#which i then completely forgot was a thing until exploring it that one time later

[samandcolbyownme]

i forgot to reupload this - enjoy again!

Summary: Anon request - "Heey, i hope u're good and i hope u're accepting requests. I'm in love with ur works and i was wondering if u could write a very smutty piece about Sam and the reader being best friends (she's living with snc, bc they've been best friends all their lives). Maybe lately both Sam and the reader start noticing each other a lot more than before, like y/n is studying one night and Sam comes back from his run, they have a late night snack and it's all blushy and cute. But the upcoming days there's a lot of sexual tension between them until Sam just decides to put an end to their friendship to become more. I hope it's ok ♥️" 

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, unprotected sex, angst, hair pulling, choking, scratching, oral (f rec), fluff with filth 

Word Count: 5.7k | Not Edited Yet 

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

You sat on the couch, lap top on your lap as you typed up your paper for school. It was quiet since Sam and Colby went out to meet someone about a possible exploration, so you put your headphones on to drown out the silence. 

You were too zoned out on getting this thing written that you completely missed the text Sam sent which stated that they would be home soon. 

After ten more minutes of typing, you close your lap top and stand up, letting out a scream as they laugh, "Honey, we're home." Colby says with a laugh and you sigh, "I see that." 

Sam smiles at you, and you hated when he did that, mainly because it made you fall more in love with him, and you couldn't do that.

You guys were best friends. 

Emphasis on the friend's part. You knew them, pretty much your whole life, and even though they haven't ever really said it, you knew that it would even be weird to talk about it, or so you thought. 

"How was the meeting thing?" You ask as they walk over towards you. Sam shrugs, "They're going to let us in, it's just a matter of finding out when exactly." He plops down onto the couch, "Get that paper done?" 

You sit back down, opening your computer back up, "Almost. I need like two more paragraphs." 

"What's it on again?" Colby asks turning your computer towards him, "Geoengineering technology? You are way too smart for your own good." 

You laugh and you can see Sam staring at you lovingly but you don't want to get your hopes up, "Yeah, sometimes I wonder if that's why I get headaches, too much knowledge up here." 

Colby laughs, "You know you don't have to go to school right? You can just fully commit to joining the xplr squad." 

You roll your eyes, "We've been friends for how many years? I've been a part of that squad before it was even thought of." 

Sam laughs as Colby nods while laughing, "You got me there. I'll give you that one." You smirk and look over at Sam, "Did you beat your time this morning? I wanted to ask but I had to leave before you got back." 

Sam sighs, "yes and no. I did but not by much, so.." 

"You'll get there. You have plenty of time." You smile at him and stand up, "I have an evening class tonight so I'll see you guys after five or so." You walk up to change, and right before you enter your room, Colby speaks, but it's not as quiet as he thinks, "You gotta tell her, bro."

You perk up, curious as to what they're talking about. 

"There's no way. No, Colby. I can't just spring that on her." Sam argues back and his voice goes quiet, making it hard for you to hear. 

You shake the thoughts out of your head and continue in to get dressed. You throw on a pair of jeans, sneakers, and one of the new hoodies from Sam's collection.

You grab your backpack and head back downstairs, "I'll see you guys later, do you want me to grab dinner on my way back?" 

"Yeah, that'll be good." Colby looks at you and nods, "Get whatever, you know what we get." You smile and nod, "Okay." 

Your eyes meet Sam's and he smiles at you. He loved seeing you in his own merch. You are his favorite model, but you didn't know that, for sure. 

Sam's eyes stay on you as he watches you search for your keys,"by the microwave, y/n." You look over and lo and behold they're there, "Thank you!" 

He yells out a quick, "Welcome!" as you leave the house. You make your way to your car, the thoughts running rabid through your mind, 

He's got a girlfriend and he's going to ask me to move out because he knows I like him and it's weird. 

You get in, sitting there for a moment before starting your car and driving to campus. 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

"It's not weird at all." Your friend Lacey says leaning back in her chair, "You've been friends for a while, and I always say the friendship stage is the most important thing before dating someone. And you my friend, have it perfect." 

You sigh, "But the way they were talking I just... I feel like he's going to tell me he is talking to someone and he knows I like him and- Gahhhh." You groan quietly and take a deep breath as she leans over, "I've witnessed you and Sam together in a room full of people, and I can tell you that he doesn't look at anybody the way he looks at you." 

"Really?" You ask, her words giving you a little bit of hope and she nods, "Really. And just a little f.y.i, best friends don't look at each other the way you and Sam do." 

You smile slightly as you think about what she said, "I just don't know how to tell him, like.. my anxiety about the friendship ending gets the best of me because I don't want to lose him, and I know him and Colby are a package deal, so I'd lose them both and it just-" 

"Take a breather. Why don't you talk to Colby about it? I'm sure he knows a lot of their end." 

You shake your head, "I couldn't do that. I feel like Sam is the one I need to talk to or not at all.. I just.. I just have to get over myself." 

As your professor starts talking, you keep thinking about everything, but little did you know, Sam and Colby weren't editing videos like you thought, they were having almost the same conversation you and Lacey were having. 

Growing up, the adults would pick on you and Sam for claiming to be just friends, and for a while there, it was really true, but as you got older, the truth was covered up.

Each video you have done with them, the fans have pointed out things about you and Sam. Some would be simple comments, basically what Lacey said, about how you look at each other.

Then others would be making a big deal out of you picking to run to Sam after something scared you during the investigation. Most of the time it's because Sam is right there, you'd run to Colby too if you needed to, but who are you kidding, Sam is your safe place so of course you'll run to him first. 

You never commented back to it, because that would just lead to more confusing things, so you just brush it off most of the time. You've never say anything to Sam about it because you know more than likely already seen them, and if he hasn't said anything, why should you? 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You pull your phone out as you walk to your car, texting the group chat, I'm just going to go somewhere close, I have to study for a stupid test tomorrow and I don't want to be up all night. 

You toss your backpack into the passenger seat and get in, reading Colby's reply, that's fine 

Sam replies after, whatever is easiest for you.

You set your phone down and start driving, going where you need to go before heading home. 

You see someone walking towards your car which makes you kind of skeptical about getting out. You reach up to lock your doors until you see the big X on the front of it, letting out a sigh of relief. 

You push open your door and lean your head out, "Don't scare me like that." 

"Like what?" Sam asks as he pushes his hood down, giving you a smile. You get out and stand up, "Walking towards my car when it's almost dark out with your hood up." 

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just threw it on, I figured you'd need help carrying stuff in." He takes your backpack from your hands and slings it over his shoulder, "Anything else?"

You shake your head, "No I can get the rest. Thank you." 

He nods, smiling at you for a few seconds before cleaning his throat, "Colby is hungry so we should probably get back in there."

"Of course he is." You laugh, grabbing everything else before walking inside with Sam. You wanted to blurt it out on your way up to the house, but it was like you couldn't speak at all. 

"Finally." Colby teases as you walk in through the door that Sam held open for you, "Thanks." You mumble quietly, going back to normal volume when talking to Colby, "There was a line, I'm sorry." 

He laughs as he points to you, "Don't let it happened again." 

You salute him, "Yes sir, Colby sir." 

"Yeah that's right." He laughs, making you laugh and Sam smiles as he enjoys how comical you and Colby are. 

After dinner, you find yourself on the floor of the living room with your books spread out across the rug, "I'm so screwed." You mumble to yourself, "I should know this." 

"Have trouble there Einstein?" Sam asks as he walks over to the couch and sits down. You look up at him and nod, "This stupid surprise test, that actually isn't a stupid surprise because I knew about it, I just forgot.." you laugh slightly, "Will be the death of me." 

"Just relax, don't overdo it. When was the last time you took a break?" 

Him being so caring makes it harder, no one has ever cared about you the way Sam does, "dinner."

"Y/n that was two hours ago." Sam laughs slightly and sighs, "Take a break, go shower or something. Reset and come back." 

You push yourself off of the floor and sit, "Maybe you're the one who's too smart for their own good." You stand up, stretching and Sam can't help but notice your shirt ride up your stomach a little bit. 

He shakes his head as his voice is low, "If that was the case then.." he trails off as Colby comes down the steps, "you're having a party and didn't invite me?" 

"Yeah, you can help me study. We'll call it a study buddy party." You laugh as Colby stands right back up after sitting down, "No thanks. I'm out." 

You laugh and toss your pen down, "I'm going for a shower anyway. I need a break." You hike it up the stairs and when you look back, Sam looks away from you quickly.

You look away smiling and make your way to the bathroom. 

After a while of being upstairs, finding things to do to avoid going backstairs to your books, you sit down on your bed and lay back. 

You think about what you want to say to Sam, or more of what you need to say. 

You decide you're going to talk to him. Right now. You get up, and walk down the steps to find Colby sitting alone on the couch. 

"Where's Sam?" You look around as you walk over to Colby. He looks up at you, "Said he was going for a run." 

You look at the clock, "it's almost ten pm?" You furrow your brows, Sam usually never goes on late night runs like this, "Is he okay?" 

A smirk grows on Colby's face and you point, "No. no. Don't even." 

He holds his hands up, "My lips are sealed." You roll your eyes and look at your books, hoping to change the subject, "Can you just help me study for a little bit?" 

He sighs and sits up, "Fine." 

An hour goes by and Colby went up to work on some editing, leaving you alone in the kitchen as you worked on making yourself a snack. 

You whispered questions to yourself, answering them, then celebrating when you got the right answer. 

You hear the door open and Sam walks in, freezing slightly as he wasn't expecting you to be up, "Oh, hey." 

"Hey." You smile and turn back towards your book, "How was the run?" 

He shuts the door, shrugging as he sets his phone and headphones on the counter, "Not what I expected really." 

"You want to talk about it?" You go back to putting peanut butter on your banana slices and he walks over, looking over your shoulder as he reaches around and takes one, "i don't know how to talk about it." 

You nod slowly, "I know that feeling." 

He leans against the counter, "We've been friends for a while, y/n." 

You glance over at him, a small smile resting on your lips, "Longer than a while, Sam." He chuckles and nods, "a lot longer than a while." 

You set your knife down, licking your lips as you work your the courage to ask what you want to ask most. 

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Sam asks, reading you like an open book, "You can always talk to me. Or Colby. You know we both care so much about-"

"Do you have a girlfriend?" 

He's taken aback slightly, "What?" He laughs and shakes his head, "No, no. I don't." He looks up at you, crossing his arms, "What makes you think that I have a girlfriend?" 

You turn towards him slightly, "When I went up to get ready before my class.. I heard Colby tell you that you have to tell her, and I didn't.." you trail off, sighing as you close your eyes, "Nevermind." 

Sam stares at you for a few seconds, "Oh.." he chuckles, "That.. yeah no.. that was about a girl who I've been talking to.." he follows up quickly, "..but not in the way you think." 

You nod, your heart sinking slightly, "Ah, I see." 

"Yeah, I have to tell her that I'm not interested in her." Sam tilts his head towards you, "She hasn't gotten the hint yet, and I don't want to be douche about it." 

"Yeah, no of course not." You smirk slightly, "You're only mean to me." He laughs, "Well yeah, but you know what they say.." He sighs and leans over, taking another banana slice, "if a boy picks on a girl?" 

You try to fight a smile, but you fail so you look down, "I've heard that saying before." 

"Then you can probably put two and two together." He smiles at you as you look up at him, "I'm going to bed, we have to meet someone in the morning about the exploration." 

"Maybe don't be up so late."

"Could say the same to you." He winks and jogs up the steps, leaving you to ask yourself, does Sam like me back?

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Over the next few days, the energy between you and Sam was different. 

You felt drawn to him. 

And he felt drawn to you. 

You looked at him with so much love, and lust. You needed Sam, now. It felt like you were aching for him, but after the kinda, yet not-so cryptic conversation you had with him the one night, you just weren't sure what was in store for you and Sam. 

You've been flirty, almost feeling like you and Sam were closer. You would pass each other and his hand would land somewhere on your body, usually your lower back, and it would send a shock up your spine. 

"Morning." You say walking down the steps, "How'd your investigation go?" 

"Sam, why don't you show her the footage?" Colby says nudging Sam's arm. He takes a deep breath, "I don't think.." 

"You're coming back with us tomorrow night. That's all I'm saying." Colby holds his hands up, shaking his head and you look at Sam, pointing to Colby, "What's he talking about?" 

He licks his lips and sighs with a smirk, "Come on. I'll show you." You nod, following him back up the stairs, "Did it go good?" 

You follow him into his room and sit on his bed as he sits in the chair infront of his computer, "It was a loving spirit, basically, so yeah, it went good." 

You lean forward slightly, eyes on Sam as he clicks on things. A shy smile grows on his face, "I know you're not looking at the computer." 

He slowly turns his head towards you and you keep your eyes on him, "So what if I wasn't?" He cocks his jaw to the right as he smirks, "Never said it was a bad thing." He nods towards the computer, "Come here." 

You stand up, moving over to stand next to him. You press your hand on the desk and lean down slightly, watching as he presses play. 

You can tell he's watching you, but he's waiting for your reaction. 

"Can you repeat that for us please?" Sam asks on the video. After a few moments, you hear your name, clear as day and it wasn't from either one of the guys, "What the hell?" 

You look at Sam and he holds his hand up, "Just wait." 

You look back at the screen, "Something moved in that doorway." You lay your finger on the screen and Sam leans forward, "What? No way." 

"Rewind it... yeah.. there stop." You glance at Sam and nod towards the screen, "Now watch." He presses play, eyes on the screen and he leans back, eyes wide, "How did we miss that?" 

You laugh slightly, "I don't know."

He watches in shock, "Why don't you ever come with us anymore?" 

You hoped this question wouldn't ever be asked. 

"School, you know that Sam." You look at him quickly before reaching for the mouse to hit play, but he stops you, "That's the fake, I don't want to talk about it reason. Tell me the real reason." 

You stand up, letting out a quiet sigh, "I just didn't want to get in the way." He tilts his head, "In the way of what?" 

You shrug, unsure of what to say. 

"Is it the comments? About us, and what people think we are?" Sam crosses his arms and looks up at you. You laugh nervously, giving him a nod, "I guess so." 

He chews on his lip, "Uh huh." He smirks and leans forward, "Well they'll have a hay day with this." He clicks play and pulls you to sit on his thigh. 

You lean forward, listening to Colby speak on the video, "What does y/n have to do with this?" 

".. Sam .. it's time .." 

You furrow your brows, continuing to listen to the video, 

"Sam.. Sam.." you see Colby grab Sam's arm and Sam looks terrified, "Colby.." 

"Sam.. she's a good spirit.. she's made it known she doesn't want to hurt anyone." Colby assures him, "you think she's telling you that you need to tell her?" 

"Tell who what?" Sam shoots back and you look back at him. He's resting his chin on the palm of his hand and you look back at the screen. 

"Y/n.. tell y/n that you like her more than you're letting on, man." Colby's voice is low, almost like they tried to keep it a secret but forgot the camera was rolling? 

"Yeah, yeah. You're probably right, Colby.. I just.. how do they know that?" Sam is confused, "I just don't.. oh my god.."

"... together..." 

"Should y/n and Sam be together?" Colby asks, "If you say yes, make that little light go off for us." Instant light and Sam pauses the video, "Lady Zeroni was known as a match maker back in her day but it turned deadly when a man who wasn't happy with the person she chose for him came back and went on a total murderous rampage throughout the entire house." 

You lean back slightly, "So what you're saying is..." you laugh slightly and rest your hand on the top of his chair, "A ghostly matchmaker is saying we should.. what? Be together?" 

Sam stares up at you, "The whole time, I kept thinking about you. Here alone. Like we don't know what we deal with sometimes and when your name is said, my immediate thought was you in danger and I just.." 

You listen as he trails off, "When I asked about you having a girlfriend, I was scared you were going to ask me to move out because of how I feel about you." 

"Wait.. how do you feel about me?" He tilts his head and tries not to smile and you laugh, putting your hand over his face, "Shut up." 

He takes your hand off his face and holds it gently in yours, playing with the ring that's on your middle finger, "I'm scared as hell to want you.." his voice is quiet, "But here I am.." he looks up at you, "..wanting you anyway." 

You look up at him quickly and your eyes meet his, "I know that feeling, too." He smirks slightly, letting out a breath of air, "We've been friends for a wh-" he stops himself, smiling as he corrects his words, "We've been friends for our whole lives basically, and I just.." 

"Don't want to ruin the friendship?" 

He nods, "Exactly." 

You nod, "Since we're being honest.. I don't know when it happened, but all I know is that you're the first person I run to when I'm scared, happy, sad, anything." You tilt your head, "I mean, when we're doing a video, I run to Colby too, but mainly because he's close, but everything is just.. it's just very different with you." 

"You look at me way different than you look at Colby, I know that for a fact. Actually, Colby was the one who brought it to my attention and I honestly tried pushing it off because I wasn't sure if it was too weird.. like we've known each other for so, so long and we've reached that max level of comfortability with each other... it's just.." 

"It's a real amazing thing, Sam. Not many people, or should I say, many people would kill to have the type of relationship we have." You run your hand through his hair, and he closes his eyes, "Lacey told me that best friends don't look at each other the way we do." 

His eyes flutter open and he smiles, "Colby told me the same thing." 

"And I read the comments on our videos, and I just didn't want you guys to stop getting views or have your name being drug through the mud because we were being too touchy with each other." 

He pulls you closer, "Your safety is my number one priority during those and if me keeping an arm around you while we're in some sketchy ass haunted house makes you feel secure, then I'm going to do it." 

You smile, laying a hand on his chest, "I may have overthought a lot of it." 

He nods, "Oh me too, one hundred percent." 

He runs his bottom lip under his teeth, "I've been waiting years to do this." He slides his hand up, pulling you in so he can press his lips gently to yours. 

Your hand moves to his cheek as you deepen the kiss and he pulls back, scanning over your face as a smile forms on his lips, "Now that I think about it, we'd make a great couple." 

You tilt your head and scrunch up your nose, "You think so?" He pulls you in to kiss you, mumbling against your lips, "Know so." 

You hum against his, "You know what else?" 

"Hmm?" He tilts his head back to rest against his chair, looking up at you as he waits for you to tell him. 

You stand up, his hands still on your hips, "We know everything but one thing about each other."

He raises an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? What's that?" 

You slide your hands to his, "Come on." He stands up, following you over to his bed, instantly picking up what you're laying down for him, "Mm. Are you sure?" 

You turn around, slipping off your sweatshirt, "You have no idea how long I've thought about getting you into bed, Golbach." 

He chuckles as he slips his own shirt off, "I think I have an idea, y/l/n." His hands lay on your hips and he gently sits you down on the bed. 

You lay back as his body moves over top of yours, his hips resting perfectly between your knees. It's like you were made for each other. 

"Tell me what you want, babe." Sam's voice is low as he moves to kiss down your neck, "I'm all yours now." 

You felt a wave of calmness wash over you before you take his hand and slide it to your throat, "Prove it." 

He smirks with a slight hesitation before slowly tightening his grip, "As you wish." His lips crash into yours, kissing every once of skin he can as he makes his way down to the top of your sweats. 

He bites your waist band, looking up at you as he lets them snap against your skin with a smirk following the release, "Can I take these off?" 

"You don't have to ask." You go to sit up and take them off, but he presses a hand flat to your chest, "Let me, do it baby." 

You bite your lip, nodding as you lay back down. 

His hands slide up your clothed thighs, squeezing them before slipping his fingers between the band and your skin, "I want to take my time with this." 

You needed him now, but you understood. 

"Okay, baby." You whisper and smile down at him, lifting your hips as he tugs your sweats down. His lips part slightly, leaning little open kisses up your legs.

He moves back up, hovering over you he grinds against you, "You have no idea how many times I've thought about you.." he leans down and kisses you, "Thought about you." 

You smile, "I relate."

He kisses down your neck, "When you came down wearing one of my hoodies, I wanted to make you so late for class." 

"Would have been worth it." 

He smiles and brushes hair from your face, "Fuck, why'd we wait so long?" You shrug, "Good things take time, Sam." 

He smiles and looks from your lips to your eyes before leaning down to kiss you. He rolls over and you follow, straddling him as your lips reconnect with his. You grind down on him, low moans escaping the seal of your lips on one another.

"Please." You whimper out, "I need you." 

Sam grips your neck, squeezing slowly, "Say it again." 

Your lips form into a smile, and you whimper. "I need you."

He sits up, wrapping his arm around your back, "You're so fucking beautiful." His lips press to yours, moving slowly as he uses his arm to make your body move. 

You wrap your arm around his neck and grind down, moaning his name quietly. He leans back, "lay down for me." 

You move and lay on your back, watching as Sam strips the rest of his clothes off, "Take them off for me." He nods towards your panties that are still on your body and you comply by taking them off and kicking them off the bed. 

"You know, I've also thought about being between those legs.." he gets on his knees, moving towards the middle of the bed by your feet, "multiple times actually.. I was so close to pulling you into the bathroom at that party we went to last week and getting on my knees for you.." his eyes move up your naked body with a smirk, "You looked so fucking good." 

Your heart skips a beat, remembering that, even in your drunken state at the time, Sam wouldn't stop looking at you. 

"You should have." You whisper watching as he kisses up your legs, alternating sides with each kiss, "I wouldn't have minded." 

"Trust me, the next party we go to, I'll make it happen." He winks before dipping his head down and taking your clit between his lips. You let out a gasp, laying a hand on the back of his head, "Sam!" 

Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling slightly as you arch your back, "Oh god, yes." You moan as you grind your hips against his face, whining out how good it feels. 

His tongue sinks into you and you pull his hair, causing him to groan against you. Your other hand searches for something else to grab for leverage. 

His hand throws your leg over his shoulder and your heel instantly digs in to pull him closer, "Fuck, Sam. Sam. I'm so close."

His fingertips dig into your skin, pinning you down as his tongue works its magic inside of you. 

Your eyes roll back and your back lifts up off the bed as he brings you to orgasm, "Shit shit shit." You moan out, "Fuck." 

He pulls away, immediately coming up to kiss you. His cock rubs against your pussy and you reach down, rubbing it up and down your soaked slit a few times before he pushes his hips forward, his cock slipping inside of you for the very first time. 

You both moan, clinging to each other in anyway you can. 

He slowly pulls out and slowly slides back in, taking in the feeling of you, "Fuck, you feel so good." 

"S-Sam.." you press your chest to his, "Fuck me. Please." 

He smirks and tilts his head, watching your face twist with the best pleasure you've ever received, "Fuck, yes." Your nails dig and drag up his back, "I love you." 

Sam leans up, stopping his thrusts as he looks at you. Your face goes shocked, "I-I don't know where that ca-" 

"He smiles and leans down to kiss you, "I love you more than words can say." 

"Then show me." You say quickly before you press your lips to his, "and you don't have to be gentle with me anymore, Sam." 

He smirks and shakes his head, "You're fucking perfect." His lips crash into yours and he pushes his hips all the way into you, moaning lowly against you. 

He slides a hand down your body and hooks his arm under your knee. He pulls it up and the new angle causes you to gasp, "Fuck."

He starts out thrusting slow, but quickly builds up to a faster, punishing pace. He tilts his head back, moaning before looking down at you. 

He sits up slightly and reaches his hand down to cup your chin. His thumb slides across your bottom lip and you part them instantly. 

He watches as you take his thumb between your lips, hallowing out your cheeks as you suck. He groans lowly, "I'm never going to get tired of you in this position."

You smile, teeth gently biting down on his thumb and he takes a sharp breath, "Oh yeah. Never getting tired of you in general." 

He pulls his hand away and lays beside you. You automatically roll over, straddling him to ride him. You tilt your head back with a moan as his cock slides back inside of you. 

His hands immediately grip your hips and help guide you up and down, "Fuck." His eyes are glued to his cock disappearing inside of you, "Doing so good, baby." 

Your eyes light up at the praise and he raises his eyebrows, "Like a little praise do we?" He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, "You're full of surprises aren't you?" 

"You have no idea, Mr. Golbach." 

He sits up slightly, "But I will." 

He bends his legs up and your hands press to his knees as you bounce up and down, "Gonna cum." You whimper out as you slide all the way down and roll your hips, cursing out as you cum.

Sam is in awe of you, his eyes are moving all over your face, your body, "That's it, baby. Good girl." 

Your eyes snap open and you lean down, kissing him as you move your hips up and down, "Only for you." 

"Say.. say it again." He drags his fingers up your leg, "Please." 

"A good girl, but only for you." 

He flips you so you're back to being on your back and he's on top, thrusting into you, "Fucking right." 

You smile, moaning out as you wrap your legs around his waist, "Fuck, fuck yes." 

"M'so close." He mumbles into your neck, "Fuck. You're so good to me." 

His thrusts slow down and turn kinda sloppy as he gets ready to break the grasp of your legs locked around him. 

He pulls out to cum on your stomach and you lay there breathing heavy. He lays beside you, kissing your shoulder for a few seconds before standing up to grab you something to wipe off with. 

He comes back, hanging you a towel with a smile. You take it from him and smirk, "What?" 

"You're my girlfriend." He smiles and bites his lip, quietly celebrating. You tilt your head, "And you're my boyfriend." You smile at him and wipe up, tossing the towel on the floor before being met with a Sam laying his body over yours, "Should we go break the news to Colby?" 

You sigh, "I can picture his celebration dance already." 

Sam peppers kisses all over your face, getting you to laugh, "You're so cheesy." You turn your head, pecking his lips, "One of my favorite things about you."

He smiles and tucks your hair behind your ear, "You.. are my favorite thing about me." 

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Thanks for reading! I love you all so much! 🖤

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[anangelwhodidntfall]

I need hc's of Tsu'tey and human!reader like how they met, how they became friends and etc, I think it would be cute <3

A/N: Tsu'tey and Human!reader is my new favorite thing to write, because they are both so in love with each other &lt;3

Tsu’tey & His Favorite Human Headcannons

How They Met: 

-She had been out in the forest exploring for a few days with Norm and Dr. Augustine when Tsu'tey first laid eyes on her. 

-He had been out hunting when he heard their voices and decided to watch them from the sidelines trying to see what they were up to before taking off since they weren't harming anything or anyone 

-It would be a few days later when he heard a yelp making him alert and run towards the source where he saw her laying face first on the ground.

-He helped her and asked if she was okay, checking over for injuries but now up close he could see how beautiful she was even if she was a Sky Demon. 

-She thanked him for helping her and when she got back to the lab, and told everyone what happened they were all in shock as they all knew Tsu'tey wasn't fond of humans.

-that night she lay in her room thinking about the handsome warrior that had helped her today and hoped she would run into him again

-Tsu'tey lay in his hammock thinking about the pretty sky demon he had seen and hoped he might run into her again.

After Her and Jake Get Invited to Camp:

-Despite her not having an avatar she was still invited to learn the way of the people along with Jake which made her smile

-Tsu'tey didn't know what to think when he got assigned to teach you the way of the people, i mean how was he supposed to teach you when you were a human

-he remembers the night of asking why she didn't have an avatar and the sadness that spread across her face. "I got hurt in my avatar, and now I can't use it until they fix it so I'm stuck like this" she said as Tsu'tey frowned at her words.

-Even though she was human she did try to keep up with them and learn their ways even if it took her longer than normal.

-Tsu'tey was impressed by her and how well she was able to complete some of the tasks and how she didn't give up if she couldn't complete one.

-the more time they spent together, the more they learned about one another. He learned about her favorite things, her life before Earth, and her time having an avatar. She got to know him and his favorite things, his family history, and he even told her about his first love.

Them Officially Being Friends and Possibly Something More:

-So Mo'at asked reader to start healing training since she saw how reader was with helping out members of the clan who were hurt

-Tsu'tey always accompanies her when she has to go into the forest, bringing her back herbs, and allowing her to practice her skills on him

-whenever Tsu'tey gets hurt, he immediately goes to her even if it's a small scratch just to see her worry her little heart over him being hurt

-them going for rides on ikran, he loves seeing how happy reader gets whenever they ride, or when she gets to feed his ikran

-he makes her traditional clothing so she can "fit in" but really he thinks she looks so pretty in them

-sometimes they will lay out in their secret spot together and talk about everything and anything until fall asleep in each other's arms.

-one time the reader got attacked by some of the Navi that didn't accept humans and Tsu'tey was fuming and nearly killed them

-He loves to carry reader in his arms, and his heart nearly melts every time she falls asleep against him 

-Reader loves to be picked up and carried by him so much, that they could be talking with Jake and Neytiri that she will look at Tsu'tey and be like "carry me and he picks her up and they wave by to Jake and Neytiri who left confused. 

-Him making a bow more suited for reader since she's so little

-Him hurting anyone who lays a hand on her unintentionally or intentionally for example, reader had been watching the warriors hunt with Tsu'tey when the Na'vi next to her accidentally forgot she was there and went to move the hand with his bow in and ended wacking her and breaking her nose. 

-Him putting some of his beads in her hair as an unofficial way of marking her as his but then they kissed and all his plans were ruined. 

-After some internal debate and seeking advice from his friends and Mo'at he decided to finally make reader his officially and he was so happy when she said yes :)

(Courting & Becoming Mates)

-once he started the courting process, he rebuilt his home to make it more livable for her which meant a space for oxygen tanks for her masks and whatnot

-he also built shelves for her herbs and medicine and her other stuff such as her crystals or photos, yeah he studied her room a lot 

-he made a staircase with the help of his friends so she could get up and down to his house with ease

-He also had some of her blankets brought from the lab to his home as well, essentially he brought anything from her room to his home to make it more of her space too. 

-When he finally showed it to her, she was in awe and so much more in love with him after seeing what he did for her with the staircase to inside the home, he truly did care about her 

-His pride and heart soared when she told him that she loved everything about it and him so much followed by a hug.

-Since the reader is human and doesn't have a na'vi right now, she can't properly mate with Tsu'tey by making the Tsaheylu, which worried her alot until he took her to the Spirit Tree and mated with her before Ewya, like he would've done if she was Na'vi. 

-After the mating happened, they could hardly keep their hands off of each other

-Anytime reader feels insecure about being human, he always reminds her how perfect she is, because in his eyes she truly is

-them constantly being with each other, never far apart from one another unless he has to go hunt or train the new warriors and then in that case she is stuck with Neytiri until he gets back

-the two of them constantly doing each other's hair and complimenting each other and making each other sick with how in love they are

-When reader finds out she has to get a new avatar, she was upset until Tsu'tey reminded her that it was him and her forever and that he would still love her as he does now if she never got one which made feel grateful for having him in her life

-her never being able to sleep without him beside her or if they are fighting which is hardly

-her introducing him to human technology such as a camera which he ended up actually liking it especially when he was taking pictures of reader

-when she finally got her avatar he was so happy, probably happier than her, they could do so much more now that she had her avatar

-when she finally gets pregnant, he cries because he didn't think it would be possible 

-him doting on her during her pregnancy and being the best father to their son 

-they ended up having 4 four kids together, three sons and a girl who was a total daddy's girl.

-in the end, the reader and tsu'tey got their happy ending with the person they love most in the world.

[clare-with-no-i]

theogony part 1 behind the scenes

**SPOILERS ahead for theogony and mild spoilers for Outlander!**

this is just going to be a long infodump of all of the things I pondered while writing theog (specifically part 1, part 2 will come later) but never talked about! I'll try to go chapter by chapter, and maybe I'll end up adding more later on, but for now I just think it'd be fun to chitchat and reminisce on some of my favorite tidbits. this story is really my baby idk :")

Prologue - Alalá

one thing that I wanted to establish in the prologue, other than the obvious James-Sirius dynamic, is the presence of otherworldly or spiritual premonitions in this universe. it was always important to me that the first person who actually made any sort of prophetic declaration was James.

so much of the story relies on Lily's status as an oracle, but this little tidbit here helped build the world for me so much; we can't be sure if James's various dreams and premonitions are wishful thinking, or really the Gods speaking to him, or something else entirely. of course, this story deals with time travel, so there's an inherent supernatural element. but Lily and James's conflicting – and sometimes competing – conceptions of God felt like such a necessary tension for me to explore. it was such an incredible shorthand for the tension between modern and ancient sensibilities. and we never get a definitive answer to those looming questions, which I knew I wanted to do from the outset. did the Gods bring Lily back to the past? did James? did she do it herself? does God/the Gods even exist?

also: there are probably moments where I failed to do this, but I tried to capitalize Gods in all of the James chapters but not in Lily's, unless she was referring to the Abrahamic Capital G God. that is, until the last chapter, which I'll elaborate upon later :)

also: i wrote the prologue first, then the epilogue, and then i posted the prologue pretty immediately after. I had the entire story roughly outlined but I absolutely jumped the gun when it came to posting the prologue LMAO I didn't even really announce the story, I just joked about writing it and then posted the prologue, which you can see from the beginning note. i remember Suze was about to go to sleep and she started messaging me like wtf Clare what do you MEAN?

and the rest was history (pun completely intended)!

Chapter One: Ouroboros

the narrative brushes past the other statues in this section pretty quickly, but I always imagined that the first bust is Philoctetes, James's father. I think the consensus on this one tends to oscillate between Philoctetes and Aristides, which is another great interpretation.

The reason I wrote it this way and imagined it to be Philoctetes is because I thought it would have been nice to let Lily 'meet' James's father (in a sense), even before she 'meets' him. when I read this chapter back after I first finished the story, I had a very soft moment where I close-read my own fic (lol) and thought that maybe it was Philoctetes who sent Lily back to the past. maybe he sensed something about her and knew she'd be right for James and for antiquity.

sooo many people forgot about this! which i was hoping for!!!!! I was hoping everyone would forget about James's statue holding something until the Big Reveal. fun fact is I wrote the reveal right after this. I liked the idea that, no, he was never going to actually be holding anything. he'd be reaching for Lily. the choice to accept his hand was always going to be hers.

a fun fact about this chapter is that I had to pull from a bit more Outlander lore than I originally thought. and no I don't mean the 'Jesus H Roosevelt Christ' part lol. It was always hilarious to me how Outlander set up Claire to be the objectively perfect person to go back in time. she was a combat nurse who happened to develop an interest in medicinal botany and Scottish-English history. she also happened to spend her formative years with her adventurous archaeologist uncle after her only living relatives died. like girl. lol.

so I had to really toss up which traits I thought it would be appropriate for Lily to have as she traveled back in time. the biggest one, obviously, is her field of study, which was necessary given the language barrier and the completely foreign nature of social norms in Classical Athens. I toyed around with the idea of making her mum a nurse so as to give her some base medical knowledge, but that felt a) unnecessary given the circumstances of the story, and b) far-fetched that she would have gleaned enough transferable skills to apply in 479 BCE.

it was also fun to give her more reason to go back to the future; she has a sister who, while they aren't in contact, is a significant emotional attachment; she has academic goals; she has a best friend (however toxic we know him to be). it added a layer of conflict that I enjoyed playing up, even if I definitely could have explored her modern life more fully.

Chapter Two: Kinesis

soooo much exposition and worldbuilding in this chapter. oml. it was so much fun to play around with the reasons why James would be in Tatoi in the first place; I can't remember quite how I landed on the Persian auxiliary soldier thing, it might have been from my initial (admittedly extensive) research on the months leading up to Plataea; it may have just been the fact that I KID YOU NOT this story used to take up all of my fucking brainspace. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'd be doing work for my research fellowship and just daydream about theogony. the initial idea came to me AS A JOKE!!!!! when i was idly pondering before going to sleep (as one does), and then it just wouldn't leave me alone. i kept imagining what it might look like. I thought about how the time travel might work. I thought about James's Greek equivalent. I ranted to my sister and her dog (he did not care) about what the statue might look like and mean (sorry bestie love u).

one narrative decision that has given me a bit of strife was the Dimitrios-James name change. I've had a number of people ask me if I'd ever try to pubilsh theog – and this is one of the (many) reasons why that would be pretty categorically impossible. using James's English name in his internal narration, instead of the name I give him as a Greek man, is something that only translates to fic. it makes pretty much no sense at all if you consider these original characters lol.

honestly putting the word 'practicum' in here caused me SO much pain. in James's chapters I tried really hard to use words which had Greek roots and not Latin roots, even if they're in modern English today. in most of his chapters, I'd try and find synonyms for big/complex words so I could use ones that came from Greek. it just helped me stick to his narrative voice a bit more.

I forgot how much STUFF went on in this chapter. oh my god SO much happens?? we get the lack of the Parthenon as the time marker (felt very clever doing that), Lily processing the fact that she's time traveled (lazy writing on my part to not have this happen in a Lily POV chapter but I'll take that on the chin), the Plataea reveal. OML. tired just thinking about it. lily sweetie i am so sorry

guys, the amount of time I spent wondering if I should Greek-ify Sirius's name is insane. For so long I thought about making him Seirios, which is the original Greek version of Sirius. But I felt like I had already messed with their names too much, and so I left it. but honestly I'm still torn. looking back, maybe it would have been the right move to make him Seirios and have Lily give him the name Sirius, but I guess we'll never know!

one of my favorite Sirius moments, and something that, essentially, sets up the rest of the story. but I wanted there to be a little ambiguity throughout the story about how much of this Sirius actually believes.

we know that James has just confessed to Sirius and Pétros that he was hoping they'd desert the Athenian army. we know that he thinks he's going to die, and he's adopted this sort of fatalist view of his future. and then here you have Sirius, who could never abide such a thing, pretty much leaning into the idea that Lily can tell the future – which would allow him to challenge James's prediction. I always wanted to leave it up to interpretation, and I know it comes up in later chapters (at the komos especially), Sirius's skepticism about Lily's origins. but it's such a fun question to ask: does he really believe that she's the Oracle that James prayed for, or does he just need that to be true so he can try and influence the future himself?

Chapter Three: Peribolos

omg. lol. the chapter three opening academic argument scene. this is a favorite of mine, and something I had so much fun writing. it's actually based on an argument/"spirited discussion" I had with my dad a few years ago about moral absolutism versus moral relativism which forced me to interrogate and expand my knowledge on the subject. I thought it was such a fun way to get into Lily's politics and her character without doing crazy exposition in the ancient world.

it also touches upon one of the touchstone themes of the story: that to study something is, in a way, to detach yourself from it. academia is routintely completely disconnected from its subject matter, and it creates this weird disdain for lived experience versus book knowledge. Lily has spent upwards of ten years studying (in some capacity) the ancient world, but she is so utterly out of her depth when she experiences it herself. as such, she espouses these very revolutionary politics when examining historical conflicts, but she has a blindness to what the real-world realities may have been for the people living in those conditions at the time.

alsooooo, The Return of Martin Guerre is one of my favorite books I read in college, and the easter egg here is that it's about a person of dubious origin entering a community and the politics of how the community might accept or reject them. ha ha!

^^based on something I said in an argument with a Poli Sci major in college and I have to say one of my better moments. was an absolute haymaker. this was very 'author gives main character a zinger' of me and I will not be ashamed of it

this! ladies and gentlemen! this was basically a declaration of love!!!! to be loved is to be remembered!!!

in a very romantic way, the study of history can be such an act of love to those who lived before us. i just adore the idea that, even before Lily developed real romantic feelings for James, she had this itching sort of feeling; AKA, when someone has made such an impression on you, and you know (or in her case, you think) that you'll be leaving them at some point, and you just want to be interesting enough, be impressive enough, that they remember you, that they think of you randomly as time goes on. that is such a giddy hallmark feeling of having a crush, in my book. I liken it to making eye contact with someone or having a brief conversation on a night out, maybe at 3am on your way back from a bar when things are sleepy and dizzy, and you just have this sense that you're being seen in that moment as anyone you want to be. i love this moment so much I feel like I could give it its own meta LMAO

Chapter Four: Hamartia

this chapter really put the pedal to to the metal lol. at the time of writing the story, I generally didn't (and still don't) love fake dating that much as a trope; I don't typically love plotlines predicated on (even harmless) deceptions, it's just a sensitivity of mine that I don't expect anyone to relate to or share. but when I was considering how to structure theog, it just made so much sense for James and Lily's arcs to have them get 'married.' there was no way that Lily was going to be able to navigate Classical Athens as an unsupervised woman alone, and even with the Oracle title offering her some protection, there was nothing really tying her to James. much like Outlander, it really did feel like the last possible resort, which softened me to the idea of using the trope.

fun fact, i got a snarky comment a few months ago complaining that i was trying to pass the story off as historically accurate (lol to the fifteen disclaimers I embedded throughout which addressed that) and one thing they took issue with was that lily wouldn't have been able to own property and the only thing that would have kept her from being a slave would have been marriage.

which! yknow! none of which contradict the story! but anyway I digress.

I was initially nervous about how early on the fake marriage happens; we don't really know the characters that well yet, we're not sure who James is as a potential partner to Lily, or how Lily's feelings for him are starting to bump up against her very rightful and justified desire to get the hell out of dodge. but – we only really see James in canon as a husband and as the father to the main character, so it felt pretty true to the source material to throw him into being a husband pretty early.

I loved writing this scene with Aristides. I've always been partial to his appearances throughout the story, and this one is just so special to me. I think of him as a driving force in humanizing the ancient world in theog, sometimes even more so than the main cast of characters. to elaborate a bit on that: with the Marauders and Lily and the other transplanted HP characters, I think there's this inherent sense that they are already fleshed out people (to some degree) even before they hit the page of the story, because they appear in canon and across Marauder fic verses. no matter how much I make James into Dimitrios and Peter into Pétros and Fleamont into Philoctetes, people know them and love them outside of theogony verse. but not Aristides. he doesn't have a one-to-one HP character. there is some version of him that really existed in 479 BCE (my complex and largely negative feelings on RPF are setting off alarms at this but we proceed) and that's it.

it would have been easy to just give him this very gruff and surly character, to make him a military general who didn't care about anything other than the war. I think that's how we conceptualize historical people sometimes, often without meaning to. but he was a person, and he had likes and dislikes, he probably had a family and maybe he'd fallen in love, and it was such an honor to give him such dimension. not to say that I'm putting that personality upon the actual historical person; but just to really take my time with a character outside of the Marauder canon. in this scene he has this human moment where he reminds James that, yes, love is a worthy pursuit, even to those in positions of incredible power. even when the discussion isn't about romantic love but about James's love for his closest friends. it's this permission that James didn't even know he was seeking but ultimately that changes the course of his and Lily's lives. Aristides is who James might become, in many ways. in the actual Plataea chapter this becomes more and more prevalent. (more on this later!)

overall, I am forever hoping that people come out of reading this story with an appreciation for the humanity of those that came before us. I did a poor job with other characters in this story, and I own that, but I'm proud of how I wrote Aristides.

oh my godddddd I fucking love this part. i am so fucking proud of it. LMAO. achieving wordplay in an ancient language that i have never studied should be on my fucking CV I swear. like this was just perfect I'm sorry I am BUZZING that I pulled this off.

also, a cute way to introduce a phrase to the narrative which will become very important: se filo!

I remember that I wrote this passage, which many people commented on and which I loved writing, in a coffee shop on a sunny day when my cousin was visiting me to introduce me to his girlfriend. there wasn't any wifi in the coffee shop so I was blessedly devoid of distractions and could only focus on the doc, and i was LOCKED IN let me tell you.

when my cousin and his girlfriend arrived I told them I was sending an important email and edited the last sentence of that paragraph about four different times while they sat in silence and waited for me to finish LMAOOO

Chapter Five: Ascesis

a profoundly insane moment in my personal history was reading excerpts from Eudemian Ethics, Nichomachean Ethics, and Memorabilia just to passively mention them in a flashback in a fic. relied heavily on Foucault for this, I will be so honest. why did i do that tho. like girl take a breath...

but in all seriousness this was just a joy to write. i miss being a history student and having these discussions – law school is great, but history classes will forever hold my heart ngl! also, this passage is in some ways an homage to my grandfather, who is one of my favorite people ever. he taught himself Classical Greek and Latin when he was in his 20s, before he went to medical school (and get his pilot's license for fun, he's seriously the most interesting guy alive). he gifted me his leatherbound Great Books printings of Aristotle's works and of the Iliad and the Odyssey shortly after I started theogony, and I cherish them so much. he spurred my interest in ancient greece when i was young. so this is for him :)

one of the hardest things for me to articulate (and maybe something I could have done better) was the war and the balance between James's inherent goodness and his growing feelings for Lily. i wanted her to have plausible reason to think that he doesn't at all feel romantically towards her, even as she's growing to admire him more and more. I hoped, as I wrote the story, that these little interactions where the reader clues into his feelings (this protective 'peninsula' moment being one of them) still walked that line. as in, i wanted lily to reasonably believe that he's just that good of a guy that he would take issue with anyone being taken advantage of, not just her. she's so destabilized in this moment as well, I think that worked to my advantage. or I hoped it did LOL.

from what I remember of writing this chapter, it just came really quickly and naturally. much more than the later ones. this early period of writing was just an outpouring of the ABSOLUTE BRAINROT I was going through after conjuring up the idea for the story. it just flew. the ending scene where they have their little almost-moment was probably about an hour's worth of writing. it's like I couldn't type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. not sure i've experienced that since!

also, the now, here, alive line reappears in the last chapter, which is one of my favorite callbacks:

:) :) :)

Chapter Six: Kleos

one thing I used to worry about CONSTANTLY is that I was losing the classic (and necessary!) Marauder goofiness to the more somber setting. so it was a jaunt and a boon to write scenes like the opening one here, where it honestly could be copy-pasted into the Gryffindor Common Room and it'd look a lot like my canon stories.

he's just a dude being hungover and embarrassed about the previous night with his bros!

the first time we get a hint of Pétros disappearing to dubious locations!

this chapter was one of the most research-heavy. it was a new setting, filled with new characters, and predicated entirely upon planning the Greek front at Plataea. so if I couldn't nail that down (at least to some degree), I was going to have trouble. of course I took liberties, but I spent a lot longer combing through sources for this chapter than some other ones, I'll tell you that for free. it took ages to find any treatises on ancient athenian sword combat, sigh.

yeah I mean i remember thinking that the subtitle for this chapter could have been 'I am going to create an environment that is so toxically masculine' because that's pretty much the whole vibe. James is not immune to that, either, and that was intentional. he feeds off of the violence and the anger of the men surrounding him, and he exhibits some behaviors in this chapter (rushing off to kill Anaxagoras after he grabs Lily's arm, for instance) which are not ideal! but I do think that there's meaningful conversation to be had about Lily's cultural assimilation into an ancient, misogynistic society, and how there was absolutely no way I was going to get out of this story without giving James some sort of period-typical attitude. now again, I took the liberties I deem necessary, because I have no desire to make my main romantic lead into an asshole. that's not my James Potter. not that that's news [gets taken out by a sniper]

i got CLOWNEDDD for referring to this dude as Dion son of Dion but idk what to tell you!! that's how the old documents referred to him!!! i didn't make that shit up I swear to god!!!!

also - that's the actual text of the Oath of Plataea, except (as Lily points out) it should read Athena Areia. is it likey that she'd remember this off the dome? no. is it possible that she just recognized the missing descriptor from context clues? yes. did i care enough to explain this either way? no, no i did not.

the Big Ticket Item of this chapter, though, is the oh.

and it wasn't just an oh, it was an oh followed by this innocuous conclusion that isn't even about Lily. i made myself laugh so hard with that. he's just like 'oh god my friend is going to wave this over my head FOREVER' and you know what? he's right!

as for the previous paragraph in that passage, I pulled a bit of a bait and switch, but not as badly as you might think! it was a risk to even bring up the idea that James could leave Athens, because I know it spurred some people into thinking that he'd go to the future with Lily (sorry babies that was not on the table). but what I intended for this passage (however successful it may or may not have been) was to just…allow him a moment of real, visceral empathy for the sensation of displacement that Lily's experiencing, and as well, introduce the idea that he might leave the life he's cultivated in Athens. his entire upbringing has been himself, the consummate Athenian man, surrounding himself with people from outside of Athens and drawing from their experiences, but never venturing outside of his little realm. in so many ways, the story questions what Lily's relationship with 'home' is (especially later on), but it always felt necessary to me to reckon with how 'home' may change for James as well.

finally:

yeah honestly i just remember the exact moment i thought of this passage. i had been reading the secret history (shoutout Donna Tartt i idolize and fear you) and i was lying down in my local park in the summer. I just thought about the Greek myths I knew, and the kind of cosmic horror that it is to really admit you're falling in love with someone, that they have this power over you that you didn't anticipate. and that closing line of the scene really struck me out of nowhere – I wrote it down in my notebook and just stared at it for a good few minutes. it's still one of my favs of the story :)

ok! if you made it this far, you are just amazing. this has to be a few thousand words at least. TYSM!!!!

see you all later for the part 2 BTS ❤️

[occasionallycoinpin]

i need to know what that storyline for oc 110 was

i’ll be honest, i started writing it down, got distracted by other things, and then completely forgot about it until now

so i guess i’ll dump what i have right now, and finish it up later

occasionally coinpin 155

(collapsed for length)

(this is an m&l dream team riff so there’s a good amount of similarities bit whatev)

Premise:

Many years after the competitions end, a miraculous discovery! Leafy, while going through old messages to delete to save memory, finds an odd, unopened email from January 1st, 2012. As it turns out, Dream Island wasn’t destroyed all those years ago! It was simply relocated to a new part of the ocean, the robotic staff waiting ever so patiently for their new owner to claim her island. Leafy, ever the kind soul, invites everyone to Dream Island for a wonderful vacation!

As the BFDI crew will soon come to find out, there is a very literal reason the island is named DREAM Island.

The Arrival:

The charter ship arrives at the island rather precariously, so much so that Pin, observing the docking with her friends, falls off the ship and has her point stuck in the ground. While the robotic servants assist her, Coiny and the others must head along for the introduction tour.

Rather predictably, Coiny and Firey start feuding about something or other, which begins the first boss fight: Metal Firey (they had him eat a yoyleberry earlier to not burn down the ship).

- A tutorial fight for the basic mechanics, very simple as the only move Coiny has available is Jump.

- Done in a few hits + counterattacks.

The delay caused by the fight allows Pin to catch up with everyone else, and the welcoming festivities continue.

After a bit of exploring the Dreamscape Hotel, Coiny and Pin stumble upon a door which a robotic servant says simply leads to the basement. And indeed it does! Though the servant neglected to mention that there weren’t actually any stairs down, and the door simply led to an open chasm that the duo fall into. Time to find a way out.

The Discovery:

The basement is filled with crud you’d expect to see in a basement, as well as some basic enemies. The duo find the Hammers down here, an essential tool. As they descend further the basement starts looking less basement-like and starts looking more temple-like: the Dreamscape Hotel was built on top of the ruins of an ancient temple.

Deep in the temple, they find a wall mural of an ancient civilization seeking salvation in a figure that bears an awfully unsettling resemblance to Pin. But before the duo can dwell on this any longer, two Stone Pin statues come to life and attack!

- An exam fight for both using two characters at once as well as using the Hammers.

- The Stone Pins can only be Hammered at first, but if properly countered they will fall on their backs, allowing Jumps that deal critical hits.

After the fight, who else shows up but Golf Ball, immediately berating the duo for destroying such priceless archeological artifacts. She’s down here as she’s set up a Lab in the basement (because of course she did) and wanted to see what all the noise was about. The duo follow her back to the Lab.

The Dream World:

A small crowd has gathered in the Lab, curious as to what the ruckus was about. GB takes this opportunity to go into a lecture about a new phenomenon she’s discovered on the island: certain spots emanate a strange energy, one that she is currently researching located right in the middle of the Lab. Pin, not really paying attention, investigates the spot and nearly immediately passes out. GB, taking this as an insult to her lecture, goes on another rant, completely distracting her from the fact a portal has opened over the sleeping Pin.

Everyone in the crowd is surprised by this development, except for Pillow, who was seemingly expecting it. She hurriedly grabs Needle and jumps into the portal. Coiny, not one to stand by while his friend gets kidnapped, hurries in after them.

Coiny finds himself in Dreamy Dreamscape Hotel and soon meets up with Dreamy Pin, the embodiment of Pin’s mental self image. In battle, Dreamy Pin will augment Coiny, boosting his stats and enhancing his Jump and Hammer. After some exploration, the duo find Pillow and the now unconscious Needle, and a boss fight against Pillow begins.

- Pillow starts the fight by summoning a legion of False Dreamy Pins to surround her, which can both attack independently and assist Pillow with her own attacks.

- Partway through the fight, Pillow steals Coiny’s Hammer and disguises herself and the False Dreamy Pins as False Dreamy Coinys. She then proceeds to shuffle herself into the crowd, and the player must keep track of which one is Pillow. Jumping on the right one removes the disguises and returns the Hammer, while Jumping on a wrong one reveals it as a False Dreamy Pin and deals damage.

- After taking enough damage, Pillow flees the fight.

The Disaster:

Despite the fight, Pillow has enough energy left to enact her plan: she stabs Needle into the ground, creating a crack that spews a strange energy. Outside, in the Real World, the portal begins emitting this energy. Strange, dark crystals begin growing on some of the robotic servants, as well as a good amount of the BFDI crew, all throughout the island.

After the energy clears, Pillow takes Needle down into the hole she created, which closes up after them. Coiny and Dreamy Pin are dumbfounded, and, after breaking some of the dark crystal blocking the way, have no choice but to return to the Real World to reassess.

When Coiny returns out of the portal, and Pin awakens, GB can’t help but start asking a million questions about what had just happened. After one of the strange crystals formed in the Lab, GB attempted to harvest it to no avail before it mysteriously evaporated. After the duo fill her in, she deduces that the crystals must exist in the Real and Dream Worlds simultaneously, and while it is indestructible in the Real World, it is possible to break while in the Dream World. GB dubs this material Crystalized Somnolescent Energy, whereas Coiny purports the much more popular name Nightmarium.

Various objects start rushing into the Hotel, saying that more crystals are around and that anyone afflicted by them has fallen into a coma. By now, the duo’s mission is two-fold: find out where Pillow disappeared to, and destroy all of the Nightmarium that has grown across the island. While GB needs to stay in her Lab to perform more research, she produces the GB-Drone: a miniature drone that allows GB to communicate with the duo while they’re out and about. The duo set out to the closest location to the Hotel: the Fantasy Fairgrounds.

and that’s all i’ve got for now. if people seem to like this i’ll present more of the story in this fashion, and if not i’ll just dump the rest when it’s completely finished

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Stuck Between a Jock and a Metalhead

Summary: Nancy, on a whim, decides to visit Steve at Scoops Ahoy, which leads to her overhearing confessions from Steve that leads her to think about the decisions she's made. A few days later, she decides to come back. She finds him being hit on by the town freak. What's a girl to do? Oh, get stuck in a freezer with the both of them.

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve - Chapter Thirteen - Chapter Fourteen - Chapter Fifteen - Chapter Sixteen - Chapter Seventeen - Chapter Eighteen - Chapter Nineteen - Chapter Twenty - Chapter Twenty-One - Chapter Twenty-Two - Chapter Twenty-Three - Chapter Twenty-Four - Chapter Twenty-Five - Chapter Twenty-Six

@nightmareglitter

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Once again, they were in the hospital. Nancy sat with Eddie and Robin while the doctors took Steve away to be tended to. Nancy had been looked over as well and been given several shots for the scratches she received. She didn't realize that she had gotten so many on her face until she looked in the bathroom mirror. There was even a bite mark on her neck. The story was that they had been exploring an abandoned cabin out in the woods when bats attacked them, and to explain Steve’s road rashes, they told him that a stray dog had dragged him off, trying to get at the bats. It was a ludicrous story, but they seemed to believe it, and completely Robin's idea.

Wayne and Claudia were busy packing their things, getting ready to leave town. They had dropped Dustin off back at the Wheelers and dropped Lily off to bring Steve’s car to him. Meanwhile, they were all sitting in dazed silence. Well, Robin kept pacing back and forth, twisting her hands as she did so. Nancy realized Robin had a few scratches herself. It was fucked up, this situation of theirs.

"Mayhem's out there somewhere," Nancy mumbled.

"The question is. . . Is she still our Mayhem?" Eddie asked.

"I hope so," Nancy sighed.

Eddie laced his fingers through hers and kissed the back of her hand. It was quiet for a moment until Vickie popped into the room.

"Robin? I thought that was you," Vickie said. "What happened to your face?"

Vickie frowned as she moved forward to cup Robin's face. She stroked the scratches on Robin's face softly with her thumb.

"Oh. We were checking this abandoned cabin, looking for clues like we're Scooby-Doo or something, but all we found were bats," Robin said sucking in a breath. "We're fine, though. I'm fine! Very fine!"

Vickie blushed, realizing what she was doing. She pulled her hand back.

"I was just dropping off my dad's lunch. He forgot it at home," Vickie said.

Shit, was it really already lunchtime? Nancy's stomach rumbled.

"Yeah, right, cause your dad's like a doctor here," Robin said and Vickie smiled in amusement.

"I broke up with my boyfriend," Vickie blurted out, and she scowled. "Apparently, losing my cousin got in the way of his spring break. Me moping around wasn't fun for him. On top of all that, he said that Fast Times doesn't have a plot. Can you believe that? It's completely ridiculous! Plus, I think there's someone else - I mean something else that I have to figure out, and I think that I'm almost there, you know, to figuring it out. Um, anyway, I have to get this to my dad. I'll be seeing you, maybe not here because I don't think I want to see you with any more wounds, you know? Bye!"

Vickie scurried out of there pretty quickly, but not before Nancy caught the sight of her face turning bright red like Robin's was doing right now. Nancy shared a knowing look with Eddie.

"What?" Robin asked.

"Oh, nothing! I'm fine!" Eddie grinned.

"Very fine, in fact," Nancy said.

"Fuck off," Robin said as she plopped down beside them.

It wasn't long before Vickie popped back into the room and looked at Eddie frantically.

"Eddie, do you not know yet?" Vickie asked.

"Know what?" He asked.

"Jason and his friends got out of jail," Vickie said. "I heard from a friend that they're gunning for you."

"Shit! Goddamnit!" Eddie screeched.

"I never believed it. Not for a second," Vickie said. "I always believed you."

Eddie wasn't hearing it, though. He jumped up and started pacing the length of the waiting room. Nancy stood up and placed her hands on Eddie's shoulders.

"Baby, just breathe," Nancy said.

"I've got to run, get out of town. No, that's stupid. They'll just go after you guys. Maybe I can draw them away somehow," Eddie started muttering.

"I'm sorry, Vickie, but do you think you could give us a moment?" Nancy asked.

"Sure," Vickie said softly and turned to leave.

"Hey, Vickie?" Robin asked.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Anything for you," Vickie said, and Robin grinned brightly as Vickie left.

"Eddie, just breathe, relax. We're going to be prepared if they do come for you," Nancy said and cupped his face. "I will tear them apart with my bare hands before I let them hurt you."

"Yeah, I have no doubt about that," Eddie snorted.

He drew her closer and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Nancy smiled against the kiss as he poured every single emotion into it. She stumbled back until she hit the wall. He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I love you," Nancy said sweetly.

"I love you too," Eddie said. "If you were cold, I'd open up my chest cavity and let you sit inside it."

"Aww," Nancy said.

"Aww?! That's disturbing, Nance!" Robin exclaimed.

"It's a Star Wars reference," Nancy said in amusement.

"Yeah, but still," Robin said.

"How the fuck did they get out of jail?" Eddie asked as he was pulled into Nancy's lap, letting her scratch his stomach.

"Yeah, I have no clue," Nancy said. "I didn't think getting out on bail would happen so quickly."

"Maybe someone's daddy has a judge in their pocket," Robin said and paused. "Hey, Nance, quick question. How are you able to be the big spoon while they're both little spoons?"

"Eddie and Steve alternate. I'm still the main big spoon, but sometimes Eddie's in the middle while Steve’s the little spoon. Sometimes, I wind up in the middle when they have a nightmare," Nancy said.

"So, you're their Nancy bear?" Robin asked and Nancy giggled.

"If you want to put it like that," she replied.

"Are your legs getting tired?" Eddie asked.

"No, I'm comfy," Nancy said and pressed a kiss to his shoulder as she squeezed him.

"Stop being cute! Some of us are still single!" Robin yelled.

"Not for long!" Nancy and Eddie exclaimed.

"Gah! Stop!" Robin exclaimed.

"Anything for you, Robin," Nancy said teasingly.

"Shut up!"

They quickly fell into silence as they waited for Steve to come back. Nancy's stomach growled again. Eddie jumped up from Nancy's lap.

"Lunchtime! I'll go get us some lunch," Eddie said and kissed Nancy's forehead.

He moved to do the same thing to Robin's forehead in a platonic manner before he changed his mind at the last minute. He grinned and licked her forehead. He cackled and quickly ran out of the room, dodging the magazine that Robin threw at him. Nancy giggled. She was pretty sure that they had been siblings in another life. Robin and Eddie were exactly like how she was with Mike.

"I hate him, I swear to God, I hate him," Robin said as she rubbed her forehead.

"No, you don't," Nancy said in amusement.

"As per usual, you're right, Nance," Robin said.

Pretty soon, Eddie returned with food from the cafeteria and passed them out.

"Are we allowed to take the food out of the cafeteria?" Robin asked Eddie.

"You know what? I'm not really sure. No one stopped me," Eddie replied with a shrug.

The hospital food wasn't that great but considering it filled their stomachs, it was better than nothing. Once they were done, Eddie pressed kisses to Nancy's scratches before pulling her into his arms and putting up the reclining chair. Nancy had just drifted off to sleep with Eddie's snores filling her ears when Steve came walking in, wearing a scrub shirt and Eddie's vest.

"Steve?" Nancy asked.

"Hey, baby. I went ahead and signed myself out against their wishes. They did have to stitch me up. They gave me some medicine and some ointments to put on my road rashes," Steve said. "I'm good to go."

"Are you sure?" Nancy asked.

"We should get back to the others. Besides, you know how I feel about doctors," Steve said.

"Well, they're not all bad, Vickie's dad is a doctor," Robin said. "And I totally have a thing about doctors too."

"Yeah, he was the one who tended to me. Great guy," Steve said. "He almost convinced me to stay."

Eddie snorted awake and grinned at the sight of Steve.

"You're back! Are you okay?" he asked, his brown eyes widening in concern.

"Just fine. Let's go," Steve said, slapping Eddie's knee.

"Don't we need your car to get out of here?" Eddie asked.

"Honestly, I kind of just want to get out of the building. We can wait outside for Lily," Steve said. "There are benches outside. Sorry."

Nancy smiled and pressed a hand to his cheek. She understood why Steve was so uncomfortable here, knowing what he went through in Starcourt. . .the torture and the doctor who come along with it. She stood on her tiptoes and pulled him into a deep kiss.

"Of course, let's get the hell out of here," Nancy replied.

They walked out of the hospital, and as soon as they did, Steve breathed a sigh of relief. Nancy pulled him into her arms and held him gently.

"I love you," Steve croaked.

"Talk to me," Nancy said softly.

"Trying not to think about Mayhem being out there somewhere," Steve said.

"Me too," Nancy said.

Eddie sniffled and pulled them both against him. Robin sighed before joining the hug, wiping tears away from her eyes.

"I'm glad you're alive, dingus," Robin sniffled. "You scared the hell out of us. . . I also hope that you somehow get Mayhem back, whatever she is now."

"I love you all," Nancy said.

"Nancy!" Robin gasped. "Hitting on me in front of your boyfriends!"

"You're my sister, you idiot," Nancy said.

"Aw, Nance," Robin said, grinning. "You're my sister, too."

The squeal of tires peeling in front of the hospital startled the group into separating. Her heart practically leaped into her throat when she saw Jason's car instead of Steve’s. When Jason got out of the car, he was holding a gun. Nancy cursed. Their weapons were at her parents' house. The other jocks stepped out, looking menacing but nowhere near as crazy looking as Jason. He held out the gun and pointed it at Nancy.

"You took away my girlfriend, now I'll take away yours," Jason said.

Eddie suddenly lunged in front of Nancy, breathing heavily, his face furious.

"It's me you're after, isn't Carver? So go ahead, kill me. I'm not going to stop you. You're the one with the weapon here," Eddie said as he walked up right to the gun. "And when you kill me and the crazy shit in this town still happens, I hope you realize that you killed an innocent man. An asshole for sure, but a killer? No, and neither are you. You're an abusive piece of shit who gives narcissists a bad name, but I don't think you're a killer. All I ever wanted to was play my game and give other kids a place to belong when society kicked them out for being different. . .for not conforming to their ideas of what people should be like: not a hair out of place. We didn't bother you. We just wanted to be left alone and play our fantasy game in peace. You came after us, hunted us, and tried to step on us like we're ants. In the game, we slayed monsters, and sure, there was magic, but we used it to defeat those monsters. . .to solve puzzles. . . To challenge ourselves. We did it as a team, and as much as we hate to admit it, it's much like your basketball game. Imagine if it was the other way around. If we were the ones hunting you down and killing people like you like you are doing now. . . Do you really think that we would kill a fellow nerd like Fred?"

"Maybe he - he tried to stop you. Maybe Chrissy tried," Jason said, wavering.

"I would never in a million years kill Chrissy. She was the first person, beside my uncle, to look at me like I was a person and not my con man asshole of a father. We were kids, and even though my father constantly caused problems, constantly walked out of my life, I still hoped that he would make an appearance at my talent show. I knew he wouldn't, and she knew he wouldn't, so she made a promise before I went on. She promised to cheer for me. . .this raggedy looking kid with holes in his pants, who felt like he didn't deserve to be treated with kindness. She saw me, though. Not Al Munson, just Eddie. So, would I kill her? No, fucking way. So, do it. Wash away my father's curse. Kill me! KILL ME!"

Eddie got down on his knees and pressed his forehead to the barrel, closing his eyes. Nancy was trembling, frozen to the spot in fear, and she reached out for Steve, holding onto him tightly.

"Do it, Jason, kill that freak," Andy snapped.

There was doubt in his eyes, and his hands shook. Nancy hoped that Jason would come to his senses and make the right choice. Looking at him, it almost seemed like he was fighting something or someone in his head. They never got to know what Jason's choice would be because a moment later, another car pulled up, and it still wasn't Steve’s. Tommy Hagan stepped out of the car as he pulled something out of the backseat. It was a baseball bat.

"Is there a problem here?" Tommy asked, twirling it in his hands.

"Alright, Hagan's come to back us up," Andy grinned.

"Oh. I came as back up but not for you assholes," Tommy said, pointing the bat at Andy. "Drop the guns or I break your fucking leg."

"Gun beats bat, dumbass," Andy replied.

"Baby! Why don't you step out of the car and get into the driver's seat?" Tommy asked.

Nancy's eyes widened as Walter stepped out of the car. He must have been sitting down in all of the pictures that Tommy had sent them because Walter was fucking tall. He glared at the jocks as he passed them and slipped into the driver's seat.

"Now, you tell me which is faster? Your pitiful looking gun or my car?" Tommy asked. "The car definitely has a higher chance of hitting you."

Walter revved the engine as he kept his cold stare on Andy. Another car pulled up to the hospital entrance. This time, it was Steve’s. Lily got out and pointed her gun at the jocks.

"FBI, DROP YOUR WEAPONS!" Lily yelled.

Jason glared at her for a moment, looked doubtfully at Eddie before nodding at the others.

"Let's go!" Jason hollered.

They piled into Jason's car and took off. Nancy, pale faced and nauseated, ran towards Eddie. She pulled him up off the ground.

"I'm okay, I'm okay!" Eddie exclaimed.

Nancy reeled her arm back and slapped him in the face, leaving a red mark on his cheek.

"Asshole! How could you do something so reckless? So stupid!" Nancy sobbed before surging forward and kissing him deeply.

Nancy pulled back to let Steve kiss him as well.

"I can't believe you did that. He could have killed you. You could have fucking died!" Steve said gripping his collar.

"I'm getting mixed signals here," Eddie said. "Are you angry or grateful?"

"Both," they said.

Steve and Nancy wrapped their arms around him, hugging him tightly as they cried.

"I'm just tired, so fucking tired," Nancy sobbed. "I'm sorry you felt like you had to do that."

"He was going to kill you," Eddie sniffled. "I couldn't let that happen."

They pulled away from the hug, wiping their eyes. Robin moved past them to get her own hug with Eddie. Tommy approached the group.

"Tommy, what are you doing here?" Steve asked in surprise.

"Saving your boyfriend's ass, apparently. I told you I was coming down for spring break, and we were freaked out when we heard about the murders then when we couldn't get a hold of you. Finally, someone told us that they spotted you in the hospital," Tommy said. "What the hell is going on, man?"

"There's no time for this, let's get back to the house," Lily said. "Do you trust this man?"

"With my life apparently," Steve smirked and pulled him into a hug. "It's good to see you, man."

"You too. You look like shit, by the way," Tommy laughed.

Nancy smiled as she watched them for a moment before piling into Steve’s car. She knew how much it had meant for Steve for Tommy to come back into his life as the boy he had befriended a long time ago. She had to believe that things that were once bad could be good again, and here there was, further proof that second chances could exist. Her relationship with Steve and Eddie was the first proof that things could change for the better. She just had to keep fighting for it.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

[drkdreams]

Forgotten Orgasms

Reposting from my fetlife

Trigger warning for hypnokink content don't read if you don't like that.

I forgot I had orgasms.

Not all orgasms just a few specific ones.

Ones it was predetermined I would forget.

And predetermined how I would remember them.

Brains are interesting. I find the highest form of arousal and intimacy for me involve mental stimulation. I've been playing with a hypnotist, Mentat, for alittle over a month now. It has been incredibly hot, and now as we are beginning to feel more comfortable, we are starting to explore and try some new things. With discussion on consent before hand, and a post mortem discuss on how things felt afterwards.

Two nights ago we decided I would forget the session. Usually he is very careful to make sure I remember everything. This time the goal was forgetting. So after dropping, and floating, and falling, and orgasming for a while. I forgot it happened.

Now my brain, my subconscious, is a sneaky lovely bitch, because she knows how hot I find this all, and so she went along with it. My brain dismissed lingering thoughts, small inconsistencies that pointed to we had played. Redirected thoughts so I couldn't focus on what happened... I cleaned up and went to bed thinking I had just been turned on during the conversation, even though I never dropped.

It was midday the next day when there was a small crack in the wall holding my memory. I was deeply focused on work, heavy mental cross checking of investory numbers, when I got a few sudden flashes of images and words spoken and a small waves a pleasure. But I couldn't chase the memory. It was there and then gone. I tired to focus and remember but it was no where. And it wasn't another memory. It felt different. So of course I text Mentat. You did something to me last night? This was in a positive and playful way. I was already turned on at the thought of forgetting what had happened. I trust the man to honor my limits and do things I find arousing. And I know he would want to know any details about how my brain is processing this all...we both enjoy the analysis of what's happening during drop and play. Anyways, we text a bit, but I couldn't talk until later.

So I go about the rest of my day. My brain again redirecting any hard focus on what happened to other topics, which seems pretty normal given that I always have 5000 things going on in my brain. We finally get to have our call. This is all through video chat currently. We discuss alittle more about what the break through felt like, where I am at in remembering at the moment, which was still no memory.

Mentat then finally asked me to focus on him and gave the Recall command. It wasn't like movie or complete play by play of what happened. But suddenly I could focus and access those memories and feelings. I could remember the conversation before hand about memory play and if I would be OK getting naked during it. I remembered dropping, orgasms... The prompt to forget.. getting redressed while still in deep hypnosis. there was some further talk and play and another round of remembering to forget because I still had an inkling something had happened. He had also inplanted a trigger to feel it all again, and specifically to orgasm when I remembered, which I did as I exclaimed "you put a trigger to..." not sure how much of that got out of my mouth before I was overwhelmed with pleasure...

So yes I greatly enjoyed having my memories temporarily stolen. Even more so having them returned and then getting to discuss the whole thing with Mentat. We are both very smart nerds who find the discussion almost as hot and intriguing as the erotic hypnosis.

[kingarthurflourofficial]

January + Feb Book Roundup

since i'm not using goodreads any more and also my memory is shit these days gonna try keeping track here this year!

A Memory Called Empire 4/5 (sci fi, great worldbuilding, very interesting MC)

Hearts of Oak 4/5 (sci fi, lovely creepy worldbuilding and vibes)

A Wizard's Guide To Defensive Baking 4/5 (such a fun and thoughtful take on many tropes; lays the seeds for her later more detailed books)

A Rulebook for Desperate Rogues ? DNF; too many anachronisms in the first two chapters

Three Cases for Mr. Campion ? DNF; weirdly gross way of speaking about women

The Dangers of Smoking In Bed 3/5 (very good bordering on horror)

Some Desperate Glory 5/5 (everyone who told me to read this was right etc run don't walk etc!)

Murder in Williamston 2/5 (not half as fun as I remember them being - a little too formulaic and suffers from not allowing the characters to grow/develop)

Grave Expectations 4/5 (VERY fun romp of a book! unexpectedly made me tear up at the end)

The September House 4/5 (horror but the kind of horror i can take where the narrator really holds and carries you through it)

The Ballad of Sir Dinadin 4/5 (i missed these books! i love arthuriana and these are such good classics. sidenote this was the first ace rep i ever read as a kid and i'll always bless it for that)

The Princess the Crone and the Dung-Cart Knight 4.5/5 (LOVE the difficult subjects being navigated here and the interweaving of different source materials. especially enjoyed the heavily implied throuple at the end.)

Parsifal's Page 3.5/5 (honestly didn't really remember this one that well but went back to read it bc my love said it was their fave of the OG tales and i liked it better than i remembered! even if the whole Fisher King scenario still infuriates me just out of principle)

The Scholomance 4/5 (love a naomi novik)

The Last Graduate 4/5 (we love a naomi novik where the characters slowly start to learn to love!)

The Golden Enclaves 5/5 (okay completely forgot i hadn't read this which means this was a complete surprise and so was the CANON GAYS hell yeah naomi u got there in the end!!!!!!!!!!)

Perilous Times 2/5 (listen it was a great premise! let itself down by being far too heavy-handed and using a deus ex machina at the end)

A Strange and Stubborn Endurance 5/5 (very glad i forgot to check the warnings before i read this or else i wouldn't have but DAMN if this didn't cradle me very gently in its arms and carry me safely through the deep waters. absolutely would recommend)

10 Things That Never Happened 2/5 (thank you to Morgan @crimsonclad for listening to my rantings re: alexis hall's books in general but this, to me, was not one of his finest efforts

Gaudy Night 10/5!!!!!!!! (book of my HEART dorothy l sayers you will always be famous even if you insist on putting enormous swaths of foreign language text with no translation in your books)

Busman's Honeymoon 10/5!!!!!!!!!!! (Aupres de ma blonde!!!! ivy trailing in hair! crying over Bunter! damn said distinctly! the port wine!)

Clouds of Witness 4/5 (you do love the Duchess but Peter has not yet been Wilfred-ized and is more of a caricature than his true self)

Whose Body? 4/5 (same as above)

Detection Unlimited 3/5 (a fun Heyer detection romp!)

The Dark Lord of Derkholm 4/5 (I'd forgotten most of this one and really enjoyed re-discovering it!)

The Year of the Griffin 5/5 (stayed up until 3 ack emma reading this rip my sleep schedule but i simply love a group of misfit friends!)

System Collapse 5/5 (MURDERBOT my BELOVED)

Everything on a Waffle 5/5 (i love polly horvath SO much. she treats all her characters and their loves and griefs with so much gentle dignity.)

Lady of Quality 5/5 (this is a superb heyer. absolutely iconic)

And fic over 40k!

metagaming by esama (svsss)

after the storm by perennial (much ado about nothing)

sword in hand by Aesoleucian, leahsfiction (the untamed)

the exploration of a courageous heart (all this unexpected glory) by Stratisphyre (the untamed)

[nodutra19]

I've Been Mulling Over Utena (SPOILERS)

Alright, if you're watching Utena now or are planning to do so, skip this post cuz I'mma spoil, like the whole thing.

WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF SA, CSA, INCEST, AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE

A few weeks ago I finished Utena. I discovered it through one of Noralities videos, I think, and some time later ordered the Blu-Rays when they were on sale.

I really wasn't sure what I expected in all honesty. I had little to no preconception of it. I think by the time I got the Blu-Rays I'd completely forgotten everything Noralities or from whoever I discovered it had said; I even forgot about an old meme on my phone that puts Utena avis at the tail end of Communist.

I've been mulling over just what I experienced, and I think I have something of an interpretation of one element of the series, although I imagine the Ikuhara scholars have long beaten me to this conclusion.

I watched Noralities's video (don't bother informing me on drama or controversies, I'm too old to care about shit like that. I only care if they're bigots and have committed material harm, and I don't mean just property. If they're not like Vaush or any given alt-right YouTuber, I don't care) on Nanami since I really wasn't sure how to feel about her, and it definitely opened my eyes to things.

In my eyes, this series is very much about intimacy, particularly the ways our comprehension and expression of it can be warped to exploit us. Before Akio's sins are shown to the audience, we see Nanami's fixation on Touga, and one's response might be to either fetishize it or mock her and her behavior, but she's literally 13.

In a sense, a sibling is the "safest choice" of a "prince." Unlike the others bond in life, you don't have to forge it: the set-dressing is already there for you. There's a pre-established connection, especially if you're like Kazuo and Miki. It's an almost primeval love, a love one can stay in if they so choose, but like the chick they will only suffocate and die within its shell like the ageless members of Ohtori. This is at least from the point of someone like Nanami, and I say that as someone who was once similar to her.

I'm not going to get into details, but my abuser and I once played with such ideas. I 12, they 14. They shipped Ken and Minako from Persona 3, which should tell you everything. I was the "Ken" in her mind, and she did indeed infantalize me. Maybe I'm being too dramatic, but this was my experience. I was "into it," but shortly after we broke off, I came to realize how strange it was, and the whole sordid ordeal cast a shadow over me until I was 16. We started off as simply playing as siblings, me wanting a "Big Sister's Affection," and they a Little Brother to dote on, but things developed. I was pressured into dating, mostly through guilt-tripping, putting me in the position of a caretaker, as one who must clean the mess she makes, at one point her threatening suicide if I left, her cutting me off from my friends like all abusers do.

This was very much the theme in my experience.

The fixation Nanami has on Touga is the most explored and thus illuminates the disconcerting synchronicity the characters experience in their betrayals and troubles.

Kozue and Miki are a more disturbing mess of tangled intimacy and affection, and this could be attributed to the lesser age gap. Nanami can be curtly dismissed as a childish attachment, but the closer maturity between the Kaoru heightens how frightening such attachments can be, especially for twins. Their bond is embryonic, beyond primeval.

And by consequence of being like Nanami, this also means I was much like Tsuwabuki, a child who through unhealthy images disseminated in society comes to believe and perform ideals antithetical to his development, maturity, and health. Nanami, like my abuser, as Noralities points out, repeats the cycle she herself is blind to, and because her main example has been glamorous images of knightly princes at night and day atop pale horses eternally in love, specifically Touga, she unwittingly and subconsciously mimics him in her treatment of the younger compatriot who himself has been taught to tangle emotional and physical intimacy and perhaps even to suffer mistreatment.

Later on, Touga essentially assaults Nanami, and here Kunihiko and the crew clarify that what Nanami desires isn't sex or even romantic love. At first I was confused on what she wanted, but then an idea came: Nanami herself is confused because she's been confined to Touga and the imagery of men like him carved in stone and painted in art.

This has been me blowing out my ass despite how fancily I can write. I hope I was able to provide a long-time fan with some insight. I guess I've come to Nanami's defense, eh? I guess I was embarrassed of her because she reminded me so much of myself. Maybe that's her point.

Maybe I've been analyzing fantasms, I dunno, y'all tell me.

[entropy-game-dev]

Alpha testing, v0.09a & patchnotes

We’re so so close to the 10th alpha build of the game, and things have changed so much! But for now, let’s get into the playtest for v0.09!

My friend who has done the second-most amount of testing is great, I love how he plays! He gets so into the game, like, play-freaking out when enemies attack him, reading all the descriptions I’ve written, and dreading what nasty things each enemy might be planning to do.

Especially, I like that he goes and checks out the things he mentioned in previous versions - I totally forgot I addressed some of his comments like letting the cancel button automatically choose the “negative” option in a dialog - and he made sure to try them and was pleasantly surprised when he found that I had implemented his suggestions!

His playthrough was more focused on testing the overall game balance and progression, as I had changed the stat gain curve at the suggestion of my friend. I completely forgot I had hastily implemented a logarithmic curve, giving greater stat growths at earlier levels, levelling off towards the later levels. I did this in order to make early levels feel “good”, but forgot that I had finely tuned my stats in a linear fashion, so one got quite powerful too quickly.

This had implications regarding experimentation of party and moves - getting powerful enough, you didn’t really need to change things up for the most part. Now that I have changed things back to linear stat growth, battles were quite a bit more challenging, but not unfair, which I am happy with. I might need to up the damage of moves overall, however.

The thing is, my tutorials are still not properly working, and it’s a big thing I’ll be working on this week. So my friend went too deep into the first dungeon, not knowing that a) robots can be recruited, and b) lower floors are more dangerous. Therefore, he’d only be fighting a couple of battles before retreating to the ship, and didn’t collect many parts or units until I mentioned that to him over text. These are all things that should be popping up contextually, and will be something to work on this week.

There are also a couple of more minor game streamlining issues that will make the early game less of a slog, and it’s small things like these that are really only apparent when you watch others play your game. It’ll also mean the game will be nicer to stream and watch (?) maybe...

Anyways, thanks for reading my rambling, and the patchnotes for this version can be found below the cut as always!

v0.09a Features:

Added new tutorial when robot is destroyed

Now you gain 1 data per new thing interacted with

Fixed fuel cost for first trip to first area

Added back generic attack sfx for hitting players

Mouseovering minimap tiles say what feature they are

Field menu mouse controls...!!

Added miss text when you miss

Add up and down arrow animation to affinities on the unit stat page when they change

Added general data when not researching a project that gives a bonus to collected data when researching

Added new notifications at 25, 50, 75, and 100% research project completion

Scan now compares atk to def and the result of the scan is based on the difference

Allies can be moved around by routines now

Added routine summary text

Polish:

Made levelling up gain stats at a linear rate

Time synch now isn't castable on self

Upped data dropped for enemies

Encounter rate slightly lowered

Made faction enemies spawn at higher rates

Multiple steps in the same liquid won't display the same message

Re-added atk and hit text to the routines menu

Sector travel message doesn't fire if you don't have the research

Shader turned off at game over message

Removed debug text from tutorials

Made affinity labels hang around for a bit longer

Stopped text from having dynamic appearance speeds on the little label that appears during battle and exploration

Burst stat message applies once per person

Reduced and inverted AI scaling on moves that use HP

Charmed enemies have better AI

Scan reveals recruit info first, instead of stats

Made HP only appear once scanned

Stat panel only reveals stats if scanned

Put research results reminder on the collection screen

Astronaut now starts in slot 2, assistant in slot 4, because psychology of equipping parts

Removed red grid in columns 1 and 5 when in corridor

Aligned sector travel message in nav interface

Fixed timing of animations related to reflecting and conducting, added some extra metadata variables

Actually made damage do 1 minimum

HP value fades in with enemy

removed some debug message calls

Revamped room determining algorithm

Stopped input before field viewport is visible

Standardised element icons between fonts

Bugs:

Overfilled has the right icon

Minimap good/bad colours don't show anymore

Minimap refreshes after teleporting

Move label objects now despawn properly

Element burst now chooses an effect correctly

Tutorials for picking up parts now work

SFX of attacks now play

Stopped crash when enemy moves downward

Combining AI priorities fixed

Effects now appear on top of the enemies

Log chooser now doesn't choose empty log to view, crashing the game

Defend animation now showing on enemeies

Status effects now apply their elemental advantage properly

Stopped inspect option during core recruitment leting you see the ones in the inventory

Move enemy script won't move enemies randomly if a position is specified

Missing an enemy doesn't softlock the game now

Fixed affinity calculation bug

Stopped frame-perfect input to get into the equips window before the inventory has refiltered itself

Death affinity now always applies death through % buffs/debuffs

Row-wide random attacks on the party now display properly

Fixed stun/null affinity display on equip

Text colours fixed on element burst

[claire-starsword]

The Guardiana Magic School Run - Part 12

We begin Chapter 4 with more cryptid sightings.

And now some more promotion whining. Khris is up for promotion now, however, like Lowe, I can delay her until level 16 to get Heal 3 faster, at the expense of delaying Heal 4 until level 21 promoted. I already said I prefer doing that.

But Khris has another thing to consider, which is Aura. She learns Aura 1 at level 20, which means I could get it earlier by delaying her promotion even more, however that super delays both the aforementioned Heal 4 and Aura 2, which is all the way at level 28. I'm okay with that because I doubt I'd be getting to that level anyway

My actual worry is that she doesn't get to that level quickly enough and misses promotion only weapons. So while the initial plan is to promote her at 20, I might change my mind if I decide I need her attack more.

Whining done, let's explore my favorite town of Pao. We find a Long Sword, which Max still can equip despite being unpromoted, so I'll just carry on with him like this I guess. I could buy the Mermanbuster from the deals now and promote Max, but he's being super busted for now so let's maybe save money, I don't remember what things we might want to buy later on.

There are no new deals. The regular Weapon Shop offers us the Power Lance, which is stronger than the Power Spear, but weaker than the Elf Slayer so it doesn't matter for us. And then there's the Paralyzer… which is already a Vicar-only weapon. Uh oh. I forgot about this. Maybe this means the healers are already behind in attack but, I again don't think I want to risk them attacking in the next battle. Actually I'm very afraid of the next battle, I'm expecting it to end to current deathless streak.

To put some more pressure in, this shop will leave before the battle, so I have to make a decision now. I'm sticking to my plan of delaying the priests' promotion then, but I might reevaluate depending on how things go.

And that's it. The Pao train has moved on and so must we. We get to say hi to Kokichi and Vankar but can't even sell their weapons for profit right now.

The Raging Drum is an anti-artillery axe. We don't have axe users in this playthrough so that means nothing to us.

Anri is right. Look at all those enemies. They don't advance at once, they come in waves, but still gather faster than you'd expect, especially with us having only eight characters to attack. The terrain is also completely plain and wide, so it's hard to protect the squishy characters. If you don't recall, six out of my eight characters are squishy. There's a reason I expect to die.

We're also at a ridiculous distance from then so there's not much to do for now. I do wonder if I can try sticking a bit to the north or south and approach one side of his army first. I never tried before because I don't really think when playing Shining Force casually.

Okay so I goofed up and picked to go north, but there's barely any space to move around them here, there's more space to the south but i don't think i have the time to correct course when the wave of knights is coming behind them. I'm also unsure if these guys can be baited at all, since they're lining up in a pretty formation.

More importantly, remember when I said it sucks to not be able to see enemy stats before attacking them once? This battle is why. One of the lizardmen, the middle one i think, has the heat axe equipped, and deals way more damage. I would love to wipe that one first, but that means throwing myself in the very middle of their formation.

This battle sucks man I have no clue what to do here.

The lizardmen indeed do not advance easily, and the pegasus knights are basically already here. I wonder if they advance easily due to their movement, or if they'll stop somewhere as well. I'm honestly so clueless as to how to approach them that i might as well observe a little.

hell

The Silver Knights are also already coming and I have definitely messed up at this point.

Somehow I've managed to bait only a few enemies, but the lizardmen are dealing 2 damage each (without the heat axe!!), and baby, I'm deeply missing when that number was always 1.

and this is just horrifying

But if I'm horrified, Max is PISSED OFF about it. Please keep this energy man.

Tao gets in the range of enemies doing this but Gong will be able to cover her before any of them move. Will he survive? That's the question.

All I can say is that no one will survive her. Sadly this thing is 8 MP so she has like, three uses of it. Definitely won't be able to save them for Elliot, I have no clue how I'm gonna deal with Elliot actually, I don't trust anyone escept Max to approach him, I'm starting to think I REALLY should have bought the mermanbuster.

Okay it does seem like I hit a sweet spot in this field by accident. Max and Gong defeat the remaining lizardman, and only a Silver Knight advances, and they're weaker than everything else here. A Dark Priest also comes to heal Max's counterattack on the knight, and I sure would love to wipe these guys out before they heal something stronger. I'll also save Tao's MP for stronger enemies.

Max defeats the priest, Gong attacks the Silver Knight, but I'm too scared to advance anyone else! And I was right, because the Heat Axe guy finally comes:

If they did a second attack, we would have been toast.

There has to be a smarter way to do this fight but man, I don't know it.

At least Tao gets to solve the problem.

As seen by another patented Arthur Level Up, everyone gathers to defeat the previous wave of enemies, even though Anri is at reach of enemies now and I hate it, thankfully they are obsessed with Max as usual.

Now that the Super Heat Lizard is gone, the pegasus knights are by far the bigger threat (28 attack against 22 and 20 from the lizardmen and silver knights). Unfortunately there's two of them while Tao only has one more Blaze 3, but I'll use anyway, I suspect Elliot is resistant to magic. Most bosses are.

I legit don't know what I'm gonna do about Elliot :')

Next turn. We're alive! Somehow! Even though I risked Anri in front of the Silver Knight and Arthur did The Exact amount of damage to finish them off, nothing more, nothing less. The final enemies refuse to advance, so I finally have some attempt at positioning.

And by that I mean let's just send Max as usual.

After two turns in which Max and the knights decide to be the spiciest lads and trade a bunch of counters and double attacks, we wipe out everyone at the center. Hurray. Now I cannot avoid dealing with Elliot any longer.

I'm hoping to bait the enemies without Elliot, bosses don't move much.

I cannot complain, enemies are obedient in this game.

Also, check out this sweet attack boost from Gong!

Will he advance if I do this? I considered doing it with Max before the classic issue of "oh no what if I lose the whole battle" popped up, so yeah, sorry Gong as usual.

He survives with more than half HP!

He counters!

Alright this should mean Max also survives, so screw strategy, throw everything in this man.

I'm worried about counters though, bosses do A LOT of that in this game, so let's start with Supernova.

It might also be doing more damage.

So yeah, it turns out he only has 10% magic res, so saving Tao could have been useful, but things still work out despite Arthur missing a hit. Anri even gets the kill, which is exp she needs.

And then we get something even better. Narsha. Who you don't get to see because I hit image limit, my bad.

And I just realized our team members don't end there. There's Domingo!

We're ridiculously close to have a full team, we're at 9/12 characters.

My power is also dangerously close to going out rn, so I'm saving for today.

___

Note: the above was played a few weeks ago. The power indeed went out in the next minutes due to a storm, but thankfully it was all fine on our side.

I do need to add something now that the threat of power outage isn't dangling over me, though. This has been a way easier challenge than i initially expected, which is kinda nice as it means i've learned to play the game better, but also kinda boring for a challenge run. And I don't see this changing for now, the next battles in Chapter 4 and 5 tend to be easy for me even on casual play, with a difficulty spike only in Chapter 6.

I've even been feeling a bit unmotivated to continue because of that, so I might make simpler posts for those battles compared to how I've done things so far. Obviously that'll change if something exciting does happen, but I figured I'd give a heads up for this possibility.

Losses: 0 Deaths: 2. Somehow.

[chellyfishing]

okay let’s do the videos game i played this year

uhh obviously as per i played a stupid amount of ffxiv. like i don’t think i have a record of hours played this year nor am i interested in knowing. i did my first current tier savages this year though??? (right? that was this year? or late last? i think it was this year.) also farming exes while they’re still new and not crying the whole time?? who is SHE??? i was going to say this is the year i became a whm main but i think that personal tragedy happened last year actually.

i finished until dawn in april. i actually did... pretty well without a walkthrough, i did restart after i got the dog killed bc i felt so so bad about it (this is the kind of thing i think is understandable and acceptable) and then i had some ehhhh struggles with those final hold still QTEs to get everybody out before things exploded but otherwise i mostly made... okay choices?? FOR THE MOST PART??? i discovered later that there aren’t as many places you can get people killed as i thought tho so tbh i don’t think my performance was that impressive. anyway i enjoyed this game, the further along i got in it the more i had to play it in short bursts cause it’s uhh kinda stressful? and listen i don’t mind explaining to you that for me the fear is not in the monsters or the jump scares the fear is in messing up, the stress of getting someone killed because of my mistakes and my wrong choices and my inability to play the game right. horror means different things to different people and for me the real horror was in the imperfections we revealed in ourselves along the way.

okay i nearly forgot that i did play my switch for more than piddling around in zelda and mario and i did actually play another new release besides stray (see below) this year which was the stanley parable ultra deluxe back in april (or may?). i never played the original so i was happy to grab this and just spend a few days exploring it. i watched the ox kids play it and was amazed that with how thorough i thought i was i STILL missed a bunch of stuff! but they also missed stuff that i did. incredible. so fun and funny and when i had the bucket for less than ten seconds i already knew i would both kill and die for it. i think this is the only switch game i finished this year which, come on, self.

(i did play a lot of botw and mario odyssey this year i!!!! just haven’t finished them!!! DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!!!)

replays of resi 2 and 3 remakes as well as 7 and 8 in june because they all got ps5 upgrades and i got a ps5! i am like one or two trophies away from plat on all of them and i hate it!!! for 3 and 7 they’re the hardest mode (inferno and madhouse respectively i think) trophies bc there’s this stretch before you can get your good items from the item box that are just So Hard and you have to actually be good to get through them and i am not!!! for 2 it’s the stupid 4th survivor mode, again you have to actually be good. and for village it’s a couple of mercenaries mode trophies that i could probably get if i would just sit down and play mercenaries mode for a bit, i said i would do it when the dlc dropped and it has and yet here we are.

in july i played titanfall 2! wow this game was a lot of fun and a lot more emotional than i expected!!! if you followed me on twitter at the time you got to witness my emotional breakdown. i might revisit this someday to get more trophies but for me the fun i had in this was just kind of jumping into a short campaign and blitzing through it in a weekend without trying to be good or complete. i didn’t even really mess around with the collectables and i kind of don’t know who i’ve become as a person.

control also got a ps5 upgrade so i replayed that also in july to get the plat again. while i was at it i 100%’d both dlcs as well. i love this game!!! i love the setting, i love the story, i love jesse, i love the sense of humor, i love the other characters, i love how weird things are sometimes, one day i think i’m actually going to sit down and read all the documents because i HAVE THEM ALL (except like... one that you could only get with a ps4 preorder or something?? idk i forget, it’s not important) and i love the writing! this year we also got confirmation on the sequel and man. MAN. GIVE IT TO ME I’M SO READY.

i played journey to the savage planet... also in july! i had a lot of opinions about this game and i remember going over them a lot on twitter. i loved so much about it but there were just some things i kinda haaaaated. like there are some things about the way the game is mechanically that are so SO frustrating (there’s no MAP in the EXPLORATION GAME??) and i really just wanted to explore this weird planet and eat goo and look at new critters with one brain cell. i dunno! also no plat bc there are like 3 or 4 co-op only trophies. i think i got almost all the others, i’m missing like one in the main game, one in the dlc, and i think you’ll catch me dead before i try old game minus if i was already frustrated enough with the normal version of the game.

i played town of light in (checks notes) july and uhhhhh. this game is a lot! there’s not a lot to it mechanically, it is more or less a walking sim, and there are some aspects of the gameplay that don’t feel great, i remember being unclear on where to go at times and the game is not always great at letting you know. but the story. i was an absolute sobbing wreck at the end. like, so many trigger warnings, you guys, and i don’t think this is right for everyone, but if you think you can play it you should, or maybe watch someone else play it. it is... gripping, heartbreaking, very hard to get through in places, especially for people with certain lived experiences.

i played wytchwood in uhh mumblemumblejuly which is easily a new favorite game. it’s like a fairy tale where you play as a witch going through different areas and the main gameplay loop is finding items and recipes, crafting them to get more items to craft more to get more to solve story and environmental puzzles to progress the plot. the story is so fun and well-written, the graphic design and animation are beautiful, it is really the kind of game i picked up and INSTANTLY went “i love this already so much.” just so good and cozy and wholesome, i would recommend to everyone honestly. whitethorn is a new favorite developer. oh also if you like trophies this is an easy plat as you get all of them just playing the story.

i played tacoma and it was still the month of july. this is from the same people who made gone home, so if you liked that you may also like this. it is another walking sim, all though you’re in space so sometimes it is a floating sim. i loved the characters and the story, plus there is a cat that you can find for a trophy. it’s really good! however, fuuuuuck steve gaynor, and to my knowledge he still works at fullbright, so up to you if you want to give them your money.

obviously, i played stray when it came out in (checks) are you kidding me?! july?! this is the other new release besides stanley parable (and resi8 dlc if you count that) that i played this year since i usually wait for stuff to drop in price but this wasn’t that expensive since it’s an indie game and uhhh i wanted to play it!!! also it is goty! you play as a cat! you have a robot buddy!! i loved the world and the characters, and i cried so much at the end!! if you haven’t played it yet why!! what are you waiting for!!!

in some month that’s not even important at this point i played teacup which is another whitethorn game. it is a very very short cute little narrative game about a frog who wants to have a tea party with her friends. like this is just a game you sit down with when you want something so cute and cozy and you’ve already played wytchwood so many times. the kind of thing you could play with a little kid if you have one of them lying around. very pleasant and cleansing. also another slam dunk plat.

in OCTOBER the resi 8 dlc dropped and i played that, like stayed up all night when it released kind of played through it. i’m surpised that i haven’t already replayed it twenty times because i did like it a lot! i like rose and you know what some of the stuff in this is... genuinely kind of scary!! i can’t even look at the face-sucking animation it is so unpleasant. a lot of things in this game were doing a number on my trypophobia tbh. maybe that’s why i haven’t gone straight back to it. also the mannequins are scarier than the fetus monster, i said it and i meant it.

and last but not least this month (tbh started nov 30) i played tales of arise. my longer post on this game is still in the drafts haha. i guess i can talk about it a bit here tho. i... loved this game. i think my expectations were... neutral at best, ofc i didn’t love zestiria and while i liked berseria at the time i’ve never felt any particular desire to revisit it (this actually may be due to other factors that i’ll not get into atm), and i normally log literally hundreds of hours into tales games, so i guess i just wasn’t feeling optimistic about being impressed by it. and i was wrong!!! i really think this has some of the most mature character writing of any game in the series. normally the characters are like one half assorted disparate lol xd random quirks and one half trauma without the two sides melding very well but i felt that much much less in this game. there were things in the story writing i thought were pretty typical for the series and things that i really liked and appreciated! i ended up loving the characters, loving the way they grew as individuals, in relation to each other, and as a group, and i actually remember what happens in the plot which is uhhhhh a bit more than i can say for the last two games. also? voice cast was flawless, no notes, yeah even papenbrook, yeah i’m as surprised as you.

aside from that, i actually played my first real matches of both among us and overwatch this year and had a lot of fun. LOST BIG HARD in overwatch every single time sorry team i was drunk and wouldn’t have known what i was doing sober. oh but i did get most damage blocked as reinhardt (had to look his name up) in one match!!! also winning a mungus match with @foxxxy--mulder as my co-imposter against a team of hardened vets who ate each other alive for us is one of my most cherished gaming memories of the year. i hold it close to my heart and think of it often.

stuff i’m looking forward to next year: 

resi4 remake obviously!!! i pre-ordered it immediately i’m SORRY i know pre-ordering is BAD i never do it but resi is an exception!!! and it comes out on my BIRTHDAY!!!!

oxenfree: lost signals! i know it was supposed to be released this year and has been delayed a couple times which is... not a great sign. like i am PRO-DELAY don’t get me wrong!! i’m glad to hear it for a lot of reasons!! it’s just usually when you hear stuff get pushed back... more than once it’s a little worrisome. however i’m still excited for it and hope for the best!

horizon forbidden west--yes obviously this doesn’t come out next year, but i will almost definitely be playing it in 2023. in fact it’s on sale right now for a price i don’t hate and i’m contemplating picking it up after i get paid, since ofc i’ve been aching to play this for months and months now.

hmm it seems there is a grimgrimoire remaster coming out next year. i will consider that seeing as i am a simp for vanillaware. (13 sentinels is another game i actually might get my hands on next year finally.)

OBVIOUSLY LOZ? when am i not looking forward to loz?? i am never not looking forward to loz.

MAYBE ffxvi. i’ve still not played a non-xiv ff game (YES I WILL PLAY IX AND WHATEVER THE OTHER ONE I HAVE IS EVENTUALLY SCOUT’S HONOR) but. they kinda got me with the primals in the teasers. i don’t know though. and actually even if i do decide to play it i won’t be surprised if this is a thing like forbidden west that takes me a year to get to because new AAA games are just so goddamn much money and i need to really really want something to pay that much for it.

while it has no release date and may not be coming out until at least 2024 rest assured i will be spending 2023 looking forward to hadesgame 2.

oh and pretty unlikely to be released in 2023 but that new IP from the bioshock devs?? i’m already in line for it.

with a special shoutout toooo all the games i have that i haven’t played yet. when i’m feeling less anhedonic (dare to dream) i will once again try to get back to my goal of doing short games on weekends, at least.

[terris-mayweather]

Echo VN update #3

So. A LOT has happened since my last update. (Sorry for not keeping up religiously.) But uh we will go by what I remember item by item.

Fuck the crawlspace. Place is fucked up son. Which I mean 'Terry, it's a horror VN literally what did you expect?' To that random citizen I say you are right! I still hate it though. The horror elements are ever so slowly ramping up. This gradual build really has me worried literally EVERY not so wholesome scene.

Speaking of not so wholesome scenes: YO JENNA WHAT THE HECK?! Look I could see your perspective. You came from the worst home life ever and everything was awful, and Carl wasting his amazing life triggers you. I get it. You do NOT come after our boi Carl like that. This birthday scene was a fucking disaster. Omg. There was one (1) good thing about this. Flynn not being the absolute worst ever, with a thoughtful gift to Carl. (Ho-ho, what LAYERS are there, my friend?) Leo is trying so hard it's sweet. But at the same time, oof. He is trying too hard. And THAT is a red flag. This friend group is so broken... But I like the dynamics we're exploring.

Speaking of dynamics... OMG FIRST KISS WITH CARL!!!! It was quiet, shy, a little awkward, and SUPER sweet. I wonder what the results of this will be though... He was drunk... Although he did later on explicitly admit to Chase to ye didn't label his sexuality? So you know. There's something there. Haha! Yes, quite "queer" there Carl. XD

RAVEN?! Who is this mysterious new emo wolf?!?!?! I didn't expect a new character seemingly so much later on! And on that note, I wonder what this 'circle' motif is, that keeps on being brought up? And I wonder if that means at the "end" of Carl's route if we are going to end up looping back in time to the other route choices or if the choices we make for each route impacts the other ones? I hope so! It would make the game have a lot of interesting layers. But if not, and we just need to load up from the route choices, I wonder if OUR perspectives change and shift from what we find out? It would be a shame to be a "one and done" route kinda' deal. But we will see.

Besides that, I didn't know what a window well was until today, and I really DIDN'T need to know. That fucking knocking was creepy as shit. Q-Q

And again with the spiders!!! Which we apparently hallucinated... Eugh. I am so worried. I never read something that has a slow but constant build up like this. =/

It's stressful as hell. And can I just say, we kind of suck ass coming down for the week to hang out with the group and more than half of the week we just fucking ditched them and hung with Carl! I mean don't get me wrong - I love Carl but we are seriously being inconsiderate. @-@

Anyway... That's all my thoughts for now! Creepy haunted mansion for the win!

Edit: AND OH SHIT DUKE THE WEASEL!!!! Just like the game itself, I also completely forgot about THAT entire thing with this weasel. Wtf was THAT about? A completely lucid man (NOT TWEEKING) pointing at Chase like that? And he was clearly having some stress. Like what the fuck dawg? That in and of itself is terrifying.

[theadventurerslog]

King’s Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder | Part 3

The Adventurer’s Log

King’s Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder Part 3

Time to deal with a witch, deal with the town's assorted issues, get some ant pay-off, and cross a mountain.

Now I had the protective amulet it was time to go into the forest and finally deal with that witch. She was quite put out that her magic didn't work and we ended up at a bit of a stand-off.

For fun I tried offering her some of my items like the custard pie. She wasn't terribly impressed, saying "Don't try to bribe me with that, dearie! I'm not dumb, you know."

With my bit of goofing around done, I dealt with her as you're meant to: the bottle with the genie. The witch looks at and opens the bottle and out pops the genie and she meets the same fate as Graham when I'd tried to open it last session. After 500 years the genie is free at last and now it's time for the opener to be trapped for 500 years instead, so in she goes and they both disappear. Problem solved. Until a few centuries down the road I guess?

I examined that tree and while there was a little door thing, it was locked and I couldn't do anything about it. Yet. Remember this!

With the witch gone, I was able to more freely explore and I came across her home.

As dangerous as it looks it's all pretty safe now, though I didn't put any effort into seeing if you can fall off anywhere. Inside her home I found a small gold key, a fancy spinning wheel, and a pouch of three emeralds.

Everything was all well and good except there was seemingly no way out of the forest.

Or is there?

Those little eyes in the shadows there actually belong to little elves. If you toss out one of those emeralds, one will jump out and grab it. Graham makes a motion to try to catch him but fails. If you throw out all three emeralds you'll just lose them, so you need a way to trap one of those elves.

Good thing I helped the bees. If you use the honeycomb with the path, Graham will squeeze its honey out creating a nice sticky pool. Then you can toss an emerald into it, an elf comes out to grab it and gets stuck. Graham picks up the elf and they cut a deal: Graham lets him go, the elf will show him the way out the forest.

One of those boulders was a critter! Sadly, I didn't get to interact with it. It shuffles aside then hides back under its rock and won't talk or come out again.

The elf takes Graham to their caverns underground and then in return for the emeralds gives Graham a beautiful high quality pair of boots, claiming, that they always pay back what's given as if they don't just take all your emeralds and skedaddle if you don't trap one.

Still we have some nice, slightly too small for Graham, boots!

There's a route from the cavern back to the entrance of the forest and we're free much to Cedric's relief.

I started to head back to town and made it as far as the screen with the bakery when suddenly a rat comes running down the path chased by a cat. This is a one time opportunity that if you mess up will leave you soft-locked a little later. You gotta throw the boot that was found in the desert at the cat which then runs off. The rat, now safe, thanks Graham and promises to help him should he ever need it before hurrying away to go back to her children.

From here I went to double check my notes, only to realize I'd completely forgotten to look for the golden heart the witch stole from the princess. In a bit of a panic moment I reloaded a save I left at the witch's house, but I had already scoured it pretty thoroughly. Then I remembered the tree with the locked door. Yeah, I forgot that. Thankfully, back to my newest save I was able to just walk back and unlock it with the small gold key and there was the heart. I was a little concerned I wouldn't be able to get back to the elves' caverns to get out of the forest, but thankfully I was able to, although the elves were all gone.

I went back to the weeping willow and returned her golden heart. She transformed back into a princess and tossed aside the harp. It was a very pretty harp and she was just like 'nah, don't need that piece of junk anymore.' The prince shows up then and they leave together.

Well, if she doesn't want the harp, it's Graham's now!

At this point, I still had the cloak to get from the tailor, something to do with the shoe shop, the sled to get from the toy shop and a problem with getting captured at the inn.

From the willow tree spot I found my way to a grandpa gnome and his grandkid. I was able to give him the spinning wheel and in return he gave me a marionette. It's a special spinning wheel that spins straw into gold.

I wasn't quite ready to deal with the town things just yet. There was one more thing to get. Back to the haystack for a very special moment. Interact with the haystack and...

We’re the ants! Led by King Antony! We’re coming to help King Graham! We’re the ants! Led by King Antony! We’re coming to help King Graham!

Helping out the ants earlier pays off. The ants find a golden needle and King Antony gives it to Graham. This song gets periodically stuck in my head now. I think it and 'bugaloooo' are just gonna be those things that stick with me forever.

Now we're ready to go.

I went to the tailor first and traded the gold needle for the cloak. Turned out the tailor had lost it last time he'd gone to visit the inn. It would have been nice to have been told he was missing it in the first place, however. There are no clues given of any of this short of the old saying 'like finding a needle in a haystack.'

I brought the marionette to the toy shop where the owner was most impressed and traded it for the sled, though thought he was getting the better deal here. Graham was okay with that though.

Then the shoe shop. I gave them the pair of boots from the elf, and it was the best pair the old couple had ever seen and they'll be ready to retire off of selling it. They gave me a cobbler's hammer since they won't be needing it anymore.

And finally the inn. The innkeeper and his thugs discussed their last job until Graham interrupts and they capture him. Graham is tied up in a cellar and can't get out of the ropes. This time, however, the rat we saved from the cat shows up to chew through the ropes.

The rat is happy she could help and runs off again. I scooped up the rope of course, but the door is locked with a rusty padlock. The cobbler's hammer is needed here to break the padlock, so if you do this place before or without the saving the rat you're hooped, and if you do it before helping the shoe shop owners you're still hooped. So many softlock opportunities!

Anyhoo, the door leads into a kitchen where I found a leg of lamb in a cupboard and was able to take a side door back outside.

That was everything I needed so I started to head back to the path that leads into the mountains, but first I came across the area where the gypsy camp was. They've moved on now, leaving an empty clearing except for a tambourine. Of course I scooped that too.

Now there's a healthy inventory.

It occurs to me that I may have forgotten to mention that Crispin gave me his old wand. Well, there it is. It's been useless for now anyway.

The tambourine is used to scare off the snake guarding the path. Then it was onto the snowy mountains.

Better put that cloak on or you'll freeze in time. I'm not sure how fast it happens and I should have tested. I missed a death opportunity for shame.

The next screen led to a cliff. There were some tree branches sticking out of the cliff face and I tried attaching the rope to those, but once you start climbing the rope the branch breaks and you die. I got briefly stuck here before finding there was an outcrop of rock I could use the rope with instead.

Then there were some stone platforms to jump across.

I thought if I pointed at the stone he'd jumped across. No... he fell and died. Have to use the action verb on them to get him to jump.

The fun doesn't stop there. After crossing this area into the next area, a wolf shows up! And grabs poor Cedric and slides away down a hill with him. There's only one thing to do now!

Die from hunger.

The game does warn you Graham is getting hungry. I just pushed it.

After reloading and eating part of the leg of lamb now it's time give chase.

Wheeee!

He launches off the end and the sled breaks on impact but Graham is okay other than disgruntled at the sled breaking.

The path continues. I could see an icy stony sort of palace in the distance and closer at hand was an eagle. The poor thing was starving and couldn't even fly now. I gave him the rest of the leg of lamb and he thanks Graham before flying away. Yes, if you don't help the eagle you'll be softlocked a little later.

I started to approach the castle when two wolves came out and escorted me the rest of the way. Graham was brought before Queen Icebella. Cedric is locked in cage.

We're intruders in her land and she starts to have the wolves take Graham away when you're given the opportunity to do something. Play the harp! The beautiful music warms her frozen heart, just a little, and she's willing to give Graham and Cedric a chance if Graham does something for her first. A yeti has invaded her crystal caves and if Graham can take care of that she'll let him and Cedric go. She sends one of the wolves, Sir Greywolf, to escort Graham to the caves.

So. Yeti time. If you talk to Greywolf Graham wonders how he can handle a yeti that's surely at least twice his size and far more powerful. Come on, Graham, you've dealt with a dragon and a giant among other things. This shouldn't be that big a deal.

Greywolf has nothing to say in particular, not his problem so it's onto the caves and yeti shows up.

"What an abominable situation Graham has found himself in."

Of course I had to die once.

There's some time while the yeti approaches to do something. An inventory of items, but what can be done?

It's... it's custard pie time.

Use the pie on the yeti and Graham throws it at its face. The Yeti paws at it and in its stumbling... falls off the cliff.

Pie truly does solve all problems. And that's why you can't eat it back went you got it. Eat a pie; be doomed to a yeti. This is apparently one of the more infamous puzzles and...yeah.

I poked into the caves which are indeed full of crystals. With the hammer I was able to take a bit of crystal before I went back to Sir Greywolf and was taken back to Icebella.

She stays true to her word and releases Cedric. Sir Greywolf took us back to the path that led to the ice caves and there's another path we were able to take. Can't go back to see Icebella though. Sir Greywolf blocks the way.

Further mountain traversal led to a winding path going up and Graham almost makes it when a giant bird swoops down and scoops him up! I guess if Cedric had to be snatched earlier, it's only fair Graham meets a similar fate?

Graham is dumped into a nest with a giant egg. There's a gold locket which of course I grabbed. Priorities here. then the egg starts to hatch releasing some very hungry birds .

Things were looking real bad for Graham here, but never fear! The eagle we helped before shows up and carries Graham away dropping him off on a beach where Cedric is waiting. If you didn't help the eagle, Graham is doomed to getting eaten...

Cedric couldn't find Graham anywhere but is relieved to see him now!

I took an old metal bar off the beach and stopped here.

It was quite the journey over that mountain, but we're getting ever closer to Mordack's castle! Of course there'll be more adventures along the way...

--

Points: 158/260

Deaths: 24

Time: 3:26

[rayatii]

The continued adventures of my Sims; we are getting closer and closer to the actual plot of the opera!!

Whoops, I forgot to make the doors of the mansion off-limits for horses 😂 (I eventually fixed it!)

Struggling a bit, are we, Adina?

Let's go, faster than the wind!

Adina later discovered that she likes horseback riding. So it's official: Adina operacharacter is a horse girl confirmed!!

Awww, looks like Sanook has taken quite a liking towards Atalanta 🥰🥰 (despite the fact that, ya know, that is literally a horse inside a kitchen.)

Adina and Nemorino's first time seeing each other in YEARS, and the first thing they autonomously did was hug 🥰 Their bios show that they're STILL besties 😭

Awww :)

Now that she has plenty of time on her hands, Adina has been focusing on advancing in the Serial Romantic aspiration, including by kissing 10 Sims (which can include hand kisses, but I didn't find that out until later). Here she is making a move on the grocery store guy in Finchwick, who closed his store just to continue his convo with her.

(She's not a Don Giovanni, but one might say that she's sort of exploring around, bc she doesn't make any false promises of commitment.)

Belcore, in addition to working his way to becoming a sergeant, is ALSO working on advancing in the Serial Romantic aspiration. Here he is with his third Cupid's Corner date, Miriam.

I have found that playing Woo-Who?! makes the "courting" process much easier, as it reveals the other players' turn-ons and turn-offs.

Advancing in the 3 first kisses goal.

I looooove Adina's Sexy Witch™ costume 😍 I wish it was one of the options for wearing costumes outside a Spooky Party... (Adina organized a Spooky Party for her friends for Hallowseve Day, which has remained on the calendar autonomously, and is now making another white cat Jack O'Lantern.)

And of course, Nemorino showed up dressed as a pizza delivery guy 😂 Somehow this sums up the opera itself...

Awww, autonomous besties :) (this kinda defeats the purpose of the opera, but whatever.)

lmao, Cassandra Goth and Savannah Price decided to fall asleep on the floaties in the swimming pool, despite the cold weather 😂

Awww, two furry friends getting to know each other 😭

The following day, Adina organized a dinner party for Harvestfest for her tenants (with a tofurkey rather than a regular turkey, bc Giannetta's dad is vegetarian).

aww Giannetta's mom being nice to Principessa. It's rare to see guests being nice with her (*flashbacks*)

Enjoying her mom's fancy aquajet bathtub 🛀

And here she is putting the moves on her childhood neighbor, Imran Watson.

An enchanting introduction for Malcolm Landgraab! (still on her serial kissing mission.)

Atalanta didn't seem to be getting along very well with that random rabbit...

A romantic introduction (different from enchanting introduction) for Mark Eggleston from the Eclectic Arts Household! (the roommate of Leslie Holland, who fought the Mother Plant alongside Dulcamara after he cured her. Also, they moved into San Myshuno and adopted a little girl named Victoria. I like the idea of a child being raised by a group of roommates. Not that it would legally happen irl... 😢)

Duane, you're ruining the moment. (Also that is Luna Villareal that Belcore met on Cupid's Corner, the sister of Hugo Villareal, who was Adina's first boyfriend.)

lmao Adina is washing her hands with her gloves still on (I neglected to have her change from her cold-weather riding habit.)

Also, I got her to go on a date with Tane, and they're now officially partners, but not for long (she has to have had 8 romantic relationships and 3 gold dates to complete the aspiration.)

(oh, and Adina's family's former butler Dominik has unfortunately died 😭 (read it on Neighborhood Stories))

Anyway, I uploaded the young-adult version of Giannetta's family on my gallery, in case anyone wants it.

[drkdreams]

Forgotten Orgasms

Reposting from my fetlife

Trigger warning for hypnokink content don't read if you don't like that.

I forgot I had orgasms.

Not all orgasms just a few specific ones.

Ones it was predetermined I would forget.

And predetermined how I would remember them.

Brains are interesting. I find the highest form of arousal and intimacy for me involve mental stimulation. I've been playing with a hypnotist, Mentat, for alittle over a month now. It has been incredibly hot, and now as we are beginning to feel more comfortable, we are starting to explore and try some new things. With discussion on consent before hand, and a post mortem discuss on how things felt afterwards.

Two nights ago we decided I would forget the session. Usually he is very careful to make sure I remember everything. This time the goal was forgetting. So after dropping, and floating, and falling, and orgasming for a while. I forgot it happened.

Now my brain, my subconscious, is a sneaky lovely bitch, because she knows how hot I find this all, and so she went along with it. My brain dismissed lingering thoughts, small inconsistencies that pointed to we had played. Redirected thoughts so I couldn't focus on what happened... I cleaned up and went to bed thinking I had just been turned on during the conversation, even though I never dropped.

It was midday the next day when there was a small crack in the wall holding my memory. I was deeply focused on work, heavy mental cross checking of investory numbers, when I got a few sudden flashes of images and words spoken and a small waves a pleasure. But I couldn't chase the memory. It was there and then gone. I tired to focus and remember but it was no where. And it wasn't another memory. It felt different. So of course I text Mentat. You did something to me last night? This was in a positive and playful way. I was already turned on at the thought of forgetting what had happened. I trust the man to honor my limits and do things I find arousing. And I know he would want to know any details about how my brain is processing this all...we both enjoy the analysis of what's happening during drop and play. Anyways, we text a bit, but I couldn't talk until later.

So I go about the rest of my day. My brain again redirecting any hard focus on what happened to other topics, which seems pretty normal given that I always have 5000 things going on in my brain. We finally get to have our call. This is all through video chat currently. We discuss alittle more about what the break through felt like, where I am at in remembering at the moment, which was still no memory.

Mentat then finally asked me to focus on him and gave the Recall command. It wasn't like movie or complete play by play of what happened. But suddenly I could focus and access those memories and feelings. I could remember the conversation before hand about memory play and if I would be OK getting naked during it. I remembered dropping, orgasms... The prompt to forget.. getting redressed while still in deep hypnosis. there was some further talk and play and another round of remembering to forget because I still had an inkling something had happened. He had also inplanted a trigger to feel it all again, and specifically to orgasm when I remembered, which I did as I exclaimed "you put a trigger to..." not sure how much of that got out of my mouth before I was overwhelmed with pleasure...

So yes I greatly enjoyed having my memories temporarily stolen. Even more so having them returned and then getting to discuss the whole thing with Mentat. We are both very smart nerds who find the discussion almost as hot and intriguing as the erotic hypnosis.

[umichenginabroad]

Classes, routine, and...a giant puppy?

Week 2

So far, it's been a busy and eventful two weeks here in San Sebastian! I've met a lot of people, gotten accustomed to my way around town, and have started to settle into my routine for the next 8 weeks. This post will mainly be dedicated to my university schedule and daily life (but also some fun tidbits from the week thrown in as well).

School Life

Since my program is a research internship, I'm here for a longer period of time than others. Up until this point, a group from Penn State was also here taking a 2 week design class, so a lot of the activities we did were with them as well. I'll be starting my research at some point this week because as of Friday, we just completed our Introduction to Research course. The course went over the basic principles of research methods, data collection/analysis, literature review, intellectual property rights, and more (you get the gist of it). For each lesson, we would have a different professor come in to teach it. I liked the way this was set up since it was helpful to get introduced to other members of staff from the university, along with having people we could contact later on for advice or resources. Class was everyday starting at 9am-11am, then a roughly 15 minute coffee/snack break, resuming from 11:15am-1pm. We would mostly have plenty of time to finish assignments in class, whether it was a hands-on coding lab or a short presentation to do. The schedule was another thing that I liked, since class ended in the early afternoon and we would have plenty of time to rest, explore the downtown, go to the beach, or go with the peer mentors to an activity they had planned. From the hotel where I'm staying, the walk is decently nice! I enjoy going on walks and this one is a comfortable 15ish minutes, which compared to walking across Ann Arbor's campus, isn't really that bad at all. I have some pics of the journey to class, and notice that the sidewalks are made entirely of tile, something that I thought was neat:

Also, the weather kinda fluctuates during the day. It can go from being really rainy in the morning to being bright and sunny by the time class ends (much like our beloved Michigan weather).

Meals

Before class, I eat breakfast at the hotel since we have this included with our housing. It's buffet style, so a wide range of options, and there's a cook who you tell your order to after choosing from what they can make (pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, etc.). Below is an example of a typical breakfast spread.

For the first two weeks, lunch has been included at the university's canteen. After class ends at 1pm, we take our lunch ticket to the cafeteria and can choose two dishes along with either a dessert, yogurt, or fruit. Everyday the options change, but usually there's some type of pasta, fish dish, meat dish, salad, or beans/soup.

Featured here are some ribs, a vegetable rice dish, vanilla pudding, and fries on the left. On the right are some fish empanadillas, a strawberry yogurt, and fries. From now on, lunch and dinner are on me. Because of this, I have my next topic that I wanna talk about:

Markets!

You won't find a typical Walmart or Meijer in San Sebastian; those types of places aren't really a thing here. Instead, smaller markets are the way to go. One of the first ones that I went to was called Todotodo Spar, and it reminded me more of a 7-11 but with a wider variety of products and fresh fruits. It's the type of store you would go to when doing some small shopping, like picking up a few items (in my case some conditioner since I forgot to bring some). On a larger scale, Super Amara is an upgraded version of that. An equivalent would be a Kroger, but the products sold are more of fresh/gourmet produce. It's all very reasonably priced, with a meat, cheese, and fish section, along with selling things like cosmetics and household stuff too. There are also a lot of independent fruit/vegetable stand shops as well. These are dedicated just for that purpose, but have to be eaten within the week because it's super fresh. I ended up buying a quarter watermelon from one and it was easily a top tier purchase. If you want the freshest of the fresh, go to a place like Más que fruta!

~ live, laugh, love, watermelon ~

NOW, onto some things I did this week so bear with me here we're not done yet. I surfed? Partially. More like got thrown around by the waves and a lot of seawater in my stomach. Still very fun though and would try again! Took a day trip to Bilbao for the Guggenheim museum. I keep trying to think of how to describe it and the words that come to mind are unique, eerie, odd, interesting, and puzzling? Modern art isn't exactly my favorite thing, I find it intriguing for sure and to each their own but there's much to ponder about in those exhibits. One of the larger exhibits featured spirals that you could walk through and it really made me feel like I was wandering through an acorn. It was also a little trippy. You're probably wondering what I meant by puppy in the title of this post, well here's your answer...

Say hello to Puppy, the guard dog of the Guggenheim!

and here's a guest star appearance of me from another exhibit which felt like I was inside of a christmas ornament.

Enough yapping from me, hope you enjoy following along with my adventures!

In the wise words of a shirt I found at bershka, "Full inspiration today, periodt"

Emily Dobao

Biomedical Engineering

IPE San Sebastian, Spain

June 2nd, 2024