#where i was also continuously sexually assaulted by my doctor. I would be fucking crazy.

[puppybong]

why was unmedicated andrew hyped up so much & he ended up being like normal

[agustdef]

I Found You

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Hoseok x Doctor!Reader.

Genre: One Night Stand to Lovers; Fluff; Angst; Smut.

Word Count: 25.9K

Warning: Angsty. Language. Sexual activities. Daddy kink. Mild mention of pain within pleasure. 

Rating: 18+.

Banner Maker: @httpangelicjimin​ is the lovely human who dealt with me changing my banner and being willing to change the title on this one when I thought to use it for a story I’d pulled at of my ass at that exact moment.

Beta Reader: @mindays​ is the sweetest bean in the world who betas all my stuff and not only corrects things, but makes me feel like I’m not just writing trash. 

YN just wanted a weekend of peace and doing nothing. She’d spent a week doing twelve–hour shifts at the hospital and despite doing her best to take breaks she was drained. So, when one of the other doctors said they needed to swap their three–day weekend for one she had two weeks later she jumped at the chance.

It was like the universe was on her side. 

So, she’d spent Friday sleeping and eating. Somehow, she’d even managed to get in some yoga, which made her body feel like it was on cloud nine. All the tension and stress of being on her feet melting away. It was just what she needed. 

And she planned to spend her Friday night the same way. Surrounded by snacks as she watched the k–drama Goblin from the comfort of her bed and planned to order dinner as soon as the two leads finally confessed. She was so enthralled with the scene playing out – despite seeing it a million times – that she didn’t even notice the door to her bedroom open and her roommate enter.

It was just as the moment she was waiting for was to happen that she was alerted.

“What are you doing?” Beau asked, well shouted.

Startled, YN whipped her head around to stare at the male, eyes wide and chest heaving. Her heart felt like it was going to jump from her chest.

“What the fuck Beau?” YN said.

All she got was laughter and him plopping down onto her bed, obstructing the view of her TV. It’s when YN tried to push him to the side that she realized the moment had passed and the scene moved on to something else. Her nostrils flared and she glared at Beau, reaching out to slap his arm but hitting his breast instead as he tried to dodge.

“Ow,” Beau whined, swatting her back.

YN slapped his hand before he could though and stuck out her tongue. 

“Ow my ass. You know that’s my favorite,” she mumbled.

Beau stuck out his tongue as well, his hand rubbing the assaulted boob. “Yes, that you’ve seen like three times this month alone.” 

“And that matters because?”

“Because you can wait to see it again and we are going out to a party at the tattoo shop and you have to get dressed.”

The expression of annoyance on YN’s face morphed to that of confusion as she stared her roommate down. She reached up pushing his long, curly hair out of the way to press her hand against his forehead. It felt normal, which couldn’t possibly be right.

“We? We are doing what now?” she asked. 

Beau rolled his eyes and rose from the bed. 

“We are going to Yoonie’s shop and enjoying a tattoo party. You haven’t gone out to do anything in almost two months and you can’t use too tired as an excuse. I want you to go. Yoongi wants you to go. And you know it won’t be crazy, so you’re going.”

Naturally, YN had about twelve different arguments for why she shouldn’t go out, but then she saw Beau pout and something in her black soul couldn’t say no. She’d been impervious to his charms once upon a time, but now she was mush. It was ridiculous. 

Also, she wouldn’t put it past him to Facetime Yoongi who’d smile at her one time and make her crack in an instant. Her roommate’s boyfriend was a kindred spirit and made her soft, so saying no to him felt like committing a crime or something.

How she’d attracted people who could weaken her defenses she was unsure. But she guessed they were nice to have around.

Groaning, she threw her head back. “Fine.”

Beau squealed and immediately turned towards YN’s closet, but that was a no go for her. He’d spend forever in there trying to get YN to wear something slightly more over the top then needed. Which would be done for the sole purpose of trying to put her out there to any of the people at the party so he could convince her to go on a date.

Wasn’t happening.

“Nope. I’ll find something on my own. You go get my curl creme and edge control from your bathroom, because I know you stole it,” YN said.

“I didn’t–”

YN fixed him with a glare before he could continue and he stopped talking though there was an eye roll as he walked out of the room.

“Also, I know you took my high waisted shorts too. Don’t think I don’t,” she shouted after him.

Once she heard a series of words cursing her a smile graced her lips. Getting on Beau’s nerves – even a little bit – was always fun. 

With her temporary privacy YN made a beeline to her dresser. Without much thought, she yanked a pair of high waisted gray shorts from a drawer and slipped them on under her shirt.

She’d decided the weekend would be anti–pants.

After that she found a bra from another drawer and slipped it on up underneath before heading to the closet. Obviously, she wasn’t going to go all out but that did not mean that she wouldn’t at least try to be cute. She searched for a bit before finding a lilac, long sleeved, cold–shoulder top. It was a favorite of hers. Tight and flowy in all the right places. She was forever thankful that she’d been home the day Beau cleaned out his closet and had the chance to snap up a few things.

YN slipped off her shirt and pulled on the top before heading out of the room towards her bathroom. She was met part way by Beau with her hair care products in his hands.

“You’re not going to shower?” he asked.

“I showered three hours ago.”

At that Beau shrugged, but then there was this weird smile that graced his lips. It was one that YN was very familiar with and she’d already started shaking her head.

“Can I do your hair?” he asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you take too long. We wouldn’t leave for another hour at least because you’d overthink if something is even or if it looks good. And I’m guessing we don’t have that kind of time.”

Beau pursed his lips for a moment, but then shook his head. 

“Exactly. So, give me fifteen minutes to do something with it and put on bare minimum make–up.”

He nodded and retreated from the bathroom. “I’ll text Yoonie and then go down to the car.”

YN gave a thumbs up before she got to work. Her make–up was truly bare minimum with some concealer, mascara, and a touch of gloss. Enough to keep her from looking like she’d worked twelve–hour shifts but not too much that she felt the need to do a full face. Then once that was done, she whipped off her bonnet and took down the twists. She’d planned to leave the twist–out in for a few days, but it needed washing so it could come down sooner.

It took her a total of five minutes to get the hair down, placed how she wanted, and her edges laid. A spritz of oil and some mild teasing of her curls and she was pleased. 

She indeed looked cute enough to be happy with herself.

After grabbing her phone, purse, and backup charger she made quick work of slipping on a random pair of shoes and making her way downstairs to Beau’s car. He was pulled up to the door when she arrived, so the moment she slipped in they were off.

For the first ten minutes of the drive they listened to music and belted the lyrics, but just as they grew closer to the shop Beau turned it down.

“You have to be nice to people,” he said, fixing YN with a look that made her close her mouth as she went to protest. “I know you think you’re not mean, but you’re mean. You can’t be mean. Talk to people before you decide they’re dicks and then you can be however you want. But you’re here to have fun, destress, and socialize. Even if it’s only a little. And no, Yoongi and I don’t count.”

YN sighed, but nodded. But then a thought popped into her head.

“So that means–”

Beau cut her off just as he parked behind the shop. “No. No Jungkook or Jin or any of the boys either. You must branch out to someone else.”

Of course, he was right, so she was just going to go with it. Plus, there was one week where all YN thought about in her off time was that she needed to go out more. However, all her friends happened to be busy that whole week and she couldn’t be bothered to venture out on her own.

“Okay, dad.”

At that Beau glared at her before getting out of the car. YN laughed so hard she barely managed to get her belt off and to the back door before he opened it.

Once they were in the building she could hear the faint sound of music playing and it just happened to be a song she loved. YN followed Beau through the backroom to the hallway that led to all the tattoo rooms and then eventually to the spacious lobby area.

There were people loitering about mingling with each other, but it was not as many as YN originally feared. And honestly fewer people than when Yoongi usually threw get–togethers. So, it was a win for her.

The moment they stepped into view most people’s attention turned to them. Yoongi – who was in the middle of a conversation with Jimin, Namjoon, and someone else YN couldn’t see clearly – smiled their way. He broke from the group with his arms opened and Beau moved quickly towards him, but he was bypassed for YN.

As YN wrapped her arms around Yoongi in a tight hug she smirked at Beau over his shoulder. Beau pouted and glared at them.

“Does he look ready to murder us yet?” Yoongi whispered, amusement clear in his voice.

“Nah, just being a big baby.”

At that Yoongi laughed and pulled away from YN, but that didn’t mean he turned to greet his boyfriend. No, instead he reached up and gently pinch YN’s cheek which earned him a slap of the hand.

“Good to see you’re still eating properly with all that work you’re doing. Those precious cheeks looking plumper than usual, baby sister. So cute,” he cooed.

YN rolled her eyes so hard surely they should’ve gotten stuck. Yoongi always got weird when he didn’t see her for long periods of time because of work. It was cute, but also slightly embarrassing. Like the last time he’d called her little sister in a room full of people YN could count the number of people on two hands who tried to process this Korean man calling some Black woman his little sister.

“Of course, I eat. You constantly leave me food or send delivery to my job. Or have Jin come from all the way on the opposite side of the hospital at mealtimes to bully me into eating at specific times,” YN said.

All Yoongi did was smile and wink at her before turning around to face Beau. Of course, Beau tried to maintain his pout, but all it took was Yoongi smiling and kissing him for that to stop. While YN made fake gagging sounds in the background. 

That earned her another glare from Beau, but again it didn’t last long as he looked between her and Yoongi.

“At this point you may as well find a way to adopt her,” Beau said.

“Oh, don’t worry. Mom already has the paperwork going,” Yoongi said.

It was hard to tell if he was joking though. He’d hinted at that before and since his mother had taken to her the same way he had; it wasn’t impossible that it would be a thought. And if YN was honest, she didn’t mind. His family was amazing and she loved them to pieces. They also reciprocated that love and it felt like she’d belonged somewhere for the first time. Like she had family for the first time in years.

YN shook her head as she tried to get her mind from wandering down that path. It wasn’t great and she didn’t want to ruin her night by thinking about someone who didn’t matter to her. Someone who she didn’t matter to.

“Oh, Hobi’s here. You can finally meet him, Sid. You two always manage to never be in the same place at the same time,” Beau said.

Nodding, YN followed them over to where the boys were standing around. Before she could even speak she was wrapped in hugs. And all of them were so tight that she was unsure if they were trying to break her. Once that was done she stepped a bit away so they didn’t think of clinging to her again.

“Hi to you too,” she mumbled while rubbing one of her sore arms.

Jin laughed as he watched her. “That’s what you get when you go MIA for so long. Even I had trouble finding you and we pretty much worked all the same shifts.”

“Maybe you’d find me if you didn’t spend so much time flirting with all the nurses in my department,” she said.

Naturally Jin didn’t mind being called out in the slightest and merely smirked at her. The dork loved himself a little too much sometimes. Or honestly the ladies loved him a little too much. And men. And non–binary people. Just everyone. Everyone loved him a little too much and as a respectful “fuckboy” he ate it all up.

“Before we’re forced to hear about Jin and the new male nurse in cardiology. YN meet Hoseok. Hoseok, YN,” Yoongi said.

Finally, YN glanced the way of the mystery man from earlier and her eyes widened a fraction. She would’ve been embarrassed if his expression didn’t mirror hers. 

He looked almost exactly like that last – and first – time she saw him months ago, except his hair was longer and a light brown. It looked good on him, like way too good that she was imagining how things would have differed if she’d had all that to pull on.

Of course, while she mildly fantasized the others stared them down and descended into confusion when neither spoke a word.

“Uh, y’all good?” Beau asked cautiously. 

“Do you know each other or something?” Namjoon asked.

Not taking their eyes off each other they both nodded. But Yoongi didn’t find that sufficient and pinched YN, drawing her out of the momentary shock.

“Uh, yeah. We met a few months ago in a club,” she said.

Hoseok nodded. “We slept together.”

That made everyone freeze, mouths and eyes opened wide in shock. But that shock did not last long at all.

Yoongi lost it a little. “Oh goodness, no. No. No. No. You made me listen to you go into detail about that. You basically just gave me a preview of my little sister’s sex life. No.”

Hoseok appeared to be embarrassed by that, but not so much that he tried to escape or hide away. And YN was almost equally disgusted, but not because her sex life had been divulged. She had no qualms with that seeing as she’d done the same thing. But thinking about Yoongi knowing anything that happened that night was just so weird. Her body literally shuddered at the thought.

“My bad,” Hoseok said.

“Yeah, your bad,” Yoongi said.

From there silence remained within the group, but then something shifted in Yoongi and he looked ready to square up with Hoseok.

“Did you sleep with her and kick her out? Hoseok, so help me if you treated her like trash I will hurt you.”

YN quickly moved to put a hand on his shoulder and push him back a bit. 

“Whoa, there. None of that happened. We slept together and he offered to let me stay the night. The next morning I got dressed and we said our goodbyes. He was very nice,” she said. 

It took a moment or two before Yoongi calmed down, but when he did he appeared remorseful for his little outburst. And though YN was a little surprised and knew it was unnecessary some part of her was warmed by having someone willing to back her up.

“Sorry,” Yoongi mumbled.

However, despite Yoongi pulling it together, Beau was looking at Hoseok as if not sure if he was upset with him or not. Which was not good seeing as YN knew of the two Beau was most likely to hurt some feelings on behalf of those he cared about. And it didn’t matter how close he was to the other person, if you fucked up, you fucked up and he was going to tell you about yourself.

“Is this going to make things awkward?” Beau asked.

“It shouldn’t,” Hoseok said.

At the same time YN replied with, “Nope.”

That appeased him enough and YN hoped all of it would stop there, but obviously that couldn’t be the case.

“Go talk,” Yoongi said.

“What? Why?” YN whined.

Yoongi fixed her with a serious expression and she knew immediately that he wasn’t going to budge. “Because I need to be sure it won’t be awkward so you need to go talk about this. Also, I just need a moment away from both of you until the mental image stops.”

“But–” Hoseok started.

“Let’s just do it. He’ll push for forever and then it’ll be bigger than it is. Plus, you did just mentally scar him.”

Sighing, he stood straight up and nodded. “Fair.”

YN stepped out of the way so that he could get by and extended her arm in a flourish. 

“Lead the way.” 

And lead he did. Hoseok took her towards the back and didn’t stop until he entered one of the artist rooms. It was one YN had never been in before so she assumed it was his and was proven correct when she saw some polaroids of him tattooing on the wall next to some sketches.

While she took in the space Hoseok had taken a seat in his rolling stool and watched her. He didn’t rush the conversation, just observed her. And from the way he angled down to her lower half when she finally looked his way, he was also checking her out.

YN smirked at that.

“We fucked, it was good, we did it again in the morning before I left, and there are no hard feelings right?”

That made Hoseok laugh. “As blunt as you were then. You keep that up and I might need another round right now.”

“Another round?”

“Yup.”

“Right here?”

“Yup.”

Then it was YN’s turn to laugh. “You must want Yoon to kill you.”

“I’d be fine with that. At least I got to have some great sex before I die. And isn’t that all anyone could ever ask for?”

And just like that she remembered why she’d even wanted to go home with Hoseok that night. His bright smile, the easy back and forth, the fact that she most definitely wanted to sit on his face and he was more than down for that.

From that point in their conversation, they went to talking about the ideal thing to do before death and then somehow got to talking about some YouTube video Hoseok had seen. It reached the point where he whipped out his phone to show her, standing up so she could see better. Though because of the length standing got annoying fast and despite there being a perfectly good tattoo chair that they could recline next to them, Hoseok sat on his stool and pulled YN onto his lap.

They were so wrapped up in what they were talking about and then watching, that neither of them realized how long they’d been gone. Or how that would look.

Yoongi burst into the room suddenly as if to catch them in the act and neither of them even flinched. And despite them clearly not being up to anything he still glared at Hoseok like he was planning his death. 

“What are you doing?” Yoongi asked.

YN shrugged, turning the phone so he could see. “Watching a thirty–minute video about drama in the YouTube beauty industry.”

For a moment Yoongi’s glare stopped and his brows knitted in confusion as he squinted to see the screen. But as quick as his aggression left it returned.

“On his lap?”

“We got tired of standing,” she said.

At that Yoongi raised a brow and gestured to the tattoo chair as if the answer were obvious, and it was but it didn’t really matter.

YN groaned. “It’s not a big deal.” 

“You’re sitting on his lap!”

“Just be happy it’s all I’m sitting on,” she mumbled.

The gasp that left Yoongi afterwards made her aware that she hadn’t said it low enough, and before she could say anything else he stormed out of the room murmuring about needing bleach.

“Wait, Yoon. I’m sorry,” she shouted as she got up and went after him. Though she was laughing so it didn’t make it any better.

From there she was forced to chase Yoongi around the party until he let her hug him and promised not to murder Hoseok. Of course, it took some of Beau’s help for the second thing because any time Hoseok made a case for himself you could tell Yoongi was thinking about it even more.

After that, she moved about talking to the people she knew, but somehow always ended up in some corner talking with Hoseok about anything and everything. It was nice and she didn’t hate being forced out of her home as much. Of course, she was still tired so a good time and a nice conversation didn’t remove the longing fully.

As things winded down and people started to leave the core group – the people who worked there and close friends – all huddled near the waiting area. They all joked around and dragged each other for everything under the sun. Most things weren’t off limits so it led to a lot of dodging random punches to the arms if anyone felt any kind of way. But no one ever crossed a line.

It remained that way until even they got tired and were ready to head home. YN got up from her seat to use the bathroom and Beau hopped up with her.

“I’ll come with you,” he said.

YN paused and turned to look at him with a raised brow.

“Why?”

“Because.”

Arguing was always a choice, but it was also a waste of time and she really had to pee. So, without a word YN turned and headed to the bathroom with Beau hot on her heels. Once inside she was grateful it was two stalls so she had some distance between them, but it wasn’t much since Beau felt the need to lean against the closed stall door as he talked to her.

“So, what are the odds you sleep with Hobi again?” he asked.

YN rolled her eyes. Of course, that’s what he wanted. 

“Moderate to high seeing as I’ll probably see him more often now that he’s not guesting at shops all the time and we’ll be in each other’s presence a lot more. Plus, he is single and I have no objections to sleeping with him if he’s down.”

“Wait. Did you just give in? That quickly? Oh, come on you usually make me work for it or deny, deny, deny until I leave you alone.”

There was the sound of a toilet flush before YN answered.

“Maybe it’s because you’re a nosy Nancy and I know you won’t let this go. Plus, what is the point of lying to you when I’m sure everyone noticed me checking him out more than once in the past few hours,” she said.

With a slightly harder push she indicated her want to exit the stall and Beau moved to let her out. She tried to avoid his gaze, but she saw him in the mirror as she went to wash her hands. 

Beau stared at her with eyes wide, but slowly a smirk graced his lips. Which was all YN needed to see to know he was not done with his questions despite getting an answer from her so easily.

“So, is this a fucking thing or could it be a dating thing? Do I finally get to go on double dates with you again? We haven’t had those since you and that doctor Jin works with broke up.”

“I don’t know. I’m not even saying we’re going to have sex again; I’m saying I’m not opposed. Whatever happens, happens,” she said, but just as she finished rinsing she continued, “And for the love of Zeus please do not mention that man ever again. He’s been trying to enact some sort of at work booty call situation and has Jin passing me notes. I would rather do anything else but remember dating him.”

At that Beau laughed, well more like he cackled. He found amusement in hearing about how that man just didn’t know how to take a hint. Of course, YN’s “ex” had never gone as far as to make her uncomfortable or cross a line, but he was so damn annoying and she was beyond over it.

“Okay, okay. I’ll let it go. And I’ll never bring up Dr. Mistakes–Anal–Beads–As–Candy.”

Before YN could even turn around Beau ran away, sprinting out of the bathroom at a speed he reserved for when he knew his ass was going to be kicked. And YN did plan to kick it but decided not to once she’d gotten out of the bathroom. At least not do it right then, she’d get her revenge another time. An unexpected time. 

So, while Beau ran to hide YN took her sweet time making it back out front. When she appeared Beau was hiding behind Joon and she didn’t even bat an eyelash or glance his way. She wanted to build the fear. 

With their return everyone started to say their goodbyes and gave out an unnecessary amount of hugs. Yoongi had an early morning work thing so he was going back to his apartment, which meant he and Beau being soft on a vomit inducing level for a few minutes. It was a win for YN because she didn’t have to hear them or happen on their naked forms at some point, but as she was forced to see them snuggle into each other and cooing she kind of wished he was coming back with them. Or that Beau was going with him.

Thankfully, Hoseok appeared in front of her and his presence gave her something else to focus on, even if she could still hear them. Though even that went out the window the moment he leaned down to whisper in her ear. 

“I would be more than okay with sleeping with you again. Like very much so down for that to the point that you could ask me right now,” he said.

YN scoffed at that, knowing he must’ve heard Beau in the bathroom. Which wasn’t hard seeing as he’d asked the questions loudly despite them being in the same space.

“Eavesdropping, are we?” YN asked. 

Hoseok laughed and shrugged. “Just in the right place at the right time. And I’m very glad I was.”

“Ah, okay. Well, I’ll make sure to remember your answer to this thing you didn’t eavesdrop on,” she said.

He pulled away, but only enough to meet her eyes. “You should. You should even give me your number so we can maybe make it a thing.”

Though part of her wanted to laugh, something about the eye contact and smooth words made her just hand over her unlocked phone. Which made Hoseok smile wider than she’d seen, something that she thought would be impossible.

Once he put the number in and called himself he handed it back. YN thought he’d give her space after that, but he just leaned in again. That time he was close enough that she felt his breath on her neck and it sent a tingle down her spine.

“Oh, and I’m down for the dating thing too. So, text me when you have the time to let me take you out,” he whispered.

That time a tingle coursed through her for a different reason, and in a different place. 

YN planned to take him up on those offers, but of course work happened. 

Things at the hospital weren’t even hectic, but for some reason she worked ten times more than she had for months. She was in a constant state of movement, to the point where she ate while walking the halls to do things and only ever sat in the car ride home and when she went to bed. Her body wasn’t happy at all, but it knew there was no stopping. 

Or it at least knew that it would get a short break in between and kept going until that time came.

Her work week was at its end on a Tuesday night. It would be almost two weeks off for her since she’d taken on such a workload that she was mandated a longer off time and her vacation time coincided with that. It was a miracle. Or that’s what it felt like with how shitty her day had been.

It was non–stop running around because an accident occurred and she was in and out of surgeries. Nothing she hadn’t experienced before, but on one operating table there was a pregnant woman who’d been on her way in because of labor. In the end she was fine but trying to stop the bleeding and safely deliver the baby was a draining task. 

After that YN was allowed time to shower and eat, because ten hours in surgery was no joke. 

And because of the strenuous work she’d been moved to doing only charts for her last few hours. There weren’t a lot so she trudged along slowly to get them done. She finished her last one about fifteen minutes before her shift was over.

Of course, she usually hid until time was up but something possessed her to go to the nurses’ station to check on things. However, when she arrived at the station she was surprised to see who was standing there.

Jin was flirting with the head nurse as usual, though the woman merely ignored him. It wasn’t like he was one hundred percent serious and she was older and married. Her kids were Jin’s age. So, the young doctor with his smooth words didn’t faze her. But the true surprise was that Hoseok was leaning against the counter next to him talking with a male nurse.

None of them paid her any attention until she got closer and cleared her throat. 

With her presence clear Hoseok turned to her and she watched as his smile grew and though she returned it confusion bloomed.

Naturally, Jin didn’t let her curiosity last too long.

“Looks like Hobi was right on time. Though I’m glad you showed up instead of making me search your hiding spots,” he said.

“Right on time for what?” she asked.

“Oh, he got tired of the conflicting schedules so he demanded to know when you would be free so he could ta–”

Hoseok cut him off, using his hand to cover Jin’s.

“What he’s trying to say is that I wanted to go out with you soon and I thought this was the easiest way. Though it might seem a little creepy, but I’d hope you could look past that since you did joke about the only way this would work is if I were spontaneous. Plus, you said you’re off for a while after today,” Hoseok said.

Though he appeared confident in his words she could see some uncertainty in his eyes. He probably worried he’d crossed a line. And though usually she’d be put off by that, he wasn’t wrong she had said it. Plus, she’d been serious and joking. With the way life was there was always a high chance she’d keep forgetting or having something else to do. Or he’d be busy with work himself.

But got damn was she tired and in no way prepared to go out with anyone. That must have been clear in her expression though, because Hoseok was already talking.

“I know, you’re ending a week of intense shifts. And Jin told me this one was not great by any means. We’re not going out, going out. I had something planned for us to stay in. It could be your place or mine. Nothing crazy or that requires energy or paying much attention. Promise.”

YN pursed her lips for a moment, but she didn’t hate the idea. She was tired, exhausted was probably the better term, but being in the company of someone else in a relaxing environment sounded good.

“That’s fine,” she said.

In an instant she watched all worry leave his face and his smile brighten even more. That time she had no reservations about returning it.

“Let me finish up and go get my stuff and I can meet you at the main entrance?”

“Yeah. I’ll be out front.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

They stood there for a moment staring at each other until Jin got fed up and lightly shoved YN in the opposite direction. After glaring at him she finally made her away around the nurses��� station to talk for a moment with the doctor taking over. It was a few minutes before she headed to the locker rooms and switched from her scrubs to a pair of joggers and a too big hoodie she’d stolen from Yoongi some time ago.

After a quick bye to her people and Jin – who had a few hours more of his shift – she headed to the main entrance. Hoseok wasn’t right in front because that was illegal, so she had to jog a little to get to his car. He leaned over to push the door open for her and she slid in, dropping her small backpack on the floor in front of her.

Once she’d gotten her seatbelt on she expected him to start driving, but after several seconds of nothing she turned to look at him. He wore an amused expression as he watched her.

“What?” she asked.

“You haven’t told me where you would prefer.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

He chuckled at her obvious forgetfulness.

“It’s wherever you want, love,” he said.

“Uh…” 

YN pulled her lower lip between her teeth and nibbled on it while she weighed her choices. At home she’d get comfortable instantly and have everything that she needed at her fingertips. But at the same time she didn’t want to deal with Yoongi being weird and overprotective and she knew he’d be there that night. But Hoseok’s meant spending a night in a bed she was only mildly familiar with, which would end in her waking up more disoriented than usual after a shift like the one she had.

After a minute or so of debate, her sanity won out.

“Yours.”

“Okay then, it shouldn’t ta–”

“But I need to stop by my apartment to get some things–”

They both spoke at the same time and paused when they heard the other. There was silence for a few seconds and then laughter. YN motioned for Hoseok to continue.

“I was saying that it shouldn’t take long. I don’t live far from here. And to answer what you were saying, Beau summoned me to your apartment and gave me that,” he said while pointing to the back seat.

There sat one of YN’s weekend trip bags and immediately she rolled her eyes. Of course, Beau somehow foresaw that she’d chose to go to Hoseok’s or at least he hoped enough to raid her room for things she’d need. 

Sometimes she questioned how close they were when she found herself unbothered by him going into her room to pick clothes for her. But alas what was done was done.

“Well, I guess straight to yours it is.”

Hoseok nodded and they were off. He didn’t try to make conversation and for that YN was glad. Despite the time to decompress at work with her charting it was never good enough because she was still in the environment. On the way home was a good time for her to process and move on with her day. It helped keep the bad things from lingering if she got them out of the way. It also lowered her emotional sensitivity. Sometimes the smallest thing could set her off after a hard day if she didn’t sit with it for a moment.

By the time she finished they were in the parking garage of his building and had been for several minutes. She only realized when her brain registered that she hadn’t felt the vibrations of the car for some time. Free from her haze she turned to look at Hoseok in confusion. 

He smiled. “You were deep in thought, so I wanted to let you finish whatever it was. Not like we’re in a rush anyway.”

At that YN could feel her cheeks heat a little, though not enough that a blush would be clear. She murmured a soft thank you and they got out of the car.

Though she’d been able to grab her backpack from the floor without a problem, Hoseok snatched up her other bag and tossed it over his shoulder. And from the look on his face when she’d reached for it there hadn’t been any use in trying to take it from him. So, she followed him as he led her through the garage and into the building. Once inside he slowed and when they were next to each other his hand went to her lower back, guiding her to the elevators.

Though she’d been a bit drunk the last time she’d come to his apartment she could still remember the way up. Her brain hit her with a barrage of images at every step and once inside the elevator it played out the whole scene of them practically humping each other as they made out.

Hoseok seemed to remember as well because he laughed and then looked at her with a smirk on his lips. She rolled her eyes and nudged him with her elbow, but of course she wasn’t actually bothered at all.

“Don’t think it’s happening again,” she said.

“Don’t think what’s happening again?” he asked, faux innocence coloring his voice.

Yet another eye roll and laughter from him before the doors opened on his floor and he guided her out. The apartment was the last one in the hallway which meant she had to deal with his teasing the entire way there. Once he input the code she pushed the door open to get away from him and his poking.

It was exactly how her fuzzy and then morning brain remembered. Organized with a few things thrown here and there, but by no means messy. There was also a strong smell of what could have been lavender, but YN couldn’t tell.

“You can set your stuff down in the bedroom. And shower if you want. I know you’ve had a long day, so it could help,” he said as he finally handed over her bag.

For a moment YN thought to turn him down because she’d showered, but then she realized how icky she felt. Showers at work weren’t always the best for feeling truly clean no matter how long you stayed in there or how hard you scrubbed.

“I think I’ll take you up on that,” she said.

Nodding, Hoseok led her to his bedroom and then to the ensuite. She set her backpack down in a corner of the room and brought the weekend bag with her. Once she entered the bathroom Hoseok was turning on the shower and then pulling out a towel, rag, and pointed out the body wash for her.

“That should be it,” he said, but paused glancing at her. “Do you need something for your hair?”

YN smiled at the consideration but shook her head. 

“I don’t care a whole lot if the braids get wet and I’m sure Beau packed something for me. But thank you.”

Moving forward she pressed a kiss to his cheek, which made him freeze. When she pulled away he’d collected himself and was smiling at her. He stared for a moment before excusing himself so that she could get her shower in. Telling her to call out for him if she needed anything.

Since she’d showered a few hours before it wasn’t a long one. Beau had packed a shower cap and her bonnet in the bag, along with some things that she most definitely didn’t need since she had no plans to have sex with Hoseok. And even if she did there was no need for the vibrator he put in there. But ignoring that she undressed and threw on the shower cap, jumping into the shower so she could get it done. She stood under the hot water for a while and it helped calm her further, but since she didn’t want to take a century in there she cut it shorter than her usual. 

It took maybe ten minutes or less for her to get herself clean in a way that actually felt like it and then she was done. She dried off in the shower before stepping out. Quickly, she threw on her undergarments – thank goodness Beau packed a sports bra – and then a pair of pajama shorts, plus a too large t–shirt that she’d stolen from Beau who’d stolen it from Yoongi. 

Once done she redid the bun her box braids were in and headed out with all her stuff. The moment she stepped foot into the bedroom she was met with a shirtless Hoseok in low hanging joggers. 

It took everything in her not to stare at the tattoos like she’d done the first time they met. Tipsy her had the man unbuttoning his shirt in the bar so she could get a better look. How they didn’t get kicked out, she was unsure.

“Done already?” he asked, glancing up from his phone.

“Yeah. I took one at work, I just didn’t feel clean enough,” she said.

He nodded though she saw a look flash in his eyes for a second and then disappear as quick as it came. She assumed it was worry or pity, something she was used to when she said things like that. People tended to think she was trying to wash away something that wasn’t physically there and they wouldn’t be completely wrong in that assumption.

YN placed her bag near the backpack and then turned back to Hoseok with a raised brow. 

“So, what are we doing?” she asked.

Hoseok pursed his lips as if in deep thought, but in a second it was replaced with yet another smile. “I was thinking of watching The Old Guard and finishing that season of Kakegurui. We don’t have to move onto season two, but I need to get to the end before I lose it.”

They’d been watching that anime together via Facetime for a few weeks and were maybe four or five episodes out from finishing. And YN wanted to get that done as much as he did. But she also had been upset for weeks about not getting to watch Old Guard. Like upset enough that she accused Beau of betrayal when he watched it without her and Yoongi had to play mediator. Though she was upset with him too, despite his somewhat convincing lie about falling asleep halfway through it.

But regardless of that she couldn’t help the happy feeling that filled her for him remembering that and for thinking it was something she’d enjoy. He was very right and honestly, it was what she needed to fully immerse herself into the relaxation of a break.

“That sounds great,” she said, smiling way too hard.

Without a word Hoseok reached out for her hand and she let him take it. Their fingers laced together as they walked out into the living room. Out there the TV was set up and the couch had a few blankets as well as some fluffy looking pillows. And since it was one of the larger ones that were in an L–shape she knew she’d fit comfortably on it no matter which way she laid.

She was led all the way to the couch and Hoseok practically ripped her arm off pulling her down with him. YN gasped and struggled to right herself as she was practically swallowed by the blankets. It took several seconds to get comfortable, but before she could truly settle into that Hoseok pulled her closer so that she was practically on top of him.

When he stopped moving her around she slapped his arm. 

“Excuse me, sir. You’re getting mighty comfortable are you not?”

Hoseok snorted. “I’ve slept with you and despite only seeing each other a handful of times over several weeks I’ve made it very clear I’m into you. And you fell asleep during that one group movie night using my thigh as a pillow. So not a word about being comfortable, ma’am.” 

YN scoffed at that but didn’t say anything. She had a very vivid memory of waking up the next morning still pressed against his thigh. If everyone hadn’t been sprawled out around them, she would’ve been much more embarrassed than she had been. Which wasn’t that much since the man's thighs made a nice, firm pillow.

“Fine,” she mumbled.

“That’s what I thought. Now what are you craving for dinner?” he asked, pulling out his phone and adjusting it for both to see.

Before she opened her mouth to ask what the options were, he already had a folder where he kept all his takeout apps open. She perused the page until something caught her eye and then she tapped the little app for a pizza place she liked.

“I thought you avoided greasy food after a shift?” he asked.

YN tilted her head back and pouted at him. Of course he was right, but she wasn’t in the mood for something light and healthy. She’d deal with the consequences later.

“Are you going to deny me what I want?” she asked, her voice gentle.

Hoseok’s expression softened as he reached over to boop her nose. But then he stuck his tongue out at her.

“You know I’m not, so stop pouting. And I don’t want to hear not one complaint when you feel like shit in the morning,” he mumbled the last part.

“I will complain as I damn well please!” YN shouted in a burst of energy.

All Hoseok did was roll his eyes and shove the phone closer to her face so she could put toppings on her pizza and order whatever else she wanted. She didn’t get much else. Besides the pizza she got a large coke that she made clear wouldn’t be shared and fries because why the hell not. 

Fries were never a bad choice. Even when she felt like crap the morning after.

With food ordered, Hoseok wrangled her into another position and pressed play on Netflix. She planned to argue but she felt so comfortable and her body physically relaxed, so there was no urge to call him out. Besides, he knew what she was okay with and she knew that if she was actually uncomfortable, he’d accept being called out. They wouldn’t have survived that night after sex if they hadn’t been clear on what was and wasn’t okay.

YN got so caught up in watching and being comfortable that time passed quickly and before she knew it they were halfway through the second episode and his doorbell was ringing. She groaned and fussed about having to move but got up without much persuasion. 

Hunger was still present despite the need for comfort more than anything.

Hoseok went and came back in minutes. By then YN paused the show and moved down to the floor so she sat in front of the coffee table. He laid out all the food, placing her box of pizza in front of her, along with everything else. 

The urge to eat at the smell of the food was strong, but she waited until he returned from the kitchen with glasses and got comfortable next to her. She opened her box carefully and smiled as she looked at the pepperoni, bacon, jalapeno pizza with heart eyes. No time was wasted grabbing a slice and taking a bite. 

By some miracle she didn’t moan out loud afterwards.

It had been so long since she’d had that pizza or any pizza at all. She’d been busy with work and thus that meant avoiding greasy things for the most part. Even when someone had brought it into the breakroom she had opted to grab a poptart before she ran off somewhere. She didn’t realize that she actually missed it.

The way she ate it made her feel almost like a pig, but she’d only consumed three or so slices in the time it took the episode to finish and the next to reach its halfway point. And Hoseok hadn’t made any sort of comment, not that he would judge her about how she inhaled her food.

Though she had spent that time focused on the TV and her food, not even sparing a glance at Hoseok. Carefully she turned her head to see him equally as focused as she was, and his pizza almost gone. Her eyes went wide as she looked from his to hers and back again. She’d seen him eat before, but it still shocked her how fast he could consume food. 

Did he even chew?

After about forty–five seconds of her watching him Hoseok turned his head to look her way. He swallowed the crust he’d shoved into his mouth and raised a brow.

“Yes?” he asked.

“I don’t think you even chewed that.”

He merely shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

“I did chew,” he mumbled after.

“For what? Two seconds?” she asked incredulously.

That made him laugh; one of those throw your head back kind. It lasted for several seconds and at some point YN shook her head and moved her attention back to the TV. Hoseok tried to get her attention after but she shrugged him off, even as he poked her side repeatedly and whined in her ear about wanting attention.

As minutes went by it was a little hard to ignore him, but as the last episode queued up she closed her pizza box – despite having half left – and moved on to her fries. Which got him to stop since she was eating and poking a stomach while someone ate was cause for not a great time. 

But sadly, she barely ate a third of them before she felt the tightening of her stomach and knew it was best to stop. It wasn’t unbearable and she didn’t want to make it that way.

Once she pushed it away from her Hoseok took that as the cue to start cleaning things up and preparing them to be put away. After downing some of her coke in hopes of a burp to make her feel not bloated she went to help, but her hands were smacked away. That didn’t deter her, but after the fourth smack she glared at Hoseok.

“Why are you stopping me?” 

Hoseok paused in his cleaning, turning to her to smirk and wink.

“Because. Now go get comfortable. We’re going back to the couch and staying there for the rest of the night.”

YN pursed her lips for a moment before huffing and leaning back against the couch. 

“Fine. So bossy,” she mumbled, though not low enough.

Again, Hoseok paused and turned to her, but his expression was different. Amusement and a glint of mischief lurked in his eyes. The kind of mischief that sent a tingle down her spine and elsewhere.

“If you truly want bossy, we can always go back to you calling me Daddy, darling. I have no problem changing around this night since you want to misbehave,” he said. 

Naturally, YN stared him down unbothered by his words. Of course, they did something to arouse her, but she was also a brat and wouldn’t back down from such a small amount of intimidation. Especially when she wasn’t submersed in that mindset before the topic was brought up.

They stayed that way for a while. Just staring and waiting for the other to back down, however neither of them did. What stopped them was a yawn that YN tried to keep at bay breaking to the surface. 

His entire demeanor shifted despite the fact that YN saw he was clearly trying to keep his composure. Once he got his expression under control he pointed towards the couch and took everything to the kitchen.

Part of YN wanted to remain where she was, but she also didn’t want to start something she couldn’t finish. And that yawn reminded her of how tired she was – at least physically. She could fight sleep for a while, but her body felt a little sore and heavy. There was no point in keeping the little game going, so she dragged herself up from the floor and headed off to the bathroom to pee real quick. When she returned Hoseok wasn’t back yet, so she crawled onto the couch and positioned herself on her side against the corner of it.

A few minutes passed before he returned and when he did she was laying there scrolling through her twitter feed. She didn’t even notice his presence until he fell onto the couch, putting almost all his body weight on her in the process.

It took a minute or two to get him off, and when he finally freed her he snatched her phone to place on the other side of him. She was ready to take it back, but like the first time they got on the couch he pulled her into his arms to cuddle and placed half her body on top of his.

“So, we have ten minutes left on this last episode and then Old Guard?” he asked.

YN nodded, not finding any reason to disagree with what he said. Nothing in her no longer wanted to go along with the plan, if anything she was more eager now that she was calmer and had food in her system.

“Okay,” he said.

With that he started the episode up again and YN focused on the screen. It wasn’t like anything too exciting was happening, but either way she didn’t want to miss it. 

Once the ten minutes was up they stared at each other for a little while and said nothing. After a while they both shrugged and Hoseok put on Old Guard. YN hyper focused on it, her excitement bubbling in her stomach. However, she found it hard to focus no matter how much she was enjoying it. Her mind kept drifting back to the last episode – or well, the whole season. She couldn’t wrap her mind around what it was, but she didn’t want to spend the whole time trying to figure it out.

She was ready to let it go until Hoseok sighed.

Tilting her head a little she looked up at him and was met with furrowed brows and a perplexed expression.

“Something wrong?” she asked. 

Hoseok seemed startled by her sudden question because his eyes went wide for a second before he pulled it together.

“No. Everything’s fine,” he said.

That was obviously false and YN planned to push him on it, but then he sighed again.

“Okay, maybe it’s not fine. Nothing is wrong, at least nothing bad. But is it bad that I don’t know how to feel about the show and the ending?”

YN shook her head, pleased to see he felt the same way. 

“Oh, my goodness no. I haven’t been able to focus because I couldn’t figure out if I loved it or thought it was meh or anything. Like I know it wasn’t bad, but what do I feel? What does that ending make me feel?”

His body visibly relaxed.

“Oh, thank goodness it wasn’t just me.”

And just like that their movie was forgotten and they discussed the anime in depth. All their thoughts on scenes and the questions they had while watching and still had after finishing it. They got so wrapped up in it that by the time they finished it was really late and they decided to try and watch the movie the next day.

That night they fell asleep wrapped up in each other, closer than they’d been on the couch. Which felt impossible. 

“That’s not allowed! The rules don’t allow you to stack cards. No. No!” Jimin yelled, trying to force Yoongi’s cards back into his hands.

Yoongi smirked and simply slapped them back on top of the pile.

“Yes, you can. Now draw sixteen, bitch!”

Jimin squirmed where he sat on the floor and whined some more.

“It is not. You can’t do that,” Jimin said.

Not uttering a word, Yoongi simply pointed towards YN who was laughing at Jimin’s crybaby antics to the point that tears were falling. Every time she tried to pull it together she looked at his face and saw how upset he was and started laughing again. It took about four attempts to get it together over a minute before she could speak.

“Thems the rules,” she said.

Of course, that didn’t please Jimin at all, but when he looked around for back up no one offered their support. After rolling his eyes so hard they should’ve gotten stuck, he grabbed his sixteen cards from the stack. And he called Yoongi every word in the book while doing it. 

From there the game progressed with more yelling about what wasn’t allowed and Beau and YN locked in an intense battle for who would get Uno first. They kept yelling at each other and glaring whenever one of them did something to screw over the other. When they got down to their last card it seemed like one of them would lunge at the other at any given moment.

As the end drew near, YN was focused on the cards being placed down and stopping Taehyung from leaning over to peek at her hand. She had one blue and one red draw two that she needed to throw down, she just needed the right colors. 

And the universe did not let her down. 

Taehyung dropped a blue card as he stacked it with a yellow and immediately she began to laugh. One of those kinda creepy ones that you would expect from a villain. Turning her head she stared at Beau – who was after her – while she placed the cards down.

“Uno. Uno out, bitch! And draw four,” she shouted.

Though she wanted to savor that moment of staring at Beau’s enraged face she knew that she was in danger. YN’s next move was to roll away from the group, which was perfect timing since Beau already swung to punch her in the arm. She didn’t stop until her body bumped into the couch and someone’s legs, which was far enough away to get Beau to let her be, though the glare he fixed her with could’ve killed her.

All YN could do was smile, wink, and then finger gun at him. Which made him throw an empty can of beer at her, but his aim was shit so it sailed past YN and hit the small end table next to the couch instead.

The animosity fizzled after that though because the round was not over and of course if Beau couldn’t be first he needed to be second. Which meant destroying everyone else with all the stacks, reverses, color changes he had on hand. It was fun to watch them all groan and curse as he just laid out the cards each turn.

YN watched them intently but after a few moments the legs she’d rolled into lightly kicked her. She turned her head to look up at an amused but pouting Hoseok.

“Hi there,” he said.

“Hi.”

“Would you prefer to come up here? It’s more comfortable.”

For a moment YN pursed her lips as if actually thinking it over like it was some major decision, but Hoseok scoffed and kicked her again.

“Fine, fine. If you insist,” she said as she crawled up onto the couch. 

She sat so that her legs were pulled under her and they had a few inches between them, but Hoseok didn’t approve. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer so that her leg touched his thigh and then he released her, but kept the arm wrapped loosely around her. 

“You have to stop manhandling me, dude. At least take me on a date first,” she teased.

Hoseok scoffed. “We’ve had like four dates. What do you mean? And did you just dude me?”

YN rolled her eyes. “We’ve hung out four times in an apartment that was either yours or mine. And two of those times we slept the entire time. And yes, I did. What about it?”

“You fell asleep first one of those times,” Hoseok said incredulously, but he didn’t stop there. “And don’t act like you didn’t call those dates and consider them valid since you were so busy. Also, how dare you dude me? I thought I was better than dude?” 

“Okay, fine you’re right. But you have not taken me out on a date that involves leaving the house. Also, why are you better then dude? Is there something else I should be calling you?” she asked.

There was silence for a few moments as Hoseok looked at her, eyes wide and mouth agape. He seemed appalled, but YN didn’t know which thing was the problem. With how dramatic he could be anything she said could have “offended” him.

After she poked him in the side a few times he broke his silence.

“Yes, actually. I am not a dude, I am a… I am your… I am…”

Not wanting to interfere, YN watched as he struggled to find the right word for whatever it was he was trying to say. It was amusing to watch how flustered he got as more time went by. At some point he started blushing from it, his ears and neck turning red. It was interesting to see his neck tattooed colored in because of how flustered he was.

And though patient YN decided after two minutes of stuttering and avoiding eye contact that she needed to move things along.

She leaned towards his ear and whispered. “You’re my what, Hobi? My friend? My lover? My boyfriend? My daddy? What is it?”

The way she spoke was so soft and almost innocent, which was intentional. YN loved messing with people in general, so Hoseok was in no way immune to her trying to rile him up. Not even a little bit.

However, while it usually took more to get a reaction out of him he was already reacting before she finished the word daddy. His fingers dug into her side and then suddenly he was tickling her. It was just one hand at first, but then his other joined in and YN started violently squirming in an attempt to get away. 

“Stop,” she squealed.

That obviously didn’t help her at all, if anything Hoseok became more brutal with his tickling. At some point he eased up, but it was only as he adjusted himself to be over her since she’d fallen to the side upon his first attack and her body was sprawled across most of the couch. 

It took who knows how long for him to stop tickling her and by then she was breathing so heavily that it was all she could hear. Though it surely didn’t stop what he whispered in her ear from breaking through.

“You don’t want to test your daddy right now. You will stop teasing me.”

The deepness of his voice excited her and part of her brain wanted her to consider where she was, but it was overshadowed by the part that was wrapped up in him or maybe that part of her simply didn’t care in that moment.

Slowly, she tilted her head back so she could look into his eyes. Hoseok’s soft expression was no more and in its place was a locked jaw and intense eyes. YN could feel her heart quicken and without thought her hands began moving on their own accord, one tangling in his hair.

She felt so drawn into him and bit her lower lip as she felt like her body was on fire. Desire came to the forefront and she could feel the arousal as it built up inside her. And with the way Hoseok’s lips turned up into a smirk it was clear he could tell how she felt; which only made her want it more. Want him more.

But again, they weren’t considering where they were.

One second Hoseok’s head was dipping down and the next it was whipping up, his lips forming a frown and his eyes fixated on something off the couch. Or someone.

“Ow. Why are you throwing things?” Hoseok said. 

Confused, YN glanced around until she noticed an empty beer can on the floor in front of the couch. And after seeing that she followed Hoseok’s gaze to Yoongi who stood a few feet away clearly unamused.

“Maybe because I don’t want you two going at it on my couch. Or maybe because I don’t want to see you going at it at all. You are not fucking in my presence,” Yoongi said.

YN rolled her eyes. 

“No one is fucking or going to fuck in your presence,” she groaned.

“Sure fucking looked like you were about to. And I would love for it to stop looking like that,” Yoongi retorted.

At that Hoseok moved and so did YN, choosing to sit up as she stared down the man she considered her older brother.

“Do I need to mention the love seat incident?” she asked.

At that him and Beau froze. They both averted their gaze, but YN could still see the blush work its way onto their faces.

“That wasn’t… definitely not the same,” Yoongi said.

“Ah yeah, very different. Worse actually. Because who the fuck has sex in a shared living space, let alone perio–”

“Nope. Shut it. Don’t you dare finish that sentence. We promised to never speak of it again,” Beau shouted, while looking like he was going to die of embarrassment.

“That’s what I thought,” YN said.

After that it was a bit awkward. Even YN – who’d been so confident seconds before – felt it. That and an intense heat, as if she weren’t in an air–conditioned space. 

She needed to get out of there, but not because of the awkwardness. Well, mostly not because of it.

“I feel hot enough to pass out. I’m going for a walk,” she said as she stood up.

“It’s late I’ll–” Yoongi and Hoseok started at the same time.

They stared at each other after, but it didn’t last long as Yoongi gestured for Hoseok.

“Uh, I’ll go with you,” Hoseok said.

Shrugging, YN grabbed her phone from the coffee table and headed towards the door. There she slipped on her shoes and grabbed one of the lighter jackets hanging on the coat rack. Nobody would be leaving so it didn’t matter whose she took.

Hoseok was right behind her and she waited for him to be ready before heading out. 

“Don’t have sex in public either,” Namjoon yelled after them.

YN didn’t miss a beat and shouted back. “Not everyone is like you and gets almost arrested for public indecency in the alley behind a cupcake shop. In broad daylight might I add.”

That left everyone laughing, even Hoseok. And without another word they were out of the apartment and in the elevator. 

They remained silent as they headed down and even once they were out of the building and on the street. 

Yoongi’s apartment wasn’t in the middle of the city, but it was near a popular area. Which meant that despite the lateness they had to maneuver around groups of people who walked or loitered about. Thankfully as they got a block or so away the number of people lessened. It didn’t mean they were completely alone, but they weren’t running into people every few seconds.

It was three blocks in when the silence between them was broken.

“Where are we going? If you wanted to walk we could’ve gone to the park, which is in the opposite direction,” Hoseok said. 

YN shook her head.

“I didn’t say I was only going on a walk. I do plan to go to the park, but there’s something else I want first. Though if all this walking isn’t what you want to do I could continue alone. I’ve done it a million times later than it is now.”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Hoseok shake his head and huff.

“Nope. I said I’d come with you, so I’m following your lead. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

And to emphasize that point he reached over and grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together. His grip was firm, but gentle enough that she didn’t feel the need to readjust or pull her hand away.

From there it didn’t take long for them to reach their destination, which was an ice cream shop. When Yoongi first moved apartments they’d all gone on a walk to get a look at the neighborhood and got lost along the way. It was dark out and most things were closed by the time they got back on track and they’d stumbled upon the place to see it still open. That’s when they learned that they could get ice cream until four in the morning no matter the day of the week.

It quickly became a favorite location of YN’s; she’d even come after work some days. Of course, it was out of the way in relation to her apartment, but that didn’t matter. Sometimes she just needed to sit in a nearly empty ice cream parlor and devour four scoops of ice cream covered in whipped cream to get through the day.

Hoseok appeared a little perplex as she turned, pushing the door to the place open but he didn’t utter a word. He simply watched her as she approached the counter with a bright smile on her face. 

“Minho!” she called out.

One of the workers behind the counter whipped around in surprise, but the moment his eyes landed on her he smiled. He held up a finger and then turned back towards what he was doing.

“What flavors are you thinking?” YN asked.

Hoseok didn’t respond right away, which made her turn her head to glance at him. However, instead of looking at her he was up close to the window taking in the ice cream. His eyes were wide as he perused the options. It was cute to see him slowly become more excited as he assessed everything.

She’d gotten so caught up in watching him that she didn’t notice Minho walked up until he cleared his throat. YN looked up to look at him and was met with him glancing between her to Hoseok and doing that stupid eye brow wiggle thing. It made her roll her eyes hard. 

“I thought you stopped working this shift? You didn’t take the test yet right?” she asked him.

Minho’s face went blank for a moment that made her worry, but then a smirk made its way onto his lips. He then proceeded to do that dorky little shoulder dance he only brought out when there was something to celebrate. 

YN was immediately filled with joy.

“You did? You passed? Oh my goodness. Fuck yes!” she squealed. 

That seemed to grab Hoseok’s attention as she noticed him looking at them a little confused. The urge to explain was there, but she was more so caught up in voicing her excitement for Minho.

“I told you you could do it. You were agonizing for nothing. That test is stressful enough without you adding your own overthinking stress,” she said, reaching over to high five him.

Minho rolled his eyes at that. “I know, I know. I psyched myself out. Now it’s done and the new issue is applying for schools. My score was great, but I’m still up against so many people.”

“And you will get into so many places you apply. You’re applying to us right?” she asked.

At first she thought he was going to tell her no, which would result in her being a little pissy with him, but not much seeing as it was his future.

“Of course, I am. You and Jin would kill me if I didn’t and with all the help you’ve both been for getting through undergrad there is no way I would pass up the chance for a residency there. Plus that internship I did means I qualify for more scholarships there. Two of which mean a full ride.”

“I knew I taught you well,” YN said, pride filling her. 

Once their little moment was over she turned to Hoseok still appeared confused, but also he seemed to be content. As if something about the interaction had brought him a little bit of happiness despite him being an on looker.

“Hoseok, this is Minho. He’s a pre–med student, soon to be med student. He interned with Jin and I for a while and we’ve kept an eye on him since. Minho this is Hoseok, he’s a friend and tattoo artist at Yoongi’s shop.”

Both men greeted each other politely.

“Sure, he’s a friend,” Minho mumbled, though not soft enough.

At that YN huffed and reached over to pop him, but of course he moved away before he could. He did the stupid eye bro wiggle again which antagonized her more, but instead of trying to get to him she calmed and reminded herself to remember it for next time she saw him not at work.

“Okay, now that you’re done trying to assault me. What can I get you guys? I assume YN wants vanilla, chocolate chip, moose tracks, and chocolate with enough whipped cream to root her teeth. But what can I get you Hoseok?” Minho asked.

“Uh, I can’t handle nearly as much sugar as her. And I hope I never have to. But… maybe two scoops of Superman ice cream. In a cup,” Hoseok said.

YN didn’t try to defend herself or punch his arm, just rolled her eyes and moved down since there was a line forming behind them and the other worker was already doing her sundae.

As Minho got Hoseok’s ready they talked a bit and appeared to hit it off, which pleased YN. She was glad that Minho would have someone else to talk to. The kid tended to keep to himself and his main friends were scattered around the country at different schools. It was hard not to worry about him even though she knew he was doing fine.

Once they got their ice cream and YN paid – despite earnest protest from Hoseok – she led them to a booth back in a corner. And the moment she plopped down a scoop of whipped cream was in her mouth. Of course, the ice cream should’ve been the focus since it would melt but it lasted a little longer in the cold shop so devouring half of the cream first wasn’t the end of the world.

As they ate there was small talk here and there. Talking about their days or whatever thing they were excited about that was coming up. It was consistent and chill, no pressure to have something uber interesting to say and no need to fill the silence when they both stopped talking to just eat their ice cream in peace.

And it felt nice for YN to be able to do that with someone outside of her normal circle of friends. Of course Hoseok was a part of that circle, but she’d never brought him there so it was new for her. 

New and nice. 

Well, the nice didn’t last for too long. 

Just as YN got to the last bit of her ice cream a few people entered the shop, though she paid them no mind. Not until she heard a voice that was painfully familiar. YN’s head snapped up and her eyes found the person with ease.

There were three people to be exact. A middle aged man was smiling down at a kid that looked around ten and a woman around the same age was looking at both of them with a wide smile on her face. They were in their own little world and though YN wanted to look away; she couldn’t for a moment or so. It hurt, but she couldn’t stop herself from looking. 

She needed to get the hell out of there. 

It took Hoseok grabbing her hand to get her focus back on him. His lips were turned down in a frown and his eyes flickered from her to the people she’d stared at. The questions were clearly present, but as he opened his mouth something in him shifted physically. Next thing YN knew he was smiling at her and standing up.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

Without another thought she nodded, not even bothering to finish her ice cream. She got up and threw the bowl away in the trash can behind their booth. Afterwards she grabbed Hoseok’s outstretched hand and they headed out. 

She was so close to getting away, but her waving bye to Minho screwed her over.

Out of interest, the older male turned their way and they locked eyes. His eyes widened and though YN tried to get herself to move quickly after it was too late. The man leaned down to whisper to the woman and she turned around faster than YN could look away. 

That was the moment YN felt like her chest would cave in. Like she would drop to her knees right then and there. It was as if all her work over the years had been for naught, though she knew that the real issue was the joy she saw on the woman’s face. The joy and the regret. As if she was allowed to feel either of those things when it came to YN.

It took a minute, but YN pulled it together and took the lead heading out of the shop. She kept her pace fast, but not so much that she appeared to be running away from anyone. Because even though she wanted to get away, there was no running from that woman. She didn’t hold that much power over her.

Once outside YN was sure everything was safe, but of course it wasn’t.

“YN!” the woman called out.

Ignoring her was the smart move, but YN stopped walking and turned to look at her. She stood just outside the door with the man and the boy next to her. She still wore that smile despite it being clear that YN was far from happy to see her.

“I thought that was you, baby. I wanted to say hi,” she said.

YN scoffed. “I am not your baby. And I don’t know how many times I can make it clear that I don’t want to say hi to you. I don’t want to speak to you. I don’t want to be in the same space as you. I want nothing to do with you. You do not know me, so please act like it.”

The smile dropped immediately and a frown formed on the man’s face.

“YN, we get that you’re upset, but that isn’t how you speak to your mo–” he said.

There was no way she was allowing him to finish that word.

“Going to stop you right there. She is not my mother and she made that perfectly clear for most of my life. Just because she had reality knocked into her later in life does not mean she gets to change anything. And you are not my father nor are you some sort of authority that gets a say in how I talk to her. Least of all when it comes to respect. Neither of you have respected me as a person, so you get none in return. Not one bit. This is not some little family reunion. None of you are my family. Unless you hold the name Min or are one of the few people who I talk to on the daily you are not my family. You will never be my family. I made that clear after you tried to backtrack. Now keep on doing what you did for over ten years of my life and pretend I don’t fucking exist.”

And with that YN turned on her heel and walked away, dragging Hoseok behind her. She didn’t turn around once, not even when she heard a broken voice calling out to her over and over again. 

That woman could sit with her sadness and guilt for her whole life. YN no longer cared to absolve her of it. 

So, with that behind her YN kept moving forward. Literally.

Once she’d started speed walking away she didn’t stop. Not until they were at the park two blocks away from Yoongi’s apartment in the other direction. Once there she located a bench and plopped down onto it, releasing Hoseok’s hand in the process.

Hoseok merely sat down next to her and didn’t say a word. She knew he had a million questions, but he hadn't bothered to ask them or to tell her to slow down the entire way there. He’d just gone with the flow and she felt bad.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You obviously wanted to get away from them and they didn’t take the hint,” he said.

She nodded because he wasn’t wrong, but then she was shaking her head.

“No. I almost dislocated your arm and dragged you for blocks without saying a word after blowing up on people in a very vague way. I owe you an explanation.”

“You don’t.”

She turned to look at him for the first time since they’d left the shop. He was staring at her with understanding and care, which only enforced what she was going to do.

“I may not need to, but I want to. It’s better that I vent it out instead of keeping it all in like this. I agree with my therapist when he says it’s better for me to tell the story when I feel like I need to get it out no matter how many times I’ve said it and no matter how much progress I’ve made. And seeing as you’re trying to stick around you would find out anyway,” she said.

Hoseok’s expression remained the same for a bit, but then he smiled and nodded at her. His hand reached over to grab hers, giving it a light squeeze.

Taking a deep breath YN prepared herself to get into it. To get sad, angry, and numb all over again. She was better than she used to be, but that didn’t stop the emotions from hitting hard each and every time.

“Okay, so you’ve been privy to the dynamic of me in Yoongi. How we seem like siblings who spent their entire lives together and how his parents treat me as if I am their own. It’s because I basically am. I’m obviously a Black woman in the middle of South Korea who fits so well it’s weird. It’s because my father was stationed here at one point after he married my mom and when it was time for him to retire they wanted to stay here. But they had to go back to the US first. While there they had me and though that meant moving was a little harder that didn’t stop them. So, when I was two we moved here. We lived in a house not far from Yoon’s. And though we didn’t know each other for the first few years here he found me stumbling home crying one day and basically took me in. I was only a year younger than him, so we kept close and he treated me as if we were the same age. His family would watch me sometimes when my parents were busy and eventually it was like my second home. Everything was okay.

“But a few weeks after my tenth birthday my dad got sick and it was so sudden. So quick. One moment he was healthy and the next he couldn’t leave the hospital bed or breathe without help. His health deteriorated so quickly and within two weeks were in the VA hospital saying our last goodbyes. He was gone not too long after I’d said I love you. It was just so much and ten–year–old me was stronger and much more grounded then you’d expect of a kid at that age, but that shit fucking hurt. Hurt to watch him leave us. Hurt to watch my mother break down as she lost her husband. Hurt to watch them put him in the ground.”

At some point YN’s breathing increased and her chest tightened. It reached a point where she had to pause and breathe, like truly focus on the action to stop herself from getting too worked up. Hoseok pulled her closer and squeezed her hand and she could see he was going to say something, but she shook her head and took a deep breath before continuing.

“That hurt, but things got better. Things always pick up after something like that. Everything was back to normal, well as normal as could be with a death in the family. We all were good for a while, but sometime between eleven and twelve something in my mother shifted. I’d known a good bit of my life that she hadn’t wanted kids so soon and I was a surprise. She held no hatred, but it was what it was. But as time went on I could feel the resentment. As she tried to move on with her life in the romance department or just meeting new friends I could tell she just saw me as an obstacle. The love was there, but it was so different then before.

“At some point she sent me to the Min’s house more often and wouldn’t come home for days. The self–doubt on if she wanted me anymore was so strong and just as I thought I was wrong; I was proven right. She’d found another retired military man that she was heavily interested in, but he didn’t have kids and didn’t really want them. Which was fine, but he’d voiced not wanting anything to do with children and my mother couldn’t even muster the energy to say fuck him and find someone else.

“No, she told him she had no kid and that went on for months until I came home one day for something and he was there. He didn’t react horribly, but he was obviously displeased with me. Well, no displeasure isn’t the right word. Maybe disgust was it. But either way that’s all it took before my mother was packing up her things and mine. She was moving in with him and I was going to be sent to a foster care center that dealt with international kids.”

A bitter laugh escaped her as she said it. The memory of how her mother acted like it was natural and treated her as if she was lovingly taking her child on some sort of adventure instead of giving her up. YN felt fully immersed in her own rage and anguish, but not enough that she didn’t notice how Hoseok’s jaw locked and the anger in his eyes. She wanted to stop after that, but she was on a roll.

“Anyway, I stayed there for a week. Again Black girl in Korea where even in an international foster care home I’m the only one. It was horrible. I hated every second of it and I don’t know if it was the bullying or pity that made it so bad. But that Monday came and I was finally sent back to school, where Yoongi met me at the front gates. He didn’t know why I’d vanished and when I told him we skipped school and he took me back to his house. He told his mom and she told us to stay at the house. She returned several hours later with all my stuff and told me I was staying there now. That that was my home now and she'd given my mother a good cussing out and demanded some form of custody. 

“So, from then on the Min’s were my family. They didn’t have a whole lot, but they took care of me. And my mother had the decency to provide money for them taking care of me. Helped feed and clothe me. And at some point I felt okay with it all, but that feeling of unworthiness doesn’t just leave because new people tell you you are worthy and that they love you. I spent so much time worried they’d get rid of me at some point that I was scared to even do something slightly wrong. But eventually Yoongi stopped it for the most part. 

“And when he admitted he needed therapy once we got to college I realized I did too and we took the plunge together. Went to talk out our shit. Got better. Didn’t fix everything, but we just wanted better. Better was all we could aspire for and got damn it felt so fucking good to be better. To feel better. To feel like we could live and thrive.”

YN hadn’t realized tears began to fall until Hoseok wiped them from her cheeks. She blew out a burst of air and tried to pull it together.

“We can stop there. You’ve said so much and I don’t want you to keep going and getting yourself even more worked up. You don’t have to do this, baby,” he said.

Of course, she shook her head again. Stopping would give her time to calm down, but she didn’t want to emotionally decompress and then get worked up again. It was best to get it out all at once.

“I’m almost done,” she said.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Yup.”

“Okay.”

That time she squeezed his hand to gain strength to continue.

“I went to school for nursing first. I knew I wanted to be a doctor, but I thought becoming a nurse first would help out. It would mean I got hands on while in medical school and where I work now offered to pay for me if I worked there and went to school. So by the time I was doing my residency I was so immersed that I was doing more than a lot of the other residents. And that meant that I worked more intimately with patients. 

“I was on my pediatric rotation when she came in with a little boy with a high fever. They had her step out so when I arrived she wasn’t in the room. I was told to comfort the kid and get him treated. So, I did that. And about twenty minutes in she appeared. I was turned around so she couldn’t see my face, but she thanked me and I recognized the voice. When I turned the smile she’d been wearing was gone and replaced with shock, then anger. She was angry with me. As if I’d done anything wrong. And not being an idiot I put two and two together. I requested to be switched out because of our relationship despite having not seen her in like ten years or so. But instead of just letting me be so we could continue that way, she felt the need to pull me to the side to tell me about myself. How I was wrong for not just doing my job seeing as we had no relationship. How just because we’d run into each other there was nothing that was going to change. How I shouldn’t get my hopes up. How she was living such a great life with her husband.”

“She fucking what?” Hoseok shouted.

“Yup. And I told her that I didn’t give a fuck despite the pain I felt inside as I was being rejected again. I told her it didn’t matter and I wanted nothing to do with her or her family. And then I walked away from her. Then four years later we ran into each other and she had this guilt on her face. She cornered me to talk, to apologize, to say how her son needed his big sister, to say how sorry her husband was. And by then I was so fed up that I told her to fuck off. That I wanted nothing to do with any of that. Then I went to an emergency therapy session to talk that through and get validation on my right to not want to forgive them or deal with my half–sibling. And here we are now. Years later and she still tries. And sometimes I think maybe I should talk to them, but I can’t.”

Without missing a beat Hoseok let go of her hand and used his hands to cup her face so he could make her look at him. His eyes were intense, but kind and he looked at her with sadness, but not pity.

“And you don’t have to. They messed up, not you. You hold the right to choose how you proceed. And if that means not talking to her son then that’s fine. You don’t owe that kid your time when he puts you in proximity to people who hurt you. Especially people who should have been there for you like they were for him. You are doing wonderfully, YN. You are living a life you want and working on your issues. You are being the best you can and that is what matters. You are what matters,” he said. 

His words came down on her hard and before she knew it she launched herself forward into him. Hoseok moved his arms so they wrapped around her and he let her cry into his chest. He simply whispered soft words of encouragement and validation. 

It felt so good. Like she’d lifted a weight off. It didn’t take everything away, but something about it made things feel a little less trash. A little less hopeless. 

It’s what sharing did for her and she was so happy to have someone else to share stuff with. 

They stayed like that for a while until they realized two and a half hours had passed and everyone would come looking for them if they didn’t go back. So, after ensuring that YN was good they walked back to the apartment, hand and hand with laughter flowing between them.

When they’d finally managed to go on a date it was about a month after the incident with YN’s mother. Hoseok had so many appointments and events to go to that for once it wasn’t her schedule in the way. But when he was finally free of work he asked her to accompany him out to an amusement park on a Saturday evening. YN loved them so she didn’t hesitate in saying yes.

Hoseok picked her up after he finished his last session of the day. And he looked way too attractive. His black, ripped skinny jeans gave her the perfect view of his tanned firm thighs. And he’d opted for a short sleeve shirt, which meant that the sleeves on his arms were on display. Also, though YN hated to admit it, the backwards snapback he had on had the weirdest effect on her. Usually she rolled her eyes at people wearing them because they were often try hard, wannabe fuck boys, but the fuck boy aesthetic fit Hoseok well. 

Too well.

However, YN wasn’t allowed to linger on that long. For some reason Hoseok felt the need to rush and practically dragged her down to his car the moment she had her shoes on. And once in the car he seemed very focused on driving so she didn’t try to maintain conversation, just stared out of the window and took the time to relax.

Moments of peace were rare and she’d take them whenever she could.

By the time they arrived at the amusement park Hoseok’s serious focus appeared to dissolve into nervous tics. He chewed on his lip aggressively and wouldn’t stop tapping his finger on the steering wheel. Even when he pulled into a spot and turned off the engine he still stayed that way, not glancing YN’s way at all.

“Hobi,” YN said while placing a hand on his thigh.

It took a moment but when he finally did look her way he put on a smile, though it seemed a little forced. And the nervousness laced into his expression didn’t falter at all.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

There was a head shake and a shrug from him, which was clearly a lie and YN planned to call him on it until he had a change of heart.

“I’m feeling unnecessarily nervous. It’s normal, the idea of roller coasters do that to me and I get on them anyway. But for some reason it’s worse this time,” he said.

YN opened her mouth to offer something else but was cut off.

“And don’t say we can do something else. I asked you to come here because I wanted to come and know you love amusement parks. It was my decision and I’m sticking to it.”

Again, YN prepared to reassure him that somewhere else was fine, but then he narrowed his eyes at her and she shut up. Even using her hand to mime zipping her mouth shut, locking it, and throwing away the key. 

That got him to laugh and that’s all she needed.

After that they got out of the car and headed towards the entrance. Hoseok paid for them to get in and YN having spent time with him knew not to try and fight him on it. He was the only one besides Yoongi and Seokjin who could get her to put her money away, despite the ongoing war of paying within the friend group.

From there they entered the park which had many people walking around, but not the usual crowd. She chalked it up to people wanting to visit the fair that set up shop about twenty minutes away from the park and had a limited opening. It was also an option that Hoseok had mentioned, but YN knew all too well that fairs were never as exciting as someone thought they were. They’d be a smaller version of the amusement park where you hoped to find something new to do and you would find the same games or rides as the park, at a more expensive price. It just wasn’t worth it.

“So, where do you want to go first?” Hoseok asked.

That pulled YN from her people watching and forced her to look at the rides and games. She wanted to playthings, but she also knew that if they won anything it would have to be carried around the park until they left. So, games were a no. Also, she wanted to get on more calm rides, because she loved them as much as the high and fast ones, but that felt like a good wind down. 

“How about that?” she said while pointing to the biggest ride in the park off in the distance. 

Hoseok looked at her incredulously. Poor man looked scared out of his mind and it was kind of adorable.

“What? Why? Can’t we work our way up to that? There is an adorable merry go round that I’m just dying to see you on,” he said. 

More like pleaded.

“The merry go round is for later. I want to work my way down, not up. But if you’re uncomfortable we can start on something else or not even ride it.”

No matter how much YN wanted to go on the ride she wouldn’t force him. The date was supposed to be fun and she couldn’t live with herself if she made Hoseok do anything that he didn’t want to do.

When a minute passed and he said nothing she knew the answer.

“We can go on the swinging ship instead, Hobi. It’s a good starter ride,” she said.

Hoseok nodded, but the moment she started walking he shook it.

“No,” he said, taking a deep break before speaking again. “We can go on the big one. I’m just not used to jumping right on it and if I’m honest I usually avoid it unless Jungkook drags me on, but I can do it. It’s fine.”

“Hoseok…”

The fear slipped from Hoseok’s expression as he turned to cup YN’s face, a smile forming on his lips. 

“It’s fine. I promise. Though you might have to hold my hand the whole way there,” he said. 

YN rolled her eyes at his cheesiness but held out her hand for him to take anyway. And once their fingers were laced together Hoseok started running. There was a struggle to keep up and she cursed him multiple times, but she kept going until they reached the line. 

Of course it was long and she was ready to wait, but then Hoseok steered her towards a different line which was much shorter. She looked at him with a raised brow, but all he did was smirk and flashed her the two fast passes he had. YN’s eyes went wide because she hadn’t even heard him ask for those. But nonetheless she was excited and expressed that by leaning closer and pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

Instead of averting his gaze like he often did Hoseok merely leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek in return. Which brought a wide smile to YN’s lips and that only seemed to make Hoseok’s grow wider.

They stayed like that – like the dorks they were – until they realized they were next in the line. And that info brough Hoseok’s nerves back in full force. YN did as best she could keeping him calm with sweet words and several hand squeezes. She worried it wasn’t enough as they were strapped into the ride and Hoseok started biting his lip again. The voice in the back of her head told her to tell the person in charge that they were getting off, but then she watched as Hoseok took a long deep breath and the tension melted from his face. He smiled and turned to wink at her as the ride started moving.

That reassured her and since the ride moved she focused on what was in front of her. She felt her stomach dip immediately and squeezed her thighs together best she could as they approached the drop. The discomfort before things got started was her least favorite part, but the feeling she got after made it worth it. 

And it was very worth it.

The ride dropped and she felt like she was in another world as it twisted, turned, rose, and fell again. It excited her and she was so happy that she started laughing, which surely made for a horrible picture but she didn’t care.

By the end of the ride she was more than eager to get on another and though frazzled, Hoseok also felt that way. So, as soon as their stuff was collected from the bin they were on their way. 

They zoomed to every ride they could get to and luck just happened to be on their side almost every time. So, few people used the fast pass lane and that meant they were on a new one minutes after leaving the others. And they used that to ensure they got on as many as possible. The only time they stopped was to get little snacks here and there, both worried that too much would trigger nausea and/or vomiting. 

It was just pure fun. The type that YN didn’t always have time for. And the type that Hoseok didn’t always look for. 

For about four hours they hopped around from ride to ride, but at some point the excitement and adrenaline wore them down.

“Okay. I think I’m getting too old to be getting on these rides all day,” Hoseok said as they finished one of those rise slowly and drop quickly rides. 

He sounded out of breath and YN felt out of breath. There was only so much that a body could take, even if they were technically just sitting there and going along with how things moved. At some point you’d zap all your energy or get your adrenaline too high too often, and that was not good at all.

“Same. Want to switch to games?” she asked.

“Yes, please,” he said. 

And just like that they laced their fingers together and walked towards the front of the park. Most, if not all, of the games were up front. Of course, it was just a ploy to get children excited immediately and thus make parents spend more money sooner. Also, to remind them and the kids to try for one of the prizes as they left. It worked out for them well enough. YN remembered coming as a kid and begging Mama Min to let her spend her allowance on trying for a large stuffed teddy bear. Which she failed to do, only for Yoongi to try once and win it for her. She’d never been so grateful and salty in her life.

But regardless of that she usually did the games because she liked the competition and had mastered a few. So even if she failed for what she really wanted, she got something. And even if she didn’t the world wouldn’t end because she wasn’t stupid enough to spend a whole lot of money on the games. 

Thirteen–year–old her would’ve been shocked.

“How about the basketball one?” Hoseok offered.

That brought a smile to her face.

“Yes.”

Hoseok led them that way and before he could stop her YN paid for three rounds. He of course was displeased but didn’t utter a word about it. In fact, his body language shifted and he released her hand and grabbed a ball from his side of the stand.

“I can’t beat Yoongi, but I should be able to beat you. One of you siblings needs to be taken down a peg,” he muttered.

The urge to cackle at that was strong, but YN maintained an aura of nonchalance. Getting cocky or showing too much confidence would make him nervous and she wanted to kick his ass when he thought he had it in the bag.

After she grabbed her own ball the stand worker started up the timer and they got to work. YN didn’t glance Hoseok’s way once, just kept shooting the balls into the hoop and sinking most of them. Even when the new rounds started she continued to remain focused. It wasn’t until Hoseok missed his last ball that she turned his way, smiling and winking before she shot her ball and it sunk in.

Nothing brought her joy like seeing the defeat and incredulous look on Hoseok’s face after she’d done it. The laughter that fell from her lips was involuntary, but she made no attempt to stop herself. It was just too funny.

“Ho… how are you so good at this?” he asked, practically shrieking.

It took a minute, but YN pulled herself together.

“Who do you think was forced to play with Yoongi so he could practice when he didn’t have team practice? He dragged me everywhere, most times against my will. So, I got decent at it. And then we would come do these games and learned how much force and what angle worked best to force it through. You never stood a chance, love,” she said.

At that Hoseok merely pouted and YN turned to request the large bunny that hung close to the top. She thanked the worker and then turned back to Hoseok.

“I thought you weren’t fond of bunnies?” Hoseok asked.

YN shrugged. “It’s for Kookie, he loves them and he was eyeing this the last time we came here. We had to leave quickly so we didn’t have time to stop though.”

“Oh.”

All YN did was nod and then stare at Hoseok waiting for him to say something else. The pout was still on his lips, but there was also a slight twitch that showed that he fought off a smile. It took a moment for him to notice her looking at him though and then he was shaking his head and focusing on her.

“You want to do a few more? It’s getting late and you know that means a flood of teenagers are about to come,” he said.

“Sure, a few more times of me beating you won’t hurt,” she teased while nudging him.

“Oh, so that’s how it is? It’s on,” he said.

Then just like with the rides they found themselves immersed in games. There were only a few people playing them so they got to play almost immediately. It was a war of games and who could manage to pay first. And though Hoseok did well to beat her with paying, he didn’t fare so well with the games themselves.

After they finished with the water squirting game YN had won all but one game. Besides the bunny she’d given her prizes to kids who’d been nearby or watched their competitions. Hoseok won a baseball related one and had his own snake, which he told YN was for her since she was one. Lying to him about not being good at games and then beating him by a long shot. 

The entire walk to the car he pouted, not uttering a single word. Even when they put their prizes in the trunk and got in he didn’t speak. It wasn’t until he’d started the car, put it in reverse so he could pull out, and then put it back in park did he speak.

“How could you beat me in almost everything?” he whined. 

If YN didn’t find his pouting so adorable she’d be annoyed with him, but there was no way she could resist that face. Even the whining was endearing. The man had her close to whipped.

But despite how much she relished in it she still rolled her eyes at him.

“I spent a lot of time playing games like that. After a while even the ones you suck at become easier. It’s not because you're bad at it, I’m just really good,” she said.

That didn’t stop the whining and at some point she simply unbuckled herself so she could lean over the center console and shut him up with her lips. Hoseok gave in quickly, his hand slipping to cup her face as he pressed closer. And the longer their lips pressed together the more worked up it made YN. At some point she nipped at his lower lip with her teeth causing his lips to part and her tongue the chance to slip in. As their tongues intertwined she pressed closer to him, almost sliding into his lap. And she would have done that if the sound of a car horn hadn’t startled them into pulling apart.

YN’s head whipped around immediately, but she couldn’t find where it came from. Which she was grateful for since she couldn’t deal with the embarrassment of someone watching them.

She slid back into her seat and readjusted her shirt, which had risen as their kiss had grown more aggressive. Once presentable she turned to Hoseok again, who stared at her with an intense look in his eyes and while chewing on his lower lip. Which immediately made her want to kiss him again because they were so soft and nice against hers.

Then a lightbulb moment happened.

Leaning over the center console again she stopped and watched as he tried to close the space but pulled away a little. When she did there was some rumbling sound he made, but no attempt to move close again. 

“How about I make it up to you for beating you?”

If she assumed that his expression couldn’t get any more intense, any more lust filled, she was wrong. Hoseok leaned closer to her as if to kiss her, but then he didn’t.

“You can definitely do that,” he whispered.

And just like that he was reaching over to re–buckled her seat belt and pulled out of the parking lot. As he drove YN turned her head so she could smile without him seeing, because if she learned anything from the first and only time they’d slept together it was that any perceived cockiness from her meant more teasing and she didn’t want that. 

The car ride back to his place was silent, but their lack of interaction didn’t dim the tension in the car. Especially with how much of it radiated from Hoseok. When YN would glance his way his face was serious and his hands gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were white. And if he happened to glance her way when she looked at him he gave that megawatt smile that sent a tingle down her spine. 

By the time they reached the parking lot YN was sure that there was a damp spot on her panties and feared that any time spent unable to do anything would cause it to grow. Maybe even expand so much that the shorts she wore were affected.

Thankfully, Hoseok wasted no time. He got out so fast that he was at her door before she could fully open it and took her hand to lead her inside. Not a word was uttered as he led her through the lobby to the elevator and even in there he was silent. It made YN antsy, but also excited. They’d avoided sex every time they hung out, despite a few times where it seemed like they’d give in.

Once they were inside of Hoseok’s apartment everything shifted. The tension was still there, but it dimmed. Hoseok had been in front of her the whole time and by the time she’d kicked off her shoes he’d finally turned to her was a calm, soft look.

“What’s wro–” she started.

“You’re sure about this, right? And I don’t mean as in if you’re sure about having sex, but how we’re going to do this? It’s my default and if you want to do it another way we can. But I need to know what you want before I proceed.”

It was almost like the little rambling speech he gave before they fucked the first time and she still thought it was sweet. That despite her reassurances and him knowing she was into it that he’d constantly make sure before he proceeded.

“Seeing as part of the reason I made sure to kick your ass in every game was to get you riled up, yes I’m sure. I appreciate you asking though,” she said.

That first sentence was all that was needed to flip his switch so he went back to the lust driven man from before. 

“Oh, so you thought it would be fun to play games?” he asked, but YN knew it was rhetorical so she remained silent.

When he didn’t get a response from her Hoseok smiled and motioned her forward. And without a thought she moved towards him, though she walked slower than she usually did. Which was something that Hoseok seemed to notice but didn’t comment on. 

YN stopped with a few inches between them, far enough that they weren’t exactly in each other’s faces but she could feel Hoseok’s breath on her. She’d contemplated staying back a little farther but had to remind herself that she’d messed with him enough to get herself in trouble and didn’t want to make it worse.

At least not this time.

But she didn’t have to worry about displeasing him for long, because the moment she stopped his hands cupped her face and his lips smashed into hers. He just barely missed knocking their heads together, but that thought was gone the more she got into the kiss. Just like in the car it was passionate and needy. Hoseok attacked her lips with such vigor that she couldn’t help the excitement and arousal that bubbled inside of her. She was beyond eager to continue just kissing him despite the need for more though. The idea of pulling away didn’t make her happy.

Which meant Hoseok did just that as she nipped at his lower lip. A whine escaped her because of it, but he merely laughed at her. He then grabbed her hand and led her out of the mini hallway and towards his bedroom. Part of her wanted to say the couch was closer, but his bed was bigger and far more comfortable.

The moment they entered the room he released her hand and went to sit on the edge of the bed. He motioned her forward and she went, but when he patted his thigh she hesitated. It was only for a second, but he noticed it.

“I’m not dealing with you talking about being too heavy to sit on my lap. Daddy’s thigh. Now,” he said. 

The fact that he remembered after one instance of her saying that in a non–sexual scenario made her cheeks heat up. Not enough to be seen, but enough for her to be slightly more embarrassed by knowing she was blushing.

Not wanting to prolong anything she carefully sat down on his left thigh and much to her pleasure he reconnected their lips. Her arms moved to wrap around his neck as she pressed closed to him, her breasts pushed hard against his chest. That time she wasted no time trying to get him to part his lips and at first he ignored her, but then he bit down on her lip in a way that was almost painful but was right in the threshold of what she took pleasure in. His tongue slipped in and immediately they were tangled together.

So, wrapped up in the kiss YN didn’t really notice Hoseok’s hands move to her hips and guide her up and down his thigh. Well that and the thickness of her shorts. But when she did begin to feel the friction against her covered crotch a moan slipped from her mouth immediately, though it was muffled by Hoseok’s lips.

At that point she didn’t hesitate in helping him out – though it also helped her. She pressed down on his thigh and moved her hips along with his hands, though she tried to move faster as the need for more pleasure increased, but of course Hoseok corrected her form. He used one of his hands to smack her ass and she knew to stop. Though him spanking her only made her much hornier.

Eventually he moved her faster and their lips parted, but she was so wrapped up in the pleasure of riding his thigh that it didn’t matter. As her hips picked up speed she threw her head back and a chorus of moans escaped her. 

She wanted more. Needed more. 

Hoseok watched her for a while, saw her pleasuring herself and then his lips mouth was on her neck. That sparked something more in her as they trailed down her neck, sucking marks into her skin as they got lower and lower. When they reached the top of her breasts the sounds she made stuttered a little. The skin there grew overly sensitive in sexual situations and that was definitely the case then. Every touch made her feel electrified and thus explained the whimpers that poured out of her.

And she didn’t even have time to feel embarrassed. 

No, YN’s focus was solely on her own high and with how little action she’d gotten over the last few months she got close quickly. And she thought she was a few more strokes away from reaching that, until she was suddenly on her back being pressed into the bed. 

So wrapped up in herself YN failed to notice Hoseok leverage her weight to shift their positions. Instead of on his lap he was between her legs. The only constant was his thigh and the fact that he hadn’t stopped rubbing it against her. 

“You were getting off so well on my thigh, baby,” he said. 

YN nodded, her mind drifting to the way his leg was pressed firmly against her. With him more in control there was more pressure and it made the friction much more enjoyable.

“You want to cum on my thigh? Want me to finish you off this way?”

Again, YN nodded, though it was more frantic. She was so close and she needed a little more to push her over the edge, but then he stopped. A grunt of disapproval escaped her as she felt the climax fade away slowly.

Grabbing her face, Hoseok made her look at him. She was forced to see his smirking face as she felt her high slip away from her. A whimper slipped from her lips and she pouted.

“Nope, don’t give me that. You know you have to use your words, baby. Answer my question,” he said.

“Yes, I want to get off this way,” she practically shouted.

Though seemingly displeased by her loudness Hoseok didn’t waste another second. Instead of his thigh though, he used his knee to press against her. It could provide more pressure and once he started moving it her stomach tangled in notes quickly. Her hands gripped the cover for strength and she arched her back a little hoping to get closer. 

At some point the feeling of his knee hurt a little, but she was so close that she didn’t care. The pleasure outweighed the pain – and even added to it. 

But despite her proximity to reaching her climax she felt frustrated. It felt so far away and she was whining more than moaning at that point. She thought she’d never get there and then suddenly her body tensed, then relaxed. With a jolt she came, her mouth opened wide with not a sound coming out as she rode the wave of it.

There wasn’t much time for her to recover though, because Hoseok already had her shorts unbuckled and pulled them down along with her panties. The cool air made her squirm as it brushed against her sensitive clit. She whined, which made Hoseok pause with a brow raised.

“Done after one orgasm?” he teased.

YN huffed. “Never.”

That made Hoseok smile wider as he threw her clothes to the side and lowered himself so his body hovered over hers. She watched him as his head tilted down to press a kiss to her forehead and then he just continued lower. Her nose, lips, neck, collarbone, her chest. He only paused once he got to the top of her breasts, his eyes flickering up towards her. She knew that look from the first time and immediately narrowed her eyes at him. All he did in return was smirk and then move his hands to the bottom of her shirt instead of just tearing the flimsy material.

The process of getting it and her bra off was fast and before she could throw the material his lips were around her right nipple. He suckled on it and allowed his tongue to teasingly circle the bud. It hardened faster than when exposed to cool air. And despite his complete focus on that one he didn’t leave the left one out. Hoseok rubbed the peak between his fingers and occasionally pulled on it. And at some point he switched nipples giving each the same treatment the other had received.

Somewhere along the way YN’s eyes fluttered closed as she unraveled under his mouth. It aroused her; her body ready for another climax. And though she knew it was possible with him just doing that she wanted something more.

Though she knew what it could earn her YN began squirming underneath him. Her movements were small at first, but the more they went ignored the more she moved. Until finally Hoseok bit down on her left nipple and she released an involuntary moan, that sounded slightly like a scream.

He pressed a soft kiss to it after that and then pulled away from her chest, brow raised as he looked down at her.

“Impatient, are we?” 

“A little,” YN whispered.

And for a moment that made the expression on his face shift. The smile on his lips was genuine and he even reached up to softly caress her cheek. But it truly only lasted for a moment before he was back to staring her down with a mischievous look.

“Rushing me will cost you, baby. But don’t worry you’ll enjoy it,” he said with a wink.

That sparked a little fear into YN, but also made her eagerly anticipate what was to come. And Hoseok was nice enough to not leave her waiting for too long.

Just as he had been before he pressed kisses down her body. The ones across her stomach tickled, but she tried her best to fight the giggles that wanted to escape. She focused on the way he got slower as he got closer to between her legs. How his eyes flickered up towards her every so often as he did it. She thought he would tease her by placing kisses against her thighs or just close enough to her clit without touching it, but he did no such thing.

The moment Hoseok’s head was between her legs his lips suckled on her clit, his fingers spreading her open for him. A gasp sounded from her at the abrupt action, the feeling of his warm mouth heightening the pleasure of his touch. The way he sucked on it with enough force that it stimulated her enough without extra interaction. 

But then he abruptly stopped.

 In place of his lips was his thumb, rubbing slow circles against her clit. His mouth ventured lower, his tongue lapping at the cum from her previous climax. He made a purring sound as he licked her clean and they were almost drowned out by the noises YN was making. She hadn’t realized she missed being eaten out, especially by Hoseok, until he was doing it and she didn’t want him to stop. Surely, she could come several times just from his mouth.

But of course just as she grew comfortable with that he switched it up on her. His tongue still ran along her folds, but he used his hand not against her clit to slip a finger inside of her. Which caused her hips to jolt and her to arch to be closer to him. That made him laugh and the vibrations from it heightened the pleasure she felt and made her arch even more. 

However, Hoseok put that to a stop quickly. 

Because of her neediness he stopped playing with her clit to use that arm to push her hips down. She whined at the loss and was going to vocally object, but then the finger inside of her began moving. It was a brisk back and forth motion, but then he curled it upwards and again her hips jolted. There was no chance for her to move closer though because he maintained pressure to keep her down.

After a bit of going on like that Hoseok pulled away to look up at her. His lips formed a pout, but she knew that it was just to tease her.

“You’re squirming so much, love. Is it because you want more?” he asked.

YN caught herself about to nod and cleared her throat before speaking. Though it didn’t help the voice crack.

“Yes.”

Instead of continuing from there Hoseok stared at her and for several seconds she was confused, but then she got it.

“Yes, Daddy,” she whispered.

“Good girl.”

Those were his final words before his mouth reattached to her clit and he added a second finger. His pace before had been moderate, but that time he moved his fingers at a briskly and slammed them into her as if they were his dick. 

Naturally, there were no complaints from her. With her lip between her teeth she propped herself up on her elbows to get a better view of him. The attention to her pussy was one thing but watching him do it was another. Seeing the way his mouth attacked her clit made her even wetter and she felt the coil in her stomach tightening. 

At one point he hit just the right spot with his fingers that it had her screaming out for him. She even almost lost balance and barely caught herself before she was flat on her back again.

“More. Please more,” she begged.

Despite not using his title Hoseok didn’t deny her of her request. He slid both fingers out and then slipped in three instead. It was a bit of a stretch, but she didn’t mind at all. And a stretch is what she’d need before she could take him. 

And of course, the thought of taking him only brought her more pleasure.

She reached a point where she knew she was moments away from cumming again and she needed it bad. So, she laid back again and used her hands to play with her nipples. Pinching and twisting them to respark their sensitivity. All while watching Hoseok between her legs.

Who knows how long it took, but unlike her first orgasm she felt that one coming. Her body tensed, her hips bucking enough that Hoseok lost his grip and couldn’t stop her from arching up. 

Not that he really tried.

While she came he was still licking her and his fingers were still driving into her. They didn’t slow or falter for a second. And he kept going even after she’d finished. Which meant that he was working on her sensitive pussy. She always needed a minute between orgasms, but Hoseok wouldn’t let up.

Whimpers escaped her lips from the discomfort, but then Hoseok made eye contact. He held her gaze in a way that ensured she couldn’t look away and she watched as he pulled his fingers out of her and licked each one clean. A moan got stuck in her throat as she watched him, her lips aching to be the ones around his fingers instead. 

The show didn’t stop there though. Once he’d licked clean Hoseok lowered his head again and YN watched him lick her thoroughly. She could feel his tongue on every part of her pussy and with the way her body reacted it felt like she was dealing with orgasm aftershocks. But nothing compared to the moment when he wrapped his arms around her thighs and yanked her forward before tongue fucking her.

“Fuck,” she whispered repeatedly.

Her eyes clamped shut, but Hoseok dug his fingers into her thigh and she reopened them. His eyes were still on her as he continued fucking her that way and they entranced her again. All she wanted to do was watch him. 

Then, in an embarrassing amount of time, she found her pussy spasming and herself cumming again. It was strong and a little painful, but nothing that she couldn’t handle. Until of course it didn’t end as it usually did. She laid there for a while and was unsure how much time passed before her body truly relaxed. Her eyes had glossed over and by the time she came to fully Hoseok was hovering over her with a smile but worry in his eyes.

She took a deep breath and then spoke. “I’m good.”

A sigh escaped him and she assumed it was one of relief. 

“Good. But maybe I should give you a break for a bit. I have something else you can do,” he said.

Though a tad drained the idea of him having something for her to do made her perk up. She really hoped it was what she thought it was. 

After pressing a quick kiss to her lips Hoseok climbed off the bed and though confused for a moment soon enough she heard things dropping onto the floor and the sound of a zipper. Following a few deep breaths she sat up fully and watched as Hoseok pushed down his jeans and boxers. 

And just like that she was drooling. 

His dick was hard and a bit red from lack of attention. It pressed up against his stomach and she could see how wide it was. Hoseok was about average size in length, but in girth he definitely surpassed her past sexual partners and the few pornstars she frequently watched if she was failing to cum on her own. 

Him inside her was a nice stretch. That included her mouth and pussy. 

So, the moment she had it within reach she got on her hands and knees to crawl towards him. She stopped at the edge of the bed and though she wanted to grab it immediately she didn’t. Her head tilted back a little and she looked up at him with a soft pout upon her lips.

Of course Hoseok knew what she wanted, but naturally he wouldn’t just give it to her.

“Words,” he said. 

She chose her words carefully. “Can I touch you?”

That stupid mischievous grin made an appearance again and she was sure he was going to deny her or find some way to twist her words. Hoseok was like a genie and you often had to be specific.

But he surprised her.

“Go ahead. I’ll save that for another time. Right now I just want to feel that sweet little mouth of yours.”

YN didn’t need to be told twice. Her hand wrapped around him as she used her other arm to prop her up a little. Not bothering with teasing her mouth opened and she took in a quarter of his dick. She lightly sucked on the tip, coating it with her saliva. That didn’t last for long because soon enough she was releasing the head and running her tongue along him. There was no guarantee that she’d be able to take him fully and she needed something to coat him while she simultaneously jerked him off.

Though her focus was his dick it didn’t mean she left his balls hanging. After she’d hit base her head lowered and she took it all on in her mouth, sucking it hard. It’s what finally got a response out of Hoseok, who tended to try and keep his cool.

And the grunting noise he made only incentivized her. She released it from her mouth and her tongue flicked across both of them. Her mouth occasionally enclosing around one of them.

It didn’t last long because one tug of her braid and she was kissing up his cock until she reached the tip. Her eyes angled up to make eye contact with Hoseok as her lips parted and she took him in. That time she took him in about halfway before raising her head nearly off him. She maintained eye contact as her head bobbed and she got into a rhythm and then she broke it to take him down farther.

Her right hand firmly on the lower half of his dick moved as she moved her mouth. They moved in perfect unison and when her mouth tightened around him, so did her hand. YN worked herself up to a good pace that way, reaching a point where she was moving in a way that made it easier for her to take more of him. It stretched her cheeks a fair amount, but what was a little discomfort when she got to choke on his dick.

And choke she did.

Once she got comfortable she got more adventurous. Doing her best to keep her mouth wide and relaxed she took in most of him, leaving and inch or two untouched. But after several attempts she finally conquered all of it, taking him down her throat and holding it before coming back up for air. She did that as many times as she could.

Hoseok seemed to appreciate it if the sounds he made were any indication. Or the way he fisted her hair.

It was clear that he was close and goodness did YN want him to cum in her mouth. She ached for him to climax as if it were her doing it and with how worked up she was it would definitely lead to hers sooner rather than later.

To move things along her hand moved down to massage his poor neglected balls. She’d been so focused on getting him into her mouth she’d forgotten to give them attention. So, she carefully rubbed them around in her hand, squeezing every so often. 

Response from him was positive and she could feel that he was ready to let go.

“Stop. I am not cumming in your mouth. Not this time,” he said through gritted teeth.

Despite that YN didn’t stop. In fact, she picked up speed and deep throated him while squeezing his balls and despite his efforts to pull her off it didn’t happen in time. His release came out in spurts and shot down her throat. As it did she slowly pulled him out of her mouth, though she didn’t fully release him until she was sure he was done. 

If she was going to get in trouble she was going to make sure she got every drop of it.

The moment she pulled away though she was suddenly being pushed back on the bed. Before she could even respond Hoseok was over her and though his eyes appeared blown out from the orgasm there was also some anger radiating off him.

“What did I tell you to do? Stop. And yet you can’t seem to follow instructions. This is the third time you’ve gotten daddy riled up baby and I’ve been nice but that has to end,” he said.

His voice was so soft with its false sense of kindness that if she hadn’t known what she did pissed him off she’d think it wouldn’t be that bad. But Hoseok was a consistent and forward person, he’d made his rules and intentions clear upon the first meeting and she knew they hadn’t changed. Not unless she wanted something different and even then they wouldn’t budge all that much.

Knowing Hoseok expected no response from her she remained silent, which didn’t seem to make him upset or pleased which she preferred. Honestly, she preferred him to say something, anything else. But he remained hovered over her, his smile growing in a way that almost made him appear a bit scary, which made her worry a little bit about what would come.

Punishment could be anything.

Then after making her squirm under his gaze Hoseok rolled off her, laying on his side beside her instead. He didn’t utter any commands, just used his own hands to spread her legs farther. It gave him the perfect view of her glistening pussy. A mix of her last orgasm and her arousal from sucking his dick. 

Next thing she knew his hand made contact in a swift slapping motion against her pussy and she jumped a little. The pain was sudden and slowly dwindled to nothingness. Not that he really allowed her to experience that relief before his hand made contact again. Each strike was harder then the last and they were so out of rhythm that YN could never truly prepare for the next one. 

Despite that it didn’t stop or halt her arousal, in fact it merely ramped up. If she couldn’t feel how wet she was, surely she could hear it every time he spanked her. The noise was loud and clear.

“So, now your compliant. Not fighting me much or putting up a fuss. Just sitting here and taking it. You must really be enjoying yourself,” Hoseok said just as he made his hardest impact.

A tingle ran down her spine and YN couldn’t be sure if it was from the pain or the pleasure. Maybe a mix of both. Or just his words.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. I wouldn’t want you to not have some fun. And with how fucking soaked you are, I should be able to do this with ease.”

Before she could process what he meant two of his fingers slipped inside of her. There was no buildup of the pace or the intensity, he simply moved them as quickly as he could and with every push in his palm slapped against her clit. It was overwhelming to go from one intense form of stimulation to the other so quickly and without warning. Her body felt like it vibrated as she endured it.

Very quickly it became too much, because despite Hoseok not having a lot of leverage from his position he still knew how to do it just right. How to bend and twist his fingers just enough to make penetration feel like enough to make her reach climax. 

And she almost reached it, her walls tighten around his fingers and she felt ready to go over the edge, but then he stopped.

Bewildered YN turned her head to look at him. Hoseok just stared at her with a smile. It’s when she realized what her punishment truly was. The spanking wasn’t enough, he was going to deny her orgasm. 

She wanted to scream.

“Open,” he said.

Though she didn’t know why he wanted her to do that she still complied. Her mouth opened as wide as it could get and then he placed the fingers that had been inside her between her lips. And without having to be told her mouth enclosed around them, sucking them clean.

“You thought you were going to get to cum again didn’t you? How greedy of you, baby. You can’t think I’d let you off that easily?”

Not being able to speak, but also knowing no response could make things worse YN nodded. Her movements were slow and she watched his expression closely to see how he’d react. The small genuine smile that graced his lips for a moment let her know that she’d done the right thing.

After she’d thoroughly licked his fingers clean he pulled them from her mouth and they went back down between her legs. They didn’t slip in immediately though, instead he used them to rub circles and figure eights on her clit. It was sensitive from his previous actions, so every touch made her hips buck forward. She couldn’t keep still and Hoseok seemed to be amused by it. 

“So sensitive and responsive. You’d think that you’d be running away from me and yet you press forward wanting more. So eager for daddy, love?” he asked.

“Yes,” YN said, though it came out hoarse so she repeated it.

Hoseok hummed in response, his fingers moved lower and then he slid three inside of her. She’d cum enough and was wet enough that they entered with ease. That didn’t mean she didn’t feel the stretch they caused, which was so delicious that she purred in response to it.

The pace that time was slow. Painstakingly slow. YN wasn’t sure if it was better or worse, but at least it was something. And with her impending orgasm having not faded quickly the buildup happened faster. Though she ached to tease her clit to move things along but knowing Hoseok that would make it worse.

And she feared that he’d snatch it away again.

While she languished in the feel of his fingers her head fell back against the bed and she moaned out. Her hands longed for something to do, so she slowly creeped them up to her breasts. When Hoseok caught wind of the movement he stared at her for a moment before nodding. Not needing to be told twice her fingers lightly flitted over her nipples. They hadn’t been played with in a while but were still rock hard and responsive to her touch. As she carefully tweaked and pulled at them a chill ran through her.

It felt so close and she needed it so bad. She pinched harder hoping to ignite more pleasure in herself and push things along, which helped greatly. Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt her walls pulsate and she hit the edge, but again it was snatched from her.

“Nope. Eyes open baby,” Hoseok said and though she couldn’t see him she could hear the amusement in his voice.

Her eyes flew open and she cried out, her body shaking a little from the feeling of being denied yet again. She felt so frustrated and eventually let out a scream to make that clear.

But that didn’t seem to faze Hoseok one bit. The little shit just laid there and smiled down at her. 

“Poor baby. You can’t hide those pretty eyes from me. You have to watch while I do this. Can you do that?” he asked.

Though her want to be compliant waned she nodded and mumbled a yes.

Apparently, it was enough for Hoseok because he slid his finger back inside of her and continued his painfully slow fingering. 

That made YN more frustrated than she could comprehend and she was eager to defy him, but she thought of something better. Turning her head she looked at Hoseok whose eyes were glued between her legs, but eventually met her own. She chewed on her lower lip and stared into his eyes, whimpering and moaning whenever he hit just the right spot. No matter how much she wanted to close her eyes in pleasure she resisted and maintained that contact. 

It wasn’t instantaneous, but there was a shift in Hoseok. He went from stoic and mischievous to the lust filled eyes he’d had in the car on the way there. His fingers picked up the pace – which she wasn’t sure was intentional – and he watched closely as she continued to voice sounds of pleasure.

Something in him was cracking.

Not seeing that as enough of a change in him YN reached over to cup the back of his head, her own moving closer to press a kiss against his lips. It was gentle, but passionate and she knew that her neediness was clear. After she pulled away, but only enough that she could see his eyes and he happened to hit just the right spot to set her off.

“Please, Daddy. Please. I need to cum so bad,” she whispered.

There was no reaction for a few seconds, but then his fingers pulled out and she thought she’d failed. That wasn’t the case though.

“On your hands and knees, baby. The only way you’re cumming again is on my cock,” he said.

YN was sure she had never moved so fast in her life, because within three seconds she’d flipped on her stomach and pushed herself up. Not only was a climax imminent, but he was also doing her preferred position. The way her stomach flipped didn’t even feel like it relayed how eager and happy she was. 

The moment she was in position Hoseok’s hand was on her hip and she felt his dick rub against her folds. It would have annoyed her minutes before, but at that moment all she could think about was it being inside of her. 

“Condom?” he asked.

Her response was immediate. 

“No. Goodness no. I just need you in me.”

Laughter escaped Hoseok at that and then he didn’t hesitate to push inside. Aware his thickness he didn’t slide in all at once and entered her a few inches at a time. Not that YN would’ve minded him doing that.

Once he made that final inch he paused. 

“You good, baby?” he asked.

Despite barely being adjusted to the stretch she nodded frantically.

“For the love of all that is, yes. Please move. I need you to move,” she cried out.

And that was all he needed to hear.

Hands gripping her waist, Hoseok pulled out and then pushed back in. His pace was moderate and slowly sped up. Just like with his fingers he slammed into her as hard as he could with the kind of leverage he had and YN was thankful for it.

If she had been vocal before it was ten times that with his dick inside of her. Her own moans were cut off by each other when he hit the right spot, especially when he continuously found it. She could feel herself build up again and she would be damned if she lost out one more time.

“Faster. More, please.”

The words were soft, but with the change up in stroke she was sure he heard her. And from the way he also released a series of moans it was clear the shift was needed for both. That both of them were on the brink.

One stroke in particular sent a wave of pleasure through her and she could feel that she was close. 

“Fuck. Close. So, fucking close,” she screamed.

In an instant Hoseok’s arm was around her waist and he was pulling her up to press against his chest. YN was shocked, but she went with it since it hadn’t dulled her own pleasure and she felt so fucking full of him.

“Play with your clit for me, love,” Hoseok whispered in her ear.

Her hand shot down and she used two fingers to press against it. They moved at the same pace that he fucked her in and with how sensitive it still was her hips bucked each time she applied pressure. But goodness did it do the trick.

There was a momentary freeze up and she felt herself unravel a half a second before she did.

“I’m cum…”

The force of it rendered her speechless. Even the moans she’d been letting out ceased, her mouth agape as she came. And it didn’t end quickly nor was it her usual minimal mess climax. She could feel herself squirt around his dick, though it didn’t fully process; too busy experiencing the euphoric moment.

When she finished her body fell forward and Hoseok released his grip, allowing her to fall onto her hands as he continued to fuck into her. His pace picked up, but his strokes were less uniform and a bit all over the place. Soon enough he was cumming inside of her.

“Fuck!” he yelled.

What happened after that was a mystery to YN because she spaced out hard as she came down from her high and regained control of her breathing. When she finally did tune back into reality she was on her back and Hoseok – who was also breathing heavy – was smiling down at her.

“Making you wait wasn’t so bad now was it?” he joked.

Naturally, YN’s hand reached out to swat at him, but she was too tired and missed the mark completely. Hoseok laughed at her and then leaned down for a quick kiss before getting off the bed.

“I’ll be right back,” he said and then went to the ensuite.

Still not fully recovered, YN took a moment to get her breathing back to normal completely. It took a minute, but she did it. Though the way her pussy pulsated proved to be a little uncomfortable and altered her focus a few times.

By the time she was able to sit up Hoseok returned. He grabbed her hand and helped her off the bed, seeing her legs buckle he wrapped his arm around her waist and led her to the bathroom. Once inside he helped her over to the toilet so she could pee, and then into the bath he’d drawn. 

The hot water was too much at first, but after a few seconds and slowly immersing herself she adjusted to it. And it felt so good against her skin. 

After ensuring she was comfortable Hoseok went to leave, but YN reached out and grabbed his hand. A pout on her lips.

“Where are you going? Are you not going to join me?” she asked.

Hoseok leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I'll be back in a minute. I just need to take care of the sheets so we can lay down after,” he said.

That had her blushing and dropping his hand immediately. 

Laughter followed Hoseok as he made his exit to do what he needed, but YN didn’t take it to her. Instead she focused on relaxing in the tub. Her eyes fluttered shut and her body sank lower. She’d gotten so calm and comfortable that she didn’t notice him come back until he moved her body forward so he could slip behind her.

Despite the change it didn’t affect her comfort, it enhanced it more than anything. Her eyes didn’t even open.

At first at least.

Seconds in Hoseok began trailing kisses along her collar. The sudden touch surprised her, despite already being wrapped up in him. But it only lasted for a moment before they fluttered shut again, a content sigh leaving her.

They sat there in silence for a while, but Hoseok had something to say.

“So, is the first date the right time to ask you to be my girlfriend?” 

YN scoffed. “We both know this is like date twenty.”

“Oh, so you acknowledge that our hang outs were dates. How convenient.”

“Oh, hush,” she said as she pinched his thigh.

Of course, he whined about that, but stopped quickly. 

“So does that mean it isn’t and you will be my girlfriend?” 

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“What do you mean oh,” she said, turning to see his face.

“I thought you’d make me beg.”

“Okay, never mind. I take it back, I won’t be your girlfriend.”

“No, no… No take backs.”

And for the rest of the bath time they bickered, even as they finally made the attempt to clean themselves and not just sit. It was safe to say they were nearly prunes when they finally got out. 

Psst... if you like this pairing I’ll be following their story years after this moment for my Bangtan Boardwalk collab with @BangtanHQ in late August. It’ll be called ‘With All My Heart.’

[animatorweirdo]

Breaking point

You have started struggling with your mental health after many terrible sessions, assisting Maluk with his experiments. Melui gets assaulted once again and it was the last straw. You allow the beast inside you to get free. 

Warning; Attempt of a sexual assault, cursing and violence. 

Chapter 15

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This has been happening for four days. Four fucking days. You were not sure if you can continue it much longer. You just wanted to break down and destroy everything around you. It was like you were filled with painful fuel and you were ready to explode like a raging bomb.

Maluk has demanded you as his lab assistant to fulfill your debt to him. You didn't think much of it first and obeyed like a good servant. It wasn't bad in the beginning. You literally just had to clean his stuff and the lab, but then... The experiments happened. He made you watch as he tested on poor elves and it was crucial. All that screaming and the blood. They were literally implanted in your head and you couldn't escape them even in your cell. Maluk forced his test subjects to drink some weird potions and the after-effects were horrifying. He was literally testing poison on living beings. That happened for two days, then he switched on something more crucial. He started strapping his living test subjects on tables and cut them open, while they were still conscious. He made you stand on the sideline and watch the scene. You lost count on how many times you almost gagged from the sight.

You could have done something. Ask him to stop, but that was a stupid choice. Who are you to tell an insane scientist to stop what he's doing in his own lab? Give the elves something that could relieve the pain, but you literally have nothing to help them. Maluk would notice if you took something from his shelves, and you didn't want to get into trouble. You promised Nelle you wouldn't do something stupid. It was hard, but you tried to stand your ground and watch as the poor souls were killed by the insane maiar doctor.

You did dare to ask him why he was doing it, and he simply answered 'for the good of the Dark lord'. His other answer was... That he was simply curious and enjoyed his concoctions taking effect. It was twisted and mentally sick.

It didn't end there. When you finally were released to do other cleaning duties and; It seemed Maluk took every chance to fill your head with sick test suggestions or what he does to his next lab rat. It looked like you two were having innocent conversations but the subjects were far from innocent. You were not sure why he seemed to test your every nerve. It was like he wanted to see how much your nerves can withstand all the screaming, blood, and constant pain of others. And it was working, because you're almost at your breaking point.

You can't stand all the tortures those elves were going through and you even had a suggestion to end their pain yourself. To finally release them from the torture they were forced to put in. The thought scared you so much, you had to speak about it with Nelle. She was surprisingly supportive about it and tried to comfort you. Melui tried too, but you couldn't muffle the screams that haunted you during the nights.

Four fucking days and you were ready to lose it. Why was Maluk so keen on making you watch and fill your head with such horrifying scenes? This was too much even for you. You had seen blood and some screwed-up stuff, but this was crossing the line. Did you make Maluk angry at some point? You didn't know, but you had an odd feeling. Whenever you passed the main hall, you felt like Langon was looking at you. His eyes piercing down on your soul like he wanted to see you break down your walls. It was almost unbearable. Why were these guys so keen on seeing you break?

You rubbed your eyes a bit, trying not to be seen tired. You sighed and looked at the last of Maluk's torture tools which needed to be cleaned from blood. Two more to go, then you can leave. You took the next thing from Maluk's torture devices and started cleaning. Wash the blood off from these and you can go. Your eyes were drooping badly and you could barely stay up. You were wobbling on the stool you sat upon. You lightly smacked yourself awake. Don't fall asleep idiot. You can rest when you return to your cell.

You took the last torture tool and dipped it in the water. The water has been turned red and dirty from all the blood you had to clean. Elven blood. You silently loathed the existence of the crazy scientist, who only enjoyed torture and death. You wanted to rip the scar on his face open and make it worse. No, you wanted to rip his face right off his skull and make him eat it while you rip out his carcass and break his bones. You wanted to shove the poisons into his throat and see how he would like the taste of his own medicine while they burned his throat right open. You only needed to wait for the moon and let the wendigo - wait a moment! You stopped and frowned at yourself. Why would you ever suggest using the wendigo? That got to be the stupidest idea ever. You can't control it!

You almost fell from your chair because your balance wobbled. "Oopsie daisy!" Maluk grabbed your shoulder and balanced you back on the stool. Your heart started beating anxiously from fright as you looked at him. You didn't hear him coming at all and now he saw you like this. "Feeling a bit sleepy now, are we, my dear?" He asked. "... No," You shook your head, denying it. "No need to deny it, but I suggest you stay awake, or other wise you might not be able to do your other duties," He said. He then suddenly had a face like he had a light pulp over his head. "Oh, I actually got something that might help you," He walked to one of his tables. You stared and looked at him with curiosity and with worry. What was he up to this time? He came back with an open bottle. He held the bottle in front of you. "Sniff this and your tiredness will go away," He smiled. You stared at the open bottle with great suspicion. That can't be just something that removes tiredness, and you really don't want to be his test subject. "Don't worry, it's not poisonous if that's what you fear," Maluk said with an amused smirk. You almost glared at him. Hatred toward this guy was pure. You glanced at the bottle then leaned forward to bring your nose close to its opening. You took a few sniffs.

Your eyes widened in shock and you pulled back in a reflex. Your bad breakfast bread almost came out if you didn't hold your gag. What the fuck was that?! It smelled disgusting like a rotten corpse was put inside a tiny bottle. You mentally whined and groaned in disgust because you couldn't express it openly with Maluk around. You held your nose shut because your nose was painfully stinging. You glanced at Maluk with a plain expression. Well, he was right about the tiredness going away. "Better?" He asked with that fake smile of his. You didn't say anything and just nodded, rubbing your stinging nose. "Well, that's great. You can go now, don't worry about the last equipment," He said motioning at the last thing you need to clean. "Really?" You asked, confused. "Yeah, you can go," He nodded. You hesitated a bit before standing up. "Thank you, my lord," You bowed and made your way to the exit. Maluk smiled as he watched you leave. It's showtime.

You walked in the hallway then finally came to the kitchen where Nelle and Melui were sited. Melui noticed your arrival. "(Name), how are you feeling? " He asked. "Same as usual-!" Your nose suddenly stung harder and it was emitting a burning booger. What the hell! You rubbed your nose, then processed your situation. Your nose was stinging hard, your face was starting to burn up and your eyes also were drying up for some reason. You tilted your head and suddenly it became woozy. "(Name), what's wrong? " Melui asked with a worried tone. Both Nelle and Melui were looking at you with concern. You had no clue what was going on. "I... I don't know," You said. You tried to move but your legs suddenly were giving out. You quickly held on to the wall for support. Nelle and Melui almost jumped when you did that. Melui quickly came beside you and supported you by your shoulder. You were having a bit difficult time breathing. It was like the air in your lungs became heavier. You tried to take a deep breath and calm yourself. Nelle came over and put the back of her hand against your fire head. "You're having a fewer," She said. Huh? You swiped your forehead and noticed you had sweat on your hand. Now that she mentions it. It was becoming kinda hot. You breathed heavily. Too hot to handle. How in the fucking hell you managed to catch a fever?!

"(Name), did Maluk do something to you?" Nelle asked. "No, not really," You shook your head. Then it hit you. The bottle! You sniffed the thing that was inside that bottle he gave you to sniff. You mentally groaned. You were cautious that something like this would happen and you still sniffed the concoction that probably could turn you into a toad.

"I was almost falling asleep, so he made me smell a weird scent from a bottle," You explained. Nelle nodded. "It smelled really bad, but I wasn't tired after that, but now I kinda feel like shit," You said. "There is no way you can suddenly catch a fewer. You were fine this morning," Nelle stated. "Actually you can catch a fewer with a cold cell, poor food diet, and days without a proper path, but yeah, this doesn't feel like a normal fewer," You acted like a smart-ass. Nelle glared at you which made you shut up. "I'll go get something to help with the fewer. Can you handle some of the chores with Melui?" She asked. You sniffed with your stinging nose. "I think I can," You said. She nodded then turned to Melui. "Look after her," She said. "I will," He nodded. Nelle then walked out of the kitchen and you were left with your white-haired elf friend.

"Come on, how about you rest a bit? I can take care of some of the work?" Melui helped you to sit down on a stool. "I can't. An orc might come yelling. We can't be caught 'slacking'," You said the last part with a sarcastic tone. "Well... How about I stay on guard while you rest and when I see someone coming I signal you then you can continue working?" He suggested. You thought about it for a moment. That might work. You nodded in approval. "Okay, but only if we take turns so you can rest as well. I want to have it fair for both of us," You said. Melui smiled. He had a pretty sweet smile. "Alright, let's do it," He said and you nodded.

You two continued with working. It was peaceful and you were dealing well with your sudden fewer. However, you two were completely unaware of a pair of eyes watching you two with malicious intent.

Maluk was just playing around with his tools and thinking of new recipes for poisons and concoctions to deal more pain to his test subjects. He had an evil grin on his face. Someone knocked on the doors of his lab, disturbing his alone time. He frowned in annoyance. Usually, Langon would be boring enough to knock when he is visiting, or maybe... It was someone else. "Come in," He called, throwing his tool away and turning toward his visitor. The doors opened and someone unexpected came in. He grinned as he recognized the mystery person.

"What do I own the pleasure to see you coming here willingly, sister dear?" He asked. Nelle glared at him. "What did you gave to (Name), Nelo?" She asked. He glared at her for a moment before turning back to his usual grin. "I don't know why is it so hard to get that my name is now Maluk, Nelo died a long time ago. As for your other question. I know no one with a name (Name)," He grinned. Nelle growled and glared at him. "The human. What did you give to her?" She asked. "Oh! So her name is (Name)! Sorry if I don't bother knowing your pet's names," He said with fake sympathy. "She's not a pet, and just answer the question," She stated. "Bossy as much. Have you forgotten your place? You are in no place to make demands to me. You might as well tell Langon to give this fortress back to the elves," He said. "... No... What did you gave her... Lord Maluk?" Nelle asked. "Now was that really hard? Do not worry I just gave your little human friend something to refresh her fea from fatigue," He said. "You what?" Nelle questioned. "She has a serious fewer now," She said. "Oh... Well, maybe the concoction was a bit too strong for her, or a human," He grinned. "Humans are so fragile if she even is one," He said. "What do you mean by that?" Nelle frowned. "Really Nelle, you're asking that? Tell me how long did you intend to hide little (Name) from us?" He asked. "I do not know what you mean," Nelle said. "Are you sure or are you still playing dumb?" He asked. She frowned in confusion. It was silent for a moment.

"Oh. Oh!" Maluk started laughing. "You really don't know, do you?" He asked. "Know what?" She asked. "Alright, I tell you," He calmed down from his laughing fit. "Langon thinks little (Name) is not a human, so he told me to reveal what's she's keeping hidden under her skin," He said. "I started noticing too that she has something hidden deep within her fea," He added. "I first thought I could crack her up with all my experiments since humans tend to be more sensitive on the subject of pain and misery," He smiled. "But... Then I got bored and gave her a concoction that forces to fea to become... Sensitive," He said, then chuckled. "By weakening the body?" Nelle questioned. "Correct," He said. "If she's indeed a maiar in disguise. She would have to come out and fix her body from breaking," He added. Silence took over as Nelle progressed the information. She has been with you for a long time and she knows you're not a maiar. Maiar can hide their fea from other creatures but other maiars can sense it. Your fea is wide open and you are not even trying to hide. You're not even able to do such a thing because humans cannot sense their own fea.

"You're wrong. She's a pure human by body and fea," Nelle said. Maluk hummed in amusement like he found the statement funny. "We will see. Wanna bet for it?" He asked. He took a vial from his table and held it toward Nelle. "If she's a pure human as you say, use this to reverse the fewer," He threw the vial to her. She caught it with no problem. "But! If she's a maiar, you will not interfere when Langon and I deal with her," Maluk smirked. Nelle held down her glare. There was no way you were a maiar. "Let's see how she will manage before the moonrise," He says. "Deal," Nelle said then left through the door. The door banged shut behind her.

"So rude. She forgot she is a servant and has to ask permission to leave... Why did end up with a sister like her," Maluk said then stared through the window ceiling at the sky.

You don't know what or how it happened. You and Melui were doing your chores and minding your business, but then... You found yourself on the floor, held down by two orcs. A familiar orc was holding Melui by his hair. Your poor friend was whimpering and crying in fear. Your fewer was also making your situation worse. You could barely hold on to your consciousness and vision. Everything was burning and you could not stop the shaking your body was doing. How did it come to this? Melui gasped when the orc pulled his hair quite hard.

"Let him go! You fat piece of shit!" You yelled out in anger, not holding back your vulgar language. One of the orcs above you kicked your head down. You grunted in pain as your head hit the floor. Ow!

The orc snorted then held Melui close to his face sniffing the poor elf's hair. "I couldn't have my fun because that bitch interfered and that taking servants is not approved, so I better make this quick," He said. "No! Please no!" Melui quivered in terror. Your eyes widened, then you struggled with all your strength. There was no way you can allow that to happen! You bit and kicked, hitting the orcs with all your anger and strength. The orcs above you actually had trouble keeping you down. "Grr... Beat the bitch down!" The orc ordered. The two orcs then started punching and kicking you with all their force. They were stronger than you, so you easily went down, covering yourself from their assault. They didn't stop there and continued beating you. " (Name)! " Melui yelled out but was held back by the orc. He was then pushed against the table and held down that his face laid against the surface. The orc touched his hips while holding him down. "Do not yell or your friend will die," The orc stated, then started grabbing on his clothes. "No! No! Please!" He whimpered as he was powerless against the assault that was going to happen to him.

Your brain was triggered when you heard Melui's whimpers. That orc was gonna do something that will traumatize him for life! Melui was an elf and elves were immortal. He would be remembering this day how he was sexually assaulted by an orc, an orc! And you were getting beaten up like a misbehaving dog. The orcs. You hated them. You hated this place. You hated the orcs. You hated Maluk and his psychotic nature. You hated them all. They deserve to die!

Your heart released a powerful familiar pulse, and you felt like something just snapped inside you. Like chains were unbound. Your skin became white in a second, and your eyes covered in eyes as your furious bright blue eyes shined through. There was only one thing in your mind as you set your gaze upon the orc holding Melui.

Kill them all!

[alightwhendarknessfell]

Let’s Talk

I’ve thought a lot about the situation concerning Ashley/Black Veil and the greater issues at hand here over the past few days. I’ve also spoken with a lot of people about things. 

Personally, this situation has turned into something that is causing myself to lose sleep and become very anxious. The likelihood that Ashley actually gets formally reprimanded for his actions is low just based on how cases like this typically go, and it’s quite clear that while people now know the type of person he is and that his career in music is over, those who still support him will continue no matter what. He will more than likely dwindle into irrelevancy and probably end up in jail for drinking and driving eventually. 

I have personally witnessed how this has affected the people involved, some of which are even close friends of mine. I believe that Twitter is great for some things, and catching people’s attention and spreading information is one of those things, but it can also be an incredibly toxic place. As a victim of sexual assault myself I feel for every one of the victims and fighting with people every day on Twitter who are willing to go to disgusting lengths to defend monsters like Ashley is exhausting. In my personal opinion at this point I believe people’s mental health is being harmed by the back and forth (not speaking for everyone, but I have personally seen how this is affecting people’s lives). And I don’t know how much more good can come from more Twitter arguments. 

With my MCAT approaching I need to get myself in the right head space and jumping every time my phone goes off because is it someone attacking me? Is it another victim? Is it someone in pain? That’s not a good head space. I also see the conversation at times going in a direction that I am not comfortable with or that I do not have enough information to put myself in. 

I do not want to out victims or people that do not want to have their story out there. I do not want to hunt down people and make them relive their trauma or pressure them to speak when doing so could cause a significant disruption to their lives. I’m not saying that is what is happening but I just don’t want it to A) come off that way or B) become that. In addition to that, it is very clear from a legal standpoint that Black Veil cannot say what people want them to say without breaking the NDA (at the benefit of Ashley). Ashley has retreated to his subscription only accounts and so that kind of leaves everyone at a stand still. This situation is incredibly complicated and perhaps in time there can be a conversation had but I just don’t think that time is right now. 

Speaking broadly, I will say that I am not for the cancellation of entire groups of people based of the actions of one person. I believe doing so can bring down innocent people or even potentially other victims. Should there be some punishment for succumbing to the bystander effect? I think that is fair, I think you can’t make blanket one size fits all statements but inaction can hurt too. And I think you should try and gather as many facts before deciding on any form of punishment for actions or inaction. Should you give people the chance to own up to their shortcomings and change for the better? I think so. Should inaction receive the same punishment as actions? I don’t think so, I think doing so allows the truly evil to fade into the background and minimizes their actions. 

I want to see significant change in the music industry with not only more protection for fans but for musicians as well. I see young kids, sometimes not even 18 thrown into an industry that has a habit of making monsters and addicts. The amount of leeches that feed and prey on these young musicians and don’t give a second thought to if that harms them is a big issue. Stop normalizing alcoholism and addiction. Stop watching your bandmate drink themself into a blackout every night.  Don’t create situations where a power dynamic allows people to get away with criminal actions. Check your bandmate when they say or do problematic things. I think there’s been a culture of ‘everyone looks after themselves’ but that’s clearly not working. I think if you are a band and you want to continue into the future that attitude has to change. The past can’t be changed, but the future sure as hell can. 

Beyond that, fan safety needs to be a priority. COVID-19 will change concerts and live music. And honestly, good. There should be more sanitation precautions when you have thousands of people packed together. The Route 91 mass shooting changed security at shows, and good, people should be searched for weapons. 

I think there are ideas that could prevent or reduce the situations in which sexual assault happens to fans. I think these should include things like ID scanners operated by individuals not employed by the band. No one under the age of 21 (unless they are direct family, significant other or a member of the band) be allowed on the buses. Venues need to do better ID-ing every single person that enters the venue. Tour managers and tour organizers need to do more to ensure that there are strict rules enforced as far as conduct. There needs to be a zero tolerance policy for giving alcohol/drugs to people underage and sexual misconduct. That will not prevent everything but it will make it safer and hopefully start to change the culture. 

I do not believe that every single musician is a pedophile. I think there is a disturbing number of them and I think there is another group that gets off on the power dynamic of 16-18 year old girls who worship them and that ability to control. I think there are decent people who have failed to speak out and protect their fans due to fear of their job/reputation/etc and this should serve as a notice that that’s got to change. 

This conversation tends to be very female centric but men can also be sexually abused. That’s not okay either. Band members can be sexually harassed and abused as well. It’s not okay to grab at them on stage or yell obscene disgusting things. It’s not okay for your bandmates to pressure you into drugs, sex or drinking. I will also say that physical violence is not okay. Not towards fans and not towards fellow bandmates. There’s a lot of toxicity and it’s all gotta stop. 

I will leave it up to people to make their own choices as to who they want to support or not support, I won’t tell anyone what to think. I will say that I believe it is best for this discussion to change on my blog as far as answering asks assigning blame or innocence to certain people. I stand by my accusation that Ashley Purdy is not only a sexual predator but a predator in general. But going forward I will be very selective in my answering of or posting of this topic. 

I am more than willing to continue the conversation of the issues in the alt-rock scene at large. I would love to hear people’s ideas on what can be done or just your thoughts. But for my own legal protection and sanity I would prefer that it not become specific to certain people/bands. I am open to private discussions about that and you can send in asks for only me to read but know I think this is the best move going forward. Obviously, other topics are all open and you can comment about anything else but it’s just... been a lot these past few days. 

Obviously, if something new comes out or if future incidents occur (not necessarily concerning Black Veil/Ashley but any band/person/etc) there could be more specific discussions but while I might personally believe or think certain things if I don’t have physical evidence that I am free to share (without harming the source) I don’t think it’s fair for me to open up a free for all. 

I hope that is okay with everyone. After my test and things in my life are back to a more ‘normal’ state I have further things I would like to discuss and post in regards to making my blog a more positive environment while of course still having conversations about ‘hot button’ issues, and a place where people can have discussions/comments and still speaking out when shit is fucked up. But perhaps in a way that doesn’t make me appear so hateful, because that is not who I am as a person. 

That all being said, if you are at all struggling because of the discussions being had right now. Please reach out to someone. That could be a therapist, doctor, friend, family member, counselor, etc. If you are dealing with trauma please consider seeking counseling to help you process and deal with what happened. If you feel you have evidence of criminal activity I encourage you to make a police statement or at least document it the best you can. 

I will end with this. I turn 25 this year and the past year of my life I have grown up and matured more so than I have ever before. I have learned a few things that I would like people to at least give thought to...

Please are a contradiction. Every single person has something for which they hypocritical about. Anyone who tells you differently is lying. There is no pure person, there is no one who is free of mistakes there is no one perfectly pure and consistent in ideology. It’s okay to get new information and change your opinion. No one person can change the world and evil will always exist. You will drive yourself crazy trying to eliminate all the bad out there. At the end of the day all you can do is try and help more people than you hurt. 

There are very few black and white things in life and you can’t always classify people as purely good or purely bad. People can change and that can be for better or worse. People have free will but they are also the product of their environments. It is easy to point a finger and say YOU/THIS is responsible and destroying this will right the wrong. It doesn’t. I think cancel culture can do good but it can also be toxic. Not just for the people ‘cancelled’ but also for the people doing the canceling. 

Don’t over analyze any of this or try and read between the lines, just think about it. 

[sending-the-message]

The Proposition by JD-McGregor

My fate was already sealed before the curtains drew. Sickness had already set in.

Suspended lights turned and curled inwards. Center stage became fully illuminated. There, standing in the middle of his fellow first graders was Jeffrey. My Jeffrey. The son who had made me so proud when he first told me he landed the lead role in the school play.

No father was meant to feel ill at a time like this. Yet, for me, sitting in the rows of seats lined up on the gymnasium floor with the other parents, it felt inevitable.

Jeffrey took a couple steps forward. He stood alone, ahead of the other children. He began to recite the lines I had helped him rehearse just a few hours earlier.

At first, I heard his words clearly.

"In the beginning," he said. "There were only a few of us."

I mouthed the words along with him silently. With deliberate attention to detail, I tried to stay with every syllable. I tuned in. I didn't want to leave the makeshift auditorium.

"But times changed, and now we are many."

His words sounded further away. The voice had gotten deeper. I started to slip.

"From this day forward we will..."

The rehearsed words trailed off. The voice I then heard was no longer that of my son’s. It was the voice of the daytime news anchor broadcasting a breaking report. He spoke with the casual professionalism of a man with no personal connection to the heartache his words would create. The buzzing static of an old TV was in the background.

It was a recording I could never forget. I had only played it over in my mind a thousand times before.

Tragedy strikes close to home today. The body of eighteen-year-old Westmount resident, Amy Bray was found in a dumpster behind a bakery near the downtown core. The body shows signs of severe sexual assault and trauma around the neck. All evidence suggests she was strangled to death with a rope.

An anonymous tip was given to police this morning stating that screaming could be heard from the parking lot and a bald man could be seen running from the area shortly after. Police were on the scene within minutes and have since taken homeless man, Troy McAllen, into custody. Authorities are urging whoever called to step forward and provide more information.

The mug shot of his wrinkled face came in into view. That bald headed mother-fucker left his DNA sprinkled all over the crime scene. His eyes glared back at me, just like they did from the TV screen for the first time nearly twelve years prior.

I was no longer in the school gym watching my son’s play. I was somewhere else.

The routine of running through the same memory over and over against my will was not a new development. I had been trying to get over it with the support of family, friends and medical professionals for years.

But things weren't getting any better. They never got any better. Something needed to change. That much was obvious.

The bathroom floor was sticky. My dress pants clung to it as I tried to lift myself above the open toilet. As I knelt there dry-heaving, I dreaded two things.

First, the idea of having to wait alone in this school bathroom for the vomit (if there would be any) to come out.

Second, the fact that at some point in the evening, I would have to explain to my wife why I had gotten up from my seat. Why I embarrassed both of us as I ran out of the gymnasium with one hand on my mouth, the other on my stomach.

I gave up on the former after twenty-five uneventful minutes. But there was no way I was going to try and squeeze my way back to the empty seat in the gym. Instead, I succumbed to the temptation. With shaking fingers, I dialled my brother's number.

"Hello," Noah answered. His voice sounded tired. He knew my reason for calling.

"Noah," I said. "It's happening again. I'm leaning over the toilet seat in Jeffrey's school bathroom right now. It's bad, it's real bad. Don't think I can get up."

The sigh was long on the other end of the line. I clenched my teeth and stretched across the closed toilet lid.

Perhaps even my brother, the one person I felt I could trust above anyone else, had grown weary of dealing with me.

I couldn't bring myself to blame him, though. On our last phone call, I took the gamble and crossed the line. I mentioned the proposition. Surely, I sounded delusional. And perhaps, I was delusional.

After what I’m sure was much deliberation, Noah spoke again.

"Roger, remember what the doctor said. Relapses are part of the healing process. You need to keep the pills with you. Always need em on you."

"But I've been taking them, and all the other pills I've tried for almost ten years now, Noah. Doesn't help, it never fucking helped. Can't make it go away. I think I'm going to try to-"

"Stop it!" Noah interjected. "I don't want to hear that proposition shit again. It's nonsense, and you know it’s nonsense."

I felt strong enough to lift myself off the bathroom floor. I stumbled out of the stall and used the nearest sink for support. I looked at myself in the mirror. The man who looked back didn't look crazy. At least, not to me.

"I'm not delusional," I said. "I was there. I was fully there both times. It was real. I remember what it said."

"Listen," Noah responded, his voice noticeably calmer. "There's no one I care about more than you, Roger. Fucking kills me getting these phone calls though. Amy died twelve years ago. It hurt everyone, not just you. Think about her parents, think about her two brothers. Think about everyone who knew her at school, think about everyone else at the party who also could have done something. Hell, even I get nightmares about it."

I dug the phone into my ear. Guilt over the amount of stress I was likely putting on Noah ran through me. He never married, and I was the closest family that he had. And this is what I was doing to him.

"I know it's hard," he continued. "But this isn't just about you, don't forget that. You have a family now, and they need their father. You can't keep disappearing into some twisted fantasy world of self-despair. Amy is dead, and you need to move on. And you will move on. That much I promise you. Please don't go down this road. Amy wasn't for you. It’s best you don’t think about her. There is only pain for you there."

Click.

Noah's voice stopped coming through the phone.

Later that night, the bedroom was completely dark. I hadn’t let my eyes close since going to bed. They were well adjusted. I relaxed my neck and let my head roll to the side. The clock read 2:44 AM.

It was almost time.

Chelsea was asleep. At least of that, I could be sure. Somehow, I had managed to avoid explaining my absence during the play. We didn't speak a word about it, or anything else after leaving the school.

The truth is, she likely knew full well the reason. She was aware of the mental sickness that had controlled my mind for all the years of our marriage.

It wasn't fair. All this time, she was stuck between being the supporting wife of a sick man and living with the hurt that came with the knowledge that the source of his misery was longing for another woman. And it wasn't just any woman. She knew Amy well. They used to be best friends.

Chelsea had every right to be as upset as I was. More upset if anything. She was at the party that night as well. Her actions also indirectly led to the final outcome.

That night was just like the morning after the party, the first time Chelsea and I had shared a bed together. I had woken up and lay there beside her for some time as she slept. I remember mixed feelings towards how things had played out the night prior. I was already fantasizing that it would have been Amy who I had slept with instead.

I tried to take a mental photo of the scene. Separated by nearly twelve years, Chelsea and I lay together in bed before something terrible was about to happen. The first and last times were so similar in that way.

I rose and tiptoed towards the door.

Before I left the room, I momentarily considered looking back. I owed Chelsea that at least. Part of me genuinely loved her. She was the one who stayed up with me, running her hand through my hair on the countless, sleepless nights. She was the woman I made love to more than any other. She was the mother of my son.

But, the burden was too heavy. I listened for the click as the door closed behind me.

I wish I could have been as decisive as I passed Jeffrey's room. His door was open a crack, just as it always was. It made a long, high pitched creak as I nudged it forward.

Jeffrey was on his side, facing the wall on the far side of the room. His feet stretched outwards and rubbed together.

The sight of him made my knees buckle. I slid my hands upward on the door frame until they were straight above my shoulders.

For a long time, that room was where I would go to be alone. It was after Chelsea and I had bought that house, and before Jeffrey was born. I would often come to that room and stare out the window above his bed.

It was like a portal for me. When I looked outside, I could go back to the night where it all went wrong. Where I had blundered and not acted as I should have. I was too cowardly to pick up on the cues. I didn't take the girl I longed for. That decision was what had ultimately led me to where I was then.

I resisted the urge to go up and rub his shoulder one last time. The view from where I stood would have to suffice. I wish I had the courage to say the three words I held in my heart.

For the rest of the journey through the house, my mind alternated between trying to keep quiet and considering the possibility of turning back. There was still time to turn around. I could easily return to the bed where my wife slept and simply pretend the whole thing never happened. And maybe, I could work it all out. I could live happily ever after with the family I built.

But if I really wanted to go back to bed, I would have.

Atop the flight of old wooden stairs leading to the basement, I paused. I looked down at the black pit below. No amount of adjusting to the darkness would allow my eyes to make out the shapes down there. I flicked the light switch. The single bulb hanging from the ceiling flickered before lighting the room up.

The grey concrete floor of the unfinished cellar was covered by a single yellow rug in the middle. Surrounding the rug was a collection of old furniture, sports equipment, partially opened boxes and of course - the mirror.

My breaths were short. Grinding my teeth, I took the first step down and nearly jumped when the old wooden board groaned. I had to force my legs to descend each of the next steps. With each one, the creak of the old staircase seemed to grow louder.

I reached the bottom and dead silence returned. I looked in every cranny, every shadow that was within my line of sight. There was nothing there.

My eyes told me that I was alone. And by all means, they should have been correct. However, it wasn’t the truth. And I knew that before I had made the decision to go down there in the first place.

My phone read 2:58 AM. Only two minutes remained.

I allowed myself a few more moments of illuminated silence before I reached for the light switch. When the basement was dark again, I felt my way to the yellow carpet and positioned myself squarely in front of the mirror. My body trembled profusely.

I raced through the possibilities again, trying to reassure myself. As if through my endless hours of deliberation, I did understand everything. As if it were possible for a man to think through the infinite numbers of factors, responses, and outcomes and have some idea of how things were going to play out.

The arrival was imminent. Before it came, I remembered Noah’s last words on the phone.

"There’s only pain for you there."

The reflection in the mirror changed. Breaking through the blackness was one white spot just above my shoulder.

I turned to look at where it appeared to be in the reflection. But there was only blackness. This was no surprise, I had tested it before. But back in the mirror, the reflection developed.

There were now two spots and another line running below them. The face was there, clearly. It radiated a bright white that hurt the eyes if looked at directly for too long. The outlines of the facial features pulsed. Their exact shape was always changing. The corners of the mouth pulled upwards into a shape resembling a smile.

The breaths came. I could feel the moist air on the nape of my neck. And then, it spoke. Its deep voice seemed to come from every direction in the darkness around me.

"Back again I see? I take this means that you've been intrigued by my proposition?"

I didn't answer. I hated hearing the thing talk. It knew me too well. It spoke with complete understanding of my reason for being in the basement that night.

"Shall we get started then?" it asked. "You know this is the last time I will come here. You must act tonight, or forever lose the opportunity."

"Lay the rules out for me one last time," I said.

I already knew the stipulations. But, I took comfort in hearing them again, as if I would have some brilliant flash of insight that would help me understand everything.

"One chance to go back. You cannot return here, and you cannot go backwards again. All outcomes are final."

"Tell me how it turned out for the others. What happened to the other people you’ve done this with?"

"You must decide now, Roger," it answered me abruptly. "I have no more patience for your concerns. I care only for your decision now."

My knuckles ached from gripping them so tightly. The eyes and mouth in the reflection slowly started to fade.

"Do it," I said. "Take me back."

The thing did as I commanded.

At first, it was all a blur. The darkness was gone, replaced by a range of opaque waves. They ran against each other, colours of all kinds shot out behind them. I heard the muffled sounds of conversation. My body felt lighter, newer.

One thing came through clearly. It was the audible voice of a young woman. I recognized it as Amy’s immediately. My vision started to clear shortly after. She was right there in front of me. She was eighteen years old, she was alive. Her image matched the one I had kept in my mind for all the years.

"Roger," Amy said. "Still working on the first beer?"

All my surroundings became clear. The faint outlines of the shapes around me sharpened. I could see the familiar glass chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Recognizable, young faces were leaning on my parents grey, leather couch in the living room.

Condensation from the beer can dripped onto my fingers. I looked down at my hands and saw that they were young. A visual scan of my body revealed the same. I looked eighteen again. I was eighteen again.

Amy put her hand over mine. I felt the comforting softness I had fantasized about for what had felt like an eternity. She pulled the beer from my hands, bringing it to her lips.

Everything was in perfect order. I was back at the party. The thing had done exactly as it said it would.

Amy finished the beer and set it on the table. All the while, her eyes were firmly fixed on mine.

"Looks like you have some catching up do," she said.

As I anticipated, she took a step forward. She slid her hand in a straight vertical line from my chest to my stomach. As she let it rest there, I tested my recollection.

Next, she will grab me by the collar.

Sure enough, her hands slid upwards towards my neck and grabbed the shirt. I said her next words along with her inside my head.

"Why don't you grab us another?" she asked.

The first time through, I hesitated before speaking. That I remember clearly. My unconfident former-self would wait at least five seconds before spitting out the word “okay”.

Not this time.

Blessed with the wisdom of seeing everything in hindsight, I spoke a new set of words. I said what I had been planning to say when all of this was a dream. A time when the situation I found myself in was nothing more than a distant fantasy, impossible to realize in the reality I thought I existed in.

"Maybe I'll do that," I said. "But I'll have to stop in my bedroom on the way back. Might be a little delay. Hope that's okay with you."

If they hadn’t already, the two timelines officially diverged after that. I hoped that would make it easier to let go of the old life I had abandoned. Nobody would get hurt tonight. It was just a matter of execution.

I smiled and pulled Amy's hand from my collar onto hers. I released, looking at her one more time before leaving the room. I wished that moment could have lasted forever.

Noah stood near the fridge, just as I remembered. He talked with some girls I hadn’t cared to remember. I grabbed him by the shoulder and yanked him aside. My entrance caught him off guard.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Noah, I need your help," I said, reciting more lines from the mental-script in my head. "Remember how I told you about the Amy girl from my grade? I think I got her."

He bit his lower lip.

"I don't know little bro," he said. "I think you have the Chelsea girl all lined up. Don't try and bite off more than you can chew now."

"Yeah, but I've been secretly in love with Amy girl for like four years. You should see her, she's the hottest girl in my grade."

"I know,” he said, much to my surprise.

"You know who she is?"

"Yeah, I think I've seen her a few times."

"Then why are you trying to talk me out of it?"

"I just think you're being over-confident," he said. "You've known for days that you have this Chelsea lined up. Take the sure thing, don't fuck it up."

The conversation was already taking too long. I saw both Amy and the younger version of my former wife, Chelsea come into the front hall. They stopped there and started talking privately. Amy's eyes cheated over in my direction. Chelsea was listening to her, nodding. She also peeked over. Her eyes were jealous. It was a look that I knew too well.

In approximately two minutes, Amy was going to head down the other hall toward the bathroom. Or, as I was almost positive now, my bedroom.

The first time through, I had been so unsure where exactly she had gone. Or perhaps more accurately, I was uncertain of myself. Instead of following her, I took the easy way out. I settled for the sure thing. I approached Chelsea instead. All because I didn’t believe that what I wanted could possibly be attained.

That’s how it happened. That’s the way I fucked everything up.

Not this time.

I stared hard at Noah. His help was instrumental for this to work. My words were firmer than before.

"Listen, Noah. I'm going for this Amy girl. If it doesn't work, then fine, you can have her. I don’t give a damn."

He shook his head.

"I need you to do one thing for me," I continued. "If you don't see me for a little while, trust that means things went well. But please, please just do me one favour. Walk Chelsea home if that happens. Bang her if you want, I don't care. I’m sure you could probably get her if you wanted."

"I'm not taking any girl to bed tonight."

"Fine, then just walk her home. I need you to do that for me."

Noah looked like he was searching for his rebuttal. I didn't stick around for any further deliberation. That part of the sequence was complete.

Right on cue, Amy had left Chelsea standing alone and disappeared down the hallway. I grabbed two beers from the fridge and started in her direction.

I always imagined that the walk past Chelsea would have been the hardest part. I tried to make it easier on myself. I kept my eyes on the ground, the door, the ceiling or anywhere that wasn't her.

Only from my peripheral vision could I see the look on her face. I recognized that expression as well. More so, I detested it. It was the insecure, desperate longing that I had seen so many times before in our life together that no longer existed.

A few feet away, I caught the scent of Chelsea’s perfume. One more time, the thought of returning to my former life burrowed into my mind. I entertained the idea. Maybe I could still correct the sequence. Maybe I could somehow say and do the right things to converge the timelines. Perhaps I could recreate all the memories that we were supposed to make going forward.

I pushed the thought out of my head as quickly as I could. I passed Chelsea without giving her a glance. As I walked down the adjacent hallway, the burning sensation of her eyes into the back of my head eased with every step.

I didn’t bother checking the bathroom on the way to my destination.

I pushed the bedroom door open. A slender female figure was sprawled across my bed. The light from the hallway provided just enough brightness for me to see that Amy was smiling. It felt like a dream. But it wasn't. It was real.

I didn't offer her a drink. I set the beers down on the night table and leaned over. She wrapped her hands around the back of my neck and pulled me down to her. Our lips met and I slipped away. I never thought that doing something that seemed so evil on the surface could have ever felt so right.

Hours passed. When the sex finally ended, Amy didn't take long to fall asleep. The adrenaline still coursing through my veins wouldn't allow me to do the same.

From outside the bedroom door, I could hear the party had grown quieter.

Much like the last time I was awake in bed while the woman beside me slept, I got out of bed as gently as possible. I tiptoed towards the door and pressed my ear against it. I tried to see if I could hear Chelsea's voice in the remaining bits of conversation. It wasn't there.

I went over to the window to see if anyone was hanging around in my front yard. I was relieved to see two people there. Chelsea stood at the end of the driveway, shivering in the cold autumn air. Noah was coming up the driveway with a sweater to put around her.

They exchanged a few words before heading down the street in the other direction. Her house was only a few blocks away. Nowhere near downtown and certainly not close to wherever that piece-of-shit, Troy McAllen camped out that night.

As they rounded the corner and went out of sight, a thought occurred to me for the first time. And it scared me.

I wondered what it would be like going forward. Would I have to live the rest of my life with all the vivid memories of a timeline that no longer existed? I could still remember my old life with complete clarity.

As I returned to lie beside the girl I loved, I prayed. I prayed that with time, the old memories would fade away. Hopefully, I could seamlessly adjust and settle into this new life as a young man once more. The thought hung around until I fell asleep.

A strange sound woke me the next morning. The sun was starting to rise and faint beams of light were coming in through the window. When I came to my senses, I realized that I was alone in bed. It was not how I was expecting to wake.

I heard the sound of the TV from the living room. Shortly after, I heard Amy whimper. I shot up and ran in there as quickly as my tired legs would take me.

Amy sat hunched over, curled into a ball on the couch. Her head was pressed into her palms, her cheeks red.

She had the TV on. It was set to our local news station. Before I had a chance to ask what had happened, I heard the familiar voice. With only slight variation from before, he delivered his report.

Tragedy strikes close to home today. The body of eighteen-year-old Westmount resident, Chelsea Arcobello was found in a dumpster behind a bakery near the downtown core. The body shows signs of severe sexual assault and trauma around the neck. All evidence suggests she was strangled to death with a rope.

An anonymous tip was given to police this morning stating that screaming could be heard from the parking lot and a bald man could be seen running from the area shortly after. Police were on the scene within minutes and have since taken homeless man, Troy McAllen, into custody. Authorities are urging whoever called to step forward and provide more information.

The bald man's face came up onto the screen just as I heard the front door push open behind me.

Noah stepped in. His mouth was open wide as he took in long gasps of air. Clumps of hair stuck to his forehead where his sweat had dried. He looked up at us in horror. As if he thought it was impossible for us to be awake so early in the morning.

Blood dripped from the scratches on his face. From inside his half-unzipped jacket, I could see a piece of rope stained completely red.

"What's the matter, Roger?" he said.

"Where were you last night," I managed to spit out. "Didn't you walk Chelsea home and come back?"

"She’s gone, Roger. Chelsea wasn’t for you. It's best you don't think about her. There's only pain for you there."

J.D.