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t0t4lly-n0t-z4hw4 · 2 years

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Jendralkhan's TICKLISH!?

Summary : Twitch & Spike was driving the ship. But suddenly, they hit a sea weed forest! The ship was stuck in a whole friggin' forest on sea weeds, and so was Jendralkhan. Jendralkhan was also now tied but the sea weeds and somehow was tied with his arms up. Jendralkhan scolds Spike & Twitch for being way too clumsy. Spike & Twitch had enough of Jendralkhan scolding & yealling at them all the time. So they decided to teach Jendralkhan a lesson in a torturously ambaressing, yet funny & cute way while giving Paddle Pop, Liona, & Magus an interestingly unsual, unexpected, & cute fact about Jendralkhan...

Oh look who it is... AZ FINALLY made a Fic after AGES!!! But anyways, back to the point : I've been over OBSESSED with Paddle Pop rn- And i'm highlighting one of the Characters from one of Paddle Pop's Movies Atlantos, Jendralkhan. Yes, Jendralkhan. I'm so obsessed with him. And i went "Aha. Ykw? Honk it. I'mma make a whole Fic/Drabble with Lee!Jendralkhan!". And now here we are. Anyways, i hope y'all Paddle Pop Lovers & Jendralkhan simps enjoy!

Y'all Paddle Pop & Tickling enjoyers had/got Paddle Pop Tickle HDCs. Now, it's time for y'all to get my firts ever Paddle Pop Tickle Fic!

Ps. I'll be honest, i'm way too flustered to even write this (´ ͡༎ຶ ͜ʖ ͡༎ຶ `)

TW : Tickles, Language

Character(s) [PINK : LEE|BLUE : LER|GREEN : BG] : Jendralkhan, Remora, Paddle Pop, Spike, Twitch, Liona, Magus, & Shadow Master.

"Haha! Witness the world's greatest captain! Captain Twitch!" Twitch declared as he held the steering wheel of the Pheonix Ship.

"What about me?" Spike asked. "Hm?" Twitch turned his head towards Spike in reply. "What do you to be then?" Twitch asked back "I'm the captain, and what do want to be?". "I want to be the captain too!" Spike said, "Hm... What about this : I'm the captain, and you're the co-captain?" Twitch offered the role. "Huh? Co-captain? But i wanna be the captain too!" Spike said, not wanting Twitch's offer. "Yea, yea, you ARE still a captain! But you're a co-captain!" Twitch replied. "What's a co-captain?" Spike asked, "A co-captain is a captain who replaced the main captain incase if the main captain is busy." Twitch explained. "Oh... Ok then!" Spike replied back.

"Now, Witness the world's greatest captain, Captain Twitch and his co-captain, Co-Captain Spike!" Twitch declared once again, adding Spike to his team.

"Watch out. There's a sea weed forest ahead. Be careful." Jendralkhan warned Twi- eh, the World's greatest Captain, Captain Twitch.

"Ah, no need to worry, Jendralkhan! After all, you're here with the World's Greatest captain, Captain Twitch! And his Co-Captain, Co-Captain Spike!" Twitch replied, "Yeah! No need to worry JendrAAAAAA!" Spike replied. But Spike's sentence was cut off as soon as Spike spotted the sea weed forest ahead.

"What the- WAAAAAA WATCH OUT!!" Twitch SCREAMED as he looked where Spike just looked at. "Wha- GAH!"

Meanwhile...

Magus was teaching something to Paddle Pop & Liona. They had a cup of water on their hands while standing with one leg.

"WhooOOOoaa... What's happened there?" Paddle Pop asked, some words in his speech was shaking due to Captain Twitch made the whole ship shook when he took a turn. "Ugh, if only Twitch could take a turn without shaking the whole ship" Liona said, rolling her eyes.

"Twitch and Spike needed to learn how to ride a ship a bit more" Paddle Pop said. "Whoa!" Paddle Pop said, when the ship shook. AGAIN. "Haha! Maybe you're right, Liona" Paddle Pop said, now agreeing with Liona.

"They maybe haven't really have some experience on driving, but they have some other experiences" Magus said. "They are always playing. But they are friendly, brave, and kind!" Paddle Pop added. "If they had different experiences and use them together, they could be very powerful & strong!" Magus said. "But for sure they'll always needed to be watched 24/7" Liona scoffs.

But then...

BANG!!

"WHOAH!" Everyone screamed at the loud bang. And everyone even fell to the ground as the ship hitted something!

"Eugh... Wh... What happened..?" Liona asked, getting off the ground and helping Paddle Pop & Magus get off the ground. "Eugh... W- we might've hit something" Paddle Pop replied. "Uh... But what did we just hit though?" Magus asked. "Let's Go check on them!" Liona commanded.

Liona opened the door, and see how's Twitch & Spike been doing. "What in the world has happened here!?" Liona asked, looking around in shock as she saw around the ship covered in sea weeds. Liona gasped as she saw Jendralkhan got tied by a sea weed with somehow his arms up! "Oh my gohosh! Whahat happened toho yohohou, Jehendralkhahahan?" Liona laughed upon seeing Jendralkhan tide up by a friggin' sea weed. A SEA WEED! "Grrraaagh! They- arrgh! They crushed into a forest of sea weeds!" Jendralkhan groaned, attempting to escape the sea weeds with no avail. "And please stop laughing at me!" Jendralkhan ordered. "Ohok, ok, ok, i wihill" Liona replied. "And you two!" Jendralkhan pointed to Spike & Twitch. "You two shouldn't be driving this ship!" Jendralkhan yelled at Spike & Twitch. "Huh!? But we didn't do anything at all!" Twitch said, "Yeah! What's wrong?" Spike asked, agreeing to what Twitch said. "Well, you should've been more careful whole driving! Thank goodnes we only drove into a sea weed forest! What if we drove into a coral!?" Jendralkhan continued, "You two are so overwhelming! Useless even!" Spike, Twitch, and the others gasped upon hearing what Jendralkhan said. "Jendralkhan! Don't say that! The-" Liona's sentence were cut off by Twitch saying "You know what!? Spike! Come with me! I wanna talk with you for a sec!" Twitch said, grabbing Spike by his hand "Whoa! O- ok then-" Spike replied as he was dragged by Twitch.

Later...

Spike & Twitch came back while exchanging smirks & tiny giggles. "Ugh, can someone please help me untie myself from these sea weeds?" Jendralkhan plead, Spike & Twitch whisper to eachother then went off to "help" Jendralkhan. "We can help!" Spike & Twitch said at the same time, "Huh? Y- you wil?" Jendralkhan asked, "Yeah!" Spike said, "But right after we test something!" Twitch said, squeezing Jendralkhan's sides. "Gah! W- what are you dohoing!?" Jendralkhan slid off a single giggle. "So you are!" Twitch said when their plan worked as planned. "It worked! I knew you Were!" Spike said. 'I'm what!?' Jendralkhan thought to himself, quite confused at what theJendralkhan about. 'Wait... WAIT... Don't tell me they're-! NO!' Jendralkhan thought once again, finally realizing what they're talking about. "Uhm, w- what are you talking about?" Jendralkhan asked, pretending to be confused to make sure that they are talking about something Jendralkhan thought they talked about. "Ticklish! You are ticklish!" Spike chirped. 'W- what!? No! T- they can't know about that! Plus, how in the world did they even know i AM ticklish!?' Jendralkhan thought, now really AM confused. "No... No way..." Magus mumbled with a grin, "Wohow! Jendralkhan's TICKLISH!?" Paddle Pop said, happy to find out a fact about Jendralkhan. "Now would you look at that? The strongest toughest knight of the ocean is TICKLISH~" Liona teased, finally had something to took advantage of. "What!? Ticklish!? N- no! I'm not t... Ticklish-!" Jendralkhan stuttered, it seems obvious that Jendralkhan was denying the truth. "Then why do you react when i do this~?" Twitch asked in a teasy tone, now scratching Jendralkhan's stomach. "Hmph- gahah! Hmhmhm-" Jendralkhan muffled his giggles, now the other are 100% sure that Jendralkhan was ticklish. "See!? SEE!? Jendralkhan just muffled a giggle!" Spike said, prooving Jendralkhan wrong. Twitch walked swimmed around the stuck Jendralkhan, and found a fin(Ihdk what's the fin thing behind a shark's back. Can someone tell me what is it?) behind Jendralkhan's back. 'Hmm... What if it was also ticklish?' Twitch thought, then scratching Jendralkhan's fin. "Gyah! Ahahahahahahahahaha-! Dahammihihihihit!" Jendralkhan laughed, and that was quite the laugh! "Whohoah! That was quite the laugh!" Paddle Pop said, fully amused with Jendralkhan's reactions "That was quite the laugh! Almost close ro a scream even!" Magus added, very much amused with Jendralkhan's reactions. Meanwhile, Liona grabbed a camera and recorded the WHOLE time Jendralkhan was being tickled!

"Well, well, well... If it isn't the tough knight of the ocean" Someone with a familar voice said, "Huh!? Remora!?" Jendralkhan revieled, "Of course it's me, Remora! Your bestfriend, and your advisor" Remora said, introducing himself. "Well, it seems like you're still ticklish as you used too" Remora said, making Jendralkhan blushed & groaned out of ambaressment. "Wait, you knew Jendralkhan was ticklish?" Paddle Pop asked, puzzled with Remora's sentence. "Of course i do! I'm his friend! Friends always knows their friend's secrets!" Remora replied, "And their sensitivity~" Remora contineud with a teasy tone. 'Well, since you guys wanted to tickle Jendralkhan, and i also kinda wanted to do it too, how abt i help you guys?" Remora offered, "Really!? You'll help us tickle him!?" Spike asked with excitement. "Well, not exactly tickle him- But i could guide you to where to tickle him! I know his weakness~" Remora answered back, making Jendralkhan's blush more brighter. "Remora, don't you dare tell them-!" Jendralkhan yelled, but only making Remora's smirk grew wider. "Oh what are you gonna do 'bout it huh? Tickle me to death?" Remora askes with a smug looking face. Jendralkhan could do nothing but groan out of frustration, embarresment, & anger. Remora only smiled with Jendralkhan's answer. "Anyways, light scratches gets him giggling," Remora said right before Jendralkhan gasped. "Raspberries kills him," Remora contineud, "And there's a certain technique that might make Jendralkhan purr~" Remora added, "REMORA! DON'T TELL THEM THAT!" Jendralkhan now really yelled. "Jendralkhan can PURR!?" Paddle Pop asked, clearly surprised. "Hah! Jendralkhan PURRS!? What is he? An underwater cat?" Liona mocked, very much amused and her camera still in her hand still recording the WHOLE scene. "Uhuh. Yes, Jendralkhan can purr~" Remora replied, "But he actually used to purr when his chin is scratched, idk if it still works since the last time we tickles eachother was AGES ago-" Remora added. "Ok, scratching Jendralkhan's chin would make him purr. Noted!" Twitch said with a sh1t-eating grin.

"I hate you so much Remora" Jendralkhan said with a frustrated tone. "Love ya too, friend!" Remora said with a teasy-ish tone. "Oh, and also, Jendralkhan loves being tickled~!" Remora said. The others literaly gasped hearing Remora's last sentence. "REMORA-!!!" Jendralkhan's sentence were cut off with embarrestment. "He does!?" Twitch and spike said at the same time. "Yes, he does!" Remora replied, "But again, i don't know if he still does since the last time i see him was ages ago-" Remora added.

Ok, Jendralkhan was very much DOOMED since his Ex-Friend exposed him but it's a good thing Remora exposed Jendralkhan😏.

Spike had a red fluffy feather in his hand and had an idea of his own. 'Hmm... Ykw? I'mma try this!' Spike thought to himself. Magus noticed Spike was holding the red fluffy feather, then Magus & Spike took a glance at eachother. Magus smiled to Spike and figured out what was Spike's plan with the red feather in Spike's grasps. Spike even smiled at Magus, then slid the feather across Jendralkhan's stomach.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! STAHAHAHAHAP! PLEHEHEHEHEASE!! HAHAHAVE MERCYHYHYHYHY!" Jendralkhan begged. Wow, it's only just 1 SINGLE feather, and he already started to beg for mercy AND lose his mind! "Welp, ok then, i guess it's time to stop!" Remora suggested, "Aww... Why can't i continue?" Spike pouted. "Because, have you noticed Jendralkhan haven't said 'Stop' the last minutes you tickled him till now?" Remora asked, "No?" Spike answered with a questioning tone, "Well, because like i said before, Jendralkhan enjoyed being tickled," Remora said, "But he only says "Stop" if the tickles are tiring him out or it's too much for him to handle" Remora added. "Ormaybehe'sjusttoembarresttoaskyoutocontinue" Remora added again, "What was that? Can you say it again?" Twitch asked, he couldn't clearly hear what Remora said since Remora said it to fast and quitely. "N- nothing. Nothing! Nothing at all!" Remora replied stutteteredly.

"GYAAAAHA!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOHOHOHO-!!" Jendralkhan howled! Literaly! "Whohoah! He just howled!" Paddle Pop said, smiling. "Whoa! Haha! I thought you said Jendralkhan PURRS, not HOWLS right?" Liona asked with a mocking tone. "Well, Jendralkhan can both purr and howl," Remora replied, "Oh! And did i forgot mention that Jendralkhan is hyper feather sensitive?" Remora asked. "Jendralkhan is very sensitive to feather touch?" Magus asked, he absolutely canNOT beilive that how can such an arrogant looking tough & strong knight could be so ticklish! Hyper feather sensitive even!

"GAHAHAHAHAHA!! FAHA- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!! FAHAHACK OHOHOHOHOFF!!" Jendralkhan laughed, throwing an F-Word right on his Ler's faces. Spike & Twitch gasped dramaticaly, "How DARE you say that word!" Spike & Twitch said at the same time. "SHUHUHUDDUHUHUP!!" Jendralkhan roared, laughing. "Or what?" Twitch asked with a sh1t-eating face. "OHOHOR-! GAHAHA-!" Jendralkhan said laughed. Jendralkhan almost ran out of words, so he only laughed. "OHOHOR I'LL TIUICKLE YOU TOHOHOO-!!" Jendralkhan contineud. "Uhuh, i'd like to see you try" Twitch said. "Yeah! And plus, our swimming suits are thicc enough to prevent any sensations!" Spike added an INcorrect fact. 'Oh, wait... OH WAIT... I forgot they needed swimming suits underwater! Oh god, they're alot more smarter than I thought they were-' Jendralkhan thought. "AHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHE-! WHYHYHY ARE YOU TIHIHICKLING MEHEHEHEHEHEHE!?" Jendralkhan asked. "Simple! It's because 1. You always underestamate me & Spike. 2. You always scold me & Spike. 3. We suddenly had the urge to tickle you. 4. We wanted to give a piece of our minds. And 5. We're BORED!" Twitch said, listing 5 reasons why he & Spike had the urge to tickle Jendralkhan. "AHAHAHA-! HAHAHA-! IHIHIHI'M SOHOHORRY!! IHIHIHIHIHI'M SOHOHOHOHORYHYHYHYHY!!" Jendralkhan apoligized. "Hm? Oh, you're apoligizing now?" Twitch asked. "Well then, there's only 1 way that we can accept your apoligy" Spike answered. "WHAHAT IHIS IT THEHEHEN!?" Jendralkhan asked about Spike's answer. "And that is..." Twitch said. "Laugh, laugh, LAUGH!!!" Twitch & Spike said at the same time, continuing Twitch's last sentence. 'Uh oh... I'm doomed...' Jendralkhan thought to himslef. Now he really IS doomed!

A little while or 5 Minutes later...

"Aww man... I still wanna hear Jendralkhan's laughs..!" Spike & Twitch pouted at the same time. "No need to worry Spike, Twitch!" Liona said, "I already recorded the WHOLE scene of Jendralkhan getting tickled!" Liona chirped with innocence. "WHAT!?" Everyone asked at the same time. "You heard me! I recorded the WHOLE time Jendralkhan getting tickled!" Liona repeated herself once again. "Why would you do that, Liona!?" Jendralkhan asked, "Idk, i just wanna record it! Maybe it could be useful something" Liona chirped replying to Jendralkhan. "Like what!?" Jendralkhan asked about Liona's reply. "Like, for prove that your ARE ticklish?" Liona responded with a sh1t-eating face. "Ok, ok, shut up you two!" Remora said while helping Jendralkhan untangle from the sea weeds. "T- thank's Remora" Jendralkhan stuttered. "You're welcome!" Remora replied. "Guys- I forgot to turn off my camera- so umm- I kiiiiiiindaa recorded Jendralkhan was raspberried & purring-" Liona stuttered. "I knew you Were" Jendralkhan said, giving on telling Liona to stop recording. "Also, Liona- I recommend you showing your recordings to Dewan Laut" Remora suggested. "Remora, you're a villain, and I don't thing I should listen to what villains say," Liona said, "Aww..." Remora pouted, "But I would listen to what you say for this once only!" Liona said in reply, "Yas!" Remora said to himself. "NO!! PLEASE DON'T!!" Jendralkhan begged Liona to not show the recording to Dewan laut. "Yes! Please yes!" Liona mocked, she REALLY wanted to show her recording to Dewan Laut, and so was Remora, but Jendralkhan had the opposite opinion than Liona & Remora's opinion.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"NO!!!"

"YES!!! YES YES YES!!!"

"NO!!! NO NO N-

Ok, let's just cut Liona & Remora VS. Jendralkhan's right, cuz it's just like me and my cousin's right when all of us wanted the same object but there're only one available object that we want-

Spike & Twitch got back into the ship, and Jendralkhan got back to his composure. They all said good bye to Remora, then went off to go where they need to go.

But... There's only 1 single thing they forgot about. And that is... Remora is the villain...

Meanwhile, With Shadow Master...

"Wait, I'm one of the villains! Why did I let them get away when their right in front my face! WOY, GET BACK HERE YOU D4MN LIONS-!!"

And at the end, Liona ended up sending showing Dewan Laut her recording of Jendralkhan getting tickled. The WHOLE Dewan Laut was in Awe of Jendralkhan getting tickled, they think it's so cute! Some of the Knights of Dewan Laut got some nostalgic memories of them & Jendralkhan as a kid.

"Hm... Remora, you're an idiot! But hey, atleast I get to know Jendralkhan's weakness..."

Fin~

#Zahwa Talks #Zahwa's Stories #Paddle Pop #Paddle Pop Atlantos 2 #Paddle Pop Tickles

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the-rockit · 3 months

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more self lore

like most people, i have written rpf(real person fiction) before. I, myself, personally do not like it anymore but that's not the point of this post. I almost forgotten but I wrote I believe only like one fic of rpf surprisingly, alllll the way back in October of 2018 when I was just 11 years old(god damn). Anyways but it's...kinda weirdly in character(at least from their online personas)?? from what i remember anyways. so here it is, it's called cutie~, a Leafyishere x Pryocynical fic with the accompanying image(btw copying this from my Wattpad so ye)

Hope you like the artwork above you and hope you enjoy this story.

Pyrocynical's pov

I moved to Utah to see Calvin. I had seen pictures of him in his videos and even talked to him. On youtube it would be staged as a fight(because we both needed views especially Calvin considering he hasn't posted anything in 9 months) but in real life the only reason I wanted to go is to tell Calvin this secret I've been having for the longest time. That I loved Calvin. ~Time skip to where Pyro is in Utah~ My plane just landed and I got off the plane. I get out my phone and type 'where does Leafy live?' It pops up and I walk to his house. I take a deep breath and become ready to tell him.

Calvin's pov

I sit around in my dinosaur costume, with my Obey hat, the all seeing eye on my tail, and weed in my nose(yes they are there personas). I hear a knock at my door. It must be Pyro so we can stage a fight,I thought. I open the door. There was nobody there but a letter. Huh weird, I thought. It was a letter from Pyro? Interesting that there is no address on this letter and it's not in an envelope . So that means he flew all the way to Utah just to hand me a letter? Why not ship it?Especially since I can't see his face so we can't talk about the letter and stuff.I pick up the note and take it back inside my house. I'm still wondering why he didn't just ship it. Maybe he wanted to stage a fight and then he had a family issue so he just sent a letter to explain that? Unlikely. Whatever is in this letter better be not shipped to Keemstar so he can make it drama where it really isn't. Hopefully this letter is not about ships(haha get it because this is inside a ship book this is so unfunny it's not even funny). Anyways I look around making sure nobody is around. I'm still kinda worried that someone will flim this and use it againest me. I turn the note around and it has a heart sealing it? I blush a light pink. Wait... does that mean...? N-no it just must be the only sticker he had left to seal it with! Yeah! Yeah... totally... My mind was running on what was in this letter and what it meant that was inside this letter. I feel around the letter and there is a heart-shaped candy that says'be mine.' I blush a darker pink. I must be the only candy he had...right...? I finally open the letter my claws. This is what the letter said,'Hello this is Pyro. You know that lesbian on the internet. Well fun fact I'm actually a male. Yay. Anyways that's not the only thing I decided to write this note for.' I stopped reading for a moment and mumbled, in a sarcastic voice,"Yeah why else would you fly to Utah and drop a letter with candy and a heart?" I kept reading and it said'The real reason I wrote this letter is to tell you that I love you. I have and I always will. That felt good. Anyways but yeah I did fly all the way to Utah because that's how much I love you. Even if it was a stupid note and you'll probably reject me anyways.

Your gay friend,

Pyro'

I blush a bright red after reading all that. I knew I felt the same way but I have no idea where he is now. I go outside and turn the corner to see Pyro crying? I sit next to him and asked"Why are you crying?" He said" B-because I know it was st-stupid to ever believe that you'll l-love me..." I hugged him around the waist and said"Pyro that's not true I do love you." We both blushed hard pink. Pyro grabbed my chin from his waist and brought it up to his face and asked"Really?" I said"Yes~" and kissed him. We both were blushing hard red. I pulled away and Pyro asked"What are we going to do about the clickbait?" I said"We don't need that anymore. We can start a youtube channel. Together. You can choose the name." Pyro thought for a moment and said"2 gay little lesbians." I chuckled and said"As long as you don't stop loving me,sure" Pyro said"I promise." We went inside my house and cuddled until we went to sleep.

I love this ship a lot hope you do too.

Peace out homesicles!

This was on deviantart,seen here: https://www.deviantart.com/lilcuppy2/art/Pyrocynical-x-Leafyishere-fanfiction-767916777

~Cupcakecatcream

😸

Word count: 787

#leafyishere #pryocynical #youtuber rpf #youtuber fandom #youtuber fanfic #2018 #2018-core #self lore

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chelleztjs18 · 1 year

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Hello you mrs. sandwich eater organizer lefty eyebag 😅

I am good today, doing laundry. How are you?

Yes, that's how I imagined Nat and Yelena too! I think that's why I don't read much Nat x R together because I see them more as just best friends, siblings or even roommates. But definitely like a devils advocate to R hahaha then with Yelena, same thing. Like best friends since birth, ride or die, can't get rid of.

Don't get me started on that sexual tension stuff that you write about R and Wanda hahaha I get all giddy and then angry because they're so stubborn! And you wrote the details so good, I think one time I got mad at you because you were toying with my emotions 🤣 all is forgiven though lol

So do you bring snacks on the plane?

Also, why of all places, did you guys choose to move to Oklahoma?

Correct, that's how I am. I'm glad that the people I was with before didn't complain about it. But at the same time, I wonder if they regret not getting much sex.

Nah, you made my eye roll, so now I can't see because of how far back it rolled ahahahaha okay, if you can guess what meal wins my heart instantly, then you win.

There was this studio that had brick walls. I was going for that kind of look, but someone took the space before me. I am the same way, I have a lot of paintings on my wall. It used to be a lot of dark paintings (my ex loves Halloween or spooky season) but since she took all that, I decided to hang the artworks I've done over the summer time.

When I build or buy my own house, I want to have a dark room to be able to do photography again. It's been my dream to have a small den where half of it is where I can paint, thne the other half is where I can develop photos.

That's a good idea, have the less used item on the bottom shelf. Cause in my place, it only comes with one cabinet for the pantry, its a tall cabinet too. Then the usual shelves for plates and cups. I hate that it's a small kitchen, but I like it at the same time lol

That's cute, a little signature 🤣 please tell me you can do a British impression?

Do you have a weakness?

-CuriousGeorge

hello you certain chip eater in a flatten sandwich righty eyebag! I'm back. sorry for the late answer. i hope u r still awake.

my day got a bit busy today. i did some laundry n fold some of them. :)

Ah i see. i like reading Natasha as the love interest..but Kate and Yelena, i dont really read them as love interest. plus i havent got the chance to read more. if i read more maybe i can change my mind about it.

hahaha to be honest, i actually laughed when i read ur comments here about the Ten Days and the sexual tensions. lol. which part in it that got u "angry"? hahaha. well, be prepare for that in the next chapters of Ten Days :D

Aaww really? i'm glad u enjoy it. it reallly made u feel giddy n then angry? thats good! that was kinda what i was trying to do :P for people have that emoitonal roller coaster but in a funny way n some jokes in it. i just love to put funny part in my fluff. :D

have u read my christmas fic with wanda n the maximoffs twin boys? "the best christmas" i think. haha. there is a joke n funny scene that i am low key proud of it. lol.

nah, not really. i mostly just get some water, iced tea or iced coffee when i fly.

we moved to Oklahoma because he got a job in a biggest weed farm in Oklahoma. :D

well, past is past. If they didn't complain about it, it means that it wasnt the main problem n it doesnt bother them. n don't feel bad about it. understanding in relationship is mutual. plus u told me that u dont mind with it to make them feel good n loved. So you've done ur best and didnt do anything wrong. :) i hope i make u feel a bit better? :D

hmmm whats ur favorite food or meals that wins ur heart. how about italian? something like pasta? did i guess it right? hahaha

dark paintings? something like what? like scary pictures? ouh i love how brick walls look like. that would be nice if u can get the brick studio. sometimes i imagine how it feels if i live in a penthouse a brick and minimalist rustic vibe or theme. industrial theme is nice too.

dark room? isnt it for printing photos in an old way? photographers nowadays still do that?

if i build my own house i want one movie theater room with a very good quality surround sound with cozy couch and full bar. hahaha. so i can enjoy movies and listening to music or watch concerts videos with good quality sound. n i want a nice large kitchen complete with anything u can think of to help u cook with a nice huge walk in pantry. hahaha.

yeah, i understand what u meant with ur cabinet n pantry size. but so far right now it's only u, so it wouldnt be needed to stock bunch of stuff :)

haha yeah my signature. n no i cant do brits impression. i wish i could speak in british accent though.

weakness? i'm a little confuse with what u meant. if i answer praises n compliments, are they what u meant?my other answer probably soft touches, because it's my love language.

or did u mean weakness as in my negative traits (which is sound like a job interview) lol

next questions?

Cheerio!

#chellez answers #ask answered #anon answered #curious george anon

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daughterofthereaper02 · 2 years

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I wish you would write a fic where the reader is a fan of the Sims 4 and plays all night long, tries to create whole team 😂

I LOVE this game. Yesterday I made my best friend and her boyfriend, then they got married. It was so funny, I was sending some weeding dresses to download for their wedding 😂😂 Even if I get older, I won't stop enjoying this game <3

Haha! While I probably won't write a blurb for this I may include it in a story as a detail when I do one with memories. That's cute!

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pumpkinpaix · 3 years

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on translation (again), 知己, "soulmates", danmei, and cdrama subtitling

aka, cyan wanders off into the weeds and lies down to be swallowed by the earth because whatever.

almost two months ago, i made a brief impromptu salt post after encountering something frustrating at the end of a long day. i didn't actually want to have a conversation about it, but then everyone kept talking in the replies and i said fuck it and wrote like 7k words in an emotional frenzy before shoving it into my drafts because i couldn't stand to look at it anymore. but hey, i came back to it and did my best with whatever the fuck this ended up being, so here, have the full avalanche of only marginally organized thoughts. take it or leave it.

if you're new here, you may want to read my last big post on translation. there are two other posts linked at the beginning of that one which provide context. they will (hopefully) give you some idea of where I stand when it comes to translation as an art/practice if you don't already know.

i am also going to be blunt: those posts were made over half a year ago and i had a LOT more patience to spare back then for anglophone cdrama/danmei fandom. these days, i can't even browse fic for five minutes without losing my temper, so like. you know. fair warning, I am still trying to be kind, but I hit my breaking point sometime back in 2020 my dudes.

if you're still with me, cheers to u mate let's go

basically: at this moment in time, I despise "soulmates" as a translation for 知己 in the contexts of english subtitles for danmei live-action adaptations. when CQL first came out, I was neutral-critical of the translation--it wasn't what I would have chosen, but I understood why the choice was made, and it was tolerable to me in most cases. there are even certain situations where I still think it makes fairly good sense, ignoring metatextual concerns. however, approximately *checks notes* two years later and after the entrance of SHL onto the anglophone danmei cdrama fandom scene, I've revised that opinion to no, actually "soulmates" is bad and i hate it, specifically for how it's been picked up and misconstrued in anglophone fandom spaces and the consequences thereof. i swear to GOD if i had KNOWN how much psychic damage I was going to take because of this translation choice, I would have salted and burned the earth under it at the outset!!!! hindsight is 20/20 (ha) or whatever!!!

i know that that's a controversial take, but if you wanna hear me out, i shall continue forthwith beneath the cut

anglophone fandom goes fucking wild for 知己, from "omg and they were soulmates" jokes to screaming about netflix's summary for the untamed:

In a magical world of inter-clan rivalry, two soulmates face treacherous schemes and uncover a dark mystery linked to a tragic event in the past.

not gonna lie it was only funny the first few times haha yes indeed these two omg ~soulmates~ how did they get this past censorship etc etc. but now? i just find it aggravating. on particularly bad days, i have to put the internet down gently or I'll start crying.

look. i get it. there is a delight in seeing what feels like a daring flaunt of government restrictions, especially when it's something close to your heart, something close to your personhood. get wrecked, wangxian too gay for the censors etc. we cannot be suppressed. or, perhaps in more familiar terms, "we're here, we're queer, get used to it."

there's a flavor to the way a lot of these offhand comments and jokes about gay couples somehow "getting through" censorship in BL cdramas that makes me flinch when I see them. it's hard to pinpoint and describe--but maybe it's the lack of fear. chinese governmental censorship of the media is. not a joke, you know? there can be severe consequences for crossing the state. do you remember the case of tianyi? do you remember the disappearance of fan bingbing? do you remember li wenliang?

do you remember this post?

what troubles me about 知己 and "soulmates" in particular is how it's often held up as some kind of evidence of how brazen and cheeky the media in question is being--to the point where sometimes people will claim or imply that translating 知己 as anything other than "soulmates" is somehow queer erasure. that 知己 in the contexts of both CQL and SHL carried explicit romantic intent and to not encode that romantic tone within the english translation/subtitle would be, idk, the equivalent of calling wangxian and wenzhou galpals or whatever.

im. okay. im gonna be real with you right now. this just isn't fucking true. moreover, i find this kind of attitude to be such a shallow, one-dimensional approach to the politics of queerness in text, especially in the contexts we're dealing with here. this kind of rhetoric runs adjacent to painfully recent, american-centric chronically online discussions on representation and visibility in pop culture/media that I often find lack complexity and compassion. it feels intensely tied to the american culture of gay pride, the notion that being loudly, explicitly out is the best or only way to embody queer progress and that to do otherwise is, on some level, a betrayal. this isn't even a new conversation. here's a piece that appeared in salon from 1999 in which the author talks about his own misgivings about the culture and focus on pride. it's dated, certainly, but i can't pretend i'm not like. kinda depressed about the fact that so many of his points feel acutely relevant to me, almost exactly 22 years later.

you cannot measure chinese media with the same standards you might measure US (or UK or whatever) media because they are produced within very different cultural, political and historical contexts. being queer in the US or being POC in the US does not automatically give you a privileged understanding of the issues that surround the chinese media industry! i am fucking chinese-american and i had to do a lot of fucking personal work just to understand what little I do right now because it would be ridiculous to say that my heritage somehow gives me perfect access to the whole picture.

i don't. usually like to talk about my academic qualifications--most of the time I see people flexing on that front, I remain highly suspicious because well. look, I also have a college degree in Something Or Other and i was Not Impressed with like 80% of my peers. i know exactly how little you need to do to get a degree at a good, private university in the states. but I think it's tangential to my point, so: I come from an academic background that gave me access to a lot of knowledge and modes of thought which make me uniquely suited to talking about these sorts of subjects, and despite all of that, i still don't feel comfortable outright passing judgment on the majority of issues surrounding danmei fandom/media/etc. it fucking boggles my mind that there are some of you out here really trying to position yourselves as moral arbiters of something most of you can't even grasp in its original language, much less its rich cultural context. you may have noticed that my stance on almost everything is "it's complicated! here's what I believe i understand" so tbh the hubris on display is quite frankly astounding. my irritation with the "soulmates" effect is just a minor facet of *gestures* everything.

i know that the language i'm using is not particularly gentle. i hope you can understand and forgive me for having some ugly, vicious emotions after an ugly, vicious two years, both within fandom and without. i am not trying to punish anyone. i'm just. you know. running really low on good faith and patience.

i ultimately can't blame people for latching onto the soulmates translation--it's compelling, it feels unexpectedly explicit, and it was provided by "official sources" (oof). this is more an entreaty to spend a little more time thinking about some assumptions you may be holding or to reconsider your stances on a few things. maybe you'll ultimately disagree with me--that's fine. i don't want people to agree with me just because I said it, I want people to agree with me because they considered my words and judged them to be sound. but the fact still remains that 知己 isn't revolutionary or even particularly daring. you could call it capitulation and even that wouldn't be inaccurate. it is a socially acceptable way to label an intimate bond between two men in stories, platonic or otherwise. of course they're 知己. it's not the use of 知己 itself that makes an onscreen relationship more or less explicitly romantic but the context of the rest of their interactions. 知己 has multiple valences, and to pretend or assume that the romantic one is the only relevant reading of it is an oversimplification that I feel devalues both the depth of the term itself and, more broadly, love that does not take a romantic form. at its core, 知己 is about intimacy--in many shapes and at many levels.

before i continue, please read @hunxi-guilai's post about 知己 and how it can vary in meaning and gravity depending on context. I'm gonna quote the paragraphs that are particularly relevant to my points here because no offense, i don't trust anyone to read anything or put in the effort to meet me halfway anymore.

first:

People seem shocked when 知己 zhiji is a term dropped in casual conversation or daily dialogue, and they really shouldn’t be; it is as weighty or as casual as someone makes it in the moment. It is a living, breathing word that is actively employed in vernacular vocabularies, not some ancient artifact only pulled out and dusted off for the most significant/dramatic of occasions.

and second:

In the 《天涯客》 audiodrama, Zhou Zishu calls Wen Kexing a zhiji just for noticing that he’s sunning himself on the street (because Wen Kexing is the only one who sees through Zhou Zishu’s disguise at that moment, and doesn’t take him for a beggar). At that point, they haven’t even exchanged a single word, and Zhou Zishu remarks to himself that he hadn’t thought to meet a 知己 zhiji. He makes no more of it than that–just the acknowledgement oh, someone understood me, before moving on with his day.

i think problems arise for a few reasons.

1) a lot of people just do not understand translation from a practical standpoint, which I blame on a combination of flawed education systems and a failure to apply critical reasoning to situations involving translation. i think this is definitely a problem in the US specifically--that's the public education system I grew up in and have personal experience with, and I can say that with a fair amount of confidence. because of this, I see a lot (and i mean a lot) of people insisting on one-to-one translations of terms, concepts, etc. there is a lot of concern with "accuracy" and "what's the correct/proper translation for x then". if you read my last series of posts on translation that i linked up at the beginning of this post, you may have noticed that trend and my frustrations with it. this is less an issue with "poor" or "bad" translations themselves, but with how people have learned (or perhaps, not learned) to interact with translations.

2) a related issue to point 1 is that beyond not understanding the basic complications inherent to all translation is the subsequent (predictable) lack of understanding regarding different types of translation and how different branches of translation will prioritize different things entirely and implement completely different techniques. literary translation is very different from legal translation, which is very different from subtitling for mass market release, which is different from academic translation, which is different from comics translation, which is different from video game localization, which is different from machine translation, which is different from live interpretation etc. etc. etc. this is a problem not only for laypeople but also for professionals who work in translation industries that have little to no interaction with other types of translation. a professional legal translator isn't automatically qualified to talk shit to me about literary translation (and vice-versa) because we have fundamentally different goals, philosophies, and concerns. furthermore, translation as a trade vs translation as an art require different knowledge bases and skills--I'm a terrible medical interpreter, but an excellent literary translator.

3) so put these two gaps in general knowledge together, combine them with an explosively growing fandom, two languages that are notoriously difficult to translate between, the unfortunate political snarl surrounding the source material, then add a dash of tumblr-twitter university-flavored social justice rhetoric, a heaping metric fuckton spoonful of sinophobia, and you get the unfortunate, "知己 EQUALS SOULMATE IF YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE IT'S BOWING TO CENSORSHIP STOP ERASING QUEERNESS FROM MEDIA" take.

is this a (somewhat unkind) hyperbolic representation? i mean, yeah. but please remember, this take also manifests in things like "then what's the proper translation for 知己 [or any other complicated term]?" and "but 知己 is a way of getting around the censors by implying romance, right?" and "well, how do you keep the original [romantic] meaning of 知己 in translation then?" and "omg they really said soulmates" and "CQL/SHL said SOULMATE RIGHTS" and "wangxian/wenzhou are soulmates 😭😭😭😭" and, as i've stated, my least favorite: "CQL/SHL said fuck the censors they're soulmates".

these are fairly innocent on their own--like I said, despite the very serious digression i took up there, I get it. I understand the impulses, I understand why it's fun, but when it piles up and gets repeated over and over, it starts to wear. just. please think twice before idk, hinging entire premises on the misconception that two characters are "canonical soulmates" or making yet another fucking censorship joke or hot take that i personally have to see. stop using chinese state-sponsored censorship as a prop in your bids for internet clout and/or self-absorbed political agendas projected onto fictional characters.

okay.

with that said, i guess now it's time for some more regularly scheduled cyan programming: obsessive opinions about translation choices.

besides often finding online fandom's current preoccupation with explicitly stated queer representation simplistic and uncompassionate or whatever, I also, for petty, personal reasons, just think it's just such an unbelievably boring and unimaginative way to engage with language and literature--with the power of things that are left unsaid, with subtext and subtlety! yes, there is great power and value in explicit statements, but there is also power in the implicit. the wholesale dismissal of anything less than open declarations results in, i think, some pretty hollow takes (and some seriously lackluster writing).

so what are the artistic reasons for why I don't want to see "soulmate" for 知己 anymore?

as hunxi explained in her post, 知己 is a term that changes meaning and gravity depending on context and situational usage. just as it can be used with great significance, it can also be a totally casual thing. taking into account the tendency for fandom at large to think of translation as a one-to-one equivalency, when you consistently translate 知己 into "soulmate" you end up with... issues.

i think this is specifically due to its immutable register--"soulmate" is an inherently weighty term, something that is not true for 知己. furthermore, "soulmate" is likely to carry a romantic connotation in english, which, once again, is not true for 知己. this leads to, I think, a lot of misunderstanding and analytical mistakes when discussing both CQL and SHL, because even if people do understand that it's not an exact translation, there's still a persistent belief that 知己, like soulmate, is inherently weighty and sometimes almost explicitly romantic.

let's talk about CQL and SHL to illustrate my point. that's why most of you are here, isn't it?

CQL first. ep 25. the godforsaken iconic 知己 exchange.

[ID: screenshot from episode 25 of the untamed during the 知己 conversation. lan wangji and wei wuxian face each other in profile. there are no words onscreen. /end ID]

this bitch.

here is the original dialogue:

LWJ: 你把我当成什么人？ WWX: 我曾经把你当作我毕生知己 LWJ: 現在仍是

there are numerous translations of these lines--both netflix and youtube (as of 15 june 2021) render 知己 as "confidant": netflix:

LWJ: Who do you take me for? WWX: I once treated you as my lifelong confidant. LWJ: I still am.

youtube:

LWJ: who do you take me for? WWX: I had once taken you as my whole-life confidant. LWJ: Still, I am.

however, the version that I know most people latch onto/are familiar with is the one where wei wuxian's line is subtitled as something like, "I once saw you as my soulmate of this lifetime". if I remember correctly, the WeTV subs originally had this, as did netflix. the episode description of 25 on wikipedia notes that "Wei WuXian answers that he used to treat Lan WangJi as a soulmate." other instances of 知己 are also now rendered as "confidant" (or "true friend" in one instance), but you can see some of the original translations in screenshots collected in this tweet from december 2019.

on the off-chance that the tweet is moved/deleted, here is a screenshot of the images in question:

[ID: four screenshots from the untamed with different pieces of dialogue that include the term "soulmate". /end ID]

top row, left to right are from episodes 7 and 25. the bottom row is two moments from episode 43, in case anyone is insane like me cares. yes i did pull that almost entirely from memory rip my brain storage space

if I were forced to keep soulmate for at least one instance, i would pick the bottom right scene in 43, where wei wuxian remarks: "人生得一知己, 足矣." // "to have a 知己 in one's lifetime, that is enough". unless i'm forgetting another instance, i would argue that this is wei wuxian's weightiest use of the term throughout the entire series: this is in the present-day arc (so after *handwaves* all that trauma), lan wangji just stood beside him publicly and declared his loyalty on the steps of jinlin tai in front of the most prominent figures in their sphere, we're getting close to the resolution of the plot, and wei wuxian has just learned about lan wangji's punishment, aka the depths of his devotion. to go a little deeper, this is a quote from 20th century poet lu xun and is written in an elevated register. putting aside that this is a 20th century literary reference in fantasy ancient china (but then again: there's really no point in trying to "accurately" date CQL. you may as well try to "accurately" date game of thrones), i think the register is meaningful because wei wuxian moves between registers depending on context, but in everyday speech, is most likely to sit comfortably in a colloquial range. an elevated register carries significance for him, unlike lan wangji for whom this is the norm. (yet again: see hunxi's post on linguistic register in CQL for the rundown on that)

this is in stark contrast to the moment in episode 7 depicted in the top left image. wei wuxian and lan wangji have just presented the yin iron to lan xichen and lan qiren and explained their little adventure at the cold springs. wei wuxian speculates on how everything is connected and lan xichen confirms his reasoning and adds, "Wangji, when you asked me before, I couldn't reveal the truth to you." wei wuxian, realizing that he and lan wangji have had the same thoughts about the situation, goes, "哟，知己啊", which basically means "hey, we're 知己!" if i really wanted to capture the tone of this little interjection, i would say the mood is closest to something like: "yo, we totally vibe/we're on the same wavelength/you get me/samesies!" etc etc. this is about as casual as you can get--it's literally just 知己, prefaced by a particle that's roughly equivalent to "hey/yo/oh!" and followed by an auxiliary particle to express a mild sense of enthusiasm.

you can make an argument to use "soulmates" again in this situation. after all, it's not unusual to hyperbolize semi-ironically in english-- "yo, we're totally soulmates" or "hey, soulmate alert" etc. I don't think these specific (exaggerated) examples are appropriate for CQL for obvious reasons, but i think that, in a vacuum, subtitling this as, "hey, it's like we're soulmates" could work.

HOWEVER, as I said before, im now anti-soulmate and I Would Prefer Not To, so let's explore that.

as established, 知己 can naturally vary in gravity, while I personally don't feel that soulmate does. so in order to keep the "soulmate" translation, I think you have to create a reading of tone that's not exactly true to the character in the moment. if someone says, in a situation like this, "yo, it's like we're soulmates", it's understood that there's an irony to it. they're exaggerating for effect, etc. this isn't necessarily OOC for wei wuxian in general, but I don't think it's true to what's happening in this specific scene and more importantly, to the purpose of the 知己 motif throughout CQL. I believe that 知己 is being used earnestly, if lightly.

the 知己 motif is a CQL-only choice; it is not present in the mdzs novel. the use of 知己/知己-adjacent dialogue (i.e. dialogue concerning familiarity, recognition, understanding, insiders vs outsiders) over the course of the story is one of the ways that I think CQL was trying to illustrate a subtextual relationship that would be accepted by the censors. because it is a motif, I understand why we would want to translate the term with some degree of consistency in order to preserve its purpose.

i believe this hinges on the way that 知己 can naturally vary in tonal weight from very light to very heavy: it's anything from "hey! we vibe" to "you are the only one who truly understands me". to use "soulmate" as a blunt, one-to-one equivalence is a) bad because of my earlier points about how translation is never a one-to-one etc. and b) not to my taste specifically because "soulmate" lacks this natural fluidity, so even if you can make interesting artistic choices by varying the sincerity of how "soulmate" is used (as i showed a few paragraphs up), I think this has a subtle but profound effect on the way wangxian's relationship is presented.

CQL wangxian are quite different from mdzs wangxian in a number of ways, but what's relevant here is how their relationship has a much more fated/meant-to-be flavor to it in CQL rather than in mdzs. from the beginning, CQL emphasizes their special connection, even if neither of them has fully come to terms with those feelings. wangxian's first moonlit duel is way more of a big deal in CQL than in mdzs, for example. other examples include: their tagteam adventure in the cold springs with lan yi; their symbolic forehead ribbon marriage; the lantern scene; meeting songxiao and emphasizing their special connection; the emotional farewell in the rain; i could go on. this is a very different relationship to wangxian in the novel, in which wei wuxian is really so caught up in his own problems before his death that the bulk of wangxian's relationship is actually built up and reciprocated during the present-day arc instead. which i prefer!!!! but that's neither here nor there.

"but cyan!" i hear you saying, "surely that means that soulmate is a good translation? what is a soulmate if not a fated/meant-to-be person??" to which i say, HERE'S MY REBUTTAL: to use "soulmate" as a catch-all translation for 知己 changes the axis upon which the relationship moves. instead of gravity, it becomes sincerity. and this, I think, is not a good reflection of what 知己 (and related dialogue) is meant to convey throughout CQL.

one of the personality traits of wei wuxian that CQL doubles down on is how seriously he takes the important things, regardless of what kind of outer demeanor he presents. jiang yanli says to jiang cheng within the first few episodes that "you know that a'xian never fools around when it matters". that doesn't mean he doesn't have fun! he still buys the 天子笑 liquor when he goes to fetch the invitation from caiyi after all. he likes to mess around, he likes to play tricks and he is blessed with a light heart. but we see over and over again, even as a schoolboy, that he is sincere and heartfelt about important things. once again: see the lantern scene.

to me, I think this is enough reason to step back from trying to use the "soulmate" translation because it necessitates that kind of hyperbolic/ironic tone in english in that moment in episode 7, when I think it's actually narratively salient that wei wuxian is being earnest. this is especially important for one of the first uses of 知己 in the story. 知己 grows heavier with each subsequent use as CQL progresses: it goes from something casual to something much more significant, but I don't believe it's ever used ironically--as i said, i believe the thematic axis is gravity. if we confine ourselves to using "soulmate" as a one-to-one translation for 知己, we inevitably hit snags because the terms just do not function the same way.

"well, ok cyan, then what the hell are you proposing we do instead" you all fucking ask me because heaven forbid i complain about anything without providing an itemized list of proposed solutions

after thinking about it for a really long time, i think my preferred solution is actually fairly simple--instead of trying to translate 知己 as a rigid, one-word noun, just... translate what it means.

if you don't already know, the two characters that make up 知己 are 知 "to know" and 己 "self". so someone who is 知己 can literally be described as "one who knows me". i think that to know and to understand are both english verbs that have the same natural weight variance as 知己. you can, completely sincerely, say both "oh yeah, I know her," and "but i know her" for very different effect. i think that with some work and thought, you could come up with subtitles that not only circumvent the problem of reinforcing one-to-one translation tendencies and the misconceptions that those tend to breed, but also preserve the intended thematic throughline and are an acceptable length for actual subtitle timing and encoding.

this post is already way too fucking long, but in for a penny in for my entire life savings i guess: one of the considerations of subtitles that tends to get ignored or forgotten, especially in fansub territory, is timing and relative length. good subtitles must both convey meaning well and convey it in a length that an average viewer can absorb and understand in the time that it is onscreen. fansubs play fast and loose with this because there's no concern over the idea of capturing and/or maintaining an audience. for the most part, fansubs are for people who are already fans. plus, there's (theoretically) no money/profit involved. for media corporations, this is going to be a much bigger concern--capturing and maintaining an audience is critical to profit. and we all know how much people hate subtitles generally anyways (especially in anglophone countries :)), so they had better be a) clear and b) easy to access if you want to keep your viewers.

this is a significant challenge for chinese -> english subtitles because of the way the languages work. i talk about this at length in my post on lan wangji's speech patterns and the difficulties associated with rendering them into english. if you'd like to see an example in action, here's a screenshot of my aegisub workspace for the SHL special ending easter egg subtitles:

[ID: screenshot of the subtitling program aegisub, displaying a segment of an episode. in the CPS column, a few lines are pale to medium red. the line displayed is "Will Senior please offer critique!" for 请前辈指点 /end ID]

honestly, not too bad! my worst character per second (CPS) ratio is 23CPS, which is the first line.

but look at this screenshot from my aegisub workspace for HIStory3: Trap, episode 1:

[ID: screenshot of the subtitling program aegisub, displaying a segment of an episode. in the CPS column, several lines are medium to bright red. the line on display is "Another division says they can snatch him away, so they just snatch him," for 别的单位说抢就抢 /end ID]

god the hilarity of seeing HOW LONG the english is compared to the mandarin. if you look at the numbers, you may notice that i have a 49CPS and also a 39CPS line right next to each other. that is Bad! this was a personal project, so I was unconcerned. however, this would be unacceptable for official, mainstream release subtitles.

netflix's guidelines for english subtitles are publicly available online. if you scroll down to the sections on reading speed for english subtitles for foreign language source material (II.17), you will see that netflix's standard for adult programs is 20CPS. and i hope by now it's clear why that can be such a bitterly challenging metric to meet in a show like CQL.

this is not to defend the netflix subtitles. or the wetv ones. they're absolutely fucking abysmal, even by the standards laid out in the netflix style guide. I could pick through the document and point out every way in which I believe the CQL subtitles laughably fail to meet the standards (and the infuriating consequences thereof), but that's another post for sure. there is some leeway for "industry requirements" but I'm getting real tired of this excuse when it's clear that the real problem is a) the people in charge of the subtitles simply don't care enough/don't pay enough for good subtitles and b) subtitling/specialized translation isn't really considered a serious, difficult art that requires creative skill to be done well. it's truly fucking enraging.

what i'm trying to do by really driving down on all of these minute details is to hopefully (!!) prompt people into shifting their paradigms re: translation/subtitling and more fully understand how simple misconceptions driven by singular translation choices can ripple out into complex and unexpected forms, harmful or not. i am well aware that the amount of thought, time, energy etc. that I've put into this One Translation Choice is completely unfeasible as a mainstream standard. it's obviously ridiculous! but I think there is a middle ground somewhere that wouldn't have caused so much unintentional damage. "soulmates" is the tip of the goddamn iceberg. (every time i see a one-character name, i feel another piece of my soul crumble away)

for CQL specifically, I've gone back and forth between whether I would prefer using "to know" or "to understand" as the fulcrum of the 知己 translation, and I... think..... I would go with "to know". at least right now. there are a few reasons for that tentative choice, one of which is simply that "know" is only four characters while "understand" is ten. the other is that, after messing around with both in each scenario, I think "know" ultimately flows better sonically.

i'm only going to break down the exchange in episode 25 because i'm exhausted, but here:

ep 25:

LWJ: 你把我当成什么人？ WWX: 我曾经把你当作 [new line] 我毕生知己 LWJ: 現在仍是

there are actually a couple things with this exchange I want to talk about in addition to 知己. first: the way that lan wangji's first line is subtitled: "who do you take me for?"

this is a poor translation because it has absolutely the wrong tone in english. "who/what do you take me for?" is an idiomatic, rhetorical question, that's usually followed by something derogatory. one of the more common forms you'll see is "what do you take me for, an idiot?" it's not appropriate for this serious, vulnerable question that lan wangji is posing.

a much better translation, in my opinion, would be "who am I to you?" which also has some pretty specific connotations in english. it doesn't have to be romantic, but it does often appear in romantic scenarios where someone wants to know where they stand in relation to another. this, i think, gets you the hint of romantic intention that feels appropriate in this scene without the heavy-handedness of "soulmates", and also just. more accurately reflects lan wangji's intentions.

(an aside: i speculate that the reason we got "who do you take me for" is because the chinese sentence structure more or less literally translates to something like "you have taken me for/regarded me as/made me into what kind of person?". depending on tone, you can use it in the same way as "who do you take me for" in english, but unfortunately, that's not what's happening here. it seems like a very unsurprising mistake for a machine translation.)

so the 知己 line. this one is HARD because it's long! and the subtitles split right before 毕生知己 because wei wuxian pauses. I think the power of the line rests in keeping the answer wholly after the pause. the original was, I think, "I once saw you as [pause, new subtitle line] my soulmate of this lifetime."

ugh!! it's so awkward and weird, ESPECIALLY following a "who do you take me for" GOD. here's my proposal:

I once thought you were someone [pause] who would know me for a lifetime.

it's long!! yes it's long, but we have a little wiggle room because there's a lot of heavy silences during this exchange, so we might actually be able to make the CPS limit. or almost. what the fuck ever. I could shorten it further by just saying "I once thought you [pause] would know me for a lifetime" but this is the wrong form of answer for the question "who am I to you?" so I think it's worthwhile to keep "were someone" despite how many characters it adds.

and lan wangji's final response (yes, I have thoughts on this too): we have both "I still am" and "Still, I am". I feel strongly that "Still, I am" is better than "I still am" because lan wangji being lan wangji is using a more formal construction. the 仍 character he's using for "still" is usually literary. putting "still" at the front of the sentence creates a more elevated tone in english, and emphasizes it, which more closely reflects lan wangji's intention.

NOW HOWEVER, if we are going with my dialogue proposals, I would say that we should change this to "Still, I do" because the relevant part of "someone who would know me for a lifetime" is the knowing and the implication in that is "i don't know if you know me right now" or "i don't know if you will actually know me forever" or "you knew me once, and i thought it would be forever, but now I'm not so sure". so i feel that lan wangji's response should be to that implied uncertainty, even if it shifts the grammar a little. I do still know you. I know you right now.

putting it all together, my proposed dialogue would look like this:

LWJ: Who am I to you? WWX: I once thought you were someone [new line] who would know me for a lifetime. LWJ: Still, I do.

DO YOU SEE WHY I THINK THIS IS BETTER THAN SOULMATES. what's powerful about this scene is what isn't being said! it's the tone! it's the fucking reaching out and trying to cling to someone you're afraid you're in the process of losing. fucks sake. what is more intimate than really knowing a person? i hate everything. soulmates my ASS.

all right, let's pivot to SHL, which presents a different set of challenges with its use of 知己. there are two exchanges involving 知己 that I think are particularly noteworthy: once in ep8, the moment we all remember when wen kexing says it, and once in ep30, when jin-wang says he had always thought zhou zishu was his 知己.

in these two lines in SHL, there is an emphasis on 知己's function as a title/role, whereas in CQL I think there's more room to bend the structure of the dialogue around 知己 without losing sight of its original purpose. both of the lines in SHL use 知己 in direct contrast to another, lesser term: in wen kexing's case, he's saying, "you only think of me as a friend? after all this? but I think of you as 知己". jin-wang, on the other hand, is saying, "I always thought you were my 知己, but it seems you're nothing more than an ordinary person". it's much harder here to try and retain the punch of the parallel structure of these moments without the use of a shorter, one-to-one translation: "friend" vs "someone who understands me", and "someone who understands me" vs "ordinary person"--they're such unequal length that I think the overall structure starts to get clunky, especially in episode 30 when it's all said at once. the mandarin has an elegance because each term is two characters: 朋友 (friend)，庸人 (mediocre/ordinary person)，知己

since i never met a translation challenge i didn't charge at headfirst screaming, let's give this a shot. why the hell not.

here's my problem with using "soulmates"--even though I think it does work in episode 8, it really doesn't in episode 30. i think the reason the moment in episode 30 produces such a visceral recoil is because it's using a term that's perfectly appropriate in the social context, but still feels like a desecration because of how that term has been given a different meaning through the rest of the show. as it is right now, the translation "soulmates" feels like a distraction from the intensity of the moment because it doesn't really fit--again, it's the romantic connotations of soulmate that are making things difficult. jin-wang very obviously does NOT mean 知己 in a romantic context (though that can be a valid and fun dynamic to play with in fic etc.) this is a much closer to a patron-minister manifestation of the 知己 relationship, and it centers around ideals, politics, shared vision etc. (for background on this aspect of 知己, please avail yourself of one of hunxi's posts if you're unfamiliar with it idk look, hunxi just has a lot of backlog i can conveniently cite ok)

when I read "soulmate" on the screen it took me right out of the moment--it's such an out-of-place term for the situation! i think it diminishes jin-wang's charisma a lot because it sounds so... laughable?? idk. in any case, jin-wang is beiyuan's ex and I Would Llike To See It

so what i'm looking for is a one-to-one translation that can work in both scenarios, and after a lot of thought on this front, the best I've been able to come up with in english is "kindred spirit". if I were forced to give a general one-to-one translation of 知己 for all-purpose use, this is what I would choose as well. but again, it's far from perfect. I would just prefer it over "soulmates" or "bosom friend" or what the fuck ever as a catch-all.

anyways, episode 8:

WKX: 你怎么不问我当你是什么？ ZZS: 管你当我是什么 ... WKX: 是知己

YT subs:

WKX: Why don't you ask me what I think of you? ZZS: I don't care. ... WKX: You're my soulmate.

my proposed alteration:

WKX: Why aren't you asking how I think of you? ZZS: Who cares how you think of me. ... WKX: I think of you as [new line] my kindred spirit.

episode 30:

JW: 孤王还一直以为 [new line] 你是我的知己 [new line] 原来 [new line] 你也只是个庸人而已

YT subs:

JW: I always think [new line] you are my soul mate. [new line] But it turns out [new line] that you're no more than an ordinary person.

my proposed alteration:

JW: This lonely prince had always thought [new line] that you were my kindred spirit [new line] But it seems [new line] you were nothing more than another ordinary person.

i... want to do explanations of my choices, but I really am running on nothing but fumes at this point. the only thing I want to mention, I think, is the prince's use of 孤王 as a pronoun. most of the time, when speaking with zhou zishu, he refers to himself as either 本王 or simply, 我. i did a quick check, and i'm fairly confident that 孤王 carries the connotation of solitude/loneliness. it's not an uncommon pronoun (for royalty), but I think it's important that he switches to this one in this moment when he laments that he and zhou zishu aren't what he had once hoped they could be.

if I were translating only for myself, I would probably still try to somehow work with "someone who understands me" because I think that just hits harder than "kindred spirit". so like, "I think of you as someone who understands me" and "This lonely prince had always thought that you were someone who understood me", that kind of thing. i think it gets more precisely at the core of what makes 知己 such an important concept in SHL. but i did think it was worthwhile to show how one might translate 知己 in a different context while restricted to a one-to-one term, just as proof of concept. we can have better subtitles that still meet style guidelines. yes, this is fueled by my own bitterness and spite. im fucking tired of the excuses for piss-poor subtitles when the problem clearly is one of value, not possibility.

so where does this leave us, at the end of approximately 7k (yikes)? i... talked about a lot of things, so if you made it all the way to the end, congrats and thanks for sticking with it. i've been trying to figure out how to end this post since i started it, and I haven't found a good answer, but I'll try.

in early 2013, I met a lesbian activist from china at a conference. she was there with a small delegation, maybe about five young queer people, who worked in beijing, or maybe shanghai--it's been a long time, and I don't remember most of the details. what I do remember was that I was anxious, that I still didn't feel comfortable with a label, and that I was at least half-convinced I was faking whatever queer mishmash of feelings I had going on. and I remember that these were the first queer people from china i had ever knowingly met. they talked about the work they were doing, their own coming out experiences, the antagonism and support they'd received--the woman I spoke to mentioned that they had a lesbian print magazine publication, and I naively asked after the presentation if there was any way they could mail it to someone overseas (me) who was interested in reading it. she hesitated somewhat apologetically and said, "well, no, not really. it's still an illegal publication, you see. we can't distribute like that." this was nearly six years before the webnovelist tianyi was sentenced to a decade in prison for printing and distributing her BL work.

in august 2020, about a year after CQL aired, the organizers of shanghai pride announced that they were halting all activities indefinitely after 11 years. new laws instated early this year on self-publishing are increasing restrictions on free speech.

something a little closer to home: you remember 227 right? do you remember some of the cold, callous reactions to the news? like this one? what about the incessant trickle of hot twitter takes that all seem to start with "I know censorship is bad, but"?

at the end of the day, perhaps this is just my sad, tired entreaty once again to think more about how you interact with stories in translation, how complex the act of translation can be. before you blithely make jokes about chinese media censorship and how shows "get around it" based solely on your view through the small and cloudy window of low-quality subtitles, i ask you again to take a moment to reflect. before you tweet a thread about how even though censorship is bad, it forces creativity and produces interesting art, all while holding up misinterpretations of those subtitles as evidence--look, i don't give a fuck. the hays code produced interesting cinema too. many terrible things produce interesting art.

on a more personal note: before you start a fucking dissection of a language you don't understand on my personal vent post, before you barge into someone's askbox with this entitled attitude about language, before you ask any of us to act as your personal tour guide without doing us the basic courtesy of a five second google search, before you try to impose culturally ignorant moral judgments on the text, just. take a minute.

this post is as much a summary of my feelings on 知己 and translation as it is a messy, bitter reaction to the straws that are this close to breaking the camel's back. how many times must i reiterate that translation is not and never will be uncomplicated and bloodless before you all stop demanding easy, simple answers? stop asking me to exploit a culture I barely feel belongs to me for your fanfiction. stop asking me to gut myself to make your media more palatable.

i don't have a coherent thesis for this post. i don't want to have a debate. make your own post if you want to have a discussion because I really don't.

as i sit here staring at all the places where I revised my words to be softer, where i put a disclaimer asking for forgiveness, i debate undoing it all and speaking as harshly as i feel. why should i have to disclaim my emotions every time I have them? why should I have to make everyone comfortable when I have been trying with every fucking fiber of my goodwill to be gentle this whole time, only to be backstabbed, insulted, used, talked over, dismissed? must even my anger be eloquent to be valued? what do i need to be forgiven for?

i miss finding joy here.

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sodomitecastiel · 3 years

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Do you have any recommended spn fics? To be restored is consuming all of my non fenario brainspace

This is in no way an exhaustive list - @jewishcharliebradbury is the one to go for that - but these are some favorites of mine, please always heed their tags just in case!

Putting it under a readmore because I'm a wordy bastard:

Sky Verse by starandrea: Angelic civil war! The crispest, most in-character dialogue! Vast, sprawling worldbuilding! Dean and Cas get together and are very bad at it for a long time! This series obsesses me the way other people are obsessed with dta (which I have not read for fear of commitment but fully intend to eventually).

To Be Restored by serenetyfails: You mentioned this one already but it's worth repeating - it's my favorite trans spn fic that I didn't write myself. Cas's transmasc identity is handled so carefully and so competently, Dean flips out in a way that's both in character and still kind to him, and Sam and Rowena are wonderfully fleshed out. I think many people would look at the premise and worry it's either misogynistic or fetishy, but it's neither, it's such a love letter to Cas's well-earned masculinity. Also, I'm obsessed with Rowena knowing and being buddies with a lot of trans women witches :)

Talk Therapy by shara: This is one of my favorite 'Dean is bad at asking for things' fics, it deals with his inability to want things past what he can give to others really well. I also appreciate that not everything in their relationship is fixed just because they're together, although the amount they love each other is always obvious.

Epilogue by JayneL: A weird little time travel story that is NOT a fixit for endverse, but is exceptionally kind to endverse Cas anyway. It aches very badly. I remember it being pretty trippy but also having to sit and look at the ceiling a while after reading it.

The Love Story of the Runner Up by Margo_Kim: Cas dates a normal human man with a good soul for a little while before he gets with Dean. Both of them know it isn't for forever, but they look after each other anyway. Told through the lens of story-swapping between gay friends and written with so much care & love. (You can thank @okologie for finding this one and making me read it despite my reservations.)

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo: Everyone recommends this fic but it's for a reason. Probably the best post-retirement fic there is, and definitely helped me form the neural connections to write Fenario, haha, I can't recommend this one enough. The complicated Dean and Sam issues are held with just as much weight as the Dean and Cas ones, although both are handled gently.

you and me in the war of the end times by stickthelanding (@tallahasseemp3): Alma knocked it out of the park with this one. THEE shotgunning fic. I've reread it more times than I can count, it has the loveliest atmosphere. I want to gnaw on this prose, said with love!

A Drinking Song by Balder12: Endverse snapshot. This one is mostly just bone hurting juice but it's one of my favorite characterizations of them - sometimes I find that endverse stories either make Cas way too soft or fucked up in a way I find goes too far in a direction I don't agree with, this one feels pitch perfect.

Everyone Is Trying to Get to the Bar by Balder12: All time fave angel true form fic!!! It's deliciously weird and fun, definitely a mind-melter. I only read it the once but sometimes I think about it and get a funny little shiver.

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara: This is another 'universal favorite', but also for good reason. Extraordinarily tender, it's my personal favorite Cas-grows-a-garden post canon story, especially because it manages to write a jealousy plotline that doesn't make me want to bite and kill. Dean's voice is exactly right and everything unfurls with this tender inevitability, idk how else to describe it! It also ends on a final image that's so lovely it's seared into my brain.

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx by pantheon_of_discord: Nobody does vignettes like supernatural writers. I love the way the road feels in this one, and how carefully picked each moment is. A string of pearls, this fic.

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know by blinkiesays: Dean and Cas get trapped in the midwest by a curse that doesn't let them leave the state, and they want to break it until they don't. Being trapped gives them an excuse to want to settle down, but the route they take to get there is, of course, circuitous. This one hurts a little because it takes place while Sam is dead, but it isn't gratuitous in its sadness. Sweet and melancholy.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo: FAVE FAVE FAVE FAVE. I push this one at everyone I can. I'm extremely picky about 'Dean's self loathing' fics, mainly because I think it can veer easily into melodrama, but this author weaves Dean's self hatred and his anger together very seamlessly, in a way that feels real to the show. Also, Cas is perfect.

sweeter coming from my hand by perilously: A story that I liked before Nov5 and withstood the test of time!! Dean and Cas get married/soul-bound in order to both remove the Mark of Cain and fix Cas's grace. Features a formative scene for me where Cas expresses worries about if he has a soul and Dean raps knuckles on his chest, going, "knock knock, sounds like a soul in there." If you like this one, perilously has many good fics that are just as in character.

On Labor by a_good_soldier: I very nearly couldn't finish this one, but not because it's bad, haha. The premise just makes me want to tear my clothes in mourning - Dean knows Cas is in love with him, after getting him back from the Empty, and decides that he should give him what he wants without realizing that he wants it too. Dean performatively dating Cas while trying to talk himself into liking it (not knowing that he does actually like it) is exactly the kind of convoluted bullshit Dean's internalized homophobia would do to him. Nauseating and spectacular. Sticks in your brain for weeks.

canticles by 2street2car: An excellent 'weird girl best friends' fic. After striking out at the brothel, Dean decides to treat Cas to the "first date experience" himself, since the guy might die the next day. To sum it up succinctly: the rituals are intricate. And dirty dancing is referenced!

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon: As the author states themself, this fic is a love letter to California - it's a road trip casefic that's so rooted in place, the setting is rich and lush and the atmosphere makes me ache, and not just because it's set in my home state! I saved this one for last because this is another prolific author who has many stories I come back to again and again (Sweet Home and Love: A Retrospective are particularly good), they really don't miss. Usually when I read fic, it's a mad dash to the finish, but I took my time with this one. I highly encourage you to do the same :)

#dear god. ok. this got long #if u want more recs i mean it alie is Thee fic reccer i trust #but these are some gems i carry around w me :)#nathaniel.txt #answered #fic rec

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pussyhoundspock · 3 years

Note

You’re my fave fic author so I trust you. Do you have any recommendations for non-AU Destiel fics? I’ll take ANYTHING. Sadly, I’ve very recently read all of your fics.

ahhh omg!! thank you so much!! i'm so bad at remembering to bookmark my fics but let me think -- i love komodobit's assimilation and cuckoo and nest -- both are short but impeccable character studies, in my opinion!

unfortunately rageprufrock's the girlfriend experience IS the og sadieservice fic so that's gotta go on here it always makes me laugh ... another fic that always makes me laugh is saltyfeathers' put up your dukes (deeply horny homoeroticism of fighting). OH deeply underrated comedic fic in modern era spn fan-age is broadway musical by griftings! canticles written by 2street2car is a season 4 era fic that was written very recently and makes me insane perfect dean and cas voices and really makes you ache with it!

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (a writer i love!) is just my absolute favorite post-canon settling down with a house and chickens and the entire hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series to read. aeli_kindara's first date series is another one that gets even MY cold dead heart to open and i love their cas pov in teaching poetry to fish which spans the entire canon of the show and cas' life before hand and really beautifully integrates poetry with the story!

two format breaking fics i really loved were renrub's r/supernatural (dean's on reddit. VERY funny) and To Boldly Go (dean writes star trek fic fic as i like to call it -- you can even see me larping as one of dean's regular commenters in some of the chapters haha!)

also of course i have to give nepotism shoutouts to the goldenrod revisions by aethylas (PERFECT re-write of 15x19 and continuation of the show), a short history of dean and tentacles by casisms (sadieservice at its finest. impeccable character study) and everything that dies (one day comes back) by gayfranzkafka (supernatural is a story about stories) and looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (lovely if bumpy post canon tfw + friends and family build a bear trip)

i can be really picky when it comes to fic so i feel like this list is a bit short (and i know for a FACT i'm totally blanking on and forgetting some INCREDIBLE fics that i've loved because i'm very forgetful and also NOT organized about my fic reading) but @katebushstandean DID create this INSANE epic and organized spreadsheet of all our fic recs if you want like HUNDREDS of fic recs you can check that out! (you can also sort by my name -- sadie -- to see which fics i rec'd on there haha!). you can also try my bookmarks on ao3 (amidsizedfrog) though GOD KNOWS im inconsistent as hell about those. finally, @jewishcharliebradbury is my favorite blog to go to for fic recs!

#fic recs #long post #god im looking over this and im like wow im leaving off SO many great fics i love but it's either a very short incomplete list of fic recs #OR i never anaswer this ask #so here is my very incomplete list #SORRY to all the incredibly authors and fics i have left on this list #MAYBE this will encourage me to ACTUALLY compile a REAL list of all my forever favs #asks #spn #though spn characters simply do not map well onto angels characters al;djfalsfj

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ickle-ronniekins · 4 years

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thank you for the tag my lovely friend @wand3ringr0s3. this looks like fun! :)

Which of your fics…

…did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got?

tongue tied with my freddie boy.. it did get a big reaction, but i have other fics that got bigger reactions than this and it’s surprised me.

…got a better reaction than you expected?

silent confessions, i believe, is my most popular fic at the moment. i’m happy that i was able to include both fred and george in this while ultimately it is a george x reader fic. normally i find that fred x reader stories do better overall, so i was super excited to see all the love that george got for this one!

…is your funniest?

i honestly dunno if i have a funny fic? i don’t necessarily find myself to be a good writer when it comes to writing comedy. the one i think of when i think of being ‘funny’ is the fake dating story, breaking the rules, with fred. i do quite like the way i established their friendship and i enjoyed writing their sarcastic banter with one another! though i don’t necessarily know if it’s funny, lol.

…is your darkest/angstiest?

FOR SURE it’s forgiveness, i mean the entire idea of the reader being engaged to fred before he dies, and then feeling immense, heart-wrenching guilt when she falls for george after they take solace in the fact that they have one another to lean on is just really dark and confusing. it was very difficult to navigate in order to make it a storyline people would be able to accept. i was very afraid everyone would be like “she’s just sleeping with his brother because she can’t have him!” but i really wanted to establish the baseline of their friendship and how through coping with fred’s death and their own feelings, they rediscovered one another in a different way and ultimately fell in love. there were a lot of dark themes within it -- of course, fred’s death being the main factor. there was anxiety, depression, detachment, lust....just a whole lot of angsty things in there.

…is your absolute favorite?

that’s really difficult -- for a while it was forgiveness, and then after that it was silent confessions, i think partially because i did get such an overwhelming amount of love on the both of them. however, when i think about it, the one i come back to time and time again is the my absolute favorite person series with george, a three part series where the reader and george are in love with one another since very young ages but never admit it to one another and ultimately end up with other people. it took me a really long time to write, especially because there were so many intricate details i wanted in there that needed to ultimately match up in order to give the story that extra bit of emotion. by far my favorite. ever. i’m really happy with the way my writing, plot structure, relationships and character development ended up with that story.

…is your least favorite?

oh my god there are too many to choose from honestly? LOL. honestly any of my old ones from my first masterlist... they were just rubbish. i don’t even know how else to describe them, quite honestly. i don’t even want to link any because i’m so embarrassed HAHA. pls don’t go to my masterlist and read the old ones. pls just don’t. i cringe.

…was the easiest to write?

the switch with fred! i thought it was going to be difficult, having to differentiate in my writing that fred and george were pretending to be one another, but i actually thought it flowed quite nicely. i’m happy with how it turned out, and the prompt was so cute! it’s definitely one of my favorites, i think.

…was the hardest to write?

OH MY GOD. the easiest question. both of my george soulmate aus proved so difficult to write. the first one was clarity which was a soulmate au involving journals and writing back and forth with your soulmate but being unable to reveal your identity due to the war. i was so worried people were going to think it was a stupid idea and i legitimately rewrote the ending like six different times, it took me a solid week to write or something. insane. and my most recent george soulmate au, the one i was meant to find, was super difficult to write in the sense that there were a lot of details i needed to pay very close attention to in order for the story to unfold the way i wanted it too. also rewrote this ending like ten different times. i couldn’t decide whether i wanted the reader to leave with george when they peaced outta hogwarts, or reunited with him years later. SO DIFFICULT JREOHGLIEKSD UGH

…has your favorite line/exchange/paragraph? (share it)

there’s actually a lot of small things throughout my stories that i’m pleased with, and it’s difficult to pick just one. but there are a few paragraphs from one story in particular that come to mind. it’s a pretty big part, so i’ll cut it down a bit. writing forgiveness was a process, and one i’m thankful for. i was very pleased with the way i was able to incorporate their past into the present and have it tie their relationship together. my favorite little bit from it has to be this part:

“He felt nerves like he’d never felt in his life, but he didn’t let on. He didn’t want you to see, because you didn’t know. Nobody did. Nobody knew that George had been madly in love with you since before you and Fred had gotten together. Not even Fred knew. And being the gentleman that he is, George never said a word to his twin, or to anyone, when you two began dating. And when you’d decided to move in together, he helped you unpack things in your new home with his brother. And when you and Fred ran to him to tell him you were engaged, he swallowed his pride and held you both in his arms, ready to celebrate. And when Fred died, George promised himself he’d do everything in his power to keep his brother’s fiancé happy and safe. So, if you wanted him to stay now, he shouldn’t feel guilty about that, right?” oof

…have you re-read the most?

okay, i am kind of embarrassed to admit that i do reread my writing, but it’s for the purpose of weeding out structure that i like, that i dislike, writing styles i’d like to try again or that i’d like to avoid, specific phrases i’d like to save for the future, phrases i definitely don’t want to use again, things of the like. i’ve probably reread my absolute favorite person the most, because i’m proud of the intricate details of the interwoven underlying plots and themes i was able to incorporate and i feel my writing is very strong there.

…would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time?

AHHHHHH THIS IS SO HARD. i’m going to do what haley did and break it down by category. i don’t write smut, just FYI! but stories marked with an * have a lil bit of ~heat~ to them

angst - can’t help falling in love with you [george], wildflowers [fred series], forgiveness [fred/george], empty [fred/george], on rainy days [george]

fluff - sunkissed* [george], temptations [george], chemical reaction [george], the riot* [fred], tangled up [fred], placing bets [george], in every lifetime [fred], cosmic destiny [fred]

tagging all of my lovelies! @theweasleysredhair @harrysweasleys @starlightweasley @valwritesx @pit-and-the-pen @writesowhatnext and i’m blanking because i totally suck but anyone else who wants to do this!

#shameless self promotion #erica blogs #fic recs

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gavinisqueer · 3 years

Note

That moss eyes ask was supposed to be "haha funny cursed" but you turned it into something so beautiful that now I have to write a fic where Gavin dies and Nines wants to be with him in the afterlife so he lays down next to Gavins grave, enters stasis and just,,, doesnt come out. He becomes sort of a spectacle; a seemingly lifeless chassis - save for the led on his temple - left at the hands of the elements until he finally runs out of thirium to keep him alive. Nobody dares to touch him, either, so the area around his body gets over grown and he sits there covered in moss and vines, weeds and flowers.

And then one day- be it fifty or a hundred years later, nobody really knows - the dimming yellow light on his temple flickers out and he's gone.

Anyways, time to cry. -O🐝

Wow. Why would you hurt me like this.

The idea that me and my friends came up with was that Nines got overgrown w plants over a period of a few hundred years after humanity fell from glory, and is found by fae!Gavin who revives him with magic and makes the plants part of him.

#asks

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writingkeepsmewhole · 4 years

Text

I Need You

This is part 11 of The Cowboy and the Girl. It’s been forever I know. This fic is kinda hard to write. Gotta be in the right head space haha. Anyway here it is hope you like it.

Fic Summary: Trish remembers a dark part of her past.

Joel Miller x OC Trish

Warnings: Language, attempt at suicide, talk of murder,

I would love tag you: @amandamaesweetheart @jodiereedus22 @el-dibidibidorado1 @yourgirltaz @lemondropirwin @iovemoon @lookinsidemyhead @my-awakened-ghost @avengerssstuff

Part 1 Part 10

I woke up to my mouth dry, that plus the thumping in my head told me I was most likely dehydrated.

Joel was nowhere to be seen but Ellie was putting her blanket inside her backpack.

“Where’s Joel?” I ask as I push myself up from the floor falling off the bean bag chair at some point in the night.

“No good morning?” She asks, smiling at me.

“Sorry, good morning.” I say getting my own bag to pack up.

“Joel went to go get Bill, guess he’s in a hurry to get rid of me.” She says shrugging, her eyes downcast.

“Don’t take it personally he’s in a hurry to get rid of me too.” I say despite what happened last night.

“Why do you say that? I got the feeling he likes you.” She says making my heart pick up a bit.

“He tolerates me. I make him like me.”

“So is that what I should do?”

“I think you should just be yourself, because you're awesome.”

“Your right I am pretty cool.” She says grinning.

“What are you two amaering about?” Joel asks walking into the room holding all of our cantens.

“You.” I say honestly watching him left an eyebrow in my direction.

“What about me?” He asks, handing me my canten it full of fresh water.

I quickly open it and take a drink so I don’t have to answer.

“Are you ready to go? I have other crap to do besides help you idiots.” Bill says stomping into the room.

‘How can someone be mad this early in the morning?’ I think as I put my backpack on.

“We’re ready.” Joel says jerking his head towards the door as if to tell us to get going.

I do as he said ready for whatever the day is gonna bring.

That was the thing about the end of the world. You didn’t get to wake up whenever you wanted, have a nice cup of coffee, watch some TV or browse the web. You hit the ground running and you made every little thing count.

It was hard and fast but it was the only way to stay alive.

Maybe that’s why I stuck close to Joel. Him never seeming to crack. He could go for what felt like months without sleep. He was strong and resurfull. They taught us in school that a female picks her mate, whoever is the strongest. In this world, I understood that.

Joel knew exactly how to lead us through anything.

He walked through a yard full of clickers like he was taking a stroke through the park. My heart was beating out of my chest the whole time but Joel knew when to stop and when to go.

I watched as he would use a bottle or a brick to distract them. Him using the bow we found yesterday to take out the runners.

I would sometimes get lost watching him. I knew it was stupid and pointless but I couldn’t stop the pull I had towards him.

I hated it truthfully. I knew getting attached to someone always ended in pain. The still fresh loss of Tess proved that.

Joel was cold but he was colder since it happened. I think we all were. None of us spoke as we snuck around the infected town trying not to get eaten alive.

But there was just something different about today. Something in my gut that I couldn’t shake. It hit me like a ton of bricks as we walked through a house a dead guy hanging from the ceiling. This could all be over in a split second.

“He killed himself?” Ellie asks but it sounds more like she was shocked.

“Yeah come on you don’t need to see this.” I say grabbing her wrist gently, pulling her back outside.

“I’ve seen worse.” She says making my heart clench.

“Well that doesn't mean you should see more horrible things.” I say take a breath.

“Are you okay?” She asks looking at me as I lean on the side of the house.

“Yeah, I just know what it’s like to be in that headspace. It’s not the best place to be.” I say memories filling my mind.

I sat on the wet ground, my hands numb, my breath puffing out in a cloud. Rain poured down on me but I didn’t move. I stayed on my knees, it was how I fell after I took another life.

I was surrounded by corpses. Not the infected kind but the very human kind. Most people would claim they had to. There was no other choice. But that’s not true. I could have talked, told them what they wanted.

That would have stopped them, or at least kept them from using me the way they wanted. I guess that didn’t matter now. It was too late.

I was covered in their blood in the literal sense. My clothes were torn and ripped. I could feel my muscles twitch the adrinial still pumping thru my veins. My heart, fighting to keep me alive in the condition I was in.

But I didn’t care, I felt numb. But why wouldn’t I be? I was a killer. The lifeless child in front of me was proof of that. Him killed by me before I even thought about it.

His father was the first to go, him leaving me laying the mud after he forced himself on me. Him not realizing he left a knife behind.

It's funny how fast you can kill someone with a blade. Your brain just cuts everything off, you black out and wake up to carrange.

It is most likely why Joel left me behind. Him seeing me black out like this one too many times. Waking up alone then being ambushed and taken away for days makes you care less about the people around you and care more about how to get out alive.

I jump when hands grab my shoulders. With the survival knife still in my hand I lift it ready to kill again before I even think about it.

“Trish it’s me.” Says a hoarse voice.

I blink away the rain looking up into the bruised face of Joel Miller.

“What happened?” He asks, pulling off his flannel and laying it over my shoulders.

It made me realize how bad I was shaking.

I drop the knife falling backwards, the mub slapping around me.

“I-I killed him.” I say looking at the kid.

“What happened?” Joel asks again, moving to help me to my feet. Them asleep, sharp tingles shooting through them.

My knees buckle under me, Joel catches me before I fall him letting out a grunt as he does. I look at him seeing a bleeding wound on his shoulder and maybe his side. All I could see was blood coming through his soaking wet white T-shirt.

“They took me.. I..” I don’t finish my sentence as Joel helps me walk to the nearest run down house.

Us in an abandoned trailer park. It growed up with weeds, and trees.

“They took me too. I thought they might have killed you. You had me worried.” He helps me into the house.

It wasn’t much warmer than it was outside but at least I wasn’t getting rained on.

“You didn’t leave?” I ask looking up at him, surprised and relief filling my voice.

“Why would I leave? We make a good team, even if you are annoying.” He says setting me on the bed in one of the bedrooms.

“I’m a killer.” I say that explaining why anyone would leave.

“You and me both sweetheart.” He says turning away from me to dig through the dresser.

“They had me locked in here, trying to beat information out of me. I kept telling them they had the wrong guy.” He says sitting next to me with first aid supplies.

“I killed that kid.” I say looking at him feeling tears fill my eyes.

“You didn’t mean to.” He says gently pushing his flannel off me.

“How do you know?” I ask softly.

“You love kids. He surprised you I’m guessing.”

I nod the memory of it fresh in my mind.

“It’s okay, just try to forget about it.” He says looking me over for wounds.

Besides the busted lip and black eye I got while killing them I was wound free. Them preferring to use rape instead of there fist or wepons on me.

“You need to rest. I’ll leave you alone.” Joel says but it sounds far away.

I nod barely noticing him leaving and closing the door behind him.

I sit there staring at the wall. Replaying the events from today over and over in my head. I sat there even after it got dark.

I realized that it didn’t bother me as I sliced through those people. It was like second nature almost. I remember when I killed for the first time it bothered me for weeks and now I didn’t even think about it.

It was so easy to me I killed a child without thinking about it. Without pausing to see what I was doing.

I was a horrible person. I’ve become like the men inside that storage container. Something I swore never to do. I didn’t deserve to live.

As the thought whispered through my mind I knew it was true. I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t go on like this. The world didn’t need another mindless killer like I was becoming.

I looked around the room seeing a pistol on the dresser I stood up and grabbed it. It was cold and harsh in my hands. Like I never held one before. The weight almost seemed like too much as I lifted it to my head.

One bullet and the world would be a better place. It would be better off. Joel would be better off. I was annoying, I slowed him down. I was a monster.

Placing my finger on the trigger I could feel my hand shaking. My mind is having a war with itself. But the image of that child laying in the mud kept coming to the front. Telling me what I really was. What had to be done.

I didn’t flinch or make a sound when the door opened. Joel stood there with a lantern.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asks his voice thick and angry.

As if the weight of the gun became too much it fell from my hands just as I fell to my knees. Hot fat tears rush down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” I mumble looking up at him.

He sighs, placing the light down he moves to sit next to me.

“You’re a fucking idiot. What do you think you were gonna accomplish doing that?” He surprised me by wrapping his arms around me.

“I became a horrible person. I-.”

“Shhs with all that. You ain’t no worse than me.”

I don’t say anything, not knowing what to say. How do you explain the feelings I was feeling?

“Don’t ever try to do something like that again.” He says lifting my head makes me look at him.

His face shadowed by the dim light in the room but despite that I thought I saw tears in his eyes.

“I need you so you can’t be killing yourself.” He says letting go of me and moving to stand up.

I quickly reach out grabbing his wrist making him stop.

“P-please, don’t go.” I whisper my voice cracking.

He nods offering his other hand.

“Come on you need to sleep.” He says softly.

I place my hand in his letting him pull me to my feet. He leads me to the bed and pulls the covers back.

I climbed into the bed, Joel joining me on the other side after he turned off the light. I shiver the room seeming so much colder now.

I wasn’t numb or full of adrenaline so I was suddenly feeling everything again. I move closer to Joel without thinking, jumping when a jolt goes through me the moment my hand bumps his. His touch shocked me. Him grabbing my hand tightly.

Joel was lying on his back, his other hand tucked under his head. I was laying on my side facing him. My mind was fried from the past few days but I couldn’t sleep. The memories of what I did, of what happened to me not letting me rest.

I couldn’t tell if Joel was asleep. His eyes closed but that was it.

“Are you awake?” I softly ask if I woke him up but I was scared of what I would do if I laid there alone with my thoughts.

“Yeah, what is it?” He says roughly.

I chew my lip not having anything particular I wanted to talk about. I just needed a distraction.

“Did you mean it? That you need me?”

“I said it didn’t I?” He says harshly.

“Yeah, I just didn’t know if you meant it.”

“I wouldn’t have said it. Now I need you to go to sleep.” He says turning over to face me, his hand leaving mine.

“I can’t.” I whisper softly.

“I know. But you need to.” He says softly.

He places his hand on my face gently stroking my cheek.

“Just close your eyes and think happy thoughts.”

I nod my head doing what he says praying it works. The soft caress of his hand helped me to drift off into much needed sleep.

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hy-cks · 4 years

Text

Thank you for tagging me @haechanlegs and @haechaaaaaaanssi <3 haven’t done something like this in a while!

tagging: @hyuck-obsessed @insomni-writing @nsheetee @tugbaturn or aaanyone else

name: Bronwyn

nicknames: These days - love, baby, sunshine, p-pR-PRINcEss (jk)

height: 158cm??

languages: ................English. I’ve taken Chinese and French but am nowhere near fluent.

nationality: American........... stress.jpeg. I’m located vaguely near DC.

favourite season: Fall or spring! Love them all though tbh.

favourite flower: Little tiny wildflowers, any variety! This is coming from someone who used to work in a huge greenhouse for over a year sadfjhgk. Me: chooses weeds. But I love all flowers, I kind of have to. actually no, I’m so done w poinsettias

favourite scent: Fresh linens, soil after it rains, the breeze during forest hikes, that warm spring meadow scent, lychee, peony, rose, jasmine, honeysuckle, eucalyptus, cloves, rosemary, those kinds of bright scents! Only very light fragrance though or else I’m overstimulated. But lowkey who doesn’t love the scent of curry.

favourite colour: It rotates, but generally purples, blues, pinks, berry, blue-greens - everything on the cool spectrum these days!

favourite animal: Kitties, snails, anything cute and round that you want to hold and gently squish

favourite fictional character: the version of me that actually publishes fic instead of theorizing over possible plotlines (jk, favorite character out of anything is always the one that has the most character growth or experiences the most change throughout the span of the series)

average hours of sleep: It can vary from 5hrs (on work nights when @hyuck-obsessed is too funny or cute for me to put my phone down) to 8hrs (on weekends where I don’t have to set an alarm)

coffee tea or hot chocolate: light roast coffee, so fragrant and pungent <3 or earl grey / jasmine tea

number of blankets you sleep with: ok look, it’s complicated - it’s like three and also none, because I love the weight but can’t deal with heat rn as it’s summer

dog or cat: 100% cats

dream trip: Let’s go to some villages in Japan or some mountains in Europe.

followers: Between here and d-nghy-ck, around 1k! That’s kind of crazy! My empire of Hyuck enthusiasts.

blog established: This one, July 2019. Fic blog, December 2019. I am a baby NCTzen pls be kind

random facts: I’ve started growing salad and it is VERY cute. I wish I could say I used to breakdance like Janna HAHA

Look at my baby sprouts!!

#ty for the tag cuties!!#my banter

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wholesome-revelry · 5 years

Text

fic: “Long-Term,” Aziraphale/Crowley, outsider POV | 1.6K, G

(Nominally a sequel to this)

Officiating weddings has got to be one of Dr. Blackwell’s favorite parts of ministry, and although she’s probably not supposed to have preferences, if she looks deep into her jaded lesbian heart with any degree of honesty, queer weddings are by far the best.

Take, for instance, the couple she’s consulting with this afternoon, for their upcoming October ceremony. Seemingly mismatched in every respect. The plump, fair-haired one looks like a parody of an absent-minded professor, as sketched by someone who didn’t bother to do much actual research; his clothes are so outdated it teeters on costume. He’s wearing a bowtie, and not in that reinvented hipster way. This is a bowtie unacquainted with the cycles of fashion, a bowtie that has never heard the word irony.

His partner is a rangy, black-clad ginger in snakeskin boots. He has the look of a hungover rocker about him, and would somehow, even without the sunglasses he has fully committed to wearing indoors on a cloudy afternoon. He’s sprawled almost defiantly in his chair and keeps throwing dubious glances around Dr. Blackwell’s office, as though expecting a lightning bolt to strike him down for merely daring to be within spitting distance of a church.

Everything about his posture screams ‘Extremely complicated feelings about religion ahoy!’

Ex-Catholic, Dr. Blackwell thinks sagely.

Something funny about their names, too. Their names are--

They’re--

(She knows they both gave her their names, but as she looks at their faces, there is a curiously name-shaped hole where the sounds should go. Every time she approaches the edges of this thought, it ripples and changes shapes, and whispers, ‘Don’t worry now, it’s really of no consequence, is it?’

Dr. Blackwell didn’t get a degree in Unitarian Universalist theology by looking away from paradoxes. ‘Curiosity is earthly and holy and wonderful,’ she tries to tell the thought, pushing forward, ‘even to question truly is an answer--’

‘Ah yes,’ the thought says after her third attempt, ‘very nice, but in this particular case--’ and the absence where their names should be yawns, stretches, and swallows down all of her related concerns with a shrug.)

She blinks. She watches as Bowtie casually takes Sunglasses’ hand, as Sunglasses responds with a look so gooey and sweet and private that she feels a bit weird for intruding. How, she thinks, the fuck did you two meet?

The only thing they seem to have in common, beyond their feelings for each other, is a certain aura of personal disaster. Still, let she whose outfit doesn’t heavily feature Birkenstocks and cat hair throw the first stone. So to speak.

“So,” says Dr. Blackwell, “anything in particular I should know first? Any thoughts, or concerns?”

“The hymns,” says Bowtie, “or. Uh. The songs, I suppose?” He coughs. “Any chance we could stick with ones that don’t, you know, prominently feature--?” He pointedly casts his eyes towards the ceiling and almost seems to mutter, “No point in asking for trouble.”

“Oh, of course,” she says, shaking off the flash of weirdness like an errant cobweb. “We have plenty of non-denominational hymns.”

“About what,” Sunglasses says with a slight sneer. “Tax forms? Penguins? Automotive repair?”

Oof. Definitely an ex-Catholic, she thinks. You can smell the baggage from here.

“Mostly about the inherent holiness in doing good, or the beauty of nature?” says Dr. Blackwell. “Sometimes, someone will sort of retrofit a classical melody to Transcendentalist poetry, but those tend not to scan so well, in my opinion.”

Somehow, without any eye contact, Sunglasses manages to give her a wary look.

“You can borrow a hymnal if you’d like,” she continues. “We tend to edit out the G-word anyway. Makes the atheists and the agnostics a bit jumpy, me included.” Bowtie starts.

“You don’t,” says Sunglasses, “believe in--?”

“Not really,” says Dr. Blackwell. “Suppose I’ll allow for the possibility, but in my mind, the existence of some divine Heavenly will is just not as important as other questions. Like ‘How do I do what’s right for the planet and everything on it?’”

“How do I avert the apocalypse,” Sunglasses murmurs.

“Exactly,” she says with a laugh, “although I’d settle for doing something about Brexit.”

Neither of them laugh, and after an awkward pause, she adds,

“As far as music goes, for the ceremony. If you’ve got a song that really resonates with you, no matter what it is, let me know and we can work that in.”

“No Queen,” says Sunglasses immediately.

It feels like there should be a story here, but Bowtie only turns to him and says, “What was that band you liked? Velveteen--”

“We’re not playing Velvet Underground at our wedding,” Sunglasses says.

“Same thing goes for readings, too,” says Dr. Blackwell. “If there’s a text that holds special meaning--”

“Hm,” says Bowtie, “yes, about that--” He reaches to his side and heaves an antique leather briefcase onto her desk. “May I?”

“Of course.”

Bowtie fiddles with the latch, which clicks open to reveal a mountain of papers: wine-stained cocktail napkins and looseleaf notebook pages, parchment-looking stuff, and everything in between. It’s a veritable avalanche of love poems, as well as quotations from various plays and books, all laboriously hand-copied in the same tidy penmanship.

“Angel,” says Sunglasses slowly. “What is this.”

Pink-cheeked, Bowtie flutters his hands. “Just--some things I’d been setting aside!”

“For how long,” Sunglasses says, leaning forward. He sounds delighted but also deeply confused.

“So sorry,” Bowtie tells Dr. Blackwell, “I really should’ve organized these better! Even a rudimentary system--”

“It’s fine,” she says, blankly. She really hopes it isn’t going to be her job to narrow down the options. There are literally hundreds.

“How long,” Sunglasses repeats.

“You know how long!” hisses Bowtie.

Sunglasses plucks a sheet off the pile, rubs it between his thumb and finger. “They stopped making paper like this in the nineteenth century,” he says, sounding strangely triumphant about it.

Dr. Blackwell furrows her forehead, where a number of facts are colliding uncomfortably inside, like how some of these specimens are clearly very new, some are so old she’d be uncomfortable touching them with her bare hands, and the handwriting on every one of them is identical.

“Oh!” she says with sudden bright clarity. “Are you two vintage paper enthusiasts?”

“Yes,” says Bowtie. “Love it, love the stuff, simply cannot get enough.” And then, to Sunglasses, with a pointed look in Dr. Blackwell’s direction, “We’ll talk about it later.”

Maybe they met at a convention, she thinks. That’s nice.

“How about you pick out your top five first?” she suggests. “Or ten.” She glances down at the mound of text. “Also, we might need to get some volunteer readers for some of these, because my French isn’t exactly up to par. Or my--is that Middle English?”

“Haha, how did that get in there, couldn’t even begin to guess,” Bowtie babbles. He has to brace most of his weight on the briefcase lid to wrench it closed again. Sunglasses watches with interest, chin resting in his hands. “Yes, I will, I will absolutely weed some of these out, not to worry--”

The rest of the conversation is standard, for the most part. It’s going to be a relatively small ceremony, no child ring bearers and thankfully no animal ones either. (They have a whiff of eccentricity that had made Dr. Blackwell nervous one of them might suddenly produce a cat on a leash, insisting it was trained. In her experience, granting your beloved calico or tabby custodianship of the rings was a quick recipe for a ringless, catless wedding.) Only a shared stricken look at the possibility of involving any parents in the proceedings.

This, sadly, is also quite standard with older queer couples.

“Between you and me,” says Dr. Blackwell, “and I know this isn’t very ministerial of me. But if the people who raised you don’t support what you have together, which is clearly a wonderful and beautiful and life-affirming thing, I say to Hell with ‘em, you know?”

Bowtie chuckles unsteadily. “I’ll take that under advisement.”

“How long have you two been together?” she asks.

Bowtie and Sunglasses stare at each other. There is a long beat of silence. This is normally, she thinks, not a very hard question.

“How long have we been together?” says Sunglasses at last. The shades may hide his eyes but every molecule of his being is oriented at his fiance. “Hm?”

“Six thousand--” Bowtie starts, resolute.

“What,” says Dr. Blackwell.

“Days!” Bowtie finishes. “Six thousand days!”

“So,” she does some fast mental math, “about sixteen years, then?”

“Yes,” says Bowtie decisively.

“That’s great,” says Dr. Blackwell. “I’ve been with my wife for almost six years, I hope we’re still this much in love a decade from now.” There’s just something so reassuring about meeting older queer couples, she thinks. Bowtie and Sunglasses must be at least forty. Maybe fifty?

(It’s odd; they’re clearly solid, clearly sitting in front of her, but every time she tries to clue into any specific detail about either of them, her mind sort of skitters away from it--

Her head hurts.)

“Guessing you want a short service,” she says, rubbing at her forehead. “I’ll just write out a few remarks for you two to look over first, if that’s alright? I can email something to you by the end of the week.”

“Sounds perfect!” says Bowtie.

They shake hands. She watches them leave, watches Sunglasses mutter something in Bowtie’s ear that makes him smile on the way out the door.

Pair of oddballs, but in a nice way, she thinks. You can’t always tell, as a minster, which couples are going to make it in the long run, but she hopes this all works out for them. Maybe it will. They’ve already stood the test of time, it seems.

Sixteen years--they’ve been together since early 2000.

Imagine, she thinks. Just imagine.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #codename pending #sort of a pre-marriage fic #99% fluff and 1% soft eldritch horror #not sure about ao3ing this one bc it's just so self-indulgent

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jjsjuiceboxx · 4 years

Text

LOVE TRIANGLE

POPExREADERxTOPPER

REQUESTED FOR: @letsgofullkook

SUMMARY: a love triangle between readerxtopper and readerxpope

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️: underage drinking, smoking, cuss words, angst.

︎A/N- revamping my stuff so I’m just editing for decoration and stuff to make it pop more and draw attention ( no changes to the actual fic ), happy reading :).

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

You were currently on hms pogue with John B, Kie, pope, and JJ you were zoning out looking how the suns reflection could be seen from the water of the marsh, you were pulled out of your thoughts when Kie started to talk about the kegger tonight at the boneyard.

“ok so who is going to bring what?“ Kie asked looking to everyone expectantly.

Across the boat you can see JJ smirk “you all already know I’ve got the weed.”

“I’ll have the kegs filled up and take them both to the boneyard.” John B stated

You were about to speak but was cut off suddenly when you felt a cold chill approaching, “hey are you ok y/n?” Pope asked you slightly concerned.

“Yeah dont worry Pope I just got a cold chill suddenly it’s gone now tho.” You smiles sweetly at him for even noticing and then instantly be concerned Pope eyed you suspiciously he could still see chill pumps on your arms so he walked to his bag and pulled out his hoodie, his favorite one that he won’t even let John b or JJ wear.

Instead of Pope handing it to you he put it over your shoulders letting you slip your arms into them then he zipped it up for you, you blushed at the action heart pounding pope smiled at you.

“Really she can wear your hoodie without asking but when we ask nicely you don’t let us? Man I even say please I never say please!” JJ explained shocked

“She isn’t a cluts like John b and doesn’t spill beer everywhere and I cannot have you making my hoodie reek of weed, besides it’s Y/N we are talking about she doesn’t need to ask” Pope state’s non challenger

“Wow pope you’re a changed man.” Kie said laughing at the end and sending a wink your way

You were close with all the pogues but you and kie were the closest gossiping with one another about kooks and the boys while you did face masks and painted each other’s nails she knew you had a crush on pope which is odd considering he isn’t your type but he is so smart and it’s almost mysterious and he isn’t afraid to tell random people he wants to be a coroner and then proceed to tell them facts about what happens after you die and you couldn’t help but catch feelings.

“Wow pope you’re a changed man.” Kie said laughing at the end and sending a wink your way.

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

You and the rest of the pogues were now at the boneyard setting up for the kegger kie brought chips and a speaker to blast music, John b had the kegs and was setting them up, JJ sat down on a big fallen tree with his small contribution his weed, pope had a cooler with ice and more drinks inside while you carried a beach chair and solo cups kie also had you pick up straws for some of the beer in the cooler and it HAD to be recyclable.

“Y/N you know even at parties we have to save the turtles and other animals and our only earth.” She said seriously when you went to object she gave you a stern look.

“Yeah yeah....right the straws” you said kinda scared

“recyclable straws recyclable is important” she hollered after you now you were putting the straws on the table and putting solo cups out to be easily grabbed when you saw a few kooks show up a little earlier probably to set up their own beers and what not

But you couldn’t help but think Topper would be here yes he was dating Sarah but he always flirted with you before and during the relationship you at first hated it but one day when he stopped you realized you miss it so you decided the next time you saw him you would flirt first and so you did he then offered to get you a coffee and eat and you really got to know topper not kook topper, he hated pogues and was rude to them but he has never said anything bad about you atleast not to your face he always bullied the others.

As more people showed up you started to get anxious about toppers arrival you knew he was coming he always does the question was when ? And do you go up and talk to him ? When it’s just him and you you guys always talk about real stuff and you see that topper is just like the rest of us just slightly more perfect and put together.

You decided to start getting drunk to calm your nerves once you had two cups you were tipsy still sober enough to remember things and control yourself but a lot more relaxed and care free you saw pope walk away from taking to a girl and decided to dance with him.

“Pope come dance with me I love this song” you said cheerfully while spinning around

“Fine but If you get sick from spinning I’ll be mad” he laughed grabbing your hand

You and pope danced for 30 mins or something laughing and joking around and then suddenly you caught a glimpse of a tall tan boy with frosted tips along with Sarah and Kelce right by his side a slow song was playing and pope had you facing the entrance to the boneyard suddenly you and topper made eye contact he Gave you a slight nod in which you returned with a smile but it suddenly shifted when he looked away shaking his head so pulled back from pope and started taking his hoodie off

“I’m getting hot from all the Dancing I’m gunna grab a drink and cool off” you told him Pope pulled you into a tight hug that lasted about a minute.

“Thank you for dancing with me I’ve always wanted to slow dance with a pretty girl.” Pope stated shyly scratching the back of his head.

“Aww I’ll slow dance with you anytime handsome” you said blushing getting on your tip toes and kissing his cheek letting it linger for a bit you back off seeing him blush under the moonlight you handed him his hoodie and walked to get a drink.

While waiting in the line for a drink you looked up to see Sarah climbing a red buoy and Kelce and topper trying to get her down safely you looked away not wanting to catch their eyes. You hadn’t noticed but topper gave up as Sarah was being rather difficult while kelce climber up with her to pry her hands off the top of the buoy.

You felt a light tap on your shoulder prying your eyes away from John b trying to impress tourons by juggling some beers, your eyes met a pair of eyes you were all familiar with, topper.

“Hey there ken of the outerbanks, hows it hanging in the Barbie dream house?” You questioned amused

Topper laughed at your nickname you gave him “it isn’t the Barbie dream house when she isn’t my Barbie you’re” topper declared

You and topper during many of your hang outs tho you like to calls them private dates where you just talk and laugh he was wearing a bright salmon polo and khaki shorts with a belt and some sperrberrys to match and let out a little chuckle and said he looked like your old ken doll you have “accidently” taken from school, oops.

Topper laughed “ok ok fine I’ll take it but you have to be my Barbie” he said laughing

“Ok I’ll be the Barbie to you ken”

And hence the day the nicknames had been born. By this time it was your turn to get your drink topper took your cup and filled it up and gave it back to you while he did his.

“Wow who knew topper Thornton could be such a gentlemen” you mocked

“Oh haha you’re so funny aren’t you Barbie” topper said sarcastically

You were about to come up with a remark when he suddenly turned to you stopping you in your tracks looking at you seriously.

“Hey can we like uh talk somewhere?” He questioner awkwardly.

“Yeah of course top Ik a good place” you motioned him to follow you in a set of bushes near the woods looking around once you got there for any horny drunk teens only to find none.

“Is everything ok topper? You’re never really serious unless something is wrong” you said worrying you know a conversation with topper was serious when you said his name and not a nickname.

“I know you’re friends with pope and I’m with Sarah but I can’t talk to Sarah or rafe and Kelce the way I can with you I feel like the real me I had forgotten about and you help me find it again, I don’t know I guess I got slightly jealous seeing you dance with Pope and laughing while wearing his hoodie” topper said quickly

You put your hands on either side of his cheek making him look you in the eyes you stared at him in an adoring way “topper I feel the same but I’m a pogue you’re a kook even though we understand one another not everyone can see it that way, I mean rafe could unfriend you Sarah wouldn’t be around and I don’t want you to lose that because of me” you said softly

“I know I know it just sucks because I do really like you I want To be with you, don’t get me wrong I like Sarah too but I feel pressured because of my parents saying and putting words into my head makes me wonder if I really like her or if I just think I do, but one thing for sure I know I like you” topper stated stepping closer

By this time Sarah was looking for topper him being gone far to long for “getting a drink” when she neared the keg topper was no where insight “hey kie I know you hate me but have you seen topper? He was getting drinks and now he is gone” Sarah explained looking around

“ I saw him walk down the beach following someone too dark to tell who, I know what you’re thinking that I’m saying that to upset you like or whatever but I’m not” kie defended rolling her eyes.

“No I can tell when your lying I believe you thank you” Sarah said walking off in the direction joe pointed too.

“Topper I like you too but I don’t know how this could work and I don’t want to hurt you saying this but I also like pope but we don’t flirt nearly as much as we do he doesn’t know I like him” you said looking down not wanting to hurt him

“ hey hey it’s ok friends who spend all the time together are bound to catch feelings whether it’s one sided or not I’m not upset thank you for being honest” he said smiling softly tucking some hair behind your ear you smiled leaning into his soft touch.

Pope was a little further down the beach then Sarah was pope sat in front of the fire with a marshmallow on a stick while John b laughed at pope trying to teach JJ how to roast a perfect marshmallow for the worlds best s’mores, “JJ you need to hold both hands one on top of the other at the bottom of the stick and then push your marshmallow down at the top till the stick poked through the marshmallow so it won’t fall into the fire and waste the marshmallow, then you hold it just above the flames. No not like that it’s too close you will catch the marshmallow on fire....again. Now you wait 5 mins then rotate it to the other side and then wait 5 mins and do the same all over so it gets a perfect brown shade don’t catch it on fire because one it’s bitter two it is a lot more hot and three some sparks could be left on it that you can’t see and will burn the shit out of your tongue possible 2nd degree burn that grants a hospital visit now you see mine is perfectly brown on all sides now you take your graham crackers and put the marshmallow on one then the chocolate then you sandwich it all together like so and bam you’ve got yourself the worlds best s’more” Pope said with a chefs kiss after he did a technical tutorial on the proper way to make a smore for the poor boy who has never learned how.

“Eww mine looks like toe cheese” JJ said grimacing.

“ I don’t want to know why you know that man.” John b said watching it play out amusingly.

“Just eat it JJ it’s good the best ever honestly, off topic have you seen y/n I havnt seen her in 30 mins” pope asked curiously

“Aww pope you have a crush on the baby pogue” JJ said teasingly

“JJ leave him alone who cares if he likes her damn, but uh I saw her walk the way” John b Pointed in the direction you had went

Pope stood up nodding his head going in that direction to look for the girl he was soo in love with still ahead of Sarah.

You could feel the tension between you and topper being so close to one another he started to lean on slowly and you did too not being in control of your body you were so lost in his eyes your lips finally touched and it was slow and passionate and it felt like time has stopped just as it was getting more heated you heard a twig snap and looked behind topper to see a wide eyed pope standing there.

“ y/n....what’s going on why are you kissing topper ???” Pope asks shocked

“I..I” you stuttered startled that pope who you like caught you kissing another guy you also like

“Topper you there?” You heard Sarah’s voice from behind a tree

“He’s right here” Pope deadpanned looking you straight in the eye

“ topper there yo- what are you two doing?” Sarah asked confused

“We were just talking babe.” Topper said softly

“Yeah If by talking you mean tongues in each other’s mouths” pope said angrily

Sarah stares between you and topper shocked “is..is this true topper?” Sarah asked quietly when topper looked down and didn’t say anything she knew her answer.

“Wow and after all I’ve told you about my past and you do this, you told me you loved me” Sarah said walking away.

“Pope look I ca-“ you were cut off by pope speaking

“No no you don’t get to talk right now, I thought you liked me? I know you never said it but I can pick up some ques, I gave you my favorite hoodie so you were warm I danced with you and I stood for an hour waiting for you and you never showed. Was I just a toy for you to use when topper isn’t here?” Pope asked sad

“What no of course not I like you a lot Pope I really do, but I also like topper as well and I’m so confused I don’t know why or how anything would work with any of us with the no pogue on pogue macking rule and the whole kook vs pogue thing I...I just don’t know” you said ashamed

“Wow, you were just talking shit about topper the other day and now you like him? I’m sorry y/n I can’t do this right now you don’t like me because if you did you wouldn’t have has another guy so pick topper” Pope said tears in his eyes leaving the seen fast.

You looked at topper tears running down your face he immediately wrapped you In his arms rubbing your head as a loud sob shot out of your body and a bunch of oh my gods.

“Hey hey it’s ok just let him cool down and then you can speak it him rationally I’m not mad you like us both I get it all I ask is that you give me a chance and Pope too and then when you’re ready you can choose who you want or choose neither of us” topper said reassuringly.

You pulled out of his embrace nodding your head as you wiped your tears away planning on what to tell pope when everything is calmed down.

#topper #topper outer banks #topper obx #obx fanfiction #obx x reader #obx #outer banks imagines #topper thorton x reader #topper thorton imagine #pope outer banks #pope hayward imagine #pope heyward

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xoluvx · 5 years

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Hello! How are you? I was wondering if you wouldn't mind writing a fic request? Maybe with Steve Roger's finding out that the person he's dating is a stoner, and she eventually convinces him to try some (bong rip haha). Cute fluff Insues? Thank you 💙

Omg.. I’ve never written a Steve Rogers piece. I think this will be the only time! My knowledge of Steve Rogers is limited & I’m def gonna butcher this 😅 pls enjoy.

Dating Steve was great. Fabulous. Except when you needed to smoke and you went to the only room where you could do it in peace without judgement. Your basement, which thankfully had a small window that aired out the smell.

You loved Steve. Of course you did. But he was .. well Steve. Goodie two shoes Steve. Captain America “don’t do drugs, kids” Steve. And you, well you needed the relieve from work. From life. So your basement was kind of your best friend.

You were leaning against the wall, pipe in hand. In your other hand was your lighter.. with the Captain America shield. How funny, huh? You held the pipe to your mouth, cheeks hallowing as you flicked the lighter on. You watched the weed crinkling, releasing your thumb from the hole in your pipe inhaling the smoke. The familiar feeling infiltrating your lungs.

Repeating the familiar routine, you were just finished inhaling when you heard the stairs creaking. Before you could panic, Steve stood at the end of the stairs. Hand on the railing, eyes confused. Lips in a tight line.

You exhaled, coughing from the premature release of the smoke in your airway. You felt like a child who was about to be in big trouble. So you did what most teens who get caught would do, hide the pipe behind your back and really hope Steve wouldn’t notice.

“Is that?” He motioned towards the pipe behind your back before waving his other hand in front of his face as to bat the smoke that was lingering the air but very obviously would not go anywhere.

You cleared your throat, shoving the lighter in the back pocket of your jeans. You placed the pipe carefully on the window sill, your precious weed shouldn’t have to suffer from this. You approached him at the stairs, your eyes nervous and demeanor up in defense.

“Um. Yeah,” you croaked shrugging watching his face, he was still processing things in his brain.

“But how long?” His voice was flat. Jaw clenching as he folded his arms, his biceps bulging. You let your eyes linger for a few seconds before refocusing.

“I wanted to tell you, but I know you’re you. I know you wouldn’t approve,” you spoke; now really feeling like a child. Nothing really came out of the conversation the two of you had. It was agreed that you were both adults in a relationship and you should act as such. He couldn’t reprimand you for enjoying the occasional joint.

And he didn’t. He respected the lifestyle, though he made it clear it simply wasn’t for him. And you didn’t pry. No matter how much you wanted to get him to try it with you.

Until one night. The night you felt bold. Bolder than usual.

He was reading a book on his favorite couch when your entered the room. Your most valuable bong in hand. Your baby, truly.

“I think it’s time you meet my baby,” you announced walking into the living room. Small pink bong in hand. Fuzzy socks and his t-shirt.

He lowered his book, watching you enter the room. A small smile on your face as you held up the bong. “I know you said you didn’t want anything to do with this. But I really think it can be a great bonding -“

“Okay,” he cut you off before you could finish placing his book on the coffee table. “I’m in,” he said standing. His hands on his hips.

“Okay we should probably go-“ you started. “To the basement.” He finished. You nodded leading the way.

The two of you sat on the run down couch in the basement. The bong rested on your thighs as you broke the nug that would go in the bowl of your bong. “So, think of it like a mission. There’s a plan, right? Certain steps you need to follow,” you rambled holding the bong up gently in your non-dominant hand, the lighter in the other hand. You were careful of the water as you held on to the bong.

You lifted the lighter showing it to Steve. Then you held the bong up to your lips. You pursed them, pushing them into the opening of the small bong before turning the lighter on. Steve watched the way you lightly grazed the bowl, watching it’s contents slowly burn as he heard the sounds of the bubbles forming in the bong. You were a pro. Inhaling smoothly when you removed the bowl from the bong. When you exhaled, you tilted your head back letting yourself bask in the smoke. Flawless execution he thought. No way he’d be able to do that.

But he had to before long you were shoving the bong towards him. He retracted it from your hands carefully. It looked tiny in his hands compared to yours. You whispered some words of encouragement as he pursed his lips repeating the steps. At least, as many as he could remember. He was sure he did it all wrong because he was having a coughing fit after inhaling. Or maybe he did do something right?

“We can stop,” you half laughed half felt bad.

“No, let me try again,” he was determined. If there was one thing you loved about Steve apart from his muscles it was that he was no quitter. And he wasn’t going to stop until he looked at cool as you did in his execution. And you couldn’t help but smile like a doofus because you’d just influenced Captain America to smoke weed. Plus he was your boyfriend and that was the real high.

#steve rogers #steve rogers request #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers blurb #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x reader

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reifromrfa · 6 years

Text

Lovely Zen Week | Day 5: Princess and Knight

Hey guys! I’ll probably be in Japan right now, so I won’t be able to reply to your messages or comments ^^; But this fic is inspired by all the k-dramas I watch lmao :))

I started writing about Zen the knight but then I thought...why not make Zen into a Korean knight? ^^ This is purely a work of fiction of course, and details have been altered for the story! ^^ There’ll probably be loads of discrepancies haha but I hope you guys enjoy ♥

Moonlight Part 1

Hyun Ryu dreamed of becoming a Royal Guard

Defending their land, keeping the peace, and watching over the entire kingdom

He lived for it

His family hated it, of course

Why become a servant of the land when you could live in comfort?

His family was not nobility, but they were scholars who did not need to tend the fields or manage the stables

Not servants

Besides, they did not want the extra attention

Having a son with silver hair was embarrassing enough

Why add to their…oddness?

But Hyun saw the chaos and devastation caused by local bandits and pillagers

Saw how foreign men kept visiting their lands, as though they were interested in the prosperous kingdom

And it was one night, when Hyun was in deep sleep

That a dream —no, a nightmare —flooded his mind

Images of their people, running away in fright

Homes burning, children crying, blood staining the grass in the fields

Blood turning the rivers crimson

The blood of his family on his hands

He woke in a drenched sweat, shivering from the horrifying images

A familiar pull in his gut

And he clenched the sheets on his bed

It was no ordinary dream

In the silver-haired teenager's heart, he knew

The dream would become reality one day

So despite his family’s pleas, he enlisted in the kingdom’s army and lived in the Royal Palace

They didn’t know it yet, but he would defend them one day

He would miss them terribly, but he can’t let his dream turn into a reality

So Hyun Ryu trained every day, wanting to be the best guard in the kingdom

The moment he entered the Palace, everybody noticed his unique appearance and his handsome features

The Palace ladies would sneak glances at the young boy who trained with the Imperial Army, trading giggles and exchanging longing sighs

But the ladies’ attention only earned jealous glares from the other guards-in-training

Not to mention Hyun’s superiors

They trained him harder than any of the new recruits

Pushed him to his limits

Until late one night, the young boy sneaks out of their quarters and sits by the small pond in the palace

No one could see him as tall weeds and greenery obscured the pond

Hyun Ryu sits by the edge of the water and winces as the fresh cuts on his arm sting

He takes off the top of his robes and lets out a breath

The fabric of his clothes are making his wounds ache

Hyun looks at the bright moon, his resolve wavering

But he knows he cannot give up now

The memory of the nightmare is still fresh in his mind

And he cannot allow his home to go into ruin like his dream

He would do anything to defend it

As he’s deep in thought, the weeds behind him rustle and he tenses, ready to make a run for it in case his superiors found him

But his eyes widen as he sees a young lady stepping out from behind the weeds

She gasps, eyes wide as she takes in the half-naked young man before her

Sitting there with wide crimson eyes, his handsome features accentuated by the moonlight

The young lady averts her gaze and Hyun hurriedly pulls on his clothes

A hiss escapes him as the wounds sting upon rubbing against the fabric and the young lady is drawn towards him, sneaking a glance towards the young man

She spots the gashes on the young man’s body and she unconsciously steps towards him

“Those look painful,” she comments, looking at his chest, at the small scratch marks

Hyun gives her a pained smile as he slowly pulls on his robes

“I fell a lot of times today. The pebbles on the ground kept scraping against my clothes that I tore them and got the scratches. Don’t worry though,” he chuckles, “I heal really fast.”

Then he realizes he’s in the presence of a lady of the palace —one of the court ladies in training?

“A-ah, I’m sorry!” he exclaims but the young lady touches his hand, stopping him from completely putting on his robes

“I can help you,” she says, meeting his gaze

Hyun Ryu gulps

Her hazel eyes are gentle, her hands soft against his callused one

And he lets his clothes fall back down, revealing his upper body to her

The young lady reaches into her clothes and pulls out a small box

“I fall a lot too,” she tells him, not looking at him as she opens the box and dips her slender fingers into some sort of cream

“So one of the physicians gave this to me as a gift, to help with the wounds.”

Hyun inhales sharply as her fingers touch the gashes on his arms

Then he relaxes as the cool cream soothes his wounds, her light touch sending a thousand bolts of electricity throughout his body

It’s as though his senses are heightened; but he can’t notice anything else but her

Her flawless pale skin

The curve of her neck

The shape of her lips

Those mesmerizing eyes…

“What’s your name?” he asks her, his curiosity burning

The girl finally looks at him and smiles

“My name is MC, how about you?”

“I’m Hyun Ryu,” he replies, smiling back at her

“I’m sorry for troubling you, Miss MC.”

“Oh no, it’s alright! I’m glad I can help,” she says to him, moving on to his other wounds. “And please, call me MC.”

“MC,” Hyun says again, liking the way her name sounded

“What are you doing here this late at night, MC? It’s quite dangerous to roam the palace at night.”

MC laughs, “I could say the same about you, Hyun Ryu.”

“Well, I’m going to be a royal guard,” Hyun replies.

“But you’re not yet a guard, so you have no permission to be here as well.”

Hyun chuckles, “Then this will be our little secret~”

MC grins but then her cheeks turn pink and Hyun’s heart does weird flips inside his chest

“A-ah, Hyun…your chest.”

Hyun looks down and notices that she had put the cream all over his wounds, except for the ones on his chest

He turns red as well

“You don’t have to do that, MC,” he says, suddenly feeling nervous, “I already feel ten times better!”

He pulls on his clothes as MC settles into the space beside him

He looks at her and she’s staring at the moon

Hyun wanted to ask what she is thinking, but decides against it; it isn’t any of his business, and he doesn’t want to scare her away by forcing her to talk to him

So the two settled into a comfortable silence as they watch the moon together

After half an hour has passed, Hyun is startled by a hand tugging at his clothes

When he looks at her, MC hands him the box

“A gift,” she tells him, “for keeping me company tonight.”

Then she gets to her feet

“Wait!” he calls softly

“…Can I see you again, MC?”

MC blushes but a small smile plays on her lips

“Perhaps. Good night, Hyun Ryu. Good luck on the training grounds tomorrow!”

He did see her again after that night though

They met up once a week, when the moon was at its highest point in the sky

And they sat by the pond and talked about the most trivial of things

He chuckles as he recalls her words to him during one of their meetings

“Zen.”

“What?”

“You can call me Zen.”

“Why would I call you that, Hyun?”

“Because we can’t reveal our relationship, jagiya. But if you’re in trouble and you need me, just scream out ‘Zen!’ and I will hear you no matter where I am. I’ll run to you and protect you.”

“…Zen sounds like a funny name.”

“Hm? You think it’s funny? Well, I can always think of a different n—“

“I love it.”

“Oh? You do? Jagi, do you mean it?”

MC giggles

“Yes…I love everything about you…Zen.”

Hyun never felt happier in his entire life before

He trains as hard as he can during the day, wanting to be stronger, enduring all the hardships his superiors puts him through

And every night he would lay in his cot, imagining her face in his mind

Excitedly awaiting their next encounter

He already knows it

He is in-love with this wonderful court lady

Even though it is against the rules to have relationships with anybody in the palace

Suddenly, he wishes they were both free from the palace

So they could live a peaceful life together without rules between them

But his dream still haunts him and he holds onto the faces of his family

And he vows to himself that he will save his family and his country first before asking for her hand in marriage

He is finally given a task

All his hard work paid off and despite all the bullying from his comrades and superiors, Hyun Ryu managed to earn their respect

He never gave up and he worked twice as hard as anybody in the army

Due to his age, he would be assigned to guard one of the royal family instead of performing the more dangerous tasks

But if he manages to fulfill his duties well, they may promote him to a higher rank

Hyun can’t wait to tell her all about it

But for now, he makes his way towards a different part of the palace

To where the king’s consorts stayed, along with the other princes and princesses

He reaches the quarters he has been told to guard and he nods to the guard he’s about to relieve from duty

When suddenly, the doors to the pavilion opens

And he stops in his tracks

Because there she is…

Dressed...in regal clothes…

Hyun nearly drops his sword

MC raises her eyes as she descends the stairs, and their gazes meet

He could see her surprise written all over her beautiful face as well

Her foot misses the next step in her shock

And her court ladies scream as MC falls

But Hyun runs forward, dropping his sword to the ground as he reaches for her

MC falls forward and he catches her in his arms, her face dangerously close to his

A blush appears on her face and Hyun is about to speak when the court ladies scream and hurry towards MC

“Princess! Are you alright?”

Princess

Oh God

P R I N C E S S

She tries to stand and Hyun assists her, but she winces and Hyun panics

“M—Princess,” he catches himself before focusing on her, “Are you okay?”

“My foot —it feels like I twisted it,” MC replies

“Princess, let me assist you,” he tells her, before wrapping an arm around her shoulders then bending down and scooping her legs with his other arm, carrying her in his arms

The court ladies assist him into laying her down on her bed but MC isn’t even thinking of the pain at the moment

She’s looking at him, his face merely inches from her, his expression filled with worry

Her heart pounds against her chest as she feels his strong arms around her, lifting her as though she weighed nothing

She’s never seen him in his uniform before, but she knows she will be dreaming about Hyun Ryu like this from now on

He sets her down gently and she resists the urge to cling to him, to ask him never to let her go

But…

But he must hate her now

She never told him she is a princess

A daughter of a concubine…But a princess nonetheless

But how could she tell him? She cherished those nights with him

Would he have treated her the same if he had known she is royalty?

Hyun Ryu looks at her and she stares back at those crimson eyes before he bows and runs off, probably to call the royal physician

MC wonders if it’s the last time she’ll ever be able to talk to him again

…and if it is, then she just lost her chance to tell him her true feelings

Aaaaaaaand I didn’t have enough time to finish this ^^; I still have some stuff in store for this fic and I will finish it when I get home! <3 Sorry for the cliffhanger! ;;; See you guys again in a few days! ^^ <3

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