#but even people in the lgbt community would refer to me as a woman if they felt like they could

[daffodi1]

Genuine question, not meant as rhetorical or anything. Ik dismantling the gender binary is important and all, and I'm all for it as well as getting rid of gender roles. And I know that like, even if the gender binary isn't a thing, medical transition will exist regardless (or at least I hope so, bc I would not have survived this long without it even if my gender identity wasn't a problem). But like... if my identity as a man is important to me, how am I supposed to reconcile that? I know I shouldn't be fixated on any identity period and that I should probably just accept that regardless of gender, I am Me, but being a man has kinda been my shield against people just deciding I'm a woman and being done with it. Like, despite all of my feminine traits and interests, if I'm a man then I'm a man and they can't argue with that. And I guess I'm worried that if I don't have that anymore, I'll have nothing preventing people from just deciding I'm a woman. And maybe that is my problem-- maybe I should not be so opposed to the idea of being a woman but I can't help that I hate it when that's what every transphobic person has tried to shove down my throat all my life. So if anyone knows how to like... stop worrying about it, I would appreciate it bc I genuinely don't know how I'd be able to survive in the society we're supposed to want.

[thisismisogynoir]

If i may hope into your inbox rq to rant,i think there's a special kind of masculinazation queer black women go through specifically.There's this weird thing white cis wlw have where they automatically assume 'black women with a queer gender/orientation=masculine presentation' even if the bw in question is blatantly femme(remember the tomboy Megan Thee Stallion allegations💀)and it's highkey insane how they can't wrap their heads around the fact that black women can be girlypops and softgirls as much as any other queer women and i can only imagine how much worse it is for femme black trans women

Like for me i'm bigender and genderfluid along with being bi so i understand why people would assume i want to be masc on first meeting but a quick look at my blog or talking with me will make it very obvious i'm a dude but not the slightest bit masculine and that's absolutely influenced by my black womanhood but white woman fragility makes the idea of unlearning misogynoir 'scary'🙄Ntm my white trans girl friends have been way more normal about me and guys like me than cis girls so that adds to my opinion that transfem and black woman friendships are almost inherent and the overlap between transmisogyny and misogynoir.They think it's 'allyship' but the thing is almost no black woman ever asks to be masculineized

All of this is so true!!!

And then there's the fact that whenever you see Black wlw rep in media, they are almost always butch/stud or on the androgynous/masculine side, and while that does deserve rep, you hardly see femme Black wlw nearly as much, especially when they're paired with a non-Black or lighter-skinned Black girl who will almost always be the femme to their butch, it feels like Black wlw almost never get to be the feminine one.

A lot of white wlw I've seen tend to assume that Black wlw must be masculine, often so that they can be the more feminine one and it's unfair. Plus I feel like Black femme lesbians in particular face a DOUBLE form of femme invisibility that other femmes do not, because while femmes in general are read as straight or seen as having straight-passing privilege(which we do not), Black femmes often face both where we are assumed to be straight feminine girls or we are seen as not being "lesbian" enough because we're femme when Black lesbians must be studs. And it's unfair. And also I wish there was a term specifically for Black femme lesbians the way Black masc lesbians have stud, that was common and widespread, but I also just know that if a term like that did exist, then it would just be co-opted by non-Black femmes anyway, just like non-Black mascs try to do with stud.

I feel too that my femmeness is def influenced by my Black womanhood as well so I see where you're coming from. And I also agree that Black girls and trans girls(esp Black trans girls) should be friends because our oppression, although not identical, has a lot in common on the grounds that we are both denied womanhood by the white gender binarist society.

I wish this was a thing people talked about more, a lot of people act like femmes don't have any unique problems or that we are privileged for being straight-"passing" or having "so much representation" in media, when that is not the case and especially ignores the reality of being a femme of color, especially a Black femme who has to fight to be allowed to embrace her femininity and not be seen as man-lite due to white supremacy. I feel like only other femmes and butch lesbians care about our struggles but that the wider non-lesbian/non-wlw society doesn't? Especially with a lot of lgbt men/male-aligned people saying that the lgbt community has a "fear of/aversion to" masculinity which is complete bullshit(unless you're referring to butch/masc/stud women of course). But we need to start having this conversation! So thank you for bringing it to my attention!

[butchpeace]

Hey, recently found your blog though the detrans tag. I'm looking for some advice, if you don't mind me asking.

I [mid-20's] was born female and transitioned (top surgery, hysterectomy & oophorectomy, 6+ years on HRT) and I feel...out of place.

I've never been able to mix with LGBT groups and I don't understand the culture (?) surrounding it. The word "queer" bothers me because I know what it means, I believe sexuality to be sex-based (because that makes sense—I can't comprehend how anyone can believe lesbians are able to be into dick), I don't think gender/sex is "fluid" or what have you, I find asking people for their pronouns to be insulting and invasive to everyone (+ using "they" as default)—save for, specifically, openly non-binary people—etc., etc. So, there's no community to be found within the LGBT community for me. It is what it is.

I've tried to find some sort of space to slot into within "TERF" corners of the internet, but the community (?) freaks me out somewhat. (i.e., using terms like "genderists" is weird as hell to me & puts me off as someone questioning detransition & still on HRT.) So, no community there. Again, it is what it is.

I've tried Transmedicalist groups, but again, my "TERF-esque" beliefs aren't welcome. They're not a fan of Buck Angel (neither am I, but I relate to & agree with his "female living as a man" perspective).

I suppose I'm just wondering how the hell you do it. How are you getting by? How do you find normal, likeminded people who get you?

I have a [not trans] girlfriend who has been incredibly supportive of me throughout my transition + with now referring to me with "she"/"woman"/etc and such [privately]. We share similar views on sexuality being sex-based, so things have worked out well between us.

I'm just feeling real alien whenever I compare my life & beliefs to all of these different groups of people. Feels like there's nowhere to go to.

Honestly, it’s tough! I’m new to all this too and I feel like we’re in this weird space right now where detransitioners are figuring all this out together. I’m also not someone who will have an easy time of socially detransitioning, so it’s gonna be a gradual process for me.

I benefitted a lot from detrans support groups in the beginning, and made some closer connections through there with people who I hope will be in my life long term, although they’re long distance. That’s what helped me really figure out where I stand on everything, and helped me sort through my mental health shit and the reasons for my transition in the first place, as well as processing the trauma of it all. Feel free to DM me if you’re interested in a support group, or I’m always down for new detrans friends if you want to talk!

I’m not out as detransitioning to everyone in my life yet, but the process of starting to come out has been interesting. It’s really hard to try to balance all these different groups and find people who get you while also being completely honest about your opinions and your history. I have trans friends who I want to keep in my life. Even if I no longer agree with transition, I still care about them. They respect my detransition even if they don’t get it. I have LGB friends who understand what detransition means but who also don’t really get it on a deeper level. I have straight friends who understand what detransition means, but don’t understand lesbian culture or the forces that caused my transition in the first place.

But I think the important thing is to just be really honest. That’s something I’m working on myself. I think people understand more than you might think they would, once you really open up to them. And don’t be afraid to speak your mind a little bit here and there, as it feels safe. I honestly believe that most people have reservations and disagreements with the mainstream beliefs of the trans community, and they’ll be happy to know that you’re a safe person for them to talk about that with. For example, most people don’t like the idea of kids transitioning, and don’t agree with the sexuality bullshit. Those can be easy ways to get into a conversation about it all.

Hopefully something there helped 🤷🏻‍♂️🌈

[mormonbooks]

The Bishop's Wife Review

4/5 Stars!

This book was nothing like how I expected it to be and everything I needed and wanted it to be. I expected the kind of novel you could recommend to your mom for a bit of light reading on a Sunday afternoon. The Bishop's Wife. She's a mormon woman who is doing her best to take care of her ward.

I was pleasantly surprised at the moderately progressive tone the book took within the first few chapters (asking questions about the sexism in the church, the fear of judgement 'imperfect' families face, etc) but I soon realized that it there was much more. This novel is a deep commentary on Mormonism, digging into the deep and unpleasant parts, and asking difficult questions that most members like to avoid. It does it all through the eyes of a faithful middle-aged woman, who knows what she believes and uses her faith to bring justice to her community, even when she has to struggle against the church institution and her own husband to do it.

In my opinion, it's a great work of mormon feminism, that allows our culture to shine through in all it's glory and with all it's flaws. I would highly recommend this book to anyone, genuinely. The mystery is engaging, the community is loveable, the plot twists are gut wrenching. Truly a work of art. I'm excited to read more of Harrison's work

Breakdown under the cut

1. Well written - 5 Stars

Yes. The prose is beautiful. The plot is engaging. The mystery is complex and the new information always threw me. It was gut wrenching at times. It was comforting at others.

2. Fun level - 5 stars

It's a slow-paced story, with many moments that skip weeks or months where not much happens. But I enjoy stories like that. It gave breaks between the page-turning mystery solving moments.

3. Complex faith - 5 Stars

This is probably my favorite part of this book. The villains and the heroes are all mormons, and they all approach their faith and their religion in different ways. Linda obviously has more progressive views, and is enraged by the misogyny of many of the men in this story. Those men are not shown to be anamolys per se but they're also not shown to be the norm. Many women in the story have opportunities to voice their questions and doubts but it never makes them any less mormon. People exist all over the scale of mormonism and it feels like the most honest portrayal of our culture that I've read so far.

4. Homophobia scale - 3.5 Stars

It's not a major plot point, but it's mentioned that Linda's son Samuel joined the GSA at his school and she is proud of him for that. She also suspects that her other son might be gay, and worries about how that will affect his relationship with his father. I imagine this will be explored further in the series. It's refreshing that Linda is pro-LGBT but it also seems to treat the church's heteronormative stance quite naively and I'd love to see Harrison really dig into that topic in the future.

5. Mormon weird - 4 stars

Realistic Fiction, but definitely uniquely mormon. The characters in this book could not be swapped out with "generic christians." some of the problematic and dangerous beliefs are uniquely mormon, but so are the beautiful and comforting ones. There is a lot of discussion of the plan of salvation, that I appreciated. I also liked Linda's realistic approach to faith, and her honest moments of doubting, or referring to things as "legends" and "myths." Things don't have to be doctrine to be important in our culture

6. Diversity of characters - 2 stars

I don't think race is ever touched on in the novel, and they all live in Utah and have typical european-american names, so it's easy to assume they are all white. And despite being essentially a work of mormon feminism, a very small percentage of the speaking cast are women.

7. Other problematic stuff - 4.5 stars

I deeply enjoyed the novel as a snapshot of a mormon town, however that does mean that, despite her progressiveness, Linda has a realistic understanding of gender, as a middle-aged mormon woman. She has some beliefs and attitudes toward men that I found frustrating, although understandable.

Conclusion:

I gave this book 5 stars on goodreads but that was before I did my breakdown. I wish it had been more diverse, but I think Harrison explores race in the church in future novels. We'll see.

I LOVE Linda Wallheim. I LOVE the way Harrison talks about Mormon communities and Mormon faith and Mormon culture. I love how much this book made me feel. This is decidedly GOOD mormon rep, with all the determined faith mixed with struggles against flawed systems and truly terrible people. like. I cannot express how much I hate the villains in this book.

I can't wait to see Linda's next adventure.

[aroaceconfessions]

I just started college (at a private school on a shit ton of scholarships and still taking out loans which has led to some really awkward assumptions about my economic situation that kind of just make everything worse) and I had no damn clue that I was so lucky with my friend group in highschool. I went to this support group and made most of my friends that way bc my dads an alcoholic and basically met my platonic soulmate (as sketch as that term is in the aroace community, it feels right with her) but we went to colleges a few hours apart and haven’t been around eachother as of late

Now that I’m at college, I decided to room on a lgbt friendly floor (gender neutral bathrooms, coed rooms, lgbt floor programs, easier access to lgbt support, etc) because it sounded like the perfect way to find and become friends with the queer community on campus. But I think I made a really big mistake.

Being a woman (loosely, but I present that way) on the floor, people just assume I’m a lesbian or at least bi/pan. And people, as they have always done, constantly talk about relationships and sex. Every second of every day. I’m sorta used to it. I’m also autistic so they are used to some stuff going over my head or me simply not reacting, they just don’t know that with the sex jokes it’s not that I don’t get it, it’s that I don’t find it funny. But sometimes I chime in, just to banter and make sure people like me (as sad as that is) and they’ll inevitably say something along the lines of “oh well you’re gay” as in to imply I’m not into men. But they literally forget I’m also not into women or nb people or anyone. I’d like to say I have no problem with the umbrella term gay to refer to the lgbt community, actually I almost did. But I do have a problem with it. I’m not gay. I’m not into anyone. I don’t like sex. I don’t want sex. I’m never going to want sex. Or dating for that matter! I’m out as aroace. All my friends know. And yet they completely erase my identity in everyday speech as if nothing is even happening. It’s so alienating!

I want to assume the best of them. I want to hope that in their minds what they mean is that I’m queer. Im pet of the lgbt+ community. But I know it’s not true. What they mean is “oh well she doesn’t like men so it makes sense that she doesn’t really like the dick jokes and whatnot, so I’ll qualify our conversation and make sure she knows I remember so she doesn’t feel bad for not getting the straight or gay(mlm) sex jokes.” They do not mean “oh yeah she doesn’t like sex, allow me to toss it into conversation so she feels more comfortable and seen,” because if that was what they meant, they’d say “oh well you’re ace.”

They just fucking assume that everyone ESPECIALLY on an lgbt floor is constantly thinking of sex and dating because they can’t possibly conceive another reason someone would live on the lgbt floor. They may remember trans and nb students exist, but in the end they ALSO assume those students are looking for easier access to accepting people in order to find a partner who’s okay with dating a trans or nb individual.

And yet I’m right here.

[treeofnonsense]

Talk to me about ace friendo - 1, 8, 20, 21, 28, 33, and 34 🤍💜

THANK YOUUUUU I GET TO RAMBLE IT'S GOING TO BE LOONG

1. Which labels do you use?

Asexual and aromantic cis(???how do you define cis???) woman. There are probably some microlabels under the ace/aro umbrellas that could describe me but I don't tend to dive into microlabels anymore - I've found that defining myself by those feels more like cutting myself up to fit into little boxes rather than finding a space I'm comfy in. I'm okay with being referred to as gay when it's a joke or as part of a group (ie "one of the gays" "gay people in your phone") and I'll count myself as a member of the LGBT community if directly asked (though I'm always a little hesitant because they don't always want to include me back). I don't use queer because I've never had it thrown at me and don't feel I have the right to reclaim it.

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:

I don't know how, but you got the right answer with the wrong equation.

20. Do you feel like you "fit in" with the queer/Pride community overall?

Yes and no. I'm very thankful for the community because it's the only place I've felt able to be my full self, but on the other hand there is definitely a disconnect for a few reasons. One is that I live in a non-urban conservative area, and a lot of Pride stuff seems to default to urban and liberal. I've never been to a Pride parade - not because I want to but because there aren't any where I live. People forget those of us who live in the boonies I think - or they actively look down on us, which sucks. Sometimes the discourse feels so above my head - they're talking stores taking down their Pride decorations while I haven't even noticed the change because they NEVER do that here in the first place.

The other thing is that there was definitely a pushback towards asexuals specifically being considered LGBT a few years ago. Don't know the exact timeframe (I thankfully wasn't around online during that time) but the ripple effects can still be felt. I think the idea is that we were actually just heterosexual imposters in disguise or something - it's stupid - but it's made me very nervous about joining any LGBT groups. I always have to check to see if the LGBT+ actually includes the A, y'know? Add to that the fact that the LGBT community naturally talks a lot about sex and romance (understandable, I'm not trying to change it, on a logical and ideological level I think talking about these things frankly is good) and I can sometimes feel alienated there. Some LGBT people seem to think that sexual freedom means "everyone should have sex all the time" and like ... no. It means the freedom to choose whatever you want. If you're forcing something on me you're just as bad as everyone else.

21. What message would you give to your younger self?

Measure your life's value in happiness, not money.

28. Do you experience both romantic and sexual attraction? Do you experience them the same across any gender(s) you are attracted to?

I definitely do not have the sexual attraction, for anyone. I can tell generally when someone is supposed to be hot, but only because I've learned from experience what is socially accepted as "hot". I can definitely find people beautiful but it's in the same way I'd find a landscape beautiful - I want to stare at it, maybe I want to draw it, but nothing else. I've noticed I tend to find women beautiful more often than men; I don't know if that's because I'm more familiar with the biology, because women tend to dress up more due to societal pressures, or just a weird preference. But again, it never progresses beyond aesthetic appreciation and there have definitely been guys I like to look at too so it's not 100% reliable.

Romantic is harder. When you take out everything physical, I have a hard time telling the difference between a romance and a close friendship. I'm dense as a brick when people flirt with me because I literally cannot tell they're not just being friendly. I know I'm not upset by being single like some people seem to be, but I do get lonely without friends. There are people I want to get to know better and do stuff with - is that wanting friends? Romantic attraction? I DUNNO MAN! Most people do not seem to have this problem, so I assume I'm different and slap the aromantic label on myself. It works.

33. What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/want to recognize/celebrate?

I'm proud of my own independence when it comes to relationships. I don't need a significant other or a sexual partner to be "complete," contrary to what the world says. If you want those things, by all means, but for those people who are ace/aro, who aren't ready for a relationship, or are learning to just exist as themselves alone for the first time, I want to be living proof that it is possible to be happy on your own. You are not half of a person if you are single. You are a whole person. Just you is enough.

34. What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)?

I need a new wardrobe. Been having Gender Thoughts(TM) thanks in no small part to some of my mutuals going through it and I'm now realizing that a lot of my clothes don't really fit who I am in my head anymore. My family was kinda poor growing up and I learned not to waste things, so I have a lot of old clothes and hand-me-downs still left over, many of which are pretty classic feminine. I want to try getting some more masculine stuff and see how that feels. (if uh... if any of you have advice for going slightly more masc please let me know, this is new to me and I am confuzzled)

Living in an area where I don't see Trump 2024 signs, blue-line cop stuff, and Confederate flags every four feet would be nice too, but that's a longer-term goal.

[fishtomale]

i guess on social media cesspools rn whether or not a trans man can identify as a lesbian or whether or not a lesbian can identify with trans manhood is a hot topic right now. i don't want to answer that question directly at this time but i do want to share a story

a few years ago, maybe 5 or 6, i was walking home from therapy bc at that point it wasn't super uncommon for me to not have enough for bus fare home some days, and somebody walked over to me and got my attention asking if i was queer, which i'll admit freaked me out a bit at first but i did answer yes. she told me she was a trans woman and that she was actually from a city a significant distance from where we were but that she had come down to stay with her boyfriend only for him to start beating her and that she had literally just ran away. she had spent a lot of resources coming down here and had left some really essential items behind with her abuser. i remember as she was talking she would go back and forth between referring to herself as transsexual and gay, which confused me at the time when i realized she was using the word gay much in the same way that a gay man would. i remember wanting to ask before i realized that i had no right to make her doubt her place in any group that could possibly provide her with a sense of community, belonging, identity, resources, or protection. she was beyond distraught and clearly not was not willing to be this open about her situation with anyone she didn't read as having at least some shared experiences. unfortunately i only had a dollar and some change at the time to give to her, but other than that all i could do was give her the address of some lgbt resource centers in the area who i honestly didn't even know if they would be willing to help adults. i don't know what happened to her and i would hospitalized for planning suicide a couple months later following my own escape of an abusive relationship.

when people get so aggressive talking about what labels people can and can't use to communicate their experiences it seems really disconnected from the reality of the trans struggle. the things she was afraid of and had already experienced, interpersonal abuse, isolation from a family and therefore a support system, potential homelessness, fear of further bigotry and violence from strangers, and even my personal attempt at ending my life, these are some of the issues which should really be at the heart when we are discussing trans suffering. in the face of all that, policing how people label and present themselves, especially irt "gender incongruency", it feels not only pithy, but actively harmful, which begs the question of who does it benefit when you engage in discourse to attack people like that? because i have a lot of thoughts on who it hurts

[genderqueerdykes]

Hey - sorry if this is weirdly personal (on my end, that is!) but I’m a nonbinary trans masc individual. I’m an adult, I work and pay rent and get exhausted with property management companies when they won’t fix my broken heating system. I came out to my mother when I was 12-13 - although since I wasn’t online and didn’t have many friends who were either I didn’t know about the term nonbinary - and told her I ‘didn’t feel like I was a girl.’

I’m wanting to come out. Getting mis gendered everyday sucks, not being seen sucks and so much is outside my realm of control that this one little thing, to tell people ‘Actually I’m not a woman at all, here’s my pronouns and name thanks’ is the dream. It’s something I can conceivably do! Except I feel old. I feel old and on top of that I feel like I would lose a lot of my connections both personally and professionally. My unofficial job is doing video game and animation voice acting. The only people to whom I’m out irl are my cousin and one of the animators I work with. They’re lovely but they’re only two people. Lately my problems with gender have increased exponentially and the only gender therapist in my COUNTY said ‘Yes young women tend to distance themselves from their womanhood when they’ve been mistreated by men’ (I’m paraphrasing but I also don’t wanna be triggering, if you understand). And she wouldn’t help me. I don’t know what to do or if I should do anything at all! Technically I know there’s no wrong age to come out, but it feels like the more years I stay in the closet the harder it’s gonna be when I do - and I really want to, it’s chewing me up. I’m scared, I suppose, especially since I don’t “look” nonbinary/trans masc (according to my image issues and quite a few younger people I’ve met in the community who say I’ve got it easy since nobody knows I’m trans). I don’t know, I’m already rambling on enough. Do you have any advice, anything at all? I’ll take it. If not, totally get it, it’s a long winded message.

Either way, have a lovely evening and enjoy yourself. Cheers!

damn dude... i get a lot of messages like this and they really speak to me, because i was once a closeted transmasc nonbinary person from a very small rural area (the town i was born in/the towns i lived in afterward were all around 1,000 people in terms of population) itching and trying so hard to come out but not knowing where to start or what to do

i wanted to say that i'm very sorry that it's so hard for you to come out, especially considering that your job involves your voice. that must be so difficult. i was trying to get into voice acting before i transitioned and people were trying so hard to get me to record lines before i started T and it was causing so much dysphoria. i understand how hard that must be

this might sound really weird, but hear me out. if you aren't sure if you can socially transition, if you're not comfortable coming out to a group of friends or family or whatever yet, come out to yourself. whenever you're alone, do gender affirming things. do things in your spare time that allow you to be who you are. come out to any online friends that you have and be yourself with them, too, and be aggressive about using the correct name, identity and pronouns. i know coming out online isn't the same, but it helps when you are very adamant with it.

become comfortable with being your real self first. then you can show the people in your life who you really are. it'll be easier if you're confident when you come out. coming out as nonbinary is never easy, but if you have a good footing in who you are, and are referring to yourself by the correct name, pronouns, and presenting how you like, it'll be easy to imprint that on to others with confidence

i'd say try to find ANY queer peers in your area that you can. ANY within your age range, try to see if you can find a gay/straight, pride, or lgbt alliance, or see if there is a transgender resource center, or other transgender center. colleges will usually have some type of queer pride group and queer resources. if you are of the appropriate age, you can try to see if there are trans and drag events at local gay bars and work your way up from there. you may even have to reach out to neighboring bigger cities or even other states. i ended up moving across the country before i could have access to hormones and whatnot, to a much bigger city with a larger population.

my heart goes out to you, i hope you're able to find a way to transition that's comfortable and safe for you, that allows you to do what you need to do to achieve your happiness. if you need to take a break from your current line of work, i support that, but i also support not wanting to. you do need to do what's right for you in the end, whatever that means. i hope you can be a happier version of you, and let the world know who you are safely, and at a pace that works for you and your situation. take care, stay safe, hope to hear from you again!

[rexposingtrishapaytas]

TRISHA'S SKELETONS IN HER CLOSET - MEGA THREAD

Welcome to the Tumblr dedicated to exposing the narcissistic, domestic abuser, and hate monger that is Trisha Paytas. She has infiltrated different groups of youtube influencers over the years and has managed to FOOL many into thinking she is an ally, a body-positive role model, a mental health advocate, and an all-around good person. SORRY TO INFORM YOU; THAT IS A LIE. Read this thread to get an idea as to why she deserves to be de-platformed.

The Handmade Bracelets Debacle [Trisha Paytas' Endless Greed]

In 2012, Trisha announced she is selling handmade Swarovski bracelets to her followers. (Note: She couldn't even pronounce Swarovski properly!) It was later revealed that she purchased the rhinestone Shamballa bracelets from eBay for $1-5, says she handmade them and in true Trisha greedy fashion, offered the bracelets to her young followers for a hefty $25 (the price jacked up 5 times). Here is a video.

Being Gay IS A Choice [Trisha Paytas' Ignorance of LGBT Community]

In 2014, Trisha uploaded a video spewing homophobic nonsense, claiming bisexuality does not exist (Poor Shane Dawson...), that we're "all a little gay," comparing gay marriage to animal marriage e.g. "marry a horse," and that people choose to be gay, e.g. "your sin of choice." Due to backlash, the video was removed one day later, and ever since, in podcasts, she has claimed it is a "trolling" video to get a coin.

On October 7th, 2019, Trisha Paytas uploads a video titled, I AM TRANSGENDER (FEMALE TO MALE). Due to massive backlash from her audience, the LGBT community, and even popular trans-YouTubers, she eventually removed it from YouTube a month later.

On 27th October 2019, Trisha Paytas - H3 Podcast #152 is uploaded. She conflates being a drag queen with being transgender. When asked to describe what makes her male, she claims she has a "male energy" and it's "how she feels inside." She asserts you "can be a gay man and a lesbian." When Ethan jokes, "Hila and me are lesbians, we're gay for each other," Trisha gasps and says, "You can't do that!" Even though that is technically what she's doing, claiming she is a gay transgender man while looking like a heterosexual woman who has monetized her female sexuality for clicks, views, and profit since 2007. Ethan asked if the trans video was monetized since there were midroll ads on the video, Trisha denied it, saying, "I don't know how to put ads on videos." Ethan got her to download the YouTube Creator Studio app and pointed out that she made 8000 dollars on that I AM TRANSGENDER video.

At 18:49, Ethan says a fan who identifies as trans has some comments to offer; "Trisha mentions no feelings of gender dysphoria, which is the medical condition that identifies someone who is transgender. If she were to go to a gender identity therapist and ask to medically transition, she would most likely be denied because she has no gender dysphoria." Trisha replies, "Well, I wouldn't say I don't have dysphoria, I hate having a vagina, for sure!" Yeah, I'm sure you do, boo.

The "Fuck PETA" Incident [Trisha Paytas' Disregard for Animals]

In 2014, Trisha uploaded a video talking about how much she hates animals and does not care if they are abused or tortured. Here is a video where someone references the modern-day rabbit chair incident and uses highlights from the F**K PETA video to illustrate that Trisha does not care about animals in 2014 and 2021.

Unfortunately, the original F**K PETA video has been entirely scrubbed off the internet. The video was only posted for 6 hours before she removed it due to massive backlash and posted an apology video, where she says the F***K PETA video was "trolling" and that she doesn't stand by it.

Racism and Anti-Semitism

Trisha has a well-documented history of racism from her years on youtube, even once admitting that she is racist. Here is a compilation highlighting some of her racism. In 2015, she released a music video sexualizing Django Unchained, singing "you can whip me every night, just like Django" while cosplaying as a black slave. She also released a song called 'Jungle Fever' where she states she is an 'Interracial Whore'. In January 2013 she uploaded a video called 'Black Men + White Chicks' stating thick white women have deeper vaginas than black women and are better suited to date, black men. She has also said the 'N word' on multiple occasions stating she thinks it's racist that she can't say the word because she is white. She came out as black citing her body type as “a thick black girl and eyelids dark and oily”. She also uploaded a video to complain about a black woman whom she didn't know at a bar calling her 'ghetto, stinky, hairy c*nt'. In a video, she even claims that AIDS is a result of black people having sex with monkeys. She has also used the word 'ghetto' a variety of times including this clip calling her long nails 'ghetto, stating she looks like Laquisha' and one video where she was scared to get out of the car as 'she was in the ghetto and there were 6 scary looking black men'. In another instance, she accused random Hispanic men 'of being gang members that will kill her'. She has voted republican several times stating she's conservative, making videos supporting Donald Trump's presidency and several for Mitt Romney, though she backtracked stating her Trump videos were 'satire'. In one video she justifies the wall as 'Illegal immigrants are stealing jobs from Americans' and states 'they don't pay taxes'. In this clip, A Hispanic man asks for a photo and Trisha drives away in disgust and says 'ew, literally getting hit on by someone who doesn't know English. Trisha has also cosplayed as Indigenous women, Hispanic women, and Black women. In one instance claiming the pimple on her forehead makes her look like an 'Indian person'. She claimed previously she likes to think 'she is Asian, and it is not racist since she likes rice' and proclaimed in a video that 'Asians eat cats and dogs'. In this video titled 'White girls problems' Trisha makes a multitude of racist comments towards all different ethnicities. Trisha's mother also shares the same racist tendencies quoted as saying 'he's so foreign he looks stupid' and complaining foreigners don't tip her. She has stated a few times that she cannot be racist as she was on Celebrity Big Brother UK and they wouldn't have let her on the show if she was.

Trisha has a long history of fetishizing Jewish men. A fellow YouTuber, Mr. Beard, released an informative video that outlines her fetishization and anti-semitic rhetoric. Trisha made a video titled “Jesus and the Jews” [video has been scrubbed]. Chambers of Spoilers is a YouTube channel of a woman and her sister, who are both Jewish. They compiled a very comprehensive video about Trisha's Antisemitism. They also compiled a Google Doc which has links and specific time-stamps of when Trisha said antisemitic statements in 2020.

In 2020, she uploaded a video titled "How to seduce a Hebrew man" which showcases an awful accent and blatant racist stereotypes. She has perpetuated anti-semitic tropes repeatedly stating Jewish men are cheap, you can "pay to be Jewish", and has said every Jewish Stereotype in the book as shown in these compilations. In more than one instance, Trisha has recorded herself doing the Nazi hand gesture, aka the "Heil Hitler" arm motion. She has lied stating she knew nothing about the Holocaust, though she is quoted as reading many books on the subject and uploaded a video titled My Thoughts on Hitler in 2013. In this video, she praises Hitler, while condemning and mocking Jews. On an episode of Frenemies, Trisha states Moses just being Jewish turns her on and admits she and her husband have roleplayed Holocaust extermination shower scenes together. Trisha often claims she's "Jewish by insemination" and association to get out of controversy though she admitted that Moses does not identify as Jewish and she has not converted to Judaism. She has stated converting to Judaism would be turning her back on god so will not be converting which is not surprising as she had a youtube channel dedicated to being catholic called "The Catholic Vlogger". On Tiktok, after many dancing Hanukkah uploads, a Holocaust survivor even called her out for being offensive. Here are 2 links to some of her tweets Link 1, and Link 2 showcasing her antisemitism over the years (which she adamantly denies).

In 2012, Trisha dressed up as a J-pop star character, Popstar Trishii, that mocked the Japanese language, J-pop stars, and the gyaru community.

In 2015, Trisha Paytas has done a music video inspired by Django Unchained, where she does blackface, dresses up as a slave (Brunehilde), and sang, "you could whip me every night, just like Django"

In 2015, Aria Hinton did an article on Superfame.com, about Trisha Paytas being upset she can't use the N-word or anti-gay slurs, saying "You're All Oversensitive"

In 2016, the release of her new album "Daddy Issues," her song, "Jungle Fever" is extremely racist.

The Fetishization of Religious Groups, the LGBT community, and Deceased People

2011 - Gays I Want to Bang

2013 - Mormons I Want to Bang

2013 - Having Sex with Dead People

2020 - H3 Podcast - Trisha Loves Jews ... & it's Weird

2021 - H3 Podcast - Ethan Has Had Enough of Trisha's Jewish Obsession

2021 - Visiting Hare Krishna Temple for the First Time + TEMPLE HAUL!

She claims to have had sex with multiple celebrities, such as Jim Carrey, and Robin Williams when she was a hooker, then she claims she knew him on Frenemies but "doesn't want to talk about it", John Stamos, Bill Clinton, Bradley Whitford, Marilyn Mansion, even claiming she had sex with an entire baseball team.

Romanticising Sexual Assault, Sex with Teachers (SA allegations against Mr. Riney)

2010 - Don't Stand so Close to Me - Dedicated to all my teachers I lusted over

2013 - Avoid Getting Raped!

2013 - Is it rape if she's drunk via @DrPhil

2014 - Is Rape a Turn On

If you haven't seen Mysterious's channel already, she went into great depth about the extent of Trisha's lies and SA allegations against her teachers, more specifically Mr. Riney. Originally, Trisha spoke very highly of her teachers, saying they encouraged her to work hard to graduate, that she has potential and that they believe in her.

Over the years, Trisha began to change the narrative of "my teachers inspired me to finish high school," to, "my teachers SA-ed me," saying the teacher's name on Frenemies episode #17 (Ethan has since pulled this episode down, out of respect for the deceased teacher and his family's privacy.) to encourage her followers to "look it up." The teacher is DECEASED and the story regarding the assault changes multiple times (it's changed from a teacher molesting her because she wears a water-bra, a teacher molesting her while the classroom plays heads down, thumbs up, a teacher molesting/SA-ing her after letting her borrow Cape Fear/Taxi Driver to teachers coming to her house to SA her.)

Here are PART 1 and PART 2 - basically, there is NO criminal charge, investigation, or any news articles. If there was a SA of a student by a teacher in the small country town of Byron, Illinois, it would be ALL OVER THE NEWS. Mr. Riney is a respected teacher and a well-known, There is no evidence that Mr. Riney ever SA-ed a student (if there was, he would not have been allowed to renew his teacher's license) and he passed away in 2011, so all we have is Trisha's word against a deceased man who can't even defend himself against the allegations.

The accumulation of this finally led to Trisha having a full-blown meltdown on Twitter, she refused to clarify the SA situation to clear Mr. Riney's name, exposed private texts with Ethan and Hila, while begging them to "tell their fans to stop attacking her" (Newsflash, Trisha, your FANS are angry and fed up with your behavior!) Here is another video that details the lies uncovered during Frenemies and her meltdown on Twitter.

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Dating a Convicted Pedophile and Defending Him

In 2017, Trisha Paytas dated a convicted pedophile and defended him. Here's a tweet with a video.

His victim was only 3 years old and he admitted he did the crime.

(OP Note: THIS IS SO SAD!! AND DISGUSTING OF TRISHA! Wtf!)

Years later, the convicted pedophile was tried for photographing a 3-year-old boy in the Dodger Stadium bathroom.

Daniel E Carroll - Autistic Man who was bullied by Trisha Paytas' and her Trishy Fishies

Trisha had a fan, Daniel E Carroll who is an autistic man. Here is a video. She would constantly post about how she was afraid for her safety and Daniel would offer her support in DMs on Facebook. They messaged daily and became friends (Trisha even called Daniel a Super Fan) until Trisha suddenly stopped responding. She made videos about how this man was an obsessive stalker who was harassing her, wouldn't leave her alone and claimed she was scared for her safety. Her Trishy Fishie army attacked him, and he made a video, explaining what happened. He was understandably frustrated because Trisha claimed he could come to her house and kill her - he does not even HAVE A CAR to drive from Texas to LA.

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Dissociative Identity Disorder & DissociaDID with Anthony Padilla

After Anthony Padilla did an episode of Meeting People with DID with DissociaDID, Trisha uploaded a video "DID - WATCH ME SWITCH" where she talks about how she feels like she has different personalities and showed herself "switching" on camera (obviously it was acting). Both Anthony and DissociaDID made a response on social media, explaining that DID is a mental illness and to please not mock people's struggles by pretending to have DID. As a result, she sent her Trishy Fishies to attack DissociaDID to the extent that they removed themselves from the platform for their safety (DissociaDID left the platform for different reasons. It’s way too much to get into but they caused a lot of harm to other systems, supported their ex’s p*do drawings, has alters with racial stereotypes, and lied about a lot of things.)

Trisha Paytas used to date Encina Severa, a woman with actual DID. After they broke up and when the DisassociaDID situation happened, she used the knowledge from her relationship with Encina to act out her "switches"

Here's a video about Encina and here's her comment on Trisha's DID video. Post credit to u/

_____________________________________________________________

Jeffree Star / Shane Dawson / Ryland Adams

Trisha was invited to an LA trip by Jeffree Star after recently leaving the hospital, she was still in recovery from her drug problem but agreed to go on the trip. She didn't feel up for partying so Jeffree Star and his posse allegedly made fun of her skin and weight, smacked food out of her hand, and said, "there's a balcony over there, jump off of it."

Trisha left early to go home and makes videos about how Jeffree Star is such a fake, mean person. She tries to tell Shane and Shane is like, "I don't want to believe Jeffree would do that. Come over, we'll have food and you can forget about it." Trisha felt like Shane was being dismissive and thought Shane wasn't seeing that Jeffree Star was a horrible person. At some point, Trisha blocks Jeffree Star. Trisha sees that Jeffree Star is invited as a guest once on Ryland's podcast, Sip The Tea.

What pissed Trisha off was a 5-minute segment on an episode that came out the same week everyone else was talking about Jeffree Star - when it was rumored he was dating Kanye. Ryland asked Jeffree Star for a commentary in form of a voice memo and put the audio in the episode. It wasn't a very long one, only 1 minute long.

She unleashes an attack on Shane, Ryland, and Jeffree, ultimately cutting off Shane and Ryland by unfollowing or blocking them both. She makes multiple videos, calling them out on their behavior and crying about how mean they are for not seeing her side when Trisha had been Shane's friend for 7-8 years. She felt betrayed by Shane and Ryland and felt they just wanted to keep being friends with Jeffree Star because he's rich rather than a long-time friend, like her.

______________________________________________________

HairByJay - IG Live / Wig Situation

During the LA trip, Trisha got a few wigs done by HairByJay. She made a video where HairByJay charged her double the amount for the wigs. This lie caused HairByJay to go off on IG live at Trisha, calling her a whale, fat, ugly, and disgusting. He also said he gave her a discount on the wigs. Trisha posted a video of her reacting to the IG live, she cries and is upset, and her Trishy Fishies attack HairByJay and he makes an apology. Mysterious does a video about the entire incident here.

Trisha also accused HairByJay of coming by her house, saying her security guard saw him, however, this story has a shaky foundation. Trisha is known for lying and accusing people of turning up at her property, claiming she's scared for her safety, and that the person is going to harm her. She made the same lies of this nature about Daniel E Carroll, HairByJay, and Gabbie Hanna.

RichLux

During the LA trip, Trisha created a story about how Rich Lux was given her bag by Jeffree Star, which she was "fine with," until she realized her camera and clothes were in it. She accused Rich Lux of stealing her camera. Rich Lux had beef with her for fabricating such a story that didn't happen.

____________________________________________________

Gabbie Hanna

Trisha Paytas and Gabbie Hanna have been feuding for years.

In 2019. it was the incident where Trisha confided in Shane about having herpes, Shane then informed Gabbie who felt she had the responsibility as a friend to tell Jason Nash (Trisha's then-boyfriend) about Trisha's herpes, as Trisha had not told him. This caused an explosion of drama and videos, with Trisha accusing Gabbie of lying about her having STD/herpes.

In 2021, one of their last fights was when Trisha went on Gabbie Hanna's podcast for an episode. Gabbie was trying to get Trisha to admit that they had been friends, but Trisha kept denying it and laughing nervously. The podcast finished and Trisha uploaded a video of a voicemail from Gabbie to prove how obsessive Gabbie is. She accused Gabbie Hanna of coming to her house to harm her. Gabbie stated that she doesn't know where Trisha lives.

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Jason Nash, David Dobrik & Vlog Squad

Trisha made an unhinged video about David making a threesome joke about Tana, Jason, and Trisha. In this video, she attacked people in Jason's life from the mum of his kids to his bestie Brandon. A few days later Jason and she made a weird video that was supposed to be her apologizing to those people but ended up in an argument. He was staying in her house at this time for whatever reason. She released a music video that same day or the next.

The following day after that he escaped her house to go "hang with his kids" and as soon as he had some distance he called her to break up. That's when she staged her little suicide gambit. She took a pill mixed with alcohol and acted woozy. Adam, her makeup artist/dancer/BFF at that time (who she later trashed) took her to the hospital.

We know it was an act because on the ride there she texted Jason to tell him that she had tried to kill herself and was on her way to the hospital. Nobody close to death is this manipulative. He was with David at the time and they rushed to the hospital together. When she saw David, she assumed that it was he who had talked Jason into dumping her evil ass earlier that evening, so she started screaming at David. In her hysterics, she said shit like "I wanna die" which the nurses are obligated to report as a danger to herself even if it was just her usual drama. THAT'S HOW SHE WAS 5150'd. This was in February.

During her 48-hour stay in the hospital, he stayed supportive but they didn't get back together. He then proceeded to stay friends for the next three months. He was however openly starting to date and even joined Tinder. She admits she knew because she would "borrow" his devices and snoop. He was weaning her off him so he refused to attend her birthday because that would have allowed her to show him off like they were still a couple. She snapped when he didn't show up to the party and drove to his house. You've got the rest of this correct

... although I'm not sure I buy that she was admitted a second time. That's a detail that she started tacking on much later. Plus she didn't disappear. Remember all this went down the same weekend as Nicocado exposing her, Ethan's whale video, and her fake going cold turkey off opioids. It was quite the week for our Trish, lol.

This video confirms my post including the fact they broke up and she was 5150'd February but her birthday is in early May. Note the video was made in late May and she only mentioned one mental ward stay. Also, note how she outs a famous person who was admitted to the same ward. Evil cow.

TLDR: They broke up, she threatened death and was committed to a mental ward. He stayed friendly but started drawing boundaries. She snapped when he skipped her bday and terrorized him. She's probably lying about being admitted a second time.

Post credit to u/shortstroll

Trisha Paytas has a clear pattern of abusive behavior. Trisha has abused many of her boyfriends in the same ways. For example, Trisha also took her ex Jason’s keys and refused to let him leave for hours (even blocking the door — he was so scared he wanted to call 911 on her), just like she admitted she did to her fiancé Moses when she stole his keys and physically abused him! She admitted on Twitter that she also refused to let yet another ex, Sean, leave her — even physically restraining him against his will. Disturbingly, Trisha’s fiancé Moses indicated in a deleted Tiktok video that in addition to physically abusing him, Trisha has also forced him sexually, as well as threatened to kill herself when he tried to break up with her. These are classic abuser tactics — Trisha Paytas is a textbook liar, narcissist, and serial abuser.

Trisha has spoken several times - including on Frenemies - about the time she drove her car into her ex Jason’s house while high on meth, endangering his and possibly others’ lives, but neglected to mention that it was a premeditated act — she had previously threatened to crash her Lamborghini into Jason’s house, it was filmed in a vlog! Even more disturbing, messages have come out where Trisha’s fiancé Moses allegedly said that Trisha has also threatened to drive into his building while “high and drunk and naked”!!! Trisha Paytas is a very dangerous individual.

Post credit to u/Chelsabelle

Moses Hacmon

In 2020, Trisha Paytas began dating Hila's brother, Moses Hacmon. When Trisha went on the Frenemies podcast, she admitted to physically abusing her fiancé Moses — all the while disgustingly minimizing it, rolling her eyes while talking about it. She admitted that she stole his keys so that he couldn’t leave, that she fought him for twelve hours and left bruises on him. She lied and insisted that it was just an isolated incident when it was anything but — Trisha Paytas has proudly publicized and profited from the abuse of her partners for years.

Post credit to u/Chelsabelle

They have since made up and got engaged in December 2020.

Two of Moses' ex-girlfriends came forward and revealed that Moses stealthed them, stealthing is the act of removing a condom during sex without the partner's acknowledgment or consent. Trisha initially ignored the SA allegations, despite preaching, "believe all SA victims," sent her Trishy Fishies to overwhelm the ex-girlfriends into silence. She insists they are lying, trying to chase clout and that Moses would never do such a thing.

Ethan Klein, Hila Klein & H3 Podcast

In 2019, Ethan Klein uploaded a video called "Instagram vs. Reality" in which he highlights the illusion and unrealistic expectations of one's appearance that IG creators perpetuate to a potentially young following. This resulted in Trisha coming onto the H3 Podcast for two interviews.

In 2020, Ethan and Trisha decided to do a podcast together, called Frenemies. This resulted in an extremely popular podcast that was enjoyed by millions of people, however, it wasn't all great. Trisha has stormed off the podcast three times. Trisha threw Ethan's pill addiction he had in Israel in his face, insulted him and Hila's parenting, shamed them for having a nanny, called Ethan a "cuck," and called Hila a "c*nt." She was jealous that they constantly talked about Hila's pregnancy announcement. She has frequently and shamelessly flirted with Ethan, who was uncomfortable and kept asking her to stop doing that, which she never did.

She also kicked Ethan's dogs, demanded Moses to "get rid of his cats," and went on Keemstar's podcast to talk shit about Ethan, while wearing the Frenemies merch as a "fuck you" to Ethan.

Here is a video that goes into the details before, during, and the aftermath of Frenemies.

The Rabbit Chair Incident

Trisha uploaded a video, called "Our Tim Burton Inspired Beetlejuice Dining Room + Decor," where she showcases her Tim Burton-inspired dining room set, complete with custom-made dining chairs that had rabbit skin attached to the back of the chairs. Due to massive backlash, she removed the section of the vlog where she confirms with Moses that it is real rabbit fur.

BONUS (02/10/2022) - Lil Radio Gamer made a rap song dissing Trisha and Moses about the rabbit chairs!

Going Vegan

After receiving backlash for the rabbit chairs, Trisha announces that she is "I'm officially vegan now," she goes vegan for two weeks and accidentally consumes a tiny bite-sized SNICKERS bar, and uploads "my apology to the vegan community," in which she laments over eating a tiny piece of chocolate, says how intense going vegan is, it's so hard and apologizes to the vegan community, also says, at 8:07 "To all of you non-vegans out there, shame on you for eating meat. You're going to get your karmic hell here on Earth!"

In a recent video, titled "I'm Fat and Ugly" she admitted to having cheese on nachos and baked ziti, but then later in the video admitted to an entire week of binging. This is important because of the timing. She manipulated her audience into thinking that she had been vegan for approximately two weeks and then made that stupid Snickers video. However, the ‘I’m Fat’ video was recorded previously, but yet she waited to put it out. She purposefully misled her audience to gain attention (attention from the vegan community, along with purposefully causing outrage for the nasty remarks she made against those who consume animal products in the Snickers video) and sympathy (failed weight loss).

u/alice-in-slumberland has done a video on Trisha's trolling of the vegan community over the years, please feel free to check it out!

Conclusion

Trisha is a pathological liar who thrives off any kind of publicity and attention, she delights in creating drama out of thin air. She consistently rides the waves of whatever is trending at the time in a desperate bid to remain relevant (e.g. mental illness, mukbangs/eating, dieting/weight loss, political views/political movements, veganism, and being trans/non-binary) to her followers.

Trisha Paytas condemns people who body-shame others, yet delights in bringing attention to Nicovado's recent weight gain to others. She delivers confusing messages to her followers, she bounces between being proud of being fat and then feeling disgusted, she cries about how fat she looks and goes to get liposuction done (e.g. She released the THICK music video on 20th Feb 2017, promoting body positivity while she got a liposuction procedure done immediately afterward (This video puts Week 6 post-op of liposuction meaning this places the liposuction procedure the day the THICK music video was uploaded. She later uploads a video boasting about how "being skinny is so much better" on 11 April 2017. She constantly goes on about how she hate watches many people on YouTube, then dares to chastise her audience for hate watching her.

CREDIT TO— u/Adapt_Evolve_Become

This will be updated as we move forward, and find new information.🩷

[cretaceousundead]

Honestly what even is the point in pride month anymore when what used to be the LBTQA+ community is now literally just the oppression club for bullies?

Trans people aren’t welcome. Transphobia is so fucking accepted now, not only from conservatives but even liberals.

Bi people are on ‘thin ice’, as the saying goes. We’re seen as Queer Lite. Only valid if we’re in a same sex relationship, but then we get told we’re basically gay anyway. When someone comes out as bi, let’s say a celeb comes out as bi, their fans celebrate, but it never comes across like they’re genuinely happy that this person felt comfortable coming out, it’s more like they’re just happy the person isn’t straight, cause we all know the only people gays hate more than bi and trans people are cishet people. Gays celebrating a celeb they like coming out as bi has always felt more like a “oh thank GOD they’re not straight” rather than a “I’m so happy for them”.

Recently I’ve seen LGBwithouttheT trending on Twitter allot, but let’s be real if they succeeded in booting the trans people out they’d start trending LGwithouttheB next.

Growing up I saw the community, back then simply called the LGBT community, as simply a community of people who were anything other than straight or cis.

If lesbians and gays ever succeeded in claiming this so called ‘community’ for themselves they’d start fighting amongst each other as well over whose more oppressed. Obviously the general consensus would be that lesbians are more oppressed than gay guys because “US POOR OPPRESSED WOMYN!!”. So then the fighting would begin between lesbians and other lesbians.

White lesbians vs lesbians of colour. The lesbian of colour would be the winner of ‘most oppressed’.

Then it would be lesbian of colour with mental illnesses or trauma ve lesbians of colour without mental illnesses or trauma.

It will never fucking end.

When I was younger, before I even realised I was part of the community myself, I thought it was just a community for people who weren’t cis or straight at a time when those people often didn’t fit in with people who were cis and straight.

But now it’s the oppression club. It’s not about acceptance. It’s not about equality. It’s not about having a community to feel at home. It’s a “you must be THIS oppressed to ride this ride”.

The LGBTQA+ community barely exists anymore. There’s no sense of community anymore. There’s no kindness. There’s just hatred and bullying so honestly what’s the point in pride month? Why is it still a thing, what ‘pride’ are you people talking about? Because I don’t see anyone with anything to be prideful about anymore. Trans people are referring to as ‘things’ and ‘freaks of nature’. Bi people are either gays with internalised homophobia or straight people trying to be special. Gay guys are oppressing lesbians just by being male. White lesbians are oppressing lesbians of colour.

The whole point of the community was that at a time when we actually were hated or the very least not understood by cishet people, we needed a community of our own to feel at home in and safe.

But cishet people are not out biggest enemies anymore, most decent cishet people support us. I, as a bisexual woman, feel more comfortable around my cishet male friend than I did at the most recent pride parade I went to because I spent half the time there wondering how many of the people waving around rainbow flags spend their free time on the internet being transphobic and/or biphobic, whereas I know that my friend doesn’t care about my sexuality and loves me for me and supports me for who I am however I am.

Speaking of cishet people, I’m sick to death of being told by my own so called community that I simultaneously don’t belong here AND that y’all are the only people I can trust because cisheta are my enemy. When I reality the majority of the bigotry I’ve ever experienced has come from gay people not straight people.

It reminds me of radical feminists telling women that men are the ones we should be fearing while they simultaneously abuse us and bully us when we want female abusers acknowledged or when we even so much as say that we don’t hate men.

You use bigotry by cishets as a way to shield yourself from critisism for your own bigotry.

Where’s the fucking pride? Theres no pride. There’s just hatred. There’s no sense of community or belonging. The community doesn’t fucking exist anymore. So what’s the point in pride month. According to the self appointed leaders of the community, A.K.A the people who see themselves as the most oppressed, pretty much nobody actually belongs in the community. And if we don’t belong here then what’s the point in pride month? Who does pride month exist for?

[officalheydenjh]

ARTIST RESEARCH

I wanted to attempt to make an outcome using typography as it's not something I have delved into completely yet despite how I enjoyed the taster we got in year one.

MARS WRIGHT

Mars Wright is a trans man and trans activist that I have followed for a few years. He focuses mainly on apparel and shirt designs but he has made several art prints that incorporates typography.

He also makes work about deconstructing toxic masculinity which is quite an unspoken phenomenon in the trans masculine community and was something I had to tackle quite hard myself. One of Wright's more notable works would have to be the mural he was commissioned to do by projectQ which reads "Trans Joy is Resistance":

KEVIN FRANKLIN

Kevin Franklin was responsible for one of the most iconic designs for the LGBT community in the UK. In partnership with LGSM, a benefit concert was held in the Electric Ballroom, Camden. Franklin was commissioned to design a poster for this concert and he did a fantastic job. They raised £5650 (around £20k in today's money) which went towards helping mining families in South Wales (my area!).

I believe this poster was made using a screen printing method.

SASHA ALLEN

Sasha Allen is a trans singer and song writer. He recently wrote a song called "Bones" that was originally created to respond to a hate comment but because of Sasha's clever lyrics, people wanted to hear more and so a song was made.

Here are some lyrics from the song I found to be especially powerful:

This lyric is referring to the hypothetical anthropologists finding Sasha's bones years in the future and not assuming he's a woman simply because of his skeleton. This lyric really spoke to me as I have been told many times that when my bones are found, they won't see me as male. This has always bothered me as it isn't correct and it assumes we will always be as closed-minded as we have in the past.

This lyric is especially clever in its rhyming and accuracy. There is always the saying of being on the wrong side of history and there is always the chance to hop over to the correct side. I also like the use of the metaphor of dying on a hill as many transphobic individuals do.

This lyric struck a chord with me. As a trans person, I have always struggled with the idea of being "clocked" which is a term coined by the trans community to refer to someone other than yourself realising you are trans. This can come in the form of someone straight up outing you to a group or people who have good intentions and suggest you're an "egg" (another term coined by the trans community to describe someone who hasn't transitioned/doesn't know if they're trans but shows signs of being trans). Being clocked as a trans person can sometimes be dangerous, or even fatal. A lot of transphobic individuals will say they can spot a trans person from a mile away but couldn't point out a trans person in a line up when actually put to the test. There is an insistence that trans people are so different to their cis counter parts that it almost becomes a parody that people are looking out for.

Based on Sasha’s song, I created an image to illustrate the point of the song;

[illgiveyouahint]

hey so I probably should give more context

I am bi and that’s the first time I’ve been referred as a f*g hag. The person who referred me to that was a gay guy who’s a bit younger than I. If I’m being honest I really don’t like the word f*g or f*gg*t. I feel like it’s one of those words that no matter how much we try to reclaim it it’s not a good word. I feel like I probably should do more research into it because there’s probably some misogyny involved in that word.

I think you’re correct in saying what you said in my previous answer and if it happens again I’ll be sure to tell him but yeah - it’s tricky waters tbh which I don’t want to get into but I think you know what I mean.

I'm so sorry anon that it happened to you.

My experience with people who use the term f*g hag is that it's almost always privileged white cis gay men who will not use the word queer or lgbt but rather call it the "gay community" and "gay flag" and "gay bars" and "gay cinema". They have a very narrow understanding of the community and will claim that reason we have pride is because of gay men. They've never really known or cared about anyone who isn't a potential sexual partner and so they have never seen a lesbian film or anything with a trans character. They tend to be biphobic and transphobic and also indeed misogynistic. They will call you straight and want a prove of same-sex attraction if you correct them on your bisexuality. They will then proceed to call you lesbian even if you again correct them. They will tell you that you're just a lesbian who hasn't yet fully came out yet and that your bisexuality is just a stepping stone. They will ignore man's bisexuality and get angry if said man is attracted to a woman. This has been my experience at least but it seems to be a particular set of person. I have yet to meet anyone who'd use this word in a reclaiming or positive sort of way.

As for the word f*g itself it's difficult. I personally don't like it and would not use it but I do know some people who will occasionally use it in a reclaimatory way. I think it's up to each individual (at least for now - there are words that are by and large reclaimed and are not considered slurs like the word queer). I would never use the words on others but what they choose to call themselves it's up to them. Like I know plenty of lesbians who use the word dyke as a self-identifier and I know roma people who identify as "cikán" (g*psy in my language), I have a trans friend who jokingly refer to herself as a "tranny" from time to time but for her I think it is sort of a self-deprecation and I do want to talk to her about it. Nevertheless I think one shouldn't really be using the word on others and if you connect it to the word hag it makes it automatically have misogynistic connotations.

[dreastmilk]

Hello! Happy June! It's Pride and I have another question (7/30)

Hello hello, today we are going to take a dive into the word "Gay".

The word gay dates back all the way to the 12th century, and comes from the Old French word "Gai" meaning "full of joy or mirth". This word might have evolved from the Old German word "Gahi" meaning "impulsive", however this is unconfirmed.

This was in use for centuries to mean any version of happy, carefree, mirthful, joyful or bright, and didn't have any sexual/sexuality link until roughly the 1600s.

At that point, the "carefree" gay started being used to call a person immoral or promiscuous, and the Oxford English Dictionary defined it at the time as "addicted to pleasure and dissipations. Often euphemistically: of loose and immoral life". So, a prostitute eventually became known as a "gay woman", and somewhat ironically now, a "gay man" was a womanizer or a man who had a lot of sex with woman (especially prostitutes). This also meant that a "Gay House" was a perfectly normal way of saying "Brothel", and this is also where the word "Gaiety" comes from ("lively celebration or festivities" <- it is a common word in theatre names nowadays).

Then in the 1890s, the term "Gey Cat" ("gey" was a Scottish version of "gay") was used to refer to a "younger man in the company of an older man" or a man who offered sexual services in return for food/protection. Because of the implications of "sexual submission2 in the first definition, this phrase is thought to be the origin of "gay" as "homosexual", rather than just as "sexual deviant".

In 1951, the Oxford English Dictionary for the first time defined "gay" as slang for "homosexual", but this usage was in less mainstream communities at least 30 years earlier, specifically in US prisons and homeless camps.

"Bringing Up Baby" in 1938 is probably the first movie to use "gay" in its modern context. Cary Grant wears a lady's feathery robe in one scene, and when asked why he ad-libbed "Because I just went gay". (<- however, it is unlikely that "mainstream audiences" understood this, and likely thought he meant the carefree definition)

So, with all these definitions, I want to ask you, what makes you feel ""gay""? (any definition you want! :))

Happy Pride 🌈 🎉

Weirdly enough, liking men is what makes me feel gay. As someone who grapples with whether or not I am cis it feels weird to call what most would consider to be heterosexual attraction "gay" (for clarity I am afab), but when I was first learning about lgbt or queer people I tried to staunchly only like women. I felt like I had to be a part of the group in some way, and liking men meant I wasn't.

Now that I'm a bit older and more experienced with the world, me realising that I love men and it's okay to do that and being to express that freely has made me feel more at ease with myself. I feel very comfortable with the term "gay" in relation to myself, more than any term. Even if I do realise that I am cis or decide to comfortably use she/her pronouns (unlikely but possible) using straight just doesn't fit with who I am.

Long ramble aside, liking men is what makes me feel the most gay ahaha

[transmascore]

i think one of my main insecurities about being trans is being lonely. how do you cope with knowing so many people don’t see you as a man and even though you introduce as one, they don’t think of you that way?

The way I see it, not everyone has to see me as a man. There's a lot of hateful people in the world, and it's not up to me or to you or to any other individual trans person to prove ourselves to them.

Early in my transition, I'd spend hours typing or talking until I was blue in the face, trying to explain transness and justify my identity to people who were not speaking with me in good faith. People who had no intention of learning or changing their ways. And there's no reason to waste your time on people like that.

The people you want to concern yourself with are the people that WILL see you as a man. And even if they don't quite understand the nuances of trans identity (as is the case with a lot of well-meaning cis allies), as long as those people treat you with respect and as an equal, that's what matters. I get a lot of "I don't get it, but..." from my family members for example. It's hard for them to understand trans identity because it's so far removed from their own experiences. But at the end of the day, they do see me as a man and refer to me as such.

Ultimately, what matters to me is that my friends see me as a man, that potential partners do, that my family does, and that my employers do. And sure, I would prefer that strangers see me as a man as well - I don't like being misgendered. But I don't care if, say, some right-wing troll sees me as a woman. Why would I? That person has garbage opinions anyhow.

Sometimes you just gotta tell yourself: "Fuck 'em." Fuck the people that don't respect your manhood, and find people that do.

Trans loneliness is a very real phenomenon, especially for those who are newly-out or those who haven't had the benefit of growing up in a community with a lot of trans people. If you're in college, this is the best time to reach out and make friends. To join clubs and organizations and talk to people in your classes. If not, it can be a little harder. But if you look up your city or town online, see if there's any local LGBT groups or events coming up. Look for local Facebook groups you can join, too.

Real life networking is still something I'm working on, but I've had very good experiences so far. I've been to craft markets, art swaps, potlucks, and pride marches. Near me, there's even book clubs and tabletop gaming clubs.

And there's always the internet! Discord servers in general can be a bit of a hit or miss but I've met a lot of really great people by joining servers for TV shows. I met my first boyfriend through Star Trek, and my first DND group through Our Flag Means Death.

I wish you luck on your journey. In the meantime, hold strong. Know that there's a lot of people that are out there that will love you and support you, you just gotta find them. And everyone else? Not your problem. You can't please everybody on this earth, so work on making sure that you are happy.

[emptymasks]

Fluidphobia and transphobia in episode 5 of Loki

16 minutes in. “Have any of you ever met a woman variant of us?” “No, never.” “Sounds terrifying.” I don’t even have words for how much that made me want to cry. That’s so unbelievably stupidly fluidphobic. Loki is also a woman, Loki is genderfluid, it’s likely all Loki variants are. So by saying that Loki has never seen himself as a woman is incorrect, it sounding ‘terrifying’ is beyond upsetting, and all of it is fluidphobic. (And also one of the variants with President Loki is played by a female actor anyway so??)

This is disgusting. It’s pure fludphobia. And if this was homophobia or transphobia you all would be talking way more about it. Posts talking against it would be getting more notice. The media would be talking about it. The Marvel team would have to address it. But no one cares enough about genderfluid voices.

And they had the audacity to say this:

It would have been better if they’d just not made MCU Loki genderfluid. I can’t believe I’m saying that. But the fact that they had the audacity to boast about how great they were for doing it, and then gave us fluidphobic representation. Not no representation, bad representation. I’d rather no representation that bad representation. At least no representation can’t create new slurs used against genderfluid people. No representation can’t create misunderstandings about how genderfluid have to shape-shift to be a different gender, how they’re a different person when they’re a different gender. No representation wouldn’t have caused the surge in fluidphobia in the fandom. Just yesterday a tweet was going around and getting popular saying Sylvie can’t be genderfluid because her name is ‘Laufeydottir’... Even though Loki’s is ‘Laufeyson’ and he’s genderfluid you know almost like someone can change what their assgined-at-birth gender is. 

And it goes beyond fluidphobia into pure transphobia when you see “sex: fluid”. Parts of the fandom are now saying “sexfluid” to refer to genderfluid people. It’s not only now basically become a slur, but think about the implications. ‘Sexfluid’ means someone must change their genitalia when they’re identifying as another gender. That’s fluidphobic because of course real genderfluid people can’t shapeshift. However, it’s also transphobic because it implies that in order to be a woman Loki must have a vulva, meaning that one needs a vulva in order to be a woman, meaning that they’re implying trans women without vulva’s aren’t really women. That’s a transmed belief, a transphobic belief. You could look at that and say I’m reaching, or that I’m reading too much into it. But sex and gender don’t mean the same thing and this is how fans are using the word, this is what viewers of the show think the words means. 

I’m not talking about the fans on here, or even the fans on Twitter, I’m talking about the majority of Marvel viewers. Because the majority aren’t part of fandom communities, aren’t part of LGBT+ communities, they don’t go on social media to look at what people are saying about the show, and all they know about genderfluidity is what they see in this show.  And even then, just search “Loki female self” on Twitter and there are hundreds of people calling Sylvie that. The main stream media keep calling Sylvie “Lady Loki’”in their articles. ScreenRant keeps doing it, official Loki merch on Gamestop is doing it.

I’m not sorry if me talking about this and complaining is ruining your experience of watching the show, that just means before you were ignorant to the fluidphobia in the series. I’m not saying the show should be cancelled, I’m not saying you can’t watch it or you can’t enjoy watching it because I’m still watching it, I’m still finding moments I enjoy in it. You can be critical of something and still watch and enjoy it.

EDIT: you know what? “that’s terrifying” is also kinda fucking sexist

[richardsondavis]

This post will NOT cover everything that took place in GamerGate. That simply isn't possible here. GamerGate wasn't one drama, it was many small and large events that unfolded and built upon each other over a period of years, and took place in every part of the internet at once. My aim here is to lay out the key figures, and give a general understanding of what happened and why. There are resources linked throughout the post which can expand on events I mentioned, but there are many more that I left out.

Come with me as we explore the dark corridors of the internet that gave birth to the modern alt-right. I'm going to try and keep this gaming related, because this isn't a political discussion board, but references to greater political movements are unavoidable.

Be warned, this post contains basically every ism and phobia that you could possible imagine. Tread with care.

Also, when I refer to 'gamers' with a lowercase G, I just mean normal gamers as a whole. When I say 'Gamers', I mean Gamergate supporters.

Anita Sarkeesian - Sexism in Gaming

This shitstorm began in 2013, though its roots trace back far earlier, and while it would come to suck in thousands of pundits, politicians and thinkers from around the world, it began with one woman: Anita Sarkeesian.

Anita is a Canadian-American media critic. She started her Youtube Channel Feminist Frequency in 2009, analysing portrayals of women in pop culture. In 2011 she worked with feminist magazine Bitch to create a series of videos titled 'Tropes vs Women', which examined the damaging cliches and stereotypes against women in film and tv. It did pretty well, but she was still a small voice in a small circle. The natural next step was to talk about games, and that's what she did in 2012. 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games' criticised the sexualisation of women in games, the way they are treated as helpless damsels in distress, or given to the player as a reward. As Sarkeesian herself points out in her first episode:

"It's both possible and necessary to simultaneously enjoy media, while also being critical of its problematic or pernicious aspects'.

The videos were pretty even handed, and never really took the 'rabid angry feminist' tone that people have come to portray. I recommend taking a look. Anita was clearly not much of a 'gamer' herself, but she saw the positives that could be drawn from them.

In order to fund the project, Anita created a Kickstarter - which was all the rage back then. The kickstarter drew attention from every corner. Some of it was positive - she asked for $6000, but ended up with almost 7000 backers and $160,000 pledged. However a lot of it was bad.

Keep in mind that this all took place at a very critical moment in the feminist movement. Tumblr and Twitter were at their height, and a lot of positive momentum was being made. The video game industry was gradually becoming more inclusive too. Games at the time were - to much controversy - including more POC, women, and LGBT characters. But at the same time, a push began against this. A lot of men were feeling alienated by the rapid change, and this negative stance on feminism tended to look past the majority (who were pretty reasonable) and focus only on the minority of feminists who were explicitly anti-male. And in time, the progressive community would make the same mistake with gamers. But for now, it was these anti-feminists who saw the premise of Sarkeesian's videos as a threat toward 'their territory' - the male oriented video game industry. Anita became the poster child for everything these men hated. There was a coordinated effort on 4chan to destroy her Kickstarter, to DDOS the site, to report her twitter accounts, and otherwise eliminate her. It got pretty nasty. At the time it was a bit of a shocker just how nasty it got, but little did we know it was just the start.

A number of articles started to surface on various sites documenting the bizarre outrage, and that only lent it more momentum. Kotaku, Polygon, and other more left-leaning gaming news sites headed the exposure.

Anita received enormous harassment on social media, including vast numbers of rape and death threats, and she was doxxed multiple times (a practice in which a person's home address is posted online). Her wikipedia articles were vandalised with racial and sexual slurs, and she was sent drawings of herself being raped. A video game was created, 'Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian', in which players cover a photo of her in blood by clicking on it. Critics who disparaged the 'game' received death threats themselves. The creator of the game, Gregory Alan Elliot, was taken to court. The case had significant implications for online freedom of speech in Canada. She was accused of being Jewish, and received enormous amounts of antisemitism dubbing her Jewkeesian, until it came to light that her heritage was actually Armenian - and the harassment switched to an Armenian theme without skipping a beat.

Anita capitalised on her infamy, and used it to speak out on sexual harassment at TEDxWomen, as well as several universities. She was scheduled to speak at the 2014 Game Developer's Choice Awards, and would receive an accolade herself, but an anonymous bomb threat was called in to try and get the event cancelled. It really is hard to overstate the sheer level of vitriol this woman had thrown at her. But she would not be the only one.

"I don't get to publicly express sadness or rage or exhaustion or anxiety or depression, I can't say that sometimes the harassment really gets to me, or conversely that the harassment has become so normal that sometimes I don't feel anything at all. I don't get to express feelings of fear or how tiring it is to be constantly vigilant of my physical or digital surroundings. How I don't go to certain events because I don't feel safe. Or how I sit in the more secluded areas of coffee shops and restaurants so the least amount of people can recognise me."

Zoe Quinn - Ethics in Journalism

Zoe Quinn is an American video game developer and writer. In 2013, she released the game 'Depression Quest', a text-based game in which the player roleplays as themselves and is taken through a number of scenarios relating to depression. The game was based on her own experiences, and was received positively by critics. It's a raw and heartfelt project, and I really recommend it. However, there was a contingent who insisted that Depression Quest couldn't really be called a game, and it's true that it blurred the lines between a book, a visual novel, and a game.

This began a broad - and still ongoing - conversation within the gaming community. What is a game? People tried to come up with a clear cut definition, but there was always something that fell outside it. Does it need a failure state? That rules out Animal Crossing, which is definitely a game. Does it need an end point? That rules out Tetris. Does it need violence? Does it need characters? Does it need interactivity? Does it need choice? Does it need goals? Does it need visuals or sound? It's easy to look at most games and say 'yes, that's a game'. It's easy to look at a book or film and say it isn't. But when projects approach the line, things get a bit confusing. There are those who looked at Depression Quest and saw a book with extra steps, and there are those who insisted it was a game, but with all the extraneous stuff taken away. This is a massive philosophical debate, but we're here for drama, so let's move on. All you need to know is - it got great reviews, and some players were unhappy.

Zoe was added to the list of persona non grata. She received her own wave of death and rape threats, but rather than backing away, she documented them and spoke out about them to the media. This earned her even more hatred, which steadily grew more and more intense, to the point where she fled her home out of fear for her own safety.

But it wasn't until August 2014 that 'GamerGate' as we know it would officially begin. And it started at the hands of a relative unknown name, even now. Zoe's former boyfriend Eron Gjoni published a long and sprawling blog post about their relationship in which he levelled a number of accusations against her, the most inflammatory of which was that she had been given positive coverage (of Depression Quest, among other things) by a Kotaku journalist with whom she was sexually involved. This was a false accusation. It later came out that this journalist, Nathan Grayson, had barely ever mentioned Quinn or her work, and when he did, they hadn't been together. But never let the truth get in the way of a good story. The letter included copies of chat logs, text messages, and emails, and for all the world appeared to be legit.

The Gamers in question accused Zoe of exchanging sexual favours for positive press and professional advancement in what they called the 'Quinnspiracy'. Of course, Zoe Quinn stood to gain nothing from the praise Depression Quest received. Contrary to the claims that she was using her status as a woman to gain money... the game was free. And always had been. But this spawned one 'debate' which would go on to define GamerGate - that of ethics in game journalism. Video game press came under enormous scrutiny, especially the left-leaning Kotaku. The idea was that if a pundit/reviewer/critic was left leaning, their views could not be relied upon, because according to GamerGate, they were biased. Large lists were created to map out the various 'SJW Journalists', which boiled down to a blacklist of public figures who spoke out against GamerGate.

But for Zoe, it just meant abuse.

A lot of this began on 4chan - because of course it did - and users leapt at the chance to renew their attacks on Zoe Quinn and Depression Quest. Adam Baldwin (yes that one) coined the term GamerGate on Twitter, and his followers sent it trending. GamerGate gradually developed into a movement which would viciously attack anyone it saw as a target, and had its base in 4chan and Reddit.

Within four months of the blog post, Quinn's record of threats had exceeded a thousand. Around that time she is quoted as saying:

"I used to go to game events and feel like I was going home [...] Now it's just like... are any of the people I'm currently in the room with ones that said they wanted to beat me to death?".

I would go into detail on the exact content of these threats but frankly, I don't want to. All you need to know is that they contain the worst possible things that some very creative people could come up with. Quinn's Tumblr, Dropbox and Skype accounts were hacked, and she once again fled to live with friends. Everyone even tangentially connected to her got showered with hatred. It was a full on witch hunt.

In a BBC interview, Zoe summed up her experience.

"To me, GamerGate will always be glorified revenge porn by my angry ex. Before it had a name, it was nothing but trying to get me to kill myself, trying to hurt me, going after my family. GamerGate will always be that to me. There was no mention of ethics in journalism at all, besides making the same accusation everybody makes toward any successful women, that clearly she got to where she is because she had sex with someone".

EDIT: There was a section here in which I covered the Alec Holowka scandal in 2019, but commenters pointed out that it isn't really relevant to GamerGate, and I agree with them, so I removed it.

Brianna Wu - Taking Action

Wu is an American video game developer and the founder of Giant Spacekat, a small game studio. In October 2014, she began monitoring 8chan (think 4chan's even worse cousin), and began tweeting about GamerGate, ridiculing them for:

"...fighting an apocalyptic future where women are 8 percent of programmers and not 3 percent".

In the process, she placed herself in the sights of the mob. Anonymous details about her, including her address, were leaked on 8chan, and of course she got the standard death and rape threats, and had to flee her home. If this seems like it's becoming a pattern, that's because it is. The pattern would repeat itself over and over going forward. A minor figure speaks out about something, right wingers try to shut them up with abuse, they use that abuse to increase their platform (thereby becoming a minor left wing celebrity), they become an even bigger target, and they soon end up plastered across the internet.

But to the fury of many Gamers everywhere, none of these women were backing down. In February 2015, Wu declared:

"By attacking me so viciously, they're helping give me the visibility to usher in the very game industry they're terrified about".

Wu created a legal defence fund for women targeted by GamerGate, offered cash for information leading to the prosecution of its worst members, and became heavily involved with the FBI. She exclusively attended events with a security detail. As of today, she and her husband continue to live under aliases.

In 2017, the FBI closed their investigation and declined to prosecute any of the men who sent threats (even though two had confessed). Wu went to the media, campaigning for dedicated FBI agents who understand and monitor the dark corners of the internet like 8chan.

While Wu, Sarkeesian and Quinn would become the three horsewomen of the GamerGate apocalypse, they were not alone. Other women who became major targets include Jenni Goodchild, Liana Kerzner, Devi Ever, Leigh Alexander, Felicia Day, and more. It simply isn't possible to cover every single victim of this movement.

At the time, most people who played video games had no idea this was even going on. And often it was getting swept up in generalisations that turned regular gamers into Gamers. There were those who felt like they were being unfairly portrayed as sexist/racist/whatever else, and responded indignantly. This became heavily involved with the #notallmen and #yesallmen movements (and then #notallgamers). But sometimes those generalisations were right. There was a lot of anger going around in general.

Vivian James - Politics in Gaming

Of course, to the 4channer, the ideal woman doesn't exist. She has to be created. And so Vivian was born. Vivian James (chosen because it sounds like Video Games) was created as a mascot for GamerGaters on 4chan, and her portrayal tells us a lot about what Gamers wanted women to be. She was an anthropomorphized avatar of the /v/ (Vidya) community on 4chan, created in response to a totally separate Zoe Quinn controversy surrounding game jams (events in which developers race to make weird and wacky games). She was used in propaganda as a champion of ‘free speech’.

You see, one of the many debates (and we must use this term loosely) that GamerGate created was that of 'politics' in gaming. Representation was increasing of LGBT people, POC and women in games, and some players insisted that these inclusions were politically motivated. They claimed that games as a medium were not meant to be 'political', and forcing 'politics' into the games was a negative thing. They wanted a return to the 'non-political' status quo - and it just so happened that the status quo was white straight American men (usually with guns). Because they themselves were mostly white straight American men, it never struck them as political for a game to feature a white straight American man, it was simply normal. The default. And any deviation from this was labelled as 'political'.

Of course, any intelligent person can see through this to its deeper meaning - these players didn't want gays, women, and non white characters in their games because they were prejudiced. All media is political in some way. Even games which try not to be political.

This is what GamerGate boils down to - a war over the status quo. One side pushing for change, the other pushing to stop that change.

Vivian never mentioned her gender, her ideas or her politics when she played a game - you could play against her and mistake her for a guy. Rather than disrupt the status quo by existing, she allowed it to absorb her. And that's what Gamers wanted from all minorities - they were welcome as long as they didn't disrupt games as a haven where everything is catered to the default player, a white straight American man. Vivian was a 'real gamer' because she embraced the default. Anyone who rejected that default was a fake gamer, whose love of games was a lie, and whose real purpose was sabotage.

This links in pretty heavily to the #NotYourShield movement, basically a platform for women, POC and LGBT Gamers who supported GamerGate and saw its opponents as exploiting them as a shield to deflect criticism. Ironically, GamerGate used these people as evidence that they were not prejudiced at all, in a very 'I'm not racist, my best friend is black' kind of way.

Penning the Playbook

GamerGate had found an effective way of tearing down its targets, and its playbook would come to include strategies like gaslighting, dogpiling, sea lioning, gish galloping, and dogwhistling - and would inform the strategies of the alt right. By creating a state of fear, where people are too scared to even speak against GamerGate, they were able to silence opposition. And unlike its opposition, who were very real and public figures, GamerGate was decentralised and anonymous, akin to a swarm with no individual leader or face, and which therefore was incredibly hard to defeat. This was never a two way street. Of course, GamerGate had its open and public supporters. Let's go through a few of these colourful characters now!

Carl Benjamin (Sargon of Akkad)

Sargon is your standard basement dweller youtuber, the kind of guy who DESTROYS libs with FACTS and REASON. He gained a lot of traction from GamerGate, and he explains why here. You can kind of imagine him as a more extreme Ben Shapiro.

Richard Spencer

Another Nazi. Richard Spencer was a big supporter of GamerGate. You can look into himself if you like but frankly I don't want to do the research into him because that means I have to watch and read shit he has said. His main claim to fame is being the man who coined the term 'Alt Right'

John Bain (Totalbiscuit)

Totalbiscuit was a popular game critic who died of bowel cancer in 2018. He is widely credited with being the man who legitimised GamerGate. It should be pointed out that Bain was never a white supremacist or abuser or anything like that - and he is often wrongly characterised as being more extreme than he really is. He was conservative, aggressive and thin skinned, but he wasn't evil. To him, GamerGate was always about ethics in journalism, what defines a game, and politics in gaming. He had been an ethical crusader long before GamerGate, and so none of this is truly surprising. He was either incredibly naive or just wilfully ignored the fact that these online movements were just fronts. It is somewhat ironic how much he had in common with James Stephanie Sterling (once known as Jim Sterling before transitioning), another British pro-consumer activist and long-time collaborator, who was always on the total opposite end of the GamerGate spectrum. Indeed, most of John's closest associates were anti-GamerGate.

I met TB once at a convention and he seemed nice enough.

Milo Yiannopoulos

During his time working at Breitbart, Milo was an outspoken supporter of GamerGate. His big thing was that he was a gay right-winger, and he used his homosexuality to deflect criticism for his views. He has since been banned from basically every site possible. Like many others, he seemed somewhat right leaning at first, but gradually unveiled himself as a full on nazi.

Steven Jay Williams (Boogue2988)

Boogie is a youtuber who came to fame through the persona of 'Francis', in which he would put on a funny voice and rage about minor things. But gradually he became more popular just for being himself, and his own views. When GamerGate first emerged, Boogie tried to stay moderate, but his views got more and more extreme as time went on. In 2017, Boogie had a gastric bypass surgery, which made him lose weight. But after that, he revealed himself to be quite a nasty person.

Christina Hoff Sommers

Sommers is an author and philosopher of ethics, and a resident scholar of the American Enterprise Institute. She is probably the most 'legit' of GamerGate's supporters, and has carved out a niche in making right wing talking points palatable to the average person, before they move on to the more extreme online figures.

EDIT: Steve Bannon

As a commenter pointed out to me, I've left out someone important. While Steve Bannon himself was not very strongly linked to GamerGate, he was the founder of the heavily right wing site Breitbart, which gave a platform to Milo Yiannopoulos and many others. Bannon would go on to play a pivotal role in the Trump presidency.

Sexism in Gaming Studios

While this is far removed from GamerGate, it's a case of 'the birds coming home to roost'. The movements that GamerGate helped to start have returned and taken many large game developers by storm in recent years. I thought I would go over some of them.

Part 1: The Fellowship of the Rats

The first big publisher to go under the magnifying glass was Ubisoft. In mid 2020 they came under fire for sexual harassment allegations.

Last month the company, one of the world’s largest video game publishers with a portfolio including Assassin’s Creed and Far Cry, launched a probe after allegations of sexual misconduct were shared online. Serge Hascoet, chief creative officer and the company’s second-in-command, has resigned, as has the human resources director, Cecile Cornet, and the managing director of the Canadian branch, Yannis Mallat, Ubisoft said on Sunday.

MANY of Ubisoft's executives were forced to stand down.

This video goes into a lot of detail on exactly how much of this abuse was covered up at Ubisoft.

Unfortunately a year later, Ubisoft had made minimal changes. Luckily for them, the spotlight would soon be stolen away.

Part 2: The Two Lawsuits

This particular controversy concerns Activision Blizzard. After a two year investigation, the company was found to have extreme harassment against women and minorities, and has discrimination baked into its terms and conditions of employment. Everything from compensation, assignment, promotion and termination is affected by gender. The entire company is governed by a 'Frat Boy Culture'. California's Department of Fair Employment and Housing filed a lawsuit against them..

At first, Blizzard's president Allen Brack claimed no knowledge of this. But then numerous former and current Blizzard employees spoke up to support the accusations. They insisted that almost nothing was being done within the company to fix it. On 26 June, more than 800 employees (eventually as many as 2000) signed an open letter too their leadership demanding that Blizzard recognise the seriousness and show compassion for victims. When that didn't work, employees held a meeting and on 28 July, organised the Activision Blizzard Walk Out For Equality. Turnout exceeded two hundred.

Renowned scumbag Bobby Kotick released a statement describing Blizzard's earlier statement as 'tone deaf' and promised 'swift action'.

An article by Kotaku went into more detail on the infamous 'Cosby Suite', and revealed that Ghostcrawler (one a high-up on World of Warcraft) was on the list of guests.

Numerous developers left the company, either in protest or due to allegations against them. More and more horrible stories began to emerge, far worse than the original lawsuit had uncovered. Sponsors pulled out, investors filed a class action lawsuit toward the company, and Brack stepped down.

You can read more about it here

Hilariously, Blizzard also completely neutered any remotely sexual or flirtatious lines, emotes and jokes out of WoW.

Part 3: The Return of the Gamers

Since then, numerous other companies have been accused of similar problems. Paradox Interactive, SCUF, Insomniac Games, Bethesda. In fact, it might be easier to list the gaming companies that haven't had any allegations.

It turns out that the people who worked in these companies were often just as nasty as the fans.

Luckily, the reaction has been a far cry from GamerGate. On that, at least, we seem to have made some progress. And I suppose that's something to be optimistic about.

A Troubled Legacy

So what is the legacy of GamerGate? It never really 'concluded' or 'finished'. But if we zoom out on our scope a little, we see that it was just a tributary which flowed into the greater river of the alt-right. And from that river would spill forth Donald Trump, Pizzagate, Qanon, the Manosphere, and Incels. GamerGate was arguably just a microcosm of a much greater societal movement, not its cause, but it was the moment that young online conservatives began to push back against progressivism, and collectively organise. It was the moment where their techniques for censorship, propaganda and recruitment would be rewritten for the internet era. And it was the moment when thousands of online fascists looked around and realised their views weren't that rare after all.

The positive effects have been there too, however. The push back against Gamergate has definitely helped us recognise the dark corners of the internet, and also led to widespread changes in the industry. But the consequences of GamerGate have not yet fully shown themselves.

It's hard to say where it will all lead.