#whatyougonnadoaboutit

[thekillervixen]

Water is a social construct created by Dom(me)s to control subs. #fuckwater #bratsunite #brattytillidie 😜 #whatyougonnadoaboutit #isaidit #coffeeislife #drinkallthecoffee

[you-and-your-fckn-rope]

What a beautiful sun :3 #sun #thesunisrising #swag #wtfarethesehashtags #prettttty #wowwhatacutie #iamprettycute #whatyougonnadoaboutit #nothin #hahahahaha

[kidblue1992-blog]

Meet Sheldon my new best friend! Yes I named him after Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. #whatyougonnadoaboutit

[resin-pone]

Commission for cactusbloomart from dA

I do commissions with ponies in IZ art style, whatyougonnadoaboutit? *pfffft*

[cakepreneurcharlotte-blog]

#magic #skills #spoky #yeahigotskills #whatyougonnadoaboutit #mindreader #psychic #ghost #bitoffun #banter #bants #bantshub #funny https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq5vH51lC72/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=exrpg1ijzfd9

[selbybee]

Finally reading this one so I can watch the show and get what everyone’s been talking about. (And yea, my arm looks like it belongs to another body. #whatyougonnadoaboutit) (at Amsterdam-Noord)

[xocanpenguinsflyxo]

When you wear shades at night and an awesome hoodie #celebritystatus #usos #wwe #dayoneish free uber ride too #whatyougonnadoaboutit #badaboommovement (at Bergen County, New Jersey)

[iamemilienana]

Is it so that itching to not doing it!?! They use the caring card for bombing populations but once their homes are destroyed they kick the survivors away. #racistsarefullofshit #stopbombingpeople #livesovermoney #bombingisnotcaring #shamefuldecisions #innoncentlives #artistsreflection #silencekills #musicians #artists #songwriters #whatyougonnadoaboutit (à Worldwide)

[thesonicshow]

#whatyougonnadoaboutit http://ift.tt/2mbWlz5

[loveneversleeps]

So Friday night...

..... my friend Amanda and I went to a bar. We were sitting at a booth, just talking and drinking. The bar we were st had the Spurs game on so people were pretty tipsy. At one point during the night, a very drunk woman walked over to our table, she blocked her mouth so I couldn't see, and said something to Amanda that made her laugh. After she left I said "what was that?" Amanda tells me, "I only caught he end, but she said 'your boyfriend has an amazing mustache".

[you-and-your-fckn-rope]

Little islands #beach #campingtrip #pingahead #chips #swag #donewiththatone #drinks #fire #thedogrolledinshit #spagghetti #butts #cake #birthday #sheadoggo #whatyougonnadoaboutit

[ecotone99]

[HM] Patrick "Penis Pan" Murphy

Yo dudes, welcome to this story. It’s a wild ride with lots of ups and downs like a rollercoaster. Aww, man it had my head spinning when I saw this. Okay, so the main character is this dude called Patrick Murphy. Patrick turned out to be completely crazy. But back when Patrick was still a little dude, he was pretty naughty…

“Aww, fuck, Ma”, said Patrick to his mom, “why do none of the SOBs in kindergarten like me?”

He body-checked his bulldog-like chest into his mom’s seat in the car. By now, his mom had almost permanent back pain.

“It’s because you’re a violent kid. You should try being more empathetic with your friends and family.”

This was more or less what she told him every time he asked. By the time they got to the councillor’s office, Patrick had body-checked her three more. His mom’s mantra with every hit she took was that hopefully, the councillor could get Patrick a refill on his Ritalin prescription.

“I fucking hate being send to the councillor again, ma!”

“Then you shouldn’t have threatened Mrs. O’Donnell with the scissors I bought you. You promised they’d only be for art,” said his mom as she drove with one hand and took her second antidepressant of the day with the other.

“Well, I fucking lied, ma. Whatyougonnadoaboutit?” he yelled, followed by spitting on her.

* * *

Yo! What did I tell you all? This Patrick dude is wild. Not in a good way, though. So, like, when he was in high school this guy still had no friends.

“I hate not having any friends, Jesus fuck!” exclaimed Patrick seemingly to no one as he kicked the door shut on his way into class as he took a Ritalin pill.

All of the kids awkwardly tried to avoid eye contact as he sat in his usual seat at the front of the class. What’s that, Reader Dudes? Don’t troublemaking kids usually sit in the back? That could be true but true for normal troublemakers. But Patrick wasn’t like them. Patrick was worse.

Everyone in school knew not to sit in the seat with PM carved into it, of which there was one in every classroom. Patrick liked to sit in the front because he could torment his teachers. But he was never explicit about it. He was always subtle about it in a way that his teachers never felt like it wasn’t quite justified to get mad at it. And if they ever did, he would always pull the same trick:

“Aww, Teach, what the hell are you getting mad at me for? My dad O.D.ed on coke just the other day.”

This was true except for the “just the other day” part since it happened last year: Patrick walked in on his dad snorting his last few lines. Out of the few sentences Patrick understood him say was his dad telling him to shoot some lines.

Damn! That was dark. Anyways, before the class started, Patrick made conversation with the girl sitting right behind him. She was new and didn’t know about the seating politics.

Patrick popped a Ritalin pill and said, “How’s it going, there?”

No answer.

“You’re kinda hot. What’s your name?”

The girl, Bridget, was afraid to say anything, probably because she thought he might have a mental disorder.

“You know, Fucking is my middle name,” he said with proud smile, exposing his yellow teeth.

Patrick actually believed that his middle name was ‘Fucking’. This started because, whenever Patrick did something did something really bad, like kick the neighbours’ dog or break a school window, his mom would always yell “Patrick fucking Murphey!”

When the lunch bell rang, the classroom Patrick was in always turned into the detention room. The principle thought of that rule so that Patrick couldn’t skip his detention. He was once sentenced to detention for every lunch for the rest of the year.

He didn’t care about detention, though. He just spent his time colouring the inside of PM with a pencil and crushing up Ritalin pills to snort them. This time, Patrick’s attention was caught by guys sitting a few rows behind playing the Penis Game. I won’t spend time explaining it to you guys, Reader Dudes, ‘cause you’ve probably already heard of it.

When one of them whispered “penis!” loud enough for Patrick to hear but not loud enough for the teacher to do the same, Patrick wondered what they were doing. He then saw three girls apparently doing the same thing right outside the classroom, by the lockers.

He felt like he needed dig deeper. Patrick glared right at his teacher and reached for his pencil case, where he kept his scissors (still his weapon of choice for insubordinate authority figures). When he realized that the teacher understood his message, he reached for his phone and looked up what the fuck is penis whispering. (He even swore to Google).

After sorting through a few pornos (only one of which he watched… with the sound on just loud enough for Bridget to hear), he found the Urban Dictionary entry for the Penis Game.

The next day, he wanted to play too. But since he was too weird to have any friends, our protagonist made up a set of rules to play alone:

you start by whispering “penis”,

you have to say it louder each time, and

you lose when you get in trouble

He walked in playing the version he made up into homeroom the next morning. As soon as he got to talking level, his teacher yelled at him.

“What’s wrong with you?!?” shouted one of his classmates.

Patrick liked the risk of the game and the attention it was giving him.

It wasn’t for another two weeks that he got tired of it and decided to step the game up. The new goal was to beat his old record.

“Why do you keep walking into a room and shouting that word?” his mom said with concern and sadness. She took an antidepressant. By this point, she developed an addiction no one but her could deny.

“I’m Playing the goddamn Penis Game, woman. Haven’t you heard of it, you dumb bitch!”

This is where this dude goes completely bananas. Patrick spent the rest of his life walking into rooms yelling “penis!” as loud as he could.

“Isn’t that the guy from detention?” said Brian.

Yeah, I think it is,” said Lion.

Why is he just yelling “penis!” like that?”

“Who knows. Do you know his name?” said Lion.

“Nah, bro. Penis Man?”

They both let out a stoner laugh.

“Dude, is that why he keeps carving PM everywhere?” said Brian.

“Is he, like, not normal.”

“I don’t know, man, I think he’s just stupid.”

From there, the name spread. Everyone thought he was called Penis Man. They thought he had some weird mental problem like the guy from Superbad.

The End

While this story might seem fictional, I swear to God it’s real. Whenever I go out to sesh, I see Patrick “Penis Man” Murphey yelling “penis!” louder and louder each time and begging strangers for food and Ritalin. Look hard enough and you, Reader Dudes, might see him too.

submitted by /u/chefgazpacho [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/3dBgtFW

[awesumestofall]

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A post shared by Shante Sullivan Slagle (@shanteslagle)

This shit has got me rolling! #doggiesays #fuckyocake #ithrewitontheground #whatyougonnadoaboutit #notasinglefuckgiven