#ive had the lesbian flag in my room for about?? 3 years now? they never asked about it before so i never thought they ever would???

[cluelesslesbian]

hahaha

(ignore my tags- just needed to... vent rn)

[certifiedproblemcauser]

fuckin uh,,gay wrath shit

gay month is carrying over bitches because i said so

so uh here’s some random stories about being queer because why the fuck not

1. so basically i first realized i. Was Not Straight when I was about 11ish, and i thought i mightve had a crush on a really good friend of mine who was moving away, but i kinda brushed it off. then the next year i met this. Cute Girl at school and kinda just,,,started hanging around with her until we became really good friends, and turns out,,,we both had crushes on each other,,,,,,so my first Full Gay Crush™ was Also Gay For Me (we dated for just over 2 years before breaking up but we’re still good friends hehe)

2. started questioning what the fUCK a gender was when i was about 11-12 too, and tbh i still dont know? idfk man im just trying to exist

3. when i was younger i thought you had to have a crush on guys?? so every year at school id pick a dude and be like ‘okay i like you this year’ and never once did i realize that normal people didnt do that aslkdjfaslkdfjlksd after a while my parents coughmomcough started saying that they’d ‘always love me no matter what’ and i did Not understand what she meant until i realized. people could like girls and i-yeah so technically i came out at like,,,12? when i mentioned to my parents i might like girls (i used bi at the time bc that was the only other term i knew of outside of gay and straight) but didn’t fully come out until about 3 years later--turns out they knew my friend and i were dating but didnt want to make it awkward by asking me about it alksjdlkzsflksadhgkldjghkladfjghalkdendme

4. ended up discovering. God I Love Women like so fucking much they just,,,preddie

5. (currently!) i use the term pan to define myself if anyone asks but technically i always sway towards girls so i could also use lesbian but what the fuck is language and labels let me like people

okay, now on an actually serious note for people who might still be in the closet/struggling with accepting themself or others/in a dangerous place right now: it would be a lie to say that everything went smoothly. i was on the brink of breaking down entirely when i told my parents that i wasn’t sure i was straight because i knew the connotations of it--i grew up in the early-mid 2000′s, gay was and still is used as a negative term, so i always knew it as this ‘bad thing’ to be. it also didn’t help that they weren’t supportive at first, so i was basically thrown back into the closet. i was also in a seriously dark place mentally at the time with no one to talk to about it (i’ve always been horrible at making friends, so even now i really dont have people to talk to about things going on in my life, which might be why im writing this now? i really dont know anymore). i have family that would disown me immediately if they found out about this--hell, they flipped their shit when they found out i wasnt catholic (not my parents tho, they’re chill now)! and yeah. it sucks having to hide a major part of yourself from the people who mean the most to you. the person i was closest to in the world died last year without knowing who i was. so, no, i’m not entirely out, because that would be dangerous for me. i know that ive had it easier than so many people who have stories similar to mine, but it shouldn’t be something thats difficult in the first place. (also sorry mom, i know you’ve said you expect me to bring a girl home at this point and that you. really want me to bring ANYONE home but hehe romance hard)

to end this on a light-hearted note, i just got a giant 1x2m pride flag to hang in my room and i was able to proudly show it off to my parents who supported me wholeheartedly. i know it’s cliche to say, but it does get better. and im still really young--there’s so much more time for it to get even better than this.

[artvmvs]

Ena mexri 100. Dhladh ola :)

damn y u do this

(btw they kinda got mixed up bc i am dumb sorrry)

The meaning behind my url:  idk. just stardust but star is in greek. idek.

A picture of me: im useless and idk how to put the picture on this place specifically, ask me separately if you do want one

How many tattoos i have and what they are: im a minor so none yet, but I’d like some in the future!

Last time i cried and why: ..no idea. Probably an arguement but I don’t remember, I’m more of a silent suffering kinda gal

Piercings i have: I am currently stretching my ears and I want a helix or an industrial, ik i don’t have many but I think they’re really cool

Favorite band: don’t make me choose

Biggest turn offs: dunno. does this mean generally pet peeves or nah,, 

Biggest turn ons: uhm i am a child!!! neck bites tho  we’re not diving deeper

Age: 16 

Ideas of a perfect date: something chill and not formal like maybe exploring the city or watching movies together at home or cinema idk, something exciting 

Life goal: bold of you to assume i have any goals for the future

Piercings i want: as i said, right now helix or industrial

Relationship status: single :))

Favorite movie: i currently like heathers and the imitation game but i really gotta watch new stuff I just never get around to it

A fact about my life: i didn’t think I would live to 2018, or at least whole (due to an unfortunate series of events) , but here i am binch  y’all have to tolerate me now!! sucks to be you

Phobia: fish and insects freak me out because they’re tiny n I don’t want them near me bc they are fast little shits and also I could literally touch them and they’d die and it freaks me out. or at least that’s what i use to justify me acting like a little bitch

Middle name: dont have one

Height: 165cm or as the ‘muricans like to call it  5'4 i think

Are you a virgin?: yes

What’s your shoe size?: um?? in greece we use different sizing i think? so in greece im a 37  but i looked it up and im a 6.5 in us and a 4.5 in the uk im VERY confused but basically smol

What’s your sexual orientation? i currently identify as a lesbian

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? i,,have,,,, drank beer once,,

Someone you miss: @221b-unicornstreet​ and people i cant tag

What’s one thing you regret?: not defending myself enough,,? I certainly have done many regrettable things but they’ve already happened now.. so

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: uhm BRYAN DECHART bitch i know im a lesbian but let me have this bc he is actually attractive and this is what came to mind rn so shut

Favorite ice cream?: i like vanilla flavour  dONT make that joke 

One insecurity: nose. spine.

What my last text message says: ‘’because it can mean either’’ im very interesting 

Have you ever taken a picture naked? nope

Have you ever painted your room? i want to

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? nYES

Have you ever slept naked? i think? in my?? underwear?? but not completely 

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror? i,,yes

Have you ever had a crush? kinda

Have you ever been dumped? yes

Have you ever stole money from a friend? no???

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? i dont think so

Have you ever been in a fist fight? nope im weak LMAO you’d probably kill me by pushing me tbh

Have you ever snuck out of your house?  i’ve snuck into a house when i was six, i know im very cool.

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? yeah

Have you ever been arrested? nope

Have you ever made out with a stranger? IVE NEVER MADE OUT WITH ANYONE DONT

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? met?? up?? a date?? kinda ,, (regrets)

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? idrk

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? nah fam

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun? if by more fun you mean cry myself directly back to sleep then yes, every week from grade 4-7 but now i dont have the ability to miss school for so many days,, still do tho, but less frequently 

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? yes

Have you ever seen someone die? no

Have you ever been on a plane? yup

Have you ever kissed a picture?,, i mean i was made to kiss pictures in church thanks mom!!

Have you ever slept in until 3? i do that every day in summer

Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now? i do miss someone now as ive said

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? yeah

Have you ever made a snow angel? yess

Have you ever played dress up? i think

Have you ever cheated while playing a game? probably when i was younger

Have you ever been lonely? hasnt everyone at some point tbh? but  not a frequent occurrence, at all

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school? yes, from exhaustion

Have you ever been to a club? …unfortunately, 0/10 would NEVER do it again

Have you ever felt an earthquake? yeah, i live in greece dude of course i have

Have you ever touched a snake? not really… which is sad

Have you ever ran a red light? i dont drive

Have you ever been suspended from school? nope 

Have you ever had detention? i was made to sit in a corner once dgkdhfkg we don’t have detentions

Have you ever been in a car accident? no

Have you ever hated the way you look? always fam

Have you ever witnessed a crime? no i dont think

Have you ever pole danced? HH NO

Have you ever been lost? sorta

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country? if you count athens then yeah, if you count the islands which i dont see why you wouldnt then no

Have you ever felt like dying? i’ve felt like i was dying and i’ve felt like i wanted to die both buddy

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? i guess uwu

Have you ever sang karaoke? hell NO

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? probably a bunch of times and on a daily basis, i live to disappoint 

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? yES

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger? no?

Have you ever kissed in the rain? nope

Have you ever sang in the shower? always

Have you ever made out in a park? nope

Have you ever dream that you married someone? i think i have

Have you ever glued your hand to something? nope

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? ,,no

Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked? ,,nO

Have you ever been a cheerleader? nope

Have you ever sat on a roof top? yesh

Have you ever brush your teeth? ,,, YES??

Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? SCARY MOVIES SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHT OUT OF ME AND I KNOW ITS STUPID DONT BULLY ME

Have you ever played chicken? no

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? i’ve been pushed into the ocean with all my clothes on and some money too

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? on tumblr where the magic happens yes because yall havent seen my face

Have you ever broken a bone? no

Have you ever been easily amused? on the not so frequent occasion i get in that mood i laugh at absolutely everything

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? yyess love that

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? n o

Have you ever cheated on a test? yup yuup

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name? always

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real? what does that mean

Give us one thing about you that no one knows. i cried when i realised im gay because i thought i want going to hell (im an atheist now)

Top 5 (insert subject): top 5 what anon

Tattoos i want: havent really settled on anything but i’ll design it myself so…

[haught-at-waverly-place]

answer all of them

answers under the cut! only doing this cause im that bored

200: My crush’s name is: no one 199: I was born in: 1996198: I am really: bored197: My cellphone company is: wtf who cares?? 196: My eye color is: green/blue 195: My shoe size is: 6.5194: My ring size is: idk small 193: My height is: smol 192: I am allergic to: cats and all of nature in the spring and summer 191: My 1st car was: an hhr or as i liked to call it a poor mans hearse190: My 1st job was: an in home care taker aka i cleaned elderly peoples homes189: Last book you read: god i dont read188: My bed is: my best friend 187: My pet: is the loml 186: My best friend: she lives too far away tbh 185: My favorite shampoo is: i use old spice 2-in-1 like the basic bitch i am184: Xbox or ps3: ps3??? what year is it the switch is where its mfkin at 183: Piggy banks are: dope af 182: In my pockets: nothing cause im a broke bitch 181: On my calendar: nothing cause im a boring bitch 180: Marriage is: cool good on everyone who is married to their best friends 179: Spongebob can: new spongebob can die cause its garbage 178: My mom: is the best 177: The last three songs I bought were? who buys songs? 176: Last YouTube video watched: air crash investigations (dont ask) 175: How many cousins do you have? idk 174: Do you have any siblings? one sister 173: Are your parents divorced? nah 172: Are you taller than your mom? nah 171: Do you play an instrument? i used to play the violin and guitar but not anymore 170: What did you do yesterday? tried not to die [ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: idk maybe? 168: Luck: sure 167: Fate: yeah sure 166: Yourself: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha no 165: Aliens: fuck yeah 164: Heaven: ehhh no 163: Hell: no 162: God: not really 161: Horoscopes: lowkey160: Soul mates: every one has one 159: Ghosts: kind of 158: Gay Marriage: nah why would gays want to get married 157: War: war is p stupid 156: Orbs: wtf is an orb??155: Magic: no [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: kisses 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: black 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: cold 148: Summer or winter: winter 147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonalds 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: this is dark chocolate erasure and i will not stand for it 140: Mac or PC: mac 139: Flip flops or high heals: neither both are garbage for the feet 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: im already sweet and poor sooooo137: Coke or Pepsi: where is my dr. pepper representation 136: Hillary or Obama: obama 135: Burried or cremated: cremated id like to go out in a burnin glory even if im already dead 134: Singing or Dancing: singing 133: Coach or Chanel: neither 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are you people 131: Small town or Big city: big city 130: Wal-Mart or Target: im a lesbian so target obviously 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither 128: Manicure or Pedicure: pedicure only cause they message my feet and legs 127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: xmas cause snow 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox: neither who cares about baseball [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: men bein garbage 121: George Bush: why? 120: Gay Marriage: hell yeah we got it 119: The presidential election: we might as well have elected a crackhead 118: Abortion: let women get them safely so they dont fucking die its that simple117: MySpace: jesus is it 2006 again 116: Reality TV: its trashy but ill watch it cause im trash 115: Parents: love your parents kids (unless they are abusive) 114: Back stabbers: are awful just like maybe dont stab people in the back literally and metaphorically 113: Ebay: ive literally never used ebay in my life 112: Facebook: its p garbage i barely ever use it 111: Work: capitalism has killed workers and quality work 110: My Neighbors: they are there 109: Gas Prices: i havent gotten gas in like 2 months so like idk 108: Designer Clothes: why are they all like so ugly??107: College: stressful and only vaguely worth something 106: Sports: fun to play but boring to watch. i only go to sporting events for the alcohol 105: My family: is v dope and i love them 104: The future: stressful and i hate thinking about it [ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: last night it was my dad 102: Last time you ate: last night lol 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: probably back in december with my best friend 100: Cried in front of someone: oooof all the time 99: Went to a movie theater: like 2 wks ago 98: Took a vacation: january i went on a cruise 97: Swam in a pool: last summer i think 96: Changed a diaper: uhhh never…. 95: Got my nails done: god way back in high school when i thought i was straight 94: Went to a wedding: last friday! 93: Broke a bone: 3 wks ago haha 92: Got a peircing: i havent gotten a piercing since i was like 6 91: Broke the law: uhhh i plead the fifth 90: Texted: i texted my mom like 40 mins ago [ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: myself 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog shes so cute 87: The last movie I saw: spiderman into the spiderverse 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: a vacation to see my aunt in indiana 85: The thing im not looking forward to: going back to school 84: People call me: uhhh my name? 83: The most difficult thing to do is: rn? pretty much everything 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: im a leo 80: The first person i talked to today was: my mom 79: First time you had a crush: first time i remember was freshman yr of college 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my mom 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: i dont remember 76: Right now I am talking to: nobody im a lonely bitch 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully something to do with neuropsychology 74: I have/will get a job: 73: Tomorrow: wtf does this even mean 72: Today: or this one 71: Next Summer: and this one 70: Next Weekend: and even this one 69: I have these pets: a golden retriever mix 68: The worst sound in the world: 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: hahaha myself 66: People that make you happy: my family and friends 65: Last time I cried: yesterday 64: My friends are: amazing wonderful people that i love 63: My computer is: my lifeline 62: My School: is small but good 61: My Car: is a lesbian wagon that looks like i live in it 60: I lose all respect for people who: cheat on their s/o 59: The movie I cried at was: i dont usually cry during movies 58: Your hair color is: confusing kind of blonde also kind of brown 57: TV shows you watch: she ra, killing eve, grey anatomy too many others to list 56: Favorite web site: youtube 55: Your dream vacation: to go to germany 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: idk maybe my post surgery foot pain 53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare the only way a steak should be eaten 52: My room is: always a disaster 51: My favorite celebrity is: taylor swift 50: Where would you like to be: idk 49: Do you want children: noooo 48: Ever been in love: yes i have 47: Who’s your best friend: we aint naming names on here 46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends45: One thing that makes you feel great is: playing with my dog 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: A43: Do you have a 5 year plan: god no i dont even have a 5 hour plan 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: nah 41: Have you pre-named your children: nope40: Last person I got mad at: myself39: I would like to move to: somewhere other than where i am now 38: I wish I was a professional: at being not depressed [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: bottle caps or ritter sports 36: Vehicle: subaru wrx hatchbacks with a wide body kit are b nice 35: President: who tf has a favorite president 34: State visited: oregon or washington 33: Cellphone provider: who has a fave cell provider???32: Athlete: none31: Actor: idk like chris pratt or something 30: Actress: rn jodie comer 29: Singer: hayley williams 28: Band: paramore 27: Clothing store: h&m 26: Grocery store: target 25: TV show: law and order svu 24: Movie: princess mononoke 23: Website: youtube 22: Animal: red panda 21: Theme park: disneyland 20: Holiday: halloween 19: Sport to watch: none they are all hella boring 18: Sport to play: softball 17: Magazine: none i dont read 16: Book: i dont read books cant concentrate for that long 15: Day of the week: idk saturday 14: Beach: ive been to a beach like 3 times and i barely remember them 13: Concert attended: paramore after laughter concert last summer 12: Thing to cook: cooking stresses me the fuck out so i dont have a favorite thing to cook 11: Food: pasta!! 10: Restaurant: uhhh i dont really have one 9: Radio station: its 2019 who listens to the radio 8: Yankee candle scent: i dont really use candles 7: Perfume: i dont wear perfume 6: Flower: peach roses probably 5: Color: red 4: Talk show host: i dont watch talk shows they are all boring 3: Comedian: john mulaney or iliza schlesinger 2: Dog breed: corgi 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? hahahahaha

[chronicles-of-lili-and-love]

The Work-Place Romance

Listen ladies and gents, I already warned you this was going to get messy. Now, truth be told this is probably the only place I’ll ever be able to tell the full truth of this story, so buckle up and please leave your morals and values and general sense of right and wrong at the door, because those things have no place in this story.

This story actually starts a few months ago. We’ll call it March of 2019. My marriage was shit (oh yes, I’m married too). It had been a crumbling mess for 2.5 years, one full year of which we were ALREADY separated. That should have been my first red flag. But obviously, we ended up back together. That’s a story for another time though. This story is about my much younger boyfriend, and the flawlessly adorable lesbian I work with.

So, where was I?

Oh, right. Marriage was shit. Bills ARE shit. And I just started a new job. Now, right from the start I loved my job! (Still do too, 6 months later) and right from day one, I knew this adorable little thing would get me in trouble somehow. Now, looking back, I figured she would be a source of jealousy for my (soon-to-be, THANK GOD) ex-wife. Well, unfortunately I was wrong. Now you’re probably thinking to yourself ‘what do you mean unfortunately?’ So allow me to explain. Had this one beautiful individual been the straw that broke the camels back (aka - The person who ended my marriage) then this little story would be much shorter and a whole hell of a lot less complicated. As it turns out, the cute little lesbian WAS NOT the final straw.

Sand, que the much younger boyfriend. And by much, I mean 8 years younger than me. What in the actual fuck was I thinking? Well, I was thinking that my marriage was shit, he was cute and interested and gave me the attention and affection my (soon-to-be ex-) wife refused to even attempt to give me. Now; keep in mind that while I am very needy, this has been going on with this woman for MONTHS. The majority of our marriage was almost emotionless. That’s not a marriage. That’s roommates who occasionally have sex. But without the sex.

I know, shitty deal right? Well, the saga continues.

So, I leave the marriage, move in my with parents. Get my life back on track, and begin dating the (now) boyfriend.

AND THEN FRIDAY HAPPENED.

Now, keep in mind I very clearly have been crushing on the cute lesbian for LITERALLY 6 MONTHS NOW. And I’m pretty close with one of my managers, who is also close to this EXTREMELY fucking cute lesbian. And when I say we’re close, I mean that she helped me make my decision to leave my (soon-to-be) ex-wife. I cried to this manager for weeks deciding and figuring out my life. Well, I would joke with her about my interest in said lesbian, but truth be told I never expected it to go anywhere. And I TRUSTED her to keep her BIG mouth shut. I made ONE comment. ONE time. And SHE OPENED HER BIG MOUTH! Fast forward a full 2 weeks and a couple days, and THE CUTEST FUCKING GIRL IVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE is in the break room talking to me like normal before I clock in. Except not entirely like normal, because usually she doesn’t talk to me a whole lot. Chit chat and work stuff mostly. Well, she goes back to work, and awhile later comes back. We talk some more, she asks if I got back together with my boyfriend(long story short when I made the comment to my manager about the girl, she asked about my boyfriend and I told her we broke up because he cheated on me. FOR THE RECORD, not a lie!)... well, truth be told, I lied. I told her no. But the truth is that yes, we got back together. We are technically still together today. Monday. That’s right guys, I’m a fucking idiot and have kept this going for 3 fucking days and counting. Now, in my defense I almost never talk to the guy. I’ve been avoiding him for a couple weeks now honestly, I’m just not good at ending relationships and I don’t know how honestly. But I am going to leave!

Well, back to Friday. After my idiot lie, she came back with a cute clever little ploy to get my number. Now guys, I’m gullible and quite frankly I’m not good at reading people, but even I knew what she was getting at with this. She asked me to play iMessage games with her, because she had time to kill. Obviously I gave her my number. Well guys, here it comes.. SHE ASKED ME OUT! We are going hiking. Yes, for the love of fuck yes I said yes!!! She’s literal fucking perfection and honestly I don’t care if she cuts my heart out and feeds it to her hedgehog. Now, no I don’t have some crazy idea that I love her or something stupid like that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty fucking dumb. But I’m not THAT dumb. But I’ll be damned if I’m not willing to rearrange my entire life just to get to know this LITERAL FUCKING ANGEL a little better.

Guys, I know I’m stupid. I know it doesn’t make sense. Logically, this is ALL BAD. But Jesus fucking fuck fuckity fuck fuck. She is so fucking gorgeous. And her smile literally lights up my whole day. And she’s feisty, and sweet, all at once. She’s charming and adventurous and so so down to earth.

I had ZERO intent to go to work today, but I knew she would be there and I couldn’t miss the chance to make her smile at me again like she does.

So, to summarize this little chapter of ’Im a fucking idiot, but she’s PERFECT’

I am an idiot. I KNOW I need to leave the boyfriend, and I KNOW I want to be with her. And now I’ve already started off completely fucked up because I already started things with a lie... it was out of my face before I even knew what I was saying.

Today’s lesson: Finish what you start, BEFORE staring something new. Honesty is the best policy.

Now, wtf do I do because I cannot fuck this up with her!?!