#when they wanted to learn how to set up Twitter and I cautioned against only using social media

[pekasairroc]

Screeching alone in the pits of iPage dot com while fending off the fall of small websites with my meager HTML knowledge

I will be the webmaster at the nitpicky whims of this professional organization chapter if only to prevent all the information from being posted only on Instagram that requires an account to access

[losthomunculus]

Online Safety Relevant to the Current State of the Internet

On twitter I made a tweet about how online safety lessons in school can be very out of touch but that the advice of people who are familiar with the current internet shouldn't be disregarded. So here's my informal collection of online safety tips

Sources: unrestricted internet access since elementary school (not recommended), being a formerly involuntarily home bound person for several years that amassed way too much online experience

This could possibly hold upsetting reminders to people who had bad experiences online including mentions of grooming and emotional manipulation so please proceed with caution!

Information Sharing

Make an online pseudonym for public profiles and websites.

Don’t feel like you have to list everything about you for the world to see.

Sometimes it’s not a question of “can this information be used to locate and identify me irl?”, but simply “do I want this information publicly available and linked to my online persona?”

Unlike offline, being online leaves a constant trail of who you were accessible at all times. People are constantly growing and changing. Try to limit the information you share so you can ditch that trail and start over if need be.

Sharing information with people you make friends with and trust is a judgement call on your part, but always be on the safe side and be protective of your information.

Start as cautious as possible with online safety. Any risks or judgement calls can come later when you are 1. aware of the risks, 2. ready to address them if they occur, and 3. have gathered plenty of information instead of doing something blindly and hoping for the best.

Do not share your triggers publicly, they can very easily be used against you. Instead use websites with a large amount of filtering options to curate your online experience. If you are going to share them, only do it privately with people you trust.

Importance of Boundaries

It doesn’t matter how mature you are, don’t enter age limited spaces you don’t qualify for. It’s disrespectful to the boundaries of the people who made that space. Boundaries like this exist for the comfort of both sides involved.

Just because you can “handle it” doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Desensitization is not something to brag about.

Venting or making r18 posts as a minor on a public account is VERY dangerous. Intense emotional vulnerability is something manipulators will look for as a way to get to you. The same with sexual jokes to develop your comfort talking about those topics casually and eventually escalating the situation. If you are going to talk about such things please keep that in private conversations with people you trust in your age group.

Note the difference between public and private online space. Tweeting something on a public account is not the same as having a conversation in the cafeteria with your friends.

If an adult tries talking to you about r18, run the other way. Doesn’t matter how cool you are, it says something weird about THEM if they’re willing to talk to a minor about that stuff.

If someone( like 3+ years, honestly depends on how old you are) older than you wouldn't be comfortable saying what they're saying to you in front of other people (like a teacher or guardian), that's suspicious as hell. Run in the other direction.

The younger you are, the more age gaps matter. There's a bigger difference in development between a 13 year old and a 17 year old than there is between a 20 year old and a 24 year old. It helps to try to contextualize it with real people instead of numbers. Instead of thinking "oh just 4 years? that's not that weird" consider "oh. that would be like a freshman (13/14) dating a senior (17/18). yikes."

Be just as wary of people your own age talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Just like irl, sometimes you’ll meet people your age that are hurtful.

Friends complain to each other and talk about their issues, that alone is fine. But when people are doing it without permission, draw a line. When people are making it feel like you’re responsible for maintaining their mental health, you need to draw a line. When it starts to effect your mental health, PLEASE DRAW A LINE! I know it feels like your responsibility sometimes, but it’s not. You cannot be there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.

Don’t be afraid to block people. Even for petty reasons. It’s good to block people. Don’t force yourself to see stuff you don’t want to see.

Being Constantly Online

The 24 hour news cycle is not a good thing to follow 24/7. Taking social responsibility is a good thing, but your brain is NOT built to worry about every issue in the world at once. One strategy I use for staying sane is I try to only check the news once a day, and if something needs more attention to set aside an amount of time I’m going to focus on it before I need to take time to step back.

Touch grass. Not literally, unless you can in which case I highly suggest it, sometimes it’s just good to lay in a field. What I mean is you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to being offline (sleep does not count). What your offline time looks like is going to differ depending on your level of ability, but even if you are house bound it’s important to build some hobbies that don’t rely on the internet. Talking to people offline is also a good goal if possible, even just to your housemates.

Social etiquette greatly differs online and offline and sometimes the reminder that were all just Some People gets lost behind the numbers and the fabricated personas. Keep in mind the difference in how information is shared without forgetting that the fact we are all people remains the same.

Be generous with your etiquette. You will avoid a lot of stress if you conduct yourself with the same politeness you would have in an offline interaction. Master the art of "minding your own business" for your own sake.

Arguments and Competition

As soon as you can, you need to internalize the fact that leaving an argument is not losing.

It is inevitable you will be exposed to many people who disagree with you. Some people only want to argue to rile you up. Sometimes that’s not their intention, but it’s what they’re doing. You do not have to remain in conversation with people, especially if they’re not interested in actually coming to an understanding. Even if they are interested, sometimes they just suck!! Leave!! You can leave!!

On that note, sometimes you are going to get valid criticism and it’s going to hurt. That is part of learning. If someone says you messed up and did something hurtful, take a second to step back from your defensiveness and consider: intent ≠ effect. Apologize, repair what you can, and move forward with the ability to do better in the future. You’re going to mess up every once in awhile, it’s inevitable.

To summarize the past two points: don't waste your time on unnecessary hostility but don't close yourself into an echo chamber either. Debates should be about learning.

Sometimes people are not going to like you. This happens offline too but people tend to be a lot more blunt online. Sometimes people dislike you for no reason or for really petty reasons. That’s not your problem, move on.

Don’t actively seek out people you don’t like or who don’t like you to argue with. Whether or not your side is the “right side” doesn’t matter, it’s going to cause you so much unnecessary stress. Feel free to keep posting your opinions on your own profile but don’t seek out unnecessary conflict.

This is a different type of competition than previously mentioned, but be aware of the danger of comparing yourself to other people. Especially if you’re a creative or student, DO NOT GET SWEPT UP IN THE GRIND CULTURE. It’s more subtle in some places than others, but anytime you see the notion that you should be working yourself to the bone be VERY critical. Also be critical of any online cultures (such as gaming and art communities) that brag about unhealthy habits or act like it’s ~part of the culture~ (ex: all nighters, not taking breaks, getting hurt. Any activity that neglects health to work toward a goal).

Not just grind culture, any community of subculture that shares anti recovery sentiments is a huge red flag. Even if they're joking, it's not worth the risk of internalizing those statements.

Everyone’s social media presence is to some degree doctored because it’s a purposefully selected collection of what they allow you to see. It’s fine to like the persona you see being displayed, but never forget that it is not reflective of the entire person. Everyone online is JUST SOME PERSON. Do not forget that and start holding yourself to a standard you can’t even see every side of.

By posting online you are opening yourself to criticism. Whether or not it’s justified can vary, but either way it’s going to happen. Mute stuff, go private, disable comments, etc if you need to.

Misc Tidbits

these are technically just general info that is also good for offline but I have seen things that make me think people online need the extra reminder.

Learn what cults are, how they recruit, and what they do to their members. I'm not kidding. This is particularly relevant at the moment because of current societal unrest and widespread loneliness. No one is immune to cult propaganda, and not every cult is based on pre established religion or family. Many exist ONLINE and are able to manipulate people without ever meeting face to face. (learn more: Loneliness as a Pandemic: The Dangers of Online Cult

Familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience. Please familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience and then learn how to identify pseudoscience. (learn more: Karl Popper, Science, & Pseudoscience: Crash Course Philosophy #8)

Q. How do I know if a source is reliable?

Final Thoughts

It's important people of ALL ages learn these lessons, because the internet is constantly changing and we are all vulnerable when in the presence of other people.

Be cautious and stay safe

[mercy-burning]

Make It Even

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reaer Summary: Part 2 to Out Of Commission (but can be read separately) - After about a month of recovering from an injury, Reader can finally have sex again, and Spencer has an idea. Category: Smut 18+ (female masturbation, use of a vibrator, dirty talk - degradation with mentions of fingering, hair pulling, and rough sex) Warnings: Sex, language, brief mentions of injury (As always, if there’s anything that I missed, please let me know what I should include in warnings! I always want to be as mindful as I can about what I post. Thank you!) Word Count: 3.3k

***EDITED: 7/25/2021***

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLSIT

***

Being seriously hurt by a serial killer was definitely not fun in any capacity, but the whole thing had been a major learning experience.

For one thing, Y/N learned that she hated hospital checkups. Once a week she had to go, to make sure everything was healing properly. Having Spencer there to make sure everything was going smoothly was extra comforting, though it didn't make constant doctor visits any less tedious.

Secondly, she hated menstruation. Which was a natural, obvious disdain that she'd harbored since the ripe age of eleven, but while being severely injured like she'd been recently, it sucked extra. Not only did she have to deal with menstrual pain and having to be careful not to rip or irritate her stitches every time she cleaned up, but she was also extra horny with no outlet for it.

That one week was probably the worst of it. Spencer wanted to stay with her of course, to bring her the extra comfort, but it was less comforting and more torturous unfortunately. She insisted that he stay at his apartment or at least sleep on the couch, because she didn't know how many more cold showers she could take.

Finally, she learned that her ability to marathon movies was probably one of her strongest assets. Not only did she manage to watch every single Lord of the Rings, Twilight, Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Fast and the Furious movie, but she stayed awake and alert through every one. She tried getting Spencer to pay attention to Twilight, but he did fall asleep, though somehow managed to make it through every Fast and the Furious film. She'd make him re-watch them in time, but right now she was just glad that she could get up and move around like a normal person again.

Speaking of, she was currently waiting for her boyfriend to come back from the store. She'd wanted to go with, but he insisted on getting some surprises, so he went alone.

Y/N was cleaning up her kitchen when the door opened and Spencer walked in, struggling to carry more than four large grocery bags.

"Geez, what did you get? I thought we were just making a pizza..." Y/N laughed, running over to help him carry some of the bags. He handed her the lighter ones, still taking caution of her injuries, and she smiled fondly for it.

"I know," he said, slightly out of breath from the walk. "And I got stuff to make pizza, but there were some other things I wanted to get you."

She was about to open one of the bags to help unload everything, but he stopped her. "No! Don't look at anything. Surprises, remember?"

With a sigh and a small laugh, Y/N stepped away from the bags as Spencer set down the ones he was carrying. "Fine. Where do you want me?"

"Bedroom. I'll come in when I'm done." He walked to her and gave her a big, deep kiss before practically pushing her to the bedroom. "Won't take long, promise."

As she heard him unload the bags in the kitchen through the closed door, Y/N wondered what he could possibly have gotten. Knowing Spencer, it could have been about a million different things. Since they'd started dating, he was always so creative and thoughtful with his 'surprises', and each one had been different every time. And since he knew her so well, probably more than she knew herself, she was certain she was going to love it.

That being said, it was taking way longer than she thought it would.

"Hey, you said it wasn't going to take long!" she called out, crossing her legs and swinging them off the bed after closing Twitter from her phone and setting it on the nightstand. "You didn't get lost in there, did you?"

"No!" Spencer called back. "Almost done!"

She smiled to herself, tapping her fingers against her knees and tilting her head to the side in wait.

About a minute passed when she heard him at the door. "Okay, close your eyes!"

She rolled them affectionately before doing so. "They're closed!"

As she heard the door open, she couldn't help the smile that adorned her face, only growing wider when she felt Spencer pepper sweet kisses along her cheeks before she felt him kneel in front of her on the floor. He took her knees and spread them apart, and she raised her eyebrows, eyes still closed. "What are you doing?"

"Getting in position. Open your eyes."

By the amused tone in his voice alone, Y/N thought she had a pretty good idea of what she might find when she regained sight. Sure enough, when she opened her eyes, she looked down and noticed Spencer kneeling on the floor, head tilted upward to look at her, his hands in his lap and his eyes searching hers with the most adoring gleam she'd ever seen.

She laughed, bringing her hands out to run through his hair. When they cradled his cheeks, he smiled, bringing his hands up from his lap and revealing... A vibrator. She'd never seen it before. He must have bought and sanitized it before coming in the room, which would be why it had taken so long.

"You.. You bought me a vibrator?"

"Mhm," he answered with the giddiest tone she'd ever heard from him. "I really appreciated what you did for me while you were... out of commission... a few weeks ago, so I wanted to return the favor. Kind of. I, uh... I have an idea..."

Y/N took the vibrator from him and turned it over in her hands as he explained himself.

"I know we could start having sex again, but I thought this would be a fun way to ease you into it, plus I get to make it even."

She looked down at him, amused with an eyebrow raised and a small smirk forming on her mouth. "You want to watch me fuck myself with a vibrator?"

Spencer nodded, placing his hands on her knees again. "And we don't even have to have sex afterwards if you don't want. I have extra clothes here, and I'm more than prepared to take a cold shower when you're done."

Laughing, she leaned down and kissed his forehead, right before leaning her own against it. "You're sure?"

"Mhm. Only if you want to, I mean, I thought it would be fun..."

Y/N pulled away and ran a hand through his hair, nodding. "It does sound fun. You gonna talk me through it?"

He nodded and leaned up on his knees a little to reach her lips, kissing her just as deeply as he had in the kitchen earlier. She kissed him back fervently, reveling in the feeling of his tongue against hers and the soft hums he let out whenever their lips slightly parted to kiss each other deeper.

Eventually she pushed his shoulders down and moved her head back, looking down at him with her bottom lip tucked between her teeth briefly before speaking. "Will you take my pants off for me, please?" she inquired sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

If she kept up this sweet act, this was going to be way harder for him than anticipated, and they both knew it. Regardless, he was more than happy to reach up and unbutton her jeans, looking up at her adoringly while he shimmied them down over her thighs and eventually her ankles.

The second he went back to his position on the floor, Y/N flipped the vibrator over in her hands. "What would you like me to do, baby?"

"Put your legs up on my shoulders?"

She draped her ankles over his shoulders and pulled him closer with them, a small smile forming as his eyes practically widened, being so close to her, where he hadn't been in so long. "Don't turn the vibrator on yet," he said softly, his eyes flicking up to meet hers. He turned his head a little and pressed a soft kiss to the inside of her calf before he continued. "I want you to touch it to yourself, just lightly over your panties, okay?"

With a nod, Y/N leaned back on one arm and used the other to bring the toy to her clothed pussy, running it softly over herself as instructed. She sighed, biting her lip as she looked down at Spencer, who was mesmerized by her hand movements. She could feel herself getting visibly wetter as he watched, a soft whine escaping her throat before he looked up at her.

"You feeling it already, baby?" he murmured softly, bringing his arms up to wrap around the underside of her legs and resting his hands on the insides of her thighs. As his fingers drifted softly in lazy circles, she mimicked their movements with the vibrator on her clit, longing desperately for more friction.

"Please," she breathed, so lightly that she was unsure he'd even heard her, even as she looked him dead in the eye as she said it.

For a moment she thought about sliding the vibrator under the fabric anyway, taking the chance that he wouldn't do anything to chastise her for it. Thankfully it didn't have to go that far, because Spencer removed himself completely from her and stood up.

"Lay back against the headboard?" he asked more than demanded.

Y/N didn't even have to think, scooting back and into position. As she did so, he climbed on the bed himself and sat across from her, making himself as comfortable as he could be.

Probably because she was excited to start having sex again, but also because it was just fun to see her boyfriend's reactions to her boldness, she smirked a little, looking him straight in the eye as she slipped her panties off and threw them in his direction. They landed on his shoulder, and he didn't move them, his own giddy grin making an appearance. To give him more of a show, she ran her hands slowly up her legs, spreading them wider with each passing second until they were completely open, revealing everything to him.

The second Spencer's eyes glanced down, she started to move, using her middle finger to run through pussy. She continued this for almost a minute, her boyfriend completely focused on what she was doing, speechless, before almost jolting him with her words.

"You gonna help me out, Doc, or are you just gonna stare?"

He looked back up at her face, and she could see him visibly swallow, his enchantment with her completely endearing. Then he replied.

"God, you're beautiful..." The sweetness in his words, just barely laced with desire made her move a little faster, though not by much. He still seemed to notice, though, because he flashed a grin that disappeared as quickly as it came, right before shifting in his place and continuing with his words. "You have no idea how much I've missed seeing your pretty little pussy..."

She sighed, leaning her head back and circling her clit. She loved hearing him talk, about anything, really, but when he was like this? She couldn't get enough.

"So many nights this past month, it's taken so much out of me, resisting the urge to just sneak my hand up your shorts when we were in bed, watching movies together. To feel you squirm under my touch. I thought about how much I wanted to play with your pussy, sort of like you're doing now..."

Her fingers moved a little faster as she recalled a similar dream she'd had one of those nights. She'd been thinking about sex all day and ended up dreaming about just that—Spencer crawling over her and fingering her, bringing her to the edge over and over again until she finally woke up feeling sore. She'd been moving in her sleep, and it wasn't fun. At all.

But now she could move all she wanted. Listening to her boyfriend talk about doing to her exactly what she'd experienced and dreamed about many times before filled her with the most joy she'd felt in the longest month of her life.

So she reached for the vibrator that she'd set beside her, and replaced her fingers with it, opening her eyes to meet him. He watched her intently with his hands clenching the sheets beneath him. It made her smile, knowing he couldn't do anything about it, and that spurred her on. She hesitated to turn it on, wanting to wait until he started speaking again, maybe when he was in the middle of a sentence, to see if he'd pause or stumble over his words.

As she ran the toy along her clit, she tilted her head to the side and sighed. "Your fingers always feel so good inside me, baby," she said, slipping the vibrator lower and slowly plunging it inside of her. "They're so long and perfect. And you use them so well."

He exhaled, still completely entranced with everything she was saying and doing. Because just as long as she hadn't had any sexual stimulation, he hadn't seen her experience it either, and this was just as exhilarating for him as it was for her.

"Are you trying to kill me?" he asked softly, briefly meeting her eyes.

She laughed a little, giving him the most mischievous look before clicking the vibrator on and slowly moving it in and out of herself. "If you want to call it quits and just fuck me, all you have to do is say so... I don't mind, believe me..."

He genuinely looked like he was contemplating it before shaking his head softly, a hint of sadness flashing in his eyes. "No, I-I promised I'd make it even. I want to watch you."

With that sentiment, Y/N worked the vibrator a little faster, sighing out as she did so. "So... When you do finally fuck me, do you still want to take me from behind?"

"Mhm," Spencer sighed, shifting his position again. "You feel so good that way. So nice and tight. And it's even better when I have your hair in my fingers, hearing you moan for me while I tug on it."

As her one hand worked the vibrator inside and out of her, Y/N moved her other to circle her clit, both of them working together to build up the orgasm that was already starting to come to the surface. After all this time not having any sexual release, she knew this wouldn't take long, even if she tried to take it slow.

She moaned out softly like Spencer described, barely keeping her eyes open enough to see him grip the sheets tighter. His eyes were trained on her movements, barely blinking.

Since she was closer to orgasm than she'd been in months, she closed her eyes before speaking again, hoping that he'd continue talking and knowing that when he did it would finally give her the release she'd so desperately wanted to feel.

"Fuck, baby, yes... I love when you fuck me from behind and pull my hair. It makes me feel like such a bad girl..."

"Oh? So you'd rather I fuck you like a dirty whore than my girlfriend, is that it?"

Her words seemed to have flipped a switch in him, because every one of his was dripping with a deep seduction she'd only ever heard from him a few times. It sent a jolt of electricity through her body as her hands picked up speed, and she brought herself closer to the edge.

"Ohhh, yes," she sighed, her eyes squeezing shut harder as she felt that telltale tension in her lower stomach. She was going to cum any second now. "Please, baby, I want it so bad..."

He spoke loud and clear, knowing exactly what would get her there. "Aw, my poor little slut hasn't been fucked in so long she's desperate to be degraded? Is that what you want? You wanna be fucked so dumb you can't even think?"

Every sensation she was feeling right now really did send her into a state of speechlessness. It was truly magical the way Spencer knew how to control her like that. He knew every trick in the book, every single thing that would make her numb in the best ways possible, and it never got old. All she could manage were sharp breaths and the occasional whimper as she started to experience the first orgasm she'd had in just over a month.

All it took was one word. One demand. One forceful step on the gas pedal that sent her flying off the cliff and into the pool of pleasure below.

"Come."

With a long, drawn-out moan, Y/N held the vibrator as far inside her as she could take it, her other hand working her clit through one of the most blinding orgasms she'd ever experienced by herself. Her head stayed planted firmly against the headboard as her back arched and her toes curled, every muscle in her body tensing. Her vision went white, sparkling like tv static behind closed eyelids as she lit up with pleasure. God, she missed that feeling. Everything was so heavy and light at the same time, even as she came down, her back slumping against the headboard once again and her eyes fluttering open.

Spencer looked at her like she was the only thing he'd ever known, ever had the pleasure to see with his own two eyes.

Seeing how obvious it was that he was trying very hard not to do anything about his own arousal, Y/N clicked the vibrator off and slid it out of herself, smiling weakly at him and trying to catch her breath. "You want a taste?"

She'd never seen him move faster in her life. She laughed softly as he climbed over to her and brought the toy to his lips, looking her deep in the eyes as he took it in his mouth and sucked on it. The pure guttural groan that left his throat sent a chill down her spine, made even more profound when his hand came up to run his fingers through her pussy softly. She jolted forward at the contact, sending the vibrator further into his mouth, to which he groaned again and fluttered his eyes closed.

His fingers gathered more of her arousal as he pulled off the vibrator and opened his eyes again, sitting back just a little. He then brought his fingers away and to his lips, coating them in her arousal like lip balm. He sucked them off quickly before climbing forward and kissing her on the mouth.  

Tasting herself on him was almost as intoxicating as the orgasm itself, Y/N leaning into him and bringing her hands up to comb through his hair after tossing the vibrator to the side. The two of them stayed like that for a long time, making out with each other before they eventually came up for air.

Spencer smiled, leaning his forehead against hers. "You're fucking incredible, you know that?"

She laughed, brushing her nose against his. "You're the one who bought me a vibrator, And helped me get through this injury... I love you, you know."

He sighed into her, pressing another small, sweet kiss to her lips before shifting seemingly rather uncomfortably. "I love you, too. But as much as I love you, I really need to take that cold shower now."

"I'll get our pizza started while you do that," Y/N said with a laugh. "And then, maybe I can finally convince you to watch Twilight with me without falling asleep? At least the first movie?"

Spencer got off the bed and kissed the top of her head with the most doting smile. "Anything you want."

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Keep Breathing (standalone)

Summary:  Edge can handle this. He can. All he has to do is keep breathing.

Notes:    I forget where I saw it, on twitter or discord, about Edge being unable to understand what he felt when he saw Stretch. This is what sort of evolved from it.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Papcest, Angst, Feels, LV Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence

~~~~

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Breathing, that was what was important. In, out, deep, slow breaths. It took a few before the icy Snowdin air seemed to help smother the fire currently burning in his chest. Edge kept it up, slow breaths, in and out, and he didn’t have lungs, but he still needed air, his magic greedily incorporating the oxygen as the sense of smothering he’d felt in the Swap brothers’ house faded.

His bones felt hot and achy, the snow beneath him melting and soaking into his trousers as he sat curled up on the ground behind the house, out of view of any passersby on the streets. Not far away he could hear the crunch of footsteps and words blurred by distance, pedestrians heading to the shops or perhaps Muffet’s for a treat. Their laughter was clearer, unknowing that he was close by and listening, and Edge buried his face into his updrawn knees and did not wonder at what they might think if they saw him here, if their concern would turn to fear with a simple Check.

It was rare that he made such a foolish mistake. If his brother’s lessons hadn’t taught him caution, then life in Underfell certainly had. One was cautious or one was dead, there was little room for error. Although foolish was far too sedate a word for this. Insanity might be closer, to come here to this softer world with his LV still sizzling in his soul. He’d thought it was safe, that it had settled enough or perhaps wished it so desperately to be true that he’d convinced himself it was.

He should have known better.

Bounty hunters were supposed to restrain themselves to the deeper parts of Snowdin woods where no one lived, only existed, those who lumbered about with their minds lost to their LV. Supposed to, but anyone willing to bounty usually had high LV themselves and the irony that they would probably become what they hunted in the end was not often lost on them. When they were teetering between hunter and hunted, anyone unlucky enough to cross their path could be the one to set them off and send them over the brink. Edge’s luck had been especially poor today to come across a hunting pair while checking the traplines and if he’d been only slightly slower, a fraction less dedicated to his training, he would have simply been more dust added to their growing pile.

He hadn’t killed them, though it had been a near thing. Only taken them down to one HP and left them panting in the snow to either drag themselves away to try healing or perhaps finish each other off. Either way, they were likely as good as dead, but he refused to take them over the line. His own LV was already high enough, he shuddered to think of the amount of XP that would come from killing a hunter, much less two. He hadn’t stayed to see which option they chose, only hurried back to Snowdin proper without trying to seem as if he was hurrying. The walk had seemed endless, fraught with peril as anyone who dared check him would find him vulnerable. No one did, their ingrained wariness of the guard keeping them from trying their chances.

He’d arrived home with no fresh XP, but his soul still felt as if it were lit on fire from deep within, crying greedily for more. He likened it to a voice in the back of his skull, one that grew louder with every LV up and made cold demands for more payment in dust. He’d learned to ignore it, mostly, except for these moments when his soul felt as if it was swelling in his ribcage, hovering hot and bloated in his chest, and wresting control back seemed to take longer every time.

He should have called Blue then to cancel their cooking lesson, offered his regrets and made plans for another day. He should have and hadn’t, selfishly telling himself that he had it under control because he hadn’t wanted to cancel. He’d wanted to come to their shared cooking lessons, wanted to be here in this world with its abundant supplies and residents that walked the streets easily without having to peer out their front doors before stepping out into crisp air that didn’t taste of bitter, lingering dust. The same air he was so desperately inhaling now.

Tacos were the order of the day, a simple dish with a thousand variations. He’d been helping Blue chop up the brisket that’d already spent the day roasting slowly in the oven and he'd absently reached for a scrap of gristle that would otherwise be heading to the waste bin, only to have Blue playfully slap his hand away.

"Ah, ah,” he’d laughed, his starry eye lights bright and amused, “you'll spoil your appetite."

And in that one split second, his control broke free of his increasingly tenuous grasp and he'd nearly struck back. He could still see his intention in his mind's eye, to slap this little aggravation out of his way, how dare they lay a hand on him when they should be cowering at his feet, how dare they, how—

He'd reeled it back in almost instantly, but the damage was done, the urge lingering. He wouldn’t allow it control. He couldn’t. Edge turned on his heel and walked out, ignoring Blue's confused calls for him to come back, he was only teasing, Edge…?

He ignored it all, hasty strides taking him out into the cold snow, fleeing as if the hunters were still scrabbling at his heels and not one small, confused skeleton. He’d gone, one hand clawing at the front of his shirt to let in some much-needed cold air and didn’t stop until he was around the house at the back door that led downstairs to the machine. His boots slid in snow hardpacked from so many others walking through it and he’d slipped, falling heavily to the ground. His flight back to Underfell paused as he crawled over to lean against the house and all he could do was heave in long, slow breaths to ease the aching burn in his chest.

Around him, lights were coming from the windows of the other little houses, cutting through the darkness. Artificial dusk had fallen at some point after he’d arrived, and those houses were filled with Monsters who had no idea who was in their midst. Their souls weren’t like his; they were innocent, as pure as Blue’s, and—

Blue.

He’d been so confused, apologizing profusely even without knowing what he was apologizing for. Edge would have to think of something to tell him, some excuse for his poor manners. Better for Blue to think Edge rude than the alternative; that he’d very nearly beaten him bloody in his own kitchen for the tiny sin of teasing. He needed to get and keep control over himself, and right quickly. Any moment now Blue might come looking at him, all innocent, solicitous concern.

He didn’t want Blue to see him right now, didn’t want anyone to see him. But the voice that suddenly came was from no one he’d considered at all.

“you okay?”

Edge whipped around to see Stretch leaning around enough to peer around the corner, his lower half still concealed by the house. One of his ever-present cigarettes was smoldering between two fingers, ash falling from the tip into the snow, so much like dust—

“What the hell do you want?” Edge snarled, his guilt suddenly swirling with the tension Stretch always brought with him. There was something about Stretch that had simply irritated him at first sight, something that he couldn’t put to words. It couldn’t be his lazy ways or his attitude or even his way of dress. Sans was much the same and he didn’t provoke the same reaction. But there was something, something in his enigmatic smile or the cant of his hips that made Edge’s soul stir in a way reminiscent of LV. Like now, fanning the already agitated heat inside him even hotter.

Stretch only shrugged. He’d always taken Edge’s dislike of him in stride, offering the occasional sly insult and little more. “just what it says on the box. are you okay?”

Someone of the science mind might find it interesting that all of them sounded so differently. Papyrus’s voice was surprisingly nasally for someone who had no nose, and Edge’s own ranged into higher pitch, almost a screech at times, and it took considerable effort to keep it to a lower tone. The low rasp of Stretch’s, like velvet polishing marble, was surely a sign of the Universe’s bizarre sense of humor; he didn’t deserve such a voice to use while he snored his life away.

“I’m fine,” Edge said shortly.

“uh huh. fine. you’re always fine, huh. bet your ass you are.” He exhaled smoke through his nasal aperture and it wreathed his face, his cigarette glowed brighter as he took another drag. The glowing ember briefly illuminating his face, giving it an eldritch cast and making his resemblance to Edge even more uncanny than normal. "even when you’re not.”

Did he know what Edge had been thinking? Difficult to say with him, there were times when Edge envied that carelessly bland expression, so difficult to read, even for his own brother.

“Am I supposed to be grateful for your concern?” Edge asked instead. “I see you looking at me. I know what you think of me.”

“yeah?” Stretch said mildly. “you think you got the inside scoop of what’s on my mind?”

Edge closed his mouth hard and turned away. No, no, he didn't and that was part of the problem, wasn't it. He didn’t know what went on in that head, couldn’t begin to guess. He only knew that despite sharing a face, it was nothing like what was in his own.

Stretch finally stepped around the corner entirely, sauntering closer and seeming not to notice Edge’s barely stifled flinch even as he snarled, “Get that filthy thing away from me—"

He trailed away as Stretch tamped out the cigarette on the bottom of his sneaker before he could finish, tucking the remaining butt into his pocket.

Stretch sat down next to him, seemingly equally unperturbed by the snow soaking into his clothes and Edge’s unwelcoming expression. Not touching, but close enough if one want to reach out a hand. Or a fist.

“what am i thinking,” Stretch mused, “hm. tell you what, let me give you a quick rundown. right now, i’m thinking that i wanted to check on you ‘cause you ran out of my house like you were getting chased by a bony bat out of hell. even my little bro’s most creative cooking ain’t that bad. i wanted to make sure you're okay.” He shrugged, an easy roll of shoulders. “that's it, it's not that deep.”

That was untrue. The fact that he came out at all meant something and Edge didn’t understand what. Unless his goal was to keep Blue away, a sensible choice if that were so.

Stretch didn’t wait for him to gather his wandering thoughts. "you think you know what’s on my mind? let me tell you something. you come from the wrong side of the multiverse and shit is rough for you, right? you think i don’t get that? you think that sitting here cushy in my slice of the universe means i don’t get what it’s like for you?” He tipped his head towards Edge, half a smirk lifting the side of his mouth and Edge wondered if he were being mocked. “well, you’re right. i don’t. but only takes one look at your face to guess that.” His hands didn’t seem to know what to do without their usual vice. They rested on his knees, his thumbs rubbing absent circles against the coarse material of his cargo pants. “i don’t know what it’s like to live in your ‘verse and you only think you know what it’s like in mine. we’re that much alike, ain’t we.”

“I have LV.” And you don’t was left unspoken.

“i know. but i’d be the last person to judge you about that.” His smirk twisted into something almost bitter, some humor that Edge couldn’t place. “the very last.” Stretch sighed and climbed to his feet with a groan, pressing both hands into the base of his spine as he arched. He held out a hand and after a moment, Edge took it. his gloved fingers against Stretch’s bare ones. ”come on, my bro’s been working hard on his weird ass tacos. ‘preciate if you could choke down a bite or t—hey!”

His yelp was loud, echoing then lost in the cavern overhead. The moment he was on his feet, Edge pushed Stretch against the house and finally that casual façade cracked, his sockets startled and wide as Edge pinned him against the wall. That hot, heavy feeling in his soul surged again, overwhelming the linger dregs of LV and all Edge wanted was to wipe away that easy smirk, touch the untouchable.

Only that startled expression changed into something else, unexpected and unreadable. “well, now, didn’t know this was already on the menu.”

“What?” Edge only managed that single word before Stretch kissed him, full and hard, right on the mouth. His teeth were already parted and Stretch’s tongue slipped smoothly between them, moving against his own. Edge might have expected the taste of cigarettes and it was there, a little, the slightest taint of ashy nicotine. That taste was quickly swallowed up, engulfed, transmuting into unknown honeyed sweetness and warmth.

Stretch’s hands were resting on Edge’s chest, his bare, bony palms flat against his uniform shirt, bleeding warmth through the cold air around them and it was too fast, too much. Edge jerked back and stared speechlessly into Stretch’s face. His eye sockets were half-closed and within them, lights burned, their normal pale hue tinged with a strange cocktail of orange and blue.

His mouth moved as Edge stared, reforming that lazy smirk before he said, “you wanna go right here or take this up to my room?”

The words made no sense to him, nothing but pointless yammering. Then he realized he still had Stretch pinned against a wall, pressed to him from chest to pelvis.

Oh. He thought Edge wanted sex. He didn’t, that wasn’t why, but the actual reasons were fuzzy now, distorted. Why had he pinned Stretch to the wall? He was no longer certain. That confusing roil in his soul whenever he saw Stretch only surged harder as if straining inside his ribcage, LV only a careless afterthought, drowned out by the taste of sweetness lingering on his tongue. He breathed in hard through his teeth, but the cold air didn’t deaden that tingle, the burn shifting from his soul to his mouth. He didn’t know, he didn’t understand, he couldn’t—

Edge backed off, almost stumbling as he stuttered out, “I…I didn’t…”

That easy sultry expression shifted, Stretch’s gaze narrowing. “no, you didn’t, did you. pity,” he murmured. He dusted himself off as if to sweep away any lingering traces of Edge’s touch, already reaching into his pocket for his lighter and cigarettes. “welp. on we go, then, to dinner and probable indigestion.”

All Edge could do was follow him, noting that his back was infuriatingly dry while Edge could feel his own snow-wet clothes clinging uncomfortable to his bones.

Stretch turned the corner and abruptly stopped, wariness dropping briefly across his face before it smoothed away. Edge didn’t think, pushed in front of him automatically to face whatever threat dared to invade this world and instead found his own brother standing there.

With his slouching stance and his hands tucked into his jacket pockets, some might mistake Red for harmless. It was a mistake few survived and even Edge was wary of that casual menace. Red’s gaze narrowed as he looked at them, crimson eye lights sweeping over them both. He ran his tongue over his teeth, the tip digging into the gold one. “heya, ashtray. whatcha doing out here with my bro?”

The lazy warning was unmistakable, and Edge stiffened, already bracing himself to take the brunt of his brother’s temper. Stretch only stepped around him, flashing that careless smile as he tucked a cigarette into the corner of his mouth. He cupped his hands around the flame of his lighter, breathing out a cloud of smoke as he said, “nothing i wouldn’t do with you.”

“that ain’t much reassurance.”

“heh. wasn’t trying to be.” He strolled on, skirting around Red with an extra sway in his narrow hips as if he was just another obstacle in his path and left Edge to deal with his brother.

The moment he was out of sight, Edge swung around to glare at Red.

It had little effect on his brother, it never had. He only offered his own shrug, the roll of his shoulders infuriatingly similar to Stretch’s. “just makin’ sure you ain’t gonna lose your head, boss.”

Edge narrowed his gaze, hissing out, “I don’t need your help!”

“no?”

The word was soaked in doubt and Edge stormed past him, ignoring whatever else Red said as he went back into the house where Blue was surely waiting. There were apologies to be made and tacos to be eaten. At least whatever it was that Stretch stirred in his soul had settled his LV, that heat was banked back, for now. He could handle anything else that came his way, he didn’t need help from anyone, not even his brother, and if seeing Stretch sitting at the dinner table made him inhale slowly through his open mouth, his mouth watering not from tacos but from a memory of sweetness, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if that taste lingered, if that strange feeling still sat heavy in his soul.

None of it mattered, so long as he kept breathing.

-finis-

[sunshinejihyun]

Wedding Bells - Saeyoung Choi

Summary: A dating app brings two unexpected people together

A note about this work: All of the RFA members have significant others (besides Saeyoung, MC is used for this fic as normal) that are referred to by name. Those are my OC’s and they’re the names I use when I play those characters routes. I just needed to give everyone a happy ending, okay?

Here is a quick breakdown: Yoosung and Wenyn Zen and Briar Jaehee and Cordelia Jumin and Luce

You can meet all my OC’s here!

Word count: 5.4k

Masterlist

“What do you mean I have to have a date to your wedding?” Saeyoung Choi stood staring out his kitchen window, his phone pressed against his ear and his best friend, Yoosung was spewing some ridiculous ideas into his ear.

“I mean just that. Bring a date, everyone thinks you have a girlfriend.” Yoosung’s voice sounded muffled on the other end and Saeyoung’s brow furrowed. “Sorry, Wenyn was trying to tell me something. But seriously, bring a date or else!”

“Where am I supposed to find a date in the next two weeks?” Saeyoung rubbed at the part of his nose that his glasses rested. “You know what - never mind. I’ll figure it out. Talk to you later!” Before Yoosung could get another word in, Saeyoung was pressing the end call button.

Two questions were ringing clearly in his head: first, why the hell would Yoosung tell everyone he was seeing someone and where the hell was he supposed to meet a girl to bring to a wedding on such short notice?

Sitting himself down at his computer, Saeyoung found himself looking at dating sites, only half considering making an account. After one bad tinder date, he had ended up deleting himself from the app (and hacking into her phone to erase his number, but that was a different story) and vowed to never go on another dating app. But desperate times called for desperate measures, so he’d have to make do with the resources he had which is how Saeyoung found himself signing up for Tinder for the second time.

-

“Any luck on the date hunt?” Yoosung had stopped by Saeyoung’s bunker in hopes of stowing away for a few hours; wedding planning was tough and the blond needed some time away from it all.

“No, I rejoined tinder but it seems the only people who match with me want me to pay for their OnlyFans - I don’t even know what that is! - or just don’t respond! I’m getting frustrated.” Saeyoung whined, glaring at his blond friend. “Tell me why you had to tell everyone I was seeing someone?”

“I don’t know! You’re the only one from the RFA not bringing a date, I didn’t want you to feel left out!” Yousung replied, looking over Saeyoung’s shoulder and swiping right on the tinder profile Saeyoung was currently looking at. “What if.. You make your own app?”

“My own app?” Saeyoung echoed and Yoosung nodded, letting Saeyoung bounce the idea around in my head. “I’d have to hack some websites like Facebook and Twitter to advertise it, but that would be a good idea.”

Yoosung grinned, happy to have supplied Saeyoung with a good idea and patted his friend on the shoulder. “Alright, I’ll leave you to it. Wenyn’s probably freaking out wondering where I am since I said I was going to the convenience store for milk. I’ll text you later and check on how your app is coming along!”

Saeyoung barely heard his younger friend, mind already reeling as he started figuring out how to design his new app.

-

“MC! Good morning, the usual?” Jaehee Kang was standing behind her bakery’s counter, cleaning the steam spout on the coffee machine as you approached the counter. Ever since Jaehee and her partner Cordelia had opened up this shop, you’ve been a frequent customer and have become friends with both the women who ran it.

“Good morning, Jaehee! And, yes please.” You replied, looking down at your phone and chewing your nail nervously.

“Something on your mind?” The girl’s long hair was tied back today and you laughed as she continually pushed a piece of hair that fell out of place before starting on your coffee order,

“Eh, it’s nothing bad. Just having a family party and everyone’s expecting me to bring a date. A date that I definitely don’t have.” You locked your phone before shoving it in your pocket so you were able to grab your drink from Jaehee.

“I have a friend who just finished designing an app,” Jaehee’s voice was soft as she spoke of this person, like they were someone who she held very dear to her heart. “It might help you with your problem. It’s called Wedding Bells, look it up on the app store.”

“Wedding Bells? I’m not looking to get married!” You laughed and headed for the door, letting the next customer order from Jaehee. She sent you a small smile and a wave before putting all her attention on the man standing in front of her.

As you were walking back to your house, curiosity got the best of you and you pulled out your phone before searching Wedding Bells on the app store. A simple ‘W’ was the app’s logo and the description was: ‘Looking for a fake date to a wedding or another family function? Look no further! With Wedding Bells, you’re connected with other people looking for dates!’

Without thinking about it too much, you downloaded the app and when you got home, you sat down and started filling out your profile. It asked for specifics, like the exact date and time you needed someone with you as well as your likes and dislikes and from there gave you a small list of 10 people they think you’d be a good fake date for and vise versa.

Scrolling through the first two profiles, you were virtually unimpressed. These people seemed bland - like they had no personality, which was probably the reason why they weren’t able to find dates. The third profile you clicked on had potential, he seemed funny in his answers and like he actually cared about how people perceived him. Plus he was good looking, which was always a bonus. Throwing caution to the wind, you decided to message him.

MC: Hey, Saeyoung! I see you need a date to a wedding, what a coincidence, I’m also in need of a fake date to a family function.

You put yourself out there, now no one could say you didn’t try. Just as you were about to exit out of the app, you noticed that Saeyoung was typing so you stayed, anxious to see his response.

Saeyoung: MC! Greetings! Yep yep yep I need a date… it’s to my best friends wedding and everyone thinks I have a girlfriend! You have any experience in the being-a-fake-girlfriend department?

MC: Can’t say I’ve ever been someone’s fake girlfriend, but I have been a real girlfriend once or twice so I think I can handle it!

Saeyoung: Amazing! I think I’d be a great fake boyfriend if I did say so myself! Would you be interested in being my fake girlfriend?

MC: Only if you’re interested in being my fake boyfriend!

The rest of the night was spent chatting with Saeyoung. You had even switched over to a video call at one point and the entire time was spent with you both choosing outfits for the other to wear to the events. You had even caught a peek at him shirtless a few times during that process, which was a very welcome surprise.

“I can’t believe it’s already 3am,” Saeyoung whispered. You were both currently laying in bed, each holding their phone with one hand, your head being popped up by the other. “You’re so easy to talk to.”

“You are also,” you admitted, moving your hair out of your eyes. “I think I should probably get some sleep now.”

“You should, you’ll need that beauty rest for the wedding.” Saeyoung teased, sticking out his tongue at you.

“Says you! You look like you haven't slept in days!” You watched as he closed his eyes, his breathing starting to slow. “Goodnight, Saeyoung.”

Sleepily opening one eye towards you, he sent you a crooked grin. “Goodnight, beautiful MC.”

-

The wedding day was approaching fast and Saeyoung was a nervous mess. Throughout the week of getting to know MC, he had quickly come to enjoy her silly little texts she would send during the day and the nightly phone calls that went into the early morning that they spent planning their fake relationship and just learning about each other.

Saeyoung was curious about MC. She was quick to laugh at his jokes and was even speedier at supplying her own remark back. She would be the perfect date to Yoosung and Wenyn’s wedding, she was so perfectly in sync with him that no one would be able to suspect that they haven’t been together for the last six months and he only hoped she thought the same about him.

“Hello? Saeyoung?” Her voice brought the redhead out of his thoughts and he zeroed back in on what she was saying. “As I was saying, give me a run down on your friends that I’ll meet at this wedding! I’m gonna need to be on my A game if I want them to like me.” Saeyoung smiled at the bright girl in front of him, so eager to please his friends and set in on telling her about his friends and their significant others

-

“Your chariot awaits, m’lady!” You opened the door to your apartment to find Saeyoung standing there, a corsage in his hand and a goofy smile on his face.

“Why thank you, my good sir.” You replied before accepting his outstretched hand. “I got you a pink boutonniere to match your tie and my nails, I hope that’s okay.”

“I’ve never gotten one of those before so the fact that you even got me one makes it more than okay.” Saeyoung answered honestly before leading you to a red sports car sitting out front. “Figured we’d arrive in style.”

“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you had a nice car!” You exclaimed, getting in the passenger seat, careful not to wrinkle your dress. “What is it you do for work again?”

“This and that,” he answered nonchalantly before throwing you a grin and putting the car in drive. “Now, are we ready to go?”

“I was born ready, fake boyfriend.” Saeyoung laughed at that before turning on the radio. The beginning of the car ride was spent with you and him quizzing each other on your fake relationship but by the end, you both were belting along to the loud music blaring through the speakers.

“At last we’ve arrived!” Saeyoung exclaimed before getting out of the car. “You stay there, I’m going to come open the door for you and then put this corsage on your wrist.” Sitting still, a smile played on your lips as you watched the lanky man run around to your side of the car and open the door for you. “Wrist please,” silently holding out your left arm to him, he gently gripped your hand, thumb rubbing a soothing pattern for a second before letting go to slip the band on your wrist. “There, it looks good! Matches your dress and everything!” It did, although it wasn’t what you would have picked out for yourself. The corsage was adorned with deep green and white flowers and light pink and silver ribbon woven throughout. It went well with your black and green dress, and it was from Saeyoung which was the most important part.

“Okay, now let me put this boutonniere on your jacket.” You opened the case before pulling out the simple pink rose with white ribbon wrapped around it. “These get a little tricky to put on, so hold still.” You warned, hand poised with one of the needles ready to pin the flower to his jacket. As you were about to pin it, Saeyoung shifted his weight from one hip to the other and you pricked yourself, blood immediately blooming at the small wound. “Ouch!”

“Oh man, I’m so sorry MC!” Saeyoung replied, gently grabbing your hang before bringing the finger up to his mouth and gently sucking on the wound to clean it of blood. You watched him, open mouthed and he immediately dropped your hand, face flushing red. “I have no clue why I just did that.”

“MC?” You heard your name being called and you turned to find Jaehee and Cordelia making their way over to you and your date, Cordelia’s arm was wrapped around one of Jaehee’s, both of them with confused smiles on your faces. “I didn’t know you and Saeyoung knew each other?”

You glanced nervously at the boy standing next to you before clearing your throat. “Yes, Saeyoung and I have been dating for six months now.”

Jaehee sent a confused look your way. “What are you talking about? Just last week you were in the shop complaining about not having a date to a family function. I recommended trying my friends app and…” her speech slowed down before she stopped completely, realization dawning on her face. “Oh! I see, you downloaded Saeyoung’s app and you two are now pretending you’re in a relationship.” “Don’t worry!” Cordelia’s bright smile was a welcome change after the awkward encounter. “Your secret is safe with us! Have a nice time guys, we’ll see you inside.” Jaehee bowed her head to you both before reconnecting her hand with her partners, both of them whispering quietly to each other as they walked inside the venue the wedding was being held in.

“Jaehee said I downloaded your app?” You turned to pin the flower again and this time he let you step closer. You could feel Saeyoung’s breath disturbing some stray strands of your hair as you adjusted the flower so it was sitting straight on his jackets lapel.

“Surprise?” Saeyoung’s face was contorted into an awkward sheepish smile and you rolled your eyes with him. “I didn’t want you to think I, like, hacked your list to put me on there because I needed a date. The algorithm naturally matched us, I had nothing to do with it. I created the app and then answered the questions same as you and every one else who’s using it.”

“I think that’s really impressive, Saeyoung. And it’s another fact that I know about you - you create apps - that we can sell to make our relationship seem real.” You found yourself getting lost in his eyes. Normally when you video chatted with him, he was wearing glasses  but today he must have been wearing contacts. His honey colored eyes portrayed his every emotion, and it would have been easy to spend all day looking into them.

“Umm… we should probably head in.” Saeyoung suggested, holding out his hand for you to intwine your fingers with him. “Ready, darling?”

“Yes sweetie,” you giggled, letting him lead you into the venue. When you walked in, an impeccably dressed man with long silver hair waived you both over.

“Saeyoung!  We were starting to worry that you wouldn’t show up. And you must be MC! So nice to meet you, I’m Zen and this is my girlfriend, Briar.” Zen gestured to the girl sitting next to him and you smiled at them both.

“Nice to meet you both, I’ve heard lots about you guys.” You replied, Saeyoung nervously  squeezing your hand as he watched Zen’s face. Zen was the tough one to trick; he was an actor so it was super easy to tell when others were bluffing around him.

“All good things, I hope?” Zen looked at you curiously and you flushed before turning teasingly to Saeyoung.

“Mostly,” Saeyoung sent you a small smile and you smiled back before finishing your sentence. “You know Saeyoung, he has to throw some weird facts in about everyone. He was telling me about the time he sent a picture of him dressed as a maid and you-”

“Okay! I get it, he’s an annoying jerk who promised not to tell that to anyone.” Zen’s face dropped into a pout and you internally ‘aww-ed’ when Briar leaned over to kiss his bottom lip that was sticking out.

Soon after, the service started which made it hard to talk to anyone. As Yoosung was saying his vows, you looked over to find Saeyoung swiping away at a tear that had filled his eyes and you reached over and reattached your hands, squeezing gently. “You okay?” You whispered.

“Yeah,” he whispered back, leaning his head on your shoulder. “I’ll tell you more later but I never expected to be friends with these people for this long, let alone see my best friend get married. Just kinda hit me all at once.” You didn’t respond, opting to rest your head on top of his and you both stayed like that, your breathing in sync with each other for the rest of the ceremony.

“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I think that was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.” Zen remarked once Yoosung and Wenyn had walked out of the venue as man and wife. “It’s time to head over to the reception.”

You and Saeyoung took your time walking over to the reception hall, your hands still connected and a comfortable silence settling over the both of you. “What did you mean earlier?”

Saeyoung stopped and pulled you to a small bench, both of you sitting down, your thighs pressed together. “When I met this group of people, I was working for a secret agency as a hacker. I couldn’t make friends then and when I did, I’d have to change my identity eventually and never talk to them again. With the help from Jumin, I was able to successfully get out and start over after deleting my data and information from their systems.” Saeyoung turned his body slightly to face  you and you could see how hard this was for him. His lip was trembling  and he had a deep sadness etched in his eyes that was replacing the normally playful gleam. “That’s also a reason why I never met anyone romantically, I didn’t want them to get to close and then have to hurt them in the long run.”

“But you don’t have to hide anymore, you can be with someone now.” You pointed out and Saeyoung smiled sadly. “Have you thought that maybe…” you trailed off, shaking your head almost like you were physically trying to rid yourself of the thought. “Never mind.”

“You can ask me if you want to,” Saeyoung encouraged, his smile causing your heart to stutter for a moment before it permanently picked up speed. You swallowed hard and wiped your sweaty hands on your skirt before smoothing it out, playing with the hem to avoid meeting the eyes that you continuously find yourself lost in.

“Just hypothetically… do you think you’ve already met the person you could be with romantically?” Your heartbeat was in your ears and you could barely hear his response after you turned to look him in the eyes. Those damn eyes. They were already hard to resist but when he was looking at you like you were the only person in the world and you were sitting so close to him that you could feel his breath on your nose, those were the only things in the world you could look at in that moment; everything else in the world had faded dim behind those golden eyes.

“MC…” Saeyoung’s hand came up to gently push your bangs from your eyes and when he did so, his fingers lightly brushed your forehead before his palm rested on your cheek. “I…” he inched closer to you and you could feel his breath against your lips. Not wanting to waste a moment more not kissing Saeyoung, you met him the rest of the way. The kiss was awkward and clumsy and your teeth clashed quite a few times - it was his first kiss after all - but everything about it in that moment was just so Saeyoung and it had you yearning for more. Saeyoung’s other arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you up so you were straddling him, your knees resting on either side of his legs on the bench, feet dangling off. Once he had pulled you closer, his tongue quickly darted out in search of yours and when you eagerly met his with your own, he moaned softly, sending a shiver down your spine. Pulling away once, he softly pecked your lips again before helping you off his lap. “Well that was…” you giggled as he adjusted his pants, hands covering his crotch, and waited for him to speak. “That was-”

“A sight for sore eyes?” A black haired man cut off Saeyoung and you watched as his cheeks flushed red at the sight of the older man. “I wasn’t aware this was a soft-core sex warehouse, I thought it was a wedding reception.”

“Um, Jumin… this is my girlfriend, MC. Darling, you remember me telling you about Jumin?” You immediately straightened up where you were sitting, eager to make a good impression on another one of Saeyoung’s friends.

“Yes, I do. Saeyoung told me that you helped him get out of a bit of a sticky situation. You seem like a very good man to have done that for him, and without you I never would have met him. So, thank you. And you must be Luce?” You directed your attention to the small redheaded girl standing side by side with Jumin.

She nodded her head and Jumin cleared his throat. It was crystal clear that when he was in a room, he naturally commanded the attention of everyone around him and you found yourself shrinking into Saeyoung’s side as he fixed his stare on you. “We should be heading in, yes? We wouldn’t want the bride and groom to think we’re all being rude.”

Once Jumin and his wife walked inside, you buried your head in Saeyoung’s chest, face blaring red in shame. “That was mortifying!”

You could feel his laugh vibrate through his chest as he cupped the back of your head holding you to him. “At least now they have no reason to doubt us!”

Pulling away from him you frowned before standing up. “We should head on in,”

“We should,” Saeyoung agreed, linking your fingers together. You turned to go and as you did, he pulled you back to him, sweetly connecting your lips once more. As your chest collided with his, you let out a ‘hmph’ sound that caused the redhead to smile and softly nip at your lip. “I couldn’t help myself, you’re so cute.”

“So are you,” you admitted and he laughed before letting you lead him into the wedding reception.

The reception was already filled with dancing, drinking, and all other kinds of celebrating when you and Saeyoung finally made it inside the room and when Yoosung and Saeyoung made eye contact, the blond quickly made his way over to you both.

Without saying anything, Saeyoung wrapped his arms tightly around Yoosung’s shoulders and you saw his amethyst eyes widen in shock before closing as he let out a deep sigh, wrapping his arms tightly around his best friends waist. You looked away from the pair, letting them have their moment, and made eye contact with Jaehee who quickly made her way over to you.

“It seems you and Saeyoung are getting along well?” She nudge your side and sent a wink your way, causing your face to flush as you look at the ground. “I mean, I’m glad it’s you he ended up bringing, instead of a complete stranger.”

“I’m starting to think you’re right,” you admitted, glancing at Saeyoung and when your eyes met he smiled and threw a cheeky wink at you before excusing himself from his conversation and crossing the room to you, quickly wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.

“Jaehee, what are you and my gorgeous girlfriend of six months up to?” You felt Saeyoung pull you closer and you immediately relaxed in his arms, moving side to side to the beat of the music.

Jaehee narrowed her eyes at him and sighed, pushing a piece of her hair out of the way. “You’re really subtle at this,” she remarked sarcastically. “Anyway, I should be getting back. I’ll catch up with you both before I leave.” You watched as she wandered back over to her girlfriend and taking her hand, spinning her around.

Turning in Saeyoung’s arms, he tightened his grip on your waist as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “Dance with me”

“I don’t dance.” His voice was low and husky as apposed to his normal higher voice with a teasing lilt, something that sent a shock straight to your stomach and caused butterflies to permanently reside there.

“Please,” you begged, tugging on an unruly lock of hair that was sticking out from the back of his head. “For me?”

Saeyoung brought his lips up to your ear, brushing them against it as he spoke. “Everyone will be looking at you if I take you on that dance floor. I want you for myself. Next time, I won’t be able to handle myself if you wear a skirt that short, you’re driving me crazy.” That last word was barely a whisper but it left you a mess on your insides, your legs felt like jelly.

“I’m yours, if you’ll have me.” You whispered back and before you could say anything else, his lips connected with yours for the third time that night.

“Aw, look at these two love birds.” Zen teased as you both broke apart. “Do we hear more wedding bells in the future?”

You and Saeyoung shared a look before bursting out laughing. No one but Jaehee, Cordelia and Yoosung understood why something like that was funny, but they all looked on at the both of you with small smiles playing on their lips - they were just glad Saeyoung was happy.

After the reception, Saeyoung and you were in his car, his hand resting possessively on your thigh and when he pulled up to your apartment building, he turned to you. “MC,”

“Saeyoung.” You replied, reaching out to brush some hair from his eyes. “I don’t want to go inside. That means leaving you.”

“I’ll see you the same time next week.” He replied, a faraway look in his eyes. “I can’t wait to be your fake boyfriend again.”

“I can’t wait either,” you agreed and leaned in to rest your forehead on his for a moment before getting out of the car.

“Hey, wait!” You turned around and watched as Saeyoung got out of his car, walking up to you and cupping your face. “I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend next week.”

“You don't? Well, I was under the impression that we were getting along well but...” The end of your sentence fell off as your brows furrowed in confusion and he was quick to retrace what he said.

“No, not like that! I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend because I want to be your real boyfriend. I know it seems sudden, but it’s not really! We talked for a week before this and I enjoy your company and people say that when you know, you know. And I know. You’re the one for me, right now in this second.” His eyes were pleading with you and your heart swelled as you listened to the words coming out of his mouth.

“Would you be interested in being my real boyfriend?” You asked, a small smile playing on your lips as you repeated the words he asked you a week ago, only this time you were asking for real.

“Only if you’re interested in being my real girlfriend!” Saeyoung replied, before his lips delicately brushed yours, just long enough that he could inhale your breath and leave your heart beating in your chest.

“Text me when you get home, I want to make sure you made it safe.” You said after he had pulled away to study your face, eyes brimming with tears. “Hey, what’s going on?” You cupped Saeyoung’s cheek and he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes and letting a tear roll down to his chin.

“No one’s ever said that to me before,” he replied, eyes opening and looking at you intently. “It feels nice to have someone care like that.”

“Well get used to it mister,” your thumb brushed under his eyes, catching another tear before it could fall. “I’m gonna care the heck out of you.”

Saeyoung laughed and you found yourself laughing with him, eyes welling with tears as well, and when he noticed you were both crying tears of joy, he laughed harder, causing you to as well. “I should get going, let you sleep.”

“I don’t want to say goodbye,” you whispered, moving to wrap your arms around his waist. “I just said hello.”

“It’s not a goodbye.” Saeyoung promised, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “I promise, it’s a see you soon. And I’ll text you when I get home safely.”

You looked up at him to find you already looking at you. Saeyoung was looking at you like he couldn’t believe you were real, almost like you were part of a dream and every moment he was expecting to wake up. “You better,” you jokingly threatened before standing on your tip toes to press one last sweet kiss to his lips.

After watching him drive off, you followed the steps up to your apartment and hopped in the shower, checking your phone after you had dried off. Two notifications had popped up in the time you were away from your phone.

First checking the message from Saeyoung, a smile danced across your lips as you read it: Just got home. sweet dreams. I know I’ll dream of seeing you again.

You quickly replied that you were glad he made it back and you’d dream of him as well before you checked the second notification from Wedding Bells. It was a message from someone on your list of 10 people and you exited out of it before deleting the app. There was no need for it anymore; you had someone to bring to weddings and family functions now.

A week later when you introduced your family to your boyfriend Saeyoung, you proudly showed off your relationship with him, eager to display to your family how amazing he is. He did well too, got along with your younger cousins and helped your mom cook dinner and by the end of the night, everyone couldn’t wait to make plans to see the both of you again. Saeyoung had not only wormed his way into your heart, but the rest of your family’s as well.

“I think they liked me,” Saeyoung joked once you guys had left your parents house. You both were back at your apartment, him holding you in his arms as you both lounged on the couch.

“Are you kidding me?” You laughed, moving your head to press a kiss to his jawline. “They loved you. I haven’t seen my family that enthusiastic about anything related to me since I graduated college. I’ll have to keep you around purely for that fact.”

“I’m sorry I don’t have a huge family for you to meet.” Saeyoung’s voice drooped and you shook your head smiling at him.

“What are you talking about? I met your family at Yoosung’s wedding. Like it or not, but those people love you. Family isn’t blood, it’s the people who love you unconditionally. And there’s a whole bunch of them for you specifically.” You had turned so you were facing him. “Everyone who I met that day cares so deeply about you, never for one second think that you don’t have a family.”

“What would I do without you?” Saeyoung’s forehead came to rest against yours and you laughed, ruffling his hair.

“Perish, probably.”

“I care for you more than I probably should.” He admitted, honey eyes locked on your own.

“I don’t know about that.” You responded. “I care for you a lot too.”

Saeyoung leaned in to gently brush his lips against your own and he pulled back, a goofy grin on his face. “Am I the smartest person in the world for creating that app, or what?”

“Or what.” Grinning back at him, you squealed as his fingers prodded your side, hitting a ticklish spot. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Your laughter rang out in your quiet apartment and Saeyoung wanted to record that sound to have it play whenever he forgot how beautiful your laugh was. “I’m extremely grateful that Jaehee recommended me the app that you made that resulted in me meeting you.”

Saeyoung didn’t respond, instead opting to hold you close and pull you onto his lap before both of you settling back down. He played with your hair as your eyes started drooping and once your soft snores filled the room, his eyes closed as well, content to fall asleep holding you.

[sayonarasanity]

Reverberation

Summary: Levi’s grey eyes watched her seriously, and with caution. He was giving her all his attention, focused on the words that were about to leave her mouth. Hanji thought that was the actual reason why they were so close. Because when no one cared to hear a word from her Levi listened to her telling stories of gods and goddesses, heroes and villains, ancient people and ancient folks, tales of love and tales of hatred. When no one bothered seeing her colours, Levi sat down in front of her and let her paint everything she ever wanted.

Chapters: 2/?

link to AO3 

link to second chapter

In short a Levihan Childhood Friends AU in which I plan to enjoy using quotes from Shakespeare a lot if I make it that far that is. 

The boy sits on top of the rooftop.  

Hanji wonders why she is so fascinated by the view of a boy about her age. All he does is watching above and there is not even a token of emotion written on his face. He looks like he is reading a book in which he is not a bit interested, yet the mere fact that he is holding pages in his palms is enough for him.

She hasn’t seen anyone who has spared just a few minutes of their precious time to watch the sky, through her eleven years of a lifetime that is. Just like she hasn’t seen anyone going crazy when they find out that there was a frog in Indonesia which had no lungs, so it breathed entirely through its skin. Oh, it was so very exciting and bewitching and she had barely slept dreaming about it. Hanji would die to see that frog. She had begged her parents for about a week for them to take her to Indonesia. Mommy, mommy, please! I want to go there. I need to see that frog. It is breathing through its skin mom. How fascinating is that? Hanji, darling you know you can’t. You have school. I don’t have school in the summer! But Indonesia is so far away honey. It on the other side of the world. Oh, oh! That’s even better. I want to go to the other side of the world! Mommy please, please!

Too bad her efforts had given no fruit. She hasn’t given up on her dream yet, though. She just had to postpone it for a little while.

She approaches the boy cautiously. Because maybe this is his area and it is her first time here, so she doesn’t want to be seen as an invader. She had been walking around the town aimlessly when she came across this abandoned building. Its construction is uncompleted, there are no windows and doors, and the orange bricks on the walls are uncovered, free of paint. Hanji knew that sneaking into a hollow, and a relatively eery building was sort of perilous, but it was also thrilling. It had made her feel like she was a member of the Paul Street Boys. Although the setting was kind of distinct and she was alone. But it had never stopped her from discovering. And when she had climbed the concrete, grey stairs she had found the mystery boy here.

There is the not-quite-unfortunate fact that she cannot get along well with boys. They are rude, and filthy and egoistic. They walk around like they are the reincarnations of Achilles like no one is good enough for them. They are no sons of gods or goddesses. How pathetic. But she senses that there is something different with this one. Because he watches the sky, and the stars stare down at him. Hanji feels like she is observing a painting or reading Percy Jackson for the first time. It causes her nerves to stand, her insides to shake and she knows she cannot hold herself back. A step away from the rabbit hole, she imagines and feels like this is Wonderland and she is fool but also curious enough to fall down.

“Hi!” She twitters suddenly.

The boy doesn’t seem surprised or taken aback at hearing someone talking to him out of the blue. Maybe he had already known that Hanji was here. It only makes him more intriguing and Hanji hardly stops herself from bouncing on her feet. For a moment he observes her. His eyes are the colour of the moon, argent but they also have a touch of blue. Not too light but not too dark either. Closer to the sky when the night just begins to settle down. More like it is right now.

“Hey,” he says, dryly.

No rejection. That’s a good start.

“May I sit?”

The boy merely shrugs then turns his gaze back at the sky. Hanji takes it as a positive reaction and sits down next to him, carefully putting some distance away between herself and the boy. She opts to watch the view spread out before her first. This is a partially remote area of the town. The buildings are disorderly, and the streets do not seem fairly clean. Hanji wants to travel her hand on top of the buildings to feel the ups and downs of the rooftops on her palm. The image makes her giggle to herself. Ah, how nice it would be, wouldn’t it? Too bad it was impossible.

She feels the boy giving her a side glance, but he makes no remarks.

“Are you counting the stars?” She asks as she tilts her head back to watch them. There aren’t so many yet, but it would be hard to keep track of the numbers.

“No,” he replies. Curt and clear. He is not the one to talk, is he? Hanji muses inside.

“My grandmother used to say that it would make calluses to appear on your skin. Have you heard about it as well? I think it is a superstition though—”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” the boy interrupts. That is the first time he has used more than a word! Success. Good for you, Hanji. She pats her shoulder in her head proudly.

Hanji opens her mouth to respond but he beats her to it. “You can’t count infinity,” he says. “It is a waste of time.”

Hanji inhales.  

At this point, she is so near the edge to burst with her bubbling excitement that she is sure he feels it too. Her head spins as she stares at his side profile. He makes her feel like she is on a carousel. Everything about him makes her dizzy as if he is one of those books on her father’s library which she cannot reach and cannot understand even if she does. He doesn’t look at her. He has an undercut, she notices, dark hair moving in harmony with the wind. His attire is clean, neat and tidy. His face has the smooth lines of a child but there is a lining of maturity underneath them. And the way he holds himself, upright but also at ease. Nothing about him is fake, superficial or ordinary.

“What’s your name?” She asks as a grin spreads on her lips uncontrollably.

He moves his sharp eyes to her at last and he travels his gaze around her face. It is so hard to read anything from his features. Like looking at the blurry surface of a mirror and trying to figure out the lines of the face in it. And she fears that he won’t answer. Was he annoyed with her? But she hasn’t even reached the peak of her usual talkativeness, yet.

“It’s Levi.”

She nearly gasps for she had been very close to convincing herself that the boy had disliked her very much. Levi. It is a nice name, and it suits his personality somehow. Despite the fact that she had only known him for what? Five minutes? Maybe even less than that. But Hanji can tell.

“I’m Hanji,” she says her name back even though he hasn’t asked. Slowly put one Lego on top of it the other. Bring them all together and there, you have a castle. “Say, Levi, would you like to learn more about the sky?”

The boy doesn’t answer with words. He looks back above and shrugs.

But that’s more than enough for her.

now

Hanji’s phone rings in the middle of an important meeting.

Frankly, it is not that big of a problem. It happens to everyone every now and then. And her phone doesn’t even ring with a melody, it merely vibrates on the wooden table. Though it does make a hell of a lot of noise. Yet, the only way to overcome the situation is to simply reach out and silence it in a cold-blooded way, like nothing ever happened. That she does, without a nuisance.

The actual problem here is the name on the screen of her phone, and the fact that her hand was trembling as she pressed the button. Suddenly the air becomes too heavy, too hot and the room too narrow to fit inside. She distinctively feels Mr Jaeger’s piercing gaze from across the table. It is always hard to hide subtle changes of behaviour from a man as sharp as him. But Hanji is a professional and there is no way she can allow a slight disturbance to avoid her from focusing on her job. She imagines herself flicking her fingers aggressively as if to wake herself up from a deep slumber like she is buried deep in thick fog. Concentrate.

The blurry whiteness disappears gradually, her vision becomes clear and the deadlock in her ears leaves. But the name remains on her screen even after the ringing stops and she has to grip her pen tight enough to make the shivers go away.

-

The next time her phone rings there are several minutes to her lunch break. She shifts her attention from her computer screen to the phone and she just stares at the name, as if she looks long enough the letters will change or they will disappear, or she will wake up from this dreary sleep.

None of those happens, the machine keeps ringing on her desk, her heart slams against her ribcage, and her hands tremble yet again as she types numbers on her keyboard.

The vibrations cease after a while, but the cramps in her stomach don’t.

-

During her lunch break, Hanji goes out to the terrace for some fresh air. It is early spring; the weather is not quite cold but it’s somewhat chilly. The wind which blows occasionally disperses her hair as she leans her elbows on the railing. The terrace is high up on the building. She can easily watch the white, mushy clouds on the smooth, blue sky. Whether it is funny or tragic she cannot decide, that after all those years whenever she looks up at the sky, she still thinks about him.

“Yo, Hanji.” Zeke Jeager comes to stand next to her putting a cigarette on his mouth and using his Zippo to light it.

“Good afternoon, Mr Jeager,” Hanji greets, smiling in return as the man takes a deep breath from his smoke. His dark, yellow hair is untidy with the wind, and his glasses reflect the midday sun.

“Just call me Zeke when we are alone,” he says and shakes the ashes of the cigarette with his index finger causing them to fall from the railing. “I hate formalities.”

“But you are my very superior,” Hanji replies with amusement.

The corners of the man’s lips curl upwards when he takes another breath from his smoke. “I don’t care. You are almost as smart as me if not more.” He sends her a playful stare as he blows the smoke and Hanji laughs, but the act makes her stomach curl onto itself. Cheerfulness is the last thing she feels at the moment.

“You seem a little bit… different,” Zeke comments, just like Hanji predicted. Nothing escapes him. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Hanji lies easily. She doesn’t feel like talking about it. She doesn’t even feel like thinking about it. It makes her uneasy, and it fills her with apprehension and distress whenever the name on the phone screen comes before her eyes. She shakes her head. She needs to convince herself first. “It’s nothing.”

“Hmm,” Zeke mutters thoughtfully. He doesn’t believe her and it’s not like she expected him to. “I mean, I won’t say no if you ever need a drink,” he shrugs, and the gest reminds her of him so much that she feels a gulp shaping in her throat.

“Are you possibly flirting with me?” Hanji asks playfully, with a need to distract her mind from the wide field of dreary thoughts and memories.

“I don’t know. Is it working?” Zeke plays along and Hanji laughs again, this time more genuinely. “But I’m your very superior, so I guess not.”

“Yeah,” she says, her smile still evident on her lips. “Don’t take it personally.”

Zeke shakes his head as he puts the smoke between his lips again. He has a nice profile. A fine line of a bearded jaw, sharp cheekbones, soft-looking, bushy hair, pretty nose and a pair of nice lips. Eyes are a light blue mixed with green. A complete opposite, Hanji notices.

“Whatever it is,” Zeke continues after blowing out the white smoke. “It’s obvious that it affects you but don’t let it affect your work.”

“Of course,” Hanji nods.

“Hanji!” A female voice cuts in their conversation. Hanji turns around to see it’s Pieck. She waves at her from the door. “What are you doing here? Let’s go have lunch!”

“Yo, Pieck-chan,” Zeke waves at her cheerfully, grinning wide as they both walk up to where she is. “How are you?”

“Hungry,” Pieck replies, then turns to Hanji. “Come on. I’ve been looking for you.”

“Sorry,” Hanji apologizes. They always have lunch together with Pieck, but with her mind a muddle of emotions she had forgotten all about it.

“See you later then ladies,” Zeke, bids them goodbye and leaves then they both start to walk in the direction of the cafeteria.

“Is he bothering you?” Pieck asks as soon as Zeke is out of their hearing zone. “I can talk to him if he does. He is not as tough as he looks, and I have the material in my hand to sabotage him.”

Hanji laughs heartily for the first time that day. Pieck and Zeke are old friends, and she uses it every chance she gets. “There is no need for that. We were just talking but thank you.”

“Talking about what?” Hanji feels Pieck observing her face, looking for a hint. “Did he also realize that your mood is kind of sour today?”

Hanji’s smile freezes on her face. She hadn’t been as subtle as she thought she had as it seems. She opens her mouth to object, to array excuses like I’m just tired or couldn’t sleep well and change the subject.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Pieck assures, bumping her shoulder lightly to hers. “It’s just unusual to see you like this.”

“Right,” Hanji adjusts her glasses and pushes herself for a slight movement on her lips. Upwards. “There is nothing to worry about.”

Her dark eyes travel around her face, searching Hanji’s gaze and she tries hard not to look away. Pieck is suspicious and Hanji knows she is not quite convinced when she says, “Okay.” But she doesn’t press upon the matter either. “I’ll be here if you want to talk about it.”

“I know,” Hanji smiles, genuinely this time. “Thank you, Pieck.”

-

Hanji watches her reflection in the mirror and sees the reason why everyone could tell that she had been in low spirits today.

“This shouldn’t have affected me that much,” she mutters and splashes cold, icy water on her face. Her glasses rest next to the sink, the hair on the side of her face and the tips of her forehead gets wet. Her soul feels heavy to carry, her heart uneasy and her stomach like it’s wrapped with thousands of sharp thorns.

Inside her head, there is an earthquake. It rumbles, rocks and causes the old shelves stuffed with dusty memories to be dishevelled all around. Yellow paged books lie open on the ground. It has been so long since she had let herself read a word from them. Now they force her to read the tale from the very beginning. And it doesn’t help that she already knows them all by heart.

“The temperature at the sun’s core is about 27 million degrees Fahrenheit,” she whispers, gripping the edge of the cold, white marble.

“The Moon’s distance from Earth is about 240.000 miles.

The globular cluster NGC 6397 is almost as old as the universe itself.

Mercury is the fastest planet,” she continues with quick whispers. “Daytime Temperatures can reach 439 degrees Celsius and drop to -180 degrees Celsius at night.

Ceres takes 1.682 Earth days, or 4.6 Earth years, to make one trip around the sun.

Mars is the fourth planet from the Sun at an average distance of about 228 million km or 1.52 AU.”

Hanji closes her eyes and imagines the space. Infinite, black and yet aglow with suns, stars and moons—galaxies, clusters and planets.

The worn pages of the books rustle in her head. A distraction, a nuisance that came out of nowhere. Why? She thinks for the nth time that day. Why is he calling me now? After all those years, why now?

“This cannot be ill, cannot be good” she murmurs.

Then laughs to herself. Quoting Shakespeare again? he belittles her in her mind.

She shakes her head as if to erase his ghost from her mind. “Cannot be good,” she repeats. But she has never run for no reason, she has never let life win over without girding herself with arms. She has never been coward enough to hide.

It might be nothing. Maybe a simple call for a quick hello. Five minutes of conversation would do her no harm. It might be nothing, but it might be something too. There is only one way to figure it out.

She straightens, puts on her glasses and adjusts her clothes. Blinks her eyes a few times until she makes sure they are not blank as an empty, grey wall. Until the fire inside that is close to dying out, flare up again. After that, she lifts her hands to either side of her face and slaps her cheeks, “Okay,” she says, nodding at herself in the mirror.

Then turns around on her heels and walks out of the door.

-

He calls again when she is out of work and waiting for a bus at the stop.

She is tranquil, somehow, as she looks at the screen. Maybe it’s because she has made her mind earlier today that if he is to call again, she would answer this time. And she does.

“Hey,” she greets.

“Hey, Hanji.” His voice is rough and coarse. It sounds older than she has last heard him. “What’s up?”

“I’m fine,” Hanji swings a leg absentmindedly. “How about you, Kenny?”

“’m fine too,” Kenny replies. She tries to imagine him with long, dark hair and a smug grin on his face. Although the years had rubbed out the picture of the man she has known it is easier than she had expected.

“Sorry, I couldn’t answer earlier,” Hanji says, half-lie, half-sincere. “I was busy at work.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it, kid,” Kenny slides over and Hanji smiles slightly at the way he calls her. “I thought you’d be busy. But, eh, you see… I had to… call you,” he sighs. “Didn’t know who else to call.”

“Why?” She starts to feel the thorns again. Her body tenses involuntarily. A car sweeps by scattering her hair and clothes. “What’s wrong? Is he—"

Kenny sighs again and she hears his breath tremble. Above, the stars are hidden behind the grey, mobile clouds. The moon is a thin crescent. Strangers pass by, a bus stops, takes a few passengers and carries on. A breeze blows and the leaves rustle.

And Hanji feels like she is eleven again, watching the stars with a boy she barely knows.

You can’t count infinity, he had said. It is a waste of time.

They are no longer there.

“Kuchel,” Kenny begins. Cannot be good, Hanji thinks again and closes her eyes as he goes on with the dreadful news she had so feared to hear. “She is dead.”

--

The girl has stardust in her eyes.

Her hair is messy, and her clothes are dirty with mud and dust. She wears round glasses and when she smiles, he sees one of her upper teeth is slightly twisted.

And she reminds him of the first time he had seen a shooting star.

Do you want to learn more about the sky? The girl asks. Does he? He had never thought about it. He merely likes the experience of watching it while sitting or lying on his back with his arms under his head and a leg over the other in this abandoned, derelict building. It eases his mind when he is overwhelmed with school or family or friends or humans in general. He had most liked the fact that he had been alone all this time which was the actual purpose of this place anyway.

But the girl has stardust in her eyes, and she is like that shooting star, and she holds the moon in her hands.

If she reminds him that much of the sky maybe she would make him feel like he is watching it too, he thinks as he looks back above and shrugs.

Cannot be ill.

[troywalters658]

9 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MOBILE DEVICES SECURE WHILE TRAVELING

From coffee shops to planes, trains, and cruise ships, we've become accustomed to having ready access to the Internet just about anywhere. The problem is, it's easy to forget how vulnerable that makes us to security threats.

I learned this the hard way recently when traveling from San Jose to Tampa, passing through four cities along the way. Even though I'm well aware of the potential for others to hack into my devices, I'd never had any problems previously. Unfortunately, there's always a first time: When I got back home, Facebook alerted me to some suspicious activity. I had been "Firesheep'd"!

Apparently someone in Chicago (using Firefox and a Windows PC) had logged into my Facebook account via Firesheep, a Firefox extension that can intercept unencrypted cookies from certain Websites on any open Wi-Fi network, making it possible to steal login credentials for sites like Facebook and Twitter, or even access your e-mail.

Think it can't happen to you? Think again. Fortunately, a combination of plain old common sense and some technology can protect your devices--quickly and fairly easily.

HOW YOUR GADGETS MAY BE VULNERABLE

Whether you're traveling with a laptop, netbook, smartphone, iPad, or all of the above, the risks and defenses against them are basically the same, according to Joe Nocera, an information security expert and a principal with PricewaterhouseCoopers. "Many of the security concerns that people think about when they think about their personal computers are applicable in the mobile world." As mobile devices become more sophisticated, they lend themselves to the same types of access to e-mail, passwords, and other secure information that PCs have done in the past.

Because today's devices are so much more powerful and can hold so much more information than ever before, the risks are increasing, says Martin Hack, information security expert and executive vice president of NCP Engineering, a software company that helps businesses with their secure remote access systems. Add to that our tendency to carry both personal and business information around with us on the same device, and our mobile devices have never looked so appealing to hackers, he says.

As specific mobile devices become more popular, they become more of a target for hackers. "Five years ago, the vulnerabilities were Microsoft-based and targeting PCs. Apple tended not to be targeted so often," says Nocera. "But, in the last year and a half or so, we're seeing a shift. More and more often we're seeing either Android- or iPhone-based vulnerabilities being targeted. We predict that by 2014 you'll see those types of vulnerabilities being the most targeted as more and more users go to those mobile devices."

The good news is it's not difficult or even expensive to protect your devices and the information on them. The fixes are simple. The problem, stated quite eloquently in an old Pogo comic strip, is: "We have met the enemy and he is us."

9 TIPS FOR KEEPING YOUR MOBILE DEVICES SECURE 1. Make sure your software is up-to-date. The first line of defense, says Nocera, is making sure that all your software is up-to-date. "Almost every release of software patches a number of security vulnerabilities that are out there," he says. Before every trip, or at least every few weeks, it's a good idea to check the manufacturer's Web site (or search Google) to see if a software or firmware update is available. If there's a new one, download it, unless there's a massive firestorm of negative reviews from early adopters.

2. Employ strong passwords. "Be sure to use some combination of letters, numbers and/or special characters of 8 characters or more," says Jeremy Miller, director of operations for Kroll Fraud Solutions. "Avoid using dictionary words. Instead, [use] acronyms for things like favorite songs, restaurants or other items known only to you. And change the password frequently--at least once every six months." If you're just not feeling clever enough to create your own passwords, programs like RoboForm will do it for you.

3. Don't mess with the security settings. Nocera notes that most of the default browser settings in Android, iPhone, and Blackberry phones are fairly secure out of the box. "I recommend not going in to change browser security settings--they're pretty good already," he says.

4. Avoid unencrypted public wireless networks. Such Wi-Fi networks require no authentication or password to log into, so anyone can access them--including the bad guys. In some cases, bad guys set up an open network to snare unsuspecting people. Encrypted networks, on the other hand, are those that require an ID or password for access--you'll find such networks at many hotels and coffee shops that offer Wi-Fi services. These networks have two different types of security--WEP (wired equivalent privacy) and WPA (Wi-Fi protected access); the second is most secure. Even encrypted networks, though, have risks--it's possible for bad guys to gain access to encrypted networks at a hotel or café, for instance, so be cautious about the sorts of things you do on such networks.

Besides avoiding connecting to unencrypted networks, turn off Wi-Fi when you're not using it. This will prevent you from automatically connecting to networks (and it will extend your device's battery life).

5. Paying to access a Wi-Fi network doesn't mean it's secure. Access fees do not equal security. Just because you pay a fee to access a Wi-Fi network doesn't mean that the network is secure.

6. URLs beginning with 'https:' are safer (but not foolproof). Whenever you're accessing a site where you'll be sharing personal or confidential information--your bank's site, for example--you want to make sure that you're doing so securely. The s in https means that you're connected to the site via the Secure Socket Layer (SSL). In layman's terms, this means that all data transmitted to that particular Website over the Internet is encrypted.

SSL is not foolproof though: If you're on an unencrypted network connection, you may still be subject to man-in-the-middle (MITM) attacks, a form of eavesdropping where the bad guy makes a connection independently with two parties and then "gets in the middle," making both believe that they are talking directly to each other.

These types of attacks are rare, but to guard against them, make sure you're both connected to a secured network and that Websites use https when you're entering sensitive information.

In addition, says Nocera, most e-mail service providers have both a clear text option (that sends unencrypted data) and an encryption (SSL) option. "Make sure you have the SSL option enabled," he says.

7. Use VPN. If you have access to a VPN (virtual private network), use it. A VPN provides secure access to an organization's network and allows you to get online behind a secure layer that protects your information.

8. Turn off cookies and autofill. If your mobile device automatically enters passwords and login information into Websites you visit frequently, turn that feature off. It's convenient, but it can also be a privacy threat. To get back some of the convenience that autofill offers, you can try third-party apps, available for most platforms, that can manage saved passwords with a higher level of security. Mac OS X, for instance, comes with a built-in password manager--Keychain. KeePass is a free, open-source password manager for some versions of Windows. For iOS and Android smartphones, there's LastPass, 1Password, and SplashID. Using them is not as secure as turning off autofill altogether, but it's one way to strike a good balance. In the end, a little inconvenience can go a long way toward added security.

9. Watch your apps! Apps are great, and many are free, so it can be tempting to download with abandon. But, Nocera cautions, you should be selective about the apps you download, particularly in the Android market, because "the Android app market is a little bit more open," without the strict developer guidelines found in Apple's App Store. Do some due diligence before downloading apps. Make sure that you trust the developer and have taken the time to review some of comments.

TaintDroid is an Android tool that can identify apps that transmit private data and notify users that a third-party application is requesting private information. However, it's not an app that's offered through the Android Market. Instead, users have to manually compile and build the app using the framework provided by an app analysis company.

IF YOU STILL GET HACKED... If you do everything right and still have your information stolen, what should you do? The damage can often be repaired simply by changing your password (to one much stronger) and sending a message via the network that was affected, explaining what happened. What if one of your devices gets stolen? Be sure that all of your mobile devices have a remote wipe or autowipe feature. For Apple's iPhone and iPad, there's Apple's MobileMe service. GoogleApps offers a solution for Android as well. If your device is lost or you know there's been a breach, you can quickly and remotely perform a factory reset from any computer connected to the Internet, wiping out all of the device's data and even locking it indefinitely.

[holidaywishes]

It Had To Be You XXVIII

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Forever Now

  Summary: You confront Tyler about his Instagram posts and it leads to the two of you into a long phone conversation. Eventually, the two of you make up and go to Chris and Karen’s “vow renewal”

  Warning: potential trigger warning, talk of rape/sexual assault, angst, fluff, talk of weddings, is a wedding/vow renewal a warning? -- i don’t know it’s there

  Author’s Note: I don’t know how many of y’all watched it but seeing Melissa and Jesse Blacker’s wedding video on Instagram and how adorable Tyler was is what inspired this chapter. So, if you haven’t watched it, go watch it. It’s beautifully done and incredibly sweet.

  P.S. I’m super stressed that I might cry so if I don’t post for two weeks it’s because I’m crazy busy and my brain doesn’t want to focus on anything other than the stress I have. Send me love, notes of encouragement, I love y’all. Keep reading and enjoying this fake life I’ve created 😂

  Song Credit: Forever Now -- Michael Bublé

  masterlist

  You had never listened so closely to Spittin’ Chiclets as you were, desperately trying to find the explanation of what the bat signal meant. You were so enraged that you often didn’t finish the episodes and went to Google instead. Then you turned to social media. Everything from Facebook to Twitter to Tumblr -- and none of it made you feel any better. You trusted him, or you thought you did, and you had been through this over and over again but it didn’t stop you from looking up his Instagram to see who he was following, if he had followed anyone new; you were turning into a psycho girlfriend which is why you desperately tried to reject his phone calls when his name popped up on your screen.

  “I miss you” he texted and you scoffed, still mad at the hopefully imaginary girls he was with

  “Babe… I need to see you…”

  “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours…”

  “(Y/N)?”

  “Babe, you there?”

  “What’s wrong?” your eyes focused on his last text for a little while, contemplating telling him the truth about what you were thinking or just leaving it -- saying you weren’t in the mood or that you were heading to bed.

  “Did something happen? Are the dogs okay?”

  “Are the dogs okay?!” you finally typed with furious fingers

  “There you are! What’s up, why weren’t you answering me?”

  “Who do you want to know you’re in Vegas, Tyler?”

  “What?”

  “Who’s the ‘bat signal’ for this time?”

  “Bat signal? What are you talking about?”

  “Oh I’m sorry. Should I call it a Pussy Flare?” When he didn’t reply right away, you thought that would be the end of it. At least for tonight. But his stupid face appeared on your screen and you couldn’t just not answer him, so you answered him the only way you could think of right now, “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “Too bad, we’re gonna talk,” he snapped back, “there is no bat signal, there is no pussy flare. Stop listening to Biz.”

  “Real comforting, Ty..” you chided

  “(Y/N) STOP! I’m not doing this again!” he yelled, forcing you to pull the phone away from your ear for a second, “those stories are out of habit. You really think I have time to find some chick to hook up with while we’re on the road?”

  “YES TYLER! I THINK YOU HAVE THE FUCKING TIME TO FIND A GIRL TO FUCK FOR FIVE MINUTES BEFORE YOU GO TO THE RINK FOR TWO HOURS!” you practically lost your mind, and your voice, yelling at him

  “I didn’t mean it like that babe, it came out wrong…”

  “How many were there?” you asked plainly and the line was silent for too long

  “What?” he said faintly

  “How many girls were there before me? Who saw your stories and DM’d you. Who you told where to find you or who you asked where they were?” your voice was steady but you felt like your body was crumbling, “how long has this been your way of filling the emptiness inside you?” As soon as they left your mouth, you felt the pain of your own words and you wanted to apologize, say you didn’t mean them, but Tyler spoke first.

  “I was single! It’s not like I had anyone to tell me not to do it or that I was being an idiot. The person I was in love with was too busy being played by an arrogant son of a bitch to notice any pain I was in!” he yelled and you clenched your jaw, pacing back and forth in your living room, “so, sure, I had sex with some girls when I was on the road. It’s not like I did anything wrong. I had every right to answer those messages and talk to those girls…”

  “Had or have?”

  “Had, smart ass, I’m dating you. I live with you. I love you. I don’t want some random girl throwing herself at me because I posted a story on Instagram about where the team will be. I don’t need that attention from anyone but you…”

  “Then why post those fucking stories anyway?” you continued, “everyone knows what it is Ty! Everyone who follows you, follows Biz or vice versa. They’ve all heard what he said, what those guys have said about those posts”

  “BUT I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING!”

  “SO WHAT’S THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH NOT POSTING THEM?”

  “I TOLD YOU IT’S OUT OF HABIT”

  “YOU CAN BREAK A FUCKING HABIT!”

  “Why do I need to stop?” he wasn’t yelling anymore but his voice was stern, “why does it have to be just me? Why don’t you relax on some of your posts too?”

  “My posts? What the fuck does that mean? What posts have I made that signal some kind of ‘my boyfriend’s out of town, let’s fuck tonight’ vibe?” you mocked, scoffing when you finished your question

  “Maybe all the ones where you’re in the tub. Showing just enough of you leg for everyone to know that you’re naked…”

  “I’m not going to bathe fully clothed Tyler…”

  “You don’t have to show your body like that (Y/N)”

  “What the fuck is this? Fifty Shades of Grey? Are you trying to tell me to only be sexy with you? Seriously?”

  “You control me, I control you right back”

  “CONTROL?! I’m not controlling you Tyler! I’m saying that these particular stories are giving out very clear ideas to the girls in those cities that you’re.. available. And I’d kinda like that to not be the case!” This back and forth went on for another hour and then when both of you came to an agreement, you talked like normal, rational human beings for the rest of the night -- you explained that you were always going to be this way but it didn’t stop you from loving him as much as you did, even though it might drive you both to drink. He explained that he was always going to have a reputation that he couldn’t escape but you knew that about him and you knew who he really was so he was always going to love you. No matter how crazy you got.

  “I just want us to work so badly. I want us to be happy and have a solid relationship…” you sighed, fidgeting with the blanket laying over your knees as you held your phone between your neck and your shoulder

  “We do. We just get a little heated sometimes…” he laughed, “which is not a bad thing. I’ve seen it happen to the best couples. We just might need to learn how to handle our heat differently.. Not blow up at each other so much…”

  “You’re the first person I’ve trusted in a while, Ty, and I think that might scare me a little. I’ve always had to be a little guarded since James turned out to be who he was…”

  “I’m not him, love, I wouldn’t do that to you…”

  “I know, It’s just something I have to deal with still..” you paused, “is that okay?”

  “Of course it’s okay, babe. I will always be here for you. Whether you have stuff to deal with or you have a lot of free time on your hands…”

  “I love you” you said, smiling and leaning your head back against the couch as Cash jumped up on the couch beside you

  “I love you too”

  “Get home as soon as you can! Leave the team early if you have to. Get a private plane if necessary” he smiled and you could picture his dimples, and the way he dropped his head when he laughed shyly

  “I’ll do my best, babe. You should get some sleep, so should I. It’s after 1 AM here, which means it’s what 11 there?”

  “Yeah… 11:15pm is what the clock says” you giggled

  “Alright, well get some sleep. Dream of me, think of me, send me nudes..” he jokingly whispered the last part and you laughed back, repeating what he texted you at the beginning of all this

  “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours…”

  You had gotten very busy, so busy that you hadn’t realized that Chris and Karen’s anniversary had practically come and gone until you got a text from him, saying they’d love for you and Tyler to come to their wedding.

  “You’re already married…”

  “We’re renewing our vows and having a big party”

  “That’s so sweet”

  “So.. do you think you’ll come back?”

  “I can take time off of work but Ty’s schedule is pretty set with games and road trips and everything. I can ask but I think you should just expect me lol..”

  “I’m sure he’d make time”

  “Of course he would but it’s not really up to him.” Chris had become quite fond of Tyler after a small period of caution of James; he felt like you jumped in too quickly but Tyler was treating you right, so Chris got over himself because he saw how happy you were. It was the same for Tyler, he loved spending time with Chris when he’d pop down to Dallas or when he had time in Calgary for lunch or dinner and he was always respectful of yours and Chris’ relationship -- understanding that Chris’ opinion would always matter more to you than anyone else’s. So, you could imagine that Tyler would want to go to the vow renewal and if he couldn’t go, he’d be pretty bummed but the team’s schedule kinda claimed Tyler from you.

  “Let me talk to him” Chris sent a quick text to you and you laughed

  “I can talk to him, he’s back in Dallas tomorrow to play Vegas but I’ll talk to him..”

  “I might be able to work something out with him though”

  “Chris…”

  “Yes?”

  “If it doesn’t happen, don’t be disappointed. You’ll still see me…”

  “Okay” you giggled before signing off and carrying on with your day. When Tyler got back into town, he practically broke down the door

  “OKAY! SO HERE’S WHAT’S UP!” he shouted at you and you laughed hesitantly, “the team will be in Calgary on the 27th, Chris and Karen have their renewal thing on the 26th. We’ll be in Winnipeg on the 25th so, I might be late, but I can meet you there. And we can celebrate with them before we win on Wednesday…”

  “Whoa, calm down babe” you laughed, trying to catch your own breath as he ran through his words

  “You don’t want to go?”

  “Of course I do, but you’re doing an awful lot of rushing around to make this work. Don’t you need a little bit of rest?”

  “Nah,” he smiled, “I’ll sleep on the plane…” You walked up to him to give him a hug, thinking he’d pull you close, but he was practically vibrating with excitement and wouldn’t hold still

  “Ty, baby, relax,” you giggled, “if you really think that you’ll be okay to meet me there, then I don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t go…”

  “Great! Then, we’re set. What do you wear to a Vow Renewal?” he asked and you shook your head, not really thinking he had anything to worry about

  “I mean you just have to wear a suit, not a tux, it’s nothing fancy..”

  “What are you gonna wear?”

  “I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet…”

  “Of course, you’ll look great no matter what” you stared at him for a second, very much taken aback by this entire exchange

  “I don’t get it…” you questioned, “I mean I get that you love Chris and Karen, that you and Chris have become super close, but what’s the big deal about a small Vow Renewal in Calgary? Why get so worked up about it?”

  “I’m in a love kind of mood babe,” he grinned, leaning in to plant a kiss to your forehead, “deal with it.” All you could do was laugh at him and follow his lead, dancing with him absentmindedly when he grabbed your hand to twirl you around; you couldn’t deny the fact that seeing him this happy made your heart happy and that brought a smile to your face that you couldn’t, and wouldn’t, hide.

  “Well you’re lucky,” you teased, “because I love you and I’m a sucker for love…”

  “I love you too” he smirked before continuing to spin you around. Eventually, the two of you made your way to the couch to watch a movie -- arguing playfully over whether Old School or The Duff would win the vote tonight.

  “You always choose the movie. Come on The Duff is great!” you tried to make your case, “it’s funny, it’s got drama and heart. It’s got great acting…”

  “Yeah, but.. Will Ferrell” was his only rebuttal and you laughed

  “I think my Will Ferrell kick is over, sorry babe” he faked arguing a little more before selecting the movie and you cuddled up next to him.

  “What if I asked you to marry me?” he asked and you popped your head up, “at the renewal thing?”

  “Uhm.. what?” your eyes went wide

  “I’m not saying I’m going to, I’m just asking what if..?”

  “What if the sky was green and the grass was blue?” you mumbled

  “What?”

  “Why are you asking this kind of what if,” you paused, “why not a different one. Why not what if we just took off and left this life behind?”

  “Because we both know neither of us can do that…”

  “But we can get married?”

  “Absolutely!”

  “Tyler stop” you readjusted your head back onto his chest

  “Is it really that crazy?”

  “Yes,” you played with the hem of his shirt as you spoke, “and it’s not you…”

  “What do you mean? It’s me asking, isn’t it?”

  “You don’t want to get married, like you said, you’re just in a mood”

  “I’m not going to ask you to marry me, I know we’re not ready,” he calmed you, “but I do want to get married. Seeing Jesse and Amanda, Chris and Karen, all so happy makes me think that there’s nothing better than that kind of relationship. And you make me that kind of happy, so yeah, eventually I might wanna propose to you. And I guess I just wanted your opinion on it…”

  “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, Segs…”

  “I guess we will.”

  You decided to leave Dallas on the 23rd to spend some more time around Calgary before the Vow Renewal; you were excited but for some reason when the plane touched down, you felt an overwhelming sense of caution. As if your body knew something your brain didn’t.

  “Hey sis! I’m just heading over the store to get some groceries and then I’ll be at your place, you need anything?” you texted Lucy

  “Maybe get some Prosecco and we’ll celebrate!”

  “Sounds like a plan to me!” You roamed around the grocery store for a few more minutes before checking out and heading over to the liquor store. You grabbed a few bottles of Rosé just in case your sister didn’t like the Prosecco you picked when you heard a familiar voice

  “I think that this one is really nice! It’s sweet and simple, it’s not complicated. Like us…” You peeked your eyes around the corner of the aisle and tried to immediately retract it before they saw you but it was too late. “(Y/N)?”

  “James! Freddy!” you exclaimed in fake surprise, “what are you two doing here?”

  “We could ask you that same question… don’t you like live in Dallas now?” James fired back

  “I do, yeah..” you faltered slightly when you saw Freddy move in closer to your ex-boyfriend, “uhm, but I’m just here for Chris and Karen’s Vow Renewal thing on Tuesday. Just thought I’d stock up…”

  “Ah, yeah, right the renewal” he mumbled as you continued holding your bottles by the side of your face like a moron, bringing them down quickly before Freddy answered for James

  “We’re kind of stocking up as well…”

  “You two.. were in... I mean both… that’s great..” you stammered but grabbed your stuff to make a run for it.

  “Yeah, Chris invited us,” Freddy’s voice chimed and you could feel your blood start to boil, “he’s so wonderful, isn’t he James?” James nodded frantically but caught your gaze

  “(Y/N)...”

  “I mean we’re practically family aren’t we baby?” she cooed

  “You’re not though are you?” you snapped, fuck, you thought to yourself, why does she get to you so much?

  “Excuse me?” Freddy asked, holding her chest in artificial shock

  “You heard me just fine, Princess,” you argued, “you’re not his family. James isn’t even his family. I don’t know why either of them have kept you in their lives after what you did!”

  “HEY!” Freddy took a step toward you, anger clearly marking her features, “he was trying to be the best boyfriend he could to you, after what happened that night and you were the one who pushed him away. That’s not on him, that’s on you! So, don’t for a second think that you can take away the few people that care about him just because you’re pissed at your own mistakes!”

  “I’m sorry what?” you crossed your arms in front of your chest and adjusted your stance. He told her. He told his mistress about the night you got raped and he somehow made himself into the victim. What a fucking bastard!

  “(Y/N).. just let me explain…” James tried but you just shook your head and began walking away, “I told you I was in pain and you didn’t listen!”

  “I heard you, James, I heard you every time you said you were in pain. Every time you said you wanted to talk about it. Every time you said that you felt like I was blaming you. Every time you brought it up, I HEARD YOU!” you yelled silently as you marched through the store to the counter to purchase your items, “I get it. But let me explain something to you. It was my story, my experience, my awful night that I didn’t want anyone, who didn’t already know about it, to hear about. It wasn’t your right to find a girl to sleep with behind my back and come to the conclusion that she’d be able to keep all of your bad things and take your pain away. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MY PAIN!”

  “(Y/N)... I’m sorry okay…”

  “Thank you,” you said to the cashier and then turned away to walk out of the store, ranting one last thing to James and his concubine, “it doesn’t matter anymore James. You don’t have to be sorry. We’ve both moved on. We don’t owe each other anything, we haven’t for a long time. I just thought you would’ve had the decency, the common sense, to understand that this was not something you just tell someone…” You got into your car, put the keys in the ignition and drove off as furiously as you could.

  It was Vow Renewal Day. And Chris and Karen looked as blissful as ever. You walked around, making sure everything was neat and tidy and generally where it was supposed to be. When you heard giggling coming from one of the rooms, you went to tell your cousins to come to the ballroom and find their seats. But of course, you found Tyler making funny faces at the kids and telling jokes they didn’t understand.

  “Hey baby,” he greeted you from the floor and you walked over to him and the kids, “you look gorgeous!” He stood up just as you got to him and pulled you close

  “Thank you, you clean up pretty nice yourself…” you smiled at him but before you could press your lips to his, you heard giggles coming from your feet, “alright then, we better get going… don’t wanna miss a wedding now do we?”

  “No, Ma’am!” Tyler joked and the kids laughed brightly. You both followed them out of the room and then roamed around to find your seats.

  “You really do look beautiful you know” Tyler nudged your shoulder and pulled you in for a small kiss

  “Thank you, babe,” you replied, “I missed you.” The ceremony was quick and sweet, exactly like you’d expected it to be and the entire group was led to the rooftop for the reception and that’s where things really started to get exciting. Dancing, drinking, jokes, stories, all kinds of speeches. Every drama that was in head was suddenly forgotten when you saw the happiness on everyone’s face.

  And then he spoke…

  “Hello.. Hi everyone. Thanks for letting me get up and say a few words Chris, you know, I’m not very good at this. I probably should be but I’m not,” the group laughed just as Tyler did, signalling it was okay for him to continue, “I haven’t known Karen or Chris very long. But I see what kind of person Chris is everyday when I look at (Y/N). He raised her and her sister, Lucy. They’ve become such amazing people, through the adversity they’ve had to face, and they couldn’t have done it without Chris. Karen, see now Karen has had her work cut out for her from the start. (Y/N) was very wary of this relationship, this marriage, because it happened so suddenly. She wanted to protect the only Father she had, so Karen had to prove to (Y/N) that hurting Chris was the last thing on her mind. And, honestly, I commend her for it. Because anyone who knows (Y/N), or Lucy for that matter, can attest to their unending protection of their precious Christopher. No but in all seriousness, watching the two of you together has proven to me something that I’ve only seen from a handful of people. That love exists and that it can last. So, let’s all raise o--”

  “Oh no!” you covered your laugh as you watched Tyler try to recover from breaking his champagne flute, “oh my love…” you whispered to yourself while giving him a sad look and he just shrugged his shoulders and continued

  “Well it couldn’t all go off without a hitch could it?” he joked, “let’s raise our glasses to Chris and Karen. May the next five years of your marriage be as successful as these last five!”

  “That was so great babe!” you said when he finally came back to you, “even breaking the glass…”

  “Ha ha”

  “No I’m serious, it was beautiful. The whole thing. I think I cried…”

  “You did?” he raised his eyebrows at you

  “Maybe a little…”

  “Well, I got to you and that’s all I needed so I’m good!” You wrapped your arms around his waist and held onto him for a while before he was bombarded from the kids he was joking with earlier

  “Tyler! Tyler! Play with us!” the little boy spoke

  “I don’t know Colton, I’m a little busy right now” Tyler winked at you and then looked back at Colton

  “No you’re not!” Chris’ niece, Allison, shouted, making you and Tyler let out a playful laugh

  “We want to play!! We’re bored…” one of the other boys spoke and you tilted your head toward Tyler to gauge his response. He knelt down to be eye level with them and then you saw his eyes go toward the dancefloor

  “Why don’t we dance?” you could hear his smile and you watched the mixed expressions on the kids faces

  “Dance? Why?” Allison whined

  “You don’t wanna dance with me?” Tyler frowned

  “Can we dance with her?” Colton and the other boy whispered to Tyler, who looked back at you to see your answer. You leaned over, because kneeling wasn’t an option in the outfit you were in, and told the boys you’d love to dance with them but only if Tyler could dance with the girls. They, of course, agreed and the group of you went out to dance. You watched Tyler lead the little girls in front of him while the little boys directed you where they thought you should be, making you laugh to yourself. The music changed from the Y.M.C.A to the Macarena to the Cha Cha Slide to Meant to Be, you and Tyler dancing with the kids to every song that came on. When Forever Now came across the speakers, you felt a hand on the small of your back and Tyler whispered in your ear when the kids heads were turned

  “Thinkin’ ‘bout marrying me yet?” you shook your head and smiled before turning around to face him

  “You’re cute…” your arms snaked around his shoulders with your fingers tangling in his hair

  “That’s not a no...” he smiled at you, his eyes dancing between yours

  “Just dance with me for now.”

  “I can do that” he said sweetly as he kissed your forehead and you fell into complete bliss with him.

[orbemnews]

Robinhood’s Existential Moment ‘The entire community is outraged’ Robinhood had to raise $1 billion from investors yesterday to help it cover cash demands during the week’s trading frenzy, while traders and lawmakers sharply criticized the online broker for halting some trading in Reddit-touted stocks. In short: The consequences of the mania in GameStop, AMC and other stocks are becoming more concrete — and, in Robinhood’s case, more serious. The surge in trading forced Robinhood to raise cash. As waves of investors poured into the markets, Wall Street’s central clearing hub, the Depository Trust and Clearing Corporation, demanded billions more in collateral from brokerages to shield it from the volatility. Robinhood, which had already drawn millions from its credit lines to meet margin requirements, turned to existing investors for additional capital so it wouldn’t have to impose further limits on customer trades. A more detailed explanation: Brokerages post money with the D.T.C.C. to cover customers’ transactions while they wait for the trades to settle. With such a big surge in trading, the clearing hub wanted more assurance: “It’s the D.T.C.C. saying ‘This stuff is just too risky,’ ” said the Bloomberg Intelligence analyst Larry Tabb. Other online brokerages also cited the D.T.C.C. as a factor in decisions to impose trading restrictions. Robinhood faces a loss of confidence from customers. After becoming the venue of choice for small investors, the app risks alienating a core customer base — and feelings of betrayal over the trading limits may be harder to address than annoyance over technical outages. (Small groups of protesters gathered in New York and outside Robinhood’s Bay Area headquarters yesterday.) “Brokers are now ‘protecting’ customers as a facade so that they can appease their institutional backers,” one individual trader told Bloomberg. “The entire community is outraged.” It’s also feeling the heat from Washington. An unlikely mix of lawmakers — including Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Senator Ted Cruz — accused Robinhood of imposing trading limits to help out hedge funds caught out by the retail trading frenzy. The heads of the Senate Banking Committee and the House Financial Services Committee called for hearings. It poses a big challenge for Robinhood’s policy team, including its chief legal officer, Dan Gallagher, a former S.E.C. commissioner. Does the populism angle hold up? Though many traders and commentators — including The Times’s Kevin Roose — see the GameStop mania in part as an internet-enabled pushback against Wall Street elites, financial bigwigs like the investment firm Silver Lake were among the big winners.“Are you entirely sure there aren’t wealthy people on both sides?” Senator Elizabeth Warren asked yesterday. Lost amid the noise: What about the companies at the center of all this? AMC, for one, is reportedly considering selling shares to take advantage of the huge run-up in its stock, further adding to its cash reserves while many of its theaters remain closed because of the pandemic. What happens next? We have some thoughts: Does Robinhood’s business model need a rethink? It couldn’t raise capital by increasing transaction fees, because it doesn’t have any. The company benefits from more trading — but more trading also means it needs more capital. Going public will help give the company more sources of financing, but this kind of frenzy may emerge again and again. Will lawmakers and regulators step in, perhaps with higher margin requirements for brokerages to prevent similar runs in the future? That might make trading costlier for users, which would be politically awkward. How will Wall Street reckon with the rise of social media as a market force? Hedge funds are already poring through Reddit and Twitter for the next GameStop, but short-sellers in particular may now be at risk of ruin by masses of small traders who have found a new strategy. HERE’S WHAT’S HAPPENING G.M. announces the end of petroleum-powered vehicles. The automaker said it would sell only zero-emission cars and trucks by 2035, an ambitious goal that could reshape both the automotive and oil and gas industries. Democrats prepare to pass stimulus measures without Republican support. Biden administration officials and Congressional leaders signaled that they would start the process for approving the measures through reconciliation, as new data showed that the economic recovery faltered late last year. WeWork weighs going public via a SPAC. The office-space company has held talks with blank-check funds to join the public markets, DealBook has learned, confirming a report in The Wall Street Journal. It is also considering raising more money from private-market investors, which may be more likely. Another Covid-19 vaccine shows promise, except against a new strain. Early trial data on a treatment by Novavax showed nearly 90 percent efficacy, but less than 50 percent against a coronavirus variant in South Africa. Facebook might sue Apple, escalating tensions between the tech giants. Facebook has considered formally accusing Apple of anticompetitive actions in its App Store. Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg and Apple’s Tim Cook continue to take shots at each other over their diametrically opposed privacy practices and business models. Two more thoughts on GameStop On the media: After the financial crisis in 2008, the financial news media was blamed for not blowing the whistle — or not blowing it loudly enough — before the collapse. It made many of us acutely aware of our responsibility to look out for the so-called little guy. The GameStop situation turns this on its head: The investors piling into the company’s shares say they don’t want — or need — protection. In fact, they argue that by urging caution, the media is actually protecting hedge funds and the Wall Street establishment. There is no question the “system” could be changed to level the playing field. Which “side” is the media supposed to be on? The answer, simply, is the truth. On short sellers: Traders identified GameStop as ripe for a “short squeeze” rally because of a peculiar development: more than 100 percent of its float was sold short. That is, more of its shares were out on loan to investors than were available to trade. (The average S&P 500 company has less than 4 percent of its float sold short.) Is it something nefarious? Not really: There’s a technical answer, but put simply, betting against GameStop became so popular that chains of traders were lending shares that they had already borrowed to others who also wanted to short the stock. So, when someone in the chain asks for their stock back, it can set off a messy cascade of buying and selling as the shares make their way back to their original owner. The stocks at the center of this week’s mania all had high “short interest,” amplifying the scramble to buy shares to return to lenders before they got even more expensive. “Look, before I begin my prepared remarks, I want to preemptively state that we will not be commenting nor answering questions on the recent activity in our stock price.” — Doug Parker, the C.E.O. of American Airlines, at the start of the company’s earnings call on a torrid day for its stock price. Facebook’s ‘Supreme Court’ makes its first rulings Facebook’s Oversight Board issued its first round of decisions yesterday, overturning four of five decisions in which the company removed posts that it said had violated policies on hate speech and violence. So far, 20,000 cases have been submitted for review by the board, which is made up 20 journalists, scholars and former officials and judges. What does it mean for Donald Trump’s ban? The board is still debating its highest-profile case: Facebook’s suspending the former president’s account after the Jan. 6 Capitol riots. This week’s decisions could bode well for Mr. Trump, but as our colleague Shira Ovide writes, that eventual ruling will have bigger stakes: “Should Facebook continue to give world leaders more leeway than the rest of us?” For more about the oversight board, the co-chairs wrote an Op-Ed for The Times. Davos goes virtual It’s the final day of the World Economic Forum, normally held this time of year in the exclusive Alpine resort of Davos, Switzerland. The gathering of the global elite went virtual because of the pandemic, so the C.E.O.s and heads of state who gather amid snow-capped mountains beamed in from their offices and living rooms instead. What caught our eye this week: Climate change is a perennial conversation topic at Davos, but this year businesses appear to be taking more concrete action to address it. More than 60 corporate chiefs committed to a set of environmental, social and governance measures that they will disclose for shareholders and other stakeholders. Specific, standardized measurements of things like environmental impact are in short supply, but influential investors like Larry Fink of BlackRock have been pushing for more disclosures, and threatening to divest from companies that aren’t forthcoming on E.S.G. metrics. John Kerry, the White House’s special envoy for climate change, also made a high-profile appeal to business leaders to prepare for “a zero emissions future”; Bill Gates talked carbon markets; and a new book by the forum’s founder, Klaus Schwab, and its head of communications, Peter Vanham, frames it in the context of “stakeholder capitalism.” Catch up on all the sessions at the forum’s live blog: Here’s the session with Mr. Kerry; here’s one on digital inclusion moderated by Andrew; and for something different, here’s a chat with the star architect David Adjaye. THE SPEED READ Deals Shares in the survey software company Qualtrics jumped 40 percent in its New York trading debut yesterday, after pricing its I.P.O. above expectations, while the boot brand Dr. Martens rose by 20 percent in early trading in London today, after its I.P.O. priced at the upper end of its range. (Reuters) The cryptocurrency exchange Coinbase said it planned to go public through a direct listing. (Bloomberg) The gaming company Roblox delayed its I.P.O. after the S.E.C. raised questions about how the company recognizes revenue. (Reuters) Politics and policy President Biden’s nominee for attorney general, Merrick Garland, reportedly favors a former aide, the Kirkland & Ellis litigator Susan Davies, to lead the Justice Department’s antitrust division. (The American Prospect) During his presidential campaign, Mr. Biden warned family members about their business dealings, telling one of his brothers, “For Christ’s sake, watch yourself.” (Politico) Tech Elon Musk news: SpaceX is said to be close to raising new funds at a valuation above $60 billion, and after he changed his Twitter bio to one word, “bitcoin,” the price of the cryptocurrency soared. (Business Insider, CoinDesk) SoftBank reportedly approved $600 million in loans to four top executives to let them buy shares in the company, potentially netting them a huge windfall. (FT) Best of the rest McKinsey is reportedly in talks to settle investigations by state attorneys general over advice it gave to opioid manufacturers. (WSJ) It isn’t just GameStop: the joke cryptocurrency Dogecoin is having a moment, thanks to Reddit. (CNBC) We’d like your feedback! Please email thoughts and suggestions to dealbook@nytimes.com. Source link Orbem News #Existential #Moment #Robinhoods

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Reading Recap: August 2018

At the end of every month, I take a look back at my reading journal and share the books and my thoughts on them here. The comments below are excerpts from my full reviews on Goodreads; you can always keep up with my reading in real-time over there.

My Goodreads goal for the year was 71 books, and I hit it this month! So I’ve increased my goal to 91 books—this is the most I’ve ever read in my life, and I’m loving it. After being a guest on the What Should I Read Next? Podcast, I decided to start treating my love of reading as a hobby. Prior to that—for reasons I can’t articulate—I just didn’t see reading that way. It was something I did around the edges of the day, but it wasn’t a primary activity.

Since we moved to Prague, that’s changed. I watch only 1 hour of TV each day—and don’t read that in a snooty voice! I pass no judgment on TV-watching; I love TV-watching. I just like reading more. By the by, we usually work our way through a series, one episode per day until we’re done. Just finished season two of Riverdale, and I love it so much OMG. So campy and over-the-top. LOVE! I cannot wait for season three. Give me more Cheryl!

Anyway… back to reading. I deleted Twitter and my RSS reader from my phone so I don’t get sucked into the vortex. I always have my Kindle in my purse so I can take advantage of unexpected bench-sitting time or a long line. I listen to audiobooks and literary podcasts on my daily walks. And I read every night before bed, sometimes at lunch, and sometimes for 30-60 minutes in the morning, if I wake up before 6:00 a.m.

I am thoroughly enjoying this book nerdiness.

Pachinko byMin Jin Lee | 3 1/2 stars I really wanted to love this book, but for me, it was good, not great—which makes me feel kinda dumb because it received so many prestigious accolades. I respect it, but it didn’t touch my heart. To be fair, I’m beginning to think that sprawling family dramas are not for me. I prefer to be really connected to a smaller cast of characters in an atmospheric setting. There were so many people in this book and the way I thought of them was “the one that owns the pachinko parlor,” “the one that wants to be a scholar”… they never moved past 1-liners into real people for me. (My Goodreads review provides more detail, but also spoilers; proceed with caution.)

This book’s biggest strength—and it’s significant—is the way it brings an unknown-to-me part of history to light. I was only vaguely aware of the events leading up the U.S. Korean War, and it was fascinating—and sobering—to learn about the tensions and discrimination between the Korean and Japanese people.

Favorite highlight: “People are rotten everywhere you go. They’re no good. You want to see a very bad man? Make an ordinary man successful beyond his imagination. Let’s see how good he is when he can do whatever he wants.”

The Strange Case of the Alchemist’s Daughter  by Theodora Goss | 4 stars Just as Pachinko helped me realize multigenerational family sagas aren’t really for me, this book reinforced how much I love stories about found families. Set in Victorian England, this romping adventure includes not one, but FIVE plucky heroines, and I am here for it. If you enjoy the Veronica Speedwell series—A Curious Beginning, A Perilous Undertaking, A Treacherous Curse—then you will probably enjoy this one, too.

I don’t want to give too much away because the surprises are fun, but this story includes Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, the danger of poisoning, literary references, a traveling circus, an insane asylum, potentially evil nuns, and family secrets. What’s not to love?! (I also treated myself to the sequel European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman because it’s described as a “madcap romp” and the action takes place in Paris, Vienna, and Budapest.)

Favorite highlight: “No wonder men did not want women to wear bloomers. What could women accomplish if they did not have to continually mind their skirts, keep them from dragging in the mud or getting trampled on the steps of an omnibus? If they had pockets! With pockets, women could conquer the world!”

I’d Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life by Anne Bogel | 5 stars It’s no secret that I adore Anne Bogel’s podcast What Should I Read Next? so I had high expectations for this collection of essays. On her podcast, Anne is just the kind of person with whom you’d want to discuss books: opinionated but not pushy, insightful, relatable, and quick to laugh—all of that warmth and intelligence and sheer book love comes across in these essays. I read it over the course of a month or so, dipping into the essays between the other novels I was reading to cleanse my palate and to revel in the book nerdiness of reading.

I sometimes have a difficult time talking about my favorite books, or even really sharing how much reading means to me as a human—it feels too personal, makes me vulnerable in a way I’m not really ready for. But reading this book made me realize that there are legions of us out there: People who find friendship, solace, adventure, challenge, grief, joy—the whole gamut of human emotions—in the books that we read. And sometimes, they’re just damn fun.

I’d Rather Be Reading is just like that: lots of feels and damn fun.

Favorite highlight: “Old books, like old friends, are good for the soul. But they’re not just comfort reads. No, a good book is exciting to return to, because even though I’ve been there before, the landscape is always changing.”

Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel | 4 stars Food, love, magic, and passion color this luscious family saga set in a Mexican border town around 1019, so the intimate story of the family is played out against the backdrop of the Mexican Revolution. The tale reads like a family legend that’s been passed down through generations, and it centers on the forbidden love of Tita and Pedro. As the youngest daugher, it’s Tita’s fate to forsake love and to care for her dominerring mother Mama Elena until her mother’s death. But Tita and Pedro fall madly in love: When Tita felt Pedro’s gaze on her “she understood exactly how raw dough must feel when it comes into contact with boiling oil.” To be close to Tita, Pedro marries her older sister, and no one’s life remains untouched by this flawed decision.

Tita’s life is spent in the kitchen—both a gift and a curse to her—and her cooking is infused with deep emotion and magic. To Tita, food is life, and each chapter represents a month of the year, opening with a recipe that intertwines with the characters’ lives. Tita’s tears wept into wedding cake batter induce a devastating sense of longing in the guests who take a bite, and a delicate sauce made of rose petals inspires dangerous passions around the dinner table.

As the plot traces Tita and Pedro’s lifelong love, we see its impact on the rest of the family and the village: Tita’s sisters, a kindly doctor, bouncing babies, and Mexican revolutionaries. It’s a delightful—and sad—story of family obligation, the things that feed us, and a passion that could not be extinguished.

Favorite highlight: “When the talk turns to eating, a subject of the greatest importance, only fools and sick men don’t give it the attention it deserves.”

Jamaica Inn by Daphne du Maurier | 3 stars I went into this novel expecting a dark gothic adventure—thanks to previously reading Rebecca https://amzn.to/2BVakpp—and that’s exactly what I got—for better and for worse. Our heroine is definitely a damsel in distress, all muddle and forbidden love and quivering fear. I think I would have loved this book if Mary had some spunk, but instead, she kind of just bounces her way through the story. I found I enjoyed giving daily updates to my husband about what was happening a lot more than I actually enjoyed reading it. But for pure camp, it’s great: creepy isolated house, desolate moors, shady characters, an is-he-or-isn’t-he love interest, locked doors, a big character reveal, and plenty of stormy nights.

Favorite highlight: “The driver, muffled in a greatcoat to his ears, bent almost double in his seat in a faint endeavor to gain shelter from his own shoulders…”

Prague Spring by Simon Mawer | 4 1/2 stars Yay for British release dates: I got to read this book in time for the anniversary of Prague Spring on August 21—it’s available for pre-order now in the U.S.

This books examines what people are willing to risk for freedom and love. And if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to accidentally get caught up in a potentially dangerous spy mission, this is the book for you.

It’s the summer of 1968—the summer of love—even, for a while, in communist Czechoslovakia. As tensions rise between Moscow and Prague in the background, this story follow the misadventures—romantic and otherwise—of two groups of people: an on-again-off-again British couple who cross the Iron Curtain on a lark as they listlessly backpack through Europe, and a group of Czech youths—eager to test the limits of the Czechoslovak “socialism with a human face”—who find themselves in an unexpected friendship with a British diplomat.

There are also world-famous musicians, bugged rooms, larks into the countryside, and secret meetings. The various threads of this sort-of spy story come together in a satisfying, heartbreaking way. There’s plenty of intrigue, interpersonal sparks, romance, adventure, and irresistible descriptions of Prague, as well as a cast of characters you won’t soon forget. (I also LOVED another book by Simon Mawer: The Glass Room.) http://meljoulwan.com/2018/07/23/reading-recap-june-2018/

Favorite highlight: “You haven’t lived here long enough,” Zdenek said. “No one can live in this place for long and still believe in reality.”

FIND ALL THESE BOOKS AND MORE IN MY AMAZON STORE!

Source: https://meljoulwan.com/2018/09/03/reading-recap-august-2018/

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Dawn at Quiet Lake in Idaho’s Cecil D. Andrus-White Clouds Wilderness, created in 2015.

By Michael Lanza

How’s it feel to be a conservationist in America today? Does it feel like people who want the government to protect the environment—which is a large majority of Americans—suddenly find themselves losing a war that it seemed we had already won?

These are strange and frustrating times for conservation. We have to wonder: How could so many Americans believe that climate science is bogus—or even a “hoax,” as a certain world leader calls it? How could so many of our countrymen and women applaud as the current White House takes an axe to the agency created four decades ago to protect the very environment we live in? Or buy into the corrupt notion that ceding control of our prized public lands to private interests could, in any way, be in our public interest?

And where do we go from here?

Somewhere along the line, logic got turned on its head. We need to stand it upright again—and we can.

  The Bears Ears buttes in Bears Ears National Monument, which President Trump shrank by 85 percent.

The good news is that while we are, in many ways, mired in a war for the future not only of conservation but for the nation’s values—not to mention human civilization—environmentalists do have a much larger army than the opposition. Gallup reported in March 2018 that “62 percent of Americans say government is doing too little on the environment,” the highest that number has been since 2006.

The same poll found overwhelming majorities want more public investment in renewable energy, higher pollution and auto-emissions standards, and stronger enforcement of environmental regulations. Seven in 10 Americans believe climate change is happening and six in 10 want the government to do something about it.

  Hi, I’m Michael Lanza, creator of The Big Outside, which has made several top outdoors blog lists. Click here to sign up for my FREE email newsletter. Subscribe now to get full access to all of my blog’s stories. Click here to learn how I can help you plan your next trip. Please follow my adventures on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube.

But the anti-environmental movement is very well funded—with the climate-change misinformation campaign led by the fossil-fuel industry and related special interests—and has massed its troops in elected positions from Congress to state capitols and local offices.

They are dismantling the protections created over decades to ensure that Americans can breathe clean air and drink clean water, and protect endangered species. They are working to undermine the international effort to combat climate change. They are abetted in their self-serving scheme by a president who embraces no ideology beyond self-aggrandizement, and who has mastered the dark art of sowing division and discord through stoking the fires of fear and hate—all in the service of increasing his own profit and power. And he is enabled by a congressional majority willing to deploy un-American tactics to achieve their goals, like actively preventing some citizens from voting, and extreme gerrymandering of districts so that politicians get to select their voters rather than the other way around.

  Lower Yellowstone Falls in the world’s first national park, Yellowstone.

Among many moves to roll back progress on climate change, the Trump administration has taken steps to allow increased emissions of methane—one of the most powerful greenhouse gases—to weaken car pollution rules, and to let states set their own rules on coal emissions (or no rules at all). The administration hires ex-lawyers and lobbyists for polluting industries to regulate those industries—the proverbial fox guarding the henhouse. Trump’s Interior Department under Director Ryan Zinke has rescinded an Obama-era policy requiring that national parks management be based in science.

This NY Times story lists 76 environmental rules Trump is throwing out, and concludes: “All told, the Trump administration’s environmental rollbacks could lead to at least 80,000 extra deaths per decade and cause respiratory problems for more than one million people.” That story goes on to quote a Harvard expert saying that number is likely to be “a major underestimate of the global public health impact.”

This is what an all-out war on the environment looks like. It’s enough to really piss you off, right?

Climate change constitutes, literally and figuratively, a steadily rising tide that threatens to overwhelm civilization. The science not only continues to affirm this reality, it strongly suggests that we are on a faster trajectory toward increasingly severe consequences than previously thought.

  Read about how climate change is affecting our national parks in my book Before They’re Gone—A Family’s Year-Long Quest to Explore America’s Most Endangered National Parks.

  Backpackers hiking through a burned forest in Glacier National Park. Climate change has made wildfires larger and more numerous.

The U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change warned recently that we have until 2030 to slash carbon emissions by 45 percent, and until 2050 to eliminate all carbon emissions. Otherwise, we condemn our children, grandchildren, and generations for centuries to life on a planet undergoing catastrophic climate change.

Many of us followed a long path through the outdoors that led us into conservation. We are motivated by a love of hiking, climbing, fishing, backpacking, skiing, paddling, hunting, birding, and other pastimes that have given us some of the most inspirational and joyful moments in our lives. Pull back the covers on the phrase “conservation movement” and you simply find people who share simple, common values: protecting places in nature that give us a rejuvenating connection to our humanity, and maintaining a world environment in which humans can thrive and live healthy lives.

History will recall this era as a dark time when some leaders showed a ruthless and shameless willingness to destroy the planetary environment that sustains life as humans have always known it.

But we have the opportunity to ultimately record this period as the time that the conservation movement became reinvigorated and rose to the challenges we face today. Many organizations and individuals are engaged and committed to this mission. The technology exists to accomplish this; we need only the political will, and that begins with each of us.

Here are some ideas for getting back on the right track.

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  Backpackers on Clouds Rest in Yosemite National Park.

No. 1 Vote in Every Election

Voting represents the bare minimum effort we are all asked to make as citizens of what has been and could still be—if we’re ready to save it—the nation that leads the free world.

Voting is not a big ask. It’s not a heavy lift. In fact, we should all participate in the democratic process more deeply than merely voting.

The Teton Crest Trail in Grand Teton National Park.

We should certainly seek to inform ourselves thoroughly through a variety of legitimate sources in the media and elsewhere. Knowledge and accurate information offer the best protection against the demagogues, charlatans, and liars who employ today’s vast array of communication tools to foment the fear, intolerance, and hate that seem to motivate so many voters now. We don’t need impenetrable walls along our borders—we need virtual windows onto our entire world, through which we can see everything more clearly.

Just as we have a choice in how we drive a vehicle—we can drive it intelligently and with care and caution, or steer it over a cliff—we can use the infinite resources available at our fingertips today to make ourselves better-informed citizens, rather than pawns of the purveyors of misinformation.

But voting is step one on the stairway of democracy. And yet, millions of Americans do not vote—they do not contribute the bare minimum effort as a member of a democracy. Some, including young people and populations already marginalized, only vote occasionally, typically in presidential elections, skipping mid-terms that determine the crucial makeup of Congress and key state offices.

Think of it this way: There are 10 houses on your street, but only the owners of six of them make all the rules for the neighborhood, including how much you each pay to live there (and they charge others more than they charge themselves), because the owners of four houses don’t vote.

Sound like a good system?

If not, then get out and vote and urge everyone you know to do the same—especially anyone who’s never voted or does rarely, including young people. Tell anyone who complains about the cynicism in politics that they have the power to do something about it, beginning with their vote. If everyone eligible voter in America cast a ballot in every election, we’d be well on our way to having a functional democracy.

  Plan your next backpacking adventure in Yosemite, Grand Teton and other parks using my expert e-guides.

  Sahale Glacier Camp in North Cascades National Park, one of my 25 favorite backcountry campsites.

No. 2 Choose to Live More Sustainably

Yes, it sometimes seems the solutions to climate change and other environmental problems lie far beyond our reach as individuals. But we can all do more to reduce personal waste and consumption, and that exerts a positive collective impact.

We can make choices about lifestyle and family and work circumstances that affect our waste and consumption. A few examples of many possible steps include reducing car trips and driving an economical vehicle, being more careful about electricity and water use, buying food grown and produced as close to your home as possible and planting a vegetable garden, recycling and reusing, and composting home organic waste. Larger steps like improving house insulation and converting to solar create expense up front but pay off over the long term.

The Center for Biological Diversity lists these 12 ways to live more sustainably, but you can easily find much more information on that subject. Some actions are big and costly, others have long-term, significant impacts and save you money.

But the best news about living more sustainably? Instead of making you pissed off, it can make you happier and healthier and improve your life. When I gave my wife a cruiser bicycle for Christmas a few years ago, her attitude toward biking rather than driving local trips swung 180 degrees. Now we frequently ride into town, which creates time together that’s far more enjoyable than driving in traffic and searching for parking—not to mention far better for our community.

  Backpackers on the Piegan Pass Trail in Glacier National Park.

No. 3 Get Off Your Butt

Actions speak louder than bitching on Facebook. If you’re truly pissed off, do something.

Volunteer for and donate to political candidates and campaigns you like and respect, who you believe can help our world—or your little part of it—rather than harm it. Or even run for office and be an agent for change.

Find organizations that do work you support and offer them your time and resources. Join a board; many groups are desperate for intelligent, committed volunteers who bring a variety of expertise to the table. I’m no genius, but for years I’ve served on volunteer boards and committees working on protecting and managing conservation and recreation lands, improving public education (smarter kids make smarter voters and citizens), and electing pro-conservation politicians. (I’m on the board of Conservation Voters for Idaho, which has resounding success electing green candidates in a very red state and deserves your support.)

Step up. You might be surprised at how many people would love to have whatever you can give.

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  Backpackers in Utah’s Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, which Trump cut in half.

No. 4 Do What Jesus or Muhammad or Buddha Would Do

Religious leaders are increasingly joining the rising chorus of people who believe the world’s governments have a moral duty to protect the environment and take aggressive action to limit the severity of climate change.

In September 2017, Pope Francis and Orthodox Christian leader Patriarch Bartholomew called for a collective response from world leaders to climate change, saying the planet was deteriorating and vulnerable people were the first to be affected. Other religious organizations are investing directly in projects that protect the planet, such as renewable energy, sustainable agriculture, and forest protection.

As well they should. Jesus said, “For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?” The Prophet Muhammad said, “Conduct yourself in this world as if you are here to stay forever.” The Buddha said, “I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.”

  Planning your next big adventure? See “America’s Top 10 Best Backpacking Trips” and “The 20 Best National Park Dayhikes.”

  Bighorn sheep in Glacier. Click photo for 10 Tips for Getting a Hard-to-Get National Park Backcountry Permit.

No. 5 Please, Don’t Give Up or Give In

It’s easy to feel defeated. It’s hard to make things better. And it’s not enough to just be pissed off. Consider how much is at stake. I’m reminded of that every day when I look at my kids.

There are many reasons to be optimistic for our future. I’m encouraged by the efforts of politicians at the state and local levels and businesses committed to a sensible future in an economy built upon clean energy—the only future. California has committed to meeting 100 percent of its energy needs by 2045. Thousands of cities, regional governments, investors, and corporations have pledged to reduce their carbon footprint, motivated in large part by Trump’s decision to pull the United States out of the international Paris climate change agreement.

I am encouraged by the energy, intelligence, and determination of today’s young people. They don’t wallow in fear and despair. They aren’t mourning the planet’s future and lamenting that climate change seems so gigantic and daunting a problem that any action feels futile. They are acting. They are educating themselves. They are demanding leadership.

Larch trees reflected in Rainbow Lake, in Washington’s North Cascades.

But those of us in the generations now running the show—who are responsible for much of this problem—have to hand them the tools to help them complete the most important work humanity has ever faced. We have to give them a fighting chance.

If we fail to right our ship, then we will deserve it when today’s children look at us in the fast-approaching future, as the oceans drown cities and starvation and political instability spawn refugee waves unlike anything we’ve ever seen in history, and ask, “What were you thinking?”

I’m reminded of three quotes that speak to the time we live in now. The first has been described as an Aboriginal proverb but also attributed to various sources: “We do not inherit the planet from our ancestors, we borrow it from our grandchildren.”

The second is a quote that has been attributed to the Irish philosopher, statesman, and parliamentarian Edmund Burke: “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

Finally, we might all find inspiration in the words written by a young girl while she suffered through the worst evil the world has ever known. Anne Frank famously wrote: “It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.”

We have no other choice. We cannot fail, because failure now means giving up on hope.

  Tell me what you think.

I spent a lot of time writing this story, so if you enjoyed it, please consider giving it a share using one of the buttons below, and leave a comment or question at the bottom of this story. I’d really appreciate it.

  Read about one great American adventure that’s possible today because of the conservation movement in my story “Why Conservation Matters: Rafting the Green River’s Gates of Lodore.”

  You live for the outdoors. The Big Outside helps you get out there. Subscribe now and a get free e-guide!

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SEO Link Building & Establishing Authority

Crank up the SEO juice

You've created content that people are searching for, that answers their questions, and that search engines can understand, but those qualities alone don't mean it'll rank. To outrank the rest of the sites with those qualities, you have to establish authority. That can be accomplished by earning links from authoritative websites, building your brand, and nurturing an audience who will help amplify your content. Google has confirmed that links and quality content are two of the three most important ranking factors for SEO. Trustworthy sites tend to link to other trustworthy sites, and spammy sites tend to link to other spammy sites. But what is a link, exactly? How do you go about earning them from other websites? Let's start with the basics. What are links? Inbound links, also known as backlinks or external links, are HTML hyperlinks that point from one website to another. They're the currency of the Internet, as they act a lot like real-life reputation. If you went on vacation and asked three people (all completely unrelated to one another) what the best coffee shop in town was, and they all said, "Cuppa Joe on Main Street," you would feel confident that Cuppa Joe is indeed the best coffee place in town. Links do that for search engines. Since the late 1990s, search engines have treated links as votes for popularity and importance on the web. Internal links, or links that connect internal pages of the same domain, work very similarly for your website. A high amount of internal links pointing to a particular page on your site will provide a signal to Google that the page is important, so long as it's done naturally and not in a spammy way. The engines themselves have refined the way they view links, now using algorithms to evaluate sites and pages based on the links they find. But what's in those algorithms? How do the engines evaluate all those links? It all starts with the concept of E-A-T. You are what you E-A-T Google's Search Quality Rater Guidelines put a great deal of importance on the concept of E-A-T — an acronym for expert, authoritative, and trustworthy. Sites that don't display these characteristics tend to be seen as lower-quality in the eyes of the engines, while those that do are subsequently rewarded. E-A-T is becoming more and more important as search evolves and increases the importance of solving for user intent. Creating a site that's considered expert, authoritative, and trustworthy should be your guiding light as you practice SEO. Not only will it simply result in a better site, but it's future-proof. After all, providing great value to searchers is what Google itself is trying to do. E-A-T and links to your site The more popular and important a site is, the more weight the links from that site carry. A site like Wikipedia, for example, has thousands of diverse sites linking to it. This indicates it provides lots of expertise, has cultivated authority, and is trusted among those other sites. To earn trust and authority with search engines, you'll need links from websites that display the qualities of E-A-T. These don't have to be Wikipedia-level sites, but they should provide searchers with credible, trustworthy content. Page Authority, and Spam Score are important. In general, you'll want links from sites with a higher Domain Authority than your sites. Followed vs. nofollowed links Remember how links act as votes? The rel=nofollow attribute (pronounced as two words, "no follow") allows you to link to a resource while removing your "vote" for search engine purposes. Just like it sounds, "nofollow" tells search engines not to follow the link. Some engines still follow them simply to discover new pages, but these links don't pass link equity (the "votes of popularity" we talked about above), so they can be useful in situations where a page is either linking to an untrustworthy source or was paid for or created by the owner of the destination page. Say, for example, you write a post about link building practices, and want to call out an example of poor, spammy link building. You could link to the offending site without signaling to Google that you trust it. Standard links (ones that haven't had nofollow added) look like this: I love SEMRush Nofollow link markup looks like this: I love SEMRush If follow links pass all the link equity, shouldn't that mean you want only follow links? Not necessarily. Think about all the legitimate places you can create links to your own website: a Facebook profile, a Yelp page, a Twitter account, etc. These are all natural places to add links to your website, but they shouldn't count as votes for your website. (Setting up a Twitter profile with a link to your site isn't a vote from Twitter that they like your site.) It's natural for your site to have a balance between nofollowed and followed backlinks in its link profile (more on link profiles below). A nofollow link might not pass authority, but it could send valuable traffic to your site and even lead to future followed links. Tip: Use SEMRush extension for Google Chrome to highlight links on any page to find out whether they're nofollow or follow without ever having to view the source code!

Your link profile

Your link profile is an overall assessment of all the inbound links your site has earned: the total number of links, their quality (or spamminess), their diversity (is one site linking to you hundreds of times, or are hundreds of sites linking to you once?), and more. The state of your link profile helps search engines understand how your site relates to other sites on the Internet. There are various SEO tools that allow you to analyze your link profile and begin to understand its overall makeup. How can I see which inbound links point to my website? Use SEMRush and set up your site's URL. You'll be able to see how many and which websites are linking back to you. What are the qualities of a healthy link profile? When people began to learn about the power of links, they began manipulating them for their benefit. They'd find ways to gain artificial links just to increase their search engine rankings. While these dangerous tactics can sometimes work, they are against Google's terms of service and can get a website deindexed (removal of web pages or entire domains from search results). You should always try to maintain a healthy link profile. A healthy link profile is one that indicates to search engines that you're earning your links and authority fairly. Just like you shouldn't lie, cheat, or steal, you should strive to ensure your link profile is honest and earned via your hard work. Links are earned or editorially placed Editorial links are links added naturally by sites and pages that want to link to your website. The foundation of acquiring earned links is almost always through creating high-quality content that people genuinely wish to reference. This is where describing extremely high-quality content is essential! If you can provide the best and most interesting resource on the web, people will naturally link to it. Naturally earned links require no specific action from you, other than the creation of worthy content and the ability to create awareness about it. Tip: Earned mentions are often unlinked! When websites are referring to your brand or a specific piece of content you've published, they will often mention it without linking to it. To find these earned mentions, use SEMRush. You can then reach out to those publishers to see if they'll update those mentions with links. Links are relevant and from topically similar websites Links from websites within a topic-specific community are generally better than links from websites that aren't relevant to your site. If your website sells dog houses, a link from the Society of Dog Breeders matters much more than one from the Roller Skating Association. Additionally, links from topically irrelevant sources can send confusing signals to search engines regarding what your page is about. Tip: Linking domains don't have to match the topic of your page exactly, but they should be related. Avoid pursuing backlinks from sources that are completely off-topic; there are far better uses of your time. Anchor text is descriptive and relevant, without being spammy Anchor text helps tell Google what the topic of your page is about. If dozens of links point to a page with a variation of a word or phrase, the page has a higher likelihood of ranking well for those types of phrases. However, proceed with caution! Too many backlinks with the same anchor text could indicate to the search engines that you're trying to manipulate your site's ranking in search results. Tip: Use the "Anchor Text" report in SEMRush to see what anchor text other websites are using to link to your content. Links send qualified traffic to your site Link building should never be solely about search engine rankings. Esteemed SEO and link building thought leader Eric Ward used to say that you should build your links as though Google might disappear tomorrow. In essence, you should focus on acquiring links that will bring qualified traffic to your website — another reason why it's important to acquire links from relevant websites whose audience would find value in your site, as well. Tip: Use the "Referral Traffic" report in Google Analytics to evaluate websites that are currently sending you traffic. How can you continue to build relationships with similar types of websites? Link building don'ts & things to avoid Spammy link profiles are just that: full of links built in unnatural, sneaky, or otherwise low-quality ways. Practices like buying links or engaging in a link exchange might seem like the easy way out, but doing so is dangerous and could put all of your hard work at risk. A guiding principle for your link building efforts is to never try to manipulate a site's ranking in search results. But isn't that the entire goal of SEO? To increase a site's ranking in search results? And herein lies the confusion. Google wants you to earn links, not build them, but the line between the two is often blurry. To avoid penalties for unnatural links (known as "link spam"), Google has made clear what should be avoided. Purchased links Google and Bing both seek to discount the influence of paid links in their organic search results. While a search engine can't know which links were earned vs. paid for from viewing the link itself, there are clues it uses to detect patterns that indicate foul play. Websites caught buying or selling followed links risk severe penalties that will severely drop their rankings. (By the way, exchanging goods or services for a link is also a form of payment and qualifies as buying links.) Link exchanges / reciprocal linking If you've ever received a "you link to me and I'll link you you" email from someone you have no affiliation with, you've been targeted for a link exchange. Google's quality guidelines caution against "excessive" link exchange and similar partner programs conducted exclusively for the sake of cross-linking, so there is some indication that this type of exchange on a smaller scale might not trigger any link spam alarms. It is acceptable, and even valuable, to link to people you work with, partner with, or have some other affiliation with and have them link back to you. It's the exchange of links at mass scale with unaffiliated sites that can warrant penalties. Low-quality directory links These used to be a popular source of manipulation. A large number of pay-for-placement web directories exist to serve this market and pass themselves off as legitimate, with varying degrees of success. These types of sites tend to look very similar, with large lists of websites and their descriptions (typically, the site's critical keyword is used as the anchor text to link back to the submittor's site). There are many more manipulative link building tactics that search engines have identified. In most cases, they have found algorithmic methods for reducing their impact. As new spam systems emerge, engineers will continue to fight them with targeted algorithms, human reviews, and the collection of spam reports from webmasters and SEOs. By and large, it isn't worth finding ways around them.

How to build high-quality backlinks

Link building comes in many shapes and sizes, but one thing is always true: link campaigns should always match your unique goals. With that said, there are some popular methods that tend to work well for most campaigns. This is not an exhaustive list, so visit Moz's blog posts on link building for more detail on this topic. Find customer and partner links If you have partners you work with regularly, or loyal customers that love your brand, there are ways to earn links from them with relative ease. You might send out partnership badges (graphic icons that signify mutual respect), or offer to write up testimonials of their products. Both of those offer things they can display on their website along with links back to you. Publish a blog This content and link building strategy is so popular and valuable that it's one of the few recommended personally by the engineers at Google. Blogs have the unique ability to contribute fresh material on a consistent basis, generate conversations across the web, and earn listings and links from other blogs. Careful, though — you should avoid low-quality guest posting just for the sake of link building. Google has advised against this and your energy is better spent elsewhere. Create unique resources Creating unique, high quality resources is no easy task, but it's well worth the effort. High quality content that is promoted in the right ways can be widely shared. It can help to create pieces that have the following traits: Elicits strong emotions (joy, sadness, etc.) Something new, or at least communicated in a new way Visually appealing Addresses a timely need or interest Location-specific (example: the most searched-for halloween costumes by state). Creating a resource like this is a great way to attract a lot of links with one page. You could also create a highly-specific resource — without as broad of an appeal — that targeted a handful of websites. You might see a higher rate of success, but that approach isn't as scalable. Users who see this kind of unique content often want to share it with friends, and bloggers/tech-savvy webmasters who see it will often do so through links. These high quality, editorially earned votes are invaluable to building trust, authority, and rankings potential. Build resource pages Resource pages are a great way to build links. However, to find them you'll want to know some Advanced Google operators to make discovering them a bit easier. For example, if you were doing link building for a company that made pots and pans, you could search for: cooking intitle:"resources" and see which pages might be good link targets. This can also give you great ideas for content creation — just think about which types of resources you could create that these pages would all like to reference/link to. Get involved in your local community For a local business (one that meets its customers in person), community outreach can result in some of the most valuable and influential links. Engage in sponsorships and scholarships. Host or participate in community events, seminars, workshops, and organizations. Donate to worthy local causes and join local business associations. Post jobs and offer internships. Promote loyalty programs. Run a local competition. Develop real-world relationships with related local businesses to discover how you can team up to improve the health of your local economy. All of these smart and authentic strategies provide good local link opportunities. Refurbish top content You likely already know which of your site's content earns the most traffic, converts the most customers, or retains visitors for the longest amount of time. Take that content and refurbish it for other platforms (Slideshare, YouTube, Instagram, Quora, etc.) to expand your acquisition funnel beyond Google. You can also dust off, update, and simply republish older content on the same platform. If you discover that a few trusted industry websites all linked to a popular resource that's gone stale, update it and let those industry websites know — you may just earn a good link. You can also do this with images. Reach out to websites that are using your images and not citing/linking back to you and ask if they'd mind including a link. Be newsworthy Earning the attention of the press, bloggers, and news media is an effective, time-honored way to earn links. Sometimes this is as simple as giving something away for free, releasing a great new product, or stating something controversial. Since so much of SEO is about creating a digital representation of your brand in the real world, to succeed in SEO, you have to be a great brand. Be personal and genuine The most common mistake new SEOs make when trying to build links is not taking the time to craft a custom, personal, and valuable initial outreach email. You know as well as anyone how annoying spammy emails can be, so make sure yours doesn't make people roll their eyes. Your goal for an initial outreach email is simply to get a response. These tips can help: Make it personal by mentioning something the person is working on, where they went to school, their dog, etc. Provide value. Let them know about a broken link on their website or a page that isn't working on mobile. Keep it short. Ask one simple question (typically not for a link; you'll likely want to build a rapport first). Earning Links Earning links can be very resource-intensive, so you'll likely want to measure your success to prove the value of those efforts. Metrics for link building should match up with the site's overall KPIs. These might be sales, email subscriptions, page views, etc. You should also evaluate Domain and/or Page Authority scores, the ranking of desired keywords, and the amount of traffic to your content.

Beyond links: How awareness, amplification, and sentiment impact authority

A lot of the methods you'd use to build links will also indirectly build your brand. In fact, you can view link building as a great way to increase awareness of your brand, the topics on which you're an authority, and the products or services you offer. Once your target audience knows about you and you have valuable content to share, let your audience know about it! Sharing your content on social platforms will not only make your audience aware of your content, but it can also encourage them to amplify that awareness to their own networks, thereby extending your own reach. Are social shares the same as links? No. But shares to the right people can result in links. Social shares can also promote an increase in traffic and new visitors to your website, which can grow brand awareness, and with a growth in brand awareness can come a growth in trust and links. The connection between social signals and rankings seems indirect, but even indirect correlations can be helpful for informing strategy. Trustworthiness goes a long way For search engines, trust is largely determined by the quality and quantity of the links your domain has earned, but that's not to say that there aren't other factors at play that can influence your site's authority. Think about all the different ways you come to trust a brand: Awareness (you know they exist) Helpfulness (they provide answers to your questions) Integrity (they do what they say they will) Quality (their product or service provides value; possibly more than others you've tried) Continued value (they continue to provide value even after you've gotten what you needed) Voice (they communicate in unique, memorable ways) Sentiment (others have good things to say about their experience with the brand) That last point is what we're going to focus on here. Reviews of your brand, its products, or its services can make or break a business. In your effort to establish authority from reviews, follow these review rules of thumb: Never pay any individual or agency to create a fake positive review for your business or a fake negative review of a competitor. Don't review your own business or the businesses of your competitors. Don't have your staff do so either. Never offer incentives of any kind in exchange for reviews. All reviews must be left directly by customers in their own accounts; never post reviews on behalf of a customer or employ an agency to do so. Don't set up a review station/kiosk in your place of business; many reviews stemming from the same IP can be viewed as spam. Read the guidelines of each review platform where you're hoping to earn reviews. Be aware that review spam is a problem that's taken on global proportions, and that violation of governmental truth-in-advertising guidelines has led to legal prosecution and heavy fines. It's just too dangerous to be worth it. Playing by the rules and offering exceptional customer experiences is the winning combination for building both trust and authority over time.

              Conclusion Authority is built when brands are doing great things in the real-world, making customers happy, creating and sharing great content, and earning links from reputable sources. Read the full article

[preciousmetals0]

Vaccine Dreams: Moderna, Sorrento and Novavax

Vaccine Dreams: Moderna, Sorrento and Novavax:

Damn the Torpedoes!

The U.S. economy’s got something. We both know it, but we don’t talk too much about it.

Ain’t no real big secret all the same. Somehow, we get around it.

Listen, it don’t really matter to Wall Street. Investors believe what they want to believe.

And what Wall Street believes right now is that you don’t have to live like a refugee.

This morning, Moderna Inc. (Nasdaq: MRNA) reported positive phase 1 results for its COVID-19 vaccine.

That’s right, dear reader: The cure is here. With the Dow surging more than 800 points, Wall Street doesn’t have a shadow of a doubt that the virus will be vanquished.

It’s once again “game on” for the economy, and even the losers stand to make big gains in the coming market boom.

Even President Trump was all “Damn the torpedoes!” this weekend, telling reporters at a Rose Garden event: “I just want to make something clear, it’s very important. Vaccine or no vaccine, we’re back.”

Now, I know that this seems real to you, but it’s one of those things you got to feel to be true.

Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell certainly feels it. Powell projected a 20% to 30% contraction in U.S. economic growth … but said in an interview on CBS’s 60 Minutes that the economy would avoid a Depression-like event:

I think there’s a good chance that there’ll be positive growth in the third quarter. And I think it’s a reasonable expectation that there’ll be growth in the second half of the year.

I would say though we’re not going to get back to where we were quickly. We won’t get back to where we were by the end of the year. That’s unlikely to happen.

Given the state of the U.S. labor market, contracting retail sales and the overall economic malaise, Powell is right to inject some caution.

Despite today’s massive market rally, now is not the time to go all-in. It’s gonna take time … a whole lot of precious time. It’s gonna take patience and time to do it right. (Yeah, I jumped from Petty to Harrison, so what?)

The vaccine headlines are promising, and it’s tempting to relax your safe haven bets and go all-in on this market. However, until a cure is readily available for everyone, there will be a lack of consumer confidence. And that means more bad economic news and more market volatility.

That said … I know you Great Stuff readers are eager to dip a toe in the market, especially with today’s rip-roaring rally ratcheting up the FOMO (fear of missing out).

So how do you tell a FOMO fake-out rally from a true tech trend? That’s where Paul Mampilly comes in…

Paul Mampilly knows that you want cutting-edge investments poised to lead America ahead. In fact, Paul just found one tech stock that’s set to transform the way we use and create energy.

Click here to find out more about the one tech stock that Paul recommends you buy now.

(Psst: If that dang Corona crash soured your appetite for buying stocks … Paul Mampilly has you covered here too. Click here to learn about his “rebound” method to spot opportunities when markets are irrational.)

Good: COVID-19 Cured?

We can all go home now; Sorrento Therapeutics Inc. (Nasdaq: SRNE) cured COVID-19. (Wait, we’re already home…)

The microcap biotech announced on Friday that its experimental treatment for COVID-19 cures the disease. In preclinical testing, Sorrento said that its coronavirus treatment provides “100% inhibition” of the virus within four days. The company claims that the drug will be the first to provide a “protective shield” against COVID-19.

It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for ‘em.

Turns out that Sorrento has only tested its cure on cells in a lab — i.e., no real-world testing at all. The company still needs FDA approval for animal testing, which comes before phase 1 testing with humans.

In short, Sorrento’s claims of a COVID-19 cure seem premature at best. Furthermore, given the company’s progress on the drug, competitors such as Moderna are sure to beat Sorrento to market. But that hasn’t stopped the stock from skyrocketing on the news.

SRNE stock is very “buyer beware” right now. The company has a promising drug in development, but it’s far from living up to the “cure” status Sorrento is pushing in the media. Hype may drive the stock higher over the short term, but investors should get their gains and get out before reality sets in.

Better: Get Your Bases COVID

All anyone can talk about lately in the biotech sector is COVID-19. It’s understandable, but there is so much more out there worth investing it!

Take Novavax Inc. (Nasdaq: NVAX), for instance. Yes, the company rocketed to fame for its COVID-19 vaccine development. But, Novavax is more than a one-trick pony, as its quarterly report detailed.

Novavax reported first-quarter revenue of $3.4 million and a loss of $0.58 per share. Both figures were stronger than Wall Street expected, pointing toward strong growth even before the coronavirus pandemic.

What’s more, even if Moderna beats Novavax to the punch on the COVID-19 vaccine, Novavax has another trick up its sleeve: its NanoFlu program.

NanoFlu is Novavax’s answer to the boring ol’ regular influenza. The flu vaccine is already in phase 3 testing and proved more effective at flu prevention than Sanofi S.A.’s (Nasdaq: SNY) Fluzone vaccine.

Given that nearly 49 million people in the U.S. still get the flu every year, Novavax has quite the market for its new flu vaccine. With NanoFlu and a COVID-19 vaccine in the works, it’s a one-two punch for NVAX investors that could pay off big down the road.

Best: Our Only Hope

Here’s how Wall Street apparently sees Moderna’s latest vaccine news:

Step 1: Humanity is saved.

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Profit.

Given the biotech’s phase 1 results, these steps may not be far off.

Moderna reported that all participants in its COVID-19 vaccine phase 1 study showed antibodies against the virus by day 15 — after receiving just one dose. Your body produces antibodies to fight off viruses, and it could indicate you’re immune to the disease.

Patients who received two doses of the vaccine showed antibody levels similar to patients who already recovered from COVID-19. Those who received three doses showed even higher antibody levels.

Moderna now heads into phase 2 trials to further determine effectiveness and dosing ranges. If you’re a biotech junkie looking for a company with the best COVID-19 vaccine potential, MRNA just jumped to the front of the line.

The stock is up more than 335% so far this year, and it’s likely heavily overvalued. However, if Moderna continues to release positive trial data, the stock’s vaccine-hype run is far from over.

Guys and gals, you’ll never guess what we have in store for you today…

I’m giddy with anticipation already. It’s simply incredible … and almost as unexpected as today’s broad-market rally.

Give it up for another week of the latest in earnings excitement! I can already hear your enthusiasm and cheering from here, so let’s dive in:

This week’s calendar comes courtesy of Earnings Whispers on Twitter. The first thing you’ll notice is a smattering of tech and e-commerce stocks reporting out of China: Baidu Inc. (Nasdaq: BIDU), Bilibili Inc. (Nasdaq: BILI), IQIYI Inc. (Nasdaq: IQ) and Alibaba Group Holding Ltd. (NYSE: BABA).

You’d need some steel hands to jump into the China waters nowadays … unless you’re a wild-eyed value hunter. Is anyone stateside invested in China at this point? (We’re genuinely curious: Tell us your take on Chinese stocks — tech or otherwise — at GreatStuffToday@BanyanHill.com.)

Aside from the China tech rundown, here’s what other earnings are up this week:

Ross Stores Inc. (Nasdaq: ROST) and TJX Cos. Inc. (NYSE: TJX): Two retailers that might cling on a while longer. Discount stores? People are thrifty at the best of times, let alone a recession, depression and armageddon. (It’s the thrill of the bargain!)

Walmart Inc. (NYSE: WMT) and Target Corp. (NYSE: TGT): Our two main barometers in consumer staples and retail. Not to mention, Target’s huge head start on the e-commerce game could come in clutch during the pandemic online shop-a-thon.

Home Depot Inc. (NYSE: HD), Lowe’s Cos. Inc. (NYSE: LOW): Let’s see what the DIY-ers have been up to. I swear, some people are renovating their entire house … and I’m grateful for a chance to sweep. (More sleeping … less doing. That’s home improvement.)

And that’s a wrap for today, but you bet that we’ll keep you up to speed with everything exciting (or unexciting) in this week’s heaping helping of earnings.

Remember, you can always catch us on social media: Facebook and Twitter. We hope you’re staying safe out there!

Until next time, stay Great!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

[goldira01]

Damn the Torpedoes!

The U.S. economy’s got something. We both know it, but we don’t talk too much about it.

Ain’t no real big secret all the same. Somehow, we get around it.

Listen, it don’t really matter to Wall Street. Investors believe what they want to believe.

And what Wall Street believes right now is that you don’t have to live like a refugee.

This morning, Moderna Inc. (Nasdaq: MRNA) reported positive phase 1 results for its COVID-19 vaccine.

That’s right, dear reader: The cure is here. With the Dow surging more than 800 points, Wall Street doesn’t have a shadow of a doubt that the virus will be vanquished.

It’s once again “game on” for the economy, and even the losers stand to make big gains in the coming market boom.

Even President Trump was all “Damn the torpedoes!” this weekend, telling reporters at a Rose Garden event: “I just want to make something clear, it’s very important. Vaccine or no vaccine, we’re back.”

Now, I know that this seems real to you, but it’s one of those things you got to feel to be true.

Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell certainly feels it. Powell projected a 20% to 30% contraction in U.S. economic growth … but said in an interview on CBS’s 60 Minutes that the economy would avoid a Depression-like event:

I think there’s a good chance that there’ll be positive growth in the third quarter. And I think it’s a reasonable expectation that there’ll be growth in the second half of the year.

I would say though we’re not going to get back to where we were quickly. We won’t get back to where we were by the end of the year. That’s unlikely to happen.

Given the state of the U.S. labor market, contracting retail sales and the overall economic malaise, Powell is right to inject some caution.

Despite today’s massive market rally, now is not the time to go all-in. It’s gonna take time … a whole lot of precious time. It’s gonna take patience and time to do it right. (Yeah, I jumped from Petty to Harrison, so what?)

The vaccine headlines are promising, and it’s tempting to relax your safe haven bets and go all-in on this market. However, until a cure is readily available for everyone, there will be a lack of consumer confidence. And that means more bad economic news and more market volatility.

That said … I know you Great Stuff readers are eager to dip a toe in the market, especially with today’s rip-roaring rally ratcheting up the FOMO (fear of missing out).

So how do you tell a FOMO fake-out rally from a true tech trend? That’s where Paul Mampilly comes in…

Paul Mampilly knows that you want cutting-edge investments poised to lead America ahead. In fact, Paul just found one tech stock that’s set to transform the way we use and create energy.

Click here to find out more about the one tech stock that Paul recommends you buy now.

(Psst: If that dang Corona crash soured your appetite for buying stocks … Paul Mampilly has you covered here too. Click here to learn about his “rebound” method to spot opportunities when markets are irrational.)

Good: COVID-19 Cured?

We can all go home now; Sorrento Therapeutics Inc. (Nasdaq: SRNE) cured COVID-19. (Wait, we’re already home…)

The microcap biotech announced on Friday that its experimental treatment for COVID-19 cures the disease. In preclinical testing, Sorrento said that its coronavirus treatment provides “100% inhibition” of the virus within four days. The company claims that the drug will be the first to provide a “protective shield” against COVID-19.

It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for ‘em.

Turns out that Sorrento has only tested its cure on cells in a lab — i.e., no real-world testing at all. The company still needs FDA approval for animal testing, which comes before phase 1 testing with humans.

In short, Sorrento’s claims of a COVID-19 cure seem premature at best. Furthermore, given the company’s progress on the drug, competitors such as Moderna are sure to beat Sorrento to market. But that hasn’t stopped the stock from skyrocketing on the news.

SRNE stock is very “buyer beware” right now. The company has a promising drug in development, but it’s far from living up to the “cure” status Sorrento is pushing in the media. Hype may drive the stock higher over the short term, but investors should get their gains and get out before reality sets in.

Better: Get Your Bases COVID

All anyone can talk about lately in the biotech sector is COVID-19. It’s understandable, but there is so much more out there worth investing it!

Take Novavax Inc. (Nasdaq: NVAX), for instance. Yes, the company rocketed to fame for its COVID-19 vaccine development. But, Novavax is more than a one-trick pony, as its quarterly report detailed.

Novavax reported first-quarter revenue of $3.4 million and a loss of $0.58 per share. Both figures were stronger than Wall Street expected, pointing toward strong growth even before the coronavirus pandemic.

What’s more, even if Moderna beats Novavax to the punch on the COVID-19 vaccine, Novavax has another trick up its sleeve: its NanoFlu program.

NanoFlu is Novavax’s answer to the boring ol’ regular influenza. The flu vaccine is already in phase 3 testing and proved more effective at flu prevention than Sanofi S.A.’s (Nasdaq: SNY) Fluzone vaccine.

Given that nearly 49 million people in the U.S. still get the flu every year, Novavax has quite the market for its new flu vaccine. With NanoFlu and a COVID-19 vaccine in the works, it’s a one-two punch for NVAX investors that could pay off big down the road.

Best: Our Only Hope

Here’s how Wall Street apparently sees Moderna’s latest vaccine news:

Step 1: Humanity is saved.

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Profit.

Given the biotech’s phase 1 results, these steps may not be far off.

Moderna reported that all participants in its COVID-19 vaccine phase 1 study showed antibodies against the virus by day 15 — after receiving just one dose. Your body produces antibodies to fight off viruses, and it could indicate you’re immune to the disease.

Patients who received two doses of the vaccine showed antibody levels similar to patients who already recovered from COVID-19. Those who received three doses showed even higher antibody levels.

Moderna now heads into phase 2 trials to further determine effectiveness and dosing ranges. If you’re a biotech junkie looking for a company with the best COVID-19 vaccine potential, MRNA just jumped to the front of the line.

The stock is up more than 335% so far this year, and it’s likely heavily overvalued. However, if Moderna continues to release positive trial data, the stock’s vaccine-hype run is far from over.

Guys and gals, you’ll never guess what we have in store for you today…

I’m giddy with anticipation already. It’s simply incredible … and almost as unexpected as today’s broad-market rally.

Give it up for another week of the latest in earnings excitement! I can already hear your enthusiasm and cheering from here, so let’s dive in:

This week’s calendar comes courtesy of Earnings Whispers on Twitter. The first thing you’ll notice is a smattering of tech and e-commerce stocks reporting out of China: Baidu Inc. (Nasdaq: BIDU), Bilibili Inc. (Nasdaq: BILI), IQIYI Inc. (Nasdaq: IQ) and Alibaba Group Holding Ltd. (NYSE: BABA).

You’d need some steel hands to jump into the China waters nowadays … unless you’re a wild-eyed value hunter. Is anyone stateside invested in China at this point? (We’re genuinely curious: Tell us your take on Chinese stocks — tech or otherwise — at GreatStuffToday@BanyanHill.com.)

Aside from the China tech rundown, here’s what other earnings are up this week:

Ross Stores Inc. (Nasdaq: ROST) and TJX Cos. Inc. (NYSE: TJX): Two retailers that might cling on a while longer. Discount stores? People are thrifty at the best of times, let alone a recession, depression and armageddon. (It’s the thrill of the bargain!)

Walmart Inc. (NYSE: WMT) and Target Corp. (NYSE: TGT): Our two main barometers in consumer staples and retail. Not to mention, Target’s huge head start on the e-commerce game could come in clutch during the pandemic online shop-a-thon.

Home Depot Inc. (NYSE: HD), Lowe’s Cos. Inc. (NYSE: LOW): Let’s see what the DIY-ers have been up to. I swear, some people are renovating their entire house … and I’m grateful for a chance to sweep. (More sleeping … less doing. That’s home improvement.)

And that’s a wrap for today, but you bet that we’ll keep you up to speed with everything exciting (or unexciting) in this week’s heaping helping of earnings.

Remember, you can always catch us on social media: Facebook and Twitter. We hope you’re staying safe out there!

Until next time, stay Great!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

[thisdaynews]

7 reporters recount a historic week in impeachment

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/7-reporters-recount-a-historic-week-in-impeachment/

7 reporters recount a historic week in impeachment

Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch during her Friday hearing before the House Intelligence Committee. | Joshua Roberts/Getty Images

History was made this week as public hearings began in the Democrats’ impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump.

It was difficult, but not impossible, to overlook this simple fact amid the blizzard of breaking news and onslaught of accusations, counter-claims and Twitter tirades.

The House speaker accused the president of bribery. The president attacked a diplomat during live testimony. Democrats cried witness tamperingon the same dayTrump’s key campaign adviser was convicted of the same charge (alongside six other felony counts) as Republicans scrambled to defend a president intent on defending himself.

It’s a lot to take in and break down, so we asked seven reporters who are covering the Trump presidency and the investigations what on earth just happened, and what in the world will happen next.

What happened this week that moved the dial and will be remembered when the history books get written on this?

Melanie Zanona, Congress reporter:The first public impeachment hearings in 21 years! That was enough to move the dial, no matter what happened. Now, whether that was enough to move public opinion remains to be seen … but there were definitely some standout moments. Like the surprise bombshell from William Taylor, who revealed his staffer overheard a phone call between Trump and another diplomat discussing “the investigations” into the Bidens. Or Marie Yovanovitch testifying about how she was mistreated by Trump administration officials — at the exact same time she was being attacked by President Donald Trump on Twitter, which was then promptly read out loud to her so she could respond in real time.

Anita Kumar, White House correspondent:There were a lot of important moments during the testimony this week but I was actually struck by something that happened outside the hearing room — the moment the speaker of the House accused the president of the United States of bribery. That’s one for the history books. “The devastating testimony corroborated evidence of bribery,” Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) told reporters at her weekly news conference. House Democrats ramped up their rhetoric this week in part to get more Americans’ understanding and support for their investigation. They traded in “quid pro quo” for “bribery” or “extortion.” Bribery, of course, is also one of the few reasons — “treason, bribery, and other high crimes and misdemeanors” — cited in the Constitution for impeachment.

Andrew Desiderio, Congress reporter:The mere fact that the House of Representatives began public impeachment hearings this week is historic on its own, given how rarely the impeachment process has been used in U.S. history. But beyond that, I think it was made clear to the public this week that, despite efforts by partisans on the left and the right to try to spin it to their political advantage, the story of Trump’s impeachment will generally come down to the unfiltered accounts of career, non-partisan Foreign Service officers and diplomats. That will hold true especially next week, when eight witnesses are expected to testify in a three-day span.

Kyle Cheney, Congress reporter:There’s a lot of competition for the worst week of the Trump presidency, but this has to rank in the top three. Roger Stone was convicted on seven felony charges for lying to protect Trump. Trump lost successive court decisions trying to shield his financial records from lawmakers and prosecutors.

But the most unforgettable image from this week that will stick with us is Trump’s attack on a witness of otherwise unquestioned character — not by Democrats or Republicans of any political faction — and the way it backfired in real time. Trump may not ultimately be removed from office, but the moment captured Trumpian defiance, and his sometimes self-destructive behavior, in its purest form and in one of the most perilous moments of his presidency.

Are Trump and his presidency in any more trouble than a week ago?

Nahal Toosi, foreign affairs correspondent:Well, he’s not in any less trouble. I was especially struck by U.S. diplomat Marie Yovanovitch’s testimony. She came across as a sympathetic figure given Trump’s decision to yank her out of Ukraine as his personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, was smearing her. Even Republicans treated her with caution and praised her service. But memories are short, and in a couple of weeks, the mood could be entirely different.

Anita:Maybe. House Democrats are under pressure to show more about how Trump himself was involved beyond, of course, what we already know from the July 25 call between him and the president of Ukraine. They managed to more directly tie Trump to the scandal when William Taylor, acting ambassador to Ukraine, testified that Trump supposedly asked Gordon Sondland, the U.S. ambassador to the European Union, about “the investigations” he wanted on a July 26 call. The call was overheard by at least two people.

Andrew:I’m not ready to say that quite yet. I think we entered this week with a high probability that the House would ultimately vote to impeach Trump in December — and I think the week largely ended with that same probability. Another obvious reason Trump isn’t in more trouble is that his GOP firewall in the Senate doesn’t appear to have cracked at all this week. Of course, that could change — especially as eight more witnesses testify in public next week. It is still the case that Trump is very likely to be impeached once the House wraps up its inquiry; it also remains true that the Senate is very likely to acquit him. Nothing that happened this week changed that.

Kyle:Trump proved that the biggest trouble from his presidency comes from within. It became clear that there are limits to Trump’s trust-my-gut impeachment defense, so to the degree he recognizes that he’s not winning the battle for America’s hearts and minds on impeachment, it could have a significant effect on the rest of his presidency.

What is the biggest outstanding question you have for Donald Trump in the Ukraine scandal?

Anita:My question is a big one: Why? I’ve been covering the Trump presidency since Day One and I’m constantly asking this question. I know I should be used to it by now but somehow it still surprises me. Why does he do things that he knows other people will criticize him for? After all, politicians are supposed to care what other people think. When I recently wrote about Trump choosing to hold the G-7 summit of world leaders at one of his family’s resorts, I asked people close to him this question. I was told that he has become “fearless” because he has seen over and over again that he won’t lose the backing of supporters no matter what seemingly outrageous action he takes. “He has demonstrated he’s bulletproof,” someone that used to work for him told me. I’d still like Trump to answer the why.

Natasha Bertrand, national security correspondent: My questions are less for Trump and more for the Office of Management and Budget officials who were tasked with carrying out his order to suspend military aid to Ukraine in July. They could provide testimony on the president’s motivations and state of mind when he asked for the funds to be held up, which, as my colleagues Kyle and Andrew have pointed out, remains elusive for the Democrats. Former OMB Director Mick Mulvaney, now the president’s acting chief of staff, was reportedly involved in conversations about suspending the aid until Ukraine opened the investigations Trump sought, and an OMB official was the first to brief the interagency about the hold. Mulvaney has refused to comply with a congressional subpoena to testify, and so far, only one senior Budget official has agreed to comply with a subpoena. Three other OMB officials, Russ Vought, Michael Duffey and Brian McCormack, have also refused to appear.

Melanie:Marie Yovanovitch actually put it perfectly: Why was it necessary to smear her reputation before ousting her as ambassador to Ukraine? Republicans have argued that the president has the right to appoint whomever he wants to serve as an ambassador. But that doesn’t explain why there was an effort to gin up negative news stories about her and personally damage her reputation.

What did we learn this week about how Trump will fight impeachment?

Anita:Trump continues to do what we’ve come to expect of him — talk, tweet, say whatever he wants, without sticking to Republican talking points. But his aides, at least, began to develop a more coherent, organized message. The White House, Trump’s campaign and the Republican National Committee set up rapid response teams to push back on testimony in real time — similar to what they did during special counsel Robert Mueller’s testimony about the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election and Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearings.

Kyle:Trump is willing to go where even his GOP defenders won’t. His direct attack on Ambassador Yovanovitch — in the middle of her testimony — was not only ignored by the Republicans on the impeachment panel but refuted. One after another they praised Yovanovitch’s service, leaving Trump isolated in his willingness to impugn her integrity.

Melanie:The same way he fights everything: attack, attack, attack. He has continued to act as a one-man war room in the impeachment fight, and at times, has undercut his own party’s defense strategy. Trump’s mid-hearing attack on Yovanovitch blew up the GOP’s carefully orchestrated plan not to personally go after Yovanovitch and turn her into an even more sympathetic character.

Andrew:Trump will continue to speak in direct, absolute terms as he defends himself against charges that he abused the power of his presidency — even if he makes life harder for his congressional GOP allies. We saw evidence of that on Friday, when Trump attacked Yovanovitch while Republicans on the Intelligence Committee were praising her service and largely taking pains not to harangue the veteran diplomat. We’ve seen this movie before: Trump has repeatedly dubbed his July 25 phone call with the Ukrainian president “perfect,” but none of his allies on Capitol Hill have described the call that way. Some have even said the call itself was inappropriate — but, they stress, not impeachable. Still, Trump has made clear that those defenses aren’t good enough. He demands complete loyalty.

What should we make of Senate Republicans trying to stretch out an impeachment trial to make life difficult for 2020 Democratic candidates who also serve in the Senate?

Melanie:It’s actually not clear that Republicans will try to stretch out the trial — they haven’t even started negotiations over the chamber’s impeachment proceedings. And keep in mind, while a long trial might hurt 2020 presidential candidates, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has his own vulnerable senators to protect. They won’t want to be there any more than the Democratic candidates.

Shifting gears, what did we learn about Donald Trump from the Roger Stone trial?

Darren Samuelsohn, senior White House reporter:

Here’s where I can actually offer up something substantive, as these last two weeks have been a crash-course rerun on all things WikiLeaks, Julian Assange and Robert Mueller’s attempts to learn what had happened in 2016.

Trump’s name got dropped dozens of times during the course of the Stone’s trial, which ended Friday with a guilty verdict on all seven courts. Stone lied to protect Trump, the prosecutors said. And phone records show Stone called Trump 60 times during the final 11 months of the presidential campaign, including three times during which they appear to have talked about the Democratic document dumps.

We also learned that many of the high-ranking people around Trump were clued in to what Stone was up to, including Jared Kushner, Paul Manafort, Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller.

Now that Stone’s been convicted and is looking at a couple years of prison time, all the focus shifts to Trump and whether he’ll heed calls from MAGA-world to pardon his longtime friend and political adviser. Buckle up.

Whose testimony are you most looking forward to next week?

Andrew:Gordon Sondland’s testimony on Wednesday morning, with no other witnesses beside him, will be fascinating for a number of reasons — chief among them, William Taylor’s revelation this week of a previously unknown phone call between Trump and Sondland that one of Taylor’s staffers overheard. Republicans said Taylor’s testimony about the call — that his aide overheard Trump asking about “the investigations” and that Sondland said the Ukrainians were ready to move forward — was simply second- and third-hand information. But when Sondland appears before lawmakers, it’ll be the first time he addresses the claim. If Taylor’s account of the call is correct, it’s another data point Democrats can use to connect Trump directly to the scandal. Sondland’s public appearance will also present Democrats with an opportunity to put his revised testimony on camera, most notably Sondland’s testimony that he told a top Ukrainian official that the country “likely” would not receive military aid absent public announcements of the investigations Trump was seeking.

Nahal:Gordon Sondland. Gordon Sondland. Gordon Sondland. I cannot WAIT to see him in the spotlight. He’ll be testifying on Wednesday, and he’s one of the people who had direct interaction with Trump on the issue of Ukraine. He’s already had to revise his private testimony and has effectively admitted there was a quid pro quo. I. Cannot. Wait.

Natasha: Gordon Sondland for sure, but also Fiona Hill. Her no-nonsense responses to questioning during a closed-door deposition could make for a very interesting hearing, and as the former top Europe and Russia adviser on Trump’s National Security Council, she could offer up some new, first-hand information on the conversations surrounding Ukraine policy at the White House as Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani conducted his backchannel diplomacy. It will also be difficult for Republicans to maintain their argument that all the witnesses called so far in the inquiry have only had “hearsay” to offer — the witnesses testifying next week, including Volker, Sondland, Tim Morrison, and Hill, spoke directly with the president about Ukraine on several occasions.

Anita:Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, Ukraine specialist on the National Security Council staff, will be the first person who was on the July 25 call between Trump and Zelensky to testify. Trump and House Republicans keep arguing that Democrats are relying on “hearsay.” Vindman’s testimony will be a first-hand account. Not only that but he makes two serious allegations — the White House released a summary of the call that was missing references to the Bidens and the top NSC lawyer who he spoke to about his concerns about the call told him to keep quiet.

Kyle:Curveball. I’m interested in Kurt Volker. He’s a witness Republicans wanted to call because during his closed-door deposition, he was reluctant to acknowledge that the actions Trump took amounted to a quid pro quo. But Volker also was the very first witness in the entire inquiry. And he’ll now be testifying with the benefit of having seen his colleagues testify and read the transcripts of others, including some who put him closer to the center of the action than was initially understood.

Read More

[bountyofbeads]

🍁🏈🍂🏀🍁🏈🍂🏀🍁🏈🍂🏀🍁🏈

Live updates: Ukraine envoy, fearing loss of job, told to tweet support for Trump; White House lawyer defies House subpoena

By John Wagner, Felicia Sonmez, Elise Viebeck and Brittany Shammas | Published November 04 at 2:16 PM ET |

Washington Post | Posted Nov. 4, 2019 |

House investigators on Monday released the first transcripts from closed-door depositions taken as part of the impeachment inquiry as four White House officials, including John Eisenberg, a lawyer central to the Ukraine controversy, defied subpoenas to testify.

The refusals to cooperate are coming on a day in which Trump tweeted that he sees “no reason” for lawmakers to summon witnesses regarding his July call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, which he again contended was “perfect.”

House Democrats are encountering renewed stonewalling from the White House as they attempt to move deeper into the ranks of officials with knowledge of Trump’s efforts to press Ukraine to investigate former vice president Joe Biden and his son Hunter Biden at a time when U.S. military aid was being withheld from that country.

House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam B. Schiff (D-Calif.) said that open hearings would begin “soon,” though he provided no timetable. He spoke to reporters shortly after the release of transcripts of Marie Yovanovitch, the former ambassador to Ukraine, and P. Michael McKinley, a former adviser to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo.

______

1:55 p.m.: Trump says America only wanted to talk about the Nationals — and impeachment

At an event at the White House honoring the Washington Nationals for their World Series win, Trump joked that the country only wanted to focus on two things — the Nats and impeachment — in the weeks leading up to the team’s victory.

“Throughout this season, the Nationals captured the hearts of baseball fans across the region and across the country. America fell in love with the Nats baseball. They just fell in love with Nats baseball. That’s all they wanted to talk about — that and impeachment.”

“I like Nats baseball much more,” Trump said with a smile.

The crowd on the South Lawn of the White House reacted with laughter and applause.

______

1:50 p.m.: Yovanovitch felt ‘threatened’ by Trump after reading an account of his call with Zelensky

Yovanovitch, who was recalled in May as ambassador to Ukraine, said she was shocked by Trump’s statement to the Ukrainian president that she was “going to go through some things.”

Trump made the statement in a July 25 call with Zelensky in which both leaders complained about her work on behalf of the United States. Yovanovitch, whose superiors at the State Department have defended her tenure, said she felt threatened by the president’s remarks even though she wasn’t entirely sure what Trump meant.

She said she wondered whether the FBI had opened an investigation into her conduct or whether she might be fired. Her friends worried about her personal safety, she said.

“You know, there’s a universe of what it could mean,” she said, of the president’s veiled threat.

Yovanovitch didn’t learn of the specifics of Trump’s call with Zelensky until the White House released a detailed account of it in late September. She said she was “surprised and dismayed” by Trump’s efforts to pressure Zelensky to deliver dirt on Biden. She also was taken aback by the prominent role she played in the call.

“I was very surprised that...I would feature repeatedly in a presidential phone call, but secondly that the president would speak about me or any ambassador in that way to a foreign counterpart.”

— Greg Jaffe

__:___

1:45 p.m.: Yovanovitch felt undermined by Trump’s son

Yovanovitch spoke of how the “avalanche of attacks” on her in the spring greatly concerned her, according to the transcript of her testimony. They included a March tweet by Donald Trump Jr. that obliquely took aim at her, saying “we need …less of these jokers as ambassadors.”

Yovanovitch sent a classified email to Undersecretary for Political Affairs David Hale, documenting her concerns. She said she told Hale “the State Department needed to come out and come out strong” in her support “because otherwise it just wasn’t a sustainable position.”

Asked how not, Yovanovitch said: “If you have the president’s son saying, you know, ‘We need to pull these clowns,’ or however he referred to me, it makes it hard to be a credible ambassador in a country.”

Hale promised he would speak to Pompeo, but she never heard back, she said. No statement was ever issued. When she asked acting Assistant Secretary Phil Reeker about it, she said, “I was told that there was caution about any kind of a statement because it could be undermined.”

Asked by whom, she said: “The president.”

— Ellen Nakashima

_____:

1:35 p.m.: McKinley defends Yovanovitch, calls her ‘excellent’

In his session with impeachment investigators, McKinley defended the work of Yovanovitch, the target of a smear campaign led by Trump personal attorney Rudolph W. Giuliani and his associates.

Yovanovitch testified that Giuliani’s Ukrainian contacts sought to ruin her career because she was battling corruption in Ukraine, which undercut them financially.

McKinley described Yovanovitch as “excellent, serious, committed” and “one of those people who seemed to be destined for greater things” — even though Trump called her “bad news” during the July 25 call with Zelensky.

“She’s going to go through some things,” Trump told Zelensky, according to a readout of the call released by the White House.

McKinley testified that he was disturbed when he read those words from Trump and said it was clear that Yovanovitch had been “caught up in something that had nothing to do with the way that she performed her duties in Kyiv.”

He also said such comments — in which a president disparaged an ambassador to the leader of the nation where she is serving — “creates difficulties for the Ambassador on the ground.”

“As a Foreign Service Officer, to see the impugning of somebody I know to be a serious, committed colleague in that manner that it was done raised alarm bells for me,” he told investigators.

— Rachael Bade

______

1:30 p.m.: Yovanovitch says she was told to tweet support for Trump

Yovanovitch testified that she feared her job was in jeopardy because of criticism from conservatives, according to the transcript released Monday, and reached out to Gordon Sondland, the U.S. ambassador to the European Union.

“You know, you need to go big or go home,” she said Sondland told her. “You need to, you know, tweet out there that you support the president and that all these are lies and everything else.”

Yovanovitch said she thought that was beneath the job of someone in a diplomatic position but suggested that Pompeo make a statement in her defense. It never came, she testified, because “there was concern that the rug would be pulled out from underneath the State Department if they put out something publicly.”

— Karoun Demirjian

______

1:15 p.m.: GOP lawmakers claim transcripts being released selectively

As the first transcripts from were made public on Monday, Republicans claimed that they were being released selectively to buoy the Democrats’ case against the president.

Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) said on Twitter that Democrats “cherry pick which transcripts they release and when” and questioned why the transcript of Kurt Volker, the former special U.S. envoy to Ukraine, was not released. He noted that Volker was the first witness called in the impeachment inquiry.

Schiff said during a Monday news conference that the depositions of Volker and Sondland will be released Tuesday.

“We will continue to release the transcripts in an orderly way,” he said.

Rep. Jody Hice (R-Ga.) charged that Schiff was being “highly selective” in choosing what to release in the impeachment “hoax,” while Rep. Doug Lamborn (R-Colo.) said Democrats were publishing only the records that “benefit their narrative.”

“The fact that Dems are only releasing transcripts that benefit their narrative shows this process is a sham,” Lamborn tweeted. “Schiff’s soviet-style secret ‘investigation’ cannot continue; the people deserve access to all of the docs. This is a total partisan hit-job to get @realDonaldTrump.”

______

12:40 p.m.: Kupperman lawsuit will not delay work, Schiff says

Schiff said the work of House investigators will not be delayed by a lawsuit filed by deputy national security adviser Charles Kupperman.

Kupperman, who served as deputy to former national security adviser John Bolton, filed a lawsuit last month to try to resolve conflicting orders from Congress and the White House over his participation in the investigation into Trump’s efforts to pressure Ukraine to investigate the president’s political rivals.

A hearing in the case has been set for Dec. 10.

“We’re not going to delay our work,” Schiff said.

He said his committee will begin public hearings “soon” but did not provide a timetable.

🍁 🍞🍂☕🍁🍞🍂☕🍁🍞🍂☕🍁🍞

7 takeaways from Marie Yovanovitch’s and Michael McKinley’s Ukraine testimony

By Aaron Blake and Amber Phillips | Published November 04 at 1:58 PM ET |

Washington Post |Posted Nov. 4, 2019 |

We got our first glimpse of full closed-door testimony in the House’s impeachment inquiry on Monday. After getting piecemeal information about previous witnesses, the House released full transcripts from the depositions of former Ukraine ambassador Marie Yovanovitch and former top State Department aide Michael McKinley, who recently resigned in protest.

[Transcript: Marie Yovanovitch's testimony on Website ]

[Transcript: Michael McKinley’s testimony on Website ]

There is perhaps nothing earth-shattering in the two documents, but they do fill out the picture of a concerted effort by Trump allies to remove Yovanovitch — and a State Department willing to go only so far to defend her.

1. An ominous allusion to Yovanovitch’s ‘security’

In perhaps the most intriguing passage — and one that will require more inquiry — Yovanovitch says she was told she needed to return from Ukraine in late April because of concerns about her “security.”

She said she spoke at 1 a.m. Ukraine time with Director General of the Foreign Service Carol Perez, who told her to catch the next flight home.

“She said that there was a lot of concern for me, that I needed to be on the next plane home to Washington,” Yovanovitch said. “And I was like, what? What happened? And she said, I don’t know, but this is about your security. You need to come home immediately. You need to come home on the next plane.”

Yovanovtich was pressed on what Perez meant about her “security,” but Perez didn’t seem to know much:

YOVANOVITCH: And I said, physical security? I mean, is there something going on here in the Ukraine? Because sometimes Washington has intel or something else that we don’t necessarily know. And she said, no, I didn’t get that impression, but you need to come back immediately. And, I mean, I argued with her. I told her I thought it was really unfair that she was pulling me out of post without any explanation, I mean, really none, and so summarily.

Q: She didn’t give you an explanation for why it had to be so soon?

YOVANOVITCH: She said it was for my security, that this was for my well-being, people were concerned.

Q: What did you understand that to mean?

YOVANOVITCH: I didn’t know because she didn’t say, but my assumption was that, you know, something had happened, some conversations or something, and that, you know, now it was important that I had to leave immediately because I didn’t really know.

It would seem the investigations might inquire where Perez got this impression. Saying someone is under political duress is one thing; saying it’s a matter of their “security” is another.

2. She said she felt ‘threatened’ by Trump

Yovanovitch said that when she saw the transcript of the phone call between Trump and Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky, in which Trump said of Yovanovitch, “She’s going to go through some things,” she felt threatened:

Q: What did you understand that to mean?

YOVANOVITCH: I didn’t know what it meant. I was very concerned. I still am.

Q: Did you feel threatened?

YOVANOVITCH: Yes.

3. Another Ukraine official expressed concerns about being roped into U.S. politics

The official is Ukrainian Interior Minister Arsen Avakov. Yovanovitch says he told her this in February:

Q: What were his concerns as expressed to you?

YOVANOVITCH: He thought it was — so he thought it was very dangerous, that Ukraine, since its independence, has had bipartisan support from both Democrats and Republicans all these years, and that to start kind of getting into U.S. politics, into U.S. domestic politics, was a dangerous place for Ukraine to be.

Yovanovitch said Avakov specifically cited former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort’s “black ledger” and unsubstantiated allegations about Ukrainian interference in the U.S. election and Joe Biden.

We already know that top Ukrainian defense official Oleksandr Danyliuk expressed concern to Yovanovitch’s replacement, William B. Taylor, about Zelensky being used as a “pawn” for Trump’s reelection campaign, according to Taylor’s testimony. There was also a May meeting in which Zelensky and top aides spent much of three hours trying to figure out how to navigate their tough position and avoid becoming wrapped up in U.S. politics, according to AP.

It seems the concern was quite widespread, and it began even earlier than previously known.

4. Sondland told Yovanovitch to tweet support of Trump

Yovanovitch says Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland urged her to tweet her support of President Trump to help save her job.

“He hadn’t been aware of” the campaign against her, Yovanovitch said, adding that, “he said, you know, you need to go big or go home. You need to, you know, tweet out there that you support the president, and that all these are lies and everything else.”

Asked whether Sondland’s suggestion was as explicit as that, Yovanovitch added, “I mean, he may not have used the words ‘support President Trump,’ but he said, 'You know the President — well, maybe you don’t know him personally, but you know, you know the sorts of things that he likes. You know, go out there battling aggressively and, you know, praise him or support him.”

Yovanovitch said she didn’t heed the suggestion because, “It was advice that I did not see how I could implement in my role as an Ambassador, and as a Foreign Service officer.”

This is merely the latest example of the politicization of certain elements of the Foreign Service — and the fact that people around Trump know the ticket to his good graces is personal praise.

5. McKinley resigned in part because he thought the State Department was being used for a political mission

McKinley has spent nearly 40 years working in foreign service and indicated he felt that what was happening around him was undermining the mission of American diplomats. This was the gist of reporting around his testimony in October, but this is the first time we’re hearing the former senior adviser to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo say it on the record:

In terms of supporting our values, we’re also the front line in promoting issues of human rights, democracy, and cooperation internationally. In this context, frankly, to see the emerging information on the engagement of our missions to procure negative political information for domestic purposes, combined with the failure I saw in the building to provide support for our professional cadre in a particularly trying time, I think the combination was a pretty good reason to decide enough, that I had—I had no longer a useful role to play.

Later, a questioner asked whether it’s fair to say he resigned in part because he couldn’t be blind to using the State Department to dig up dirt on a political opponent.

“That is fair,” he said, adding: “And if I can underscore, in 37 years in the Foreign Service and different parts of the globe and working on many controversial issues, working 10 years back in Washington, I had never seen that.”

6. Pompeo put the brakes on a public statement in support of Yovanovitch

We don’t know why Pompeo stopped it, but McKinley’s said Pompeo’s determination not to issue a statement supporting Yovanovitch after the release of the transcript of Trump’s call contributed to his decision to resign then rather than in November, as he had planned. It underscores the serious divide between political officials at the State Department like Pompeo and career officials like McKinley. Being a bridge between those two worlds was McKinley’s job.

McKinley asked Yovanovitch whether she wanted a statement of support, testifying it would be “the appropriate thing” to do. He was surprised no one else at senior levels had reached out. He testified that she said, “Yes, I would welcome it.” And he got four other senior officials on board. Then Pompeo intervened to stop it. From the transcript:

Q: What happened next?

A: Probably a couple hours later [State Department spokesperson] Morgan [Ortagus] reached out to me by phone and told me that the Secretary had decided that it was better not to release a statement at this time and that it would be in part to protect Ambassador Yovanovitch not draw undue attention to her.

McKinley said he had three conversations with Pompeo about this, eventually deciding to resign in part over the decision. And he made sure to let Pompeo know: “And in presenting my resignation, I made clear that I was looking to leave the Department, I wasn’t looking to create any news story out of it, but that he should be aware that, of course, part of the reason, people were very aware that I was concerned about what I saw as the lack of public support for Department employees,” he testified.

7. McKinley took issue with Pompeo’s letter to Congress

At the very least, McKinley didn’t think Pompeo was supporting State Department personnel in this inquiry the way Pompeo claimed he was.

Let’s back up for a minute. Very early in the impeachment inquiry, Pompeo told the Democratic heads of the investigatory committees that State Department officials wouldn’t be cooperating (obviously, that didn’t hold). McKinley didn’t read the letter, but another senior colleague, George Kent, the deputy assistant secretary of state responsible for Ukraine, did. Kent wrote a memo that McKinley did read and said it was pretty rough on Pompeo. It “includes allegations of intimidation and bullying and questions accuracy—I don’t know whether I used the word—and raises questions about whether there are lies in statements, you know. And then I said: ‘And this is why we really need to do something forcefully for our colleagues in the Foreign Service. And I also mentioned, frankly, the legal fees concern that I had.’ ”

He later testified it is “correct” that Kent felt concerned he and others asked to testify in the impeachment inquiry were being bullied by the State Department. Kent has testified he was told to “lay low” on Ukraine policy and let Trump’s political appointees handle it.

McKinley is an ancillary witness to the central allegations against Trump, that the president politicized U.S. foreign policy for personal gain. He did not oversee Ukraine issues and wasn’t on the July call with Ukraine’s president. His testimony does indicate he thought Trump’s political allies were politicizing the State Department in a way that would be consistent with the allegations facing the president.

🍁 🍞🍂☕🍁🍞🍂☕🍁🍞🍂☕🍁🍞

The 6 public confirmations of a quid pro quo between Trump and Ukraine

By Aaron Blake | Published November 04 at 10:56 AM EST | Washington Post | Posted November 4, 2019 |

White House official Alexander Vindman on Tuesday became the latest high-ranking government official to give an account of an incident that confirms a quid pro quo between the Trump team and Ukraine — something the White House previously dismissed entirely.

But not all of the confirming statements we’ve seen or heard are created equal. Below, we explain each one, along with how serious it is.

1) ALEXANDER VINDMAN

The lieutenant colonel and National Security Council aide testified Oct. 29 that European Union Ambassador Gordon Sondland said that Ukraine’s long-sought meeting between its president, Volodymyr Zelensky, and President Trump was conditioned on specific investigations — including ones involving the Bidens and a conspiracy theory about the origins of the Russia investigation.

Vindman said Sondland’s admission came after a meeting with a top Ukrainian official, Oleksandr Danylyuk.

The key quotes: “Amb. Sondland started to speak about Ukraine delivering specific investigations to secure the meeting with the president, at which time [national security adviser John] Bolton cut the meeting short. Following this meeting, there was a scheduled debriefing during which Amb. Sondland emphasized the importance that Ukraine deliver the investigations into the 2016 election, the Bidens, and Burisma [Holdings, which employed Hunter Biden].

“I stated to Amb. Sondland that his statements were inappropriate, that the request to investigate Biden and his son had nothing to do with national security, and that such investigations were not something the NSC was going to get involved in or push. [Fellow NSC aide Fiona] Hill then entered the room and asserted to Amb. Sondland that his statements were inappropriate. Following the debriefing meeting, I reported my concerns to the NSC’s lead counsel."

Why it’s big: Vindman asserts that the looming request was so inappropriate that Bolton shut a meeting down and that two NSC aides formally raised concerns, including with Sondland personally.

What it doesn’t say: Vindman in his prepared statement doesn’t quite indicate the Bidens and the 2016 election investigations were explicitly broached in the meeting with Danylyuk — perhaps because it was cut short. Instead, Vindman says Sondland mentioned them explicitly afterward.

2) WILLIAM B. TAYLOR

Taylor testified last week that he was informed that Sondland had explicitly conveyed a quid pro quo involving hundreds of millions of dollars in military aid to another top Ukrainian official, Andriy Yermak. Taylor also said Sondland told him directly that the quid pro quo also involved a meeting between Trump and Zelensky.

Key quotes: “During this same phone call I had with [NSC aide Tim] Morrison [on Sept. 1], he went on to describe a conversation Ambassador Sondland had with Mr. Yermak at [a meeting in] Warsaw. Ambassador Sondland told Mr. Yermak that the security assistance money would not come until President Zelensky committed to pursue the Burisma investigation.

“Ambassador Sondland also told me that he now recognized that he had made a mistake by earlier telling the Ukrainian officials to whom he spoke that a White House meeting with President Zelensky was dependent on a public announcement of investigations — in fact, Ambassador Sondland said, ‘everything’ was dependent on such an announcement, including security assistance."

Why it’s big: It’s the most substantial indication that the quid pro quo was communicated directly to Ukraine.

What it doesn’t say: The actual communication of the quid pro quo to Ukraine is secondhand, meaning Morrison’s testimony will be key (as is Sondland’s, which occurred earlier this month). Taylor says Sondland also told him there was a quid pro quo, but Taylor didn’t personally witness the communication of that to Ukraine.

3) TIM MORRISON

Morrison confirmed the core elements of Taylor’s testimony in his own deposition.

Key quote: “I can confirm that the substance of his statement, as it relates to conversations he and I had, is accurate.”

Why it’s big: It’s the second major confirmation of an explicit quid pro quo between Sondland and Ukrainian officials. It also comes from a witness who doesn’t seem inclined to blow the whistle on Trump. “I am proud of what I have been able, in some small way, to help the Trump administration to accomplish,” Morrison said at the end of his opening statement.

What it doesn’t say: Morrison at another point offers a defense of Trump, saying, “I want to be clear, I was not concerned that anything illegal was discussed” on Trump’s July 25 phone call with Zelensky. He also quibbled with two relatively minor details that Taylor recalled. But that doesn’t change the fact that he confirmed the thrust of Taylor’s account.

4) GORDON SONDLAND

Sondland’s attorney told the Wall Street Journal that Sondland testified to some kind of a quid pro quo. Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) also said Sondland described a quid pro quo to him.

Key quotes: Both of these come from the Wall Street Journal. Here’s one:

Mr. Johnson said he learned of the potential arrangement involving military aid through a phone call with Mr. [Gordon] Sondland that occurred the day before Mr. Johnson spoke to Mr. Trump. Under the arrangement, Mr. Johnson said Mr. Sondland told him, Ukraine would appoint a strong prosecutor general and move to “get to the bottom of what happened in 2016 — if President Trump has that confidence, then he’ll release the military spending,” recounted Mr. Johnson.

“At that suggestion, I winced,” Mr. Johnson said. “My reaction was: Oh, God. I don’t want to see those two things combined.”

And here’s the other:

Gordon Sondland, the U.S. ambassador to the European Union, told House committees that he believed Ukraine agreeing to open investigations into Burisma Group — a gas company where Democrat Joe Biden’s son once served on the board — and into alleged 2016 election interference was a condition for a White House meeting between Mr. Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, Mr. Sondland’s lawyer Robert Luskin said.

Asked by a lawmaker whether that arrangement was a quid pro quo, Mr. Sondland cautioned that he wasn’t a lawyer but said he believed the answer was yes, Mr. Luskin said.

Why they’re big: Sondland is about as central to this effort as it comes.

What they don’t say: Sondland saying he “believed” there was a quid pro quo isn’t quite the same as him admitting to having conveyed a quid pro quo. In addition, Johnson’s recollection of what Sondland told him is secondhand.

5) Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.)

The same day as his Wall Street Journal interview, Johnson told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that Trump himself conveyed the quid pro quo to him in a phone call, and that it involved the conspiracy theory about the Russia investigation. Johnson said he was trying to get Trump to release the military aid when Trump made the admission.

Key quote: “I didn’t succeed [in getting Trump to release the aid]. But the president was very consistent on why he was considering it. Again, it was corruption, overall, generalized — but yeah, no doubt about it, what happened in 2016 — what happened in 2016, as relates? What was the truth about that?”

The comments are at about the 4:45 mark here:

Why it’s big: Johnson is the only one thus far attributing the quid pro quo to Trump personally.

What it doesn’t say: Johnson’s language is somewhat jumbled. And he’s saying only that Trump said there was a quid pro quo — not that it was communicated to Ukraine.

6) Mick Mulvaney

The acting White House chief of staff said in a news conference two weeks ago that military aid was indeed withheld over Ukraine not investigating the Russia probe conspiracy theory involving a Democratic National Committee email server. He later walked it back.

Key quote: “[Did Trump] also mention to me, in the past, that the corruption related to the DNC server? Absolutely, no question about that. But that’s it. And that’s why we held up the money. … The look back to what happened in 2016 certainly was part of the thing that he was worried about in corruption with that nation. And that is absolutely appropriate.”

Why it’s big: Mulvaney is about as central to this as Sondland, and he’s arguably more tied to Trump as his acting chief of staff.

Why it’s maybe not: Mulvaney walked it back, saying, “There never was any condition on the flow of the aid related to the matter of the DNC server.” And even with his initial admission, he didn’t say the quid pro quo was communicated to Ukraine.