#when im 45 someone calls me their wife and he

[channelrat]

its 3am and i just wanna write which probably isnt smart but

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

Oh what about a cheating smut fic where tony is married to pepper and he starts to have a sexual affair towards his daughter morgan's hot babysitter, reader

Babygirl

Friday, 4pm

I check the time on my dainty Cartier watch, walkin in circles around my squad as I zero in on every move, every flip, and every damn high kick. They're phenomal as ever, still I need to make sure we're on point for the next game. Squatting low, I assess how one of my girls back up and shows that flexibility by bending backwards with palms outstretched to the ground. She ends the number with a smooth sensual backflip into the splits, ofcourse poppin each ass cheek individually. I cheer and ofcourse give my girl, along with the crew, a standin ovation.

"Excellent muthafukin job per usual, owwwww!" I mimick my bitch Cardi and I clap for my amazing team.

My cell rings from the bleachers a few feet away. Im tired, plus that might be Mr. Stark and I know better than to ignore; it's definitely time to call it a day.

"Listen up my beautiful people, we done for the day. But, side note, please don't forget to team up with your cheer buddy as many times as needed before the game to make sure each of you got the routine down pact. If you have any questions, hit my line. Aight y'all."

A few hugs goodbye and smacks to my rear, I'm able to grab my phone and check my missed calls. Fuck.. The butterflies in my tummy are instantaneous as I read 'Tony Stark' across my screen. No matter how many times he calls it never fails to make me wanna squeal and do a few back flips of my own.

I hit the send button and redial him as I chew on my bottom lip nervously. It only does half a ring before his sexy voice speaks through the phone.

"Hey, there's my other favorite girl. Where are you? You busy?"

It's just like Tony to be all in my business, even though he was my employer, not father. There wasn't a thing he didn't know about me after being Morgan's babysitter for over 3 years now.

"Why no, Daddy, I'm not busy." I tease him with a giggle. "I'm at uni right now. Just finished practice. Why, wassup?"

The silence lastin just a second too long before he clears his throat and answers.

"You uh.. Just finished cheer practice?" He repeats slowly.

"Yeah, literally just a second ago. Gonna change and head home. Why, you need me?" I ask concerned.

"I do honey, need you to come watch Morgan for the weekend. Peppers outta town for business and I'll be here but not here. You available for me pretty girl?"

The way he speaks to makes my heart wanna dive out my damn chest, especially when his wife's not around. His already pampering nature amplifies he and doesn't seem to able to resist calling me those sweet lil nicknames that make me weak in the knees.

"Yes Mr. Stark. Always, anything for you." I breathe back, thighs clenching at the way the tone of his voice is starting to get me aroused.

"Perfect. And call me Tony, you know better honey." He gently scolds. "Anyway, I'm sending a car to come get you immediately."

I hear him snap his fingers over the phone and assume that's his way of sending me a ride.

"But I'll need to go home and grab a some things to stay for a few days." I remind him.

"No. I want you here as soon as possible. I already have someone on their way to you." His response leaves no room for argument, so I don't even bother.

"Ok then, catch you inna minute. And tell Morgan I can wait to see her."

"You got it babygirl. See you soon."

I hang up, grabbing my Nike backpack and head to the pick up area in front of the school. Fuck, another weekend with Tony Stark. Let's see how long it takes before I drench my panties when I get in his presence this time.

45 mins later

I arrive to Tony's mansion relieved to finally get to see my 2 favorite people in the world. They're waiting for me at the front door with big smiles, Tony holding Morgan on his back. She lightly kicks outwards to get free from her father. He happily sets her down and she runs up to me excitedly wearing the cutest ladybug bathing suit. Wrapping her tiny arms around my waist, she hugs me affectionately. I bend and hug her back just as tight and tell her how happy I am to see her.

"Daddy says your staying all weekend, is that true?" She inquires, nose scrunched making her the spitting image of her father.

"Yes, I am. Us girls are gonna have a blast. I was thinking tomorrow I could paint your nails and then maybe you could paint mine? I'd love your help picking out a cute color, what do ya think?"

"Let's just go get a manicure." She rebuttals smartly, taking my hand and dragging me to the front door. I barely have a second to grab my backpack!

"Or there's that." I laugh and wave goodbye to Tony's driver as Morgan pulls me past her father to the pool.

"Guess Daddy will catch you guys later." Tony chuckles, watching us amused.

"Guess so Daddy." I don't get a chance to catch the way his nostrils flare a bit or how he licks his lips at my statement as he watches his daughter steer me away.

Her and I have a blast in the pool for a couple hours, Morgan even more so as I sit on the edge with just my feet in. She shows me how well she's gotten a swimming since the last time we saw each other. It's beyond obvious her practice is paying off; my best lil buds gonna be ready for competitions in no time.

After, Tony brings us hot cheesy pizza for dinner as she grabs his laptop and shows me how to do the newest tik tok dance challenges that she and her friends like the most. We lay by the pool eat and laugh together as all the goofy and cool new trends come up. It just surprises me that a young girl can navigate the platform so efficiently. The smartie pants even makes me an account so I can keep up with what she's up to.

"Alright, little girl. Its 7:30, time to go to sleep. We'll do a bath in the morning. Go brush your teeth and get into your pjs. Daddy and I'll be by to say goodnight when your done."

The good girl that Morgan is, she kisses my cheek and skips off into the house. I quickly clean up our mess and head off to search for Tony.

When I find him it's 7:45 and he's laid out on the couch in one of his dens, arm thrown tiredly over his face. I think he's asleep from his even breaths, the calm rise and fall of his athletic bare chest. Fuck he makes my mouth water the way he lays with his legs spread wide, wearing only a pair of soft cotton light grey sweats low on his hips. His toned tummy and the thin line of his happy trail entice me to come closer for a better look and I'm right behind him in an instant. Goddam the bulge of his cock looks girthy as fuck.

I reach out and lightly massage at his shoulders, bending for just a moment to whisper at his ear.

"Its time for Daddy to go say goodnight."

Tony removes his arm and gazes up at me tiredly. The short low groan helps activate the already swirling storm in my gut. There's no way my panties aren't wet.

"Ok, honey. Let's go." Sitting up a few inches before pausing as Jarvis begins to speak.

"Actually Mr. Stark, Morgan has been asleep for 3 minutes 26 seconds. I predict she will not be awake for another 10 and a half hours sir."

"Thanks." Daddy relaxes into my touch again before speaking again.

"Hey Jarvis?"

"Yes, Mr. Stark?"

"Take a walk."

"Yes sir."

There's a quiet beep signaling the AI's exit as I continue to massage Tony's strong shoulders.

"Come here, beautiful. Come sit on Daddy's lap, let's talk." He requests gently.

I know we've been crossing some kinda boundary the way we speak to one another, but if I do as he asks this'll be a clear violation in his marriage. I don't wanna cause harm to Tony in any way, in fact I ache to make him happy however I can. That desire in itself is probably what has me toeing of my shoes and plopping my round ass cheeks right on his dick before I have another thought.

He's half hard and I'm baffled how I didn't notice because he's already so thick. The first press of my pussy against it has me biting my lip and pushin again and again to mimic the pressure on my clit. My breath puffs out as I hold back a moan at the feeling. Christ, I'm throbbing in need and I've sittin in his lap for a total of 5 seconds.

"Did my 2 favorite girls have fun?" Tony asks seemingly unaffected..

Except when i squint it seems his breath accelerates just a bit through his slightly open mouth, warm strong chest rising and falling just a fraction faster. His palms slide underneath my skirt to the top of my thighs, tenderly rubbing in a circular motion as I lightly hump at his cock.

"So much fun, Daddy. I'm kinda tired though, long day. Obviously not long as yours. You look exhausted. You ok?"

He only tilts his head and offers a small shrug.

"I kinda feel better now that I get to see my little cheer captain in her sexy uniform." Tony leers up at me with a smirk before winkin, making me bust out in laughter.

"So how's classes sweetheart? You doin okay?"

"I am, first semester was a bit difficult but I got the ropes now. I'm a fuckin superstar." I brag with a smile.

"That's great honey, glad to hear it." He replies warmly, rotating his hips in circles against me.

"Still don't ever forget that I gotta blank check with your name on it. Matter fact, you're not leavin here this weekend without it. Got it?" He asks sternly, lookin directly into my soul.

"Yes Daddy." I answer without a second thought.

"Good girl." He praises, moaning low in his throat at my swift movements.

"Well.." I lean forward till our lips are almost touching and look deep into his pretty eyes. "What can I do to make Daddy feel better?"

Tony breaks first. He roughly presses his lips to mine, sucking and kissing as he holds me in place with one hand on the back of head. The other hand grips my thigh firmly as he dominates our kiss passionately. His fine ass licks into my mouth while groaning, sucking on the tip of my tongue as I moan loud and frantically crush our pelvis' together. He gives me one nip to my lips before speaking against them.

"Make Daddy cum, sweetheart."

"How?" I ask nervously, pulling back to look into his hazy eyes.

"Any way you want gorgeous."

My hips come to a halt as I think for a moment before sliding off his lap to my knees and greedily soakin in the growl he emits when he notices the wet spot I left on his crotch.

Pulling my medium sized perky tits through the designed slit at the bottom of my cheer top, showing him stiff pierced nipples. A small slim chain hangs between my breasts, connecting the 2 piercings. I shake my titties at him, smiling at his hypnotized glazed stare at my supple chest.

"Fuck my tits." I demand, slightly dipping my head forward to let a generous glob of spit splat between them.

There's no need to ask twice as Tony hastily snatches his dick from his sweats and slides it between my round brown orbs. He relaxes back into the deep navy blue sectional while I press my breasts together to surround his thick shaft and begin with slow strokes. Biting those delicious lips, his head dips further into the couch as he watches me through slits. Daddy looks so fucking good as he fights the pleasure enveloping his dick.

"Hoooooh, fu- AH! Jesus y/n, feels so good. Thank you, pretty girl. Ohfuck! Just what I needed. Mmmm.. Yeah, yeah just like thaaat.."

His arms hang limp at his sides as he lets me unravel him. Poor baby, his eyes don't know where to look, darting from my dark nipples to his big fat dick stabbing up through the swell of my breasts. I take a mental picture of the way he loses his mind in my body, hips coming up erratically to meet my downward thrusts.

"You like slipping your fat cock between my titties, Daddy?" I ask innocently, squeezing his dick a bit more firmly.

"Ah, ah, yes babygirl! N-never felt this gooood!" He sputters back to me.

"Glad you're enjoying yourself. Though the other option was to lay on my back, spread open my legs and wet little pussy to you. Let you be the judge of which hole of mine you wanted.. first.."

I speed up my slippery tits, fucking his twitching cock from base to tip at a quick steady pace. The spit turned out to be the perfect lubricate as he easily plunges his dick between my tits.

"Oh fuck little girl, so goddamn perfect for me- haaaashit! Ahhaaaa, fuck! Ohmyfuckinggod y/n want that so bad. N-need to fuck every inch of you honey.."

His hands ball into fists as he widens his stance, giving me ample room to work. Those gorgeous eyes roll back into his head as he gasps at the sensation building in his groin.

"Yes, yes, yes! Please! Letmefuckyouhoney! P-please, need to cum y/n. Aaaaaaahfuuuuuck! Haven't cum in months. Pleasepleaseplease, will do anything sweetheart!"

Now completely understanding Tony's absolute desperation, my cunt flutters as his pleas to feel my pussy double and rise in volume. I slam my tits onto his dick repeatedly, loud wet smacking intermixed with his sobs.

"How long Daddy? Exactly how long since you sprayed your thick milky cream outta this big fat ass cock?" I ask, leaning to give kitten licks to the wide flushed tip.

I moan animatedly at the taste of the salty precum dripping from his leaky dick. It's so fucking addicting that I hungrily slurp on the head of his dick. His abs ripple as his body trembles through the onslaught.

"Almost a-Haaa! FUCK! Almostayeeeear! Ohshitohshit, gonna c-cum babygirl!"

Fuck that's way too damn long, so I resolve to not make him wait a second longer to fill up a wet and willing pussy.

"Yeeees ah, ah, ahhhh- wait! What the fuck?Come back here little girl!"

I giggle as I duck away from his hands swiping to pull my back towards his equally enraged dick. I scoot back on the plush white carpet, pulling off my squort and parting my shapely cocoa thighs. He's so immediately entranced at me spreading my pussy lips with one hand as I crook my finger and invite him over with the other.

"Oh fuck me, thank you sweetheart. Love you so much babygirl, you don't even know. Your my perfect girl, wish you were my wife instead honey."

I don't know if Tony knows he's speaking as he clumsily takes his place between my legs but the admission warms my heart.. And my pussy. I kiss his neck and hold him tight as he thanks me profusely for letting him inside.

He aims his dick at my pulsing little hole, tapping my clit twice before slipping about an inch of his dick inside. I keen at the stretch, whining and pulling at him for more but apparently that's all Daddy needs. Slamming his eyes shut, he hunches over me going completely feral and unloads months and months worth of frustration into me.

"Yea-eeeees, little girl! Lemme breed my favorite girl. Haaaaa fuck! Feels like heaven, cantstophoney! Ah, ah, ah, so gooood y/n. Love you much! So so so much!"

I relish how fucking whiny he becomes as he releases heavy splats of cum against my walls. The pressure of his load makes me moan like a whore underneath him as he holds me to his carpet by my shoulders and gives us both what we need.

"That's it Daddy, fill me up. Make me take your cum. I want all of it, yeeeees! Don't waste a drop, gimme my cream pleeeeease. My wet little kitty wants to drink up a thick dose of your milk Daddy, gimme!"

The force of Tony's nut stuns him but his fluttering lid reopens as he gazes at my face. Even through his flismy focus he stares at the sloppy saliva spattered on my tits and tummy down to where his dick splits me open wide.

It's my turn to become distressed as I hump at the rock hard cock dripping the last few drops of his load into my greedy cunt. Neither of us hear the front door open in our opposite state of minds; or the footsteps clicking towards our location.

"What the fuck?!" Peppers deranged voice echoes throughout the dim den making us jumps, the cock piercin me unintentionally stabbing a few inches deeper.

I wail in fucking pure delight, nails scratching down Tony's back as he immediately seethes at her entrance. It's clear he's not happy she interrupted our private moment. Still, his dick remains stiff as fuck inside me.

Lookin up at his wife with disdain, brows still pinched from the feeling of my pussy clutching at him hungrily, he demands that she leave.

Maybe it's time for Daddy to get a divorce..

[persephone11110]

Mother I’d Like To….

Jake Seresin x Bradshaw Wife Reader

Warnings: grey hair, aging insecurity, age gap(reader:45 J:34), Jake“I Love My Wife” Seresin, stepdad j.s, unnamed douchy ex/husband, religious word is used once-blasphemy, sprinkle of curse words, slighty smutty end

Summary: She embraced her grey hair with ease never seeing a problem with it until one night a young mean woman words come crashing into her head.

“One man's loss is another man's gain”.

ofc:Lucie Bradshaw-Seresin, other oc: Leo Bradshaw-Seresin,

pretend goose was born in 59 and the b4 he met carole he had a kid in 77 and then met carole and had bradley in 80. Also there’s kid name in their bcus Lucie has a son from her previous marriage and his name is hyphenated just like his mother. idc idc reader is an admiral while jakes still a lieutenant idk how idky. There’s five admiral’s instead of four.

AN: plz i don’t why the title is that don’t ask me, im dealing with insomia rn. I was gonna do B.Bx Reader. But decided against it. an old draft that took forever to finish. Should I make this into a small series?

–

“Awe, I think its nice your younger brother is here with you celebrating your 54th birthday”, the younger waitress drops the cake down infront of her.“Give him my number please”. (sn: waitress purposely switched the bday # around)

Lucie was beyond tired— not because she had get up for work the next morning, but because she’s sick and tired of being mistakened for her husbands sister. Jake Seresin is a blonde man, while Lucie Bradshaw-Seresin still had streaks of her brunette hair left. She couldn’t help but think about what that waitress said a couple of nights ago.

Look normally comments don’t bother her, being a mother and a woman in the navy she’s built a pretty thick shield around herself, Lucie always throws a fake smile on her face and pushes it to the back of her mind. But she’s cant help but realize the wrinkles that have made her face their new home or how her bones cracked when she went on her morning and evening run.

She’s getting old— what’s new?, You can only handle being mistakened as your husband’s sister for so long before your self-confidence sinks into hell. Lucie Seresin is always been known for impulsiveness, she’s proved it too many times to count. There’s a reason why the navy calls her Falcon.

An example is allowing that jackass to walk all over her.

She was standing infront of the bathroom mirror alongside her was a box of brown hair dye on the counter. While Lucie there she spends sometimes looking at herself, picking and prodding at her sagging skin.

Surprisingly. Only because she’s afraid of what Jake will think if her hair is re-dyed.

No matter how many times she dyes her hair, she still be old. “Hey Jake where’s your old lady at?”.

Lucie talked him up. She recognized that cologne from anywhere, Lucie straightens up and throws a fake smile on her face and greets her husband.“Hello Lieutenant Commander?”.

“I hate that dumb fuck so much”. Jake says, he has one hand on his hip and the other hand is carding through Lucie’s hair. “I swear Lucie the next time him and I—”.

Lucie could see Jake visibly stiffen, she could feel his confusion.“My Love is there is a box of hair dye behind you?”

“Mr. I See All”.

Shit…that— Lucie herself stiffens at the mention of the hair dye, suddenly finds herself combing through various insecurities in her head. Was she right— did Jake also hate her grey hair?, did he want her to keep the grey?

“Options”, Lucie lies with a smile on her face.“Just wanted to have just in case”.

Her husband green eyes zeroed in on her, but luckily he drops it.“okay darlin”. Maybe she should dye it, Jake doesn’t deserve someone like her on his arm.

“I know my opinion wasn’t asked for, but I love your grey hair”. You gotta be fucking kidding me. Wait a minute—

“Really?”

“Of course, darlin—how could I not?”

Thank god, that means Lucie doesn’t have use her hair dye— also means that she just wasted 15 dollars.

“Wow”, she doesn’t mean for that slip— but then again maybe this conversation is something they need have. She’s getting it over with.

“What Lucie?”Jake so gentle with her— he’s not getting angry by the minute. Lucie bites her lower lips in attempts to calm herself down. Great…now shes crying.

“Sugar, I’m so sorry I made you doubt yourself”, She hates whenever his eyes get so damn puppy like. He’s used it so many times to get out of trouble with her. EX:Between me and you darlin I purposefully pushed to mach 10”.

“It’s….It’s not your fault—”, Lucie starts again, her ex-husband words echoing in her ear.“Ducky, Ducky—me and you both your not pretty anymore”.

Jake’s fingers are underneath her chin, her eyes are rimming with tears.“Yes it is— I should’ve made sure my wife knew how much I was in love with her”. His arms wrapped around her waist— his fingers interlocked together. Never letting her go.

“I looked so much better in my prime Jake— I looked so good twenty years ago”. Lucie spits out her mouth-as if she just tasted something distasteful.

“Blasphemy” Jake’s shaking his head, and pulls from Lucie him— having the need to make sure his hardheaded wife listens to him.

“Jake—”. A strong hands strokes her face, dissuading Lucie from saying more hurtful words.

“Lucie, Lucie—darlin I know you outrank me by alot but listen to me right now”. He standing infront of her with a slight frown on his face. “I love every physical & emotional trait about you from your grey hair to the stretch marks from carrying our son to how you switch between Lucie to Admiral Seresin or how you always smile when you see a bird in the air”.

God her husband could’ve been a poet. She practically throws herself into Jake arms— clinging onto him for dear life. “You mean that Jake?”.

“Of course I mean that darlin, I’ll love you till the day I die”. She hates when Jake pulls her out of his arms again. “Darlin the dye must go”.

He walks over to the bathroom counter—“Would you like to do the honors Lucie?”

“Sure Lieutenant”, She replied with a small smile on her face, Lucie picked up the hair dye box and without hesitation threw it away.

“Need make sure you understand how much I love you twenty years later”, Jake stands behind her.

“Come show me Seresin”, he has his hands tightly wrapped around waist.

“I will Seresin”.

[cosmixbun]

my favorite moments from the owl house finale OBVIOUS SPOILERS DUH (timestaps + thoughts)

EVERYTHING IS IN TIMESTAMPS IN RELATION TO THE YOUTUBE VIDEO EPISODE AND NOT THE DISNEY+ EPISODE (they might be the same but it's 2:45 am (now 3:36 am as i publish this) and the disney+ ep isn't out yet lol)

4:50- i love hunter so much he's just like me and when i saw this i think my heart killed itself oh my god.

6:36- i love him, that's it i love him every time he's on screen i get so excited he's literally me, i am him

11:14- i cannot get over how much i love this design ??? i also love raine, ik that they r literally possessed rn (it's one of my favorite tropes omg i just cant they did the belos possession with my two favorite characters in this show)

15:50- i love raine SO MUCH i literally do not care that i keep saying this i just love raine. and the sterness of them saying get out to belos ??? ur literally my fav pls.

21:37- GAHHHHH THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE ???? i love seeing monster animated ESPECIALLY big ones with little details omg i wanna redraw this version of belos so bad.

21:44- MY FAVORITE SHOT ??? i live for skull shots.

22:58-die. die. die luz why would u do this and rip my heart out and step on it i cant

24:14- die. die. die. i started sobbing i hate watching other peoples reactions to emotional moments, it makes me cry more. AND CAMILA CRYING EVEN THO SHE'S STILL A PUPPET ?? death. im being buried alive actually.

24:54- THESE CLOSE UPS. KILLED. ME. the very slight detail to the lines is all it did for me, i literally wanted to rip my eyes out and watch these close up again.

25:14- KING ???? OH MY GOD ???? sorry i just love this little guy and seeing him angry is just so good i love it.

25:19- MY WIFE ????? get angry again pls omg i love u sm her losing control is also another one of my favorite tropes to exist ever.

29:59- omg dana im kissing the ground u walk on for this. i LOVE DETAILED MONSTERS OH MY GOD ???? dana u genius you.

31:40- THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND GRIEF OR DEATH :((((( so u want me to die, so u want me dead, so u want me to cry

32:15- GRAAAAHHHHH THIS ENTERANCE ???? I LOVE LUZ SM THIS IS SUCH A LUZ MOMENT.

34:13- I LOVE ANIMATION OH MY GOD I JUST ASDFJOEIAGJEORHGIERJROFJIER HG9ERAHIU. thank you animation, for existing.

37:10- STOP I LOVE THIS. ILY RAINE. AND THE LITTLE EDA AND RAINE MOMENT ??? stop i NEED them to kiss rn, rnrnrnrnrnrn.

38:02- THIS. FUCKING. FIGHT. "how anime can we get the entire scene." AND THEN BLEW IT TO 300000X MORE.

38:33- THE CALL BACK AFJAOGFJIHSAODFJSDFN i died actually, i cannot belive this. i think someone called it and im kissing their brain rn oh my god this is just so luz and then instead of LUZURA SHE SAYS LUZ, SHE GREW INTO HERSELF HERE.

38:55- MY FAVORITE LUZ MOMENT EVER OMG THIS IS SO LUZ OMG I LOVE THE ANIMATION AND THE PRESENTAION OF THE VOICE AND THEN JUST GAH I LOVE.

41:17- "bitch please." god i loved this moment. luz could literally give less of a damn. i loved belos as a villain and just this is so satisfying to luz and to the clawthore's.

44:13- HUNTER I LOVE YOU OMG PLS U CAN BE HAPPY NOW.

44:22- he's just like me fr, ik he got that pizzazz to him too, just look at him.

45:42- EDA AND RAINE NEST ?!?!?!? crying sobbing throwing up, oh my god when is it my turn to be happy.

46:08- CAMILA AND EDA MOMENT. :'( i shed a tear i loved this moment even if it was really tiny.

46:20- HOOTY AND LILY ADIFHASDIFHASIFI god i love lilith sm

46:42- OMG KILL ME AND KISS ALREADY PLS crying i love them sm

47:00- EDA AND RAINE PLS I LOVE YOU I CANT EVEN. (also didn't mention it before but raine's scars ??? <333333 def just like me) ((where is my eda pls i want to be like them))

48:03- OLDER LUZ AND THE PICTURES FSDKFSJDOFJASIF OLDER VEE ???? cried, im graduating this year and to see the graduation picture and luz going to college is so me and i just :((

48:25- AAAAA OLDER LUZ !!!! i love this design sm i see nothing wrong tbh AND THE FLAPJACK TAT OMG :((((

49:13- SOBBING WILLOW LOOKS SO CUTE OMG

49:25- MY BOY KFJAFJDFJ HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE CALEB I WAS SO SHOCKED FJASDFHA AND THEN THE TALISMAN BUSINESS SIGN IS FLAPJACK AND HE ALSO HAS A TATTOO AND NO MORE EYE BAGS AND I JUST :DDDDD HIS DESIGN IS SO GOOD IT SUITS HIM SO WELL AND I JUST :D. my boy is all grown up :(

49:34- stop i love the animation and them sm omg i cant (im not a huge huntlow shipper, i can see it but i like them as friends too)

50:08- OLDER LILITH OMG MY OTHER WIFE she so cute she is also just like me (she has pizzazz bc i have pizzazz and i think all characters i like have it too bc they r just like me)

50:20- i love older amity AND HER MENTOR IS LILITH WHICH IS SO CUTE :(( god i love them sm

50:27- HARPY LILITH MY BELOVED OMG I JUST CANT UR SO JFASDFHOAJO

51:10- i need these two to kiss so bad it's not even funny oh my god fanfic writers pls GET ON THIS. i love both of these guys so much

51:15- OLDER RAINE DFJAISDFIASDHF OIADJFOSADFH OASJF sorry i died their suit is so ???? gah i love them i just cant contain myself i love them.

52:10- GUSSSSSS !!!! finally a hair change babes it looks so good. and the boiling ises and the human realm exchange program !!! gah i love gus

52:16- WIFEY MOMENT OMG HIIII whoever gave the idea for a hook is getting kisses from me oh my GOD. she is so <33333

52:30- KING !!!! he's growing into himself i love it :D

52:48- sobbing they all look so good i cant even tell u how much i love them all

53:00- THIS. this kiss means so much to me it's so like authentic ??? of course the other ones are too but something about this one being so casual, like theres no threat and they just saw eachother, it's a kiss for just being there, in the moment.

53:19- crying, shaking, screaming, crying, this pan is so cute i cant even

54:46- this. is how u end a show. omg i just, wow

[leanrexisfin]

His dad made me uncomfortable with his statement 

I said he acts nice when other people are around 

He said what do you do 

He said woman are hell 

I said right 

He said men are normal were just animals 

Justin made ape sounds 

It grossed me out 

You guys are to emotional and that we could conquer the world in two days if we get our shit together 

I felt like he was trying to tell me fall in line 

I  felt insecure in my current setting 

I felt like he was comparing me to his wife (she’s 45) 

I felt like Justin didn’t stick up for me or tell him to stop 

I felt like Justin talks about me to him (I have been emotional ) that makes me uncomfortable

 I don’t like being compared to them because theyre old and the world is new and bright ( im 25)

I know that I am fine I feel like im just going through a difficult time right now and people are judging me for that. I wish I wasn’t having hard time but don’t have control over the current circumstance 

  Its a shame to me that I can’t have a weak moment. At least to the public in any sense male/female 

   I hate the patriarchy and how it makes women out to be this emotionally unstable raging bitch. 

 Women are not allowed to be women. Men are tyrants and just pass it off as being animalistic.

 I have a right to feel. and men do as well

 They get on high and always think they’re above the rest of the humans.

They forget when they feel 

  Justin was the most miserable person in my life who he had no money and life wasn’t going the way he wanted 

  I felt bad for him I empathize with what he may have been going through and I actually started to see things better. In this moment I began to grow 

  Goerge was miserable his job laid him off and he was in between jobs I witnessed it Fran spoke on it multiple times as well. 

 just the same I felt bad about Jorge and I couldn’t even imagine the pressure on his back to keep up the house and also the stress on Fran too have ahold up her end for her husbands sake I can’t imagine how that felt for george as well. 

 Justin is following behind his dad as he should but I am afraid that his father will contaminate his head with his nasty. Thoughts on women. I saw good in George until this conversation. Although Ive always noticed he goes on many power trips I never judged because I liked his character and maybe I still do but I completely disgree with his views on women and I don’t need someone who plans to be my husband having the same thought patterns. seeing woman as “emotional” instead of all knowing is delusional  . To think men call us such a stupid word is exactly that , delusional. Women are so Devine 

What’s the quote again ? Behind every great man is a greater woman.

So tell me how a great man is led by a emotional raging delusional bitch. 

Go figure 

And to the men that don’t respect woman as people. As humans. how about you take your dick and Continue to use womans bodies to jerk off. Because you deserve just that pathetic life you wish for. Filled with nothing 

And I feel sorry for Fran as much as I don’t like her either 

  How complicated of a life to live behind a man 

I don’t even think she likes to swing 

She just doing what he wants 

She so caught up in keeping her man and being a wife she can’t even see it anymore 

I don’t want to be like that 

Not ever 

I don’t wanna lose me in a man 

She works everyday

She cooks for him 

Cleans behind him 

Organize his life 

Probably take behind him

She has to stay happy stay horny and also be prepared to lick pussy when he feels frisky 

She’s VERY jealous and pretends to play its off and it kills her insides that (this is my assumption) she puts in all that work for a man who never kept his dick for her. Not even his eye balls 

She is constantly comparing herself to other woman she talks down on the girls she feels threatened by 

  and after feeling all that rage she plays it cool and washes the dishes the makes him a drink while trying to cook up a new way to suck him 

She’s not emotional she’s exhausted 

She’s pretending she’s not 

My mother does the same thing 

Women carry this burden and its so stupid and meaningless I wonder if it is even worth is to try to keep a man 

Do I get white man ? 

Do I settle so a rich mana nd cry in a rolls royce ?

Do I manipulate my man for years on end to stay on top ?

Do I find a stupid man who offers no mental elavation because he’s easy ?

Do I waste my years “waiting it out”?

Or do I die alone. 

[queenshelby]

The Last Semester – Part 19

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 1,192

Warning: Pregnancy Mentioned

Prior Parts: https://queenshelby.tumblr.com/post/659848352665600000/pairing-cillian-murphy-x-reader-words

After you received the somewhat strange message from Cillian and nothing else, you decided to drive over to his house not knowing that his boys were staying with him for the weekend.

You were sad, upset and angry about the way he behaved and, of course, you didn’t know that it wasn’t him who sent the message to you.

After you pulled into his driveway and rang the doorbell, he opened the door and stepped outside.

‘I can’t talk now Y/N, the boys are inside’ Cillian said almost surprised that you came to his place unannounced.

‘Why are you doing this to me?’ you asked, upset and angry.

‘Come on, not here’ Cillian said, grabbing the key from the sideboard inside the hallway and closing the door behind him before walking around the back of the house with you into his studio.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you? Sending me this message after you haven’t bothered to make contact with me for two weeks. Are you delusional?’ you shouted with anger as he closed the door behind you.

‘I am sorry Y/N. I don’t know what had gotten into me’ Cillian said, not wanting to tell you the truth about his son getting hold of his phone.

‘I just needed to think about this, about us’ he then said, somewhat confused and unsure whether he should be saying anything at all.

‘I am not doing this anymore Cillian. I am through with this, with you. I honestly am. You are 45 years old and are acting like a child’ you huffed out.

‘Exactly, I am 45. I am fucking 20 years older than you Y/N. How do you think this is going to work out, eh? I can guarantee you that, in about five years, you will be sick of this. I can’t risk that regardless of the feelings that I have for you’ Cillian responded somewhat frustrated.

‘Do you really trust me that little, thinking that I can’t commit to our relationship?’ you then asked somewhat saddened.

‘Y/N, I just think you need to be with someone your own age. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you to start off with. It was a mistake’ Cillian then said, thinking back at your father’s words and even what his mother had told him after reading the article.

‘I was a mistake. Yeah, thanks’ you said before turning around, tears running down your face.

‘That’s not what I meant’ Cillian said, taking hold of your arms, realising what he had just said to you.

‘Don’t touch me. Fuck’ you growled, hormonal and full of anger.

‘Y/N, I love you. It just isn’t going to work’ Cillian then said and you were quick to shut him off once again, knowing that this wasn’t going anywhere until Cillian became to realise that the social perceptions about your relationship and the obstacles you were facing didn’t matter if your bond was strong.

‘I need to go’ you then quickly huffed out and Cillian gave you a quick nod, his eyes teary and his mind struggling with the thought of letting go of you once and for all, thinking that it was the right thing to do.

***

When you arrived back home, you were in tears and your father was quick to ask you what had happened.

‘Well, you got what you wanted all along. Cillian realised that getting involved with me was a mistake’ you huffed out, at which point your stepmother looked at you rather concerned.

‘Y/N, he is right though. It was never going to work out. You are at two different stages of your lives’ your father said almost relieved in a way. Yet, you could tell that his mind was elsewhere.

‘Yeah, perhaps one of your other friends is more suitable’ you said sarcastically, knowing that your father’s argument with Cillian had something to do with Cillian’s change of mind. But of course, you didn’t know all of the reasons behind it. You didn’t know about Cillian’s agent having been in his ear for months nor did you know about Cillian’s ex wife’s numerous stunts since she found out about you.

Instead of responding to your somewhat inappropriate comment, your father bit his tongue. He didn’t say anything. In fact, he spoke neither to you nor to your stepmother Lorraine for the remainder of the evening.

***

The following day, at around 8 o’clock, when you spent the first night in your new apartment in Dublin, you got a call from your stepmother asking whether you knew where your father was.

‘A few weeks ago, before everything turned to shit, Cillian mentioned that his friend Enda was visiting Dublin for a few days this month. Maybe he is having a drink with him at the pub?’ you said, unsure where else he could be.

‘Well, usually he tells me if he goes out and doesn’t come home for dinner’ she said somewhat worried, but you didn’t know what to tell her.

***

Around the same time when your stepmother called you to enquire about your father’s whereabouts, Cillian heard a loud knock on the door.

‘Hey’ your father said, slightly drunk as Cillian opened the door and their friend Enda, who was staying at Cillian’s house for a few days, walked through the hallway.

‘Hold on, I will get my camera before you start beating each other up. I am going to cash in at the Courier Mail if I get a good picture’ Enda chuckled as Cillian was lost for words, surprised to see your father at the door.

‘I am not here to pick a fight. I am here because I want to have some drinks with my friends’ your father said and, just as he did, Cillian asked him to come inside and handed him a beer.

‘Are you alright? You don’t look so good man’ Cillian said as the three of them sat down in the living room.

‘I am fine. You?’ your father asked politely, but already knowing the answer to his question.

‘Fine’ Cillian said following which there was an awkward silence between the three of them.

‘How are the boys?’ your father then asked.

‘Fine. I can see them again, at least’ Cillian said.

‘Of course, your ex withheld contact again when you and Y/N were seeing each other’ your father said, knowing that it wasn’t the first time that this has happened.

‘Let’s not talk about Y/N please. I have a media engagement tomorrow and need my face intact’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Sorry about that man. I was angry’ your father said, causing Cillian to nod.

‘I deserved it’ Cillian said briefly before Enda quickly changed the topic.

‘So, how is Lorraine? How are your boys?’ Enda then asked.

‘Lorraine, my fucking wife, I think she is cheating’ your father huffed out causing Enda and Cillian to look at him with surprise.

‘What makes you think that?’ Cillian then asked.

‘I fucking found this in the trash. She is fucking pregnant’ your father then said as he pulled the pregnancy test out of his jacket and put it onto the living room table.

‘You lost me there, man. Couldn’t the baby be yours?’ Enda asked somewhat flustered.

‘I had a vasectomy four years ago man’ your father said.  

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[bpdcatmom]

i just wanna throw this out into the world so that maybe just maybe someone can relate. im a 27 yr old mom of 3 children. my oldest two a boy and a girl respectivly , (fuck i cantt spell, oh fucking well) they live with their dad, my ex husband and his wife about 45 min away. i havent seen them since May, next weekend will mark 6 months since ive seen them. i feel like im being alienated from my kids. My ex, N, says that they dont wanna come over because they feel like they arent included...when legit my time with them is spent with them and their younger brother. im not quite sure i understand that, but its like every time i try to talk to my oldest son about it he changes the subject or suddenly has to go or he doesnt wanna talk about it. that alone hurts my feelings. i guess mine dont matter. anyway i talked to N the other day that i thought he was keeping them from me and everything...he called me paranoid and delusional. idk if hes just gaslighting me or what. Its like none of the reality that ive been living the last four years has actually happened. i honestly wanna know what fairy tale world hes been livinbg in. 

to be fair i have borderline personality disorder, as well as bipolar, among others. he says he doesbnt understand how ive been “working on myself” for aost four years now and have still gotten nowhere. fuck it

[honkhonkrichard]

Theory: Stanley Uris was Murdered.

Tagging @vvanini I hope you can follow this okay it’s very word vomity lol

Okay So TW because this post will touch on Stan's death ad the methods behind it

I propose that Stan Uris was murdered. by IT. In his home on that fateful night. I think that Stan posed the biggest threat to IT and therefore IT felt the need to take him out before the battle even started.

Allow me to explain.

Okay, so, I need to lay out some basic "rules" or "facts" before I make my case. They are as follows.

- IT planted it's roots in Derry, and finds it difficult to leave, but still can at it’s own wil.  If you read the book (I honestly don't blame you if you haven't) You'd know that once the Losers kill IT for the final time, Derry (the Physical town) is obliterated. Buildings explode, sinkholes appear, things are flooded. The town is in ruins by the time that the Losers leave the sewers. The movies don't adapt this so If this is news to you thats fine. the bottom line is that destroying IT destroys Derry, like ripping a tree out of the ground with all it's roots. Because of this, we can make the claim that while it can Leave Derry (as it does every 27 years) it probably takes tremandous amount of power to do so, which is why IT only goes when the cycle is over. Why does this matter? Well, what if IT left Derry to get to Stan? The murders had stopped for about a week when they're all in the Jade of the Orient. Plenty of time for IT to cross from Maine to Georgia. Side Note: We KNOW IT leaevs Maine to elsewhere in the world because of King's extended universe all interconnecting. it's not far off at all to make the claim that IT is the same evil that haunts, say The Shining's Overlook Hotel, which is in Colarado.

- IT is omnipresent This is also a given, IT lives everywhere, and can fuck with time and space in godlike (or maybe eldritch like) ways. in IT: Chapter Two, when Mike claims "IT Doesn't know I know what I know" he's unfortunately wrong, because we know that IT can be in A) Multiple places at once, B) can manipulate anything on the drop of a hat (See: Stan being teleported away from everyone else in Chapter One, Everything about Neibolt, etc) and C) Knows everyone's deep fears. This is further proven by IT Saying things like "Beep Beep Richie" (although this is Horribly Horribly executed in the films, ugh.) and so on and so forth. On top of all of this, We can make the claim that IT can exist outside of Time as well, given that IT is immortal. SO, what's stopping IT from Knowing Mike was going to call them all back (Espically considering that IT TOLD Mike to do this?). Even if we keep IT's omnipresence to the location that IT inhabits (in this case Derry) IT would still have knowledge of where the losers are through Mike. And if you take the Lucky Seven/Chosen Seven route (oh my god I got theories on that too) you could argue IT knows where they are inherently due to their cosmic status.

- Stan is the "most Powerful" loser So, obviously all the Loser's are powerful, espically considering they're the ones who Defeat IT (Again going on to the Lucky/Chosen Seven theory). This next claim is going to be less focused on what the 2019/2017 Movies do because they are Bad Movies and that's a whole other rant. However, in the book, Stan is (to my knowledge feel free to correct me on any of this) the only loser to Actively ward off and 'defeat' IT on his own without running away. He uses his belief in this what is Real (birds) to ward off what is "not real" (IT). The other losers do manage to take down IT in their own Right, but Stan is ultimately the one to Really get IT. This is because Stan's character revolves around Belief and Willpower. These are, in some form or another, the ways to Defeat IT. the ritual of Chud is a battle of Wills. in the book, Bill takes IT down and Eddie does the final blow. In the Remake (ugh) the losers can defeat it Technically using the belief that IT isn't as powerful as it claims because IT's "just a clown" (Ihatethatfuckingendingsomuchugh). Stan being much more skeptical than the rest of the group in his ability to understand Reality vs IT's illusions is a powermove, and IT knows that ability doesn't go away as Stan grows up, but rather he gets more powerful. Stan is the Only loser out of the 6 who left that has any sort of knowledge about IT, where the other losers have nothing. Bev has nightmares, yes, but she still forgets them. We're told in his chapter (Chapter 3, Six Phone Calls (1985), Part One: Stanley Uris Takes a Bath) that he has some hazy knowledge of his place in the Lucky Seven, and even goes so far as to MENTION it sometimes, even if he doesn't quite remember or understand any of it, his knowledge of IT and Derry is worlds more prominent than that of the rest of the losers.

(page 52 of IT:  "Stanley, nothing's wrong with your life!"  "I don't mean from inside." he said. "From inside is fine. I'm talking about outside. Something that should be over and isn't. I wake up frmo these dreams and think, 'My whole pleasent life has been nothing but the eye of some storm I don't understand.' I'm afraid. But then it just... fades. The way dreams do." OR  page 45: He had been smiling a little. Now the smile faltered, and for a moment he seemed puzzled. His eyes had darkened, as if he looked inward, consulting some interior device which ticked and whirred correctly but which, ultimately he understood no more than the average man understands the workings of the watch on his wrist. "The turtle couldn't help us," he said suddenly. he said that quite clearly.)

So, Stan has some cosmic knowledge of IT and Maturin and his role in the battle against It. What does any of this have to do with his death? Well, let me point out some other things about Stan's death that always stuck out to me. - His death chapter is narrated by his wife, Patty, rather than himself. The other chapters - almost all the other chapters - are narrated by their respective Loser (the caviot for this is Ben, but Ben is also wasted out of his damn mind so its understandable.) - Stan's personality is few and far between in the book, but we know he has a weird little sense of humour and that he's incredibly logical. I think that this logical part of him would be able to understand that Suicide is Never Ever the answer, and that it would cause FAR more problems than it would solve. (the 2019 movie tries to reexplain his death and it's crap and i hate the letters i hate the letters so much im gonna explode) The other losers try to rationalize his death by saying "He would rather Die Clean than Live Dirty (Page 506, Chapter 10, The Reunion, part 3, 'Ben Hanscom Gets Skinny') but he had already BEEN Dirty when he defeated IT the first time, and I think he would've recognized that. - upon finding him, Patty (in her narration) notes that Stan's head is bent back over the edge of the bathtub, so from his sight she would have been upside down. If Stan DID kill himself, why would he be positioned like that? It's unnatural, like someone Posed him. - the cuts on his arms are two length wise cuts. I'm no expert but.. that's suspicious. That's weird. - IT is written in blood on the wall. Why? Why would Stan right THAT of all things? You know who DOES like to paint with blood? IT.

Alright, returning to my thesis statement, Stanley Uris was murdered. Do I think Stan genuinely was going to take a bath at 7pm (which we're told is weird for him)? Yes. I think that's absolutely a thing he could have done or planned to do. Do I think he slit his wrists and commited suicide so he wouldn't go back to Derry? No. Not even remotely.

Let me paint a New Picture.

It's May 28th, 2016, or 1985. Stanley Uris gets a call from Mike Hanlon. Stan is incredibly hesitant to go to, and says he needs time to think about it. Or tht he'll try. He can feel the starts of a Panic attack, and as he's remembering the circles of Hell he went through as a child, he tries to hold himself together. He doesn't want his darling wife to see his break, so he says "I think I'll take a bath" and nothing else before going upstairs. he hides in the bathroom. He closes and locks the door, because, well, he's panicking. Locking doors is one of The Small things he does. Is it usually the bathroom door? no, but still (OCD is a bitch, and even with medication, but this is a special case). He looks in the mirror and tries to breathe. This is fine. He can do this. They killed IT once before and they can do it again. He thinks about his younger self, the promises made, and how he could explain all of this Patty in time to catch a flight to Maine. It's terrifying, but if his friends are going to bite the dust, he wants to be there with them, wedding vows be Damned. Then he looks at his reflection again. A younger, rotted version of himself stares back at him. IT crawls through the mirror. Stan freaks out, obviously. This isn't real. This Can't be real. But IT utilizes this notion against him. It digs it's claws into his arms, and forces him to bleed out in the bathtub. IT then sets the scene nicely. Razorblades on the counter, a bloody signature on the wall, a horrible posture of Stan's neck. So on and So forth. and then IT returns to Derry. IT's a little weak, yeah, but Stan is dead. That's what matters. the Lucky Seven has now Officially broken, and the balance shifts in favour of the clown.

So that's the theory. feel free to correct me on anything or engage I have plenty of theories on this story and I like discussing this stuff :).

[strawberry-lemonade-kisses]

You and her

MUGEN TRAIN SPOILERS, read at your own risk.

You shuffled around the front yard, hanging the still soaked laundry up to dry with the help of your brother in law, Senjuro. You were so grateful he was so willing to stay with you while Kyojuro was away. As time went on simple tasks around the house became hard to manage with your growing baby bump. 

"Y/N? Maybe you should leave the rest to me and go relax for a while. You already did the washing and made breakfast" Senjuro hovered next to you, grabbing at the blanket you were trying to take down.  He was so much like his brother, so Doting and careful with you. You were sure Kyojuro had asked him to take extra care of you before he left for his work. But maybe he had a point, your back had been hurting more recently and Shinobu had warned you about overexerting yourself this far along. 

"You are right, maybe I should. Do you want tea?" Allowing Senjuro to remove the blanket from your grasp, you stepped back from the basket of clean linens. He hummed as he turned towards the clothing line. 

"Yes, and maybe after tea we can write to Kyojuro" he smiled over at you as you nodded. You still hadn't sat down to write a reply to your husband's recent letter. Telling of his time investigating a suspicious train. Before he left they didn't know much and so far it seems he hadn't found anything yet. It looked like you wouldn't be seeing him for another week or two. 

"Let's do that. I'm sure he would love to hear what Tengen and the girls brought over the other day" you made your way back towards the house, going straight to the kitchen to prepare tea and maybe wash some of the fruit tengen and his wife's had brought armfuls of the other day. 

"I was told it helps babies stay healthy. So we brought a lot, make sure you eat lots okay?" Tengen passed along his information whole he stored away your abundance of fruits in the kitchen, refusing any of your help. He waved you off with a huff, kicking you out of your own kitchen and grumbling about letting him 'do the hard work' 

The tea pot was steadily puffing out steam by the time you had arranged a plate of apples, grapes, and oranges. A nice, decadent arrangement for such a nice summer day. You were grateful to have someone to spend time with during such a nice day. Maybe, you could go into town later, buy Senjuro something nice as a thank you for all his help. He mentioned something about a new haori, a nice white one like the older one Kyojuro had.

“Y/N?” You were pulled from your thoughts with Senjuros solemn face, standing towards the doorway. “There’s Kakushi here asking for you” Your eyes widened at the sentence, unsure how to proceed. Senjuro shuffled awkwardly as you stood there, frozen in fear. A visit like this was  never a good sign, something happened, something was wrong. If it was a minor injury Kaname would tell you, not the Kakushi. “Y/N?” he called again, his timid voice breaking through the trance you felt yourself in. Humming in acknowledgement you wiped the juice off your hands, placing the towel back on the counter before you went to the front of the house.

“Mrs. Rengoku?” The woman in the black uniform addressed you, kneeling on the ground as she looked up at you. You nodded, waiving for her to continue, she cleared her throat, taking a piece of paper from her pocket, she read it aloud. “At 6:45 this morning we received a call for emergency medical care on The Flame Hashira, Kyojuro Rengoku. After the battle of lower moon 1 on the Mugen train the surviving flame hashira alongside 3 Mizunoto, Tanjiro Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, and Inosuke Hashibira were approached by the upper moon 3. The flame hashira single handedly fought the upper moon 3.” She paused, looking up from the piece of paper anxiously. You grabbed onto Senjuros shoulder as he stood next to you, looking up at you. “Upon arrival Kyojuro Rengoku was unresponsive. Pronounced dead at 6:55.” She bowed her head, folding herself in half as she lowered herself to the ground. You felt dizzy, the tears immediately pushing out as her words hit you. They traveled fast, each syllable feeling like a weight on your shoulder, pushing you down as you sank to your knees. Cries ripped through your throat, tearing their way up as they escaped you. Senjuro clung to you desperately, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as he sank down next to you, tears wetting the shoulder of your kimono.

“Miss Rengoku, We are so sorry. Working with Kyojuro has been an honor. They will be by with him shortly so you can say your final goodbyes.” The woman spoke hesitantly, wiping the tears from her eyes as she gave a final bow. You couldn’t see through the flood of tears in your eyes, the never ending stream of salted water that flowed down your face. 

It seemed like forever before you stopped crying. Your throat hurt from your cries, the anguish that had escaped you in your grief. Senjuro had cried himself to sleep, his hands still clinging to your kimono as you both sat on the engawa. Although your cris had stopped, the tears didn’t. A steady stream still ran down your face as you went over your memories, memories that won't be made anymore

"My heart burns for you Kyojuro. The blood that runs through my veins, the blood that keeps me going. It runs just so I can go back to you. You are my flame, brightening the dark night, lighting my way. I never want you to be blown out, I will protect you in every way that I can, I will shield you from the winds and cover you from the rains. Kyo, my flame" you pushed his bangs away from his face, peppering kisses along his jaw as you spoke to him. You hear him exhale softly beneath you, his grip on your hips loosening as he relaxes. 

"You drive me wild, my sunflower, you must be trying to get me to stay.” He huffed “I wish I could stay here with the two of you forever, I would want to carry you both everywhere with me, not letting even a hair of yours touch the ground. Leave it to me, sunflower, I will do it. Once she's born, I'll do it.” You hummed in response, leaning back in his arms. Your hands still cupped his face as you looked down at him, his gentle gaze as he stared down at your large stomach. 

"Come home quickly. She will be ready to meet you when you get back. She will miss you as much as I will" he nodded, a smile gracing his lips as he pulled you into his chest, calloused hands resting on your back. 

"I will be home quicker than lightning for you, my love. You and her" He pulled back, leaving a chaste kiss on your head. “I must go though, the sooner I leave, the sooner I will be home” You got up from straddling him, hands never leaving his body as you climbed off. He rose after you, grabbing onto his small amount of belongings he usually took with him. His sword rattled as he moved, the metallic hum vibrated through your small home. “Don’t forget your snacks” You waddled to the kitchen, hand already supporting your back as you moved with the weight of your baby. He was already standing in the front doorway, looking out at the early morning fog that blanketed your yard when you returned to his side, holding the small box of fruit and sweet potatoes. A travel snack you always made for him. He looked over at you, a smile gracing his lips as he took the wrapped box.

“Thank you my dear” He leaned forward, pulling you into him with his free hand as he moved against your lips. The kiss didn’t seem to last long enough for you, a small sigh leaving your lips as he pulled away, making his way down the front steps.

“Be safe, my flame. Come back quickly” With a wink and a wave he disappeared into the fog.

His words rang in your head, a reminder of his promise. The gentle words you said to each other before he left. If you would have known it was the last time, maybe you would have done it differently. Maybe you would have given him a whole meal for the road instead of small snacks. Maybe you would have convinced him to stay this time. Maybe if you had done something different, then maybe he’d still be here.

“Y/N” You looked down at the boy in your arms, his voice hoarse from crying. You wiped the snot off his face with your sleeve, pushing his bangs out of his damp eyes.  

“I know Senjuro, I know. I’m sorry sweetie. Thank you for staying with me so much” His grip on you tightened, his head falling back onto your shoulder as he let out another cry.

A/N - im sorry if the ending sucks, i was crying to much to finish it like a proper story. Anyways, sorry about your feelings

[allegra-writes]

I posted 5,182 times in 2021

738 posts created (14%)

4444 posts reblogged (86%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 6.0 posts.

I added 419 tags in 2021

#ben barnes - 97 posts

#billy russo - 59 posts

#harrison osterfield - 45 posts

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#billy russo x reader - 26 posts

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Longest Tag: 129 characters

#i spent way too much on therapy for my unresolved issues with musicians to creep up on me when im writing a simple valentines fic

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

*sigh* so it’s that time again…could really use your fluff superpower 💞 no pressure though, I could always go back and re-read your masterlist

NEVER!! If my baby needs fluff, then fluff my baby shall have! This might be a bit bad cause I'm running a fever right now so... Bear with me😂

Anyway, here, have a little fluffy blurb that can be read as Alina x Darkling or Reader x Darkling depending on your mood.

"Grisha don't get sick"

He was a pitiful sight. He truly was: chest heaving, cheeks rosy with the unhealthy crimson of fever, alabaster skin paler than usual, on his hands and knees on the palace floor, no doubt after having lost his balance, but, somehow, I couldn't bring myself to pity him.

"I hope now you listen to me, and finally go to bed" I scolded, stopping right on front of him, hands on my hips. He looked up at me with glossy unfocused eyes,

"You sound like Baghra" He accused, making me roll my eyes.

"Well, if you were half a stubborn as a child as you are when you're sick, I think I can empathize with her"

"I'm not sick" He insisted, petulantly, even tho he was letting me support most of his weight as I helped him get up, "Grisha don't get sick"

"Fine. Poisoned, then. Obviously, someone slipped you something, a mysterious new chemical that makes you manifest every single symptom of the Flu, designed solely for you, since none of our tasters seems affect by this poison" I snorted, bending under his weight. It was obvious we weren't going to make it into his bedchambers, so I changed course, setting on the nearest guest room, that luckily was only a few feet away.

He mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "damn right" into my hair, his -way too hot- breath sending shivers down my traitorous body, that forgot to be annoyed at him.

Finally reaching the bed, I tried to untangle from him and drop him on it, but he held onto me, making us both fall on the mattress.

"Well, well, well... If this was the reason you wanted so bad to get me into a bed, my darling wife, you needed only ask" The seductive effect of his smirk was completely ruined by the coughing fit that started shaking his body even before the last word was able to leave his mouth. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes yet again, instead getting up and away from him, despite his whining. He called my name, the genuine panic in his voice making me turn before reaching the door.

"Wait! Don't... Don't leave me, please!" He sounded so small, so vulnerable and unsure, I couldn't help but melt a little: There he was, the second most powerful Grisha in the whole world (the first being myself), the stoic, powerful Starless Saint who instilled fear in the hearts of our enemies and allies alike, reduced to a frightened, needy mess by a simple illness that hadn't been lethal in well over a century. Not to mention, he was actually immortal.

I shook my head. Men, they were all the same.

He pouted, misunderstanding my gesture.

"I'm not leaving, I'm just calling for a maid to bring us the tea the healers made"

"The healers already made the tea?"

"Yes, you might be in denial but luckily for you, your wife wasn't. The kitchens are already fully stocked with herbal tea, and chicken soup"

"And ice cream? For my sore throat?" He ventured, hopefully. By now, Ravka's eternal tsar's sweet tooth was the kingdom's worst kept secret.

"Yes, and Ice cream"

His replying smile was nothing short of beatific.

"Now, be a good boy, and stay there until I come back. Choose a movie for us to watch together, just-"

"No dramas" He smiled, trying to nod, but aborting the mission when the room started spinning around.

"No tragedies" I confirmed, practically sprinting out of the room, already in a hurry to get back to him as soon as possible. No, no tragedies, I thought. Only fluff, and happy endings for us. Forever.

565 notes • Posted 2021-05-16 22:39:40 GMT

#4

What do you think of a married darkling one shot where his wife is completely indifferent to his feelings/affair with Alina? Like she’s a Second army soldier first and is willing to put the grisha ahead of her feelings and marriage.

I'm thinking I could give it a (one) shot *ba dum tsk* I'm sorry please don't hate me

"Plan B"

Aleksander Morozova x Reader

General audiences

Warnings: Angst but like, not really

Alina was on fire. Her lungs were aflamed, her legs burning with strain, but she kept on running, she had to: she wasn't safe, wasn't going to be safe until she was outside of the palace grounds, outside of the city. Hell, probably outside of Ravka.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she realized her eyes where burning too.

He had lied to her. He had lied to her since the very beginning, and she had believed him, had let herself be swept away by gifts, and romantic ride dates and pretty words and soulful looks. Baghra's words resonated in her head "He's had centuries to master lying to naive girls"

A sob broke through her chest, the tears finally flowing free, obscuring her vision. She was almost blind in the darkness of the forest, so it shouldn't have come as a surprise when she slammed into something hard and huge and was sent careening to the ground.

"Alina?"

"Mal!"

"Alina?" The second voice was a little harder to place, her eyes straining a little to see the features of the person it belonged to, until she finally recognized you.

"Y/N?" Alina took in your plain clothes, your winter boots, your traveling cape. Her mouth fell open in shock, was this why you had missed the fete? People had notice your absence, of course, and most were saying the reason for it was jealousy, that you were too bitter to stand there while the world watched Alina perform. Now she was starting to suspect different. "You're not wearing your keftka"

"Neither are you" You noted, stepping closer, and even in the dark Alina could see your gaunt, hollowed face, the bags under your eyes that looked too heavy to be just a day old. Genya must have helped you hide them, back at the little palace, but now you didn't need to keep your strong facade anymore.

Alina didn't know what to say. How many times had your suffering brought a smile to her face? She felt sick to her stomach remembering the dark satisfaction she had found in every new bit of gossip. The pleasure she had felt the morning Genya had presented her with a black keftka, the very next day after you had stopped wearing yours. The twisted joy when she woke up to a palace buzzing with rumours about you having moved out of the chambers next to the general's, the ones that had always been reserved for his personal heartrender but everyone knew what they really were for...

She felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment as she confessed,

"He-... He lied to me" There was no need to clarify, there was only one man in the world she could be talking about.

"Yeah, he has a habit of doing that" Your voice was a weak murmur breaking a little at the end, and Alina felt a new pang of guilt hit her chest. She had hated you so much, when you had never been anything but polite to her, despite everything. Because you had never, ever done anything at all to deserve her animosity, other than being the lover of the man she had a stupid schoolgirl crush on.

Now she realized you both had been his victims.

"Not that I'm not all for reunions," Mal's voice made the both of you jump slightly. Had she really forgotten he was there? "But we'd do best to keep moving"

Mal, loyal Mal, pragmatic Mal, pushing all of his questions and feelings and thoughts aside until the task was done, until the three of you could find some shelter or some safe hideout... He didn't wait for your reply before starting to walk again, and you both followed him in silence for a couple of minutes, until Alina's brain decided to catch up with the bizarreness of the situation of having her childhood friend from Keramzin and her not-really-nemesis from the little palace and the darkling's second in command running away together.

But Alina wasn't as stoic as Mal. She voiced her thoughts,

"What are you doing together?"

You opened your mouth to reply but Mal beated you to it.

"She saved my life," He surprised her saying, "back at that old hag's hut"

"Baghra?"

You nodded.

"... How?"

"I never trusted the woman," You admitted without a trace of shame, "but lately, she has been behaving even weirder than usual, so I kept an eye on her cause I was convinced she was going to try something at the winter fete, while everyone was distracted. I mean," You gestured a little awkwardly to your peasant clothes, "It's what I would do, ehrm, did... Anyway, I saw Olga guiding him and another first army soldier to her hut, and then I saw Baghra attack them"

It still didn't answer why you had saved him, an otkazat'sya, when you were the general's second in command...

Alina only realized she had spoken out loud when Mal stopped dead in front of you and Alina almost crashed into his back.

"Wait, you are The Heartrender? The Darkling's Heartrender? The Serdtseyedka?"

Alina understood Mal's astonishment, you had a fearsome reputation: The stone-cold beauty that rode in the night alongside the Black General, glowing in the moonlight, stopping the hearts of entire garrisons with the flick of a wrist. But in front of them, there was just a girl, an ordinary looking girl with a tired demeanor and slightly slouched shoulders and the sallow complexion of someone who had spent days crying, that not even the glow the use of grisha powers could totally erase.

"I'm not the general's anything" You snapped, "Not anymore"

Alina nodded her confirmation at Mal. If he saw, he ignored her,

"Why did you save me?"

"When Olga announced you, I recognized your named" You sighed, "from the letters the general keeps at his desk in a locked drawer"

Alina gasped, a new dagger of pain finding its way into her chest. Her letters, of course he had intercepted them. Just when she didn't think he could be any worse, a new betrayal proved exactly how evil Aleksander really was.

"I don't know why Baghra wants you dead, though"

Mal rubbed his face with his hands, cursing the moment he had decided to take on the assignment,

"The stag. It has to be about the stag..."

You blanched,

"Wait, you found the stag? Morozova's stag?"

"Wait, what do you know about the stag?" Alina demanded.

"I-... I thought he had lost his mind" You explained, almost sheepishly, "That stag is a myth, a fairy tale!" You shook your head, regretful, "I should have known better, now all of us are in danger. Hell, the whole world is in danger! Alina, he wants your power! He plans to use the stag to control you!"

"I know, Baghra told me"

"Baghra? But then why would she-" Understanding dawned in your face, "Oh, saints! I saved the only chance Aleksander has at finding the stag..." You swore colourfully, very very colourfully. Enough for Mal's face to illuminate with amusement. Alina felt a faint stab of familiar jealousy at having the object of her affections show you attention, but she pushed it away. Now it was not the time, and you were too much of a powerful ally to reject. With you and Mal an an amplifier, she might actually stand a chance against the darkling...

For the first time in what felt like forever, she felt a glimmer of hope, and it felt as warm as her light.

She straightened, squaring her shoulders with resolve,

"Not if we find it first..."

***

The general was pacing his war room, shadows licking at his hills, eyes shinning with murderous intent. Ivan did not want to be the one to deliver these new set of news to him, not when he was already so... Upset. But the thought of leaving Fedyor do it was unacceptable, even if he was your personal heartrender/bodyguard. In the state he was in, Ivan knew being met with the cut after informing his boss of the new development was entirely within the realm of possibility, and leaving his husband be the one to face that was simply unthinkable.

He took a deep breath, steeling himself, before clearing his throat,

"Moy sovereingy?"

General Kirigan stopped in his tracks, turning to face him.

"Yes, Ivan? Do you have any news for me?" His tone was deceivingly calm, but Ivan knew better. He could hear his galloping heart after all.

Ivan gulped. He couldn't do this, oh saints help him, he couldn't!

"Well??" The general promoted, impatient.

Ivan opened his mouth, trying to get his tongue to work, the words to come out.

They wouldn't.

Kirigan huffed,

"If you're just going to stand there, gaping like a fish-"

"She's gone" He blurted out.

The general closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in a clear effort not to kill his second best heartrender,

"Yes, I know miss Starkov-"

"Not her, sir. Y/N- lady Kirigan, your wife" Oh, great, now his mouth refused to stop, "She's not in her chambers"

The general froze.

"Ivan..." He started, slowly, as if he already knew the answer but refused to believe it, "If you mean the ones outside that door" He pointed at his left, to the double doors that led to the suite you had occupied for decades, "she vacated them last month..."

Please, say you mean those chambers, the plea hanged in the air between them. Ivan shook his head, mournfully.

"No, sir. Her chambers in the corporalki pavillion"

Aleksander felt his heart stop inside his chest, and he had to look at Ivan's hands to confirm that no, it wasn't the sullen heartrender's doing.

No. It couldn't be. You weren't gone. You couldn't be gone.

"Was she-"

Ivan shook his head again, interrupting him,

"No, sir. Some of her things are gone. She seems to have left by her own means"

In a blink, Aleksander was already halfway across the palace, marching into the corporalki wing, ignoring the curious looks of his grisha as he bursted through the doors of your new bedroom.

He was almost knocked back by your familiar scent, raspberry and peppercorn and something else, something peculiar and coppery and alive all corporalki seemed to have. The smell of the life force at the heart of the making of the world.

He almost wept at the sight of the magnificent kefta he had had made just for you, decadent velvet in blood red at the shoulders that gradually darkened until it finally pooled into the richest black at your feet, because if you refused to wear his colour, he would find a way to compromise, laying unused on your bed. You hadn't even made an appearance at the fete, he already knew that, his eyes had searched for you the entire night.

He had been so in edge, impatiently waiting for you to show up, he had almost snapped at Alina, having confused the room's sudden silence as a sign of your entrance. It had been almost impossible to push down his disappointment, he hadn't even been able to look at Alina as he said to her the compliment he had practiced all day to make to you.

Meanwhile, you had been making your escape.

He cursed the saints and himself, he should have seen it coming, the signs had all been there, you had been pulling away from him for months. You had abandoned his quarters, stopped wearing his colours, stopped going riding with him, avoided him at the halls of the palace, regarded him coldly at the dinning room, even when he started making an effort to show up to dinner almost every night, just to spend a few minutes with you.

And like a fool, he had believe you, time and time again, when you had reassured him after every new public rejection of your relationship that it meant nothing, that you loved him, that it was all to help him in his plan to woo the sun summoner and get her to fall for him.

Yet now you were gone, and he couldn't understand-

You couldn't have believed he actually loved Alina, could you? How, when you could hear his breath hitch every time he laid eyes on you, when you could feel his heart making summersaults inside his chest every time you touched him? And he wasn't quite sure how, but he knew you had to be able to see the sparks flying behind his eyelids every time he kissed you, the fireworks every time he made love to you, coming undone for you every time you called him yours, every time you repeated the single word vow that had tied your fates together almost a century ago: Forever.

No, you couldn't have left him.

He went through your closet, your vanity, your desk... He was right, something wasn't adding up: You had taken your jewels, but had left a whole bag of gold coins right there, had left your keftka but taken your equally easily identifiable cape, had left your signet ring but taken your silver and iridium wedding armband.

He could have hit his forehead with his palm, if the gesture hadn't been so completely undignified: Of course! It was so simple! The coins would have been untraceable, but the jewels would leave a trace, a very expensive trail of breadcrumbs for him to follow. And you might not be wearing your keftka, but your midnight coloured cape was still so eye catching, so conspicuous, so obviously grisha. And there were only two grishas in the whole of Ravka allowed to wear that colour.

You may had run, but you wanted him to follow, you wanted him to find you-

His epiphany was rudely interrupted by Ivan and Fedyor, dragging a bruised Oprichnik into the room and throwing her unceremoniously at his feet.

"What is the meaning of this?" He demanded. It was Fedyor the one to step up this time.

"Sir, she was found unconscious in the palace grounds, claims to have had a confrontation with Commander Y/L/N. Apparently, she was the last to see her"

It was as if a switch had been turn, and suddenly Aleksander was all general again, glaring at the blonde soldier on the floor down his nose.

"I find this hard to believe" He said, "if you had truly faced the commander, you wouldn't be alive"

"I know, moi sovereiny" She muttered, not daring to meet his eyes, "She said she only let me live because she had a message she needed me to deliver to you"

"Did she, now?" He quirked an eyebrow, suddenly feeling much more relaxed than he had been only two minutes ago. It was much more easier to find your dramatic antics amusing, now that understanding had replaced fear and desperation "And what message do you have for me, corporal?"

Olga fidgeted on the floor, unable to meet his gaze, muttering some incomprehensible gibberish under her breath.

"I'm sorry" The general's voice was dangerously soft, "I didn't quite catch that..."

"She said to tell you "I told you so"" Olga repeated more firmly, clearly wishing to have any other words to say to him than those, undoubtedly afraid she was going to be the one punished for your insolence.

But Aleksander only rolled his eyes in exasperation. He didn't need any further explanation, he had had the very same argument with you for months, with you taking every chance you got to tell him how idiotic his masterplan was, and how it would spectacularly blow up in his face sooner rather than later.

He internally counted to ten, mustering all of his patience I order not to kill the messenger, before exhaling,

"Anything else?"

Olga hesitated. Ivan pushed her with his foot, Aleksander making a mental note to have a talk about encouraging methods with him later.

"She also said to tell you that, luckily for all of us, she always has a plan B..."

Aleksander had to smile at that. Of course, that was what you were doing, he didn't know why he was even surprised. There was a reason you were his second in command, after all, you weren't only a beautiful face or one of the most powerful grisha he had ever met: you were also a formidable strategist, often a step ahead even of him.

All of at once, it was made clear to him exactly what you had been doing all these months of putting distance between them in public, and now running away on the very same night the sun summoner had disappeared, which coincidentally happened to be the same night the tracker had showed up with information about Morozova's stag...

He realized with a start that he knew exactly where you and Alina were heading.

"Ivan," He ordered the faithful heartrender, "Select a handful of our best grisha for a secret mission and prepare my carriage, we are leaving at dawn. Oh! And get David, he's coming with us"

"Kostyk, sir?" Ivan frowned in confusion, what could the shy durast possibly be doing in a mission?

"Yes, we will be needing a fabrikator" Aleksander declared for all explanation, "and make sure he wears his winter keftka. We are going to Tsibeya"

567 notes • Posted 2021-08-07 03:16:07 GMT

#3

"On the balcony"

Tom Hiddleston x Reader

NSFW

Warnings: Smut, semi-public sex.

"You're perfect, and everything in between

Keep moaning, 'cause we're making a scene

Keep going, until they tell us to leave"

Notice me - Role Model

"Oh, god…"

"Shhh" His hot breath on the back of your thighs sent shivers down your spine, "You have to be very quiet, princess. Can you do that for daddy?" 

You nodded your head, not realizing he wouldn't be able to see it. You were too far gone to use words anyway, too drunk on the heady cocktail of adrenaline and desire, too drunk on him.

On his big, calloused hands trailing caresses up and down your naked legs, slipping under your dress, pushing it up and up, over your ass, bunching it at your waist. On his lips, his teeth, kissing, sucking, and nibbling at the pliant flesh of your cheeks. 

On his wicked tongue, wet and hot even through the lace of your gossamer-thin underwear, that you had picked out just for him, and now he was taking great pleasure in ruining.

"Tom…"

Your soft sigh was almost imperceptible, you couldn't even hear it over the pounding of your own heart inside your chest. But of course he heard it. His tongue left you, but you didn't have time to complain before one of his long, dexterous fingers tugged your underwear to the side, toying briefly with your clit only to ghost over your entrance a second later, teasing you but never penetrating you. 

He felt your sharp inhale, no doubt about to whine or complain, but you caught yourself in time. It was worth it, if only to feel his lips trail kisses up your naked back as he stood up to tower over you. 

"Very good, baby" He breathed, husky, against your ear as you managed to keep perfectly still while he buried two fingers as far as they would go into your soft, velvety heat. "Just like that… nice and quiet. Prove to me that you can be a good girl taking my fingers in silent, and maybe… maybe I'll let you have my cock" 

It was an empty threat, you knew that by now. If you were to break and moan, whine, or even cry out, he would just slap his hand over your lips, muffling the sounds as he bent you over the railing, fucking you hard and fast in punishment. Good girl or not, there was no way you were leaving that balcony without christening it the same way you had done every other room, piece of furniture or surface, horizontal or otherwise, in that, your new house. Your safe haven. Your sanctuary. The little piece of paradise he had built just for the two of you. 

No, you knew he would never follow through, but that wasn't the point. The point was that you liked the praise. You liked being his princess, his angel, his good girl, as he did bad bad things to you. And Tom was quite aware of that. He loved seeing you bending over backwards to please him, to cater to his every whim, to obey his every arbitrary rule as he made it increasingly impossible for you. 

It was absolutely perfect, you were absolutely perfect. 

"Yeah… Just like that… such an obedient little thing…" Tom savored the effect his words had on you, your walls delicate squeezing his big fingers, the new wave of wetness falling on his palm like sweet ambrosia, like candy; you tasted just as sweet. A part of him wanted to keep playing with you, to drive you crazy, torture you until you begged for him to take you, debase you in the filthiest, lowest of ways you could think of.

But another, more powerful part, hungered for you, needed you even more than you wanted him. It had for the whole night, ever since you stepped into the garden in that shimmery, backless blue dress, designed with the sole purpose of testing his sanity. 

So far, it was a losing battle. 

The cacophony of music and party sounds downstairs drowned the sound of his zipper and belt buckle being undone, so you didn't realize what was happening until he was sliding his thick cock inside you in one long, slow and controlled stroke. 

"Fuck," your boyfriend broke his own rule, cursing out loud as he bottomed out, "you feel so good… being inside you is pure heaven" 

Understatement of the decade. There was a hunger, an ache in him whenever he was as much as six feet away from him. A heartbreaking longing that could only be fixed by having you like that, in his arms and all around him.

"You feel-ah… You feel amazing too" 

You could practically hear the smile in his voice as he started moving, unhurriedly but harsh. Deep and measured.

"Really now?" 

A sigh was the only reply you could munster, eyelids falling shut by their own accord, head falling back in pleasure.

"No no." He tsked, "Don't close your eyes… look at them" 

You did as he said, trying your best to focus on the housewarming party still going strong in the garden. On your family and friends, blissfully ignorant of what was going on above their heads. 

"All it would take is for just one of them to look up…"

There was no disguising the shiver that shook your body from head to toe at his words. You felt his dark chuckle against your back,

"Oh, but you would like that, wouldn't you? Them seeing us… I would like too," he confessed, "you look positively stunning when I fuck you"

He licked your ear, from lobe to top, and you swore you tasted blood, from how hard you were biting your lip.

"And no one… absolutely not anyone, can fuck you like I do, can they?" 

You shook your head. But he wanted more.

"Use your words, angel"

It was a trap. Of course it was, cause as soon as you opened your mouth, you felt his fingers dig into your hips for leverage, as he started thrusting brutally, his cock splitting you open in the best of ways. Your lips parted in a silent scream.

"I asked you… a question… princess" Tom demanded, punctuating every word with a hard, almost cruel stroke.

"Ah… yes…" you gasped, "yes, daddy. No one… never…" 

"Look at you, so obedient" He praised, "I think you deserve a reward… you deserve daddy's come"

"Oh god, yes" You almost came right there and then, your walls fluttering uncontrollably around his thick shaft, almost driving him to a climax of his own. 

"Ask me nicely, then" he commanded, his movements becoming erratic, "ask daddy nicely to fill you with his come…"

"Please, daddy, fill me with your come" You half murmured, half whined, not even concerned about the volume of your voice anymore. You needed it, you were so close, you could almost taste your release. And you wanted him to come undone with you.

"Take my come, princess… and come with me" 

You did, burying your screams against his palm, just as he buried his against your shoulder, no doubt leaving a mark. 

Tom pulled out of you, fixing your dress before taking into his arms, stepping inside the room, so you both could collapse on the king size bed.

"That was…"

"Absolutely amazing" he finished, once he could catch enough breath to talk again, "just like you, my angel" he brought your hand to his lips, placing sweet, reverent kisses on each of your knuckles.

"No. Just like you… Tom, you're a dream come true"

His replying simile was nothing short of breathtaking. It never failed to marvel him, the fact that you loved him back. The fact that you were his, such a wild and free creature surely ought to be elusive. But you had willingly let yourself be caught by him, and far from feeling trapped, you had actually liberated him. It wasn't the first time you had done something like that: You had let him fuck you on the back of a limousine, finger you under the table at the Met gala, sneaked your hand down his pants on the dancefloor… The list went on and on. 

He felt even more free with you than when he was a bachelor. 

For so long he had run away from commitment, from love. Now all he wanted was everybody to know he was yours and yours alone. 

Just like you were his.

"We should probably get back to the party before they start wondering where we disappeared to…" 

This time, he was the one letting out a bratty whine,

"I know… I don't want to, but I know"

"Do you think anyone saw us?"

Your boyfriend shook his head,

"The balcony is too dark, and the music is too loud, so I honestly doubt it" 

You breathed out in relief.

"Ok. Let me just grab a jacket and we'll go downstairs"

Tom frowned,

"Why? It's a very hot night… are you feeling alright?"

"I am, don't worry" his concern made you smile, "It's just someone left a hickey on my shoulder…" 

Far from looking guilty, a mischievous glint illuminated Tom's icy blues.

"Don't cover it" It wasn't a request. You were ashamed at the weakness of your knees in response to his dominant tone: he had just fucked you, you couldn't possibly be horny again. He was turning you into a nymphomaniac.

"No?"

"No" He confirmed. They might not have seen him taking you, right there under (or above) their very noses…

But they sure as hell would know what you just did. 

891 notes • Posted 2021-02-17 20:46:52 GMT

#2

Am I too late for the birthday blurbs? I just wanted to ask for something angsty or maybe smuty or both with season 2 Billy and Reader, where she knows he is evil but can't help to still feel attracted to him? Thank you so much in advance

This got completely out of control, and I'm sorry it took this long but I just couldn't make this story shorter or let it go.

The author regrets NOTHING.

"Hopeless romantic"

Billy Russo x Reader

NSFW

Warnings: Smut, knife play, gun play (mention), bondage, dub-con, creampie, kidnapping.

MY MASTERLIST | BUY ME A COFFEE

"Cause I'm a hopeless romantic

When I should run for my life

Honey, I don't understand it

'Cause it's magic, but it's tragic

I know you're gonna eat me alive"

"Hopeless romantic" - Michelle Branch

The scream died in your throat even before his hand came up against your mouth to drown it, the crisp, expensive smell of his cologne giving away the identity of the intruder inside your darkened apartment even before he spoke.

"Shhh baby girl" Billy Russo breathed hot against your ear, "it's just me…"

"Yeah, that is exactly why I should scream" you countered, yet your voice was barely above a whisper. Yet you did nothing to step away from his embrace, even as his knife left your neck to toy with the straps of your flowery dress, the same one Maria had gifted you, all those years ago. 

The arm around your waist tightened, pressing you against Billy's front, so you could clearly feel his need, hard as nails, against your lower back. You bit your lip to keep the moan inside.

"Aw, I promise you baby," he cooed, puncturing his words with a long, filthy lick along the side of your neck, "before this is over, I will make you scream"

This time, there was no disguising the wanton sound that escaped your throat, right before Billy dug his fingertips on your jaw, forcing your head back to crush his mouth to yours in a bruising kiss, all teeth and tongue and hunger. He bit down hard on your lip when you failed to kiss back fast enough.

"Don't be a brat" He warned you as you shook your head, trying to clear it, to break out of his spell.

"You shouldn't be here, Billy" You breathed out, praying your words would come out steadier than you felt, "The police sent another alert for you. They think you killed that doctor, the pretty one…" 

You felt him stiffen at your back, felt the tip of his knife poke at your soft flesh where the shoulder meets the neck. 

"And you want to know if it's true?" He spat, "Is that what you're asking?" 

"Billy…"

His blade snapped the strap of your dress, the hand around your waist travelling up to cop your newly exposed breast. 

"They're right. I did it." He rasped, flickering your nipple, sending sparks of electricity straight down your spine, "She told me I had to let you go, so I pushed her out the window"

His tone was laconic, and you couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or telling the truth. What was worse, you didn't care. He was a murderer, and a traitor. He was a sociopath without even a recollection of his own crimes. He was a ticking time bomb. You should have been fighting him, should be pushing him away, should be running for your life.

You should be calling Frank.

Instead, you leaned back into him, let him rut against you, let him bury his nose in your hair, relished in the erratic little puffs of air caressing your nape. 

"I can't do that" he confessed, brokenly, between pants, "Can't stay away from you, can't let you go…"

His words rang true. It was something you had wondered about, what with Madani and Frank and the fucking FBI hot in his heels, why he kept coming back to you. Well, now you knew: he was just as doomed as you, had sealed both your fates the night he had chosen to fuck you instead of killing you. 

"I was always crazy about you, did you know that?" He had told you, pacing back and forth, eyes frantic, bright with unshed tears, and you had suspected he wasn't seeing you, that his mind was conjuring up some scene from the past inside his head, bringing it back to life as he spoke, "You would hug me goodbye, and all I could think about was your hot body against me. Wanted to push you up against the nearest wall and kiss you, touch you, bury myself between your pretty legs… All you had to do was walk into the room and I was hard for you. At the bar with Curtis, at the park with the Castles. Even once at the Zoo!" He had barked a dark, humorless laugh.

"I always held back, though. Do you know why?"

You had shaken your head no, not trusting your voice, embarrassed at yourself, at the effect his words were having on you while he was pointing a gun at your face.

"Because Frank and Curtis always told me you were off limits. But now, after this?" He had gestured at the constellation of scars marring his still painfully handsome face, "I don't think I owe them my loyalty anymore… do you?"

That night, he had rubbed the cold barrel of his loaded Beretta against your slit until you came, twice. 

The scrap of teeth against your skin brought you back to the present, to Billy's calloused fingers trailing up your leg, slipping under your skirt. You pressed your knees together, closing your thighs in a feeble attempt to halt his hand that even to you felt half hearted. He simply kicked your knees open, his leg between yours stopping you from closing them again, then he took his time savouring his victory, blunt nails softly scraping at the delicate skin of your inner thigh, up and up, until he reached his goal.

"Is this the secret you were trying to keep from me?" You could practically hear Billy's smirk in his voice, as a single digit skimmed the damp patch on your underwear, "how wet I make you?"

"Bill-"

The flat of his knife pressed against your nipple, a warning, making you gasp.

"Don't ever try to hide from me again" You felt his finger slide under your simple cotton panties, "understood?"

You nodded, submissively, as he teased you, fingertip circling your clit, tracing your slit, but never going in, never remaining in the same place to bring you anything else than the most transpicuous shadow of pleasure. 

"Good girl" Billy rewarded you by sinking one of his fingers inside you, massaging your sensitive walls on his way in and out, until you sagged boneless into his arms. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you look when you surrender to me?" 

He chuckled at your whine, perfectly aware that, as talented as his fingers were, one alone was not enough to bring you the satisfaction you craved. But that was not his goal tonight. No, tonight, Billy was out for blood. 

"What is it, baby?" He purred, "Do you need something?" 

"More" You breathed out, "need more" 

His blade was under your other strap now, his forearm a vice across your chest, keeping you trapped as the heel of his hand crushed your clit with enough force to make you cry out. You felt the strap snap, cool night air kissing your nipple.

"Ride my hand" Billy commanded, finally, finally slipping a second finger inside you, "and beg"

Bastard. 

He loved pushing your buttons, obliterating your patience, your pride and your dignity. 

It was liberating. 

You started moving your hips, almost losing your balance as the arm supporting you abandoned your chest and Billy tilted forward to bunch your skirt at your waist with the hand still holding the damned knife, to get a clear view of your pelvis, of your small thrusts, of his fingers disappearing time and time again inside your delicious little pussy. 

It was the most erotic thing he had ever witnessed, and he had seen plenty of obscene things in his life. 

Billy's chin was poking almost painfully at your shoulder, and you didn't need to open your eyes to know he was watching attentively. He always watched, with such a wonder in his eyes, a hunger in those beautiful onix eyes, that made it hard to feel self-conscious, the ever present voice of insecurity at the back of your head instantly silenced by the naked desire in his gaze. You had never felt more wanted in your life, than when you were with Billy. 

And his praises certainly didn't hurt.

"Fuck, so fucking gorgeous, riding my hand…"

"Billy… please…"

"There she is" He muttered, almost to himself, "you beg so pretty, my obedient girl…" 

Oh, it was bad, the way you shivered whenever he called you his. It shouldn't affect you the way it did, you shouldn't want it… but you did. And you couldn't hide it from him, your body was a traitor, your reactions impossible to contain.

If you only knew the trouble that would get you, you would have tried harder to conceal them. 

But he could read your body like a magazine, knew the exact moment when to withdraw his fingers, just a second before you started clenching on them, the precise instant before you came, too early for you to tumble over the edge but too late for you to be able to come down. 

He knew just how to leave you aching for it.

"I love seeing you like this, my little bird, completely at my mercy. You'd take anything I'd give you, do anything I'd say right now, wouldn't you?" 

You gulped. You shouldn't. You shouldn't.

You felt his quiet laugh against your nape.

"Oh yeah," he decided, "you would…"

The room spun and the floor was swept from under your feet, in two movements, Billy had you sprawled on your couch, head on the pillows, legs dangling from the arm rest. It wasn't the most comfortable of positions but you had no time to complain as Billy made quick work of your dress, his sharp blade ripping easily through the light fabric.

"I always dreamed about ripping this dress off you" He mustered, soft voice at odds with the almost feral look in his eyes. The sane part of your brain screamed danger. And it had little to do with the fact that the man hovering above you, caressing your skin with a hunting knife, was a killer. It went well beyond that. This was a different kind of danger, the slope of his cheekbones a different type of treacherous, the taste of his kiss a hazard to your heart, the weight of his body on yours a threat to your sanity. 

Billy was wild and unpredictable and entirely too beautiful, the perfect predator, one you didn't even want to escape. You were powerless, the mesmerized hare in the maw of the wolfhound. 

He was going to eat you alive.

"I wanna do something now, princess, something you will like" He hurried to add at your alarmed expression: It wasn't like Billy to give you a warning, "but I need you to stay very very still, can you do that for me?" 

"I… Billy, what-"

"Wrong answer, baby" He produced something from his back pocket, your pleasure ridden mind too slow to process what he was doing until the plastic zip tie was securing your wrists together. 

"No rope today?" You raised an eyebrow. Billy smiled,

"No, not today. Not for this" His kissed you then, stealing your breath and your thought process, not letting you go until he felt you melt into him again, pliant and docile just like he liked you. 

"Now baby, if you bring your hands down" He warned, pointing at where your hands were laying on the pillow above your head, "if you buck your hips, or try to close your legs, I will tie your ankles too, understood?" He waited until you nodded your understanding, blandishing his knife in front of your face, before dealing with your underwear in a single, quick slice, throwing the scraps away from your body. His blade glimed as he parted your knees, settling between your legs, raining chaste, butterfly kisses into your inner thigh, fingertips opening you up to him. You felt your own moisture seeping out, staining his fingers, and he groaned at the sight. 

"Fuck, look at you princess, you're dripping" He nuzzled at your clit, placing a teasing kitten lick on it, and then blowing cool air on it. You had to fight the urge to tilt your hips up in demand. Billy was a cruel man, establishing ridiculous rules and then pushing you anyway he could into breaking them. 

One of his long, dexterous digits massaged your entrance, still not going in.

"Please…" 

"Feeling empty, princess?" He mocked, "This pretty pussy needs to be filled?" 

"Yes, please" You begged.

"Well, you only needed to ask…" 

You startled at the unfamiliar feeling of something cold and hard against your entrance. 

"Shhhhh, baby girl" Billy soothed, eyes never leaving the place where he was sinking the handle of his knife inside your tight heat, "stay very still…" 

You bit your lip, trying to relax your muscles, opening your legs a little wider for him. 

"That's it… good girl…" He pushed the handle an inch deeper, a moan escaping your throat. It felt… soft. Harder and coarser than your silicone vibrator, but not unpleasantly so. 

Oh, no, it was very much pleasant, you decided, as Billy started rocking it in and out, burying it a little deeper with every movement, the ridges in the handle stroking your insides just right. 

"Should I make you come like this?" He inquired, never stopping the careful, deliberate strokes, "Think you can hold still as I make you come on my knife?" 

You shook your head no, you were having trouble remaining immobile as it was, desperate with the need to move and twist and convulse as he angled the handle to grace the perfect, sweet spot no one else had ever been able to find, yet Billy had seemed to master from the very beginning. 

"No? Need a little help for that?" He splayed one of his hands against your abdomen, huge palm pushing down almost painfully, easily keeping your hips pinned down. "Open wider, baby" 

You did as you were told, spreading your legs for him as far as they would go, as he picked up the pace, a hungry, almost angry look in his face as he brought you closer and closer to your peak. 

"That's it… fucking come for me, princess"

Your orgasm was still crashing over you when you heard the metallic clank of the Ka-Bar being tossed away from you, and felt Billy sink into you to the hilt in one hard, unforgiving movement. He didn't give you time to adjust or come down from your high before he started thrusting hard and fast, loving the resistance he felt from your body. 

"Fuck! So tight, clenching around my cock…"

"B-Billy…" You cried, but he didn't relent, instead covering you with his body, trapping you under him as his hips kept snapping against yours punishingly, bare skin against bare skin, and when had he taken out his t-shirt?

"No, baby, there's no escape" He spoke against your throat, punctuating his words with a harsh bite, "You're gonna take it… you're gonna take it all" 

You nodded, even as tears started to leak from your eyes, even as you struggled feebly against him, because the truth was you loved it. You love the pressure against your wrists, holding you in place, the bruise of his sharp hipbones hitting your inner thighs, you loved the overstimulation as Billy extracted every last drop of pleasured pain from your body.  

He sneaked a hand between your bodies, right under your navel.

"Fuck, baby" He moaned, "I can feel my cock moving inside you…" 

Somewhere in the part of your brain that was still somewhat capable of thought, you were not shocked. You could feel it too, overstretched, like he was breaking you in half. 

"Taking me so good… best pussy I ever felt… you were born for this, born to take my cock so deep" 

You trashed at his words, feeling another peak starting to build, high, so high you were terrified of the fall. 

Because you knew it would shatter you. 

His hand creeped lower, wicked thumb rubbing, unmerciful, at your oversensitive clit. 

Your hips bucked of their own accord, trying to dislodge him, leg instinctively trying to kick him off. Billy's other hand left your tied hands to press against your throat, warningly. 

"You're gonna come for me again, princess. Whether you like it or not." 

You liked it. Heavens help you, how you liked it. 

"And then, when your shaking and screaming my name, screaming for mercy…" His thrust were speeding up, becoming erratic, his ferric control finally breaking, "I'm going to come inside you… fill you up with my come… until you're dripping with it. Do you know why, princess?"

You really hoped it was a retorical question, you were far too delirious, too cock drunk too form words. 

He licked into your open mouth,

"Because you're mine" 

Something inside you cracked, the pressure too much for the fault line as you felt it snap, the earthquake shaking you to the very bones. Billy cursed, hips raming into you once, twice, three times before he buried his cock into your cunt as far as it would go, grunting as he spent himself inside you just as he had promised. 

You must have blacked out for a minute, because when you came back into, Billy was onto you again, holding your trembling legs over his shoulders, licking you clean, each swipe if his tongue sending aftershocks through your ravaged, aching body. 

"Billy, please," Your voice was wrecked, you probably had been screaming without noticing, "no more" 

For a second, you were afraid he wasn't going to listen, but then he showed you mercy, crawling up your body, even as two of his fingers sunk into you, collecting your juices, making you whimper. 

"Open up, baby" He commanded, tracing your bottom lip with his fingertips. You obeyed, letting him sink his digits inside your mouth, wiping them clean on your tongue, "See how delicious we taste together?" 

You hummed your reply, unable to do much more. He seemed pleased enough with it anyway, if the way he gathered you in his arms, cradling you into his chest was anything to go by. You remained like that for a bit, catching your breaths, letting heartbeats return to normal, until Billy sighed, depositing you back on the pillows of your couch as he disappeared inside your apartment, your eyes gazing appreciatively the way his back muscles shifted and rippled as he walked. 

Sitting up, you rolled your shoulders, trying to get rid of the stiffness of having your hands above your head for so long. There was a forgotten water bottle on your coffee table that you managed to uncap with some effort to take a few gulps as Billy returned holding a wet towel and what you expected to be your nightgown, but frowned as you realized it was a sundress. 

You offered your tied hands to Billy so he could cut the zip, but he ignored you, focusing instead on cleaning you up with soft, careful touches. 

"What's that for?" You asked, gesturing at the dress, breaking the silence and the tension that seemed to had fallen between you. There was a shift in Billy, a squaring of his shoulders, a change in demeanor.

Some door shut behind his eyes.

"You were right" He declared, kneeling in front of you, eyes capturing yours, "I can't keep doing this, sooner or later someone, probably Frank, is going to notice…"

And unleash hell on both your heads. You knew this, knew whatever… this was with Billy had to come to an end at some point. 

That didn't mean it didn't hurt to hear it.

"I have a way out of the country, had for a while" He went on, "have a fat bank account offshore, a nice beach house, the works. Everything has been ready for months…" 

"Then why didn't you?" You prodded, "leave, I mean"

It was reaching, pathetically grasping at straws, you realized. But you had to know, if he felt anything about you, whatever that might be, you needed to hear him say it. You had ruined yourself, time and time again, slept with a traitor, with the man that had torn your makeshift family apart. If this was the last time you saw him, you needed him to say it. 

"Because I wanted to win" He replied, simply, "I want it all. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I want it all: I want the money and I want the girl" 

You stared, taken aback. That certainly wasn't the answer you were expecting.

"What do you mean, Billy?" You held your breath, having a feeling you already knew.

"I want you to come with me, Y/N" 

You wanted to.

You wanted to laugh in relief, you wanted to cry, you wanted to crush your lips to his, cause this was so much more than you had ever dared to hope, you wanted to say yes, let him sweep you off your feet and run away with him into the sunset. You wanted to.

You couldn't.

You thought of Frank, holed up in that trailer, trying so hard to protect that girl he had found, even though looking at her pained him everytime, because he couldn't help but see Lisa in her. Trying so hard to protect this kid cause he had failed to protect his own… You thought of Curt, sleeping with a gun under his pillow, letting the woman he was in love with slip through his fingers cause he wasn't willing to endanger her, to bring her into this war, the war they were fighting against the man currently kneeling in front of you.

You started shaking your head,

"Bill, I can't. Frank and Curtis… they're my brothers, the only family I have left, the only family we have left. I can't do that to them" Every word out of your mouth broke your own heart a little bit more, but you refused to yield, "I won't do that to them"

Billy's hand came up to cup your face, fingertips brushing your jaw. Foolishly, you leaned into his touch.

"Y/N, my love…" His grip turned iron like, forcing your head in place, "I wasn't asking" He sneered, his other hand, the one he had kept carefully out of sight without you even noticing, coming up, striking your neck, quick as a rattlesnake. You felt the sting of the needle, understanding dawning on you way too late.

Bastard.

Billy's cold-eyed grin was the last thing you saw before the world faded to black...

To be continued...

909 notes • Posted 2021-07-26 22:20:21 GMT

#1

Aleksander was afraid you were killed in combat but finds out you are fine and storms the tent where they have you recovering ✋🏼🥺

"Just Mortal”

MY MASTERLIST | BUY ME A COFFEE

"WHERE IS SHE?"

"Moi soverennyi! You can't walk in her-" A single stormy stare stopped the young healer in her tracks, shadows swimming inside the obsidian orbs of the black general, threatening her to dare telling him what he could and couldn't do again.

She didn't dare.

"I saw her fall, I know she was brought here" She didn't need to ask who he was referring to, she knew. They all knew. "So don't make me ask again"

Despite his composed tone, she could feel the undercurrent of desperation in his voice, feel his barely restrained fear, his pain, and something else, something deep and unfathomable, something not unlike devotion, greater than any flimsy imitation of love she could ever have felt of her own. Every grisha was connected and drawn to the Darkling, that was something the destruction of the fold, the rise of the soldat sol and the disappearance of the man himself could not change. She was loyal to the dragon queen, had been trained by her under the triumvirate, too young to remember the times the Black General had been a mentor to all grisha at the little palace, but in that moment, she knew she would have done anything he asked of her, and she would have done so gladly.

But stronger than his compulsion power, was the power of friendship, of family. Because that's what you were to her. Padruga. Sestra. A fellow Corporalki, even if you were the strongest of them all, the only one powerful enough to put the starless sain back together after decades (or centuries if she was to believe the rumors saying time passed differently in the void) of torture inside the thorn wood tree. And not only his body, but also the jagged fragments of his shattered mind.

Even his very soul.

Koroleva serdets, they called you, in whispers. The Queen of Hearts, the only one capable to soothe the Shadow King's pain.

Either way, there was no choice to be made. She balled inside her fist the note she had intended to send to the queen back in Os Alta. That night, it would feed the fire outside the grisha pavilion.

Zoya of the lost city might be the queen of Ravka, but out there, in the battle front, the second army had one king and one king only.

The girl bowed her head, and with a simple wave of her hand, the sea of red keftkas inside the medical tent parted in two.

That's when he saw you, pale and fragile looking on the cot they had placed you in, your own keftka draped over you like a blanket. Two, three long strides later and he was on you, grasping at your cold hand, the familiar surge of power blossoming at the contact, waking you up.

All the air inside his lungs left him in a relieved sigh as your pretty eyes fluttered open, brow furrowed in confusion for a few seconds until you seemed to get your bearings.

"Aleksander" You breathed out his name, and he almost broke right then and there, audience be damned.

You tried to sit up, but were still too weak to manage it by yourself, so he helped you.

"I'm sorry" He apologized hurriedly, "I should've bee here sooner, but I saw you go down and..." He didn't need to finish that sentence, you knew. Could picture it as if you were there: Whole battalions of enemy armies leveled, as far as the eye could reach, maybe even further, sliced cleanly in half by his cut.

A shiver ran down your spine and even if it wasn't because of the cold, you graciously accepted the wool shawl that Mila, the head healer, wrapped around your shoulders.

"Oh, Aleksander..." Your hand reached out for his face of it's own accord, cupping his cheek. He covered it completely with his much bigger one, keeping it there. Mila was polite enough to advert her eyes at the intimate display of affection, trying her best to give them some semblance of privacy.

"I will kill them all" He was all Darkling as he vowed, "I will annihilate every last one of them. No one shall dare to hurt you again."

"Sasha, I'm not hurt"

"Don't lie to me," He growled, "Not to protect them. They don't deserve your mercy, milaya. I saw you fall off your horse, under a hail of bullets"

"Sebastian was already slowing them down" You explained, referring to that squaller friend of yours, the one that always ran into battle (and into every little scheme your mischievous little brain seemed to concoct with the sole purpose of driving him crazy) by your side, "they never hit us harder than pebbles"

"Then why did you fall?" He inquired, sceptical, "And furthermore, why are you still here, surrounded by every healer and heartrender in your garrison?"

This time, it was Mila the one to reply,

"We are here for their protection. Healers to take care of them, and I must admit, a little bit out of medical curiosity. And the heartrenders seemed to have appointed themselves as their personal guard..."

Aleksander frowned in confusion,

"Their?"

"There are two heartbeats, sir"

You watched in amusement as the terrible, intimidating black general's jaw fell slack, midnight eyes big as platoons.

"I fell because I fainted. I didn't know, I swear, otherwise I wouldn't have fought today. I would nev-"

He cut you off with his lips on yours in a kiss far more passionate than was tasteful for a public display of affection, but neither of you cared. Someone in the background cleared their throat, but it only succeed in making Aleksander deepen the kiss even more, enveloping you in his arms and under his cape, as if wanting to hide you from the rest of the world, keep you only to himself.

And that was exactly what he wanted, even though he knew in practical terms it was impossible. But that word was losing his meaning more and more every minute he spent with you, wasn't it? He had thought impossible for him to survive the thorn wood tree, impossible to love again after the sunlight was stolen from him, had thought Alina was his only equal. But here you were, the mender of every fibre of his heart, literally and figuratively, a star of hope sparking up the long dark night of his existence. Hope because the mere fact that you had been able to conceive his child after over half a century of loneliness was a testament of you at least having the potential to be like him. And unlike Lizabeta, he actually loved you. And unlike Alina, you actually loved him back. And maybe he hadn't been wrong, maybe fate was real, cause he could feel you holding his in your dainty mortal hands.

What a capricious creature, fate was. Another healer, just mortal, just like Luda. Just like the cause of his greatest sin... And now, another healer was the bringer of his absolution.

Just mortal... He would fix that.

"I'll get you an amplifier. The most powerful of them all" He promised, when he finally released your lips, forehead resting against yours, "A Firebird, or a dragon-"

"You are not killing our queen just to get me an amplifier" You chuckled. But despite the joking tone of your words, Mila could see the speculative looks amongst the heartrenders. They had always been the most loyal to the Darkling.

But Aleksander chuckled too,

"Wouldn't dream of it. I make saints, milaya, I don't murder them" He was surprised by how true the words ringed in his ears. No, Sankta Soya could keep her throne, he was going to be too busy with his new family to run a kingdom anyway.

No, he had something far stronger in mind...

But, in the meantime,

"How many people know of this?" His voiced resonated through the tent with authority, and even though his eyes never left you, Mila knew he was talking to her.

"Only the people in this tent" They could keep the pregnancy hidden from the etheralki and the soldiers, but an extra heartbeat was a little hard to keep from a corporalki.

"Good, I want you and a female heartrender by her side at all times" That should help conceal the baby's heartbeat for a while, at least until you started to show, buy he hoped to have found the amplifier by then, "Spread word of her injury throughout the camp, and get my carriage ready, we'll head back to Os Alta for her recovery first thing in the morning."

In reality, he would procure an unremarkable, if fast, civilian carriage along with a handful of his most talented grisha and himself and you would be leaving for the palace before the night was over.

"Now, everybody out, I need a word alone with my fiancee"

That got you arching an eyebrow,

"Fiancee?"

Aleksander shrugged, affecting nonchalance,

"Marrying you was always the goal, I see no reason not to speed the plans now"

You rolled your eyes,

"Ever the romantic..."

Aleksander waited until he heard the last healer, Mila, leave the tent before softly pushing you back until you hit the thin mattress, immediately covering you with his body.

"I can be romantic for you, milaya. I can be anything for you" He proved it, placing delicate pecks on your forehead, your closed eyelids, the tip of your nose, your cheeks. They graduated to wet, open mouthed kisses as he rained them on your jawline, down your neck, your throat, right up to that spot above your pulse point that had you sighing, melting into him. "I can be your lover, your protector, your husband..."

"What about the king of my heart?" You breathed out, fingers tangling on his soft locks as his short beard scratched your collarbones, setting your skin on fire.

You felt his smile against your chest, hands on the sash that kept your chemise closed When had he gotten rid of your keftka?

"Yes," He promised, lips trailing down until they were set over your, still flat, stomach, "I can be that"

1159 notes • Posted 2021-06-22 16:56:03 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[princessphilly]

All Bets Are Off Chapter 12

Word Count: 

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Join the tag list here!

CW: smut, filthy talk

This is a bit of a filler chapter, sorry. 

“Are you going to miss me?”

Nina didn’t even look up from her iPad. It was so annoying yet adorable at the same time, how Sidney was desperately trying to get her to tell him how much she was going to miss him. 

“Um, I think you’re going to miss me more than I’ll miss you,” Nina finally replied. She grinned as Sidney huffed. 

The first month of the new year had passed by pretty quickly to Nina. After being together for New Year’s Eve, Nina and Sid separated as the Pens had to finish off their road trip. Nina stayed in Miami for Jason’s game before taking an extra week just for herself. It was nice to have a bit of a vacation, especially when Lauren flew down. Nina basically enjoyed being on the beach, hanging out with a close friend, and shopping. 

The morning of New Year’s Day, after having their first breakfast together of the new year, Sid had given Nina a card. Nina was shocked to see a credit card with her name on it and she had tried to give it back but Sid had insisted. “You don’t treat yourself enough, pretty girl,” he had firmly stated. So Nina took advantage of it to treat herself a bit. 

By the time she came back to Pittsburgh, Sidney’s road trip was over but Nina’s semester had started. They had a couple of weeks where they spent time together as much as possible before the Pens had another short road trip. Now, Sidney was on his way to the Olympics in Beijing for their longest separation so far.

Sidney finally had his bag packed the way that he liked it. Glancing at Nina laying on their, um, his bed, he drawled, “Are you sure you aren’t going to miss me?”

Nina looked up and giggled. “You hog the sheets, Sidney. And you’re like a furnace when you sleep.”

Sidney walked over to the bed, crouching over Nina. “Hurting my feelings right before I have to take a long flight. Tsk tsk.”

“Your flight leaves tomorrow. You’re just making sure you are totally prepared tonight. Stop being so dramatic, Sidney Crosby.”

Sidney smirked as he brushed a hand down Nina’s front. She was clothed, wearing one of his t-shirts. “Still, Nina. 

“Still, Sidney.”

Nina stuck out her tongue at Sidney as he giggle-honked. Sidney brushed an errant strand of hair off of Nina’s forehead as he whispered, “I wish you were coming.”

“It was too short of a notice to take almost three weeks off, Sid,” Nina murmured. “Plus, hasn’t it always just been your family attending the Olympics?”

“Yes?”

Nina smiled. “Then, I would be breaking your tradition and your superstitions-”

Sidney opened his mouth to disagree but Nina put a finger over it. “Don’t even start, we both know how important ALL of your superstitions are. Even if you wouldn’t say it, if you lose without a gold medal and I'm there, part of you would be wondering. So quit the bullshit, Sidney.”

Sidney gave Nina a chagrined smile as she laughed at him. She was right, as always.

“Sid, it’ll be fine. You’re lucky I’m a morning person, you can call me crazy early here and I’ll pick up,” Nina reasoned. 

Sidney pouted a bit. “I finally got you to actually date me, I don’t want to be separated from you for that long.”

“How cute, Mr. Obsessed-with-Hockey has become soft in his old age.”

Nina squealed when Sidney tickled her, squirming. “Okay, okay, you’re allowed to become soft!”

Sidney gave Nina a soft smile and she gulped. Something shifted in that look and Nina felt like there was something new. 

Sidney bit his lip as Nina nervously laughed. In that moment, the pure joy on Nina’s face as she squealed while he tickled her, Sidney was sure that he loved her. He loved Nina. But this was the wrong time to admit that. So he chuckled and said, “If I’m soft, it’s only because of you.”

Nina stuck out her tongue and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

Sidney chose not to respond to that statement, instead choosing to slide his lips over hers. Soft and sweet, exploratory as they kissed, not their usual hungry kisses. Then Nina wrapped a leg around Sidney’s waist and the mood changed. 

Nina ended the kiss first, whispering, “I can feel that someone is going to really miss me.”

“Going to miss you so much,” Sidney replied, grinding his hips into Nina’s core. “Let me show you.”

Nina gasped as Sidney sucked along her neck, just light enough not to leave any marks. “Gonna give you something to remember while I’m gone,” Sidney promised as his hands went under her shirt before pulling it off. 

Nina grinned before moaning as Sidney began to do exactly what he promised to do.

**

Sidney sighed as he sent the text. Everything was going great, even after a couple of hiccups in their first group stage games. This year, it was obvious to Sidney that this was going to be the last Olympics for him. Except for him, Tazer, Bergy, Tanger, Webs, Price, and Giroux, all of the other players on the team were under 30. Sidney saw his job as captain this year to not just get one more gold, but get the younger guys ready to take over. 

Right now, they were getting ready to play against Germany, their first game after the group stage, the real games. It was before pregame; the players whose families had come to Beijing were giving well-wishes. At this moment, Sidney wished Nina was here with him instead of home in Pittsburgh.

His phone pinged and Sidney relaxed when he saw the message: its midnight here. Good luck. Im g2g2 sleep. Bye

That message was quickly followed by another one: why the hell did they schedule yall for so fucking late? figured canada would be primetime here

Sidney laughed when he saw Nina’s message. Giroux looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Must be the elusive girlfriend.”

Giroux’s wife elbowed him, causing him to say ow. Sidney snickered; they may be teammates for Team Canada but their truce was still a fragile truce. Ryanne Giroux said, “I heard Nina’s very sweet and kind.”

“Oh?”

Sidney was suddenly very curious. Blithely, Ryanne replied, “You know as well as I do it’s a small league. People only have the kindest things to say about her.”

Relaxing a bit, Sidney grinned. “Nina’s pretty fucking amazing. I’m lucky she likes me.”

“Oh God, he’s talking about Nina again.”

Sidney’s grin turned into a smile as Tanger clasped him on the back. Tanger continued, “It took five years-”

“Five years,” Giroux asked as Sidney groaned. “Stop giving him chirp material.”

Ryanne snickered as Sidney’s phone pinged again; kris says ur bragging about me again?

“Really, Tanger, really?”

Kris laughed as Sidney narrowed his eyes. “Calm down, Sid.” 

Before Sidney could reply, Nina sent him another text: score a hat trick

Sidney gave his phone a soft smile. It was time to get focused for the game, so Sidney put his phone away as soon as he went back into the locker room.

**

Nina cracked an eye open. The time difference was a motherfucker; it was 5:45 am but 5:45pm. Yawning, Nina sat up in her bed as she accepted the call from Sid. 

“Nina, really?”

“Good morning to you,” Nina yawned. 

Sid slightly frowned. Nina was wearing a team USA t-shirt. Her shorts were blue. Even her sleep bonnet was blue. 

“I’m not Canadian, Sid.”

“Stilll-“

Nina smirked as she shook her head. “No, I’m not rooting for you. Score as many goals as you want, I’m Team USA.”

Sidney scowled as Nina laughed. “It’s not even like the US made the gold medal game!”

Nina was disappointed in Team USA. She was hoping they would make it to the gold medal game but they were going to go against Finland for Bronze. Tomorrow, at 8am Beijing Time, 8pm EST, Canada was going against Sweden for gold. 

“Still, you should be rooting for me.”

“I am,” Nina reasoned. “I want you to score all the goals. But, I just cannot root for Canada, yet.”

“Yet.”

Nina looked up to the ceiling before yawning again. Sidney was in a snit. She felt a tiny bit bad for Sweden because they were going to get it. But that wasn’t her problem. “Seriously, good luck, Sidney.”

“Thank you, Nina.”

Nina blew Sidney a kiss and he pretended to catch it. Then he licked his lips. “How many days did you take off when I get back?”

“Three, Sidney. Just three.”

Nina couldn’t help the rush of heat in her center when Sidney drawled, “I don’t plan to let you out of my house then.”

“Win the damn gold then,” Nina snapped. 

Sidney chuckled, saying, “You’re ready to go back to sleep then. Sweet dreams, Nina.”

“Bye, Sid.”

**

Nina looked down at her phone. There were three messages, long messages, all from Sid. She took in a deep, fortifying breath. Canada had one gold and Sidney had two goals. From the highlights, it seemed like Sidney was on a mission the whole game. Sighing, Nina pressed play on the first one. It was just a noisy celebration, nothing big until Sidney started talking. His talking was garbled at first and Nina laughed when she realized that he was drunk off his ass when he called her. 

The second voicemail started just as garbled, then Nina heard Sidney clearly say, “I’m so happy we won, I still wish you were here, you’re my new lucky charm, pretty girl. Fuck, I love you so much, pretty girl, you make everything better now that you’re mine.”

The next one was just sappy as the second, but Sidney was definitely somewhere quieter with this one. But he was also just as drunk, as he ended by saying, “I wanna fuck you when I get back, with you wearing my gold, pretty girl. This gold is almost as pretty as you.”

Nina ruefully laughed, already expecting apologetic texts from Sidney when he was sober. But for the rest of the day, the thought lingered in her mind, the idea that Sidney loved her. However, her patients kept Nina busy and she didn’t get a moment to really ruminate on that. Then, Nina went over to Karesha’s house to babysit her play nephew, AJ, as Karesha went out with her boyfriend. 

Within an hour of leaving, Karesha came back in, heated as she slammed the door. AJ commented, “He must have made Mom mad again.”

“AJ, please go upstairs and play with your Legos, Mommy needs to talk to Aunt Nina,” Karesha asked, trying hard to control her voice. 

AJ quickly ran up the stairs, loudly closing the door to his room. Karesha flopped on the couch, kicking off her expensive heels. “Fuck men.”

Nina got up and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses. Pour shots, she passed one to Karesha before sitting back down next to her friend. Karesha gratefully smiled before downing the shot. 

“I’m tired of this shit. I told him it was over through text. How dare he say he’s coming up to Pittsburgh before spring training and then text me after I get to the restaurant to say he’s not coming after all. I’m done. I can’t.”

Nina murmured sympathetically, “Fuck him.”

“I’m so glad I never brought him around AJ though,” Karesha stated. “He had the nerve to say I spent too much time with my kid when I told him it was over.”

Nina’s eyes widened at that statement. “What are you supposed to do? Parent him less?”

Thoughts about Sidney were forgotten as Nina consoled her friend. Deciding to sleep over, Nina woke up early in the morning on the couch, several texts from Sidney waiting for her. Nina quickly scanned over them, starting with a text telling Nina his flight was about to come in to the last one asking if everything was okay. Nina sent him a message: friend had a crisis, be over around 10

It was early, around 7am so Nina didn’t expect to get a response. But Sidney replied: everything ok?

As ok as it’s gonna be, don’t worry, Nina sent back before straightening up Karesha’s living room. She then slipped out, locking the door from the inside. 

**

“Gonna get you full with my cum, pretty girl. Fuck, look at you, your pussy already trying to milk my cum.”

Nina groaned as she watched Sid fuck her, claiming her. Her legs were over his shoulders, allowing Sidney to fuck her deep. “You missed me, pretty girl?”

“Uh huh,” Nina managed to say. He was fucking her so good, each stroke hitting her g-spot. It was like Sidney returned as a man on a mission. 

“I missed you. Dreamed of you every night, Nina,” Sidney rasped. 

“Mmmm.”

Nina no longer had words, she could feel her high coming. Then she felt Sidney’s fingers, just two fingers on her clit and it was enough to send her over the edge. Nina screamed, her nails digging into Sidney’s back. That was enough to get Sidney to reach his high as well, his grunts wordless as he came. 

Nina sighed as Sidney withdrew, already sad at feeling empty. Sidney sat back on his haunches, watching as his cum started to leak out of Nina’s pussy. “I’ll never get enough of seeing that,” he remarked as he played with Nina’s clit. “Just for me, pretty girl.”

Moaning, Nina closed her eyes. She was sensitive but she felt herself respond to Sidney’s fingers. Then his fingers were replaced with his tongue, his fingers fucking his cum deeper inside of her pussy and the time for rational thought was gone. 

**

Six weeks later

Nina sighed as she rifled through her bag for the keys to her apartment. Today was her thirty-first birthday and for some reason, she felt weird. ‘Maybe it’s because I’m now on the other side of thirty,’ Nina thought to herself. 

The morning began with happy birthday texts from friends, birthday calls from Mom and Dad, and a facetime call with Jason. Sidney had sent her a funny meme birthday text but nothing else. Nina knew she shouldn’t feel too bad; the Pens were trying to solidify their playoff spot in the division and her birthday, April 5, fell right at the end of the season. As she opened the door, Nina hoped that Sid would at least do something once the playoffs were over. At the same time, it felt weird that she wasn’t going out with her parents either.

Just her luck that for the first time she was in a relationship around her birthday, her boyfriend had reasons not to take her out. Nina sniffled as she turned on the light.

“SURPRISE!!”

Nina gasped as Sidney, Kris, Geno, Anna, Catherine, Taylor, Alex, Victoria, Mario, Nathalie, Guentzy, Tristan, Hannah, Karesha, AJ, Lauren, her mom and dad, and Aryanna jumped out. Eyes wide, Nina burst into tears. 

“Oh no, what’s wrong pretty girl,” Sidney replied, folding Nina into his arms. 

Nina sniffled as she cried, “I thought everyone forgot my birthday!”

“I told you she wasn’t going to take it well,” Karesha muttered as Lauren kicked her. “Girl, be happy he did this all for you when he could be extra obsessive about the playoffs.”

Nina cut her eyes at Karesha before getting on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Sid’s cheek. “Thank you, Sid.”

**

The pictures of that night were put into a small scrapbook. Nina didn’t understand Sidney’s love for documenting memories in such a dramatic way but it was nice to look back at the memories in book form instead of having to scroll through her phone. Playoffs were now starting though so Nina was sure that would be the last carefree time until the playoffs were over, this time hopefully with another cup.

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

A Marriage Arrangement with death pt 4

All I can say is well. Well my bad-

Read Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 3.5

Y/n's eyes slowly opened, turning her head she was face to face with Savage.

Smiling softly her hand reaching out for his face, rubbing Savage's cheek with her thumb lightly.

He slowly woke up, his irises bright in color and lowly shining in the dark room. Y/n said nothing- thank the gods for black out curtains. She thought his eyes were so pretty with there soft glow

He kissed the palm of her hand softly as she smiled, leaning forwards they shared a soft kiss.

"Well good moring." She smiled.

He only sighed, pulling her into his chest as she chuckled.

"Go back to sleep."

"Come on we can't stay in bed forever." Y/n responded kissing his chin, he was rubbing her bare back with one hand she smiled at him, relaxing in his grip she sighed happily.

"We're getting married today."

"Again."

Y/n chuckled, "You don't want to get married again?" She teased.

"Why unify again and tell the galaxy when my galaxy is infront of me."

Y/n flushed deep red, as she moved her gaze away, her chest tightening and butterflies filling her stomach.

"Oh...I..." she spoke trying to come with a counter. His hand carassed her cheek as he sat himself up.

Y/n kept her gaze away the headboard seemingly more interesting, but soon then she realized she was laid down on her back, Savage over her frame as she looked at him to catch his gaze- and hold it.

"Hello there..." y/n spoke trying to cover her akwardness.

He leaned down kissing her softly without another word, her arms wrapping around his large frame, hands rest at the top of his back.

Pulling away softly Y/n whined playfully, chuckling he held her, she pulled him back down into a kiss happily as a leg wrapped around his bare waist.

A soft groan of pleasure was drawn out into the kiss and the two pulled away softly with a pant.

"Moring sex sounds fun." Y/n joked as he chuckled, going to kiss her again there was a knock on the door.

Y/n groaned in displeasure, its always someone. Pulling herself from under him she covered herself with a robe. Walking towards the door it opened with a push of a button.

"Oh- Misses Gladlys-" y/n responded, "I uh...why are you here?"

"I was requested to get you on account of your mother Princess."

Y/n nodded, "uhuh for?"

"Well to get ready of course. It is your big day."

"The ceremony isnt till later in the day?" Y/n questioned.

"Well yes but-"

"Misses Gladys I love you. And you know that. But I have another matter- Very Very big matter."

"But Princess."

"Just this once. Give me..." She spoke looking back at Savage, his hips and below covered by the blankets as his top half was put on full display for her, "Give me 45 mintues-"

"Fourty-Five Mintues!? Princess you're mother-"

"Sorry Misses Gladlys! I promise just once! Bye!-"

"But Princess-"

Y/n shut the door, locking sealing it shut from the inside.

"Now." Y/n spoke turning back to him walking towards the bed as she dropped her robe.

"Where were we?"

"Sleep."

"Right."

She climbed into bed as she curled up to him, his arm drapped over her hip in protection.

"The sweet glory of sleeping in." Y/n smiled nuzzling into his chest as he chucked, both going back to sleep for another hour.

Yet she would be woken up by a loud knocking, causing her to groan. Savage was also woken up as Y/n pulled away from him recovering herself she opened the door.

"Do you have any idea what time it is!"

"Yeah Yeah Im going." Y/n spoke walking back into the room and going back to Savage.

"Wish me luck with her- and someone will be here with a set of chlothes. My brother's will want to talk to you before hand," Y/n spoke kissing him softly, "Love you."

"I love you too."

She smiled as she left, being yelled at as soon as she opened the door.

"Yeah yeah lets go."

Savage sat up rubbing the back of his neck, meanwhile getting dressed his chlothes from the other night, pulling the boots on and bottoms, leaving his armour off he pulled on the turtle neck. That's when he received a transmission.

Picking up the hologram fromed as Ventress stood there.

"Savage."

"Mistress."

She crossed her armors, "has she trusted you?"

"Yes." Savage spoke, "I believe this may be a strong allyship between the two worlds-"

"You fool! This is an infiltration! Do not get attached!" Ventress argued.

"I thought this was ment to be Unification. Not a hoax." Savage tried to defend, but it was useless.

"Count Dooku will be present today both at the ceremony and to sign documents. Its when we will attack, killing Count Dooku and the royal family. And Dathomir will finally regain what was lost to them."

What was he suppose to say- No? He couldn't do that, he did belong to Ventress after all. The spell did what it was ment to.

"You will kill the royal family! And that Pathetic thing you call your wife." Ventress demanded.

"Yes. Mistress."

"Good."

The transmission was cut as his head felt like it split open, holding it in pain he growled.

The doors opened.

"Hey! Savage! We wanted-" it was one of Y/n's brothers, "You okay?"

"I-I am fine." Savage lied.

"Oh. come on then."

He followed the group leading him into a lounge area, all her brothers sat there. They cheered for him as he ended.

"Big day huh! Must be exciting!"

"You idiot he was married at Dathomir as well."

"Your an idiot!"

"Sorry for them." Fresco spoke apologizing for the twins, handing Savage a cup, "for your headache."

Savage nodded almost immediately downing the water, leading him to come sit down

"You heard fathers coming back?"

"Good maybe mother will finally stop being so mean."

"Please you know she bullies him too."

"You havent met all of us have you?" Fresco spoke.

"No I don't believe I have."

Fresco smiled, "there is a lot of us. You know the twins and Attiucs."

The twins were busy arguing but Atticus waved looking up from his book.

"Ezio here is the oldest." The older teen raised a cup taking a drink.

"Im after him, and Jacob's next, after are the twins but you met both of us" Fresco added, "Juniper is next."

The teen with his hair half buzzed the other side long and braided lifted up a lazy hand, sitting upside down on the couch as he listened to his brother.

"After Juniper its Atticus, and then the triplets."

They were busy dualing around the room with sticks, "Cornelius, Hamilton, and Magnus."

Hamilton stopped to wave Politely but was ran into by his two siblings as they fell onto the floor.

"What about you? And your brothers? Sisters?" Juniper questioned but Atticus kicked him.

"You little shit!-"

"I don't have any brothers. Not no more." Savage responded his glass being refilled by butler standing by.

"Hey! We got you. We're all brothers now." Fresco spoke a fist to Savage's shoulder playfully, "we're an off bunch but mean well."

The group contuied to talk to Savage, it was odd how accepting they really were. Somewhere in the back of his mind made him regret all of this.

He'd have to kill all these people.

So what was the point of getting close?

Soon enough all of there suits came, Savage the only one in white.

"Who do you think Y/n will recieve?" Juniper asked the group.

"I believe a moder. Perhaps Sutur." Ezio explained fixing the flower pin in his hair.

"What is receiving?" Savage asked.

"Hmm?" Fresco asked, "Oh it-"

Mid word Juniper cut in, "It's part of the religion. The 12 gods are believed to comibned to become the earth beneath us. Sutur is just one of the gods, mostly know for being a core due to its controling of everything hot. When you marry one born on this planet goes through a 'receiving' its rare but only twelve can get a god, but you can also get an enity or a passed loved one though that's super rare. They give you there strength within battle."

"But Y/n's much more powerful than a core- which is why she should be getting Hela." Jacob cut in.

"Hela hasnt been someones beck and call since Father." Ezio argued, "and we all know how he ended up. You wish that upon your sister?"

The group went quiet.

"I was given the impression your father was alive." Savage responded.

Fresco sighed, "when he was assigned Hela he descended into madness with each kid born. They think he's in Helheim and will return- He'll be Y/n's receiver."

"I think he's dead dead." Jacob responded, "like he deserves and mother better follow him"

"You can't say that!" Atticus argued.

"Please Attiucs grow up." Juniper spoke.

Savage listened intently, as Fresco looked back at the Zabarack, "We may have a large family, but the heads of the family aren't...the best"

"It sounds like my family." Savage told him as they all started filing out of the room, leaving just him and Fresco in the room alone, "I. Unfortunately grew up without one of my brothers, he was taken away due to his special ablities."

Fresco listened as he poured them both a glass of whiskey, "And my younger brother. I don't remember what happened, or if he's even alive."

Handing Savage the glass they stood by the window.

"Makes you not want to have kids." Fresco questioned, "I know it scares me. Becoming the one thing I hate."

"On Dathomir men are only used for mating and then usually killed off." Savage spoke.

Fresco frowned looking out the window- how was he ment to respond to such information.

"I know my sister will treat you with Kindness." Fresco spoke, "it seems you're already growing on her. I seen you two at the dinner."

Savage felt his chest tighten, he was falling in love with her, and he liked it. He loved the idea of her.

"Guys hurry up or it will be the groom walking down the Isle." Ezio told as he had quickly come back.

The two left with each other side by side. Both enjoying the silence as they walked down the steps. Thats right, He had only been down and up these steps a few times, but those few times were some of the best times of his life.

Stopping outside the castle he looked back, seeing it all shiney as the sun hit it perfectly, looking like something out of a book. The whole walk was like that- there was no reason to take out a whole planet for the sake of Dathomir, Dathomir didn't need another planet- he would of liked them to fix theres first atleast.

"Savage?"

He turned his head seeing Y/n standing there, when was she here? Looking around a bit shaken she stood in her wedding dress- it looked perfect on her, with a full bottom and a lacey top that had the same matching sleeves. When were they at the alter already?

"Are you okay?" She whispered softly, the priest reading off religious text.

"I-" he spoke looking at her what was he suppose to tell her?

Her white dress would be bloodstained within a matter of mintues due to what Mother Talzin was planning?

"I have a headache is all." He responded.

Y/n frowned, "maybe some food afterwords will make you feel better. Caf was even skipped this moring."

"Right." He responded, and left it at that.

"Do you take this man to be your husband? To take of him in sickness and health? To love him without doubt?"

Y/n smiled, "I do."

Her hand gripped onto his in excitement, that small squeeze made him happy, feeling her hand in his.

He had no idea what the woman infront of them said but only said the words as quick as he comprehend.

"I do." He cut the lady off.

Y/n flushed as she looked down flustered.

"Then I do pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Y/n was pulled in quickly, shocking her, but it wasn't unwelcomed, kissing back the large church full of people cheered as they pulled away and as he did He seen Count Dooku sitting next to Mother Miranda. The group of people settling down, calming themselves once more as the woman cleared her throat Savage being gestured over by her brothers who were off to the side as he went over.

"With the coming of age you Y/n will be the caller of one of our twelve gods. You may be choosen for something greater, or passed by as a common folk." She spoke, "are you ready to give yourself to the twelve gods and let them judge you as one!"

"Yes head preist." Y/n spoke as her wrist was grabbed and palmed opened where it was sliced open Y/n gritting her teeth slightly as she was dragged to the floor, only following as her hand was put face down on the alters floor.

The woman moved to the side as the doors behind the alter creaked. Atticus holding onto Savages leg as Savage put a hand on his shoulder telling him he'd be okay.

"By the twelve gods..." Fresco spoke as the door opened a large hand crawling onto the carved in wood.

"I-its Hela..." Ezio asperated as the door swung open heavily crashing into the wall. Which it was hinged to.

The room silent and still as the other swung open.

The figure large, made up of what seemed to be Ash, body exposed and what looked like to be burnt half way just to show her dark innards, she was on all fours as Y/n looked up at her, slowly standing up as it went quiet for a moment.

Y/n reached out her cut hand, Hela reaching out her hand as well as Y/n looked forward keeping her eyes on Hela.

Somewhere some how Helas hand had shrunken along with part of her arm as they were bound by the cut on Y/n's hand.

'They're here-'

A warrior bursted into the doors as Y/n turned her head, "We're being attacked! The ships! They've all been destroyed!-"

The man stopped stabbed through the back, and fell to the floor.

"So sorry to ruin this happy momment."

Y/n growled as her hand was let go, and in place of Hela's hand held a sword, as Ventress walked down the isle.

"Damn are sister really is a bad ass-" Ezio spoke under his breath.

Dooku stood up as well, saber in hand.

"You were foolish to come alone." Y/n argued Hela still behind her looming in all her darkness.

"Who says I'm alone?"

Just as she spoke, a Battalion of night sisters filed into the room from both sides of her.

"Savage." Ventress spoke.

"Yes Mistress."

Almost immediately Fresco who stood besides Savage was lifted up into the air, force choking him as Fresco grabbed at his neck.

"Savage! Stop! Now!" Y/n demanded, "Stop now!"

"Kill him. Now." Ventress demanded.

There was a large crack as the filled church was still in shock, the young man thrown to the floor as his brother immediately surronded him.

"He's dead! He killed Fresco!"

Thats when the chaos started, when one had been pronounced dead.

Y/n could remember, it was all a blur. All the fighting- the blood shed. All she remember was ripping through people with her new found sword, swinging at heads and abdomens, she was luck that her skirt hadn't had a train.

Atticus had ran to her as she fought on the stairs stabbing a nightsister in the face and kicking her back, her white dress covered in dirt and blood, "Y/n!"

"Attiucs! Run away now!" Y/n argued, blocking another weapon, kicking the women in the female Kenobi's

"I'm not gonna leave you!" He shouted.

"Damn it Atticus!" Y/n shouted slicing the woman's flesh and grabbing his hand, "Come on! Lets go!"

Atticus ran hand in hand with her, somehow and some way some of her brothers caught up, they running and escaping to the castle.

"We have to be quiet take off your shoes." Y/n whispered the group hiding behind a wall as they all pulled there shoes off, "You have your run away bags all ready?"

"What?" Magnus asked, his other brother Cornelius, holding his hand, he had lost one of three to Ventress.

"Shit thats right, they never made there's. I'll go with them." Ezio spoke quietly,

Y/n nodded taking a quick head count, they had lost so many already, Fresco, Juniper, and Hamilton.

"I'll take Cornelius and Magnus." Jacob offered.

"I'll take Atticus. Ezio- weapons and maps?"

Ezio nodded, "becareful."

They all nodded, spliting up, Y/n had lucky gotten Attiucs up the stairs and to his room, as he was grabbing his things.

"Y/n." Atticus spoke as she was making sure he had everything for a final time as they carefully walked to her room, once inside she answered him.

"Yes Atticus." She responded going for her own bag.

"Savage...he isnt that mean. I know he isn't." Atticus spoke, "I know we didn't know him long but- he didn't wanna kill Fresco did he?"

Y/n tossed her dress the the floor dressed in trousers now fixing her top.

"Atticus." Y/n spoke kneeling down to him, "I know you liked him. I did too, but I don't even know anymore."

Attiucs frowned, as she held his shoulder's, "Are you going to kill him? Savage?"

Y/n frowned, "I don't know."

[jade-of-mourning]

theformat wrote, "im floating with the birds im talking to the weeds look what youve done to me"

in which i spontaneously take several hours to translate nate’s awfully punctuated commentary on dog problems into Comprehensive English Words. partially so i can write my stupid essay on it for fun. but yes here you go, 4.2k words from a 2006 livejournal archive that i managed to snatch out of two saves. here’s a link if you want to read it from the source, but i’ll have you know it’s a nightmare. early 2000′s nate ruess learn how to type properly challenge.

theformat wrote,

[@ 2006-5-18 18:44:00]

"im floating with the birds im talking to the weeds look what youve done to me"

Hi,

Sitting on my couch, watching ESPN. Damn, it’s good to be home. Things have been pretty crazy the last 6 months. As a lot of you know, we were dropped by our label — we went and recorded a new record, labels became interested, [and] we decided to release it ourselves. We went on tour, and now I’m [...] home for the next week: my first week off in six months. What do I do? 

Well, my roommate and I got memberships to the YMCA down the street from our house. It’s an amazing place. Downtown Phoenix is pretty much an amazing place. It’s not like the rest of the state — speaking of which, I’m declaring war on Scottsdale, it’s the opposite of Downtown Phoenix.

Anyways, so I wake up at 9am every morning. I don’t know what it is, really — I’ve been a "pro" musician for about 3 years now, [and] we are supposed to wake up at 11 or 12. I know some dudes that wake up at 1, but no; since I’ve been home the last few days, I’ve been going to bed at 1 and waking up at 9. My roommate has a job, [so] I think it has to do with that. 

See, there are 3 showers total in our house. I have the big bedroom, so I have the big shower, [and] since I’ve been off on tour and recording, he has gotten used to the nice shower in my room (Which is fine — anyone that’s gotten close to me knows I’m not too fond of showers, so it’s not like I use it that much). So every morning around 8:45, I wake up to my door opening and my roommate going through my room to use the shower. 

You know what it’s like when you’re half asleep but you want to act like you’re awake so as not to freak someone out with all the crazy babble, but you just end up saying all the same crazy babble? I do that every morning. I turn and look at him and try to act like I wasn’t just dreaming about tootsie rolls and parrots that shatter like glass. "Hey [Roommate's Name], that was some game last night" [is what usually] comes out of my mouth — something to that extent — and I think he feels sorry for me, but continues to walk right into my bathroom, and use the shower. 

At this point, I’m awake. I usually have to pee, and I have to then use his restroom. It’s a terrible swap, and it always ends with me wide awake on my front porch (har har) smoking a cigarette and wondering how the hell I’m gonna fall back asleep when the air conditioning is broken. Ah, what a wonderful life at home, [but] that’s the weird thing — I love it. Now we wake up and we go to the [YMCA]. We run, we play basketball, we jump in the pool, we play pool basketball, we get yelled at for dunking the ball. We don’t use soap before we go into the sauna, and the night usually ends with a poker tournament. This is the life I love to live when I’m away from the road. It too is the opposite of Scottsdale. It’s who I am, [and] it’s pretty much who I’ve become.

See, for the last 23 years, it’s been about the highs and the lows for me. I’ve got an addictive personality, [so] I stay away from a lot of things because of this; however, when I find things, I get generally excited. I go crazy. It’s all I think about and all I do for the next howeverlong. For the first 23 years, it was either talking non-stop or locking myself in my room. It’s either great or terrible; not good or bad. Dog Problems changed that.

Initially, Dog Problems was supposed to be that — the original concept of Dog Problems was to be 2 sides of music, the first half taking over where Interventions [+ Lullabies] had left off: "We'll be together in the morning…"

We weren’t, in fact. We were over before Interventions was even released. We were over two weeks after it was recorded, [and] I spent the next 2 years feeling terrible. We got back together… we broke up… we got dogs… we broke up… we got back together and got dogs…

I was still miserable, but I wanted Dog Problems to get me through everything. I wanted it to help me, not anyone else — just me. The first side was supposed to be me down in the dumps [and] everything that went down: how the two of us were dealing with it differently, [and] the second half was supposed to be a realization.

The first inkling of realization was a day [when] we were on tour. We were all laughing about something I’m sure Marko or Adam said. Here I was supposed to be depressed, but the fact that I can spend all of my days in different states with my best friends, all of us doing what we love — that was major! Then my mom called… I’ve got my parents! My friends! What else could I possibly need?

At that point, I felt as if a relationship in a Michael Bolton sort of way didn’t mean anything. It was the people you surrounded yourself with — those were the people that made the difference, and that was going to be side two. I was convinced that when I just closed my eyes and thought about the wonderful people around me, I was going to be great. Not good, [but] great.

I didn’t get that far, no. I got back into the relationship. 

I was sure it was going to work. At that point, life would be perfect, and we all want perfection right? [But] things went right back to far from perfect. Things went to terrible. I couldn’t stop feeling sorry for myself, but I had a concept. At that point, I figured that even by singing and recording these positive songs I was going to feel better, so Sam showed me what was then just a short acoustic guitar version of Snails.

This was it. This was my first chance to prove to myself that life can be beautiful. The thing is, I had never been more miserable. I remember writing the lyrics to Snails: my roommate was at work, I was on the bed, on my night stand was a giant bottle of booze, and somewhere off in California she wasn’t calling me back on a Friday night. So I went to work, listened [to it] over and over. I wanted to get it right; I wanted to be positive. I passed out, then I woke up the next morning [with a] big headache (P.S. drinking is not really that cool; it’s cool when you condemn it for the first 22 years of your life, then it becomes not cool, then it becomes ok when you moderate yourself) and I started writing everything positive I could think of. [...] Snails was, in Sam’s mind, supposed to be a 2 minute kid’s song, [but] I wrote so much that there was no going back. I thought that was it — Snails solved all of my problems.

It didn’t get that far either. Nothing could shake the depression, [and] I really started to worry about myself. Here I want to feel great, but I only feel terrible, [and] a few months later it got really really bad. I had to go to my parents house that night, I didn’t want to be at my house. I wanted to feel like a kid.

It’s funny how we always want to be adults when we're younger. We want to drive cars, we want to have girlfriends. I still didn’t consider myself an adult — all I wanted was to come home, be tucked in, know that everything was going to be alright. I woke up the next day [and found out] she met someone new. I’ve got to figure myself out…

In the meantime, we've got 4 songs we are recording over at our friend Aaron’s house (he is an amazing producer and [...] musician, and his house and his roommates have gotten me through a lot of tough times. They’re some of the only people I know who would rather spend their Saturdays getting dinner and watching a movie instead of going to a party. I like that). All of this turmoil in my relationship was going on at the time, and I was trying to write side two [but] I couldn’t. There was more fuel to side one. These songs have to be done, so I wrote about what I knew, and at that point I knew how to feel terrible.

So much for side two. Dog Problems is going to be one giant mess of depression and "look what you’ve done to me".

Atlantic got those four songs, as well as a few others. They were not psyched, to say the least, but some people at the label actually cared about it enough to say "go record". So we were able to pick our producer, we met with a few people, talked to a few more. Things were looking up. Dog Problems was going to happen. 

I remember meeting Steve McDonald at his house — Sam and I were excited to be [there] because we knew his wife Anna would probably be there. Anna was the lead singer/songwriter for a band we used to obsess about called "That Dog", her brother was one of the ten drummers in the world that I actually liked, so Steve couldn't be so bad. And he wanted to produce our record, so he had to be pretty cool! 

He was just that, and more. Sam and I were eating every word that came out of his mouth. He had stories; he was young, hip, energetic, and yet very all knowing. We saw someone that was going to let us do whatever we wanted to do, and in the meantime he was going to make us laugh and make sure we didn't lose our minds. From that point on, I knew there was someone I could always trust. I made a friend pretty quick.

Things were moving forward. Steve McDonald was to be the producer. I hated Los Angeles so there was no way in hell I was going to record there, [so] we decided Palm Springs would be perfect. Weird, but perfect. I had a phone conversation with Steve that night and we were finalizing everything. I was going to call Atlantic in the morning and let them know just how everything was going to work, [but] I didn't get that far.

I was sleeping in a blowup bed at the house when my phone rang. I didn’t wake up and answer like it was my roommate and he was coming into my room to use my shower, [because] this call felt different. Right away, I was awake.

It was our manager: "You’ve been dropped." 

When I heard that, the first thought going through my mind wasn’t "Oh man...how are we going to be famous now and make boat loads of money?" It was more like "fuck...but Dog Problems. We were supposed to go make Dog Problems."

The thing is, Atlantic wasn’t into Dog Problems. They were into whatever it was they thought we were. Never had The First Single made more sense — what was supposed to be a song about getting the band started and doing something with it had actually turned into a song about how stuck we were in the labels eyes because of the song. I was past that; we're proud of something we wrote when we were 19 and 20, but when I think of music, I think of progression. 

I think of all of the wonderful records I had been introduced to when I had nothing to do riding in a van. I think of all of the new influences, all the instruments, all of the "How did they do that?" And I think of how much it gets me through everything.

Music has been the consecutive[ly] great[est] thing in my life. It’s been that one thing, and with Dog Problems, it wasn’t about "I want everyone to sing along because I can write a catchy song." It was about feeling. It was paying tribute to all of the bands that we obsessively listened to. It was for Harry Nilsson and Van Dyke Parks, it was for Jellyfish and XTC. It was our way of saying thanks for making our lives better, whether it be lyrically or musically. It was never about being something, being told something, and sticking to something. It was an adventure, for the artist and for the listener.

[And] they didn't get that. They wanted the old record, the old songs, just with different words and a few different chords here and there. They didn’t care about Snails or Dog problems [or] what it meant to write those songs. They knew it wasn't going to be huge; the guitars were not big enough (if big guitars are your thing that’s fine, it’s just not really our thing right now); it wasn’t going to be competitive, and so they dropped us. And rightfully so: we weren’t going to change, and obviously the major label business is never going to change, [so] now it comes down to who goes down first. And we weren’t ready to go down.

Sam and I had conversations about it, whether the business end of things have been fucking with us so much that we'll never be sane enough to just enjoy it. We thought about getting out — it wasn’t [be]cause we hated each other, or the songs; it was because we hated the business.

Steve called to let us know that he was still onboard, label or not, [and] we let him know we were still on board. We were going to make this record, [and] I was going to feel great! But the record was going to cost something. How could we afford it? 

We were lucky that we had a management company like Nettwerk. Not only are they the most forward-thinking music business people around, [but] they’re also (for the most part) Canadian. Oh, and they care a shit load about the music we make. They could have waited for the ship to sink, but they told us they would pay for the record if need be. Fortunately, we were able to get money for getting dropped — Atlantic actually paid us to leave, so we could afford the recording ourselves. The only stipulation was that it had to be done quicker, and when you want something quick, you have to go to the "right here, right now" capitol of the world: Los Angeles. I was a little irked at the thought at first, then Steve said it was his personal goal to make LA a wonderful city for me. Like I said, I would jump off a cliff if Steve said it was the best way to get coffee, but I wasn’t jumping off of cliffs. I was too excited to make Dog Problems, [so] LA it was.

Sam and I moved to the "Silver Palace" in Silverlake California in the middle of December. We found an amazing studio in Burbank, California and an amazing engineer in Ken Sluiter, and our goal was to just do everything free from a record label and someone constantly messing up the recording process by saying things like "that’s not high octave enough". The only pressure we had at all was from our manager saying "You have a tour you accepted in March, [so] get it done by then.” Other than that, it was me, Sam, Steve, and Ken working 13 hours a day for 6 days a week.

It became our lives we were putting so much of ourselves into. Everyone that worked and played on the record was the same way when they were there contributing. I would leave the studio at 2 in the morning and wake up at 10 to be at the studio by 11. There was no free time — the four of us were so invested in this. We all bought into the concept. 

In the meantime, things outside of the studio were getting interesting. We had a lot of labels calling and constantly asking about it. During one week of recording, I remember at least 3 different label people coming down to the studio. Our minds weren’t made up as to what we were doing with the record once it was recorded — all we wanted to do was finish it — but we kept our options open and let people sit in the big chair and listen to what we had been working on. The response was overwhelmingly positive, but we didn’t really think about it too much beyond the compliments we were receiving. Sam and I got used to LA — I was 10 minutes away from where I had been the previous summer when I was back "on" in my “on and off" relationship. I was ten minutes from her, she was calling every day, I was singing about it… but how was it not getting to me? Why did I not care?

My phone was off. I woke up in Silverlake one morning and started wondering why for the last month I had a smile on my face. Sure, I was down at times, but the thing that had been bringing me down for 3 years was now the last thing on my mind. Apparently, it had been that way for awhile. Something that took 3 years to get over… I was finally just okay with it. No big realization — just the fact that things happen. People make mistakes. And I came out of it alright. I was good; not great… I was good, and that felt good.

I wasn’t looking for great anymore. I was okay. The last song on Dog Problems is all about that. Here, this record was supposed to be the downs, and the ups, and it ended with the middle: the realization that I don’t need to be talking; I don’t need to be locked in my room — I need to enjoy what’s going on around me. And if things go wrong, they go wrong. There’s always tomorrow.

Dog Problems means so much to me in so many different ways. I’ve never been more proud of anything in my life. I cried so many times during the making of the record. All the money I had spent on therapy, and all I had to do was go make a record, realize that I’m alright, and realize that I made something that I’ll forever be proud of.

Shit… the record was supposed to be about how California can change you for the worse, [but] it played a huge part in doing the opposite!

So as we were putting the finishing touches on the record (all our friends came in and recorded! A ton of people we admired came and worked on the record! All of their responses were so positive that it's hard not to get an ego about it. These are the people I worship. They’re the ones I wanted to pay tribute to, and they think we've made something unique and special. It’s like Michael Jordan telling you that you have a nice jump shot (no more sports references… I swear I’m done)) and we started to think about what we were going to do with it. How we were going to release it. Labels were getting pretty into it, and we knew we would have to make a decision soon.

After much debate and discussion, we decided that the record was something we had made completely on our own, so why not release it completely on our own? Nettwerk was going to take care of the distribution so it would have a major label distro. It would be inside all of the Best Buys; what more did we want? We didn’t want a big fat check — we did that last time. It made us miserable, and nothing came out of it. Barely anyone at the labels helped us, we weren’t making music videos, our songs weren’t on the radio, so why would we take their criticism? After all, everything that we’ve done — any success we’ve had is from being real people who make music. From showing up to play, from 3 years on the road. 

On Interventions [+ Lullabies], there might have been an Elektra logo on the back of the record, but it ended right there. We were the ones SHOWING people who we were. I wouldn’t have it any other way — no one knows us better than ourselves, so why not release it ourselves? To me, it’s not only a testament to the hard work we put into the band (Mike, Don, Marko, Toco, everyone else involved in putting these songs to life — you guys are the best thing we have. It’s pretty special when your best friends are some of the most talented musicians), but I really feel like the people who come to our shows are such good people that they don’t give a fuck what label it’s on.

They are there because we are doing something positive, and because we care about them as much as they care about us. So for the time being we've said "fuck the middleman": we're the only people we can blame at this point. I’m so tired of even talking about major labels and the split and everything like this. The music is the only thing I care about. Dog Problems is the only thing I care about, so why let someone else ruin it?

The Vanity Label was born.

The record got finished. We had no time to rehearse, and we had to go right back out to tour. Our first show before the Motion City Soundtrack tour was in Nashville — I remember the last time we were in Nashville, there were about ten kids. Reuben’s accomplice kept asking them why they hate whales, so we figured why not go there and get some of the rust out of the way. After all, we haven't toured in a year so there should be like 3 kids there; we can mess up if need be.

Unfortunately, we were not allowed to mess up. On a Sunday night in Nashville, with Ted Leo playing across the street (I <3 Ted), our first headlining show outside of Arizona in almost a year was over sold out. What the fuck happened? 

We thought we were going to have to play for another 3 years just to get back to where we were when we left, and yet it’s sold out on a Sunday night? It didn’t end there either — the whole tour went like that… night after night ("nite after nite?"). I couldn't believe it. As if having Dog Problems wasn’t enough, now we have people showing their support in the most positive way: coming to the shows, being there from the only thing they knew before. Those two months were such good months. It was the last thing I expected. Thanks so much to all the bands that played with us, and thanks so much for everyone that came to the shows and sang along. We'll be back in July.

In the meantime, things were going great on the Vanity Label front. Business actually felt natural. We are shooting a video with the directors we had always dreamed of doing a video with (it won’t be serious...no pouty face). There were magazines like AP and online magazines like AP taking notice, supporting the whole idea and concept. We actually took press photos. I’ve never been through any of this before, it’s exciting. I don’t think it’s going to change who we are, not one bit, but it’s still exciting to see people who can help out actually help out.

So where does that leave me now? Sitting on my bed. I’ve rambled for hours, the air still doesn't work, and I’ve been told that Dog Problems (something that isn't supposed to come out till July) has been leaked. Not the best news when you just got out of the pool, but it happens. I freaked out at first — I thought I was going to lock myself in my room. After all, this is something that we spent over two years making. It’s something that you have to take the time… listen to in headphones… play loud… listen to in order of the tracks… the artwork… Sam did the best artwork he has ever done. The packaging is something we paid extra for because Sam’s concept was so brilliant, and now… it’s leaked on the internet? I was locking my door, then our manager called.

"Hello?" 

"We're releasing it on the website today." 

"Wow."

So, here goes. You’ve read enough. I shouldn’t have to go on about it anymore, but I will say, if you wanna wait for the full hard copy release then do so. It’s July 11 — we are gonna be touring right after that — but if you want to get it now,.please do it by purchasing it right here. We released it, it’s our money, it’s our little baby — you should take the time to listen to it all the way through, free of distraction. You should turn the songs into your own. It’s an adventure, and it’s something that we put everything we have into; and if anyone deserves it first, it’s you guys who have been here with us all along.

Without further ado...

"Dog Problems"

- Nate

[darkalleywayexpress]

Your destiny is written from the day you’re born.

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Rated M

Warnings: non-con sex, oral, violence, abuse.

This is based off of The devil all the time. Specifically Lee Bodecker. Ideas be taken from the original story of course. 

Note: First time writing. Haven’t written before, please give feedback. I don't mind constructive critism. Hope you enjoy! Thanks!

I have to get home before 12:45 am or else – ughh I don’t even want to recall what happened last time I came any later than that. Excuses as my parents say, is not a reason. Even it is a couple minutes later. The chilly wind is blowing straight at my face, the feeling is as though it’s cutting my cheeks. I have to leave the diner right at 12 once done cleaning or else I won’t make it to home on time. Only reason why I hate working closing shifts though, this neighbourhood is not a friendly place, people that should make you feel comfortable don’t give you the warmth that you should be getting. I make a right turn, heading into my neighbourhood three more houses down and I’ll be home, whatever that means. Just before heading in can I see the silhouette of my mother standing by the window on the second floor. She leaves as I set the key into the door. Taking my shoes off so I don’t dirty the floors. I begin making my way to my room and soon  prep myself to go to bed and fall asleep right away.

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Cheep Cheep. It must be morning already. The birds are standing along the window waking me up from my slumber. I should get ready before ma and pa, and my five older brothers wake up. They always get mad when I don’t get breakfast ready on time.

One by one they begin filing up the table. All I have to do left is fill up their coffee. I don’t eat until their done eating, since there is no seats available for me. They all leave to work and mom sitting in her usual spot. In front the television. It’s been this way since I graduated high school, I mean I always helped out when I was “free” but now I’m expected to do it all alone. 21, ever since I’ve been 21 my parents are wanting me to get married so I can stop being a nuisance in the house. I’m old they say and if I ain’t married young people will start thinking Im a whore and that’ll be the reason know one would want to marry me. Which literally makes zero sense since my parents don’t even want me to make any friends whether that person may be a girl or a boy. Ha. If they ever caught me with a boy, they’ll easily beat me to death in a blink of an eye. Life here in Southern Ohio is the opposite of a lovely town, it’s like everyone here is borderline psychotic-- no full-on psychotic. All I wish for is to get out of here in one piece, hence why I work at the diner though saving up around 20 or 10 every pay. It ain’t much but it is at least something. I’m expected to give every dime to my father which he spends on himself, mostly alcohol at least that’s what I think.

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Another closing shift today. Customers that start coming in at 3 are first students and as time passes by complete creeps come, though sometimes I am lucky with the odd family outing here. Time begins to fly by as per usual. I made a friend here a girl whom I tend to share my shifts with, Jamila, who is around my age just a couple years older. She knows how my family is and understands why I can’t do all things “normal” friendships do together. Its nice to have someone that is understanding. Though I pretty sure everyone knows my dad is a dick, he isn’t the type to hide it. Taking in pride that he suppresses his wife and well me though sometimes I do question whether people know I’m his daughter. Ding ding. The bell on the door chirms and I check the time since it is getting late. 9:30 am, we still have an hour and half left before we close, all most there. Looking at the people that came in, I noticed that its people from the deputy office, five of them. Looking at Jamila to see if she will be taking them, she smiles, indicating that she will be. I decide to head to where the cook is, so I can help him prepare their orders.

There are two groups. Three customers at one table and well the five that just came in. Looking at the group that has just recently came I notice that amongst the five and well of course Jamila standing and having a conversation with them through many giggles, I notice that the Sherriff is there. The most beloved of the town, hence why he got voted. If you were to ask me, I would say he is quite young to be a Sheriff aren’t they usually around their late fifties to early sixties. Plus, how do people see him as trustworthy his whole aura his cold. His eyes always seem tired and judgemental. I feel like I can shit myself whenever I see him, well any of them but him the most. Our eyes link, holding our gaze to one another. I fluster. Have I been staring for so long for him to notice? Straightening my posture I turn to make my way to the back of the diner.

 Jamila seems in a high spirit after her time with the men. “I wanna be married already, waiting at my parents house ain’t getting me nowhere.”

“Marriage ain’t the greatest thing in the world. Being able to stand on your own two feet is though.”

“Yeah, yeah. You say the same thing all the time y/n.” Jamila sighs back at my response. I can’t help but smile to myself, I wish I had the same optimism in life as her.

POV CHANGE

“Ahhhh. Honey make sure you get it all in the cup. We don’t want any spilling.”

“Yes. Ill make sure Lee. Mmmm or should I say Sheriff.” Dragging out the f with her tongue.

She begins kissing up all over my neck. Touching all over my body. Glancing around making sure no one is around to see just in case, I see the girl from the diner straight ahead. Is she walking alone at night back home from work? Is no one taking care of her? Oh my sweet lost girl, someone good must take care of such a weak young women. I pull away the hands on my body.

 “I think I should call it a night from here, I got a busy day tomorrow honey.”

“Will I see ya soon?”

“We’ll see about that; things have been getting bust around at the office.” With that she leaves, waving goodbye as my eyes begin following the girl from the diner. I’m just watching to make sure she is alright. I exit my vehicle since I won’t be able to see her from my seat much to long, keeping a far distance so she wont see me. She takes a right, walking into a neighbourhood I stop at the end just before entering. She stops at old Virgil’s place. She looks up and then begins walking up the steps putting her keys into the lock and shuts the door after herself. Huh. That’s Virgils daughter? A pretty dame for such an ugly Pa. Hahaha. Fucking Virgil.

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I couldn’t sleep all night, waking up every so hour due to the aches in my body. Periods, they truly are the worst. It hurts so bad and Ma won’t even believe me when I say so, saying something along the lines of I didn’t have it that bad. But I have a feeling my body won’t be the only ache today. Groaning I get up to head down to start breakfast grabbing another painkiller to help feel better and a robe to help keep my body heated in this cold house.

Breakfast is all prepared by the time they all take a seat on the kitchen table as I take a seat on the sofa in the living room since standing is just to achy. Ding dong.

“ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF? Get up and open the fucking door!” Pa screams out the kitchen.

“Sorry Pa.” I get up quickly not taking in mind my pain. Has it rung a couple times? I haven’t even noticed.

“Good Morning. I just stopped by to speak to Virgil if he is not busy.”

It’s the Sheriff. What does he want from Pa? Nobody really ever comes to our house to speak to him.

“WELL WHO IS IT!” Pa screams.

“Let me go call him.” I say to the Sheriff. My body hiding behind the door.

“You go do that Sunshine.” He grins. I shiver in response. I go to tell dad and he gets up quickly from his spot. Taking his Jacket with himself not speaking to anyone as he does.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 50

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

(FINAL CHAPTER)

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49

THANK YOU’S

I can't explain how much AM Conversations and YOU&ME has meant to me. This was a story I started just for fun after I realized how much I loved Niall. After only a few chapters, i almost let it die. It took me 4 years to decide to continue it again, despite knowing back then that no one cared or was interested to read. I don't know how I got lucky enough that you guys actually gave this story a chance. And I can't thank you enough for trusting me. I hope I entertained you through the past year and a half, and I really hope I made you go through a bunch of emotions, good and bad. I don't think all of you realize how happy you made me feel with the likes, the reblogs, the comments, the feedback and the ideas you sent me. It made me want to write more, it made me want to continue this story and actually finish it.

And here I am. It's the very first time I actually finish a story. two books. 105 chapters. Over 440k words. I can't pretend I'm not proud of this. This story will always be my baby, my favorite. And all of you who took time in your busy days to read and comment it mean more to me than I can ever explain.

I love you guys. I love you so much. I can't seem to express how grateful I am.

Julie ( @paynesqueen​ ): thank you for brainstorming with me almost every week. thank you for all your ideas, and all the help you gave me through the year I wrote these books. even when in quarantine, we'd talk for hours on the phone and you'd be there to help me. thank you for your big heart, thank you for being an incredible friend that I can always count on, thank you for listening to all my sad shit and feelings even if i know I rarely share because i feel stupid. thank you so so so so much! you're one of my best friends, and im so glad i have you in my life!

Isa ( @sushiniall​ ): you are such a beautiful persons. idk if we would have started talking if it wasnt from this story. i like to think that we would, but i can never be sure. thank you for always commenting, sending ideas, liking and reblogging. As a writer, it blows up my heart that someone would be so kind, and as a friend, it makes me want to cry. you're amazing, youre incredible, and you were always always there to cheer me up and tell me that I had talent, It made me keep going and I can never thank you enough for that. I love you. I really really do.

Laila ( @liallerr​ ) : what can i say? you've always been there for me, to make me feel better and to tell me how much you loved my writing. thank you for being such an incredible person. and thank you for being so patient with me whenever i'd message you (even if it wasnt about this story). thank you for never judging me, and for your beautiful friendship. I really hope I bring to you as much joy as you bring in my life. im so happy we met, im so glad we started talking.  i love you so so much, youre like a little sister to me. thank you for always commenting and reading my story. thank you for being you, because i cant think of a better quality in someone. thank you.

@ewhkylie​: you were always one of the first to comments every single chapter. how can i not thank you for being so loyal and giving my story a chance. i saw all the efforts you made into commenting. and every single time, it made me smile. youre amazing, thank you so much!

@llainnaroh​: thank you so much! your tags always made me smile! thank you!

@bamb11​: thank you for always caring and reading!!! youre amazing!

@behind-my-hazeleyes27​: i saw you reblog with tags or comments every time... thank you so much!

special thanks to you guys who reblogged, commented, or messaged me so often! thank you! i noticed every time!

thanks to you guys! @beachsecrets​ @wasteddarlinglover​ @torismusing @sunsetter96​ @bunbun9396 @missy14us​ @mannien​ @cybermugneckpsychic​ @mariamorris913​ @sunshine-sma​ @mypugsley​ @loulouloueh​ @awomanindeniall​ @tylkotroche​

and many many more! (im so sorry if i forgot you!)

thank you to all of you who liked and reblogged my chapters. thank you to those who recommended my stories to their friends or on your blog. thank you to the person(s) who nominated me for the 1d craft awards. thank you so much, you're all amazing!

thank you so so much to all of you who sent me anons about my chapters or the story as a whole. thank you for taking the time to do that. i love every single one of you even if i don't know who you are. just know that waking up with comments and feedback from you in my inbox made me smile every single time!

thank you to every single one of you who ever sent an idea or a request, even if i may not have used them. please know that it's not because your ideas weren't great, but just because it didnt fit in the story. (i received almost 300 requests/ideas for the 2 stories!)

thank you to the 41 persons who asked to be notified when this story was updated. I never thought it would be that many, and every single time i send you guys the link im amazed by how many of you actually care! thank you!

thank you to all of you, the silent readers. those who never messaged me, sent me comments or requests... i don't know who you are, but I know there are some of you out there. i hope at some point you get less shy and send me a comment or two!

i'm extremely thankful for all the love i received, and i'll never forget this. thank you everyone for following me in this crazy adventure. i love you all.

Olivia 💗

Chapter 50 (final chapter)

OLIVIA

I felt Niall's lips brush the skin of my neck and my lips curled. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I chuckled low, tilting my head to allow him to kiss me more. We had been back from our trip to Vegas for about a week, and had intentionally and very carefully ignored the messages and calls we had gotten. All we did was send an invitation for a party to everyone we knew, including our parents, along with plane tickets. We had taken hotel reservations for them and made sure their stay would be perfect. Everything was ready, everything was planned, and all the persons we loved the most in the world were going to be present. I was extremely stressed and as usual, Niall was totally relax about it. I had no idea how he did it, but the fact that he was so calm and laid-back helped me relax, too.

"This is amazing." he let out, pecking my skin more. "Everyone that really matters will be there."

"I hate talking in front of people, you know that." I whined, raising my nose up in a grimace.

"But everyone who'll be there actually loves you, petal." he argued, running his hands gently and slowly up my arms. "I love you the most and I'll be standing right next to you."

"How do you think they're react?"

"Mm, our moms will cry, our dads will laugh, our friends will scream and Louis will curse."

I let out a louder laughter, making Niall chuckle against my neck.

"You told him, didn't you?"

"I showed him the ring but I didn't tell him when I was going to ask you, or that we would just fly to Vegas to get married." he shrugged. "I just left him there and ran to you."

I smiled fondly and turned around in his arms to face him, tilting my chin and licking my lips as I stared in his eyes. He was wearing a tie and I gripped it gently, pulling on it. He had convinced me to wear a dress even if I knew I'd feel uncomfortable the whole evening but I knew I couldn't just wear sweatpants to this event, even if I desperately wanted to.

"How's my make up?" I finally asked, raising my eyebrows, after a few minutes of silence.

"On point." he replied, making me laugh.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?" I asked as he pulled me closer by the waist.

"No idea. None."

I laughed more and he bent down to kiss me gently. "All I know is that you're beautiful. You always are." he whispered, brushing his lips against mine again.

"You're so full of shit, Horan." I breathed back against his mouth, my lips curling slightly.

"I mean it." he insisted very low, his arms slipping around my waist as he pressed my body against his. "You're the most beautiful woman i've ever seen. You shine so much, you glow, my love."

I giggled and he smiled, moving his face slightly away to look at me. My smile faltered a bit and turned into a fond one. I wanted to stay right there, in our living room, as he'd hold me close, but I knew we had somewhere to be.

"My wife."

My eyes fluttered close and my lips curled more. All the papers were signed and the 'I do's were said. We were officially husband and wife and that thought always made my heart jump in my chest. It probably always would.

"Yes?"

"I would love to stay here and make love to you all evening but we should really get going."

I laughed a bit and shook my head, knowing it was exactly what we had been doing for the past weeks but I didn't mention anything. Instead, I tilted my head and just nodded. I was stressed and I was not sure why but after everyone was arrived and had consumed at least one drink, Niall walked up to the small stage and I frowned a bit when I saw him grab his guitar. His eyes found me and he made a quick head movement, telling me to join him.

"Go!" Louis told me, pushing me gently but I just pressed my lips together and breathed in deeply. "Come on, my queen."

I finally joined Niall and he cleared his throat, placing himself in front of the microphone. That was it, that was the moment I was dreading, and I started feeling nauseous.

"Hello everyone, thank you for coming here tonight." he let out with a smile. "I know you're all here because you think we're getting engaged."

I bit my bottom lip but suddenly, I relaxed. Perhaps, it was the sound of his voice that calmed me down, or maybe the fact that we were surrounded by all the people we loved, or maybe it was just the thought that we were married and that no one could take that away from us. Either way, I moved closer and I smiled while staring at him.

"Uhm, we're not getting engaged. In fact, if you haven’t heard from us at all in the past two weeks, it's because we flew to Vegas and got married there."

The memory of him, standing in front of me as he held my hands and promised to love me forever came back to my mind and I held my breath. Everyone started whispering but coming loud from all the murmurs was the sound of my best friend screaming "FUCK YEA!" from the middle of the room. I let out a laughter as my eyes looked for him and he sent me a 'rock on' sign with his free hand while the other was holding up a glass of wine.

"Thank you, Tommo." my boyfriend let out with a smile and a small head movement. "So you guys are here to celebrate the fact that Olivia and I are husband and wife, legally and emotionally. I waited until you were all at least a bit intoxicated to let out the news but if you're here, it's because we love you, and we wanted to live this with you. We knew you would all be happy for us, because after all, Liv and I, it was meant to be."

His eyes found me and I smiled more, I took a step closer and licked my lips as In gripped the side of my dress nervously. It took only a second for Niall's hand to reach mine and when he squeezed my fingers, I felt better.

"Thank you so much for being here. We're sorry you missed the ceremony, but it was important for us to do it just the two of us. When you find the love of your life, that one person you want to spend all your days with until the very last, then there's no reason to wait. I've always known Niall was my soulmate, but now I know I'm his too, and nothing can change that. I know it's cheesy, but each and every single one of you were with us when we said 'I do'"

Niall chuckled next to me and shook his head slightly. "Here, let me reenact what happened to you." he turned to me and just let out a low 'I do' before grabbing my face and kissing me.

It was not as gentle and emotional as it had been when it really happened, but I still felt my heart jump in my chest. I loved the feeling of his warm palms on my cheeks and the way his fingertips brushed against my jaw and neck. I loved his touch. I heard everyone start cheering and clapping and I laughed through the kiss, feeling his lips curl into a smile too.

When he pulled away, I could swear my eyes were sparkling and when his eyes met mine, he smiled even more. "Okay so I wrote a song for you." he explained when the small crowd of our families and friends became quieter. "I wanted to sing it here, in front of everyone, because I thought it was perfect for today."

I took a step back and when he started singing, I recognized the lyrics. I had read them in his notebook a few months before. It was the song he wrote in the middle of the night and I remembered watching him for so long, his pen running quickly on the paper and his hand moving in his hair from time to time, messing it on the top of his head. I remember reading the lyrics the next day and tearing up when I realized there was my name at the bottom. I remembered everything and I tried to keep the tears in as he sang.

"Yeah, I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See you standing in your dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life"

I knew Niall would have preferred a more traditional wedding, and I also knew he gave it up just for me. This small reception was the closest he would get from telling everyone that he promised to love me forever and somehow, with this song, he was doing it very clearly and openly.

"I want the world to witness When we finally say I do It's the way you love I gotta give it back to you I can't promise picket fences Or sunny afternoons But, at night when I close my eyes"

I held my breath, feeling suddenly a bit guilty that he couldn't have his family and friends with him when we got married, but I teared up at how beautiful his lyrics were, even if I already knew that. I breathed in deeply only when the song was over and without thinking, I walked up to him quickly, got on my tiptoes and kissed him.

"I love you so much." I just let out before my lips crashed against his.

Everyone started clapping again but I was not sure if it was for the kiss or the song. Either way, it didn't matter. I just deppened the kiss and he answered it without hesitation. I knew he didn't like PDA, but I couldn't help it and when he pulled me closer, I knew he didn't mind. I felt half of his guitar press on my stomach and laughed a bit.

"I love you too."

NIALL

Everyone was dancing, talking, laughing and drinking. I remained close to my wife the whole time and when I saw our parents talking together, I knew that was the ultimate test. I was pretty sure they would be okay with this but I was still a bit scared of their reaction. I felt Liv hold my hand so tight that I almost took it back. Instead, I squeezed her fingers back and smiled as we walked up to them. Quickly, my mom engulfed me in a hug and all the stress disappeared. I noticed Olivia's parents do the same to her and I hugged my dad before turning to my parents-in-law and hold out my hand to her father. It took a few seconds but his lips finally curled and he shook my hand before pulling on it and hugging me too.

"I am happy for you, son."

"Thank you."

"We're sorry that you couldn't be there with us. I promise we didn't want to hurt you, we just..." Liv started before licking her lips and pressing them together. "We just wanted to do that alone."

Her mom raised her eyebrows and they stared at each other in silence for a while.

"Es-tu heureuse?"

My girlfriend's lips curled and her eyes fluttered a bit. "I've never been happier, maman."

Her mom nodded and after a while, it was my mom's turn to hug her. When they pulled away, Olivia frowned and her lips parted. I couldn't help but think that she looked too pretty for words but I tried to push that thought away when I heard only one word escape her mouth. "How...?" My mom smiled more and chuckled slightly. "I just do."

I was about to ask them what they were talking about but I felt someone slap my back and it took me by surprise. I jumped slightly and groaned low as Louis appeared in front of me.

"Congrats mate, I'm happy for both of you." he said, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me so tight that I lost my breath.

"Thank you." I said as he let go of me to engulf my girlfriend into a tight and more emotional hug.

I stared at them for a few seconds and finally turned to Eleanor who congratulated me too before hugging me. Soon, Liam, Julie and Harry joined us and after hugging everyone, we all started talking and laughing together. I knew everything would go well but at the same time, I was a bit nervous. It was important for me that our friends and family would be okay with the fact that we got married without telling them, and I just wanted them to know it was not against them at all, but mostly just for Liv and I. We had started just the two of us, and it was just the obvious way to do this.

For the rest of the night, I spent my time watching my girlfriend dance, laugh and interact with the people we loved, telling myself that this was the happiest time of my entire life. I watched everyone leave one by one, our parents being the firsts and then our friends. Louis was the last one to leave and we decided to just leave with him.

"You know, you literally made me want to do it too." he let out low, looking at our girlfriends saying their goodbyes and making me frown. "Your speech earlier. It made me realize that maybe I shouldn't wait anymore."

My lips curled and I let out a chuckle. "Go for it." I just let out, knowing perfectly well that their couple was as strong as ours and that they both considered each other their soulmates. "I don't even know why you waited that long."

He didn't send me a glance, he just kept looking at El and after a few minutes, we said good night and left in a different cab. It's only when we walked inside and closed the door behind us that I felt all the stress disappear from my body. It was a good stress, but it was still nice to relax.

Olivia disappeared in the hall and I just sat on the couch, loosening my tie and putting my feet on the coffee table. I closed my eyes and leaned my head on the back of the couch as a bunch of memories came to mine. I had been so close to lose the love of my life forever and by my fault. I had hurt her in a way I had never hurt anyone else in my life and at the same time, I had hurt myself in a way I had never been hut before without realizing it immediately. I couldn't lie and pretend Olivia was not the best thing that has ever happened to me because she was, and I liked to believe I was for her, too. You can call it fate, you can call it destiny, you can call it 'soulmates' but in the end, it was just an other love story for most people. For me, however, it was epic and the accomplishment of a lifetime.

After everything we've been through, every wrong decisions, every mistake and every problem, we still managed to reach this point of happiness together. Olivia has always told me that love was not all you need, despite the popular song, and I knew she was right. But it was because of the love we have for each other that we actually tried over and over again. It was because of this love that we actually ended up together, because we were ready to make the effort, and because we believed in the feelings we had. I knew I would never truly be happy without her and now that we were together, I planned to do everything possible and impossible to keep her in my life.

My girlfriend came back and put something next to the couch, which I guessed was her purse. I was not surprised to see she had changed into a pair of my sweatpants and a shirt that also belonged to me but looked so much better on her. It stuck to her chest and hips in a way it didn't to me and I loved it more than I should.

"I would have loved to take that dress off of you myself." I admitted with a smirk, making her raise her nose up as she sent me a smile. "But hey, I'm not surprised."

She moved closer and gripped my tie, pulling on it gently and making me laugh right before her lips reached mine. I was a bit tipsy and mixed with my happiness, it made me sound totally drunk, but she knew me well enough to know I was just ecstatic from the night we just had had.

"You can take my sweatpants and t-shirt off later, if you want." she proposed before I nodded. "I'm not wearing anything under, if it changes anything."

I chuckled and she kissed my lips again as one of my hands reached for her waist. "Come on, sit on me, will you?"

I watched her hesitate and bite her bottom lip gently before actually straddling me. I moved my chin up, endeared by her behavior, and my hands reached for her thighs. I let my palms rub slowly on the fabric of her pants and stared at her as she licked her lips.

"Thank you for the song." she whispered, a shy smile gracing her lips as she looked away. "Honestly, I had read the lyrics before. I know I shouldn't have but it was sort of an accident."

I raised my eyebrows and smiled back at her. "You're so nosy I swear," I joked. "No one told you not to touch other people's stuff?"

"I'm sorry! I know I shouldn't have. Forgive me?" she asked with a cute grimace, making me roll my eyes with a smile.

"Of course." I just let out, moving my head slightly. "I almost sang you 'This Town' instead." I paused and she frowned. "I know I wrote it when we first dated, and I told you it was partially about you, and partially fiction... but when you were with Dylan and we met again, It hit me how it had completely turned out to be what I was actually going through. And the lyrics are still true, you know? Everything comes back to you."

Her eyes fluttered and a fond smile spread on her lips. She brought her hands to my cheeks and let her thumbs brush on my stubble. I wanted to keep telling her how much I loved her but quickly, she pressed her mouth against mine and my hands gripped her thighs at how good she tasted. I don't know how long we stayed close, her forehead leaning against mine while we both kept out eyes closed, but I focused on her weight on my lap and the aroma of honey and vanilla invading my nose. I could have stayed like that all night.

"Told you our parents would be happy." I let out after a while, making her sit back up to look at me.

"Mm, and your brother?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"He sent a text message to say congrats earlier." I explained as my hands kept running on her thighs. "You know we're gonna have to entertain our parents for a few days. That means we can't spend our days locked her to fuck anymore."

She laughed a bit and tilted her head. "I think we can take a few days break."

I frowned but shook my head, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer. "That's not what I meant, we can still have sex when we come back home, and if you're too exhausted I can do all the to work."

"I suspect you actually enjoy that." she laughed, making me smile more.

"Mm, maybe I do."

I pulled her closer and when her lips brushed against mine, I heard her whimper low. I slowly deepened the kiss just to taste her and she let me, moving as close to me as she could. I felt her ass rub on my thighs and groaned when it reached my cock.

"Maybe we should go to our room now, what d'you say?" I proposed in a whisper before kissing her more.

"Not yet." she murmured back, grabbing my upper lip between hers and sucking on it.

I felt myself get hornier and groaned low as I grabbed her waist and turned us around, laying her down on the couch. She let out a little scream and I quickly moved over her, smiling big.

"Fine then, we'll do it here."

We kissed a bit roughly and deeply for a while but when my hand slipped under her shirt, she quickly stopped me. "Niall wait, I have something for you first."

I frowned but even if I was curious, I definitely thought it could wait. Seeing her face though made me back away slightly and after a few seconds, I sat up and she did the same, pulling on her shirt to put it back in place.

Without a word, she reached for what she had put next to the couch and held me a white gift bag. I stared at it for a while and finally turned to her, a bit suspiciously.

"Did I miss something? An anniversary or something else that was important?"

She chuckled and shook her head, but I noticed how she was nervously playing with the fabric of her pants. "No, don't worry. I just wanted to give you a little something."

We just looked at each other for a while and I let my eyes roam on her face before finally take the colored tissues off the bag and dive my hand in it. I grabbed something and took it out but it took a few seconds for my brain to process everything. It was a piece of fabric, almost the same white as the bag but a bit lighter, and when I turned it around, I understood. On the front was written "my daddy is a rockstar" and somehow, I felt my heart jump so high in my chest I had to swallow it back.

"Petal." I whispered before turning to look at her. "Are you pregnant?"

Slowly, she nodded, her eyes never leaving mine, and I felt my heart jump for a second time. I blinked a few times, feeling tears coming to my eyes as a bunch of emotions flooded me. My eyes roamed on her and ended on her belly who looked exactly like it always did but when I looked up, I held my breath, realizing something.

"My mom knows."

She nodded slowly again. "She... she guessed it. I don't know how she knew, but she congratulated me earlier, at the party."

"You... you didn't drink?"

"Not a drip. I had soda." she explained, tilting her head and pressing her lips together. "I thought you had noticed."

I didn't answer, I just blinked again a few times before looking back at the small pajama I was holding. It seemed surreal and despite what I thought I would feel if it happened, I felt overly emotional but in a good way.

"I'm really gonna be a dad?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and finally turning to my girlfriend who just nodded. I chuckled a bit, and then some more. "Fookin' hell."

"Are you happy?"

Her question was legit since we had had a pregnancy scare a few months earlier, but it seemed like so many things had happened in such a short period of time and now that my tour was over, I felt like it was a good time to jump into this.

"Honestly, Olivia..." I turned on the couch to face her and noticed she was holding her breath and tearing up. I moved closer and her eyes fluttered. I watched one single tear fall from her left one and cupped her face, brushing my thumb on her cheekbone to catch the tear. "I thought marrying you and finally being with you was the highest moments of my life. I honestly never thought I could be even happier than I already was. But you just made me the happiest man in the whole fookin' world, pet."

She let out a loud sigh of relief and I brought my lips against hers. "I love you so much, Olivia. I can't wait for that future with you. You and Me. This is just the beginning."

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 9 - Housewives living in Yamagata prefecture referred to prosecutors for insulting Kawasaki Nozomi.

K: Hi, This is Dir en grey's Kaoru, getting started with another episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san,Tasai san, welcome.

J, T: Pleased to be here.

K: Ok, so today's theme, Joe?

J: Yes, lets take a look at this news. 'Insult to Kawasaki Nozomi. "She gives me the creeps". Housewives in Yamagata prefecture referred to prosecutors....

A 39 year old woman from Yamagata and a 45 year old female medical worker from Osaka are being referred to Tokyo area prosecutors by Harajuku police station. According to staff at Harajuku police station, the pair are suspected of exchanging insults like "She gives me the creeps" about Kawasaki on an online public parenting platform between the 8th and 9th of April. They both admit to the charge.'

Just from reading this, being referred to prosecutors for saying 'she gives me the creeps' is a bit..

T: Well, yeh, but if you look in more detail, over three years they actually wrote on this parenting forum stuff like, 'She should miscarry' or ' 'she's creepy', also 'she's insolent', 'lets set fire to her house', *1, quite extreme things.

J: So we don't actually know thier reason for writing this stuff do we?

T: They wanted to send a message to Kawasaki Nozomi's husband's blog, but they were blocked, or unable to do so for some reason, im not sure. This made them angry and they directed thier rage towards his wife.

J: They probably shouldn't target his wife, and getting that upset because they couldn't send a message..I don't really know.

K: Its not very clever, right?

J: Yeah, its really not.

T: Also, 'defamation', I havn't heard this in a while.

J: Yeh, well Kawasaki san probably felt some damage to her honour, and in reality, if they come near her house, its coming close to interference in her business. The police probably thought this kind of 'defamation' was grounds for referrering the case to prosecutors. Another possibility is that  Kawasaki san hired a lawyer, who may have said they same thing....So, this happened on an online forum? I think we talked about this happening with someone else before, but how far can slandering be forgiven? I mean, in this case its being reffered to prosecutors, so, well, when does it become a crime? I think this is a really difficult point. This kind of thing hasn't been made clear in detail, but it may have similar requisites as harassment. But like, how far do you have to go for it to be sexual harassment?, how far to..???*2. This type of thing isn't specified in criminal law. I think this is a problem that will have different interpretations, that will change depending on the information. So, Kaoru, as an artist with your name and face in the public eye, you must get lots of supportive messages. But at the same time, you probably also get some not so supportive messages. How far can you tolerate those? Of course, even one nasty thing can hurt, but what what would you consider worth talking to the police about, for example?

K: Well, I havn't had anything as bad as this, but...???*3 seems creepy to me.

J, T: For sure 

J: And in this case, Kawasaki san hasn't even done anything! She's just in the wrong place. Right from the start its like, 'Why me?!'

K: Yeh, cause she's pregnant isn't she?..with that..its scary isn't it?

J, T: It is.

T: So, Kawasaki san is a former AKB 48 member, and after she quit, she started up her own company and was quite successful, she's been categorized as a winner, there might be people who are jealous of her. But to this extent..?

K: Well, they wrote it thinking that they wouldn't be exposed, didn't they?

T: Do people get exposed?

K, J: They do.

J: But why would they intentionally write this on a public forum? Wouldn't you normally spout your jealousy at a bar or something, after a few drinks?

K: But this is the same as that.

J: They simply write it?

K: I think so.

J: Like a kind of public execution?

K: No, I don't think they are thinking that much about it.

T: I think people need to be more aware of how scary SNS can be.

K: People are writing stuff with no thought, so i also think its ok to ignore it really. Its a person writing wierd stuff off the cuff, its all over...I mean, recently.???? There are tonnes of people writing stuff without thinking. And then people see all these comments just like that...writing just like that, and seeing just like that. Strangely, you need to be able to ...???, and you need to be able to brush it off . You'll still always encounter SNS or online info, thats how I feel about it *4.

J: I see.

T: There have been sucides in Korea, famous people have committed suicide, because they got affected by what people wrote online. So it happens in other countries too.

K: Well, it does affect you, the first time you see it.

J: Well, yes. When I do radio I get called all kinds of names *the others laugh*, recently, ive gotten, '????', to one of my shows. And these people get carried away, right, so it just increases more. They just come out with insult after insult*5, like 'are you still at it?!' ...well, i think, at least they are listening, so im kind of thankful.

K: Yeah, yeah.

J: Like, im just always talking, it could be kinda annoying, so if theres someone out there listening, im grateful. *T laughing*

T: Doesn't it bother you, Joe?

J: Not usually, no. But sometimes they hit in a sensitive spot, right? *K, T laugh*

J: It shouldn't be a big deal ...but....right? Some people will even cry on the train home. Even though it hasn't been a big deal until now, some people will cry about it. Especially if im also having a tough time with work or personal life, it stings.

K: Well, you are only human.

J: Right.

Kami: It happens to me too.

J: Oh, Kami's here.

Kami: Yeah, that happens to me.

T: You're not bothered by that though are you?

J: Yeah, you're a god.

Kami: Well, they say im no big deal, unreliable, or useless or something like that, loads of things are said about me...'you cheater ' and such.

T: *laughs*

J: You cheater?

K: Cheater..? What did he do?

J: Yeah!

K: No, I havn't done anything! I havn't done anything. Maybe its because, they'll give thier shrine donation but I don't do anything in return.

J: Oh, that more like a case of money trasfer fraud in the end?

Kami: Well, yeah.

T: Are you doing well at your part time job   Kami?

Kami: Yeah, im doing well.

J: Are you?

Kami: Yeah, I am, i am.

T: A pseudo account...

K: He's writing on one, right?

Kami: No, if stuff happens to my displeasure, I'll give out bad luck..as a fortune.

K: Did you say, 'I'll give out..' *laughs*

J: Kami, you're scary.

T: He is.

Kami: The people who insult me will go home with bad luck.

J: But there must be people all over the world saying stuff about you..

Kami: Yes, yes, yes.

J: It must be tough to search online for yourself?

Kami: Yes, that is tough.

J: Right?

K: He said once before that he searches for himself online, didn't he?

J: He did..I wonder how many hits you get per day with the god hashtag?

Kami: There are people saying this god is good, or that god is good, or there is only one god, or stuff like that. I don't even know which one they mean.

K: But aren't there many gods, but one in charge, right?

Kami: Who's in charge..im not sure.

*everyone laughs*

J: He doesn't even know?! Maybe you're a cheater because you're not even real?!

Kami: Some people say that about me.

J: Ok, prove to us now that you're real. At least, show us something that you've achieved. If not...if i mention it now, we've never seen you in person since the start, you just came down from the sky, and we just thought you were a god.

K: He just came all of a sudden, right?

J: Right! We've don't even have any proof that you're a god. We've had no choice but to believe you.

Kami: I'll refer it to prosecutors.

J: Eh? What do you mean?

T: Scary!

Kami: As defamation.

*laughing*

J: Oh, if we say stuff about you?

Kami: Yes, yes, its defamation. Bad luck for Joe.

J: Eh? Really? ...by the way, how for would you tolerate people badmouthing you, Kami?

Kami: Badmouthing?

J: Are there any insults where you think, 'This is really awful!'?

Kami: No, the things that are said about me are, im no big deal, that im unreliable, not in existence, or useless. That type of thing..'he's a cheater' and such. 

J: I see.

T: Now that you mention it, thats sometimes said about Tokyo Sports too.

J: Yeahh

T: 'Go under'.

Kami: Yeh, its like Tokyo Sports.

J: Do people really say that to you? But you said before, right? Apart from the date, everthing is false. *everyone laughing*. Thats amazing, you can sell papers and make money like that? Is Tokyo Sports originally just like fake news?

T: Well, people all over the world like a good story don't they?

J: I see. Well, it excells in the field of sports newspapers. Tokyo Sports has tonnes of fans, doesn't it?

T: Yeah

K: Tokyo Sports is like, the different one.

J: Yes, its different.

T: Well, im grateful..

J: Really!

T: On the other hand, we aren't respected. The level of respect we get is really low. *the others laugh* But I want to keep eating, so I'll recommend it.

J: Ah, ok. Are you hiring..at Tokyo Sports?

T: No, not really.

J: You're not?

Kami: A normal newspaper puts articles out, right?

T: Yeah.

Kami: But Tokyo Sports is creative.

J: Ahh, yes. They are stories, right?

Kami: Very much like a god.

J: Tokyo Sports like a god?!

T: Will you come and work for us, Kami?..hourly rate 25% bonus.

J: Ohh, 1250yen!

K: What will you make him do?!

Kami: Hmm, hmmm.

T: He could start with cleaning the toilets.

Kami: A night shift would be more money. *laughs*

J: Kami, how about cleaning Tokyo Sports' toilets?

Kami: It would be an outrageous guy who makes a god clean the toilets.

J: No, that would be the real Toilet God*6.

K: ?!...You were aiming with that!

J: Err, yeh...kinda.

*everyone laughing*

K: It seemed on purpose

J: No, no, it just came to me. I thought it would be too good.

T: You sounded serious.

J:I've been exposed...I took a deep breath before I said it. My shoulders moved.

K: His face looks so camp now....Ok, well, lets finish up here. Err, everyone, please subscribe  to this...show?

J: This channel.

K: Please subscribe to this channel..See you next time.

*1 Im not massively good at Japanese slurs.

*2,3 Couldn't catch these bits.

*4 He spoke so fast it all kind blurred onto one, difficult to understand.

*5 He's running off a list of slurs which his listener sent to him. Im not advanced enough in Japanese slurring to grasp each individual one.

*6 There is a toilet god in Japanese folklore, have a google :)