#when i will continue to obsess about xmen

[grabyoursaintsandpray]

Fallout

Season 1 Episode 4: The Ghouls

[p-perkeys]

I've been out of the loop with X-men comics for more than fifteen years, and actually I was in the loop for a year, maybe year and a half - I'm not from US, so they've been hard to come by. My love for mutants came mostly from cartoons.

BUT. Your fixation on Laura reminded me of my fixation on Laura from the times I discovered that she exists, so I thought you're the best person to ask this: If I wanted to read something recent and good about her, where should I start?

Actually, doesn't have to be recent, just good :D

Hiiii!!! First of all, thank you so much for this ask!! I'm so flattered that you consider me to be a good resource!! I am unhealthily obsessed with Laura haha I could talk about her for daayyyysss!!!!! It's always so fun to connect with other people with the same interests and passions!! <3 <3 <3 I love it!!

Laura's been in so much!! But here's my personal favorites, and they're all things that I feel like are important to her characterization as a whole :)

LOVED NYX (2003) - her intro into comics!! So much angst and trauma and allllll the insight into who she is!

Uncanny X-Men (I'm pretty sure 456 is the first appearance for her here!)

New X-Men (she's not there until the 20s!)was really important - a lot of big moments as she tries to navigate her first time at a semi normal life.

x-23 Target X - SOO important, we see more of her backstory and transition from the facility!

X-Force (2008) MORE TRAUMA AND ANGST. I hate what happens to her here but love the angst from a story telling perspective. You can really feel her slipping throughout this arc!

X-23 solo (2010) It is a beautiful story!! So many amazing things! and SO IMPORTANT to Laura's character development!! Love her and Remy here, love her becoming friends with Jubilee, and LOVE her reallymeeting Akihiro - the start of an amazing story of chosen family!

I like her in Avenger's Academy - to be honest I mostly skimmed. I do like the angst of the brief friendship she had with Finesse though! To me it offers another look at how Laura is growing as a person!

Avenger's Arena was okay - I personally didn't feel like there was a ton of development for her, but it's good if you like angst and it just shows another layer of her slipping through the cracks again. The same with circle of four! I think they're good to read to get into her headspace for when she's introduced in all new xmen.

All New Xmen... I didn't love until it was over. I didn't understand all the things going on, but it made sense after the fact. You do see Laura's first official romantic relationship, and she has quite a bit of development, some set backs, some leaps forward... over all good and I would recommend reading for her overall story!

Wolverines was really good!! It shows the transition of tolerating each other to deciding to be family for her and Akihiro! I personally am OBSESSED with this story and I've read it countless times!!

Her All New Wolverine solo was AMAZING!! Loved this!! There was just so much that happened for her! Gabby, Akihiro, Sarah, Kimura... you get a dose of EVERYTHING and I think it ties the loose strings nicely!!

XMen (2019) isn't a favorite of mine but I do think it's important to read just because a lot happens for her here! It continues into the reboot in 2021 with an older version of her that comes back after she's presumed dead from a mission!

XTerminators is a resounding YESSS!!! Super fun, super cute! She's a little more relaxed and we get to see her reconnect with Jubilee!!

X23 Deadly Regensis was a nice bridge between her leaving the XMen and leaving with Remy in her early days. We get to see more of Kimura and more of what Laura went through!

X-Force (2019) was alright - it was a set up for her current appearance in Sabertooth War, which is also kinda meh lol but it's where she is now!

There are a lot of other things she's been in but I feel like it can get REALLY overwhelming, so these are just, in my opinion, most of her major stories that really showcase who she is :)

As a bonus - I loved her in Trial of Magneto and Deaths of Wolverine strictly for her interactions with her siblings. And there have been a lot of little crossovers between major events too where she just has shown up everywhere haha but I hope I answered your question!!

Please feel free to ask me anything else - I LOVE interactions like this!!!

[make-me-imagine]

Would I be able to get an xmen and deadpool ship pls?👀👀 w/ prompts #6 & 11? Im female & bi. I have long green hair and shave the side of my head. Im 5'6, small frame, hazel eyes, tattoos and piercings. I'm trashy and weird and I love to joke around and make my friends laugh. I get very moody and super emo sometimes but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I like to practice fire eating, I draw and I love birds. I'm basically obsessed with my parrot. I'm also into anything spooky or paranormal. Confident yet insecure 😹

Ships are now Closed

-

Sorry this took so long, I hope you like them! :) Also, that’s so awesome that you do fire eating 😲😲😲

X-Men:

I ship you with Victor Creed a.k.a Sabretooth. In my own headcanon world, after Wolverine Origins, Victor became a “good-guy”. So in this world, I think you would go really well with him. I think it would be a hate > friends > lovers situation. He would be moody and a jerk to everyone but you. He would be sarcastic a lot with you and would tease you relentlessly, but anytime he might go to far and accidentally hurt your feelings he would hate himself. You are the only one who sees the more loving side of him, and though he isn’t a super cuddly, romantic or sweet boyfriend, he has his ways of showing how much he cares for you. Also, in this world I see you as having some sort of fire related mutation, hence the fire eating, and I think that he would love it. 

Prompt 11: Jealous

Honestly, sometimes you weren’t even sure if Victor liked you at all. You used to hate each other, but in some weird turn of event you became friends, and then even more. But sometimes you forgot about the “more” part. I mean, he wasn’t exactly the most loving boyfriend, if you could even call him that. But by God, you really really liked him, maybe even loved him, but the constant doubt of whether of not he actually cared about you drove you crazy. 

Until one day, when you finally found out just how much he cared. 

You sat on the broken down brick wall as you handed Logan tool after tool as he worked on his new bike. He occasionally explained to you what he was doing as you listened curiously. After making a joke you laughed audibly as you watched him struggle with the bike. 

Victor strolled down the corridor, bored as he looked for something to do. The echoing sound of your familiar laugh made him pause in his steps as he listened to where it had come from. 

As he rounded a corner, and his eyes landed on your familiar figure, smile on your face. He found a small smile appearing in his own. The smile quickly faded when he saw what, or rather who, you were laughing with. 

Seeing his brother smile at you, taking a wrench from your hand, A mixture of annoyance and jealously rippled through his body as he glared at his younger brother. 

As you watched Logan replace a piece of the bike you jumped when you heard a voice speak from right behind you “Looks like you two are having fun”

You turned to look at him calming your heart down, you saw the hint of annoyance on his face, you wondered if something had happened.

“If you call getting covered in grease fun, then yeah, I’m havin’ a hell of a time” Logan muttered from the ground where he laid.

You smiled at the comment, Victor noticing this grew slightly more annoyed “Well if you don’t mind little brother I’m taking your assistant” Victor spoke with obvious venom in his voice as he took your wrist in his hand and pulled you up.

“Wha- Where are we going?” you asked as you struggled to keep up with his long strides. Not seeing the smirk on Logans face as his brother dragged you away from him.

“Somewhere else, I’m bored as hell here” 

You saw the annoyance on his face had grown. It clicked in your brain that it wasn’t just annoyance, but jealousy. The realization that he was jealous because you were with his brother made a smirk spread across your face. 

“Ya’ know, if you wanted me to stop hanging out with Logan you could have just asked, rather than pulling me away” 

He would hear the smirk in your voice, and he knew that he was being to obvious with his feelings “Shut up” he muttered as he continued to pull you along, ignoring the widened smirk on your face as his hand moved from gripping your wrist to your hand.

Deadpool:

I ship you with Domino. I think you and Domino would look SO GOOD together, like seriously. You would be a great pair and team and anyone that sees the two of you is like “woah”. She loves you sense of humor and the two of you make each other laugh all the time. Anytime you get really moody and fall into your emo phase, she knows exactly what to do to help you get out of your funk. She is very caring towards you and loves being around you. She also LOVES your whole look, and honestly the firs time she saw you she was like 😲 😏 😍

Prompt 6: First ‘I love you’ 

As you practiced your fire breathing in the back yard, you were unaware of Neena watching you from the patio, sitting with her head in her hands, a fond smile stretched across her face. 

Turning to pick up more fuel, your eye caught on her figure, glancing up you see her staring at you, she smiles and waves lightly at you. 

You returned her smile as you forgot the fuel and walking over to her “How long have you been there?” you asked with an amused smile on your face. 

“A while” she replied simply, still smiling at you “I like watching you practice”

“Do you want to try? With your luck you’d probably be good at it” 

She smiled “Nah, it’s your thing, I just wanna watch, and I think my luck brushes off on you when I’m watching”

“Me too” you agreed, your mind flashing back to a moment when there was an accident, caused by Wade of course, that normally would have ended with you being being burnt, but instead ended with Wade running away with his ass on fire and Domino yelling at him for being stupid and almost getting your hurt. 

“It’s like I’m your good luck charm” she mused as you sat next to her. Turning to look at you she smiled “Maybe it’s my love, forming a protective love barrier around you” she hypothesized as she reached over and gently moved a stray piece of hair back behind your ear.

“Your love?” you asked smiling at her

“Mmhmm” she nodded her head as she smiled at you

“Then I guess you should never leave me side” you joked, but also spoke with a hint of seriousness.

“I got not plans on it” she said as she leaned back, you copying her moves and leaning into her.

“Good” you joked, a moment of silence passed before you spoke again “I love you to by the way” you muttered, knowing that even though she didn’t say ‘I love you’ that;s exactly what she meant.

She leaned her head down onto your shoulder, seeing her smile from the corner of your eye “Good”. 

[zenosanalytic]

HoXPoX #1-3: The Sun: Illuminating Menace

It’s yet another installment of me obsessing unnecessarily about the imagery in the first few books in the new House of X/Powers of X series, this time: Colors! The Sun! T H E  S U N!!

The Sun

The Sun and its colors often seeming to represent safety and power, and unsurprisingly it plays into other thematic elements, notably cycles.

HoX1 follows the course of the sun; both through a year, and through a day. Before the story proper we see a montage of the XMen planting strange purple flowers in specific places; on earth, earth again, the Moon, and on Mars. These images are broken up 4 panels to a page across 2 pages. On the first page panel 1 start with lush greenery, followed by color-changing leaves in panel 2, then bare white ground and nighttish skies in panel 3, and ending with red skies over bare ground with a lush green foreground in panel 4. Summer(Green), Autumn(Gold&Brown), Winter(White), and Spring(bare earth plus greenery).

The same pattern of vegetation and earth repeats on the second page(lushness, autumnal colors, bare earth, bare earth&new growth), continuing the seasonal symbolism, but adds to it the sun’s position: if the first panel it is off-panel to the left casting long shadows in a lushly forested environment(The Savage Land); the 2nd setting or rising behind a thin cloud over the Potomac in DC, bathing the scene in reds and oranges and purples(very vaporwave. I will show you),

the 3rd unseen off-panel, it may be over the shoulder or a night scene with an artificial light, while flowers being planted right-of-center in the bare earth by two pairs of purple-gloved hands are spotlit; the 4th rising on the left again, mostly blocked by a barren cityscape, as vines grow up the side of a nondescript office-building. This 4th panel then opens, on the next page set two weeks later, into one of the plotlines of the book; a collection of ambassadors meeting Magneto to discuss Krakoa(the new island-mutant nation) at the Krakoa embassy in Jerusalem.

This plot takes place over the course of a day: it begins with the sun at the same position, rising on the left, continues through a lush marshland scene to a sun-colored orange or gold Krakoa transit-hub, and ends with it setting behind Magneto, framing his message of a new mutant dawn(and non-mutant dusk). In the middle we cut to another plotline, Jean escorting a group of Xavier’s students to Krakoa, with the sun high in the sky and middle-panel.

Its Power

The colors of the Noon-Sun -gold, yellow, orange, and yellow-white- crop-up in scenes of power and safety: the chrysalis-pods of the first two pages and their womb/birth imagery, the pupils of Krakoa’s central interface, the clothing the XMen wear, Lighting-eggs Krakoa provides, and far-flung Krakoan habitats. Jean Grey is consistently backgrounded with orange while on Krakoa, and Scott Summers by yellow when in Chicago(I THINK it’s Chicago judging by the architecture and city-layout, at least) negotiating with the Fantastic Four. In the dusk denouement of the embassy scene, when one of the Stepford Cuckoos(acting as Magneto’s diplomatic staff) reveals they have been reading the minds of the ambassadors, the background is a shining, golden yellow, as it remains when Magneto disarms a hostile, armed agent within the ambassadorial party, despite the dusky sun overlooking these scenes, revealed on the final pages.

In PoX 1, pale yellow-gold light bathes the Krakoa sanctuary as Mystique and Toad arrive back on the island from a secondary portal. The doorframe of and furniture-accents within Magneto’s home are in gold. Golden light cuts in from its windows, gilding the ground floor. Xavier, their leader and figure of authority, stands framed by a yellow-gold screen, drawn from below so that he towers within his frames. All but one of the mutants within the Year 100 section(The Cardinal) are dressed in yellows and, as the human-purists arrive on the scene of Cylobel’s capture, they are wreathed in a golden mist. The same mist backgrounds a frame of her telepathically warning Rasputin off from attempting a rescue, and a same-colored light shines reflected from Rasputin’s face as she determines to make the attempt anyway. Her explosive decimation of the lead sentinel is a wreath of fiery reds and golds, with a splash of deathly purple. The pattern repeats; with gold-yellows coloring laser-blasts, intimations of danger, and feats of enormous, violent strength. The imprisoning sphere in which Cylobel is ultimately carried away is a gold one, as the scenes of Rasputin rushing to save her, cutting down purists left-and-right, are filled with the gold-yellow mist. Finally, Nimrod the Lesser’s throne is accented in gold. In the Year 1000 line, the human-preserve sphere is yellow-gold.

In HoX 2, soft gold-yellow light bathes Moira’s sick-room at 13, when her powers first manifested. The next frame, her revitalized and healthy in youth, shows her running through a softer white light, happy, pursued by a faded adult figure dressed in a pale yellow-gold top. The final frame of the next page, the frame labeling her “ ...something new...” and a mutant, has a beige(light-brown gold?) background, and a yellow triangle-block shares the frame with toddler-Moira’s face of stoic disinterest and/or despair. In her eight life, Magneto’s throne is flanked by golden flame, and topped by a giant, golden squid. In the life where she allies with Apocalypse, they are surrounded in Red-Gold light and flame.

As should be apparent from the above, it does NOT only represent power and safety for mutants. Recall the Jean Grey subplot cutting the embassy story in half: that ends in a grove with Jean and Xavier looking on as Wolverine plays with three children in the grass. Behind Jean is the Orange of the sun as stated above(and possibly the Phoenix Force? Given that the Phoenix-Force manifests AS solar power&imagery it’s a connection impossible to avoid regardless of intent), and behind Xavier a beautiful, pale purple vista of the sun, midday and midpanel(though in the colors of dusk; foreshadowing perhaps?), filtering through the dense trees. This is a moment of happiness, love, and safety for the gathered mutants. But it cuts, in the page directly after, directly TO the sun, a jump-cut from close-up on a face to close-up or establishing shot of a ship, as a group of anti-mutant humans gathered from Marvel’s host of secret organizations approaches a space station in orbit near our star. The station is a Mother Mold: a self-directing, self-correcting, learning sentinel-factory. A knife at the throat of every mutant alive, yes, but also a final stronghold --a place of safety and power-- for these anti-mutant, human-purity fanatics and their AI allies. So the Sun comes to represent safety and power both for the heroes of this story AND for their enemies; again, the symbolism of HoX PoX is breaking down simplistic oppositional binaries.

Moving into the other books, we see Moira repeatedly associated with the color gold. In the fair ministory where PoX 1 opens and HoX 2 ends she is wearing large, gold, circular earrings(obvsl recalling the sun itself). In the final scene of this ministory, a series of exchanged closeups btw Moira and Xavier, gold/yellow is color behind Moira’s head as she speak with, and offers, the knowledge of her repeating life. Her lips in these panels are painted in a reflective bronze; not a direct reference to the sun to be sure, but a reflection of its light.

This could just be another connecting of the sun and its colors to power -what Moira is saying is an artifact of her mutant ability afterall- but, in that she’s sharing knowledge, it could also suggest that the Sun and Gold/Yellow can represent knowledge, as well. If that were the case, it would be another classical reference, with Apollo being both a Knowledge-God AND a Sun-God. And there’s some other evidence supporting that reading.

Its Light

In HoX 1, when we see Krakoa’s IT-information team, Cypher and Sage, in Krakoa’s “interface room”, they are dressed in yellow, Krakoa’s interface is a wall of yellow-god eyes, and a pale yellow-gold light source sits in the corner. When Scott confronts the F4 in the same book his comments, all referencing “knowing” in some capacity(“What would life be without little surprises?”, “you’re a smart man, Richards... I know you know...”, “It’s upsetting, I know, but new beginnings demand a wide berth”), are all backed in yellow-gold, as is Reed’s final response to him(“then I think I have a problem with that”), and Sue’s later comment after the potential conflict is resolved(“...what are all of you thinking?”).

In HoX 2, 4th-Wall Moira wears her sun-earrings and, in the first panel where we see her speaking directly to the audience about her abilities, a golden cloud halos her head. A soft, gold-yellow light infuses all the scenes of her at Oxford. The mask of Destiny, Mystique’s partner and lover, is gold, and her power is precognition.

In PoX 1 the usb Mystique gives to Xavier is accented in gold and the screen behind Xavier is that of a computer; an information-device of some kind. As Xavier places the usb in it, golden light bathes him from below, from the machine(though Xavier’s dialogue her is abt “making a better world” and what mutants “owe” to it; a stereotypical power dialogue). As Nimrod the Lesser and his court obliquely(and comically) discuss placing Cylobel in the mutant archive, their dialogue is framed in gold.

Ok so, those are my arguments. I could probably add to it but this is already YUUGE, so I figure I’ll stop here. There’s also some interesting stuff going on with other colors, notably purple, I’d like to get into later, but we’ll see as I move on with the series(which I havent had time to yet what with Wintereenmas and everything X|) If you read this, I hope you liked it ^u^

[undertheinfluencerd]

https://ift.tt/2WXiicO #

Warning: SPOILERS for Afterlife of the Party.

Here’s a full guide to Netflix’s Afterlife of the Party soundtrack, which delivers a short list of poppy, upbeat party songs by American pop and R&B singer Spencer Sutherland and one score track by composer Jessica Rose Weiss. Starring actress Victoria Justice of Nickelodeon fame (VICTORiOUS) as Cassie, a fun-loving, albeit irresponsible social butterfly, Afterlife of the Party follows Cassie into a purgatory-like afterlife after a freak accident kills her, where she’s offered the opportunity to right all her unresolved wrongs on Earth, thus earning passage to the “Above” (heaven) or, if she fails, to the “Below” (hell).

Matching the Afterlife of the Party‘s comedic “death-but-fun“ premise is a 5-track EP soundtrack that errs more on the side of fun than death. Put another way, while Cassie is stuck in the In-Between, a limbo state between heaven and hell, the album has both feet firmly planted in heaven. In fact, the album is exclusively upbeat and danceable, featuring four original songs performed by Sutherland, who stars in the movie as the famous fictional singer Koop whom Cassie idolizes; one of which includes a duet with Sutherland and Justice. Though Cassie’s fangirl obsession with Koop is repeatedly made obvious throughout the film, what’s understated about their budding connection is how, despite the chasm separating life and death, their separate journeys seem to have always pointed towards each other, with a charming twist ending that sees the two entering a “pearly gates” of sorts hand-in-hand.

Related: The Kissing Booth 3 Soundtrack Guide: Every Song

For his feature film debut, Sutherland’s character has more of ambient presence in the movie, whereas the real-life pop singer Sutherland plays a more central role to the Afterlife of the Party soundtrack. Pop music fans may know Sutherland as a contestant on the UK version of The X-Factor in 2017, performing Marvin Gaye’s sultry “Let’s Get It On” for his audition and James Arthur’s “Say You Won’t Let Go” in a group performance. Sutherland has also released multiple singles starting with “Heartstrings” in 2013 up to “Freaking Out” in 2019, before landing both an acting and singing role in Afterlife of the Party.

At the helm of the Afterlife of the Party soundtrack, Sutherland is the movie’s musical heart and soul. On the topic of entering the movie industry through the channel of music, Sutherland expressed in an exclusive interview with Alexisjoyvipaccess his eagerness to take on more acting roles: “I’ve found such a passion in acting now from this, and I would love to do a lot more in acting, but also a lot more in musical acting, because it was very cool to tie the two together. It was amazing.“

Whether or not that means we’ll see Sutherland in more musical acting roles in the future remains to be seen. Nonetheless, his performance in Afterlife of the Party is key to the “party” aspect of the story, and it seems likely that Netflix will continue along this pop musical trajectory with its future titles. With that in mind, here is a breakdown of each song on the movie’s soundtrack, as well as an additional song heard in the movie.

“Blush” by Spencer Sutherland – Played multiple times throughout the story, Sutherland’s “Blush” (or, rather, Koop’s “Blush” from the character’s perspective) is arguably the main theme song of the movie. Introduced by a radio DJ voiceover as “the number one song of the day” at the movie’s opening when Cassie is considering various outfits in front of her mirror, “Blush” is soon after described by Cassie and her best friend Lisa (Midori Francis) as “their song” when it’s heard playing at a dance club. This is significant when later, after Cassie dies, Cassie fulfills her role as Lisa’s spectral wing-woman  by trespassing into Max’s (Timothy Renouf) apartment, Lisa’s hunky neighbor, to sabotage his record-player into accidentally playing “Blush” during a chance encounter between Max and Lisa, who is wearing a “KOOP” shirt at the time. Max takes advantage of this “coincidence” to ask Lisa on a date to see the music video set of a Koop song.

“Drive” by Spencer Sutherland – While hanging out in Lisa’s apartment, Lisa initiates an “impromptu dance party” with her deceased friend Cassie after commanding Google to “play ‘Drive’ by Koop.” It’s revealed during this exchange that Lisa introduced Cassie to Koop’s “greatness,” further suggesting of the importance of Koop’s music to their bond.

Related: Every Song In Cinderella 2021

“One Look” by Spencer Sutherland – The music video Max refers to when asking Lisa on a date, Sutherland performs “One Look” in the flesh (as Koop) while standing in front of a blue convertible with a surrounding team of backup dancers. Taking advantage of her ghostly transparency, Cassie transports herself onto the music video set, much to the awe of Lisa, and she starts dancing in front of Koop, who seems vaguely and nonchalantly aware of her presence. During the song, Cassie approaches Koop for a kiss before she’s abruptly snapped back to the In-Between headquarters, where she’s chastised by her quirky guardian angel Val (Robyn Scott) for neglecting her purgatorial responsibilities.

“Home” by Spencer Sutherland & Victoria Justice – Breaking up the Sutherland monopoly on the Afterlife of the Party soundtrack is a duet track with both Sutherland and Justice, heard during the story’s end after a recently deceased Koop and Cassie meet in an elevator ascending to the Above (heaven). As the two walk hand-in-hand towards Above’s idyllic, flowery mountain range, the song starts as the end credits roll, signifying that Cassie and Koop are finally “home.”

“Score Suite” by Jessica Rose Weiss – The one non-Sutherland song on the movie’s soundtrack, “Score Suite” is the only listed track on the list attributed to the composer of the film. While somewhat more somber in parts, at least in relation to Sutherland’s dance tracks, “Score Suite” is predominated by a majestically whimsical tone familiar to many rom-com scores.

“I Only Have Eyes For You” by The Flamingos – Not listed on the official Afterlife of the Party soundtrack, “I Only Have Eyes For You” by The Flamingos plays from the record-player in Max’s apartment, presumably as intended by Max this time, to set a romantic mood for him and Lisa, as they cheers to “regret” over wine, confess their feelings for one another, and kiss.

Next: F9 Soundtrack Guide: Every Song Explained

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[lola-darlin]

The 5 Ws and Sometimes How 1/8+9

1/8 I tighten the string of my tea bag around the handle of my mug The way a sailor pulls the ropes to tighten his hold on the wind In an effort, our actions, hopefully determine the direction of our day. Hold a shell to you ear, what do you hear? Some say it's the ocean and others say its the blood in your veins. I ask you, is there a difference? Do both not pulse with rhythm, both carrying and sustaining life? Do both not reek with the lives of the ancesters? Do both not raise and cry out to the moon? Ascension is going to take equal parts inner and outer development. "Not LONELY, but by yourself" Drunvalo speaks on 144th dimension and traveling to 145th, with there being a void in between. 9 vs 1. The way he described the void was that no physical matter can pass through it... now you know my obsession with black holes. Hell, I'm even writing a story with one. We just went from a 9 yr to a 1 yr. Now while I don't feel that a black hole will suddenly appear and consume us, I do feel that the awakening is happening for a reason (duh). Just can't wait to see the cause or, rather, the affect. 1/9 Watching the OA, the Guardian takes her sight bc the future is too painful to see. Made me momentarily wish the universe had taken something from me to make this more bareable. Here I am facing rejection again, but forreal this time. My mother found out I am a part of a new-age metaphysical and magic group on fb. She is a Christian Pastor. Very similar to being in the closet. Thought about how I smelled the candle when the OA blew it out, like REALLY snelled it, not kind of. How if it isn't real? But who says it isn't? It was when they filmed it and it has just been transferred through air waves for me to experience it. Air waves. Washing a pot scraped it with a fork and it made my teeth hurt. I pondered if it was because it was too high of a frequency whether or not it nakes noise it still makes my teeth hurt (ie when my very own nails scrape) kind of like the feeling I get when I am choosing my tarot cards and am directed which to pick. Just absolved both my mother and myself of guilt. Flashed back to myself yelling 'IT'S YOUR FAULT-- ALL of this' at her, blaming her for whichever part of my life I was referencing. Upon reaching here, I had already let some go bc I felt she knew not what she did/knows not what she does. The second part is connect to MN where he says how can you be angry with the religion that spreads hate and slaughters its way around. You should sympathize. Because they are not conscious. They are in fact UNconscious in the grand scheme of things and blaming them for their actions is like blaming a sleeping person for kicking you. They know not. You only see because you are open. Instead see the grandeur of the Uni in it being able to call to you through it all and have both the good AND the bad serve your soul's purpose. Saw something out of the corner of my eye, asked it to reveal itself. The ceiling looked close and as I let my eyes relax, it changed a bit. I reheard DM saying 'its all an image. Yes you can see it but its not really there'. Then recalled that everything is just light reflected and that light is energy. Manipulateable**. Like when heat causes you to see waves in what your eyes perceive. Solid things are just composed of tighter packed molecules, to change that is to change what it is. This is very elemental to the concept of thise who supercede "natural laws". Like Rogue on XMen. I MIGHT be trippin. Om gitti saaru kame Said it twice out loud after it randomly entered my mind and thought 'my mother is really going to kick me out of here'. But it won't really matter. Only the Universe does. I'd find a way to continue just as Uni always provides one.