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seventh-district · 3 days

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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh

#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr 2.2 #hsr spoilers #hsr leaks #the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am #i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before #but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one #so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days #it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me #but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and #gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it #and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story #not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know #but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game #anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream #pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we #i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing #Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it #and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet #also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good #Seven.txt #viddy game stuff

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echo-s-land · 5 days

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It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care

#vent ig #i wish i could #but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i #wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the #short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent #but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar #and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie #we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant #the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and #'im not even remotely interested by any of you'#its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT #NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up #on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.)#anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point)#am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as #a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened #i hate feeling apathetic #and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them #cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life

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acoldsovereign · 1 month

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{{ i realized I only posted about it once on the old blog, made a single post here explaining why I moved blogs/remade this account and then privated it because I didn't want to have that negativity hanging over said new blog but uh-

Hi, hello mutuals-- It's me, Tina, lol. I remade my blog and moved from @coldsovereign-a (which is archived now) to here-- @acoldsovereign. I did it because the old blog stopped feeling good to log into.

And, I didn't want to give up so easily. I love Maiz too much and I didn't want this singular, creepy ass, racist, jerk-hole asshat from ruining her/my RP experience. There were other irl/personal issues going on around the same time too and it fucked with my muse majorly. 😭

I apologize if I suddenly seemed like I "disappeared" (and then reappeared) without explanation! I wanted to move on from what happened to me quickly and in the process of that, I uh, forgot about common courtesy for a while. My bad. (Tbh, I just wanted a new home for my girl so I could fully enjoy her again. Glad to say I'm back in the swing of writing her, so the move did help!)

Anyway, more RP stuff coming soon. Yay!

#OOC: Out of Limits #{{ a conversation with a mutual just reminded me that I did NOT do a good job of actually saying what was wrong/didn't explain i remade-#{{ so yee. my bad. lmao. I'll be better about that. i feel a little better about the whole situation and other stuff now tho.#{{ but long story short i was way too accommodating to an asshole who didn't deserve it.#{{ and he like used my personal issues and turned it against me. all bc i wanted to be nice and patient and kind.#{{ i already forgave myself for not seeing red flags so this isn't about that. but the reason why i dealt with that is bc #{{ i have a complex around wanting so hard to not be a monster bc you know. sociopathy fucking sucks. i want to FEEL. and cry. and be kind.#{{ the latter parts are EXCEEDINGLY difficult for me and with my social conditioning as a woman it's hell. i want to genuinely be kind but.#{{ not to everyone. and women are given hell if we dare to be selfish and say “no”. having a hard life growing up helps none.#{{ but anyway-- like i said before i talked to some mutuals about it and i was told i did nothing wrong. so I'm okay.#{{ but I'll be stricter with who i want to interact with because of this event. until i can soften myself up again. and feel safe.

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todayisafridaynight · 6 months

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i dont get how daigo could be bitchy and moody while wearing a puffer like . my brother in christ do you even know how silly you look rn trying to be emo in a puffer

#snap chats #looked at myself for too long and was about to have my Daily Required Evil Monologue but i just look too goofy with this thing on LMAO #its cold as hell. all the time. if i draw daigo in his puffer at some point this will be why #but yeah bro i cant sulk when i look like the michelin man like cmon #thats how i know daigo aint been around a mirror in Ever......#ough i wanna play gaiden now wait. coliseum calls to me......#i should eat tho UGH i dont know what to eat tho.#my heart always tells me to go with the pork floss onigiri but i already had one today #technically i eat two a day so i colud make another one but it'd feel weird only eating One..#but then i'd have had three rice balls and i dont like the number three... do we see my overly-convoluted dilemma...#ill prob cave and make two anyway. if im so tbh.#Come What May tomorrow my kirby onigiri case is coming in :) oh yeah i bought one of those. after being influenced. by bestie </3 #OK BYE what the fuck am i gonna do oho my god i wanted to draw but now coliseum but now food bu

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vampirebutterflies · 1 year

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actually I’m gonna bitch here for a sec like WHY is being disabled so expensive like I have very good healthcare and thank fuck for rebates but !!! still!!!!

main bullshittery bugging me rn though is the absolutely unrelenting fatphobia (and so many layers of ableism) in anything to do with hashimotos

like it is FUCKING infuriating to have this constant rhetoric of “you have hashimotos?? here’s how to stop being so FAT and UGLY! (:” “here’s how to LOSE WEIGHT with hashimotos!!” “15 tips to drop 15 kilos!!!” “got hashimotos? comment HELP ME or dm to get access to my private HASHI WEIGHT LOSS group!!!” “best diets to lose weight with hashimotos!!”

even the ones that sneak this shit into otherwise decent resources you’ll have a good run of beneficial info punctuated by “oh you’re probably balding and ugly and fat but that’s okay!!! we EMBRACE body positivity here!! by bullying you into being skinny and fitting our beauty standards so you can finally love yourself!!!!” “link in bio for my best selling book HASHI HELL TO HEALED HEAVEN: HOW I SAVED MYSELF FROM BEING FAT AND BALDING AND UGLY AND TURNED INTO THE PERFECT THIN BEACHY BABE!” Violence violence violence murder maiming killing arson destruction FUCK

#it’s midnight thirty I’m tired I have a headache I’m gonna kill every single diet n beauty industry exec #I have mroe to say but I’m too low words now #like it’s fucking horrible and I’m on the OVERactive side of it all where I struggle gaining weight at all!! cannot even #begin to imagine just how unendingly torturous this all is for. yk. actual fat people #like it’s so hard to actually try and find any resources for myself bc all this is triggering the hell out of my dysmorphia and shit like #hence why I’m lookin at a potential specialist at 600$ per fuckin appointment even tho I’ve been told there’s not much even a specialist #could do in my case #the absolute BULLSHIT y’all are subjected to everywhere everyday. oh my god.#reblog if u want idc doubt it’s got much sense or relevnate to anyone other than me atm but #I need tobbed #fatphobia #medical neglect #hashimotos #disability #ask if u need this tagged idk what to put it under #vent #diet mention #ed tw #biting biting biting biting bitign #goodnoot

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astrxealis · 1 year

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good morning 🥺

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#sorrey ... not active ..... lots going on but also not (?)#IDK anyways i've reconnected w an old friend who's a childhood friend bcs shes the daughter of my mom's friend ^___^#she said she's gna get into the 1975 more !! but she's alrdy going to the arctic monkey's concert soon which is super cool #and i rmbr our mom asked me and lune if we knew them too <3 but we didn't know there was a legit concert SOBS #yeah miss her a lot and it's sweet how wnvr we do reconnect a bit it always so happens we're into the same thing of sorts :((#AND THEN! wow idk i've grown a lil less hesitant. somehow. idk. literally replied to the story on ig of a guy ik but haven't talked to in ag #ages* purely bcs he kept posting like woaaa based game and then ff6 best ff so i was like SO TRUE but have u played 14 #and he has NOT but does want to and then wow we could have had a lil convo but i left to watch a movie sorry bro <//3 #what else ... hmm ..... WELL. an old friend from all the way in 6th grade. okay so we often message each other a bit just like 'hey wna be #grpmates' or smth like that and that one time where they gave me a lil help for the chem grp work and i'm like. just comfy talking like #myself fr BUT THENNN messaged me sometime last week bcs. like smth w a grpwork and they got anxious they did smth wrong #bcs no one in the gc replied to them (sorry i didn't either SOBS) T___T ended up turning the convo to 'hey wt abt i finally try to talk w u #properly more' and HELL YEAHHH we both r the kinds that talk/type a lot but sometimes dip and disappear how lovely /gen LMAO <3 #idk. uhm. with the school fair we have booths and shifts for the booths and my group is the one with uhh the 4 kids who i'm often groups #with and they're all the. yk kids. ppl who i'd get along w and i've been classmates w all of em b4 but you see they're a grp of friends now #RAGHH ONE OF THEM IK LIKES PERSONA (MULTIPLE?? IDK. they once were like yo apollo u seem like u like persona lol #IDK WHAT THAT IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN but yes i do have akechi and ren charms on my backpack for school #AND THEN ONE is into like gi pjsk a lot of rhythm games and gacha mobile but all like uhh. yeah? tot love live bandori ... still cool fr tho #she's rlly nice tbh lol ^___^ wait tbh all of them are HELP but uhm idk but it's nice when ppl r nice to me #tbf that's literally how i got my first crush BUT WE DON'T TALK ABT THAT !! yk sometimes i unconsciously wonder abt her or look for her and #then i did see her again after a few months since seeing her early in on the school year bcs shes in basketball and i hung out at the uhh #covered court w my best friend whos in another varsity bcs we stayed late at school that day to help out w fair preparations!#i refuse to like her again but i realize i like that familiarity with feelings and uhmm yeah shes cool ig i kinda wish i was less. uhm. shy #back then? you see i barely cld talk to her ... LIKE. she'd be like. heyy! and do shit sometimes and i WOULDN'T TALK or just smile and #mumble RAFGHHHFHFHDHH but she'd say hi to me and include me in things and jokes and it made me rlly /@!(@/'dmdkzn okay #AND sometimes when i do talk back I am SOOOO GODDAMN AWKWARD GOOD GODS anyways now i'm like. less awkward. or maybe i've just accepted it n #i'm cooler now B) and a lot more confident zEjfhejdjsnk. yeah. and uhmm yeah that's it #BUT YEAH nice classmate she asked me for a hug once lol and i notice she's affectionate w her friends n it reminds me of m y own bestie awhh #she sometimes talks to me which i rlly appreciate even if it prolly seems like i hate her sorry i just suck w talking

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bravevolunteer · 6 months

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mike schmidt is my blorbo but also he’s not but i’m going to talk about him like he is because he IS but that is also distinctly not my blorbo, hope this helps

#can’t wait to figure out what the hell i’m doing in regards to a verse LMAO #that’s not my guy. but it is. that is my guy. but also not.#i am DRAGGING myself through the day lmao.. it’s little treat time tho #michael on the brain as always #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc

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didsomeonesayventus · 1 year

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also hewwo i’ve vaguely returned to fic writing thanks to engage and as part of getting better at promoting my work uuhhh here (throws breadcrumbs in one convenient post)

All the following center around M!Alear/Alcryst (alearyst? alcrear? Alal? the utterly unhinged suggestion of alal-) because oops My Favorite Dynamic, generally written as standalone

Rutilated- 3.7k, taking place between chapters 14-15, slight focus on events in chapters 10-11. Insomnia from stress turned awkward flirting turned emotional comforting.

Intergrowth- A series of 6 drabbles totaling 2.5k that take place from chapter 7 through post-game in sporadic leaps. Covers a broad spectrum of crushing angst to fluff, arranged chronologically kind of like an outline of the relationship on the side of the main plot, built around the idea of moments where they held hands

Thanatophobia- 1.3k, post-game. Alear has a nightmare because (kiragi vc) war is heck! especially when you’re dragon jesus and go through protagonist bullshit that people somehow expect you to be just Okay With.

so yeah oops finally found fic topics to latch on to and remembered I might dare have a writing following/finding people who want to read over this way so if u find this post rad or interesting please have at it and enjoy!

#katie writes #fe engage #alear #alcryst #fe17 #(I dare poke the fandom on what the hell to call this ship)#(please do not call it alal i think i'd die)#(and also boldly put in the Main Tags because fuck it im proud of these!!! I think they're good Huffs)#(2023 katie is going to be better at recognizing and promoting her work)#anyways yeah putting this up at the prime time of (checks watch) midnight #but fuck it I just got off work and realized I hadn't done much advertising over on the tumblr end of things + need to use it more since uh.#twitter is coughing hacking dying wheezing going down any day now probably #so old readers welcome back sorry i've spent years knee deep in freeform RP #new readers hi im katie i like writing sad things and sappy things #either readers tune in for next fic-ish where emblem corrin has a 'oh my god you remind me so much of myself and subaki' moment #because im indulgent like that but also (engine sputtering noise) it might take a bit #(nudge nudge wink wink remember to kudos ur faves and maybe leave a comment even if its just 'OHHHH THEM I LOVE THEM')#soo good night to whoever finds this post hope it's what you've been looking for tho the engage corner of AO3 is kinda smol still #(probably would find it without me sign waving but i shall sign wave anyways because PROMOTING MY WRITING YEAH)

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mars-ipan · 8 months

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btw i was Really Smart in communications today :]

#marzi speaks #i asked a question that stumped our professor and answered his questions well #i didn’t take a spotlight tho. i waited a fair bit or to be called on before answering #it’s weird for me #now that i’m in college i’m realizing just how crazy competitive my high school was #and like. i /knew/ it was competitive. but it was competitive in ways i didn’t even realize #like things were presented to me in a way where if i didn’t know everything i was doomed to fail from the start. i was fucked #i mean hell i wasn’t even top third of my class. 200 something in a class of 600 something people #but now i’m in college and i’m with my peers and i’m realizing like. actually i am pretty damn smart #i never thought i was /dumb./ i just never thought of myself as exceptional either #and i definitely have my struggles. my poly sci class is so fucking boring i Do Not Like It #but i’m realizing now that i’m a lot smarter than i’ve thought i was for the past… what six years? seven? ten?#a long time. essentially #and it feels WEIRD!! god it feels weird #i’m kind of afraid to be percieved as smart??#i think it’s tied to internalized misogyny. bc when i inspect that fear #i realize i don’t want to be reduced to a (sorry for hp reference) hermoine granger type of misogynistic caricature #it’s probably tied to how my mother (very smart) was regularly dismissed or even laughed at for her smarts #idk. when a guy is smart then it’s just cool.#when a girl (or girl-adjacent thing like myself) is smart then oh it’s levioSA not levioSARRRR sorry brainiac oh the WOMAN has an OPINION #stupid WOMEN and their stupid THOUGHTS. who let them think. etc etc #so idk. i’m worried that if i let myself recognize that i’m smart #instead of letting other people make the observation for me #that i’ll be seen as stuck-up. bossy. etc.#but if i don’t acknowledge that i’m smart who the hell will?#i think that a lesson my mother has been teaching me for my whole life is starting to be fully understood in my head #i should call her and talk about it. kinda wanna just talk to my mom in general #ANYWAYS. trying to let myself be proud of my smarts again. in a healthy way this time #without worrying about failure or impressions. because i am smart. i have a lot of ideas and i ask a lot of questions #i don’t need to explain my smartness to anyone. i can just be smart in this way. maybe that’ll get easier as i practice it

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clementiens · 8 months

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ok i have decided i'm changing my name. i was on the fence between fionn and liam (which had been a contender before i was born) so i'm just going to use both! fionn is my first name, liam and my current legal name will both be middle names. why not both. long names are nice

#fionn liam vincent [redacted] sounds cool as hell #i'm so so so bad at deciding things and then having to sit on them for a while lmao #i told myself i'd take my time w this if i did decide to change it but now that i'm settled on it i'm like #OK LET'S GOOO I GOTTA MAKE A FACEBOOK ANNOUNCEMENT I GOTTA TELL EVERYONE #EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW MY COOL NEW NAME #i was on the fence about changing it legally too but again now it's settled i'm like! ok! give me the DOCUMENTS let's DO THIS #i have to decide how / when to do it all tho just bc like. should tell family individually before just announcing it #not rly sure how to handle w grandparents. i don't want to confuse my mom's mom bc she's not 100% lately #when i came out 10 years ago she and my grandpa were great about it and by now she's kind of forgotten that i ever transitioned #like she's mixed me up with my brother who has an infant son #i don't know if it would be bothersome to ask my family to just keep calling me vincent with her specifically #i guess i can ask my mom she was already really receptive and loving when i said i was thinking of changing it #i think she'd be direct with me about what would be best in that context

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zhalar · 1 year

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yeah i dont really consider myself that socially anxious anymore [<- speaks on the phone about grownup things for 15 minutes and my fingertips start to sweat]

#I LOVE HAVING A BODY #särmäs sermons #good news everyboy i have acquired a summer job :) now if i only figured out what im gonna do once autumn rolls around....#.... that everyboy was a typo that i dont wanna fix actually #i still have to apply to schooling . tho im not sure if i HAVE to do it or if its just advised or whatever. i do want to its just that #i still dont know what the hell i wanna do. i had a little expedition at a woodworking/carpenter school #~vocational school~ that is. and im running outta time to apply so i could start in august.#seemed pretty fun seemed like the sorta thing i might WANT to do #but ive been noticing this. Thing. in my brain where nothing is fucking sticking to it #i dont know how to learn and also to keep that knowledge. cant see myself learning how to use all those big scary machines.#its really fucking with my confidence to even applyyyy even tho all the people there were so nice and confident that anyone could learnnnnn #oh well. these are my problems. there are others but i'll spiral about them once theyre more timely and relevant lmao #DO WE THINK I SHOULD TRY GETTING MY ASS TO SPEAK WITH A PROFESSIONAL

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firep0wder · 1 year

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I don't want to go to work tomorrow I want to get high and have gay sex and play guitar with my friends forever and ever and eat good food. Alas weed costs money so I need the job

#fp.txt #yeah yeah never trust how you feel abt life after sunset but every day it's the same feeling of oh I'm never gonna be a real human person #who functions right the way everyone else does. I'm never gonna learn how to form new relationships I have no faith in my ability to do #anything out of my routine anymore but my routine just makes me feel worse every day Where is all this coming from what the hell. huh what.#apparently I have memories of reflecting on these same feelings for several days if not weeks now. but I don't know when that happened this #is the first I'm hearing of it. I can't refute it tho it does feel like I'm never ever gonna change or better myself and I'm just getting #worse and everyone who loves me is gonna cut their losses eventually. Jesus Christ I'm already 20 what in the hell happened the past 3 years #I don't remember any of it. I just want to go to bed bro where is all this shit coming from

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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grabbing the ichi plush by the neck and death gripping it like 'good things are to come its all going to be ok good things are to come' like its a lucky amulet

#snap chats #i didnt even pre order the ichi plush but spiritually i did. good luck charm.#anyway rant time look away from here. Im At My Limit <- i say this every week #I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS WRONG <- lying. my moms home #i just feel terrible again. i feel so awful i gave myself a headache from being upset #do you know how upset you have to be to give yourself a headache just sitting and thinking #that happened when i was taking a spanish test once but i think i was just so stupid my brain actually started to hurt trying to think #i also remember being sad as hell that day tho so....... maybe it was both #everyday it feels like im sad thats so fucked up and theres nothing i can do about it #ALSO IT'S RAINING AGAIN rain never promises anything good unless you're a plant #im working but i should have this done in. idk a few hours #and then its the weekend right.... there's no limitations for sadness though brother doesn't run on a schedule #unless we're talking about seasonal depression but we know what i mean #ew im supposed to go to that con tomorrow i dont even know if i want to go anymore #i just don't want to do anything anymore ig is the vibe #idk i have a journal to whine bout all this in ╮(╯-╰)╭ squeezing ichi plush is a mood tho so im still posting #maybe if i play a lil y7 ill remember theres good things to wake up for..#also i gave myself another headache OWOWOWOW STOP when will it end #wait let me be sad again because my dad said we'd hang out today or tomorrow #but i just know that's not happening and now im even more sad WEHHH no one loves me etc etc die #sometimes you just need a melodramatic teenager moment i think we're all due that right like once a month #ok i have to stop my head really hurts ☠️☠️☠️

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mrs-kelly · 1 year

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It’s like 2am and I just woke up from a Charlie dream but once again things can never be easy for us in my dreams 🥺❤️

Charlie and I were together and visiting my family and he got up to go take a shower. And while he was gone, freaking JAMES showed up. And my mom’s like ‘He looks like the guy from lost’ and I’m like ‘ yeah. Looks like’ ASJJLL And James says, ‘Look, I’m not gonna beg ya. But for the time we had together… is there ever a chance you could love me again?’ And I thought for a second and told him yes. And he started to walk away, looking really self-satisfied, and I realized. No. I don’t want anyone but Charlie. I don’t. It doesn’t matter who they are. Or how good things were between us. I only want Charlie.

So I chased after him, asking him to wait, and I said, ‘My answer is actually no.’ And he looked really angry and asked me to repeat myself. So I said, ‘No, I won’t ever love you again. I’m only with Charlie now, for the rest of my life. He’s the love of my life, and I’m never gonna love anyone else.’

So he stormed off in the middle of me saying that Charlie is the only one I’m gonna be with forever. And I started discussing it with my family for awhile. And after it’d been a good while, I realized Charlie had been in the shower for a long time. So I asked my sibling to knock on the door and check on him. But he didn’t answer. So I panicked and ran up and knocked too. Still no answer.

And I started to call out for him, but nothing. So I opened the door and he was like. Passed out with his head in a puddle of water :( so James had tried to kill him!!!! Which is the second time I’ve dreamed he got jealous of an f/o and tried to kill them!! Oh my God!!

So I lugged Charlie out of the water and started to perform CPR on him. And. He woke up 🥺 thank God… I remember panicking and my hands shaking as I gave him chest compressions and seeing him open his eyes and cough and I was just feeling!! So relieved!! Seeing the life in his eyes… God I was so happy. And the first thing he did was joke that it was a good thing I knew CPR because we couldn’t afford to take an ambulance ADGHJKL this guy.

I wanted to take him to a hospital but James was still on the property and apparently he had friends with him. Charlie said it was a group of guys that ganged up on him. So we all started to find weapons we could use to protect ourselves and fight these people. And I was in the middle of fighting them when I woke up because the stress of saving Charlie’s life was getting to be too much to hold onto adfhjkl

And now I’m like. Lying awake at 2am happy to have had a Charlie dream but annoyed that James interrupted it. And like. So violently too. I’m legit mad at him now afgjkll like this is the second time he’s hurt someone because I picked them over him and it’s just really weird that he just. Showed up and made me choose. Idk it’s probably bc I already had another dream with James in it a couple days ago. But it was that I saw him on the TV so. Idk.

But yeah that dream was horrifying adfhjkl

#drowning tw #ask to tag #ren’s dream journal #renlie #I just don’t know why James in particular is so violent in my dreams afghkk #I mean I guess he. He is kinda violent in the show sfghkkl #so it’s not inaccurate #but I’m still like. hey. HEY. don’t you fuckin hurt Charlie what the hell #I’m like. furious with him now #I mean it felt cathartic to literally look another f/o in the eye and say ‘it’s only Charlie from now on’#but James is the scariest one it could’ve been bc he already stabbed Fox in that other dream #and I remembered that while I was saying it #luckily I was able to save Charlie 🥺#technically irl idk how to do CPR yet but as required in my class I’m going to take a class on basic life support #so I will know #and even more than ever I wanna know now ahfjfl not that I’ll ever need to use it on Charlie but that shit’s just good to know #sighs. proud of myself for chasing after James and telling him I changed my mind tho. that was a scary moment #rejecting somebody that I still care for. somebody I don’t wanna hurt. oof #but it’s true. I don’t wanna be with anyone but Charlie you know #and what felt rly good to say 🥺 that he’s it for me from now on 🥺❤️

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soldier-poet-king · 2 years

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Has anyone ever considered that I don't want to do chores and run errands after work and commuting and I WANT to go home and nap and play video games and read

#UNFORTUNATELY. IM WEAK WITH NO SELF CONTROL #i told myself i wasnt gonna start pf wotr until after this weekend #bc i am out of town w maria and rae!!! and dont wanna be spending the whole weekend stuck in hyperfixated hell #thinking abt game.#unfortunately. guess what ive started #i have SO MUCH backstory for my duelist ex spy dhamphir rogue-undead sorcerer #its about the ANGST and the REDEMPTION #ugh. combine alucard. essek. mhm maybe a lil fenris and finnick odair #honestly. being like. im a grown ass adult but i can create cringe ocs like im 11 yrs old #what absolute freedom and joy!!!!!#i am having a BLAST #yes she has white hair trauma. yes there are scars. yes shes now devoted to sarenrae the SUN god of mercy even tho shes dhsmphir #yes she still wants human blood and hates it #/SCREAMS/#anyway i am going to run errands and also desperately get a haircut #and i SHOULD be reading #but 2 guesses what im gonna do after o get home #IM SUPPOSED TO PACK TOOsgdbshhf i have no idea what the dress code is #Franposting #YKNOW WHOS THE BIGGEST PUSHOVER???? ME #i am WEAK and TIRED after all day at work i want FUN

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hoonfication · 1 year

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helloo im taking a short hiatus ttac will be in hold for now 😋

#my friends r draining the life out of me #I’ll still be working on ttac tho I just won’t be uploading chapters #idk what to do atp ☝🏻#I just have a lot of emotions bottled up inside & it’s dragging me down the depths of hell #ttac is the short ver of two times a charm btw #its such a long ass smau title idk #emo #I hope u guys wont mind #I’ll be focusing on myself for now 🫶

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