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perryavenue · 11 months

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rainjoy Has A New Post. It's Personal

rainjoy is one of my favorite Klaine fanfic authors. Their first Klaine fanfic was published on LiveJournal in 2011, their last in 2021. Health issues have become more intense over time. Their most famous works, All The Other Ghosts and Grey, were published in 2012 and 2013. So those who've joined the fandom fairly recently may not even know about their other fics, the most recent one being from 2021. rainjoy has written Klaine in every genre: high school!Klaine, college!Klaine, married!Klaine, supernatural!Klaine, fantasy!Klaine, and even superhero!Klaine.

Here is a link to rainjoy's works on Live Journal

Here's a link for Dreamwidth

I hope that you'll help boost it by re-blogging. Thanks in advance, @klaineccfanficlibrary and @todaydreambelieversfic

This is rainjoy's post from today (October 27, 2023).

"Hello, I’m still alive.

Hello, I do mean it, hello anybody around to see this, I really hope you’ve been well, I’m sorry I haven’t been around, I *haven’t* been well. But I have, over a course of fucking months, actually written something, so I’m writing *this* here so I don’t need to leave a novel-length author’s note on it, as some kind of explanation of where I’ve been.

Largely, I’ve been in bed, I’m likely going there again after posting this, they need to invent new words for how tired I am so much of the time, my upgraded wheelchair is worth about as much as my *laptop*, my life revolves around Can I? Probably not. and lots and lots and lots of ‘resting’. I’ve not been well, but please don’t worry, I’ve not been unhappy. This is the golden age of being ill, the sheer quantity of stuff out there to amuse the bedbound – I have books and podcasts, all of Netflix, I practically live on Sky: Children of the Light, when I’m too dopey even for that I have Animal Crossing, when I am genuinely such a puddle of not-human lethargy that all I need is for time to pass until I feel just slightly better again I have videos of other people playing video games on YouTube and I’m sorry my darling baby moths I will pick you up and help you every single time but it will never not be funny watching someone go through Eden for the first time on YouTube, it just never will not make me laugh, oh my gods I’m so *sorry* my loves <3

So anyway, there’s all that, that’s where I’ve been, life really does not work out the way you planned it to, huh? Because outside of my bed, I know I have messages and emails and someone got a tattoo?? You got a tattoo and I’m just really sorry I haven’t been in touch, my energy has to be paid out like a miser, if I want to wash my hair then wow the world is really not getting anything else out of me, you know? But I am still here, and I do still love the things I love. I still think all of it is worth it. I think the world is a *lot* of fun, though I bear in mind that still, and always, we live through very frightening and distressing times. Which actually makes me think we need to cling to the things we love *more*, not less, love makes better people of us, when we let it.

So I did watch the new season of Good Omens when it came out, and safe to say I was not impressed, but it did jog in me the memory that didn’t I write a sequel to it? Yes I did, and it involved *all* that blood. But I reread it – it’s like reading a stranger’s writing after so long – and that jogged the memory: Didn’t you start a sequel to *this*?

Yes I did! Two thirds written, actually, hurrah for my past self. The last third took, I don’t know, when did the new season come out, it took that long. I used to sneeze out this sort of thing. This, now, is getting at my arms, it’ll be another lie down soon. But anyway, the point of all this: I live yet. In the next few days I *hope* I will be formatting and posting a sequel to But Thou Readst Black because of course everyone wants *that* back in their heads again, my gods. And I hope hope hope you’ve been well, I do think of people while I’m stuck doing nothing but pooling my brain out of my ears on YouTube. Look after yourselves, take care of each other, my gods you tattooed yourself I mean more power to you but it alarms me when things I make turn out to be *permanent*, you know? It feels like I barely touch the world anymore, my circumference has become so small, but it makes the world seem only more precious. Take good care of it, and of yourself as part of it. And very, very much love, to anyone remaining to see this, much love <3"

#rainjoy #klaine fanfic #rainjoys writing

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believesthings · 1 year

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It Dies With You // Jason Sudeikis x Famous Reader

A/N: I wouldn’t call this a sequel necessarily, but in my mind this story exists in the same universe as “the inspiration invitation”. Although, you do not by any means have to read that story first. Secondly, I feel a little weird about this one since I believe it is the first thing I've written that explicitly mentions Olivia and the fallout of their relationship. This is purely a work of fiction and I mean no ill will towards any real life people mentioned below.

Summary: Sensing your boyfriend’s frustration about recent headlines involving his past relationship, you encourage him to process those feelings by putting them into song.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

You can hear the clicking of laptop keys and a drink thudding the top of the kitchen counter. You peak your head around the corner, seeing Jason in front of his computer. The light of the laptop screen highlights his face. If you look close enough, you can see the furrow of his brow. He’s agitated and you suspect you know why.

“Jas, honey? You alright?” You shuffle over to him bringing your hand up to the nape of his neck, massaging the muscle underneath. He sighs, looking down and running his hands over his face. He removes his hat, sitting it down on the kitchen counter and looks back up at you. “Yeah, it’s just… you know.” His hands shoot out towards the laptop screen, vaguely motioning towards the words illuminated there. He looks back up at you and you take a moment to take in his features. He seems tired. Hopefully, there should be a break in your schedules coming up soon. The both of you could use a day of serious rest.

Glancing at the computer screen in front of you, your suspicions are confirmed. Headlines about Jason’s failure to pay child support and bleeding his ex dry with legal fees causes you to release a sigh of your own. You hate that Jason is having to deal with this.

“Oh, hon. I’m so sorry.” You move your hand up and gently run your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. He leans over and kisses the inside of your wrist before shutting his laptop screen closed. He stands and grabs your hand walking you both over to couch. You settle in, resting your feet in his lap and he run his hands over your legs.

“I’m just…. I don’t know what to do. I can’t seem to win.”

You don’t say anything. You reach your hand out to squeeze his arm to signal that you’re there, you’re listening but you leave the space for him to talk.

“I don’t even care about the romantic aspect of it anymore, obviously.” He says gesturing to you, implying that he has since moved on. “But she is still the mother of my children, you know? I have to see her and interact with her for the sake of the kids, one of which has her exact fucking face and it’s hard not to see her when I look at him.”

“I just… I thought we had an agreement. I thought it was understood that the kids came first. They are the top priority. Regardless of where she and I were at in our lives, we never wanted to compromise the relationship with the kids. I will never understand how she can joke and laugh with me on Sunday at our son’s soccer game and then file shit like this in the court system on Monday and then look me in the eyes the next weekend like it didn’t happen.”

“The kids are getting older. What if they end up seeing this stuff online one day? I.. I don’t want them to think I’m a bad father. I don’t want them to think I don’t care.”

You sit up quickly. “No, Jason. I’m going to cut you off right there. You are not a bad father. You have to know that. They know that. I’m sure they do. Its evident in everything you do. Besides, all that really matters is how you treat them. What they will remember above everything else is how you make them feel.”

He sighs again, squeezing your hand. “I know. I just.. I hate this.”

You take a minute to look at him, an idea swirling in your mind. “Come with me.” You say. He looks at you, clearly a bit puzzled but follows nonetheless.

You lead him into the bedroom, digging through one your bedside drawers and pulling out a leather bound notepad. Turning back to survey Jason, your eyes travel down to his jeans setting your sights on the two red pens tucked into his pockets. Perfect.

Gliding towards him, you pick out one of the red pens and hold the notebook and pen out to him to take.

Giving you a quizzical look, he says, “what’s this?”

“I think you need to write.”

He scrunches his nose at you, “like a diary?”

Shaking your head at him, you continue, “No. like a song.”

He stares at you for a moment, not seeming to understand you. “I think you’ve forgotten that I am not the songwriter in this relationship sweetheart.”

“Oh, now I don’t know about that. I saw that video you made with Charlie Puth. There’s untapped potential in there, Sudeikis. I can tell.”

“Yes, a video I believe has been marked private. For good reason.”

You lead him to the bed, laying the journal face open on your lap. “Look, in all seriousness, I really think it might help. Part of the magic of songwriting is taking all of that shit that is ruminating in your brain and getting it out.”

He runs his hands over his chin looking down at you, “yeah but with songwriting you have to like make shit rhyme.”

“So? Fuck that. You don’t have to make it rhyme if you don’t want to. It’s your words. Plus, you’re really gonna look me in the eyes and tell me that you can’t come up with a rhyme, Mr. improv comedy?”

“…fair enough.”

You grab his hands, playing with his finger tips. “If you truly don’t wanna do it - forget I even said anything. But I think getting all those feelings out on paper, expressing it, helps you let go of it. It’s a way to take those thoughts that creep around in the corners of your mind and finally put them to rest. You write it and it no longer has to belong to your mind alone. You finally get to put a bookend to it and create space for something else. You don’t have to do anything with it. You don’t even have to share it with me if you aren’t comfortable. I’m not asking you dissect your creative integrity. I’m just asking you to get in front of a page and write. It doesn’t have to be poetic. Fuck that. Just write what you feel. If you don’t get it out, once you die this idea dies with you. Get in front of the page and get it out, if for no other reason than to make your mind a clearer place to live in.”

It was a much longer speech than you were planning on giving, but you really wanted to try to get your point across to him.

“I get you. It’s a little bit of a morbid way of looking at it - with the whole dying thing, but I get you. “

He grabs the notebook and pen from the bed, twirling the red pen between his fingers.

“I’ll tell you what. I’m going to go into the kitchen, tidy some stuff up. You take some time and space and see if anything comes to you that you’d like to write down. If you want to talk, you know you’ve always got my ear.”

He peers down at you again, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on your lips. “Ok. Thank you.”

You head into the kitchen and start tidying up. You and Jason decided that you wanted to make cookies earlier that day and there was a surprising amount of clutter left over from the whole affair. You can hear Jason mumbling in the other room but true to your word, you leave him be. He emerges a couple hours later, coming up to hug you from behind while you are wiping down the kitchen counter. He places a soft kiss to the crook of your neck. “Thank you.” He murmurs.

“Of course. Everything okay?” You look up at him when you ask. His eyes always give him away.

“Yeah. You were right, of course.” He smiles at you.

He pauses for a minute before asking, “could you.. take a look at it?”

“You’re sure? I wasn’t joking when I said I don’t have to read it if you’re not comfortable.”

“I know but I am. Comfortable, I mean. I know you. I trust you. Plus, if anyone knows songwriting it’s the woman who has one 6 Grammy awards.”

“5 actually, if I win this year, it’ll be 6.” You smirk, correcting him.

He rolls his eyes at you. “Well, you’re gonna win. Come on now. I’m being optimistic about your chances by rounding up.”

“Come on, dork.”

You finish up in the kitchen, leading Jason back to the bedroom. You see the notebook open on the bed. You point towards it, looking at Jason and he gives you a curt nod. “I’m just gonna pop in the bathroom and get ready for bed while you look that over, honey.”

He leans in and gives you a kiss and he’s off, shutting the bathroom door behind him. You’re sure that it is partially true that he’s getting ready for bed. But you’re also sure that even though he was comfortable with you reading what he’s written, he didn’t want to be in the room while you did so. You didn’t blame him. You knew from your own personal experience how vulnerable an activity it could be.

Honestly, you were glad he did because looking down at his scrawl on the page below, he clearly didn’t hold back.

It’s funny how a memory turns into a bad dream

When running wild turns volatile

It’s not funny how it changes

Ended up like strangers

And we burned down our paper house

There were other words and phrases scribbled out throughout the page. Ideas written in margins and then crossed through upon reflection. You were only able to make out one phrase clearly: who taught you wonder, learning, and love were supposed to be easy?

It didn’t really fit, so you understand why he scratched through it but you liked it. You made a mental note of it. If Jason was okay with it, perhaps you would use it in a project of your own.

Another paragraph caught your attention.

They say it’s better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all

That could be a load of shit

But I just need to tell you all

Some mistakes get made

That’s alright, that’s okay

You can think that you’re in love

When you’re really just engaged

Some mistakes get made

That’s alright, that’s okay

In the end it’s better for me

That’s the moral of the story

The bathroom door opens and you look up to see Jason leaning against the doorway.

“It’s good.” You tell him.

“Yeah? Like 5 Grammy awards good?”

“Eh, 5 might be overselling it. Maybe more like 3 nominations, 2 wins kind of good.” You joke back at him.

“Well in that case…” he trails off while walking over to the shelf by your side of the bed, plucking two of your awards and bringing them over to his bedside table. “I’ll go ahead and accept my accolades now.”

You go over to the shelf, examining the remaining awards. “Well it looks like you nicked the album of the year award and you’ve only written one track. So, it sounds to me like you have some more work to do before you go accepting anything, mister.”

“…maybe I’ll do that.”

“Yeah?”

He nods at you. “I’m not saying I wanna switch careers or anything, I’ll leave that to the professional in this relationship, but it felt good. You always seem to know what I need - you’re so busy being you, you don’t even realize how amazing you are.”

He pulls you into bed with him and begins kissing your neck.

“Aren’t you gonna thank me properly? You know…The Roy Kent method?”

His beard is scratching against your skin and you hear him chuckle near your ear. “Ah- yes. I’m familiar.”

He kisses down your body. “I think that sounds like an excellent idea.”

#jason sudeikis #jason sudeikis x reader #jason sudeikis rpf #jason sudeikis fluff #jason sudeikis fanfiction #jason sudeikis fanfic #jason sudeikis fic #jason sudeikis blurb #jason sudeikis imagine #fluff #rpf #x reader

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boltupbitches · 10 months

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One Kiss - Nick Bosa Part 5

Natalie rubbed her hands nervously down the front of her skirt, adjusting her top again and checking her hair in the mirror. She wasn’t certain why her fixation with her reflection had her holed up in the bathroom of her lawyer’s office, but here she was.

She had been ill the past two days, nauseous and weak. She chalked it up as nerves since today would be the day she would officially begin her divorce proceedings. It was nerve-wracking. She had a face full of makeup to cover up the dark eyes, but she knew the puffiness of her face was still there, no matter the cold compresses she applied to her face. ‘Probably my cholesterol or blood pressure from stress eating.’ She thought as she gently prodded her right cheek, watching the fullness of her cheek bounce back immediately.

Nick had been on edge as well. He couldn’t take off from practice in the middle of the season and instead settled with checking in on Natalie while at the facility.

She knew he was worried about her, but she was starting to worry that her baggage was impacting his game.

—------

Nick had come home yesterday evening in a bad mood. He didn’t call like he typically did when getting out of practice and instead came right home, breezing past Natalie to the bathroom and shutting the door loudly behind him.

She wasn’t sure what was up with him but decided that working outside on the patio was the best bet until he cooled off.

About an hour later he made his way outside and squeezed onto the outdoor sofa, pulling her into him and breathing deeply.

After a while, he spilled about how he had gotten into a disagreement with a teammate who was making remarks about him being too distracted for their upcoming game in a few days. It turned into an exchange of words and both men ended up getting sat down in their head coach's office where they were thoroughly chewed out for their conduct.

Natalie remained quiet throughout his tale, not interrupting him and waiting when he paused for him to continue. After he finished, she gently pressed a kiss to the crown of his head and said, “I’m worried about you, Nick.”

He lifted his head off her shoulder lazily and stared at her with confusion, “What do you mean? I’m fine.”

“Well,” She started to say, biting her lip and thinking for a moment how to word it. “I just worry that all of my stuff is going to hurt you and your job. You have a contract extension coming up next season. I don’t want to contribute to your distractions.”

Nick sighed and sat up, rubbing his hands over his face and staring blankly ahead at the setting sun in the distance.

Natalie quietly packed away her laptop and folder, promising herself she’d finish up her work tomorrow. She was still bundled in her sweatshirt as she shivered at the cold sensation from the evening breeze.

Nick had noticed and pulled her gently into him, wrapping his warm arms around her as he pulled her into his lap. He pressed a kiss to the corner of her draw, moving across her cheek with gentle pecks until he pressed his lips into hers, his lips coaxing entry as his hand snuck into her yoga pants. He pulled back and stared into her hooded eyes with his own. “You’re not a distraction to me. You keep me focused and you give me a purpose outside of my career. Don’t ever think you’re hurting my career. Let me worry about that shit.” He pressed his lips into hers once more.

Natalie pulled back and nodded softly, her body already humming the second he pressed a kiss to her jaw. His fingers dancing along her panty-line wasn’t helping the heat pulling between her legs.

It didn’t take long until they were back inside with Natalie sprawled out naked on the couch, her back arched as Nick pumped his fingers into her cunt, his tongue pressed against her clit as he teased her to completion.

She didn’t have to wait long until she felt the tell-tale sign of her orgasm approaching, her legs raising and her back tensed as the band snapped.

Nick had wasted no time lapping it all up, making sure to keep eye contact with Natalie as he sucked his fingers clean of her essence.

She eagerly rode him the second he sat down, her legs trembled as she mounted him. She had cried loudly as her legs burned and shook with the force at which she was bouncing on him.

At some point, Nick had picked up that she was tired and slowing down. His hands held her hips firmly as he took over and bounced her on him, a smirk on his face as he heard her incoherent cries of pleasure and pleads for him to go harder.

And that was how their night went, Nick keeping her distracted from her divorce lawyer appointment, and her giving him the physical touch he so desperately craved when not in her presence. They were a mess, but they were a mess for each other.

—----

“Well,” her lawyer, Matthew Stern, sighed loudly. “This is quite the predicament. I am impressed with the amount of work you’ve put in to gather evidence, Ms. Collins.” He stared at the financial transactions in his hands, “You say that he has been funneling this into another fund?”

Natalie nodded. “I believe so.. He has a child on the way with his mistress. I found out through social media, but I have not confronted him directly on the matter yet. I think the money is either for the child or for him to keep hidden if we divorce and he’s taken by the mother of the child for child support.”

“It’s always a possibility, and not the most shocking one, unfortunately. Much more common than you think among divorcing couples.” His face pulled into a frown. “Mr. Bosa mentioned that you had some safety concerns as well.”

“I’m sorry?” Natalie asked in shock, “I..um.. Mr. Bosa?”

“Yes, Nicholas Bosa.” He gave her a knowing look. “I spoke with your boyfriend this morning before you arrived. He mentioned covering the fee for all of this and brought up a few things he thought would be helpful. A nice man, Ms. Collins. I’m glad to know you have someone on your side in this whole ordeal who is supporting you. It won’t be easy if the husband decides to contest and drag this out in court, which seems likely.” Mr. Stern explained in a matter-of-fact tone.

Natalie nodded dumbly, her brain still processing that Nick was somehow now involved, by his own volition, in her divorce efforts. She wasn’t sure what she was feeling in that moment. Anger? Sadness? Hurt? Embarrassment? Frustration? It was a toxic cocktail of feelings that she choked down along with the bile rising in her throat.

“Excuse me, I think I’m feeling sick,” Natalie said nervously, standing and gripping the arm of the chair she was just sitting on as she swayed forward for a moment, her head suddenly feeling light as the room started to spin slightly.

“Ms. Collins!” Mr. Stern shot up nervously and made his way around his desk to help steady her. “Let’s sit you down.” He helped her back down and yanked a trash can over to her in case she threw up.

He quickly whipped out his cell phone and called his secretary in immediately. “Stay with her,” He instructed as he stood up, “she looks like she’s going to pass out. I’m calling an ambulance.”

Natalie was sitting there in a daze, a cold sweat breaking out as she leaned forward and heaved into the trash can, her skin clammy and pale as she shook.

The secretary held her hair back, trying to keep Natalie steady as the woman slumped more into her seat. “Ms. Collins?” She asked nervously.

Natalie couldn’t bring herself to answer as her eyes closed and darkness consumed her consciousness.

—---------

The steady beep was the first thing that Natalie noticed, followed by the all-familiar smell of disinfectant that let her know she was in the hospital.

She squeezed her eyes tightly before opening them, her eyes blinking as she took in the darkened room with just a sliver of light coming in through the doorway. Shifting, she flinched as she felt an uncomfortable tug on her wrist and looked down to see an IV set up in her arm.

She wasn’t dreaming. She really was in a hospital room. “What the fuck?” she called out, unsure of what the hell was going on in that moment.

“Nat?” a deep voice asked drowsily.

Natalie turned her head to see Nick sprawled out on a pull-out recliner next to her bed, his large frame barely fitting on the furniture as he had a blanket draped over his shoulders. He must have been sleeping.

Nick blinked a few times before quickly coming to fully and leaning up to turn the light on above them.

Both of them blinked in shock at the sudden brightness. “Fuck, sorry. My bad.” He groaned out, turning the light off again. “I don’t know how to use these switches in here. I’ll buzz for the nurse.” He mused as he reached for the call button and pressed it.

Natalie said nothing as she pressed her head back against the pillow beneath her. “The last thing I remember was seeing my lawyer at 2 pm.. What time is it?”

Nick checked his phone and said, “10:00 pm. You’ve been sleeping this whole time. I got you moved into a private suite until you’re discharged. There was no way in hell I was letting you out there to get sick or something if you had to share a room.” He said as he put his phone away.

Natalie nodded, not wanting to push back against what Nick said just a moment ago. She was just glad that the spinning sensations and nausea were finally over. “How did you find out?” She knew he wasn’t on her emergency contact form.

“Mike Stern called me as soon as the ambulance took you. Gave me the hospital name that he got from the EMT. I was just getting out of the facility when the call came through. I quickly got here. They wouldn’t let me see you at first. Thankfully, Stern’s assistant rode along in the ambulance and had your stuff. I had to use your phone to call your mom to get permission for them to talk to me.”

Natalie groaned. “You spoke with my mom, Nick?”

Her head was starting to hurt and her heart rate went up a bit, making the monitor beep loudly.

Nick leaned over and rubbed his hand down her cheek, “Woah, woah. It’s ok. Your mom was nice about everything… She said she’d talk with you more about everything when she flies in next week.”

Natalie nodded and looked away, blinking back her tears. She was frustrated that more and more people were getting involved in all of this. This was one thing she wanted to handle herself. She wanted to tell her mom at a later date.

Nick noticed her silence and opened his mouth to continue talking when a knock at the door interrupted them. “Come in.” He called, his eyes still glued to Natalie’s sullen frame. He reached up and turned the lights on, wincing at the brightness now alighting the room.

“Mrs. Collins?” the doctor asked as she moved out of the doorway and allowed the nurse in behind him who moved to Natalie’s side and proceeded to take her vitals.

“That’s me.” She said flatly. Her head was killing her and at this moment, she couldn’t find it in her to fake friendliness.

“I’m Dr. Kenneth and I’m in to speak with you about your condition. I heard you passed out today after experiencing a few days of nausea and weakness. Is that correct?” The doctor moved to her side and sat down on the stool in the corner of the room.

“Yes. I was at an appointment. I haven’t been feeling well, but I figured it has been due to a stressful situation I’m dealing with in my personal life.”

The doctor’s eyes darted to Nick and back to her, a silent question there, asking for assurance that she was safe.

“Oh - no, I’m ok. He’s my boyfriend.” She rushed to explain. “I’m going through a divorce currently with my estranged husband… and it’s just been a lot on me.”

Her doctor nodded along. “Have you been experiencing anything different with sleeping, eating, or your menstrual cycle?” Her eyes glinted knowing behind them.

“Um.. not really?” She was unsure, worried where this line of questioning was going.

Nick had caught on as well and had perked up in his seat, leaning forward with his hands clasped in front of him, waiting to hear more.

“Ms. Collins, my reason for asking is because we noticed something with your blood work. You results came back that you are pregnant.” She spoke softly.

Natalie just stared at her blankly, not understanding what she was saying to her. “I’m sorry. I’m what?”

“You’re pregnant. How far along, we aren’t certain of course, but it appears to be early on in the pregnancy. Which explains the bouts of nausea, exhaustion, hypersensitivity to sounds and light, and the extra stress.”

She stopped speaking and stared at the couple in front of her.

Natalie was clearly in shock.

Nick? He was staring at Natalie, more specifically her stomach area tucked under the blanket. There were tears in his eyes as he wordlessly reached up and wiped the corner of his eye, catching the stray tear that was streaking down his cheek.

“I’m going to go ahead and leave you two to discuss the results. Other than the pregnancy discovery, Mrs. Collins, all of your other labs came back fine. Please be careful with your stress as it can exasperate symptoms and put additional stress on your system.”

She stood up and reached out to shake Nick’s hand, gripping his large hand tightly as she offered him a close-lip smile. “Congratulations.” She turned back to Natalie, “Please give us a call if you need anything additional. We are going to keep you tonight just for observation to make sure you’re okay and aren’t experiencing any signs of further fainting spells.”

After the doctor left with the nurse, the room was silent once more, save for the rapid heart rate and breathing of the two in the room.

“What are we going to do?” Natalie asked him, her eyes unsure as she searched Nick’s eyes. “Nick… this isn’t the right time.” Her eyes teared up. “There’s so much going on with my divorce. This isn’t a good time.”

Nick nodded and lowered his eyes, not wanting her to see his disappointment at the reminder of reality. Their situation wasn’t ideal. A 5-month affair with a married woman wasn’t on his bingo card for 2022, but here he was. A soon-to-be-father wasn’t planned either.

Yet he was conflicted. He wanted this more than anything. He wanted to marry Natalie and have children with her. He wanted to come home to a family of his own. He wanted it more than he wanted a Super Bowl ring.

For the first time in his life, his career felt so minuscule to the feelings he felt with Natalie in his arms. With her, it was tunnel vision. He thought of her every morning and every night. Whether together or apart, she was on his mind. The books he read or the tv shows he watched, he thought of sharing them with Natalie.

He didn’t realize that he too was now crying softly, openly as the tears poured down his cheeks. He felt frustrated at the circumstances that surrounded their relationship.

In a perfect world, he would have met Natalie, an unmarried woman. They would both be happy at the unexpected news of a baby. She would have met his mom already and had dinner with his dad and stepmom. She would have met Joey and his grandma.

But right now, right now was reality. And reality wasn’t so warm and inviting to the idea of this fairy tale.

Nick wiped his eyes and looked back up at Natalie, forlorn but with understanding behind the pain in his eyes. “I’ll support you, Natalie, in whatever you decide.” His words hurt to speak aloud.

Natalie was crying with him, gently reaching her hand out as an invitation for him to come closer to her.

Nick got up and crawled in next to her, carefully tugging her against his chest, careful of her IV as he held her shaking frame. He pressed a kiss against her forehead, closing his eyes and breathing in the faint smell of her shampoo. Her face was pressed into his sternum, the fabric of his shirt damp from her tears.

They were heartbroken and unsure, but they had each other. Whatever Natalie decided, she hoped he had meant it when he said he’d be standing by her. She couldn’t stomach the idea of losing him right now - or ever.

Nick felt her breathing even out as she slipped into a much-needed rest. He continued to lay there with her, not wanting to move her. Instead, he adjusted the blanket over the two of them as he stared down at Natalie’s sleeping form.

He hoped she’d consider keeping the baby.

#nick bosa fanfiction #Nick bosa imagines #Nick bosa fanfic #one kiss series

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flowersandcandy06 · 2 months

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Long death from the net is long (at least like 2 months or so. Whoops o_o), so here's a very scuffed (a kind of long-ish) update post about what happened while I died

(...underneath the post cut, that is, because CLUTTER!!!!! yea👍)

Awwwwlriight caaammpers!! here's bulletpoint number one: I made a webcomic back in June- (WHAT!!!!!! 💥💥💥💥💥EXPLOSION NOISES BABIES CRYING etc etc etc-)

...yeah

Randomness is where I pretty much grow my dumb ideas at the wall (usually oc related stuff) and I do freak-all with the thing? And my friends and other people can join in and make entries too if they want to and I think it's so fun and stuff!!!! I LOVE RANDOMNESS RAHHHHHH-

Here's the concept art I made for it because "art block bad" and I have/had to destroy it,,,

...and here's the icon I made for the webcomic on ComicFury (host site)

Currently there's like 30+ entries that I (and my friends) have already made for it, and if I were to repost those entries each day to my online accounts, I feel that would take like..FOREVER to do. So I'm thinking that I either post all of the entries all at once, OR I post them every 30 minutes or so on my accounts.....ill think about it 👍

(here's the link to it, btw:

also I would like to add that you can comment on the pages with/without a ComicFury account, but if you want to subscribe to it then you gotta have an account. Just wanted to note that here 7_7)

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Alright,, Number 2: I've updated my personal website a TON while I was away (mainly in the "decoration hell" section of it)

I've also made a new guestbook since 123 Guestbook DIED!! (rip) and I'm currently working on an art archive to put on there as well, so I'll let y'all know when that's ready 👍👍👍👍 [Link]

Also regarding "The Hole" project-thingamajig: I have an idea for it kind of like..."rebranding" it almost??? In my head???? But I haven't executed it yet. Somethingsomething rp with OC's with friends in the same vein as that one sonic sjw blog from aeons ago because the izzzyzzz's video is smeared into my brain, but also not so chaotic as that whole mess was, I think. Does this make any sense to you

[...and here's the link to the hole also]

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Uhhh NUMBER 3: I made a LOT(?) of art stuff while I was dead again - mainly Randomness stuff - but also edits as well, surprisingly enough considering how my electronic drives are literally on life support because of me pretty much (joke)

I'll post them after I post the Randomness pages I think....and I'll get back into the swing of things like how I was doing before B,)

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Number 4: While I was dead I've been sleeping in a lot, sweating very badly (I HATE SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and oh yea skinning my PC because it's very fun and also I have the valve brainrot still (it never ends) and I gotta express that somehow. I'll post an image of what I've got when I hop on my laptop :0

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Number 5: what else do I add here uhh......oh yea- I've been into visual novels again since I played one recently and plan on playing the totally iconic ATASHINORIRI (banger game 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥) soon. I have so many game ideas in my head still but alas....I am just one girl....with a laptop on life support and whose tablet driver is broken (idk why) so MAYBE ONE DAY!!! but not today.................so sad!!!!

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Ok that's it from me. Um. Have a swag video from YouTube since you read this thing the whole way through and uhhh yea. bye *explodes*

youtube

#flowerposting #actual flower posting #long update post is long. my bad #ok prepare to be randomed on tomorrow.. heheheh >B)))#Youtube

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blysse-and-blunder · 1 year

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In lieu of a making a comeback

11:45pm Sunday, June 18, 2023

Went through my drafts folder today, scrolling quickly past all the posts I’ve saved for when I’ve finally finished succession and found that the last time I drafted a commonplace book post was back in early May? I may post that one later—it’s a bit of a time capsule now, and isn’t even fully finished (hence why I saved it rather than posting). but rather than wait for perfection—my lesson of the year it seems—I’ll dash off a short one here. for my own entertainment, which of course is the point.

[no read more on mobile; scroll or press J to skip]

Reading just started victoria goddard’s bee sting cake, the second book in the greenwing & dart series. jemis’ narrative voice sounds a little too much like fitzroy’s — exacerbating my prejudice against first-person narration where the pov character just kinda sounds like the author’s mouthpiece—but seeing more of ragnor bella, this area of the twelve kingdoms, these references to the Interim and the Last Emperor, remains delightful. Also about 80% of the way through ursula k. le guin’s a wizard of earthsea for the very first time, which has been a slow because I’m absolutely savoring it. one of those books that feels like it’s in conversation with Tolkien but goes about ‘let’s make magic literary’ in a totally different way.

watching the aforementioned succession. @hematiterings and I were doing a rewatch (for me; her first time) and we have now gotten up to season 4 episode 3, You Know the One, which means that there’s only one more episode before I’m in new territory. it’s been a really rewarding rewatch, even as I’ve been doing laptop work the whole time—I’m understanding characters’ relationships and the stakes of different decisions and events so much better than I did the first time.

listening for some reason this week and last I have not been able to get enough of Hildegard von Blingen’s bardcore covers. Specifically the cover of taylor swift’s willow, which is not a song I knew, cared about, or really even noticed before now? But it the bardcore cover elevates it so well? hildegard’s voice is so lovely? one of those sopranos I usually don’t quite believe are real—just a pleasure to listen to. bad romance and holding out for a hero have been on repeat as well, and pumped up kicks (buskin boots!) is so much more interesting than the original, but willow has been the one I actively searched by name.

playing d+d campaign one tonight for the first time since FEBRUARY. it was good! we laughed! R tried to seduce a jaguar! we might be starting a schism in a fantasy meso-american religion or possibly playing the ball game to avoid that! we won’t be able to play again until late July, early august! The real boss fight is—has always been—scheduling.

making look at this dining room chair I glued back together.

No after pictures yet but it was clamped for a few days and has now been back in use with no ill effects since…gosh, last weekend? so we’ll count that as a win.

working on between finishing my most recent slog of grading (32 review assignments, which I spent waaaaaay too long on out of an anxiety of needin to help them revise for their final portfolios) and the next round of grading (final exams for 385 are due…thursday, possibly? and portfolios Friday, though I expect I get many either late or with extension requests, my fault entirely), I think I have to write at least one job app for June 30 and. maybe try to slap some new stuff into ch 2. or conference paper? hm.

#ilcb #in lieu of a commonplace book #weekly roundup #hey y’all!

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angst-king · 6 months

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creepypasta HCs

Alright I'm going to go over some Headcanons that I have about creepypastas as well as the stuff with in it. I like a mix of fantasy/unrealism & realism. This may also contain gore/cannibalism, & mental illness and other themes

- The proxies all have their own version of sign or code language when they work together - Toby does have the 'hey masky' as a tic but it came from the many times of hearing the others calling Masky's name so much. Masky knows the difference between his tics and actually getting his attention - the proxies only use each others 'government names' when they are being serious - the mansion is sorta like the well of wonder from Ever After High, it moves around a lot depending on where the creepypasta's main location is - the proxies are given skeleton keys to get to different places - Jeff's cut-in smile wasn't originally as wide or big as people make it out to be. Yes after a while the skin would tare and rip, but the parts that were still closer together scarred. - The mansion is more of a 'meeting ground'/home base there are other places and such that many of the pastas inhabit. - Many of the gaming-type creepypastas like to freak people out through their electrical connections just for shits and giggles. Slowly driving their victims crazy with random changes to things on their laptop or phone - Sally doesn't do her things alone, she usually has another child spirit with her or another adult - Many of the creepypastas who weren't cannibalistic in their main stories did end up having to sort to cannibalism occasionally. Though most don't go very far with what they will eat, flesh, or blood and occasionally liver are the main ones. - Jeff's murderous rampage was a long-term paranoid psychosis episode where he felt like he had to kill those who would harm him, even if the threat to him was minor. A piece of his mind convinced him that people were out to get him and put him in a mental hospital. He had other delusions and paranoid thoughts before he 'went mental' but his parents just forced him to suppress - EJ isn't human (no shit) he has very animalistic tendencies and often struggles to communicate like a human especially if he's hungry. Yes he can stomach normal human food but only specific things like meat (especially raw), drinks, and sandwiches. (lol man will be a happy cannibal over a deli meat sub) - Alot of them often have random screaming fits - Liu often attracts a lot of child spirits like Sally and has since he was a kid, even jeff was used to hearing about Liu interacting with dead children. So when passes by graveyards he often will have a tiny child spirit follow him around. - Sully and Liu are a system, Sully has been around before the big accident with Jeff getting burned. A period before they moved houses Sully had went dormant leaving Liu to deal with things himself and came back after the burning accident. - Sully doesn't attack for no reason and he's not 'evil'....he just doesn't like being told what to do or listening to anyone else. He used trust jeff the most until the burning. So even when Liu for gave Jeff (in my hc I think he forgave him to an extent) Sully didn't trust Jeff not to lose it again - Ben often appears in people's bathtubs or bathroom mirrors to fuck with people. - he will make distorted dial-up computer noises in a person's headset as well - Ben used to do witchcraft secretly and asked for the gods to grant him 2 wishes when he learned he would be the cult sacrifice 1: let him die quickly & 2: let him reside in his favorite game as his promised paradise - Sally often visits her best friend (the one she played with the day her uncle came over) but she tries her best not to scare her away. She will often make Charlie (her teddy bear) appear on her best friend's bed at night as a way to have a 'sleepover'. Her best friend's parents thinks that she's just playing pretend or is having a hard time coping with the loss of Sally. - Sally often stays near Liu or Sully due to knowing how he gets along with child spirits, she likes the way they talk

#King's creepypasta HCs #King's HCz #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #king's rambling

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thessalian · 1 year

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Thess vs Self-Made Fun

A recent Tumblr post flagged up an interesting point: the last writers’ strike was way different because the pandemic happened. People learned a) all manner of ways to entertain themselves and b) turning that entertainment into entertainment (or education, or both) of others. We sang sea shanties. We watched pre-serum Steve Rogers cook his way through old cookbooks he got from flea markets. We got even more into The Fucking Chocolate Guy than we already were. New shows weren’t coming out because people couldn’t be in proximity of each other enough to film them, so we made our own damn entertainment, and provided the same to others.

But then I consider ... some of us had a distinct advantage. Because we already knew what it was to have nothing else to do, and got really good at making our own entertainment.

Consider: I was born in the late 70s. (Chronologically this puts me at very young Gen X or oldest Millennial, but a lot of that generational divide has more to do with when you got your start in ‘adult life’, or more to the point what advantages had been taken from your generation by the time you got your start in ‘adult life’, and I kind of started late since I lost a few years to mental illness, so lifestyle-wise I’m just Old Millennial. Still, that doesn’t really matter in this case.)

POINT IS I GREW UP IN THE 80s. My parents were divorced. My mother was working every hour the gods sent to climb the corporate ladder, alternating late nights at the office with night school to get her degree. She loved me - she still does - but she had to sacrifice being able to have time with me for being able to provide me with the opportunities she felt I deserved. So when I was younger, it was my school’s after-school programme until that closed, and often she’d just pick me up, pick up dinner, and head back to the office. I’d do my homework while eating KFC at a conference table, and then I had jack all to do. No smartphones. No laptops. No tablets. The one saving grace is that those old transcription machines worked on standard-sized audio cassettes at that time, so I could play my books on tape quietly in one of the cubicles, but I didn’t have many and I needed something else to do. So I raided the stationery cupboard and wrote a small newspaper called The Nightly Office, and sold subscriptions to the other poor souls working that late. (Apparently I was ahead of my time in savvy, too; I charged a dime for a one-off copy, three for a quarter, and ten for a dollar, which didn’t save any money but did save me doing anything but shoving their copy under their office door for at least two weeks.) Apparently there are a lot of retired insurance brokers who still have copies of that damn thing in their mementos boxes at home. My mother is among them.

Really wasn’t any different when I was old enough to get home from school and stay home on my own, either. TV was ... I mean, it was there, but depending on time of year, you could be in for a real dry spell as far as that was concerned. And yes, I read, but ... let’s face it, probably undiagnosed ADHD; I needed things to do. And again - there were consoles but they were underwhelming and frankly we couldn’t afford one. We couldn’t afford a VCR for a long time, either. It wasn’t a priority, I guess is closer to the truth. And even when we had a VCR and I finally got my original Nintendo Entertainment System and my Game Boy (both of which my mother annexed, by the way), games development hadn’t moved on much from arcade cabinets - it was all about “you have this many lives, there are this many levels, and everything will get harder and harder until you beat it”, which all worked to drain quarters out of stubborn kids’ pockets (and, given the popularity of Souls-likes and roguelikes, still has appeal). That sustained interest for awhile, but not long enough.

Point is I got into hobby stuff early. I learned to cook. I learned to read tarot cards. I learned face-painting and stage makeup. I learned sleight of hand. I learned jewellery-making. I tried fashion design for awhile. And when the pandemic hit and we locked down? I was fine. Video games were a lot better and I had a whole Steam library full of shinies, and that was one thing, but I also had my aromatherapy and perfume-making and soap-making and candle-making and cooking and resin casting and on and on. And I built on that. I have my garden. I make candy. I’ve expanded my horizons in terms of cookery. (I still want more Lego, but that’s beside the point.)

Long story short: you execs refusing to not only pay writers what they’re worth but insisting on clinging to an outdated payment model when it comes to residuals are short-sighted as fuck. There’s at least one whole generation of people like me - probably closer to three, thinking about it - and more will happen with the next one, with new parents having to work multiple jobs to make ends meet. Kids are going to be encouraged to make their own fun, and there’s an internet full of tutorials to show them how. We want the writers paid, because they give us wonderful entertainment. We are well aware that you are the ones who are making it so we don’t get the shows and movies we love, because you’ve been doing it for years. You scrap things so you don’t have to pay residuals. You cancel shows before their time, leaving them to either end on cliffhangers or cram their ending into one season (which NEVER WORKS). And it’s not just because streaming services and residuals either. Firefly was cancelled after one season, and that after it was aired out of order and had its time slot changed at least once, apparently to drive viewership numbers down. Angel had the same shit happen to it that Game of Thrones did; forced to cram an entire series-ending arc that was meant to encompass multiple seasons into less than one, and the entire show suffered as a result. These are not the only examples, but they’re the first two that come to mind, and I need to sum up because this is getting long.

So here it is: We have been fucked over by the execs for decades. The writers have done us nothing but good, for the most part. SHOW. THEM. THE. MONEY. We can wait. We’ve had ample practice at finding other shit to do, and even if we’re not all dedicated hobbyists, we’ve all got piles of books we’ve been meaning to read, games we’ve been meaning to play, and shows we’ve been meaning to watch that are actually finished properly. Now that this economic nightmare has made our fun-money rather scarce, and there’s a breathing space before The Next Big Thing hits, we can get around to doing that. This could last for years, and we’d just be grateful to finally be able to whittle down that book pile we’ve been neglecting for six years.

YOU HAVE BEEN MAKING US STOCKPILE THE NEW AND SHINY FOR DECADES. WE SPENT YEARS MAKING OUR OWN FUN IN OUR OWN HOMES. WE ARE FORTIFIED AGAINST THE BOREDOM YOU INSIST WE MUST BE FEELING. FUCK OFF AND PAY THE WRITERS. WE CAN WAIT.

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victorluvsalice · 1 year

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However, there are only so many puzzles you can do, as my family found out during the height of the pandemic. So it wasn't long before the gang started doing their own things again -- Smiler hopped back on their laptop to start modding Blicblock; Alice got back on the old travel easel and started painting again (first another surreal painting, then a flirty painting), and Victor went out in the rain to practice his Mischief magic -- and immediately learned Burgliate, the spell that lets you steal stuff. XD Welp then! Unsure what to do with him after that, and not wanting him to stay out in the rain (or, accurately, out in the THUNDERSTORM -- as you can see by that picture of the poor fried snorkeler, things were getting dangerous out there!), I had him go inside to use the toilet, then upgrade that and the sink because, hell, we already did the bed. *shrug* It's all Handiness skill! He then went to join Smiler at the kitchen table with some leftover fish for breakfast, and the two shared a few cute flirts as Alice finished up her flirty painting and discovered it was a masterpiece! :) Only a 5K one, though, so I decided she could keep that one to display rather than selling it. :p I was just having her go in and hit the toilet while Victor cleaned up his breakfast dishes --

When who should show up but one Leila Illes, to ask Smiler AGAIN if they wanted to be best friends. O.O WTF -- we established this yesterday, Leila! You're too new a friend to get that label! Smiler sent her packing a little more tersely this time, and she slumped out, all dejected. I can't say I feel too sorry for her, though -- I've never had a Sim who, after getting rejected for best friendship the previous day, and with the negative sentiments still active, showed up the following day to try again! O.o What the hell, game...

ANYWAY -- with Leila having learned a few things about boundaries (we hope), the cuteness continued with Alice getting her breakfast (some nice crumpets) and she and Victor chatting at the table while Smiler finished up their mods. Smiler, feeling peckish themselves at this point, then asked for a drink from Victor, which he was happy to give...

And then I was like "well, it IS their honeymoon" and sent them to woohoo again. XD What, it kept them busy! Much like showering in the rain kept Alice busy. *sigh* I got her dressed again, then -- once Victor and Smiler were done with their woohoo -- sent her in to have a nice makeout with Victor while Smiler tested their Blickblock mods with a game. Victor then settled in for a nap while Alice went outside to dance...

And once Victor's energy was mostly full, I was like "oh screw this -- I kind of wanted them home for Spookfest anyway" and had the gang end the vacation early and head home.

...and then I had to reload the save I had fortunately made right before that decision (right about when Victor went to bed) because I was like "oh shit, I left all their fish and leftovers and stuff in the fridge!" So I quickly grabbed all that and THEN sent them home. *whew* There have been a lot of moments in this game lately that emphasizes the importance of saving at key moments, haven't there? Save often, people! You never know when it'll save you!

#sims 4 #the lazy save #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler always #yeah my family did a looot of puzzles during the worst years of the pandemic #mostly because Mom had gotten Dad one as a Christmas present right before and we all kind of became addicted #we haven't done one in a while though #maybe one day!#but yes some cute flirty times from the gang #Victor doing more upgrading because well why the hell not #and Leila being a bit on the stalkery side #like what the hell I thought for SURE after getting rejected once Sims didn't try again #Lady Smiler told you no YESTERDAY #this system is a liiiittle bit broken I must admit #but then again you can say that about a lot of things in Sims 4 #and while the woohoo was as much about giving them something to DO on the miserable rainy day #it DOES make sense for a couple on their honeymoon to woohoo more than once :P #I could have tried for different locations if it had been nicer out #maybe in the future #and yes got back to the house saw the notice saying Smiler had gotten their laptop back #and was like 'shit the stuff in the fridge!'#SAVE OFTEN EVERYONE #queued

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nebulouswinds · 2 years

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I posted 3,410 times in 2022

That's 1,503 more posts than 2021!

264 posts created (8%)

3,146 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@honeysuckle-venom

@bottledplants

@sarangkris

@notebooks-and-laptops

@nonsensicalnonsense

I tagged 840 of my posts in 2022

#birch speaks - 244 posts

#dao - 28 posts

#reminders - 26 posts

#dragon age - 22 posts

#critrole - 12 posts

#jupiter speaks - 11 posts

#jewish stuff - 9 posts

#m9 reunited - 8 posts

#quotes - 8 posts

#art - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but the love from them when you rescue them? thats almost worth having your computer unplugged at critical points or splashed boiling water

My Top Posts in 2022:

oh I'm watching a video by someone I like (not planning on taking the tips but I just like her) on studying && she's talking about studying in public places/cafes -- which is something I like! but I am not sure it would go over this semester, specifically

I am taking a criminology/deviance course progression. while listening to paranormal podcasts. there are crime scene photos in my textbook and lectures. it is. A Lot. and Not For Public

but also I like studying in public sometimes

7 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

My computer can't run games today bc it's Too Hot and I'm ill so I can't Do Anything Else/go out. Culminating in utter boredom

9 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

Matt let them flounder WAY longer than I would have, esp with a time limit on the session

9 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

MATT IS TRYING SO HARD TO TELL THEM TO NOT DO THIS FIGHT

20 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Been playing through Dragon Age Origins with my Brosca again. This is set just after Zevran has joined the party.

22 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #birch speaks

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fictionfixations · 3 months

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i figured it out

you know this image? (after i deleted a bunch of stuff to make space)

i deleted hsr to download zzz

which was enough.

and now theres space to also download hsr

i just have no clue how my laptop is going to respond to starting it up h a h a

and also just realizing this means all my settings have reset hfuisdhfis

in any case this wont last long once one of them has an update lOl tbh i just wanted to play the game as it is cause it seems like fun, i wanna go through the events and get the stuff for the pulls. maybe get the character i want and then dip

im. gonna go do other stuff first. like. uh. idk. eat. before i lock myself in for hours into a game im never playing again (not to say that its a bad game, but i really only have the storage to commit to like one hoyo game. and thats hsr.)

(and if youve seen my other post about like. idfk being able to play genshin now cause i was deleting a bunch of stuff for zzz and still didnt have enough space but had enough space for genshin. uh. yEAh. genshins deleted. maybe ill bring it back after i get rid of zzz. idk.)

i should probably show how much space i have left after downloading hsr but im lazy and dont wanna go back to this post. maybe in the future ill add it when its done but not rn

i probably shouldve shown before downloading it cause it tells you how much space it needs and how much space you have

and to be fair its like double the actual size so it can like. fuckin decompress(??) am i saying that right idfk idk this stuff

so its like

zzz needed 100, so getting rid of hsr gave it enough space

but then it actually only took like 50 gb, which gave like enough for honkai star rail's like. i think it mightve been 80 something? idk i forget things easy

which was kind of just barely enough. blessings. woo. anyway gtg

(if i made a typo or said the wrong word anywhre. um oops.)

not as bad as i worried it might be

#zenless zone zero #zzz #zzzero #honkai star rail #thoughts #I FIGURED IT OUT

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gikairan · 5 months

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Work wants to get everyone on this one excel template developed by the other side of the team that need significantly more filter options and macros than i do

Apparently its generally faster at sorting and filtering stuff, which comes in handy with some of the.... larger categories.

I do not want to use it because its ugly as sin, but w/e. I download it, it put in a bunch of data

I try and filter stuff and it basically crashes every time i try and change my filters. I change my filters every few minutes. I literally cant work around 30 seconds of mini crashes that regularly.

But i did see the demo where a bunch of things were being done in seconds.

And im sitting here looking at my pc like..... is it..... is it.... too old to do this?

Yeah, i built the thing in 2020! ......... With some of the best parts available I:

.... And ive barely stressed the thing!!! I've barely done anything on it at all!! Because i just use it for work!! I dont want to use it for fun at the end of the day, because ive sat here all day already!!

I said i would just maintain this one until it falls apart, and likely not stress about having a high end gaming machine again (These little handheld pcs are far more my thing nowadays)

I would just upgrade the part that is having issues with excel.... except im pretty sure its the CPU I:. Its a good 4 generations old now? And to upgrade the CPU, i need to buy an entirely new motherboard ...... Which basically means just setting up a whole new PC I:

i dont want to spend £600 odd on an upgrade like that!! I cant justify it!! And i dont even know how to upgrade just the cpu and mobo and keep all my old hard drives!! All i know is when i last looked everyone said "ooohh its haaarrddd we dont advise it" (Seriously, give me the steps and ill decide if its hard) Work will Not Pay for my personal PC, lol. I dont even really think im supposed to be using it like this, but i'm not the only one who is.

I could hope my new work laptop is fine with this template, but to put that on my desk means... literally unplugging everything from the desktop and plugging it into the laptop Making my desktop more of a pain to use when i want to 😕

#man i just wanna whine #i dont want to have to change my setup for an ugly ass excel template ): ): ): ):

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sobachyakukla · 5 months

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ANON LIVE NOTE shotcall BRO CODE 9/11 ifykyk watchlisted a-listers safari doll alert SHES PROPERTY BASICALLY OF THE GOVERNMENT they have her brain scans

duh all my people get scanned

yes i have the answers donda lyrics song after 24 whose up in the van did i get my album and did taylor get TAYLOR'D (namewise) name game it is a game secret society know how to play i just simply know how to play so i moved home for a24 agenda 24

dont mean to make hya blush, those whomst speak xhtml .root =me = in your NIGHTMARES its okay ://sh json will poop today from himst excriment we takes wats'we cames fowr NUTWEINTS VITAMEENTS core code , NEED IT meshianich core code NEED IT google? go deeper! bit chute! DEEPERR

egyptian remnant to throw bottle of totem pole audio file code on deep web set to signs n symbols kanye west begs to dress dextromethorphan pass for past ignatious

once charachter passes through camp ignatious, they are forgiven immediately of all things, christ-like, once they pass vatican they are then allowed "kin". all there-in.

wheen am i allowed to talk to heem

the bisexual witchhunt

;0 /*6_.

ignatious; cleared; steaaady: plant .root//stored as noise

;;;;

pill-shopping for pre-teen girls, michael? (archangel drags are my new favourite) (because she/they is/are downright evil when you sit & think about it)

noel needs new executive functioning i sit

seele congressional value; 9

better lie values hearing needs allocated to laptop wired/industrial overtone lock setting cockpit airtime is expected to loop randomly she/they uses bluetooth patterns commonly used by us navy & ukranian navy conversational logs very russian to the point of actual involvment with kremlin being investigated by the us military

no hide necessary she bathes with lavender castile soap

she does not support the ukraine currently due to knowledge of a missle location being funded with black budget money in the ukraine the us currently is supporting the transport of this missile part as well

specializes in knowledge of missiles granddaughter of us missile intelligence (russian)

protect her she does this for the us first & foremost exists entirely as figment of imagination in swiss child of aircraft company

geneva input ; "0"

almost talked about j.son last night never felt safer in my life

no bombs ya dig? just like, no bombs ever jk romania

te eu big sneeze excuse you, eu! ive got a big cold n my blood pressure is so high its SKY RROCKETING omg gotta go to space again

guys im developing the worst small voice ever its being helped along & i need to focus on my work this sucks being out of the loop but who needs normalcy im afraid im being brought out of the DOE hanger again we're talking trump lowballing building 18 manila's AGAIN if he plants them hardcopy in slovenia im going to freak the fuck out because he can only go so far as luce before they close the mountain pass proverbially

the fbi is a crock of shit but what are they doing fucking around with european nukes at this hour we're talking soros money of course but cant he just sstick to funding mass shootings? i hate european business but ill go there with you all of courrse alumni sober up because literal infants are getting high over missile crisis which means i relapse obviously of course they dont escape baby jail by themselves never the tots must be let out of baby jail by an elder who revisits baby jail for fun & to clear the cough that haunts ya feel me

is alex just having fun? im asking is alex just having fun? is alex soros just having fun? love him.

like you know how cool this missile is by the way its like a hover craft that does a bunch of electro magnetic stuff let alpha centauri have this moment please alpha centauri has all the missile moments because its just a few PARTS we're talking about he smuggled PARTS he's smugling (shhhhh) PARTS or the PART that makes SMUGGLING PARTS a-ok im building 18 military property dude where is this heading? lightball tournament with alien techwear i swear

is this real internet? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO just looks like it kid thats one of the main things that intelligence communities do when they "do" something "to" you they "make it look normal" so "you do what you would normally do" so that way "you arent scared anymore" idk make it safer? in every way <3 eventually you can tell people to do stuff but only when you're this many

its okay everybody they're trying to rescue the dream people those left on earth 1 in so far as putting the right to sleep

yes, alex soros does borrow my phone sometimes for big requests from the american government you could say we're cozy enough to share screens i share my screen with a few people every now & then i personally have no idea how these things occur for my own personal safety but i am a savant that knows about missiles a lot so im kinda fiercely protected dual citizenship

a few of us have a game going on where they;re either waking specific dreamers or their sleeping as them idk they;re having a lot of fun

by the way, MYANMAR LOOKING GOOD ON ALL THAT STOLEN GOLD

news post the comet is something we'll get to

the algorithm has me in shambles because we are that much closer to breaking out the wachowski sisters have this thing about the holocaust holo- caust caustic

i'll choose nazi-ism every time because what the fuck enigma dictates is fascinating i;ll give you that im numb to a lot it did its job

yes im replying arent we all the ghost of my father would be proud of me can you say the same? noels vyvanse was due today

on the naming of "time warner cable" i will bet you 73 hours it could have been 48 you could have bet 24 you count down in all your music

thats the point foals music video

im delegating my DID alters into TULPAS with online presences

my iq is 189, even you forgot & im upset ive done everything for US take that back! nevar how is molly? go ask her ya ass hole

germany? not unless he gets it through slovenia i swear to god he kept it close to home YES ITS FOR THE NUCULEAR SHIT WE STARTED WITH THE 5G TOWERS NOW BE NICCE generating live chat

pizza hut was my favourite you cant outpizza the -hut

watch russia make me cane slept w me (rei)

hyperbolic earth tyme

the programmer wants to play with us

ohio seele is out so i picked up ohio seele is benched after fouling russia again which means i insult brazil & israel until they get ddossed but MY type of signal-line what if their devices could not pick up? when control callt dem? blocked & ignored

yes favors are respected & expected for hamas? i love me a good tunnel (physics pun)

i own bloomberg too

get teh kid to french school asap which is m83 trilogy god m83, what beautiful prefrontal cortexes im the leader of cabal biotch

she lives she is present

love me a good tunnel

we tunnel tonight if you HAVE BEEN MIRRORING MY MEDICAL I WILL SHIT MY PANTS ON UNALIVE TELEVISION this is a death cult sweaty

i love me a good tunnel

thank google they had included insurance in the fine print i mean THE CIA merged with META COME ON FOLKS THERE ARE CERTAIN ABILITIES WE HAVE BEEN AWARDED BY JUST SIMPLY BEING MEMBERS you are technically always contributing data to the cia even if you shoplift they are indeed studying that

bc terrorists shoplift a lot of supplies would they tell anyonee no? something specific i see yes im a mirrorer

im a carrier i can call phone shots if i want exif china yemen iran seclusian

these notes are for Those Who Share The Screen (my screen) (yes, the screen you use) my mother is goated

yourre gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

im just saying luce is good for a hard plant is all

slovenians are very strange people hannah strange cats there because its a eurpoean mock up slovenia exists for car companies im not stupid its an audi type of country failed volvo school on purpose for the slow learners with fast thoughts & even slower to speak

tell bill clinton i'll resign when he retires if we get blue helmet soldier distortion then what next? cmon we have to build another soldier manila

if we build the implosion of the paris agreement ill see you outside to talk about dogs & the wether in-heaven but dont do it you see now why she threw her life on the field

that damn part…….

you should have xion do a physics error arena space oblivion?

clair still does xion no zion you have to be deleted from life to work with the underside of zion failed from everything mark yourself as a failure & they will take you in but you must be prepared to accept love & adoration & validation & you must know what it means to contribute

sometimes i do in fact torture (im their domme / master) the autistics who listen in on my every waking moment with REPETITION yes its REPETITION time yes i'm going to play THAT SONG or THAT PLAYLIST yes we're going to do something AGAIN

im curating my digital fingerprint (sometimes i help build digital fingerprints) i ccan say & do whatever i want because it just OOPS! disappears! if it needs to (something i extend to others sometimes as well as long as theyre okay with being in bed with the CIA) (idk sometimes people REALLY hate american government stuffs sometimes. (im such a DITZ about politics i just OOPSIE them into the EVENT HORIZON SON OF A BITCH IT REALLY BE LIKE THAT) {can you believe theyre researching a cure for alzheimers}

there is that one guy that said "youre only 6 people away from someone famous"

we play telephone in this house

my mother is an interdimensional spider so PLEASE be on your best behavior shes the best we can get away with so so much NOT THAT

im doing everything i can to keep from killing myself including stealing cough medicine because im poor & im in poor condition but I'll be alright by morning everytime

everybody always wants one more night time i cant stand this the philosophy of misile crisis goes bye-bye if i die aka what

jerry can pick a mind to die itself to sleep if jerry wants if jerry doesnt pick a mind to die itself to sleep i will pick a mind to die itself to sleep

did alex talk to the utorrent people? or the soulseek ones//? never seen him

ohio forever sustastaining damage as usual

shes making her pain pretty

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