#what the hell did they do to garak

[vulcanssaygayrights]

[vaguely-concerned]

Visual Language Things in Improbable Cause/The Die Is Cast that are driving me INSANE

the stuff they do with light and shadow in these episodes is just. someone went 'I know artists who use subtlety and they're all cowards' and they were so right for that

are you telling me... that this man is caught between light and dark in this moment and hasn't yet decided which side his soul is going to come down on in the end. hm. interesting. (especially cool that when the shadows of his face are lit up in the runabout at the end, that's when you see the damage underneath. he's partially made that choice and he's illuminated, but not by a comforting light yet, those are danger colours. odo and garak bonding on a day trip to hell; the episode)

I think this shot is ultimately my touchpoint for the visual language set up in this episode -- julian bashir standing there in 'wherever you have to go, come home to this afterwards' light as garak walks into the shadows (and towards tain). where does the light in his life come from currently? we may have a clue before us folks

(This one is literally just because his expression here makes my chest feel weird and aching. oof. I feel like this is one of the rare times he lets himself be really openly soft because he must know there's a decent chance he's not coming back)

aaaand what's the very first thing that greets him once he 'returns to the light' so to speak? :) little bit of a moral and emotional horror show in the middle there admittedly but thanks to odo he did come home and no one like. died or anything. well. many many people died but that honestly wasn't his fault or responsibility. we'll call it a victory

some really cool odo shots too in this ep. I love you constable this was so fucking extra for no reason

fun little detail: when the defiant starts shaking upon taking fire, Julian immediately puts his hand on Garak's shoulder -- the same way and on the same side as Garak did to Tain minutes before, when Odo had to fucking. knock him out to make him let go. (again: odo I love you. a direct and decisive thinker above all)

[lonelymoonrambles]

I just finished season 4 of ds9 and here are my thoughts as a first time viewer:

- starting the season off strong with some Garashir flirting in the medbay 😏

- love to see Worf, but where's Alexander?

- and where the hell is KEIKO

- cool can't wait to ugly cry every time I think about 'The Visitor'

- omg did Julian and miles break up? :(

- they got back together, thanks Keiko :)

- let Jadzia bang her ex-wife!!! LEAVE HER ALONE! GET A JOB!

- Our Man Bashir is just Julian and Garak on a date, having a normal fun good time as boyfriends

- Quark is really out here just trying to get Odo's attention huh

- I am once again asking: if Dukat evil, why sexy!!!?!

- Kira's line to Dukat : "why is that when you smile I wanna leave the room" is so real

- KEIKO'S BACK

- Keiko really said, "you don't need to break up with Julian just cause I'm back, Miles 🙄" our poly matchmaking queen

- Fashion Spotlight: Whatever the hell Quark's been wearing all season 🌈

- Jake. Please. Date someone your own age, I am begging you.

- Benjamin. Stop letting older alien women near your teenage son!

- crazy mirror Julian can still get it, but a little less cause of the haircut

- Ah Weyoun, I've heard so much about you and idk I'm not sold yet pal 🧐

- the Jem'hadar are still serving 💅 they're so sassy and for what

- ommmggg kira joining the polycule as a surrogate / Keiko's girlfriend

- so Quark's just openly pining for Odo now huh

- Miles suggesting Julian move in...DO IT! KEIKO WILL LET YOU! COMPLETE THE POLYCULE!

Ds9 is still holding the title of my fave star trek franchise (sorry tos I love you forever) let's go season 5!

[mlmshipbracket]

ROUND ONE: POLL #14

ROUND 1 ALL POLLS [HERE]

PROPAGANDA BELOW

Noe Archiviste/Vanitas:

light spoilers for the main plot + the quotes are pretty meaningful so they count as spoilers too ig

they were made for each other, literally. When they first met, the first thing they did was fighting. hell, noe even said he didn't like vanitas as a person. they're a human and a vampire. they're almost always together, and their relationship grows gradually and in a very beautiful way, at least to me.

vanitas, who despises himself to the point of pushing away everybody, starts letting himself go with noe, who believes in him, and quite literally said he'll never leave him alone (as vanitas' concept of freedom is being alone). ah also they're doomed. since the first ever chapter, noe says that he will kill vanitas with his own hands, and the whole series is narrated by (future) noe's pov. in fact all the chapters are called "mémoire" and each have a title. 

idk if it counts, but i'll leave here some quotes from both of them.

vanitas:

“I have absolutely no interest in the sort of person who would fall for me.” + "It’s revolting! The thought of someone falling for a person like me…” 

“…Why… can’t I… kill… Why!? Wh… why…?” [referred to noe]

“If I— …get to choose how I die… If I can… wish, then… If I’m going to be killed I want Noé to do it.”

noe:

“That… was the beginning. This is… the tale of how I met Vanitas… and how we walked together… Of all we gained… and lost… And of how… at the end of that journey… I would kill him with my own two hands.”

“He’s bad-tempered. He always does whatever he wants, arbitrarily. He doesn’t care whether he gets hurt but he can’t abide others getting hurt for his sake. He tries to isolate himself by pushing everyone away. —I see. When he says ‘free’… does he mean ‘alone’?”

“My name is Noé!!! I am not ‘that Vampire’!!!! Listen to me, Vanitas. I refuse to be what you want me to be. I will never set you ‘free’!!!”

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir:

The actors both consider the ship to be canon and have actually preformed fanfiction with the characters as a couple before. It called "Little Achievements" and it's posted on Sid City's YouTube page.

Andrew Robinson (who played Garak) has straight up said that multiple of his lines were delivered with romantic intent.

[fortheloveoflatinum]

Damar's Redemption Arc

The best part of DS9 Season 7 was Damar's redemption arc and no one can tell me otherwise.

Here you have this loyal Cardassian solider, probably done some things, seen some things. Killed some innocent people just for the hell of it. He makes a drunken fool of himself all the time, and he's a high-ranking officer who shouldn't be acting that way and he also can't stand what has become of his homeworld, but there is no room for dissent in the Dominion, no room to challenge the Founders and every time he tries to argue with Weyoun, the Vorta shuts him down.

And slowly, he comes around. Pulls himself together. People start to notice. Weyoun notices, and Damar comes to a revelation and defects. And he dies for what he believes in and its beautiful. He falls fighting for the Cardassia he knew, that once-proud empire of his youth that he helped lead astray. And in doing so, he atones, in part, for his sins. It couldn't have ended any other way.

He was the character that I was most devastated when he died - besides Jadzia, of course - because even though you knew it was coming, even though it was the inevitable, logical conclusion, it still hurts. You grow to care for him as a character, see him through a sympathetic lens. Who he could have been. Who he might have been, if he'd been a Federation citizen. Starfleet brings out the best in us all, and I think it would have brought out the best in Damar as well, as it did with Garak, as it does with so many characters.

I kind of want a domestic fic where Damar lives and somehow there's a Weyoun 9 kind of like Weyoun 6 and they all live happily ever after, Garak and Damar bickering like brothers and Julian and Weyoun bonding over their Cardassian mates. It's what I want and maybe it's what I'll write but probably not because who would read it?

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

Why are you running a poll about gay disabled characters and allowing headcannons? Why not focus on canon lgbt characters with disabilities?

Sorry for taking so long to respond, but I wanted to wait until after Round One was posted. (Ignore the fact that it is several days after round 1 finished posting, I got busy). ((Extra update: lol this is such a late response I haven’t been doing like anything)). Also, sorry for such an extensive breakdown on an honest question, we just want to have this to refer to if we get more questions like this.

A quick breakdown: This post will have four parts: a practical explanation, an explanation more related to our blog set up, just a more philosophical explanation, and under the cut a breakdown of more headcannon like characters.

Practical Explanation:

So one of the reasons why we decided to allow more headcanon like characters is simply the logistics on defining what is more fanon or not is a pain. If you look down at the list you can see there’s an ambiguous section, and that’s because especially regarding sexuality/gender often times there is conflicting opinions/information from actors, producers, whatever. (Ex. Many of the Star Trek characters (their various propaganda has decent information.)) Additionally in the cases of especially Spock and to some extent Frodo them being read as queer has a really long history through the fandom, so to discount them from this feels a bit weird. There are also other cases where due to time period of the media specifically there aren’t gonna be specific terms for some disabilities or sexualities or genders. Overall, there is just a lot of gray areas, and to be like some noncanon stuff counts but others don’t is kinda a hard line to draw. (That being said we did reject a few characters for really not fitting, all characters in the showdown have a decent explanation for being here.)

Blog Set Up Explanation:

This is a little bit more rude (sorry). Honestly, from the get go we’ve established that noncanon characters would count, we didn’t get any complaints until we actually started the polls, and there’s not any way that they will be taken out at this point. If you don’t agree with who we let be in the showdown don’t vote for them.

Philosophical Explanation:

On a more philosophical basis, characters can still resonate with people as having similar stories/experiences to them even if they are not canonically LGBTQ or disabled. This is a place that is celebrating LGBTQ and disabled characters, and if a character’s experiences are important to you why shouldn’t they qualify?

Note about qualifications: characters with disabilities that get cured do count as disabled, also word of god counts as confirmation.

Having to sort this out was confusing as hell, apologies for any errors.

Characters that are not canonically disabled:

Sabran IX Berethnet (The Priory of the Orange Tree)

Robin Buckley (Stranger Things)

Rudyard Funn (Wooden Overcoats)

Characters that are really ambiguous/confusing:

Julian Bashir, Data, Elim Garak, Geordi La Forge (Star Trek)

Riku (Kingdom Hearts)

Kuruto Ryuki (AI: The Somnium Files- Nirvana Initiative)

Chu Sangwoo (Semantic Error)

Characters that are not canonically LGBTQ+:

Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows)

Saki Tenma (Project Sekai)

Kurogane (Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle)

Xiao Xingchen, Song Lan (The Untamed / Mo Dao Zu Shi)

Daan (Fear and Hunger)

Homura Akemi (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

Patchouli Knowledge (Touhou Project)

Havelock Vetinari (Discworld)

Wayne Terrisborn (Mistborn)

Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe)

Link (Legend of Zelda)

Qifrey (Witch Hat Atelier)

Viktor (Arcane)

Chicory (Chicory: A Colorful Tale)

Johnny Joestar (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Steel Ball Run)

Schnn T’gai Spock, T’Poll, Keyla Detmer (Star Trek)

Chirrut Îmwe, Darth Maul (Star Wars)

Gaige (Borderlands)

Hiccup Haddock (How To Train Your Dragon)

Jem Carstairs (The Shadowhunter Chronicles)

Frodo Baggins (Lord of the Rings)

Eichi Tenshouin (Ensemble Stars!!)

Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Bucky Barnes, Professor X, Matt Murdock (Marvel)

Hitori Gotoh (Bocchi the Rock!)

Jace Beleren (Magic: The Gathering)

Joly (Les Misérables)

Nodoka Hanadera (Healin’ Good Precure)

Arthur Lester (Malevolent Podcast)

Hearthstone (Magnus Chase)

Hebe Harrison (Doctor Who)

Hermann Gottlieb (Pacific Rim)

Harry Du Bois (Disco Elysium)

Merle Highchurch (The Adventure Zone)

Elphaba Thropp (Wicked)

Monkey D. Luffy and Roronoa Zoro (One Piece)

Ricky Potts (Ride the Cyclone)

Tokito Minoru (Wild Adapter)

Blade (Honkai Star Rail)

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. we have finally watched the voyager pilot! short verdict: nothing will ever be as good as ds9 but i enjoyed it!!

longer verdict: i will go through it character by character, in order of appearance, saving the maquis crew for when they have more than .5 seconds of screentime in the little opening. this feels like a REALLY big cast, by the way?? am i counting right? 11 recurring characters and we don't even have seven yet? tos has 7 with chapel and rand appearing sometimes, tng had 8 with o'brien and guinan sometimes, ds9 has seven with...man, jake nog rom garak AND keiko as recurring extras, and we don't even have worf yet. so i guess ds9's is technically bigger! anyway.

JANEWAY: i was surprised at how janeway sounded...her voice is different than i expected even though i've heard her be flemeth in dragon age. i was also kind of surprised to see her in the bun and her head looked So Big. like dax's in season 1-2 of ds9. i'm used to seeing her with it down in gifs which looks better but personally i also think she could have rocked the kira cut. that said, i like her so SO much. she has a couple of speeches that remind me VERY strongly of kirk - when she's lamenting harry left his clarinet behind and not getting to know him, when she decided she couldn't sacrifice an entire people to get one ship home. she's got the kind of compassion kirk did - when she pulled up a stool to listen to the caretaker's troubles, when she held his horrible little corpse, she was genuinely filled with real sadness for what had happened there. (as a side note, speaking of tos, the ship voyager also reminds me of the original enterprise WAY more than the tng enterprise was - especially their little cafeteria.) i was really surprised she had a boyfriend, because i feel like i've heard she gets with chakotay! sorry to her bf, she is gonna cheat on you (and i support women's wrongs), but the worst part is the dog. if they pull some odyssey shit with the dog i'm gonna be so upset. ALSO, i love that she insists on "ma'am" instead of sir (that always bugged me) and even that will only do in a pinch. YOU WILL ADDRESS HER AS CAPTAIN. even when her hair fell down she fixed it on her way down the hallway. she's such a badass. when she says she's gonna get them home I BELIEVE HER. she's got an iron fucking nerve and balls made of titanium.

TOM PARIS: i hate this man so much it's insane. i googled to see whether he died and found out he was played by one of those cadets wesley got in trouble with...girl, he was in prison, why not just make him the same guy?? anyway, he was kind of shitty to both harry and chakotay (oh boy we are already being racist to chakotay) and i cannot believe THIS is the man janeway is gonna have salamander babies with. he's extremely obnoxious all the time (him harassing that betazoid lady...fuck off lol) and i just KNOW people are writing paris/chakotay slash because of their whole deal which makes him more annoying. the "your life is mine now" thing is racist as hell. i'm not prepared to sympathetically see this man's hidden depths bc i know that as a snarky white man he already has half of whatever voyager fandom happens to exist doing that for him already. sadly, we will have to put up with him for all seven seasons. LUCKILY, aside from the racism, half of which came from this guy anyway, he was my only real sour note.

HARRY KIM: love this dude. i like how he managed to talk sense into b'elanna when she was wigging out and despite my wishing he didn't have to be friends with tom paris him going "i can pick my own friends" was a great way to show that he's not afraid to stand up for himself. i wish i wasn't feeling so anti-quark lately bc otherwise his scene in the bar with quark (and why is it always quark doing these surprise cameos!!) would've been pretty funny. i think it was a nice touch that harry, on his first EVER mission, got to be the one to deliver the news about how far from home they were. i absolutely love his whole deal of being completely green and meeting everything head-on anyway, he is so brave. as i said before, the way he is just charging through despite being out of his depth reminds me a little of chekov, if chekov had brain cells. he's very charming. i think he and b'elanna could get it also.

HOLOGRAM DOCTOR: he is so funny, i love him. like, i don't really know how he works? is all of medbay a holodeck? but it's kind of hilarious that he's sentient enough to get annoyed when people are randomly beamed away and when people forget to shut him off (he needs a nap!)

CHAKOTAY: oh i am already feeling how rough this is going to be. that "can't you use some magic to turn into a bird and fly away" and also the "your life is mine now" were rrrracist. (that said, "you're too heavy" was a really good comeback.) can we please be normal. that aside: i really like him. i like how quickly he came to grips with the situation and i like how much he hates tom paris (NOT SEXUAL!!! NO!!!!!! i just agree with him) and i especially like that he has a set of titanium balls to match janeway's like did we SEE that doomsday machine-esque suicide run he almost went on? he cut it even closer than kirk did and kirk cut it that close ON ACCIDENT chakotay was yelling at them not to beam his ass back until his ship was already on fucking fire. also, he's very handsome. ALSO, when tom paris asked him "you'd rather die than let me rescue you?" i had to laugh because quite literally 10 seconds prior out of mine own mouth was "if it was death or tom paris i might let go." i really hope there's more to chakotay than "tom paris's antagonistic buddy" because 1. a fate worse than death 2. this is not humans and vulcans this is real life racism you cannot spock and bones this. STOP THAT.

TUVOK: ALSO VERY HANDSOME. very like. he reminds me of spock so much because he's extremely bitchy but also very dialed down about it. i like that leonard nimoy was like yeah im gonna go stupid crazy and all vulcan will be like this from now on, including my funny little eyebrow thing, in which girlies will still see spock long after i'm dead. like what misha collins tried to do with cas but it actually worked. tuvok strikes that perfect balance of dignified and kind of above everyone else without feeling stuck up or prissy (though his scene where he tries so hard not to look at neelix's junk was great, he was justifiably a little prissy there), and with that undercurrent of wryness that nevertheless doesn't truly betray any emotion - you don't get the same sense of repression/unease with the self from him (at least in the pilot, who knows what will happen later) that you do from spock so it doesn't feel like voyager is copying tos's homework, and it feels nice to get to know another vulcan who's gonna be a main character instead of a one-off. i hope they are more normal about a black vulcan than they have been about chakotay so far bc we have got to get out from under all of that. i am a little worried janeway might kill him. i feel like i see people on reddit criticizing her all the time for killing some dude who i am pretty sure is tuvok and like. can someone tell me if he dies if he dies i will be SO mad

B'ELANNA TORRES: she is stupid hot. i'm a little "lol" when she's like yeah my klingon half is HARD TO CONTROL!!! (super saiyan scream of rage) bc like worf does fine (most of the time...) but i will never turn down a chance to watch a beautiful woman be insane with rage. i like how she calls harry kim "starfleet" derisively and then goes out of her way to give him breaks when he needs them and help him up the stairs when he can't make it. big tsundere energy. also like that she was questioning janeway's decisions. not that i disagree with janeway's decisions necessarily i just like that janeway will have to earn her respect from some people the way any male captain would. equality. also, potentially, girlfights.

NEELIX: i forgot to add him to "the things i know about voyager" post because i had only heard him mentioned a couple of times and got the idea he was just a horrible little gremlin there for comic relief. a rygel, if you will. a quark, if you won't. was pleasantly surprised to like him better than rygel and quark combined, though that's a pretty low bar. not only is he clever enough to outsmart the slavers, he was brave and caring enough to go back and rescue his girl. HE RESPECTS WOMEN. also, his water indulgence was pretty hilarious, as was, again, his scene with tuvok. i feel like those two could do straight man funny guy all day long. a dynamic duo. i hope they wind up having screentime together. i don't mind horrible little gremlins so much when they're charming and when they aren't trying to take holosuite videos of kira.

KES: i feel like kes hasn't done much yet except lecture her people on the dangers of having a cult-like mentality. but i like her! she's sweet and compassionate and pretty brave. she does a lot to humanize neelix, at least! maybe it's just me but i feel like she was barely in this. for now i am trusting that they do more with her later. or, idk, maybe they don't. we DO have janeway AND b'elanna AND seven eventually so i can't be too mad about it as long as they're not turning her into a holodeck sex toy like poor deanna

other things of note:

BANJOS? i counted three different southern accents in this section. it would have been offensive if it wasn't so funny. the people holding hands and jumping around in a circle like animated robin hood characters was a great touch. so was the corn on the cob. the emotional whiplash from an otherwise very serious episode was. certainly something.

the empty barn reminded me of this side of paradise <3 i love, in general, how voyager just FEELS a little bit like tos. certainly more than tng did, even more than ds9 does. like this FEELS like it's set in the same universe, it kind of bridges a mental gap between ds9/tng and tos for me, worldbuilding wise.

water thing reminded me of mad max. really good.

slaver aliens.......are these guys really our antagonists?? i thought our antagonists were the borg but maybe we don't do that until seven gets here. i feel like possibly a bunch of semi-primitive people in the desert who enslaved and beat (potentially raped, depending on how you want to interpret that dialogue) a pretty blonde girl is maybe um. not the best idea. maybe they'll get written down into side villains and eventually just guys. like the ferengi. siiigh, the ferengi.

that said, i kind of loved the story of the caretaker and the ocampa, enough that i almost forgot the caretaker was choosing to appear as a banjo-playing hillbilly. i like to think him and his wife were from andromeda like those guys from tos...and it's very nuanced that even after he fucked their planet forever he still didn't really learn to value life because he's kidnapping people and letting them die or stay stranded in order to attempt to procreate. NONETHELESS he is filled with remorse, and janeway's scene with him, comforting him that children could learn to grow on their own, was really sweet. i also like that when he died his little horrible goop body shrank down until it looked like a hunk of dried snot. do not take that to the ocampa.

i just like the PREMISE of voyager. a 75-year journey that they have to cut down by any means possible...it's like the odyssey, but it space. in tos and tng they wandered from place to place but always over the same stomping grounds in general. we have the same old players, like klingons and romulans and vulcans and andorians etc etc. in ds9 we stay in one single place and it's to our benefit because we get deep character work. but voyager is going in a straight line back to earth, and we've never been out here before, so whether or not it lives up to the potential right now it feels like anything truly could happen. we don't be running into the neutral zone and we can't call the klingons for help or stop by quark's for another cameo. we are just out here. it's VERY neat.

major concerns so far include of course tom paris and potentially him being handcuffed to chakotay as banter buddies. racism in general but also with chakotay in particular. and perhaps a lack of interesting points re: kes. rip girl.

stuff i'm looking forward to is janeway getting to be a person instead of A Woman, seven eventually, getting to know chakotay and tuvok better, and the salamander episode, someday.

okay. this concludes my voyager pilot write-up. TONIGHT: "parallax" and "time and again."

[thresholdbb]

For the Star Trek Ask game: 5, 16, 17, 20

5. Episode plot you wish they had handled differently?

Retrospect. I get what they were trying to do after listening to the Delta Flyer's episode about it, but it does not work. The messaging is terrible even in a context prior to Me Too. Don't believe victims; they're lying to you. I think there may have been a way to do an episode about false memories without having serious sexual assault undertones.

The other one would be The Fight. I think the concept of chaotic space is interesting, but the episode is just a hot mess of confusion and space boxing. Maybe if the boxing hadn't come out of nowhere, but Chakotay-centric episodes unfortunately tend to be pretty bad.

16. If you could steal the basic plot of an episode for one show and apply to another which would you choose?

A Deep Space Nine Rascals would be hilarious. Can you imagine little Jadzia with the symbiont, simultaneously a tiny girl and an ancient worm? Julian would probably still be an augment, but how long did his brain take to fully adjust to that change? Kira would get some childhood, like Ro did. We could have a pocket Garak! I don't think O'Brien and Sisko would change much, and Keiko's already been through it. I'm not sure if Odo would change or would he just not be able to de-goo? A mini Weyoun? A tinier, eviler Dukat? Hell, de-age the entire station and make them interact.

Actually I want all the crews to have to interact as children for an episode. Every. Single. One. Even TOS. Even Enterprise.

17. What role would you have aboard a starship?

While I would love a cool job like Captain or First Officer or something, no one has ever trusted me with a management role, though I can give a mean speech. Given my professional background, probably somewhere in communications, though I wouldn't be thrilled about it. Honestly, I'd probably be scrubbing plasma conduits and clearing out the holodeck filters.

20. Which piece of technology do you wish existed in reality?

Replicators. I don't remember who said it, (maybe a behind-the-scenes Trek person?), but their explanation was that replicators are ultimately what enables a Star Trek future. If people don't have to worry about their basic needs being met, they are free to do so many other things. A future where everyone is clothed and fed no matter what would be a good one.

[wanderingwriter87]

Evil Author Day 2023

Not that evil, actually. This scene was part of a planned midquel to "a comma in the middle of a phrase" but it probably stands on its own.

***

He wore his hair longer and looser now - most people did, but he thought it particularly suited him. The traditional military style with the stiff pomade wasn't practical in a post-war bombardment zone. 

Then again, Julian remembered him that way. Would it be wise to appear different in their first face to face conversation since the end of the war?

After a good deal of deliberation, he elected to tie it back so that it wasn't terribly noticeable, but slung the excess over his shoulder so the doctor could comment on it if he wished to. 

"Garak!" Even over the holovid, the sparkle in his eyes was evident. "You look - oh, you look fantastic. The climate must really be doing wonders for you."

"Hmm," said Garak, eloquently. "And you haven't aged a day, I see."

The boyish smile was back. "You're not a very good liar these days, are you? I know I look like hell."

He really didn't.

"You really don't," Garak said. With a casual motion, he flicked the rest of his hair back behind his shoulder. Just as he'd hoped, Julian's eyes followed the movement like it was the springball at a particularly high-stakes match.

"Your hair!" he enthused, jumping a little in his seat. "Is that -" He cut himself off with a laugh. "I'm sorry, I just remembered how you feel about the word ponytail."

"Try comparing the back of any Cardassian's head to the ass of some - beast of burden, and see how it goes for you."

"Don't get me sidetracked! Your hair!"

"Yes, I know."

"It's long!"

"Surely you've noticed the old styles are coming back into fashion since the war. In the end, it was more politically expedient to blend in than to keep styling it the way I used to."

"Oh, I'm certain that's all you were thinking! It suits you."

"You think so?"

"Very much," Julian murmured. "Do you ever braid it? You know, like Dr. Parmak?"

"I haven't," Garak said. It was close enough to the truth. "It's…unusual to do, except under particular circumstances. It's known to have a sort of spiritual significance. Parmak started doing it to himself years ago as a sort of political statement, and it became a signature look for the dissidents of the time. I don't know how it would come across if I started doing it."

"Well, maybe just in private then," said Julian, leaning in a little closer. "I'm quite good with my hands, you know."

"Are you trying to seduce me into letting you braid my hair?"

"Why, is it working?"

"You are an exceedingly strange man."

"Look, I just like doing it. It's soothing. And I haven't dated anyone with long hair in a while so I -"

He very clearly realized what he'd said and stopped abruptly, eyes widening. He swallowed dryly, and Garak sat there watching him, just letting him suffer. The councilor didn't bother hiding the little smile that tugged at his lips, though. 

"I just mean," Julian said at last, everything coming out in a breathless rush, "I just mean it can be a bit intimate so I wouldn't just go around - but you I have been - well, we've known each other a long time and it's not -"

"Doctor -"

"I know we've been - I know we've always - you know, and I figured, well, you practically begged me to come to Cardassia so -"

"I did not beg!" Garak exclaimed. 

"- and I'm not saying I didn't want to, I really, really do, but I - I always come on too strong. And it always ruins everything."

"Doctor…" No. "Julian…"

That got his attention. His head snapped up, eyes still wild and anxious. 

"Julian, you won't scare me off. Surely you know that by now."

"You say that…"

"And I mean it. When we met, I was numb. It was all just a buzz of white noise and nothing. You were the first thing that felt real. Even after you brought me back to the land of the living, I wanted…I always wanted more. More conversation, more of your time, more of your smiles and prying questions and fits of righteous anger. It was never, ever too much. You were never too much."

The look of raw emotion on Julian's face was almost too much to bear. Garak understood now, he thought, why the doctor had been reluctant to call. The urge to touch him, to soothe him in some way that words couldn't, twisted like a knife in his ribs. 

"Elim," he said, like he was trying out the taste of it. "I…"

"You were right," Garak cut in. "As much as it pains me to say it. This is - too difficult to discuss remotely. We'll come back to it when you arrive planetside."

Julian looked dazed. He nodded. "Okay," he said. "Yes. But I…"

"I know," said Garak firmly. "Please, Julian. Not now."

Annoyance seeped into his expression. "This was your idea, you know."

"Yes, and I really did want to discuss logistics. You're the one who got things off track."

"You flipped your hair at me! What was I supposed to do, not mention it? You'd never forgive me."

"Doctor, please. We need to discuss your accommodations."

"Starfleet's providing a stipend."

"Yes," Garak said, amused. "I'm the one who arranged for it. The money isn't the issue."

"Alright."

"I did attempt to reserve an apartment for you in the high-rise across from the Project, but there must have been some kind of mix-up, because they've filled all the spots again. Thankfully I have space for a guest until things are cleared up. If you don't object, of course - then you could set aside the stipend and use it for other expenses as they come up."

"Some kind of mix-up!" Julian echoed, with a grin. "Garak, you're unbelievable."

"I'm inviting you to be my guest, dear. You could be a little more polite."

"You're asking me to move in with you, is what you're doing. I can't believe I thought I was coming on too strong."

"Doctor, I'm offended."

"How many beds do you have, Garak?"

"...I was going to acquire another."

"You absolutely fucking weren't."

"I was! Just - only if you seemed put off by it."

"Oh my God."

"I didn't think you would be. You've been throwing yourself at me in your postscripts for a week now."

"That is hardly the point!"

"What is your point?"

"I don't know! I suppose that I'm just annoyed with myself for being so anxious about this whole situation when you're just as bad as I am. What an absurd pair we make."

"I'm not certain I appreciate that framing, but you seem to be feeling exceptionally fragile this evening, so I'll allow it."

Julian rolled his eyes. "Oh, thank you. I know you Cardassians are made of sterner stuff, so I'm grateful for the consideration."

[incognitotoro]

prompt for garashir: garashir first kiss happening at an unlikely time. this can be whatever that means to you (perhaps it’s during a scenario where a kiss/first kiss would be unlikely, perhaps it’s just kind of a surprise to one or both of them, perhaps it’s during an ep or a scene from an ep that isn’t a usual backdrop for garashir getting together fics… or any other way you want to interpret this prompt)

Hiya anon, you'll be happy to know you are officially responsible for my first foray into Garashir, and also my first ever slash fic.

I wanted to pick the most ridiculous episode possible to set this to, so here we go, Garashir first kiss during 'Who Mourns for Morn' (The Magnificent Ferengi was a close second but I couldn't figure out how to do it)

Enjoy :)

One Way to Mourn (AO3)

“So Keep it warm, for Morn,” said Quark solemnly, pulling out the stool and gesturing to a Bajoran who looked both proud and unnerved to have been chosen for the honor. The man sat down gingerly to a small, somewhat subdued round of applause, and just like that the formalities were over, and the conversation bubbled back up into a respectful buzz that filled the bar.

“I just can’t believe he’s gone,” said Jadzia for what must have been the tenth time today.

“I know,” sighed Keiko, who’d appeared at Miles’ elbow partway through Quark’s speech, “It’s amazing how many people are here though, isn’t it? I swear I’ve never even seen some of them before!”

“Morn did have a certain… magnetism,” said Jadzia, with a twinkle in her eye that wasn’t lost on Worf, who scowled and huffed, but mercifully said nothing.

“That he did,” said Miles.

For Julian’s part, Morn had been less of a magnet than a much needed constant fixture on this bustling melting pot of a station, but his absence somehow felt like the straw that broke the camel’s back in this seemingly endless war. Once, a million years ago, Quark had said; ‘when Morn leaves, it’s all over’, and at the moment it felt true in a way, like everything before this had been part of a different life. Or perhaps he shouldn’t have had that large whiskey with Miles before they’d come here. He knew that whiskey made him morose, but it was a toast to Morn, so how could he possibly have said no?

Miles launched into an action packed anecdote about the time they’d invited Morn to join them in the holosuites for the Battle of Britain. Catastrophe had inevitably ensued, and it was a great story, but Julian had heard it before- he was there for god’s sake, and that was how he managed to spot someone lurking just beyond the bar’s threshold, hovering as if he hadn’t made a decision about whether to enter yet.

“Garak,” he called, waving, “Join us,”

Once upon a time this would have caused a few raised eyebrows, but a lot had happened in the last several years, hell, a lot had happened in the last few weeks, and now, when Miles, Keiko and Jadzia saw him they smiled and beckoned him in, even Worf gave him a terse, but not unfriendly nod.

“Why were you lurking?” asked Julian as Garak crossed the room to join them.

“I resent that, Doctor,” sniffed Garak, “Lurking, honestly,”

“Hovering then,” he said with a smirk.

“If you must know, I wasn’t sure I’d be welcome.” He said in short, clipped tones. “I know how much trouble the Major went through to ensure my presence wouldn’t cause any trouble at- at Ziyal’s service,”

“It’s hardly the same, Garak,” said Keiko gently.

“Yeah, this is Quark’s anyway,” Miles added decidedly less gently, “Nothing’s sacred here.”

“I resent that.” Said Quark, appearing as if from nowhere between Jadzia and Worf with a new tray of drinks to set on their table.

“Fine, fine, I take it back,” muttered Miles, “Latinum is sacred, right?”

“As it should be,” said Quark, “But I was obviously referring to Morn’s memorial stool. Really, Chief, have a little sensitivity.” And with that he disappeared again, leaving Miles grumbling under his breath and the rest of them smirking.

“Even so,” said Garak, “I know that my last interaction with Morn wasn’t exactly cordial.”

“Oh, that’s right,” said Jadzia, eyes wide with the prospect of gossip, “The comment about the-”

“Yes.”

“Oh, Garak,” cooed Keiko, her arm on Garak’s. “That must be so hard for you,”

Garak smiled tightly at Keiko, but before he could reply Ensign Bergstrom, who had been standing silently until now on Jadzia’s other side, suddenly let out a burst of almost hysterical laughter, then slapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. All of them stared for a moment, then she let out another laugh, which quickly turned into a giggle.

“I- I’m sorry, I-” she managed between breathless, hiccoughing laughs, “I don’t- I don’t know what-”

“Come on, Susan,” said Keiko, throwing her arm around the Ensign’s shoulders, “We’ll go somewhere quieter.”

Ensign Bergstrom nodded, and the two of them shuffled off while the rest of the bar gave them strange looks as she continued to giggle.

“That was disrespectful.” Said Worf, breaking the silence.

“Worf!” hissed Jadzia.

“It was disrespectful.”

“Worf, it’s not that simple,” said Julian, “People have all sorts of reactions to grief.”

“Right,” said Miles, “I had a cousin that used to laugh like that. My aunt used to stare daggers at anyone who’d make something of it.” Jadzia nodded with a small, sad smile.

“One of my previous hosts used to, too.”

“Curzon?” asked Julian.

“Emony actually, though I can see why you’d think it was Curzon.”

“I bet Curzon was one of those who just wants to do anything to feel alive” said Miles, draining his glass, “Drink, laugh, the -uh- other thing.”

Jadzia chuckled and tapped the side of her nose, making the rest of them smirk into their drinks.

“He and Morn had that in common,” she said, a little wistfully, ignoring Worf’s obvious displeasure, “They certainly did live.”

“At funerals though?!” exclaimed Kira, who had entered the conversation at the worst possible time.

“Not at the funeral obviously,” said Miles. Jadzia nodded, but Julian thought she was conspicuously silent. He couldn’t blame her, under the circumstances.

“Regardless, pretty much any reaction to grief is acceptable,” said Julian, slipping unconsciously into ‘bedside manner’ mode. “It affects everyone differently.”

“Laughing though? It does seem a little… unseemly,” said Garak, “On Cardassia-”

“Oh, let me guess,” scoffed Julian, “On Cardassia, no one ever laughs, drinks or the ‘other thing’ unless the state sanctions it?”

“Not at funerals,” he said primly, in that sing-song voice that he always used when he was spewing state-sponsored lies that even he didn’t believe. Infuriating man.

“I don’t believe that for a second,”

“Julian’s right,” said Jadzia loudly, pointedly interrupting their bickering. “We’re all missing Morn, and Ensign Bergstrom was seeing him for nearly six months, they were really close even after the breakup, so we’ve no right to judge.”

“Hear hear.” Said Miles gruffly, to murmured agreement from most of their group.

It wasn’t until much later, when the crowds has thinned and the mood had subdued a little, that Miles (somewhat unsteadily after all their toasts to Morn) left Julian and Garak alone so that Morn’s stool wouldn’t be left empty. They were sitting almost underneath the staircase, shielded a little from the other mourners and bustling Ferengi waiters, and Julian was feeling pleasantly fuzzy. He had his genetic enhancements to thank for the fact that he wasn’t flat on his face after matching Miles almost drink for drink, and that he wouldn’t have a hangover tomorrow, but he was definitely feeling it, and he was also feeling a lot of what he could only describe in his inebriated state as; swoopy, teenage feelings. No, it was worse than that.

Swoopy, teenage feelings at a funeral.

Garak was talking about something, but Julian wasn’t listening, he was watching, enraptured as Garak’s features rose and fell and undulated like the tide with the cadence of his voice, his eyes twinkling in the low light. It wasn’t like the way Jadzia’s eyes twinkled, all mischief and flirtation, no, this was as if he was pleased with himself for getting away with something, and if you had figured that much out then he was either going to kill you or-

Oh yes, Julian was definitely drunk.

“Do you really think it’s that unseemly?” he asked suddenly, “Wanting to feel alive to cope when you’ve lost someone?”

“Really, Doctor,” he scoffed, affronted, “You do insist on misquoting me, don’t you? I merely said that laughing hysterically was somewhat-”

“Unseemly?”

“Perhaps.”

“Only perhaps?”

He pursed his lips, rolled his eyes and took a long, indulgent sip of his kanar. It was such a ridiculously Garak thing to do, that Julian couldn’t help but smirk.

“My dear Doctor, if you haven’t figured out the concept of grey areas after everything we’ve been through, then you are far more naive then I had realized.”

“I understand grey areas,” grunted Julian, a little sulkily, “You are a fucking grey area, Garak.”

“If that’s some sort of crude comment about the colour of my skin-”

“What? No, of course it wasn’t- ugh.” He sighed and slumped in his seat, defeated. “I just meant that you- you don’t make much of an effort to be understood.”

“Is that a problem?” asked Garak with a shit-eating grin. (An expression which Julian had, on one memorable but deeply frustrating occasion tried unsuccessfully to explain to him, and since then had vowed never to speak aloud in case it reopened that conversation)

“Oh, fuck off,” he said, smiling despite himself. “You know I love it really.”

Silence.

A second, passed, and then Julian realised what he had just said.

“I- I mean-”

Garak watched him, seeming amused and eager to hear how he was going to dig himself out of this one. Hell, Julian was just as eager to see how he was going to dig himself out.

“I-”

“Feckin’… Didn’t realise the time…” Miles exploded into the conversation like a whiskey scented hurricane and hurriedly grabbed his jacket from the chair besides Julian. “Gotta get back home.”

“See you tomorrow,” called Julian, chuckling when Miles waved but didn’t turn, clearly all too aware that every second that passed was another second that Keiko had to think about exactly how late he was.

Still smiling, he turned to Garak, who was now watching him with a strange expression, head cocked like a curious puppy. (Garak? A puppy?! A curious panther might have been a better comparison, but Julian apparently had bigger problems than inappropriate metaphors.)

“You were saying, Doctor?” he asked, deadly calm and suspiciously pleasant.

“I was saying…” Julian trailed off, feeling exceptionally stupid. What exactly had he been saying?

You know I love it really.

And shit, he did love it.

And Morn was dead, and he wasn’t, and neither was Garak.

And before he really knew what he was doing, Julian was leaning forward, time moving too fast and too slow all at once.

Garak’s mouth was slightly open, his brow ridges raised in surprise, and his whole body froze when their lips met. He tasted like kanar, and the extra texture on his skin was odd, but not unpleasant, almost like he was just kissing someone with chapped lips, and then, the realisation like icewater in his veins, it hit Julian that he was kissing Garak. What the-

What was he doing?!

His eyes slammed open and he wrenched himself away.

“Oh- oh god, I’m so sorry, I-”

“Doctor-”

“That- that was- I’m sorry-”

“Doctor,”

“What?”

Garak was looking at him like he’d never seen him before, the only sign that everything was not utterly completely normal, the rapid rise and fall of his chest and his wide, suddenly dark eyes.

“If you apologise one more time, I may have to kill you.” He said softly.

“I-”

“Be quiet, Doctor Bashir.”

“Ok.”

And then Garak was kissing him with such breathtaking intensity that he thought he might literally melt right there in the bar.

The bar in which a funeral had just been held.

Oh dear god, he was worse than Curzon Dax.

But dear god, he felt like he was finally living.

[dragontamerno3]

DS9 S3 E2 - The Search Part 2

This episode was MUCH better. I mean, there were several parts that pissed me the fuck off but they were very much intended to so I'm not holding that against the show. The writing and acting did what they were supposed to lol

The BIG reveal was obvious to me the second Odo became obsessed with a random planet/part of space but part of me was wondering if they were as terrifying as everyone implied. People become legends, stories passed on to make them more terrifying than they really are so that no one would bother them, etc.

I do know the Dominion are the "bad guys", at least for a while, but the distance the Shifters had with Kira and the way they implied they had been hunted, I briefly assumed that something would happen to Odo's people and the Jem'hadar would take over or something else just as tragic. But it became clear by their weird standoffish-ness that my first idea of them being the bad guys was right.

Odo made up for his nonsense from the previous episode in this one and it was kinda cute to watch how he reacted to being a vulture for a while, but I haven't 100% forgiven him. I understand that they programmed something in him to return "home" so he couldn't avoid some of it but he didn't need to be as whiny as he was before even getting to the Gamma Quadrant.

Also, Kira talking to nothing was adorable. While the whole crew was technically on the planet with them, I'm honestly glad it was Kira that got to experience Odo's first time interacting with his people given they're relationship. I still don't see how those two can ever become romantic (since I know its a thing in the future) because they're the bestest of buds to me, though.

I didn't pick up on the fact that it was a simulation but it was super obvious that something was up. It was too neat and tidy that Jadzia and Miles found them all the while the Founders were supposed to be making a treaty with the Federation? That and how all the Federation folks that weren't part of the Defiant crew were acting super suspicious? I thought it was some kind of telepathic mind control, tbh. I mean Admiral Nechayev is terrible all the time in a very "The Federation always knows best" kinda way. She believes far too much that name dropping the Federation alone will do the job so it took a moment to notice her shit was off but everyone else was definitely up to no good.

I am glad we got more of TRul, I was worried they killed her after the Defiant battle. And I like how while she was clearly pissed at the Federation for locking the Romulans out of the treaty when shit hit the fan she ran directly for Sisko, someone she at least somewhat trusted.

Hell, I like it when all the crew turned to Sisko when shit got to be too much. When Miles was attacked for no reason and when Jadzia got a note of her transfer. Or when (imaginary) Garak turned to Sisko cause he too noticed that it was all way too much. He's obviously their Commander so the one in charge as far as they're concerned but they trust so much they were willing to risk their jobs (and lives) to defy Starfleets orders.

Sisko's speech in the office over the fact that the treaty was super unbalanced and a bunch of bull shit was perfect, as his speeches tend to be. I love me a good monologue and he once again nailed it.

I 100% supported Sisko shutting down the wormhole and I'm glad the others were, too, even if it did make me wonder how Kira and Odo got back. I love that Garak was the one that kinda lit the spark under Sisko to do it though.

And when Garak got shot? And for half a second Bashir had to fight the urge to grab him/stay with him before running? My gay heart.

Anyway, solid episode, I'm glad this one was much better than the last one.

7/10

[bijoumikhawal]

I was whining and bitching to my friends recently about book vs TV aziraphale and how the latter doesn't have the same bite- book Aziraphale is a bitch and that's why I like him- and bringing up that I think Aziraphale and Garak are similar characters (and that I have a similar problem with how McCormack writes Garak) is making me. Think about Aziraphale and violence again and the weird specific read I have of his character

I had these thoughts the first go around with Good Omens but I wasn't very good at dealing with them, but Aziraphale is really interesting because there's a good deal of like. Implied violence to his character. We joke sometimes about how down he was with child murder as a backup plan, but it's not just that.

Aziraphale was the Guardian of the Eastern Gate, which naturally has a lot of fanon about him having originally been a Cherub demoted to Principality. Cherubim are like... g-d there's so much about them. They draw the chariot of G-d, they carry G-d into battle, they are protectors- the same type of creature as lamassu (anthropologically speaking), they are divine monsters (and I say this as a religious bitch with love, they're incomprehensible and have distinctly inhuman, awe-some manifestations, but let's not get too carried away with my esoteric bullshit). To be blunt, they are associated with fighting.

The act which is thought to demote Aziraphale is giving away his sword. This creates War at the same time as Crowley... not creates Death, I suppose, but draws its attention. Aziraphale is, on a metaphysical level, the father of War.

Both Heaven and Hell are violent systems, though the book partially obscures the violence of Heaven by having it be literally quieter, in the narrative. Aziraphale is still part of a violent system and still serves it. Giving away his sword did not abdicate him from having to serve. He had certainly carried out violence in Heaven's name before. Aziraphale also has more faith in his 'side' than Crowley- he thinks if only he can explain to a superior, get them on the line and talk, they'll see destroying Earth is a bad idea! And if you do subscribe to the cherubim interpretation, part of this is probably because he views a level of relation between him and them as someone formerly high ranked.

Given that its also really notable that in the book, Aziraphale is incredibly indirect about violence. When they're at their last resort option with Adam, he directs Shadwell to take care of it. It's strongly implied he might've killed several mafia members for trying to bully him into selling his shop, but never actually stated. Things like that. Aziraphale is not comfortable getting his hands dirty- maybe he did it in the past, and can't bear it now, maybe he never was comfortable with it. Who knows.

And that makes me think it's also really notable that when Aziraphale makes his last stand, he picks up his sword again. I don't know what it is that's notable, but...

Anyway TL;DR book Aziraphale has strong veteran/ex military vibes for me

[tokidokifish]

garashir for ship asks!!!

HELL YEAH HERE WE GO TIME FOR SOME ~CONFESSIONS~

What made you ship it?

i don't know. listen - you may think i'm being oblique. but the fact is i heard about garashir LONG before i ever got into ds9, we're talking YEARS back; i can't even remember who i knew that shipped it, because it was just that long ago. i even tried reading a fanfic, though i can't remember what it was or even where it was, because this might have predated ao3. like even before i got into the show, something about that pairing Appealed To Me. and then, of course, i DID watch the show and Whoo Boy. i mean have you SEEN them interact. i think, honestly, what sealed the deal for me - what got be truly invested - was - well, for one thing, i tend to automatically rebel against relationships that the canon WANTS to happen; even if it's a relationship i end up liking it takes me a while to come around to it bc i'm so burned out on the vibe of "he was a guy, she was a girl, can i make it any more obvious?" that so many het romances get slapped with. i'm always looking for the characters that have the most chemistry (in my opinion) and goddamn call those bitches a science department because they have maybe the most chemistry of any two characters in that show. they challenge each other in the best way! and they just LIKE each other. what a novelty! i've got my fondness for the whole slap-slap-kiss trope, but god do shows and movies rely on it way too much these days, gag. so to have these two characters which, yeah, snip at each other sometimes, but very genuinely enjoy each other's company?? sublime. love it.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

well, i think i got into it a bit with the "they just like each other", but i think i especially like that garak liked julian right from the start. like oh, yeah, garak obviously had ulterior motives for approaching julian at first, but after that he just - continued to seek out his company! i've stated it a lot in my fics but just the fact that garak alone never seemed to find julian irritating when like everyone else on the station did, even if they came around to it - like i'm not one of those people that's like "the character you see yourself most in + the character you're most attracted to is your favorite pairing" bc i think it's bullshit, but as someone who is Very Annoying and is used to driving people away, oh god the idea of being just simply ACCEPTED by someone is like. a fuckin. drug. it's honestly probably the biggest reason i have trouble shipping julian with anyone else, even though i do enjoy his relationship with miles and i especially like writing him and kira becoming close in the later seasons. and, again, the fact that garak and julian do challenge each other, and they reflect one another in such interesting ways - and, of course, they are sooooooo normal about one another even in the context of a show that WASN'T writing them as romantically involved. 's good. 's a good ship.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

certainly it's not unpopular amongst the garashir girlies - but obviously i consider the idea that their relationship is at all "unhealthy" complete bullshit. like i made a whole post about it. genuinely i cannot even understand the mindset - other than, of course, because garak is a "bad man" (also something i disagree with, but whatever) he cannot have healthy relationships. he's "evil", so all of his relationships must be toxic. just lol. lmao, even. i think my most unpopular opinion is that i find it VERY hard to picture them hooking up early in the series and then having a relationship on the side. like it's not a deal-breaker in terms of fics, but just not my cup of tea, yanno? i think there's attraction and affection from the get, but i think PEAK garashir happens after ips/bil, and especially after dbip, when i feel like they'd've truly come to understand one another (as much as they need to, obviously; i think a big part of the garashir relationship is the idea that garak will always have secrets and julian is fine with that (is that why people think it's toxic?)). oh also i think people who shrink the age difference are cowards. they're both grown-ass adults! let them have their 20+ age gap! it's a charm point!

[sapphosewrites]

It's time again for my one true love... an ask game. Thank you for the tag @o0anapher0o! This is one I have done before and I am sure as hell not going to let that stop me from talking about myself.

How many works do you have on AO3?

143! The next big milestone will be 150 if I ever post again lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

436,802 holy cow that is a lot of words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

It's DS9 all day over here right now! I have also written for Good Omens, Queen's Thief, Tales of Symphonia, and Next Gen and Lower Decks.

4. Top 5 Fics By Kudos

I'm always interested in if the answer to this has changed, because sometimes it does in unexpected ways. Confess Nothing always tops the list, but this time it's only ahead by 2 with All's Fair in Love, War, and Show Business close behind. I'm really surprised to see Personnel Review in third place, because Garak doesn't even personally show up in that one and I always got the sense TNG was much less popular. Fourth place is Lost in Translation, which is not at all surprising. But fifth place does surprise me: It Isn't Perfect (But It's Ours)! Those Good Omens fics really snuck up there while I wasn't looking. (I think Season 2 release, even if I haven't posted anything new, did drive a spike in that fandom.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to and I want to but there are 200 unread comments in my inbox right now and I simply have too much ADHD to deal with that, and then I don't respond to new ones because it's overwhelming and the problem is self-perpetuating. I've read them all in my email notifications, and they've made me smile and laugh and experience great joy! But I am overwhelmed about the idea of trying to reply.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Last time I answered this I hadn't ever written something with an angsty ending, but now with certainty I can say it's Like a pain, the truth is mine in the Terok Nor AU, which is all about Garak's developing addiction to the wire and exploration of self-harm to trigger it. Second place goes to I'd Like to Give Up Now and When All Kindness Has Gone. The interesting thing about all of these, though, is that they exist within the larger framework of what the reader already knows will happen next in canon, which is Garak will survive and make connections with others on the station and it isn't the end of the world that it feels like for him. So does that still count?

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not coincidentally, I'd probably say it's my two most kudos'd DS9 fics, Confess Nothing and Lost in Translation.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

The closest I've ever come to hate is someone commenting that I had a major tonal shift in the middle of a piece of writing, and they were correct. I have found the fandom to be incredibly kind, supportive, and generous.

9. Do you write smut?

SO once upon a time the answer to this was no but now we are inching our way towards a yes. I made a sock puppet account where I could experiment with writing more explicitly (it's lovely to have so many user subscriptions but also feels like a lot of pressure) and what I've found is there's simply not much more explicit that I'll go, but I'm trying.

10. Craziest crossover

The entirety of Thief Space 9, and of those specifically probably Spaceships and Gods.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Again, lovely fandom, beautiful people! I also have a standing policy that my works are a sandbox anyone can play in, so I have had remixes and things inspired by my work, but that's done with full permission and people bringing their own creative twists.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, that's the last thing outstanding on my 'bucket list', so to speak! My dreams were to have my fic inspire art, other fic, podfic, and translation, and we've achieved all but the last.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes and I'm a very bad co-author because there's a fic that's sat unfinished for actual literal years now and I'm not doing my part to finish it.

14. All time favorite ship?

I think I have an all-time favorite ship dynamic, which is any ship where one character could with both deep love and complete sincerity say to the other "I hate you, you're the worst person I know" as a form of foreplay.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I fear we're living in a world where I never finish anything ever again, but in particular there's one fic I posted to aforementioned sock puppet account specifically because I thought it might get permanently abandoned and I didn't want people knowing it was me if that happened because I am a coward

16. What are your writing strengths?

You know, the answer to this has changed! It used to just be dialogue, but now I'd like to think it's also my willingness to experiment with form/format and use even little moments to poke at big questions.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Look, I'm never going to be a writer of lush descriptions. We've come a long way, but settings are actually the worst.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Hasn't changed- translate it if your POV character would understand it, leave it untranslated if they wouldn't. The point of how you write is to communicate information and convey emotion and whatever else to your audience, not to show off your conlang abilities.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

I think I've shared this before, but I wrote a self-insert ship fic with Shadow the Hedgehog for my older sibling for Sonic Adventure 2 Battle when I was far too young.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I can't answer this. This is a cruel question. Um, at this exact moment in time, possibly Comparative Literature?

Well, there's more information than anyone wanted or needed, but now you have it! You all should do it too so I look slightly less narcissistic. @hellostuffedtiger @ectogeo-rebubbles @ernmark but also you know, anyone who wants to! Whenever I have to tag I immediately forget every single person who exists on this website.

[noitsbecky127]

rebecca watches ds9: if wishes were horses

odo and quark’s hatred of each other is so funny

jake uses the holosuite to play baseball. iconic tbh

julian please give it up. jadzia is not into you

why don’t you fuck a cardassian tailor and maybe you’ll feel better

where’s garak anyway? we haven’t seen him since that one episode

HI MOLLY

god she’s so adorable

ah she’s gotten old enough to play the “i’m not tired” game every night. i vaguely remember doing that with my parents

go back to bed molly

i love her little onesie

fuck dude rumplestiltskin sure is in her room!

so far we’ve got rumplestiltskin and a baseball man. what else will there be?

lovey-dovey jadzia apparently!

i love how at first julian was peaceful about it and then he properly wakes up and goes “this is NOT supposed to be happening”

he’s so bewildered lmao

oh ok bokai isn’t real. glad i found that out before i texted my dad about him

this is an EXTREMELY awkward moment for both julian and jadzia

ah so these things can blink out of existence as easily as they blinked into it

why tf is it snowing on the promenade. who thought of that

why are there ANIMALS here, who thought of THAT

“ladies and gentlemen and all androgynous creatures” diversity win

of course quark’s imagination is just horniness

i’m impressed that julian can still be in the same room as jadzia after that. i think i’d be requesting a transfer if my crush saw my fantasies of her. or maybe just outright faking my death

ah yeah ig jadzia has a pretty good understanding of men!

oh christ the other jadzia is back

the hanoli system was destroyed. you probably want to avoid that happening here

rumplestiltskin if you lay a finger on molly i will reach through the screen and end you

they don’t play baseball in the 24th century??? that’s bullshit. i’m calling bullshit. dads everywhere would fight against that. i’m gonna text my dad telling him about this and see what he thinks

wait so who or what are these beings exactly? what’s their goal here?

won’t the torpedos just make the rupture eat you

ig they’re betting on them NOT doing that! very good plan. 10/10

emu war part 2 over here

who tf is just thinking about Fire

kira was that you thinking about Fire

quark the girls are Not Real

ah odo is imagining jailed quark. that makes sense yeah

is julian doing anything to help jadzia or is he just there for emotional support

oh there’s fake jadzia again

did that work?

there’s still nine minutes left in the episode so there must still be something left to fix

don’t know what any of this technobabble means but it sounds like something bad

that explosion looked like something bad

rip fake dax

god dammit real dax

damn the power of imagination is a hell of a thing

ah, fake dax survived!

and then vanished ofc

oh ok, so they’re weird gamma quadrant creatures

that sure was an episode!

[unlimitedhorsepower]

my personal star trek rating, like just the moods the series have left on me. not an objective list btw just my enjoyment

discovery (just cant get better than this. the essence of what people claim star trek is about but then they critique it to hell and back bc its different than older trek even though it never fumbles as bad as old trek. imo. its flawed of course but cmon.)

prodigy (genuinely great kids cartoon that is enjoyable to watch and also respects its source material. it gave me janeway that voyager itself couldnt. best janeway characterization unironically)

the next generation (solid establishment of star trek staples so i gotta recognize it. albeit also has many very dated and bad episodes. i understand why its a classic despite the many bad episodes too)

lower decks (fumbling start with bigotry jokes and some jokes in poor taste in general but it evolves into a solid adult cartoon that cares about its source material)

enterprise (extremely flawed but it amuses me and it was going somewhere.... then it got cancelled ofc and worst ending of any star trek. great vulcan episodes though. i wish they couldve done their original vision. the opening amuses me.)

deep space nine (bigotry in the narrative killed me coupled with the cult classic status that gave me a huge shock. what did they do to my beautiful queens and why did every1 become turbohetero. arghhhh also i cant stop thinking abt weird woman treatment in general. and them separating garak and julian bc it was too gay. what was that about. god)

voyager (squandered potential to the max. sometimes watching it felt like pulling teeth. genuinely. not even annoyed it was just so mediocre not even trying to do anything with its cool setup and format)

the original series (extremely dated and often super uncomfortable to watch for me but has nice lighting. i can respect it as the origin but i genuinely do not like it all and i hate the claims that its the purest best star trek or w/e)

the animated series (its both ugly & extremely dated and i hate it deeply it makes me unhappy.)

still picard left. lol

addendum: i forgot about SNW. i dont enjoy it greatly unfortunately. i would probably place it below VOY