#when she's going on about rabies and the signs and trying to help steve while he's hurt

[robinbckleya2]

also robin is such a verbal processor, it drives me crazy, i love it so much

[panicatthediaz]

New chapter, new POV! Ok, it's not gonna be this way for long. There's this one, then one more chapter, and we are back to the scheduled shenanigans. I've just been hit with a desire to write some other people in the meantime.

[Part 1] – [Part 6] – [Part 8]

@madaboutmunson @lamburrito @benjaminrussell @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @dijkstraspath @swiftiebuckleys @spectrum-spectre @epiclazershark @redheadchimechild [Let me know if you want to be tagged!]

Pin a String to My Chest – 7

The phone call

It went beyond saying that he was itchy as hell. And, according to Robin, grumpy as all hell too. At least there was no sign of rabies, or any infection or other Upside-Down nastiness.

Steve sighed, wrapping up his torso once more. A week had passed since their battle, and everyone was healing fine. Both his and Eddie's bat bites were healing (slowly), Max was ordering everyone around (minus El) as usual, and Dustin had a lot of his mobility back.

At least, Dustin was already spending most of his days in the hospital. If anything happened, he'd have help. Wayne was there too, waiting for his nephew to wake up.

Steve finished getting ready for his shift at Family Video. He'd had enough of stewing at home alone. Sure, Claudia often stopped by with homemade meals and some other snacks, but those tended to be quick visits.

He needed something to do, something to distract him from the fact that not everyone was out and about just yet.

Steve had a foot out of the front door when the phone rang.

He debated letting it go unanswered; not a lot of people called him at home, and the Party was more likely to use the walkies. But he remembered that the kids' parents called sometimes, to ask for some small favors or to check if he'd be able to take the kids somewhere because they were busy.

(The kids often radioed him about rides before their parents called. They were, at this point, mostly to confirm plans.)

So he turned back around and picked up the phone.

"Steve!" A woman — his mom greeted. "Hey, honey, how are things at home?"

He barely held in a sigh at her overly sweet tone. Unfortunately, he knew the routine by now. "Hi, mom. Everything is fine."

"That's great to hear. Listen—" And there it was, the real reason for her call. "Your father heard about a serial killer in Hawkins, and we wanted to make sure you wouldn't do anything stupid, okay?"

Steve did sigh then. Of course, they were only calling now. He wouldn't be surprised if they only caught word of the whole thing a week later either.

"We could—"

"Mom, it's fine." He interrupted the obvious offer to send him tickets to wherever they were right now. "It all happened a week ago." That information was met with silence. Steve could picture her expression clearly: A frown quickly smoothed into indifference. "The feds already caught him."

"Oh, thank God, that Munson boy—"

"Is innocent." He knew she hated being interrupted, that she hated when he was anything but the proper little boy she raised him to be. But he couldn't let her finish that thought. "Eddie is innocent."

"Steve…"

Same old scolding tone.

"I'm just saying, mom," he continued, forcing nonchalance into his tone. "It's been a week, I'm sure the feds already announced his innocence. I mean…" He paused, taking in a deep breath. "He helped a bunch of teens escape."

They all had the cover story drilled into their brains by Agent Stinson, but even without it, Steve knew it wouldn't be a lie.

"He was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and ended up witnessing something that made him a target."

There was nothing but silence for long, long seconds, time Steve knew his mom spent trying to rein in whatever nasty thought she just had.

"Listen, mom, I hate to cut the call short, but I'm gonna be late for work," he lied. When he didn't have to pick anyone up on his way, he usually left with enough time to loiter a while. "I'll talk to you soon."

With a sigh, his mom hung up the phone without another word. He shouldn't be surprised but he was still annoyed, he supposed, that despite hearing about it a week later, they still only had half the story.

Steve regretted, now that everything was over, that he'd been just as ready to believe in Eddie's guilt as everyone else. As his mother seemed to still believe.

Eddie did more than he should have had to and ended up in a coma for his troubles.

He knew that their plan had been a solid one given the circumstances, that they did kill Vecna, that Max was safe.

As Steve finally left for his shift at Family Video, he simply wished that Eddie was also safe.

[cazperx-x]

From across the room Robin Buckley x fem!reader

Part 2 is up! Here

Background: this takes place after season 4 (well what’s out currently anyway) and Vecna has been defeated. y/n is currently close friends with Robin and the others, when suddenly a new plague takes over the town. Teenagers and children around Hawkins have been in mysterious comas which turn their pupils and the whites in their eyes black, no one knows the cause.

Additional notes: I had writer's block while writing this and did not proofread so apologies in advance. Also I most likely will write a part 2, considering most of this is more of background and like story than the actual like lovey dovey part if that makes sense.

  Warnings: fem!reader, but they/them pronouns are used and no explicit mentions of the reader being female. This is my first time posting something like this on tumblr so constructed criticism is greatly appreciated

Reminder! My requests are open, I do Robin Buckley mainly, but I can also do Nancy Wheeler, Steve Harrington, and Eddie Munson :)

   “ Wait wait wait, huh?” Robin says, obviously confused after you just ran into Mike Wheeler's basement out of breath stammering incoherent sentences. “ S-something happened, something bad.” You manage to get out in between wheezes. “ What bad? Wait, weren't you just with Nancy?” Mike says, panic rising in his voice. “ Yeah, that’s the problem.” 

     Steve drives Robin, Y/n, Mike, and Dustin, to Lovers Lake. “ Wait, so why didn’t you just call us on the walkies?” Steve says once everyone is out of the car. “ Oh wow Steve I totally didn’t think that it’s not like no one picked up.” You say, sarcasm in your voice. Steve glared at Dustin, “ Heh, sorry low battery.” Dustin muttered. 

     You sigh and walk over to Robin. “ Hey, are you okay? Like the weird coma thing didn’t get you too or anything, right? I mean I know you’re not in a coma now but we don’t know anything about this like that's why you and Nancy went over to see if the watergate was maybe still open but- god I’m rambling again aren’t I?” Robin says, and you chuckle. Even though you would never admit it, you love the way she rambles on. “ I’m fine, I promise.“ You reassure her. “ Okay, good. You’d tell me if you started showing any signs of rabies, Right?” You laugh and hug her. “ Of course.”

     Soon enough, you get close to the lake, where police tape is blocking off the rest of the path. “ You called the police?!” Mike almost yells. “ Be quiet! And of course I did, it’s not like I could carry her. And what, you wanted me to leave your sister in a boat alone in lovers lake or on the forest floor?” Mike sighs and you walk up to the police officer “ Hey um- I’m the one who called 911. Sorry after I panicked and got Nancy’s brother and friends.” You say, pointing to the group of people behind you. The officer sighs. “ We’ll interrogate you and your buddies later. Go run along now and uh, stay safe.” He says, dismissing everyone. Robin sighs. “ Well at least you tried?” She says, trying to be helpful. 

     “So what was the point of dragging us here?” Steve sighed. “ Follow me.” You demand more than suggested, going off the path and towards who knows where. “ Y/n's gonna get us all killed.” Dustin mutters. “ Yeah, that's what I like about them.” Robin chuckled, before chasing after you. “ Y/n! Y/n! Hey, wait up!” 

     After about 15 minutes of walking, you finally stop in front of a small pond that could probably only fit one  person at a time. “ Woah..” Robin said, peering into the pond. There was a strange red glow coming from the bottom. “Ha! Now what'd ya think of that!” You proudly declare. But there was no answer.

You turn around to find your not in the woods with Robin anymore. Instead, in your first period middle school classroom, seated next to Robin Buckley. You catch her staring at you, and she quickly looks away. But this Robin doesn’t look like your Robin. She's smaller, and her hair is longer. It takes a minute for you to realize this isn't your Robin After looking in the window behind you, you let out a sharp gasp. This is middle school you. You’ve somehow been transported years upon years into the past. “Hey, are you okay? You seem a bit jumpy.” Robin says with a chuckle. “ Y-yeah i'm fine.” You whisper. How the hell did I get here?

~Meanwhile~

“ Y/n! Y/n! Y/n! Shit, shit shit! Please please wake up.” Robin begged as she shook you, tears streaming down her face. Your eyes were black, and your chest was slowly moving up and down. “Please  please please.” She whispered. 

[apiratecalledav]

As requested, my predictions for Stranger Things season 4 Volume II. Plus my wishlist for fun!

Speculations:

I get why people think  Steve might be headed for the chopping block but my gut says no? Okay, maybe it’s just wishful thinking. But I do think it’s a misdirection. After all, pointing out the demobat bites and freaking out about rabies is supposed to make you worried about him. And ultimately, this is a nostalgia-fueled-feel-good family(ish) show and I don’t think killing Steve off—especially since he’s been an almost literal punching bag for so long— would fit.

It just seems uncharacteristically and excruciatingly cruel. Plus, after a nearly three year hiatus, killing off such a fan fav would be spectacularly dumb. I’m sure the Duffers know that but even if they don’t, the people signing the checks at Netflix sure as hell do. Even if Joe wanted out, I imagine Netflix would want the door open (three inches) for him just in case.

Ditto with Max. Having her stepdad leave and her mom start drinking after they lose their house… way too fucked up if Max dies, too. This ain’t Game of Thrones and if it tries to be, it will most likely ruin it.  The body count is already pretty high and has a few more to go. Surely killing off any long time, majorly loved character would be overkill.  

I will say, if there is such a death, I’d probably put my money on Nancy.  The way she has been on the money all season with Upside Down stuff until Vecna snatched her… could maybe, possibly hint at trouble. Even then, I’d imagine it’d only be because Natalia needed to leave the show for some reason.

I can see Eddie dying. Which hurts. But he is pretty much Bob and the good bit of Billy combined. I mean, I’m surprised his name isn’t Bilby. Also, dude is screwed. His best option is living in a cave for the rest of his life, eating Pringles gifted by friends. His intro established that he was optimistic about his future and now he’s lamenting the way he always runs away… 😓He’s going out like hero, at least. Hopefully. I know Chrissy will be waiting for him!  

Jason probably dies and is remembered as a hero. He’s the opposite of Billy, who was a piece of shit until he died doing something heroic without recognition.  Jason was a good kid who’ll end badly but will be remembered as the Patron Saint of Hawkins. Or possibly Jason will be the new Victor— the lone, traumatized survivor/scapegoat?

I’m hoping that this is Steve’s final darkest hour. Possibly like Hopper, he’ll fully intend to sacrifice himself but he’ll survive at the last second and come through (on the other side 😏) healthier and happier.  

Hopper probably has to get a new identity. There’s not really a good way to explain how he’s not dead and why he was gone so long…  The Hopper-Byers (aka the Hyers) family probably won’t ever call Hawkins home again and that low key makes me sad.

I think Eddie might play a song on his guitar to save Nancy from Vecna. Trying to think what it might be and I can only come up with three. 

My preference, which I believe to be the most likely: Brahms’ Lullaby, from the music box in her room. A heavy metal version would be badass as fuck. Plus, public domain so they’d save some money on royalties.

Africa by Toto, the song Nancy and Steve listen to when he helps her study for chem with those notecards. That was when we learn Steve isn’t just some asshole “only after one thing.” Meh.

Last and certainly least favorite is Waiting for a Girl Like You by Foreigner. Aka her song with Steve aka the song I was already pissed was wasted on them. But at the end of the day, I’m having hard time believing  S/N will be a real thing again.

Right now, I see it as Steve and Nancy really, really wanting to go back to a simpler time when fashion choices seemed like life and death to them. Even ignoring the Upside Down, Steve is still lost at sea and Nancy is about to leave her home and family. It’s a scary, uncertain time. And while I think there are more creative, interesting ways to go about that, it does makes sense they’d subconsciously find some sort of comfort in the idea of being together. To hope they could “turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” But as Hopper says, “that’s just not how life works. […] It’s always moving, whether you like it or not.”

Her bedroom from ‘83 is literally in a hell dimension that’s completely devoid of anything beautiful, safe, or good. The room is also littered with shit she no longer wants and is missing what she needs.💁🏻‍♀️ The knowledge she picked up from hanging out with Jonathan at that time is what saves them.  Now Vecna is pretty much using Barb and Nancy’s relationship with Steve to torture Nancy… so… that’s… pretty icky.

The writers have a good track record with ships, so I do think if they wanted us to truly root for them, they’d have done a better job. We also gotta remember they wrote this season intending the audience to watch it all within a week or two at most.

I think when Hopper comes back, it should  be easier for Jonathan to let go. He can transfer spring semester to one of the approximately eleventy-three colleges in the Boston area, even if he doesn’t do Emerson. Or just find a job and save money while Nancy gets her degree then they can move to New York and Nancy can work while Jonathan goes to NYU. Both of them need to leave their families’ mess to complete their arcs.  Even if it doesn’t end with them explicitly together, I imagine it’ll at least be implied that one day they will be.

I think Lucas, through true love for Max, plays a vital role in taking out Vecna somehow or at least temporarily binding him. See the DnD /basketball game scene. However, I will not entirely dismiss the possibility of Erica Sinclair  verbally roasting Vecna to death. 🤣

Wishlist:

Chrissy’s mom has a lotta nerve with that eulogy. Hope she gets to be demobat food.

Fingers crossed that Will saves El for a change.

Mike better have a helluva good way to tell El “I love you” for the first time.

One of these metaphorical pitchfork wielding townsfolk needs to call Eddie “Eddie Munster.” Like, I can’t believe they haven’t made that joke already.

Hyers family reunion, mom, dad, all three kids. And Uncle Murray, apparently.

Don’t kill any of my babies…

Edit: Holy crap, can’t believe I forgot Robin and Vicki. If I gotta sit through my NoTP, I need something to make it worth it.

[theyearoftheking]

Book Fourteen: Pet Sematary

“Sometimes people have to do things that just seem right. They seem right in their hearts, I mean. And if they do those things and then end up not feeling right, full of questions and sort of like they got indigestion, only inside their heads instead of their guts, they think they made a mistake...”

“Death is a mystery, and burial is a secret...”

So, it’s official guys: the world has become a Stephen King novel. We’re dealing with a worldwide pandemic like The Stand, and we’re all quarantined like The Shining. It’s kinda bizarre. 

So how did yours truly deal with the news of the impending apocalypse? 

I packed my bags and headed to New Orleans with my pals.

No, I wasn’t one of the people taking advantage of $30 flights a week out... we had booked this trip months ago, and the warnings were not as dire even early last week. But I will say, if the world is ending, I want to be in NOLA when it happens. Frosty drink, po boy... mama will be feeling no pain. 

And now I’m back home, drinking lemon water and trying to heal my liver after all the damage that was done last week. Oh, in the midst of all the debauchery, I managed to finish two Steve books. The first one was Pet Sematary; which was kind of ironic, considering one of our NOLA adventures was a cemetery tour. Here for your viewing pleasure is Nicholas Cage’s future place of burial. Rich people, am I right?

But while at the cemetery, we met a few charming Constant Readers from Bangor! They mentioned seeing Steve just a few weeks ago at the grocery store. It’s a good thing I don’t live in Bangor, I would have less than zero chill. But our new friends from Maine were lovely to talk to. 

On the surface, Pet Sematary is the story of the Creed family moving to Ludlow, Maine. Louis got a new job working at the university medical center, and his wife Rachel is down for the adventure. They have two kids, the precocious Ellie, and baby Gage (ugh. Even that name); and their cat Churchill. Upon their arrival in Ludlow, they meet their new neighbors: Jud and Norma Crandall. The Crandalls are a little older, but take to the Creed crew right away. 

Ludlow seems like a nice place. According to Jud, rabies seems like the biggest issue plaguing the entire state of Maine. “Lots of rabies in Maine now. There was a big old St. Bernard went rabid downstate a couple of years ago and killed four people. That was a hell of a thing...”

My post-it note for this page reads, “Cujo, bitches!” 

One afternoon, Jud takes the family on a hike, and shows them the old pet sematary right near their property. Later on at home, Rachel loses her shit. She doesn’t think children should be exposed to death, and it leads to a big ass fight. Louis is a doctor, and doesn’t think children should be sheltered from death. If they’re old enough to understand how babies are made, they’re old enough to understand how death works. But Rachel has some PTSD over the childhood death of her sister Zelda, and she’s never dealt with it. So her strategy is to brush the entire topic under the rug. At one point she tells Louis, “There’s nothing natural about death. Nothing. You as a doctor should know that.” 

Rachel, girl. Death is just about as natural as it gets. 

Thanksgiving rolls around, and Rachel takes the kids to see her asshole parents in Chicago, leaving Louis at home... where Churchill the cat ends up smooshed by an eighteen wheeler. Jud decides to take Louis on a little adventure, and shows him the burial ground behind the pet sematary, where whatever you bury comes back to life. 

I know. It’s a reallllly bad idea. Have these people not seen Practical Magic? Do they not understand how bringing back the dead never works out? Ugh. Idiots. 

Sidenote: if you haven’t seen Practical Magic, take advantage of quarantine time and go watch it. It’s late 1990′s Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman, and it’s basically the story of me and my sister. Kind of, but not really. 

So, Churchill comes back, but smellier and creepier; and it has Louis wondering why he brought him back from the dead in the first place. Even Ellie isn’t digging the new Church, and tells Louis she thinks she’ll be okay when he dies for good. So, mission accomplished? We’ll just refer to that as the weirdest damn parenting hack ever. 

Life continues on, until the horrible day when Gage is playing outside with Louis, and also gets smooshed by an eighteen wheeler. It’s a horrible tragedy, and the family is broken. Rachel is inconsolable, Ellie clutches a Polaroid of her and Gage, and Louis can’t make sense of the tragedy. But you already know what he’s thinking...

After the funeral, he sends Rachel and Ellie back to Chicago with Rachel’s (still) asshole parents; and begins the arduous process of burying Gage at the burial grounds. He knows better... he saw first hand what happened to Church after his resurrection. But he’s undeterred. He had visions of Gage becoming an Olympic swimmer, and will stop at nothing to bring his son back. 

Spoiler: it’s a shit show. Gage comes back from the burial grounds, swipes a knife from Louis’s doctor bag and kills Jud with it. He didn’t just come back a little smelly, or a little different... he came back as a Chucky doll. Back when Chucky was evil, before he became a comedic foil. 

Meanwhile in Chicago, Ellie is losing her shit, and having horrible premonitions that things are going terribly wrong in Ludlow. She finally convinces Rachel to go back home. Rachel knows something is wrong, but has no idea what Louis is really up to. I’m guaranteeing, “digging up dead son’s body, hauling it across town in the car, lugging it up to the burial ground, and waiting for him to come back to life” wasn’t in her top ten concerns.

 As she’s driving, she is trying her damnedest to stay awake, and sees a sign for one of our favorite towns in Maine, “Jerusalem’s Lot, she thought randomly, what an odd name. Not a pleasant name, for some reason... Come and sleep in Jerusalem.” 

Rachel gets home, and makes her way over to Jud’s house, where she finds his dead body, and is then killed by Gage, pretending to be her crazy, dead sister. Louis is forced to kill Gage, and then he buries Rachel up on the burial ground as well. The final lines of the book are, “A cold hand fell on Louis’s shoulder. Rachel’s voice was grating, full of dirt. Darling, it said.”

Meh. A mediocre ending to a decent book. I was curious why Louis brought Rachel back to life... he saw how terribly wrong it went with both Church and Gage... was he waiting for Rachel to kill him? Was he hoping that since he buried her sooner than Gage, she’d be more of a “normal zombie?” Unclear. 

But one thing is clear: I need to read The Monkey’s Paw by W.W. Jacobs. It’s been referenced at least a million times up until this point, and I have no excuses now that I’m living the quarantined life. 

While the book was fine, I did think the topic of handling death with children was still relevant. It’s about as controversial a topic as it gets. Do we discuss it with children, or give them the line about pets/grandparents/old people moving to a farm and living there forever? How do we explain the afterlife? Where do people go when they die? A lot of times, adults don’t have good answers to these questions, and they don’t know how to communicate this uncertainty to children. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with letting children know adults don’t have all the answers. We don’t know what happens when someone dies, and won’t know until we die ourselves. In my experience, kids kinda like knowing you don’t have all the answers either, but you’ll be there as a sounding board, and a safe place for them to confide their fears. Honest conversations like this could have been helpful for Rachel, and prevented this whole story from happening in the first place. Maybe? 

I don’t know. 

We did have one Dark Tower reference, “No more did he walk like a gunslinger; now his walk was the slow, careful walk of the convalescent...” 

And later on, Ellie thinks Church smells like, “ka-ka...” I can’t imagine it was ka for Church to get smooshed by a truck and brought back to life, but who the hell knows. I guess we all have a foggy, but bigger purpose. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 14

Total Dark Tower References: 10

Book Grade: C+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

Different Seasons: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

The Dead Zone: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Danse Macabre: B-

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Christine: D

Next up is Cycle of the Werewolf, which I have some thoughts about...

Until next time, Long Days and Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

[trashpandaorigins]

Groot Steve Rocket Bucky Scenes from a Life: Incorrect Quotes, Scenes and Dialogues Part 1

From the team that brought you The Shrapnel in Your Heart, who really should have had their Tumblr messenger apps taken away by now, comes an intimate portrayal of a retired life of leisure, except for when it’s not. Based on the ridiculous head-canon that Groot, Steve, Rocket and Bucky all live together in a New York City apartment after Infinity War. From misadventures, pranks, and drinking shenanigans to harrowing reckonings of their past, Groot, Steve, Rocket and Bucky will eventually carve out an odd little family for themselves. That is, if they don’t kill each other first. A series of incorrect quotes, flash fics and funny scenes/dialogues. Lots of humor and fluff, some angst….okay, moderate amounts of angst.

Read the entire GSRB Scenes from a Life Series on A03

Check out the work of my partner in crime at Skarabrae_stone on A03 and follow them here @captaintoomanybattles 

Bucky: *Gasp* You’re not the raccoon I befriended! I’m divorcing from this friendship!

Rocket: You know what, fine! I’m leaving and I’m taking Steve and Groot with me!

Bucky: You leave them out of this!

*Steve and Groot look at each other*

Steve: Maybe we should stop playing Monopoly…

Steve: What happened this time?

Bucky: He stuck his tail in the vacuum nozzle.

Rocket: You made me do it!

Bucky: No, I said, ‘Don’t stick your tail in the vacuum nozzle, Rocket’, and you said, ‘don’t tell me what to do, Bucky,’ and stuck it in there!

Steve: Where are you two going?

Bucky: We’re taking a page from your book, Stevie. We’re going to volunteer at the park!

Rocket: Or commit arson, possibly robbery and identity theft.

Bucky: We’ll decide on the way there.

*Steve and Rocket come home all bruised up; they’ve obviously been fighting.*

Bucky: Steve, we talked about this! You can’t just go starting bar fights! You better have a real good reason—

Steve: Some asshole called Rocket a raccoon.

Bucky: Yeah, okay, I can accept that.

2 Hours Earlier:

“Excuse me.”

Steve looked up from his beer at the large bar owner who loomed over him. He wants to start trouble. Steve could read it easily in the way the man’s eyes scanned him.

“Yes?” He forced himself to be polite.

“You need to take your pet outside. It can’t be in here, it’s a violation of the health code."

Steve’s blood pressure rose, knuckles turning white as he held the bottle in his fist. “He’s not my pet,” he corrected.

The bar man's small eyes looked down at Rocket, and he raised a brow. “Look, the raccoon has to go.”

Steve stood, finishing his beer. “I’m gonna have to ask you to refrain from calling my friend here a raccoon.”

The man scrutinized Rocket with a bewildered, critical eye.

“It’s fine, Steve,” Rocket slurred, defeated and already three sheets to the wind. “It’s nothing I ain’t heard before.”

Steve frowned.

“Listen.” The man stepped closer, breath reeking of liquor in Steve’s face. “You and your 6th grade science experiment…”

Steve’s fist slammed into the man’s face, his nose crunching painfully as he was knocked backward. Sorry Bucky, Steve thought, regarding his promise to not start anymore fights.

The man recovered, shaking hand held to his bloody nose, and Steve braced himself. Alright, so this is how it’s going to be. Why couldn’t people just take no for an answer? Why did everything have to end in a fight? He almost smirked to himself. ...but if it must you can count on good ole’ Captain America to fight the good fight. Maybe Bucky was right. Maybe he could ditch the label all he wanted, but in his heart he still held a righteous fury.

Bucky: Steve, what are those scratches on your back?

*Flashback to Steve taking the trash out and Rocket jumping out and landing on his back as he runs around screaming trying to pry him off.*

Steve: I’m having an affair.

*Steve and Bucky come home after a date night. They find Rocket in an animal trap on their kitchen floor*

Steve: Oh my God, Rocket! Are you okay? What happened?

Rocket: Someone called the exterminator!!!

Bucky: I knew we should’ve told the landlord about him.

Rocket: * Visibly offended* Wait, you didn’t tell your landlord I was your new roommate? You know, I’m beginning to question the legitimacy of this friendship.

Steve: Is Groot still in the shower?

Rocket: Yeah, why?

Steve: Well, he’s just been in there for a while.

Rocket: He’s a growing boy! He needs to stay hydrated!

Steve: Yeah, but don’t you think two days is a little excessive?

Rocket: Stop feeding him Miracle Grow, he’s gonna get spoiled!

Bucky: *Looks offended and hugs Groot’s pot* Don’t talk to me or my adoptive son ever again!

*Watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail *

French Knight: Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

Bucky: Hey Groot, he’s talking about you!

*Driving in the car*

Bucky: Steeeve! Rocket’s trying to take my arm!

Rocket: Bucky pointed to some roadkill and said, ‘Look Rocket, that’s you’!”

Steve: So help me, you two, I will turn this car around and we will not get milkshakes.

*Both silent*

Steve: Hi, I’m Steve Rogers. I live with my boyfriend and our roommate and his son—

Rocket: *Shouting from the other room* He’s not my son!

Bucky: *Also in the other room* How dare you say that?! See, this is why I should have sole custody of Groot!

Rocket: You can have full custody when you start paying me back for all the pots and weed killers you bought him!

Bucky: You said we’d be in this together!

Steve: … there’s never a dull moment.

Groot: I am Groot?

Steve: No, you can’t have my car keys.

Groot: I am Groot ?

Steve: You have to wait ‘til you’re sixteen.

Groot: I am Groot!

Steve: I know your life cycle works differently, but those are the rules. You have to have a learner’s permit—

Groot: I am Groot.

Steve: Driving a spaceship doesn’t count! There’s nothing to bump into up there!

Groot: I am Groot!

Rocket : *In the background* That was ONE time!

*Bucky walks into teen Groot’s room. He’s watching a nature documentary about flowers and pollination.*

Bucky: Hey Groot, where’s the…

Groot: “...and so the tree releases it’s pollen...*Slamming laptop shut* I AM GROOT!

Bucky: Oh God… STEVE! PUT ME BACK IN CRYO! I MEAN IT THIS TIME!

Steve: Why?

Bucky: ASK GROOT!

Bucky: Rocket, I want you to meet a friend of mine. She’s really sweet and just your type.

*It’s a regular fox*

Rocket: H…hey there, nice to meet you. You, your fur is umm...really red...it..it looks nice.

Steve: This is mean. I’m gonna tell him.

Bucky: Don’t you dare!

*Rocket says he’s going to get decorative wall hangings for the apartment. Bucky comes home and sees he bought those letters you hang on the wall to spell things. It’s all the trigger words.*

Bucky: I swear, I’m going to turn you into a hat!

Bucky: Rocket, those scientists called! They want to know if you’ve gotten your rabies shot yet!

Rocket: I’ll give you rabies!

Steve: Please don’t, the last time you two fought we had to move…..again.

Rocket: Wait, you have a holiday where you just blow stuff up?

Steve: What? No!

Bucky: Yep! AND it’s Steve’s birthday.

Steve: YOU’RE NOT HELPING!

*Steve wakes up in the middle of the night, panicked, to the sound of gunshots*.

Steve: Bucky? You okay?!

Rocket: Hold still!

*Bucky is spinning around balancing an apple on his head while Rocket tries to shoot it off*

Bucky: What kind of shot are you if you can’t hit a moving target?!

Steve: One of you is gonna kill the other and I’m not driving you to the hospital.

*Fast forward to Bucky holding a cloth to his head in the back of the car while Steve comforts him. Groot is driving.*

Bucky: You said you wouldn’t miss!

Rocket: I didn’t! You moved at the last second!

Steve: GROOT, IT’S RIGHT ON RED, NOT LEFT!

*They careen through an intersection*

Groot: I am Groot?

Bucky: Yeah, it’s really gorey, wanna see?

Steve: NO! Eyes on the road!

Bucky: Damn raccoon shot me!

Rocket: *Whirling around* Call me a raccoon one more time and I’ll shoot you again!

Steve: Rocket, make sure Groot doesn’t kill us. Groot, stop signs are rules not suggestions. Bucky, stop moving, you’ll bleed more.  YOU ARE ALL WALKING ON VERY THIN ICE.

Bucky: Fucking animal is colorblind!

Rocket: DON’T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE!

Steve: Bucky, hold still! This is the last time you two play with guns in the house!

Bucky: Rodent, I will toss you out this skylight and you will be roadkill on the side of the street!

Rocket: YEA GOOD LUCK DOING THAT WITH YOUR ONE ARM!

Steve: *Looks at Groot* We’re all gonna die.

Rocket: It’s so sad Bucky died

Bucky: *From the other room* Quit telling everyone I’m dead!

Rocket: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

Bucky: I’M NOT DEAD

Bucky: Hey, psst Rocket, want to make some extra money?

Rocket: Do I ever!

*Bucky stands outside a makeshift enclosure with Rocket inside. Sign reads ‘Petting Zoo.’*

Rocket: You are so dead when we are done with this.

Bucky: Shut up and play with the children.

Bucky: Rocket look! *Points to where raccoons are rummaging around in the trash can behind the apartment.*

Rocket: What the hell is that?

Bucky: *Trying not to laugh* It’s….it’s you buddy.

Rocket: That is...that is not me.

Bucky: Say hello to your baby brother!

Rocket: Barnes I swear to god…

Bucky: *Pulls out a camera* Go stand next to him! I want a picture! This is going in the album.

Steve: You have an album?

Bucky: Well duh. Rocket, see if you can get it to smile!

Rocket: How the hell am I supposed to do that?!

Bucky: I dunno, growl or something? Speak the language of your people!

Rocket: They didn’t teach me no linguistics in experimentation torture school Barnes!

Steve: Bucky…

Bucky: Huh, that’s weird because that’s definitely a part of what they taught me.

Rocket: *Goes over and tries to communicate with the raccoons.*

Steve: *Face palms*

*Finally the raccoon sniffs Rocket totally looking cute and Rocket growls at it.*

Bucky: *Click* Ohhh! This is so cute, you look just like twins! This is going in the album!

[tonystarkreactor]

Falling on Deaf Ears

Inspired by this post by @reioka (because jesus it resonated hard), but it’s a bit different. Hope you like it!

Summary: It wasn’t like Tony wasn’t used to it. He had years and years of experience in being ignored. Hell, he’d grown up with Howard and Maria Stark as his parents. He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times his six-year-old self had been dismissed from Howard’s presence, even when he’d been bouncing up and down with obvious excitement. And Maria-- well, Maria was always so busy. She’d give an absent ‘mm-hm’ every once in a while, but even those were rare compared to the complete apathy he usually got.

So this. He was used to this. And hey, at least he wasn’t getting hit this time around.

(Or five times Tony's ignored by his teammates, and one time someone finally listens.)

Link for AO3

I.

It wasn’t like Tony wasn’t used to it. He had years and years of experience in being ignored. Hell, he’d grown up with Howard and Maria Stark as his parents. He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times his six-year-old self had been dismissed from Howard’s presence, even when he’d been bouncing up and down with obvious excitement. And Maria-- well, Maria was always so busy. She’d give an absent ‘mm-hm’ every once in a while, but even those were rare compared to the complete apathy he usually got.

So this. He was used to this. And hey, at least he wasn’t getting hit this time around.

“--but it can’t be Kevlar because while it’s strong, it’s not light enough, and isn’t nearly as flexible as human skin, so then I was curious and I started researching, and then I thought it could be nano cellulose, because it’s completely organic and way more flexible, but actually, it’s so organic it would react with the water in his body and it would get all bloated, and considering John Smith did not, in fact, blow up into a balloon, it couldn’t have been that. So then, I kept researching, and--”

Tony faltered as Clint glanced away, distractedly looking at the TV. Tony tried to smile, before halfheartedly continuing, “--And-- and it actually could be graphene, because it’s only made up of locked carbon crystals and is almost totally nonreactive, and it’s so light you could--”

And now Clint isn’t even looking at him at all, not even trying to make it seem like he’s paying attention.

“You-- you could actually have a layer as big as a football field, and it would still way less than...”

He isn’t listening.

“... a gram,” Tony mumbled, his hands shaking around his mug of coffee. He shut his eyes and set it down, shaking his head.

It didn’t matter. Really, it didn’t.

Tony refused to let out a breath as he silently stood up and disappeared from the room.

II.

God knew Tony liked to ramble, and despite him trying to stop himself, he constantly caught himself going on for a half hour without even stopping.

“And then this guy-- I don’t even know who the fuck he was-- just came up to me and told me-- he didn’t ask, he told me-- to sign his middle finger. I don’t know why, like was he gonna get it tattooed or something? That’s still not as weird, though, as the time when a guy…”

He didn’t even know when he’d started, but when he looked up, no one was even in the room. He looked towards the couch Steve had basically taken over the last few months. (He liked to draw in here. And watch Tony work. Not listen, though, apparently.) There was an abandoned, half-finished sketch on the coffee table.. Tony had no idea when he’d left.

Tony closed his mouth, setting down the Allen wrench he’d been fiddling with. He remembered, back in college, hanging out with Ty.

“Jesus Christ, Tony, do you ever shut up?”

Tony clenched his jaw before picking up the wrench and going back to work.

III.

The power had gone out all across the city, including the coffee shop he and Nat liked to disappear to sometimes in the middle of the night for coffees that were more sugar than coffee. When Tony pulled out his phone to find the cause of the power outage, his findings made it easy for him to pass the time with some chatting. Or rather, ranting.

“God, this is ridiculous. God fucking dammit, Justin Hammer can suck my-- you know what, no, he can’t, because I deserve better than that. Justin Hammer can suck a duck’s dick-- except no, even a rabid corkscrew-dicked duck deserves better than that. Wait, can ducks even get rabies? Justin Hammer can get rabies. Fuck, Hammer probably does have rabies, that’d explain his complete idiocy, not to mention how much he spits when he talks, Jesus Christ, and just how the hell does he manage to make a virus that causes power to go out all across Manhattan? How did that man ever finish the seventh gra--”

“Shit.”

Tony looked up from the floor, only to see Natasha’s face illuminated by her phone. She was-- she was playing a game, something that revolved around colors. Something that was completely absorbing her attention.

Attention that was not, as he thought, on him..

“Uh, Nat?” he said, his coffee suddenly feeling cold.

“Hm?” she hummed, tapping her thumb against the screen furiously. She didn’t bother to look up.

“Uh. Were you listening?” he asked, his voice sounding stupidly hopeful.

“Justin Hammer, idiot, something about duck dicks, I got it,” she said, before huffing as she lost again. “Dammit.”

Tony nodded, his voice sounding small and subdued. “Right.”

IV.

“And-- oh! Oh, you probably haven’t gone to Coney Island yet, have you? It’s fun, as long as, y’know, you don’t do the hot dog eating contest right before you ride the Cyclone. But the Wonder Wheel’s always fun. I mean, I was terrified of it when I was little, but that’s because I was scared of heights. It wasn’t like it was unfounded, though, I mean, I did fall off the roof of the mansion once. Not like. All the way to the ground. Just to one of the lower dormers. I don’t remember what I was doing. I think I was looking at the stars. Or maybe I was trying to launch a rocket. Actually, I think I might have been trying to set off a weather balloon.

“Whatever, point is, my fear wasn’t unjustified. I’m not afraid anymore, though. Of heights, that is. I’m afraid of loads of other stuff, like clowns? Dolls? All that nonsense? Yeah, no. Never. I will never allow those in my presence. At least I’m not scared of chickens. Rhodey is. They freak him out. I don’t know. Personally, I think it stems from a project involving an egg he had to do in his high school home ec class, but I’m no professional.

“What was I saying? Oh, yeah, you’d love Coney Island. You could totally invite Jane up for a weekend, it’s a prime date loca… tion.”

Thor wasn’t even standing next to him anymore. He was at a churro stand twenty feet back, smiling cheerfully at the vendor as he bought a few.

Tony closed his mouth before silently walking back to join the thunder god.

When Thor completed his purchase, he took a bite of his fried pastry. He turned to Tony, smiling widely. “Anthony! These cinnamon treats are delightful!”

Tony forced a grin. “Uh-huh.”

V.

Sometimes he wasn’t even chattering nonsense. Sometimes, it was important.

“Plus, something about just getting it off my chest, and putting it out there in the atmosphere, instead of holding this in… I mean, this is what gets people sick, you know. Wow, I had no idea you were such a good listener. To be able to share all my intimate thoughts and my experiences with someone, it just cut the weight of it in half. You know, it’s like a snake swallowing its own tail. Everything comes full circle...”

There was a thud, and Tony faltered. “And-- and the fact that you’ve been able to help me process…” He looked over, and Bruce was rubbing his eyes. He-- he just-- oh. He’d been sleeping.

“You with me?” Tony said, after a moment of hesitation, hoping he’d been wrong.

“Sorry, I was, yeah. We were at, um…”

Tony resisted a sigh. “Are you actively napping?” he said, not bothering to hide his offense.

Bruce stammered. “I was… I… I drifted.”

Tony bit his lip so he wouldn’t do something stupid like scream. “Where did I lose you?”

Bruce hesitated for a second, at least having the decency to look guilty, before he said, “Elevator in Switzerland.”

Oh. Oh. Okay. “So you heard none of it.”

Bruce shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He reached towards Tony, but the genius shifted away ever so slightly. “I’m not that kind of doctor. I’m not a therapist; it’s not my training--”

Tony’s frustration bubbled over. “So?” That’s not why he called Bruce, he was just-- his doctor told him he needed to talk to people, and he thought maybe his friend would listen, but no-- no, of course not.

“I don’t have the…”

“What, the time?” Tony finished, staring at his friend, trying not to show the way his brain was shutting down.

“Temperament.”

Tony nodded, before beginning to ramble about something meaningless so he wouldn’t say something he’d regret.

Because this had been important. It had been.

It had, hadn’t it?

1.

“--and God, he’s hopeless. He tries his best and all, but Jesus, he’s a disaster. Half the coffee I’ve ingested over the last twenty years has contained some kind of grease or oil. He has his own cone of shame that has his name on it. Honestly, he’s ridiculous. One time, though, I found him with a flower crown on his head, and I honestly have no idea how he got it. Where could Dum-E have gotten a flower crown? I think he and JARVIS were messing with me. God, those two could team up and do some ridiculous--”

Jesus Christ, Tony, do you ever shut up?

Tony cut himself off, barely glancing towards his companions before dropping his gaze to his hands, his hands fiddling with a thread on his jeans.

They didn’t care, stop fucking rambling for once in your damn life, just--

“Stark?”

Tony startled, looking up at Gamora, who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, looking at him with raised eyebrows. Expectantly.

Wait. Everyone was looking at him expectantly. Drax had turned away from looking out the window to look at him, Groot was swinging from the ceiling patiently, Rocket was looking up from the gutted gun in front of him, and Peter was sitting across from him with a grin on his face. His beloved Walkman (which used to make Tony cringe, but had since gained his own adoration as soon as he learned of the sentiment attached to it) was even paused.

“Huh?” he said, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“You were saying?” she said, tilting her head forward.

Tony blinked. “What?”

“You were telling us of your children,” Drax said. “JARVIS and the dumb one liked to team up and prank you.”

“Well--” Tony stumbled, his eyes flickering between each of them before looking at his hands again. ‘--yeah, but you guys don’t want to hear about all that.”

“What the hell makes you think that?” Rocket snapped, making Tony startle and look up. “We were all listening!”

“I am Groot!” Groot added, kicking his little legs and nodding enthusiastically.

Tony blinked, before he glanced around at them. “I-- no, it’s fine. Seriously. I get carried away sometimes. I didn’t realize I’d been talking so much, it’s fine. You guys can just-- you can just get back to what you were doing.”

Across from him, Peter frowned. Tony caught the look he gave around the room, but he didn’t get what it meant until everyone was quietly making their way out, going to different parts of the ship. Rocket grumbled and Groot sighed in defeat, but besides that, there were no protests.

Once they were alone, Peter walked around the table separating them and sat next to Tony, taking the genius’s hands in his.

“What was that, Tony?” he asked, and Tony winced when he heard the quiet hint of sadness in his voice.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to prattle on and on. Just tell me to shut up whenever, okay?” he muttered, rubbing his forehead.

Peter huffed out an exasperated yet soft, “Aw, stardust,” before he gently pulled Tony from his own seat and into his lap. “You know I will never tell you to shut up, because I love hearing you talk. Your brain is awesome and your mouth is awesome, and I love everything that comes out of both.”

Tony huffed, ducking his head and hiding his face in Peter’s neck. “Peter…” he said, a hint of exasperation in his voice.

“I’m serious,” Peter argued, pressing a kiss to Tony’s head. “You could literally talk about nothing at all for days on end, and I would never get tired.”

“That’s stupid,” Tony mumbled, his lips tickling Peter’s skin.

“Maybe, but it’s nowhere near as stupid as you thinking I don’t like it when you talk.” He ducked his chin so he could gently push Tony’s head up, and he gave him a raised eyebrow. “Would you like to tell me where exactly this worry came from?”

Tony sighed, rolling his eyes. “Pete…” he whined.

“Because if it was the Avengers--” He chuckled bitterly. “I’ve got another thing to add onto my list of stuff to shoot them about.”

“You mean talk to them about,” Tony corrected, raising his eyebrows.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay,” he said sarcastically. “If talk is a euphemism for shoot.”

“Peter.”

“Nuh-uh. If those assholes seriously made you think that people don’t care about what you’re saying, then they deserve to be shot. Everyone else agrees.”

“That’s because everyone else is gun-happy.”

“When it comes to the Avengers? Hell, yeah, we are.”

Tony rolled his eyes before dropping his head down again, allowing Peter to pepper his hair with kisses.

“Seriously, though,” Peter said. “I love it when you talk. I swear I do. Especially when you’re excited. You’re freakin’ gorgeous like that.”

“Peter,” Tony whined, even as Peter lifted his chin so he could kiss his neck.

“You are,” Peter sang, kissing up his neck and along his jaw. “You’re gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and gorgeous--”

“You said that already.”

“Stardust, you’re so gorgeous, it counts three times,” Peter mumbled into his cheek, before finally pulling away and smiling at him. “Maybe four. Maybe five.”

Tony rolled his eyes, smacking Peter’s shoulder. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Not as ridiculous as your eyes. Seriously, I could drown in those.” Ignoring Tony’s groan, he continued, “Really! There’s so pretty. I could literally stare at them all day. Like, your eyes, your lips, and your voice. That’s all I need for the rest of my life. I don’t ever need anything else. Not even food.”

Tony rolled his eyes, resting his head on Peter’s shoulder. “You’re so dumb,” he muttered fondly.

“I dunno, I must’ve done something right if I got you,” Peter said.

Tony lifted his head, giving Peter an unimpressed look.

Peter grinned, tightening his hold around Tony’s waist. “So, do you wanna keep telling me about your AIs’ and bots’ shenanigans?”

“I could,” Tony said, smiling dopily as he tipped his head forward to rest his forehead against Peter’s. “But I’d kind of rather be kissing you.”

Peter grinned. “See, I told you your mouth is awesome.”