#and the thing is like... i AM feminine. i cant help that

[daffodi1]

Genuine question, not meant as rhetorical or anything. Ik dismantling the gender binary is important and all, and I'm all for it as well as getting rid of gender roles. And I know that like, even if the gender binary isn't a thing, medical transition will exist regardless (or at least I hope so, bc I would not have survived this long without it even if my gender identity wasn't a problem). But like... if my identity as a man is important to me, how am I supposed to reconcile that? I know I shouldn't be fixated on any identity period and that I should probably just accept that regardless of gender, I am Me, but being a man has kinda been my shield against people just deciding I'm a woman and being done with it. Like, despite all of my feminine traits and interests, if I'm a man then I'm a man and they can't argue with that. And I guess I'm worried that if I don't have that anymore, I'll have nothing preventing people from just deciding I'm a woman. And maybe that is my problem-- maybe I should not be so opposed to the idea of being a woman but I can't help that I hate it when that's what every transphobic person has tried to shove down my throat all my life. So if anyone knows how to like... stop worrying about it, I would appreciate it bc I genuinely don't know how I'd be able to survive in the society we're supposed to want.

[lionblaze03-2]

sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.

[medicasino]

ive just accepted im just never going to fit cleanly into any label or community ever

[girlscience]

anyone else feel like they are playing dress up all the time and no matter how you present yourself it's always wrong? or is that just me.

[dunmeshistash]

like every girl kui draws is pretty! every man she makes is good looking! I am in hell! A+ character design to be honest, somehow im attracted to like every character she draws even outside dungeon meshi

I LOVE how Ryoko Kui draws, her understanding of human and animals is very inspiring! Everything looks like they have so much love put into it, and it also feels like an "objective" view of what things look like if that makes sense?

Its stylized but it feels like a stylization grounded in reality rather than a stylization based on other stylizations. There's a subtlety to her designs that make them all look so unique, you can really see it in the race portraits.

I really admire how few lines she needs to make people look slightly or WILDLY different, and all so beautifully done you cant help but fall in love with them. One I keep looking at is "the physiques of the ninjas"

I love that she decided to represent varying body types too! that's not usually something people think about especially in anime-style designs, they usually make the differences be clothing and face-shape but there's so much more you can use to make a character special and unique I think it's really inspiring.

Dia and Namari are other characters I've beem noticing more nowadays too. How at first you might think they have the same body-type since they're both dwarf women.

But Dia is shorter and slightly more chubby than Namari, who is more muscular, not to mention the different face shape and how Dia is more feminine than Namari and tha'ts expressed both in their designs and mannerisms <3

I could gush about Kui's beautiful character design all day

[doyouevenshipbr0]

examples of atla live action’s attempts to be more feminist and how they actually had the opposite effect and/or hurt the integrity of the show

already talked about katara and pakku. does not make sense that she did not have a master. point blank. just because something sounds empowering (ie katara saying “yes. and ur looking at her.” after zuko asked if she found a master) doesn’t mean it automatically is. there still needs to be logic and katara “being her own master” defies logic imo im sorry!

katara in general. she has no ferocity here which to be very honest i dont think is fully the writers’ fault. some of the blame goes on them but the actress for katara just delivered alllllll of her lines w the same exact mild tone. katara is overly motherly. she is bossy. she is passionate. she is nurturing. she is emotional. THERE IS POWER IN THESE THINGS!!!!! why would we take away her spark?!?!?!

i loved live action suki. however, i LOVE the line in the original when her and sokka part ways and sokka says “i treated u like a girl when i should’ve treated u like a warrior.” and suki says “i am a warrior” *kisses sokka on the cheek* “but im a girl too.” THAT LINE WAS SO PERFECT like lemme say it again there is POWER IN FEMININITY! there is no shame in that!!!!! why does this show wanna take that away so badly. at one point live action suki says something like “im not just a warrior, im a kiyoshi warrior” and before she parts ways w sokka she thanks him for showing her some of the world or something like that. which was fine but i just love the simplicity of the original. a girl can be a warrior and have a crush. why do we have to change that?

this is a small one and it doesnt REALLY matter, but i cant help but think they changed this to be more “feminist” which is just dumb. yue isnt betrothed? well she was but she broke it off? and hahn (her ex) isnt a huge dick? i mean it wasn’t the worst thing and i didnt really mind it but i was just kinda like ?????. feel like yue being betrothed tied into her sense of responsibility and foreshadowed the sacrifices she will make for her people. so. feels rly weird that they changed it. i think it was to show more women agency which is always cool. but in the original, yue finally gets her agency by becoming the moon spirit. that should be the end of her character arc. idk. a weird change that seemed unnecessary.

sokka not being sexist. honestly i think the live action did a good job at omitting this while not REALLY making it feel like something was missing. with that being said, something was still missing lol. once again, its apart of sokka’s character. i feel like everyone has already expressed their hate for this so ill just leave it at that.

i am a TAD indifferent on the women of the northern tribe joining the forces during the fight. on one hand i cant lie i smiled bc obviously i love water bending and i love women so there was definitely apart of me that was happy to see that moment. however. it was kind of giving like in endgame when theres that random shot of all the women superheroes in one frame so the movie could have a “slay queen. we are girlbosses:)” moment. like it just felt a little empty and it wasnt the feminist battlecry they thought it was. these women have been healing their whole lives. why would they be any good on the frontlines of a fight? they never learned combat skills! HOWEVER, when we see them, its mainly just them reinforcing the walls so like. that makes enough sense. im cool w that.

i know im dwelling but as we know i hold atla in the highest regards. it does a lot of things perfectly imo. and one of the things i think it does PERFECTLY is its treatment of female characters. literally the only thing i can think of that i dont like is when team azula beats the kiyoshi warriors and ty lee says something like “u are NOT prettier than us” NDBSKSJDJ like ok that was weird. but anyways. it irritates me how the live action kind of seems to have this pov that says “the original was good, but there were some ideas and plots that were outdated so we changed them to keep with the times” like they’re fixing something that was broken if that makes sense. when in actuality, i think atla’s representation of women is perfect and timeless. it was relevant and powerful in 2005, and it is equally as relevant and powerful in 2024. there was nothing about its feminist themes that needed to be “fixed” or “updated”.

[dragonstailbutch]

Hey sorry i am trying to like. find examples of what you mean when you talk about mra stuff and (trans)misogyny in forcemasc content and tumblr search has betrayed me once again, can you explain?

(sorry I normally wouldn't ask but I wanna make sure I'm not perpetuating anything!! Also fucking tumblr search!!! it is ridiculous!)

so ive been sitting on this ask for months since ive got it. i want to do it justice and try to take it at face value that its being honest in asking.

The thing is, theres this trend and a weird amount of effort to be like force femme, to be forceful and like its something to fearful of and give in to. But we cant do that, cause all that does is reinforce the idea that being a man is a toxic thing. I saw this post the other day where a transman talked about like, the whole "raised as a weapon" thing, the violence and horror of being a man and raised that way versus how they felt growng into it as a transman. How they wanted to reclaim that phrase or something? i could be misremembering.

But that was never the intent of forcemasc. It wasnt actually about being a dude, literally *forcing* someone who was unwilling into masculinity, none of the posts that i made that started the community (and yes i, a transfem butch woman, started and made this community and some of yall need to get over yourselves) were ever about that, it was intended to be a soft mimic or even a call to forcefemme.

i was all about making it soft and tender for a reason, cause if i didnt i was only reinforcing the toxic masculinity narrative, "men fighting in the mud" "men are dominant and cool" " to be a man is to be forced into masculinity and to be disgusted with the feminine" or whatever. When masculinity isnt about just men, and being butch isnt just being masculine. masculinity should also be sensitivity, not domination. i wanted it to be better, show a better side of what masculinity could be, what being butch is.

Ive spoken before a bit too, about the tags people used and added to forcemasc, and really maybe i was wrong in ever naming it forcemasc. people used and still use tags like autoandrophilia, autoandrophile, androphile, autogynephilia, androphilia, and autogynephile. Ive seen so many people with urls and tags and posts calling themselves transandrobros, literally calling themselves MRAs, as if that was something to be proud of, as if they dont understand that they arent fighting for their and our rights, they're fighting for cis-mens rights by using those names and terms, not transmascs/transmens rights. I can understand ignorance, but weve talked about how the words you use have history, especially those like the tags i mentioned and androphilia and androphobia and others, all of them have roots in deeeeeeeply misogynistic and transphobic people and history.

Literally all of these are awful and are phrases that arent and wont be reclaimed because theyre history is one of pain and hurting trans people, one of coercive 'help', literal forced detransitioning and reinforcement of MRA and terf narrative that men are both good and the worst creature alive and that to be a woman is to be disgusting and the purest thing all at once. That to be a transwoman is sick and we shouldnt be trusted.

Im trying to be very kind, not scream and rage, not because i dont desperately want to, but because if i do, as a butch transwoman, ESPECIALLY cause i claim being butch, people wont listen to me no matter how much of what i say is meaningful. one of the reasons why im doing this NO, instead of in anothr day or two, is that im coming to terms with the fact that the situation will just get qorse, not better without words.

Part of why im still sane is that ive gotten a couple asks here and there about how my posts and creation of the community has helped them and its so wonderful to see that, genuinely so amazing to see people recontextualize and love themselves. its wonderful and im so fucking happy about it.

i personally made this space so i could love myself, who i am as a trans person and my body, and i knew that other people needed and wanted that for themselves too and i wanted to help, share this love with more people. That to be hairy and chubby and masculine and butch was a nice thing. But to me it feels like it was coerced into being a thing for Men. A thing no longer for me or people like me who share the butch culture and name to no longer enjoy cause people unfamiliar with kink and tran history have decided that masculinity and butchness are the exact same thing. Id say people should go be a bear, but you wont learn their culture either and thats cruel and insulting to bears.

We deserve better You deserve better. Stop falling for the lies and hate. We beg you

[lilacstro]

pac: what do your tumblr followers think about your blog

this was a seemingly unserious silly idea haha, lets go. this actually is very not serious, so if you dont even have a blog, you can pick a pile, and if you have one but dont post much or dont have much followers, maybe its your sign that your account might match the description in some while. haha, regardless, enjoy<33

this reading is not for you if you are hate blogger or spread hate/misinfo through your account :/

paid readings are open :)

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

support me on ko-fi :)

Pile 1

Haha, it seems some of you could post a lot, and your followers do enjoy it. For some majority of you, you could also be into posting manifestation, self help related kinda content. There is an empowering and uplifting energy and some kind of strong feminine energy about your blog indeed. Looks like you guys actually might post a specific genre of content and your blog overall is quite organized. Some of you could also post about things like, spreading awareness on/donation links for gaza? or ukraine? or other such things, it was coming through, and your followers support you for choosing to post this actively. I also feel you maybe are kind of an old blogger? someone who has been on here posting for a while, some of your followers might actually like to read your posts when they are free or as stress relivers, in free times or look forward to your posts. I can understand this tbh, I also liked this one blog named something luciddownloading but i cant seem to find it, ig they activated their blog and it was super sad, I hope you all keep on posting, you should get the transaction you receive if you arent, and if your blog is doing well, it is possible that it gets even better. For some of you, if you are thinking about making money through tumblr somehow, it seems possible too!! all the best and I hope it resonated.

Pile 2

Some of you here might be beauty bloggers or actually post a variety of content, or have some quirky username haha but it seems you put a lot of thought in your blog. For some of you, you might have just started posting, or your schedule might not let you post as much as you like. Some of you might even be very non judgmental and post or reblog the things you like, your blog seems like a collection of things you like rather and not really following up with some specific aesthetic, but it still looks gorgeous. Some of you might also be into posting the blunt/honest truth posts/ unpopular opinions and I see your followers appreciate that. For some of you a message is, if you are holding back thinking what you should post/post how often or on what. just take a leap or action and start. Don't think about it too much, tumblr def needs one of your cute lil blogs even if you don't post something very big/important. Start and eventually you should know. Some of you also might do secret girl blogging lmao. your account has a lot of potential to flourish if it isnt already if you dont be pretentious and post what you really love honestly, whatever that is :)

Pile 3

Your blog definitely seems to have readers from all places or countries, for some of you specifically it seems like an astro-blog/spiritual blog. Some of you might have started recently too. Regardless of whatever, your account might see a lot of transaction if it isn't already or may actually see good engagement usually. You definitely seem to put a lot of hard work in your blog, I am getting specifically for explaining things or revealing things, and I'm strongly getting a astro/tarot/witchcraft kinda blog, some of you may actually also post random thoughts/feelings/poems kind of things that you end up saving on a pintrest board. There is a lot of scope for this being a well engaged account too. Your followers definitely seem to think your blog has a lot of comforty, earthy vibe to it haha. although most of you seem regular bloggers, just incase for a few of you im saying dont give up on your blog yet if you want to, a lot of people actually admire your posts and they will just keep on growing. your blog is well loved by people who come across/read it. so dont just go yet<33

thanks for reading a silly little reading. Have a good day <3

[official-darkforest]

i am SOOO unbelievably thrilled by your anthro au omg. do you have fashion ideas for the characters? like their favorite outfits, fabrics, etc? imo one of the best parts of anthro characters is deciding how they'd express themselves through their clothing :]

I HAVE A FEW ALREADY!!!! i dont have many specifics because theres so many characters ahd i havent drawn them all yet LOL but i'll share the ones i do have at least SOMETHING for

im also trying to keep these reasonable for the time period and location, as in my au the clan cats are mostly rural and in small towns set (mostly) before the 2000s so most may dress more modest and conservative (especially if theyre older and very religious)

squirrelflight - the best i can describe her sense of fashion is that it ranged from tomboy as a younger girl and is currently closer to a working class butch. im not sure if masc would be a more appropriate term since i dont hc her as a lesbian (shes bi) but she dresses "like a man" and owns a lot of jeans, slacks, and button-up shirts of all kinds of fabrics and patterns. she also enjoys bright colors as well, but as she got older her fashuon sense got a little more sensible and less "loud" like it was in the 60s and 70s. she also has glasses like her daddy once shes like 35 or so. she and firestar dressed very similarly, and a lot of her shirts and neckties are things she stole from his closet

feathertail - very feminine. hippie adjacent, lots of loose and flowing garments and jingly pieces. breatheable clothes and open toed shoes. her favorite swimsuit had some little frilly bits on it i think. often combines neutral earthy tones with blues and whites

crowfeather - lots of handmedowns from his father. clothes you can do farmwork in like jeans, overalls, hardy flannel/denim shirts and boots. never grew out of this and still dresses this way and he likes it

jayfeather - he looks like a modernized (as far as the 80s goes) version of his father - same hairstyle snd way of dress. he isnt too formal but does have some more preppiness to his clothing style (polo shirts and sweaters). he avoids full button downs since buttoning them himself jjust gets frustrating since he cant match them up every time. new wave band shirts. he also wears orange tinted glasses to protect his eyes (in this au i wrote that hes able to perceive shadows and light pretty okay, but not much else beyond that) And Kinda As A Fashion Statement cuz it goes well with his facial structure and hairstyle i think

lionblaze - hes like if the stereotypical jock and stereotypical 80s rock+metal enthusiast had a baby. muscle tees and bandanas, ripped jeans, those absurdly short shorts, crop tops, etc. he's a drummer i think if that matters LOL

ivypool - punk, also sorta like joan jett to an extent. very homemade, tho sometimes she gets lazy and doesnt really commit to the outfits all the way (but definitely has the mindset, dint get me wrong). one of those girls with a chest small enough to go braless 99% of the time; wears a lot of tank tops and sleeveless shirts LOL

bone/brick/scourge - just google "the outsiders movie" or "greaser" and you'll get the idea. tho i imagine these three in particular also have some kind of bare minimum formalwear scraped together from their escapades. theyre kinda like the jetts/sharks from west side story if that helps at all

daisy - she combines flowing, pretty dresses with a sunhat and work boots. she also teaches horseback riding and owns a few (its a business she runs w smokey and floss. i think its be funny if they were polyam ITS MY AU I CAN CHANGE WHAT I WANT) and she has horseback-appropriate clothing as well

poppyfrost - THEE preppy girl of the 80s. big hair, perm and all. dresses with pastel colors. her sisters cinderheart and honeyfern are pretty similar, tho i imagine honeyfern is a little more sporty and cinderheart takes inspiration from madonna once shes trying to court lionblaze

hazeltail - long haired country girl butch. enough said

spottedleaf snd cinderpelt are nuns lol

[youremyheaven]

How does sensuality work? I never understood (probably because I am way too stuck in the head). Sometimes I aspire to be honestly, though it doesn't come naturally unfortunately.

OMGGG I love this question 🤪✨😍

I consider myself very sensual 🥰🤪😜 and I realllyyy enjoy being in that energy 😌🫣🙈

First of all, lets begin by understanding what sensuality is and what it is not.

There is a world of difference between sexuality and sensuality. they're like night and day.

and you can be one without being another. because of the culture we live in, most people are sexual without being sensuous.

Sensual is understood as involving the five senses but also being sexually suggestive.

Sexual means relating to sex

Sensuality is more about enjoying yourself and life than it is about sexually pleasing or being sexually inviting. Sensual people seem more alive and vibrant because they truly enjoy the simple things and fine things, so they dont sweat the small stuff and usually maintain a calm and relaxed demeanour.

Sexual energy is more frantic, more wild, more aggressive. its very in your face and hard to miss. its someone asking you to give it to them, basically.

Sensuality is self-contentment and enjoying pleasure in all its many forms. be it food, music, dance, art, walking, looking at the sunset. A sensual person just enjoys absolutely everything. When you're in the presence of that energy, you feel similarly relaxed and open. They come across as warm, open and welcoming, its comfortable being around them. Someone who is fully alive will always naturally be perceived as "sexy" because they signal that they're open to enjoyment and pleasure.

All of these are subconscious impressions we form of people in nanoseconds, and whether we know it or not, we all pick up on energy and treat people accordingly. Why do we feel like being nicer to some people and standoffish with others??? its all down to the vibe. you can be a "good" person and still feel like you cant be good to some people who havent even done anything to you. its all just vibes.

I suggest reading Uses of the Erotic by Audre Lorde to understand this more. It's an essay and it's only a few pages long and she describes being erotic as a feeling of being alive.

pleasure activism by adrienne maree brown is another book i recommend on this topic.

now onto HOW to be sensual

Sensuality means being fully alive, open and vibrant. So in order to be sensual, you have to embody that.

You correctly said that you're too in your head and feel disconnected to sensuality because in order to be sensual, we have to get out of our head and into our bodies.

Sensuality necessitates forming a deep profound connection with our bodies.

This is why dancing is so sensual. just moving your body can feel so vulnerable but there is nothing as sexy or confident as someone who knows how to move???

there are many dance centered trauma release + "feminine flow" type activities. i know many of you get the ick from hearing things like "feminine flow" and i dont blame you lmao but being feminine, strictly energetically speaking means being relaxed, soft and flowing. thats Yin energy in Daoism.

dating in our era sucks because even men want princess treatment and it shows that Yin energy is def something that can be channelled by people regardless of gender lmfao xD

now many people have adopted a very harsh, aggressive "go-getting" approach to succeeding our toxic capitalist patriarchal world and whilst that might help us make some progress, we're constantly at the risk of burnout. so its in our best interest and for our long term well being to learn how to be chilled out and not sweat the small stuff.

think of Yin energy as the energy of being chilled out.

we can win and gain things by fighting for it but isnt it better to gain the same things in a softer gentler way??? you can work 200 hours a week, suck up to your boss and do all the extra work and someone else who does none of that will get 5 promotions while u get nothing. basically, life is not "fair", i.e, our efforts aren't necessarily going to be compensated for adequately and if you can get better results by doing less and chilling more, then whats the harm????

people who go far in life are often just people who are pleasant and fun to have around. look at any self-made individual and they'll have boat loads of charisma. whereas nepo babies wont even know how to hold a conversation bc they never had to lmao

anyways sorry for getting sidetracked (me everytime i talk lmao)

Do more body-centric activities to feel more connected to your body

this can be dancing, yoga, pilates or any exercise, or other hobbies like pottery, sewing, painting, basically anything you can do with the involvement of your body??? do that

they help you get out of your head and be in the here and now

being more present is like 50% of sensuality

and once you do things you care about more, you'll naturally shift to a place where you cut out things you dont enjoy and people you dont want to be around. youll enjoy life more. its all connected.

When you see someone with that raw earthy sexiness, don't they just seem so wild and free??

It's that. Someone who has that glow ✨

i hope this helped and provided some insights <333 i hope you get glowingggg <333

[saintjosie]

hi!! fanfic writing person here again :D

i've been looking at a ton of stuff and first like. damn i didn't expect me headcanoning a character as transfem to lead me down a rabbit hole where i now 1. have loads of random knowledge on transfem issues and 2. have a massive amount of respect for transfem people and understanding of the differences in experience of different trans people. wonderful actually. your stuff has been super helpful tysm

actual question! how do i go about using femininity as a marker of transition without falling into gender roles? do you think that's disrespectful? because like. wearing makeup, 'feminine' clothes, that kind of thing-- functionally no bearing on someone's womanhood. but those are, to my understanding, big hallmarks of transfem experiences. i don't want to say that wearing makeup or a dress makes her suddenly feel wonderful and pretty and solves all her woes, but i also don't want to downplay the significance of that experience. ideally, how do you think those should be balanced? basically how do i make her feminine without it seeming like a certain level of femininity is required to be trans.

generally, are there any experiences you think would be helpful to know? i'm writing a lot about her (currently two fics on different effects of HRT as an adult, and two on her gender being affirmed as a teen when she had taken basically no steps in her transition) so any insight is helpful. ideally what would you want portrayed in a non-transfem author writing a trans girl? idk!

i understand that these are very big asks so once again don't feel pressured to reply-- thank you regardless! generally looking at your content as a trans woman has been super helpful so thank you so much for sharing <3 best wishes!

"how do i go about using femininity as a marker of transition without falling into gender roles?"

you cant! but why do you need to? a core part of the trans experience is experimenting with gender, stereotypical or not. so many trans fems (including myself) start off by leaning very hard into stereotypical femininity because they are things that many of us have not previously explored. and then a core part of that journey is learning that there is no right way to explore gender. i spent years leaning into being femme until i realized i was more comfortable with a little bit of fluidity and androgyny. i think the most authentic experience would be to have her explore femininity, stereotypical or not, and then eventually coming to terms with how she is a woman outside of stereotypical femininity. two experiences that i think might be a good way to introduce this concept is one, the gender affirming experience of being included as one of the girls. there's a lot of nuance to that experience that people dont necessarily consider. there is the self doubt of, oh am i really one of the girls or are they just humoring me? and also for some there is the need to feel like they need to confirm to expectations of femininity, and leaning too hard into it.

second, the experience of experiencing misogny for the first time. i specifically say misogny because a lot of trans women have face homophobia and transphobia before they experience misogyny that validates them as a woman and for many people there can be this sudden awareness of how different the world is when you move through it as a woman. there is your typical run of the mill, this guy is a dick misogny but then there is also that experience of facing internalized misogny from other women. the experience of being told by cis women how to engage with femininity because a lot of cis women haven't deconstructed that for themselves is an experience that can be particularly hurtful because it is infantilization and misogny that is also incredibly invalidating.

third, when youre talking about gender affirming experiences from pre-transition, there's a lot of nuance to those experience because while they are gender affirming, there is confliction too. for some theres the question of why do i like this? and you also have to consider that many times those experiences that happen to a person who sees themselves as a boy. there is a level of separation from the experience because they havent necessarily embraced transness yet, and if they have, theres tentativeness because being in your teens is all about forming identity.

if you can capture these experiences in your writing, then fantastic! but also these are hard to capture because often times it takes lived experience to write it with nuance. love these questions and happy to answer! good luck with your writing!

[barbthebuilder]

hey, it's alright if you cant answer this because i understand!

I'm having trouble with what my gender identity is, I'm afab, and i have always thought i was cis until early 2024. in jan i experimented with being genderfluid, as i realised how much i loved presenting masc and how it made me feel so much better being masc.

shortly after that, i had a weird feeling constantly while presenting masc or fem, where if i was fem i would just feel cis, but if i presented masc i would feel like i'm still cis but just dressing up. my solution to this was to choose a different name to the very feminine one i was assigned, so i chose charlie, which in my head is a very feminine name but also very masculine, based on the people ive seen with that name.

i decided on the lable nonbinary for a bit. (maybe 3 months or so) but when i was using just they/them pronouns i felt like i was missing out on the other genders i wanted to be, so i used they/he/she for a bit, which was fine.

i realised soon after that nobody was using he/him for me, so i dropped it because it felt like a waste and just used they/she, which made me extremely dysphoric, so i went back to they/them.

im currently using they/them, nonbinary, and dressing masc daily, (not wearing any makeup to avoid any dysphoria at all) BUT im also a lesbian. ive been a lesbian for about 2 years and im certain that i am, but can i be enby and lesbian ??? or any other lable and lesbian because thats another thing thats been making me feel weird about my gender

i know this is pretty confusing so if you dont know then i get it, no worries!! i hope you have a nice day :D

Yo, gender identity stuff can be pretty confusing so I don't balme you for feeling uncertian about all of this.

The experience of feeling like you basically fake being genderfluid is something I have dealt with in the early days too. You have identified as a woman for a very long time. It's natural that there is a part if you that rejects nonbinary thinking. You're just not used to thinking about yourself in other ways.

That too shall pass. Feeling like you're faking is temporary if you sureound yourself with good support system and reprogram binary thinking. That happened to me at least.

I can totally relate to feeling like you miss out on something while using they/them. I am personally fine with those pronouns but I much rather be called she or he.

Now, I want you to notice something. You expressed that the best set of pronouns for you that you experimented with was she/they/he. You stuck with those, however people did not use he/him for you. I said: "it felt like a waste". A waste of what? I wonder if there are other feelings involved here too. It just bugs me that you have changed such a big part of yourself beacuse of how everybody was treating you. Maybe the pronouns are not the problem here but how others use them on you.

You seem to be very uncomfortable with she/they and not fully yourself with they/them. Seems like the masculine part of you is a very important one. I don't think it would be true to yourself to reject or supress it.

I think the problem with realising what your gender identity is will be connected to your desire to conform. Don't ask yourself "will they accept me?" but "will I accept me?".

For example, you seem to be very strongly connected to your lesbian label but here you are asking complete stranger if you can use it. Are you a lesbian? If you want to, then yes. Don't try to be what others perceive you to be. Just. Be.

I'm not sure if this was helpful lol. Let me know if you want to! I'm always open to the chatter. Sending lots of love!! <33

[gor3sigil]

hi i dont really know how to introduce myself, so i hope you dont mind if i skip that part.

i just wanted to ask about that post you made a few days ago. in one of the last paragraphs you mention how hatching is painful. but is it supposed to feel like my entire world is cracking apart around me?

what you mentioned in the beginning of the post, about how the people around you felt about masculinity, that very aptly describes a lot of my fears of reactions to me identifying as masculine, which is what started me crying and ultimately spurred me to message you.

im just so scared

i have lots of trans people in my life, i just dont know how to talk about this with most of them (see: Very Scary :C) ive spent my whole life using femininity to take down peoples walls and help them feel comfortable around me. what the hell am i supposed to do as man? can i even still behave that way? will people even still trust me? will they like me? will they feel safe around me? its unbearable. every time i think about it my brain tries to run away, there's just so much fear.

is this normal at all? to be scared like this? i mean, considering i too struggle with the radical feminist narrative you mentioned? i dont believe the narrative, but i fear it. and then i get insecure and i cant stop thinking the insecurity an indication that manhood is the wrong direction for me.

am i making any sense?

Hi, it must've taken lots of strength to write all this so congrats to you. My answer will be based on my own experiences so take it with a grains of salt. Yeah, your world will definitely shatter too. Because even if you're just socially transitionning, if you do so while being surrounded by trans friends, most of them will change the way they percieve you so your interactions may change. I know that's scary, but you have to trust the process. If they're good friends, they won't like you less or anything. That's the hardest part I think. As you read in my post, coming ot made me lose tons of friends, most of them trans, because they treated me badly after I came out.

And yes, you are making sense. I went through the exact same fears as you. The fear of not being deemed as safe anymore. Unfortunately, I don't really have any solutions to offer you, appart from building your own community, online and/or IRL. Like I said, most of my trans friends were kinda crappy about me being masc and I struggled for years to feel comfortable in my masculinity as a result. Because I did the same as you, me being a "woman" was my way of saying that I understood the struggles of others and was safe. Let me stress one thing. You are still okay, you're not a bad person. Even if you discover new things about yourself, even if you're transmasc, even if you're transitionning (if you do), you are still very much the same person as before, with your understanding of a number of issues, with your own pas experiences.

It's a point I really can't stress enough. As I said in my post, you are still worthy of love, support, tenderness, being understood, being heard, being listened to, being comforted. One thing I noticed is that my previous friend tended to dismiss my feelings and/or be "rough" with me thinking that it was "affirming" because I was a man now. Let me tell you that that's BS and don't let anyone treat you this way.

Maybe try to test the water, idk if you came out already or not but maybe in your presentation or just by talking about transmasc specific issues with them, see how they react. That being said, I really do hope that your friends will be understanding. Or that by explaining to them how their behavior is wrong they will understand and act differently, because sometimes people so shit cause they don't know any better. I hope this helps, and I really wish you all the best. If you ever need to talk feel free to reach out again. Take care.

[smalltestaccount]

okay i think ive come to the conclusion that i dont really fit in with most other trans women, like personality wise, and thats okay. Like i think recently a lot of trans women, not just on tumblr, have been making me think i have to be kinky and bizarre or something, be blasé about transitioning or gender roles, or even just like be okay with some borderline harassing behavior. Its okay if that is you (except the harassing behavior some of yall need to work on that), but like thats not really me. Acting this way just makes me feel bad. Just ignoring that Im a total straightedge, that im like a 1 on the Kinsey scale now. Ever since i was like 11 my biggest desire is just like being a normal cis girl. I always am happiest embracing basic American femininity, and i only just re-realized this after after it helped me get out of a depressive episode (along with antidepressants and an increased estrogen dose). I don't care if im "enforcing gender roles", because i fucking love female gender roles (in modern American culture) cause they make me feel like not-a-piece-of-shit. Also i don't strictly adhere to many anyways. And i just don't think terfs would have any issues with cis girls who love the color pink, flowers, being boy crazy, and dreaming about being a mother. So like why should I feel like its wrong to like that stuff? I don't think there is anything wrong with it. And you know if you don't have that relationship with gender that is fine, you need to do what makes you happy, that's why feminism exists. I'm just saying I don't want to pretend like my personality is something that really just makes me uncomfortable.

I dont like when people here imply being a trans woman entails being sexual cause like i just want to be normal and that stereotype is harmful, especially to transgender children who are really likley to be targeted for some kind of sexual abuse because theyre trans and being trans is already sexualized more than it needs to be. Adults can navigate that to some extent, but not kids; I couldnt really navigate that when i started transitioning in middle school and im lucky it only stayed online. Trying to even somewhat fit in with tumblrs idea of trans women has made me encounter tranny porn on my dash and whenever i post images of myself I'm followed by gross accounts that just reblog that stuff . A lot of trans women don't hate it, because sex work is very much as part of the trans community. But honestly, seeing trans women be treated in those ways just makes me feel bad for the actresses and sick about myself and very dysphoric.

Im not saying that you cant express kinkiness and hyper-sexuality, because I dont want to dictate how you act any more than i want you to be dictated on how I act. But I also want to encourage thoughfulness in what you say. Saying you, yourself, is kinky and weird, is not that same as saying trans *girls* are kinky and weird. In the same way I'm not going to reblog tradwife content, I don't think its productive to make an "all tgirls be kinky" post. You shouldn't try to paint that image of other trans women.

As its the first day of june I'll just tie it up by saying that not all trans people fit into one personality and if you want to show support its best not to suggest trans women all act a certain way, and please don't think talking about "gock" is a good way to show support. This isn't a "kink at pride" discourse post in the very slightest cause I don't, and never have, given any shits about that, cause I've never been to pride. This is just me talking about how I fit into the trans community.

Im Alexa and I'm going to reblog and post shit i like, not what other people like or expect. That Includes not doing tummy tuesday cause i really only briefly did it out of fomo and peer pressure. And please don't say things about me that you wouldnt say about other women

[mizuena2010]

let the Mizuki rambles begin

okay well first off I’m using they/them for Mizuki here, but also refer to them with like feminine nicknames u could say? Idk but if that bothers you, I’m so sorry but I am NOT getting into all that gender stuff so.. respectfully, SHHHHHH.

also could anyone tell I’m obsessed w their character?

no?

didn’t think so either (｀・∀・´)

anyways. Here I go.

okay the reason why I’m so obsessed with this girly is just that they are too relatable. Like I will literally start crying like the emotional ass I am when reading their stories. Especially the What Lies Ahead event. Mizuki is faced with a lot of issues, most of them due to not fitting in. I think this is one of the most popular problems that many individuals face in today’s society, hence why their character is on the more popular side.

it is difficult for Mizuki to be themselves, and over the years, they’ve just learned to store away hurt they may face, and dismiss it like nothing. That’s why when the hurt catches up with them, it affects them very strongly, causing them to shut people out, and put up their careless act. I’ve also noticed the habit where they do allow people to grow close with them, but only at a certain point. Past that point, they fear what happens in the future if they cross that line.

Mizuki is also one who finds lying easy; a simple act to cover up concern from the people who care about them. They see their lies as something that benefits the other person, as when they lie, they won’t have to drag the other person down into their problems they see as burdens.

okay hiii guess whose brain is working again so Imma finish this up.

Besides the comments Mizuki gets, their other worries are primarily about the people they care about.

Despite the fact that they shut themselves away from others, they do get attached to people quite easily, and it doesn't take long before they think, "How long until I lose them?"

They dont wish to get so attached, but they crave for the affection that their loved ones show them. They want more of it, but are hesitant to ask for it. Experiences that are supposed to be positive for them can quickly become negative when Mizuki shifts their thinking process. Instead of cherishing their moments (not saying they dont, but they do worry a lot) they begin to think of the future, and imagining a future where the person they love ends up leaving them. This thinking process is something that develops over the years with issues like Mizuki's. They find it difficult to stay in the present, they cant help but grow sad at the thought that soon the memories they make with people they love wont matter. Change is something they dislike. They grow anxious while trying to find ways to get people to stay with them longer.

I think this is also why Mizuki was so taken aback at Ena's promise, and her words alone.

In the What Lies Ahead event, even after Ena says these things, they cant help but doubt her words. They try to imagine a future where Ena is forever by their side, but with everything they've faced, this makes it hard to do so.

It’s not like they don’t want to change, though. In many of their stories, they’re seen wistfully imagining a day where they could stop worrying, where they could stop lying to themselves and others, a day where they can have faith in the ones who promise they’ll stay.

Overall, Mizuki’s story is an interesting and well-developed one, with lots of build-up as they begin to realize that they don’t want to hide as much anymore. They want to push themselves further, they want to deepen their connections with the people they love. They’ve seen everyone around them move on, and they feel it’s time for them to move forward, too.

(I’m not ready for Mizuki5 I will be ugly crying istg)

[mahou-furbies]

Miss Meguca contest (casual outfits), comments

All preliminary rounds are now over! Since there was some variance in how many people voted each round, I'll have to calculate everyone's scores with percentages. So I think the final round won't start until tomorrow. In the meantime, here are the comments:

Round 1

Let’s Hope Madoka Wins this Thing Again. I want to See an Idol or Maybe a special Surprise Image song round or something.

Most of these outfits are so good. I only docked off points for some of them cause they weren’t as interesting. Also Ayaka’s outfit is perfect except for the color of her tights

Always glad to see my girl, Ashley!

Hoods are always a good taste, so…

I'm a sucker for suspenders!

Yuuna, Rena and Kokoro are the TOP of winter fashion!!!

There're quite a few outfits I WANT to like but they're just drawn so weird. Like. Why is Mitsune's sweatshirt Like That.

Also why is Mami dressed like she's in her 40s.

I really love all the varied silhouettes Magireco gives its characters in their casual clothes. Yuuna's is probably my least favourite because it's so boring. Ikumi's cat socks are extremely 2010s fashion and I love them.

Ashley has the best one here! It's practically something I would wear!

Rena's was so cute… until the short shorts. Girl!!! Your thighs are going to freeze!!! At least with skirts it's easy to wear skin colored thermal tights!

Ikumi: I'm going to wear e-girl cat socks with the most boring fit possible.

Round 2

Ren's outfit is so adorable!

Bring On Da Next Round! I Need Madoka to Win!

Yuma stands out not being super detailed, but I like it.

Scene 0 Madoka's outfit isn't bad but I don't think the silhouette and blue jacket necessarily suit her. Also adult Hikaru's outfit looks like something I'd wear in IRL help

Yuna: I don't understand the transparent fabric on her, but aside from that, is a pretty fashionable outfit

Akari: The bunny purse? The bow with the scarf? The puffy shorts? *chef's kiss

Moka: teh top part is a 10, but the bottom is a 3

I would once again kill for Mami's, but Ria's on the block too

Felicia ily but THAT clothes???????

Round 3

It's designs like these that get my hopes up about character design and fashion.

Alina wins out because of the paint on her clothes!

No Madoka Here but I’m Alright with That Besides Madoka Is Gonna Be the Winner Again!

I love Alina's painting clothes 💚💛❤️

So many cute designs in this round💖

ADORE alinas outfit, its so unique among the rest of the super feminine and cutesy casual outfits!

What is up with that bow on Tomoko’s outfit? It feels like everything was just slapped together when it comes to how she’s dressed.

Round 4

sorry, kyouko. i cant stand orange+green color combos.

Finally a good outfit for Kyoko!

Why does it feel that they put more effort into making the winter ones and just slap some ramdom shirts and skirts for casual?

They really did Kyouko dirty in this game.

Looking Good I know Madoka is the Winner nothing ordinary or new!

Thought Homura had a mustache necklace for a sec

I was gonna give glasses Homura a -1, but she's getting a 2 for the mustache necklace actually. I don't like it but it's such a bold choice and I love that for her lmao

I dislike Kirika but her clothes are in my fav choices ;;

I find my choices a little funny in hindsight because Kokoro's outfit is a hiking outfit and it looks nice but it also feels very generic, but I also feel like Leila's outfit looks like she's about to go camping or something. Also I am OBSESSED with Homura's mustache necklace.

Round 5

I'd like to make a disclaimer that I'm not rating Ranka's outfit 1 because I hate it, I just don't think it makes a good winter outfit necessarily. But does this also mean she's into larme kei and shops at places like MA*RS and Ank Rouge? Also: 1) Yachiyo's cold shoulder sweater dress amuses me for some reason. Girl your shoulders! 2) Green is a very interesting colour choice for Temari.

Hotaru, my beloved!! Sleepy queen!!

This is getting Good Final around Ahead and Madoka must Win!

I want Konomi's one so baaaad!!!!

Homura with glasses has the best outfits ;_; I have seen a lot of hers in the polls and always I love how she mixes cutesy with black clothes

Some of these are awful

Round 6

Lots of threes this time for interesting silhouettes or designs that make me go "yeah, that's [character]"! Also Mifuyu's outfit is just one of my faves in general

These are not as awful as the other but somehow most of them has something that ruins the look for me.

The thing is, a magical girl costume is always so extravagant and beautiful, that when we go back to their casual clothes, we expect nothing less. Bu then it comes some disappointment, because they look so plain and simple.

Last One I Need Madoka To Win!!

hard to be picky abt it ;-; they're all so pretty tbh

ui looks adorable!! i love her little outfit! you can certainly tell she's a kid. i find her outfit works really well over all. a lot of others i felt like there'd be one or 2 elements just don't fit with the rest but ui's just matches perfectly in my eyes

This is so difficult because imo the game has really really good designs for the casual outfits

Round 7

Kyoko looks really good in purple

After seeing Yachiyo's dress everything seems pretty.

Disclaimer I like Kyouko's outfit but I don't think it suits /her/ personally. I don't really like the mauve on Oriko? I feel like she should be wearing white or a very pale lilac at least. Tsubaki's is okay I guess and there's something about Tsukuyo's I don't entirely vibe with for some reason

I came to the conclusion that Homura is the Fashion Queen…

And poor Kyouko has so much to learn…

Let’s Hope Madoka wins this whole Thing!

Kyoko's outfit is great, but not a good fit for Kyoko.

Nagisa gets a 3. The OG deserves it. Too good for this world. Too pure. Deserves all the cheese.

Again, Homura has the best outfits