#leaving this in the tags bc its more of a vent

[daffodi1]

Genuine question, not meant as rhetorical or anything. Ik dismantling the gender binary is important and all, and I'm all for it as well as getting rid of gender roles. And I know that like, even if the gender binary isn't a thing, medical transition will exist regardless (or at least I hope so, bc I would not have survived this long without it even if my gender identity wasn't a problem). But like... if my identity as a man is important to me, how am I supposed to reconcile that? I know I shouldn't be fixated on any identity period and that I should probably just accept that regardless of gender, I am Me, but being a man has kinda been my shield against people just deciding I'm a woman and being done with it. Like, despite all of my feminine traits and interests, if I'm a man then I'm a man and they can't argue with that. And I guess I'm worried that if I don't have that anymore, I'll have nothing preventing people from just deciding I'm a woman. And maybe that is my problem-- maybe I should not be so opposed to the idea of being a woman but I can't help that I hate it when that's what every transphobic person has tried to shove down my throat all my life. So if anyone knows how to like... stop worrying about it, I would appreciate it bc I genuinely don't know how I'd be able to survive in the society we're supposed to want.

[arsenicflame]

heartbreaking! the tags and summary sound like the best fic in the world but it also sounds like it completely demonises Ed :(

[chiistarri]

what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group

[heyitslapis]

I don't have time for people who don't have time for me

I don't have time for people who don't have time for me

I don't have time for people who don't have time for me

[curiosityjams]

*

[elegyofthemoon]

In the cool, plush core of the moon sleeps a mouse as we speak, dreaming of a world lush and green, then golden and undulating, then chopping and churning, a world of many surfaces with skies of many moods.

When it awakes, it will poke its tiny head out of a crater and bask in your glow as it does every morning. Here, all is still and silent. On that sparkling planet in the deep black distance, the sun seems capricious. But the mouse lives in the abyss of the body and therefore with a unique perspective on its essence. The mouse sees what other life does not see.

One needn't worry about unbecoming for the sake of containing a sun. Clouds may blanket the atmosphere of a planet, but still there burns a sun. The spots on the sun's surface may grow and shrink and shift, but still there it burns. And if one decides to cool it down like a waning flame or expand it in a cataclysmic supernova, still there it burns, and one has the right to revoke the state of their existence and become new.

Because perhaps the truth is you are not the sun--not alone--but it is rather a part of you. Your body is the solar system, each planet a world within the body, and each knows this glow in different ways. Some are nurtured by its warmth, others by its distance. Regardless of the sun's changes, they stay the course encircling it.

The universe cannot be held back, harnessed, fully comprehended. It pulls at the seams of solar systems as it pulls on its own seams. In that unstoppable shifting, we stumble. Sometimes it feels like our love and light slips from our fingers, shattering irrevocably in our falls. But what makes us cannot be seperated from us, even in times where our essence is obscured.

There is always another life to appreciate your life, no matter what happens. And in the least, there is always a little mouse in you that understands you in telescopic clarity and offers forgiveness for every change--no matter what, right into the end of time.

❤

[green-eyes-and-orange-ties]

Theory for the SebAngelo/PeaceMessage feels

In our most beloved ep1.12 neither Ava Cross and Seb realise that Angelo has been shot - and surely after over an hour driving Angelo's shirt should have been soaked in blood!? Which got me to thinking what if Angelo doesn't bleed...

okay okay but hear me out -

We know that Angelo is 'augmented' and doesn't feel physical sensations so what if he is in some kind of semi-stasis? in that his nervous system is constantly off (until Seb touches him) and your nervous system regulates your heartbeat so if Angelo's is switched off it makes sense that his heart wouldn't beat and so would have far less bleeding from a gun shot...

AAAANNDD

this would mean Sebastian doesn't only get Angelo's heart racing but also that Seb is literally the first person in decades to make Angelo's heart beat at all

I am feeling totally normal about this (lying)

[purring-tiefling]

mgfdfgjpiopph hbh

[entropy-sea-system]

Hate when some tags break containment and get misinterpreted etc. etc.

[b0mblover]

Bubble Bath? WHERE??

By: J

Oh god lopt what have you dONE-

[disclaimer; do NOT put bubble bath in the toilet, it can clog pipes!]

(no tws)

i uh, haven’t actually wrote like this in a while huh? sorry this actually kinda sucks ass but it was haunting my brain.

(this is ur reminder that im not a writer btw)

uh lopt adopts a stray cat (no animal abuse i cant write that shit /srs) and puts bubble bath in the toilet bc he wants attention idk im not good at summeries

im sorry to all who reads this

—————

lopt could be, for lack of a better term, needy. 

mason, since he had met lopt, had always referred to lopt as a cat, considerring how he could want all the attention in the world one moment, then want to be alone for 100 years the next.

today was the former.

mason had been working on more pages for “conspiracy theory” for hours now, this dissatisfied lopt.

he didnt know everything about humans, but he knew that he often got tired of paperwork, so he knew (or at least assumed) that mason was overworking himself.

logically, according to lopt at least, he walked into the ‘office’ mason was working in, and started to bother him with random questions.

“hmmm would you say that being a journalist is comic or tragic?” he spoke 

“a pain in the ass is what it is” mason said before erasing another line

“no but really, what do you think it isssss”

mason stayed quiet for several minutes, sighing several times as he kept trying to rework his sentences.

lopt sighed, “fine, fine, i get your busy and all, but couldnt you at least take a liiiiittle break?” lopt said with a semi pleading voice

mason erased the same line again, staring at the page, before turning his head up to lopt, he sighed aswell,

“no, i cant. im sorry. you know i love you and all, but this is important. you *know* this.”

lopt looked at his eyes, seeing the exhaustion

“cmon not even 10 minutes? please???” lopt pleaded with his lover

“i will once i get to a place i can stop, and if youre going to stay and here, please try to be a little quieter”

mason hated scolding lopt, but sometimes he had to be treated as a child to make him understand.

and sometimes it backfired.

lopt sighed and walked out of the door behind mason, giving one glance at him before shutting the door behind him.

he went back up to his room to think of anything to do since his partner was busy, he knew that his work was important to him sure, but he couldnt understand just why he pushed himself to do it so much.

after an hour of laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, he decided to bring mason some fruit, it was partly an attempt to bring his boyfriend out of the room, but also just because it had been hours and he knew for a fact mason wasnt eating in there.

(UNRELATED BUT MY CAT IS SCREAMING RN AS I WRITE THIS AND HE FUCKINF WAS SCRATCHING ST THE DOOR NOB IM SOBBING HIW IS HE THAT LONG, HE JUST STRETCHED UP THERE ANYWAYS BRB TO GIVE HIM ATTENTION)

(alr back)

lopt cut up strawberries and peeled an orange for his partner, knocking in the door before opening it.

he sat the plate down on masons desk in front of him, hoping to draw his attention.

mason looked up 

“oh god what did you do.” 

“wha- i? nothing??? i didnt do anything? is it wrong to want to give you something to eat?” lopt fake pouted 

mason sighed “well thank you, but seriously. what did you do.”

“i didnt do anything! promise! not yet at least…” lopts voice trailed off

“uh huh…if you say so..” mason sounded like he didn’t believe him

lopt being and idiot that thought on the spot started to speak again;

“im gonna go onna walk okay? wanna come with?”

mason stared at lopts face, 

“its pissing cats and dogs outside, lopt. youre gonna get a cold”

(HELLO GAY PERSON SHO REFRENCE HOW ARE YO-) (srry not srry 🥰)

lopt sighed “ill be fine i swear! its not like..ill get hit by some truck..or.something….?” 

(i feel deja vu writing this line wtf)

lopt cut mason off “so im assuming that means you dont wanna come with?”

mason rubbed the bridge of his nose

“i love you, but no. i already will have to deal with one sick dumbass, better

not make it two”

lopt pouted before kissing mason on the cheek saying he’d be back soon enough.

he walked up the stairs to his room, he didnt really know why he said he was going to take a walk, it was raining like hell, and (catlike) lopt didnt prefer to get wet.

he sighed grabbing his house keys and phone just in case, before he walked out of his door he grabbed his wallet aswell, just out if habit.

lopt grabbed ‘his’ (more like masons community jacket) jacket, pulling the hood up and walking out the door, quietly shutting it behind him.

he walked down the side walk at a normal pace and past the park, 1/4 of a km down, he seen a cat, it looked to be 1-2 years old, missing half its right (front) leg and its left eye, it looked like a grey tabby, it seemed…familiar, to lopt.

it was stuck between two very narrow buildings, why would anyone even leave such a narrow gap? lopt helped free the cat, petting it (and just looking at it) he could see that the poor thing was soaked, gods know how long it was stuck there.

the cat purred and rubbed around lopts now wet pant legs, it was quite friendly, but he also knew that this cat was indeedly a ‘stray’, he had seen the cat one day, he looked around for its owner before a nice old lady informed him that she was a stray cat since her owner had died.

he picked up the cat, now deciding to go over to the pet store 3 blocks down (idk blocks i dont live in a place that has them sorry!)

now holding her, the cat snuggled into lopts semi wet t shirt that was now exposed from the zipper of his jacket accidentally being pulled down.

now walking, he tried to remember what the lady said, “something something her owner died of an overdose” he couldnt recall if it was said if it was on accident or not.

he also remembered the lady saying how no one would take the cat in, even after begging, it was mostly apartment complexes that didnt allow animals sure, but did no one really try?

he walked into the pet store, cat in hand/arms, he picked out a small bag of food, and some small toys, he would have to come back to get litter and such after he leaves the cat at home.

he payed for the items and started walking back, in another store window, something caught his eye.

(dont ask this is illogical but fuck it why not! for some context lopt is carrying the bags with one hand and cat in the other, chill ass cat)

it was bubble bath, typically meat for kids sure, but what was lopt if not a kid turned into a god (what)

(just assume they allow animals in there idk at this point 😭😭)

with on hand/arm lopt picked up around 5 bottles of bubble bath, he didnt have a plan in mind sure but he’d figure out some use for it.

lopt payed (again somehow only doing this with one hand) and left to go back home.

struggling to open the door, he set the bags down, twisting the knob, picking up the bags, and walked in.

he sat down the bags on the dining table, and decided to go show mason the cat.

.

.

“lopt you do know i’m allergic right?”

lopt was shocked, 6 months of dating and he never knew that?!

“i- what- n-no. i” lopt fumbled over his words, he knew the cat had lived im the streets for a while now, he couldnt just put it back out there!

“calm down-“ mason said before sneezing “its pretty mild anyways, its not like ill die or something”

lopt had some tears in his eyes, scared of having to pick between his boyfriend or a cat, he was never a great decision maker

“s-so we /wont/ have to let the cat go…?” he asked with some hope in his voice

“no we wont have to let the cat go” mason said slightly laughing “im shocked youre so attached to it anyways honestly” he seemed to find some amusement in lopt, a god, who had been alive for hundreds of thousands of years, was worried about having to let a cat go.

“i- well!” lopt said playfully frustrated, 

sighing “how about you help me go set up some food and water

for it okay?”

“sure sure, you gotta litter

pan?”

“no im gonna go back out to get that”

mason stood up “alright alright” mason said putting his hand out for the cat to sniff, before petting her.

they used normal bowls for the cats food and water since it wasnt like they had food bowls yet, lopt pet the cat and went back out to get some litter for her.

on the walk there, he contemplated just what to do with all the bubble bath he bough, and a plan came to his mind, he knew mason still only came out of his room to watch the cat and help set up the food and water, he went back to working on his book thingy right after.

if mason wasnt going to give him attention, then he’ll have his own fun.

he bought litter, a litter pan, and a few extra things such as a few more toys, extra food, a harness and leash, etc.

he knew exactly what he was going to do.

he walked back, he decided to put the litter pan in the half bath down stairs so the cat wouldnt have to go up and down stairs to eat and shit all the time (kill me now 😭😭)

the cat seemed nowehere to be found, he walked into masons now open room, finding the cat sleeping on the left side of masons desk.

this was the best chance to put his plan into action, he tried on more time to get mason out of his room, failing again.

sighing, he grabbed the bag on the table and walked up to the full bathroom upstairs.

he went over to the toilet, and squeezed 2 1/2 bottles of bubble bath into it. 

nothing seemed to happen.

(idk how bubble bath works sorry if this is wrong 😭😭)

he sighed, flushing the toilet, since nothing seemed to happen, he just had to wait until mason came back out, as he was going to leave he turned around, looking into the toilet, he seen an asston of bubbles starting to form.

he waited as it grew and grew, he decided to go get mason “to help” by time they both got back into the bathroom it had completely over flowed with bubbles.

mason and lopt both started to panic, lopt didnt mean for it to go this far, but the bubbles just kept going.

mason thinking fast, went down stairs and grabbed a mop.

he essentially attacked the bubbles (mopping them like normal.)

but they just kept coming.

and his arm was getting very tired.

he decided to set a timer for 10 minutes to wait until it got bad again then to mop them up.

mason repeated this several times, around 2 hours worth (12 times) before it looked mostly gone.

lopt decided to try and flush the remaining bubbles.

and it worked! no more bubbles in the toilet!

why hadnt they just thought of flushing it a second time.

mason high fived lopt and sighed.

“welp, back to work”

mason walked back to his office, lopt groaned, knowing that it would take mason even longer to finish his work now.

at least now they both have a cute cat to keep them company.

[hacksplatter]

wah

[polyamorous-elevenv2]

people from that fandom can be so mad about non-canon rare ships on twitter and make drama of it

[hollowtakami]

FOR THE GREATER GOOD

CONTENT: heavy angst, hurt w/ no comfort, implied ptsd/anxiety attack, corrupt hpsc, references to child abuse, power imbalance + implied beatings

WORD COUNT: 1130

AUTHOR NOTE: this is a very heavy (vent) fic - please do not read if you know this will trigger you (will be tagging this as nsfw on my masterlist bcs of its content). be safe, remember that you’re loved.

REBLOGS/COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED :)

Keigo hunched down onto the sofa, his skin finally remembering what its fabric felt like. Sinking into the plushness of the cushions, the avian sighed.

His eyes closed before he could stare at the ceiling. Instead, he’d stare at the abyss inside of him for hours.

He could hear his own breathing. Laboured, short. His chest felt heavy, the blood that circulated his body, nothing more than erroneous liquid.

His wings were made up of a few tattered secondaries and coverts, his primary feathers would need days to recover. His clothes stuck to him like a leech, the glue of his own sweat making his skin crawl.

A vibration in his trouser pocket brought him back to life. Keigo shot up, picking out his phone with a swift hand, his eyes strained by the painful white of the screen’s light.

The smartphone rang in his hand, shaking just like him. Keigo answered and felt himself sweating a little more.

“Hell-“

“Hawks. You’re needed for a last minute patrol.” A gruel voice barked out an order from the other end of the line.

“Madame President,” Keigo swallowed the spite stuck to his tongue, “With all due respect , you did just dismiss me, and I’m sure there are other heroes available to fill in for me!”

He did his best to spoil his voice with sunshine, but was met with nothing but silence.

His fluffy eyebrows furrowed at how loud the emptiness felt, not a single drone of white noise came from the other end.

“Madame-“

“You’re to report to my office immediately, Hawks,”

The call declined and the phone lay dead in his hand. Keigo’s fingers tightened around its frame, threatening to crack - whether the phone or his fingers would crack first, he wasn’t sure.

Tattered feathers sharpened in fear and Keigo’s face fell white. He had exhausted his body all day, fighting back whatever force the world threw at him. From the crack of dawn until the rest of the world fell asleep, he zipped around the city.

All for the greater good, he was always told.

And now, he was being told to report to his superior for - no doubt - a rather harsh scolding.

Peeling his clammy body from the sofa, Keigo made his way to his apartment’s door, leaving behind his jacket that he’d slung over a chair. His boots echoed footsteps and bounced them off the empty walls. Not looking back, not bothering to take in what he could of the only place he wasn’t watched.

They’d have cameras in here by the time he got back, anyway.

Walking down the street, Keigo was met with a black sky. Clouds hid away the beauty of the stars, the moon crying behind their mist. His feet slid across the pavement, too tired to put one in front of the other with the grace of a hero.

Keigo could fly and be there in a moment, but he’d sold his soul for a bit of cheap praise from people he knew couldn’t give a shit about him.

He’d reach the entrance of the HPSC eventually, the skyscraper sticking out of the gum of the ground like an ugly tooth. Greeting the receptionist telling her he’d been called for, he smiled with his teeth and trudged towards the nearest elevator and punched the button that would fly him up to Madame President’s office.

He stood still the whole ride, the eye of a camera burning into the back of his head - probably gawking at the laughable sight of his wings.

So much for the Winged Hero, Keigo thought.

Keigo went on autopilot as he sauntered through the empty floor of office cubicles until he reached the windowless room that was the sanctuary of his superior.

Bracing himself with a silent, short breath, Keigo rapped his knuckle on the door.

“Enter,” a low voice beckoned him forward.

Keigo pulled the door handle and slowly extended his arm inwards, met with the light of the office. The avian closed the door behind him and felt his wings shiver when he heard it auto-lock.

“Sit down, Hawks,” Madame President gestured to a lonely chair in front of her desk, smiling with hidden malice.

Keigo obeyed, lowering himself down and making sure he didn’t slouch.

“You asked for me?” He dared to speak.

“I don’t like attitude, Hawks,” Madame spoke, blunt as ever, “When a handler orders you to do something, you are expected to do it,”

Keigo felt his blood run cold at her words. She didn’t bother to blanket her intentions. He would be lectured, and then sanctioned. For the greater good.

“I understand, Madame,” Keigo squeaked, eyes down like a sheepish puppy.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you.”

Keigo pinned his eyes to hers and didn’t dare break eye contact for a second. For a moment, he was a child again; a huddle of skin and bones on the floor as his father kicked in his stomach for leaving the house.

“Yes, Madame,” his voice barely scratched its way up his throat.

“For your outlandish behaviour against a handler, I’m sure you’re aware you will need to be sanctioned,” Madame President repeated Keigo’s thoughts.

The avian nodded, the corners of his lips quivering into a meek smile. His feathers ruffled, his heart threatening to burst from his chest.

Keigo felt sick.

For the greater good, his mind barked at him.

The days of his ‘special program’ ran through his mind. That poor boy, he had no idea what kind of machine they were going to turn him into. They were gentle at first, using blanketed words to coax him forward to their goal.

They used to be gentle to that baby bird. When it was time to pick through his pin feathers, they only tore them out.

“Follow me to the rehabilitation hall, Hawks.”

“Yes, Madame President.”

His superior ushered Keigo to the room he remembered all too well, watching him with the eyes in the back of her head.

The walk was quick, Keigo blinked and he was already locked in with the same man he’d known from his boyhood.

“Hawks.” He spat at the avian.

Hawks didn’t say anything. Like a whimpering dog, he inched forward to the man, awaiting his sanction.

The first punch was always the worst.

But, it was for the greater good.

When it was all over, they’d half-ass bandaging him up and covering up his bruises with makeup.

For the greater good, a hero must always look his best.

A hero must always obey his handler, no matter what. That’s what they’d told Keigo Takami when he was a little boy, right before they’d tell him that everything from this point onward;

For the greater good.

[orlamccools]

vent post under the cut- if youve got advice id love to hear it

so. ive been talking to this guy for a long ass while, you can scroll thru the last tag on this post to see what its all about, but long story short is this: i asked him out two saturdays agoto my friends going away party (which was held this past friday). hes met this friend once before, and we planned to meet at her place and then maybe go out to the bars after

entire week he is super into it, texts me more often than normal, creates a spotify blend for the two of us (w that feature that lets you combine your tastes into a single playlist) like im getting VIBES. and he asks abt our plans!!!! we make a solid schedule!!!

night of the party he texts me at 8:45 checking in to see if its all happening and i say yeah. i get home from work, change, then get to my friends house and text him that im here. he doesnt respond for an hour and finally says something abt how he has to charge his phone before coming out. im like ok man whatever i just want to hang so do what you gotta do. another half hour passes and then he hits me with the "hey idk if im gonna make it out". im disappointed by this, so i respond with like a "damn that kinda sucks :/" message. at this point i expect him to stop messaging me, but then he texts me quite literally for the rest of the night. like he literally doesnt stop until i text him that im walking home.

saturday i see him in person for a short period when he does the close out but another driver fucking also comes to sweep the store and just. will not stop talking to the dude in question. he like tries to get away twice but between customers and this other guy we dont talk like at all. after the other driver leaves and the store is closed he comes back in to use the bathroom and like stands by the door for a moment so i like look over but all he does is smile and wave then leave.

SATURDAY NIGHT. he texts me at like 8 responding to a text i had sent the previous night asking if im going out again tonight. i said yeah (bc a separate friend had a party) and he was like bet lemme know where youre at i might stop by and see you. i send him the address of the restaurant and proceed to hang w my friends until midnight. hes again texting me all night abt getting ready to head out but when we finally leave he hits me with the "finally leaving now where should i meet you". at this point i am exhausted, as ive just finished my first week of classes, had drunk heavily over the past 48 hours, and had worked a 13 hr workday that day. i text him and say im like too tired im going home and hes like damn :////

yesterday night. i do an eras movie night w my friends and i send a picture of the opening sequence to the ppl i have snapchat streaks with. he snaps me the rest of the night and is like "ohhhh you should have invited me" and stuff like that and its like. i didnt invite you for a multitude of reasons but like you ditched plans once this weekend and kept pushing back the other time i tried to invite you out, so why do you think i would ask you a third time???????

and now im just confused bc like. he seemed sooooooooo into it all week and then as soon as it was time for things to happen he just didnt show and kept stringing me along. im also lowkey pissed bc i wanted to hang with him and i was SO anxious abt asking him out (like i literally threw up twice friday morning bc i was so anxious abt how the day was gonna go). im just frustrated and like i had thought he had gotten the vibe that i was into him romantically bc it sure as shit seemed like he was reciprocating, and now im not even sure what to do anymore.

[ruthlesslistener]

Oohhh I get it now. But tbh if I'm going to be honest, at least proshippers hide their stuff away in their respective dark areas/behind safe walls and even tag and warn people about the dark content they make. Antis dont, they just invade places and engage in the said dark content just to get mad at it. At least from my own experiences from them. Idk I just see most proshippers as responsible in managing what they make, while antis don't. I actually got a taste of dark content from antis myself as a kid, in a lot of callouts made by antis lololol. And not because the proshipper were demanding their content be known. Its been like that even now actually, where dark content gets shoved in people's faces purely because an anti is trying to act like a hero. Though this is just my experience with them.

Another thing if you wouldn't mind, is that while it's true that dark content can lead to a lot of things in real life. I personally see that it has to be allowed to exist, because dark content shows the dark realities of life and that we shouldn't just leave it/ignore it. I seen victims of abuse for example, who had their experiences validated from reading dark content/about their abuse in stories. Or like the fact that a certain famous entertainment company doesnt want to show blood in their content because of "violence" in shows where kids and adults are watching, where some have pointed out that not showing even a small proportions of what violence can do (blood) will lead to a very naive understanding of the consequences of violence. Shocking because this is a western company, and the TV show in question involves guns and... you get the idea. Don't get me started on censorship and how that can get out of hand so easily.

I don't think I'm explaining this well but yeh. Dark content is needed and should be allowed to exist in my personal views, but should still be allowed to exist behind close doors and away from people who don't want to see it. You can delete this ask if it makes you uncomfortable, I'm just trying to put my two cents into this convo. But yeh, I prefer to live in a world where dark content exists and not one where its nothing but "wholesome" and "pure".

.

[Tone: calm and neutral]

Oh no yeah I agree with you 100%, this is my exact stance on things and is a mirror to most of my experiences- hell, I like exclusively dark content and part of the reason for that is bc I came from a psychologically/emotionally (and sometimes physically) where 'we're all just a big happy family and you're ruining it you little freak' was a big problem. Stuff that's just pure and wholesome actually makes me feel uneasy and on edge all the time because I always feel like the other shoe is about to drop, while horror is comforting because I can read the situation and know what's happening. Part of the issue in my household also stems from the fact that my dad has an issue with differentiating fiction and reality (he suffers from untreated ocd and paranoia and a whole slew of other issues), and he used to blame the stuff I was reading for making me 'disrespectful' and 'cold' whenever I dared to have a negative emotion- hence me just seeking out more and more fucked up shit so that I could vent my anger without getting cussed out (though it also was bc I wasn't allowed to watch anything over a G rating til I was fucking. 16.). Without going into more detail, he used extremely similar tactics to antis and that's why I have such a strongly negative response to them, discounting all of the times where I had nasty run-ins with them. I very much hate all of them and it is because I had to deal with people like them my whole life. It wasn't fun.

I have very few actual squicks, and if I'm in a curious mood I'll also read stuff even if it disgusts me- and hell, sometimes their are exceptions. Captive Prince is a series I'm very fond of full of rape, csa, incest, and psychological abuse, but the reason why I love it despite the content is because it is a very compelling story about how horrible all that abuse is and how deeply fucked up it can make a person, as well as how awful the victim can seem when your pov is being manipulated by the abuser. The problem I have isn't content-based as much as it is the people, and, to the lesser extent, the tone of some of what they make.

See, what soured me on proshippers aren't people who are quietly making darker content and posting/tagging it properly (those are just normal writers and artists imo), I'm talking those who proudly proclaim themselves as proship, aka the vocal few balls deep in The Discourse who make it their whole personality trait. They're mostly centered to Twitter rather than Tumblr nowadays, but the problem with said vocal minority is that they are. Well. Extremely fucking annoying, entitled, tone-deaf, and just overall awful people. Almost everyone who proudly flaunts that they're proship is so balls-deep in the discourse that they feel personally victimized by anyone who shows any negative reaction to the gross shit they're into bc that automatically means they're a puritan, when sometimes it really is just an expression of disgust. Twitter proshippers are a whole different breed than Tumblr ones after the porn ban, but unfortunatly I keep getting their arguments shown to me when I'm on the site scrolling for furry porn and its...bad. It's real fucking bad. Not as bad as antis half the time but certainly not much better in how they treat people and their personal boundaries.

It's also the people who will take content that's pretty fucked up and spins it through a fandom lens that also gets me, though most of the time I just block and move on with a bad taste in my mouth instead of getting actually angry. And by 'fandom lens', I mean people who will take a rape/abuse/etc situation and then go 'oh but what if they're a couple with only a few pokes at the fucked up elements in canon. Ex, some (admittedly few, but they exist) people ship Mohg and Miquella as a reciprocal pairing despite it being a kidnapping and nonconsensual body modification incest-for-power situation, and that just...it feels so wrong. It's just so shallow and such a bad take read on a complex situation that I cannot stand it, it makes me want to run the opposite way. I have zero authority to force people to not do things ofc, I'm not a fucking cop, but those people give me the vibe of someone who'd not help you out with an abusive partner because 'oh but his posessiveness and controlling nature is just so cute, and he clearly loves you so its okay!' and that rings the alarm bells of someone that I do NOT want to be around even if it logically means nothing.

Does that make sense? It's a convoluted mess, but I hope I made it more clear that it's not so much the content that bothers me as much as it is the people and how they use it.

[sttoru]

Girly idk how I wasn't following you still, tumblr isn't stupid, I'm sorry that you are feeling on the outskirts of the fandom as well. You are a wonderful person and writer, and I'm glad you’ve been growing as you have been. You deserve so much more love!! 💕

It does make me feel like there is something wrong with me or like in off putting when i see several big blogs talking to each other, boosting each other. But then I drop in, just say hi to be friendly, only to be ignored. When they are literally responding to various anons or other people.

It seems like they want to talk to everyone else but me. Which has me feeling like I'm in the wrong, I'm bothersome and unwanted in the fandom space. They don't have to talk to me, but my feelings are still gonna be hurt at being shunned by 90% of the blogs I try to interact with.

It does kill my motivation since I don't want to be seen as someone who just posts. I want to be seen as a friend and someone to talk to.

I understand that some people get along better than others. But damn so many people are having this problem it seems like. It's boiling down to popular blogs like other popular blogs, boost other popular blogs and they stay the main people in the fandom eyes whole everyone sits quietly in the side just wanting to be partly including

Feel free to rant right back if need be. Cause I get needing to get this shit off your chest, cause I sure as hell needed to

hiii feyyy !!! dwww, it’s all good :> thank u sm for ur nice words aaaaaaa u r as well, one of the writers on here that i respect 4 their hard work !

gonna vent a bit haha need to get some things off my chest too like u said;

i get ur first point!! it sucks rlly. especially when you are the first one reaching out (which takes a lot of courage, especially for someone socially awkward like me lol) and then it hurts DOUBLE because you get ignored. i get ittttt rlly. for me, i always try to reply ppl even if im a bit late because im either thinking of a proper response or am distracted or busy , but i never intentionally ignore anyone interacting with me. i know some ppl on here do bcs they don’t feel entitled to respond to comments or anons or whatev, which is like ? ok. but if it’s someone just being friendly and complimenting you / your work … it’s not hard to reply w a form of gratitude . some rlly think they’re celebrities on here and it needs to stop

and it’s understandable and totally valid to feel like you’re being shunned and unwanted by people you just want to befriend , only for them to ignore you / not interact with you but with everyone else :/ it sucks and ppl don’t seem to realise that it could hurt other’s feelings. i hope you know that you’re not unwanted tho! those people are just… idk, a bit weird (ofc im only talking abt people who INTENTIONALLY ignore others)

findjng a friend on tumblr with the same interest is like a chore. you either click instantly or you think you do, only for it to be fore 2 interactions max and then you go back to ignoring each other basically on dash

AND YOUR LAST POINTS!! so true. its that the more popular blogs just stick together and help each other out when ??? there are smaller blogs of writers / artists just sittng in the sidelines like ‘ok so what do i have to do to gain traction if the people with a bit of bigger platforms are totally ignoring me & my works’

it’s actually tiring. ofc, me having 3k followers — i am suuuuper grateful, not complaining much, but i also know how it feels. my notifications are super dry except for mainly likes, my dms are like a desert, inbox is 98% only of anons who drop requests and then leave without leaving anything else. no one to talk to, except for people who leave a comment every once in a while :/

like u may think bcs i have decent following i actually gain more interactions? not rlly. only likes & sometimes reblogs w tags. that’s all really, i don’t really have anyone on here who i consider a close online friend (as much as this sounds sad & cringy LMAOO) but its tiring to see everyone be so close to each other on dash while im on the side like ‘how nice it must be to get that much interaction’

& im sure there are people who r gonna say ‘just interact with them’ I DO and i either get left on read or they respond dryly / or i don’t get the same energy back. bcs sometimes im reluctant to reach out first because it always ends up w me taking the initiative & i end up looking desperate to get an interaction with a mutual LOL

anyways thinking abt this tumblr writing community makes my head ache bcs of all the things ive seen and experienced on here (also on my prev account which i had for 2 years)