#when kong does not make eye contact

[ruubesz-draws]

Kong takes drastic(?) measures...

Godzilla is confused (and uncomfortable)

Fun fact! Apparently, gorillas avoid eye contact unless they want a fight lmao.

Please read this post for more context

*DO NOT REPOST MY ART*

[inferno-0]

Shimo x (human?) reader (Headcanons)

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English is not my first language

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❆ Shimo is actually a very good girl. It just needs time to adapt to the outside world as well as in the hollow ground.

❆ I think she will be curious about people, because this is the first time she has seen such small creatures.

Most likely, he will protect them in the same way as Kong.

❆ Shimo is essentially an affectionate puppy.

She'll love your touch on her, even though you're too small. She will reach out to you if she trusts you.

❆ As for trust. Although she is curious, she will not immediately make contact. Thousands of years under torturous control have taken their toll. Shimo, I say it again, it takes time.

❆ This Titan won't stop poking his muzzle into your body if he loves you. Stroke it wherever you want.

The eyelids, around the nostrils, the jaw, it's all yours. The main thing is to be gentle. Shimo still turns a blind eye to the sudden movements.

❆ Spending the summer season with her is the most blissful. Too hot? Ok. This ice princess will cool down any place for you, just don't hesitate to ask.

❆ Sometimes he can take you for a ride on his back. Of course, she's worried about you. Have you seen its dimensions? It is unlikely that she will sense your fall from her icy ledges. If only a piercing scream.

That's why you're more likely to sit on her muzzle, grabbing the blue crown

❆ Her eyes are always open in surprise when walking with you. Any story from you is very interesting for her. And when you show her something, for example, the same sunset or a dark starry sky, her fairy-tale gaze cannot tear itself away from this process.

She literally freezes in place and can't accept that she can now look at it every day.

❆ Sometimes she calls you.

She's just glad to see you by her side. At such a moment, she really feels free.

❆ She is still haunted by nightmares that cause her to freeze everything around her. That's why you try to calm her down until she freezes you.

Based on this, Shimo does not let you near him while sleeping.

❆ Godzilla surprisingly doesn't look for the two of you on earth. Considering his previous attack on Kong, this time he most likely understood what was going on and did not bother your pleasant pastime.

Although the first time he sailed to the place where you were sitting, he did nothing wrong.

He just yelled until Shimo intervened.

You are proud of your lovely woman.

❆ Shimo as Mothra is also very protective. If she finds out that something has happened to you, she will not find a place for herself. She won't rest until she finds you.

Just don't disturb her or make her worry.

❆ Shimo just deserves love. Hug her and give her compliments, praise her. Anything.

She needs it.

In return, she will give you a love you didn't know.

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[freakshowtwopointoh]

All Bets Are Off

@pinkcrocss suggested this and i had to

“I don’t think the two of you could be closer to each other unless you were literally in each other's skin.” Andre teased, watching as Marie and Jordan readjusted their limbs once more.

“We’re not trying to get closer, we’re trying to get comfortable. The human body is a burden.” Jordan complained, shifting Marie’s body slightly to a better position.

“The two of you are essentially attached at the hip, I’m surprised your brains and bodies haven’t merged together.” Emma added. “You’re lucky I like you, Jordan. Considering you basically stole my best friend and roommate.” That got her a stuffed turtle thrown at her head. “Hey!”

“We’re not that clingy.” Marie protested, but it was such a boldfaced lie that the entire room burst into laughter, Marie and Jordan included.

“I don’t think you guys could manage a day without contacting each other.” Cate teased. And Jordan knew a challenge when they heard one, especially from Cate. Marie gave them a slight nod and they grinned despite the racing of their heart.

“Wanna bet?” Jordan asked, a smirk playing on their lips. And so, the bet was on. From midnight tonight to midnight next Monday, Marie and Jordan weren’t allowed to contact each other. Eye contact or brief conversation in public is permitted, but no texting or calls, and absolutely no touching. The winner takes everyone out that weekend. 

Marie and Jordan would pretend that it was no big deal, which was how the bet ended up lasting for a full week. The rest of the crew had money on who would cave first.

Place Your Bets Here (Emma, Sam, Cate, Luke, Andre)

jumanji: i dont think jor will make it past day 4

cricket: r u kidding? they wont make it past day 2. trust me, i live with marie. theyre always around

magneto: i think we’re all underestimating jordans stubbornness. i think marie will almost make it, but give in after jor does something reckless and she goes to yell at them

cricket: marie might be willing to die (or kill) for jordan but she’d never willingly lose a bet to them.

fuego: tbh i think they’re both too stubborn to give in but they will make it our problem during this week and after

jumanji: yeah id bet extra money that jor will spend at least one night this week in my dorm

kong: [liked cricket’s message]

kong: [liked cricket’s message]

It would take less than twenty four hours for both Marie and Jordan to begin to feel the struggle. For Jordan, it was like a persistent itch under their skin. They scrolled through her minimal social media constantly, or flipping through their camera roll just to see her perfect, sunshiney smile. It was marginally better when they were in the same room as her, but that tested their discipline in a whole different way. They were acutely aware of her every move. It took everything in them to keep their eyes on the board. Their notes were... non-existent. 

Marie had the opposite problem. Life was boring without Jordan, but she knew boring. She could handle boredom. But being in the same room as them and not speaking to them? Not touching them? She could barely look at them. Their eyes were always on her, piercing through her, so obviously wanting her. How was she supposed to stay away from those eyes? She barely looked at Instagram, and came close to changing her lock screen just to avoid the temptation. 

This was going to be a long week.

By the third day, Jordan had walked up to Marie’s dorm before walking away three times, and nearly called her countless times. They had also snapped five pens and three pencils while attempting to focus. 

Cate opened her door before Jordan even knocked.

“I’m surprised it took you this long. Come in.” She said lightly, a small smile on her lips.

“I’m actually going fucking insane. Like honest-to-god, I swear I hallucinated her voice in the library earlier. What has this girl done to me?” Jordan flopped back on Cate’s bed, ignoring her irritated look. 

“You’re just in love.” She said casually, finishing taking off her makeup as Jordan spoke.

“That’s worse, Cate! Don’t you see how that’s worse? I’m not prepared for this.” Their legs shortened suddenly, leaving their feet dangling off the edge of Cate’s bed as they shifted.

“Jordan Li. Did you think you could plan falling in love?” Cate admonished, looking directly into the eyes of her anxious friend.

“I thought I could plan it a bit easier than this!” They whined.

“Maybe you are insane. Do you schedule your other feelings?” She teased. 

“... Sometimes.” Cate shook her head and chuckled.

“Jor, stop fighting your feelings and feel them.” She said seriously, before deftly changing the subject.

Marie was in even deeper denial than Jordan. She refused to admit to Emma that she was coming close to losing the bet - even when it was painfully obvious.

“Marie. Marie. Maaaaaaaaarie.” Finally, she resorted to throwing a pillow at her head. “Stop daydreaming about Jordan and help me film this video for my class.”

“I don’t daydream. I’m thinking.” She retorted, but she was clearly staring at Jordan’s hoodie, which was draped over a chair.

“Yeah, sure. And I’m a math whiz. Now help me.” Emma teased, grabbing Marie’s arm and dragging her out of the chair. She would have an enjoyable evening helping Emma with her homework, but night came and she dialed Jordan’s number for the millionth time before turning her phone off and trying to sleep.

But as it turned out, no one could have predicted the outcome of this bet - the two lovebirds were so distracted trying not to think about the other that they walked directly into each other outside of Brink’s office. Fumbling over their things, handing books and papers back to each other, their fingers brushed and it was all over.

“Fuck this.” they muttered in unison. Jordan helped Marie up before sliding their hand directly into hers and dragging her back to their dorm.

"I missed you, Moreau." Jordan mumbled against Marie's lips, their hands cupping her face. She hummed contentedly, resting her hand on the nape of their neck and keeping them close to her.

They took their time with each other, relearning every curve and edge of their bodies. Marie's skin was covered in hickies and bite marks, a blossoming masterpiece that Jordan could not get enough of. She was theirs. It was addictive. They just couldn't get enough of each other. And every small gasp or moan Jordan made sent desire coursing through Marie, a reminder of the power she held over them.

But Jordan couldn't be kept from between Marie's legs for much longer. Her body was incredibly responsive, arching into every touch. They needed to taste her again, feel her come entirely undone for them. They let their tongue trace along her inner thighs, feeling their own arousal surge as she moaned softly.

"Jor, please-" She whined as their tongue teased her wet folds. They smirked, sinking their long fingers into the flesh of her ass, pulling her closer.

"Patience, princess." They said huskily, unable to keep from teasing her a little longer. But finally, their tongue brushed against her clit, causing her body to buck into their mouth. A dark, lustful laugh came from Jordan's throat before they dove in, their lips wrapping around her clit.

Jordan could honestly spend their whole life between Marie's legs, making her whimper, moan, and cry just for them, putting their mouth and tongue to work. But when she cums for the third time, that perfect, fucked out look in her eyes, they can't help themselves. They're shifting without thinking, pulling away from her center and pulling out their cock.

"Fuck, Marie, I need to feel that tight cunt wrapped around me, right now." They groaned, pushing her back fully onto the bed before they pushed themself inside of her cunt, still dripping with her most recent orgasm.

They were both screaming each other's names all night long.

They’d both say the other broke the bet first. Their friends were just glad they didn’t have to deal with the couple’s pouting for a full week.

[blackbat05]

Off Course

Rick Flag x Reader

Plot: Rick does everything in his power to find you, even if it means going off course again.

A/N: Research recruitment is stressing me out so... here is the product of my stress? Please excuse my brain as I wrote this in one go🤡

Genre: PG-13

"I have to find her, Harley." Rick packs the last of his belongings into a backpack, putting a cap on his head. "It's because of me, she's missing. Please understand."

She twirls her strawberry-blonde hair, following him like a lost puppy. As Rick prepares to leave, she plants herself in front of the door, arms outstretched.

"Harley..."

"I'm not stopping you from leaving, stupid." She says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "When you find her, you'll need this," She places the rumpled picture into this hand.

"Thank you."

"Hey, anything for a friend."

***

Kowloon, Hong Kong

It's difficult, but Rick succeeds anyways. No one knows that he disobeyed orders to carry out a mission on his own. He slips through the bustling crowd, carefully navigating his way around according to the intel given by a local contact he met two days ago.

Laughter fills his ears and he sees couples and families lining the street stalls. He can't lose focus now.

Turning into a smaller alleyway, he continues straight before hitting a dead end. He compares the photo with the run-down shop. Rick hopes that he'll get results.

Pushing the door open with a loud creek, he can't help but shiver at the sight of stained blood painted on the walls. It didn't matter if it used to be a butcher shop, there was something sinister about this place.

Rick sees a set of stairs that lead to the basement. His soldier instincts are screaming for him to retreat but he moves towards it. If there's any chance... he has to take it.

As he descends the stairs, Rick strains his ears to alert him of any activity. He hears a couple of weak whimpers.

Drawing out his service weapon, he raises it in front, preparing himself for whatever he was about to find.

"Please... I have children... I won't tell anyone about this if you let me go."

Rick waits in hiding and sees a pudgy figure stepping out in an apron. He forces himself to stay calm at the sight of the pig mask that the man was wearing.

"Pyg will make you perfect again... Pyg will rid of all imperfections!"

What a psycho.

Rick's had enough. He starts to make a move from his hiding place. He clicks his gun, before putting it to the man's head.

"Drop it before I blow your sorry brains out."

The Professor snorts, breaking out into uncontrollable wheezing. Rick forces the tip of the gun on his temple, showing that he meant business. Oh hell, what was he even doing here? He shouldn't be making the same mistake again.

A man that couldn't turn a blind eye to people in need of help.

"What a pleasure to finally meet the Colonel himself in the flesh!" Pyg squeals. "How about I introduce you to my children?"

Rick finds himself being hit squarely in the jaw by one of Pyg's victims. He forces the image of what the demented psychopath has done to them. He had bigger issues at hand. Sure, they were lobotomized but they were still civilians. He couldn't make a move.

"Heads up!"

A black figure zooms from above before kicking the Professor in the head, knocking him unconscious.

"Looks like I'm late to the party again."

Rick is given a pistol.

"They’re pellets that I designed. Enough to knock them out but it won't kill them."

The Colonel didn't need an invitation. Together, the two had swiftly taken out every hostile with ease. Soon, he stands over a pile of unconscious bodies. The mystery person gets off the phone and Rick moves toward them. Maybe they have some clues.

"Hey, thank you for saving me back there." The person looks at him impassively through their mask. Rick feels at a loss but he has to try anyways, he has wasted too much time deviating off course. He thought he would find you here.

"I was trying to find someone but I ended up in this mess," he gestures, chuckling a little at his current predicament. "I was hoping you could help me to find this person." Rick proceeds to take the photo from his pocket-

"You mean this girl?" The person holds up the familiar photo.

"What? How did you?"

The person removes their mask, and Rick is frozen on the spot. You stand in front of him, heavily battle-scared, tears rolling down your cheeks.

"You dumbass." You sniffled. "You could never walk away from a person in need could you?"

Rick snaps out of his shock, striding over to give you a big embrace. He buries himself into the crook of your neck, refusing to let you go. He is afraid that if he tries to see your face, you'll disappear.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes. "I'm so sorry... if I didn't leave you back then..."

"Rick, I'm here." You gently look into his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere." Dredging up old memories that would only hurt both of you was useless. Besides, you never blamed him. In fact-

"I knew you would come and find me eventually."

The sound of sirens pierced through the air. You turn to him and smile.

“Perhaps we should take this somewhere else. We do have a lot to catch up on, don’t we?”

[eraneyco]

why peach adhd (first post)

ok so look:

when shes talking to her toads, both in the throne room and before taking off in a journey with mario, he uses a LOT of body language, which leaders use it to persuade. But the curious part is that she often makes fists. either for just lifting her arms up and making fists, to when she's exited (happened two times) she usually punches in the air or at people. she does this 6 times througout the movie. Usually her fists are confidence and exitement.

as illumination usually does, they make characters look more humane and give them a lot of body language

second thing is invasion of personal privacy (if it wasnt for her abilities and eye contact i would headcannon her as auDHD)

when she first meets mario, ok, i accept it, everyone gets exited after like 20 years of you being the only human, but theres a dialogue that still lingers my mind.

Is when she accepts marios request of mario to him acompaning her to save his brother and beat bowser, she confidently says "lets see what you're made of" and mario asks if thats a yes? and she says "no, its a "lets see what youre made of". Then when talking to mario she is a TERRIBLE liar, and in the kong kingdom when cranky mentions the secret shortcut, she gets exited saying that they take the route and AMBUSH THEM!!!!!!!!! with cranky saying "yeah I know :/" which this i intrepret that she doesnt understand sarcasm or lies, a symptom for the tism, idk if its the same for adhd lol.

Another thing is impulsiveness. she as a princess should know more than anyone what to say and what better keep quiet, and still tells mario small 2 times. Also when she first meets him, she is really exited and starts to invade mario's privacy when she says something interesting "wait wait, lets go back" it depends on the person to intrepret what does this mean. i think that this situation has happened to her a lot of times, she gets too carried away she forgets what she was there in the first time. also when mario is explaining her his situation peach wanted to still touch him but bro stopped her

Also a fun fact brought by my psychologist (she headcannons peach as adhd too lmao) is her eye movement. If you pay attention closely you can see that her eyes never stay still, that yeah, it may be for everyone in the movie and im just going crazy, or it could be her personality trait of thinking. Usually when people think they look down, up, you name it. And this goes well for peach since shes always planning and thinking. Her quick thinking and planning idk i just like to bring this up.

[hrodvitnon]

The gang is playing 'never have I ever'.

Maia: Oh, I got one! Never have I ever been someone else's first time.

Basically all the Titans put one finger down.

Ling: Jeez, really? Pretty intense for a first time.

Goji: I know right??

Ling: You say that like it's happened multiple times.

Goji: Understatement of the century. Especially with guys, shockingly.

Mothra: Can you blame them? I know I can't.

Maia: But like- practically speaking...

Goji: This again? If I didn't know better, Miss Simmons, I'd think you really like talking about my-

Ilene Chen: Here I thought we were going to aspire to be normal for at least an hour...

Whilst they argue about what constitutes as normal on Infant Island, Vivienne takes note of a certain firebird tapping his fingers quickly in regards to this subject and being very uncharacteristically silent. She gets a devilish idea when it's her turn.

Vivienne: Never have I ever had my backdoor virginity taken by Godzilla.

She says this while looking directly at Rodan. He looks like he wants to rip her throat out in that moment.

Godzilla: Hah, good one. Happened to more people here than you'd think...

Rodan: Fuckin dirty move, Viv.

Vivienne: I expect to hear everything you can remember about this later.

Rodan puts down one of his last two fingers so the only one up is his middle finger. Mothra and Shimo put one down as well. Then, Kong tries to sneak down one without anyone noticing. Andrews does, however.

Andrews: No way. When??

Kong: Three days ago...

Goji: Mhm~

Goji winks at Kong while the ape avoids eye contact.

Ling: Who's turn next?

Goji: Oooh, no. Someone's lying...

He stares directly into Ghidorah. The hydra glares daggers and snarls back.

Maia & Vivienne: No fucking way.

Goji: Put it down, Ichi.

Ghidorah: Fuckin assholes.

Goji: Yes, yes I did.

Ichi: You know, it wouldn't be nearly the literal pain in the ass it is if it wasn't for that fucking knot!

Goji, faux shock: Gasp. That's not what I heard when it happened.

Maia, snuggling up to San: If it's any consolation, you're braver than I am. And it gave me good reason to pamper you after the fact!

San, happy purring: It did~

[Rodan and Kong cuddle with their respective mates, seeing as something similar happened with them. Ichi and Ni scowl at the lack of cuddling they get, look at the Chen sisters.]

Ilene: No.

Ling: You're both hot, but...

Ni: Grrr... okay, here's one. Never have I ever gotten pegged by a human!

Rodan, lowers finger: Heheheh...

Ichi: ...why are you looking at me like that?

Rodan: First off, because it feels REALLY good, so I ain't about to complain. Secondly, give it a try. I'm sure it'll make things much friendlier if you bend over for the Bone Doctor, if she's willing. Be careful though. She bites.

[Rodan proudly shows off the claiming bite marks on his neck. Ichi and Ni stare at Vivienne in vague fear. Vivi stares at them, unblinking, sipping her tea.]

[sl-newsie]

Query: Q x 00 Agent- Ch. 3: Whatever It Takes

The next day I have to head back to MI6 for one last training session, where I run into Bond.

“You’re off to Hong Kong now?” I pant as I dab my sweaty face off.

Bond gives a stiff nod. “And you, little Levie, are off to Ireland. I’m guessing Q treated you well, Mrs. White?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Haha, very funny. Did you think I’d like him because he’s younger?”

The older agent simply shrugs and the gleam in his eye is undisguisable.

“Bravo, Bond. You’ve still got a sense of humor.”

We keep walking to the office space in a comfortable silence. “Joking aside, congratulations on your first solo mission,” Bond says sincerely. “It’s a big moment for you. Still, I’ll be sad to not have you with me. You’re one of my favorite partners.”

I playfully punch his shoulder. “Because I keep your ego in check?”

“Because you’re the only one I treat like a sister.”

I grin. “Aw. Big brother’s going to miss me.”

Once we’ve gotten to the office center we both spot Q, Eve, and M waiting for us.

“Say goodbye, Bond.” M instructs. “This may be the last time you two see each other.”

Bond and I exchange looks. I must say I am nervous about being on my own, but Bond’s prepared me well.

“Good luck, Bond. The whole force is counting on you, no pressure.”

“Goodbye, Levie.” Bond gives my hand a sturdy shake. “You don’t need luck, because I know you’ll do brilliant. You’re still young, but healthily spirited. Just don’t let your heart get in the way.”

With that, he follows M down the hall and for the first time we go our separate ways. 

“Is he still mad at me for shooting him?” Eve asks.

“Hasn’t mentioned it, at least not to me. But I do know one thing:” I look up with a slightly defiant demeanor. “If I had been on that mission with Bond, I would have jumped off that bridge after him. I don’t care what M says, I don’t leave a man behind.” I look at Q and ask: “When do I leave for Ireland?”

“In one hour. I will quickly brief you on a few last minute updates on your way to the airport.”

“You won't be accompanying me, husband?” I bring up the repeating joke as we start walking out.

It either flies over his head or he ignores it. “I don’t like flying.”

“It’s rather accelerating,” I comment as we enter a company SUV. “You should try it again. It makes you think.”

Q sets his face straight and begins looking through some paper files in his bag. “I can do much better thinking at home with my cats.”

Huh. Nerd guy who sits at a computer desk with cats. Who knew?

“You seem like a cat person. I respect that.”

Q accepts my statement with a small grin. “At least there’s one person who does.”

The quick trip through the airport flashes by, and soon enough I’m seated in first class and headed off to Ireland. From what Q tells me, I am to penetrate a secret lab and retrieve a formula for a new type of cyanide. Not as extreme as Bond’s assignment, but I’m still excited. Over the flight, Q apparently took the liberty of placing a few audio books in my bag.

“Hello, 0011. Or Levie, as Bond called you. I still prefer Mrs. White. I’ve recorded a few history books to entertain you for the duration of your flight, because I picture you as more of a history fan rather than a science geek such as myself. Your options are: The American Revolution, World War II, or the Spanish Civil War.”

I chose World War II and am surprised to find that I actually enjoy Q lecturing about history. Something about his voice makes it seem like a hobby rather than a chore. Maybe it’s because he’s younger? Why am I becoming friends with my Quartermaster?

In an hour I arrive in Dublin and meet up with my contact at a local pub called The Cobblestone. He’s a local Paddy with a thick accent, who tells me that the best way for me to sneak into the lab is through the sewer tunnels much to my distaste.

“What I’m wondering is why a lass like you is charged with this mission,” the man thinks out loud.

I down the whiskey I’ve ordered and narrow my eyes. “Don’t underestimate a 00 agent.”

Nighttime falls and my nerves are a jumbled mess. Unlike Bond I don’t always dress in fancy attire for missions. Instead I’m sporting a long-sleeved black jumpsuit with dress flats. Less stylish, but effective. I station myself a few yards from the sewer entrance outside the lab. After I put in my earpiece both M and Q’s voices ring in my ear.

“Voice check, please,” Q requests.

“Good evening lady and gentleman. Tonight’s forecast calls for one 00 agent and the loss of one cyanide formula. Possible celebration may be sighted in the morning.”

“Very cute,” Q replies dryly. “I expect you’re dressed for the occasion?”

I smirk from behind the tree I’m using to hide. “Wouldn’t you like to know, dear?”

“Can we cut the jibber jabber and focus?” M states harshly. “0011, are you in position?”

My agent instincts kick in and I stiffen up. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. You are clear to proceed.”

Thankfully the sewer entrance doors aren’t locked, but I wish it didn’t smell so putrid. It seems luck is on my side because there are no lights to expose my location. However there is one security camera.

“Q, I’d very much appreciate it if you could disable the camera.”

On the other end I hear the nerd chuckle. “Oh? I thought you liked drawing attention to yourself.”

“Just kill the bloody camera!”

He does so without another word and soon the blinking light on the camera dies. I keep scrolling through the checklist in my mind of everything I need to accomplish, deciding that I can continue on. Once I scale down the ladder into the inky darkness I switch on my night vision contact lenses. I have a few rat friends to accompany me but other than that there’s no security here. 

“Now go to your right for about 50 paces, then turn left,” Q voices in my ear.

“0011, there appears to be a maximum of only 5 guards in the area you will be infiltrating,” M adds. 

Only 5? Bond and I have a record of taking out 50 in 10 minutes. But a rookie mission is a rookie mission.

Now I’ve arrived at a small door. Still no sign of trouble.

“This leads to the boiler room,” Q informs. “No human heat signatures detected.”

There’s just one problem: the door’s lock is far beyond crackable. Normally Bond is the one for cracking locks while I stand watch, but it’s time to be adaptable. Somewhere in my pocket- I think there’s…

“0011, what’s taking so long?” M asks.

“Trying to bust the lock. Ever heard of liquid nitrogen?”

I take out a small vial and tilt it to apply the cold substance over the lock. After a few moments the metal freezes over, and after a hard kick it shatters to the floor.

“All done.”

I burst through the door holding my pistol and search for any threats in the boiler room. Only a few leaky faucets. 

“We can’t scramble all the cameras in the building. You should be on their radar now. If anyone asks, you are here for an appointment with Dr. Lambert,” M says. “Mention Project Ares.”

“Seems like a rather late appointment,” I comment as I make my way up the stairs and out of the room. “Where to now?”

Q speaks up. “Turn left, then take the elevator to the 5th level.”

Right as rain, the elevator is right down the hall. Unfortunately I’m not the only one riding it. There’s one older man and a younger woman who appears to be a secretary.

“Going up?” The woman asks.

“Yes, please.”

I hope for there to be no conversation on our ascent but am proven unlucky.

“That’s a lovely necklace,” the man comments.

“Thank you. It’s a gift from my husband.” I finger the blue pendant, letting it comfort my nerves.

"You're not wearing a ring?"

"I'm afraid I lost it a few weeks ago."

“Where do you work?” the secretary inquires.

I keep a steady smile. “I don’t work here. I’m visiting on account of my boss to visit Dr. Lambert.”

This surprises the older man. “Really? I didn’t think Norman took appointments this late.”

“It’s a special case. For Project Ares.”

This quiets both people and we ride the rest of the way in silence. Obviously Project Ares is a big deal. The elevator drops me off at the 5th floor and I give a wave goodbye to the two employees. 

“I’m on the 5th level.”

“Good. Now go straight until you see a door marked X,” Q says.

I walk a few feet down and sure enough there’s a door with a large X on the front. You’d think this project would be hidden better. This lock may pose another issue because it’s activated by a fingerprint-

“Miss? What are you doing here?” A voice asks.

I keep my cool and pivot to find a man in a lab coat walking towards me. He looks to be in his mid-thirties, with light brown hair and a little stubble. Must be a scientist.

“Ah, yes. I was looking for Dr. Lambert. It’s about Project Ares.”

The man’s face lights up. “You must be the reporter! Yes yes, come in!”

He strides past me and swipes a card to open the door, gesturing for me to follow him. This seems too easy. The room I enter is obviously a lab, one filled with many different vials and chemistry equipment.

“Are you in?” M asks in my ear.

“I had a little help,” I whisper to keep discreet from the man behind me. “What am I looking for?”

“A test tube full of the new formula,” Q says. “Any amount of a sample. Who helped you in?”

“One of the project scientists. He thinks I’m a reporter.”

“Over here!” The man in question beckons me over to a table that displays a rack of test tubes. “My name is Watson, by the way. Daniel Watson in case you’re going to include me. But I don’t care for fame, I only want to help with the progress of science.”

Aw. I’m beginning to feel sad for stealing from you.

“Is this the new cyanide formula I heard about?” I try to sound unbearably dumb.

“Indeed it is! This is our company’s most recent accomplishment, one we boys in the lab are extremely proud of. Its symptoms are quick to take over the body’s cardiovascular system and can go undetected through drug screens.”

Thank God I have a pencil and small pad of paper in my pocket so I actually look like a reporter. I write down all highlights of his lecture while side-eyeing the tubes within an arm's reach. So close! 

“Do you have any other questions?”

I zoom back to focus on Watson, trying to think of a way to sneak a vial… What would Bond do? Huh. There’s no question about what he would do. Whatever it takes to make them lower their guard.

“No, I don’t think so,” I use a more airy voice as I bat my eyelashes at the scientist. “Thank you so much, Watson! My boss will love hearing about this!” I put away my pad of paper and saunter over to the blushing man. “How can I ever repay the favor?”

He shakes his head frantically. “No, that’s not necessary. Achievement through science is it’s own reward.”

Now I’ve got him trapped against the counter. “That’s not always enough. Maybe just one kiss?”

Before he can decline I press a firm kiss to his lips, rendering him speechless. In a split-second I look to see that he has his eyes closed, right as I slip a vial into my chest pocket. When I pull away, Watson still can’t find words to say.

“Thanks again, Watson!” I wave as I strut out. “Q, M, I have it. Ready for a quick exit before they ring the alarm.”

“Right. This time you’re going to use the stairs, a few paces down to your right,” Q states.

Is it just me or is he acting a bit differently?

“Everything alright, Quartermaster?” I ask as I begin my descent.

“Peachy. Will you please continue with the mission?”

“I thought I was. Did I do something wrong?”

He doesn’t answer, which just makes me even more curious. By now I’m at the 2nd floor-

Beep! Beep! Beep!

“Bad news, folks. Watson turned traitor on me.”

“Who?” Q asks with disgust.

“Doesn’t matter. Right now I have to get out.”

“I just detonated an explosive on the south side of the building to cover your exit window. You're welcome.”

My eyebrows raise in surprise. “Thanks very much, chap. Remind me to repay the favor someday.”

“B squad, you check the bottom levels. We’ll get the upper floors!” Voices shout from below.

Uh-oh. Looks like I’ll have to take a detour to the ground floor. I make a dash for the exit and find multiple security guards scurrying all throughout the hall. The lobby is only a few yards away-

“Miss! Quick, there’s been a security breach. You must get evacuated and head home immediately,” one man in a suit informs me.

I play dumb. “Oh my goodness! What happened?”

“A bomb exploded at the end of the property so we’re evacuating all staff. Now hurry!”

Pretending to be in a jumbled panic like everyone else, I flock down the hall and am almost there-!

“Hold up! Where’s your badge?” One guy stops me just before I reach the lobby. A college jock if I ever saw one.

“Well, you see sir,” I bat my eyelashes. “I was having a private meeting with one of your employees that shall go unnamed. That’s how my business works. Technically I’m not supposed to be here, but he needed some stress relief, if you catch my drift. Do you think you could possibly look the other way and let me slip out?”

Lord save my soul. I can’t even register my own words as they pour almost too easily from my mouth. I really have learned a lot from Bond. And it must work, because the young guard is now looking at me with a new-found hunger.

“I dunno about that, but I’ll let it slide if you use that pretty mouth of yours to give me a little loving.”

It’s all I can do not to vomit. “Very well.” I take his hand and lead him to a nearby closet, locking the door behind me. “One kiss, one favor? Sounds enchanting.” I give him a blunt punch to the head and he drops to the ground, out cold. “But I’ve already had my date for the evening.”

I hide him behind a crate and sprint for the lobby, speeding through the door into the cool night air towards the rendezvous point for my getaway. Once I’ve cleared the hill and the lab is out of sight I relax. Finally! I’ve done it! My first mission-!

Bam!

The shot rings out and I stop dead in my tracks. The blood is already dripping down my pant leg. I’ve been lucky to have been shot only twice before, both in the arm. But this is my first leg injury. And I don’t like it.

The guard who’s holding the gun is standing a short distance behind me. “I won’t miss next time. You seemed unfamiliar when I saw you earlier. Now tell me, who are you? And don’t bother trying to sell the whole reporter scheme. Tell me who you’re working for!”

Bond wouldn’t have gotten into this. Think, think! 

I kneel down and make it seem as if I’m surrendering, then-

“Ah!”

My knife, Mrs. White, lands perfectly in the center of the guard’s chest. Thanks, Q. He topples over and, with what force I can muster with a shot leg, I jog over and knock him out cold. That’s one check off the list. But my adrenaline is wearing off and the injury’s starting to get to me.

“Q? M? Anybody copy?” I grunt as I keep walking, wanting to get to the rendezvous point as quickly as possible.

“Q here. Sorry about that, got caught up with Bond’s radio call. What’s up?”

“Agent wounded. I’ve been shot in the thigh, losing blood fast. How far away is the car?”

It’s like I flipped a switch when I said ‘shot,’ because now Q’s manner has definitely changed.

“I see your position. Keep going straight for another 50 yards, and whatever you do don’t fall asleep. Is your head spinning?”

“Starting to. I’m not sure if the bullet nicked the femoral artery, but I’m fresh out of tourniquets.”

“Stay calm, keep your breathing steady. Do you think you can last?”

I try to give a laid-back chuckle but it turns into a short coughing fit, bringing up specs of blood on my hand. “You should know, Quartermaster, that my intentions as a 00 agent keep me motivated to keep going until I literally die? Yes, I can last.”

Q is quiet for a time, leaving me to notice how heavy my breathing has gotten. My leg feels numb now, which cannot be a good thing.

“Are you still there?”

“Yes,” I answer in a tired voice. “Would you mind chatting with me so I can ignore death?”

“I’d think that you would have kicked death in the crotch by now,” Q jokes lightheartedly. “You’re almost there, just a few more yards. Don’t mess up, or you’ll be the first agent to die under my watch.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m going to rub my victory in your face when I get back.”

“There’s the 0011 I remember,” he groans. “Just get back alive.”

I’d really like to, but my head’s starting to feel even more dizzy. So much for a flawless first solo mission. Is this really how I’m going to go out? Slowly bleeding to death? I’d hoped my death would be something dramatic. Should I say goodbye to everyone? It would mean I’m accepting defeat, but I’d be disappointed not say farewell to my few friends. Bond, Eve, the other 00s, M- Q? Is Q my friend? That would be the first time I’ve been friends with my Quartermaster. It’s not like he’s unlikeable, only annoying at times. Annoying, witty, attractive-

The new thought makes me go into another coughing fit. Q, attractive? My blood loss is clearly making me delusional. He’s mildly cute at best. Wait- no. Why am I cogitating about his appealing looks? Just keep focused and stay alive!

“Q, I’m starting to see spots.” I look behind and see a pathetic trail of blood behind me.

“You’re almost there. Do you see the car yet?”

“I see a bright light-”

“No! Not that one-!”

“Just kidding. Yes, I see it.”

Q sighs. “Shut your trap and get in the bloody car before I tell them to leave you behind.”

I try to laugh but end up spitting up more blood. Now the driver of the black Jeep sees me limping towards her and she rushes over to help.

“Are you 0011?”

“Yeah. Or at least I’ll stay that way if I can stay alive.”

“Stay calm, miss! I’m going to get the stretcher-”

“Forget it. If I can walk this far I can walk 10 more feet to the back of the car.”

The driver quickly opens the rear food and I climb inside with what little strength I have left. As soon as I’m seated my eyes begin to droop and she panics.

“No, no sleeping! We need to get your wound dressed…”

Her words are drowned out by my building fatigue, and soon all I can hear is my faint heartbeat as I start to drift off. So close… Maybe if I wake up after this I’ll copy Bond and top it off with a drink…

[odditycircus-2002]

My Addition to the Monsterverse:

(Something I made back around 2018-2019)

There is a small girl on the sand. She has ragged looking dirty blonde hair, freckles across her nose, her face is scratched up and where there should be baby fat instead are sullen cheeks, she's wearing a soaked brown sweater and ragged gray skirt. No one is on the shore, well except for a certain 70-foot ape. He doesn't know how she ended up here, he just found her like this. This is a very unprecedented situation for Kong. What's he supposed to do? She's a small frail young human with no caretakers or any humans that he could see. Kong gently picks up the washed-up girl in his hand to take a closer look at her.

She feels cold but he can see her chest moving up and down, meaning she's still alive so there's still a chance to save her. The girl starts to shift in her sleep, groaning at the unfamiliar surface and humid air. Kong watches as she slowly opens her face and rubs her hands over her crusted eyes. She looks around her environment to see she's very high up and somewhere hot. Still groggy, she turns her gaze downward to see herself on the strange place she currently resting on, grey with some brown-looking fur peeking out at places. 

Her sleep-dazed self, reasons with herself to look up, which she does, coming in direct contact with the sun. Her face scrunches up as uses a hand to block out the merciless light that made her eyes feel like murder; she does adjust to it quickly when a large figure blocks it. The girl is able to make out a large orange eye that reminds her of the monkeys she would see in her mother's books and fires from hearths. She stands up unsteadily to reach up to her small boney hand towards Kong, to be sure what she's seeing isn't just another dream her mind made up. Kong moves his hand closer to his face, not wanting the girl to fall over just for trying to reach him. 

The girl places her hand on the large ape's cheek. It felt a bit dusty yet the soft fur made her curious enough to start rubbing it to feel more of the texture. She smiles and lets out a small giggle in happiness at the feeling which in turn made Kong give the girl a smile and for his expression to soften at the small innocent human, tears stinging the back of his eyes ; which ends too soon for him when she pulls away to look around her new surroundings.

Seeing she is in a new place and just escape from a hell on earth; she starts tearing up as she sat back down, although she didn't straight-up sob as she sits back down trying to use her damp sleeve to wipe the snot and tears away seeing those wouldn't really help her right now.

" Hhhuh? "

Kong groans out, looking at her with a tilt of his head. For an uncomfortable moment, he saw a much smaller and younger ape surrounded by the carnage he was born into, crying to the silent air but nobody heard. It passes when the little girl looks back up at the large ape with large teary hazel eyes. She then raises her hands up making strange gestures Kong didn't understand. She uses her left hand to make a fist with her thumb sticking out and makes a couple of circles on her chest going clockwise.

^ Sorry. ^

The girl then points to herself before lying the palm of her hand flat to her chest. Next, she uses her left index finger to tap it under her bottom lip and make a U motion away from her face.

^ I am lonely. ^ 

She then follows that up by moving an open hand to her right before pulling it back with her hand closed, before she then lays put hands flat on her chest as if she's having a heart attack.

^ And scared. ^

Kong didn't understand what the girl is trying to say but can guess she's feeling loud and clear. Kong knew this girl's young and vulnerable but he couldn't keep her! That would be too dangerous for this little girl, so lost, all alone in this cruel world. Just like he was...

 Kong then comes to the conclusion that will not let this girl die on his watch. He starts making his way through the jungle with the girl in his hand. She lets out a squeak of surprise at the movement so she clings to Kong's fingers in order to stay stable. Kong looks down at her in concern, but the girl only smiled in response before signing again.

^ I am fine. ^

Her expression falls as she takes in her new surroundings; instead of sandy beaches and rolling plains, there are tall trees and mountains around them. Everything seemed so much smaller from where she is, almost as if she were a giant like her new friend. Tapping at Kong's palm to get his attention, the girl shakes an index finger back and forth, then puts both index fingers by her face before pointing them outwards. 

^ You going where? ^

Kong points with his free hand towards a wall that's made with wooden spikes. The girl looks up at Kong with her big puppy eyes before putting her right fist over her left in an X in front of her body before making them go in opposite directions.

^ Safe? ^

She looks over tentatively over to the wall that had red spots here and there and with scratches made by something that looked to have big claws. Kong gently pats her head with his index finger before putting a hand to his chest as if to say " Trust me". The girl looks at Kong and then the wall before looking at Kong again and nodding her head. Kong gives a smile at the little person in his hand before making his way over to the wall.

[puniyo]

An idea for Kinnporsche S2…

There is no way that Khun Korn Theerapanyakul is doing the greater good out there. Besides believing Gun’s version more, I have the feeling that the bodyguard that shot Vegas (thank you Pete for killing him) came from Korn’s command. How come you ask the bodyguards to put back their weapons, you let Vegas go, you let Pete go, and then at the rawest moment between your nephew and family ex-bodyguard, someone shoots to death?

No, no, no. Korn for me has cemented is place as the villain here and he is really playing the whole chess game on his own, and his only his terms. So for season 2 of Kinnporsche (making a prayer circle), I would like it to start on Vegaspete. Not because they totally stole the show, but because we have the perfect opening scene.

Listen, listen. Imagine:

Macau goes out to buy something to eat for Pete (because our little monster likes really spicy food and Vegas cannot go out of the room). He has gone for a while, is checking his phone like any young man, and suddenly he is sort of caught and held prisoner, until Pete (reminder: one of the best bodyguards the main family had) kicks their ass and kills them. I want to see a ferocious Pete who will kill those who hurt his loved ones (also an opportunity to see more Build and Bible training shenanigans).

Pete doesn’t recognize these people but Macau somehow yes.

Pete realizes that if Macau is targeted, so is Vegas, and runs back to the hospital.

When he returns, there is someone pretending to be a doctor trying to kill Vegas (not that he deserves a punch right in the first episode but he should be punched). Needless to say, Pete does wonders again with his bare hands.

Discreetly, they escape the hospital.

Now, more things that can be explored:

They might go to the 2nd family safe house. Macau doesn’t know its location because he’s never been there. The main family doesn’t know too. Of course Mr. Spikes’ grave is still there and Vegas also goes for guilt trips when he remembers he tortured Pete (just because Bible excels at these brooding scenes).

Also queue to Macau cockblocking them MOST of the times (just because that’s Macau’s full-time job).

Pete might feel tempted to contact Porsche for help but Porsche is blind by Kinn’s magnum (the feeling is obviously mutual from Kinn), so they might not prove to be the best help. Actually, I want them to help so that later we can see how Korn is manipulating them and also having spies everywhere.

It is then time for Kinn to rebel about his father (finally!)

So who can they actually ask for help? *drum rolls* Enters Kim Kimhan, part-time detective and full-time Why don’t you stay emo. Interestingly, I can see he and Vegas bonding over, don’t ask me why.

Tankhun is also another one that, despite not leaving the house, spends his days trying to facetime or face calls with Pete just to cockblock them as well.

Arm and Pol becomes as thing (are they not already?).

International mafia – gets us someone from Hong Kong or Japan. Or both.

Give us the cliché “someone falls for” Pete and Vegas becomes jealous. Pete obviously only has eyes for Vegas but this leads to nicely done kinky moments (one can dream okay?).

I know this is for fun, but if really there is a season 2, I wished it would be darker and explore all the people they didn’t do much so far – Time, Tay, Tem, Pol, Arm, Tankhun, Macau. And obviously, Kinnporsche and Vegaspete. Give me the Kinn and Vegas cousin moments, and the Kinn and Kim brother moments that were, literally, non-existent.  

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: Clever Selfishness

I have always loved Cantonese cuisine because of its proximity to Hong Kong and because I read many articles about eating in Guangzhou when I was little. So in my childhood impressions, it has always been a gourmet paradise, an impression that continues to this day. Living in the north, it has always been very difficult to encounter authentic Cantonese restaurants until recently when I discovered several relatively authentic Cantonese restaurants that deliver food. This reminds me of a Cantonese businessman friend I met ten or twenty years ago. At that time, he would often stay in Beijing for a period of time. When he was in Beijing, he would come to me to ask some questions about Buddhist teachings, and we would talk about many topics, from how to make Cantonese-style morning tea to anecdotes about Buddhism in Guangdong and Hong Kong. Once when we were having tea, he told me about something that happened to him. In 2003, he made a donation to sponsor the construction of Buddha statues at a large temple, but due to some objective reasons, he did not want to make his name public. After making the payment, he called the person in charge and asked them to list his name as "Anonymous Donor". In the past, this is what he often did, and the other party readily agreed every time. But this time it was different - this time he encountered an extraordinary character. After listening to his request, the other party replied: "That won't work, how can that be okay? Listing the name for merit dedication is good so that more people know about it and more people can dedicate their merits." My friend gently said: "When I previously made donations to other temples, I always did it this way. And since I am the donor, shouldn't I have the right to decide whether to list my name or not? You should respect the wishes of the donor." But the other party still insisted with reason that the name must be listed, otherwise it would hurt Buddhism. My Cantonese friend is a civilized person and did not want to waste time arguing with her further, so he just kept silent. He is a devout Buddhist believer (a bit like Zhang Songwen), born into a family with a strong Buddhist atmosphere. Since childhood, he has been used to harmony brings wealth and seldom argues with others, nor does he really know how to. However, after this incident, every time he participated in similar merit dedications, he would first call to probe the tone of the person in charge. He was very afraid of communicating with people who were completely unreasonable.

It should be said that what he encountered was not an isolated case. Over these years, I have heard and seen enough of such eccentric people and incidents to write a book. There are actually a lot of such people nowadays, scattered everywhere. And because there are so many of them, some have inevitably made their way into Buddhist circles and even become leaders of temples in China. Some have even attained titles like "Rinpoche". And this is what worries me. Over the years I have been in contact with many such people, and from my experience, working with them can be very mentally exhausting, because from time to time they will do things that normal people would never do, shattering your worldview and opening your eyes. When interacting with others, at first, I assume that they know about the rules that all human beings should uphold - because some things don't need to be emphasized since every normal human being knows them, because in the past I hardly encountered people who didn't know these rules, because they are the common covenant that allows us to form a society - but later I realized that such an assumption is extremely foolish, because subsequent events proved that they don't know. For example, what happened to my friend mentioned earlier, the normal procedure would be for the donor to make a request, and the other party would say "Of course, thank you very much for your donation and dedication." - This is the normal procedure. But in reality you have to be prepared that some eccentrics have already infiltrated and taken root in Buddhist circles, and they can make a move at any time, leaving you dumbfounded at any time. Having seen so many such incidents, you will find that in some parts of China, people there have something in their culture that makes them go to every possible length to create trouble for you. I think they probably do this to assert their own existence; they never harm others, they seem to have never received any education on "being adaptable with others and yourself"; they enjoy that sense of power when saying "no". If you encounter enough such people, in the end you can only assume that every person you meet does not know these common basic rules of human society. You can only assume that the other party will react beyond what is normal at any time. You can only explain everything clearly in advance beforehand - explain even those things that every normal person knows, down to every detail - I think this seriously lowers the level of human civilization to some extent. And such people live among us, claiming to be Buddhists, our Dharma brothers and sisters, but in them, you can only see ideas that are completely opposite to those of Sakyamuni Buddha. Some of them claim to have practiced for many years, completed several retreats, yet they still don't know what human beings should and should not do, and they still don't know how normal people do things. (Maybe some of them do know, but they take pride in not doing so.)

So I have always wanted to know, those people who can park their cars on the train tracks when buying groceries, those who can self-righteously demand an apology from the girl they have harassed by taking a little boy into the women's restroom, those who think that they have never done anything wrong despite chanting Vajrasattva repentance every day - I have always wanted to know how such people go about learning the Buddhadharma and Vajrayana, how they use their views and actions which are completely contrary to those of Sakyamuni Buddha to practice what Sakyamuni Buddha taught. In fact, I believe this makes it completely impossible for them to practice. I am quite certain that it is precisely those things that are contrary to the Buddhadharma that make them not know how to be a proper human being or get things done, and those things not only prevent them from knowing how to be a person and get things done, but also make their Buddhist practice completely invalid.

To change this situation, they should first go to Confucius' human studies class to learn something, which would be very helpful for them. In my opinion, what Confucius always taught was clever selfishness, while selfishness for most modern people belongs to the stupid kind of selfishness. We are all ordinary beings, and for a considerable period of time in the foreseeable future, we will continue to be ordinary beings. We cannot suddenly become Buddhas; we cannot suddenly become unselfish. Even less can we practice without greed, anger and ignorance. But at least you can learn what clever selfishness is. Clever selfishness means that while you are selfish, you also do not make others resent you, whereas stupid selfishness does just the opposite. Clever selfishness is the best kind of selfishness that an ordinary being can accomplish. The clever selfish person considers others, because the clever selfish person knows that if you completely disregard others, the one who eventually gets hurt will be yourself. Those clever selfish people, if they have a cake, will take out three quarters of it to give to others, so that they can at least keep one quarter; while those stupidly selfish people want to have the whole cake. They completely disregard those hungry eyes around them. The end result is that their cake gets snatched away by others. If you don't know how to be cleverly selfish, you'll end up like those people mentioned earlier, creating endless troubles for yourself and others and messing everything up in the end. I have always believed that Buddhadharma cannot be practiced by everyone. One must possess a certain level of civility in order to practice the Buddhadharma, while Confucian culture is a very good foundation for the Buddhadharma.

Due to modern education, many people feel that Confucius represents a backward culture that restricts human nature and is the enemy of freedom. I don't know if what Confucius taught restricts human nature, but over the years I have seen how many people without Confucian teachings step by step bring about their own downfall, how they step by step put themselves in hopeless situations, while those with some Confucian teachings do very well and excel in other aspects too. Sometimes I would think, if these people were not born in such a place, if they were born in a region with traditional Confucian culture, then their lives and their Buddhist practice might have been completely different.

Regarding Chinese traditional culture, an analogy I often use is: If you give an iPhone 14 to a primitive man, he probably won't be very grateful to you, because he will feel that this thing is completely useless. He neither knows how to use an iPhone, nor has anywhere to charge it. In his eyes, this gadget is not as useful as an arrowhead made from grinding stones. To him, stones represent a more advanced culture that can be used to crack walnuts and grind into arrowheads for hunting, while the iPhone is just a flat black stone that can neither crack walnuts nor be tied to a stick as a weapon. So he would feel that what you gave him is a completely useless thing. You can see that for primitive people, the iPhone is too advanced, far beyond what they can understand. They have no idea how to use it, so to them it is useless and backwards. Do you know? This is exactly what has happened to Chinese culture and to the teachings of Sakyamuni, Laozi and Confucius. Because their teachings are too profound, too complex, completely beyond the comprehension of ordinary people, and the effects manifest very slowly, only suitable for personal realization through self-cultivation and self-liberation. Therefore, after having experienced Western culture, many Chinese people feel that those Western cultures that have rapid tangible effects and can be quickly understood and put into practice by ordinary people are the truly useful things.

But are the traditional teachings really useless? After being looked down upon for over a hundred years, we can actually all see and feel it - if there were no sage teachings, what would your surroundings turn into? It would turn into what it is like now - now most people will not admit mistakes anymore no matter how absurd, ridiculous or lowly they are wrong; a person takes a young boy into the women's bathroom to harass others and still self-righteously demands an apology from the harassed person; a person parking their car on the train tracks when buying groceries; someone who chants Vajrasattva repentance every day believes that they have actually never done anything wrong. Over these years I have seen far too many such people. They completely do not know their own position - they neither know their own position nor other people's positions. This causes them to frequently do all kinds of ridiculous things. If a person does not know who he himself is, does not know what role he should play in everything, then he would not know what he should say or do. He would say what he should not say and do what he should not do, and then everything would go wrong. When things go wrong they blame others, believing that the problems are all caused by others. Such people are completely oblivious about self-reflection. They are born in places without a culture of self-reflection. Looking in a mirror they would even think that the mirror is slandering them. If you do not know your own position in one matter, then in fact you would not know your position in all matters - it is like a net, when one place is pulled, all other places would also be out of place. A person who has problems with their understanding of marital relations will inevitably also have problems with their understanding of guru-disciple relations, because it is of one fabric. If your worldview is wrong then all the thinking, ways of doing things, speech arising from it would also all be wrong, because your underlying basis is wrong. You cannot use a wrong underlying basis to uphold right view. If you want to cultivate right view, then you must possess the correct foundation.

Over these years I have seen many people, most of whom neither know nor understand that the pain and tragedies in their lives stem from their wrong perception of self. I have always believed that this is a disaster of values, a disaster far more serious than earthquakes, tsunamis or wars, because it lurks within most people, because it will continue into your next and next lives, harming you life after life.

Written by Lingshan Hermit on February 10, 2023, first published on February 21, 2023.

灵山居士：聪明的自私

[jblkbf]

LOONAVERSE LORE:

In the LOONAVERSE, there are 3 planes: Earth, MIddle Earth and Eden. With those planes also come subunits. (This is all pre-debut but it does help.)

LOONA 1/3= Earth

Odd Eye Circle= Middle Earth

yyxy= Eden

LOONA 1/3:  Heejin is the creator/god of the LOONAVERSE, as seen in her ViVid music video. In the universe, the world is initally black and white. Heejin doesn't like this. She decided to fill the world with color but she needed help. That's when she created the primary colors first: Red (Kim Lip), Blue (Jinsoul) and Yellow (Hyunjin). She then creates Middle Earth and sends those 3 colors/girls to ME in order to watch over the LOONAVERSE. 

After this, she tells the primary colors/girls to help her and fill the world with more color. Over time, Hyunjin begins to miss Heejin. This can be theorized in her solo m/v "Around You" where you see Hyunjin writing various letters, most likely to Heejin, to stay in contact with her. Hyunjin gains the urge to leave the other primary colors and travel to Earth just to be with Heejin but she ultimately chooses not to.

Heejin tells the primary colors/girls to create the color Green (Haseul) (Hyunjin and Jinsoul make Haseul). After creating Haseul, they send her to Earth to spread her color but this leaves Haseul feeling lost, questioning her true purpose in the world. Hyunjin gives Haseul 2 options: Learn your place in the world and live in chaos OR spend the rest of her days in peace, unaware of the truth. Haseul choses the truth, thus living her days in chaos.

Alongside making green, Heejin also tells the girls to make Orange (Yeojin) (Hyunjin and Lip make Yeojin). When Yeojin is made, she is tempted to betray Heejin but stops herself. She then meets Haseul, who she views as a motherly figure but bc Haseul chose to live her days in chaos, Yeojin suffers. Yeojin gets lost in a forest and is tempted by a frog.

After Haseul and Yeojin were made, Hyunjin couldn't hold her temptation back anymore and left Middle Earth to be with Heejin on Earth. This causes an imbalance since the primary colors are not together anymore. During this time, Heejin creates an angel to act as a helper to control the LOONAVERSE. Heejin created ViVi (light pink), symbolizing purity and innocence. Little did Heejin know, that ViVi was tainted with evil, turning her into a cyborg. Because ViVi isn't human, she had a hard time fitting in with the other girls (Fun Fact: ViVi is originally from Eden which we'll get into later!) Heejin, Hyunjin, Haseul and ViVi reside on Earth, thus making LOONA 1/3. While on Earth, we later learn about ViVi's crush on a "boy". On Earth, ViVi lives in Hong Kong. (Also, ViVi rescues a mysterious girl from some basement who ends up being Jinsoul. Jinsoul has no clue on how she got on Earth but she returns to Middle Earth to help Kim Lip restore the balance of the LOONAVERSE.)

Odd Eye Circle:  Due to Hyunjin's leave, Kim Lip waits for Jinsoul's return to help her replace Hyunjin and restore the balance. During this time, Kim Lip's power of superspeed becomes active, alongside Jinsoul's power to teleport. With Heejin to guide them, the 2 girls begin their plan to restore the balance. They combined their colors to create the color Purple, thus creating Choerry. As Choerry was being created, she ended up on Earth, where Hyunjin resides. Kim Lip and Jinsoul lure Choerry out of Earth and into Middle Earth. Choerry's power of dimensional travel awakens during this time.

Now that the LOONAVERSE is once again balanced, something shifts. The girls power intensifies as they unintentionally cross paths, as seen in Sweet Crazy Love. This leads them to finding each other, uniting them as ODD EYE CIRCLE (seen in Girl Front). Their powers lead to them getting their Odd Eyes. While Kim Lip and Jinsoul both have their Odd Eyes on their left eye, Choerry has hers on her right eye, showing that she isn't an originally primary color and is instead a mirror copy of Hyunjin (Purple is Yellow's inverted color). 

We later learn that back on Earth, Jinsoul was trapped by someone who was tainted with evil. Noticing that there's something off about Jinsoul, Kim Lip and Choerry attempt to contact Hyunjin for help on Earth. While doing this, they keep seeing a shadowy figure, constantly taunting them from afar.

yyxy: We then learn of Yves existence, who resides in Eden, a dimension that is the exact parallel to Earth. Yves was originally created as an angel to assist Heejin with control of the LOONAVERSE, much like ViVi. Unlike ViVi, Yves gave into temptation and became tainted with evil after eating the forbidden fruit, the apple. This evil caused her color to change. Because she betrayed Heejin, the evil takes over, changing her once light pink color into a Burgundy color. In her "New" m/v, it is seen that Yves lured ViVi onto a date, killing ViVi. Because she was tainted with Yves evil, ViVi was turned into a cyborg.

Due to ViVi's death, her memory is warped, seeing Yves in the form of a boy she crushes on. Though it is not in official M/V's, Yves then taints Choerry with evil after learning that she (Yves) was the one who lured Yeojin into the forest in the form of a frog as a way to defy Heejin. We also learn that Yves was the one taunting ODD EYE CIRCLE while in search for Hyunjin. But 2 things remain unanswered: If Heejin didn't exactly make Yves, who did and who gave Yves the apple?

Later on, Chuu comes into existence, who also lives in Eden and idolizes Yves. But due to Yves' one goal, she is ignored, BUT, if Chuu decides to betray Heejin, Yves will start to care about her. Chuu willingly decides to be tainted by evil just for Yves' attention, thus eating her forbidden fruit, the strawberry. As Yves and Chuu leave Eden and head to Earth (this isn't Yves first time leaving Eden), they encounter Haseul. Because Haseul chose truth over peace, she knows that Yves and Chuu betrayed Heejin. Haseul lets Heejin know about this.

Back in Eden, we learn about Gowon. Gowon lives shut out from the world, only wanting to stay in her own little bubble. But, with the help of Choerry, Yves and Chuu, she decides to give into temptation, eating her forbidden fruit, the pineapple. Even though Gowon never wanted to give in, no matter how hard she ran, Choerry, Yves and Chuu would always catch her. Gowon becomes enlightened to be with the girls, sitting at a table with Yves and Chuu with one empty chair. Who could that chair be for? Possibly for the person who created Eden and the current Eden girls.

Lastly, we learn of Oliva Hye/Hyeju, who came into existence with the LOONAVERSE, as Heejin's shadow. It then comes to our knowledge that Hyeju was actually the one who trapped Jinsoul in the basement in Hong Kong and tainted her with evil. We also learn that she created Yves, Chuu and Gowon, making the unit YYXY. Why did she? Seeing the connection and closeness that the 1/3 girls have with each other, Hyeju became jealous. She made Yves as an angel but because Hyeju was already tainted with evil, Yves automatically was tainted with evil, making Yves the way she is. 

This was never her original plan though. She never wanted Yves to kill ViVi. All she wanted was to have a 1/3 of her own. She was hurt by Yves. Yves betrayed Hyeju, sending her to the deepest depths of the LOONAVERSE. This makes Hyeju angry, filling her with the urge to seek revenge. She wanted justice for ViVi's death and she wanted to stop Yves from tainting anyone else. Knowing about this, Heejin meets Hyeju face to face for the first time, feeling sympathetic with what happened. Hyeju never intended for anything to happen but regardless, she couldn't change the fact that she acted out of jealousy. 

Heejin decided to give Hyeju a test. If she passed, she'd gain Heejin's trust. Heejin sends Yves, Chuu and Gowon back to Eden, sending Hyeju back with them. In Eden, no more damage could be done now, considering that Heejin was constantly watching over the girls. This doesn't stop Yves however, from betraying Heejin. Chuu soon follows Yves and Yves convinces Gowon to come with. This doesn't faze Hyeju. She knows that joining them would just cause them to betray her again. She has to trust Heejin in order to become a key part of LOONA. The other yyxy members leave Eden and explore the LOONAVERSE, with Gowon feeling bad for betraying Hyeju and let alone Heejin. This doesn't stop Hyeju from wanting Heejin's approval. Though she was tempted, Hyeju passed the test, gaining back Heejin's trust and finally becoming a key component of LOONA.

[namesisfortombstones]

So, in the most recent G-Fan, in a review of the new Godzilla Against Mothra/Mothra vs. Godzilla Completion book, J.D. Lees makes this rather outrageous claim: “the translation of the movie title’s Japanese characters reads ‘Mothra tai Godzilla’ [sic] but in Japanese sentence construction, the most important word is generally left to the end. Thus, it is reasonable to interpret that title as ‘Godzilla vs. Mothra,’ and at the time, publicity for the picture often included the English phrase ‘Godzilla Against Mothra,’ as does the cover of the new book. On a side note, this difference in primacy based on position between English and Japanese worked to Toho’s advantage with King Kong vs. Godzilla. To western eyes, Toho was modestly situating ‘their boy’ to follow Kong in the title, but Japanese audiences likely perceived the home-town hero as receiving top billing.” Christ All-Friday. Now, I’m 100% sure this is a big, fat no. Because IF this were true, Gojira tai Megaro should be translated as Megalon vs. Godzilla. Right? But I contacted a Japanese friend living in Japan and explained the situation before I got on an online high-horse and started railing against this. He wrote back to me just one word: “Bullshit.” I just don’t even know what to say to this. Please, for God’s sakes, PLEASE don’t let this get started as something online. “Mosura tai Gojira” is not “Godzilla vs. Mothra” in English. “Kingu Kongu tai Gojira” is not “Godzilla vs. King Kong” in English. Let’s just shun this nonsense like an Amish kid with a nipple ring and move on. On a side note, Toho’s international title choices have nothing to do with being a translation of the Japanese title. In Japan, the title is Mosura tai Gojira because back then, Mothra was more popular than Godzilla. However in the west, Godzilla was more known than Mothra was, so it was only sensical for Toho to sell the movie as “Godzilla Against Mothra” [”against” is the literal translation of “tai” but it sounds awkward, so we use “versus/vs.”]. “Destroy All Monsters” is in no way supposed to be a translation of “Kaiju Soshingeki.” But you guys knew this already, even if the editor of G-Fan didn’t. Doesn’t? Either or. This is what happens when you start to believe that you don’t need an editor.

[wh33zy]

Polls I'd Make If I Had Polls: JRSIH Edition

Slap the ever living ✨SHIT✨ out one of them (so bad that your palm stings and they might have seen god when their heads snapped back):

Takano

or

Fuyuhiko

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For 20 Trillion dollars, would you rather:

Try to brush Chiaki's teeth (you have to try to catch him and wrangle him into the bathroom first- he is fighting you and screaming while you yell GIMME YOUR MOUTH because he does NOT want to be clean)

or

Try to keep Miyagi or Hiroki in the house when there's a major book sale going on at their favourite bookstore. They are also fighting you and screaming and YES they will play tricks on you so they can get outside. Miyagi will pretend to cry to get you to let him out DON'T BE FOOLED. THOSE ARE FAKE OLD MAN TEARS.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can Takano read?

No.

or

Definitely Not. But Ritsu is teaching him how.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You're in Hiroki's class, your palms are sweaty. Your phone chimes on your desk and Hiroki throws an eraser at you because it's distracting. It bounces off your forehead and your classmates giggle at you. So, of course you decided to:

Donkey Kong arm your desk right back at him with your best victory screech.

or

Super loud and ugly cry until class is over. Refuse multiple requests to leave so you can get a hold of yourself.

or

Pee.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have to deal with the consequences of this, so would you rather:

Eat a manga page that Ijuuin JUST finished working on in front of him while making VERY direct eye contact. Then swallowing as loud as possible in the stunned silence.

or

Steal Suzuki

or

Tell Shinobu that Miyagi's kinda ugly.

or

Loosen the screws on Takano's chair before he arrives to work so he just collapses to the ground in front of everyone in the office as soon as he takes a seat (he also spills his coffee EVERYWHERE).

[prosgecko]

meet jocelyn lau // welcome to the island.

the basics //

character name: jocelyn lau  nicknames: josie, jojo, jo  birthdate & zodiac : 3 april 1978 / aries  gender & pronouns : questioning / she & they  sexual orientation: unsure, might be asexual, not sure. occupation : natural history museum curator  ethnicity: hong-kong chinese & white  hometown/birth place : toronto, canada  current town: new york city  secret: they smuggled a chameleon onto the flight family : jae lau ( father ), felicity lau ( † mother ), utp lau ( older brother ), unnamed, three of them ( cousins ) 

trigger warning: death at childbirth ( alluding to, not really mentioned ) 

                    physical appearance & characteristics //

face claim:  jessie mei li eye color:  dark brown hair color: black  glasses/contacts?: no.  dominant hand: mostly right.  height: 1.62 m / 5′2″ tattoos: not yet, she had plans for her first, but you know plane crash. piercings: ears & nose marks/scars: uh josie likely has scars from her pets, because you know reptiles and from just being generally a clumsy individual. 

                                          personality traits //

positive: inquisitive, curious, auspicious negative: vexatious, naive, self-critical alignment: chaotic good

                                deeper dive //

hobbies.

tending to her animals - honestly, she finds so much joy in it and loves when she gets a chance to show off her sanctuary for them !

excursions - she loves, loves going on excursions especially those connected to her line of studies in paleontology 

going to museums - yep, she was the kid that enjoyed museums more than most and enjoyed stopping with every exhibit and reading as much as possible, likely with a hand. 

being social - whilst her hobbies aren’t the most usual, she still does love being social and going out, she just doesn’t necessarily have the same urges as some of her peers. 

                               favorites //

food - tomato soup with a grilled cheese made by her dad 

drink - capri sun or sprite 

movie - jurassic park

song - the tarzan soundtrack 

color - yellow & green 

                              backstory //

though josie never got the chance to meet her mother, she never for a second felt as though her life lacked in love, despite how difficult it must've been for father he never let that show. she certainly has missed and asked questions about her mother at times, both to her father and her older brother, and though at times they weren't in the headspace to talk about her, they always did the best to make sure josie knew who she was. he was a fire chief at their local station and because of this, she spent a lot of time in the firehouse and became somewhat like the station child. she loved it, truthfully, though she never had much of a desire to become a firefighter herself, she definitely enjoyed joining some of their training drills. at one point, she debated becoming a emt because she loved working alongside them from time to time during their training but then, she encountered a real life injury where there was a lot of blood and quickly realized that wasn't the job for her. still, she learned quite a bit during that time. 

but, between watching the magic school bus, jurassic park, indiana jones and lots of steve irwin, josie developed a passion for nature and animals, specifically those of the scaly assortment. josie would spend lots of time visiting the local reptiles at the pet store, the local zoo, etc. and heading to museums around the city, especially the natural history museum. she thought it was the coolest place ever, and through asking lots of questions, josie realized exactly what they wanted to become. 

growing up, her father was always worried about who josie dating and in doing so was always skeptical of a lot of the people that she befriended, but really, dating was the last thing on josie's mind. she enjoyed people's company and that was that, and once this was realized, he started to relax a bit. she did definitely have crushes on people, but none she really did anything about or spoke out about. 

josie was studying on the side of her job and working towards her phd in palentology and through her studies the opportunity arose to travel and join an excursion abroad alongside one of her favorite mentors and she jumped on the opportunity, and was very excited.  

                              wanted connections //

her boss / mentor at the museum

people she annoys, josie can be a lot, she doesn't mean to be, but social cues aren't always her forte 

someone to be reckless with, especially in regards to the nature surrounding them

someone that was seated next to them? whether they noticed the chameleon is open, perhaps they did and thought it was cool? or they were repulsed? who knows! 

someone from the firehouse perhaps? 

fellow museum workers ! i envision her division at work was headed out for some sort of excursion / trip 

people she befriended at the airport before getting on board the flight or during the flight ! 

someone that becomes sort of like a father figure on the island? growing up josie has always been super close to her father, so she'd likely seek out a similar vibe from someone ! 

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Goodbye Emmanuelle (Letterier, 1977)

In Goodbye Emmanuelle: Her Last Game of Death... Okay, that’s not the actual title, but I just can’t resist making a Bruceploitation joke. Technically Emmanuelle is a character in The Dragon Lives Again, even if she isn’t played by Sylvia Kristel there, so one could argue that Kristel is a Bruceploitation star by proxy. (No, the character does not kung fu fight in that movie, but does try to give somebody a sex-induced heart attack.) Normally this is the part where I go into a long-winded anecdote only tangentally related to the movie, but I’m just settling for Bruceploitation jokes this time. We’re having fun, right? Why is everybody leaving? Fine, I’ll talk about the actual movie.

This entry finds Emmanuelle and her husband living the good life in the Seychelles. One day when they’re gettin’ it on on the beach, she makes eye contact with a hunky director cruising by shirtless on a boat while filming something or other, and becomes hopelessly attracted to him. This causes Emmanuelle to reexamine her lifestyle choices and creates tension in her marriage. Will their (free) love survive the presence of this hunky shirtless director? Or is it doomed to fail like his shirt presumably was at keeping him clothed? I guess the biggest problem I have with this one is that it has the characters behave fundamentally differently than the previous movies. The second entry especially defines the relationship between Emmanuelle and her husband as being open, honest and encouraging of each others’ extracurricular activities. Having them suddenly grow jealous, possessive and monogamously inclined feels like a betrayal of who these characters are. Now obviously people can change and experience different emotions, but there needs to be a convincing instigating factor to sell this change, and this director fella, hunky as he is, ain’t it. He’s just a big pile of nothing, and it’s hard to see why Emmanuelle would go for him when his competition is the significantly more charismatic Umberto Orsini.

The featurette on the Kino Blu-ray has Kristel and others talking about this movie taking a more intellectual approach, and I don’t think the movie is better off, as what we get here is pretty rote stuff. In contrast, while the second movie is an almost plotless progression of softcore sex scenes, those help you feel the dynamic of their relationship much better than this one tells you about it. (The second movie is also substantially better smut, as this one has fewer and less imaginative sex scenes.) The movie does share some of the non-skeevy pleasures of the previous movies, in that it’s handsomely shot and takes place in an attractive setting, meaning it’s not unpleasant to veg out to even if the actual proceedings aren’t terribly interesting. Yet Seychelles is essentially a vacation spot here, as the movie fails to mine it for the kind of erotic charge that Bangkok and Hong Kong provided in the previous entries. (I guess that makes it less problematic, and but also less interesting. These movies are all about white people having sexual adventures in exotic locales, but this one seems least eager to own up to it.) There’s also the music by Serge Gainsbourg, who I imagine brought some of the same energy to composing this as Michael Scott did in that one episode when he wore the one braid in his hair after a Caribbean vacation. His main theme, replete with seductively breathy vocals by Jane Birkin, did get stuck in my head for the rest of the day, so I guess I liked it.

As you can deduce from the title, this marked the last entry where Kristel played the lead role. I don’t know how good the later entries are supposed to be, but I see one of them is directed by Walerian Borowczyk, so perhaps further exploration is warranted. (She admits she took cameos in the later entries because she needed money, which is refreshing in its honesty.) Now, aside from the resolution of her relationship troubles, the movie also waves goodbye to her in fairly literal terms. Or rather, she waves to us, multiple times, in slow motion. I don’t know, I thought it was cute.

[hrodvitnon]

Ah yes, smut month is upon us and with it, the most sinful of spices. I've already made plenty of contributions to it, as you're well aware~

Indeed, let's take a dive into the spice den...

While San applies nuzzles and kisses, Goji wryly quips that Ghidorah is so eager to fill him so much, one would think he's trying to breed. Ni laughs, You'd like that, wouldn't you? Goji just grunts with a roll of his eyes and goes back to enjoying San's kisses. Ichi confidently boasts how it's not about playing at breeding, it's a matter of dominance... and this time Ghidorah is the dominant Alpha.

Goji winks at San. For now.

Kong's a touch-starved soul, and as much as he enjoys the exertion of going wild on his partner, he finds it more fulfilling to hold his partner close as they tenderly bring each other to sweet orgasms. Mothra loves the romantic side in her various mates and appreciates the ambience that comes with mounting Kong's lap and making love under a starry sky.

Sparring under the pretense of keeping one another's skills sharp has the added bonus of abundant physical contact. Goji doesn't use his atomic breath during these sessions because keeping Kong at a distance would defeat the purpose, so instead they brawl on even ground. Goji has the advantages that come with age, experience and greater body mass, but Kong has speed and dexterity and resourcefulness.

Sometimes Goji will pin Kong down during their wrestling, mostly to give him a taste of what it'll be like when things heat up, and partially to incentivise Kong into showing off how clever he can be to avoid this vulnerable position; and Kong does just that. At one point Kong pulls a fast one and uses Goji's own weight against him, collapsing the elder Titan and pinning him down by way of sitting on his chest.

Of course, all it takes is for Goji to look at how close he is to a certain part of Kong's body and smirks up at him with a raised brow for Kong to actually start blushing.