#whereas honesty is something that should be valued. especially in cases where the truth is so stigmatized.

[shdwtouch]

not me openly admitting that shade lowkey takes after me. this was not intentional, I swear. uwu; she kinda just... ended up with an extra dose of who I am as a person, whereas most of my original characters receive much less.

I realized this when considering that shade is most likely homo leaning. and I was like, haha she's just like me ! an enby ace lesbian... and then the similarities just kept getting drawn. idk maybe I'm just overly tired.

also like. not gonna apologize ? she really isn't a self-insert. but its also like... creators are allowed to put themselves into what they make ! and I'm proud of shade, I really am. so I won't be made ashamed for traits we might share.

[prueshacklebolt]

❝ i was born just a girl ; not a warrior. i was not meant for bloodstained hands.  ❞ ALISHA BOE? No, that’s actually PRUDENCE “PRUE” SHACKLEBOLT. A SEVENTH YEAR student, this RAVENCLAW student is sided with MCGONAGALL’S ARMY. SHE/THEY identifies as GENDERFLUID and is a HALF-BLOOD who is known to be ARGUMENTATIVE, IMPRACTICAL, and FORGETFUL but also PERSPICACIOUS, KIND, and GENUINE. { SAM, 24, EST, THEY/THEM }

You can find Prue’s stats page right here, her pinterest board can be found right here, and her connections’ page is here.

TWs: Parental death, death, food & medication.

Prue’s mother is a muggle, and though she knows about the wixen world, she has never gotten all that involved, liking how she and her husband had different universes and yet loved each other and their child more than anything else in the world. However, that has changed ever since Kingsley’s death. Now, she’s not comfortable letting her only child go into that world, and literally begged Prue not to go back to Hogwarts. Not after she had lost the love of her life to that world. Problem was, Prue wanted to avenge her father, and she couldn’t do that by hiding in the muggle world. Now, her mother lives with Prue’s godmother, and their old townhouse close to the Ministry lays abandoned, with all its memories stripped away and put in boxes that follow Prue’s mother wherever she goes.

Prue’s always been a child that her parents could brag about to other adults, something that both Kingsley and her mother, Elizabeth, did quite often. She was intelligent, she never lied to them, and she always knew how to act in social situations without causing a scene or seeming boring. Sure, she was argumentative and always forgot her homework when she went to class, and she did have a lot of ideas that never panned out, but still. They were her parents and only saw the good sides of her. They were strict, yes, but Prue was never a child they had to discipline much after she started attending Hogwarts. In fact, they quite enjoyed her flaws. Kingsley loved how argumentative she got when it came to politics, as he loved discussing those things with his daughter, and Elizabeth liked Prue’s wild plans for everything, even if they never came to fruition.

Prue was close to both her parents, and loved them equally, but she had always admired her father for everything he was and everything he did. Therefore, his death hit her hard. She knew that the reason why he had been targeted was the reason why she had always admired him so much, and it made her angrier than she had ever been. Having never been one to fight outside of verbal arguments in the past, Prue became somewhat ruthless. She no longer backed out of a physical fight or a wizarding duel, and wasn’t even hesitant to begin them when it came to her father or things they had both believed in, like the little idea that everyone deserved equal rights. It scared her mother, really, but Prue was mad at her mother too. Of course, she wasn’t violent towards her and still loved her and felt bad for her, but she resented her mother for being so afraid. For retreating in the muggle world and wanting her daughter to do the same. Prue wanted to fight. She wanted to do something that counted, something that her dad would be proud of. And so, she fought. In all the ways she could possibly fight.

She never even tried to become a leader for the M.A. because she wanted a bit more freedom when it came to what she could do to fight the Death Eaters, and she felt like, as a leader, she’d have to lead by example, which she wasn’t sure she could actually do. She wouldn’t want other students throwing themselves into the fray like she was doing, as she still remained quite thoughtful of others. She didn’t want other students to start neglecting their classes like she did, just because she was too angry to focus on what ingredients you needed to mix together to make someone sleepy. The only classes she found useful anymore were Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, and therefore, they were the only two she put a real effort in.

Prue had always dreamed of becoming an auror, of following in her father’s footsteps, but she wasn’t sure that was what she should do anymore. Sure, he had accomplished a lot, but he was also gone. He was gone, and he wasn’t coming back, and he’d never get to be proud of Prue again. Never again would he brag about her accomplishments to his colleagues, or argue with her about the differences between muggle and wixen politics in Britain, and how they intertwined together.

I guess I should talk a bit more about the way Prue was before this all happened, though, so here we go. Prue was always a friendly person. She had a really bad “resting bitch face”, which she had been told intimidated other people, but she was really kind and open-minded, and people ended up getting used to the fact that, if she wasn’t talking to anyone, she often looked like she didn’t want to talk, which often wasn’t the case.

She was also very good at understanding how things and people worked. She noticed the little details of things, and put them all together to figure out just how someone thought and how it affected the way they acted, as well as the way objects and spells worked. She loved taking muggle objects and taking them down to figure out just exactly how they worked, and she was fascinated by the way muggle technology and magic interacted, and if there were ways to mix the two together in a useful way, somewhat. She was especially curious as to how to maybe replace internet or electricity with ambient magic, and it was her life goal to figure out how to connect the two worlds through technology. It was a grand plan, maybe not a realistic one, but Prue had never exactly been known for being practical.

She was also a very honest and genuine person, though since she was well aware of how people worked, she had a good understanding of when it was time to be honest, and when it was time to be quiet. Thing was, she rarely ever lied, but she also didn’t tell the truth when it wasn’t needed, which was why her kindness and honesty mixed so well together.

She used to argue so much, like… She’d find the littlest reason to start an argument. To her, they were fun. To others, not always. It was one of the few times where her perspicacious side didn’t necessarily come in quickly enough, and sometimes it took her a bit too long to understand that she should have backed out, which she then always regretted. Still, she had very fixed ideas and values, and she felt like it was crucial to defend them, especially in turbulent times.

FOOD TW. Her favourite food is cereal. Specifically, Rice Krispies. Just, Rice Krispies with milk. That’s her food heaven. No added sugar, no fruits, no anything. Which might sound quite boring to most people, but it’s what she used to eat when she was feeling down as a kid, and it stuck with her. Apart from that, there’s nothing that she really dislikes. She loves some things more than others, but overall, there’s nothing that she won’t eat. She tries to eat less meat, though, because her mom once sent her an article about how muggle meat production is harming the environment, and so she tries to be careful with that, even though she loves it. Really, she’ll try anything at least once, no matter how gross others might think it is, which she has come to regret a few times, but mostly left her feeling satisfied and proud of herself for at least trying.

MEDICATION TW. Has ADHD! Her mother got her diagnosed at a muggle doctor two years ago, and since then, she’s been taking medication for it, which doesn’t react badly against magic, and which helps her concentrate and remember.

I think that, really, Mina and Prue are very different from each other, no matter how similar the things they both went through were. Whereas Mina reacted to her sister’s death by ignoring it, by throwing herself into pleasure and fighting and instincts rather than thoughts and feelings, Prue reacted to her father’s death by acting upon it, throwing herself into what needed to be done to get vengeance. Instead of fighting to forget, she’s fighting to remember. She wants to avenge her dad, to make him proud, wherever he is, and to do that, she has to to strong and consistent. She hurts just as much as Mina does, but she handles it in a very different way. Which I felt the need to specify because I realized that they might seem really similar, but to me, they’re very, very different from each other.

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 25

The apocalypse? In your lifetime? (It’s more common than you might think! Click here to find out why)

Er. I mean. I return, featuring Sheriam and Egwene.

Chapter 25: In Darkness

That title, the Black Ajah chapter icon, and the first word is ‘Sheriam’. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Things were going quite well for once.

Uh huh. Sure. You really should know better than to say things like that. Or even think them. Especially when you’re a secondary-at-best character in epic fantasy and have very probably sold your soul. There’s tempting fate, and then there’s flinging yourself off a thousand-foot cliff in the form of a goldfish.

Confirmation, in case any was needed, that Halima/Aran’gar was the one from that brief scene of Sheriam being punished.

Well, so long as Egwene was away, that tent was functionally Sheriam’s for all but sleeping. After all, an Amyrlin’s Keeper was expected to look after her affairs.

Sheriam smiled again.

If she had a moustache, she’d be twirling it right now.

Pain would come again. There was always agony and punishment involved in the service she gave.

Not sure I’d put that on the recruitment posters – I’m still partial to ‘Immorality for Immortality’ myself – but points for honesty.

But she had learned to take the times of peace and cherish them.

Oh, the irony. Swear yourself to a force of chaos and destruction and only then learn the value of peace. That is bitter.

At times, she wished she’d kept her mouth closed, not asked questions. But she had, and here she was.

Now who does that sound like? Hmmm…

And, separately, I want a story sometime where asking questions isn’t punished. Not that it doesn’t make for good stories when they are – seeking out truth need not necessarily be painless, and it’s certainly not unrealistic to have negative consequences of digging too far, or asking the wrong questions of the wrong people – but it also seems to be one of those story elements that so often goes unquestioned (if you’ll pardon the slight pun). As someone who comes from a scientific background, where the entire purpose is to ask questions of the world and see any answer at all as a reward, I’d like to see someone at some point take a different angle on this trope. Mostly just because I think it’d be interesting, and as a reader I’d be curious to see how that kind of premise would work, and what would result from it. One for the wishlist…

Not infrequently she wished she’d chosen the Brown

NOW WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE? HMMM.

and hidden herself away in a library somewhere, never to see others.

I mean sure, that’s one way of being Brown, but.

There was no use wondering about what could have happened.

NOW. WHO. DOES. THAT. SOUND. LIKE?

She wasn’t so naïve as to feel guilty about the things she’d done. Every sister in the White Tower tried to get ahead; that’s what life was about! There wasn’t an Aes Sedai who wouldn’t stab her sisters in the back if she thought it would give her advantage. Sheriam’s friends were just a little more…practiced at it.

Hey, I’m not judging; as a Slytherin I can appreciate some honest, pragmatic, amoral ambition.

But why had the end of days had to come now of all times?

But I am laughing. If you’re going to sell your soul, you’d better read the fine print and make absolutely sure the deal is worth it, even when the price is called in in full. Sheriam seems to be more of a realist than some, but not quite realistic enough. Area Woman Never Expected To Actually Pay Her Mortgage.

And there’s the actual confirmation of Black Ajah. So…what does it say about the Aes Sedai that at one point, both women claiming the title of Keeper were Black Ajah?

It’s ‘blood and ashes’ or ‘blood and bloody ashes’ never has it been just ‘bloody ashes’ yes this is a nitpick no I shouldn’t care yes I care anyway because of Who I Am As A Person.

Sheriam opened her eyes to find a jet-black figure standing above her cot; slivers of moonlight passing through the fluttering tent flaps were just enough to outline the figure’s form. It was clothed in an unnatural darkness, ribbons of black cloth fluttering behind it, the face obscured by a deep blackness.

#aesthetic but why do I get the sudden feeling we’re in a 2006 music video?

Also, Halima had never come in such a…dramatic way.

Embrace the emo, Sheriam. Just go with it. Don’t question. Only ‘90s children will understand, etc.

(I feel like I should be posting this on myspace or something. How did we end up here? I have no idea and I’m so sorry).

“Egwene al’Vere. She must be deposed.”

Good fucking luck. That girl has as much ambition as all of you and she serves a Righteous Cause. You may as well just give up now. Accept it. Write a song about it and move on.

(Look I don’t even know. It’s been a while, okay?)

“It was by orders from one of the Chosen that I helped raise her as Amyrlin in the first place!”

“Yes, but we’ve done a companywide reorg and sometimes that just means reversing every single thing anyone has accomplished in the last six months; also she doesn’t work here anymore so I’m your boss now.”

“Yes, but she has proven to have been a…poor choice.”

That’s one way of putting it. It’s almost too bad you didn’t try to recruit her; that would have been hilarious.

Sheriam hesitated. Her first instinct was to lie or hedge—this seemed like information she could hold over the figure. But lying to one of the Chosen? A poor choice.

(Somewhere in a distant universe, Marisa Coulter is laughing at you).

But that’s the value of having legend and 3000 years on your side; The Forsaken may be only human but so much has been built up around their names and image that most don’t even dare to challenge them. Useful, that.

Stealing the ter’angreal could be a nuisance for Egwene, though. Not an insurmountable one, because this is Egwene al’Vere we’re talking about, but more and more things are drawing to a point where it all has to come to a head soon. Egwene imprisoned having forced Elaida’s hand, the sisters in the Tower just starting to listen to her, the rebels growing less and less certain of Egwene’s return, some beginning to talk about moving someone else into her tent, Lelaine setting herself up to be the next Amyrlin, and now Sheriam about to try preventing the dream-meetings. Something has to happen and soon to break the deadlock and prevent a slide back into inertia.

Oh, speak of the Amyrlin and she doth appear. Hi Egwene.

Her two days of imprisonment had not been pleasant, but she would suffer them with dignity. Even if they locked her away in a tiny room with a door that wouldn’t let in light. Even if they refused to let her change from the bloodied novice dress. Even if they beat her each day for how she had treated Elaida.

Because that worked out so well for you last time, Elaida. Anyway, at least now I know who to call next time I need to move house; Elaida’s very good at boxing things up.

Of course, as with everything else about the theme-and-variation of the parallels between Rand and Egwene, this is presented in an entirely different tone and through a very different lens than Rand’s imprisonment. I know I talk about this a lot but it’s because playing with the possibilities narrative symmetry offers is one of my favourite things, and this is such a well-done example over such a long stretch of series now; give two different characters situations or arc elements or paths that on the very surface are similar, and use these to highlight all the variations. It’s like controlling your variables; you can take two similar characters and throw them at entirely different problems, or you can take similar problems and throw them at two very different characters. You can also just write two completely different stories without the thread of similarity but this way feels so much more satisfying. It gives a unifying theme or undercurrent to two characters who spend almost the entire series thus far diverging. Same yet opposite; allies yet adversaries; Dragon and Amyrlin, saidin and saidar, Rand and Egwene.

Egwene was surprised she had visitors, but Seaine wasn’t the only one who had come to her. Several had been Sitters. Curious.

The tipping point approacheth. And so her imprisonment carries with it the note of rising, of moving towards something victorious, whereas Rand’s carried little more than a sense of spiralling impending disaster. A victory in the end, sort of, but.

Egwene may find it surprising that Sitters are visiting her, but she’s also no doubt been more effective in fighting her war than she perhaps thought. Also, rumours have a tendency to spike curiosity when something this dramatic happens; the Amyrlin losing her shit and lashing out at a novice who then stands there calm and bleeding and lectures her, and then is locked away out of sight? It’s as if Elaida wanted to draw everyone’s attention to Egwene. (Or no, it’s like Elaida wanted to do exactly the opposite of that, because Elaida has a talent for accomplishing the opposite of what she wants. A Talent, even).

Seaine at least seems to be on Egwene’s side, and I doubt she’s the only one.

“Proving that accusation is difficult by Tower standards,” Seaine said. “And so I suspect that she will not try to prove it in trial—”

Couldn’t they use the Oath Rod in trials to verify claims like the one Elaida is trying to make – that she expelled Egwene from the Tower before beating her, for being a Darkfriend? Even if Elaida genuinely believed the Darkfriend accusation, she’d struggle to state the rest outright because that’s…not what happened. Also the other Sitters who were there could go under Oath (literally) and testify as to what happened. Seems like a pretty damn effective tool in a trial…

Also, if she’s not going to try to prove in trial something she’s using as a justification for her actions, what the hell is she going to do? Hello yes I would like to speak to the Aes Sedai’s legal adviser…

“partially because doing so would require her to let you speak for yourself, and I suspect that she’ll want to keep you hidden.”

How To Make A Martyr (in 8 Easy Steps) by Elaida do Avriny a’Roihan

“But if she can’t prove I’m a Darkfriend and she couldn’t stop this from going to trial…”

“It is not an offence worthy of deposing her,” Seaine said. “The maximum punishment is a formal censure from the Hall and penance for a month. She would retain the shawl.”

But would lose a great deal of credibility, Egwene thought.

That would require her having credibility to begin with…

But now I’m still stuck on the notion of the Oath Rod being involved in trials. Mostly because it seems like a perfect solution at first glance and then has the potential to be absolutely terrible depending on how those involved chose to use it, how skilled those questioning or testifying are at either bending the truth or forcing a desired narrative using nothing but true confessions put together into exactly the story they want told, thus forcing someone to condemn themselves with their own words…

Anyway.

I like Seaine still; she’s a Tower Aes Sedai, secluded and not particularly revolutionary, but she’s also very…honest, I suppose. She even seems to have a degree of humility, and deals more in facts and evidence than in ambition and denial.

Things are getting worse, the Pattern is still trying its hand at interior design by randomly moving rooms in the Tower and all things considered should probably not quit its day job.

“You have to bring these things up, Seaine,” Egwene said softly. “Keep reminding the sisters that the Dark One stirs and that the Last Battle approaches. Keep their attention on working together, not dividing.”

It’s not just Sheriam who is less than thrilled with the fact that this is happening during her lifetime. You see that sort of thing with evil characters fairly regularly—it’s the Faustian story, or variations thereof; characters who sell their soul or commit themselves to an evil cause because of the perks (power, immortality, a great healthcare package…) and don’t really expect it to be called due in quite the way it is—but I don’t think it applies solely to villains.

People who actually want to or are willing to be heroes, to give their life and maybe their death to a cause, to face the ultimate crisis point of something they’ve committed to, are rare. It’s one thing to commit yourself to something in peacetime, or to commit to something when it’s an abstract or low-level issue. It’s another thing to realise that the tipping point or catastrophe will come in your lifetime, or is happening right now. It’s why we tell stories about heroes; they’re extraordinary. It doesn’t mean ‘ordinary’ people are lazy or not really committed or cowardly; it just means we’re human. How many people, faced with Achilles’s choice (to die a hero and be remembered forever, or to live a long and peaceful life and die forgotten) would choose the ‘heroic’ path? Some, certainly. Most? Probably not.

We’re human; we’re not good at dealing with The Actual End Of The World, and we’re very good at denial when it comes to potential large-scale all-out disaster. A character can swear away their soul and never really expect that the Forces of Evil will actually call upon them to fight in the last battle, and a character can commit themselves to the cause of good or Light and never expect to actually have to stand in that final catastrophe. And I feel like if I take this much further I’m going to end up solidly in current events so I’ll just…stop there. The point is, this sense of ‘oh shit you mean this is actually happening now and I’m a part of it? I didn’t mean to sign up for this take it away’ doesn’t belong solely to villains.

So it’s a nice place to put this particular conversation, right after we see Sheriam thinking in explicit terms that she never really wanted to be a part of this, seems fitting and nicely balancing.

“You must work hard, Seaine,” Egwene said, rising as the Reds approached. “Do what I cannot. Ask the other sto do so as well.” […] “The Last Battle comes, Seaine. Remember.”

Also, Egwene is one of those people absolutely willing to be a hero in the ‘give your life to a cause’ sense. She was not chosen; she chose. And she continues to choose this path, even as it becomes difficult, even as it is painful, even as it seems too much. It’s why she’s such an effective rallying point; she has committed absolutely to the cause they are all sworn to, and she faces the impending apocalypse with determination and dignity and grace, and doesn’t try to turn away or deny it.  It makes her a source of inspiration to those who are more…human about facing this reality and their upcoming role in it. Which I supposes you could argue is part of what heroes are for.

(In case you can’t tell, another thing I’m generally fascinated by is the entire notion and spectrum and variants of Heroes and Villains and the ways in which they exist and interact with their stories and worlds).

Even if Elaida was punished, what would be done with Egwene? Elaida would try to have her executed. And she still hand grounds, as Egwene had—by the White Tower’s definition—impersonated the Amyrlin Seat.

I must stay firm, Egwene told herself in the darkness. I warmed this pot myself, and now I must boil in it, if that is what will protect the Tower. They knew she continued to resist. That was all she could give them.

And she will give them everything she can, willingly. She is not having to pay the dues on a debt she never thought would be called in; she is not being dragged into a fate she has no choice but to accept. That’s not her story. She is the one who faces what is coming with eyes open, even when it turns out to be bigger and more difficult and worse and more painful than she expected. She understands what might be…I hesitate to even say ‘asked of her’ because that’s the point, isn’t it; she looks at the situation and she simply asks this of herself, because that is the only way to win.

It is part of why I’m still relatively certain she will not survive this series. I don’t think Elaida will execute her, but I do think she will give her life for the world. Because she’s one of those who would not choose to die needlessly, but could do so willingly and thus powerfully.

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