#but like 95% of the time at least she HAS to talk things through to process them

[lukola92]

So personally, I think that there was issues between Nicola and Luke after the London premiere. I see that because she left the after party before he even got there. Then She went silent on social media. And before people comment, I know she was filming, but she was filming big mood and Bridgerton was still active on social media. We also during those early summer months she would post but she would not post her face and definitely not as much as we are used to. Personally, I think was deliberate. Clearly they somehow have made up. Or they've at least talked Because she's posting him again. And I also think she will slow down with how much she posting cuz things are slipping she showing her hand to much. And now we're getting all these songs. I also do not think that it's for Eamon or Jake. Those songs are definitely Luke coded. I think that they still have a lot to work through. But he needs to fully get out of this situation that he's in. Also, I've seen on TikTok people are mad because he's not posting a lot what do you guys expect him to do? He post you to say it's not enough. He doesn't post you say is not enough. No matter what move he makes right now people say crap to him. a lot of men I know are not big on social media. They might have one the post once in a while. They might call some videos. But they're not spending hours online looking for things the way women do. They could also be one of the reasons he didn't see this girl deviousness. I'm hoping he's seeing it now. They've all been so quiet because they're dealing with it BTS. Because since Italy, we haven't seen no pictures and we've seen pictures all summer long. Then that whole group is moving weird. Then all being quiet and S rearranging her post with her and her boyfriend being the main photos. Like I said I have a gut intinct that somethings happening. One last thing, we have all known that she leaks things to fan pages I'm 95% sure she does that. we also know that things were leaked to DM so it's not far off that things would be leaked to fan pages. so right now unless you see actual proof, don't believe anything anybody is saying. Because if he is trying to get away from her I have a really hard time believing she's going to take that lying down. She's going to try to create problems for him. And it's just so funny that we're starting to see all of these pages say that they're traveled alone (when fan pages have called that out) or talk of them getting married. It's wild rumors let's not fall into her traps. She gotten good with getting under the fandom skin.

I think that, after London N and L were ready to try to stay together, unfortunately third parties have ruined everything and L had to accept to be seen for a while with A, to protect N and not make her appear as the one who had made the "gf" betray, for sure N will have been sick but also L and we saw it clearly from his face, both have been sick these two months, but once L returned from Italy, he realized that he can't go on like this, for me he will have immediately gone to talk to nic (probably the day of the toast story) and N from that day on, has returned to being more social, returning to give us clues clearly referring to L, in italy, L will have been angry because private things came out and because they probably posted stories with the location and he didn't want it .. I think he got angry with everyone .. if you noticed the like that N gave today to chappel roan you will understand that she is tired of both her and L no longer having any privacy .. A is desperate and continues to do strange things but she hasn't understood that she is about to disappear because she is nobody, she will have to learn from her mistakes sooner or later, right? N is the only one we have to trust, I've always said that!

[illiicits]

Illicit Affairs part 1 (maybe?)

DISCLAIMER: I suck at writing and haven’t done so in a long time. So I apologize if things don’t make sense or are misspelled. I promise to get better. This was a small idea I had while at was at work cause I literally don’t have anything to do like 95% of the time so I decided to write a little Drabble.

Word count: 2822

You cover your mouth with the back of your hand as you try to bite back a yawn for the hundredth time within the last two hours. Sitting by the glow and heat of the fireplace that you so dearly adored at one point. Now the beautiful bricked object just brings back memories that used to be loved by yourself, but now replaying them just brings a pang of hurt spreading throughout your chest.

A big sigh left your lips as the sudden chime of the grandfather clock azriel had custom made startled you slightly. The clock chimes a wonderful tune, one both your mate and yourself used to hold dear to your heart. Three chimes ranging out into the deep void of the dark office it sits in. The office that as of late hasn’t been opened by the shadow singer. Always gone, always away, and always an excuse coming from those wonderful kissable lips he has. Three chimes that azriel hasn’t been here to listen to for the longest time.

Where is he? Why isn’t he home yet?

You hadn’t noticed the distance at first. He’s the high lords spymaster, always on the move and always doing his best to keep the court and everyone else safe. Something that you’d loved about him. His work ethic, his will to serve and take care of the ones he loves.

After everything he’s been through you’d think the man would’ve retreated every single emotion known to man, kept far away from anyone at all. But his friends take care of him, his family takes care of him. You make sure to do your best to provide him with friendship, love, care, and all the other things he needs.

Azriel and you met by chance.

You were originally from spring court. Your parents somehow settled close to the wall. Hoping to one day have it come down and everyone live in peace. That day never came. Waking in the morning to find your parents had vanished. Never knowing why, how or even where they went. You knew your home life wasn’t always the best but it was never bad enough that you’d think they’d leave without a good bye.

Leaving you alone at such a young age has scarred you in more ways that you’d like to admit to anyone, including Azriel. You don’t even like to awknowledge that fact to yourself. Which is a huge red flag on your part but even with that you learned to be alone on your own, to not depend on anyone other than yourself.

Spending years finding a way to survive, after everything that happened with the high lord of the spring court you tried your best to stay in the shadows of not only the spring court and those who still lingered, but doing the upmost to stay far far far away from amarantha and the viscous rumors, or what you thought were rumors. Turns out she was a thousand times worse than those tiny tiny rumors, which says a lot about the power and utter evil she was consumed with.

During the fall of Amarantha, you slowly worked your way through courts. Trying to find some sense of belonging to at least one of them. Nothing in them kept you there for long. Until you somehow met a tiny firey women in some little bar. She talked your ear off and introduced you to some other girls that night. Somehow you slowly befriended all of them. Each one offers friendship and kindness with open arms.

When you finally got around to meet azriel you couldn’t help but sneak glances at the handsome man. The way he carried himself and his interest but lack of interaction was enough to get you to talk to him.

Slowly, you became friends with the spymaster. Never once letting him use the excuse that his shadows, past or his fearful reputation scare you off. Somewhere along the lines he started sneaking glances at you, at dinner, talking with friends. Az admitted that he’d walk into a room and the first thing he found was you. His shadows are always seeking out what they desire, what Az himself desires.

The bond clicked for you in the middle of a family game night.

You were all squished onto the top of Rhys apartment rooftop patio. The lack of seating caused everyone but you to have a seat to themselves. Struggling with sitting on the floor, azriel finally got annoyed enough with your figetting.

“Stop that already” Azriels firm voice spoke.

“Stop what?” You had questioned shifting your weight from one side of your ass to the other. The concert floor even with a soft blanket cushioning some of the cold and hardness still made your ass numb and sore.

He had given you a pointed look after you said that. He had let a small sigh fall from his lips with a roll of his eyes and the smallest of grins on his face. He lifted his hand and patted his thigh twice. You stared at the spymaster. A blush formed on your cheeks. “Well come on” he had said. You had quickly scrammed to get up and into his lap. Sitting with your back leaned against the armrest of the couch and both of your legs draped over his thighs.

Azriel had held you like that for the rest of the night. His right arm was thrown over the back of the couch and his left hand splayed out over your thigh. You couldn’t concentrate with the heat of him being so close.

Your senses seemed to have heightened with him being so close. The smell of his deep forest , wood and midnight rain scent had you wanting to wrap yourself around him and never let him go. The feel of his breath when he laughed about Rhys antics or cassian poking fun at Mor, had been leaving little butterflies in your stomach and his small smile he’d give you when he caught you looking at him had nearly stopped your heart.

At some point in the night Azriel had gone deathly silent and still. You didn’t notice his heated gaze on the side of your face. You had been laughing at a joke someone made when the hand on your thigh that had a death grip started tingling. You had placed your hand over top of his and quickly glanced up to the shadow singer.

You hadn’t noticed his shadows all night. Almost forgot about them all together but they had completely covered you and Az now. Forming a thick black layer of fog over the two of you.

It had felt like forever. Just staring into each others eyes not one of you wanting to say a word to the other. Scared of what was happening. You had gently reached out your hand, fingers lightly brushing the crease in between Az’s eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” You questioned him softly. You voice was barely even a whisper scared to send that soft side of azriel back into hiding like normal.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. His eyes are just glazing over your face. He'd look at your soft pink lips, up to the little nose that he so much adored, over your lightly freckled cheeks, then he’d catch your beautiful eyes and just stare so intensely that you felt the need to wiggle under his gaze.

The tingling on your thigh had increased as he started rubbing it. He distracted you from thinking of trying to get him to talk about the sudden issue. You pulled your eyes away from his hand on your thigh, meeting his gaze. Looking into his eyes you felt the slight snap in your mind. Your eyes had widened so much that you could’ve sworn you looked like a big eyed bug.

“Oh” you softly said startled at what just happened. “Oh?” Azriel had reiterated back to you in question an eyebrow slightly raised. “Oh my mother” you said in panic. “You, you’re, oh my mother!, you’re my mate!” you replied, stuttering over your words.

Azriels lips formed into a smile. He gently took your face in his hands to hold you still. “My mate” he said to you, just holding your eyes and smiled. “I can’t believe I found you, so close and already so much a part of the family” Azriel admitted. He slowly reached forward and kissed the tip of your nose. “I couldn’t have asked for anyone more perfect.” He whispered to you. Your breath had caught in your throat as you tried to choke back a sob threatening to escape you. You had finally found home.

how did you miss it?

You missed the distance that started to grow between the two of you. You missed how his thirty minutes late excuse slowly became an hour, then an hour became two. Eventually at some point, he stopped even letting you know he’d be missing dinner or something else.

You tried not to think too much about it. Always making excuses for him after he stopped coming up with his own.

The fire light flickered, providing a faint soft glow throughout the otherwise dark room. You shift in your chair catching the soft throw blanket laid across your thighs. Wearing his favorite little silk shorts with the matching top to go alone with the outfit you waited for your mate to come home.

A rustle was made in the quiet house. 5 am and azriel finally made it home. He was taking his coat off at the front door along with his black shoes. He had his Illyrian leathers on but most of the buckles were undone and made a slight jingle sound every time he took a step.

The pitch black house had not a sound echoing throughout it. No sign of anyone being here. No coats or shoes out of place from earlier this morning. Normally the house was filled with the lovely smell of spices found in a market stall in the city, but tonight azriel realized that he’s home a little late. Later than he has ever been.

Az made his way throughout the dark house, heading for the kitchen to look for some form of food. He passed by the living room. Not noticing the small delicate female sitting in his favorite chair by the now faint glow of the fire.

In the kitchen azriel rummaged through the cabinets looking for anything to make a snack with. His mind still a little fuzzy from the fairy wine he drank earlier at dinner. His senses slightly blocked and his shadows slightly reserved after a long night of drinking, eating and fun.

You waited patiently for the shadow singer to come back from the kitchen and realize you were sitting there in his chair. Listening carefully to the cabinets opening and closing and the shuffling around in the kitchen told you he wasn’t aware that you in fact weren’t sleeping inside the bed that is located upstairs.

Grabbing the throw blanket and wrapping it around yourself, you made your way to the arch way of the kitchen. Staring at the sight of a man you love so much shuffling around, you narrowed your eyes focusing on his slightly sluggish movements. Something you don’t see in the strict and focused posture of the shadow singer normally. Eyes glazing over the kitchen you spot some of his leathers on the small table by the back door.

“I left you a plate of tonight’s dinner in the fridge.” You spoke softly. Even with your whisper that left your lips the spay master's back muscle tensed his black shirt flexing with the action.

Azriel stilled for a couple more seconds before he turned around to face you.

“Y/N” he breathed out. “What are you going up? Did I wake you? He questioned with a tone you couldn’t quite place. “If I did my apologies, go back to bed” said azriel dismissing your presence.

Green eyes locked onto hazel eyes for a few moments. Your green eyes trail across his face down to his chest and then repeated the motion in an upward movement. Green eyes narrowed on something by Azriel’s collarbone. Hiding partly behind the black shirt collar. Azriel moved slightly making the shirt move ever so slightly fully covering the mark you were eyeing. His shadows that weren’t there a few moments ago slowly showed themselves. Wrapping around the warriors wings that were tightly tucked up to his back.

The sight of his shadows wrapping around his form a couple months ago would’ve made you weak in the knees. Now they made you mad.

your anger grew the longer you both didn’t say anything to each other. You cleared your throat one, twice, three times and azriel didn't acknowledge you.

Frustration and angry radiating off of you in waves. “Azriel!”. The emotions you were feeling definitely were detectable in your voice. Nothing could’ve hidden the feelings even if you tried. Tired of all his sneaking around, showing up late, leaving early before you can even utter a word, he’ll before you’re even up and out of bed. Tried and frustrated and just plain angry at the man standing before you, you broke completely.

You stalked towards him. Cornering the shadowsinger between you and the Corner cabinet of your kitchen. Azriel stared at you in shock. Having never seen such anger and frustration on your face directed right at him. Caused by him.

A thin hand reached out towards his shirt collar. Azriel tried to swat it away but you reached out again and grabbed the collar and yanked it down. Green blew wide open. Breathing becomes raggedy as you fixated green eyes at the marks left on his skin. Like pink in some areas and purple and red colors in the other. Azriel reach up and tried to pry your death grip off his collar but he couldn’t get you to let go.

“Y/N” he said. “Y/N, let go of my shirt, let it go”. Azriel's voice was faint in your ears. Not recognizing he was speaking to you he repeated your name once again.

Azriel stared at you. Watching emotions pass on your beautiful face. He didn’t know what to tell you. Az knew he messed up, has been messing up for months now. He didn’t know what the hell was happening with him in the first place. He didn’t know why he was hypnotized by the sweet and loving female he just left. Didn’t know why he enjoyed her company so much or why she always sought him out. He was willing to take what happened tonight to the grave. Wasn’t even an option to remotely tell you but the mother had other plans.

“Az? What- what is this? Why would you, you…” voicing creaking and breath shaky, questions fell from your lips when you recognized his voice calling your name.

The room suddenly felt way too hot, his hand engulfing yours felt like fire and lighting. Tear filled eyes shot up to his face. Threatening to spill over your wispy eyelashes. You don’t remember willing your body to move, it just decided to move on its own. You had pushed past the shadowsinger, feeling his shadows desperately circling around your wrist and up your arms. Feeling them desperately tugging at your ankles, wrapping them around your legs trying to get you to stop as Azriel followed behind you, pleading and apologizing to hear him out.

You raced up the stairs turning the corner and practically sprinting down the hallway to your shared bedroom. Spinning on your heel’s as soon as you made it through the door to slam the door in the face of your mate.

Az banged on the door “Y/N? op- open the door please.” The door knob wiggled as you slid down the door pulling your knees to your crest and finally letting the tears fall. “Baby, please just open the door, I’ll explain everything. It- it was an accident. I don’t know what happened, I’m sorry, just let me in so I can hold you, love.” Az pleaded.

You sobbed harded hearing him use nicknames that you loved. You felt him tugging and pulling hard on the bond trying to get in. Trying to show that he was there and he wasn’t going anywhere. Tears fell harder as you watched his shadows slowly glide from the crack under the door to wrap around you. You heard the movement of Az as he turned around and slid down the door.

You don’t know how long you sat there before finally the tears slowly stopped flowing and you drifted off to sleep, back against the door with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes; with your knees pulled up to your chest and shadows wrapping around your body.

[digenerate-trash]

All of my teacher head cannons are based on my experiences with real teachers. 

that being said: 

More teacher head cannons!!! 

(this time I rated them on how well I think they would be as a teacher)

Doren

Lowkey would fuck a student if they got consent.

Gives off “I have a daddy kink” energy but not the cool kind 

Calls students Good boy/girl to gauge their reactions.

Will give extra homework to the whole class if one dude pisses them off

Has a ‘I’m the cool’ teacher thing going on but is really the most uncool bitch in the whole world. 

Would spit on you if he could get away with it. 

Is absolutely a bitch that says “I don’t know CAN you?” when you just need to piss

Will put stickers on your tests that say generic shit like “good job” and “wonderful” 

No one gets graded above a 95% because he personally believes that he knows better than every student and even some teacher's real “I'm the smartest man in this school” energy 

Will put on movies at the end of the year because he doesn't feel like teaching the last week 

Overall 2/10 I’m not learning shit in this class (out of spite.)

Mason

Needs approval from everyone for everything. 

Probably just learning the ropes as a teacher 

The cool teacher. 

Everyone wants a piece of this man and he just wants to swim

Could literally convince him the sky was purple he's a gullible mess

Gym body but puppy personality 

Would throw hands at anyone who harassed any of his students. 

Gentle teaching methods. Sometimes super effective but some students use it to coast

Super easy to get sidetracked

Undiagnosed ADHD man 

Students openly flirt with him and he's got no clue how to respond so he's just like “Haha good joke” 

Would not fuck a student no matter what, 

Clueless about other teachers and the inner politics going on at the school 

Stay in his lane king 

Absolutely started off as a lifeguard and doesn't know how his life got here

6/10 I’m a big fan of your class but it's only because it's easy. 

River

Virgin. 

Has a full life outside of school 

Like two years away from retirement 

When the class gets too out of hand wants to curl up and die right there

Stressed as hell 24/7 

Never married never will be 

Teaching style is harsh as hell but will stay after school or give up their lunch break to help out students who are struggling 

No days off in this class it doesn't matter if your exams are done. School is school and you will learn as long as you are here

Doesn't play favourites but he seriously should. 

Hates Doren (just has a bad feeling about the dude) 

5/10 I'm trying my best dude please stop saying you know I can my reach potential if I applied myself. Its math. I'm not gonna apply myself

Sirris

Says she “knows what I'm going through” but I doubt her science teacher was a MILF. 

Why are you always wearing low-cut tops??? 

At least one rumor about how a student fucked her over her desk and it was so good she hentai came. 

Gentle teaching style but doesn't take any shit. 

Has considered slapping students but never would 

Personal stories that tie into the lesson somehow 

Talks all the time about how much she loves her kid and how much of an angel he is 

Would love to get a tiny kiss on the head from her. Please

She brings a lot of momma bird energy to the class. 

Will touch your shoulder very gently 

Will then look over your test and say to the whole class “Remember to read the questions on the test carefully”

A student has absolutely called her ‘mom’ by accident and she feels flattered by that

Will put on bill nye on Fridays after a test to give everyone a break. 

8/10 Either adopt me or let me make out with you. I'm dealing with confusing feelings! 

Winter

Bro if Sirris is a MILF winter is like a super MILF with no kids. 

Big BDSM lesbian energy. 

Her weekends are booked solid and she has no time for school life to get involved with that. 

Wears SFW leather accents all the time no matter the weather. 

Has decided that instead of gray hair they want platinum blonde and they are rocking it 

Calls her students good boys/girls out of habit. 

Absolutely could beat any of the other teachers in a fight. 

She's super passionate about history and has several antiques which she considers priceless. 

Students who mock her subject are always sorry after she lectures them. 

She's happy to help students during lunch. But not after school. She has boundaries 

Overall 8/10. Im not confused. Fuck me into the historically accurate pillary with your massive strap. Im fucking ready. 

Leighton

Evil. 

Will fuck students without their consent 

Absolutely blackmails students and teachers. 

Dude jacks it under his desk at school while he watches porn after using his admin pass to get passed the website blockers. 

Will send teachers an NSFW link and then mark them for disciplinary action for clicking on it. (Mason will fall for this trick every time) 

Has never and will never hire an outside consultant or HR representative claiming its a ‘waste of resources’ 

Dude will rub his hard dick on your back while you're sitting in his office for detention. 

Piss kink. Don't ask me for evidence. I just get this /feeling/

Will take a long weekend more than a couple of times a year just for the fun of it. But will never allow the same grace to any other teacher. 

Has a file of his favourite students that he meticulously plans to molest. It's like a black book. 

Bro obviously watches teacher/student porn or 18yr/old man porn at school. 

Teaching style is fucking old school. Reinforcement through pain/ruler. Writing lines. Detention sessions are just holding a penny between your knees and standing in the corner with a dunce cap on. 

Plays favourites but if you are his favourite fucking watch your back. 

0/10 I’m not learning shit. And also I dread office visits. If you touch me I'm calling the police.

[hero-israel]

I wanted to apologize again for the rant. I barely remember writing it (which is kinda terrifying). I saw your suggestion to breathe and I’m trying lol. But I saw that it angered a number of people in the notes and I wanted to reiterate:

-I try and fight by finding information that combats the vast array of misinformation and spread the correct information. I’m an anxiety ridden non confrontational person and people online tend to be five times more eloquent than me. So basically all I can do is “spread the word.” The more people see the whole picture, the better, right? With my own mental struggles, I’ll see some horrid information, try and find where it came from and how it spread. When it’s everywhere ( on so many news outlets) and I don’t know what to do, I freak out. The awful Congo rumors are an example. Given the government has pulled back on those words, the best thing to call them at this point are rumors, right?

It’s surreal where I am. I am well aware I’m privileged. I count my blessings, and I worry over those that don’t. (Every story and testimony I hear about the female hostages in particular make me feel helpless and sick to my stomach. So much talk about the crisis women in Gaza are facing, but nothing about the conditions of female hostages. You have to actively search to find out, and it’s usually independent sources spreading the word of what released hostages have said).

And all of the conflict where I am is online. In the outside world, off of the local college campus, (which I think I said. I apologize again, I think I wrote the previous message in a panic,) people are only interested in their coffee. I count myself lucky that I have yet to encounter real life anti semitic situations when I know they’re happening a few hours away from me in larger cities. I am in no financial/economical position to volunteer in Israel to help relocate and aid the displaced in the south, as it came to my attention that there are international volunteers going over. I found out about Stand Together, which I tend to look into. I heard it’s a good organization. And then there’s….Tzedaka? Idk. I just know there are some good Israeli based organizations that give aid, but I can’t remember their names. I’d recognize them if someone said them.

I’m astonished I wrote that much? So I’m going to have to step back. I at least know domestically, I can help by getting the right people elected and combat misinformation. Biden will at least give everyone the freedom to fight with words. Trump would take away freedom of the press and chop free speech in half first chance he gets. I wonder about Nikki Haley, but I’m skeptical she will win the primary.

I don’t understand a lot of what’s going on because I feel like I keep wandering through muck. but I try. When I don’t get what I’ll looking for through news sources, I ask here. It’s easy to tell when news is biased these days and what’s telling the whole story these days. I think I struggle to comprehend how small Israel is sometimes and the idea of everyone being out on the field. (And I understand it’s a privilege to struggle to comprehend such a thing, if that makes sense). I keep thinking there must be people at their homes to fight the government when the government is being stupid, like the protests that happened during COVID, while at the same time I read today about a 95 year old man volunteering to work in the IDF. I try and figure out what’s going on with the regular every day people in Israel, knowing there’s active IDF and volunteers helping the displaced and any Gazans fleeing (though I think the border at the moment is closed, I could be wrong). Is it like Ukraine where quite literally anyone that is physically and economically able to do something is doing something to help?

I read yesterday that a vote may be held? That makes me hopeful. But it’s rare to vote a prime minister or president out of office in the middle of war. And it came to my attention that Israeli politics are as divided as American politics are. I knew they were divided before the war began, as I knew about the two massive protests that happened. I didn’t realize /how/ divided they were until recently. It seems are just more lines drawn in the sand in Israel than there are in the States, and there are more factions and coalitions in Israel. And while there’s not as many lines drawn in the States, the existing lines run deep, and they’re getting vicious. I don’t know how bad the lines drawn are in Israel.

So uh yeah, to everyone, I’m sorry for any misunderstandings. I ramble more than I am eloquent. I’ll take my anxiety ridden butt offline for the moment. I’ll come back better. And thank you specifically for reminding me to breathe

The responses from Israelis on the original post are worth reading.

I didn't have the time or space to address every point of the first post and I still don't for this one, but I can say this much:

When someone is struggling with anxiety, it can leave them prone to doom-spirals even during "normal" levels of bad news. Right now for every Jew except the ~240,000 remaining Holocaust survivors, the news is worse than we've ever seen in our lives. We are all feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to help, how to chip in. If it has indeed reached the level of panic - which you described as severe enough to leave you with "missing" time / actions - it's okay to really take some time off from this, to get help. It's okay to set a literal timer on your phone for how much you engage - to give yourself one hour every other day, and stick to it. No one is helped by a person getting so deep into crisis that they can't function.

You mentioned the programs where people can travel to Israel to help keep farms operational and stuff care packages for displaced families - perhaps you yourself aren't in a position to do that, but could you instead try to encourage other people to do it? Can a local synagogue recommend a phone-banking effort?

The Congo stuff is not a "rumor" - it is "jerking off." Someone idly speculating / wishing to do something which they have neither power nor mechanism to do. It is significantly less real than the time Trump talked about buying Greenland; put it in that context.

Israel is a tiny country, with genocidal fascist militias parked on its northern and southern borders; the reason they can't just pull out of the West Bank is because if not properly managed it would immediately turn into another Gaza but bigger and on top of a mountain range with all of Israel's biggest cities at the bottom. The country is now forced to mobilize for self-defense in a way most Americans can't imagine; if my math is correct, about 4% of the entire population is on active duty within Gaza now, and they all left their families and day jobs behind.

Your prior post asked "can't sensible Israelis stop Netanyahu?" - they've been trying very hard and the outside world has no clue. There were massive protests and riots near-nonstop for a year, including a general strike that shut down the entire country - shut down the hotels and the airport! - that actually managed to get the judicial overhaul postponed. When it did come back, it was in a weaker form (still awful), and then the courts were able to erase the very worst of it and postpone other parts. As an American who has done my fair share of door-to-door canvassing, protesting, and """awareness-raising""", I wish American progressives and centrists had been that successful when it came to, say, the Iraq War, or gun control, or protecting Roe...

There is no imminent vote on the current government (there are municipal elections coming very soon, but those are less important). The next national election - the kind you're thinking of - is October 2026. Which is awful to think about and I sincerely hope the government collapses long before then, as Israeli governments have tended to do for the last 5-6 years.

In general, the most reliable news sources are TOI and Ynetnews, and I listed some good resources here.

I hope this was somewhat helpful and that you are able to reach a better place while still finding a way to defend our community.

[elvenbeard]

I finally sat down and played Reed's path in Phantom Liberty and HOLY shit. Spoilers below the cut just in case köahsdföahdsf

MAN. I was like, 95% unspoilered for everything, the only things I knew was: you gotta fight against Kurt, there is a scene in So Mi's apartment, some Cynosure fuckery, and I had seen gifs of So Mi in the core at the end (and deducted HM. she isn't looking to good, I feel like this is an ending where she dies).

But so so so many things came unexpected and got me so damn good!! I had fun fighting against Kurt, his little knife-throwing sequences (though I still wouldve loved a peaceful solution more than this XD a third path where you side with him or sth like that). I did not expect that we'd be fucking with MaxTac alsködhfasf that little bit was so fun, from setting up to having to fight them (though I also really struggled with that at first, rightfully so xDD).

The level design of the Cynosure was amaaaazing, the creepy horror vibes, the voices the jumpscares aödshfasf I loved that so much. I was not at all prepared for the Cerberus mech, that was mean af xD But so fun, gameplay-wise, so creepy, too. I ate up the lore of the place (and how insane that something like this exists under NC - and how much more similar shit must exist as well for other corporations??).

How the apartment sequence was done blew my whole mind, the transition between the bunker and the apartment, the little flashbacks, and how everything slowly crumbled and fell apart. I love that you can hug So Mi ;___; and man, I was crying so much at the end, the pain... but the only thing that felt right in that moment was killing her and giving her her freedom, and it was so raw and gentle and horrible all at the same time (also V's reaction was ;____; aaaahhh my boy).

I loved that we got a chance to shit-talk Myers XD And that, after all that in the end, Reed may finally find his freedom too and get away from the FIA for good!! I was adskhföasf so feral about his and Vince's parallels again, losing everything and being forced to start over. I loved his line that went like "thanks to you I have a choice now, something I haven't had in a long time". And man, I hope he uses his chance to get as far away from Myers and Washington and all that crap as he can, while he still can (just how that whole experience has deterred Vince from wanting to go back to Arasaka for good xD).

Overall though, I gotta say. I felt like the villain the whole time xD From betraying So Mi (still so obsessed that the options are called "Betray XYZ", not "Side with XYZ" which I've seen much more commonly in games with choices - It's a small detail but it makes such a difference in tone!!), to chasing her down all along it always felt wrong xD I'm glad at least towards the end there were some dialogue options that went away from the patronizing "we just wanna safe you" and "this is all for your best", and felt more human again.

So, for Vince's canon, if he goes through with PL from start to finish, he would rather betray Reed - and in return be betrayed by So Mi in the end aöshdajshf but yeah. Immersion and story-wise, her path felt more true to what he would do, even though I liked the outcome for Reed a lot in this. (and I guess that's really where the main difference lies in the end in all the choices, who gets to live and have their freedom in the end, and how much V is willing to sacrifice).

Also, since I went down the path of not handing So Mi over this time and not unlocking the new ending, instead I got new Mr. Blue-Eyes headcanons material O.O aksdfahsöf highly recommend looting the Cerberus mech and crafting the Cyberdeck in the "Unknown Number" related quest after the credits, in case you always wanted two more or less creepy talking constructs in your head xD

[changingplumbob]

Random Ramblings

If this is somehow even more long winded than I normally am (yeah it's long), it's because I'm going through an IBS flare up that is kicking my butt.

BUT I wanted to get my thoughts out about some of my content warnings, because I'm very tired and have been shoving the same one in front of my Reece/Samir parts even if they might not reflect that particular part because I'm too tired to judge how spicy warrants a spice warning.

Where to start... If you haven't figured it out, all my grown sims are currently woohoo positive, as in they do not think that how much woohoo a sim does or does not have dictates how "good" a person is. Why? Because whoever made sex synonymous with shame is stupid and has ruined many a life (it was probably a dude, no offense dudes out there).

While I don't currently have any sims that are asexual, not all my sims feel the same about woohoo.

For example Charlie and Kaori would choose a good chat over woohoo most times. Not because they don't love each other, or are averse to woohoo, but because that's who they are together. Most days they tire themselves out as athletes and prefer to relax together

Cassandra and Rahul on the other hand love to have woohoo, particularly unprotected, three kids and still not done

Keira, who rolled the soulmate aspiration, chose to wait before she had woohoo. Her high school girlfriend (Morgan Fryes) cheated on her because she wouldn't woohoo. Even after meeting Marta (her now fiance) she wanted to wait until she felt comfortable being vulnerable around her.

Then of course we have my superstar Joey who is aromantic but allosexual (a mod did that, I didn't choose it). As soon as he became a YA he got a fwb. His philosophy is basically, oh she identifies as she? Can I hit it? I love you Joey that's why I call you a slut

Normally I just chuck up a sim spice warning if there are some screenshots taken during woohoo. Me being me, I don't feel like including pixel private parts in my published posts. Kudos to all you who do, it's just not my style. It's also rare that I'll write about anything that happens during a woohoo session, mostly I'll just write some foreplay then say it happened. That said, I do like to chuck in innuendo here and there if it feels like something my sims would say (any other writers feel like they know exactly what their sims would say at times?). I'm also not in a hurry to be classified as a mature blog, purely because that doesn't fit like 95% of my gameplay. Yes, I use wicked whims for my gameplay, but that doesn't mean I'm going to show you Luna being a lowkey pillow princess... shut up brain you can't just say that

Finally, on to my babies Reece and Samir. If there are spectrum's they are at the extreme end (also in my country the age of consent is 16 so any hijinks they get up before Reece turns 18 isn't percieved as illegal here). They both enjoy woohoo, like a lot a lot. Probably didn't help that there rotation had love day in it but they both also have high woohoo drives. They were flirty most of the time, so what would they do in that state? Sweet talk each other of course.

Now, if you weren't aware and you probably weren't cause it's been ages since their last rotation Reece and Samir also have a dynamic my other sims don't. Although on reflection Bob and Eliza have it as well, just to a lesser extent. Reece, chatterbox ego that he is, is a submissive. Samir, who barely says more than a sentence to anyone but Reece, is a dominant. When together they'll often lean into these roles, using both innuendo and statements of things their partner does that they're in to. Some people would probably label things that even use those words as mature, but it's a dynamic that exists people.

Now their chapter isn't me suddenly switching to speaking in 100% innuendo, but it has more than my average writing, at least for the first half you'll understand later if you read hence the sim spice warning. Looking back on it the chapter does not contain any screenshots mid woohoo, but the dialogue makes me want to put a disclosure above the cut, since I'm still not sure of all the rules around here, and my IBS is making it hard to focus right now.

Woohoo talk done? It's done! That's what she said... shut up brain, we're not twelve!

The other warning is about sim death. No one dies in the chapter but it deals with figuring out what happened to Samir's birth parents. Previously it's been established they were killed when he was 5 but the chapter and my Samir flashback pov short bit that I am low key proud of does involve mention of blood, death, dying etc. Me being me, I do not include any screenshots of dead, dying or seriously bleeding sims, it's not my aesthetic (don't act as though you don't love playing Until Dawn, the Quarry and The Dark Pictures Anthology which is full of gore... okay yes but gore does make me queasy for the most part, could never ever watch a saw film) and things aren't described in explicit detail. But death is death and grief is complex. It can hit you at unexpected times in unexpected ways.

So why am I bothering to put content warnings at all? Still sounds pretty tame. Yeah, probably, but as mentioned, I still don't know all the rules around here. Plus I would choose for someone to not read my story and avoid seeing something that upset them, than have someone grieving a loss see my dead sims bodies on their dash because I tagged it Sims4 every time. So if you see a content warning on my post, it most often just means viewer discretion advised. Not that you'll click and get flashed by my sims.

[chaotic-goodsir]

Your curtwen drabbles get me everytime you write them so well!! Thank you so much for writing them 😭 If you’re up for it, how about 95 for curtwen or lautski

Aw, thank you!! You're absolutely welcome - I've had a lot of fun writing these and I'm glad you enjoyed them! This is maybe not quite what you expected for this prompt, but I hope you like it anyway. It's also the longest so far I think, so uh, so much for drabbles. I really need to learn to write shorter things.

(I went for Curtwen again, because I am predictable 😅)

*

Ms Mega has a plan.

The inspiration first struck couple of days ago. Curtis was away on agency business  - some kind of important meeting - and she was in the living room, sorting through old photo albums. She'd almost forgotten she wasn’t alone in the house when a hesitant voice spoke up from the doorway.

'Um, good morning, Ms Mega. Could I… can I help you with that, at all?'

The voice's owner looked, as usual, in dire need of a decent night's sleep. He leant against the doorway as though it was the only thing keeping him standing, one hand anxiously twisting the tie on that blue plaid dressing gown she’d given him to borrow.

She shuffled over and patted the couch beside her.

‘Well of course! Come and sit down. I was just trying to get these photos organised. You know, I can never get Curtis to help me with things like this. You wait here and I’ll get us some coffee – or tea, if you want?’

Owen sat down like someone half in a dream, picked up an envelope of unsorted photos and stared at it like he wasn't sure exactly what to do.

‘Tea or coffee, honey?’ she asked again.

'Oh, um, tea would be excellent, thank you.'

‘I haven’t started on that envelope yet – how about you have a look through them and we’ll pick the best ones for this album? I’ll be right back.’

When she glanced back from the door as she left, Owen had barely moved. He sat staring straight ahead at the fireplace, absent-mindedly turning the envelope over and over, in a way that made Ms Mega think of her cousin Jack after the Great War. Not for the first time, she found herself worrying about her son's English friend.

By the time she came back with the drinks, he'd at least opened the envelope and was flicking through some of the photos. He paused on one that showed Curtis, aged maybe about twelve, dressed up all fancy with his arm around that lovely girl from next door, whose name she found she couldn’t recall.

'Ah, that's from the dancing competition!' she explained as Owen studied the photo. 'He used to be very good, you know. Takes after his mama.'

'Dancing?'

'Ballroom,' she said proudly. 'He used to love dancing with me when he was little, so I sent him to classes when I could afford it. That girl lived next door to us - she was his partner. They were such good friends. Like peas in a pod. I used to think they might get married one day! Well, I suppose he doesn't do much dancing now, with all the spying and everything. It's a shame. He had a real a talent for it.'

'So you'll want to keep this one, then?' Owen asked, looking at the chaotic pile of albums on the coffee table as though wondering where to start.

'Keep it? Maybe I oughta frame it! Curtis would be so embarrassed to see it again.'

Owen smiled a little at that. He put the photo aside and picked up the mug of hot tea, clasping it tightly in both hands. She couldn't help but notice the mug shaking a little.

'Are you feeling alright, honey?’ she asked, sitting back down beside him.

‘Mm? Yes, sorry. I’m fine. Thank you.’

She’d have thought a secret agent would be a better liar.

‘There’s no need to help me if you’re not feeling so good. You just watch if you like. It’s nice to have someone to talk to. Curtis will tell you, I can talk anyone’s ear off.'

So she carried on with her sorting, and Owen listened while she talked about vacations and school awards and weddings and christenings and relatives he had no reason to be interested in. It was strange - she'd done the same with Tatiana, but as sweet as the Russian girl was, she'd never shown the kind of interest Ms Mega would have expected from her son's future fiancée. Maybe Tati just wasn't the nostalgia type.

Owen, on the other hand - once he finished the tea and relaxed a little - seemed to have a million questions. What did Curt win that award for? (Dancing, again. He and his partner were first in the county!) Where were they in that photo by the sea? (California, the furthest they'd ever travelled before Curtis got his spy job and the house in Guadeloupe). Who was the man in some of the older photos? (Curtis's father. He left when he was a baby, and good riddance. By that time he wasn't a very nice man to be around…)

Something about the interest Owen took in her son’s life only increased Ms Mega’s suspicions – the ones she’d been harbouring ever since Curtis first brought this stray to her door. She knew her son must have his reasons for bringing Owen here, and for jumping through what seemed like endless agency hoops to help him after whatever it was that happened in Europe. Before he left for this particular meeting, he’d asked her to take care of Owen while he was gone - which, of course, she would have done anyway, but there was something in his tone she’d never heard him use for anyone else. Not even for Tati.

Ms Mega is nothing if not both nosy and resourceful, and so, after the photos reminded her of her son's talent for dancing, she started to hatch her plan.

Now, a few days later, she's waiting in the living room holding a record she found in the attic, grinning to herself at her own mischief. She’s pushed the coffee table to one side to make space for a dancefloor, and strategically left the album with the photos from her son’s dancing career open on top of it. Dinner is in the oven, and now all that’s left to set the plan in motion is for Curtis and Owen to return.

Curtis got home last night, and she chased the two of them out of the house this morning with ‘spring cleaning’ as an excuse. Of course they (or, well, Owen) offered to help, but she pushed them out of the door all the same.

'Don't be silly! Now off you go for a walk, or whatever it is you boys do for fun. It'll do you some good to get out of the house.'

Officially, Owen is not supposed to leave the house at all. But a guest in Ms Mega's house lives by Ms Mega's rules - not those of any spy agency, even one that pays the rent.

The boys should be back soon, now. She dusts off the record and sets it on the battered old record player, and once she’s sure it isn’t too scratched to play properly, she starts to dance.

She pretends she doesn’t hear Curt call out as he walks in the door. Best not to look as though any of this was prepared.

Curtis and Owen appear in the doorway just as she's twirling under the arm of an imaginary partner, her skirt and apron spinning. She can tell Owen is politely trying to hide a smirk. Curtis just looks mortified.

'Mom? What are you doing?'

She grins.

'Oh, don't mind me! Just reliving my younger days. Curtis, I found some old photos of when you used to go do dancing lessons with that girl from next door. Do you remember that? She was such a nice girl, what was her name?'

‘…Sadie?’

'That’s it! You know, I was telling Owen the other day what a good dancer you used to be. You had a real talent, ever since you used to dance with me as a baby.'  She grabs his wrist, trying to drag him into a dance with her, but he pulls away, face scarlet.

‘Mom!’

'What? Too embarrassed to dance with your old mother? Jeez. I guess I’ll just go and get dinner ready then. Honestly, a mother can’t have any fun.’

She winks at Owen as she passes him in the doorway, and enjoys the slightly baffled look on his face. Plan stage one: complete.

She tries her best to listen in from the kitchen as she takes the pie out of the oven and prepares the potatoes. The record stops playing abruptly, and for a moment she’s disappointed, but then it starts up again. There’s muffled talking as she sets the table, the sound of Curt groaning in embarrassment and Owen making fun of him. And then - and then - the talking stops altogether.

And that’s her cue to slowly make her way back through the hall, treading as quietly as possible. Little do those boys know, they aren’t the only spies in this household.

She peers around the doorway, and watches silently for a moment.

Plan stage two: success.

Curtis spins his partner around the room, a little shorter than Owen but still managing to lead. It doesn't surprise her that Owen knows how to dance. After all, the Brits have all those fancy pride and prejudice balls, don't they? But she’s proud to see Curtis is clearly the better dancer of the two. Maybe that's a little unfair of her - she knows Owen injured himself quite badly at some point, and that must make things more difficult. But still. Her son is in his element here, maybe more so than when he ever danced with a girl.

Sometimes, Curtis reminds her so much of his father. Before Curtis was born, before Mr Mega started drinking more than he ought to and getting angrier than he ought to afterwards, they used to go out dancing on weekends. As they spun around the dancefloor, she'd look up at the man she would one day marry and feel as if they were the only two people on earth. And she can see that same look in Curtis's eyes now - like nothing in the world could possibly matter more than the person he's dancing with.

Than Owen.

It's really no wonder they haven’t noticed her in the doorway.

Smiling to herself, she slips back behind the doorframe and executes the final stage of her plan.

'Alright you lovebirds, dinner's ready!'

Immediately, there's panic in the living room. Incredibly efficient panic. In the seconds it takes her to round the door, the record has stopped, Owen is sitting on the sofa, and Curtis is leaning against the fireplace, nervously fixing his hair in a way that might look casual to anyone but his own mother.

She wags a finger at him.

'Don't think I didn't see what you were doing, Curtis Mega.'

Her son's eyes go wide. He moves away from the fireplace, raising his arms in defence.

'Mom, I can explain, I -'

‘Did you really think I wouldn’t figure this out? I'm an old woman, not an idiot. Your friend has been here for more than four months now, and a mother notices these things! I mean, really - '

But then she stops, because Curtis is staring at her now with genuine fear, and Owen isn’t looking at her at all, just sitting with his head in his hands. It occurs to her, too late, that the motives for her plan might have been misunderstood. That maybe she should have asked, instead of plotting all this just to surprise them.

But then, if she did ask, would Curtis have been too afraid to tell her the truth?

'Please, Mom,' he says, his voice urgent. 'I know you’re upset, but please, you can't kick him out. Cynthia's trying to arrange something, but that won't be for months yet, and this is the only place where Chi… Look, there are bad people looking for him. Here is the only place that’s safe. And I know we lied and hid this from you, and I know it’s wrong-'

She holds up a hand to shush him, then crosses the room and throws her arms around him, squeezing tight. She pulls away, smoothing down the sleeves of his sweater, and looks up at the boy who used to be small enough to hide behind her skirts.

'Oh, sweetheart, nothing is wrong, and no one is kicking anyone out of anywhere. What kind of mother do you think I am? Owen can stay as long as he needs to. I'm just sad that you two thought you had to keep this from me. But I understand. I do. I shouldn’t have scared you both. And I want you to know you don't have to hide anymore. Okay?'

Curtis looks as though he might cry, so she hugs him again. She thinks for a moment, then fixes him with a stern look.

'I do think you oughta apologise to Tatiana, though.’

There’s a pause as her son frowns down at her, confused. ‘To… Tati?’

‘Of course! Poor thing. She'll be so upset that you have to call off the wedding.'

Somewhere behind her, maybe a little manically, she hears Owen start to laugh.

[n7punk]

"the long way down" Fic Notes

TLWD is done now so I get to be a little insane about it. I’ve had meta about Outside of the War fics before, but this one… is certainly something Else, so I’ve enough to say to need the structure of a fic notes post.

Chapter 1:

⦁ Off the bat, the Mara thing: again, I’ve said this a couple times, but I don’t think her surviving in the portal is canon. I’m not sure what the timeline of the Heart going off and Mara moving Etheria was, much less what was up with the first version of the portal (something happened from what Razz said, but who knows it if it was the exact same thing), so it’s hard to say if she even would have gotten suspended like that in the first place. It was fun to write that fic, but I didn’t want to carry that continuity into this one. I wanted this idea to stand on its own and Mara being alive would have complicated the hell out of this. She would have known stuff, and either wanted or really not wanted to see the ruins of Eternia, and it just… would have been so many complications, especially if she didn’t go with them on that journey, because then they would have had to debate going back for her or not and…. Yeah it’s just Too Much.

⦁ The little italic preview (something I use so sparingly I think this might be my first time ever) at the beginning of the fic is obviously from the scene in chapter three, but cut down to size because again, sparing. It’s contextless here and half-context wouldn’t have served it.

⦁ It has come up a lot in my fics, but Adora being into cartography is something Aimee (her VA) mentioned at a con as like, a headcanon, and my brain immediately accepted that and went right that’s canon now lol. It just fits really well so it’s come up in my post-canon fics a lot as a hobby, but this is the first time it has been plot-important.

⦁ Catra getting jealous of paper is from a previous OotW fic, return from civility.

⦁ George and Lance literally have a 3D-projection star chart in their library that they show off in the season 2 finale, but the star charts Adora pulls out are very different from that because it’s a 2D inscription of flight paths between systems rather than a chart of constellations, so it wasn’t blatantly obvious what it was until they could start translating things with Adora’s help.

⦁ Let’s talk about the chapter art because you cannot imagine how much work that took! Like it’s stupid! I wanted essentially an “arrow” made from First Ones numbers pointing in the direction of Eternia. I went through a lot of rough drafts before I decided, for simplicity’s sake (my sanity) instead of it literally saying “One thousand four hundred and sixteen” it would say “1416” because god is that a lot to cram into a small space and stay readable, much less connected. I’m like 95% sure what I produced is correct by the guidelines of the language, but it’s a lot of lines to track, so if it’s wrong… I don’t want to hear it. Some details, though. The shadowy background compass has an “indent” in the center of it — that’s actually the letter E, standing for “Eternia,” in the First Ones’ script. Each of the numbers/words gets progressively smaller as it goes on, which isn’t in the rules, but in my opinion it makes it easier to read because you can intuit that you’re supposed to start at least one of the ends, and Clare approved, so I’m keeping it. (Yeah, if you know what post I’m talking about, I’ve been sitting on this fic idea that long. I wrote half the fic then and got distracted by shiny new things lmao). It was really hard picking colors for the image that would show up well on various site backgrounds, but in the end I decided it was impossible to accommodate for most skins, so I should focus on the two most-used ones instead and ended up with the blue and gray that show up decently on both the white and dark mode site skins. It’s not perfect on either, but it’s pretty good on both, and that’s the best I could ask for. I purposefully picked numbers that were one syllable so I didn’t have to deal with multiple syllable branches since making this image do what I want was already so much work lmao. I tried to figure out the words by myself first but I always double-check my First Ones script work with the translator on itch.io so thank you to whoever made that you have been a life-saver multiple times for me <3

⦁ I went back and forth on whether they’d be wives by the time of this one, and then I remembered it’s somewhere around two years post-canon and they’re lesbians. I think they probably got married shortly before leaving. I also stand by the idea of Glimbow getting engaged first but married way later (royal wedding nonsense, it came up in either "to make a home," or "her heart on her sleeve." Maybe both) and since they were getting married right after this trip, that would mean Catra and Adora are married.

⦁ Trolla is a planet in the MOTU. It’s where Orko is from… which means nothing to you if you haven’t watched the original He-man, but google an image of him, because somehow that exact character design pops up in so much shit. I’m pretty sure there’s a character like that in Kingdom Hearts, which means there’s also a character like that in Final Fantasy, but don’t quote me on that. I feel like he and Loo-Kee were pretty equivalent to me when I was a kid and Loo-Kee was at the end of every damn She-ra episode with his little “today’s moral” shtick.

Chapter 2:

⦁ Honestly, part of the reason Catra is wielding a staff in the cult scene is because I did all the research for the dolls and her accessory in that line was a staff. Which… okay sure, but she does use them in canon. Like twice. But it felt right here with the potential flashback stuff.

⦁ I made sure to include mention of the two moons originally shown around Eternia in my Children of the Crystal series. Just a little bit of consistency.

⦁ I thought about the… manufactured planet thing from Mass Effect Andromeda (listen, I haven’t played the game since it came out, I don’t really remember) while describing Eternia, and it got me thinking about how in sci-fi and stuff, structures like this are always in grayscale. They’re gray, or maybe white, but never like… yellow, and certainly not rainbow. The First Ones ruins we’ve seen have all been very colorful, so I thought a vibrant, rainbow planet, indicating life and art and culture, but still from this destructive society, would really be interesting.

⦁ The “ruins incident” is the impotence for a fic I’ve never written and probably never will but damn has that not stopped me thinking it through every few months. The timeline doesn’t even work out because that’s supposed to happen like five years after this but it’s mostly a reference for myself lmao.

⦁ I know Catra and Adora have “memes” personal to them dating back to their time in the Horde and still forming to this day, but I imagine Catra and Melog have their own jokes too that no one else has even the faintest idea about because it all happens in their heads.

⦁ Originally I explained it in the fic before I decided the Gatekeeper wouldn’t know it, but the reason there were only signs of evacuation deep inside was because part of Protocol Zero’s mandatory evacuation was evacuation tiers. It’s the highest threat level possible and that means everybody needs to leave and could clog the skies, making it impossible for anyone to really escape. There’s also bullshit prioritization of “well, these people deserve to get out more than others” so it's stratified to ensure some people (the most important) get out first. First in line was royalty and the highest ranks of the military (to coordinate rebuilding efforts once escaped), then the highest ranks of state-sponsored scientists and nobility, followed by the mid ranks of state-sponsors scientists and high rank state-sponsored artists, and then concurrently mid-level military, more scientists, and high-rank citizens. Finally, the rest of the artists and citizens (aka free-for-all tier).

⦁ The Citadel is a reference to Mass Effect.

⦁ A whole decade ago I saw a post on Tumblr claiming a “moment” used to be an actual measurement of time (roughly 90 seconds) that I never forgot and it turns out that was actually true (this was the era of Alexandria’s Genesis so you know… easily could have been bullshit I never bothered to google) so I threw it in in this fic as a fun fact about medieval sundial measurement.

⦁ Almost nothing works on the planet because it all ran on wireless power, and the transmission towers for that were completely destroyed by the Horde’s invasion. The Horde them pulverized everything else it could find, tracing down every last electrical signal or sign of life and snuffing it out. The only thing that survived were bugs that were hibernating underground or in the rare piece of plant life that wasn’t destroyed. Seeds in the earth also sprouted later, leaving those as the only survivors of the massacre. The Horde occupied Eternia for a while making sure nothing else would pop up, but eventually Prime was satisfied and got the fuck out of there, afraid of their integration of tech and magic and tired of losing clones to lingering mechanical boobytraps.

⦁ Okay the meta for Mara’s painting is that one of the quickest paths to state sponsorship was art depicting the planet. The Eternians really did view it as the ultimate art piece. Mara did something groundbreaking for her time and portrayed it as it originally was before all the terraforming. The establishment didn’t like that. Even worse, she used an ephemeral medium involving a mix of materials that would break down over time, and while it was good and above average, she was far from the most impressive artist that year alone. Mara really did think the transformation of Eternia was awe-inspiring at the time, but doubt set in after she was assigned to the brand-new (not even begun, really) colony on Etheria and started falling in love with its vibrant nature. Eternia still had plenty of it, but it was carefully cultivated through landscaping and terraforming. Ironically, it has become a lot closer to Etheria’s untamed state by the time of the fic, thanks to the lack of direct intervention and partially-damaged terraformers. (Side note: the terraforming system ran on its own network with a million safeties in place because, you know, if they ever shut off the path of the planet around the sun could permanently be altered from its irregular shape. It was Very Important they survive anything, and Horde Prime didn't try to destroy them while occupying it because he also needed it to not be flung into the sun)

⦁ Being a state-sponsored artist basically means you get a salary instead of living commission-to-commission, access to grant programs to create big pieces of art, essentially advertising and general public approval, and access to exclusive display locations, especially in architecture or high-traffic areas (think the mosaics they found). Mara wanted to try, so she applied to the symposium basically fresh out of high school with the plan that if it didn’t work out she would follow in her parent’s footsteps (military family) and join a colony exploration program. If she got approval or even just a grant she would go to art school, but, well, she didn’t. So she ended up training in military academy, bouncing around a few colonies, and then making her way to Commander rank and Etheria.

Chapter 3:

⦁ The “three workshops that they know about” thing is because Catra is sure Entrapta is hiding more questionable experiments from them in the walls. And she’s right.

⦁ The data crystal art says “Final log” on its front and “Distress” (as in, distress signal) in the background. I never really translate that in the fic but it was also going in the final chapter when the fic notes were about to be posted so I wasn’t too worried about it.

⦁ My idea for the crystal was that it would be really hard to find any logs of what happened because, well, everybody who would have made or kept those logs was dead and the Horde destroyed a lot of what they found. This was a transmission that was intercepted at long-range on this smaller mining planet and was basically a portent of their imminent doom to them, the Horde arriving shortly after they received it, leaving this as one of the few logs the Eternians managed to preserve.

⦁ I didn’t actually reference a data crystal from the show for my drawing, I just ran off my memory of what it looked like, so it’s probably a little off, but I thought that would actually fit with the “artistic representation” thing like the planet had. The downward slanting of the words (and especially the descending of the sounds in the word “Distress”) are a visual representation of the signal dropping off and the “long way down” metaphor.

⦁ I didn’t actually intend to have an illustration per chapter for this fic initially. It was just supposed to be the first one. I drew that all the way back in January/February when I first started working on this fic, but as I was describing Eternia, I was like… this would actually be fun to draw. And then it seemed weird to have a drawing for 2 out of 3 chapters, so I added the data crystal, and I like how that worked out since I got to do the “subtle” stuff (so subtle it needs to be explained lmao) with the distress signal in the background.

⦁ Yeah so what’s up with that metaphor, right? I don’t know. Like, okay, I kind of do, but basically that song latched onto this fic and then they fed off each other and I have NO idea why. Like, it fits, but it’s also like… why this. For the people who don’t listen to songs when fics link them (I’ll be honest, I rarely do, even though I discovered my favorite band in the world that way), “Long Way Down” is a song about going to hell. I think the specific story is supposed to reflect preachers and religious folk who espouse how everyone else is full of sin and going to hell, but really they’re just going to end up down there too (“I’ve been fucking around while you’ve been saving the world... from nothing”). It’s not a direct fit in that way, but in the hubris, where you think you’re giants but you’re actually going to fall like all the others? Yeah, seemed fitting for the First Ones.

⦁ Tellus is earth in Latin. Being that the originals are 80s cartoons, Earth is of course canon and there was a Christmas special set there. As I remember it, Earth was some #Isekai shit (okay not really but) where it was just the normal modern world and then He-man and She-ra showed up to take teens on adventures so Americans could teach them the true meaning of Christmas or something. I haven’t watched it since I was a very small child so I could be wrong. I got sidetracked. Yes Earth went kaput in this universe. Yes that had consequences. Yes he was saying “Commander Adam, signing off.”

⦁ Having just come off of CotC where I finally really went into my time travel headcanon… Yeah a lot of people knew this wasn’t going to end well. Honestly, when I initially planned this fic, I had this idea that Adora would touch the console and it would greet her as the lost princess — or even that she would find a recording from her lost twin brother — but either way she would find out that she probably came from the past. The problem was… that also doesn’t match my headcanon? (Refresher/If you didn’t read CotC: my headcanon is that since dimensional portals were cut off in Despondos, only time portals worked, so Light Hope pulled Adora through after spending a long time building one and trying to figure out where to open it to get her. This is why she popped out in the middle of a field: that’s just where she was physically located in the past.) My headcanon is that Adora was a regular child to settlers on Etheria when the Horde attacked and Light Hope eventually made the time portal and snatched her away before she could die. The system back home on Eternia probably wouldn’t recognize her as a random baby in the colonies, so it just didn’t track (especially the princess thing. That was something I thought about when I was first forming the headcanon in 2020, but it didn’t stick. Adora being “normal” is what made sense to me). I did consider having it be some thing where like, well maybe she was still born on Eternia or some major colony where she would be registered in the system, but honestly, that was all too definitive, and I liked the idea of it recognizing She-ra and them learning a little more about Mara.

⦁ Honestly, I don’t think Adora and Adam are even twins in this verse for me. I think cousins makes the most sense here (especially since he was like 20-30 in the recording and Adora would have been Very Small). If he were her sibling, that would make him some random twin she doesn’t know and never learns much about, but this way he’s still important to present Adora because his recording is the one that really made her accept what happened, and isn’t that the kind of thing that older siblings are supposed to do? Take care of their siblings, loving them and telling them the hard truths, through losing their family/home/way of life, etc? Idk, this somehow felt closer to the spirit of the OG canon than giving her a random twin that she didn’t know much about. Her finding a living twin who lives somewhere out in space didn’t feel like the spirit of this SPOP either (especially since they were expressly forbidden to even consider Adam/He-man), so we ended up here.

⦁ This is gonna sound weird but — canonically — I don’t think Adora has parents unless they make a movie. Like the time travel theory still makes sense to me, and if they ever made a movie I feel like finding her parents out in space would be an obvious plot point to get a bit more of a “happy ending” and tie up loose ends from the show, but like… I don’t think the show — in isolation — intends for them to be out there, and I think her not finding them is more tragic if they’re alive somewhere than the time travel thing where they’ve been gone for a thousand years so there’s no chance of recovery.

⦁ After some discussion with a Science Person I determined that it was possible for the DNA changes to be passed down in people who constantly produce sperm, and for people with eggs too if the process also affected the eggs inside of them (since they're only produced once). Also, magic bullshit is floating around helps and all of this is all theoretical anyway so I’m doing what I want lol.

⦁ Edit: Somehow I forgot to talk about this but. The First Ones. Yeah so, in this... I mean they are basically human. Their terraforming (and general tech) processes changed them into something distinguishable, but not all that different. After a thousand years, any First Ones that did survive the original genocide would have to have intermixed with humans to survive. The changes from terraforming would long be diluted and mutated away until humans really are all that's left. Catra's speculation about resettling an old colony planet is the best chance for them still existing, and like she said, they wouldn't even know that they're secretly picking up the genetic signatures of Eternians. I've never been sure if the First Ones are actually different from humans, or just a nationality, or perhaps an ancestor/divergent race from them (I think that question is purposefully left open-ended), so I did... this, which is kind of a combination. IDK, I just thought it was a cool possibility that would explain their humanness while still making them distinct in a (fairly) plausible way. The materials our modern world is made of are causing changes to our bodies (from lettuce insecticide in our blood to earlier hormone development) so something as extensive as terraforming would produce changes that could diverge them enough to be detectable. This leads to things like Adora's puberty being a bit different (unnaturally fast) and her alcohol tolerance being wild (I mean, that's something that varies between people already without a genetic splinter) but leaves her still - essentially - human. First Ones and humans started from the same place but splintered eventually. This isn't like some other things where it's my firm headcanon, but I do think it's a cool idea, so it was fun to do here and it both acts as another hint to the time travel possibility while also explaining how Adora could have parents and there could be "surviving First Ones" in the present. It wasn't part of the original plan for the fic, but I'm really glad it developed as I wrote because it's really interesting to me.

⦁ Catra is right about the cycle wearing on Adora, but it’s a little more than that: Adora could only convince herself to leave Eternia by turning her attention back to their mission, and the moment there was a real pause in it she realized that she didn’t want to keep doing this after all.

⦁ Adora will have questions for a while, and wonder about it occasionally, but she has kind of accepted that what really makes her happy is Etheria. She wishes she knew the answers, but not enough to abandon where she's actually happy and search for them. She doesn't want to fly for a year to some location in far space for answers, she wants her true family, and that's Catra and her friends.

Meta:

Compass art (1416)

Eternia art

Data crystal art

Upcoming:

Uhhhh I really don’t know right now? Could be a lot of things. My brain can’t settle on anything long enough to choose right now so it’ll probably be a week before I’m even sure enough to tell y’all. Check back here I guess lol

[riveriafalll]

Travel buddies tag game!!

thank you to the ever wonderful @sableglass for the tag, love you man <3

Rules: Imagine your characters are going on a trip for vacation. Which ones are most likely to fit the roles below?

Lets do some Inkpot Gods, shall we? This lot would never go on holiday together for a multitude of reasons (not least at least three want to kill each other, and one of them is technically dead, but its as far as I've gotten in canon-), but lets pretend!

1. Doing mad research for an affordable place for everyone to stay.

Absolutely Sam, he's got fourteen books open and as many tabs as his computer can hold before it sets on fire, he has everything planned down to the tee, despite the fact that Dean is stealing the money he's using, and Emmy is stacked from both her job and her... less legal activies.

2. Hoping to try all the new food they can.

Dean, 100%. He's gonna be the one who takes the entire plate of testers on food stalls, and can be found with some kind of food the entire time. Emmy throws something at him every time he talks with his mouth full. He gets a lot of things thrown at him.

3. Wants to stay inside and sleep through the whole vacation.

None of them, actually. (Bela probably wants to sleep by the pool and work on her tan, Emmy wants to stay for the same reason and nothing to do with Bela in a bikini-)

4. Believes no vacation is complete without certain activities (going to the beach, swimming, skiing, sightseeing, hiking, etc)

Once again Sam - he has a list of 'normal family things' that you're supposed to do on holidays, and drags everyone around to a bunch of different actives every day. Emmy loves them, Archie thinks its hilarious, Dean and Bela hate it, and then hate that they've agreed on something.

5. Is annoyed that certain people are in the same travel group as them.

Oh- yeah this is the question I was waiting for. Sam and Dean don't want Bela there (for obvious canon reasons), but Dean is the one who complains about her vocally and at length.

6. Buying souvenirs for everyone back home.

Archie - he buys every knick-knack he can get his hands on; about a million candles, loads of postcards, every piece of jewellery he can get his hands on. In his defense, Emmy is 95% of his impulse control, and she's off trying to stop Dean getting beaten up because of the amount of tasters he keeps eating-

7. Is about to turn this trip into a business trip.

Have you heard about this show called supernatural- All jokes aside, knowing them, the hotel is haunted, there's at least three demons, and someone's gonna temporarily die.

Tag list time! (lemme know +/-)

@hyperfixation-tangentopia @pippinoftheshire @cherrybombfangirlwrites

@once-and-future-fandoms @glasshouses-and-stones @deanscherrypie420

@agirlandherquill @lillybaaaka @late-to-the-fandom @toodumbforusernames

@damageinkorporated @aquadestinyswriting @druidx

@iIlovevewritingfanfic @supercimi @creative-author

@27paperlilies @avocado-frog @abigailmartinwriting

[justagalwhowrites]

Bestie! I finally looked up the meaning of Halcyon. I knew there was a reason for picking that word, but it still surprised me seeing how it couldn't suit the story better. The new chapter was a treat! Why does seeing him or reading about him being a dad turn him ten times hotter? And add a sassy Sarah, and the picture couldn't be more perfect, lol! And you kept her smart as a whip, as it should! That comment about his dad's friends staying in his room was hilarious. Womanizer Joel is in the sights! Why do I feel like Goldie and Sarah will team up to keep Joel on his toes? I'm curious about Sarah. Are you picturing her with the game looks or the series?

I love how you're picturing the dynamic between Joel and Goldie. There's this mix of easily getting into their old-times routine with the novelty of who they are now after all these years, which is something else. I'm so excited to get to the part where they talk properly about what happened because that thought of Joel about how she's the reason he has a daughter really got my attention. And talking about her book. I have a hunch that Joel is in there. Am I too wrong? Thanks for the lovley update!♥️♥️♥️

AHHH Hi Bestie!!!

OK like not to toot my own horn - tbh I'm SHIT at naming things like 95% of the time - but when I was like "wait... Halcyon though" I was SO PROUD LMFAO so I'm so glad that people are appreciating it!!

And Dad!Joel? Whole other level of hot. Like watching this man dote on his daughter? Hottest shit on Earth. I can't with him, I truly cannot. He and Sarah are two peas in a pod, they are each other's person, truly. I hope Sarah comes off as a genuine kid, I haven't spent much time with kids in that age range recently so I did a smidge of research and have otherwise been winging it. But she's DEFINITELY smart! Joel knows it, too lol he's both insanely proud of it and insanely concerned about it. Like damn, he's going to have a hard time parenting someone as smart as she is as she gets into her teens! I'm picturing show Sarah and show Joel, that's just who I'm most familiar with because I've never played the games (though I've watched play throughs and looked at concept art and read things they ditched for them and and and... the hyperfixation since the show came out has been hyperfixating.)

AHHH YAY! I love Joel and Goldie. Their dynamic is so sweet to me, they are just these two souls who came of age together and know ad love each other so deeply. They're so interwoven into the fabric of each others' lives in ways neither of them fully understands yet. But I'll neither confirm nor deny anything about Goldie's book quite yet, at least on here! But feel free to DM :D

Thank you for reading, Bestie!! I so love getting your notes <3

Love you!!

[ace-oreos]

Dar Reads Lady Knight: Ch. 4

I decided to test out a new system of reading the chapter in full and then making this post, which worked out really well until I forgot to go back and make the post. So! Here it is at last.

I always love the title of this chapter: Kel Takes Command. She finally gets to put the skills she learned into action.

aalkdfljasf Kel's flag! I feel like this is such an underrated emotional moment. I know it makes me Feel Things when the camp posts her personal flag since she is now the commanding officer.

Lots of description of the camp's layout and the surrounding terrain. Props to Tammy for including this and knowing which features are important from a defense standpoint.

"Wyldon had given her no advice about how to actually take command, and this man seemed determined to dump everything in her lap at once" (pg. 81). Poor Kel, lol.

Another little nod to her role as the protector of the small when she's talking to the captain. "His manner itched her, though. He didn't talk about others as if they were human, only animals to be driven" (pg. 84).

I love how Kel has grown to the point where she doesn't bother listening to what the men say about her. She knows they'll either respect her or they won't, so she's not going to waste her energy trying to convince them she deserves it.

Dom's back! At least for a little bit.

I love her camaraderie with Wolset and Fulcher, too.

"It was me that thought of it,' Corporal Wolset said. 'And you what nearly ruined the embroidering,' retorted Corporal Fulcher" (pg. 89). I forgot about this little exchange about Kel's flag. It made me laugh.

I love when she addresses her men for the first time. She's so nervous but she's going to give it her best shot or die trying.

Her feelings re: the convict soldiers are really telling about who she is. Her predecessor treated them like dirt and gave them only the minimum they need to survive, but Kel intends to make sure they're fed and clothed properly. Bless her.

Her conversation with Gil Lofts about the raid on the bandits when she was a page is another favorite moment of mine. The fact that one of the convict soldiers can vouch for her does wonders for her reputation with the others who don't know her.

"I'm not sure that being known for gutting a man is exactly a recommendation for a commander" (pg. 95). I love her humor and how she chooses to look at things.

"You all know why we're here. You know the enemy. He will be on us soon. When he comes, we will fight not for some glorious cause, but to survive. The gods have given us time to prepare, and we must take advantage of every moment of it" (pg. 95). I know I already talked about this quote in my first post, but it's one of my top five Kel quotes. It's just her. Pragmatic, straightforward, doesn't patronize the people she's addressing. Brilliant.

Haven! The mudpit now has a name! Once again, naming it that is another prime example of a Kel Moment.

Chapter five post coming soon! I've already read through it, so ideally I'll get the post squared away shortly.

[redbudweiser]

Swan song & Honeydew

|| Carmen and Lip didn't know each other, but soon they bond through matching wounds. ||

Warnings: Doomed relationship grief, mourning, broken and sad shit in general, go read on my ao3.

•

Chapter 1.

It was a cold day in Chicago. It had been a week since Carmen hadn't even touched on the subject of his breakup.

Obviously.

Syd and Richie were a little worried and mostly tired. It's not like Carmen knew how to deal in the best way with things that weren't under his control. He was more stressed, but somehow he always came back from this dark place in his head and went back to the great feat that is his great restaurant. And with ''somehow he always came back'', a big culprit, like 95% of this blame or even more for sure is from Sydney, who could not share or lose the attention of his boss, again. Not now.

Richie never tired of throwing judgmental looks at the boss, and of being completely fed up when he tried to touch on the subject Claire, Carmen played deaf and mute.

He was doing a thousand things at the same time, and when he was alone, he thought. And he couldn't stop thinking, not even for a second. Thinking a lot is very useful in the kitchen, and Carmen's nature, but over time, after so many things, after the boss was forced to face himself, face everything he had no control over, he not only thought too much, he thought about everything, everyone, every hour the day and night without a break, it was torturous, and inevitable.

Meanwhile in the other part of Chicago,

Philip Gallagher. Sober, dealing with fights with his wife about whether or not it was time to have a child. They were fighting a lot and things were getting too dangerous. Tami wanted to leave that place, leave the south side, continue this part of her life somewhere where she could be freer, where they both had more opportunities. She wanted more. But Lip not. He was discovering things about himself, he had a community in that part of the city, finally after a long time of everyone telling him that he should get out of there, that he did not belong to that part of the city, and after all, he is rethinking again, if he really belongs to this city. Maybe he should really leave for good... But it was the first time after many years that he felt peace, that he was in a crescent where he only improved with himself.

The only thing that arrested him in that place was himself.

[X]

Carmy is smoking outside the restaurant, Richie arrives a few seconds after him.

– You look like a powder keg. You can't keep exploding with everyone because your ex doesn't talk to you, and because you're too much of a pussy to talk to her. - Richie leans against the wall to light his cigarette, while carmy take a drag of his.

– Richie, I swear to God–

– I'm not exaggerating and you know. Poor Sydney has to hold the ends alone in that kitchen while you're whining around. - Carmy couldn't afford to look exhausted, but he could afford to freak out all the time, at least around the chaos he worked the way he should, in his own opinion. So he just transparently being pissed off, while he listened to Richie speak without even looking him in the eye. And Richie, as much as he knew when Carm loved to self-sabotage and worry about him when his self-destructive mode was higher than usual, getting him pissed off on purpose was still fun. And in his head, it was much better to leave Carmy angry than to leave him alone drowning in his own sadness. - But you know, you are already old enough to make all your decisions... Even if they're stupid decisions. Or maybe I'm tripping, right cousin? - Richie gives a strong drag in the cigarette before throwing it on the floor and stepping on it to put it out. He goes back to the kitchen smiling knowing that he probably left Carmy even more stressed.

Carmy grumbles ''fucking asshole'' throwing the cigarette in his direction, even though Richie has already entered the kitchen.

The boss takes a deep breath a few times trying to calm down before entering the kitchen as well.

He swallows all his pride, and desire to freak out for the fourth time on the day on the side, and enters the kitchen.

[X]

- Listen, you're not giving me the opportunity to explain why I don't want to leave. - Lip and Tami are in the room discussing once again. Tami still hopes to convince Lip to leave that place.

– Yes, I gave Lip, I listened to everything you had to say. And I've already given you solutions, and if we're going to have a child, which also I don't if I want,I don't want him to grow up here. I want him to have more than we both had in life.

The evil of the two was short patience, especially Lip's, the two were stubborn and would insist on their personal ideas and would not give them up so easily, even if it was for each other.

They start talking at the same time, arguing, the two talking without listening to each other.

''Look, you don't understand, yes I understood, no no, this place, it's part of who I am, you're part of who I am that's why I want you to come with me, Tami for the love of God listen to me, Lip I've heard''

– Okay okay, Lip stop, stop. That's not working. We're fighting too much, and we're not listening to each other. - And it was true. She wanted it to work, and Lip needed them both to work. - Listen. What if, I go–

She was nervous about this possibility she thought about because she knew that Lip would not accept it very well.

– No. Don't do that, Tami. - He knows where this conversation is going, and he doesn't like it at all. His voice was tired and a little exasperated.

The sunlight coming through the window makes his blue eyes look colder more than they already are, he already feels that he is losing her. His heart was beating hard, and he felt warmth in his hands and nape. It was fear, anxiety and your patience going down the drain.

- Lip listening to me. - She continues, looking at him and knowing how he's already breaking inside. - I'm going to Milwaukee, I'm going to spend 1, maybe 2 months there. Let's not take a break, it's not a breakup. It's a test.

– And do you really believe that? Really? It's the first time in my life that I have a normal life in this fucking house. At my house. This thing about being away for two months won't happen. It really won't.

- So think of something better Lip. - She gets up, taking the keys and her bag.

– What's that? Where are you going?

– If I stay here, we'll fight even more. I'm going to a friend's house, and tomorrow is a new day where we will have more patience to have a conversation.

– C'mon that's not fucking serious.

– I'm sorry but it is. I have a damage control to do.- She approaches Lip, the sunlight is rested on their faces. - I'm not going to give up so easily from both of us. But this, is fucking killing me, Gallagher.

[X]

– She was here... Hm.

- Yeah. - Sugar and Carmy were talking, it was the first time she touched on the subject ''Donna''.

– And... Did you two talked? - Carmy felt his anxiety growing and anchored in his chest every time he said something new about his mother.

– Why?

– I don't know, you're pregnant and she's our mother, and she didn't knew. I-I don't know... Did you talked to her?

– I did. It was horrible.

– What a surprise. What did she say?

– It was... Well, weird. It wasn't what I expected. It doesn't matter, she wasn't here before and she won't come now just because of that.

– You saying that? I thought you still had hope in her.

- Me too. - They share a look of understanding, even though they want to talk more and know they wouldn't.

- Hey Jeff. We need your help. - Tina interrupts them for a second.

- Go. - Nat says looking at his brother. And he goes.

[X]

It was only one 13:00, Tami had left, and Lip was alone in that house that has never been as quiet as it is now.

The hours went by and Lip wondered if it would be that bad to leave Chicago. If he was being too sentimental. He had a thousand thoughts in his mind and needed some break.

Drinking was no longer an option. As much as the will and the impulses to do were still there.

No smoking either, he already smoked at least 4 or 5 cigarettes a day, it was bad enough.

He was looking for another passing obsession in which he hoped to stay longer than the others and help in his harm reduction. So far, the one that lasted the longest was the reading, he had several and several and several books scattered in his house, in the cabin, under the bed, where the shampoo and conditioner was near the bathtub, inside the cup cabinet.

He mirrored all his obsessions with the house, he had a little of his mind everywhere.

He had already read most of the books he owns, and there were some in which he hadn't even touched yet, but he needed more, so he decided to go out to buy more books.

In the Chicago public library, Lincoln Belmont branch, there were not many people, he was in the psychological terror session. An elderly man was staring at him and he noticed, but not the attention.

– From the hospital they keep him strictly isolated, confined and with as little human contact as possible. Those who have already tried to cure the patient, or even approach him ended up indulging in madness... or suicide... Wow. We are the same. - Lip reads the synopsis of the book to himself.

- I'm so sorry, Carm. - A old man says stopping in front of Lip.

– Ahm... Excuse me? - Before answering him, Lip stares at him for a few seconds blinking his eyes deciding if that old man was talking to him or someone else nearby. But there was no one but them in that corridor.

– Look, I know that Michael and I weren't exactly best friends, and I never came back to say... Nothing. But, I... I'm sorry.

Lip had a memory lapse where he saw Frank remembering memories that even he didn't remember properly. Maybe that man was like his father, maybe he's crazy, maybe he's in pain, and what kind of man would Philip Gallagher be if he didn't give a little comfort to this stranger who actually didn't seem to have gone crazy, or who was a drunk, or who had dementia, but only in mourning?

– I appreciate it. Really. - He said with a slightly worried tone, hoping that that stranger would be better than whatever he were suffering for.

The old man, who had a book in his hand, releases it in any shelf and nods his head, looking sad, and turns his back leaving the bookstore.

– But these tools have also transformed how we consume, and how we think about, our food. In Consider the Fork. Unexpected.

Lip leaves the book there and buys the first one he read the synopsis. Leaving there, he lights a cigarette and walks back home.

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

I am sorry this is going to be long but I am definitely interested in discussing Ada's trauma in 6! 6 is actually one of my favorite games in the series simply because of how expressive Ada is (I mean she's always expressive but here its a lot more obvious).

The amount of trauma that had to build up for Ada to get to a point where her emotions are obvious I feel so bad for her. Most of the RE characters have had shit lives but we still don't know what Ada's backstory is (at least, her canon backstory) and I'm 95% certain its not a happy one. So we have whatever happened in her childhood, then whatever got her involved in the espionage world, then we move on to her time working for Wesker and around that same time she did some things for Simmons too. And the rest of what happened in 2-Damnation.

Then we get to 6 and its an absolute shit-show for her. Every time she's on screen she's discovering some new information about these missions that she was assigned but didn't go on and then the whole Project Ada thing and her connecting the dots and figuring out she's got an evil twin running around. Not only that but she knows that Simmons is the reason that "Ada" exists. Oh and Chris Redfield is trying to arrest her too. In the scene with the tape and then the calls with Carla and Simmons, Ada drops her smile whenever she isn't talking (even almost frowning). So we can see that she's putting on a mask even just this far it's really bothering her.

The scene where Ada finds the research for Project Ada is fascinating to watch her expressions. Her face changes from shock and disgust to something like fear or sadness throughout that scene. And then Ada watches Carla fall and "die" - basically watches herself die. Again her facial expressions are fairly prominent. There's shock for the most part, but then for a split second she falls back into sadness. This continues into the next scene where she's talking to "dead" Carla and we see that Ada also sees Carla as a victim of Simmons, but doesn't excuse what Carla did afterwards.

When Carla transforms, I think that is probably one of the most traumatizing things Ada sees because again, she's watching this happen to basically herself and that's very different from watching it happen to other people who look nothing like you. i want to know what's going through her head. Is she thinking that this could've been her if she hadn't cut contact with Simmons?

The ending scene is probably one of my favorites, aside from Ada herself the music is just fantastic and really helps express Ada's emotions in that moment. At first she's wary/cautious of the cocoon thing but then we get this little head shake and her expression is anger. Eyebrows downward, eyes narrow, lips curled back, teeth clenched. She goes through nearly three clips of ammunition destroying that lab. She has no composure until she gets that phone call and I believe this is the only time we've seen Ada completely lose her composure.

And yeah the lab is dealt with, she's destroyed both Carla's and Simmons' legacies but I don't think she feels any sort of satisfaction in doing that. Catharsis sure, but I think she was at a point where something was going to happen. There was just too much built up. I highly doubt Ada has completely worked through the trauma she went through in 6. If we ever see her post-6 I would like to see how she's dealt with this, if at all, and I hope it would be in a healthier way than the men seem to take to deal with their trauma. Or if she's just thrown herself into her work because work is a safe, normal thing for her and would keep her mind off of China.

Yes! I love that we got Ada's campaign in re6! Separate ways was fun as well, but that was mostly just her simping over Leon lmao. But re6 really allows her to speak her mind and for us as an audience understand her better! I completely agree that you need to play her campaign to fully understand re6, but to really get into her mindset better.

From childhood, in lore books and stuff. It's speculated that Ada was forced into crime as young as 10, and she needed to do it to survive. She has NOT had it easy. People like to forget that she's a VICTIM. That she didn't ask for any of this. We see her handle all of her struggles with a smile on her face, but I really think that's the facade of Ada Wong that she uses to manage her own feelings and traumas.

That the idea of Ada Wong isn't even her. YES every time her smile drops, I DIE A LITTLE. How much PAIN is she in??? She even feels so bad for Carla, that she was also a victim to Simmons. That even Carla, who committed SO MANY CRIMES UNDER THE GUISE OF ADA. She (Ada) can still find it in her to see that Carla didn't deserve what happened to her. Ada is one of the strongest characters in re. And we just don't get to see it enough.

I really want some closure on whether or not the BSAA thinks that Ada is dead or not. They declared it, but then Leon's just like :D she's alive! Like not even that surprised. I just want to know if they ever figured it all out.

[cryptic-underground]

Red Son - Sitcom AU

Finally able to think about someone other than Sun Wukong or Macaque in this au, props to me!

Humor aside- I've been thinking of nothing but Red boyo so y'all get spur of the moment things about him for sitcom, though I can't promise it to be angst free- enjoy!

Is either high honors or principal's list in terms of grades (somewhere between 85-95 is his average)

He is so stressed all the time, my guy needs to chill

Gives himself his more homework in hopes of becoming better

Puts most of his self worth into getting good grades similarly to how he does in the show with schemes

Rich boy/girl, not necessarily the spoiled kind but definitely was a little entitled at the beginning

Has a curfew

Parents are the type to blow up her phone when their even just a few minutes late to coming home

Mk and Mei add him instantly to a group chat when they first meet

Says it's to communicate about their project without needing to be in first but it's mostly used to send memes, much to Reds dismay

They grow to find comfort in the group chat when she's having trouble with his parents

Gender fluid because ofc

Has a lot of books comprising of many different genres

Textbooks through the years, books they got to use for projects, a lot of ones on mechanics and engineering as well as just general science stuff

Is a big science nerd!

Mostly a big fan of chemistry and physics

Swk is still his uncle like in jttw but the ties between the bull family and wukong are complicated (talk about it in another post since it isn't red related)

Pif and dbk are still not good parents in this(at least until what would s3 of the au), I don't want to completely rewrite them since I want this to be close to lmk canon

I'm just going to have them be a tiny bit different

They are very strict to red and belittles him when he gets even a bit lower grade than expected

Red is very uncomfortable being touched by them like in the show

Mac is also kinda his uncle but they only briefly met when she was really young

Sucks at most art things, when they have to do an art project they tend to do something with mechanics

After she started hanging out with Mei and mk more frequently, and not just for school projects, he would try to find ways to show they were worthy of being their friend

Doing a lot of favors whenever they needed help with something, asking if they needed something fixed, using his allowance to buy them gifts or food as a way to convince em to let her stay

Is a stickler for rules and regulations

Will call someone out if they cheat at monopoly, will have them restart an entire game because someone broke a rule

Comes over to mks house whenever they hang out, the trio rarely go to red's or meis house

Mei and him confide in each other about their strict parents

Is one of the few people in the group to have a fashion sense

They got the pretty genes your honor

Gets acne breakouts from being overly stressed

Has multiple pairs of glasses in her bag incase they forget their usual pair at home

Is the type to go to sleep at seven or eight at night and wake up at like five in the morning

Is solely a tea drinker and refuses to drink coffee

Believed for the longest time that coffee stunts your growth

Has a full skin care routine

Puts hot sauce or something spicy in pretty much everything

Hates most cold foods

Literally heater

High pain tolerance

Very picky and tends to stays to a lot of their safe foods

Has MK and Mei's favorite and least favorite food memorized

Has said foods ready at her house when they're planned to visit

Will comment on how childish a show is, watches ironically to make fun of it in more detail, them finds them self hyper fixating on the show

The one that brings the shopping list to the store

Once mac gets redeemed, is thankful to have another person with a brain cell to converse with

Tutors mk sometimes

Struggles with basic money math but is able to do complex calculus in her sleep

Has given their two friends a scare because they went on a book reading binge and was too hyperfocused to answer their texts for a week

Phone background and home screen remains whatever the default was when he got the phone, doesn't see the importance of changing it

Until Mei stole their phone and changed everything, it was something he liked but still

Has one thing from every hyper fixation she's had in a box in their closet

Even though he's a heater, puts on thicker/warmer clothes at the briefest sign of fall or winter

She needs to set an example for the rest

Sandy's pets love them in the colder months, especially the cats

Owns both the girl's and boy's uniform for his school

Somehow extremely hated and liked at the school

Is far sighted(can see things that are far away) and has astigmatism

Can only sleep when their body is a plank and doesn't move in her sleep

Can cook since he gets left alone at home quite a bit

Is oldest out of the trio

Tw for the next few///

Hits self when frustrated or really angry

Picks at skin until they bleed

Has forgotten to eat or sleep for days because they were trying to perfect a project

[clotpolesonly]

death cw:

think we’re about to lose grandma. she’s got pneumonia yet again and the doctors are sounding very pessimistic this time. it’s been a long time coming and it’s gotta happen sometime, but it’s surprising for it to be this when she’s made it through decades of cancer, two broken hips, and two spinal fractures 😅 we were hoping she would make it to 95 (another month and a half) but that’s very unlikely. doctors talking about “making her comfortable” and whatnot, so we’re gonna start calling the out of town family and whatnot.

i’m reminded again of how little i grieve compared to others. maybe it’ll be different things time (though i don’t see why it would be, except that i’m a far more depressed and anxious person than i was 5 years ago), but i never cried or got very emotional over dad’s death. i still haven’t. it’s just kind of a thing, really, that he was there and now he’s not. grandma’s gonna just not be there anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ i barely see her once every few weeks anyway, it’s not like it has a big impact on my life, and i’ve just never understood that whole “there’s an aching hole in the world where this person used to be and knowing they’re not out there somewhere devastates me continually on a conceptual level” thing that most people seem to have going on, at least according to popular media.

mom’s gonna be devastated, obviously, and i can’t blame her. it might be something of a relief though? it was a little bit of a relief when dad died, for all of us, cuz he had cancer and was in a lot of pain. grandma’s just really fucking old and she’s declined so much mentally that it’s distressing for her and it’s really distressing for us, especially mom, to witness and handle. on the phone mom said “we were hoping she’d make it to 95. but i’m not sure she wanted to make it that far.” grandma was a teacher and an artist. for her to have declined this far mentally is unfortunate. so it’s probably okay. i bet mom wishes that she was still a religious believer, so she could comfort herself with the idea of grandma being reunited with her husband and son, but alas.

anyway. just rambling thoughts. grandma’s had a long and productive life. it’s gonna be really awkward when everybody else is more upset than i am, and i wish i was more inclined toward grief than i am cuz i kinda feel bad that i don’t feel bad, but oh well. that’s not really something i can control.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I love wifey very dearly, and while this is not indicative of general unhappiness in our relationship it is one of those "I really wish this could be changed but realistically I just live like this" things that pop up in a decade long marriage.

Wifey cannot for the fucking life of her demonstrate investment in anything she is not interested in. No matter how many times I have sat down with her and outlined very small things she can do to show investiment in my interests that she does not share (distinctly NOT asking her to also "Be Into" them) she is incapable of making those efforts.

This would probably be less hurtful if it weren't for the fact that I absolutely DO have to go through all those same demonstrations of investment in HER interests that I don't share, or her RSD goes off like a cannon and she sinks into a major depressive episode.

And even that would probably be less hurtful if she at least recognized that's what I was doing. But when I have talked with her about it, it has become clear that she genuinely believes anytime I do that it is only because it is a shared interest. And if I correct that misunderstanding she will simply refuse to discuss that interest with me ever again and slowly sink into a major depressive episode about how she's not allowed to talk about things she cares about.

This is......a deeply unpleasant cycle for me to be caught it because it is increasingly clear that wifey and I have EXTRAORDINARILY FEW shared interests. So a solid 95% of our conversations now are just her going on about her interests and me using a shitload of masking resources to engage with her on them even though A) I do not care about them at all, B) I often actively get stressed out talking about them, C) I struggle deeply to actually remember anything about the topics conversation to conversation so I can't even learn to get into them superficially, and D) I know full well she will never ever return the favor.

Wifey is the only person I see most days that isn't a client. I don't really have a social circle locally anymore. Social media's nice and all, but I'll be honest, a lot of people treat social media as an opportunity to passively absorb, not to engage and that very much does not help me with this issue of wanting to be able to talk WITH people about things that interest me.

Last night's fast fashion conversation was so nice and I was almost starting to feel better than I have been for a long time, and then I mentioned it to wifey hoping that maybe she would take the opportunity to practice some of the skills we talked about the last time this conversation came up, but instead she did the one thing (literally, it was the ONLY THING that I specified when asked) that I asked her not to do when I bring up my interests and it nearly destroyed me.

She made a comment later that I didn't seem to be doing well and I just.....didn't know how to respond to that. It has been less than a week since I explicitly asked for my one thing to change to be that she not just go silent and then immediately change the subject as soon as I pause or breathe when I talk about a subject that she knows I care about but that she is not as invested in. I told her she doesn't have to know anything about it, she doesn't have to contribute substantively to the conversation, it can just be things like asking questions or commenting in ways that demonstrate she's listening or even making connections to things she does know/care about, whatever she wants! Just NOT dead silence followed by an immediate and dramatic subject change.

It's just....she puts so much work and effort into "caring" for me, but almost all of it is wasted because it's things I have explicitly asked her not to do or told her that she should put back on my shoulders, but she WON'T and then when I ~do~ ask for specific things that would be meaningful to me, she gets frustrated and overwhelmed and complains about how much she's doing already and how I don't match her effort and like.

A little self-awareness please.

What I have a hard time understanding is why this is such a PATTERN for me. Basically all of my partners have been like this. They're able to talk passionately and in an engaged way about things that interest them, but absolutely do not demonstrate a willingness to be invested in their partners' interests. And yet I'm told over and over and over again (often by those very partners!!!) that demonstrating investment in your partner's interests is an important part of a relationship.

So why won't people do it for me?

This matters less in our lives when I have other ways to engage in my interests and hobbies. But right now I'm extremely limited so it's hurting more than usual. I don't know how to bring this up again when we literally talked about it 5 days ago.