow, quiet. "Some of your blood mingled with the magic creating a connection that I do not fully understand. You are linked to the Fade."

Mina shrugged. "I'm a mage. Tell me something I don't know."

The frustrated expression returned. "This goes beyond the ability to draw from it. What you are now is something that has never been seen before."

"And? I'm a half-Dalish bastard by some Antivan fop who raped my mother. That's pretty normal for me too." She realized she was shouting and took a deep breath. "What exactly does this connection do?"

"Allow you to visit me here, presumably." Solas frowned at her. "How old are you?"

"What do you care?"

"You have the fate of the world on your shoulders, da'len, and I am in no capacity to interfere, so I must help you wherever I can. To that end, it seems prudent to know more about you."

She rolled her eyes. "Twenty-two.”

"And your name?"

"Mina," she said, numbly. "Mina Ricci."

"An interesting name for the child of a Dalish elf."

"That's because it's not Dalish." She ran a hand through her hair that snagged wildly on her curls. "It's the name the Crows gave me when my mother sold me to them."

His expression was glacial, but she didn't think it was directed at her this time. "You are an Antivan Crow, then."

"Not by choice," she insisted. "Mina is an Antivan word. It just means 'mine.' The First Talon gave me that name. Ricci I picked up later; it just means 'curly-haired.'"

"And you do not know your given name?"

"I don't remember much of my early childhood. If I knew it, I don't anymore."

He nodded. "It is interesting that the Crows would choose such a name, as, while I am sure it does have meaning in Antivan, it is also an Elvhen name meaning 'your blade.'"

She blinked. No one had ever told her that.

"Perhaps your mother did give you your name."

"Stupid name for a kid," she said, feeling a little unsteady on her feet. 

"I suppose. Do you know what Clan your mother hailed from?"

She shook her head. "No idea. I don't think she ever told me why she was anywhere near Antiva City. Or why she stayed."

"Interesting." He said it in a way that made her head hurt. 

"What?"

"Interesting that you carry such a name when, for all intents and purposes, you will be acting as my blade in the world for now. Both figuratively, and literally, I suppose, as the lyrium dagger appears to have traveled with you."

Mina glanced down at her belt and was surprised to find the blade tucked there. She had a vague memory of picking it up before she collapsed. She took it out and tossed it at his feet. 

“I’ve spent my entire life being someone else's knife in the dark. I'm not going to be yours. Keep your dagger and keep out of my head."

Solas gazed at her sadly. "Unfortunately for us both, da'len, I do not believe we will have much of a choice."

. . .

"Tell me about your mother."

Mina opened her eyes onto the Fade and sighed. Solas was painting or doing something like it with plaster and pigment on one section of the wall. It didn't really look like any painting she had ever seen in Antiva. The shapes were reminiscent of the murals under Minrathous. The rest of the sketch was completed, but the lines only vaguely hinted at the shapes to be created. She couldn't make heads or tails of it. 

"Why?"

"I am curious," was his simple reply. 

She rolled her eyes behind his back. "She sold me when I was six or seven, so I don't remember much."

"Tell me about what you do remember, then."

Mina chewed her lip as she thought. "She liked to sing — she had these Dalish songs she would sing to me at night. I only remember bits and pieces of them, but I remember her voice better. I don't even remember her face. Just her hair, and how her jewelry would get caught in it."

"What do you remember of the songs?"

She frowned at his back. "If you're expecting me to sing, you're going to be waiting for a long time."

"I would not presume," he replied, primly. 

"What's with all the paintings in the Lighthouse?"

"Lighthouse?"

"Your place. We're using it as our base for now. There are paintings and sketches everywhere."

Solas turned toward her briefly, before returning to his task. "Is there something you find immoral about art?"

"I find it a little creepy that most of them are of the exact same woman. Does she know you're drawing pictures of her?"

His shoulders stiffened and when he spoke his voice was quiet. "I imagine she does."

"Who is she?"

"I am surprised you do not recognize the Inquisitor."

Mina blinked. Wait. "Are the two of you –"

"Nothing so untoward, da'len."

"You say that, but there are a lot of paintings of her."

"She is an important figure in our history and she is – was a dear friend to me.” He said it like it was the most normal thing in the world, but Mina heard an edge in his voice. "There is no more reason than that."

"Let me guess, she dumped you?"

His head snapped up. "Excuse me?"

She laughed. "Come on. You can't tell me you've been living like an obsessive recluse for the last ten years while drawing pictures of the same woman over and over again out of platonic admiration."

Solas glared at her. "Why is it any of your concern?"

"Just trying to figure you out," she assured him. "Fen'harel. You're supposed to be terrifying and manipulative. So far, you're just sort of pathetic."

His mouth twisted to one side. "You excel at vexing me."

She grinned. "Got to keep your memory sharp, old man."

He sighed and waved a hand. "You are interrupting my work."

"Your finger painting will survive, I'm sure."

He grumbled and went back to mixing what looked like plaster. "You are correct in your assessment of my previous relationship with Inquisitor Lavellan."

"Was that really so hard to admit?"

He sighed. "I grow increasingly concerned for your ability to remain serious in any conversation, da'len."

Mina sat down in one of the wing back chairs. As comfortable as it had looked, it was like sitting on granite. She drew her knees up. "What's she like?"

"Who?"

"The Inquisitor."

"You have never met her?"

"No. Varric and Harding have always been my contacts."

He was silent for a long moment. "She is kind, curious, and stubborn." He lifted the trowel in his hands to smooth more pigmented plaster across the wall. "Inquisitor Lavellan never took anything at face value. She pushed for the truth no matter the cost, but also treated others with a kindness that they often did not deserve. Though, she had little tolerance for arrogance or deceit."

Mina raised an eyebrow. "How did she tolerate you, then?"

"I did not lie to her. While I omitted certain details, I remained as truthful to her as I safely could." There was a pause and then he actually laughed. "As for my arrogance, Ellana did not bother to hide her distaste. She did not shy away from lecturing me every chance she had."

"And you fell in love with her?" Her voice was full of disbelief. 

"When you have spent millennia unchallenged, it is refreshing to find yourself otherwise opposed."

Mina snorted a laugh. "So you argued?"

"Frequently," he conceded. "Yet every conversation drew us back together the next day. I have never seen her exhaust her thirst for knowledge nor concede a step when she knows that she is right. That you're here is proof of that."

"What happened?"

For a moment it seemed like he wouldn't tell her, but then he set his pallet down and turned to slide down a dry section of the wall. From his seat on the floor, he looked at her. "I made a mistake. I had intended to tell her everything. Who I am, what I had done, and what I was planning, but doing so, it would have meant admitting that the Breach was my doing in the first place, that the Anchor on her palm was born of my magic, that she was tied to me in a way neither of us could control or explain. So, I didn't, and it will always be the decision I regret most."

"More than creating the Veil?"

He frowned at her. "Vexing."

She grinned back. "So, you didn't tell her and she dumped you?"

"No. No, I left her." He closed his eyes. "I removed her vallaslin, set her free from its corruption, and I left."

"Dramatic."

He sighed and knocked the back of his head against the wall. "I did not think my arrogance would come as a surprise to you."

"It doesn't," she assured him. "I'm just making sure you know."

He continued to stare at the ceiling, but she could have sworn there was a faint smile on his face. 

. . .

"He's supposed to be dead!" Mina paced back and forth in the room that had quickly become as familiar to her as her apartment in Antiva City had ever been. "That asshole, and Neve told me to recruit him!"

Solas looked up from the book balanced across his knee. "He is the grandson of the First Talon? The one who named you."

Mina nodded. "He's supposed to be the one taking her place someday. The bastard is practically royalty. Half of Antiva City was in mourning when the Crows learned he was dead."

"And have you spoken to him about this?"

"Of course not," she snapped. "I want nothing to do with the smug asshole."

Solas raised an eyebrow. "I see. Perhaps, da'len, it might benefit you to listen to what he has to say."

"His grandmother bought me, Solas! Like an animal — I didn't even get to keep my own name."

"I understand, da'len." He closed the book and leaned forward in his chair. "But you said that he was reported dead and thus removed from the line of succession. Perhaps there was a reason."

Mina huffed and turned sharply on her heel to make another pass across the room. "Why are you so eager to defend him?"

"I do not care about what becomes of the man, but it may help you to speak about your past to someone who also knows the Crows for what they are."

"He's the First Talon's grandson," she insisted. "Why would he care about a bastard born mage like me?"

"Why not ask him and see?"

She stopped and turned to face him. "What if he tries to take me back to the Crows?"

"Then I'm sure you will find a way to thwart him," Solas assured her. "I will help. Where I can."

Mina stared at him, trying to understand the motivation behind his suggestion, but her head hurt, and the asshole loved the sound of his own voice far too much. 

"Fine," she spat. "I'll talk to him."

. . .

“You are going to ruin the plaster like that.” Solas insisted for the third time in as many hours.

At some point, Mina had decided that she wanted to learn how to make the giant frescos like the Ancient Elves had. Solas had reluctantly agreed to teach her, but only on a separate wall from the one he had been diligently filling for the past weeks. He had monitored her initial sketch, making suggestions to better accommodate the behavior of the plaster and pigment, and now was trying to show her how to competently mix and apply the stuff to the walls. Mostly, it had resulted in her being covered in drops of plaster from head to toe. 

Feeling mutinous, she shoved the pallet at him. “Show me again.”

He sighed irritably, but gently lifted it from her hands before he began correcting her fumbling efforts. “You must pay attention to the moisture the pigments introduce. Each color varies in the amount of liquid used to create it.” He added a bit more water to the mix and the violet pigment began mixing smoothly into the plaster. “Like this.”

She watched, her mood still sour. “You make it look so easy.”

“I have been doing this for thousands of years, da’len.”

“Have you really been alive that long?”

“Yes.” He nodded, still focused on the pallet mixture. “Even disregarding my time in uthenera, I have lived many of your lifetimes.” He glanced up. “Surely you know this?”

She wrapped her arms around herself. “I know. It’s just hard to imagine.”

“Once, all of our people were so long-lived.” He shook his head. “My plans to bring down the Veil, all of it was to restore what was.”

“What about what is now?”

Solas reached for the pallet knife and used it to spread a small amount on the wall. “The world would have faced some consequences, but it would not have destroyed everything. I took precautions to minimize the damage, but the spirits who have spent so long trapped within the Fade and the mortals who have never known otherwise, many would have slaughtered each other.”

“And if they didn’t?”

“Our people would have regained our immortality, our innate connection to the Fade. It would have taken time for the magic to settle back into its place, but it has spent millennia straining to do just that.” He smiled. “Why do you think there are so many spirits so eager to cross the Veil? They simply wish to return home.”

Mina blinked. Much of her training had been around demons and how to resist possession. All mages learned about the dangers of the Fade. The Chantry had always taught that it was envy that drove the demons toward the real world. To know that it was instead a yearning for familiarity, for the belonging they had once had, it made her chest ache.

“What about the people who aren’t elves? The qunari and dwarves and – and humans?”

Solas looked at her. “I do not know. While the dwarves existed exactly as they do now prior to the creation of the Veil and will most likely continue in the same vein, the humans and qunari are new. That some can be mages speaks to some inherent connection to the Fade much as our people possess, but I cannot say what that means for them.”

“You were just going to gamble with their lives?”

He returned to filling in her sketches on the wall. “It was worth the risk. No matter what, the Evanuris had to be imprisoned again, and the Veil taken down.”

“Why didn’t you imprison them without the Veil in the first place?”

“I did not know then what I do now,” he told her. “I could not foresee the havoc the Veil would wreak across Elvhenan.”

“What was it like? Before the Veil.”

He sighed. “What good would it do to dream about a land long dead?”

She shrugged. “The Veil is so weak now that we all might be dead tomorrow. Indulge me.”

Solas continued to paint absently, seeming to have forgotten entirely that he was supposed to be teaching her. “You have seen the eluvians, passed through them. Each one connected one part of the empire to another, and at the end of each was a temple or a city or a haven so magnificent that no living artist could do it justice. Not even me. Cities rested on clouds, suspended by magic and bejeweled in mosaics so intricate they took decades to craft even with magic. Artists and artisans were prized and devoted to their crafts. Everywhere you turned, the fruits of their labors were visible, both in crafts that still live today, and in magical feats that would be impossible now. And all of it blended seamlessly with the living world around it.” He smiled sadly to himself. “The libraries of Arlathan were so magnificent that they stood taller than any other structure and gleamed in the light of day or the glow of starlight. And everywhere you went, there was music. Always on the wind or in the earth. Some would spend years in solitude with nothing but the songs for company just to enjoy their beauty.”

Mina blinked and was surprised to find tears pricking the corners of her eyes. She didn’t quite understand why, but every word drew a sort of hopeless longing out of her.

“That is what was lost,” he concluded sadly. He finished the shape he was working on and set down the empty pallet before turning toward her. “Do you understand now why I have gone to such lengths to restore our people? Our home?”

She shook her head, stubbornly ignoring the longing and grief that still gripped her. 

He studied her face with some surprise. “Though you don’t know why, your heritage rings true. Our people carry a memory of that past in our blood, and it will always long for what was.” 

“Another of your mistakes?” 

“No,” he said. “One of the few things I did right.”

. . . 

Lucanis smiled at her, the dark circles beneath his eyes making the expression all the more pitiful. “You are welcome to try to woo me into sleep, tesoro. Just don’t tell me if I snore.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she assured him, settling into the corner of the settee. Lucanis laid down with his head in her lap, his long legs dangling off the end. Mina threaded her fingers through his hair and began to gently coax the knots out of the dark strands. She felt him tense, but he slowly relaxed as she worked. And then she began singing.

It wasn’t a cohesive song. Mostly just a wavering melody and the few lines of Elvhen words that she remembered. She hummed the tune when she couldn’t recall a particular verse or made up new lines in Antivan. All the while, she continued to card her fingers through his hair, tracing lines across his scalp and face as his eyes drifted closed. 

If anyone had hinted to her a year ago that the heir to the First Talon’s seat would be falling asleep in her lap while she sang him Dalish lullabies, she would have laughed herself sick. As it was, Lucanis’s eyes were closed and he hadn’t yet objected to hearing her voice. She repeated the song once more before she fell silent, absently studying his face. 

His eyes opened directly onto hers and she froze. There was something softer in them now than she had ever seen before, and it made her chest tighten almost painfully. 

“Why did you stop?”

She swallowed. “I didn’t want to keep you awake.”

He smiled at her, and, for once, it reached his eyes. “Perhaps I want to be awake to hear you.”

“You are supposed to be sleeping. That’s the entire reason for this,” she scolded, hands still tangled in his hair. 

“Is it?” He sat up, drawing away from her, and for a moment, Mina let herself be relieved to have distance between them once again, but then he leaned toward, sliding his hands into her curls a moment later. “Sei sicuro?”

Mina held her breath, not entirely certain what it was she wanted in that moment. Lucanis studied her intently, before his eyes – Caterina Dellamorte’s eyes – drifted to her mouth, and then back up, a question written plain on his face.

She turned away. “Don’t. Please.”

He released her immediately. “Mi dispiace. Forgive me. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” she said, automatically. “Just forget it.”

He was silent, but Mina didn’t look at him. Eventually he pulled away and stood. “Thank you again, for your offer of company. I appreciate the effort on my behalf.” He was gone a moment later.

. . . 

“You sang,” Solas noted when she finally fell asleep. “I am surprised. I thought you didn’t much care for him.”

“I don’t,” she insisted. “I was just – he has to rest if we’re going to succeed. We all do. Being tired, distracted, it’ll get us killed.”

The look he gave her told her that he didn’t believe her. “I see.”

Mina dropped her head against the wall behind her. “Just say it.”

“Say what?”

“Whatever it is you’re thinking so that we can change the subject.”

He laughed. “How magnanimous of you, da’len.”

“I hate you.”

“I am aware.” His humor lingered. "Your romantic choices are your own to make, of course."

"But?"

"There is no 'but,' simply an observation that, as much as it might complicate things, avoiding love because it is a distraction will only leave you alone in the end."

"Another thing you've learned from experience?"

"Yes."

She was quiet for a moment, then. "I see her face every time I look at him. Caterina Dellamorte. Her eyes. I know he isn't her, but –"

"Have you talked about it?"

She shook her head. 

Solas sighed. "Da'len, you will never overcome what happened to you by drowning in it alone."

"Like you did?" she snapped.

He didn't take the bait, but only nodded sadly. "Exactly as I did."

She huffed. "Why do you even care?"

He slid down the wall to sit beside her. "'He Who Hunts Alone,' the Dalish call me. I know a lot about being alone, and it is not an experience I would wish on you." He nudged her knee with his. "I have millennia of regret to bear, but nothing hurts so much as the road not taken."

"Being alone is – it's easier."

"Yes," he agreed. "And?"

"Sadder," she relented. "I know."

"It is not a weakness to let others see who you truly are."

"That's rich coming from you."

He sighed. "I am a few thousand years old. Even I learn from mistakes eventually."

"Are you really trying to give me romantic advice?"

"Just something to think about for next time."

"There won't be a next time," she insisted stubbornly. 

He only patted her knee. "The song you sang, you don't remember all of it?"

"No. Just pieces. I don't know if my mother even knew all the words."

"Can you sing what you remember? Perhaps it is something I know."

"You really want me to sing? Now?"

"Is that a problem?"

She stared at the fresco still partially finished on the opposite wall. "Fine."

He was silent as she gathered her wits and cleared her throat. A moment later the first faltering words tumbled out of her mouth, twisted oddly by her accent and occasionally patched together by the odd word in Antivan. After the first verse, she heard him singing along quietly and was surprised to hear the lyrics that she had long forgotten settle into the lines of the melody in her mind. She took a breath and began the song again, the Elvhen words forming perfectly on her lips as her native accent faded into the background. 

They sang the entire song together, her contralto sitting an octave above his steady baritone. 

As it ended, she found that the words still remained in her mind, shining like polished silver. She reached up to touch her face and found that her fingertips were wet when she pulled them away. 

"I didn't think I remembered so much," she whispered. 

"It is an old song, da'len. One that lives not only in your memory."

She looked at him, and, for a moment, she wondered if this was what it would have been like to have grown up with a father or anyone to guide and console her. She wiped her eyes. 

"Thank you, hahren."

. . .

"I owe you an apology."

Lucanis paused, his coffee cup halfway to his lips. It had been a battle to convince the rest of their little entourage that a steady supply of Antivan coffee was necessary for their continued efforts, but Mina and Lucanis had won out in the end. It hadn't hurt that the Lighthouse had been completely lacking in tea of any kind. Solas had told her weeks ago that he couldn't stand the taste of either. 

"You've done nothing wrong," Lucanis assured her, setting his cup down on the windowsill and giving her his full attention. "I overstepped."

"You didn't," she corrected, quietly. "I just panicked."

"Why?"

"Because your – the First Talon she – she's the one that took me from my mother. Bought me from her fifteen years ago."

"And you see her in me," Lucanis finished for her. "Of course." He sighed. "I suppose I should have known that."

"No. No, it's not that. I thought it was, but someone helped me see otherwise."

"Someone?"

She shook her head. "You don't want to know."

He nodded, conceding the point. "So, what does this mean, exactly?"

Mina closed the distance between them, stepping close enough to feel the heat from his body. "It means that I wouldn't mind if you kissed me after all."

A moment later, she swallowed a laugh as he bent her backward over the table and did just that. 

. . .

The eluvian glimmered as a single figure stepped through it, her cloak billowing open around her. She pushed her hood back, revealing a face that Mina already knew from the many, many iterations of it scattered around the Lighthouse. 

Varric engulfed the Inquisitor in a tight hug before stepping back and motioning Mina forward.

“Rook, meet Ellana Lavellan, the Inquisitor. Ellana, this is Mina Ricci.”

“Not that I use that title much anymore.” Ellana had a very sweet and even voice, the kind that Mina imagined was trained into her as a former-First. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Mina.”

“Likewise,” Mina replied.

“Varric’s been telling his stories again?” Ellana leveled an accusatory look at the dwarf, her gray-streaked auburn braid slipped over one shoulder. 

“Not Varric.” Mina unconsciously tucked both hands behind her back, clasping them together. 

Ellana’s eyes followed the movement. “You can speak with him?”

Mina nodded. “When I sleep, whatever happened with the ritual, it’s linked me to him or at least to the place where he’s trapped.” She winced, realizing how that sounded. “He talks about you a lot.”

The other woman swallowed and straightened. “You have a plan to release him?”

“We do, and we need your help to do it.”

. . .

“Go!” Mina shoved Solas toward the open rift, lashing out with another burst of ice toward the demons pursuing them. The creatures had all been shifted into more and more grotesque forms of wolves, slavering and howling over their hunt. 

He stumbled, his power still leashed by the wards he had created to contain the Evanuris. Lucanis stepped in front of him, falling in beside Mina to protect her from anything that made it through her spells. Bellara’s bow twanged with electricity that made the hair on the back of Mina’s neck stand on end. Behind her, beyond the open rift, Ellana stood immobile, so deep in her magic that she was insensible to the outside world. Davrin and Harding struck at anything that even approached the rift. 

Lucanis cried a warning as another demon came barreling toward them, far larger and more hideous than its innumerable brethren. The human crashed into her a moment later, sending them both flying as the demon landed on four massive black paws where they had just been. 

Mina felt the back of her head strike something hard. Blood was soon soaking into her collar as she climbed to her feet. Lucanis was beside her again a moment later, worry writ large across his face. She shook her head and reached for her staff. 

The massive demon had already moved on and leapt straight for the rift as Mina raised her hands, summoning a wall of fire to block it. The creature shrank back, but she realized too late that both wall and spell were now between Solas and the rift. 

“Shit.” She sprinted for the demon as Bellara shot an arrow straight into one of its six glowing red eyes. It howled in pain and lashed out, knocking the archer aside. 

Mina kept running. “Get Bellara and get back through the rift!”

Lucanis visibly hesitated but nodded. A moment later he was pulling the Veil Jumper toward Davrin’s outstretched arms on the other side of her wall of fire.

Mina waited until she was close and the demon’s attention was wholly on Solas before she slammed her staff down with a gust of wind. She soared through the verdant air and landed on the monstrous wolf’s back. With a yell, she cast her staff aside and pulled the lyrium life from her belt before plunging it into the back of the demon’s head.

It howled in pain and threw her off, the dagger still clutched in her blood soaked hands. She had just enough time to realize that she was about to die when she heard her body strike something immovable and everything went black.

. . . 

“Take her from me, quickly!” Solas stepped through the rift with Mina draped in his arms, limp and unconscious. The human man, Lucanis, was ashen as he hurried to do just that. As soon as his hands were free, Solas pushed Harding aside and gathered Ellana into his arms. “Break the connection, vhenan,” he ordered, voice tight and pained to his own ear. “Break it now!” She didn’t respond, but continued to stare at him without seeing. Feeling wretched for even considering it, he pulled back and slapped her across the face.

Harding barked in protest, but Ellana took a great breath a moment later and the rift snapped shut on the elven Warden’s blade, severing the sword in half. Ellana stared at him in complete shock a moment longer before the strain of keeping the rift open hit her and she sagged against him. Solas just held her, pulling her tight against his chest. Her good hand clutched the front of his robes in a grip so tight that her knuckles were white. 

“What about Mina?” Lucanis gently set her down gently on the couch against the wall. “What’s wrong with her?”

“She was thrown from the demon’s back and knocked unconscious,” Solas explained. “We will need a healer to check over her spine to ensure nothing is broken.”

“Aren’t you a god?” Lucanis snapped, anger and worry clear on his face. “Heal her!”

“I can no more heal her than I can split the Veil now,” Solas told him, feeling the truth of it settle into his bones. “I have no magic available to me anymore.”

“What?” Harding took a step toward him. “What are you talking about?”

“The prison I built for the Evanuris was designed to lock them away for eternity; the wards I created were intended to completely strip them of their power, their connection to the Fade.”

“Their immortality.” Ellana said quietly, lifting her head. He looked down at her, noting the faint lines around her eyes, the grey streaks in her hair. “You’re mortal now.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “I am.” He smiled at her, tentatively. “I suppose it will fall to you to keep us both out of trouble in future, vhenan.”

For a moment he worried that she would pull away, that the decade apart and his own choices had soured anything they might have had. Ellana closed her eyes. She leaned against his chest again, letting her tears soak into his robes. “I missed you so much,” she murmured against the stained fabric. “Never do that again.”

“You have my word,” he assured her, tightening his arms around her. “Never again.”

She nodded and pulled back. “I can help Mina.” She crossed the room on steady feet and knelt beside the young mage. She directed Lucanis to help her turn Mina over so that she could check her neck and spine for injuries. There were three that Ellana threw all her considerable power into repairing. Once, her magic and the magic of Mercy entwined with hers would have sung to him like a siren across the Veil, but now he heard nothing more than the gentle whisper of her hands passing over fabric and bare skin. As she worked, Varric came to stand beside him, watching as Ellana worked. 

“How does it feel to be just like the rest of us, Chuckles?” The dwarf asked, eyes never leaving the still form stretched across the couch.

Solas stared at her too-still face. “As though I have been given another chance, Master Dwarf.”

There was a cry of exhausted relief from the assassin kneeling at the head of the couch as the final piece of Mina’s spine snapped back into place and her eyes fluttered open. She looked vaguely around until she focused on Lucanis’s face, and she smiled.

“I think we all have.” 

[buckysgrace]

The Lonely pt 2

Can be read as a standalone or here is the first part

Gator Tillman x Inexperienced!Reader

CW: Age gap (Gator is 27 and reader is 19ish), oral sex, dry humping, reader is being manipulated by the Tillman's

You find yourself wanting to get closer to Gator.

"What are you doin'?" Gator questioned as he came up behind you, his boots thumping until he came to a stop. You glanced over your shoulder, raising your eyebrows as you held up your soapy hands.

You couldn't help but press a grin to your lips, despite the irritated tone that slipped from his lips. You blamed it on the childish feelings that filled your gut; how he made your heart clench and your pulse race. It was dumb. So incredibly stupid.

But he was very handsome. You liked the way he slicked his hair back, how you got a full view of his features. He had strong eyebrows, smooth skin and plenty of moles that you referred to yourself as angel kisses. That’s what your parents used to say anyways. 

He didn't happen to be the nicest either, but here and there you caught little glimpses of his softer behavior. He was funny when he wanted to be and would randomly tell you about how his day had been. You appreciated times like that. It didn’t seem like he was in that sort of mood today. 

“Cooking,” You hummed as you held up the wooden spoon to make a point, “Your dad said that you like potato soup.” You added, trying to get onto his better side. You were slightly hoping that Roy would push Gator in your direction, but he hadn’t seemed quite thrilled at that thought. 

“So you made it?” He asked as he looked over into the pot. You weren’t the most experienced with cooking, but Karen was showing you. You thought you had gotten better. Gator teased you about being so pliable, but you liked feeling like you had some sort of family now.  

“I thought it might be nice,” You whispered as he moved closer to you, making your heart thump harder inside of your chest, “How was work?” You asked as you breathed in his musk, trying to pretend like it didn’t start a fire deep within you. 

“You’re not my gal.” He pointed out as he lazily rested his hip against the counter, watching you with cocked eyebrows. You chewed on your bottom lip, shrugging your shoulders as you tried to pretend it was no big deal. It really shouldn’t be. You knew he would get rid of you as soon as he got bored. But he seemed to enjoy toying with you. 

“Never said I was,” You responded as you held your chin up, “I have to earn my keep, right?” You recalled what he’d told you many times when he acted like you were too much of a hassle to deal with. 

“Mhm,” He hummed as he gripped your chin, tilting your head back and forth for a moment, “C’mere.” He mumbled as he pulled you towards the little living room, making your excitement grow within your chest.

You know what he wanted, how he liked to use you as a stress relief. You didn’t mind, not at the moment anyways. As long as he kept messing with you, it meant that he didn’t pay attention to anyone else. You knew it was silly to get jealous, he’d toss you aside eventually. But you craved his attention, the feeling of his hands on your skin. 

He pressed you onto the couch cushions, earning a soft shriek from your mouth before he was tugging your dress up over your knees. You weren’t sure about your new attire, but it seemed to drive him crazy. You liked that.

“Pretty,” He mumbled as he dragged his fingers across your white panties, his eyes taking in the pink flowers that were decorated on them, “I like them.” He mused, eyes flashing in enjoyment as he slowly moved himself to his knees and spread your legs apart. 

He liked to get you all wet, eat your pretty pussy and then position your panties in the rightful position. Then he'd take his hard cock from his pants and grind into you, hissing at the wet contact. He had yet to actually fuck you, adamant that it wasn’t his place to do so. He didn’t want to ruin you for your future husband, but that’s exactly what you wanted. 

He stretched the cloth across your pussy, making it taut before he dragged his tongue across where your clit was resting underneath your panties. You sighed in bliss, head hitting the back of the couch as the pleasure raced through your body.

You kept your legs spread, placing your hands on your knees to keep yourself settled as he continued to flick his tongue across the front of your panties. He looked up at you, expression turning cocky before he spit over them, getting them slick and wet before he began to rub his fingers across your clothed pussy once again. 

“Oh,” You breathed out, arching your hips up towards his touch as he pressed his fingers along your throbbing cllt. He moved softly, slowly as his spit began to drench through your panties, “Feels good.” You whispered out, biting back your own grin at the way his cheeks began to flush. 

He continued to brush his fingers over your clothed pussy, teasing you before he eventually dragged the wet material away. You watched in fascination as his brown eyes lit up, filling with awe before he dipped his head down and took a long lick of your cunt.

You gaped, head falling back in awe at the way he dipped his tongue between your wet folds. He licked at you like a starved man, groaning the whole time as he prodded at you with his tongue. He sucked at your folds, using his fingertips to smear the slick onto our skin as you found yourself drenched against his mouth.

“Gator,” You breathed out, bringing your finger up against your mouth to bite down on softly. The pleasure was overwhelming, deep and pleasurable as the fire grew within your veins. His large hands fell to your waist, gripping your soft flesh to keep you still as he began to languidly flick his tongue against your clit, “Oh my God. Fuck.” You tried to muffle your curse, knowing that he’d give you a hard time for it later. 

“Mhm,” He hummed against your wet cunt, his voice raspy and deep as he continued to drag his tongue through your pretty folds, “Taste so sweet.” He mumbled as he gave your clit a quick peck, then another. It made jolts of pleasure race through your body, your whines growing deep within your chest.

Fire burned everywhere his tongue touched, making your thighs quiver and body shake as he continued to trace your aching clit with the tip of his tongue. You moved your hands to the back of his head, trying to hold him in place as you rocked your cunt up against his tongue.

“Oh, oh,” You cried out, eyes shutting harshly as the pleasure gripped you tightly, “Oh God! Right there!” You squealed in bliss as your muscles contracted, squeezing harshly as your walls broke down around you.

He licked away your cum, guiding you through your orgasm as he continued to stroke his fingers across your thighs. You breathed in once, then twice as your body continued to vibrate underneath his. 

“Little whore,” He grumbled as he licked through your folds one last time, like he was savoring the taste of you, “Such an easy little thing.” He cooed out, making your body twist in pleasure. You admired the slick on his pink lips, on his chin. 

Your nipples grew hard against the material of your dress as he dug his fingertips into your skin. He sat up a bit, spitting roughly onto your pussy before he used his long fingers to smear it all around. You whimpered as he began to pull away, sectioning your panties back over you as he sat up. 

The bulge in his pants was obvious, large and proud as you felt a hungry feeling growing within your chest. You needed him, desperately and deeply. He shifted out of his pants, leaving himself in his boxers as he crowded in between your thighs.

“Need you,” You whimpered out, eyes feeling heavy as you watched the way he palmed at his hard cock. He smirked at you, like he knew exactly what you wanted, “Please. I can take it.” You added as you nodded his head, completely ready for him.

He pulled his long cock free, wrapping his slender fingers around his thick girth before he gave himself a slow stroke. You whined underneath him, desperately wishing that you could feel him stretching out your wet walls. He never got that far with you, however. 

He dragged his leaking tip against your panties, earning a moan from your lips as he hissed in response. You rolled your hips slowly, admiring the way his cock slid against your drenched panties.

"Look at that," He cooed out as he came to a rest, his aching dick resting against your skin, "Look how deep I'd fill you." He teased you, making you croon in pleasure as you rolled your hips up against him. 

"Want it," You spit out, mind hazy with pleasure as you imagined how good it would be to have his thick cock curving deep inside of you, "Gator, please." You begged him, whining as he looked down at you cockily.

"Can't," He groaned as he began to roll his hips again, sighing deeply as he gripped your knees close to his body, "Gotta keep you pure for your husband." He groaned as he shut his eyes, like it was just as difficult for him to handle. 

"Want you to ruin me," You begged him as you gripped his wrists, your pussy throbbing at the feeling of his heavy cock grinding into you, "Please. Ruin me for anyone else. I just want you." You begged him, watching as his eyebrows furrowed together and his lips parted. 

“Mhm,” He hissed as he gripped the base of his dick, giving himself a squeeze as he began to guide his strokes across your soaked panties. You whined, desperately rolling your hips forward in hopes that he’d give into your pleas, “I bet you would like my cock, huh? Such a desperate little slut.” He spit out, his cheeks flushing and features wrinkling together in pleasure.

You nodded your head desperately, imagining the feeling of his thick girth inside of you. You wanted to feel yourself stretching around him, to feel his large cock curving deep inside of your walls. You wanted him to feel you, to stuff you so full that you couldn’t feel anything else but him.

He grunted as he continued to shut his eyes, whispering dirty words underneath his breath as his chest rose and fell. You drifted your fingers across his warm skin, keeping a tight grip on him as his movements became more frantic. 

You reached a hand down between your bodies, deciding you had control over at least one thing as you wrapped your fingers around his throbbing girth. He cried out at the sensation, jerking his hips forward harder as you began to stroke him roughly in your hand.

You jerked your hand in rough motions along his cock, listening to him grunt loudly as thick spurts of cum burst free from his cock. His warm spunk landed on your skin, staining you as soft whimpers left your lips. You felt like it was wasted, like he should’ve painted your walls with his cum instead.

He groaned as he finally opened his eyes, looking down at you with a hazy look as his lips curled into a lazy smile. He moved his fingers across your skin, moving slowly as he scooped up the remainder of his cum. He pressed it forward against your lips, dragging his spunk across your tongue.

You moaned as you tasted him, savoring it all. You licked the cum away from his fingers, wanting to prove just how good you could be for him. He laughed as he pulled away.

“Go make me a bowl,” He grinned as he smacked your thigh, making your skin sting before he pulled his pants back on, “Maybe you can pick out the movie tonight.” He suggested, sending you a wink before he tugged your dress back over your exposed skin. 

[darkchocolatedimples]

the tortured poets department (sponsored by my procrastination)

excuse my essays for each song the lyrics are so interesting to me so there’s like actual analyzation for each one.

fortnight - dex

that lingering resentment disguised by surface level friendship is that not literally him and sophie come on. “run into you sometimes, ask about the weather” the awkwardness!! “your wife waters flowers, i want to kill her” he was the #1 fitz hater for multiple reasons after all (although i think he was over it by the time keefe became prominent)

the tortured poets department - sophie

this is so keefe from her perspective come on “you’re in self sabatoge mode, throwing spikes down the road, but i’ve seen this episode and still love the show” “i chose this cyclone with you” “sometimes i wonder if you’re gonna screw this up with me. but you told [biana] that you’d kill yourself if i ever leave. and i had said that to [dex] about you so i felt seen. everyone we know understands why we’re meant to be.” also let’s be so real keefes drawing journals + goodbye letters, he’s giving tortured poet

my boy only breaks his favorite toys - fitz

guys he’s just a silly little boy with anger issues, and he’s MY silly little boy with anger issues stop hating him 😞 “the voices in his head called the rain to end our days of wild” “he saw forever so he smashed it up” he may have fucked up but it happens!!

down bad - dex

CUZ FUCK IT HE WAS IN LOVE!!! also if i may present to you: “i might just die it would make no difference” in the context that outside of sophie saw no purpose to his own life. he saw himself just as he is presented in the books: as her best friend and nothing more. so in losing that (blaming himself and his own feelings for it) what was left of him? who was left? sophie was also his ONLY friend. not to mention in the context of the fact that when he WAS presumed dead nobody cared, they still cared more about sophie.

so long, london - keefe

no not bc of london actually but because “and you say i abandoned the ship but i was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment” is actually a direct reference to keefitz’ friendship falling apart as fitz got angrier and keefe got more closed off. “you swore that you loved me but where were the clues?” “im just mad as hell cause i loved this place” me when everglen is no longer keefes safehaven. nor anyone’s for that matter bc its haunted by alvars betrayal and alden’s mind break and fitz’ anger.

but daddy i love him - biana

“i just learned these people only raise you to cage you” “i just learned these people try and save you…cause they hate you” “dutiful daughter all my plans were laid…growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.” i hate alden vacker. how do u manage to use and fuck up all ur kids by age 12 like wow. “i’ll tell you something about my good name: it’s mine alone to disgrace” she would 100% say this. she would also 100% say “im having his baby! no im not but you should see your faces.”

fresh out the slammer - keefe

sokeefe or keefitz take it as it comes. “in the shade of how he was feeling.” “as i said in my letters.” “my friends try, but i wouldn’t hear it…for just one glimpse of his smile” “swirled you into all of my poems” it’s so him it is truly.

florida!!! - keefe

THIS one’s about london! “well me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time! yes i’m haunted but im feeling just fine” ethan and eleanor wright who?? “your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in” candle shade/shores of solace type beat “i need to forget so take me to [london], i have some regrets i’ll bury them in [london]” “i don’t want to exist so take me to [london]” aw bae

guilty as sin? - dex

i don’t know how to explain but i just feel like this feeling of i shouldn’t be doing/feeling this the literal guilt and all these delusions and the sheer intensity of it all is just giving me dex. “this cage was once just fine, am i allowed to cry? i dream of cracking locks, throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks” “i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault” this must be the way he loves if he thinks so little of himself and doesn’t let himself have good things. “i choose you and me religiously” because at the end of the day when he makes a decision or chooses something or someone he puts his all into it.

who’s afraid of little old me - sophie

“you lured me and you hurt me and you taught me. you caged me then you called me crazy. i am what i am cuz you trained me.” all of it’s literally giving her growing into herself in stellarlune and making decisions on her own. SHE IS NOT A PAWN!!!

i can fix him (no really i can) - tam

idk its just giving him defending rayni with his life when everyone else including linh was like who tf is this girl.

loml - fitz

every sad pining song is fitz vacker to me. esp the refrences to the romance being dead but never buried... "still alive killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried...i'm your holy ghost" the way that sophie switched up on him in stellarlune (although i fully support her) didn't give him much time to recover. "are they second-hand embarrased that i can't get out of bed because something counterfiet's dead" give me heartbroken fitz!!! for once instead of angry fitz just give me tired, resigned fitz. "it was legendary, it was momentary, it was unecessary, should've let it stayed buried" is such a good summary of sophitz imo.

i can do it with a broken heart - linh

linh is so interesting to me as a parallel of fitz: meaning she, just like him, is always angry. however she masks it in smiles and kindness the way he never learned to, he just lashes out. this song feels like it’s talking about that mask: “i’m so depressed i act like it’s my birthday everyday” “i can read your mind ‘she’s having the time of her life’ …i can show you lies” “cause im miserable and nobody even knows” “i can hold my breath, i’ve been doing it since [i] left”

the smallest man who ever lived - keefe

it’s giving a letter to cassius/gisela/alvar. “and i don’t even want you back, i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal. and i don’t miss what we had” “did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?” “in 50 years will all this be declassified and you’ll confess why you did it, and i’ll say ‘good riddance’” “i would’ve died for your sins instead i just died inside. and you deserve prison but you won’t get time” “in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. and i’ll forget you but i’ll never forgive.”

the alchemy - sophie

“cause the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me. honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?” aw sokeefe.

clara bow - biana

BIANA BEING COMPARED TO HER BROTHERS AND ALL THE VACKERS BEFORE THEM "the crown is stained but you're the real queen" "beauty is a beast that roars, down on all fours, demanding more...its hell on earth to be heavenly" i love her.

the black dog - fitz

bring back petty fitz!! i think the young girl not knowing the starting line could parallel with keefe not being able to understand things about telepathy that really connected fitz and sophie. i also think we could shift the angle and make it about alvars betrayal and how it sparked his angry trauma response. “you said i needed a brave man, then proceeded to play him until i believed it too.” “now i want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes…even if i die screaming, and i hope you hear it.”

imgonnagetyouback - fitz

he is 100% this delusional. he's just like me. "you'll find that you were never not mine" "even if its handcuffed im leaving here with you." "told my friends i hate you but i love you just the same, pick your poison babe, i'm poison either way"

the albatross - keefe

“one bad seed kills the garden. one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen.” “the devil that you know looks now more like an angel. i’m the life you chose, and all this terrible danger.” HE IS THE ALBATROSS. i can’t wait for the movie i want edits of him to this. ACTUALLY I WANT A LOT OF THINGS maybe I’ll make a separate post about that.

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - keefe

you saw it coming. this song SCREAMS KEEFITZ. like- “you said some things that i can’t unabsorb…you needed me but you needed drugs more.” “changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules all to outrun my desertion of you.” “if you want to break my cold cold heart just say ‘i loved you the way that you were’” WHAT THE HECK DUDE IM SOBBING “back to the moment i crashed into you like so many wrecks do” that line solidified this as keefe’s pov for me. in conclusion. SOBBING.

how did it end - biana

i propose to you: not a relationship, but the vacker family falling apart and the way they became a huge subject of gossip in the lost cities. when alden’s mind broke, while fitz had turned to anger biana became depressed, and i think this song could relate to that as well. the whole part of “guess who we ran into at the shops” feels very much like conversations others would have about the vackers at the time and when alvar betrayed them. “soon they’ll go home to their [brothers], smug cause they know they can trust him.” and i think at the end of the day when all of it happened biana was just young and betrayed and lost, because she didn’t see it coming or understand why (who did?) “the deflation of our dreaming, leaving me bereft and reeling” “i can’t pretend like i understand, how did it end?”

so high school - biana

HER VIBES ALL THE WAY she’s so cute and lovely and i want this for her (and dex. specifically dex. not anyone else.)

i hate here - sophie

was leaning dex until “you see i was a debutant in another life but now i seem to be scared of going outside” but the whole idea of escapism applies to both of them. especially to sophie though when she lived with humans and was so alone because even her own family couldn’t understand her, and she canonically is a bookworm and probably found more comfort in those other lives than she ever could in her own. "I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind...i read about it in a book when I was a precious child" "ill get lost on purpose, this place made me feel worthless"

thanK you aIMee - tam

aimee 🤝🏽 the song parents. “everyone knows that my [sister] is a saintly woman. but she used to say she wished that you were dead.” “but when i count the scars there’s a moment of truth: that there wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you.” thank you song parents 🫶🏽

i look in people’s windows - fitz

i thought this song sounded so creepy till I actually listened to it and now the idea of like lowkey stalking someone just to see if they still care about you or have moved on is slightly making sense. "does it feel alright to not know me? i'm addicted to the if only." it's giving keefitz (when isn't it?)

the prophecy - dex

"let it once be me, who do i have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy?" THIS JUST REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF THE BEGINNING OF STELLARLUNE WHEN HES LITERALLY MOURNING WHAT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED TO HIS BROTHER YET i need more dex being the oldest sibling and shouldering that burden. the love-hate relationship with his siblings while simultaneously trying to make their quality of life so much better than what he had. also "a lesser woman would've lost hope, a greater woman wouldn't beg" is so him. he is so that middle.

cassandra - tam

"so they killed cassandra first cuz she feared the worst...do you believe me now?" "you can mark my words, i said it first. in a mourning warning, no one heard." tam when keefe joined the neverseen fr

peter - keefe

pls tell me you saw this one coming. "are you still a mindreader? a natural scene stealer, I've heard great things [fitz], but life was always easier on you than it was on me." "promises, oceans deep, but never to keep" "forgive me [fitz], my lost fearless leader...from when we were just kids. is it something I did?" i think I'm just in a constant state of mourning their friendship.

the bolter - keefe

obvious reasons but also "i can confirm she made a curious child, ever reviled by everyone but her own father." "hearts are hers for the breaking, there's escape in escaping." "she's got the best stories, you can be sure, as she was leaving, it feels like freedom."

robin - dex

had to do some research for this one but apparently its talking about preserving a child's innocence! for this reason it reminds me again of dex and his siblings because of the way he really wants to protect them from things that haven't happened yet (especially considering rex being talentless). "way to go tiger" definitely sounds like something he would say to them feeling all sentimental but then, knowing siblings, they'd probably grill him about why he's being nice 💀

the manuscript -

we know the drill by now, fitz gets all the breakup songs because they could be about sophie OR keefe. "afterwords, she only ate kid's cereal, and slept in her mother's bed" while the song is discussing reverting back to childhood habits in vulnerability, fitz's vulnerability made him angry (but it was still a big change from his regular self) "looking back might be the only way to move forward" I hope he does get to move on!!! im tired of the love triangle plot if we're not gonna focus on keefitz' friendship 😭

[sailor-love]

He looks at you intently with his red eyes meeting yours, his voice growing intense.

"I want to know all of you, your deepest desires and the things you don’t just tell anyone. I want you to be clingy and needy. I want you to drown me in your love! I want you to smother me with your attention to make me feel like I'm the only person in the world that matters to you because you matter to me, you always have! You were always meant to be loved by me darling!"

He reaches up to caress your face, his touch gentle and possessive. "I can't get enough of you!" He whispers with his gaze roaming over your face, taking in every detail of your facial features and beauty. "I want you to cling to me like you need me to breathe. I want you to be jealous and possessive because the thought of you looking at someone else makes me want to tear them apart."

His thumb brushes over your bottom lip with a smirk on his face. "You’re never too much, you know that darling?” His eyes gazing into yours. I want to be completely consumed by you, your touch and your love. You can cling to me like velcro, follow me everywhere I go, and I'd never get tired of it. You are exactly what I have always wanted and the guys before me had no idea what they had.”

“You’re absolutely fucking perfect!” He says as he leans in gently to place a kiss on your forehead. “Just tell me I’m yours!”