#which ik its by american standards but i am just a white american boy so i cant claim culture as an excuse

[daffodi1]

Genuine question, not meant as rhetorical or anything. Ik dismantling the gender binary is important and all, and I'm all for it as well as getting rid of gender roles. And I know that like, even if the gender binary isn't a thing, medical transition will exist regardless (or at least I hope so, bc I would not have survived this long without it even if my gender identity wasn't a problem). But like... if my identity as a man is important to me, how am I supposed to reconcile that? I know I shouldn't be fixated on any identity period and that I should probably just accept that regardless of gender, I am Me, but being a man has kinda been my shield against people just deciding I'm a woman and being done with it. Like, despite all of my feminine traits and interests, if I'm a man then I'm a man and they can't argue with that. And I guess I'm worried that if I don't have that anymore, I'll have nothing preventing people from just deciding I'm a woman. And maybe that is my problem-- maybe I should not be so opposed to the idea of being a woman but I can't help that I hate it when that's what every transphobic person has tried to shove down my throat all my life. So if anyone knows how to like... stop worrying about it, I would appreciate it bc I genuinely don't know how I'd be able to survive in the society we're supposed to want.

[walcutt]

i was tagged by @eruditetyro for this

1. Nicknames? 

None

2. Gender?

i dont really have an identity im comfortable with at the moment, but ive stuck with he/him in the meantime while i sort things out on that end

3. Star sign?

Leo

4. Height?

5′10″

5. Time?

9:50pm

6. Birthday?

august 15th

7. Favorite Bands?

I’ve always loved okkervil river, the national, and arcade fire. i’ve also been digging yo la tengo recently

8. Favorite solo artists?

I don’t listen to many solo artists, most of the music i listen to is groups

9. Song stuck in my head?

ive had parts of deeper into movies and the story of yo la tango, both by yo la tengo, stuck in my head lately

10. Last movie I watched?

I think it was kubo of the two strings, but it might have been a documentary on bottled water

11. Last show watched?

I watched preacher with my family when i was at home–its been a couple weeks now though

12. When did you create your blog?

fall of my freshman year, which I think was like october 2011?? what the fuck its been that long?

13. What do I post?

posts. i dont really classify the stuff i post i just sorta feel it in an ad-hoc sense

14. Last thing I googled?

the roanoke star, because a friend of mine didn’t think it was real

15. do you have other blogs?

i have some hoarded urls but otherwise no. one of these days, when i get more active and consistent in game development, i might make a sideblog (maybe moving my current url to it bc i like it as a name/identity, but i dont know for sure)

16. Do you get asks?

not super often, but i also dont send many and so its understandable . we are part of the problem

17. Why did you choose your url?

I was feeling super nostalgic one day right after graduating high school, and i felt like i was losing a lot of the parts of home i liked. and so i chose the name of a street on the way to an old friend of mine’s as something to hold onto i guess

18. Following?

239 people, probs only 2/3 of them are active tho lol bc ive never cleared out old ppl

19. Followers?

461, again with questionable amounts of active people

20. Favorite colors?

pale blues & deep greys

21. Average hours of sleep?

It’s actually been about 8-10 lately. iml ike the only person who sleeps better at college than at home

22. lucky number?

BB(17)

23. Instruments?

I play ukulele with pretty mediocre ability, but its more for fun than being any good anyways. I have a tenor and a baritone with me

24. What am I wearing?

standard white boy college in the summer outfit of graphic tee + khaki shorts, because honestly there’s no fashionable options that have any semblance of being reasonable

25. How many blankets do I sleep with?

usually just a comforter and a sheet. id like more but unfortunately i get super overheated if i sleep with like, any more,

26. Dream job?

no job. but honestly i’d like to be in game design/game development for a while at least, while im still young enough to manage the hours

27. Dream trip?

a long, unstructured backpacking trip in the appalachians would be ideal. maybe with some close friends but not necessarily, some quiet would be equally nice

28. Favorite food?

Pasta with (good) sauce. bad sauce is all too common at my school’s dining halls tragically

29. Nationality?

american, my dad’s side is italian but i’d be like a 4th generation immigrant so it’s not really of any significance

30. Favorite song?

Oh Man. Oh man. i have a lot at any given time. Here are a few recommendations:

Deeper into Movies and Black Flowers by Yo la Tengo

The Trapeze Swinger and Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron and Wine

Unless It’s Kicks by Okkervil River

The Collapse of the Great Tide Cliffs by The Dear Hunter

most of my friends on here have already been tagged but if u see this and want to do it. i honorarily bestow upon u the honor of tagging