#when ur tags are longer than the actual response... im so sorry..

[just-some-random-blogger]

Can i request some cregan, like reader having her first time with him?

A/N: i know you said *HAVING her first time, but im not in a smut mood. I AM IN A CREGAN MOOD THO. this has been holed up here for a while now, so anon, if ur reading this, sorry no smut but I hope you like fluff. edit: the fic died and now im sad so the fic is sad pls i hate hormones

Frosty Lips

As a girl, you never imagined you would one day be wed to the to the Warden of the North. As a grown woman, you can't imagine ever being in the arms of another.

Cregan Stark x Reader | 500> | cw: fem!reader, fluff, smitten!Cregan, domestic life, typos, etc.

Tagging: @aneurins-barnard because her gif is LICHRALY the reason why I wanna write at all EVERYONE SAY thank you eli. also @arabellasleopardcoat HI!!!! LOOK ITS CREGAN!

Cregan rubs your bare shoulder and kisses the spot that connects to your collar. He rubs your arm, adjusting the blanket on you.

It was late, and he knew it. From the way the sun shone from out the window, he figured it was possibly noonday already.

He slowly pulls away from you and for the fourth time, you pull him back into your chest, groaning in disapproval.

He sighs.

You rub your cool hands down his bare back and he rubs his nose into your neck as a response, mumbling, "we must wake, my heart."

He feels your head shake. A sighs yet again, though devoid of any actual frustration; his eyes were brimming with endearment and amusement as he watches you pretend to sleep.

He speaks your name, meaning to sound vaguely threatening.

You frown and crawl atop him, "no."

"Gods be good," he mutters, clenching his teeth as you kiss his jaw. It was a losing battle, there was no way he was going to push you off, not when you were so warm and wanting.

"Must we rouse?" you mutter, "aren't I owed more time with my lord?"

Cregan's breath hitches.

You snake your arms around him, "we've just had our wedding night."

"Aye," he strokes your hair, "and I want for nothing more than to stay in your arms."

"..."

"..."

"... but?"

Cregan grunts, "but..." he rubs your back, "Winterfell will not stand without its ward."

You lift your head up.

The pouty frown you give him pokes a hole into his heart. It was not just a showy frown to get him to stay a little longer, you looked troubled. He tucks a lock of hair behind your ear, "what's wrong?"

Taken off-guard by his question, you mask your expression with a pantomime of your original pout, "the ward of Winterfell does not warm my bed..." you nuzzle your face into his neck, "my husband does."

Cregan sighs as he clutches your head. He murmurs against a kiss on your hairline, "if you are worried the ward of Winterfell would forget about his wife, you are sorely mistaken."

A beat passes.

He rubs your shoulder as you draw aimless shapes on his skin.

"And what if the Lady of Winterfell does not do her duties well?"

He shifts to see your face.

"What if she makes a mess of everything she wishes to help with?"

Your glassy eyes make his brows furrow. He takes your hand and kisses it, "then I would be glad to have a lady who wishes to help me at all."

Your lip wobbles.

"And I would stop gifting her sweeties because she no longer deserve them."

You snort and slap his chest.

He smiles, glad the jest wipes the rueful look upon your face. He kisses the top of your head, "come, my bride. Let us make a mess of things together."

[rainswept]

ngl i had to take a fat nap after that response ☹️

i have genuinely never felt so overwhelmed with emotion before, now we're in the same boat because i don't even know what to say to tell you exactly how much i enjoyed reading all of it. i got that whole eyes burning going on n shit and im having a very fun awesome time trying to put a name to whatever the feeling in my chest is (not), but love sounds like a nice way to put it so we'll go with that! i love you too, and appreciate the time you took to write everything out more than any sentence can convey the full meaning of

you're right about me not expecting my ask to mean so much, i wrote it because i knew most authors (and creators as a whole) like hearing how their viewers discover their work. you said you were curious in the notes of the url post, i thought i might as well send in my story to satisfy.

it would be a big step for me, but also a chance to say something nice to someone who inspired me and then move on after a “thank you” or vague acknowledgement to… prove to myself interacting isnt as bad as i thought it'd be?? something like that. i’m not sure what i wanted you to say, or how i wanted to feel about it

bbuut as per usual, you managed to surprise me no matter what i was looking for ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ ) and it wasn't all over the place or hard to understand at all. my turn to be dramatic:

“what is the point of feeling if, as soon as you pry your eyes away from the page, the emotion fades with the ink?” is definitely a question i connect with. impressionable teenager check ‼️

i said i want to love like you because the way you dedicate yourself so completely is something i’ve never been able to do. i wasn't into picking apart characters before because i thought it was obsessive.

they aren't real right? who cares? which leads me to the metaphor i used for your writing: wholly consuming. imagine not being able to delve into those depths. of course it feels uncomfortable to be pulled under the waves at first— you aren't going to be able to breathe— but the underwater life has so much to offer. i know it now, because i’ve seen that unknowable infinity in your work and in your passion. and there's so much more to sea (ba dum tiss). thank you so much for showing me that

love changes a lot of people. it is sacrifice, and you often have to make compromises. so why not let myself be devoured by that endlessness? i would rather suffer, be swallowed by the ocean and have all of my soft edges filed into jagged pieces by the currents than to have never known that pain at all. because it changed me. i want to remember that.

i want to remember your words, and the part you played even if i am left with only hurt, because love is also giving. it's greed knows no bounds. it's scary, the only thing i had to offer was myself and my experience. but it's getting easier. i’m happy to be seen as a member of your audience, and will applaud every success long after our interests no longer align because that is my compromise for you ♥(ˆ⌣ˆ)

hope all that makes sense. i like the umbrella tag! i’m being perceived and i haven't exploded (yet) (destruction is imminent) ☂️

ANON i am so sorry for the late response i had to process this. i’m having such a hard time posting these bc i just want to keep them treasured in my inbox forever ugh

long post again

ANYWAY. you’re so poetic this is insane. hello???//?/? when i first saw this there were tears in my eyes literally. i cannot. the first paragraph. actually all of them. i . died?? goodbye?? this is the end of me as i know it. i will never be the same. these r the most impactful words anyone has ever said to me i think. i have no words. genuinely no words i’m going to melt into thr floor. plea. please. spare me anon. spare me. i’m in agony right now ur writing is so beautiful. ANONNNNN😭😭😭😭😭😭 god i will never recover. i am in tears

“i said i want to love like you because the way you dedicate yourself so completely is something i’ve never been able to do. i wasn't into picking apart characters before because i thought it was obsessive. they aren't real right? who cares?”

i get that, in a way. but as you said — “which leads me to the metaphor i used for your writing: wholly consuming.” — that’s how it feels to me, too, and it always has. i get the idea of thinking something isn’t important because it’s not real, but i’ve always latched onto them regardless. so i had to write, honestly. to get it out. because otherwise it would consume me instead. it sounds very dramatic, i’m aware, but it’s true — i have so many feelings surrounding these fictional pixels and stories and they have so much to offer and they take up too much space in my brain and if i do not talk about it i will Explode ™️. Or Implode ™️. so i write! because i want to. because i have to. because otherwise it will Swallow Me Whole. and i’d rather embrace it! i’ve always been an ‘obsessive’ person when it comes to interests — it’s all or nothing for me. so it’s one or the other — i can drown or i can swim, but i can’t really get out of the water of my own volition,,, and i’d rather not drown. so i’m both glad i inadvertently introduced you to that way of seeing things, and regret it, because it does hurt sometimes. but it’s worth it to me, and it seems like it is to you too, so that’s good!

ONCE AGAIN i could copy and paste this entire ask and comment on it but i fear it’ll just be me repeating your sentences and gawking at them and it would get way too long. 😭😭😭😭 so i’ll just let your ask speak for itself

“i’m being perceived and i haven't exploded (yet) (destruction is imminent) ☂️” also we can explode together actually. i’m glad u allowed urself to be perceived because. oh my god. 😭😭😭😭 this ask changed the trajectory of my life forever. half joke. destruction is not imminent you’ve got this

also, you’re definitely more than just a member of my audience now, in my opinion. if you do decide to stick around (and i hope you do), i hope we can become friends eventually too! even if you decide not to, these interactions have meant more to me than you know! so thank you, either way

[yomiurinikei]

wait what did the dub team do? i’ve heard some stuff but i don’t know how much is true

it’s always the dub team people r surprised about- well. actually no i mention the dub team a lot more than i mention like. isle of nowhere + most formerly popular accs are defunct now. people only know the dub team. this makes sense nvm.

anyways!!!

the biggest thing that always jumps out to me is that emmas voice actor is… i wanna say pr0 ship? sorry for censoring but i don’t wanna end up in that tag lol. but no iirc emmas va had a ton of nsfw of characters who were very very explicitly under 18, on their socials- they didn’t even have anything saying their acc was nsfvv, they had 0 warning and would send links to their acc for people to check out. im also 100% sure they had minor/adult ship content (like. high schooler confirmed to be <18 x adult in their 40s) on their page. the team was aware of this and… did not care

then, a few? years back? before they had released anything playable, back when all they had was VA intros, they said that sora was confirmed to be het by linuj- this was back when the game wasn’t even fully released, let alone fully translated, i could explain. how horrible the word of mouth culture was back then because of this, but with the dub team being in contact with linuj to begin with, people heard this and 100% believed it. they said this in response to people shipping… iirc it was specifically a reaction to some soruko stuff, but anyways, the intent was “so u can’t ship her with girls cuz that’s het erasure, sorry :(“ they later. straight up admitted it was a lie, that they had chosen to not tell the truth, that linuj had never said anything like that

those are the two most… reputable? well documented? things against them- the sora straightbait stuff used to be common knowledge, and i saw the stuff with emma’s va first hand (im just not certain about if they had straight up nsfvv, or if it was just. f3tish stuff which people might not have realized was. s3xual just scrolling through their page- and again, they def had minor/adult stuff). there’s also been reports of harassment by the adults on the team to minors in the server and stuff, and people have said it was just overall an uncomfy environment, but those are the two things that i can personally verify happened

it’s ur choice if you wanna support the dub, and i know some people are 100% fine with emma’s va even knowing the stuff they’d post- im not telling u how to feel, pls don’t come argue with me abt morals, these r just. the things they’ve done which i have an issue with!

Edit: (cw: adult showing nsfvv stuff to minors)

forgot about this one, but yukis past va straight up read nsfvv stuff to minors in voice chat. he was a full blown adult, and im not aware of all the ages involved, but at least one of the minors involved was 15. again! full grown adult on the dub team doing this. i didn’t witness this one personally but multiple people (who i trust/don’t think would lie abt smthn like this) have verified this, and it checks out for dub team to do smthn like this.

Edit episode 2: The incident with Yukis va was in 2018, and as of 2020, yuki has a new va! i wasn't aware there had been a change in va, but! yeah, the current va didn't do this, the va that did that is no longer yukis va

[meili-sheep]

re ur tags about kaeya being a year older than he says he is: first of all, ow. second of all im picturing diluc finding out somehow (idk. maybe kaeya lets it slip while drunk on his birthday or smth) and diluc is honestly kind of?? devastated bcs he cant comprehend the idea of him being younger than kaeya and no longer having big brother rights (and ALSO because its another thing kaeya lied to him about and it just.... stings. and makes diluc wonder if theres any other basic facts he doesn't know about his brother) ( :) sorry)

Personally, I don't think Diluc would be as upset about Kaeya lying about his age... Cause he knows how excited he was as a kid to be a big brother. And he could see how he might have pressured Kaeya into that lie... And he would know about 'being a big brother' and telling little lies to protect the younger.

But he really would be Devastated because all those years he spent being 'big brother' were really just him pretending and Kaeya playing along with it. So... kaeya was being a good older brother. All the support Kaeya gave him over the years, now in the context of him being the big brother. It would make Diluc feel really shitty cause he would see his actions as a bratty younger brother. Thinking he knew everything about Kaeya when he really knew nothing.

Drunk Kaeya at a bar noticing Diluc's head is hanging down and just like... hear something faint.

"What?"

"Sorry."

"Huh?"

"Sorry."

Diluc is softly sniffling trying really fucking hard not to cry, but tears are dropping onto the bar. And just softly he says "I'm sorry for being a terrible younger brother."

And nothing sobers Kaeya up more, as he's just suddenly having to try and comfort Diluc well ya know not actually sober.

"Hey! It's alright! You'll always be the big brother of my heart!"

"S-shut up."

'Big brother' eventually becomes a little joke between them. And ya know... now Diluc knows Kaeya takes full advantage and defiantly starts calling diluc "My sweet baby brother!" Definalty let's go on all the elder sibling instincts he's been holding back on all this time. Diluc still fights for that big brother slot though by being the responsible one still.

[marshmellowtea]

hey, sorry, i did read ur bio but im..... unclear what u mean specifically by "anti anti" and "pro ship/pro fiction"? sorry, the terms get thrown around a lot and its made me unclear what ppl mean when they use them since its used in such drastically different contexts. sorry to bother

it's alright, you're not bothering me. i was honestly kind of expecting an ask like this after making that post. i hope, anon, before you respond (if you respond) you hear me out for the whole post.

i'm gonna put this under a cut since i rambled, sorry. warning for some discussion of abuse

first off, i wanna say that while writing this response feels very weird and kind of nerve-wracking, this isn't information i've been trying to hide. i, perhaps foolishly, tend to assume that people who follow me have at least read my bio, even if they choose not to read my about page, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that this is just......not the case? and it's becoming a bit frustrating to inevitably receive backlash from people following me about views i've been open about having from the get-go, hence the vent post. sorry about that, though, there's better ways of handling that frustration, i know.

secondly, i'm pro ship as in......pro ship. all ships, no matter how tasteless, controversial, or disgusting i or anyone else might find them. i'm pro fiction in the same sense, but just in regards to fiction as a whole, both in and out of fandom. while i never fully identified as an anti, i definitely used to have views closer to that mindset, and i can confidently say that they have caused me a lot of harm in the long run. also, while i fully take accountability for the things i've said during those years, i also feel like in some sense i was enabled to be cruel to others while i was a part of that group. never full on hate campaigns, sure, but i've definitely said some nasty stuff to people, and i regret ever doing it, and i especially feel regret for ever feeling justified in doing it. it also bothers me that there were other anti-minded people in my circles who encouraged me, even, and assured me i was doing the right thing when i fucking wasn't.

while i don't think i can explain all of my reasons for my beliefs in this post alone—that would make this thing way longer than it already is—i want to mention that i don't disagree with the notion that fiction can have an affect on our reality, i just think it's more nuanced than a one-to-one correlation of "reading about [thing]=think [thing] is now good", and i also think since fandom is, well, fandom, people tend to overexaggerate its influence on people. if you've ever read a fic or watched a tv show and thought that they handled a certain subject poorly, or recognized that a certain trope they used was bigoted, or anything of that sort, then, well, congrats! you know exactly what i mean. fiction can certainly influence people's views, but i think it's more of a lack of education (sex education, education on the lived experiences of minorities, etc) that's the problem, rather than the fiction on its own.

i also HEAVILY dislike this notion that fiction causes or enables people to abuse—in the case of the former, that's taking responsibility from the abuser because it implies that fiction "made" them do it when it was really their choice to be cruel, and in the case of the latter, i really think it's the aforementioned lack of education and the lack of systems we have in place to support victims/challenge authority that's more of an issue. sure, fiction can absolutely be used to groom people for abuse, but so can candy, or sports, or money, or one on one time, a whole bunch of things are all potential tools and unfortunately, we can't ban everything that could potentially be used to harm someone. and besides, that's overlooking that properly tagged fic (i'm. very pro content warnings in addition to being anti censorship just to be clear) can actually help people realize they're being abused when they see their situations being reflected on the page in front of them that's clearly labeled as abuse.

those aren't my only reasons of course, but this is getting long already, so thank you for sticking with me if you've gotten to the end. if you're uncomfortable with me because of this, i understand, i just ask that you either quietly unfollow or block me, because i'm not afraid to report people for harassment. if you have any good-faith follow up questions, i'm free to answer those as well, i really don't mind.

[likelightningafterthethunder]

Like Lightning After the Thunder: Chapter One: Damned Smile

Fic Summary:

His breath wavered as he stared into Katsuki’s eyes. He knew he could get out if he tried. He could knock Katsuki out, hope that no one else would find them, and run back into the shadows where he belonged. Katsuki may have had him pinned down but he was in Denki’s range now and it would take little effort to send a charge through Katsuki to paralyze him temporarily.

It would take barely any additional effort to kill Katsuki.

As the sparks began to charge, lighting up the air around him, Katsuki refused to back down.

–

Katsuki always knew he was destined for great things.

He didn’t think he’d have to turn his back on all he’s ever known to get there.

Rating: T

Warnings: Eventual major character death, implied/referenced child abuse, psychological trauma

Other Tags: Bakugou Katsuki/Kaminari Denki, slow burn, alternate universe - canon divergence

Read on Ao3 (links to corresponding chapter) or read below

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Fic navigation to read the fic on tumblr 

--

Even years later, that damn smile haunted his dreams.

There was absolutely no reason for him to still think about the event. Everything had been taken care of when it had happened― injuries were treated, authorities alerted, information secured, and a press conference to tie it all up in a big red bow. There were no loose ends, no surprise second coming, no physical reminders of what happened lingering in his daily life. Katsuki would have labeled it as done, dealt with, and no longer relevant, shoving it aside in his memory so he could focus on actual important shit.

Except his mind had different plans.

When he was lucky, he could completely forget about the event for months. Other times, his dreams would be filled with nothing but that damn smile, taunting him with its silence. He could usually predict when the dreams would come― the anniversary of the event for example― but other times, it seemed like anything could trigger the memory. He once saw a bright yellow balloon and for the rest of the day, every time he closed his eyes he saw that damned smile, never wavering despite the curses and insults Katsuki spewed.

He wanted to forget it. He wanted so desperately to forget it. For the image to erase itself from his mind, for it to take the feelings away with it. He could deal with the anger, he could always deal with the anger, but when his memory reminded him of the wave of hurt and betrayal that nearly blinded him…

When his alarm jolted him from his sleep and freed him from the smile, he couldn’t get out of bed fast enough. He woke up drenched in a cold sweat, sheets singed and smoking lightly as he unclenched his hands, and Katsuki was, for once, very relieved that not all of his sweat was explosive. He slapped the singes a few times to ensure that all of the embers were put out before heading for the bathroom, cursing under his breath as he flinched at his own reflection in the mirror.

There was nothing particularly wrong with his appearance, if you didn’t count the dark circles under his eyes from a fitful night’s sleep or his clammy skin, but after being plagued by the smile, Katsuki could barely look at himself. His reaction to the smile made him feel weak, like he couldn’t handle himself and that there was something wrong with him. It was just a smile after all. There was no reason for him to react to it like a nightmare, no reason for him to lose sleep over it or to feel overwhelmed by emotions at the thought of it.

Yet when he saw the smile and saw how the corners of his mouth were tugged a bit too tight, how his eyes were open a bit too wide, how the only shine in his eyes were the reflections of light on tears that refused to fall…

Katsuki cursed.

The icy cold shower did little to help distract him from the memory, nor did his morning run nor the steaming shower he took after. He wasn’t supposed to head into the agency today, so he didn’t have any planned beatdowns for today, and yes he probably shouldn’t be hoping for it, but part of him hoped for a sudden emergency villain so he could distract himself by focusing on beating some villain’s ass into next week.

A few hours later when his phone refused to stop buzzing, Katsuki wondered if throwing his phone across the room until it stopped would be close enough to beating villain ass to work. He reluctantly decided that talking to people so they’d leave him alone was probably less hassle to deal with than having to replace his phone and distribute his new number (even if it would give him an excuse to ghost some of these damn extras).

A few individual texts and a group text were the cause of the buzzing. As the group text’s new message count continued to rise, he figured it would be easier to respond to the individual texts first. Just in case he changed his mind about destroying the phone.

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): Hello Bakugou, this is a reminder about the upcoming Class A reunion. As the head of the reunion committee, it is my duty to ensure an accurate headcount for the event, and I have yet to receive your response about your attendance. Please ensure to respond via the following link by this Friday at 11:59PM. [Class A 10 Year Reunion RSVP]

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): In case you missed the previous messages regarding the reunion, the event is March 28th starting at 7PM at the Shinjuku Hotel in Musutafu. If you need to rent a room for the night or the weekend, please alert the Shinjuku Hotel staff that you are part of the Class A reunion party by next Wednesday for an event discount.

Katsuki frowned. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to the possibility of being surrounded by all of his former classmates and even less at the idea of being socially obligated to spend the entire evening with them. At least when he met up with his friends elsewhere, he could always claim needing to leave early so he could make the last train or that work needed him to come in early the next day.

He closed out of the conversation, figuring he still had a few more days to decide if he really wanted to deal with his classmates for an entire evening.

Midoriya: Hey Katsugou! I was wondering if you’re going to go to the reunion? Tenya said the deadline to RSVP is coming soon and we haven’t heard from you, so I just thought I’d check in!

Katsuki: The fuck is Katsugou?

Midoriya: Oh sorry!! Typo!!

Midoriya: Anyway, are you coming?

Katsuki closed out of the conversation and moved on to the next one.

Shitty Hair: Katsuki! Are you coming to the reunion or not dude????

Katsuki: Fuck off.

Shitty Hair: Aww dude that’s no way to talk to your best friend, you know you love me!!

Katsuki: I’m blocking you.

He did not, in fact, block him. But he did close out of Eijirou’s texts.

Save for the newest text sent directly from Eijirou, all that was left was the backlog of texts in the group text. It had kept going off while he was reading the other conversations, so Katsuki figured it meant that everyone was either off for the day or on their lunch break.

Raccoon Eyes: guys!!!!! the reunion is COMING UPPPPPP!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: i cant wait to s

Raccoon Eyes: ee all of u guys again!!

Tape Face: lmao you saw us last week

Raccoon Eyes: yes

Raccoon Eyes: an eteRNITY ago

Raccoon Eyes: and like

Raccoon Eyes: kats left early so we didnt have everyone

Raccoon Eyes: so it doesnt count

Shitty Hair: Yeah Katsuki don’t leave early next time!!

Raccoon Eyes: we just have to hold him hostage next time

Raccoon Eyes: or like

Raccoon Eyes: AMBUSH him

Tape Face: i can always tape him up

Raccoon Eyes: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Raccoon Eyes: tape him to the wall

Raccoon Eyes: and then like

Raccoon Eyes: steal his wallet

Raccoon Eyes: cant get on transit w no moneys

Raccoon Eyes: ei and han hold him down

Raccoon Eyes: i run to hide his wallet where he cant fi

Raccoon Eyes: nd it

Raccoon Eyes: probs keeps kats tapped to the wall all night

Raccoon Eyes: free up his arms so he can have a drink????

Tape Face: explosion palms dude

Raccoon Eyes: oh u right

Raccoon Eyes: he can just have a cup w like

Raccoon Eyes: a REALLY REALLY long straw

Raccoon Eyes: make sure u tape him up w his hands behind his back

Tape Face: you got it

Shitty Hair: He’s in this chat guys he’s going to see the plan

Raccoon Eyes: whatevs we can still totally blindside him

Raccoon Eyes: ANYWAYS

Raccoon Eyes: ure all going right?????

Tape Face: ya I rsvpd a while back

Shitty Hair: Yep!! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!

Raccoon Eyes: what about u kats

Raccoon Eyes: kats???

Raccoon Eyes: KAAAAAAAAAAAAATS

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: a

Shitty Hair: I’ll text him separately

Raccoon Eyes: t

Tape Face: he probably has this muted lmao

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: !!!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: how dare u ignore us

Raccoon Eyes: after everything weve done for u!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: thought we were ur ride or die hoes

Raccoon Eyes: dont tell me ur not going!!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: im so offended

Raccoon Eyes: how could u do this to us kats

Shitty Hair: Maybe he’s at work today?

Raccoon Eyes: boo

Raccoon Eyes: how dare he prioritize wo

Raccoon Eyes: rk over us

Raccoon Eyes: his best friends

Raccoon Eyes: the suns of his life

Raccoon Eyes: the bit of happiness in the cold

Raccoon Eyes: cold

Raccoon Eyes: cold

Tape Face: coooooooooold

Raccoon Eyes: COOOOOOOOLD

Raccoon Eyes: thing he calls a heart

Shitty Hair: Lmao

Tape Face: its got a bit of warmth

Tape Face: most of it is his temper

Raccoon Eyes: boom boom POW

Raccoon Eyes: well while we wait for kats

Raccoon Eyes: help me pick some photos for the slideshow!!

Tape Face: are you doing only UA pics or some stuff since then

Tape Face: somehow iida managed to not specify lmao

Shitty Hair: The info email was like ten pages, how did he miss it

Tape Face: idk

Raccoon Eyes: ive got plenty for both!!

Raccoon Eyes: momo said pref UA pics but some new stuff is good too

Raccoon Eyes: show how far weve come n all that

Tape Face: oh cool let me get some opinions then too

Shitty Hair: Anyone have any pics of the camping trip from second year?

Raccoon Eyes: before or after todoroki and kats’ fight turned it into a icy hot springs

Shitty Hair: Both lmao but probably before it went to hell

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: ofc ive got us chillin in the springs

Raccoon Eyes: well most of us

Raccoon Eyes: kats u never get in the water w us :C

Raccoon Eyes: lets go to the beach next time!!

Tape Face: hed prob boil the water w you in it if you dragged him in lmao

Tape Face: spicy acid time

Raccoon Eyes: id like to see him TRY

Shitty Hair: Don’t tempt him lmao

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: i got like a shit ton more

Raccoon Eyes: should i send some of THE FIGHT

Shitty Hair: Maybe not

Tape Face: yes

Tape Face: well

Tape Face: depends on how many pissed off katsuki pics youre putting in lmao

Raccoon Eyes: OH

Raccoon Eyes: OHHHH

Raccoon Eyes: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tape Face: ?

Raccoon Eyes: dude

Raccoon Eyes: do u have the POMERANIAN pic

Tape Face: o shit

Tape Face: image.png

Shitty Hair: I still think Katsuki should’ve taken that pup home

Shitty Hair: They’re matching!

Tape Face: image.png

Tape Face: i also have this one

Tape Face: when she tried to bite his nose off lmao

Raccoon Eyes: kats couldve named her king explosion murder

Raccoon Eyes: or just murder

Raccoon Eyes: p sure she wouldve tried to murder kats at least o

Raccoon Eyes: nce

Tape Face: lmao she basically tried when he found her

Shitty Hair: Maybe it’s for the best that he didn’t keep the pup

Tape Face: look what i found

Tape Face: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: AWWWW YES

Raccoon Eyes: LOOK AT USSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: we look FABBBB

Shitty Hair: Is that from the dance?

Tape Face: ye

Raccoon Eyes: guys what if we recreate that pic at the reunion

Raccoon Eyes: the fits?

Raccoon Eyes: immaculate

Raccoon Eyes: the pose?

Raccoon Eyes: perfection

Tape Face: hotel?

Tape Face: trivago

Shitty Hair: I’m down for recreating some pics!

Raccoon Eyes: yessssss

Raccoon Eyes: u have no choice either kats u gotta do it

Raccoon Eyes: wherever u are

Shitty Hair: Oh he replied!!

Raccoon Eyes: SWEET

Raccoon Eyes: what he say

Shitty Hair: He said fuck off

Tape Face: as expected

Shitty Hair: Lmao he threatened to block me again

Tape Face: thought he said he was blocking you last week

Shitty Hair: Yea exactly

Raccoon Eyes: HOW RUDE

Raccoon Eyes: as punishment for not paying attention to us

Raccoon Eyes: im gonna send this

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Tape Face: LMAO whend you make that

Shitty Hair: Is that Katsuki with a cat face and ears

Shitty Hair: Dude I don’t know if he’s going to kill you for that or for the pink hair first lmao

Raccoon Eyes: lmao made it just now

Raccoon Eyes: well MAYBE if he ANSWERED us

Katsuki: Delete it.

Tape Face: O SHIT

Tape Face: you summoned him

Raccoon Eyes: NO I WILL NOT

Katsuki: Delete it Raccoon Eyes or else I’m coming for you.

Tape Face: are you coming for the left shoes and shittin in them

Raccoon Eyes: NOOOOOOO not my shoes!!!!!!!!

Tape Face: its just the left shoes tho

Raccoon Eyes: BUT THATS MY FAVE SIDE

Katsuki: What the fuck are you two going on about?

Raccoon Eyes: DONT COME FOR M

Raccoon Eyes: Y LEFT SHOES KATS IM SORRY

Katsuki: I’m not coming for your fucking left shoes. Or any of your shoes.

Katsuki: I will be coming for you if you don’t delete that picture, though.

Raccoon Eyes: FORGIVENESS

Raccoon Eyes: I BEG

Raccoon Eyes: PLSSSSS

Katsuki: Delete the picture.

Raccoon Eyes: ugh fiiiiiiiiiine

Raccoon Eyes: its deleted

Raccoon Eyes: i wont send it to momo for the slide show

Katsuki: Good.

Raccoon Eyes: IF U COME TO THE REUNION

Katsuki: Fuck off.

Shitty Hair: C’mon Katsuki!! It’ll be fun!!

Tape Face: ya it wouldnt do if we didnt have our exploding star

Raccoon Eyes: ill send momo WORSE if u dont come

Raccoon Eyes: nd u wont know WHAT til AFTER

Raccoon Eyes: so PLSSSSSSSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: PRETTY PLSSSSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: PLS COME TO THE REUNION

Raccoon Eyes: ill spam u a lot worse if u dont show us proof of rsvp

Raccoon Eyes: pls kaaaaaaaaats

Raccoon Eyes: kaaaaaaaaats

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: a

Katsuki: Ugh fucking fine, I’ll do the RSVP now then.

Raccoon Eyes: t

Raccoon Eyes: YAY

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): Good afternoon, Bakugou! I just wanted to confirm with you that I have received your RSVP for the Class A reunion. As a reminder, if you need to rent a room for the night or the weekend, please alert the Shinjuku Hotel staff that you are part of the Class A reunion party by next Wednesday for an event discount.

Katsuki: image.png

Katsuki: image.png

Katsuki: Four Eyes is watching the RSVP form like a fucking hawk apparently.

Raccoon Eyes: YAAAAAY URE RSVPD!!!

Shitty Hair: You know him, always dedicated to his work

Tape Face: sweet

Raccoon Eyes: are u guys getting rooms

Tape Face: yea musutafus too far for a round trip

Tape Face: esp since itll prob end late

Shitty Hair: I got one for the weekend!

Tape Face: wbu mina

Raccoon Eyes: booked a room already!!

Raccoon Eyes: kaaaaats wbu

Raccoon Eyes: u should

Raccoon Eyes: we could have a brunch or lunch or s/t thats just us

Raccoon Eyes: plsssssss kats

Katsuki: I’ll think about it.

Tape Face: better than a no lmao

Shitty Hair: If they run out of space or if you decide last second, you can room with me dude

Raccoon Eyes: awww why not a yes

Katsuki: I haven’t asked the other Four Eyes for the time off yet.

Tape Face: is this four eyes no4 or no15

Raccoon Eyes: four eyes no69

Raccoon Eyes: no wait

Raccoon Eyes: no420

Tape Face: haha blaze it

Raccoon Eyes: BLAZE IT

Shitty Hair: It’s number 7

Katsuki: Fuck you, I don’t have that many Four Eyes saved in my phone.

Shitty Hair: I’d be surprised if you had 420 contacts period dude

Raccoon Eyes: would b hilarious tho

Katsuki: Yes, it’s Four Eyes number 7.

Shitty Hair: I was right!!

Katsuki: Why would I ask any of the other Four Eyes for time off? They’re not my fucking bosses.

Tape Face: dunno

Raccoon Eyes: idk maybe ure secretly dating one a

Raccoon Eyes: nd have to confirm that its ok

Raccoon Eyes: ARE U SECRETLY DATING A FOUR EYES

Raccoon Eyes: U HAVE TO TELL US IF U ARE

Raccoon Eyes: URE LEGALLY OBLIGATED

Tape Face: o shit

Tape Face: scandalous

Katsuki: Shut the fuck up, I’m not dating anyone, secret or not.

Raccoon Eyes: thats what they all say

Katsuki: Whatever. I’m not dating anyone.

Raccoon Eyes: kats n four eyes no420 sittin in a tree

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: i

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: i

Katsuki: I’ll blow up all of your left shoes when you’re not home.

Raccoon Eyes: n

Raccoon Eyes: NO

Raccoon Eyes: IM STOPPING DONT DO IT

Shitty Hair: Hey what do you guys think of this photo

Shitty Hair: image.png

Tape Face: dude yes

Raccoon Eyes: AWWWW OUR FIRST BILLBOARDS AS PROS

Katsuki: Do we really need to send them pictures? It’s not like we fucking forgot this stuff already.

Tape Face: you can be a killjoy if you want lmao

Tape Face: im sure mina will send more than enough to cover for you

Raccoon Eyes: U BETCHA

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Tape Face: lmao why do you have a pic of katsuki throwing ei

Shitty Hair: I still can’t believe you did that bro

Shitty Hair: WITHOUT WARNING TOO

Katsuki: I gave you plenty of fucking warning.

Shitty Hair: Saying “I’m throwing you” AS YOU’RE THROWING ME is NOT PLENTY OF WARNING DUDE

Raccoon Eyes: im always ready to document golden moments

Katsuki: Shut the fuck up. We won the training exercise so what’s it fucking matter?

Shitty Hair: YOU THREW ME!!

Katsuki: Tape Face caught you before you could get hurt.

Shitty Hair: YOU /THREW/ ME!!!!!!

Tape Face: barely caught

Katsuki: Whatever.

Raccoon Eyes: im still impressed by how eASY u made that look

Katsuki: What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?

Raccoon Eyes: o look conveniently timed distraction photo spam

Katsuki sighed as he continued the conversation, commenting here and there on the photos his friends sent for judgement. In retrospect, he probably should have tried to talk to Shion first, since there was a chance she would have denied the time off for the reunion. Although, knowing her, she would have accepted just to force Katsuki into socializing. He opened up a new text message, figuring that if Shion did decide to deny the time off, he would at least have a screenshot to send to his friends explaining the sudden change in plans.

Katsuki: I need March 28th and 29th off.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Do my eyes deceive me? The great Katsuki Bakugou, asking for time off?

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): I’m amazed! Usually I have to ask you to take the day off!

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Nay, not ask, but force!

Katsuki: Are you going to give it to me or not?

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Depends! What do you need the time off for?

Katsuki: Class reunion.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Oh those are fun!

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Fill out the proper time off paperwork and have it on my desk by Monday. I’ll approve the time off.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Just keep your phone on you in case we need you to come in for an emergency, but I’ll try not to ruin your reunion with work.

Katsuki: Thanks.

Well, so much for an easy way out.

Katsuki pinched the bridge of his nose when he noticed that his phone had already accumulated another thirty texts in the past few minutes, no doubt primarily from Mina. He scrolled through the backlog, sending a few mostly empty threats when he saw photos he did not want projected for the entire class to see, freezing when his gaze met a pair of familiar amber eyes.

Shit.

In his scramble to close out of the photo, to escape the genuine smile that somehow was more haunting than the one in his dreams, he left the group text completely. He briefly thanked his past self; he’d impulse or rage quit the group text plenty of times before that this wasn’t unusual behavior. If he was lucky, his friends wouldn’t have noticed the timing of his departure and would assume he was just fed up with the notifications or the conversation.

Shitty Hair: You okay, Katsuki?

A weak laugh escaped Katsuki’s lips as he read the newest notification. Of course Eijirou noticed.

Katsuki: I’m fine.

Shitty Hair: Okay

Shitty Hair: We don’t have to talk about it

Shitty Hair: But if you want to, I’m here dude

Shitty Hair: I’ll tell the others that you left so your phone would shut up and not to add you back yet

Katsuki: Thanks. Really.

Shitty Hair: No problem dude

Katsuki put his phone down, silently praying for the smile to leave him alone.

When he finally laid down for bed that night, he repeated the short prayer, for a peaceful night’s rest free of the smile, of the hurt, of the pain, of the guilt.

But as always, the smile came.

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

[makkoskafanfic]

hello may i dump every idea i'm too lazy to write right here -they are very unoriginal, do what you want with them. Plus, you might not like them at all since my fav is hashirama and i guess urs is madara (and I used to prefer him too, but something in me changed when i went to look up the tag madara/hashirama on pixiv and discovered smithsan- such a great artist. okay i'll stop telling my life, but honestly it made me understand how ships worked so much, to switch points of view like that. anyway)

- three words: mokuton cancer cells (but it shows up before he's an old man)

- european medieval au (totally the idea of akatsukiarts but i'm shamelessly asking a talented author to write it :D)

- u probably prefer bottom madara -i've read all ur fics lolol and have i tell i love them all? cuz i do (which i totally get! we can't choose which one we're projecting one) buttttt may i ask for kinda nasty dom madara and obedient sub hashirama? (i'm again going on a tangent but it's so funny how people get "vibes" for who is top or bottom when it doesn't work like that. I mean yeah, u can get clues, but you could turn those clues totally upside down. The opposite situation is soft dom hashirama and bratty sub madara and it fits them just as well - according to me, because opinions are personal-. But that's what i'm getting at. It usually goes from "the sexuality u feel fits the character" -> finding the clues indicating it fits the character. And not the opposite direction. ANYWAY. I'M TALKING TOO MUCH.)

- tajima lives au; what does it change? -probably nothing. I'd like to hear ur opinion hehe (or worse; butsuma lives old au. what happens?)

- do u write hashitobi? i feel like i read one of urs but i might be confusing with another author. Anyway, idea: yandere/dark tobirama (honestly i feel like im so predictable it's not even funny, sorry for those awful ideas this is the worst)

- au where it's tobirama with the mokuton and hashirama (so without mokuton, to be clear).... well u tell me, but i doubt he would fit the scientist role.

okay, i think im done because the rest is even worse and u probs won't use them but here we go! do what u want with these! thank you for the opportunity to share ideas with u! bye now i'm going to hide in a ditch somewhere. urgh why did i write that. :(

Oh Anon, this is a treasure island or a minefield of ideas depending how you look at it!

But first of all, I have to say that if I have to pick one favourite, it is Hashirama and I do project to him maybe a tad too much. That’s why I like to write him from different aspects and see him suffer now and then. Let’s not dwell on this too much hehe.

(Smithsan is indeed a great artist!)

Mokuton cancer cells sounds way too sad! Not that I can’t see Hashirama turning into a tree or something, not knowing how he actually died and all that, but I’m not ready for it!

European medieval AU! Now that sounds a whole lot of fun, especially with some fantasy elements? Dark magician/warlock Madara and knight in shining armour Hashirama? But I do love akatsukiarts lovely arts there, will need to check them again. I fear this might be something longer winded than I currently have the capacity for atm!

I’m all for switching, but yeah, I do picture Hashirama toppier and Madara bottomier. Which makes bottom Hashirama all the more fun to write. Spice things up and all that! While S/D isn’t necessarily my cup of tea, I do like to play around with the dynamics. I actually really getting into the obedient sub Hashirama idea as I can clearly picture him struggling big time with that role, while Madara, I can equally see him struggling with being all dominant (though probably not with being nasty!). Anyhow, this can be gold for The Awkward Sex Scene I Always Wanted To Write, But Never Got Around To Do It.

I have maybe half a page started on a Tajima (and Butsuma) lives AU! It’s one where H&M managed to achieve peace pretty early on and their biggest concern is introducing the other as their boyfriends to their family. I wanted to write it for that one scene where Izuna tries to set Hashirama’s hair on fire with the Katon over family dinner as he can’t stand him having his hand over Madara. Not sure I’ll ever write it though!

I did on one (okay, two, it had a sequel) occasion wrote HashiTobi and I killed myself with it. I’m not saying never again but anything that comes to mind is rather sad and dark. (wow, you’re asking for Dark Tobirama and it’s Dark, who would have ever thought so.) Never wrote any misuse of Edo Tensei (bringing back Hashirama temporary) kind of story, so when I feel I’m in the mood I might go for it.

And nothing loads in my mind when I think about Tobirama and the Mokuton, but knowing me, this will wake me up one day 3 am hehe.

I’m really happy that you took the time to share all these ideas with me. I absolutely don’t promise anything, but I have two weeks before starting a new job and I plan to spend it as any responsible adult would, with playing video games and writing fanfic.

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 wonpil

first of all i will definitely do poorly on this because,,, you know,,,,, he’s so precious and i don’t think my words can do it justice ksbdjshs i wanna make the sweetest scenario for him

but i suck at sweet stuffs smh bye

name: kim wonpil

major: modeling (i still cant believe this is an actual major im living under a rock smh)

other activities: member of music club, keyboardist and main singer of the university band

jae calls him “the backbone” of the music club because wonpil participates in all club events, he always takes part in weekly activities, and he actively finds new recruits

jae on the other side pops up once in a blue moon to play guitar, do shit, then disappears

don’t worry ever since jae starts dating the newest member who happens to be wonpil’s bestie he’s more active now

honestly more than half of their club members joined because wonpil made them to

he’s persuasive and convincing okay you would end up eating rocks if he told you it’s good for health

but he’ll never do that ever bc he speaks no lies okay he’s like the sweetest person in the earth

he’ll cry by the sight of cute puppies, do i have to explain further

wonpil was nominated as the club president but the other candidate park sungjin who’s also his roommate beat him by one vote

well he prefers to be just regular member anyway, that way he can still do a lot of things for the club but with less responsibilities

you see he’s really nice, he’s caring, he’s hardworking, he’s confident, he knows how to present himself and he’s hella attractive

he’s taking modeling as his major do i make myself clear

everyone LOVES wonpil

and i mean sometimes it’s just not only a platonic love but like an “i will give you my heart and soul please marry me” love

too bad he’s oblivious af

someone: i,, i like you wonpil,,,, d-do you like me too?

wonpil: of course!!! you’re my friend!!!!!!!!!

someone: ….oh ok

accidental friendzone

but you know he doesnt actually mean to do that, he just doesn’t think anyone likes him like that

moreover he already has someone in mind

aka the coffee shop girl

aka Y O U

yeah hello guys i am: still lame

the first time he met you was on exams week

everyone was busy and stressed af and running on almost no sleep

except maybe wonpil

not because he was fully prepared but more like he forgot exams week was coming until the day before so he just decided to wing it lol whatevs

anyway his roommate aka sungjin asked him if he could go buy him a double shot espresso so wonpil did

he rarely visits coffee shops tbh and when he does he always orders vanilla latte with extra syrup for himself

wonpil seems to be that kinda person who tries to enjoy coffee but can’t handle the bitter taste its so frickin cute and trust me you think so too

so anywayyyy yeah he never saw you, aka the new barista, before

it was ur first work day as well btw and he was ur first customer

he didn’t know why but watching you being nervous made him nervous too

just imagine a stuttering costumer and a stuttering barista

everyone watched you two with anxiety

but even when wonpil was a nervous wreck he didn’t forget to smile and before leaving he said to you, “thanks, have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!”

honest to god it made your whole day better

anyway let’s move on to the second meeting

he comes back and this time he orders a vanilla latte, but being the clumsy ass that you are, you slightly confused his order

he receives his coffee and takes a sip and he freezes

you ask whats wrong and he’s like,, uh nothing,, the coffee is just,,,, kinda bitter today??? ha,,,hahahhaha,,,,

you stand still

wait

he asked for EXTRA SYRUP not EXTRA SHOT you dumbfucc

you offer to make him a new one and he refuses saying it’s fine!!! but you still feel bad so you insist but he’s like no!!! i gotta stay awake anyway i have an important quiz today i have to study! by the way uhhhh i’ve never seen you around until recently???

you introduce yourself and he introduce himself blablabla it’s awkward and your palms keep sweating for some reason

before wonpil left, he didn’t forget to say “have a great day!! i’ll see you around then!!!”

he’s so sweet uwu

seeing him and making him his vanilla latte (extra syrup) is one of the best parts of your job tbh

and he visits every single time you’re working which makes it better

why is his smile so adorable what the fuck

and there’s something about the way he walks that keeps you looking i mean boiiiii does he know how to present himself holy shit

that feeling when you see someone so beautiful you want to cry

the more you see him the more you want to know about him

what major is he in? what is he usually do outside the class? what kind of person is he? does he have a lot of friends? what’s his hobby? stuffs like that

too bad he always comes when it’s busy at the cafe so you can’t talk too much

neither he ever tries to initiate a conversation with you except his usual “hello! how are you today?” and “thank you, you make the best coffee! have a nice day!! see you!!!”

let’s admit it you highkey have a crush on him and EVERYONE knows

wELL it’s because you always wear that expression like "goddammit why must kim wonpil be so cute if he ain’t gonna ask me on a date” whenever you watch his back as he leaves the cafe

and EVERYONE but YOU knows wonpil’s so into you

whenever someone says something like “just ask him for his number he’ll definitely give it to you” you’re like “wtf nO that’s creepy and he won’t!! he doesn’t even know me!!!”

“he literally only comes when it’s your shift and he always makes sure you’re the one taking his order you oblivious dumbass”

“it’s just a coincidence”

“…..yeah whatever”

but they’re right wonpil’s crushing on you hard

at this point sungjin can even draw a portrait of you although he hasn’t actually met you before

that’s how much wonpil talks about you

from your whole adorable appearance to how cute your little cough is, or how he adores your little smile and the sparks in your eyes when he compliments your coffee, or he’ll describe your apron what the fuck and how he thinks your look so good in white and blue

sungjin’s so done with him

“just ask her out you stalker”

“nO I CAN’T!!! SHE’LL THINK IM CREEPY!!! SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME”

“well i bet she remembers your face by now since you always drop by when she’s there”

“but she meets a lot of people everyday there’s NO WAY she can remember me”

you see the problem now?

then one day jae decides to play matchmaker

by “playing matchmaker” i mean he follows wonpil to the cafe and straight up tells you, in front of wonpil’s face and everyone there, “yo this friend of mine wants to take you on a date and he wonders if you’re interested”

you are: blushing

wonpil is: dead pale

you: o-oh… i’m–

wonpil: yO HE’S JUST JOKING HAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY oH My gOd jAE LET’S GO

he drags his tall friend aka jae out of the cafe and since then he never visits again :(

im sad now ugh i told you i suck at sweet stuffs like this

fast forward it’s summer and the university wonpil’s attending is holding a summer festival that’s open for public

well,,,,, you decide to go and you ask some of your friends to tag along

you’re not sure what you’re hoping; maybe you just want to see how the place wonpil’s studying at looks like, or maybe you do wish to meet him by accident or something yanno like a drama

whatever

you promised yourself that if you don’t see him today, you’ll get over him

but if you do see him, you will ask. him. out.

well jokes on you babe he’s there performing on the stage with the band

he’s,,, he’s singing,,, and playing keyboard,,,, omg his voice

as you already know im uncreative soooo by impossible coincidence somehow his eyes spot you in the crowd

btw i imagine them singing Pouring but i think you can pick any songs you like

he’s so taken aback that one second he’s singing and the next second he sees you and his eyes widen and he’s like “I’m falling for–hUH? why are you here??” to the microphone

don’t worry the others cover for his mistake while trying not to laugh

everyone laughs too while looking around to find the person whom wonpil sees

you’re embarrassed as fuck you want to curl up and hide forever

but your so-called-friends don’t let you get away that easy okay it’s your only chance

dw dude wonpil feels the same he wants to immediately get off the stage and die

but sungjin will literally kill wonpil in his sleep if he doesn’t do anything it’s now or never

poor boi has had enough of this pining shit

so after the band performance wonpil has no choice but to approach you

“h-hey! so you watched our stage!”

“y-yeah! it was great!! didn’t know you can sing so well”

“h-haha thanks”

“y-you’re welcome”

silence

more silence

wonpil clears his throat and, “so…”

you blink fast, “yeah…?”

“um uhhh do you wanna see around? i can take you”

“oH of course”

What Am I Even Writing Anymore

well remember your promise earlier? about asking him out?? no???

is it too late to chicken out and forget the whole thing now

you barely know each other it’s so awkward and he looks so fine today and you really don’t wanna push him even further now but if you hesitate longer who knows someone else will ask him first and just the thought alone breaks your heart a little bit

so it’s time to grow a pair and take risks cmon dude you can do this

one

two

“anywaysijustwonderifyou'refreenextsaturday?”

wait

it was!! not!!! your voice!!!!

“huh?”

wonpil clears his throat and repeats slower, “i just wonder if you’re uhhhh free next saturday?”

o shit

o fUck YeAH

you cough a bit before answering, “y-y-yeah i guess??”

“ok um i like, have two tickets for movie if you want to come with me”

that’s like the lamest invitation and you yourself gotta admit that lmao

but oh kim wonpil,, dear,,,, there’s no way i would say no

so you two go on a date

or “casual outing” as you two call it

but everyone knows it’s a date okay even though you two didn’t have any skinskip oops

it’s okay it takes a bit of time but you’ll get there

i mean, since then you two go out together almost every weekend so ye it won’t be that long until the awkwardness wears off

wonpil just cherish you so much he’s afraid he’ll scare you or hurt your feeling by accident so he never boldly initiates anything

the first time you two finally holding hands is when you two go skating, and that’s just because you two are so bad at that

gotta hold each other so you won’t keep falling aye romance

you don’t know this but trust me wonpil talks about it for days sungjin almost decides to move out

he’s still insisting it’s not a date tho

“you know what, i can already imagine you two in like 10 years, standing at the altar and be like, do you marry me as a friend or what? unclear”

“do you think we’ll get married?????”

“oh dear god”

but yeah

you two will get there

somehow

just take your sweet time and give wonpil all the love in the world i beg you

that’s it YAY i think imma work on sungjin’s next wish me luck im running out of lame cliche ideas now lol bye

[sundrenched-smilez]

odd numbers for the lesbian asks! (if it's too many just do every 4th one maybe?)

1. Femme or butch? 

for type, im vry easily wooed by butches tbh

as for myself, im genderfluid + heavily lean towards butch-ish for one gender + have been gettin more comf w that term for myself. the 3 genders i switch between, ive described as sharp, dainty and tired, for reason of not really being comf w gender labels aside from nonbinary. sharp/tired r kinda butchish, moreso sharp. like leather jackets, ripped jeans, dress pants/shirts, defs flannels (which r a given for any mood im in tbh) while tired is like mb softer, more focused on flannels + loose tank tops/shirts, shorts + certain skirts, comfy clothes, and the like   

ive found that i’m leaning more towards butch lately too, like i’ve been a lot more comfortable with pants and a nice top than i have w dresses or most skirts + im wondering if i was just hanging on to femininity for sake of society, so those r things 2 think abt. i still feel comf in them sometimes, but it’s getting much less often. gender’s weird, i still cant cling to one bc of how pressuring that is so genderfluidity is still smth for me + it shifting to different percentages is okay (im thinking out loud @ this point, but its helping so i hope its interesting to read)

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

both, but primarily flannels/plaid buttion-ups

5. Describe your aesthetic

aaahh theres a lot of diff aesthetics i could go into, but i have a tag if ur interested in a visual representation? basically, cosy homes, forests, wooden steps and bridges, cats, girls/nbs, water, plants, and old video game stuff, and clouds/skies. i’m sure there’s more in there, but for a good rule of thumb !! as for like dressing aesthetic, i like to look rly gay + attractive and a lil showy? like my shorts r Short and i love crop tops + a lot of my shirts show my bra thru them, + i like showing it when i can, like sports bra + a tank top is a fav look of mine bc i can make it look like my bra is a trim on the shirt + it’s cute. i’ve been wearing dresses less often, but occasionally, i like to rock one. id love a pair of combat boots but i have like size 11/12 feet + most stores dont carry that size + im hesitant to buy some online. 

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

its rly hard to find any, i have like walmart converse knockoffs atm + theyre a beige/grey color im not that huge on, it kinda reminds me of sandalwood but depressed

9. Any haircut goals for the future? 

there was the undercut!! and i have that down now c: next step is to dye it blue and mb some purple. i wanna bleach it if i’m gonna dye it, but im hesitant to do that bc of how damaging it is, but since my hair’s been cut a cpl time almost all the color is out now, so i think itll b ok if i take good care of it. 

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

i went to a cafe w someone (i think they were nb but i cant remember, it was like 2 yrs ago about ) and they were impossible to talk to bc they just kept saying “im awkward sorry” @ everything and like any conversations i tried to maintain were all one-shot responses, and like that was a lil frustrating. like i dont hold it against them or anything, more in a sense of i was rly tryin 2 carry it and just couldnt 

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

whooh i wish i was taken, i need affection + to b cute w someone 

15. Describe your dream wedding

hmmmm i havent thought much about it !! i know when i was younger i wanted to wear a black wedding dress but now im thinkin mb a suit that switches to dress @ the bottom?? that could b cool. I’d be happy w anything tbh, if im getting married, i’d just b happy to be w my wife/spouse. mb somewhere in a forest or on a boat would b cool, defs lots of good food and colorful flowers. I’d like a lot of color, most weddings ive been to are just b/w and bland for my taste (they’ve also all been straight tho so theres that.) it’s kind of wild to think that i might b married someday, but it’d b rly nice. i just haven’t thought much abt the planning of one. it’d b rly gay tho, probs give out tiny gay flags at each seat, and the cake could b lesbian flag colors. im rly drawing a blank on this, but i know id want all my friends around the country + world to be there. 

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

i definitely want to live in a port town at some point !! idk where i’d like to settle down, ideally somewhere that doesnt get much hotter than 90 degrees + has lots of parks + is big enough for some events, like pride stuff, little festivals, a farmer’s market, and places to do things, such as a movie theater, bowling alley, mb an aquarium, if not one in a nearby town. hiking trails r also good. 

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

on a sunbeam!!! its a huge inspiration for me, and i love it so much. it always puts me in such a good mindset when i read it, and the artist is my age, so it makes me feel like I can also accomplish great things if i rly put my heart into it!! which is such a good feeling, and it has great representation + characters that i love, and its rly gay, and in space and theres ships shaped like fish + its gorgeous : D i could go on for hrs abt it + how important it is to me. theres an nb character too, and like the aspect of found families is one that rly hits home and it helped me get thru a rough time of my life + better accept myself as queer/gay. 

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

adult mom (tho i think they’re bi but still gay), or hayley kiyoko

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i think so, but i can’t place when, it’s been a bit. 

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

talking abt being gay w other girls/nbs is lovely and cathartic, i never got to growing up bc i lived in a homophobic town + i was like dealing heavily with internalized homophobia and body/gender dysphoria so i was ace for a bit. talking more abt like sexual attraction + aesthetic attraction is new to me, and that’s been a process to get to, but it’s nice that I can now do so w/o being belittled or barraged by insult. i also just love the thought of being w someone, and daydreaming abt when that happens is really nice. also,, girls + nbs r a blessing and brighten my day and im so glad im attracted 2 them 

27. Turn ons?

absolutely communication, that’s a need. i had a bad experience w someone bc she wasn’t communicative at all, and failed to tell me that we weren’t dating despite us going on several dates + kissing??? like i wont go too into it, but hatchi matchi it was a mess. so yeah, communication, affection, and like reassurance that they actually want to be with me, and that my presence is wanted and enjoyed. I got a lot of “i dont care”s for answers last sort-of relationship, and that was rly discouraging. another turn on is for them to initiate talking and things, like holding hands or planning to hang out + such. consent is another big one. 

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

i usually tend to ask them out, but im still dealing w internalized junk, so its difficult. i also havent any situations in which they liked me back, which is frustrating. like i got lead on earlier summer for abt a month until i asked what we were doing + didnt rly get an answer, and it was this whole mess. i generally try to make the first move tho, bc i know firsthand how difficult it is, but that being said, it’s still hard for me to know for sure if theyre interested + i dont wanna make things uncomf w them, so i’ll wait until i think there might b attraction. that being said, once that’s all out of the way, i like to consider myself a good flirt when im trying. 

31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!

i have lots of interests!! im obsessed w steven universe, its my fav show (and if u ever have time, we should totally watch it together sometime, i rly think you’d love it, it’s super gay + heartwarming.) i really love playing music and learning new songs, which im rly great at memorizing. talking to friends + gettin 2 know them better is always nice and fun. i like to draw new things + see the different ways ppl draw, so seeing art on here is always fun for me. i’m also rly into polygon videos (it’s a youtube channel, not like videos abt polygon haha) and this podcast called the adventure zone. season one just ended, so i might start listening to another one called friends at the table. i rly wanna start a podcast w someone, but can never find anyone to start it with. idk what I’d talk abt but if i could find a partner for it, i think it’d be a lot of fun. mb smth abt games or books/queer representation in media. doing a dnd podcast would also b rly fun, but a lot of work + editing so mb later down the road !! im blanking on other interests atm, but animations and cartoons r lovely and i aim to make something in that field one day, if not just a comic.

my hobbies r mostlyyyy drawing, dnd things now every thursday, hanging w my friends, playing video games, sometimes writing (i rly wanna start a comic, and im tryin to get my butt into gear on it), goin to parks, listening to music, and goin 2 events w roe + cesar, two of my friends. sometimes ill play music!! i need to get more than the keyboard i’m lending, but i love performing. ill also watch leg birds on youtube, theyre a lesbian couple that plays gams + theyre rly sweet. 

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

its easy for me to love friends, doesnt usu take me more than a few months of knowing them if were talking a lot. as for falling in love, that takes me a lot longer. ive never rly been in love w someone. i thought i was once, but rly it was just my first gay experience w someone and i wanted it to be perfect so i projected a lot of things + made it better than it seemed to myself for the duration of it, which wasn’t healthy, so i wanna avoid doing that again, + take things slower next time. or at least for what they are. 

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?

a few times, they were just crushes tho, so it wasnt too too bad

37. Favorite comfort food?

hot cocoa or tea. as for food food, i dont think i have one. mb french toast or cinnamon rolls. 

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

i used to be a vegetarian!! for like a yr, but it was difficult for me to eat and feel full, and i was pretty underweight, so i stopped. 

41. Early-riser or night-owl?

both, i tend to stay up, but getting up early can be nice if i dont have to do anything. like just gently waking + making some tea and a nice breakfast + sittin around for a bit. 

43. What is your Myers-Briggs type?

enfp-a 

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i think like 16-17? it took me a bit to get words for identity, like lesbian/nonbinary and the like, but i always knew, like id call myself an individual as opposed to gendered terms that i was referred to, and always felt rly yucky w deadname + the wrong pronouns

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

ive got one crush atm !! and another person who seems nice, but i wanna hang out w before like thinking abt a crush (im poly, which perhaps goes w/o saying, but i always like to state it when talking abt these things, jic )

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

i’d like a partner or two, to get some bongos- i got to play some a couple weeks ago, and it was the most fun i’ve had playing anything!! having smth with an instant response that i could make up rhythms with was really rewarding and so much fun. i know i want a cat at some point, to go on cute dates + cuddle and kiss a lot w someone, to visit my friends in other places, dye my hair, get a better job, to travel a bit, make a comic, go to college for animation and storyboarding, mb go to camp at some point, and I’d like to make some more friends here, i’m already making some, which i’m super happy about, but it’s always nice meeting new ppl 

thank u for asking!! this was relaxing + fun, and a lot of the topics were cathartic to talk about, and i needed it. so thanks for listening too kinda

also im queen of commas, i’ve discovered while typing this

[dvddggs]

To the Four of Us (Part Twenty Six)

premise: modern AU chronicling the squad as they make their way through college and deal with general life things. words: 3,185 warnings: i think just swearing all chapters: x tags: @heythereitsloey @anitheunicorn @newyorkyoucanbeanew @lafbagxette @justafangirlwithanavy @iamgrayfox @ordinaryornate @schuylerjoon @angelica-peggy-eliza @trashyperson101 @crazydragon15 @but-if-you-had-to-choose @geespilots @marvelous-hamilfan @mynameisalexanderhammyham @panda-powers @lafeyettegunsandships @schokoobananaa @allthegoodurlshavebeentaken @aphboi @hell-yes-puns-and-ships @aham-threw-his-shot-away @hesitantcat @nonstopspook @hamrevolution @writethewayout @alexander-did-you-know @allthegoodurlshavebeentaken @sun-tree @angelizaandpeggy @isis278 @idk-destiel @engulfedinstars @hamiltrashuniverse @ahrupe @just-me-an-asshole @readfizz @skeletonmelodies @gum-and-chips @iminwaytoomanyfandoms @hadleyelizabethuley @fictionalboyfriends @ridiculousn3ssfangirl @pleuxvoir @liallow @kanadianwithashippingproblem @bucket-of-kittens @welcometohamilton @forth-schuyler-sister

a/n: lol can’t wait for ur responses. ALSO, sorry it took me so long to upload but you’re all seriously the BEST like you’re so supportive and lovely, ur all wonderful humans ok dedication: @awkwardfortuneteller for their dedication to that piece of art for me AAAAA im so excited ur a lovely person

It felt strange to be back at school. It felt strange to no longer have wires binding his jaw shut. It felt strange to not talk to his best friends.

It felt strange to not be with John.

It was all so strange.

After the funeral, John had abandoned his plans of staying with Alexander for the rest of winter break. Instead he headed back to New York to stay at Hercules’ house with Lafayette. Throughout that week, Alexander had only spoken with Hercules once, and all he had said was that they made it back home safely. Other than that, his friends had all been silent.

Alexander had been pretty quiet too—he hadn’t even told his father what happened. Although when John went back to New York, it was pretty obvious. Whenever George tried to bring up the subject, Alexander would stomp up to his room and slam the door.

He hung out with Aaron, the only person he’d told about the breakup, to take his mind off things before he went back to school. It was obvious that Aaron thought Alexander had screwed things up, but he didn’t press the issue and Alexander appreciated that.

But when Alexander was alone, his brain didn’t stop. He told himself over and over all the ways he had messed up. He told himself how it was all his fault—how if he could have just shut up for two seconds, he and John would still be together. All he wanted was to be alone, and yet whenever he was, he felt like shit. As much as he didn’t want to he blamed himself, and being alone only amplified the relentless thoughts that pounded through his brain telling him that he was a piece of shit. He didn’t deserve John. As much as he wanted him back, he knew that he didn’t deserve him. John, who deserved all the world’s happiness, could do so much better than Alexander…

But, god, Alexander missed him. He missed falling asleep with him and waking up beside him and his random texts and his kisses…the smell of the jacket he usually refused to wear…his constant warmth…

If Alexander could go back in time…

But there he was. Sitting in his father’s car in front of his residence building. There was no more avoiding what he’d done, there was no more distracting himself, there was no more hiding. He sat in the front seat staring straight ahead with his arms folded over his chest, trying to stall. He knew his friends would already be back and he wasn't ready to face them.

“Alex, I still have to drive home,” George said gently, a hint for his son to speed up.

That was the thing about his father—no matter what Alexander did, George was understanding. Even if he disagreed, he still offered his son a gentle and welcoming shoulder to cry on. Sure, he lectured him and he was stern sometimes, but when Alexander knew what he’d done—how he’d messed up—his father knew to lay off.

Alexander sighed and got out of the car to grab his bag, slamming the trunk shut harder than he intended to.

“Bye, Dad,” he said quickly, not wanting to drag things out.

“See you soon, Alex. I love you.”

After a quick hug, Alexander watched his father wave as he drove away. He sighed heavily and dragged his feet into his second home.

The lobby was familiar and somewhat comforting. It brought up memories of being drunk with his friends, laughing as they tried to unlock the security door. It was often where he and John drunkenly made out, not a care in the world about who saw them. It was where he met his friends every morning for breakfast. Even if they were hungover to the point of throwing up, they didn’t miss their standing breakfast meet-up.

Alexander climbed the stairs instead of taking the sketchy elevator, stalling as much as possible. Too soon, however, he was standing in front of his door looking at the attached whiteboard that said:

Alex Ham John, if it’s after 2AM, GO AWAY. I’m sleeping!!

He’d written it back in September, when John made a habit of padding up to his room in the middle of the night to talk about whatever was on his mind because Lafayette yelled whenever John woke him up. Alexander sighed at the memory and rubbed his fist over the message, leaving a streaky, blurred mess in his wake.

Alexander unlocked his door and turned the light on, throwing his bag onto the floor and staring at the room. It felt so long ago that he was last here even though it had only been a couple of weeks; so much had happened since then.

“Alex?” Hercules called through the attached bathroom. He popped his head into Alexander’s room and shot a small, close-lipped smile at his roommate. “Hey.”

Alexander nodded stiffly, unsmiling, and unzipped his bag to put his clothes away.

“Alex,” Hercules prompted, letting himself fully into Alexander’s room and sitting down on the bed. “How are you?”

Alexander shrugged without looking up. The (one sided) conversation made him sad—his room felt so tense and uncomfortable with Hercules and he wasn’t used to that. Normally in a situation like this, he would have immediately gone into Herc’s room, flopped down on his bed, and chatted easily with him for hours.

“He misses you,” Hercules said quietly.

At this Alexander stopped and looked up. He felt a lump rise in his throat. Until that point, he’d avoided his feelings pretty well. The mention of John, however, made his eyes burn with tears.

“H-he does?” Alexander whispered.

“Of course he does. He still loves you.”

“He does?” he repeated.

Hercules bit his lip, nodding. Alexander dropped the shirt that was in his hands and sat on his knees on the floor, drawing a shuddery breath.

“Hey—Lex?” —Alexander looked up— “I’m…I’m really sorry. I’m sorry that we all teamed up on you. I know you were dealing with a lot. We should have been more understanding. Y-you shouldn’t’ve even gone to the funeral. I’m just—really sorry.”

Midway through his friend’s apology, Alexander felt the tears that burned his eyes start to fall freely. He’d never considered that perspective and he felt a massive weight lift off his shoulders that he wasn’t entirely to blame.

Hercules held his arms open and Alexander stood up to hug his best friend.

“I’m so sorry, Herc,” Alexander croaked. He buried his face in Hercules’ neck and sniffled.

“Shh, it’s okay. As far as I’m concerned, all is forgiven, okay? I talked to Laf as well and he agrees with me. I hope John comes around, too, but I honestly don’t know if that’s going to happen. He does miss you, but he’s still so, so angry. We’re trying to talk to him, but you need to talk to him as well, okay?”

Alexander nodded and looked up at Hercules.

“Thank you,” he whispered, wiping his eyes. “I think I should talk to him now.”

Hercules nodded and hugged Alexander tightly one more time.

“I think that’s a good idea.”

Alexander took the elevator by himself down to John and Lafayette’s floor and stopped in front of John’s door. He didn’t have a whiteboard because he and Alexander had accidentally knocked it down one night. They were really drunk and making out in the hallway when John pushed Alexander against the door and knocked it to the floor. They bragged about it for a week, much to the dismay of Hercules and Lafayette, who did not need to hear about it.

With a deep breath, Alexander stepped forward and knocked on the door. It felt foreign to him—he was used to just bursting in at any time of day. He felt weird and uncomfortable; it was all wrong.

Alexander could hear rustling and see the light flick on from under the door. He knew from experience that John was grumpy when he first awoke from a nap. Alexander was this close to turning around and going back later when the door swung open. John stood in front of him shirtless and with his hair down, a tangled mane that he pushed hastily off his face when he registered that Alexander stood in front of him.

Alexander could hear Lafayette’s voice in his mind. Alex, don’t play me. I know you were fucking. John only wears his hair down during sex. It’s a bit alarming, actually. Is nothing sacred anymore? I don’t need to know, okay? He needs a better system…

John didn’t say anything, but studied the face in front of him. Alexander felt all the words he planned to say fly out of his brain. They were replaced with a frantic desperation and a knot in the pit of his stomach.

“Is—is someone in there?” Alexander asked quietly, bracing himself for the answer he was nowhere near prepared to hear.

“Alex—” John said quietly, a sudden guilt surging through his bloodstream.

It was all Alexander could stand to hear—he had gotten his answer. Without another word, he spun on his heel and all but sprinted back to the elevator. He felt tears building in his eyes as he jammed his thumb into the button for his floor, praying that the doors would close before he started to cry.

As soon as the elevator started moving, he slid to the floor, the cool metal wall against his back, and hugged his knees to his chest, letting out a sob. He knew they weren’t together. He knew that John could do whatever he wanted. He knew that he had no right to be upset. But here he was. Had John already moved on? Had Alexander fucked up that badly that John was completely over him? He felt a crushing helplessness take over him as he rested his forehead on his kneecaps. There was nothing left for him to do.

John really was done.

It really was over.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened onto his floor, where he staggered back to his room, crawled into his bed in silence, and cried himself into a restless sleep in which he had a dream about watching Star Wars in silence with his arms wrapped around John…

A weight on the edge of the bed woke Alexander up. The darkness around his blinds told him that the sun had gone down—how long had he been sleeping? The weight was Hercules sitting down and patting Alexander’s leg.

“Hey—what happened with John?” Hercules asked.

Alexander’s breathing hitched in his throat as the grogginess blew away to be replaced with the same sadness he’d felt earlier.

“He moved on,” Alexander deadpanned, closing his eyes as if it would make it seem less real. He didn’t want to see the expression on Hercules’ face. He didn't want spreading the news to make the news real.

“He told you that? Alex?”

“No, the random guy in his bed told me that,” Alexander whispered.

Saying the words aloud made him feel like he was being punched in the gut.

“Oh my god,” Hercules said to himself. “Lex…Alexander, I am so sorry. I had no idea or I wouldn’t’ve—”

“S’not your fault,” Alexander mumbled, blinking the tears away. “I need to go to sleep. I have class in the morning.”

“Alex,” Hercules replied, his voice filled with concern. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Alexander rolled over and closed his eyes, shaking his head vaguely.

“It’s over. There’s nothing left to talk about.”

An incessant beeping. A tired groan. 7:30 AM. Alexander sighed and turned his alarm off. School had officially begun again.

Alexander dragged his feet as he got ready. Despite his near twelve hour sleep, he was exhausted. He looked in the mirror as he pulled his hair into a bun. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot—he’d been crying in his sleep. Alexander felt dehydrated, emotionally drained, and sick. He felt worse than when John had first broken up with him.

Then, at least, there had been hope. There had been the possibility of forgiveness. Now, there was nothing. The envelope had been licked and sealed; there was no more hope. It was over.

“Fuck,” Alexander mumbled as he burned his tongue on a sip of his second cup of coffee. He pulled on his coat and took the travel mug with him to class, knowing he would need the false sense of energy from the caffeine.

He sat down at the back of the lecture hall without giving the class much thought. It was the first day of the new semester so he pulled out his phone; they wouldn’t be covering much material aside from the syllabus, which he’d already read in an effort to take his mind off John. Sinking into his seat, he shifted his entire focus to the music playing in his earbuds. He didn’t want to be looked at, he didn’t want to be there. He wished he was invisible.

“Alexander?” came a voice, cutting through the song he was listening to.

He paused it and pulled out an earbud, looking around for the voice. It was one empty seat away from him. Alexander gaped—it was the last person he’d have thought would be attached to the voice at all.

It was Thomas.

“Fuck,” he said through an uncomfortable chuckle. “You look like shit. Are you sick?”

“No,” Alexander said simply.

“Hey—your jaw is better. Right? No more wires. That's good…”

Alexander nodded, staring straight ahead at the projector. Thomas chuckled uncomfortably again.

“How’s John?” he asked, clearly trying to continue the conversation.

“Okay, Thomas, listen,” Alexander snapped. “I know that you feel bad for punching me. It’s fine. I’m totally over it. Okay? My jaw is fine. You don’t need to apologize anymore. But John and I broke up so I’m not really in the mood to talk.”

From his peripherals, Alexander could see Thomas’ eyes widen before he nodded awkwardly and folded his arms across his chest.

“Oh,” he said quietly. “Sorry…I—I didn’t know.”

Alexander blinked and put his earbud back in.

The class only lasted half an hour before the professor took pity on the students’ souls and let them leave.

As Alexander stood up, he knocked his mug onto his lap, spilling lukewarm coffee all over his pants.

“Fuck,” he muttered. He pulled his backpack onto his shoulder and rushed into the washroom to wipe the spill before it dried.

He wrapped his earbuds around his phone and tucked it into his pocket, wetting a paper towel and holding it to the coffee stain on his thigh. In the mirror, Alexander watched the bathroom door open again, and he stifled a muttered curse word as Thomas walked in. Thomas stopped in his tracks when he caught Alexander’s eye and went to turn back around, but Alexander stopped him.

“Don’t be stupid—just use the fucking washroom.”

Thomas shrugged and pumped some soap onto his hands. “Lecture halls are just so gross,” he explained awkwardly.

Alexander didn’t respond. He stood under the air dryer to dry his pants and watched Thomas in the mirror. He found his eyes flickering down to his lips as he babbled randomly, trying to diffuse the tension.

“It’s like a cesspool of germs in there, y’know?” he continued. “I forgot how grimy you feel after class. I hate—”

“Thomas,” Alexander said.

Thomas looked up and caught Alexander’s eye in the mirror. He furrowed his brow as Alexander bit his lip. Before he could stop himself, Alexander crossed the room and grabbed Thomas by the waist, spinning him around.

“Shut the fuck up,” Alexander growled before jamming his lips to Thomas’s.

He remembered the sensation well, memories flooding his mind. Thomas’s mouth was stiff with surprise, but he quickly obliged and kissed Alexander back. Alexander nibbled down on his bottom lip. He felt a soft moan escape Thomas’s throat and vibrate against Alexander’s lips in response. He inhaled sharply and pulled Thomas closer, lacing his fingers into his hair and tugging.

“Fuck,” Thomas breathed.

“Stop talking,” Alexander commanded, pulling harder at his hair.

Thomas groaned and threw his head back, letting Alexander suck at a spot right below his earlobe that drove him crazy.

“That’s for breaking my fucking jaw,” Alexander whispered, smiling smugly at the hickey he left behind. He moved downward, leaving them on Thomas’s neck, collarbone, and one below his other ear.

“And so are those,” he growled.

Thomas smashed his lips back to Alexander’s and kissed him roughly, letting Alexander’s tongue explore the inside of his mouth with an intense curiosity. It had become unfamiliar territory in the months since they’d last kissed. Alexander wanted to drown himself in Thomas—to drown himself in human contact. It felt so wrong, so unfamiliar, but so, so good.

The feeling of Alexander’s tongue running along his palate made him groan and close his eyes in pleasure until he felt Alexander’s teeth bite again at his bottom lip and tug him forward. Hard.

“Ouch,” Thomas said in surprise, pulling back a bit.

“That’s for being an asshole,” Alexander smirked, grabbing at Thomas’s cheeks and pulling their lips back together.

He could feel Thomas’s hot breath between kisses; he was a groaning mess, weak at the knees and hungry for more of Alexander. Hungry for as much of Alexander as he could get.

“Alex,” Thomas moaned. He was desperate for more contact—desperate to be free of the confines of his jeans. “Can we go back to my room?”

“Fuck no,” Alexander breathed. “We’re going back to mine.”

He felt Thomas sigh into his mouth as he reached up to tug at his hair again.

“I hope you’re ready for this,” Alexander continued in a low voice. “Because you’re mine for the next two fucking hours—you owe me.”

“For what?” Thomas asked. He looked down at Alexander, whose eyes were dark and filled with lust.

“For breaking my fucking jaw,” Alexander said, as if it was the most obvious logic in the world.

Thomas ran his tongue slowly along his top lip. “Fuck,” he breathed.

“You’re mine till I say you’re not,” Alexander growled. “Let’s go.”