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#what theyve said.. even if i forgive em in the future... i just idk- wanna have proof of what i remember happening
cluelesslesbian · 3 years
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hahaha
(ignore my tags- just needed to... vent rn)
#uhhh so the shoe has dropped and my parents found out I'm gay- went exactly as shit as I've always imagined and now I'm just venting so-#homophobia#vent#negative#.......ok now to start uh-#ive had the lesbian flag in my room for about?? 3 years now? they never asked about it before so i never thought they ever would???#but yesterday at about 1am i was interrogated about it and anyways- flash-forward to today- where i am well rested and had to have a convo#(convo 1.0 was at like 2am.. but i had to yell that i was entirely too exhausted from work to deal with- well my mom crying about how much#she's failed at being a parent :/ )#aaaaanywas- convo 2.0 today has ended marginally better but not really- apparently its fine if 'this is who i am rn' because#1. ill be fine if i never talk about this again- never post about it- never beproud- etc#2. they respect that this is who i am... but they expect that to change in 5 years :///#3. if i admit (and i had to bc they wouldn't let me leave the room otherwise) that I'm weird and abnormal and in the wrong for thinking-#then life will be fine bc my parents LoVe mE UnCondiTiOnALLy (except clearly. there's so many fucking conditions to their love)#and anyways. now im just- in an extremely fucked up mood and day drinking despite always saying id never drink in a bad mood#but fuck- its... really shit to KNOW know that i can never really love who i am while I'm living at home#(which im only doing bc its cheaper... but maybe i gotta reevaluate ahdhfkfl)#....its been about an hour since i typed this out and ok i do feel better atm so no worries- still gonna post it bc... i dont wanna forget-#what theyve said.. even if i forgive em in the future... i just idk- wanna have proof of what i remember happening
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