#when i say top and bottom im not talking about bunk beds

[lucifer-the-fetus-eater]

heavy and medic but they do the rock paper scissors taunt to figure out whos on top and whos on bottom for the night

[jacobsbigmelons]

Now, hear me out, Jacob x Dylan? Terribly sorry if that’s not in your range of expertise/comfort, I just gotta get the question out as a shipper. If it suits you, though, maybe some fluff with Jacob in general would be cute? I know your “bro (passionately)” fic was hella good and I’m a total sucker for just cute fluffy stuff.

hey anon! i’m not the best when it comes to ships since im more of a x reader kinda guy but im a man of the people 🫣 so i’ll try !

Beating around the bush

Jacob Custos x Dylan Lenivy

cw: jacob and dylan fighting off the romantic tension to the point where the vine “oh my god they were roommates” plays perfectly here.

OH- and for the sake of my own sanity, emma and jacob aren’t a thing here because i have no clue how to write a smooth scene where they casually split or whatever smh.

oh and spoiler alert i’m making the roommates joke at the end of this lol

Faint crickets chirped in the distance as moonlight lit up the cabins as best as it could, Jacob and Dylan were in their bunk beds thought the sudden voice of Dylan and the response of Jacob clearly showed they were awake. “You up?” Dylan said as he was tapping his fingers on his chest to fidget a bit.

“Huh? oh uh well I was starting to drift off but not anymore” Jacob put it bluntly, he rolled onto his side so his ear is in the air so he can both lay down while hearing what Dylan had to say. “My bad, but like can you come down and give me company. Lonely on the bottom bunk” Jacobs eyebrows furrowed not because of annoyance but merely because of his tired state but for some reason he just couldn’t find it in himself to say no.

“Ow- fuck, uh gimme a sec” Jacob moved too quickly as his elbow met the wall, the slight pulses of pain were rather uncomfortable. The sound of sheets moving before he hopped off the top bunk made the cabin slightly creek. “Heh, sup dude” Jacob sat next to Dylan who was now sitting up himself, stretching a bit as to not tire himself out. “Long day today huh?” Dylan spoke. “Dude, so uncalled for by Mr.H to go on that long ass hike, i mean I personally enjoyed it until my legs started to get tired” Jacob whined as he spoke with his hands while talking, something Dylan enjoyed about him.

“Well you definitely got the build to enjoy stuff like that” Dylan said while pointing to the not at all handsome dude in front of him without a shirt on. Yet he did all that without presenting the pink tint on his cheeks now. “I guess you’re right, sight for sore eyes i’m sure” Jacob said. “Do you ever shut up when it comes to talking about yourself?” Dylan said making sure to make his tone sound not malicious at all but mere teasing.

“Well i’m not shutting up until you make me” Jacob has a slight smirk on his face, “I mean…I can think of a few ways” the silence only adding on to Jacobs thoughts, clearly they both had similar thoughts but didn’t wanna say anything, the silence spoke every word they couldn’t. “Uh…haha…I think i’m too tired to think about how you’d do that man” Jacob rubbed his eyes to add to the bit.

“Just putting my cards out on the table.” Dylan said, whether a joke or not Jacob added onto it “What, you looking to go at it on a table?” Dylan was thrown back by his reply as the two broke out into laughter, “Well I mean there’s always room on the table so we could always y’know…do more” Dylan finished off before Jacob turned against Dylan. “Eww, you’re gross dude!” He said giving Dylan a playful punch on the shoulder. “No see! I’m not gross, i’m just more vocal about my thoughts, you just keep this stuff tucked away! So the only reason i’m being accused of being ‘gross’ is for my consistency!”

The two laughed a bit longer before the room fell silence again, though with a bit more uncomfortable tension unlike before. “Just in case, if I ever joke around and I like cross a boundary or something…just tell me?” Dylan broke the quietness, “Nah you’re good man, but…when you do joke and shit…do you like, mean some of that stuff?” Dylan always made flirtatious jokes, a bit to Ryan when they first became friends, and most of the time they were directed to Jacob. But he never expected to be confronted with this kind of question. The urge to lie was there but he felt wrong lying to the person he feels deeply for.

“I mean…like I said. No jokes this time, my cards are on the table…so I mean, I guess. Yeah. I like you a lot, you’re a good friend and all that. So, if you ever…wanna give a guy named Dylan a call and ask him out or whatever, i’m here.” Silence yet again filled the air which only made Dylan want to double back on what he just said, he definitely didn’t expect to spill his guts to his crush. “But if you don’t I totally get that I mea-“ His words were cut off by the feeling of long awaited lips against his, he was shocked at what was currently going down, was Dylan even conscious?

They pulled away quickly as they just stared into one another’s eyes as they felt more drawn to each other in the moment, they simply reconnected lips once again, Dylan putting a hand on Jacobs waist and likewise. “Uh.” They awkwardly laughed in unison, almost like they both knew they weren’t expecting this. “Color me impressed, Im pretty speechless, not too often this happens” Dylan admitted. “Well, uh” Jacob scratched the back of his neck. “We don’t have to talk when we can like…show it.” Jacobs voice which was much more louder earlier now turned soft even kinda sweet was showing and it only made Dylan smile. “But guess what?” Jacob was trying not to laugh as he spoke his question.

“What…?” Dylan asked with concern laced in his voice along with a raised eyebrow. “oh my god they were roommates.” Dylan playfully smacked Jacobs chest as all he could do laugh while trying to protect his bare body. “You just killed such an intimate mood dude.” Dylan said now slightly annoyed but more or less happy overall as he saw Jacob filled with all this joy, it was contagious really.

“Worth it.” Jacob said while cackling as they attempted tried to sleep in the bottom bunk together, the crickets still chirping as the moonlight illuminated the two peaceful lovers.

[pearlydewydrops]

finally finished obit and i’m stunned!! this book + i remain in darkness (which i have not finished…) paired together is painful. i feel very tired out and like i need a shower to cleanse myself now (that may also be because ive been reading this book for like 4 hours couped up in my bed). victoria chang says something about ‘sadness is plural, but grief is singular’ and that is so very true because her depiction of grief in this book is so unique and these individual moments that grief hits expressed through the figurative deaths of various objects, metaphorical beings, concepts and people all culminate into a beautiful and fragmented journey of her grief over her mother’s death. the final obituary is the only literal death described in the book, apart from her mother’s, which was the Parkland high school shooting that happened on february 14th 2018 (as i searched it up), although, the event that occurred on that date isn’t specifically stated in the book for good reason. May they rest in peace and i thought that was a beautiful way to end the book. it all felt so natural - the repetitive format and how all these obituaries feel like an incredibly heavy-handed diary (like a designated grief journal?). the book ends with a final poem that doesn’t end in a metaphorical sense, it’s an endless poem of hope hope hope (‘see how the mouth stays open?’ she writes as the final line) dedicated to her children. i didn’t notice the connection between the poems and the obituaries in the book but i noticed that a lot (maybe all?) of the poems were of victoria chang talking about her children

also weirdly this part of the book rlly reminded me of the image of sitting at the top of the bunk bed of my grandparents (not new but new for me since it was my first time visiting it last year in december) apartment in singapore. i imagine these two scenes to be wildly different cause the writer isn’t even sitting on a bunk bed 😭 but idk the image of sitting at the top of the bunk bed looking down at the many many streetlights through the small open window that only i could see from (yes this did make me feel special compared to my sister, actually i don’t even remember if she had a window on the bottom bunk maybe she did but i don’t think so) at 4am because their (new but not new) apartment was sooooo hot and cramped im not even joking when i say that opening the window was the only thing saving me from passing out (i kinda rlly miss their old apartment but its ok :(( ) and the veryvery white light illuminating through the gap at the bottom of the door from the bathroom whenever my grandpa would take bathroom breaks while watching the football game (i think he goes for arsenal?) is all still so fresh in my mind yet already nostalgic-feeling. it might just be nostalgic because i was feeling sad at the moment and was romanticising looking out an apartment window while im the only one awake woooweee…. but i miss itttt (even tho i was sorta kinda shitting on my grandparent’s new apartment a second ago i still loved it so much i wanna go back for a visit eugh) none of this added to what i was talking about with the book i’m really just saying anything because i am no good at analysing and evaluating books and beautiful writing BUT i will say

i love any piece of art that depicts grief in a lyrical, quiet yet passionate way. i’m scared for the day i have to experience my own intense grief but something about the way its written when its written WELL is fascinating and strangely comforting in a way no other concept of a feeling is (moreso comforting when the person has a good support system). idk why but it is

…my parents are back home now from work and i have to take a shower and study so i’ll just leave these scrappy notes here i guess… ??

(also this whole book reminds me that i don’t think i’ve ever read an obituary in my life. i admittedly didn’t even know what it was until i searched it up 😭😭 maybe i’m too young 😭)