#when you've been living with depression for over half of your life it's not hard to “tell” the signs

[moonchild-in-blue]

Oh, and I know I can tell I'm falling further again But I won't turn away It's far too late for me

(It's too late for me / It's too late)

I can't really put into words how much of an iron grip this song has on me. Especially that last part, where he repeats "It's too late for me" - I can't listen to it without tearing up and waiting to sing along from the top of of my lungs. It's one of those where I desperately wish I didn't relate to it, but in a weird, sick way, I'm glad I do.

It's SUCH a cathartic feeling to just put in on full volume and sing along. I just know Vessel must've had such a visceral moment recording this (all of their songs really, but yeah).

[livingformintyoongi]

hello author!!! been loving your work!!!

my request is : enemies to lovers yoongi / oc

They could be former classmates, always fighting for being the class #1. Been rivals through college, and now ended up working for the same company. They get teemed up for the same project and end up working late at the company building (they could be at yoongi's office) .yn and him start bikering about some dumb shit, tension builds up and they fuck on top of his work desk (bj, back shots?, doggy? fucking raw?)

thank you in advanceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Work night

a/n: Thank you for loving my works and for making the request 💕💕, I wrote this with the most depressing songs I could find from Taylor's ttpd album, I hope the effect was anything but depressing. I used the name of the oc I have for Yoongi because in the request it says it's Yoongi/oc, I hope you don't mind :( in any case it only says her name two or three times. warnings: doggystyle, back shot, unprotected sex, bj (m receiving), fucking raw, hair pulling, wc: 3.6k

"Move away" you whispered once your boss got out of the elevator. Noticing that Yoongi had no intention of moving from your side, you nudged him with your elbow.

"What's your problem?" he turned to look at you, rubbing his arm awkwardly. He didn't understand why you had just hit him so hard.

"What's your problem?" you said while stressing the "your", looking at Yoongi with a frown, "You have the whole elevator to stand on to wait for your floor, why are you sticking to my side?" you snorted, crossing your arms over your chest and trying to count to 10 so you wouldn't throw yourself on top of him and pull at his hair until you pulled out a large lock.  

"There were more people here, I had no choice" he rolled his eyes, setting his briefcase on the floor and shaking out his hair. He was aware that next to you there were always fights, but he figured that, if your boss gave this project to both of them, you would be considerably less. 

"There's the rub, Min, there were people here, there aren't any more, they left, so keep your distance," you looked at the red number above the door indicating which floor they were on. Only three more and they would finally arrive at Yoongi's office. You didn't know why it had to be his, but you preferred it that way, yours was a total mess.

"You are so annoying."

"Look who's talking" you pulled out your cell phone, not wanting to put up with Yoongi anymore. You checked your messages and calls, everything was empty, except for a message from your granny asking you not to skip any meals.

"What? Your boyfriend didn't text you "good luck at your job" this morning?" whispered Yoongi teasingly, looking at your cell phone out of the corner of his eye. He lightly squeezed his briefcase when he saw the name you had for your boyfriend.

"We broke up a few weeks ago" you stowed your cell phone in the back pocket of your pants, your gaze fixed on the elevator door. "Apparently his parents didn't like the idea of someone like me dating him."

"And he dumped you because of that?" he frowned slightly, staring at your profile. You looked more depressed than usual, but he was sure it was due to work stress, not some jerk you had to put up with for almost a year and a half, "How stupid, I can tell you have bad taste in everything."

"Excuse me?" you turned your head in his direction, frowning as you saw him flash you that cocky grin he gave you every time he wanted to annoy you

"Honey, that wouldn't happen to you if you had a more critical eye and dated real men."

"And what's a real man to you?" you raised your eyebrows, knowing he'd say something stupid that you'd then hang on to make his life miserable. That's how you've spent the last thirteen years living it.

"A real man wouldn't leave you waiting for his message for hours, he would remember that your birthday is November twenty-fifth, he would know that you love desserts and hate too bitter food, he would be aware that you love the color red and hate the color gray because it depresses you" with every word he gave he would get one step closer to you, and, with every step he took towards you, you backed away, "if he were a real man, he wouldn't give a shit what his parents said because he would love you enough to leave them and fight for you, because he would know that he would be worth it just to have a life by your side," you bumped into the elevator wall, shrinking in place the moment Yoongi rested his forearm on the side of your face. "Tell me, Chaeyoung, was he able to do any of all that?".

"Why did you get so close?" you swallowed saliva, staring into Yoongi's eyes. For some reason, you felt like you were incapable of looking at anything other than them. 

"Why are you avoiding my question?" he whispered in front of your face, close enough to almost brush your noses.

"I'm not-" the sound of the elevator doors opening threw you completely out of focus. You pushed Yoongi away and quickly stepped out, fixing your hair awkwardly, "Let's go to your office, I'm tired, I want to finish this quickly."

"Fine" he sighed in response, stepping out of the elevator and walking to his office. "Did you bring the papers?".

"Yes" you mumbled, walking behind him. Your gaze was fixed on his back, and you couldn't help but think about how he knew so many things about you. Yes, you had known each other for thirteen years, but you only spoke to each other to argue, there literally wasn't a conversation where one of you hadn't raised your voice to the other. 

"Okay, let's get this over with as soon as possible," he said as he opened the door to his office, waiting for you to enter.

You stared at your laptop screen for a few seconds, trying to clear your head without letting sleep take over. You had been working for more than ten hours, your head was starting to hurt and your stomach was twisting because of the hunger you felt. There were only a few details left to finish, so you thought it might be a good idea to take a coffee break.

You looked at Yoongi, who seemed to be too focused on reading the papers you had brought earlier to pay any attention to you. You brought your thumbnail to your mouth, biting it lightly. Would it be okay for you to go get a cup of coffee when he's still working on the project? 

"Stop biting your nail" he muttered with his eyes still fixed on the papers.

You rolled your eyes, getting up from the red velvet chair in his office and walking to the door. 

"Where are you going?" Yoongi's view rises just enough to see your back stop in front of the glass door that separated his office from the hallway.

"Do you mind?" you turn to see him, raising your eyebrows. The situation earlier had made you completely forget that the idiot standing in front of you was Min fucking Yoongi, the same one who made your life miserable in school, the same one who chose the same career as you, and the same one who had gotten a job at the same fucking company.

"Yes, I need to know where you're going because this is a job that belongs to both of us," he rose from his chair, both hands resting on his impeccably neat and clean desk. You hated that he kept everything in order, it reminded you of how disorganized you were in your daily life. "I'm not doing your part for free."

"And I don't need you to do it" you snorted, approaching him firmly. You were sick of his shitty behavior. "I will come back here and finish that fucking report without your help, do you understand?".

Yoongi was silent for a few seconds, rounding his desk and standing in front of you, "You're always so rude, shouldn't you watch your vocabulary at work?".

Your legs trembled slightly at having him stand in front of you, but you did your best to keep him from noticing. You took a couple more steps toward him, wanting him to feel just as intimidated as you had felt in the elevator. Your stomach did a flip as you remembered how close he had been to you.

"We're off the clock, so I don't have the need to mind my vocabulary" you whispered, keeping your gaze locked on Yoongi's. You weren't sure what you wanted to gain from this, but what you wanted to gain, you wanted. 

"Being off the clock allows you to treat your coworkers like this?" you noticed how his eyes lowered to stop on your lips.

You tried to ignore that, but it was tricky when you were so close to him, when you could smell his perfume, feel his breath crash against yours. You seriously tried to be strong and control your biological urges, but he wasn't helping.

"Shut the fuck up" you pressed your index finger into his chest with the intention of pushing him back. To your surprise, the instant your finger touched his chest, his hand grabbed your wrist hard enough to stop you without hurting you. 

"I was hoping you'd say that," he gave you the sexiest shit-eating grin you could have ever seen in your life, only to, seconds later, tug on your arm and kiss you.

You weren't sure what surprised you more, the fact that he kissed you, or the fact that you kissed him back almost instantly, clinging to his neck with your arms while he did the same with your waist. You'd like to say that you never imagined this would happen, that you never subconsciously (and consciously) dreamed about how Yoongi's lips would feel on yours, but if you said that you'd be lying to yourself, because, shit, the amount of times you'd dreamed about something like this were too many.

If your mouth wasn't too busy sucking on Yoongi's bottom lip, you'd probably ask him if the same thing had happened to him and that's why he was now kissing you like his life depended on it. It's not like you were going to complain anyway.

Yoongi's hands were quick to unbutton your shirt as his tongue enjoyed exploring and licking every corner of your mouth it could reach. You decided to focus on stroking and pulling his hair until he moaned from the burning in his head. You could become addicted to the hoarse sound of his moans.

"Shit, did you wear a lace bra to come to work?" he whispered against your lips, focusing his gaze on your breasts wrapped in red lace fabric. In fact, it was your favorite outfit.

"It's just that it was the only clean one" you followed his gaze, looking at your breasts, "my dryer went bad and it's difficult to get them dry in the middle of winter".

"Bless your dryer" he began to form a path of kisses starting at your jaw and ending at your shoulder. Your shirt by this point was already lying somewhere in the room, and it really wasn't something you cared too much about. 

You tilted your head to the side, closing your eyes and enjoying the sensations of Yoongi's wet kisses against your skin. His veiny hands soon stopped on your tits, giving gentle squeezes on the fabric. You shivered as you felt his cool fingers on your barely covered nipples.

"Is your mouth as good at sucking cock as it is at insulting me?" he whispered close to your ear, caressing the curve of your ass with one hand and your breasts with the other. 

"Just so you know, I'm pretty good at giving blowjobs" you said between gasps, pulling on his hair as you felt his teeth bury themselves on your skin.

A shiver ran down your back as you heard the sound of his belt clacking against the floor. 

"Don't say it, show it" he unzipped his pants, but without removing them completely. He slipped a hand inside his boxers so he could pull out his cock. You almost gagged at the sight of it.

You didn't expect it to be so big.

"What's that face?" he cocked his head slightly, trying to meet your gaze.

"It's the same face you've always seen" you muttered, grabbing your hair and forming a bun with your hands. It was bigger than you were used to, but that wasn't going to stop you from doing a good job. This was more for your pride than to satisfy him.

Yoongi never imagined he would end up having you kneeling in front of him, grabbing your hair so it wouldn't stick to your face, touching his cock with your fingertips, seeing it as if it was the first time you'd ever seen one. Yes, that sight was something Yoongi had only allowed himself to imagine since he first saw you, but to make that vision a reality thirteen years later? He wasn't sure what he had done to have this luck, but he was truly grateful.

"Well, at least now I understand why you were throwing so many flowers at yourself" you whispered, licking his cleft with the tip of your tongue. "Your cock is nice" you looked at Yoongi, running your hand up the length of his member, stopping at his head to draw circles over his cleft.

He wasn't sure what kind of response you wanted to those comments, he wouldn't have been able to respond to them anyway, at least not in this position. 

You left a trail of kisses from the head to the base of his cock only to return upward with a long lick. You smiled proudly as you heard him sigh heavily. It was only until you reached the tip of his member again that you decided to take him into your mouth.

Yoongi almost choked as he noticed that you got it all the way in in one go.

"Shit, Chaeyoung" he moaned, reaching down his hand to grab your hair between his fingers.

You hummed still with him inside your mouth, eliciting another hoarse moan from him. 

You tried to keep a slow pace, not because you couldn't do it faster, but because you seriously thought that's what he wanted. To you Yoongi was always a lazy person, someone who always seemed to move slow, so it made the most sense that he would be that way in sex too.

You knew you were wrong when his grip on your hair became firmer, leaving your head static as he took it upon himself to grind his hips against your mouth. 

"Fuck, you were right, your mouth feels so good," he said huskily, letting his head fall back, his hips grinding faster and harder against your face.

By this point it was impossible for your eyes not to release a tear or two and a trickle of saliva to escape your lips. This man was a brute, you thought to yourself. Somehow that turned you on even more.

Yoongi's brow furrowed as he felt your throat quiver at your soft moans. This felt so much better than any wet dream he'd had in the past with you. He couldn't help but look down to see how you looked sucking his cock. If he had had a camera handy he would have taken a picture of you. This was the first time he had ever seen you cry, and while it's likely that in another context he would have even felt sorry for you, right now all he could think about was how badly he wanted to ravage you like this every chance he got.

You raised your hands, clinging to Yoongi's hips as you closed your eyes and tried not to think about how deep he was thrusting into your mouth. You had to bury your fingernails in his pants when he thrust too hard. You would have a terrible pain in your jaw after that.

After giving you that lunge he let go of your hair and pulled his cock out of your mouth, allowing you to breathe easy. You brought your hand to your throat, rubbing it gently, it hurt a little, but it was totally worth it. 

"Come here" Yoongi said, lifting you up easily and leaning you against the desk. He caressed your still clothed hips, pausing for a few seconds to contemplate your back, the shape of your body, the line of your lingerie. He wanted to taste every nook and cranny. He was determined to taste every little bit of skin in front of him, even if it took weeks. "I like your back" he whispered, bringing his hand up to touch your lower back.

"Thank you" you murmured, turning your head so you could see him, "now would you, I don't know, shut your fucking mouth and do something with me? You owe me."

"You always ruin the moment" he rolled his eyes, unbuttoning your pants and pulling them down. He couldn't help but take your buttocks in his hands, squeezing them lightly. They looked good with the red lace over them. For a second he thought maybe red would be his new favorite color.

His fingers dug in between the lace, seeking your entrance. He almost moaned as he felt how wet you were. He always thought you'd be someone sensitive in bed, but he never thought you'd get like this just from giving him a blowjob.

"You're so wet" he whispered, collecting your juices with his fingers and slipping it back into your pussy. He smiled as he heard you squeal. "And so sensitive, are you sure you can handle my cock?".

He didn't wait for an answer from you, he simply placed the head of his member over your entrance, moving it up and down, barely opening your pussy, all with the intention of teasing you. 

You moaned helplessly as you noticed he had no intention of fucking you. To your luck that was quickly fixed. You held onto the table and, just as his cock brushed your entrance, you pushed your hips back. You had to bury your fingernails in your palms to keep from letting out a scream. You were aware that his cock wasn't even halfway in yet, but it still felt so big.

"Shit, you seriously are a desperate bitch" he growled under his breath, resting his hand on your lower back. He was already inside, what else could he do but fuck you?

 You screamed as Yoongi pushed his entire member inside you, causing your hips to crash against the desk and one of your heels to fall to the floor. Just as he did when you gave him the blowjob, Yoongi didn't go with games. He rested his chest against your back, hugging your waist so he could give himself momentum and make his lunges harder and deeper.

"Yoongi" you gasped, resting your forehead against the wood of his desk. This man had no mercy, and you were beginning to wonder if he was trying to get even for all the bad times you put him through in the past. 

He just hid his face in your neck, leaving wet kisses down your bare skin. His cock stirred slightly inside you as he heard his name leave your lips. He had waited for this moment for so many years.  

As if that were possible, his onslaught grew faster, hitting all the right spots to make you gasp and moan uncontrollably. Your whole body trembled as his cock hit your G-spot with too much force. This time you couldn't hold back the scream that wanted to escape your lips.  

"What was that?" he said in a mocking voice, hitting the same spot again, this time harder. He didn't expect you to tighten around him as he did so. "God, you're so tight, so wet."  

You let your weight fall onto the desk, closing your eyes and keeping your mouth open so you could moan freely. Little tears were leaking from your eyes from the intense pleasure you were feeling. Yoongi made you feel so full, he knew so well where to touch, at what pace to go. You loved how fast he learned to read you.  

"Stop pounding there" you said between moans, trying to keep the knot in your belly from loosening, not so soon at least. "I don't want to come yet."  

Yoongi left a mark near your shoulder, pushing your hair aside to get a better look at it. It felt so good to finally mark you as his. "It’s okay, babe, do it, we have plenty of time to indulge in a long sex session."  

The idea that the two of you would repeat tonight made you quite excited, much more excited than you'd like to say out loud. To your bad luck, your brain didn't seem to want to grasp that idea, leaving your body to show how much you had liked the idea, letting the knot in your center untie and you came on Yoongi's cock with a loud moan. 

Yoongi almost lost his mind watching you decompensate under him, but he was still aware enough of the situation to cum inside you. He quickly pulled out of your pussy, masturbating at the same pace he had kept while he had been fucking you, letting his release fall onto your back, sending shivers down your spine.   

You took a moment to regulate your breathing before you turned to look at Yoongi, "There better not be cum in my hair."  

"Stop whining" he whispered, bending down to your face level and leaving a soft kiss on your lips. "Better get up and get dressed, let's take the stuff to my place and finish the job there, so you can take the opportunity to clean your back well." He fixed his pants and grabbed your clothes from the floor, "In the drawer there are some tissues, give me one, I'll clean your back."  

"Ugh, it feels strange that you treat me decently" you laughed under your breath, fixing your underwear as you took the tissues he asked for.  

"You should get used to it" he pulled one out, gently running it down your back, trying not to get any trace of his seed on you.  

"I will" you smiled, closing your eyes at Yoongi's touch on your back, and almost melted as you felt his lips kiss your head.  

Yes, you were definitely willing to get used to this.

Materlist.

[kangaracha]

QUEENMAKER | CHAPTER 5

---

pairing chan x reader

genre ninth member au, enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,

summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.

Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

a/n apparently it has been 28 days since the last chapter, but the good news is i now have 4 chapters written in advance so january at least will have content. for those who haven't seen the random announcements on my blog, i've been sick and honestly probably will be again in january so your patience is appreciated, and i'm sorry, i'm not usually this sporadic with a project like this! to my editing team, who are feeling betrayed seeing this surprise chapter in their notifications, my chrissy new years gift to you is not asking for edits in the holiday season, roast me in the chat if anything is wrong (keeps, that last part doesn't apply to you)

previous | masterlist | next

---

Even as you knock on the door to the studio, you're nervous.

Maybe you shouldn't be; it's been nearly a month exactly now, and you're fairly sure at this point that none of the boys hate you, though calling some of them friends has been easier said than done. Maybe that's why you're nervous in the first place, because it's been so long and you're still unsure where you stand within the group, especially with the one you're supposed to meet now...

It's not your fault. Well, maybe it is a little bit - you're aware that you're struggling to relax in their company, the way you had with the girls in Midnight or other trainees. But your schedules are so different too, you only see the others in practise, or in passing in the halls. Some days you practise on your own, while they are off on one schedule or another, living the life of idols that have built up their name, other days only half of them are there. Sometimes there is no dance practise scheduled at all, their own individual lessons or other commitments taking precedence.

It won't be like this forever, you just keep telling yourself. Three weeks more, and then you debut with the rest of them, and you're part of the group for real. Three weeks of hard work, and then, maybe, it gets easier.

Maybe. You've thought that before, only for an opportunity to slip away through your fingers. You wouldn't be surprised if it happened again.

The door opens - Chan, leaning over from his chair to tug on the door handle before he returns to his desk. "Come in," he says warmly, an arm gesturing you towards the couch behind him. It's already occupied by Changbin, who makes you smile when he gives you a hello and a wave. "Sit with me," he says, in Korean and then again in broken English, patting the cushions. "I'll be quiet, I promise."

You're reminded suddenly of how loud he can be, during practises or even when everyone is just sitting around, but you hesitate to mention it, sitting quietly beside him instead. "You can tell him to leave if you want," Chan adds, his back turning to his laptop. "He's not actually here for anything important."

"I'm here for emotional support," Changbin claims, only he puts on such a voice as he says it that it makes both of you laugh. "It's an important job."

"Okay, well." Chan's hands spread, like he doesn't have any say in the situation. "If you don't need support, you can tell him to leave."

"He can stay," you answer readily, and you don't really doubt your answer at all. Out of all the members, Changbin has been one of the friendliest; he'd been so warm and accepting on your first day, and gone out of his way in days since to talk to you or pull you into a joke when you were on the outskirts watching. Even if he was only doing it because you looked pathetically out of place among them, you appreciated it. 

"Cool," Chan says, and then he shifts in his chair like he's uncomfortable, his eyes straying towards his laptop momentarily. "So. I wanted to talk to you about the comeback."

"I figured as much," you reply, aware that your hands are fidgeting nervously in your lap.

Chan's mouth opens, like he's going to say something, and then he hesitates, glancing away again. Apprehension rises in your throat, bitter like the taste of bad coffee as you swallow it back down again. It's one thing if you're nervous - but if he is unsure about what he's about to say too, then it could be-

"I've thought about it, and I've decided that you're not going to debut with us on this album."

Bad.

Your heart stops and then starts again, your chest tightening around your lungs even though you've heard this story before. It shouldn't even surprise you by now, the let-down; thinking you might have now, finally, done the work and reaped the reward, and yet every time you seem to let the hope creep into your chest just so that you can crumble twice as hard. You hadn't even realised you'd become this married to the idea of joining Stray Kids in the last three weeks, and yet the idea of getting dropped again hurts like a pain in your chest.

This was your last chance. No one else will debut you. The world isn't that kind of kind.

"Okay," you say, through a jaw that feels like it won't move enough to form the words. "It's - I understand. I'm sorry that I couldn't do it."

"Hang on," Chan says, a hand hovering between you like he's ready to catch you if you turn to leave. "Just hear me out - it's not that you're not good enough, okay? I just think it will help you if we wait a little bit longer, and the company were happy to agree."

"You've worked hard," Changbin says beside you, his face earnest. "No one thinks you can't do it."

"No," Chan agrees. "I'm just looking at the timeline, and the schedule they've drawn up for you, and I think you'd do much better if we push debut back to our next comeback in September."

September. Three more months away, rather than three weeks; three more months to push through, nose to the grindstone, that deadline looming over your head. Three more months in which someone might realise they've made a grave mistake and pull you right back out again, when you'd been so close to that finish line. Three more months feeling like an imposter in these boys' lives, waiting for life to even out into some kind of normal.

"Is that okay?" Chan asks, and you bite down the spiral of thoughts that pulls your mind down towards a big, black hole and nod, trying to pretend that it's nothing. The frown on his face doesn't look convinced, nor does the sheet of paper that he reaches behind him to fetch, shoving it into your hands.

"I want you to understand," he says as you look down at the paper, forcing your fingers to only hold it gently before you can rip it. A schedule, the next three weeks of your life laid out in a neat little chart that is detailed down to the minute and overflowing with things to do. "This is the choice they've given us; either we push you through this schedule and extra dance practise and debut in three weeks, or we wait sixteen weeks, and you do all of these things with the rest of us in a reasonable timeframe. I've been looking at it all week, and...I think it's too much. Waiting gives us a song prepared for nine members, takes the pressure off of the managers, gives you time to get to know everyone..."

You're forced to swallow the lump in your throat as you read the schedule and realise that Chan is right; the next week is full of photoshoots and content creation, with no room left for the dance practise you know you need to keep up with. It's rushed, and it's daunting, and at first look you're not really sure at all how you would handle everything. It's the life you've been training for for years now, and yet so many of the things on this list you feel like you haven't trained for at all.

"You're right," you admit, around a tongue that sits too heavy in your mouth. "I don't know why they thought this would work in the first place, when I'm so-"

"Someone high up had a great idea, and wanted it seen through as fast as possible," Chan says before you can finish. "Stray Kids haven't had a really...successful year. Maybe they were thinking of dropping us unless something changed, maybe they just really liked you. They've already agreed to push your debut back to September anyway, so it's not something we need to worry about now."

"As long as they still think it's a good idea in September," you say, and you manage to keep your tone light even though it doesn't sound much like a joke to you at all.

Changbin is the one to speak up, his hand slapping the arm of the couch. "They can't mess with us like that," he declares in the kind of voice that says he has complete confidence in what he says. "You want to be in Stray Kids, you're in Stray Kids, and you're not leaving."

"Exactly," Chan says warmly, and you manage to muster up a smile even though that tension still squeezes tight in your chest at the thought of another three months of limbo, not knowing if you'll stay or if you'll go. "Now," he says, turning back to his laptop, "I have better news; I've got a part for you in God's Menu that I want to hear, and I can play the next title track for you..."

TAGLIST

@kokinu09 @rainfallingfromthesky @lixie-phoria @mysweethannie @chlodavids @hanniemylovelyquokka @tfshouldidohere @lauraliisa @puppysmileseungmin @kalopsian-thoughts @puppy-minnie @readerofallthingss @dvbkie099 @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @acker-night @d-chagi @lynlyndoll @borahae-reads @ihrtlix @yienmarkk @minhwa @i2innie @jinnie-ret @conwunder @amesification @starssongs98

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

°𝄞 𝐒𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 °𝄞

☆ 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙾𝚗𝚎 ☆

"March 21 1986"

♬♪ 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 ♬♪

ᯓ★ next chapter ★ᯓ

✶࿐ Summary : your heart was heavy and you just wanted to disappear in the world, you stumbled a peculiar old record store and jumped back into 1986

✶࿐ Word Count : help, I'm making a new series again lol

✶࿐ Warnings : 18+ Eddie Munson x Future!FEM!reader, cursing, use of y/n, time travel, comedy, sci-fic, drama, slight family arguments, slight toxic!household, invalidating mental health, slight misogyny, slight physical abuse, I added a character named "Veronica", reader and Eddie are both (20), reader is very defensive when it comes to Hawkins history, a description of reader wearing "Nirvana" long sleeve, ripped jeans, black classic converse, no mention of reader's race/eye color/hair color, reader lives in 2024, that's about it!

✶࿐ What to Expect : it's all the same characters from "Stranger Things" but I wrote them as if they "exist" in real life, I made them as if they were "historical heroes" in Hawkins!

✶࿐ Note To Reader : this is inspired from my tv shows that I loved, I'll be just getting some of the ideas but I promise this will be good and original! very fast paced and hopefully my writing has some improvements! 💗

✶࿐ Author Note : I just hope that you'll love this another world that I created! I've been wanting to do this for so long, please, don't forget to support me! your simple likes, reblogs and comments will always be highly appreciated! 🥺🫶🏻✨

𓆩♱𓆪 𝙚𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𓆩♱𓆪

❦ 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙖'𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙥𝙖𝙜𝙚 ❦

"Y/N, get up"

"But, I don't want to-"

"I said- get up now" your mom's voice is firm as she sighs as she walks out of your room

You groaned on the other side of your bed as you tried to shut your eyes but it seems like you're not so sleepy anymore, so, you begrudgingly sit up from your bed

"Your father is waiting downstairs, I prepared breakfast" she says when she passed by your doorframe again

You scoff at that as you tied your hair back and you stand up and went into the bathroom to wash your face

You don't want to eat with him, all he ever does is to spoil everything with his hot tempered behavior

Eating with your family was fun sometimes but you just can't ignore your dad's attitude

You love him but also the same time you hate him

It's so mentally draining that you wanted him to change, you always rooted for him to change but he never does and it drives you mad that you and you mom has to endure

You saw him as you went down by the stairs, he's now scarfing down eggs and bacon

You manage to restrain an eye roll to his presence as you headed towards at the kitchen to grab a glass and pour yourself a water

"It's a miracle that you get outside of your room" he says as he takes a sip of his coffee

Your mom clocked you and gave you a look that says "don't make a scene" , you squeezed your eyes shut as you take a deep breath and you drink your glass of water

It's literally 7am in the goddamn morning

You decided not to join him over at the table as you prepared your plate with the food that your mom make and you grab your mug for your coffee

You overheard the conversation of your mom and dad as you stirred your coffee the fact that it's still a bit hot but it didn't let you stop by drinking the half of it as you chew down aggressively on eggs and bacon

"She's having a hard time, go easy on her"

"Does she have depression? If she does that's bullshit"

Your ears are ringing and the voices from your parents are blurred out from the feeling that you're having, you're heavily breathing

You take the empty mug and plate as you let it clatter on the sink making their attention snap at you

You looked over to them and your dad as fucking as always looks at you like you've done something wrong

It's always been like that, everytime you tried your best, everytime you won a trophy or had an achievement, it is never enough for him

It is ironic that he's complaining about your condition when he's the cause of it, that's why you have this

You hate that he's always comparing you to other students saying that you're not smart and pretty enough

And your mom was always the one who never fails to make you smile most of the time

What the fuck happened? Back then when you're a kid, you like your father until you realized that's why when in family reunions you always caught those looks like "oh, god, he is going to ruin the party"

Yeah, he's maybe caring and do all of the stuff that a father needs to do, he filled his shoes with that

You just despise his generational trauma qualities

All you wanted was a understanding father, if he only just be like your mom it would be so great

"You're the one who is bullshit" you say as your mom winced and releases a deep sigh as she holds your dad's shoulders

"What a disrespectful child! You have no right to talk to me like that!" He shouts out loud as you went to the stairs to your room as you slam your door

You're still panting as you swallow the lump in your throat as you walk through your closet taking out your "Nirvana" long sleeve, denim ripped jeans and socks for your black converse

You tried to avoid the thoughts running through your head as you still heard the muffled sounds from the voices of your parents downstairs

You take a shower as you let the warm water hits your skin as you open the cap from your shampoo as you massage it through your scalp this somehow soothes you

You pour the body wash on your loofah as you scrubbed your entire body

You wrapped a towel on your hair and your body as you brushed your teeth and mouthwashed

You placed your palms on each side of your sink as you turn off the faucet as you look yourself on the mirror

You know you're not proud of what you're going through, you can't even feel anything, you can't do anything to cheer you up, nothing else makes you feel any better

That's why you always try to distract yourself like lathering a lotion to your body, putting on some minimal makeup and spritz a perfume on your pulse points

You still feel....horrible

You feel like the worst daughter on earth

You put all of your stuff inside of your knapsack as you put it over your shoulder

You click your tongue that you almost forgot your charger for your phone and powerbank as you finally take the leave out of your room

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You carefully took down the steps as you looked around at the place for your dad

It's just his voice that make your bones jitter

"He left" your mom spoke beside you as she hangs her head slightly low

You saw the red patch on your mom's arm that it looks swollen as she dismissively wave her hand in front of you

Your jaw clenched as she hugs you and place a kiss on your cheek, you sigh in defeat, you know for sure she doesn't want to talk about it

"I'll see you later, Mom" you gave her a small smile as she nods

You looked over at your smart watch and it says 8:30am, you're going to be late because class starts at 9am as you huff in annoyance

You start walking as you begin to fish inside of your pockets and take out your wired earphones as you plug it in your phone

*Mike + The Mechanics - The Living Years starts playing*

You associate this song with your dad, if he only took down his pride and start willingly without judgement ask you about how you feel, you would do it in a heartbeat

A car slowly following you as you heard the non-stop beeping, you take off one of your earphones as you turn around

"Hey! Why are you walking? Hop in!" Veronica shouts as she lifts herself to talk over the car window

You chuckle as you shake your head as you jog over at the passenger's seat

Right, you forgot she'll come over and give you a lift to school

Her smile fades when she sees your lost expression on your eyes as you forced a smile on her

"I'm here" she says and you got taken aback from her side hug as she pats your back

You smile fondly as you pulled back, "Come on, Vee, we're going to be late for class!"

"Can I just hug my bestfriend for a minute?"

You chuckle, "I appreciate it, now, step on it!" you point at her as she laughs

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"I don't blame Jason Carver for reacting that way, if I were him on his position, I would've done the same"

You scoff at that, this debate in your history class is taking forever, Veronica can feel your patient is hitting on its limit

"It's 2024 and Hawkins is still a shitshow"

"Goddamn right"

"Oh- what was that Y/N L/N? care for you to join us?" One of the students called you out as you can feel your eyes are going to stuck behind due to over rolling your eyes too much

You mock him a smile, "Yes, I do think I have something to share" as you stand up and went in front

"Oh shit" Veronica smirks as you slightly hit her shoulder

"You know it is never right to kill someone who is innocent"

"Well, how do you know Eddie Munson is innocent? Were you there? You don't know what is like finding out about your girlfriend killed in a freaky way"

"For starters, Jason didn't have any proof, he doesn't have evidence that Eddie Munson did this"

"Have you completely forgotten that his girlfriend was found on his trailer?"

"No, I didn't, just because it happened there doesn't mean he was the one who did it"

"Jason still remains the only right-"

"I won't support a madman who is willingly to kill someone who is innocent and always claiming that Eddie was the main suspect without proper evidence, Jason showed every disturbing behavior towards the people of Hawkins, many people admitted that he brainwashed and twisted every word that happened while looking for Eddie, he turned everyone against him who obviously wasn't supposed to be the one being pressed on and also let's not forget the fact that he punched Lucas Sinclair almost bludgeoning killing him and what for? Why would he do that to Lucas? Was he desperate? Is he frustrated for not having the chance to punch Eddie in the face like he always desired to do, so, instead he poured his anger everything to Lucas? and he wasn't even Eddie, Eddie was the one he was looking for right? Why hitting him the face to a pulp? that just goes to show that he is in fact the one who is dangerous, You missed out that his sister, Erica Sinclair spoken about it publicly on a TV program back in 2001 interviewing him about how his brother almost died because of Jason Carver."

Before your debater speak again, you didn't let it this time

"Have you completely forgotten, the massive earthquake that happened back in 1986? that's where the locals find out that Eddie wasn't the one who is doing those curses all along"

You looked around over your classmates and you saw one of them nodding along to your words

"Henderson, Dustin Henderson, he published a book in 1994 writing about his interaction with his dear friend Eddie Munson and he still keeps saying the same thing until now that he will always be innocent"

"Are you saying that Jason Carver is a villain?"

"No, he is just blinded by the wrong belief's and he needs a guidance for anything else"

Your teacher applauded you and the rest of class did too, your debater slumped both of his shoulders

"A+ for you, Miss Y/N" she smiles at you

"Thanks a lot, freak" he hits your shoulder aggressively making you wince at it as you shook your head sideways

"So much for not accepting losses, does he know sport?" You throw your hands up

The bell rings as it now time for lunch and everyone is leaving out of the room as you watch your bestfriend, Veronica, coming at you and hooking a hand around your forearm

"It's a delight to see him butthurt because he was defeated by a woman and he can't accept it because he has LDS"

"What's LDS?"

"Little Dick Syndrome"

You bursted out laughing as it echoes in the hallway, both of you didn't care as you went inside of the cafeteria

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Veronica dropped you off in your house after school

You stand in front of your house as you caught the screen door hitting back and forth as if someone break in, you immediately went alerted mode

Once you carefully walked inside, you saw every furniture is broken and every picture is torn into shreds as you looked for your mom, the moment she's in your sight, you kneel down and took off the bag from your shoulder

"Why are you here?" She's still shaking as you placed your palms over your her shoulders

"What-" you knitted your brows together as you went confused about her remark

"Why are you like this?" She saids when she ripped out from your hold as she stands up

"Mom- are you okay-" you stood up as you went to follow her

"I'm trying to fix this family and why do you always have to spoil it?"

You know what happened while you're away, they both had another heated argument

"I know- you're upset, mom-" you sigh as you picked up your bag

"Why are you like this?" She glares at you and you perplexed why she's blaming this on you

"Excuse me?" You tilt your head

"Why the fuck are you like this?" She gave you an outburst, you didn't have to let this thing get into you but you can't help since you're only a human being

You can't help to have feelings, so, you went defensive

"Mom, I didn't ask for to be like this-" you tried to steady your voice but it cracked the time your eyes went glossy

"Why don't you just suck it up!" She yelled those words as you flinched by the tone of her voice

Your eyes widen but then again it fades when there's a darker cloud is going over to your head overthinking

Your mom had a bad day and you know it's not your fault but you just had enough of it

"You want me to disappear, then so be it" you voice is stern as you turn you back and walk away

You forgot to look back at your mother's eyes, it flickered with regret as it welled up in tears when she realizes what she has done

She didn't had the chance to keep up to you when you're already running miles away

"Oh no- wait- please! Y/N!" Your mom called out to you but you kept running and running

You put your palms over your knees as you pant and step aside from the road

You started walking as you hang your head low

Your try not to think about it, you hate your family, you hate this town and the people in it

"God- I hate this place" you murmured as you kick the tiny pebbles on the ground

When you reached at the abandoned Starcourt Mall, you've never talked or spoken about to anyone else that you feel like you're been there before but you can't place it

Your brows are pulled together as you try to understand it, you also have these weird dreams that keep flashing whenever you're in a deep sleep

Was that a dream? Or is it a memory?

It feels so real, you glanced over the chain leather bracelet on your wrist

You can't recall when did you get that or you didn't even know if you bought it for yourself

It just so happens that it's there

You can't even explain how you got the same cap that Dustin wore, but for some reason, you hide it your closet

Also the faint scars on your neck, it's not gnarly but when you look closer there's something in there

Sometimes, you don't even feel like this world that you woke up to isn't real, it's like you're walking inside of a made up world or a like projector

You started to walk slowly when you only can recollect of the memories that you had with your "family"

But what about the questionable stuff that you have on you?

You might be sounded delusional but why did you have things from the heroes of Hawkins?

You looked over to your right and saw their monumental statue filled with their names on the bottom

"The Fearless Hawkins Indiana Heroes"

You don't know why but you always lingered your stare at a one specific person's name that is engraved on the marbled stone

Why does it feel like you knew him? not only knew him but you feel like you've been with him and it grows something bigger and much more deeper

But then again, you get a hold of yourself because if he's still alive today he would've been 60+ years old by now

This was supposed to make you feel even more sad if you walked around these monuments of them but you feel comfortable and close to them

This place was your sanctuary whenever you feel you don't like to get home early

There's a group photo that is displayed in the front center

You step forward as you tried to inspect the picture

Your eyes goes big as you can recognize the person beside.....Eddie? The Eddie Munson?

You can't see your face clearer that much because you're hiding from the camera and someone definitely captured your photo together all of the sudden

It's the same shirt and jeans that you're wearing right now

"No- that's impossible" you feel boneless and your cheeks lost its color as you try to blink more than once

You might think your mind is just playing with you but it doesn't even goes away

You're still in the picture, it doesn't have to be creepy but you feel alarmed by all of this

This is all becoming too much for you to let it all sink in

So, you left the historical place as you walked faster and faster

You ignore that you crossed the abandoned Family Video

You halt your tracks when you pass by a building that you never seen before

You move your head side to side as you swallow the bile in your throat as you walked closer to it

You don't know why but something else is pulling you inside and to your senses, it feels safe for some reason?

From all of the buildings that you went to, this looks new and it's looked nice inside

It's a record store, it's filled with vinyls, tapes, CD's

You got jumped by the presence of a older man but he looks familiar to you the moment he appeared in the front desk

You will never ever understand why that he looked at you like that

He got this knowing look in his eyes, this was supposed to make you feel weird, you can just turn your heel and walk away but you didn't

"I believe you will like this one"

He slides a "Journey - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)" tape in front of you

Now, this is even got more odd to you, is that even a coincidence that he knew your favorite song?

"I'm sorry- wait- how did you"

"Oh shoot, I forgot to wear my name tag"

There he goes in the backroom as you frustratedly sigh

This is a very a bad idea but a stranger? gave you a tape?

But, you still took it nonetheless as you looked for your vintage walkman as you placed the tape inside

You put on the headset and the moment you start to press play

Your hands begin to swirled in the air, you panicked as it goes everywhere

There's like a lazer boom sound and it all happens too fast and now you're standing in the same place but you're in the middle of the woods as the peculiar building is now long gone and from what you know

The morning has already passed and from where you were earlier is already noon

You stopped the tape as you remove the headset and put it all to your bag as you try to walk around the area

"That....was....very....trippy" you said as you try to brush it off what just happened

The time you stepped in the road, you saw a lot of retro cars and you didn't even noticed the people inside of it, of what they look like but the moment all you can see is from the 1980's cars on the road you started to feel strange

You shake your head and you made up your mind that you're only just hungry that's why you're seeing things as you headed to home but then you remember that you had a homework for English class and you forgot to bring home your book, so, you groaned in annoyance as you walked to school

When you reached your destination, you gasped

Why does everyone looked like from those pictures you saw in your school library?

When you looked some of the students, you've been getting these eccentric looks from them, it's not offending, they don't even looked disgusted

It's just that it looks like you're in....No- no- no- absolutely not we're not going down there

You've noticed they tried to read what's in your shirt and you try to stealth your moves as you walked forward

Oh my god, it gets even more bizarre when you stepped inside

This doesn't looked like your school, you know that your school got renovated so there's a lot of changes in it

You're so crazy for thinking like this, you're crazy for asking it

"Um- I'm sorry, can I ask what date and year is it?" You asked one of the students in the locker

"Oh, sure, no problem, it's March 21 1986"

You need to restrain the shock from your face from what she just said "March 21 1986?" You say it again

"Yes, that's right! Wait- I'm gonna get to class now, bye!" She saids as she picked up her stuff from the locker and jogs away

"Oh my god.....oh my god- I'm in the past?" You whisper-shout as you try to calm down

You're so bamboozled as you looked at the tape again, now, you know why you're here

It's because of the tape that you played not an hour ago

You pinch yourself, you try to slap your cheek but no to avail, you're not dreaming

This is real and you're here

How will you ever get the fuck out of here?

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"I'll talk to you later, okay?" He ruffles his hair as the boy winces from his action, no way, that's Mike Wheeler

You're still walking around inside trying to figure how to escape this and then you heard his voice

You try to find him until your eyes landed on him

Jesus Christ, the few pictures that you saw from him in the books don't even do justice

He looks even better in person, he looks so handsome, you admiring Edward Munson from afar

You rolled your eyes to yourself when you find yourself harboring a crush over some dead guy, not even just some dead guy

He's a hero, if only the Hawkins knew what he is like

He has always been described in the real authentic books that you read that he is kind, gentle, playful, full of wonder, very caring to those people who is exactly like him, an outcast

Now, you're seeing it for yourself right between your very eyes, it feels so different in person, you always had been so defensive when it comes to his personal life, out of all the history in Hawkins, he's the only one that you ever truly cared for as if you knew him in real life, you've never even met him until now whatever this is, even if it's real or not, you're so honored to come by this close to him you became even more empathetic to him when you saw how he truly behaves while he was still alive

Your smile slowly drops when you realized that he doesn't even know, no one else in the group knows what will happen to him

All of the nasty things that people talked about him in the past and even in the future

You will never forget when in 2022, you saw the news that they lifted the case that he was truthfully innocent

When they should've done it years ago

Is this the reason why you're in here? To help them? To help him?

The bell rings that made you snap out of your thoughts and everyone is walking towards to the cafeteria as you follow suit

Oh shit, are you witnessing the moment of history that just happened here?

You shudder when you saw Jason Carver, god- his great grandson looks like just like him and acts like him too, you try not to barf thinking about it, his stupid descendants still spreading lies until now, you can't believe they have the privilege to do that

Enough of about the Carvers, holy shit- he got a fat ass point on his speech as you watch him strut his way in the table

You know D&D, but you never played it, now, seeing it unfold, god- he is so serious about it

Dustin was right, it is a sadistic campaign

The fact that you take a step back because you know damn well they wouldn't believe you if you told them what will happen to Eddie later

But, there's a force that is pulling you here and whatever you try to hesitate, you will still go for it

Especially you can't even stand by it for your conscience even though is already written in the books

What is done, is done, what happened, happened

Can you somehow change the past? Can you undo the events that happened back then?

will Hawkins, can be peaceful when you manage to remove the curse in the town?

You will have to wait until....He'll met Chrissy

Oh shit, right, he's going to sell K to the Queen of Hawkins High

But, first, you'll have to know her favorite song, so, you can save her and Eddie won't be a wanted man

If only it was easy to plan it, you know they can't just believe you, but you will try

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You saw Chrissy in the woods, acting all horror-struck as she looked everywhere and when you follow her gazes, you see nothing else that you can see that is terrifying, you ran up to her

When she almost tripped herself as she goes backwards, she bumped into you as she shrieked

Instead, you're the one who got bumped behind your back to Eddie

"Woah, woah, hey- I'm sorry- I didn't mean to scare you" he smiles all dimples are shown but confusion is etched immediately to his features when he looked at you

"You okay?" He looked over to your shoulder as he asks Chrissy

She didn't respond, she's still looking at the tree with fearful eyes

Eddie looked where she is looking as he gotten more confused

You hold both of her shoulders to swing her around to face you

"Hi, sorry, I know you don't know me but you gotta believe me, I know what frightens you"

She squints her eyes a little bit but the terror is still present as she looked at Eddie who is puzzled

"I don't know what you're talking about-"

"I know why you wanted to buy drugs to Eddie"

He moved beside you as he tries to understand the situation, he wanted to cut off the scenario but something tells him that you're saying the truth

"What-"

"I know you seeing things, Chrissy"

She's trembling under your touch as her eyes starts forming tears on her waterline

"I-I don't-"

"You saw the grandfather clock"

Her eyes widen when you knew what she saw

"How did you-"

"You heard chimed 3 times"

"You're scaring her, now, back off" He clicked his tongue as he gestures you move away

You sigh in defeat as you follow to what he just said as Eddie pulls Chrissy behind his back

Chrissy who is now stunned at how accurate the things that you just said

He roams his eyes at you from top to bottom, and he got curious at the picture that looked like a band from your long sleeve

"Who are you, anyway?" He asks you as he crosses both of his arms

"That's not for you to know" my god- his eyes are so pretty, what the fuck- okay, Y/N focus!

You tried to get close to Chrissy who has this hopeful eyes at you

"Chrissy, let me help you-" you walked closer but Eddie blocks your way

"Hey, I told you to back off!" He gave you a pointed look

"I'm trying to save her life!" You exclaimed, you missed the way Chrissy has become shaken

"What?" He shakes his head in confusion

Chrissy blinks rapidly as she's the one who went in front of Eddie

You stare at her, watching her intently as you see her nod slowly, meaning that she wants you to elaborate

"I know exactly who is the person behind calling your name out of nowhere, other people can't see it when you're in a trance, but I know it is real, he got you cursed because he likes to target people who are traumatized by their life events" you explained as you pause taking deep breaths

You continue "You buy drugs to Eddie just so you can be distracted from all of the things that you're seeing, when you ran out, that's where it all comes back again"

"Who is he?" Eddie scratches the back of his neck

"Vecna" you plainly said

"I'm sorry, but how can you be so sure that she is for real?!?" Eddie chuckles lightly as he looked down to Chrissy

There is only one way to find out that you're actually saying the truth

"Do you know what he looked like?" Chrissy softly speaks as she swallowed tightly

"I can't describe the perfect word for him but he's tall, has a lot of vines going over his neck, he has powers just by using his hand he can control over you like a snap, he looked like a.....monster"

"What a fucking shit show, are you buying-" he stopped when he heard the faint sniffles and the sharp gasp that she just let out

"She's telling the truth, Eddie" She gulped as she looked up to him and she went frantic when she glanced at you

"Okaaaaaay, I don't know what the hell is going on and from what I know I was only to meet Chrissy here not you, you just spawned out of nowhere and your clothes-" Eddie starts to ramble as he wipes his face with his palm

"Wait- no, don't go- Chrissy!" You tried to chase her but it was too late, she is gone from your vision

"If I were her, I would do the same thing"

"Like what-"

"Running away from you"

You scoff, "Eddie, I am trying to save a life here and you too"

He dramatically taken aback as he mocks a gasp, "What about me?"

God, he can be such a cute nerd dork but he's also a pain in the ass

"You don't believe me right? Let's just say after your D&D campaign later will be successful with your Hellfire Club and the sub that you demanded to Dustin and Mike will be Erica Sinclair because Lucas can't be there because of the laundry baskets game" you gesture to his shirt he tries to speak but you beat him to it as you continue, "when you go home, Chrissy will be there with you because she wanted something more stronger than you just offered but since I came here first to warn her, the deal didn't happen, so, I guess this will be the only time for you to be free to walk around"

"Free? From who?"

"From the police" you walk away with that and you didn't even bother to wait for his reply

"that's such bullshit, I didn't even know her name" he shooked his head as he left the woods

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Eddie wanted to drop the scenario that happened with you earlier

But, his mind won't shut up if you're right all along

You we're right that Erica is the sub

The campaign went well, too well

"Hey, Henderson" he gathered all of his stuff back on his bag

"Yeah?" Dustin replies as he helps Eddie to clean up

"I met up with Chrissy earlier in the woods but someone else is there"

"Shit, was it Jason?"

"No- not him, it's another girl but-"

"But?"

"She's different, she acts different and even her clothes are out of the ordinary"

"So, what if she's so different?"

"Dustin, she spoke something about Chrissy that I can't understand like the grandfather clock and some kind of a hideous monster putting curses in all of kids in Hawkins"

That's where the boy began to straighten himself up as he looked at Eddie this time who is still perplexed

"And then what else did she say?"

"See, here's the funny thing, I don't believe that much into predictions but she already knew about what happened here"

"Oh?"

"She knew about Erica, she knew that our campaign will be fine"

"Does this girl, have a name?"

"Nah, I didn't get the chance to ask her because it all happened too fast-"

He stops abruptly as he carries his bag as Dustin placed the boxes on the shelf, "One thing that made me feel eerie is that she told me that I only have a few hours left that I was free from the police"

"What?" Dustin looked at him in confusion as he thinks Eddie's words carefully, but why does it feel there's a knowing pounding in his heart that he might know what this is all about

The secret that his metalhead friend that he didn't know about Hawkins

"Yeah, I know, it's weird" Eddie just shrugs

"Maybe, it's all just a coincidence"

"How will it be just a coincidence when she told me everything all at once without her stuttering"

"I think she's just messin' with you" he gets on with his bike as Dustin doesn't like to think too much about the information that his friend just said

"You know what, you're probably right, pal- I'll see ya, tomorrow" He sighs as he gives him a small smile and pats his back as he waved goodbye to Dustin

When he's about to unlock the driver's seat to his van

Fuck, he jumped when he felt a touch from his shoulder and my god- it is Chrissy

He wants to know who are you? Why do you know all of this?

It's so impossible that this is just a coincidence

"That girl is getting all too real for my liking, jesus christ" He muttered the words under his breath as he places his palm over his chest as he calms down first

"Sorry, Eddie- uh- I still need the-" He cuts her off as he motions to the passenger seat

"Yeah, you can hop on" He nods as he jogs over to the other side

"Eddie, do you have it?" Chrissy bops her knees up and down anxiously, she craned her neck to peek at Eddie who is looking through his stuff

"I got it- somewhere-" He stood up as he tries to think where he hid it and turns his back on her and went to his bedroom

When Eddie left her all alone, Chrissy thought she was still in the same world

A cold sweat runs through the side of her face when she realizes it as she furiously panicked as she looked everywhere for Eddie

"It's time for your suffering to end"

"Eddie!" she got goosebumps at the sound of this monstrous voice as she continues to kick and bang every wall to cry out for help

"Found it! peaceful bliss just moments away" his smile fades when he saw Chrissy standing so still and he noticed her eye color changed

It's all white with blue-ish hues on them

He starts calling her name, snaps his fingers, clapping both of his hands, he shakes her by the both of her shoulders and slapping her cheek in the same process

His heart begins to thump into his chest when he noticed all the lights on the room are flickering non-stop

It finally dawned on him that you're right yet again

"What the fu-" he steps back when Chrissy begins to levitate, he didn't even know that his hand is shaking in fear

The front door bangs open as he fells all the way down to floor in shock when he saw you standing on his doorstep

You glare at him and then you saw Chrissy is on a trance, Vecna already has her and you know if you don't move now she will be gone for good

"Chrissy, I'm here, you can escape this"

You shakily put the headset on her and put the tape on your walkman and you press play

"I know he has you, please- listen to my voice, follow my voice, if you can see any portal in there, run for it, I know you can do it"

Eddie slowly gets back up to his feet as he swallows the lump in his throat as he walks closer to the both of you, he sniffles and has clammy hands

Chrissy saw the portal fading in behind Vecna as he holds her still

She quivered from the vines that goes along to her waist as she clocked the hammer beside the small table, she was just about to be covered in vines so she has the time to discreetly get it

By your doing, this caught the attention of Vecna as he turns his head back as he felt someone else doesn't belong in this timeline

She heard your voice as it echoes in again and again in the same area

The moment he looked at her again, Chrissy hit him in the head harshly buying more time to try to make a run for it

Vecna tries to get her but Chrissy swiftly dodges his traps as he grunts in pain

"Eddie" you call his name for assistance

He's in a state of shock as he doesn't know what to do, his ears began to throb as he can't steady the beating of his heart

"Eddie!" You said it out loud this time

"Y-Yeah?" His eyes are misty as he blinks at you

"I know you're scared but I need you to get ready to catch her, she must land between the two of us so she won't get hurt, Okay?" You demonstrate it to him

He gives you a tight nod as he inhales deeply

When Chrissy reaches the portal with you and Eddie being on it, the sight became all pitch black

The moment she woke up realizing she's still floating she dropped into your arms to Eddie's and she's finally brought back into the real world

She gasps in relief and began to wail in your arms and to Eddie's, she's still looking around as if she were being tricked again, you saw the look of almost life-threatening experience on her eyes, your eyes starts to water when she recognizes you and let her embrace you as she begins to weep

You saw Eddie's hands quavering as he looks like he's about to faint from what he just witnessed

Before he hits his head first, you hold his hand tightly making him look in your eyes directly as you use your other hand to held Chrissy as you comfort her

"You're okay, we're safe.....for now"

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ

taglist <3 : @paleidiot @marsmallow433 @whothefckissofia @letsfallinlove-blog @silky-luxe @imagine-all-the-imagines @theladyasgard

(Yay, finally, I posted the first chapter of this series and I hope you enjoyed and liked it! Thank you so so so very much of your support! I greatly appreciate it, I did not expected my idea to be recognized and I feel so happy about it! take care always and stay hydrated! I hope y'all stick around for the next part! 🥺🫶🏻✨)

[sissylittlefeather]

How the Web Was Woven: Chapter 7

A/N: PHEW this is a tough series to write, folks. But I promise if you hang on to the end, you won't be disappointed. This is another chapter in my time travel/soulmate AU with Elvis and a fem!reader. I hope you all like this chapter. Please don't give up on us. It's gonna get so gooooood.

Need to catch up? Here's my masterlist.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, kissing, cussing, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), p in v penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, angsttttttt

Word count: ~2.5k

Will he ever see you again?

******

You sit in your bed staring at your left hand and the diamond ring nestled there on your finger. Jeff is asleep next to you snoring quietly. You knew the proposal was coming, since you've been together for almost a year and a half, but now that the ring is on your finger there's only one thought in your head: you have to tell Elvis.

Even though you ended on difficult terms, you feel like you owe it to him to let him know that you're okay and that you can live the rest of your life without him. You know he can and will live the rest of his without you. You're not sure why, but a single tear escapes and slides down your cheek. You haven't seen him in 2 years and pushing him through the portal was the hardest thing you'd ever done. Would he even want to see you? How on earth would you make a portal to get back if he hates you?

Still, you have to risk it. Something is telling you that you need to let him know. Whatever the thing is that binds you together is screaming at you to try to find him. You pull your phone out and start doing research to figure out where he is in the spring of '62. He's filming Girls Girls Girls.

"You okay, baby?" Jeff rolls over and notices that you're awake.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I just... I need to go to Hawaii."

"Hawaii?!"

"Yeah. Just trust me. I'll be back in a couple days."

"Whatever you say, babe." He rolls over and goes back to sleep.

There's a distinct squeezing feeling in your chest and you hate to admit it, but you miss Elvis.

******

Elvis gets back to his hotel room at the Hawaiian Village in Oahu after a long day of filming and lays on his bed fully clothed. Out of nowhere, you enter his mind. He's tried so hard not to think about you over the past two years, but when he's especially tired, he just can't help it. The same old wondering about whether he'll ever see you again hits him and he wants to cry. After the way you literally shoved him away last time, though, he's pretty sure you won't come looking for him again. Still, he says a quick prayer that you're okay, wherever you are, and squeezes his eyes shut so that the tears that have gathered there slide down the side of his face into his hair. For the first time in a while, he lets himself miss you.

******

On the plane, you nervously fidget with the new ring on your finger. You think about the last two years, about graduation, starting to date Jeff, getting your job, and everything else that's happened. The six months after you forced Elvis to leave were a dark time for you. And then there was Jeff. You'd met him that same night, but you didn't expect him to come crashing back into your life like he did. He dragged you out of your depression and made you go to counseling. He helped you cut back on your drinking and really actually saved your life. You don't feel about him the way you felt, or feel, about Elvis, but you love him. He's a good man and he'll be a good husband.

But he's not Elvis. And your stomach flutters at the thought of seeing him again.

******

Another day of shooting is over and Elvis falls back onto his bed again. For some reason, he's thinking about you again and he's starting to get annoyed with himself for not being able to focus on what he's actually doing. Why are you back in his mind? He shakes his head and goes to take a shower.

When he steps out, towel around his waist, his jaw damn near hits the floor. The old familiar buzzing sound is there, complete with the wavy air.

******

You step through the portal and it closes behind you with a pop.

"Hi Elvis." He stands there unable to speak. A lump has formed in his throat and he's not sure whether he should kiss you or yell at you.

"What are you doing here?" He finally gets out.

"I-I... it's a long story." The tension in the room is so thick you'd need a hell of a knife to cut through it. He walks past you to the bed and sits down on the edge of it in an effort to keep himself from passing out.

"I never thought I'd see you again."

"I know. Do you hate me?" You ask tentatively, not sure you're ready for the answer. He's dying to run to you and wrap his arms around you, to feel your skin against his and press his lips to you finally after all this time. But he doesn't.

"I wouldn't say hate."

"But you're not happy to see me."

"How many times am I supposed to let you hurt me before I can stop being happy to see you?" His words cut through you like a laser and you feel the tears well up in your eyes. He's not wrong. You have hurt him pretty badly twice now. You look down at your feet to hide the tears that are now sliding down your cheeks. All you can do is whisper.

"I'm sorry."

He can tell you're crying and it breaks his heart. He knows it wasn't easy to push him away like you did, especially with the state you were in without him. After a few more minutes, he can't stand it anymore.

He stands up and takes three steps to you, wrapping you in his arms and holding you tightly. You cry into his chest and he strokes your hair soothingly.

But you're not just crying because you've hurt him in the past. You're crying because you know you're about to do it again. For a wild second you consider just staying with him in 1962. To hell with not changing the past and with your own future. You want him. But you can't. He matters too much. You can't take that away from him or from the world.

"Now, honey, why don't you tell me why you're here?" He backs up and takes both of your hands in his. That's when he notices your ring. "What the hell is this?"

You take a deep breath and close your eyes for a second before you answer him.

"It's the reason I'm here, Elvis."

"Y/n, did you get married?"

"Not yet. But I'm going to." He stumbles backwards away from you and sits down on the edge of the bed.

"Who is he?" You sit down next to him and he gets up and walks away. He goes to the closet and pulls out a pair of pants, putting them on a little more aggressively than necessary.

"It doesn't matter."

"Like hell it doesn't. I need to know who's taking my woman."

"Elvis. Seriously? Do you think I don't know about Anita? And Sandy? And Priscilla?" He stops and it's like someone has dumped ice water down his spine.

"Y-y-you know about them?"

"I know about all of them. And I know who you will marry and it's not me. Did you think I was gonna sit around in my time pining over you while you lived your life?" He pulls a shirt over his head and sits down next to you on the bed. He turns and looks at you with a sad look in his eyes.

"No. I don't know what I thought. I guess I just hoped... but no, you're right. You should be happy in your time. Do you love him?" You manage a weak half-smile.

"He's good to me."

"That doesn't answer my question. Because I couldn't let you go to anyone that you don't-"

"I love him." You want to tell him that you don't love Jeff the way you love him, but what purpose would that serve?

"So I guess this is it, then?" You look into his eyes and try to keep yourself from crying again.

"I guess it is. Will you kiss me one more time. Like you mean it?"

"Honey, I do mean it." He leans in and kisses you deeply, his tongue brushing against yours tenderly.

"Make love to me like you mean it."

His hands roam over your body and he kisses down your neck.

"I mean it more than anything. Honey, if this is really the last time, I'm gonna make it count."

He lays you down on the bed and kisses the skin he can reach on your chest. Then he runs his hand under your shirt and lifts it over your head. He undoes your bra in one try and throws it to the side.

"You're so beautiful. I love your body. I just need to say that." He kisses down your chest and licks and sucks each of your nipples. He kisses back up to your mouth and groans into your mouth. His hand makes it way down to your center underneath your pants. But he stops before his fingers slide inside you.

"Would he... can I?"

"I want you to. Please." He nods and pushes his fingers into you. You moan and throw your head back in pleasure. No one will ever be able to bring you such pleasure with just his hand. He kisses your mouth deeply.

"We need to send you home. We need a portal."

"And I want you one last time."

"One last time."

You choke back tears as he moves his mouth from your neck down to your center. He pulls your pants down and off and kisses the inside of your thighs. His tongue moves up to your core and he licks over and around your clit skillfully.

"God, yes, I need it one more time."

"One more time, baby." He whispers into you as he continues to lick your clit. You feel the coil of your orgasm tighten in your lower stomach as he works between your legs.

"Yes, baby, please." You moan, running your fingers through his hair. Nothing Jeff does turns you on like Elvis does.

"Come for me honey. One last time." It doesn't take much more for you to slide over the edge into oblivion with his tongue moving on you as the electricity runs through you from your core to the tips of your fingers.

You squeeze your eyes shut tightly as he moves up your body, unbuttoning his pants to line himself up with your entrance.

"Hey. Is this what you want?" He kisses your cheek and waits for your answer before moving.

"Yes. Yes, god, I want it more than anything."

"Then look at me." You open your eyes and meet his deep blue ones in anticipation. He puts a hand on your cheek. "I will always love you. But I understand. I know we can only have this moment and nothing more. I don't love you any less because of it."

"Oh, Elvis." He presses his forehead to yours and then pushes into you slowly.

"Tell me you love me."

"God, you know I do."

"Say it anyway, so I have something to remember forever."

"I love you with all of me. Always and forever." He moves inside you, picking up speed with each thrust.

"That's my girl." He moves faster and faster, moving closer and closer to the end. Neither of you wants it to be over, but you both know you have lives waiting for you on the other side.

You wrap your legs around him in the hope that you can keep him closer for even just a moment longer. He grunts with the change in sensation and lays his head on your shoulder as he fucks you.

"I don't want you to leave me."

"I don't want to leave you." He captures your lips in a deep kiss and continues pushing toward the end. His cock slides in and out of you rhythmically and you want to cry with the intensity of your passion. Finally, he shudders and you feel his warmth fill you. His shoulders shake with the depth of his affection for you and you hold him close as you both weep. It's not long before you hear the buzzing sound and you have the insane urge to stay again.

You push his head up off of your shoulder and run your fingers through his hair.

"What if I stayed?" He pops his head up and looks at you.

"You know you can't. He's waiting for you." You sob openly. He's right. Your fiancé is waiting for you and his life is waiting for him. He holds you tightly as you cry for another couple of minutes. Then he kisses your forehead.

"You have to go, honey." You nod and slide out of the bed. You slowly gather your clothing and dress enough to get back through the portal. He stands up and pulls you to him one last time. "I will always love you. I hope he makes you as happy as you deserve to be."

"I love you, Elvis."

"I know, honey. I know." You grab his hand and kiss his fingers one last time. Then, you walk through the portal away from him toward your future. He watches you walk through and decides it's time to move Priscilla to Graceland and move on with his life.

******

It's 1966 and Elvis is knee deep in filming another stupid movie that the Colonel signed him to. He's ready to walk off the set and never come back to Hollywood. His whole career is a farce and his life feels like a joke. He finds a bathroom and is just about to seek some quiet time inside when he hears it.

The buzzing sound.

He looks to his left and sees the wavy air. It's been 4 long years and so much has changed. Why would a portal appear now? He was pretty sure that when he saw you in '62 it was the last time he'd ever see you. Still, the portal is undeniable. It tempts him with the possibility of seeing you and getting a break from his tedious and impossibly irritating schedule of filming. Even if it is a mistake, who cares at this point? Anything is better than the mind-numbing movies and soul-crushing reality of his current life.

He walks through the portal cautiously. When he does, he's shocked to find you on the floor. You have your knees folded and your whole body is shaking as you sob.

What the hell has happened to you in the 4 years since he's seen you?

******

Until chapter 8!

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Taglist:

@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @that-hotdog @eddiesgirlforever @helen06dreamer @returntopresley @rjmartin11

[altxrrmelancholy]

The Seventh Minute - KHJ

When Hongjoong came to your life, he made promises he promised to keep. Turns out your lover is a powerful entity, and the promises he made to you are not the only ones he aims to keep. That includes the promise of your death.

(This is like ‘My Demon', but if the main female lead made a wish instead.)

Word Count: 2.3k

Tags: a bit of fluff, explicit scenes, talks of death, reader is depressed, angst.

～⁠～⁠～

The Mornings had become moments you dreaded.

Opening your eyes has now started noticeably becoming more painful each morning. Maybe it's because you've started becoming more aware of your surroundings. Of yourself. Small movements like blinking, taking your first breath once you're conscious. Like your toes twitching as your body roars to life like an engine. Like a car getting started. Like the way you stare at the ceiling, unable to move even though you know you should have gotten up by now.

You never would have realized that this is what it would have come to. No gut feeling, no random sign from the universe. Nothing. When he told you he would be by your side, you believed him. When he told you he would make sure that he protected you, you believed him. When he said he would grant you one wish, and that it would come true, you didn't believe him. Besides, what kind of wish would get you out of the situation you call your life? What kind of wish would get you away from your family?

Wrapped in the throes of pleasure that night, he asked you to make a wish.

“J- Ah!” On his knees in front of you with your legs wrapped around his waist, he grunted. He tenderly held your waist as he thrusted inside you, your walls reacting by squeezing him, making him grunt again. Your half opened eyes watched him as he looked down upon where your bodies were connected, his hair shielding his eyes. He suddenly fell to your naked chest, grabbed your arms and wrapped them around his muscular shoulders. You shuddered at the contact.

“Make a wish.” You were caught up on the noises your lover was making that you almost missed the words he uttered. “H- huh? Make a- hng!” A particular hard thrust cut you off as he noticed how absent you were. How he loved that. How absent from reality you looked when you were with him. How he was able to make you forget your problems for a while. It is these moments where he wished he could give you everything. That's why he, without thinking, told you to make a wish.

As his movements sped up, so did your panting. He had alternated to hard grinds rather than thrusting, and it's like you could feel his soul. Your grip around his shoulders tightened. His normally cold hands around your waist felt warm at that moment. It is when he pushed his head deeper into your neck that you came, subtly shaking as you did so. You blacked out for a moment not realizing that your actions prompted your lover's orgasm. He relaxed on top of you.

You opened your eyes slightly.

“I wish I didn't have to take over the burden of my family's business.”

Hongjoong lifted his head and looked at the calendar by your door.

26th of February.

Even as you lay on your bed staring at your ceiling, none of the events that transpired next could be foreshadowed, you thought. You didn't think you would have even lived for ten more years from that moment. But you severely underestimated Hongjoong's ability to keep his promises. He said he would make sure you lived. That you would be happy as long as he was in your life. That you would thrive. Your lover tends to spew nonsense sometimes. So then, you brushed off his comments.

And then he told you he was a Demon. You were 21, two years since you met him, one since he asked you to make that wish.

In that year, a lot had changed. Ever since the chairwoman died, there had been an uproar among your ‘siblings’ about who was to inherit the title. The will was read a couple of days after she was laid to rest and it turned out she had left the majority of her assets to you, including the responsibility of foreseeing activities throughout her companies. The title of chairwoman. Needless to say, Seungcheol, your supposed older brother, was furious.

“Apparently, they decided to appoint Seungcheol after all, since he was deemed more suited.” You told Hongjoong one day, as you both lay on your couch in your loft. His hand was rubbing circles on your shoulder as you lay on his chest. The room was dark, save for the light coming from the city through the floor-to-ceiling window. “No wonder he was happy this morning.”

Hongjoong smiled softly as he heard you recount the day's tales. “Well good. That's one extremely huge weight off your shoulders, right?” You both chuckled.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” You mused. You figured Hongjoong did something, as your lawyers didn't bother to put up much of a fight with this case. You assumed they simply matched your energy, not wanting to be part of the arguments the Chois were struggling to put up. At least with Seungcheol being the chairman, every complaint about the company chains was none of your business. At least you hoped so.

“What makes you think I had something to do with anything?” He uttered, still smiling.

“Aha! You see?” You suddenly sat up, smiling. “I didn't say you did anything, I just asked if you had something to tell me. Seems like you actually do.”

He shifted his hands and folded them under where his head lay. Still smiling. “You didn't catch on?”

“Catch what?”

He then turned his head and looked behind you. You narrowed your eyes at him and looked behind you. Turns out he was looking at a bookshelf. On that shelf, was a huge green book with a cross symbol on it. On the intersection where the parts of the cross met was a huge green gem. The gem sometimes glowed. You read the book secretly sometimes when Hongjoong was out of the house. Initially you thought that he was just part of a cult, which scared you a bit but didn't surprise you as some high class people were in cults. You had been afraid to ask him what the words in the book meant, especially the parts that weren't in English or any understandable language.

You turn your head towards him. “The first page of the book says ‘demon’.”

He was now staring at you.

“I'm a demon.”

“Why do you talk to me like I'm a fool sometimes.” You slightly smiled.

“I know you're not a fool. And I'm simply stating the truth.” One of his hands left the back of his head. He trailed the one up your clothless thigh, still looking in your eyes. You shuddered a bit but kept your eyes on him, slightly narrowed. Your lover was a bit of a sadist sometimes, so damned are you if you let him know what an effect he has on you.

He traced his eyes down your body. He loved the (his) buttoned shirt you wore. The reason you decided to wear it instead of your clothes, he didn't fully understand. Especially with nothing else but underwear. He only knew that he loved how you looked wearing it, and would be willing to sacrifice his clothes if you kept making him feel like you do.

He too, suddenly sat up and was face to face with you. You shuddered again.

“When I asked you to make the wish, do you remember?” He tucked some of your long hair behind your ear. “You wished that you didn't have to deal with all this drama.”

“Yes?” You drawled.

“I took that away. I made your wish come true."

“You made my wish come true?”

“Hmm. I did, princess.”

He didn't think you understood the weight of what he said. You were so absent that you weren't even taking him seriously. He hated to admit it, but he liked the look in your eyes, the look you give him when he pays attention to you. When he's telling you important information but you're just giving him a look that has him feeling like he has butterflies. Only for him.

Your smile grew as you took your bottom lip to your teeth, lightly biting down. Hongjoong took his thumb to your lip and released it from the harsh confines of your teeth. He leaned in and took it to his teeth instead. The hand that was on your thigh reached around you to grab your ass and pull you towards him, making out with him in the darkness. It was moments like these that felt like a dream. That felt like you were delusional sometimes, like you were a schizophrenic conjuring up a reality you wished you lived in instead.

You pulled away a bit. “I'm not schizophrenic, right?”

Hongjoong was caught unaware with your words and suddenly burst out laughing. “No princess, you're not schizophrenic.”

“Just making sure.” You smiled. You dove back in for that kiss, very aware of the fact that you were turned on. You lightly grinded on him and that gave him a hint. You were suddenly under him as he rolled you over on the couch, your legs still around his waist. He tested you by rolling his hips onto yours while keeping his eyes on you, and you thought that he was very sexy. He had pretty eyes. He slightly smirked when he noticed the absent look in your eyes again.

Just for him.

You were already moaning softly as you struggled to keep eye contact as your eyes threatened to shut. You didn't want to miss any moment.

You didn't want to miss him.

“I love you.” You uttered up at him, staring at him like he created you.

He smiled and dove in to kiss you, and that was your answer.

Your mornings were usually spent with Hongjoong. When you would wake up the next day ready to live another day with him, usually after a night that left your entire body sore. You would almost always wake up to find him staring at you. You would weirdly look at him and lightly slap him sometimes and he would look all shocked and go, ‘Hey! Do you know who you've just slapped? I am a demon!’ And then you would laugh loudly and give him little kisses to calm him down.

Your mornings were usually spent with Hongjoong, when you would make breakfast for the both of you and scold him that he should learn to make food on his own. He would sneer at you and say demons don't make breakfast. You would look at his audacious ass and say that you were done making food for him. If you were in a good mood, he would take you on the kitchen counter with little mercy and joke that you were lesser than him. He would hold your waist while thrusting into you from behind and say, “You wanna try talking back to a demon again? Huh?” and make you come quicker than the toast would be ready. However, if you were in a bad mood, he would come up behind you and hug you, hands heavy on your waist, claiming he was moral support. You would simply roll your eyes as you continue to fry the eggs.

Your mornings with Hongjoong were always chaotic. You never caught a break. But who needs a break with Hongjoong around? He was a light, a comfort, a challenge. He was your favorite person as you didn't like that many people you knew. Ten years of happiness and laughter, worries and arguments, little ailments and relaxations. You did it all.

This morning however, like the past months, weren't as happy. You got up from bed. Alone. No arms around you, no breathing down your neck, no kisses down your spine, nothing. You took the small container that was beside you on the desk and took out two pills, which you swallowed dry. You looked down the container in what seemed like slow motion to you and noticed only three pills remain. You didn't think about refilling the container as it wasn't necessary. Besides, depression wasn't going to be what would cause your death after all.

You got up and slightly stretched, looking through your bedroom window. The city was alive but it was quiet around you. You might have been depressed but you were currently content. Like a break in a symphony before the last short piece played. Like an imperfect cadence in a piece of music that indicated the end was near, but not quite yet. Like you were standing on the road, but you could see a sign saying ‘you have arrived.’ Only you weren't clear on what the destination was.

You willed yourself to cry these past couple of months to no avail. You thought it was because you had already had it in you, the will to die. But the will to die was taken away. He promised he would make you happy, he did. He told you he would stay by your side, he did. Except now though, when you had chased him away a couple of days ago after an argument you had. Your imminent death hasn't been easy on him. You didn't want him to see you like this. All depressed and empty. You missed him though, that was the truth.

You walked to the calendar by your bedroom door.

25th February.

You closed your eyes and deeply inhaled before walking out of your room, unaware of the presence at the corner with tired eyes. The presence that has always watched you when you woke up. The presence that has never left your side, because he promised you that he wouldn't.

～⁠～⁠～

°•°• Note: My first fic on here. Tell me what y'all think!

[quigonswife8]

Johnny Cage x reader: depression

You may deal with depression but at least you have John to help you get through it

[gif creds: @mortal-kombat-1]

Warnings: depression.

Here for you if you ever need to talk, you're not alone❤️

---

John Carlton, better known as Johnny Cage, is your partner of four years. The two of you wed in your hometown, and have been going strong just as long. He may be famous, adored by many, but he's still the same man you married. The same man that took your heart, and has kept it ever since.

The two of you trust one-another with your lives, would do anything for one-another. The day you told him about your depression he became more protective, more loving than he already was. He had sat down with you taken your hand in his and gave you a loving speech about never leaving you; even if the thoughts would convince you otherwise.

People would be confused, however; you're married to the Johnny Cage, you have unlimited money at your expense, a lavish house and plenty of food to last a life time. Gifts and limo rides, all the best places you've visited, and everything you've ever needed, so why would there even be depression.

Well even with all of this and more that's how depression works. As hard as you try and get that same happiness from what you used to love on some, if not most days, those same things don't bring that same meaningfulness, same happiness.

------

The sun slithers in through your half-opened blinds; with a soft groan you rub your eyes. They move overt to the alarm clock crooked on your side-table, and in large easy to read the numbers 10:00 am.

John, currently at work, had left a cute handwritten note on the side-table:

Hey sweets I had to get going and continue filming the movie and all that, but I left you some money for you to order in. I'll see you at home later on.

-lots of love, your movie-star❤️

Your favourite perfume sprayed on the note brings a smile, even if it's small, to your face. You hold the note to your chest and sigh softly; he's always so considerate, so sympathetic and caring. He may have a big ego, even John admits to that, but that doesn't cloud the rest of his personality.

A quick glance at the clock 10:10. it feels so early despite it already being 10 in the morning. Though this isn't a rare occurrence and if there's anyone that knows that best, it's John; maybe that's why he left you money to order in, he had probably picked up your depressive mood recently. No words had to be exchanged, as John can read body language pretty well i.e. comes with being a movie star.

"I love you John..." the note still held to your chest.

-

For the rest of the day you lounge around; John sends the occasional message checking up on you. He leaves pictures of himself at work too.

11:01: thinking of you sweets, I love you heaps❤️

12:05: I just remembered this nice little italian joint when you're up for it i'd love to take you honey. Imagining you all dressed up is making me flustered ;) but you could wear a trashbag and still make me flustered anyway❤️

2:05: Sorry for the late reply sweets had to re-take this scene more times than I could count, but I’ll be home soon. I know that you’re not really doing well so I’m gonna finish wrapping up and I’ll be home.

All these messages and more bring a purpose to your life, that he always brings. No matter how down you feel Johnny always knows how to make you a little better, be it with compliments, cuddles, kisses, etc; he's your light in the dark, truly.

You run a hand over your face, the depression seeming to kick in bad. It's almost as if your mood did a full 180 when you already woke up feeling bad.

You doze off a few times before John returns to you, your love returns.

[3:05 pm]

A familiar door opening followed by the sweet sound of your husbands voice brings you out of the book you're ready. Placing it down on the bed your feet carry you downstairs to John, and John lights up seeing his beloved.

"Come here honey..."- his arms outstretched to hug you. You close the gap and wrap your arms around him in a kind of needy way, to which John happily obliges by tightening his arms around you.

"I'm so happy to be home..."

"And i'm happy you're home baby."

John rubs your back, and then pulls out of the hug. His right hand moving underneath your chin to tilt it up towards him; his eyes have softened, they only focus on you and nothing else. He missed giving you attention and you missed receiving it even if he was only gone for the day.

"You're so perfect, I swear I fall more in love with everytime I see you."- a soft chuckle following, though that smile he wears doesn't falter. "...look at you making this movie-star melt."

You giggle and look down, and John laughs softly.

"God you're adorable..."- and he leans down and kisses your cheek. "...now time to go lay down sweets.” without a second thought John scoops you up in his arms and carries you up to the room: he still has some movie makeup left on his face yet regardless he still looks perfect.

The thoughts make you wonder how he could even be with you, but your heart wins and you only melt more knowing he chose you.

John lays you down on the bed, adjusting the pillows and blanket. Then he crawls under the blanket and with one swift movement has wrapped you up in his arms once more, your head pressed against his chest.

He presses a soft kiss to your head and creates more room to be more comfortable while keeping you close; so close you can hear his heartbeat. It's calming.

"So...how have you been sweets? Im so sorry that you’re going through this…it’s bad, huh.” you love how well he can read you. You sigh and start:

"Yeah I haven't been great John. My...depression has been bad, i've been trying to manage it but it only gets worse. I barely left the bed today I know I should have but I...I just couldn't..."

John's heart breaks even more, and he tightens his hold but not uncomfortably. "Oh honey I'm so sorry." and he presses another kiss to your head, it's so...sweet and so calming. "...I may not be going through what you're going through but that doesn't mean you're not, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this shitty thing."

John sighs softly and closes his eyes. "...but like I always say i'm here for you no matter what and you know what? I'm gonna take a week off work to be here with you-"

"But John-"

"No buts." he hushes you softly. "...the movie can wait, your health and wellbeing is more important. That’s why I wrapped up early to be here for you. So how about we spend the week just lounging around watching cheesy movies in our pajamas.”

Oh you love this man.

"Really?"

He squeezes your hand and smiles, those pearly whites on display.

"Really sweetheart. God if the movie has to be stopped altogether I could care less, because you're my world sweets, and you mean more than some fake movie. So I'm gonna pamper you and show you all the love and attention sweetheart." and he pulls you closer and presses yet another kiss to your head. "...because you deserve it all, and more. My angel."

Shifting your body, you smile. You smile and press a kiss to his cheek which makes him blush a little, and then you put a hand on his cheek, and keep it there. The love in both of your eyes are so evident.

"I love you, so much."

You settle back into his arms and John keeps you close to his chest, to his heart. Your breathing evens out and you find yourself drifting off in his loving embrace; before that happens he whispers an I love you, then, you're out.

John looks down at you so lovingly, and he pulls the blankets up, resting his head on the pillow being careful not to wake you.

He takes another look at you, another "I love you." falling from his lips, then like you John is out. The two of you asleep in one-another's arms, almost like you're the only two people left in this world and nothing else matters.

----

[ilyxxnsm]

True Love 06 - TW!!

| is true love supposed to hurt like this?

warning: domestic violence, toxicity, s/a. don't judge. smut. reader's body type briefly mentioned. reader's ethnicity's not mentioned, but she's light skinned to white. mental health mentioned (medication, depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc). implied self harm (skin pinching, nail biting, scratching, hair pulling). of course physical abuse (hair pulling, slapping, pinching, punching, he breaks bones be fr, hickeys and bite marks??). drug dealer yoongi. everything against reader. reader's 17, yoongi's 23. this is fucked up, like really fucked up.

| I'm going to set this fucking cemetery on fire, burying the foundations of your empire, I warned you not to play with my nerves, because for the hell of it, I'm taking you out of this guild...

TW: S/A

It's been a week since Yoongi took you back, and you feel like a caged bird.

Yoongi's been busy working on his music and he hasn't been around that much, so you've had time think about stuff. Ever since he almost killed you, you've distanced yourself from him a bit, you don't call him every day, and you don't feel that usual need to have him around all the time, you don't even feel that sexual desire that's always present when he comes to mind. You don't really know what's going on, maybe you don't love him anymore? Maybe it's just a matter of time until you fully forgive him and everything goes back to normal.

Since Yoongi's not home most part of the day, he's not present in those moments where you throw up your guts out, when you feel dizzy all of sudden and wake up in the middle of the night with all of this mixed together. You've had time to think about the situation and you finally came to a realization. You're pregnant.

It's the only thing that explains your late period and sleepless nights, and it's pretty possible since Yoongi doesn't wear condoms and he buys you birth control pills every two months when he remembers you're supposed to take them. The mere thought of telling him about this makes you have panic attacks, it's so stupid you wanna slap yourself for even thinking about telling him the truth, he would take the matter in his own hands, and he would definitely do more than just break your a few bones.

The other part of the dilemma, is that you don't really wanna get rid of the baby. Yeah, your boyfriend is a narcissistic sociopath who almost unalived you for smiling at a random clerk, but you still love him, and this little bean growing inside you, is half you, half him. You've always been a pro-choice girl, but now that your living the situation, it isn't as easy as you thought it was, not even when your life is in danger if you try to make a choice.

So, you wanna have the baby, but you don't wanna tell him cause you're afraid of raising a child with him, but you're also afraid of being a single mother when you have nothing else than him.

You're screwed.

You wake up in the middle of the night to find out he's already back home, sleeping next to you. The only sound you can hear is the AC working and his soft snores, the occasional sound of honks and cars and a faint beat of the music coming from the bar next to the apartment complex. He's sleeping like a baby, his forearm thrown over his eyes and his other hand on his stomach, he looks so cute like this. You stand up carefully to not wake him up and walk towards the bathroom, locking the door behind you. You inmediatly lift your shirt to see your belly, maybe you're being paranoid, but you sweat it looks rounder, and it feels hard, like it's not just fat.

You shake your head, trying to clear your mind of the wild thoughts. You don't even know if you're actually pregnant yet, you can't start getting ahead of yourself like that. But the thought keeps playing in your mind like a broken record. You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. You know you need to tell him, you can't keep this secret from him forever. You splash some water on your face again, trying to ground yourself. You look at yourself in the mirror again, trying to picture what you'll look like when you start to show, trying to imagine him holding you, rubbing your belly, talking to the baby and feeling it kick. The thought makes your heart flutter, but the anxiety is there too, nagging at you like a constant thorn in your side. You need to tell him, pregnant or not, you need to know what he thinks about it. But not now, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few weeks, maybe when the baby's already here.

You go back to bed, hoping this is just a bad dream and you magically appear back in your own apartment getting ready for your first date with Yoongi, who's not a sociopath who tries to kill you any chance he has. But that doesn't happen.

The next morning, Yoongi wakes you up by grabbing your hair and pulling you out of bed, are you dreaming? He's wearing only his boxers, his hard cock pressing against your ass as he pins you to the mattress. No, you're not, this is pretty fucking real, you know it because it has happened a lot of times before. "You slept a lot" He growls, giving your hair a sharp tug. You can't even fight back, you're still sleepy and your eyes are wide open but bloodshot and tired. You feel him spreading your folds, and you let out a choked scream as he starts fucking you relentlessly, not even giving you time to lubricate properly, so it hurts like hell. His cock stretches and tears your walls, the sight of your blood only turns him on even more. "Fuck, you're so beautiful..." He grins, kneading your asscheeks and giving your hair a few tugs.

Yoongi's pace picks up as he continues to fuck you, hard. The sound of his balls slapping against your pussy echoes in the room, mixing with the wet panting that leaves your lips each time he thrusts himself deeper inside of you. "Stop fucking crying" Yoongi barks, slapping your face as he fucks you, his cock plunging in and out of you. His hands wander down to your neck, squeezing and massaging it. His thrusts become more frantic and desperate, the smell of sex and blood fills the room. You don't know for how long this keeps goinf before he grunts as he empties his load inside you, a satisfied growl escaping from his throat as he enjoys the feeling of your body trembling underneath him. Tears are falling down your cheeks as your body falls limp against the mattress, your pussy aching and tickling with the trail of cum dripping down your thighs.

You can't even understand it.

Yoongi slowly starts to pull out of you, leaving a trail of blood and cum. He smirks as he observes the damage he has inflicted on you, a twisted grin on his face. He reaches between your legs, sliding two fingers into your bloody pussy, making you gasp in pain. He chuckles and pulls his fingers out, wiping them on your asscheeks, leaving a red and swollen mess. He gets off the bed, not even bothering to clean you up, and walks to the bathroom, leaving you lying there, your eyes vacant and your body limp. He just raped you, but it's ok cause he's your boyfriend and you consented it, at some point you can't even remember, probably the first time he did it and you said you forgave him. But you're not mad at him, you're just a bit... confused and hurt. You whimper as you move slightly to cover yourself with the bedsheets, you're body trembling as you hug yourself.

Time seems to pass slowly, the walls feel so small around you and the blankets unable to stop you from shivering even though you're sweating. Yoongi returns from the bathroom, now dressed in a fresh change of clothes. He looks at you, and scoffs at the sight of you, still lying there with the bedsheets covering your naked body. "I'm going to the studio, probably won't be back tonight" He says as he shoves his phone and keys in his pocket, acting like you were watching TV instead of crying and bleeding after he assaulted you. He opens the door and leaves, slamming it shut behind him, and you're left alone with your thoughts, the pain and emotional distress overwhelming you. The sheets are stained with your blood and cum, a grim reminder of what just transpired. You try to sit up, wincing as the movement causes discomfort in your raw, abused pussy. You hear the sound of his car starting and driving away. You spread your folds with shaky fingers, watching the blood already starting to dry and his cum making everything sticky. You wince and close your eyes, holding back tears and sobs, you feel horrible, you don't understand why he's like this, why he hurts you every single time he's near you. Are you that despicable? That disgusting that everyone around you hates you?

You huff out a sigh and force yourself out of the bed, your legs shaking from the mix of pain and exhaustion. Your movements look robotic as you move through the house to the kitchen, picking up one of your many water bottles, you need something to drink, it soothes the pain slightly. You take your pills and also some painkillers, wondering if it's dangerous to mix them together, but you really don't care. You drink a whole bottle of water in one gulp, your body still feeling dry and stiff, as if you were a plant that's slowly dying. You don't wanna die, but you don't wanna live like this, but you live him, but he hurts you. Your thoughts are a mess. You start pulling on your hair out of anxiety and desperation, wanting to stop your mind from working and torturing you even more. You hit your head a few times and scream, your legs failing and making you fall to your knees.

Everything feels so heavy, like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and everybody's worst problems are now yours. It's probably stupid since there's probably people starving (against their will) and dying in war and you're just a stupid girl whose problems are merely her fault. You blame yourself, you blame everybody, even your father for getting your mother pregnant of you, but you can't bring yourself to blame Yoongi. Cause yeah, even after all of the things he's done, you still love him with all your fucking stupid heart.

You stay kneeling on the kitchen floor, your head in your hands, your body shaking with silent sobs. You feel so empty, so broken, like you're just a doll that Yoongi can play with and toss aside whenever he pleases. The pain in your head from hitting it, the pain in your pussy from being raped, the pain in your heart, it's all just too much. You start to sob uncontrollably, your body shaking as you kneel on the hard floor, your hands still tangled in your hair, pulling it tightly and yanking out a few hairs. You don't know how many time you spend having a breakdown in the kitchen, but suddenly, everything feels clear again and you're in his apartment still, not in the sea of thoughts of your mind. You stand up slowly and sigh, feeling stupid for acting like a baby throwing a tantrum. You walk towards the bathroom to take a quick shower, you don't feel sad now, you feel like you give a fuck and you don't even know why.

You should just leave, you can, and if you don't, well, that a you problem, right? Yeah, that's it.

He just comes back to you to fuck you up even more, to stomp on your self esteem and your persona and even your body. And you're slowly getting tired of it, you wanna kill him and kill yourself, whatever destiny wants to make happen first.

[petrichor-idyllic]

Hey Petri, I want to request a Pope Hayward x fem! Kook reader where they are at a party and he has a crush on her and the pogues give him advice on how to flirt with her, and he kinda of embarrassed himself, and reader is having the time of her life watching it, and then he just gives up and goes back to his nerdy self and she loves it cause she's secretly a nerd and has a thing for him too ( hope you get it <3 )

Wooooo as much as I love TMR I do enjoy the odd request I get for other fandoms.

Also Pope is severely underrated.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT

MASTERLIST | POPE MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Does not follow the plot at all.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, Pope being an awkward dork, that's it.

The Pogues going to a Kook party was pretty much unheard of. But, with Sarah Cameron in the group now- she occasionally missed the high-end life of Figure 8.

So, she'd finally convinced the Pogues to come to a small event on her side of the island. Well, it was originally meant to be a small event, but now half of Kildare has shown up.

"Ew, look at all these plastic cups," Kie says as the Pogues walk through the front garden to the party; fashionably late, as always. "Do people know it's actually possible to have a good time without single use plastics? God."

"What?" JJ sneers. "You're telling me you don't like a good ol' fashioned classic red party cup? It's a staple of American culture."

"It's bad for the environment."

"So?"

So? Are you-?"

"Guys!" John B cuts off their bickering. "Can we have one night, please?"

"One night what?" JJ pushes.

"One night without this shit- we're here to have a good time, okay?"

"Okay."

"You got it, JB," JJ gives him a playful salute, making Pope and John B exchange glances.

"Why did we think the was a good idea?" Pope grumbles.

"Because, it's good to expand your social circle." John B says.

"We're only here because you can't say no to your girlfriend."

"Hey! That's not true."

Pope blankly looks at him as they reach the door. "What? It's not! Besides, this is a good time for you to get some action."

"What?" Pope follows John B into the house (basically a mansion), as Kie and JJ still bickering behind them despite their alleged compliance.

"Yanno, pull? You've been thrusting over Kie for so long it's getting embarrassing."

"Hey! You weren't much better before Sarah came along."

"John B!" Sarah squeals over the loud music, rushing over and throwing her arms around him. "I'm so glad you guys actually came!" She also hugs Kie. "Come on! Let's get you guys a drink."

The Pogues awkwardly venture through the house, earning dirty looks from the Kooks that populate the area.

There are a couple of girls who keep giggling and looking at JJ and John B as they stand in the kitchen.

Pope hates it.

He hates how easy it is for them to get attention. People want them all the time- they're rebellious, attractive and they're players. Well, JJ is.

He isn't like them. He works hard, likes school and obsessed over his future. He desperately wants to live in the moment, but he just can't bring himself to.

He's just not that type of person.

"Yo," JJ nudges him, passing him a spliff as he sits on the counter top, which Pope waves away.

"I'm good- gotta study tomorrow. Keeping the-"

"Yeah, yeah, gotta keep the signal clear, we know." JJ huffs. "You gotta loosen up, man, how you gonna get a girlfriend if you're so uptight?"

"What's up with you guys, tonight? What's this shit about girls all of a sudden?"

"It's always about girls... or money," JJ shrugs. "Sex and riches- that's what life's all about."

"That's a depressing way to think."

"Well, I'm not wrong, am I?"

Pope sighs. He doesn't know why he agreed to this. It's not like he's a party person, he only does it for his friends. He doesn't like drugs, or drinking or hook up culture.

He's completely out of place here.

And that's when he saw you.

"Oh, shit," you chuckle as you bump shoulders with someone leaving the kitchen. You put your hand on his shoulder. "Sorry, man, that's my bad."

The boy grins at you before slipping away. Your friend stands behind you, pushing in front and grabbing you towards the counter and immediately filling the cups with several different types of alcohol.

"Come on," your friend drags out her words, "you gotta drink with me!" She tries to force a cup into your hand, which you swerve.

"If I get hammered, who's gonna look after your dumbass and convince your Dad you're sober?" She rolls her eyes, going back to making her potion.

Pope's been looking at you since you walked in. You're the most gorgeous girl he thinks he's ever seen. He can't help but stare.

Something that JJ and John B notice.

John B nudges Pope, making him look at him as he wiggles his eyebrows. Pope shoves him and JJ bursts into laughter.

"Dude, you're totally makin' eyes at the Kook chick," JJ cackles.

"Shut up, bro!" Pope whisper-yells because you're only a few feet away and he's hoping the music keeping him covered.

"Which girl?" Kie pipes up.

"That one," JJ points at you.

"Oh my God," Kie laughs, as she finally notices you, "(Y/N)?"

Your name sparks your attention, a grin spreading across your face. "Kie? Holy shit!"

The girl comes over to you and you throw your arms around her. "I was so sad to hear you moved schools- I tried calling you."

She breaks away from the hug. "Yeah, I know, sorry; I changed my number after everything happened at the Kook Academy."

"I don't blame you," you sigh. "I'm sorry about all that shit, Kie, I tried to stop it."

"I know- it's not your fault. And it all worked out," she points at Sarah, who is whispering something to John B as he has his hand on her waist. "We're cool now."

"Huh, I woulda lost a lot of money on that bet," you smile at her.

"You, uh, you spoken to Rafe recently?"

"Nah, fuck that- fell out with Topper and Kelce too when they started being dicks to you. Don't need that kinda shit in my life."

"(Y/N), come on!" Your friend pulls on your arm. "I wanna dance!"

"Sorry, gotta go, I'll catch you later though, yeah?"

"Yeah, see ya around."

You vanish out of the kitchen being dragged away by your companion into the living room.

"Y-you know her?" Pope asks Kie, standing up straight.

"Yeah, (Y/N) was, like, the only decent person at the Kook Academy."

"Why didn't you tell us you were buddies with a total smoke-show?"

"Shut up, JJ," Kie and Pope say in unison.

"I can introduce you? If you want?" Kie smirks and Pope hesitates.

"No, it's fine, she's out of my league, so..."

"Pope, come on," JJ jumps off the counter, throwing his arm over his shoulder. "This is your chance."

"I said no, it's fine."

"C'mon, JJ's right; just talk to her. Let me introduce you guys." Kie smiles, nudging him slightly as JJ shakes him.

Pope groans. "Okay, okay- fine."

Kie grabs his hand, yanking him out of the kitchen and into the living room. You're standing casually, leaning on the fire place, checking your phone as your friend dances with some guy.

"How do I talk to her?" Pope stops Kie, making JJ nearly walk straight into his back.

"Just be cool," JJ shrugs.

"What does that even mean?"

"Just, yanno, don't be like you. Talk about all the shit do- pot, stealing, parties and shit."

"But I don't do that."

"You do now- you ain't gonna pull anyone with your corpse facts."

"J," Kie pushes him before turning to Pope, "just talk to her how you talk to us. It's easy. Come on."

She pushes through a few people, reaching you.

"Hey."

You look up, smiling at her. "Hey, Kie."

"This is Pope," she vaguely gestures towards him, "he's a friend from the Cut."

"Oh, this one of those Pogue boys you're always hanging out with?"

"Yeah, he's cool though. Ain't ya, Pope?"

"Uh, y-yeah, I'm uh," he clears his throat, "cool."

You raise your eyebrow slightly, giving a slow nod. "Cool."

There's a short thirty seconds of silence, and you unsure what you're supposed to do.

"I'm gonna go find Sarah," Kie smiles at Pope but he is visibly stressed. She disappears into the crowd, leaving the pair of you. Pope awkwardly rocks on his heels.

"So," you decide to take the lead, "what's life like on the Cut? Gotta be more fun than being trapped in the ivy tower."

"Yeah, it's great fun. We go out and get high and steal uh... stuff. Yanno, just for fun."

"... yeah, sounds like great fun."

Okay, this is weird.

Pope is cute. He doesn't look like the typical douchbag you're used to and it's kind of obvious he doesn't know what he talking about.

"I think I recognise you," you say, sparking his attention.

"You do?"

"Yeah, you help out at Midsummers, right? With your Dad? Heyward, right?" Pope's face drops, there goes his cool facade.

"Uh, yeah, I give my old man a hand from time to time- but I'm normally busy, yanno?"

"What? Doing drugs and committing crimes?" He blinks at you. "Your old man's a legend; it's nice to see actually hard-working people come out of this island instead of just junkie slackers and rich elitists. You should look up to him."

"...You think my Dad's cool?"

"Yeah, he seems like a good guy. Though, I figured causing problems and pissing people off was more Maybank style."

He smiles at you. "Yeah, JJ's not a great influence." You chuckle, a sound that makes his heart skip a beat. "Sorry," he sighs. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"Do you wanna try again?"

"What?"

You hold your arm out for him to shake. "Hi, I'm (Y/N). What's your name?"

He grins, shaking your hand. "Pope. It's nice to meet you."

"Pope, huh? I like that name. So, Pope, what do you like to do?"

"Well, I uh..." He hesitates. Lying clearly isn't working. "I'm working towards a scholarship at school."

"Oh, yeah? What in?"

"Foresics."

"Oh, that's cool, you reckon you're gonna get it?"

"I mean, I hope so. It'd be an amazing opportunity."

"I'm sure you will."

You and Pope continue talking, and he seems to loosen up a bit. He tells you all about his studies and working for his Dad, and you tell him about your school life and what it's like living on Figure 8.

It's actually kind of nice.

Until JJ and John B get into a fight with a couple of Kooks, which requires the whole group of Pogues to flee.

"Pope!" JJ grabs his friend. "We gotta go."

"Wha- J-?"

"Gotta go, gotta go now!"

"I'm gonna fucking kill you!" Someone shouts in the depths of the house.

"Shit, what'd you do?"

"Just- come on!" He practically yanks Pope away, forcing him to leave.

You sigh, noticing a pen and a pad left on the fireplace.

"Okay, I think we lost them."

"Dude," Pope shoves JJ once they're outside. "I was getting somewhere! She actually likes me!"

"My advice worked then, eh? Told ya it would."

"No; your advice was shit- she wanted to talk about my scholarship."

The Pogues hesitate.

"Are you serious?" John B asks.

"Pope!" You skip down the steps into the front garden, jogging up to him.

"Hey," he says, stunned that you actually came after him.

"Here," you hand him a piece of paper, "my number- if you wanna talk some time?"

He looks at the paper, then you, then the paper.

"Dude," JJ says, snapping him back to reality.

"Uh, yeah, yeah, that's great," he takes the paper putting in his pocket.

"You guys better split- Topper's just called Rafe and he's pissed."

"Shit," John B mumbles, "Yeah, we gotta go."

"Oh, wait," you stand up straight, stepping towards Pope and kissing him on the cheek, leaving him stunned. "For good luck- with your scholarship."

His scoffs, words unable to form as Topper and Kelce burst through the door.

"Shit!" John B shouts.

"Go! Go!" JJ's hands hit the floor as he scrambles away with Pope struggling to get his feet under him.

You can't help but chuckle under your breath as Kie, Pope, John B and JJ make a mad dash for it as Topper and Kelce book it after them.

"Pogues, eh?" You turn to see Sarah standing on the doorstep. "There's something about them, don't ya think?"

You smile, looking back into the darkness, hearing faint hollars and insults being thrown by the group.

"Yeah, there is."

Woo an OBX fic. Not my usual work but definitely still fun to write.

I hope you enjoyed :))

[runningmiller]

These kids are nuts Ch1

Summary:

You're a scholarship student at the best possible tech school. A run in with two troublesome kids and a bit too much compassion on your end dooms you to a fate of dealing with their bull. Might as well get some fun out of the situation. Slice of life, and your life happens to be really weird these days. Better get adjusting!

this has like 15 chapters, so I'll space out the cross posting for it more.

Living on your own for the first time can be jarring. The emptiness of the apartment and the intrusiveness of the neighbours to the depressing grey innards you were legally contracted not to change. All of this, you left behind for another day of lessons. Somehow, you had managed to score a scholarship to the beck tech school in the country. It had honestly surprised you, you were certain you only had the basics down and struggled with the more difficult aspects but according to the board who'd granted you entry they admired your dedication, and the fact that you applied at all instead of waiting to be scouted like more students. Apparently you show potential, and they're ready to help you bring it out. The odd thing is everything seemed easier than you'd expect from a high level education, simple and straightforward where you'd expect someone to need great skill and experience. You don't think of yourself as being an especially fast learner or anything like that so maybe they're just starting you on the easy stuff? It's hard to tell when you get so much praise for completing something it didn't occur to you was supposed to be impressive, if they're being sincere or patronizing. You walk by what appears to be a middle school with 'skool' on the front. You really hope these schools are as good as they're supposed to be. Well, even if they aren't, its not on your dollar. A group of kids yelling isn't unusual, and neither is the sight of multiple kids they're ganging up one.

You quickly move to dispel the group, hopefully giving the target an out, "Hey now, what's going on over here?"

The group pauses and turn to you before a girl pipes up "Who are you?" not wanting to admit to someone older what they were doing.

 You ignore the question, "go on, get to class or something, just break it up."

Another child sneers "Why should we?".

Both the kids and you know you can't actually do anything, but they don't know that you won't. With a cold look, you take a few deliberate steps towards the children. Before you could even make up some half baked threat, the group was running off, deciding this wasn't possibly worth the entertainment.

Turning your attention over to the kid, you see he's been left on the ground. You kneel down to him to check up on him, reaching for him, "hey-"

he shoots up, and you jump back in turn as he examines you suspiciously. His sudden energy is not his only shock quality. The boy looks sick, skin as green as it gets, lacking any semblance of a nose or ears. Besides the obvious there was something off about him that has you consciously restraining yourself from pulling away. There's a quality to him, like a small scratching at the back of your skull, annoying and bothersome but you can push through the day, still though, why is it there? 

"What do you want earth worm?" he accuses more than asked.

You sigh, get back to your feet and ask him the obligatory, "Are you okay?"

Suddenly he becomes very animated as he states "HA! Of course, it will take more than filthy dirt children to bring down the amazing ZIM". In that moment, you wish you'd had half the confidence real or fake, at his age.

You take a moment to introduce yourself. Why? Why not? "Well good, I'm ___-" but you're dismissed as the bell rings and, you assume Zim, turns from you, waving you away in the most snotty way you've ever seen someone act out side of TV.

"Yes, yes, stupid human but I must go" And he runs off to class. You stand there a moment, not quite absorbing the abrupt..... well everything that just happened really. 

Then run off to your own class, still a couple blocks away, barging into class huffing.

[limitlessscion]

[continued from]

peony : what would a ‘ happy life ’ look like in your muse’s eyes ?

The two and a half years of his childhood at Jujutsu High. He had been happy, truly happy, in a way he hadn't been until then and hasn't since. He can't imagine anything else that could ever compare, though that isn't something he dwells on. Perhaps if he'd put further thought into it he could imagine something else, but that's not something he's interested in doing.

rose : how much does your muse value other people ? do they wish to have many friends , lovers , and/or associates ? are they an easy person to love ?

Last point first: he is an incredibly hard person to love. His personality from the get-go is abrasive; he's rude, he's inconsiderate, he's amoral and he lacks empathy. He's ruthlessly honest (though this also manifests positively when he has a good opinion of you: he will let you know either way.) In his adulthood he's learned to tone things back and mask his behaviour around people he likes; it can still lean into annoying childishness but that tends to just be irritating rather than outright hostile and intimidating like he was as a child.

Satoru craves human connection even as he believes himself incapable of it. The most meaningful connections he has were all formed during his childhood years at school and nothing else has ever gotten close to that since; he does make some effort to stay in touch with Shoko and Kento, but it is strained by the trauma of their final months together at school and the distance of their respective jobs.

During his adult years Satoru does make half-hearted attempts at seeking a romantic partner, staying active in the dating scene, but nothing ever works out in default blog canon due to a variety of reasons.

salvia : is your muse possessive over people or things that matter a lot to them ? how do they express that possessiveness , or lack thereof ?

Ah, one of Satoru's (many) toxic traits, though it is rare to manifest due to the fact few people becomes important enough to him.

He can be cruelly casual about most people in his life, even those he likes and has formed a bond with; because they're flowers, they're inevitably going to wither after they bloom. They're something to protect, and to derive some happiness from, but not something to become overly attached to. He spent years working with and teaching Megumi, yet during the fight with Sukuna he'd entirely forgotten about the boy.

But then for those that truly get him, it fulfills an emotional need that once sated, he is unable to let go of. This doesn't show in blog canon as he never gets to truly experience that kind of relationship and simply learns to accept that deep sense of loneliness as an inevitable part of his existence. With blog canon, even losing Suguru in Premature Death he'd had the sense that Suguru wasn't truly capable of understanding him anymore with the distance that had grown between them.

But with saiakv's Suguru and strywoven's Kaen, the relationships that form becomes so fundamentally important to him that he is incapable of letting go. He refuses to live without them, and he can get extremely nasty and vicious towards things that would threaten their being together, both from external forces and strains within the relationship itself.

Once you've shown this man a true bond, you're simply not allowed to leave him. Satoru Gojo is a scary man to have obsessing over you.

willow : how does your muse handle sadness & depression ?

He doesn't!

Satoru processes things very quickly, and unconventionally. His emotional response often isn't typical and he can seem very unbothered by things that would normally affect people. Satoru doesn't outright display negative emotions much, a mixture from his training in handling his cursed energy output since he was extremely young, and the way he was taught not to as it would be a show of weakness.

Negative emotions are just another tool in Jujutsu sorcery after all, and rather than directly dwelling on it he often examines his emotions in a detached way and simply figure out a way to work with it. Things that would lead to feelings of sadness are often moments of failure in some way, and it engages Satoru into a deeply ingrained reflex to seek a solution and to patch the weakness that allowed it to happen in the first place.

[man-reading]

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

Book Review - A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

Fiction Book Review

22 Jul

It's difficult to know where to start with a review of 'A little life'. If you've read it, you'll know what I mean. It's the story of four graduates who move to New York to make their way in life. Willem is an aspiring actor; Malcolm wants to be an architect but finds his job unfulfilling; JB is talented and trying to break his way into the art world; and Jude, an ambitious, brilliant lawyer, but deeply troubled.

We follow their lives over the decades, as their relationship with each other changes. They come together, drift apart, fall in and out of love and deal with addiction. But it's Jude with his body damaged by injury and childhood trauma, who is the centre of the book, both for his friends and the reader. Can he overcome his demons?

That's about as much as I can say in terms of an overview.

Yanagihara

I bought this book at the Sun bookshop in pre-pandemic Melbourne, December 2019. I had a gift voucher, so picked this and a couple of others and dragged them back half across the world to Ireland. I can only think the sun and bushfire smoke must have affected my brain, because it must have pushed my luggage allowance close to the limit.

‘A little life’ has taunted me from my TBR bookshelf. I had heard about the subject matter, so kept putting it off until I was ready for it. Truth is, having read it, I don't think that time would ever have arisen. I did eventually read another Yanagihara book called ‘To Paradise’ which I found interesting, if a bit long, and decided this summer, with the sun arriving early in Ireland (as if that would help) I was going to tackle this 700-page door stopper.

Word of warning - this book contains descriptions of abuse, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. If you're not in a good place mentally, I wouldn't be reading this book.

Immersive

Initially, I found this book completely immersive. It doesn't happen so often to me these days, but one afternoon, I think around the 200-page mark, I realised I'd read for an hour and barely stirred. There it is, I thought, that’s the book I've been hearing so much about it.

But this was soon to change. I think this is a great book if you have a fitness tracker, as increasingly I had to put this book down and go for a walk. Sometimes into another room, sometimes out of the house and into the local park.

There are a lot of disturbing scenes and thoughts in this book. It was a challenge for me to lift it from around the 500-page mark, and there were times I could only manage a few pages. But of course, I was so invested in the characters of Jude and Willem that I was never going to walk away from the book. The characters are so rich and detailed, the prose is clean and evocative, and the storytelling and structure keep you engaged.

Jude St. Francis

I found it hard to imagine Jude's character. For some unknown reason, he became in my head Rami Malek's character 'Louis Dega' from the film 'Papillion'. Even when he was described slightly differently, it was too late. I think the lack of details from Hanya Yanagihara was deliberate - the reader had to compose their own Jude.

I liked how Yanaghira paced the book - the story of Jude's childhood is told incrementally, interspersed with a matter-of-fact narration of his life in New York. It's not dumped on you all at once.

For all the pain and trauma in the book, I think it's important to highlight the love and kindness shown to Jude by Willem, Harold, Andy, and others.

It asks the big questions - how much can a person take? Can someone be saved if they don't want to be and if they have suffered so much? Can you truly shield yourself through your money and career? And is love and friendship enough?

Polarising

Of all the books I've read and reviewed, I've never been more on the fence than I have with this one. On the one hand, it felt incredibly depressing and bleak at times, much too long and depressing ( I realise I said that twice).

On the other hand, parts of it, especially the initial sections, are completely immersive and it has a lot to say about the importance of love, of art, of friendship. And it will most likely break your heart a little, get under your skin, and I think that's a good thing too.

It's a book that has polarised opinion and I can see why. I am glad I read it and it's not taunting me from my bookshelf. I will never forget the character of Jude St. Francis, and I'm glad that this book challenged me - I think that's a good thing.

I think I would have to know you well before I could recommend this - only you know if you'd be able for it. Incidentally, reading it in an Irish summer didn't help, as the weather soon turned to shit.

If you've read it, please let me know below - I think I need to talk to someone after reading 'A little life'.

720 pages, Hardcover

Published March 10, 2015 by Doubleday

Amazon UKAmazon US

Hanya Yanagihara talks about ‘A little life’.

A Little Life Quotes

“You won’t understand what I mean now, but someday you will: the only trick of friendship, I think, is to find people who are better than you are—not smarter, not cooler, but kinder, and more generous, and more forgiving—and then to appreciate them for what they can teach you, and to try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself, no matter how bad—or good—it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. But the best, as well.”

“….things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.”

“Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was two people who remained together, day after day, bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified.”

“Who am I? Who am I?” “You’re Jude St. Francis. You are my oldest, dearest friend. You’re the son of Harold Stein and Julia Altman. You’re the friend of Malcolm Irvine, of Jean-Baptiste Marion, of Richard Goldfarb, of Andy Contractor, of Lucien Voigt, of Citizen van Straaten, of Rhodes Arrowsmith, of Elijah Kozma, of Phaedra de los Santos, of the Henry Youngs. You’re a New Yorker. You live in SoHo. You volunteer for an arts organization; you volunteer for a food kitchen. You’re a swimmer. You’re a baker. You’re a cook. You’re a reader. You have a beautiful voice, though you never sing anymore. You’re an excellent pianist. You’re an art collector. You write me lovely messages when I’m away. You’re patient. You’re generous. You’re the best listener I know. You’re the smartest person I know, in every way. You’re the bravest person I know, in every way. You’re a lawyer. You’re the chair of the litigation department at Rosen Pritchard and Klein. You love your job; you work hard at it. You’re a mathematician. You’re a logician. You’ve tried to teach me, again and again. You were treated horribly. You came out on the other end. You were always you.” "And who are you?" "I'm Willem Ragnarsson. And I will never let you go.”

“He had looked at Jude, then, and had felt that same sensation he sometimes did when he thought, really thought of Jude and what his life had been: a sadness, he might have called it, but it wasn't a pitying sadness; it was a larger sadness, one that seemed to encompass all the poor striving people, the billions he didn't know, all living their lives, a sadness that mingled with a wonder and awe at how hard humans everywhere tried to live, even when their days were so very difficult, even when their circumstances were so wretched. Life is so sad, he would think in those moments. It's so sad, and yet we all do it.”

“Harold sighs. “Jude,” he says, “there’s not an expiration date on needing help, or needing people. You don’t get to a certain age and it stops.”

literary fictionContemporaryLGBTMental Health

[al-the-remix]

🦷🌿🍅

🦷 share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on:

I hate to sound like a boomer, but there is no foul mood i've been in that hasn't been improved by going for a walk. Like yeah it won't cure your major depression, but being in the sun and looking at the birds will it will make living slightly more bearable for at least half an hour.

🌿 give some advice on writer's block and low creativity:

If you're struggling with writing (or pursuing any form of art) I think most people would benefit from doing their best to make it a habit instead of something you only do when you're ""feeling creative"". Give yourself a reachable daily goal and time limit but don't feel like you have to hit it and if you don't you've failed. The most important part is having a quiet moment to reflect on your writing with no distractions. This could be 50 words or 2000 words, half and hour or three hours, the most important part is making it manageable and adaptable as part of your daily routine. For instance if my goal is 2000k for the two hours i have to write in the morning if i hit that goal specifically that's great, but also if i've only written 50 words and maybe those words aren't even final prose, it doesn't matter because i've spent those two hours solving problems and learning more about my work. And i know if i do this every day there will be a day down the road where i'm really on a roll and end up writing over 2000 words and everything evens out in the end. The one exception I have to this is that if you've been working and working on something for a while now and what you previously written and loved now feels terrible and bland it probably means you need to step away for a bit and come back to your work later with fresh eyes. Allowing yourself a break can really help with solving problems, especially in the editing phase. The point is to not beat yourself up so much over "producing" or "not producing" that you end up burning yourself out. Instead try and make writing (or drawing or whatever) a sustainable and enjoyable part of your life.

🍅 give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing:

I definitely still struggle with my prose when it comes to deciding how much detail to include and when. But also self-critique is so hard because it's like the most subjective thing. I love details and I feel like sometimes I can get sucked into the spiral of "and then he did this and then he felt this and then his heart fluttered" but then when I try and self correct I get the newspaper roll to the head from @sevenfists for not applying enough emotional exposition. Or I'll think I'm failing at conveying the emotional elements of the story when actuality that parts fine and there is something else in there I could improve on. Really the best thing you can do is find someone you trust and who has similar opinions on what they need out of a narrative as you do, and let them to critique your work and beta read because they're going to have a much better objective eye than yourself, lol.

[devianttxrts]

yo ho hello. under the cut is a little explanation of my absence from here and what's been going on with me (fun times)

my mental health hit a downward spiral mid/late last year and it hit it hard. it's the worst my depression has been in a long, long time. it got to the point where i couldn't feel things properly, the only thing i could feel is sadness and the only thing i could do is cry even when i didn't know why. but over the last month or so it's slowly been getting better, music has been helping again and i can actually laugh now. if that's not progress i don't know what is.

last november i was in a car accident, it wasn't super bad. the car was a write off but no one was seriously hurt. i had a wicked concussion for two weeks, and i'm still dealing with anxiety whenever i'm in a car (to be expected after you've been hit by an asshole who was in your lane instead of theirs, and hidden by one of the many corners on the way home).

there's been a lot of ups and downs over the last few months, or year really. i've had to say goodbye to a few relationships i never thought i would, and one that should've been a strong one but never really existed at all. i'm still dealing with ongoing neighbour drama too, which has been the cherry on top. i'm also trying to find a new job because shit has nonstop been hitting the fan in the hell hole i work at for months now, i've been there over eight and a half years and while it's definitely been a rollercoaster over that time, this is the worst it's ever been (if you live in nz/aus... try not to shop at cuntdown/woolworth$ challenge).

i'm hoping to slowly get back into writing, most likely this week. it might be a little slow because i'm in the long process of doing my house up (i've still got two bedrooms and the laundry to paint before i can get the flooring and bathroom done). slow and steady wins the race, so i'll be balancing that/general life and writing.

in saying that, if i reply to a thread we have and you aren't feeling it anymore, absolutely feel free not to reply! it's been a long time so it's more than fair enough tbh, i get it!

here's to a year of better activity, i'm looking forward to being on the dash again 🌈

[lunarfly-studios]

Mistletoe #2 for Kit

okay for some reason it's not letting me just copy/paste text so here

OKAY So I'm assuming this is for BMFM!Kit since that's the most recent one I've been posting about lately.

Short Answer: Yes.

Long Answer: It depends on your definition of 'friends'.

Lets be clear: In the universe of BMFM, after the stars and the planets aligned to work out a certain way, she became a billionaire overnight at age 20/21 with no warning. She already didn't really have friends before all this, except maybe for one (that I might need to design), and she wasn't anyone's favorite 'quiet art kid' in high school. After acquiring that much wealth, she had even fewer fans.

Because of A. Her circumstances helping to care for a very large family, B. Her own insecurity, and C. Her crippling anxiety and depression, even before she became rich, she was already extremely isolated and had little to no social life.

You would think after becoming rich, she'd have a million friends, ro at least acquaintances, but other than her household staff she inherited, she actually became even more isolated because she couldn't live with her family anymore. She had to relocate to a place she'd never been to, where she didn't know anyone. And the idea of trying to go out and make friends so soon after leaving the nest absolutely terrified her.

And fun fact about Kit: She's half Venusian, and Venusians can read minds. She tries not to because it's rude, but she's acutely aware of when people are genuinely being nice to her, kissing her ass for status or wealth, or kissing her ass out of fear of reprisal, and early on, it was almost consistently the latter two.

And that's not even getting into the fact that she has autism and ADHD, which can already make socializing and making friends hard.

It took her a while to take control of her estate, her company, and her life, but once she did, once she was more secure in her position in the company, her role in society, and the control and autonomy she had over her life, she very quickly became a social butterfly (no pun intended).

One of the things that's kept her as CEO this long, minus her sincere success, is her charm and charisma. She can get a read on what type of person someone is pretty quickly, whether by reading their mind or just studying their behavior. Cater to their interests and you've got anything from a friend to an acquaintance to an ally to a business colleague.

Of course only a handful of these actually qualify as 'friends'. There are a handful of other CEOs she's met that she just really hit it off with, but they were few and far between. A lot of wealthy elite businessmen and politicians are kinda passive aggressive towards her cause she has the audacity to not like it when her employees are living off food stamps.

She gets along very well with people in the media and culinary industries, though, mostly because they can sincerely connect over those passions.

The only people she could really consider CLOSE friends would be the three Biker Mice, Charley, Sisi, Li, Anastasia and Sabrina (that pre-rich friend i mentioned earlier that i need to design lol).

She's extremely good at building business connections and socializing with others, as draining as it is, but forging and maintaining strong, close connections is still like navigating a minefield for her. She's been burned by past friends and people she had crushes on in the past, so even after coming to like and trust most of these people, with the exception of Li and Sabrina, she keeps everyone at a certain emotional-arm's-length so to speak.

Fun to be around, kind, supportive, willing to listen and always wanting to help out? Absolutely. Letting someone close, letting others see her vulnerability, showing weakness around others, opening up to others... that's a rougher challenge.

In spite of the fact that she rationally knows all these people like her, deep down, she spends a good chunk of Season 1's episodes fully believing that her friends secretly resent her for her wealth and influence, and are just being nice about it. She's generally on edge, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It does after a while, but once that shoe drops and she gets assurance that "No, we don't hate you, you're a wonderful person and we love you", she slowly starts letting herself be vulnerable and opening up to others.

Maintaining relationships is hard for her, but she's grateful to find people who are willing to be patient and help her feel comfortable and safe.

...That said, she will absolutely crush anyone in 'biggest burp contests' even after just meeting them, she grew up in the south in a family of 14, you had to assert your dominance sOMEHOW.

[krastbannert]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Alright, let's see here.

Brave Soldier Girl - I absolutely adore this fic, so much. Even if it's hard to write, even if most people who've read it seem to not like it or think it's unrealistic or whatever, even if I went the a more depressing direction at first (which would have, in its own right, been an amazing, glorious trainwreck). I think this story has some of my best ideas and some of my best writing, ever, and even if I haven't worked on it in a while, I'm still immensely proud of it, and I will finish it, even if it takes me a decade to do it.

Go For Broke - At the time I wrote it, this was my second longest fic I'd ever written, and I believe it's still the longest story I've ever completed. And you know what? It's not perfect - there's definitely places where I could have had better writing, better word choice, better characterization. But I didn't write it to be perfect, I wrote it to tell the story of one version of Kanto, in a way that honored a man who was willing to give his life in the greatest cause of all: that others may live. And you know what? I'm damn fucking proud of the result. I wrote the entire thing in about two weeks, and it came out a hundred times better than it had reason to, and I love it still. It's one fic that I will always and forever be proud of.

Sins of the Past - It only has one chapter, but it has characters and a world that I created, entirely on my own, over the course of multiple years. Yeah, sure, it has what will probably turn out to be a rather average plot, but you know what? I don't care. It's a plot and a world that I built from nothing, all on my own. And I will never, ever give up on that being something special.

Sunrise - A slight trip on the wild side, this is actually a Tron: Legacy fanfic. Yes, that Tron, as in the sequel to the not-great-but-actually-amazing 1982 film that helped revolutionize computer generated imagery. It's only a shade over 500 words, but I literally had to write a sunrise from the perspective of someone who'd never seen or felt one - and I actually fucking did it. It worked. How can I not be insanely proud of that?

to die clean - Another very short fic, this one from the Horizon fandom. I feel like this fic, honestly, had more meaning put into it than most I've written, and it's maybe half the length of most of my other stories. And I feel like I gave a lot of depth to a character who, in my opinion, didn't get half the depth and thought she really deserved. I want to write more, and I need to write more, because this fic is one of my shortest - but I think it's also one of my best.