#which I own actually!!! the whole album is full of bops btw

[coconutcows]

I don’t know if it’s been done but I desperately need an edit of the current Barbie Movie Meme template (this Barbie is) with the Danish Band Aqua saying “These Barbies were Sued by Mattel”

(I’d do it myself but I don’t have editing skills or software and my computer can’t access the internet. If it exists already please show me)

[lazywonderlvnd]

*hesitantly steps in the box* Umm.. soo.. I was listening to Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift again and that song (is awesome btw if you haven't listened to it already) just gives me such MAJOR drarry vibes .. like -

" And I screamed, 'for whatever it's worth I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?' He looks up grinning like a devil. "

Like if that's not drarry I'd chomp my pillows. So .. *twiddling thumbs* could you pls write something with that line as a prompt?? Pretty please 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️ maybe use the song as inspiration.. idk? Whatever you like. ALSO, don't forget I STILL LOVE YOU that ain't changing yet and you haven't seen the last of me! Imma tail after you for eternity and you better take that as the threat it is! *throws love at you* BYE!! ❤️❤️ *vaults outside the box*

my sweetest most loved angel!! thank u so much for this prompt based on a BOP i was obsessed w when the album first came out. it got sm longer than it was meant to be, so it can be found on ao3 as well!! i hope u like it ilysm ❤️❤️❤️❤️

warnings for minor drug use (weed) and implied suicide of a minor character (lucius, extremely vague reference but pls be aware!)

rating: e word count: ~5k

When Pansy asked him how it started, Draco discovered that he didn’t know what to tell her.

Technically, though, it had started at Ernie Macmillan’s party in the beginning of summer, with the cloying scent of Freesias and Freedom Roses (“Imported from the States,” Ernie told Draco pompously, when he asked) and all those string-lights dangling from the cedar pergola, perennial balls of fire inside their clear bubbles like tiny trapped suns. Cheap beer in plastic cups, Marlboro cigarettes, and some stupid Muggle game ... darts.

Technically.  

* * * 

“Get off me, Potter,” Draco says in a failed whisper. He’s laughing and drunk and fuzzy warm under a sprawling summer’s night sky that looks like black paint. Potter tastes like Guinness every time he kisses him, and his hands are surprisingly soft. In direct opposition to his own command he pulls Potter in by the face and glues their mouths back together ravenously. The alcohol makes him sloppy (he likes it, though — the sloppiness of it) and Potter’s skin is warm where Draco slides his hand under an ugly Muggle band T-shirt to touch. 

Around the corner, he can hear music coming from the patio where nearly every single one of their former classmates are gathered, drinking and laughing and getting along famously with a much-needed buffer of five years between them and their Hogwarts days.

Much-needed for himself and Potter as well. Apparently.

He sees him sometimes, at get-togethers like this or around the Ministry, once or twice at a dinner party thrown by a mutual friend. They’re always cordial. He hasn’t insulted Potter to his face in five years.

Except for tonight, when he couldn’t help himself loudly drawing attention to the similarities between Potter’s hair and one of the shrubs in the garden. But they’re kissing now round the side of the house and because of that he’s quite glad for his slip. And it’s their five-year reunion, so. What would it be without some bickering between the two of them?

Potter presses him into the bricks and snogs him breathless, only he keeps grinning and laughing and ruining everything just when Draco starts losing himself in it.

“Quit laughing,” he scolds him. “You’re the worst, Potter. No etiquette at all.”

“That’s rude,” Potter says. His breath wafts across Draco’s mouth. His eyes are excessively green behind their round frames, which have not changed since their school days. The scar is mostly hidden beneath his wild fringe, save for the very bottom where it slashes neatly through a dark eyebrow and touches his eyelid. “I can’t help it, I’m pissed good and proper.”

His hand moves to Draco’s hip and even through the thickness of the alcohol coating his brain like a muffler he feels that touch clear and ripe as daybreak.

“So  that’s  why you’ve decided to snog me rather than …” He waves a hand vaguely, in lieu of the proper witticism with which he might normally have trounced Potter. “You know. Beat me to a pulp.”

“I only did that one time,” Potter says, grinning. Grinning and moving his thumb in circles on Draco’s hip. “And it was because you were being a twat. And I didn’t beat you to a pulp. You’re so dramatic.”

“Semantics,” Draco says. “I had a bloody nose.”

“And you deserved it.”

“Now who’s being rude?”

Potter kisses him again.

Guinness and Freesias.

* * * 

“Macmillan’s party,” he told Pansy. “He kissed me.”

“So that’s where you disappeared to.” She looked smug. Her inch-long nails were sharpened to a point and painted a glossy black, and she drummed them against her cheek, the way a cat flicks its tail. “I’m surprised you kept it from me this whole time.”

“Well,” said Draco, lowering his gaze to his glass of wine and watching it flirt dangerously with the lip as he swirled it. His cheeks felt warm, but he wasn’t embarrassed. “We snuck around.”

Right, maybe a little embarrassed. Mostly conflicted.

“Oh?” For a single syllable the laughter underneath was remarkably transparent.

He looked up, eyebrows lifted. “Yes,” he said a little defensively. “For obvious reasons. At first it was just sex. A lot of it, so he usually came here. Apparently Granger and the Weasel are notorious for popping round his place unexpectedly.”

* * *

He feels opened up all over again every time Potter fucks into him, unhurried and so careful. His hand is hot on Draco’s thigh, both of them sticky with sweat and come. This has to be their third round at least, and Draco’s sluggish brain insists it might actually be four.

An open window lets in the late afternoon air, humid and drowsy and perfumed heavily with flowers (a la Macmillan, Draco planted Freesias and Freedom Roses outside his bedroom window and helped them along to full bloom with some careful magic). Potter’s hair is damp with sweat — from exertion and the relentless heat of July — and Draco slides his fingers into it, tangles them and pulls the way he’s learned Potter likes. If he’s honest, he’s harboured a very secret and  very  desperate yearning to touch Potter’s hair since he was quite young. He doesn’t know why.

Well, maybe he knows why.

Potter makes a quiet, whimpered noise that curls Draco’s toes. He speeds up his hips, closing in on his orgasm and putting his face in Draco’s neck even though it’s too fucking hot for it.

“Fuck,” Draco whines. He tries to lift his leg higher, wrap it around Potter’s waist to get that perfect angle, but they’re too slick with sweat and he lets out a frustrated noise when it falls back to the bed. “Potter,” he says helplessly, arching into each thrust and shaking with the effort. This third (fourth?) orgasm is building too slowly, sitting there hard and stubborn and heavy in his gut and refusing to be coaxed to completion. He’s dripping with the effort, muscles quivering. “Please — I need —”

But he seems to have figured it out for himself. He scoots forward, lifting Draco’s arse higher off the bed and bending him nearly in half. The angle helps him go deeper and he’s suddenly nudging Draco’s oversensitive prostate every time he fucks back in.

“Right there,” Draco gasps, tensing as this new angle lights a fire under his elusive orgasm. His cock is leaking but he doesn’t have the strength or energy to get a hand around it. Potter’s grunting with the effort of fucking him, sweat dripping down his temples and making his neck and torso gleam. “Right there, god, right there, please, I’m so close —”

Potter braces himself and redoubles his efforts, and it’s like he’s reached inside Draco and sunk his claws into that building storm in his belly because suddenly it’s ripped right out of him in a colossal wave of euphoria that approaches too much, cock spurting untouched between them  .  Potter keeps moving inside him while he rides it out, and at some point he feels the warm, wet explosion of Potter emptying in him, mumbling incoherent things that include Draco’s name.

They come down together too. Draco is clutching Potter’s arms and trying to catch his breath and Potter is trembling and clutching him back like an anchor in a veritable ocean of sensation. 

It’s like this every time. 

When Potter drops down onto the bed beside him Draco rolls over and kisses him, long and deep and satisfying, and Potter reciprocates with the kind of intensity that is completely unique to him as a person.

“That one was particularly good,” says Potter, and Draco laughs.

When he feels like moving, he knows that Potter will get up and go to Draco’s kitchen and make tea for both of them, and he won’t need to ask what Draco likes, because he remembered after the first time. They’ll drink it naked in bed as the sun sets on another endless summer day and transforms before their eyes into a humid and pungent summer night, in the midst of which they will fuck at least three more times, and Potter will keep smelling like sweat and bergamot and boy, and Draco will keep feeling starved for him.

And they won’t talk about it.

* * *

“And?” Pansy said.

“And what?”

“You said ‘at first,’” she pointed out, and arched a groomed eyebrow. “When did it turn into more than just sex?”

Draco tamped down on a smile, because that would have been more emotion than he cared to show at the moment. To Pansy or to himself.

He swirled his wine again and took a long sip, stalling. He wanted — needed, really — to talk this out with her, but he was becoming aware of an uncomfortable heaviness in his chest which was suggesting to him that he didn’t want to share everything. Not because he was embarrassed, but, well … it was private. It was between him and Harry.

“There was this one night he came over later than he was supposed to because of work,” Draco said. The memory stirred some emotion. He hadn’t thought of it in a while. “He had this bloody huge takeout bag of Thai food.”

 * * *

He sets it down on Draco’s desk, takes out a container, and after toeing off his shoes drops sideways onto Draco’s bed with it and uses chopsticks to shovel in a mouthful of noodles. Draco watches this in awe.

“Want some?” Harry asks once he’s swallowed (small blessings). There’s grease around his mouth. “There’s a million other things in the bag but you have to get it yourself. I’m dead tired.”

Draco thinks of asking what the hell is going on, because they’re supposed to be fucking by now, but something stops him. Harry really does look exhausted but quite content eating his Thai food on Draco’s bed, and he doesn’t have the heart to berate him for it or remind him that they’re fuck buddies, not friends, and that if he’d wanted to eat and lounge about perhaps he should’ve stayed at home.

And the food really does smell good.

He gets up and fishes another container out of the bag that turns out to be some sort of heavenly-smelling marinated beef, which he brings back to the bed. Harry’s rolled onto his back and has the container of noodles balanced on his stomach.

“They thought they found a Horcrux on a raid,” he says. His voice is perfectly casual, but Draco thinks he can see something troubled in his eyes. He has one foot crossed over the other and  it’s bouncing anxiously; he doesn’t think Harry’s aware of doing it. “Wasn’t. Obviously.” 

“But they needed your expert advice to be sure.”

“Yeah.” Harry looks at him, then his food. “Is that the beef?”

“Yes it is.”

“Good?”

“Haven’t tried it yet.”

He opens the container and chooses a piece, but instead of lifting it to his mouth he follows some crazy impulse and hovers it over Harry’s instead.

“Open, Scarhead,” he says. Harry blinks but does it, and Draco drops it in. He smiles, then chews.

“Brilliant.”

* * *

“We ate it instead of fucking. It was the first time I realised something had shifted.”

“And you let it shift?”

The question gave him pause. He didn’t answer right away, mulling it over. It made it sound as if he’d had a choice, and that wasn’t quite right.

“It already had,” he said finally. “It wasn’t a matter of letting it; by the time I noticed, it had already happened. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come over with the food.”

“But you did let it continue,” said Pansy. She wasn’t antagonising him, nor accusing him of anything. She looked amused, but not in a way that was at his expense. Pansy was both a twat and a fiercely good friend, the combination of which meant she would do nothing more or less than hold up a mirror and force you to look at yourself, gruesome as the experience inevitably wound up being. “Even after you realised he had feelings for you.”

Draco swallowed. He’d not heard it said aloud before now.

“Yes,” he said. “It felt good. Knowing he fancied me.”

* * *

Harry’s shameless in his staring.

He stands in the doorway of the ensuite bathroom and watches Draco like he’s been invited to do so. Draco pretends not to notice, stretched out in a tub full of bubbles facing the opposite way. There’s incense burning, and candles. Harry is completely silent, but Draco could feel those eyes on him from across a crowded hall.

They fucked a few hours ago and fell asleep afterwards. Draco pretended not to think about it, but had actually made the conscious decision to let Harry continue sleeping when he woke up and decided he wanted a bath.

When he can’t take it anymore he opens his eyes and tilts his head back and a little to the side, just enough that he gets Potter in his peripherals.

“Well?” he says. 

“Well what?”

“Join me, won’t you?”

Harry snorts. Then there’s a quiver of magic in the air, and a small, utilitarian chair appears out of thin air beside the tub. Harry sits down in it. He’s holding the joint they’d only gotten halfway through earlier. 

He’s in his jeans and nothing else, all limbs and sparse chest hair, and when he crosses a leg over the other one, elbow resting on his knee as he hits the joint, Draco feels a bone-deep attraction to him that’s beyond physical.

“May I?” Draco asks. Harry hands it over and Draco inhales deeply before returning it. The humidity of the room mixes with the smoke and the smell of marijuana, pungent and cloying like the flowers. 

After a length of silence, Draco says, “Will you read me something?”

“Will I what?”

He takes his wand from the floor and Summons a book from the shelf in his room — one of his poetry collections comes sweeping in through the cracked door and into Harry’s lap. Harry sticks the joint between his lips and starts rifling through it with his glasses all fogged up. 

When he starts reading Byron (“I had a dream, which was not all a dream”) Draco smiles and sinks deeper into the hot water and bubbles, letting Harry’s voice lull him into a pleasant stupor. 

 * * *

“So you led him on,” said Pansy. “Because you liked his attention.”

He stared at her, then let his gaze drop to his wine again. Had he?

“It sounds bad when you say it like that.”

“Well,” she said, smiling wryly, “I’m only saying it as you’ve told it to me. Maybe if it sounds bad, it is bad. Some things are that simple, darling. Unless there’s more to it.”

“Like what?” he said, not looking at her. There was a touch of pouty defiance in his voice he knew Pansy would detect instantly. He heard her sigh.

“What exactly happened yesterday, Draco? You didn’t give me any context.”

“What context do you need?” he muttered. “He told me he loved me.”

* * *

They’ve finished an entire bottle of wine between them. He’s not drunk, but he’s pleasantly buzzed. Harry’s sprawled on his back, T-shirt rucked up just below his navel so Draco can see the dark trail of hair leading below his jeans. There’s something implicitly erotic about the movement of his chest when he breathes, his hands folded behind his head, one leg stretched the length of the bed and the other bent at the knee.

He opens his eyes suddenly and grins when he sees Draco looking at him. 

“That wine just made me tired,” he says.

“So go to sleep,” says Draco. He takes a last swig, emptying it, and sets the bottle aside on his night table. He stretches his arms over his head and arches his back, yawning widely, thinking perhaps he’ll give into the tempting allure of sleep as well when Harry says, “I told Hermione about us.”

So he’s not sleeping, then. His stomach clenches hard and a completely irrational sense of panic rises in his throat.

“Us?” he says slowly, sitting up straighter. “What ‘us’?”

Harry looks at him upside-down, then rolls over and rises to his knees. He stares at Draco blankly.

“‘What us?’” he repeats.

“Yes,” says Draco. “What ‘us’?”

“Us,” Harry says. His voice is lower than usual. The word is starting to sound weird and lose meaning. “You and me, Draco.”

“‘You and me?’ Harry, there’s no you and me. We’re just fucking. What do you … what do you mean, you told Granger? Told her what?”

Harry looks … well, he looks fucking crushed. And angry. Draco forces himself not to look away.

“I told her I’d been seeing you,” he says quietly. There’s something … not threatening, but close to it, in his voice.

“Sure,” says Draco. “I see you three times a week, sometimes four. I s’pose if you feel the need to fill Granger in on everything you do with every second of your day —”

“Shut up, Draco,” Harry says. “You know what I meant.”

Draco glares at him. He gets off the bed, slightly lightheaded from the wine, horrified by the emotions welling up inside him right behind the panic, and he points at his bedroom door.

“Get out,” he says. 

“Are you serious?”

“Go!” he says loudly, voice rising. “If you’re gonna start turning this into something it definitely is not then get out of my flat, Potter.” As usual the window is open, but it’s the third of September and getting chilly finally and Draco’s Freesias and Freedom Roses started wilting last week. There’s a chilly breeze coming into that room that is utterly barren of the sweet smells of summer he associates with Harry these days. “It’s time we ended this anyway,” he says. “Summer’s over.”

“So?” From his position kneeling on Draco’s bed Harry shouldn’t feel imposing at all, but he does. There’s no sparkle of humour in his eyes, none of the softness Draco’s gotten used to seeing there. He looks like someone who’s realised they’ve been betrayed.

Worse than that. Someone who’s been betrayed and realises they should have seen it coming.

“What the fuck does summer have to do with anything?”

“Ever heard of a summer fling, Potter? We’re not ‘seeing each other’.”

Harry finally gets off the bed. Draco’s stomach clenches again, more painfully this time. He doesn’t feel bad, he tells himself — this is Harry’s fault. His fault for making a big deal out of something easy and fun and, most of all, temporary. For ruining this with feelings. 

 “That’s not what this was,” Harry says. It’s not an argumentative tone; rather, he sounds disappointed. Devastated, and disappointed. And that look of betrayal, like he’s surprised but not …  that  surprised.

That hurts. 

“This was as real as it gets, Draco,” he says matter-of-factly. “You and I don’t have the capability of doing anything as shallow as a fling.”

“Well, Potter,” says Draco, straining to maintain his level voice, “congratulations, because that is the most disgusting, romanticised, Gryffindorian piece of shit I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah?” He grabs up his wand from the bedside table and stuffs it into his jeans pocket. “Well here’s another: I love you. You complete fucking prick.”

Draco stares after him as he leaves the room, cowed for the moment. He hears Harry take the Floo powder off his mantle, hears the fire start, and then the sound of Potter disappearing. 

And he feels hollow suddenly.

* * *

“And he said it completely out of the blue?” 

Draco set his wine aside. He was suddenly feeling too sick to put anything else in his body.

“Sort of,” he said quietly, avoiding her eyes. “He was trying to make something out of nothing. He was just making a point, trying to guilt me, I don’t even think he meant it.”

Pansy said nothing for so long that Draco finally looked up. She had an eyebrow raised.

“Do you really believe that?” she said.

Draco didn’t answer right away. He glanced at the bottle of wine on the table and thought about the way it always tasted a little sweeter on Harry’s lips.

“I don’t know,” he said. “No. But it doesn’t change anything. It was a summer thing, not a … a relationship, for crying out loud. Like I’d date Potter.”

“Why not?”

Draco scoffed. “Why not? Pansy, please. He’s a …”

“A …?”

“He’s an idiot! He’s Potter!  He’s …” He couldn’t think of the right word, something bad enough to express the audacity, the gall , for Potter to think even for a second  that they could …

“Draco Malfoy,” said Pansy. She was smirking. “You love him too.”

Had he felt sick before?  Now he was going to be sick.

“I never would’ve imagined it,” she went on, seeming to take pleasure from his outrage and humiliation. The bint. “Look at you, you’re blushing! Oh my god,” she laughed. And then she stopped laughing, and instead the weight of her own words appeared to descend on her. “Oh my god. You do, don’t you? You are arse over tits for Harry Potter —”

He was up and out of his chair before she’d finished the last word, absurdly,  embarrassingly on the verge of tears all of a sudden. 

“Draco —”

“I’m glad this can serve as your entertainment for the week, Pansy,” he said. A tear rolled down his cheek — could he be any more histrionic? — and he brushed it away furiously. 

“Draco, no —”

“Call Blaise, tell him!” he shouted. “You two can have a good laugh over it —”

“Draco  —”

“Poor Draco’s  fucked himself over again, what a stupid wanker!” 

Pansy got up. He slapped her hand away when she reached for him, but she only came at him again and grabbed it this time when he swatted at her, enfolding it in both of hers. He closed his eyes and hiccoughed and two more tears came.

“Darling, will you please listen to me?” she said softly. It sounded eerily like his mother, which only made him feel young and childish. He tugged his arm away and she let him go, but he didn’t move any farther away. “I am  not  laughing at you,” she told him. “Blaise might, but that’s because Blaise has a black hole for a heart, Draco, the only emotion he’s ever felt is disdain.” Against his will, Draco chuckled wetly. Pansy smiled and took his hand again, tentatively. He allowed it. “ I think it’s lovely that you have feelings for him. I don’t understand what’s got you so upset, I mean … I know it’s Potter, but we’re not teenagers anymore, right? Who cares?”

Draco exhaled a long sigh.

“He let my father go to Azkaban,” he said softly, looking into her eyes. He saw comprehension dawning. “How can I be with someone who could’ve saved my father’s life and chose not to, Pansy?”

“No one could have saved your father, Draco,” said Pansy gravely. His throat was tight, swollen. He hated that he was hanging on her words, looking for truth in them,  wanting to hear something that would make this okay. “He would have done the same thing if they’d let him go back to the manor. It’s not your fault or your mum’s or Potter’s.”

“But —”

“But what?” she cut him off sharply. “Draco, please don’t let your father keep controlling your life from the grave! My god, you deserve happiness, don’t you see that? Even if it’s Potter! In fact, I … I think that could be really good.”

“What, being with Potter?”

“Yes, being with Potter,” she said. “Darling, I say this because I love you: you need to grow a pair of bollocks and start taking control of your own life. I’m not finished!” she added when he opened his mouth to retort. “I understand that it feels like a betrayal of your father, I do, and I’m not saying you can’t have your cherished memories of him, but Draco … you cannot live your life in his shadow, doing things because it’s what he’d want or wouldn’t want. I think that choosing to explore these feelings you have for Potter is the bravest and healthiest thing you could possibly do for yourself.”

He stared at her for a long moment, eyes wet though the tears had stopped falling. 

“What if it doesn’t last?” he said finally. “What if next week he realises it was a huge mistake?”

“First of all, I doubt that,” said Pansy with a roll of her eyes that was clearly meant to be teasing. “You said you’ve been seeing him all summer, that’s plenty of time to have gotten sick of you. And, even if that did happen, I still think it would be entirely worth that week of being disgustingly in love.”

“Do you?” he drawled.

“Yes! I do!” She picked up his discarded wine glass from before and held it up. “Does the effect of alcohol last forever?”

“No …”

“Of course not! And we don’t expect it to. We expect to have fun while we’re drunk and it’ll last as long as it lasts.”

“Dating someone isn’t like being drunk, Pansy,” Draco said sourly.

“Oh, that’s not the point ,” she huffed. “We don’t do things because we know they’ll last forever, we do them because we want to. In the moment.”

“Sounds irresponsible.”

“Well, of course it is,” she scoffed. “Love is completely irresponsible, that’s the fun of it, Draco. Now take this,” she shoved the glass of wine into his hand, almost spilling it. “Drink up, and then get your arse over to his flat and fix this.”

* * *

Granger opened the door. Draco sighed.

“Hello, Granger,” he said lamely. Her raised eyebrows said she was surprised and thoroughly unimpressed by his appearance.

“Malfoy,” she said.

“Is Potter in?”

“I guess that depends.”

“On?”

She looked at him, dark brown eyes impenetrable. Then she closed the front door behind her.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“To talk to him,” he said tightly. As if this whole thing wasn’t bad enough, now he had to pass a test to get past Granger the bridge troll. “I thought he told you —”

“He did,” she said flatly. “And about yesterday.”

“Well I’m here to apologise,” said Draco. Granger’s eyebrows lifted again. Still unimpressed. “And to tell him …” He sighed again and broke eye contact, willing himself not to give up, not to take this as a sign he should just go home and ream into Pansy for giving him such bad advice.

“Malfoy.” He looked up. Her voice was softer now, and her eyes seemed a little less hard. “What are you doing? You really hurt him, you know.”

“I know,” he said stiffly. “I said I’m here to apologise.”

“Well he doesn’t need an apology,” she said. “If you’re only going to let him down again —”

“I’m not.” He rubbed his forehead and looked at her again, exasperated, defeated. “I’ve … had some sense talked into me.”

She looked like it was the last thing she’d been expecting. 

“Have you?”

“Yes,” he said. “So would you please get him for me before I lose my nerve?”

It was the right thing to say. Her expression melted into something much softer and he fancied he even saw the beginnings of a smile.

“Can I ask who affected this change of heart?”

“Pansy,” he said. And, when Granger seemed taken aback, “She’s very wise when she feels like it.”

“I see. Well …” She still looked a bit conflicted, eyeing him and then putting her hand on the doorknob. “All right. I’ll tell him you’re here, anyway, but he was really hurt, Malfoy. I don’t know if he’ll want to hear it.”

“I’ll take my chances,” he said.

Granger eyed him another moment and then went back inside, shutting the door behind her. Draco only had to wait a minute before it was opening again, and this time Harry came out. The sight of him made Draco’s heart feel tender and sore.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi, Potter.”

He waited to see if Harry would say anything else but he didn’t. He only stared at Draco expectantly, arms folded, in all ways closed off.

“I came to apologise,” said Draco.

“Well you can keep it,” said Harry. “I don’t need an apology because you told me the truth.”

“It wasn’t the truth, Potter,” Draco said quietly. “Opposite, really.”

Harry was silent. Then, “You made me feel like shit, Draco.”

“I know. I’m sorry. You freaked me out, springing it on me like that.”

A beat, then two, and then suddenly Harry was dropping his arms and sighing and he looked at Draco with so much vulnerability he nearly had to turn away from it.

“I didn’t mean to tell you …” He licked his lips, scratched his arm. It reminded Draco that beneath everything, Harry was still the same awkward dorky leader-of-the-losers he’d always been, just with a bit more confidence now and the title of Official Saviour of the Wizarding World. “I wouldn’t have said that if … I was just angry.”

He didn’t need to ask what Harry was referring to.

“I know.”

“Not that I didn’t … I mean, I … I do —”

“Please don’t say it again,” Draco said. Harry laughed.

“Right. I just meant … I really do have feelings for you, Draco. Like … mad, crazy feelings, y’know? I don’t want it to be a fling.”

“It wasn’t a fling,” he said. He moved a little closer and Harry watched him carefully, eyes flickering once down to Draco’s mouth. “I didn’t even sleep with anyone else the whole time.”

“Well that’s good to know,” said Harry sardonically. But he was smiling, so Draco found himself smiling tentatively as well.

“I wanna be with you, Potter. Properly. I thought …” But he shakes his head, deciding that now isn’t the time to explain about his father. “I thought it was a stupid idea. Now I realise that it probably is, but that I don’t really care much. I’ve decided to ignore my better judgment this one time.”

“That’s quite Gryffindor of you,” Harry commented drily.

“Yes, well.”

“So I go against your better judgment, then?”

“Potter,” Draco sighed. “Please, I don’t mean it like —”

“I’m taking the piss, Draco,” Harry cut him off. He reached for Draco’s waist and pulled him close, and before Draco could get his breath back from a short, surprised intake of breath Harry’s mouth was on his, warm and familiar and soothing. He brought his hands to Harry’s face and kissed back without bothering to hide his overwhelming relief.

Harry chased his mouth when he pulled away and Draco breathed out a laugh, holding him at bay with a hand on his chest. 

“We have plenty of time,” he said. “D’you wanna come over later tonight, after your friends leave?”

“What? No, come in.” He took Draco’s hand and gestured with his head towards the door. “Please. It’s just Ron and Hermione. They know everything.”

“Really?” Draco drawled. “And you think Weasley won’t try to kill me?”

“I promise not to let him,” Harry grinned. “Please, Draco. You said you wanted to do this properly, right?”

He thought of what Pansy said about being irresponsible, and decided it was worth a try at least.

“Okay,” he said. Harry beamed and tugged him inside.

Towards his ultimate downfall or towards the beginning of the rest of his life, he didn’t know. That, as Pansy would have said, was the fun of it.

[sailor-freak]

Halestorm: The Strange Case Of... - Album Review

(image source)

As I have uploaded a ranking of this album to my YouTube channel I think it’s finally time for me to review it! This is my first time reviewing an album that’s not new haha also btw for anyone expecting poetic brilliance that’s not here it’s legit just me giving my opinions of the songs 😂. But this is my favourite Halestorm album (so far) and the only one I own (again, so far, I ordered self-titled with a gift card my uncle got me for my birthday haha) so why not review it 😂.

Love Bites (So Do I) - BOP. That’s it 😂. My full post on this song is linked in the song titles (as will all songs on here I’ve already posted about) but for an opener to the record man it’s SOLID. I love how it was inspired by their Slave to the Grind cover, and the tempo is so similar but it’s also really different sounding? Like, they didn’t just copy that song they took the tempo and made something of their own. Love it 😂.

Mz. Hyde - Ahh this song is so dark and creepy and HEAVY I love it 😂. The way it starts off so dark, then the verses are lighter as she sings about the nice side of herself, then the chorus gets dark again, ICONIC. I think I’ve also said this before but the “it’s me Lzzy I swear” is the most iconic line in Halestorm history and you can fight me on that. I also love the way it transitions SO neatly into the next banger...

I Miss The Misery - THIS TRANSITION KILLED ME ON FIRST LISTEN a lot of albums do neat transitions like this but I don’t think I’ve heard one more beautiful than this 😂. I think you should know by now this is not only my favourite Halestorm song but my favourite song just... ever? Like my post gives a proper discussion of the song (although it was one of my earlier posts so maybe I need to amend that lol) but this was the first Halestorm song I listened to, and I was HOOKED immediately. It’s so rock and roll but it has its own elements that just make it stand out, and no Halestorm song since has topped that. AND I’VE LISTENED TO A LOT OF HALESTORM 😂. So yeah, best song on the album, there you go.

Freak Like Me - Ahh my first post on here 😂. So I didn’t talk about the song like at all in this post so I best do that oops 😂. What I love about the song is the anthem quality it has, not just in the lyrics but musically the chorus really makes it stand out just among the freak community, possibly due to the guys’ backing vocals on the “freak like me” line itself, it just makes it a group effort and celebrates the unity of Halestorm and their fans. Another thing I LOVED was Lzzy’s scream before the riff, you know, the one that goes on for longer than the last note of So Much Better? The first time I heard that I was SHOOK, it just demonstrates Lzzy’s vocals so well 😂.

Beautiful With You - Oo, the start of the “ballad section” of the album. I think it’s pretty solid 😂. I’ll admit, when I first listened to this album I came looking for bops, so this section was kinda disappointing on first listen. Not because they were bad at all, I just was looking for songs similar to I Miss The Misery and Love Bites, so they sort of didn’t sit well with my brain? Too many ballads 😂. But having listened to the album and these songs more, and sort of understanding that this section is important to the record, I’ve grown to love them? And this one I did like on first listen, maybe it was the guitar but there was parts of the lyrics that really stood out to me, maybe not on a personal level but they were just nice, so I thought why not and I added it to my playlist 😂. I definitely prefer the heavier songs both on this album and in general usually, but this one has some really strong parts.

In Your Room - I think this was the first song I was really disappointed with on first listen? And it’s still not one of my favourites. The meaning behind this is really great, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong musically. I actually like the subtlety of the first chorus, it blends in nicely with the verses, then when the second one comes round it’s like a pleasant surprise 😂. I think it was the lyrics that bugged me, however, I don’t know if this is just my sadistic mind but I thought an interesting take on it would be a sort of creepy turn? Saying stuff like “I’m right outside your door” and stuff, if you take away the sentiment of the song it has the potential to be like a stalker song 😂. Maybe if it was on their first album it would have taken that direction? I just think that would have been interesting 😂.

Break In - (let’s just ignore the fact I’m buzzing about the studio version with Amy Lee that’s coming out this summer) This one I really have grown to love, again with stepping away from my need for heavy bangers I really appreciate this for what it is. There’s nothing complicated about it, it’s a simple piano ballad with some harmonies thrown in. I don’t think there’s been a song like this since? I mean, Dear Daughter was piano till the band came in, and Heart of Novocaine was acoustic guitar, but this being purely piano really makes it stand out, not just in this record but out of their discography. Idk, it’s simple, it’s heartfelt, I love it 😂.

Rock Show - Oooo... surprisingly this is my least favourite song off the album. I thought I’d love it, the concept and meaning behind it is amazing. I think it’s just something with me personally? Lyrically there’s not a lot to dislike, I love the descriptions of the experience at a rock gig as an audience member, it taps into that deeper feeling than just going to enjoy music, it is an experience on a higher level. However, because of the inspiration behind this song it uses “little girl” to address it... I don’t like that shit 😂. Idk if you know me but I hate being patronised, don’t call me little I’ll step on you 😂. So, I think this is a great song for that girl it was written for, but as an older person listening to this song it just doesn’t get to me.

Daughters of Darkness - Okay, this is where I feel addressed 😂. While Rock Show was dedicated to one young girl who enjoys rock gigs, this one is for ALL the ladies who love them. Similar to Freak Like Me it has an anthem feel to it, with the “na na na na na” bit (felt like I was quoting MCR there lol), but it’s like... specifically for the girls 😂. I think I mentioned this but I love the symphonic / orchestral additions to it? Reminds me of Nightwish (who are actually the only band I’ve seen live so far in my 19 years of existence), so that really adds a whole element of enjoyment for me personally. It’s one of the darker and heavier songs on the record (I mean the title does suggest that), and is one of my absolute favourites, was from the start. When I came to this album looking for bangers THIS ONE REALLY PROVIDED 😂.

You Call Me A Bitch Like It’s A Bad Thing - I relate to this one too much omg 😂. Lyrically, this is absolutely SCANDALOUS, but we love that and that’s the point of the song 😂. Little thing, I love the little chord progression in the intro and instrumentals of the song, just really cool idk what it adds I just love how it sounds 😂. Although I love that I think the lyrics is what makes me love this song, “see you next Tuesday” absolutely iconic 😂. I also love when she says “you call me a freak” and I’m like... WE ARE 😂. Just a little bit I noticed haha, but the concept of let’s sing the most outrageous shit and revel in being called a bitch is absolute class we love 😂.

American Boys - This one is also lower down on my list but it’s not bad at all 😂. It has a real classic rock and roll feel to it, and it is very American sounding which links nicely with the lyrics 😂. I think for most people this song wouldn’t really have a deeper meaning (idk if it does for you then let me know haha), but it’s more of just a casual celebration of the male species in the United States 😂. As I said in that post it does stand out in this album, as it’s not a strong anthem song, a deep personal ballad or embracing being sadistic and scandalous, but that sort of makes it stand out 😂.

Here’s To Us - Oh this song is so wholesome I love it 😂. Aside from this song probably being the only reason I can get through life at the moment (I legit listen to it whenever I get anxiety about anything, my parents, work, general shit I can’t deal with lol), the meaning behind this song is so simple yet so powerful? Just... celebrating Halestorm for who they are, what they’ve achieved, and embracing the bad times and recognising what they are capable of... you really have to know Halestorm to fully appreciate this song. When I first listened to it I had NO IDEA what it was about, I think I legit knew Lzzy’s name and that was it... so hearing this for the first time had no power behind it and I feel so bad, cos your first experience with this song should be the absolute power behind the meaning. Anyway when all the guys sing with Lzzy at the end my weave was snatched and it’s so adorable I love it this song just displays the absolute unit they are, and it really shows how unique of a band they are. Stan 😂.

Don’t Know How To Stop - Bonus tracks time! Honestly... this song is too perfect for the start of the bonus tracks I like... it’s iconic 😂. Since The Pretty Reckless’ Death by Rock and Roll came out today I’ve been listening to a lot of them and I see similarities lyrically between their stuff and this song, like the whole embracing going full force and going too far, like enjoying the rush of it? This song uses a lot of car and road imagery actually (imagery, oo, haven’t used that word since my exams), with “red lights” and “brakes are shot” (I should probably look in my booklet to see if that’s the correct lyric but I can’t be arsed so if it’s wrong soz), as if she’s saying living this extreme crazy rock and roll life is like a car speeding carelessly, and not having the brakes comes into not being able to stop this lifestyle? Idk there’s probably something else there but I’m not getting marked for this am I 😂.

Private Parts (ft. James Michael of Sixx:A.M.) - Okay... can I just start by saying this is a good song. It’s great 😂. Musically there’s nothing wrong with it, the chorus actually bops quite hard considering it’s a deeper song, so there’s nothing wrong there. Lyrically it’s good, I love how the verses are like the argument between these two people, but the first verse is almost like their thoughts aloud? Cos they’re not responding directly to each other, it’s like their own thoughts and feelings coming out, it works really well. But... I cannot listen to this song... I just laugh 😂. I’M SORRY I KNOW IT’S A BOP BUT WHEN SHE KEEPS GOING “SHOW ME YOUR PRIVATE PARTS” I FUCKING PISS MYSELF OKAY IT’S HILARIOUS I’M SORRY I'M SO IMMATURE BUT ALL SENTIMENT IS LOST IN IT 😂.

Hate It When You See Me Cry - Oof I feel this one too much, ngl I’m a little pissed it’s only a bonus track cos it’s the best deep ballad sort of song on the whole album just saying 😂. When they said Lzzy gave into the cheese for this record PRIME EXAMPLE RIGHT HERE PEOPLE fuck I love it 😂. I love how it starts soft, then the band just KICKS IN and while it remains soulful and softer it still SHREDS 😂. But man it was the lyrics that got me, and you know me, I’m not cheesy. I hate cheese both the food and the concept 😂. But for some reason here it doesn’t bother me at all?? Like in fact I LOVE it, the chorus is where it’s most cheesy but I think it fucking works 😂. I’ll inevitably do an individual post on this so I won’t analyse loads but fuck I feel this one 😂.

Overall man this album is a journey 😂. It starts off with the solid bangers, whiplashes into the deep ballads, then brings itself back up before slowing down a little and bringing it to a neat end 😂. I find it weird though that although on first listen I was disappointed with the amount of ballads and how not many songs slapped as hard as Love Bites and I Miss The Misery (fuck those two are the best 😂), but it was still what got me obsessed with Halestorm? Like how could I be “so disappointed” with it yet constantly listen to it and actually fucking BUY the album 😂. I think I was salty cos I came looking for bangers but now I just embrace it all 😂.

[heyhyunjiin]

Fanboy!Hyunjin AU

HELLO GUYS! It’s 2 something in the morning where I live and I’m itching to post an au for hyunjin aside from the au’s I have in progress ( the nephilim!au and youtuber!au are coming soon i promise.) SO WHAT BETTER TO DO THAN AN IDOL AU

•so you’re a very popular member from a girl group called, A+. (ik, it’s lame, bare with me its 2 am)

•your music can be heard blaring out from many shops, restaurants, cafe’s, etc.

• and the group has received nothing but praise for the hard work you all put in during your trainee days to the present.

•NOW LETS GET TO FANBOY!HYUNJIN.

•skz are all stans of your group but each boy has a different bias.

• hyunjin is a very proud stan. he has you as his lock & home screen. it’s a photo your company first released of you when they were announcing the members of the group.

•he picked you to stan bc of your cool personality and amazing talents! you weren’t just a pretty face uwu

•collects every album/photo card of yours no matter how many versions your company releases.

• a cashier asked him once why he had ten copies of the same album and his reply was simple. each album has the possibility of having a signed photocard.

•he held his breath every time he opened an album, however he found a different member’s signed photocard.

•not gonna lie, he was kind of bummed but nevertheless still happy that he got the rare chance to own such a precious product.

•texted in the skz group chat who he got.

• then his phone started ringing and it was jeongin.

•he had to move the phone away from his ear bc the kid was screaming his dolphin scream from the other line.

•”YOU GOT HEYOON’S PHOTOCARD?!” the younger boy asked, panting from his battle cry.

• hyunjin responded with a yes.

•”I’LL TRADE YOU, I GOT (Y/N)!” jeongin shouted.

• cue both of them screaming at the same time after they agreed to trade

• this guy jams to A+’s songs while doing anything.

•going grocery shopping? he’s listening to it w/earbuds.

•eating dinner at a restaurant by himself? still listening.

•driving to pick up his dog from the groomers? the people outside his car can hear the song and see him TURNING UPPPPP to every bop y’all had ever released.

•he knows every line you have by heart. can recite it backwards too, true talent.

• first to open a fansite for you and it became a vERY big thing for your fandom????

•this guy, he’s like the ideal fansite everyone wishes to exist.

•he doesn’t white wash photos because he firmly believes that you are beautiful just as yourself, no lightening of skin necessary.

•he lets people edit his photos too but as long as they don’t crop out his infamous cute pencil and paper logo that has a red, “A+” written on it.

•he also runs an instagram that is dedicated to updates for your group.

•everyone is always like… “how tf does he get this info so fast? like your company just posted about the news of your comeback two minutes ago and he’s already got a whole post about it with his own personal concerns and hopes.”

•unbeknownst to the company, your group always keeps up with social media posts. you and the rest of your own members have secret accounts that you use to follow fans who like to give detailed inputs on your recent performances and interviews. all their cute edits and encouragement fill your heart full of love!

•you actually took notice of hyunjin’s account first because he was one of the most popular fan accounts in the fandom. EVERYONE could count on his posts bc he didn’t publish any info till he verified it as true.

•you appreciated how he wrote about the little extra movements you made in your dance choreos that really make the overall concept of your song pop. the tiny habits you hadn’t noticed about yourself were things he wrote about as well. he also wasn’t creepy in his writing too. you could really sense how much this boy adored your music.

•btw he posted one selfie after hitting a milestone of 2 million followers and you might of… choked on your drink for a bit bc wow! this guy is behind all them posts?!

•ooooof don’t get me started on the first fanmeet your company held.

•hyunjin’s palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy (bahahaha sorry i had to put in a little eminem in there.) because he was literally going to come face to face with the individual who brightened up his life with her jokes, performing abilities, and more!

• the plane touched down and your group was led out into the airport lounge area where he and the numerous fans already waiting there, IT WAS INTENSE.

• security were doing their best to keep everyone calm but most of the fans were shoving and pulling to get a closer look at y’all.

•not hyunjin though. he was just nervously waiting for your group to make a turn in the corner of the large hallway with a small present in his hand.

• the second he saw you round the area where he stood, he didn’t try and take advantage of the fact that the security were only covering one side of the hallway from the crowd, leaving you completely exposed to simply walk in front of him with no one to hold him back if he invaded your personal space. which he totally didn’t :D

• see? The fansite every group deserves lol

•you paused when he called your name because… you’ve seen that face before!!!

•tbh he didn’t expect you to stop bc his words got caught in his throat when your eyes met his and instead his hand held out a small neatly gift wrapped box.

•you accepted the gift with a smile, a thank you, and a bow. your fingers brushed against his wrist for a moment and you both felt static surge through your hands.

•AHHHH THE CUTE FACIAL EXPRESSION YOU HAD ON WHILE YOU APOLOGIZED FOR ELECTROCUTING HIM WAS MAKING HIS FACE TURN REDDER AND REDDER BY THE MOMENT.

•”no worries! we’re both okay and that’s what matters.” he said looking very flustered.

•you were called to by heyoon bc the other members were already in the van just waiting for you.

•while the stylist was adding some finishing touches to your outfit, she asked, “do you have a specific jewelry piece in mind today?” you held up the gift hyunjin had given you and it was a beautiful necklace with a pendant that had the words, “side by side, or miles apart, your fans are always connected with you through the heart,” engraved onto it.

•this guy had the biggest smile on his face when he saw you wearing the gift he thought about for a while.

•”cute necklace!” he heard a member beside you say.

• “thanks, it’s my favorite.” you replied, and now it was his turn to kneel in front of you, his heart beating faster/harder than earlier.

OOF! would you guys like a part 2, ya girl is totally open. it’s like four minutes to four am here now, ahaha took me a while to make this. hope you enjoyed it! if you’re going to kcon la on saturday and sunday, let me know bc i’ll be there!!!!! time to sleeeeeeep. i might edit little errors here and there when i wake up later on lol. sweet dreams, my precious cabbages.

[slothrusts]

Hey @taylorswift ! Since you made a playlist for us, I thought I’d make one for you. Music is my life, I even study it at school, and my favorite thing about music is songwriting (which is probably why I love you so much). Lyrics are the most important part of a song to me, but soundscapes are also really rad. So here’s 19 songs that I adore, both lyrically and sonically, and hope that you will also like! @taylornation and fellow swifties feel free to listen in as well :)

Also, Taylor, look beneath the Read More for the track listing and me talking about each song like I know what I’m talking about lol

1.) Lit Me Up- Brand New 

     This is the best opening song of all opening songs. Brand New has created such an interesting soundscape and feel with the whole Science Fiction Album. It’s creepy, but great. Taylor I feel like you’d really enjoy some of the binaural action going on.

2.) Turn Out the Lights- Julien Baker @julienbaker

     Julien Baker is one of THE BEST lyricists I have ever found (besides you of course Tay). Everything she writes is heart-wrenching  and beautiful and I love it. I mean, come on “When I turn out the lights/there’s no one left/between myself and me” (lyk if u cri evrytim). This is a single from her forthcoming album by the same name and I highly recommend you listen to her debut Sprained Ankle cause damn is it good. 

3.) Horseshoe Crab- Slothrust 

     This song is a trip man. Slothrust (its Sloth-rust not Slo-thrust fyi) is this cool little rock/jazz/blues band from Brooklyn that I ADORE. Leah writes some outlandish but still poignant af lyrics. Notably: “Sometimes I feel like I’m a sea horse/Sometimes I think that I’m a horseshoe crab/I don’t have anything in common with myself/Except that I came from the sea just like everyone else did”

4.) Ready to Go- Hurts @adam-hurts

     Suggested activity while listening to this song is dancing because damn it’s a certifiable BOP. 

5.) Queen- Flint Eastwood @flinteastwooddetroit

     You’ve probably never seen these guys play live but Jax Anderson is a hype beast like no other and can get a crowd full of people who have never heard her music to sing and jump along like they’re the headliners. The chorus gets u going and I think that reputation era Taylor would appreciate “I’m a queen not a soldier���

6.) I Forgive No One- Citizen 

     While I’m not sure if this genre/sound is your thing Taylor, it does remind me a lot of the whole reputation era mindset. “I forgive no one for anything/I forgive no one for what can change”

7.) Moonshine- Lights @lightsalot

     Another great bop about staying up late and partying. Also Lights wrote and drew an entire comic book series to go along with this concept album?? How fucking cool is that?? It reminds a bit of New Romantics in the attitude of “who gives a shit lets go party anyway!!” 

8.) Sunshine Type- Turnover @turnoverva

     Turnover is my go-to feel good band. This song actually sounds like the way sunshine feels. “I was thinking that you could love a song that I hate/I’d still play it for you”. 

9.) Separate- Pvris @thisispvris

     I’d imagine that swimming underneath an iceberg sounds like this song. Pvris (pronounced like Paris not p-virus or puh-vris) makes some super spooky but beautiful things. And can we talk about “There’s always been a disconnect/Running from my heart to my head/And no it’s never made much sense” as well as “Pull away the world from me I don’t mind/As long as they don’t separate you from me I’ll be fine”. It’s almost the opposite of Clean, but in a good way. This entire album has got some killer outros btw.

10.) Burn it Down- Daughter 

      Elena Tonra from Daughter is SUCH a GREAT lyricist. You, her, and Julien are probably the best lyricists that I know of honestly. Plus, her, Remi, and Igor as a band make some DOPE soundscapes that you can get actually physically lost in. “Always said I was a good kid/Always said I had a way with words/Never knew I could be speechless/Don’t know how I’ll ever break this curse”. They wrote this album for a video game soundtrack, but the one before this one Not to Disappear is lyrically so powerful I cry every time I see them live lol.

11.) Trainwreck- Banks

     Banks is a bad ass bitch and I think you and her would get along swimmingly. Also perhaps invite her to sing this with you on the rep tour?? (hint hint wink wink) “Born to take care of you, or I thought so/Maybe it was just a phase” It’s like an updated more sonically banging Dear John imo

12.) Helicopter- Deerhunter

     Back on the soundscape train Deerhunter just sounds cool as shit. The lyrics to this one are story-based and talk about some guy who was a victim of human trafficking. BUT Bradford Cox makes it sound cerebral and plucky.

13.) Deadcrush- alt-J

     I love this song cause it has the coolest premise. It’s about the Dead Crushes of the band members. So like, dead people that the band members admire. The crushes are Anne Boleyn and Lee Miller. I particularly enjoy the music video for this song which is weird as all hell. The pulsing beat that drives this song is something that I think you would appreciate, Taylor. This is one of the songs where it feels more like the words are meant to be a part of a music rather than their own separate piece if that makes sense.

14.) SGL- Now, Now @nownowband

     SGL stands for “Shot Gun Lover” and holy heck does this lyrically resemble some of your stuff! Sign me the fuck up for “Starry-eyed/I was young and undone/But I could’ve died/With you there in the sun”. I’ve been listening to this band for almost as long as I’ve listened to you but they recently got a more pop sound and I am LIVING for it

15.) Lose Myself- From Indian Lakes @fromindianlakes

     I saw on your playlist that you like Cigarettes After Sex and so I thought you might also enjoy the recent stuff by From Indian Lakes. This is the kind of song you listen to when driving home from a date. Ponder closely, “Am I the worm on a lover’s hook/And now I’m right where I’m supposed to be/But something still feels wrong with me”

16.) You and I (stripped version)- Pvris

     Pvris gets to be on here twice cause they are that good sorry but I don’t make the rules (wait yes I do). The lyrics here also remind me of you and how we all just have way too many feelings and our best shot at figuring things out is through writing about them. You and I is about a love that’s not working but that is still desperately wanted, “I know it’s cold when we’re apart/And I hate to feel this die/But  you can’t give me what I want/Just give it time”. Listen to this stripped version to hear how beautiful and lilting Lynn’s voice is and listen to the full band version to hear how much of a powerhouse her voice can be.

17.) Jesus Christ- Brand New

     Yes another Brand New song. You know why? Cause they are also fucking amazing. Taylor, I recommend you listen to this song while lying in your bed staring up at the ceiling and thinking “How the hell did I get here, and how the hell am I gonna leave?” (here can be anywhere, your hotel room, you home, this universe). The next time you read a shitty headline about you in a tabloid think about the lyrics, “We all got wood and nails/And we turn out hate in factories/We all got wood and nails/And we sleep inside of this machine”

18.) Townie- Mitski @whoismitski

     “I want a love that falls as fast as a body from the balcony/And I want a kiss like my heart is hitting the ground/I’m holding my breath with a baseball bat though I don’t know what I’m waiting for/I’m not gonna be who my daddy wants me to be”…… do I need to say anything else? Hopefully you’ve already heard some of Mitski’s stuff cause she’s gonna be on tour with your homegirl @lordemusic this next spring!

19.) Pigpen- Slothrust

     Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with the post-chorus riff from this song in my head. Taylor, the lyrics I’d want you to hear the most from this one are; “I would spread my wings/If they weren’t so god damn heavy/Yeah I would spread my wings/If they weren’t coated in honey” 

And that’s everyone!! I hope you liked at least one of these songs @taylorswift . Love you eternally and catch you on the flipside!!!

[poeplepound]

!!! i !!!! love these guys so much!! theyre so spectacular omfg !

also i tried to do this once already ! and i was very far into a very long info dump about these guys and i was ALmost done ,,, and my browser crashed, but im doing it again anyway because i need it (i might make typos and sound like a bum jus btw)

sean bonnette and benjamin gallaty started releasing musci together in 2005 after having worked together in a coffeeshop in pheonix arizona - sean was 18, and the buds released their debut album “candy cigarettes and cap guns” and have since released four other full albums, a handful of singles, two eps, and a compilation

sean has a bachelors degree in social work, and has always been working in homeless shelters, volunteering with youth programs, and trying to give a voice to one of the largest groups of stigmatized humans on our planet

candy cigarettes and cap guns was released when sean (30 y/o) was only 18 - and he has since recieved lots of negative feedback on offensive content in ajj’s older songs - to this, sean apologizes but says , quite frankly , that he was a yung edgy boi at that time in his life, and even if his music was offensive then , it represents a time in his life and hes not going to let its content discount that relevance

this is similar to how ajj changed their name from “Andrew jackson jihad”, sean and ben publicly decided to stop using the old band name because they aren’t muslim and have to right to use the term jihad as a part of an aesthetic - neither of the guys expected ajj to get so big, and andrew jackson jihad was adequate for a yung edgy boi garage band

ajjs vast discography centers around themes of social anxiety, privilege, depression, mania, loving how horrible life is, making the most of nothing, being nothing, and how wonderful our shitty planet is

ajj is considered folk-punk, and to a certain degree i agree with that, but to me music genres are irrelevant, and often times musicians fail to fit a category

the idea of organizing music by genres is restricting to a musician and songs and music grow as people do.  in an interview with verbicide, sean said that he acknowledges ajj’s influence on “folk punk” but how the identification of what folk-punk actually is is very vague and unclear, what really Is folk-punk?

ajj has albums that are way more based in folk music, and some that are way more based in punk - some songs are very poppy, some kind of choral in nature - but somehow, ajj has a very cohesive, recognizable sound that never fails to impress and comfort me

this is in part to sean’s wonderful lyrics, they are so very very raw and uncut - he is incredibly relatable while staying poetic, and i admire that So Much.  his use of metaphor in his lyrics has alwasy been apparent, but even more so in his more recent albums, and his political commentary songs are more prevalent in older songs - but they stay SO RE l AT a b LE !! every time i listen to ajj, i feel so whole and accepted and like im listening to my deepest internal thoughts and feelings in the form of beautiful lyrics and entrancing music

when asked if sean’s lyrics are a reflection of a darkness inside of him, he usualyl replies by saying that hes no darker than anyone else is - he just has a way to express and expel that darkness.  after the release of knife man, sean was asked if his emotional songs were about his past and what he’s been through as a person, and hes replied by saying that a lot of what he sings about is stuff that hes seen through his job, and learned about through people he’s met and interacted with.

shortly before christmas island was recorded, sean’s grandfather passed away.  his grandpa had lived with him from the time he was 13 tot he time he was 18, and he was a very major male role model in his life.  christmas island has lots of imagery around death, and a lot of the songs on the album personify grief and death.  sean has said that christmas island is an album about “pre-grief” meaning the way that people feel bad about death and grieve loses before theyve even happen, just beause they know theyre coming.  sean’s grandfather’s death was not unexpected or sudden, and he died very happily - surrounded by all of his grandchildren, and the feeling of knowing someone you love will die shortly is what fueled a lot of the tone of christmas island.

sean is a big big fan of 90′s hip hop, and a lot of his lyrics and writing style is heavily influenced by his favorites - aesop rock, brother lynch hung, biggie, and ol dirty bastard (seriously sean is SO Iconic)

i’ve been listening to ajj since their release of “knife man” in 2011, i could never pick a favorite album of theirs  - i love each of them and theyre each incredibly important to me

their 2007 album “people who can eat people are the luckiest people in the world” gave me a completely new worldview , and showed me that the world is incredibly imperfect, and humans are incredibly imperfect, but life is so worth living, and there is still so much good amazing stuff in the world

in 2008 they released the ep “plant your roots” and in 2009 “cant maintain” - both of theses eps were the first time i had found relatable emotional music that felt so accurate to myself - it was raw, it was unapologetic, it was beautiful, and it was sad.  these eps have an incredible tone, and theyre both so different (cant maintain being more light and - dare i say - playful) but still so connected and deeply rooted (pun intended ;) ) in my head as near perfect expressions of my feelings

“knife man” was released in 2011 and it came into my life at a time where i was trying to learn about myself and discover who i was, and this album guided me in such a strong positive direction - it introduced me to white privilege, taught me about forgiveness, how to be unapologetically me, but still let me stay in touch with my dark, cynical, pessimistic side of myself - knife man is somehow so negative but still so positive and i think thats how a lot of real life is, and ajj captures that incredibly well 

knife man was the first ajj show i ever saw, and i will never forget how captivating sean is when he preforms, his body language and his expressions reflect so much of what he’s singing, theyre so true

in 2014 they released “christmas island” and im not gonna lie when i first heard it i really didnt like it - i thought it was too poppy, and not raw enough like how ajj usually is - it felt wrong to me.  but alas, i kept listening, and i soon fell in love with this album.  it is indeed poppier than their other stuff, and when it came out in may of that year, i didnt really want to like it that much - and so i avoided it, and once Taylor Swift’s super poppy 1989 came out that october, i avoided it Even Harder because i felt like 2014 would be the year of great musicians selling out to labels to gain hits.  eventually, i let myself sink into christmas island - i allowed myself to like it, and boy o boy did i fall in love. i saw the show and i cried. the album seamlessly ties together themes from older albums - optimism, death, unrest, self-loathing - but it introduces a new style to seans words - theyre less direct, less blunt, less in-your-face , he starts using metaphors that dont make sense the first time you listen, his lyrics take on a new type of poetry on this album - and its beautiful

christmas island is softer, its more about introspection and knowing why youre the way you are - its about emotional intelligence - this album taught me how to know whats happening, and how to accept it and learn form it and let myself dream and live, despite how shitty stuff is, and i love it.

in 2016 “the bible 2″ was released, and i waited to listen to any of it until i went to see the show - i binged the album twice through right before i went to see them, and i had really really mixed feelings about it - some of the songs i didnt understand, i didnt like the sound of some of them, and i felt like they got very preachy.  once i saw them play the song “small red boy” though, i was 110% hooked - it suddenly made sense to me as an album.  the sound is so personal to me, and i connect with the radio static and the messy raw noise, and the lyrics take on such a poetic, innocent tone, and all the songs are equal parts inspiring, funny, and dark.  i really really really truly love this album.

this is kind of just a silly extra, but in 2015 they released a single called “keep on chooglin” and i honeslty dont understand what most of the song means, but its really a bop and its poppy and upbeat and positive, and i can gather that basically to “choogle” is to be yourself unapologetically and just do your own thing and basically fucc the haters, and its a nice song to listen to if youre feeling down because the lyrics are funny and the message is bright

ajj’s discography has gotten me through some of the hardest years of my life, and have seriously, literally, kept me from killing myself on so many occasions and i am forever grateful - if i had not stayed alive until now, i would miss so much and i would throw away my life, just because i didnt feel like making it, and now i can say in full confidence that this band has ridded me of all my suicidal ideation , and if anyone is down here reading this, im gonna make an ajj “dont die” playlist that i Will post here

in 2012, ben gallaty recorded a couple songs under the name wiccan babysitter, adn then a few years later (2016) he recorded a few more under the name benjamin galaxy - he compiled these songs in 2016 onto an lp, one side being the wiccan babysitter ep and the other being the ben galaxy ep.  i didnt know this was a thing until recently? which is weird? but i have listened through the lp many times - i still dont have a strong grip on what the songs mean, but i can say that the wiccan babysitter/benjamin galaxy lp is super comforting to me as well.  the sound is unique and different from ajj, but it is still warm and whole feeling, and the lyrics are still relatable to me, and i want to read more about what ben wrote about and why, but im having trouble finding info on this project

im mostly done for now, it’s very late at night, and i have work tomorrow morning, but i’ll leave u with this - youre an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer, and thats a huge bummer