#when you can do so much more into smth but decided not to coz in the end

[atsu-i]

.

[cocozydiaries]

this has been sitting in the drafts for a hot minute and you might as well get comfy coz this is a really long post (i’m so sorry) like whatever ur thinking it is longer. i’m a yapper :(

first thing i want out of the way: THIS IS NOT AN ANGSTY BACKSTORY i’m not about that life😭🙏 i want happiness and comfort pls and thxs (some minor stuff but only coz i couldn’t think of any way around it)

@keishawantskisses @livingmydreamlife5555 i posted my mha drself intro now it’s ur move🤭 (also if anyone else plans on posting their mha drself intro PLS TAG ME)

i’m so nervous? like i dont post about my drs much😭 anyways enjoy!!

Around when i was four i was adopted into a really nice family :> (aww so sweet)

With my family both my parents work as spies for a major undercover spy based hero company that works on breaking down villains from the inside by infiltrating them (you thought this was gonna be a chill backstory huh🙄 guess again).

See a lot of “villains” aren’t the typical villains you see heroes fighting day to day. Some keep their crimes traditional. They keep themselves lowkey while their crimes affect things and lives on a big scale. With these kinds of criminals it’s pretty difficult to prove they’re doing this stuff directly.

Can’t immediately fight a criminal if they’re not technically a villian. However they are still considered villains since the use of quirks if often involved and the use of quirks is what sets aside a villain from a regular criminal. Proving it is where things get difficult (think spooky gang sorta stuff and how often they can get away with stuff but then add in quirks into the mix)

That’s why these sort of spy agencies exists. To gather intel and then weed out the rats! (They also do other stuff this was just an example)

These spy agencies are also totes government approved (not to be confused with vigilantes which are also illegal) seeing as they work pretty closely with cops and some heroes. However for obvious reasons they’re kept out of the public eye.

To compare ig people would talk about these companies in the same way most people talk about the CIA or FBI. They know they exist and sometimes make jokes about them watching people. All that good old expected stuff.

Both my parents obviously know about each other’s jobs and that’s actually how they met me!

(god this is a long post)

Growing up my parents weren’t in the picture soooo yk. Care homes ig🚶‍♀️

I was around four when my quirk manifested. Long story short i accidentally flooded the place! Luckily it wasn’t insanely dangerous (only ankle level water on the first floor) but the place i was at still decided to switch me over to a different home meant for kids with slightly more difficult quirks just in case.

This place was essentially like the other homes just more equipped to handle kids with difficult or powerful quirks. They have more supervisors on hand with less kids.

Considering how some kids are placed in care after having just undergone smth traumatic to get them there, their quirks aren’t always very stable around this period in their lives. These facilities are meant to help them adjust mentally as well as assist them with their quirks. Some kids temporarily lose their quirks. Some kids lack control over overly powerful ones. Even in care quirk privilege still exists…

Flashy quirks aren’t as common as one would think so there aren’t a lot of kids like that and even less that are in care but whenever a kid like this does appear they’re transferred to these places to help them.

My life here, although short, was actually quite nice. I got along with the staff and the other kids well enough. I was happy and like four… like what else was i gonna be? Four going though midlife crisis?

However being the society that we live in quirks are pretty important and as such they’re a highly considered aspect in the whole adopting process.

In some cases some people might want easy to handle kids and so will want quirks to match that. On the flip side some people chase those flashy quirks. Hoping to mould kids into smth worthy of it (cruel i know but it’s a cruel world).

Some people defend these kinds of people by saying that even prior to quirks a child’s physical/mental well being was always smth that was put into consideration with these kinds of choices so by following that line of thinking aren’t quirks just an extension of that?

Of course social workers will do their best to make sure kids are taken in to homes with their best interest at heart but these kinda people slip through the cracks.

However my situation was a bit like the second. I was chosen for my quirk (just like all my older siblings were). With my parents they’re basically given funding (by that lil company they work at) to support the kids under their care and help guide them to follow in their footsteps. It’s basically a sort of investment.

There’s a lot of debate as to how ethical this is. The kids are given the choice to follow through once they reach a certain age but preparing kids to be spies… yh it’s an iffy topic.

Some argue that hero schools do a similar thing since people spend their whole lives preparing for those while others think it isn’t a fair comparison from an emotional perspective. Again this is a really forked up society.

As for the kids? They don’t do any spy work until they’re old enough ofc but in some very rare cases (like with my older brother and sister) they might.

Besides what kid doesn’t want to be a spy? Also they’re given the choice and any assignments they do complete (no matter how rare) there’s a set amount of money put aside for them once they reach a certain age.

The main thing to be considered when placing these future spies into houses is their quirk’s efficiency. Take my parents for instance. My mum is more suitable for short term assignments (like guarding people or whatnot) seeing as her quirk essentially boosts her physical strength while my dad does more long term lowkey stuff (espionage) since his quirk is more subtle.

My quirk on a surface level might not suitable for spy work but it makes for a great weapon if handled correctly.

So yeah. I have a future spy turned hero sorta thing going for me. I also would very much like to clarify this isn’t a sad backstory. I had a good childhood and a decent upbringing. My parents didn’t have to take in any kids but they wanted to. Also, unlike some people, they will still consider me their kid regardless of if i decide to follow their line of work or not. Cough cough take notes endeavour cough.

[lostbbygorl]

EREN YEAGER GETTING YOU TO STOP GIVING HIM THE SILENT TREATMENT:

Setting: Modern AU

~~~~

✨We all know what Eren is like, and let's face it, a BUNCH of reasons pop into our heads when you think of why Eren's receiving the silent treatment from you

✨ He probably lost his temper and yelled some really hurtful shit at you. He's GREAT at that

✨ Whatever the reason, here he is, lying on the couch self reflecting while you wipe your tears in the bathroom

✨ By self reflecting I mean feeling very guilty but thinking of ways to get you to talk to him

✨ Eren is not silent, so therefore Eren hates silence, especially from the love of his life

✨ He can go maximum 24 hours without hearing your voice, and then, X GAME MODE IS SWITCHED ON

✨ He's gonna do the classic whining and pouting and soft murmuring of apologies 20 minutes after the argument, but if you make the mistake of locking the door on him and leaving him on the couch, NO MORE SOFT BOY EREN

✨ Eren is an overall nice boy, but we all know that when he chooses to be the main character who turned into a villain, HE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER WHO TURNED INTO A VILLAIN

✨ So how does Eren get you to crack? It's simple: piss you off/put you in a situation where you NEED his help

✨ And he's doing this all with the most vindictive look on his face ✋

✨ Eren's going to tighten the caps of every jar and bottle in the house to a level only him and Hulk can open them

✨ He's placing everything in the top shelves cause he's a fucking tower and you're not

✨ And it's all the important shit too

✨ Oh, you're gonna use a tool? He hid it!

✨ And the most evil plan of all: Changing your phone's password while you're out of sight to smth only he knows

✨ So 1 day has passed and Eren's playing innocent smh

✨ You notice things are out of place and IMMEDIATELY SUSPECT HIM

✨ But you have too much pride, so you decide to read a book and not scroll through your phone whilst drinking water and not apple juice

✨ Eren knows your resolve will crumble any minute now, so he's timing this shit

✨ Enough is enough, you storm up to him, and he gives you a sweet smile

✨ " EREN YEAGER"- You unintentionally doing a Gabi Braun impression perfectly

✨ You hit his chest till he grabs both your hands and wraps them around his neck. Next comes his power move: a kiss

✨ How tf could you not soften when he kisses you like that, and then kisses your neck and whispers an apology

✨ He KNOWS what he's done and he's smirking into your neck

✨ Ofc you forgive him and then he carries you to the bed for snuggles but ofc the snuggle session doesn't remain a snuggle session for too long coz it's Eren

✨ " Stop rubbing against my dick"

" I didn't rub against shit"

" Nah you did, and now you're lying. Gotta fuck the lying habit out of you, babe"

✨ How tf do you deal with him honestly?

✨ Oh and he's gonna tell you the password don't worry

[druck-in-love]

Okeyy here it is!! I decided to put together a step by step (gif) coloring tutorial where i list the layers i use and how i've so far made them work for me.

I've been giffing for 2 years now (i'm using PS CC2019, the example pics are in finnish but icons and placements should be the same) but it's an ongoing learning process.

My coloring style is quite natural, i don't do fancy stuff often and i mostly just want the colors to look as true to real as possible but better than originally. And for this kind of style i've found the steps below working for me.

I also don't have any base psds or anything that i'd often use. I always start the coloring for each set from the scratch because, to me, it's the most fun part of giffing. I have 6 layers I use every time and then some random additional ones that i often add too. None of this is me saying what you should do, this all just me explaining what i do and hopefully this can be helpful to someone.

Ok ok time to get to the point so:

1. Curves

I always, like literally always, start with this layer

Sometimes i just drag the line upwards to brighten the gif but very often i use the eyedropper tool

Choose the white tool, pick the whitest (but not 100% white coz then it won't do anything) spot and it will make that the whitest part of the gif. It also works great at correcting the colors, sometimes you need to try multiple different spots to get the best result

The black dropper tool works the same way, only opposite, so clicking on the darkest spot you make that the blackest part of the gif

If the effect is good but a bit too much, you can lower the opacity of the layer, or the other way, so if it did well but not enough then duplicate the layer

Example: the difference between the left and right photo is 2 clicks and this, my dudes, is why i worship curves. I chose the white eyedropper tool and clicked on that light spot visible in the water, then i chose the black eyedropper and clicked on fatou’s hair and that’s it. Needs more work, but that’s a pretty allright (and easy!!) start (zoom to see better)

2. Levels

I drag the left and right sliders a bit to the center to get contrast (left ~5-20, right ~240)

The eyedroppers work on this layer pretty much the same way as in curves, but i'm more used to using them only with curves

3. Black and white gradient map

I set the blending mode to soft light and lower the opacity to ~10-30 %, this brings some depth to the colors imo

4. Vibrance

I usually add ~20-60, it really varies tho and you can just wing it most times

5. Exposure

I set the top one (exposure) to 0,1 - 0,2 and bottom one (gamma) to 0,97 - 0,90. This is an effective layer so better not do too much

6. Color balance

Owing my life to this layer

I add this layer at around this point of coloring but i drag it to be the bottom layer, since when it's under the rest of the layers it's more effective

In the midtones, i always drag the bottom slider towards blue, something as small as +2 might work, sometimes you need to go +15 or so. I might drag the middle slider slightly to the left to reduce the green tones, and the top one on either side depending on the tone of the gif

Example: this one doesn’t have any of those other 5 coloring layers i always use so it needs more work but also it shows how effective color balance is. I added more blue than normally, at least with one layer, but this one needed it imo. Love to see the green go whoosh

At this point the coloring might be done (jk it likely isn’t) but if it needs some more work then i might try one or some/all of these:

7. Photofilter

I mostly use either warm orange filter to bring some warmness to the colors or cold blue filter to correct yellow/green/red tones

8. Hue/saturation

I choose red and drag the middle slider (saturation) to -5 to -20, this helps to reduce the orange/unnatural skintones

Example:

9. Selective color

Playing around with whichever color i want to add or reduce, if i feel like the gif needs more contrast i choose neutral and/or black and drag the bottom (black) color to the right.

If sometimes the whites are too blinding, i choose white and then the bottom option (black) and drag it to the right ~10 -20.

If the skintones are too yellowish, i choose yellow and go -40 / -40 / -80 and leave the blacks at 0. If it does too much, i lower the opacity of the layer, or in case i want it to be more, i duplicate the layer

Example: (zoom and cry happy tears over the ugley yellowness being gone)

10. Gradient map

For example blue-white gradient to get to colder tones, yellow-white to brighten/soften the colors or smth like pink-blue if you want to get fancier (the options are limitless tbh)

I set these to soft light and lower the opacity, usually to less than 40%

If i want the color to strongly affect the entire gif, then i leave the blending mode to normal or choose color

11. Brightness

Adding this if some more brightness is needed (i don't use the contrast option here but go to levels instead, if needed)

_________

Tips with poc!!

Some things i've found to be helpful when wanting to bring color back to the skintone after brightening or other adjustments have taken some of it away:

a. Check the points 8 & 9

In selective coloring choosing neutral or black and then black in them and dragging it to the right helps to darken the skintone

Try choosing red or yellow and then yellows or blacks in them and dragging the slider either to the left or right, depending if you want to add or reduce the yellow/red tone

Honestly the best advice i can give with selective coloring is to just simply play around, choose a color, drag them sliders to the left 'n right and see what happens

b. Go to channel mixer and add a little bit of red (+101-105)

c. Add levels or contrast or vibrance layer

d. Choose a warm colored photo filter

e. Be careful with exposure and too much brightness

_________

Soooo yeah, these are the layers i use, sometimes you can't do everything with the same layer so for example i might add one or two more curves to get brightness, or multiple selective coloring layers or add another color balance etc.

Generally i like to do small changes with one layer and not everything all at once.

_________

As for when saving the gif for web, these are my settings. I translated the one’s that aren’t obvious but everything else i’m assuming doesn’t need translating since this view always looks the same.

I use diffusion 90% the time, but when it doesn’t look quite right i try pattern. And sometimes when the gif has been really dark originally (😩) and has needed tons of brightening layers, noise might be the best option.

At the bottom i have the quality set as “bicubic”.

_________

So that’s it! If you made it this far, thank you, ily <3 Lots of stuff i’ve learned along the way and lots of stuff to be learned. Hoping that maybe you got to learn something from my way of coloring, too. And if not, thanks for reading anyway 😌✌🏻

[thisdreamplace]

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

[mo2k]

YES! Bring Mitsuya too! He would totally be down for it coz.... (maybe I shouldn't say 🤫 it's kind of a spoiler?) Maybe I could get him to make me a dress while he's here 🥺 Girl, if Baji tries to beat you up I'll beat him up 😤 I've got fighting experience coz of my brother so I can hold my ground! Now bring him along coz I lowkey wanna braid his hair 🙂

Face masks have never been my favourite thing to do... but just once.. for you! I feel like Draken would be good with nails too 👀

I can just imagine the confusion on your dad's face 🤣 anyway the first ep really hits you hard! The reason why me and my friend decided to watch AOT is kinda funny 😅 but anyway she watched ep 1 first and told me that it was super sad and gruesome and I was like that sound fun and we both enjoyed it 😅 You should continue but don't push yourself! Ooh the 104th cadets are just Eren,Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha and the rest of the gang and the veterans are Levi, Erwin, Hanji, Mike and the rest! You'll meet them soon

He started watching anime recently tho... I have no idea why (this is my thing!) He mostly calls me out when I simp over chataracters... He watched Haikyuu a few days ago and made it extra clear that he DOES NOT like Oikawa 😐

I feel better now! Actually I didn't feel anything after the vaccine at all 😅 just my legs hurting from running around and standing in line all day But I'm ok now!

Oh sure thing but wdym spoilers — AmAnDa YeR rEaDiNg ThE MaNgAs ArEn’T yEr ? 🧐 Awwww yes yes he will. If he doesn’t I’ll make him do it (‘cause i’m cool yea yea yea pls just ignore me — 😏🙄😅😂) Thank you ! 🥺💖 That’s very kind of yer but no, I don’t want yer to get hurt. I can take on him myself ig 🤡🤡🤡 Babe r u alright ?? I quite understand u tho, i fight with my sis a lot nah almost every day, although it’s more about words than fists oops Alrightyyy Baji-san ! Come over and let amanda braid your hair rn !! 😁 Can I put some bows or maybe some cute hair clips on his hair too ? 🥺🥺🥺 Oh I’m pretty sure yer ain’t goin’ anywhere soon baji-san —

Lol it’s okay luv ! Face masks aren’t everyone thing, not exactly mine either, but it’s good to try smth different <3 See ?? Everyone thinks you’re amazing, draken. Be more proud of yourself ! (And also your marvellous works —)

Ahahahaha well maybe at first, but he immediately understand what’s goin’ on with me the second I pointed to the screen. Ig it really did hit me hard lmao 🤣 Omg wow yeah you like sad anime — I remember yer once told me yer do — so maybe that’s why you say that ? 😂 And oh you like action anime too, tis one’s kinda your type isn’t it ? But yeah I’m glad yer and yer friend enjoyed !! It’s alright dear ! Tyvm ! For me I personally think aot is v. safe tho, like — they don’t really focus too much on scenes where titan gobbled up ppl, and yea that makes it much less scary than I thought it would be. I like that.

Oh oh oh — I see I see — I already meet almost all of ‘em !! Yes I met captain Levi already omgggg — he’s captain ?! 😱😱😱 Plus he’s super cool like he just came for some mins, nah maybe even secs but he already start slashing and killing titans ?! That’s very amazing !! He really impressed me a lot, I’m stunned, really. Yes I admit, I admit right away that’s such an excellent character. *claps claps* So tis da man who’s half of yer heart ? Good taste yer got there 😏✨

Also also — there’s tis scene where it shocks me very much, um prob the one that eren got gobbled by the titan… my jaw hurts bc it was dropped too much but I just can’t help it ‘cause wattttt ?? He’s a main charac isn’t he ?? Then he’s gunna be dead like that ?? No ThAt’S iMpOsSiBlE — but then I found out that he’s a titan but it didn’t shock me that much ‘cause I kinda have guess before that he’s the titan, it still shock me a bit tho… wait what am i even saying rn ??? 💀💀💀

And mikasa’s past !! Super sad… I felt like my heart sank as I watch, damn tis series really hits me hard in… literally everything oh mah gosh —

… Dang it. Tell me when he simps over anime charac too, that’s da time for yer revenge. Calls him out, annoyed him to the death of the world bae. That’s what I’ll do too if I were you, too bad my sissy already simp for anime charac before I even start watching one… ugh —

Hm what ? Why ? WhY ???? Oikawa here — tis baby here is such a good charac… but oh well yea maybe Oikawa’s not really his type nvm — Dw bae maybe he just not like him but we do and that’s what really matter ♡︎

Ah glad to hear that love ! And oh yeah me too ! I didn’t feel anything except the pain in my upper arm, but I still didn’t catch a cold or anything, HELP my mum says that I’m super-tough like a buffalo omlllll 😭😭😭😭 She’s so CRUEL ! Oh I can understand that hehe, but I’m still glad to hear that you’re okay now <3 BUT YER STILL NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YERSELF OR ELSE IMMA CALL SHINICHIRO-SAN ☹️☹️☹️ I’M SUPER-SERIOUS HERE SO DON’T CHA DARE !!!

- With love, BamBam 🦢🌙

[sarcastically-defensive17]

heeeey, can I request smth? O: Like maybe with Calum where he has an on and off relationship with y/n, like not really dating but they sometimes act like it with the good stuff included, bc of him being afraid of commitment, so some other times he's just really cold and hurts y/n but like all the other 3 really love her, so one day he just watches her fitting just right with the boys and all of his gfs so he knows he's ready to start something real with her and she's just so happy and just fluff

Bonk - C. Hood

I love this request! I hope I did it justice! If you don’t like it, let me know! I’m always open to constructive criticism!

Requests are open! Send em in!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

A friends with benefits relationship was always hard to maintain. Most claimed it to be the end of friendships, the beginning of doomed relationships or simply a difficult thing to maintain.

Y/N never really understood what made it so hard for others. Calum and her had been friends for years, and after a drunken night spent together, decided to continue their late night -and even early morning- escapades of passion.

But there were moments where Calum found himself longing for the woman when he shouldn’t, and not simply when he wanted a quick rumble in the sheets. Or on the lounge. Or the counter. Or wherever they decided.

Sure, he enjoyed being able to connect with his best friend in a way that is private to only them, but nothing scared him more than being confined to one woman.

It usually flared up when the guys - particularly Michael - would give him hell about their close relationship.

The most recent event? Y/N and Calum curled up on his king sized bed together as she ran her fingers through his hair. They were comfortable. It was a regular occurrence for them.

“Dude, why don’t you just take her on a proper date? You’re basically together anyways,” he laughed, eyeing Calum as they played a round of Mario Kart.

“No, were not,” Calum felt his mood dropping. He hated when they would bring up his relationship with Y/N. Hell, he hated when they would bring up his relationship with anybody.

“You sure? You’re blind if you haven’t noticed the way she looks at you,” he winked at the kiwi man, nudging him softly with his elbow.

As if on cue, the woman in question opens the door, strutting into the house as she has done many times.

She stopped to hug Michael from behind, not distracting their game.

“Hey Y/N!” He shouted, his voice full of excitement. “Calum is giving me nothing, I need some serious competition. You up for it?”

She repeated the gesture with Calum, although she barely received a response.

“Maybe later?” She winced softly, “Cal and I are meant to be catching a movie tonight.”

“Can’t go.” The words fell from Calum’s lips and he stood.

“Uh, okay? Everything alright?” Y/N recoiled. She was used to the hot and cold from Calum, but no matter how many times it happens, it still has the same sting.

She fears nothing more than rejection, which is why she keeps her feelings buried deep.

Before they knew it, Calum had closed the door behind him and set off walking with no destination.

He wasn’t sure why he had such anxiety surrounding the idea of being in an exclusive relationship. Hell, he hasn’t even looked at another woman since Y/N and he had begun their escapades.

He had no need to, she had everything he was looking for.

Y/N was just as confused as Michael was.

The room was still, both her and Michael blinking between the door that Calum escaped through and each other.

When she was around the guys it was easy to forget her worries. The other two arrived shortly after Calum had left, and after receiving a knowing look from Michael, chose not to question the absence of their bass player.

A few hours had passed, Calum had wandered mindlessly with no specific destination, except for when his feet dragged him back to his house.

He still hadn’t gotten to the bottom of his conundrum.

He loved Y/N. There was no doubt about that. And he really enjoyed being with her, he just wasn’t sure if he had strong enough feelings for her to pursue something that caused so much fear.

The sound of laughter echoed through the closed door. He found his stomach warming at the sound of Y/N snorting. She only did that when she was laughing so hard and forgot to breathe.

She did that a lot around all of the guys.

He pushed the door open softly, as to not disturb the four people inside. Michael was straddling Ashtons lap, attempting to lick the mans face and Ashton was trying his hardest to crane his neck away from the blonde man.

Luke and Y/N were on the floor, switch controllers abandoned and a finished race projected on the television screen.

Michael’s token character, red Yoshi, came last, and Calum could only assume they had been playing so that the loser has to complete a dare. Y/N was a sucker for games like that because she made sure to never lose.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scene. He couldn’t understand how one woman could look so radiantly beautiful. She would always smile so wide when she was around them, and for a while Calum convinces himself it was because of him, but he quickly told himself that it wasn’t.

He found himself reciprocating the happiness when she was around. Most days he would wake up and the first thing he thought of would be ‘What is Y/N doing today’ or he would ask the woman to spend the day with him.

Y/N would find herself doing the same, or so she said when he asked for reassurance that their relationship wasn’t developing more than their best friends with benefits situation.

He couldn’t deny the slight drop in his stomach when she confirmed that there was nothing else.

And Y/N couldn’t deny the way her heart sank when he questioned their situation. She would never say it, but she longed for more. If she couldn’t get more, she was fine, but you can’t blame a girl for wanting.

Calum was so lost in his thoughts, his eyes trapped on Y/N’s smiling face that he didn’t realize Luke had spoken up from beside him.

“You still gonna deny that you have feelings for her, mate?” He whispered low enough that the others in the room couldn’t hear.

Calum jerked out of his trance, furrowing his brows for a minute but no words came to mind.

He did have feelings for Y/N.

How could he have spent so long denying it when it was obvious to everybody. Everybody but him, and he hopes Y/N.

“Shit,” he cursed under his breath, rolling his eyes at the smirk crossing Luke’s features.

“You gonna tell her?” Cal shook his head softly, then nodded, then shook his head again.

“I don’t know mate, I don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t want to hurt her.”

Luke let out a laugh that was the slightest bit too loud, catching everybody’s attention. He played it off with a cough and turned to the brown eyed man beside him.

“You think she would hurt you? She’s head over heels for you, Calum!” He whispered, but his tone was serious.

Cal stopped for a moment, swirling the ring on his middle finger that Y/N had given him for his birthday.

She noticed him eyeing it one day and bought it before he had the chance to. He was surprised when the ring the shop said was out of stock was in the hands of the woman on the morning of his birthday.

“What if I hurt her, Luke? What answer do you have for that? If I’m in a relationship with her then my shit becomes her shit! I don’t want to have her worrying. She deserves something-“

“What do I deserve, Calum?” The sound of her voice made his heart stop for a moment. “And if you think I don’t already already worry about you like crazy, then you’re blind.”

She laughed softly, and anybody could detect the slight nerves hidden underneath.

She stepped closer to him, pushing Luke aside softly and grabbing the brunet mans hands in her smaller ones.

“I know, commitment is a big thing for you, Cal. And I know we probably shouldn’t be having this conversation in front of these twats,” A chorus of offended sounds echoed around the room. “But, if what you said is true, and you’re willing to give us a chance, I wouldn’t say no.”

Calum was dumbfounded. He didn’t know that she heard their conversation. He didn’t even really know if she would consider the idea.

“How much did you hear?”

“All of it. You lot don’t know what inside voices are,” she smirked and he wanted nothing more than to kiss the curve of her cheeks.

“You really mean it?” He couldn’t find the words to say. He struggled to get the question out through the lump in his throat.

She nodded softly, “I honestly thought you knew how I feel about you. It’s all those three talk about.”

His mind was racing.

There was the very real possibility that this could end in a mess, and the friendship would be affected. There was the possibility that he wouldn’t be what Y/N wants and she would find somebody better. There was a good chance he could hurt her.

But there is always the risk.

Finally, he made his decision.

“Y/N?” She made a sound of acknowledgement, her eyes boring into his and erupting a warmth in his chest. “Wanna go on a date tomorrow night?”

The smirk returned to her lips, and he adopted a matching smile, “thought you’d never ask.”

“Now that that’s settled, I have a question!” Michael interjected, his lips set into a frown. “Did you two really bonk on the lounge? Coz I’ve been sitting here all day and I’m really grossed out!”

[nad-zeta]

Hii! I’ve been meaning to ask for a mashup! Appearance wise, I’m look like a pretty basic white person (brown hair, eyes, and freckles), but I’m hella small and have a lot of curves (which looks shit when you’re small). I’m also way too pale a I don’t usually sunbathe. I love dancing, baking, reading (be it FF or literature) and I love sports of all kinds (except basketball... height tingz). Part 1 🍎

Part 2 🍎 I’m asexual, Aquarius and ENTP. I do not have a lot of sexual experience, as the boys I liked would turn a blind eye to my PDA dislike (and my asexuality). I’m a pretty outgoing person who tries to get a long with everyone (and I usually apologize immediately after I’ve done smth offending). Cuddles are a big yes if 1. The person is alright with it 2. It’s not in public. Loneliness is not smth I can cope with, and I am fine with quietly sitting beside someone of they are busy   Part 3 🍎 Due to my nonexistent love life, I can only refer to my 2D life lmao. I usually go for the arseholes with character development 😬 (Gaara from Naruto is prob the best instance). I’m very nurturing as i was always the oldest in my classes & friend groups. Age is also my biggest insecurity. Due to a lot of moving across the globe, I have lost quite a few yrs of education, 17 & in grade 8. I’m pretty smart tho (grade school teacher thought I’m gifted 🤡), but I can get arrogant real quick Part 4 🍎 coz I can’t summarize for life. My other fault is that I’m too honest & blunt. I mentioned that i wanna get along with everyone, but if their opinion opposes mine (& & they criticise me for it), then I’ll leave them be. Having relationships based on lies is not smth I want. So I usually like engaging in debates I don’t know which fandoms you make matchups of (do we even pick???). In case I have to choose, I’d go with Ikevamp. I’m hella sorry for all these parts & thank you 🙏

Hi hi, love ❤❤thank you so so much for the request! 🦋Hehe, I’m so sorry for taking too long with it! I hope you enjoy this love and I hope you have a wonderful day! ❤🦋🌻So I was thinking Theo/Motzart  for a while, but then I saw you were an ENTP, and I made up my mind!🌻🦋

So I match you with................ Isaac

The first time you meet Isaac was when all the residents were gathered in the dining room the morning after you arrived. Sabastian had come to fetch you for breakfast, and the second you walked through the dining room door, Comte strode to your side and introduced you to everyone. You were rather social, so of course, you chatted away with the residences.

Breakfast was going well, until out of the corner of your eye, you could see Arthur and Dazai bullying poor shy Isaac. They had placed an apple in front of him and teased him. Isaac shot them an irritated look all while going as red as an apple at the embarrassment. You didn’t know why but you couldn’t help but come up for the hedgehog, so you gave Arthur and Dazai a piece of your mind. 

Napoleon who had watched the whole scene unfold, smiled his brotherly smile and invited you to help him and Isaac at the makeshift school. The former emperor of France low key gave you no choice as before you knew it you were in a carriage on your way to the fountain where they gave the class.

Some children came up to you and asked you for help with some science problems they were having. You took one look at the problem, and you wanted to dig a hole and hide in it. Isaac made his way up to you and the children. and upon seeing the distress on your face, he decided to answer the question for you. You were feeling rather low after that, as education and your age has always been your biggest insecurity

You opted to play with the children instead of teaching, as you loved sports and physical activities. You seemed to have impressed the children with your athletic skills as soon they were fighting over who would have you in their teams. You spent the rest of the afternoon cheerfully playing with the children. As the sun began to set, one by one, the children made their ways back home; eventually, it was only you, Isaac and Napo left.

Napoleon smiled and told you that he was going to get a coach to take the three of you home. It was now only you and Isaac sitting on the fountain wall waiting for Napo to return. Surprisingly enough, Isaac broke the silence. Cherry eyes gazed at you, “Why did you look so distressed when the children asked you for help?” You had told him about how you travelled the world sacrificing your education, and that you often felt insecure about your age. To this he simply nodded, after a few more moments of silence Isaac spoke up again, this time sending you a meek smile, “What if I taught you, that way the month spent here won’t be wasted, and you won’t fall behind on your schoolwork?” You smiled at the kind offer and immediately accepted.

Now every evening after supper, you and Isaac would sit together in the library. Isaac would teach you a variety of subjects ranging from maths and science to English and history. You honestly didn’t feel so alone or insecure, as Isaac was a non-judgemental patient teacher. To be honest, he did such a good job teaching you, that even Jean decided to join the classes. 

After class, you would always make you and Isaac some tea and chat his ears off well into the night. Not that he minded. He didn’t know much about human behaviour or interactions, so just as he taught you, you taught him. As time passed, you and Isaac got to know each other better and better. You found that Isaac had started opening up more and more to you, and your opinion of him when you first met had completely changed.

And Isaac found himself falling more in love with you with each passing day. He loved that you were a fellow intellectual and reader. His favourite thing in the world to do is spend time with you as you both sit quietly in the room together each reading their own book. He loves the little debates the two of you often engage in, and he found himself growing more and more as a person every second he spent with you.

In your free time you and Isaac still help out at Napos school, and although thanks to Isaac, you definitely had the knowledge to teach the children, you always opt to play sports with them instead. At some point, Isaac saw you having so much fun he found himself joining in. Napoleon would always watch the two of you cuties with a found gaze knowing that his friend had finally found someone who could bring him out of his shell and grow into his full potential.

You quickly found out about Isaacs difficult transition from human and vampire and the consequences of that. You also knew that your friend would often go hours without eating as he would be so absorbed in his research. Naturally, the nurturing side of your personality started to show. You made it your personal mission to bake Isaac yummy snacks to make sure his vampire urges are well under control. Although Isaac has never said as much, he loves it when the sounds of your soft footsteps approach his room, and his senses are suddenly filled with the scent of freshly baked goods. He can’t help but softy smile as you gently knock the door and peek into his room. Isaac freaken LOVES you cooking and is always a very happy hedgehog whenever he is nibbling on the snacks you make for him.

Another thing Isaac absolutely loves is when you plonk yourself down in his room and read. He loves the company even though neither of you is talking, as he hates to admit it, but before you arrived, he always felt a sharp pain in his chest that he could never place. And after you arrived, he finally had the word for it, Loneliness. He can’t help but smile a little brighter and feel a little happier whenever you are around him.

One day Comte handed you an invitation to a ball that a friend of his was throwing. You were so excited you decided to run straight to Isaac’s room to ask him to be your date. You loved dancing, and you could imagine nothing better than to spend the evening dancing with Isaac. The second you told Isaac about the ball his face dropped into a frown as he softly confessed that he had never learned how to dance. “Then ill teach you,” you exclaimed brimming with excitement.

You spent many days teaching Isaac how to dance in the garden, and finally, the day of the ball had arrived. Isaac was determined to confess his feeling for you that night. He met you in the mansion foyer, and you honestly took his breath away. The two of you made your way to the ball and spent a large portion of the evening, happily chatting and dancing. 

Finally, Isaac worked up the courage to take your hand and lead you outside onto the balcony. Cherry eyes seemed to peer deep into your soul as he told you he loved you. Honestly, you were overjoyed. You too had long ago fallen in love with him but due to your lack of experience in the field of romance, thanks to boys who never respected your boundaries, you were rather clueless when it came down to it. Isaac smiled and nuzzled his nose against you as he said that the two of you could figure it out together.

Your relationship was very much based on honestly and open communication. 

Isaac honestly didn’t mind that you were asexual if anything he loved it cause this boy loves to cuddle. The two of you are almost always cuddling or snuggling each other. 

Although your title has changed from friend to girlfriend almost, nothing changed between the two of you. As to be honest, the pair of you were acting like a married couple before you even entered into a relationship. Of course, the biggest difference between then and now is, lots of cuddles and kisses.

Isaac loves nothing more in the whole world than to hold you in his arms, as the two of you read together. When you are not around him he feels lonely and empty, so he tries his best to spend as much time with you as possible

This boy will 100% shower you with endless amounts of affection every moment he can get. Whether it’s coming up behind you to hug and nuzzle your neck as you bake yummy goodies or whether you are just quietly reading. It is also not uncommon for the two of you to get into tickle fights especially if you beat Isaac in the sports you are playing together.

Other potential matches……………Theo

Hope you enjoyed this, dear! Sending ya lots of hugs! ❤🌻🌺

[ardentlythieving]

HEWWO EVERYBODY IT’S END OF YEAR RECAP TIME WITH ME: UR PAL ARDO

First of all if ur reading this, merry christmas if u celebrate it and happy holidays if u don’t!!! Y’all are amazing people and I hope this time of year is a good one for you, and if it’s not I hope you find the time to do smth nice for urself!!

Dam this year has been crazy tho. I mean if ur dash is anything like mine you’ve prob seen all those posts talking about how long this year has felt re: the sheer amount of stuff happening. But on a more individual level there’s some stuff I wanna say I guess so in no particular order here is my Thoughts™ coz there’s been some good, some bad, and some weird this year. 

So, this year has been a kind of wild one for me in terms of things changing. The big one being that I started university and kinda lost contact with most of my pals from high school. All goods tho, coz I met some amazing new people thru tabletop gaming who idk if I’m at the friends point with yet, but I defo wanna try and get there coz they’re cool as heck. It’s true what people say that starting university is a big change coz DAM things have been wild and hopefully are gonna keep being wild next year espc coz one of my online friends is moving down to start at my university and I’m super excited to meet her in person!! Speaking of meeting people in person I finally got to hang out with @chipmunkwithwings at her place and that was one of the highlights of my year for sure! She’s a super cool person and that week was just utterly brilliant.

Anyways while we’re on the topic of friends this year sure has been exciting for that as well. I’ve made some amazing new ones, gotten closer with some older ones, had some drift apart and thru it all I’ve learnt something important. Namely that, there’s nothing wrong with the friends I had before, but I’ve felt so much better and it’s just been so much healthier for me now I’ve also started pursuing and focusing on friendships with people around my age. It sounds weird to say, but despite having a good collection of close friends there was a part of me that was lonely, and that part has kinda stopped being so much now not all my friends are 10ish years older than me. 

That’s one thing I’ve discovered, but this year has been a big one for discovery for me. I tried a bunch of different papers and found out that I hate international relations and love philosophy. I’ve started learning Swedish!! And probably the biggest and most important discovery: thanks to my friends telling me “dude you really need to do this” I’ve gotten on anti-depressants!!! Which have really been helping me so much. That’s probably.... my biggest regret is that I didn’t get on them a few years ago. Still, I’m on them now and my head is just working so much better. Also, and I’ve talked about this in an earlier post so if you wanna kno deets you can go read it, I properly I guess remembered? stopped repressing? how a friend abused me a few years ago and started working thru the issues I have because of that.  

At this point I’m gonna put things under a cut coz this is where shit is gonna get long. 

Some letters, to the people I’ve known this year. I know a LOT of people so I’m prob gonna not mention anyone so if I don’t mention you: I love y’all. Ur so so fucking brilliant all of u and I’m honored to know you and to have had this chance to be in contact with y’all. I’m deeply sorry for any way I might have wronged you over this year, and if any of you wronged ME I forgive you entirely. If any of you haven’t really talked to me, but want to; or if we’ve drifted outta contact and you wanna pick things back up or ANYTHING at all feel free to msg me anytime. My discord is ardentlyThieving#4893 and this is an open invitation to anyone reading this coz there’s a ton of cool ppl on here who I haven’t talked to as much as I’d like. Anyways onto the individual stuff.

To the afternoon gang. You guys all mean so so fucking much to me, more than probably anyone else. Ur my best support network, my greatest pals. Being friends with you all is a fucking delight. I know I’m not always active in our server, but trust me that it’s nothing on you. I’ve enjoyed every moment hanging out with you guys. Or well, most of them at least :P. We have the wildest conversations and trust me, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know some of you guys have had a hard time this year and I’m so sorry that you guys are going thru that shit coz y’all deserve so much better. It’s my deepest hope that next year is a good one for all of you and if there’s every anything I can do you guys know where to find me. I love you so so so so so much and I hope these last few days of 2018 are as good for you as they can possibly be.

To the people of Eff’s servers. You guys are super duper cool. Being salty with y’all is so much fun and also so deeply annoying that people keep pulling this shit that we gotta be salty about. I love the fact that we can go from shitty meme posting (usually my fault) to having in depth n thoughtful conversations about just about anything (hopefully usually not my fault). Y’all are amazing people and it feels like you’ve all found urselves a bit more this year, which I’m so happy for you about.

To Sakshi. That’s right, u get an individual one. Ur like, my hero. Srsly dude the fact that ur so fucking patient with the utter dumbasses msging you and that u started this whole deep conversation that ur not backing down from? I’m so proud of you, I admire you so much, and you have my utmost support. Hmu if you ever need me to drag someone for you. Also i’m sorry to out you as a gamer to the fine people of tumblr dot com (actually I’m not that sorry) but it’s been so much fun playing swtor with you. And salt watching things with you. I love how fun our friendship is and also how we can have proper deep conversations like 10/10 A+ content. 

To Hammi. Dude you are awesomesauce. My fave lesbian pal. I love memeing with you and gaming with you and chatting with you. Here’s to another great year broski!

To Clare. We’ve only just met at the very end of this year and I’m so glad we did. Ur super cool and funny and I love ur art n posts.

To my swtor guild. Another group of wonderful people who I’ve only just met. i’m so fucking excited to get to know all of you better coz y’all have such great swtor opinions and are so much fun to play with. Sorry about what I did to the Gizka flagship bridge lmao.

To Sofa. DUDE HI! becoming friends with you this year has been one of the highlights. Thank you for all the support you’ve given me and for all the fun times we’ve had. I adore playing video games with you and I fucking love ur swtor ocs. You’ve been there for me so much, and I hope I’ve been there for you as well. Thank you for everything.

To Marie. Yet another person I met later on this year and haven’t had the chance to get so close with. Defo my bad there I need to msg you more often. Thanks for being there for me, even though I was kind of a shitty friend to you at one point. I didn’t deserve ur patience but you gave it to me anyway and I’m so fuckin grateful for that. I hope to make that up to you in the coming year. <3

To Jason. We were tight at the start of the year and kinda drifted apart which I regret. Msg me anytime dude and if you ever reinstall swtor you should totally hmu coz playing it with you was a ton of fun!! 

To Traya. I know we’ve only talked on and off this year, but I’m so excited for you to be at my university and to hang out in person!! Hang in there dude, coz there’s so many cool people for you to meet and take it from me that university really is so much better than college.

Ok this is where the happy positivity ends!! Again I love y’all so much and I hope that next year is better for all of you then this one was!!! Thanks for being pals with me, I appreciate it so much even when I’m not great at showing it.

Coz there’s one more letter I gotta write coz after however many years I want closure. This is where it ends.

To Teri. Wow. I never thought I’d be saying ur name again. Well typing, but w/e. That first year we were friends was so fucking good and I’m glad we had that, coz you were a pretty cool person. I dunno why you decided to change all that and start hurting me and I’m probably never gonna understand but you know what? That’s ok. I don’t need to. You hurt me, I got out. I’m not sure, but I think you were being hurt by people as well and I hope you got out like I did. No matter how badly you treated me you still don’t deserve to be abused urself. Nobody deserves that. I don’t know if I forgive you, and I don’t know if I ever will, but I hope things are better for you now. I’m sorry for the times I wronged you while we were friends. This isn’t me saying I deserved to be abused by you, because I sure as hell didn’t, but well. Two wrongs don’t make a right and ur abuse doesn’t magically erase the times I wasn’t the greatest friend. I thought ignoring the things you did to me would make things better, but instead I let it all fester inside me and change my behaviour without realizing that’s what happened. So this is me letting go of it all. Coz you don’t get to fuckin take anything else away from me. I’m better now than I was then despite everything you did to me. This is me, making a conscious choice to heal and move on and grow. It’s not gonna be easy, but imma do it and it’s gonna be so fucking wonderful. This is Arden signing out because you don’t GET to have any control over my life anymore. Never ever again.

[comphetforreal]

okay gonna do the WHOLE march tc challenge in one go lets go boys

R will be in red, M in blue and T in yellow, general stuff in purple

1 - if you could change one thing about your tc, physical or personality-wise, what would it be?

i wish R was kinder ngl, as much as i like to go ooooo hot sexy dominant man, hes kind of like an genuinely scary rude teacher sometimes, i wish he was just Kind Of Strict, he doesnt actually teach me but i hear if youre good and actually try in his class hes nice to you, the other day my actual crush/best friend (like My Age dw) asked him about isomers coz they want to take chemistry a level and he acc got excited and told them abt it :( /pos

I WISH M WAS MY FCUKING TEACHER, bit late now considering its year 11 and i am NOT doing chem a level, ugh hes just so nice i love him sm

with T ngl like i wish she was more considerate about trans stuff, okay so no like, shes not a bad person, just a few times she’s made comments that are, a bit uncomfy like she was like oh i dont get how someone can be a man and a woman which i get coz shes like 40 smth years old but lol </3 we ignoring

2 - are they "your type", or was falling for a person like them completely unexpected?

T is a milf so- /j

as in im not sure, i dont rlly have a Type, so idk for any of them tbh

3 - if they were an ice cream flavor, what would it be?

R - peanut butter ??? is that even a flavour idk

M - Vanilla.

T - salted caramel or like pineapple/mango

4 - imagine you have a whole weekend to spend with your tc. what would you guys do?

i like to fantasise about T like helping me with spanish and being rlly happy at my interest in the language and how good i am at it, but that sounds like a really sad way to spend your weekend,

hmmm, like if we could do anything? ngl it would be so nice just to sit and chat with her, maybe go to a cafe, go on a walk, smth cute like that

for R idk, honestly again just talking, a walk, going to a cafe, maybe going to a shop? just looking at stuff, just the simple things really

for M, im imagining going for a ride in his car, like windows down, the suns setting, music playing, wind blowing our hair about, and again, ik im boring but, just talking about anything and everything yk

5 - what's their biggest talent?

as in T is bilingual which i think is amazing but tbh she IS a spanish teacher, she is spanish but learnt english as her second language, she’s also rlly funny i love her :)))

6 - be honest: would you guys be a power couple or not?

me and T FUCK YEAH

me and M would just be like father and his awkward son we wouldn’t even BE a couple

me and R would be like old couple that argue all the time but at the same time hes very hot, idk i cannot imagine him as anything else than Hot Teacher Man

7 - if they knew about your feelings, would they confront you about it or ignore it?

since none of my feelings are romantic it isn’t as bad here, if T knew about my weird emotional attachment to her she would just be like aww then move on w her life tbh

M again might think it a bit weird i’m so attached to him since weve spoken ONCE but overall would just be like aww cool ig and move on

R would just be disturbed and confused as to why this random lesbian he’s never spoken to has decided he as a man is hot

8 - are they a good singer?

i have never heard any of them sing but i think T would be decent enough to like do some karaoke for fun or sing along to some songs

help i feel like M is kinda bad, yk when someone has one of those voices where you just Feel like they cannot sing

R’s voice is rlly deep so i think he’d be able to sing super low and it would be Sexy

9 - if you could choose an outfit that your tc had to wear every single day, what would it look like?

T has this one rlly nice dress that’s like a white shirt on the top and a long navy blue skirt, i think smth like that

M literally wears a white shirt with dark blue trousers and tie EVERY SINGLE DAY i guess id choose that, id want it to be what my tcs would be comfortable in

R would look rlly hot in a hoodie and jeans ngl, i think we in the tcc have agreed that teachers in casual clothes is somehow hot

10 - are they more academic, artistic, or athletic? what about you?

M is defo academic, on his linkedin that me and my friends found he was saying how he has such a love of learning and loves to know new things 😭😭 /pos

11 - do they inspire you as a person?

no bcos fr T inspires me to like, not be a spanish teacher, coz id rather die than be a teacher, but i’d love to be a tutor and help people with spanish, also as a person she is super funny and kind and it’d be so cool to be like her, and also i want to be fluent in spanish too, not necessarily bcos of her but she’s like a reminder to keep working at it

M kind of inspires me too, in the way that he has such a love of learning and genuinely loves teaching which is amazing and also he is a very kind person from what i know like he always helps students outside of class if they need, whenever the school does charity events he always donates and encourages us to as well if we can, and tbh he’s rlly polite like he always holds the door open for ppl and overall has such a nice approachable vibe, tbh i think i have never met a Man who is a genuine nice person before so i’m a bit in shock /hyp

12 - are they an early riser or a night owl?

OMGGG M once said he always gets up early and prefers to do stuff before work coz that’s when he works best

i dont acc know about R but he definitely SEEMS like a night owl

13 - have you ever made each other angry or upset? if so, how did you reconcile?

no actually, but ngl in my first lesson with R, it wasn’t an actual lesson, he was covering my english lesson for some reason ??? but he shouted at some younger years who had to come in to get smth and i nearly had a panic attack coz i was so scared of him !!!! 😁 /s

tbh i don’t think he was actually that scary but i was already upset and in a bad place mentally that day so i think him shouting rlly loud set me off coz like i was literally shaking and i was writing out my notes 😭😭

14 - do you ever find yourself imitating them, either consciously or unconsciously?

yes i imitate T so muchhh, the way she like gestures and stuff i always do

15 - what do you think their love language is? what's yours?

with T she definitely seems like a Quality Time kind of person

I think M is acts of service or quality time

R would be acts of service, tbh i don’t rlly know what mine is so 💀

16 - have they taught you anything that isn't school related? valuable life lessons, insights on how you feel about yourself, etc?

M has honestly just given me hope that not all cis men are horrible people /hj

17 - what would they have to do to make you lose feelings for them?

be like seriously bigoted, either that or relentlessly give me or my friends sanctions for nothing

18 - are they introverted or extroverted? what about you?

T is definitely extroverted

I think M seems extroverted but in reality is an introvert, either that or hes an ambivert, like yk in the middle

R is an introvert for sure

19 - who's more likely to start rambling about their interests while the other listens?

me. i talk so much. it is embarrassing.

not to my tcs but just in general 🙁

i feel like M would talk for ages tho like rambling about stuff

R maybe as well if it was like explaining smth to me

20 - do you feel guilty about having feelings for your tc?

with T not rlly, it’s just im a bit emotionally attached but don’t feel Bad

same w M really it’s just i think he’s rlly cool

with R i feel SO BAD that ive made this poor man, who’s never interacted with me in his life, my personal victim of my comphet 🙁🙁 ik i cant help my feelings rlly but still

21 - are you insecure about them liking another student more than you?

with T kinda yeah, like i wanna be her favourite ;-;

i kinda am already tbh but ygm?

22 - what kind of hairstyle would you love to see them in?

i like T in all hairstyles but i rlly love when she does half up half down or in a bun but also when her hair is down, tbh her hair looks so good all the time aaaaa shes so pretty

23 - do you think they trust you?

idk, as in, i think T trusts me in the way that, if she left the classroom i wouldnt cause havoc and misbehave, and she knows im not gonna cheat or slack off, and id only be like not trying if i was horribly depressed, but she wouldnt tell her half her life story ygm?

25 - have you ever drawn them or written about them to vent your feelings?

nah this is so embarrassing but this is Teacher Crush Tumblr so idc

// TW ED MENTION //

i have an ed and sometimes i imagine M and/or R having one too to help me feel better, or like them going through similar stuff to me in order to help me cope

26 - how do you feel when you're around them? are you so nervous that you can't concentrate, or do you just feel happy that you get to spend time with them?

with T im just happy coz shes super cool and nice

with R i am a bit terrified tbh but also sometimes i just wanna stare at him but am scared of being caught

with M ngl the few times ive been in a class w him i kinda wanna get his attention,,,, its the crave for male validation *sigh*

29 - have you ever tried to get over them?

tbh none of mine are proper romantic feelings so no <3

30 - if someone nice your age showed up in your life and you caught feelings for them, would you move on from your tc?

i have a crush. who is my age. xe has a girlfriend.

again none of mine are romantic feeling just weird attachment so

BTW I SKIPPED A FEW DAYS COZ LIKE THERE WAS NOTHING TO SAY ALSO I CBA <3333

[survivorsuriname]

Episode 9 - Stupid Alliance

Xenia

What a Tribal. Loved it. Jake had everyone wrapped around his little finger. No one was taking an initiative to talk since they would run to just one person, Jake, get the info and just follow his game play. Such people do not deserve their spot in the game. Jake did deserve his spot an could have easily won however he became too overconfident and complacent.He forgot that EVERY vote is important. The social game is exhausting but I feel it is more important that the Physical and AS important as the strategic. This was the biggest move so far and I planned it. Knowing the right time to strike is the biggest plus you can have this game.This vote was our ONLY chance to create a new voting block outside of Juliana coz had Emily gone as Jake had decided, Kenjie and I would be sitting at the bottom of the Juliana alliance. I asked Elizabeth last vote  who the vote was and she said " I need to talk to Jake about it" LMAAAOOOO! Who do you think we are taking out next? ;) Sean is the key vote for our new voting block. It only helps that Kenjie has an advantage and I have an idol. My aim for final 3 is Kenjie, Geri and me. The real game just started and right now I feel comfortable with my new voting block but never comfortable enough. I need to keep looking for idols and advantages. I am playing to WIN. Wish me luck :p <3

Kenjie

Haha everyone thinks its geri plan to vote jake. They dont know i planted all of that. The geris message about his idol they dont know i ask geri to send me that message so that u guys believe hi had a fake ifol. Lol and I forwarded it to all of you so that u all think geri is playing me. Lol

Its top 8 still im continue making jake and vi  believe that jake wants me out thats why i need to do what i need to do. But they dont know its all my plan to make take out jake.by the help of the fake message of geri. Lol

Blake

So i had a plan and I got beaten to the punch. Now Xenia still wants to keep Geri and I'm not sure what my next move is. My only hope is going to be pulling in a Sean/Me/Liz F3 somehow but honest to god I cannot see a way of that happening. Just gonna try and rebuild my relationships and do whatever. :P

Elizabeth

fuck. Jake was my closest ally in this game. Stupid alliance voting him out xD I mean it was a good move on their part but now I feel like me and Blake might get targetted next.

Blake

Everyone in this game is so fucking full of shit it's insane. They claim to be with me but leave me in the dark about everything. Xenia asks me whether I want Liz or Emily out, I tell her Emily, she tells me Liz is going anyway. What the fuck is the point in asking me? Everyone is lying, I don't give a fuck what people think, and I am not just going to be someone's bitch goat. Fuck Jake honestly for being a fucking liar too and walking around like his fucking shit doesn't stink. Fuck everyone in this game honestly. Done with everyone and their fake bullshit.

I got someone to be complacent. I have ONE shot to take majority back for myself. If it works, I am good. If it doesn't, I am next. That's better than sitting around doing nothing. LET'S FUCKING GO BITCH.

Kenjie

Top 8 i make this YING YANG idol to make geri scared of turning on me. Ying yang idol is an idol that i made up by my self. An idol that can be use when the votes are read. And when the owner of this idol is voted out or one of his allies hi can use it and save him self and put the votes that hi resive to other person hi wants out. I use this beffore and its very effective i hope this time it will give me another charm.

Top 8 tonight is the night i will know if geri is really believed in my fake YING YANG idol. I hope another plan will happen. By telling geri that hi is always a target and hi needs me and xinia. I cant believe blakey still telling everything to geri. But they dont know geri runs to me.

Vi

Man so much for playing normally. No more alliances, time to just randomly vote again. Kenjie is a bastard that over thinks things. I offer my loyalty on a silver plate and then he goes and burns it bc he thinks it's fake. Kinda like the salem witch trials. guess it's time to be the real witch and do some voodoo magic or smth. *sigh Blakey is a traitor also but that's okay. He knows aleks so I'll just protect him now. Man orgs suck when people are untrusting