#which kind of boils down to his brother by now but yknow

[mementofloreo-archived]

@sorrowmarked​: His first response startles her, she’s about to object when he apologizes for saying it. A frown still tugs at her lips. Not because of his reaction to her confession, but because his first impulse was to assume he wasn’t good enough for her. Her brows pinched together, “Hey, it’s okay,” she said, reaching over to comfort him, her fingers brushing his knuckles. “And that’s not true." Most days she didn’t feel she she was good enough for him, but love wasn’t about worth. Love was about loving. It was a verb. It was an action. It was a choice. She loved him. She chose to. Maybe if she was lucky he would choose to love her back. And she would do her best to respect him, and treat him with kindness, and trust him, and support him, and be his biggest cheerleader. But worth didn’t factor into it. It was all … just action, and choice. What she decided to do, for the person she loved. Now that she had said it, now that she had done it, she didn’t feel so nervous now. There was no worry hanging over her head. There was just this. The after, the what came next. He’d tell her he returned his feelings, or he he would tell her he didn’t. Suddenly all that worry felt so … silly. Of course, they’d still be friends after this. Of course. Because that’s how they worked. They’d always be best friends. But then he was smiling at her and his eyes were watery, and she knew. Knew where this was going. Should have just told him ages ago. I worry too much over nothing. He pulled her in close and her arms wrapped around him, her cheek against his chest. There’s never been anybody but you, she didn’t know if she felt guilty or elated. Both, she guessed. Her hands tightened on the back of his shirt, bunching in the fabric. "I wasn’t as quick on the uptake,” she said, voice soft, and warm, smile bleeding into her words. “I just needed the time to realize that I loved you,” she said. She paused, “That’s not right, I’ve always loved you,” she said, which he should know. “I just needed to realize I was in love with you." Closing her eyes she paused a moment, listening to the way his heart was pounding in his chest. "You’re my best friend Daisuke,” she whispered. “My life has always been better, my days have always been better, because I have you. I remember how lonely it was before I met you,” two little kids, prone to illness, unable to run and play like they wanted to. He’d become her best friend fast. Stayed her best friend. “You’re my best friend, and the guy I love, I think both can be true,” she whispered. Her arms tightened around him. “Both probably should be true, and I am proud that you’re my best friend. I’m proud you’re the guy I love. I sometimes … god I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Because if you could you’d know there was no one better than you. No one else with your heart, and your kindness, and your compassion, and your optimism. You amaze me every single day.”

[I put this under a cut because it's SO FUCKING LONG????? Have fun reading the extended lotr script I guess LMAO??? Daisuke is extremely smooth here tho tbh]

"...In your defense, I probably didn't make it an easy conclusion to reach," Daisuke says on the tail end of a chuckle rumbling through his chest. The sensation brings with it the odd realization that it's actually been quite some time since he really hugged her, and the last time he did his voice was still only just starting to change.

It'll probably still deepen a little more before he finishes growing, but what used to be a cracking, faltering high tenor is now balanced and smooth and almost baritone. Limbs that were wiry and angular are lean and strong and growing stronger by the day. And he was babyfaced even into his third year of middle school, but when he looks in the mirror now his face is stronger, sharper, almost a little rugged- especially since he's started needing to shave every few days.

In fact, until near the end of third grade, Hikari was taller than him.

They're on the edge of their second year of high school now. Then it'll be their third and final year, they'll graduate...he winces internally at the prospect of having to fill out career plan forms, but what really has his focus is just how long it's been and how much has changed.

They've known each other since before they could string together proper sentences. Since a time when Daisuke was even more timid and prone to crying than her.

He hasn't recalled in a very long time that the reason he first started working so hard to be more assertive and outgoing- to be stronger, tougher, braver- was all because he wanted to be someone who could protect and support her. Not because she needed him, but because she was a source of incredible fortitude for him. Someone who shone brighter than the white hot light of a summer sun.

He'd worked hard to be strong and brave all because Hikari had been his hero. On a bigger level than even Taichi ever was. Taichi was and still is a mentor, a role model, a brother to him. But he knows that if not for meeting Hikari, if not for her friendship, he never would have dared to break out of that timid, isolated little shell. Everything that makes him strong ultimately stems from her, even though he's never told her that.

A hazy, old memory comes to him, and he finds himself recounting it to her out loud without really thinking about it. "...You know, the first thing I ever learned to 'cook'- putting it loosely...it was instant ramen. The kind you cook in a pot, yknow? We were probably in first grade, I think?"

He's holding her more loose and relaxed now, chin nestled atop her head. "You'd been in bed with a fever for a couple of days, and I think at first I was just there to drop off some handouts from school that you needed to catch up on. Neither of us had very many other friends yet."

"Taichi was probably out with friends or something, and your mom was leaving on an errand just as I was arriving and let me in...and you were just waking up when I let myself into your room to check on you."

A quiet laugh bubbles out of him, "...I couldn't even get a word out before you mumbled about being hungry 'for the first time in forever'. 'Course, I knew just how hard a fever could hit your appetite and how much of a pain in the neck it was once it finally came back. I think I stood there all of two seconds before I dropped the handouts and my stuff and turned right around to let myself into the kitchen."

"I don't know how I managed to get everything together but I remember dragging a chair from the dining room so I could reach the cabinets and the stove, opening about a million drawers before I found any measuring cups for the water...I at least knew roughly how much heat I needed for boiling water- probably wouldn't have tried to mess with the stove otherwise, I think."

"...Anyway, I think I undercooked it just a little, but your mom commented all dry and deadpan that she was just thankful I didn't start a fire, once she got back. I ladled out bowls for both of us and I couldn't find a tray or anything so my goofy ass just scrambled to your room as fast as I could without spilling and set them on the kotatsu. While making a noise that probably sounded like a teakettle all heated up."

He snorts at that, "That particular strain of brainlessness has always been a hallmark of me, I guess. Still. You looked so relieved, seemed so glad that I'd thought to make something that would be light on the stomach. Most of all, though..."

He pulls away, dropping his hands to his lap. "I'd never seen you anywhere near that happy because of anything I'd done. It was the first time I'd ever felt like I'd actually done something worthwhile for you, at a time when you were still the only friend I had. I felt so powerful in that moment, more powerful than I ever have since."

Shyly, gingerly, he lifts a hand and brushes some hair out of her face. "I stared up at the clouds all the way home that day and I clung to that feeling for as long as I could, and I knew. I knew then that if it was for you I could become anything in the world, do the most impossible things, carry the heaviest weights. I didn't have the words then, of course. I was six and barely reading. But I felt it. And god, I understood that feeling more intimately than anything else the world had ever taught me."

He knows he's probably pink up to his hairline at this point, but isn't it about time he actually told her how significant she's been? In completely frank and honest terms, without the joking or the melodrama?

"You said that you wish I could see in me what you see in me." His fingers trace down her cheek, "But sometimes I think I do. All I have to do is look at you, and I see myself. Everything I've been, everything I want to be, everything that drives me forward and compels that compassion you're talking about, none of it could ever have sprouted or grown if I hadn't met you."

"I could never have stood and taken my first steps outside of myself if you hadn't been holding my hand." he continues, "And every step forward I've taken since then, I've taken it hoping beyond anything else that I could give you even an ounce of what you've given me."

His hands are shaking when he takes her face more firmly, and his eyes are a little misty again. "I didn't always know I was in love with you, Hikari. But since the moment we met you've been something even stronger than the sun for me. You're the gravity that keeps me grounded so I can run. And what is there to make us fall if not gravity, right?"

It's a horrible, corny line to end on and it has him smiling awkwardly. But even so he leans in, and he presses a firm kiss to the center of her forehead, holding it there for a long moment, only to rest his own against hers when he pulls away. "There's nobody I'd rather have as my core."

[meiishu]

thoughts on season 2 of love victor love victor season 2 spoilers ahead

i enjoyed season 2 of love victor but i wish there was less relationship-swap happening in the series like, i enjoyed all the characters but there wasn’t a whole lot of platonic developments which... was frustrating. like i dont mind the romantic developments but like EVERYTHING turned into date swap or a romantic subplot... especially with mia? like i wish they gave her an arc about her art or something instead of just boys boys boys... though i do like her and andrew. i was really hoping to see more of mia and veronica; the bits we got of them were good, i just wish we got more, yknow? i feel like if mia became closer to veronica it would’ve made the moment with her dad stung even more. just. i wish they’d either left out the college boy arc or just made it even shorter so that they could’ve fleshed out more of mia’s family and maybe passions. i’m interested to see where her and andrew’s arcs go in season 3. (also, andrew standing up for her to her dad? love that. i want more of that) 

also??? speaking of family?? i wish we got to see more of the dad and victor interacting because he had such tension with his mom after coming out. whereas his dad was trying to hard to be supportive and good. all we really got from them was the scene where armando tried to reconnect with him over sports only to segue into victor quitting. we didnt even get a scene where he told his dad he was back on the team!!! it just would’ve been nice to see victor and his dad getting maybe closer as a result of him coming out, it would’ve juxtaposed the relationship getting more sour with him and his mom quite well. 

i was surprised (not disappointed but surprised) with felix and pilar. in season 1 i was kinda rooting for them so i was glad to see them utilized though i wish there was more highlighting how lake and felix weren’t working romantically aside from her breaking his trust to really show why he went with pilar in the end yknow? like the less good sides of their relationship werent really shown at all. i thought him and lake had a really cute relationship and were doing good so it really threw me for a loop when he picked pilar in the end. also, i was really annoyed with how pilar’s support of felix turned into her only supporting him because she liked him romantically. like. platonic support is good? and when she was like ‘we can’t be friends’ I was like, come on. really? so i was happy they got together because i’m hopeful for their dynamic, but i was caught offguard when it happened. 

i’m hopeful for a (bi? pan?) arc for Lake in season 3. but i do wish there was more lucy and lake interaction before the last episode yknow?? especially since lucy was there since episode 1. really hoping they actually address lake as being bi or pan in the show and don’t just say she’s a lesbian because the bisexual representation would be so important. it would also be great to see a wlw relationship build on this show since we have mlm and straight passing relationships given plenty of screen time. 

benji and victor i felt like were kind of a hot mess this season... honestly was kinda rooting for victor and rahim because i feel like they’d be a better fit right now? but i bet the series will have him pick benji in the end (also fuck you cliffhanger). i was honestly feeling victor and rahim’s dynamic and i like that they can bond over their families and experiences. idk. i like victor and benji but right now i think they should be apart for a while? they were just bottling things up and fighting so often. i feel like they’re at different stages of their lives and would both want different things in a relationship. 

speaking of relationships i wasn’t too disappointed with the parents arc, although like i said i wish there was more of victor bonding with his dad. i thought it made sense for armando to want to be with someone else especially because he probably was feeling trapped in the relationship with isa and when she had the affair he probably felt very much like he couldn’t be his own person. so having him be able to be by himself and pursue a new relationship was pretty good. i like that they came back together in the end, but i’m interested what that means for his relationship with shelby if he actually ended things or what.

also, i was SUPER happy with isa’s development this season. it was such a realistic depiction of a mother coming to terms with accepting her son’s sexuality. and i like that she had backs and forths, moments of triumph and then moments where she failed. her telling off the priest was the best thing that could’ve happened for her arc, fuck that guy. i’m glad she apologized to benji although i feel like victor will be frustrated in the end because it obviously led to benji coming to the wedding and seeing him with rahim. 

FELIX AND HIS MOM’S ARC WAS PROBABLY THE MORE GUT WRENCHING FOR ME. i wanted to see more of that. maybe even more moments between felix and pilar -- not romantic, but platonic interactions -- where she helped them out. i’m so glad the season ends on felix’s mom being in a better place now. i also hope that even if lake and felix don’t get back together at some point, lake and maybe her mom can be more involved in felix and his mom’s life. felix’s mom clearly has a lot of respect for lake and i would love to see them interact if her and felix remain friends. 

overall it was a fun watch, but frustrating how everything boiled down to a love triangle. (i hate love triangles) 

the younger brother stole the whole show. i want more of him.

season 3 hopefuls: bi (pan?) lake, victor sorting his shit out, more platonic interactions, seeing pilar and felix’s relationship develop, the parents sorting their shit out. the younger brother’s zinger one-liners. more about benji’s road to sobriety would be interesting too. like more benji-centric stuff that’s not necessarily connected to victor 

sorry for the long post i just wanted to share my thoughts on the show i just finished!!! 

[ask-the-matsuno-neets]

By a terrible casuality, s/o finds a porn magazine among Matsuno belongins. And it's not even his! It's full of kinks that they never knew he was into! They got all red, shaking... The poor thing is a blush mess. When Matsuno enters in the room, how would he react? Bonus:"Didn't knew you were into this.... Matsuno-san..."

I've got two asks that are very similar, so I'm gonna answer them together if that's okay with you guys! I'll word it so it's like one day s/o finds on the Matsuno's brothers stashes, and then a few weeks later it's actually his they find ¯\(シ)/¯

I might put this under a cut because it gets very long very quick sksjsjsksj

*chugs coffee* LET'S GO

。

。

Magazine clattering to the ground, s/o turns to face Oso as he walks into the room. "H-hey fancy seeing you here ~" babe it's my house tf

Upon seeing the magazine, he'd initially freeze cus oh shit that's porn is it mi-

Then he'd snicker and point to it "Hey I think that's Ichimatsu's stash you got there-". Cue s/o going red.

Of course he'd be terrified at the thought that it had been his stash, but when it turns out that its not, he'll brush it off and laugh about it - adding in a cheeky "Hey where did you find that exactly, I need to know for, blackmail *cough* research purposes"

--

Strolling into the living room, Oso saw his s/o reading a magazine, cross-legged on the floor. Could have been a gossip magazine at that point for all he knew. Chuckling, he'd say "I hope that's not Ichi's stash again, don't want you mentally sca-"

He saw the cover and recognised it oh shit not this-

It was one of his this time.

He'd go over and gently pry it from their hands. "I don't think you want to be reading that s/o-". Imagine s/o just grabbing his shirt from behind like 'oh no you don't ~'

"Oh I don't, do I ? So you laugh at the other one but not this one, how peculiar~ Do you have maybe, an attachment to this one? You know, something like,,, it belongs to you~?" s/o would snicker. Oso would freeze momentarily, before darting upstairs to relocate his whole stash. "Not today, not any day, this is not a conversation I'm ready to have"

They might end up discussing it, but all it would boil down to is that Oso is stuck in his ways of the Virgin Neet, whether he has a s/o or not lmao

。

Karamatsu would scream. His beloved s/o was being mentally scarred by Choromatsu's stash. Bonus if his glasses just full on shatter at seeing that. He'd scream like that one shark puppet (you know the one) when his s/o asked him if he was really into all this idol and other,,, stuff. "NONONONONONO that's my brother's!! That's Choro's stash, you know him - he's the otaku of this family!!" he wouldn't even say buraza instead of brother, that's how serious(ly terrified) he'd be. Save him.

He'd also be quietly taking notes on the location though, just incase he ever had to get back at Choro for something,,I mean he's a sweetheart, but just incase because you know what brothers can be like, regardless of how nice they are ¯\(シ)/¯

--

A few weeks later, perhaps when going up to the roof together, he'd offer his s/o goes up first. His s/o goes up, he follows suit and suddenly bumps into their back as they stand frozen.

"S/o, are you okay my dar-" he'd follow their line of sight to his hastily hidden 'books'. He'd had to hide them haphazardly once and forgot to tidy them up clearly "- a-ah"

He couldn't even deny they were his, there was a glittery blue bookmark in one of them.

"s/o, I can explain-" he'd start rambling on and on, probably saying stuff like he was a sinful man, a guilt guy™

S/o would just deadpan and grab his cheeks, squishing them so he couldn't continue. "Look, Kara, you're a guy, so it's not something I'm surprised about. It's fine" he'd look relieved

"what I am surprised about though-" he'd feel instant dread again "- is your lack of finesse at hiding them, considering you have five brothers I'd have thought that you'd have that skill" s/o would chuckle at Kara going beetroot

。

Choromatsu would feel his legs almost leave from under him at the sight of his s/o kneeling next to one of those books.

He'd quickly go over and take it out of their sight. S/o would look up at Choro "H-hey sweetie, um I think I found one of your-" he'd stop them with a finger on their lips.

"You uh really shouldn't be reading these, they'll probably scar you. I'm concerned not only because this is porn, but mainly because this is actually Todo's. That's totally why I'm worried. It's Todomatsu's, and he's into some weird shit"

Mhm, he was worried because it was Totty's. Definitely not because he was scared that you might have found his. Not at allll~

--

Fast forward, and s/o is sat against the wall reading. Choro thinks nothing of it, and is sat across from them under the kotatsu. He looks up, and his s/o is looking at the book and,,, blushing ? But, isn't 'Orange' just a normal manga?

He'd quietly get up and look over the top of the 'book', only to find one of his *cough* idol magazines. He'd shriek.

"s-s/o! W-when did you, why are you, w-what the-" he'd die.

Just imagine s/o literally becoming the personification of ',:3c

"Ufufu, research purposes~ I'm done for now though, catch" Cue magazine incoming. He'd come back from the grave just to jump up and put it back behind the bookshelf.

His soul would leave his body immediately after. S/o, you just broke the poor frog

。

Ichimatsu would see his s/o with a magazine and freeze. And probably foam at the mouth. His soul would try and escape, but he'd stop it just long enough to literally leap and grab the magazine, not really caring who's it was but praying it wasn't his.

His s/o would likely be sat quietly wondering wth just happened, but would mumble "I didn't know you were into that-", which would cause Ichi to panic a little. Oh wait was it actually his?

Noticing it wasn't, he'd be relieved. He'd be worried again once he noticed a baseball sticker on there though - that's Jyushimatsu's.

"Oh, hah no no no, I'm not into this,,, this is Jyushimatsu's. You don't want to be reading that, my kitten. That stuff is weird and a tad dodgy on a lot of levels. As brothers we agree to not snoop or judge that much because otherwise we'd all need therapy" he'd laugh nervously, still recovering from the scare.

--

[continuing with the shitpost/teasing s/o trope because I love it now. These are sort of recations/sort of shitpost imagines]

Returning from the kitchen with a glass of water, imagine him just choking on the water as he sees s/o reading. Why, you may ask, it's just reading? Haha no, they found a certain magazine. That was definitely Ichimatsu's; it was by the cat food for christ sake, come on.

The magazine was quickly flung across the room. Ichi would be quietly going "nopenopenopenope-" under his breath. Not today not any day fU-

Glancing back at his s/o, somehow in the second he looked away, they had cat ears. They were teasing him are you actually serious rn s/o-

"I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff-" s/o makes cat paw gestures with their hands, becoming the ',:3c once again "-Ichinyatsu"

Ichi would uh probably low-key die a tad inside.

。

"Hey s/o, I'm her-" Jyushi would stop and go:

at the book in s/o's line of view. He'd dash and swoop in to get rid of it before he was exposed, quickly trying to distract them.

Woah wait hang on, maybe I won't be exposed -

It's Karamatsu-niisan's

"I didn't realise you were into all thi-" "It's Karamatsu-niisan's, not mine" his voice would be slightly quiter than usual, and he'd sound a bit more serious. "Oh, I see. Well, that's rather embarrassing for Kara then!" s/o would nervously laugh. Jyushi would take the laugh and use it to distract. "Haha yeah, silly nii-san! He should have hidden it properly if he didn't want anyone to read it~!"

--

Returning home from the park, him and s/o would head upstairs (yknow, cus they were probably playing baseball and needed to change Idk). However, at the top of the stairs was stuff from the attic.

Shouting from the attic, Matsuyo would say "there's some stuff down here that needs tidying later, you and your brothers can sort your stuff, like books and whatnot"

Books

Oh no she hasn't has she

Glancing at s/o, their face answered his question. Mom has totally just exposed them to the world hasn't she.

"I didn't know you were into this, Jyushi-"

His face would be a cross of the below:

"Ah. T-That's not mine that's uh I don't know but it's not mine" s/o would snicker at this.

"Who else has baseball stickers, Jyushibee?

Sjksjsks caught red handed. He'd sigh in defeat. "Okay fine they're mine, but there's no way in hell you're knowing anymore than what's on the cover" he'd kick them back into the bug encyclopedia as he goes to get out of his baseball uniform. He'd leave s/o with a lot of questions. Bonus if s/o actually had a flick through the magazine while he was changing, and decided to tease him. Honestly a power move, some real guts there

。

Seeing his s/o reading on the floor, he'd coo sweetly "Oh s/o, what are you reading~?"

Ask a dumb question, you can tell by looking at the cover that it was not a book he would like his pure s/o to be reading.

Tutting, he'd take the magazine from s/o.

"tut tut s/o, I don't think you want to be reading that vile stuff. You're too pure for that"

S/o would smirk. "Oh, so they're not yours then? Thought it could count as research" Totty would be fighting a blush.

"Oh no, not those. They're stupid eldest's. I emphasise 'stupid' because he clearly didn't hide them properly, amateur"

--

After coming back from a cafe date, the living room had been left a mess by Todomatsu's older brothers who'd clearly been fighting at some point this afternoon. Stuff was everywhere.

Reluctantly, they'd both try and tidy up a tad. There were books everywhere, since one of the bookshelves had fell down.

Wait, not that bookshelf. Any but that bookshelf

But s/o had already made it to the bookshelf, and they were about to push it back up again when they noticed exactly what Todo didn't want them to

"Oh hey Totty, are these yours? They've got a pink ribbon around them staying 'do not touc-',, oh dear" it had dawned on s/o by the time Totty had took the books and pushed the shelf back up.

。

。

Sksjksjsjs I was literally writing these for the whole day in between bits of homework lmao

I hope they're okay for both anons!

- Mod Yuki ✨

[karamazovdmitri]

Ok so I know you love Dostoevsky but do you have any tips on how to read his books and just russian lit in general? I'm really interested but I feel like his or Tolstoy's or Turgenev's,etc. books might be very dense and complex and hard to understand and not relatable because they were written a while ago idk I'm just afraid I'm not gonna get them and enjoy them because of their complexity. Do you have any suggestions of where to start?

 ooooh boy ALRIGHT sorry i took so long to reply to that schools a binchso uh first of all im so glad the ruslit love is spreading! and alright yeah ok lets get right down to it, i’ll focus on dosto for now and yes his books seem complex and and i wont lie that they are, but theyre not necessarily complex in their writing or their prose, its in what it holds. like its hard to explain but its just. so packed with everything.i feel that theres not one way to “get” the books. though i see what you mean because i often say i dont “get” poetry, but i think that even if you dont unveil the secret of his books or something, its still such a good read. we did that in lit class with crime and punishment, kinda just like tryna unveil the mysteries of it and... you cannot just do it like that, you can get closer to it but like... i guess its kinda like that saying that says destination isnt as important as the journey. as for them not being relatable i got GREAT NEWS FOR YOU, the brothers karamazov was probably the most relatable book ive read in my whole life. like i know because its Classic Lit™ and all, it might feel distant and foreign and like its well, not relatable, but once you dive into it the characters are the same you’d find in other books, theyre all painfully human. like if you take evgeny bazarov from turgenev’s fathers and sons, sure hes that like complex nihilistic character but also hes a bitchass med student like you’d find in any university i swear alright, like... god i feel like i cant express my thoughts coherently but what i mean is even if the prose in itself seems complicated (once you dive into it, its really not that bad honestly?? to be fair i havent read tolstoy yet -yeah what a bad ruslit hoe i make- but dostoevsky, while not the simplest in appearance actually just boils down to feelings nd shit. like you’ll just FEEL it. and yeah for me it has made me reflect a lot on who i am as a person and who i want to be, but as you probs have guessed i do take ruslit quite to heart... maybe thats the secret to enjoying it so much? idk? like im not tryna read for 5 layers deep interpretation, i guess as i said... you just somehow feel it. AS for suggestions... if you want to go with dosto, my first read by him was personally crime & punishment, which i feel is a good start?? its always the one i rec because its part of the holy dosto trinity (aka C&P, the bros karamazov and the idiot) but i think its the most accessible one. like it has a clear plot, raskolnikovs character is complex but not inaccessible and the main ideas that want to be communicated are clear cut, more than in the huge rambles that you’d find in the brothers karamazov. i mean like i dont wanna spoil shit but like unless the brothers karamazov, when i read C&P i didnt find myself putting the book down every now and then to just. breathe and think about shit (i did however had to put it down to yell about razumikhin but thats just me)for other ruslit i kinda just like. go with whatever. i read fathers and sons because i saw it in the bookstore and just. bought it lmao and honestly since its like significantly shorter than one of the dosto bricks™ that might also be a good place to start. honestly i dont think theres like one Good Place to start but if youre 0 familiar with the russian culture and history and stuff, like dont start with the brothers karamazov (if you ask me, just dont start with TBK because its dostos best book and like you gotta gradually make your way to it, just keep raising the expectations higher and higher) (can yall believe right before i started reading tbk i was like “man can this really top C&P?” LMFAO) but anyway yeah, russian lit however is a good way to familiarize yourself with like Russia™ as a concept, and the russian soul, decent slav sadness and all that sweet stuff so just start with something and then the more you’ll read the more you’ll get what i mean by that russkaya dusha thinganyway uhhh youre probs fuckin tired of reading by here hopefully i was of any help??? basically dont be afraid anon, academics really like to brand classic rus lit as like some kind of extremely fancy and complex shit, and like its complex but not in the way you think. its complex because its depictions of the human soul so theres a lot packed in that. but even if you couldnt care less about like the soul and shit, theyre absolutely amazing psychology-wise. so yknow just pick up a book and go for it!! if it makes you more comfy, start with a short one! it can be fathers and sons, it can be even shorter and be Notes from underground (this ones kinda hardcore though, i gotta say) can be death of ivan illyich, could be a play by Chekhov like honestly... theres so much to choose from, treat yoself(also i want to thank you for that ask i feel like??? so honoured to be considered some kind of reference when it comes to russian lit, truly warms my heart and dont hesitate to come ask for more info bc i know this is kind of just a huge dump of whatever)

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - Nobody Calls Dean McFly a Nerd

Transmission date: Monday 18/Tuesday 19 September 2017

Yeah, I said this would be 'punctual' and 'up a decent amount of time before the PPV', but hey

i was ill, and also you're not the boss of me

(unless you are)

(in which case my salary hasn't been coming in and we need to talk)

so without any further ado (just kidding, this is gonna be ado city right here) i present to you SATURDAY AFTERNOON RAW!

(yeah, you thought it was gonna be sunday, didn't you?)

(daniel did)

(he was super unprepared and is currently eating lunch in his booth)

(it looks delicious)

(bastard)

ahem

yes

wrestles?

opening on an in memoriam for bobby heenan

aww

we're in san jose

i should be able to make some kind of sport joke there but i can't find it

anyway, here's kurt

apparenrtly we have two matches at no mercy that are mania-worthy

casual shade at the rest of the card there

kurt says that's not all, and now here's the miz

with his bros, but not his wife

oh yeah, she's pregnant

that makes sense

boo for the next year or so when i don't get to steal her style ideas

miz, meanwhile, is wearing black trousers and a white jacket and growing a shitty beard

the single look doesn't suit you, mike

he's complaining that he doesn't have a match at mercy

kurt's like dude i was just saying that

jordan/elias/hardyz in a four-way tonight for a shot at him

miz complains that kurt puts his son in the match ahead of his super-qualified and totally legit hangers-on

kurt has had enough of your tone, young man

miz gives him a lecture about responsible fatherhood

see how kurt isn't beating the shit out of him, shane?

this is called being a responsible employer

miz fucked up his words at least twice while i was writing that last sentence

get it together, dude

anyway, here's jj to step to him

and defend his dad's honour

in a new magic eye singlet

i think he's secretly dressed as a tractor

jj asks kurt to put curtis and bo in the match so miz can shut the fuck up

never gonna work, dude

miz says one more thing about his father

gets fucked on, as promised

booker gives sage words about how jj needs to control his temper

dude, did you watch your entire fucking career

for example, jason has never dropped an n-bomb on air

later tonight we have brock and braun being interviewed (bad) and roman giving an address (worse)

but next, alexa/nia

brilliant shot of them walking backstage

alexa's expression of barely-restrained terror sells it

but first have this advert for cena/reigns

because god knows we haven't talked about it enough

back to jj backstage

as kurt storms in to tell him to calm down and focus

jason responds by ranting about what everyone thinks of him

dude, this is the opposite of calm and focus

kurt talks some fatherly shit at him, boils down to #hatersgonnahate

tells him to win the match

bet he never thought of that

but actually now, here's alexa

doing her best 'ignoring the proles but also lowkey bricking it' face

and also nia

bell rings, alexa runs away

like you thought it'd go any other way

eventually gets back in the ring, gets dicked on for a while before trying to talk nia down

and running away again

heads up the ramp, headed off by sasha

and then nia flattens her

(alexa, that is)

sasha's just lurking at ringside like oh hey there

alexa totally just hit a curbstomp on nia

i thought we banned that

alexa sets up on the top rope, goes for a crossbody, gets samoan dropped to death

sasha attacks nia after the pin, gets fucked on

and oh hey, bayley's back

somewhere, emma is just like yknow what i'm good

the three of them face off against nia and take her down

oh my god, i would watch the shit out of sasha, bayley and alexa as the shield

#extremefantasybooking

nia leaves, bayley extravagantly hugs everyone

they both raise alexa's arm, then remember who she is and bayley suplexes her into oblivion

i really should have seen this coming what with it being san jose

+10 hometown boost

cole recommends we go to wwenetworkrightnow.com

someone needs to learn how web addresses work

and also hypes kevin/shane in a cell

which...no

and gameplay ad for 2k18

ooh, it's got billie in

i'll probably play it, but not preorder this one

destiny 2 and injustice 2 exist, along with others

ad for total bellas, which looks less good

and a package of wrestling peeps eulogising heenan

apparently we're gonna get more of those throughout the show

cole tries to do heenan banter, corey shuts him the fuck down

and now, a video package about brock

god, i hate ppv setup shows

this is all footage from 2002

transition straight into mania 30 without a AND THEN HE BROKE HIS FUCKING NECK title card

and along came a strowman

okay, i will never not giggle at the announce table sandwich spot

paul claims that was the first time in brock's life he got carted off the battlefield

see above, re: BROKE HIS FUCKING NECK

this package has just reminded me of luke harper's existence

what happened to him?

internet says him and rowan are still signed, but little else

anyway, package is over, here comes cesaro

and also his best bro

i will never get over their fusion dance pose

actual fact

they're up against the good brothers, who are still jobbing wherever possible because we saw the shit that happens when they get to main even

ad for smackdown, which i am super unhyped for

the aftermath of vince 'blading is awful unless it's me' mcmahon

let's see how that trash fire goes later

sheamus wants to talk to us about nostalgia

and also about how he clearly doesn't understand the difference between sequels and remakes

conclusion: fuck nostalgia

and here come the kkb to fuck it for us

apparentliy seth and dean are both exploiting each other

cesaro responds to what chants by repeating the same phrase half a dozen times

which is kind of great

wait, sheamus has mtn dew and liverpool fc patches

now i need to study the rest of both of their jackets

anyway, they finish their usual proclamations, and now here are seth and dean

seth describes them as like if taxi driver and braveheart had a really ugly baby

seems legit

although i don't love the 'yeah but you look dumb' retort

they talk about brothers a bunch, gives anderson and gallows a perfect chance to cut in

and call seth and dean nerds

seth's like oh no dude you shouldn't have said that

dean is not happy

nobody calls dean mcfly a nerd

cue brawl

ending with seth and dean in the ring and everybody else outside like bwaaaaaahhhhh next time gadget

but fuck that shit, here's an ad for asuka

meanwhile, kurt has once again taken the path of least resistance and made this into a triple threat

expect spots, shenanigans, and a champion win

cesaro and sheamus 100% just kicked gallows in the dick

ref like whatevs i'll allow it

book talks about the good brothers not finding their footing in wwe, cole's like ummmmm dude they were tag champs

this match is primarily seth and dean and the kkb doing rapid tags and good wrestling and anderson and gallows being like yessir we are also here

oh hey, anderson tagged in

had to happen evetually, i guess

cole almost calls gallows 'the big dog', catches himself in time

accidental double hot tag takes us to seth/cesaro, and frankly the other four can go home

weird spot where seth goes for his turnbuckle bomb then has to redirect halfway through to not throw cesaro into anderson and gallows' corner

seth eats a magic killer, dean breaks the pin only to get thrown into a barricade by the kkb

someone in the ring just shouted "sports entertainment!" and i don't know in what context

sheamus and cesaro do their flapjack cutter, then both forget who's legal and roll out of the ring, then both run back in and go for the tag at the same time

with cesaro doing the pin and sheamus just holding seth's right calf

is this a fucking laurel and hardy movie

and then anderson forgets how to set up a superplex

-checks the headlines for an epidemic of fail ravaging san jose-

double double suicide dives from seth and dean

next up in 'spots that make not a single fucking lick of sense when you think about them'...

whatever the good brothers are good at, it's not selling when they take a suicide dive

sheamus blind tags off dean, dean hits dirty deeds on anderson, sheamus steals the pin

would you look at that, a champion victory on a ppv setup show

cole started a sentence with "The Bar claims...", i totally hear the barsgays

cesaro poses on the ramp, sheamus hobbles off backstage, seth and dean don't give a shit

but nowthe miz rallies his troops in the locker room

(if you know what i mean)

bo interrupts like dude i used to do motivational speeches can i criticise your technique

bo and curtis give their cvs, throw some casual shade on their boss

realistically, why is matt hardy in that match?

the others have at least been winning a bunch lately or have had their boss shouting at the gm

has kurt been hassled by seven deities

this video from mania 21 brought to you by pizza hut

ok, but...why?

yes, edge won the first mitb

why are you telling us this now

okay, nobody knows

cole does an awkward segue into cena/reigns

corey forgets how to speak english

don't worry dude, attempting to hype roman reigns matches does that to me too

and now enjoy this video package of the parallel histories of john cena and roman reigns

i remember when there was live wrestling on this show, not like 80% clip shows

(yup, turns out i still hate ppv setup shows)

(however much of a tire fire smackdown is, at least it won't be a ppv setup show)

i really don't get why they can say bitch on the live shows but then censor it out of the video packages

okay, even in retrospect this cena promo was fire

and straight from that into an advert for vince's totally legit head injury

back in the real world (ha), kurt is on the phone

he certainly spends a lot of time on that phone

which is...an accurate representation of management, i guess

kudos, dubby dubby wee

+0.01 reality points

(current score: -89887452.99)

pan over to goldust standing inches from a poster with his back to the room

and then he turns round without paint on

whaaaaaaat

and the bodysuit undone partly as well

he wants another shot against bray in his real face

which raises the question: if he wins, why was the paint there in the first place

some kind of anime power limiter?

leaves, then pops back in to snap in kurt's face as usual

but in the ring, it's curt hawkins

woo

he's closed the star factory

and replaced it with the curt hawkins history machine

huh?

he's going to make history by ending his 114-match loss streak

well, that makes sense i guess

at least he's aware of his failings

and here comes apollo crews

the apathy is just rolling in off the crowd in waves

titus is here too

corey is either listing the current roster of titus worldwide or naming random celebrities

hard to tell

apollo shows off all the athleticism and none of the charisma, as ever

curt actually gets a nearfall, which is good for him

ticker advertises raw next week for 'ontario, CA'

ok, a) CA is a real state abbreviation, and b) ontario is big

unless it's going to be on the road through ontario in some kind of epic monday night raw travelling roadshow

i'd watch it

anyway, while i was distracted by the ticker, apollo won

i love how his 115-match streak gets an onscreen graphic

up next, brock and braun talk

sigh

after a small dancing child with cancer

it's an ad, ftr

not dolph trying another new gimmick

great, here they are

complete with paul growing out of brock's left shoulder

long beat before paul remembers his client can't talk until at least halfway through the segment

got to pace himself

braun: "My actions speak for my words!"

...i got nothin

some next-level uplit glower coming from braun though

which i just read back as 'quilt glamour'

next big aesthetic of 2017

this lighting makes braun's tattoos look like absolute shit

i'd provide a pic, but then i'd have to keep looking at them as i tracked one down

just trust me

i think it's the combination of veins and scar tissue

the way this shot is arranged, brock looks like an uncomfortable child as his parents argue over his head

paul decides cole's interview displeases him, so he's writing his own

tbf, cole is entirely unnecessary in this situation

yay, brock's warmed up

leans into camera, and the scale difference makes him and paul look like an 80s album cover

oh hey, brock got to do a mild swear

quick, let's censor it out of all future broadcasts

and the segment's over

thank god

and next...roman delivers a message

OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE

after these recaps of the women's title happenings

yeah, primarily making me double down on the fact that a women's trios competiton would be rad

and they've added bayley to the no mercy match?

for reasons

emma complains on twitter, and she's kind of right

but now (sigh) roman reigns

the presence of roman has made cole forget what time of year it is

he is just a well of negative thought

standard loooooooong-ass beat before he talks

opens by bigging up cena's talking skills

maybe a bad start

and then probably swears? the tape delay caught it

namechecks alex riley as the boring white version of himself

which is...fair, tbh

calls cena a bitch again, take a shot as you despair for the writers' lack of better material

rolls a vt from 20fucking12

of cena basically having the same problem with the rock as roman has with cena

the main difference being i don't want to punch past cena in the face rn

the real angle we want to see is cena v past cena

get on it, r&d

roman calls cena out for not being here today

is smug af

halfway decent promo, but tbh most of the good bits were shamelessly ripped from cena material

which, hey, steal from the best

in any case, he's gone

but now, renee interviews the hardyz

asks them how they're going to deal with fighting each other in the 6-pack

they're both like welp, it's kind of what we do

matt does the broken accent for one line, everyone pops

and wyatt cut

i like to think matt is still in full flow and just hasn't realised the cameras are off

but yeah, here's bray

and here's a total bellas ad

strong juxtaposition

and also an asuka ad

led with a quote from fucking sun tzu

excuse me while i sigh so hard my lungs collapse

like

they're on a big push in china

so someone must have realised it isn't the same country as japan

and yet

this summerslam recap slideshow is mostly a chance for bray's music to keep playing so we can here the full track

which is fucking great

and here's

dustin rhodes

the dramatic renaming is slightly let down by the fact that both his tron and the fucking clothes he's wearing say GOLDUST in big letters

could they not have just put him in some generic gear for this match

cole has clearly just ctrl+f'd his internal monologue, and now he's awkwardly calling dustin rhodes by his full name at every opportunity

but yeah, if you were trying to be the man behind the gimmick, why would you still be wearing the hey-look-at-my-junk bodysuit?

pins bray in the corner ropes, kicks him twice in the inner thigh (honestly officer), and then eats a sister abigail for the pin anyway

cue finn on the tron

dustin can't even have this loss to himself

finn is here to tell a story about his youth

in the form of the next big YA novel

i would totally read a novel series anbout a fictionalised finn bálor

finn points out that even the man behind the demon is a man who made himself a demon

so not exactly harmless

reason 1745 i love finn bálor: understanding of symbology

after this bobby heenan memorial, enzo will be here

so i kind of hope it lasts half an hour

and now the announce team awkwardly eulogise some more

and cut to a video package of his greatest moments

this is about 409000% better than enzo turning up

oh fuck, here he is

i am loving the number of boos he's getting

oh thank fuck here comes braun our lord and saviour to bodycheck him into the underworld

casually chucks him into the ring over the top rope from the floor

san jose loves him

spinebuster to death, then powerslam out the other side

walks off, neville turns up while he's halfway up the ramp

gives the angry giant a wide berth

and red arrows enzo for shits

demands a mic, does enzo's shuffle and how you doin', leaves

and san jose fucking loves him

beating up enzo is not good for your heel heat

oh wait, apparently he's sticking around for a fight

after this ad for smackdown

and this recap vt of enzo getting dunked on

cut to charly interviewing enzo in the trainer's room

he's like woe is me i am dead

but btw i'm still gonna win on sunday

but in any case, now it's neville v gran metalik

rip el rey de las cuerdas

neville tears his mask open

ooooooooooooh

-shocked silence-

metalik responds with a lovely step-up tope

neville intercepts a moonsault into the rings of saturn, successfully stands up to lucha rage

and now after beating enzo, he's painted a huge target on his back for every luchador in the company

but now a hispanic heritage month thing about jennifer lopez

for whatever reason

it's worth noting that we're halfway through september, and wwe hasn't mentioned it until they have time to fill on a ppv setup show

one ad for 205 later, here's elias to open the main event reunion tour

he is disappointed in san jose

but also in all his opponents, so there's that

threatens a child in the audience that he'll get them and their mother kicked out of san jose

do...do wrestlers have that power?

and here's a diss track about his opponents and also btw san jose

interrupted by the hardyz before he can get to their verse

ooh, jeff's gone back to his old pre-mermaid arms sleeves

in all their improbable glory

and curtis and bo don't even have their own entrance any more

oh, and they get their boss to come with them

well, i guess he'd be coming on announce or w/e anyway

ok, no, he's just gonna lurk

and commence huge brawl

someone's brought miz his studio chair for ringside

brief moment where it looks like the heels are all going to work together, then elias is like ohhhh wait i'm a huge dick -kicks bo in the kidneys-

incredibly slow tower of doom setup for the hardyz to suplex the miztourage superplexing jj

elias goes for the cheap pin, jeff breaks it

and then elias eats a poetry in motion for good measure

matt then immediately turns on his brother, side effect for a nearfall

jj deploys approximately 63% of the world's suplexes, miz throws him into the audience because no rules motherfuckers

matt twist of fates bo for a nearfall, broken by elias

who then hits drift away on matt, pin broken by jeff

crotch drops elias, swantons axel, miz breaks the pin

and jj hits kind of a meh neckbreaker for the cheap pin

insistent crowd member with an I PAID TO SEE DANA BROOKE sign

oh, honey

miz comes into the ring to sarcastically applaud jj

and then tries to punch him and gets suplexed to death

until curtis and bo come in to kick some shit out of him

and finale

and some post-beatdown smacktalk from the miz

calls him a bastard, which we can get away with when it's used in its technical sense

and fade on the twat triumphant

(my new feminist porn site)

...

that's the worst joke i've ever made on here

i am sorry

right, this is normally where i would roll on to smackdown

but, while i do have a weekly quota of sweaty men falling over, it's about to be filled by the new season of strictly

i have diverse interests

so until i get back, here's a line to tide you over

----------------------------------

damn, that was a good line

and if anyone was expecting another kind, you are seriously overestimating our budget here

so failing that, how about some SUNDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN?

(yeah, no mercy starts in like nine and a half hours)

(this whole punctuality thing was never going to take)

so yes

do the show

oh god this is going to be the vince mcmahon drama hour, isn't it

now lasting two hours

raw was mostly bullshit, expect this to be bullshit for other reasons

oh hey, let's kick off with a recap of the whole angle

if you can't remember what happened, read this blog more carefully?

really can't help you with that

oh hey, i want to punch vince in the throat again

funny how quickly that comes back

they've put so much reverb and filters on this audio that kevin is basically unrecognisable

his name is legion

ok, yeah, i'll never not pop for vince getting the shit kicked out of him really

we're in oakland today, so [topical joke about the a's]

and opening with some shane

commence the dramening

whoever designed the graphics for hiac this year needs to calm the fuck down

HANDS AND SKULLS ALL HANDS AND SKULLS HANDS OPENING A SKULL HELL IN A CEEEEEEEEEEELL

apparently vince had three fractured ribs

and shane is now here to sing his praises and how much he loves him

one day they'll work out what they want the image of the mcmahon family to be

shane condemns kevin to hell in the cell [sic]

work out the name of your show, dude

HANDS AND SKULLS AND FIIIIIIIIIRE

okay, now i need to calm down

but later tonight in other angles, corbin/styles for the concept of an open challenge

but next, randy

come back shane, all is forgiven

well

most is forgiven

but first, have this ad for cena/reigns

again

i miss creepy cheerleader cult alexa

oh, and here's aiden english

guess we know what randy's here for

sweet lennon shades, dude

aiden provides his own dubiously-scanning version of randy's music

calls him a tool, gets a massive pop

keep the faith, oakland

shot of the announce table reminds me once more of the a+ announce team on here

and here's randy

oh look, still a tool

"this could be a well-laid plan by aiden english...or it could be a crucifixion"

byron saying what we're all thinking

my money's in column b

guy at the front of the round with a kane sign is either slightly ahead of events or significantly behind

we will see tonight

aiden takes a backbreaker on the barricade, then slams randy into the announce table anyway

nice to see him get some solid offence

still gonna lose, but

gets a thumb to randy's eye while he argues with the ref

adding randy to the calm the fuck down list

and then counters a top rope crossbody into a shoddy-ass rko

handy slowmo replay of the shittiness of that finisher

oh hey, here's rusev to defend the honour of musical theatre

or possibly to recover his honour in the eyes of the noble people of bulgaria

or to...rip randy's teeth out?

esoteric threat there

randy agrees to the match, then immediately gets momentarily distracted by aiden and kicked in the face for the pin

rusev then runs off up the ramp instead of getting down to tooth-ripping

i'm simultaneously disappointed and thankful

stands on the stage, rejoices at his reclaimed honour

oh, but tom has news

kevin will be here via satellite

from the next room

seems inefficient, but hey

tradition

also tonight, charlotte's back to talk about her dad

but now, here's jinder

walking backstage sharing smug stories with his crew

and he'll be here after this ad for kids with cancer

or

what's the opposite of an ad?

like

an avert?

but then it'd just be an a

appropriately for oakland i guess

BOOOOOOOM SPORTS JOKE

damn, i'm good

ad for total bellas, and now rusev is freaking out backstage

renee comes to interview him, has to immediately explain the word 'elated'

rusev is off back to bulgaria to be a hero again

but now, here are the singhs and their amazing alveolar trills

and also their boss

in a possibly ill-advised spotted shirt

or maybe i just spend too much time critiquing wrestlers' fashion choices

jinder is doubling down on mocking shinsuke's face

this is the most incisive and well-written angle

the singhs are continuing to find jinder's jokes more hilarious than is healthy

and now jinder's getting at the crowd for being racist against japanese people?

sure, dude

they've spun a really long mic spot out of one pic of shinsuke and a bunch of racism

oh, and there's the japanese people can't say /l/ joke

credit to oakland for all just going oooooooooh there

this is genuinely breathtakingly racist

crowd start a that's too far chant

p sure he crossed that line weeks back, but welcome to the party

we have whisky and non-discriminatory humour

does some ranting in punjabi to 3% of the people of his alleged country, end segment

the announcers are all like yeah, that was a bit much

let's move on and try to forget that

up next, corbin/styles

in the allegedly open title challenge

after this repeat of the video about j-lo off raw

remember last year when they did the whole month of different latinx people?

but sure

but now, renee interviews shinsuke

who's like yeah that jinder's a funny guy -lowkey furious-

and then leaves

and here's aj

and a replay of styles/dillinger last week

that was a good match

aj has thoughts about kevin/shane

he thinks kevin shouldn't be messing with the man who brought aj to the wwe and started smackdown live

um

remember mania?

but now to talk shit about "shortcut king" baron

and list his recent failures

(which are hilarious)

and here comes the dick himself

with his new intro i still don't quite get

corey is talking shit about baron for seeing the us belt as a trophy

which...it is?

gregg mentions aj's weight, and i get briefly distracted by the fact that he'd only need to cut a few pounds to be a cruiserweight and how good aj/cedric would be

anyway, while i thought about that, baron attacked aj before the bell, leading tye to run in and take the fight to him

refs have removed tye, but baron's selling a fucked leg

so aj puts him in the calf crusher as well, cos why wouldn't you

hit aj's music, guess the thing's over

with baron rolling around at ringside going OW MY LEG

we get it, dude

but up next, charlotte

after pizza hut gives us a random clip of the past

this time, it's mitb 2011

i have no fucking clue what rationale they pick these clips on

but hey, it's nice to watch bryan win things

and here's baron hobbling around backstage

renee comes to interview him, he screams about feeling violated

not sure that was where you wanted to go with that, dude

swears vengeance, end thing

and here's charlotte

in street clothes

and oh look, she and her dad have written a book and it's out today

such coincidence

remember when charlotte was meant to be her own thing distinct from her family?

she's here to thank everyone for their tweets and positive energy

or possibly thoughts and prayers

the former seems more likely these days

but ric is apparently going to be ok, so i can resume talking shit about him without feeling bad about it

one day he'll die and i'll feel momentarily bad for all the crap i've said about him before going on with my life

charlotte has learnt an important lesson about the fragility of life and shit

and here's nattie to be insensitive

she's like cool your dad's ok but let's talk about the important shit

nattie is hosting wwe's first ever celebration of women?

like

it's totally a thing they should do

but we have a heel doing it, so this is going to be shitty

okay, yeah, it's going to be celebrating all women by looking at nattie in particular

because we're all basically her

charlotte's just like yeah whatever i want a title shot

good shutdown

and here's becky to be sarcastic

in a really nice waistcoat

and also challenge for the title

oh, and here's naomi

who can imagine why

in an enormous white pimp robe

sure

i take it back

an enormous multicoloured pulsing pimp robe

she doesn't even get to say she wants a shot before tamina and lana cut in

lana's here to talk about how bitches ain't shit and her client deserves a shot

so nattie has a tantrum outside the ring about all these women overshadowing her celebration of women

here's noted non-woman daniel bryan to weigh in

making the main event a four-way for a title shot

remember when there was more than one angle in the division?

ha

of course you don't

never happened

and up next, new day/hype bros

the building may explode with enthusiasm

after this ad for brock/braun, at least

back in the room, the bros are already here

and the usos are on announce

lovely shot of someone in the crowd joining in with the new day intro but forgetting how many times they've been champs

loving all the match card graphics, where big e is totally doing his best broken matt hardy

meanwhile in the match, mojo steals e's ab stretch spank thing

but yeah, they've announced new day/usos rematch at hiac

like anyone didn't know that was coming

e takes a broski boot, kofi shows he can fuck a team up on his own

zack tries for a rollup, eats a midnight hour for the pin

usos front, new day party, end thing

but now let's go back to the mcmahon drama

leading with a recap of vince getting beat on

and now here's kevin via satellite from what looks like a high school theatre supplies room

still life with canadian, spotlight and big red square, 2017

kevin is sorry for what he did, but it's all shane's fault for making him want to do it

claims to have nothing but respect for vince

he's also apologising in advance for the carnage at hiac

and maintaining that he's the good guy here

end thing

have a graphic for the women's four-way

and an ad for john cena's superhero body spray

which you should not attempt

and now here are the hype bros backstage

mojo is tired of losing all the time

proposes drastic action

but now here's dolph

presumably to complain about gimmicks

which he's made into its own gimmick, so it's only a matter of time before wrestling collapses in on itself

and then i'll have to watch scandinavian crime dramas for this blog or something

daniel's ears pricked up at that

i told you, no cable knit jumpers in my studio

in any case, dolph is now being hhh

"Was that fun? Can I run NXT now?"

and now he has more things

corey is filled with rage and despair

and now he's hbk

except modern hbk

hat and flares, no shades or weird bondage vest

oakland is united in wanting him to do cm punk

dolph ziggler, celebrity impressionist

dolph rants some more, goes back out

and now he's in dx

remember when we had cumbersome overlays as part of entrances

i kind of love it

the dx music is still great, too

dolph rails against dx trying to stay relevant, despite the fact that they haven't been since the late 90s

shouts at the crowd for not appreciating the craft

and he doesn't care about the crowd

cares enough to choreograph numerous elaborate entrances with costumes and props and shit, but hey

and then wanders off

is this going anywhere in particular, or is it just that we had some time to fill?

announce team move swiftly on to hyping no mercy

but next, main event

i'm not optimistic for the chances of the one heel in this match

especially because it's tamina, and she doesn't get to win things

after this ad for 2k18, in any case

back in the ring, becky's already here

but fuck that, let's have an ad for 205

oh, and tamina's already here too

becky at least got music

and here's naomi

showing us that enormous fur robes are actually really hard to dance in

i do like her mismatched eyeshadow though

charlotte's back in one of her dad's robes, which makes a certain amount of sense

i still miss peacock queen charlotte

oh, and lana's lurking at ringside

hadn't noticed

match starts, immediately go to a roman/cena ad

because why bother actually watching the main event

all three faces briefly team up to dunk on tamina, because why wouldn't you

naomi springboard crossbodies charlotte and becky simultaneously, cos she's great

pan out to nattie watching the match and looking smug

naomi gets her submission on charlotte, becky breaks it up so she can disarmher naomi

because submission wrestling goes so well in a four-way

charlotte spears tamina, it's pretty great

and then moonsaults her and naomi simultaneously

i talk a lot of shit about charlotte, but it's good to have her back

becky breaks a figure eight with a leg drop, which seems dangerous as fuck

everyone is dead

becky takes a samoan drop and then a splash from tamina, naomi breaks up the pin in a really cool way, lana pulls her out and gets fucked on, and then something i didn't quite catch put tamina down for a pin by charlotte

oh right

superkicked naomi, then took a big boot from charlotte

she does do a very big boot indeed

so yeah, charlotte/nattie at hiac

feel like we've seen this before

but hey, who am i to expect variation and originality in wrestling

and we fade on charlotte being like fuck yeah my dad isn't dead also something about a match

right, hopefully this'll get posted before no mercy

if it does, hmu on twitter @waruce if you don't already

but for now, i'm off to watch the rest of the week's wrestling before i run out of week

[hymn2000]

Called To Be A Rock - Frostiron feat. Spiderson AU fanfic - C25

Previous chapters: 1  2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

Comments/reviews/questions welcome as always

Overall Desc.:  Peter is staying with Tony and Loki one summer while his aunt is away working/travelling.

Chapter Desc.: Being so high up in the air can be strange, especially for extended periods of time

Ship(s) involved: Tony x Loki aka Frostiron

Verse: Personal AU

Ongoing Warnings/themes/cw mentions: domestic, hurt/comfort, family dynamic, Tony in Dad Mode, holiday stuff, conflict

Chapter 25 - Get Over Your Hill And See What You Find There

-

Peter looked out of the window until civilisation as he knew it faded from sight, left far below. The seat belt light turned off, and once the others did, he slowly undid his seat belt and got up again, having a little wander over to the other side of the plane and seeing if the view was any different. It wasn’t. 

“Are you two going to watch that film then?” 

Peter shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe” 

“Well, do whatever you like, as long as you don’t disturb me” Tony said, going over and flopping down on one of the sofas. “I’m driving when we land, so I could do with the rest” 

He put a pillow under his head and closed his eyes. Loki went and lay on top of him, and Tony held onto him and turned onto his side, cuddling up against him and soon falling asleep. Peter watched them for a little while, half wishing the sofa was big enough for him too. He tried not to feel left out. He looked round the jet. It was like nothing he’d ever seen before, with plush seats and sofas, a soft thick carpet, a small kitchenette, a big telly, charging ports, tables, and all sorts of other home comforts. He wanted to have a proper look at everything - but he was still so tired. It was still only about 6.30am, although it didn’t really feel like it. Tony had left his shoulder bag on one of the units. Peter rifled through it, finding a thin fleece blanket and Loki’s pig, and he took them over to one of the other sofas. He curled up on his side, wrapped up in the blanket while the pig served as a makeshift pillow. The soft sounds of the plane flying through the sky acted as a soothing white noise, and it wasn’t long before Peter fell asleep again.

- 

Peter woke up a couple of hours later. He looked over at the other sofa, and saw that Tony was still fast asleep, but Loki was awake, scrolling on his phone. Loki sensed himself being watched, and looked up, making eye contact with Peter. He set the phone down and got up, careful not to disturb Tony. Peter didn’t move. Loki knelt down on the floor in front of him. 

“You’ve taken my pig” 

“He makes a good cushion” 

“I know. Do you want to go back to sleep?” 

“No, I’m ok now. I’m hungry though. Have we got anything to eat?” 

Loki stood up, going over to the kitchenette and opening the cupboards. “What do you fancy?” 

Peter sat up, pulling the blanket back round himself. “I don’t know. I’d be happy with just cereal, to be honest” 

He got up, keeping the pig in his arms, and went over to him. He was surprised at how much stuff was in the cupboards. 

“I- I don’t suppose we’ve got any tea?” 

Loki switched the kettle on and took down a couple of tin mugs from the cupboard. Peter looked at them. 

“Moomins!” 

Loki smiled. “Moomins. They’re lovely mugs, don’t you think?” 

Peter nodded, picking them up and having a proper look at the pictures. He held up the navy one depicting Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden by the campfire. 

“Can I use this one?” 

“If you’d like. Here, put them down now: kettles nearly boiled” 

Peter did as he was asked. He was happy to see they’d brought the chai tea with them: he’d developed quite a taste for it. He was impressed by the little fridge too. He now understood what Tony meant when he’d said you sometimes forgot you were flying while on the jet: it definitely felt more like a little hotel suite than a plane.

-

Loki sat back, looking at the picture of Moomin’s in a boat on his own mug. Peter sat beside him, pig under one arm, leaning his back against his side.

“Shall we watch that film now?”

“Sure, if you’d like” Loki answered, turning the telly on and flicking through the Roku menu until he found it. “I love this: it’s definitely my favourite Wallace and Gromit one”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s such a classic: it’s so charming. It’s the little details that make it”

Peter smiled up at him. “I love it when you like human things. I swear you get cuter every day”

“Don’t get carried away” Loki said, but he put an arm round his chest and held him close. 

They both got lost in the film. They were quiet, aside a few laughs and comments about how nice the cheese looked and how scary the robot was. 

-

Loki switched the telly off once the credits started rolling.

“Have we got a pack of cards anywhere?” Peter asked.

“Ah, you want to make a tower?” Loki said. “I think there’s some in that drawer over there”

Peter set his empty mug down and left the pig on the sofa while he went and found the pack of cards. He settled on the floor and begun making his tower of cards. Loki sat down on the floor to talk to him. They were quiet at first, but as the conversation progressed, they grew louder, joking and mucking about together, making quite a racket.

A book collided with the side of Loki’s head, and he flinched at the impact. It hurt a lot, and his eyes smarted.

“What was that for?!” he looked up at Tony, who stood with the heavy book in his hand, looking less than impressed.

“I asked you to be quiet and let me rest”

“Well, sorry, but there’s no need to whack me one”

“Isn’t there?” he said, and smacked him with the book again, just to prove a point. 

“OW! Tony!”

"Be quiet” Tony looked at Peter. “The same goes for you, Mister”

He gave Peter a gentle tap with the book. He barely touched him, but Peter still blinked a bit. He looked over at Loki, who rubbing his head and looking pretty sorry for himself. 

“Keep the noise down, please” Tony said, going back over to the sofa.

“Are we nearly there yet?” Peter asked.

Tony checked his watch. “We’re not yet half way. We’ve still got a while to go, kiddo”

He lay down and pulled a cushion over his face, blocking them out. Peter turned to Loki, only to find that he’d retreated to the back sofa. Peter swallowed. There’d definitely been a mood shift.

-

Peter tidied up and then went over to the back sofa. Loki was on his side, facing the back of the sofa, his pig over his face.

“Mr Loki? Are you ok?” 

“I’m fine” Loki mumbled. 

Peter didn’t know what else to say. He clambered onto the sofa, squeezing into the gap between Loki and the back of the sofa, wriggling under the mans arm. Loki sighed, taking the pig from his face and holding it, and Peter, under his arm. 

“You shouldn’t lie to me. I’m just a kid: I’m very impressionable”

Loki couldn’t help laughing. “You’re a weird kid alright. Maybe that’s why we get on so well”

“Maybe, or maybe it’s the opposites thing. Y’know, young and old, human and god, sweet and... not”

“Did you just call me old?”

“Well, you’re like, a thousand years old. That is old, even if you don’t look it. By human standards, anyway. But yeah, even if you weren’t a god, just going off looks, still older than me”

“Ok, ok, I get it. And hold on a moment; who ever said I wasn’t sweet? And more to the point, who ever said you were?”

“What are you saying? I’m sweet! Kinda”

“You’re many things, Peter, but you’re not sweet. Not all the time, anyway: just sometimes. It’s not your most defining personality trait” Loki said.

“Which is?”

“Stubbornness”

Peter was surprised. “Stubbornness?”

“Yes. And persistence. You’re very like Tony, in that respect. And you’re clever. Maybe that’s another reason you fit in so well with us”

Peter decided to be flattered. “I like it with you and Mr Stark, y’know. I was pretty nervous at first, especially after when we first met...”

“Well, perhaps jumping you with a training session wasn’t the best way to make a first impression” Loki admitted. “I really wasn’t going to stab you, I hope you know that”

“I know. You said right back then. I believed you. I still do. It was still scary though. You do still scare me sometimes, but so does Mr Stark”

“Really? Why?”

Peter shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t like it when you two get angry or start arguing. And there was that whole thing where you went to stay with your brother and Mr Stark went all funny. That was pretty scary”

Loki looked at him sadly. “I didn’t realise we scared you”

“Well, ok, maybe ‘scared’ is too strong a word. That night, that one I mentioned? I really did get scared then. And I got scared that night I got into trouble for drinking and smoking. But that was proper fear, not little fear”

“You’ve lost me”

“Well, it’s a different kind of fear. Like, you know how there’s a difference between being scared about a dentist appointment and being scared because you nearly fell down the stairs? Nervous! That’s the word I was looking for. I do get nervous when you two argue. I’m glad you don’t do it much”

Loki stroked Peter’s hair. “You don’t have to be scared, and you certainly don’t have to be nervous. Disregard our spats for a moment: does Tony make you nervous?”

“Not any more. I know him so much better now. I think he’s great. I know what I can get away with and when I need to watch myself. I’m comfortable with him. He’s kinda like family now...”

“You two are so far in the father-and-son zone, it’s almost embarrassing” Loki teased. “What about me? Do I make you nervous?”

Peter rested his forehead against Loki’s chest so he didn’t have to look at him. “Yeah. But mainly because- well, because... Because I like you” 

“I know” Loki sat up, pulling Peter onto his lap so they were facing each other. 

“But, yknow, aside from that, you don’t make me nervous. I’m comfortable with you too. I never really expected to be. Ned loves it, thinks its cool”

“Thinks what’s cool?”

“Well, you know, us. Being friends with you. Messing about with you. Being close to you...” he paused, thinking of their wrestling matches and cuddle sessions and their trips to the shops. “You know I love you”

“I love you too. You’ve grown to mean such a lot to me while you’ve been with us”

Peter nodded, touching his cheekbone gently. One side of his face was still rather red. “Does it still hurt?”

“It’s fine” Loki said. Peter gave him a look. “Ok, it still hurts a little bit”

Peter knelt up, one hand on Loki’s shoulder, and he planted a series of kisses over his sore cheek. 

“What are you up to, kiddo?”

Peter pulled back for a moment, and kissed him firmly on the lips. 

“Better?”

Loki burst out laughing, and Peter quickly covered his mouth with his hand.

“Shh! We’ll wake Mr Stark again” 

“Sod it; he’ll cope” 

Loki pinned Peter down on his back on the sofa. Peter squeaked, trying to stay quiet. He didn’t want Tony getting grumpy at them again. He looked up at Loki.

“I think it’s about time someone made a fuss of you for a change”

“Mr Stark’s always fussing over me. You saw all the new stuff he bought me”

“I was thinking of a different sort of fussing”

A sudden image of being pulled close and kissed deeply flashed through Peter’s mind, and he blushed at the thought. The reality was of course much more chaste. Loki rubbed his nose against Peter’s for a moment, and started kissing all over his face. Peter giggled, living up to his claim of being sweet. He couldn’t help basking in the attention and appreciating the feel of Loki’s body against his own. He kept trying to think of Loki as a father figure, but his crush was still going strong and this ambition wasn’t seeing any kind of success just yet. He felt Loki’s hand on his hip, and the kissing stopped. Loki smiled down at him.

“You’ve gone all red”

Peter just stuck his tongue out at him. Loki grinned, slipping his hand under Peter’s shirt and tickling his stomach. Peter shrieked, grabbing at Loki’s hand.

“Don’t! Don’t, I’m ticklish!”

“I know” Loki said, continuing.

Peter shrieked again - and suddenly remembered Tony. He craned his head to look, thankfully finding him asleep. Still, he was bubbling over with laughter now, and was forced to cover his mouth with his hand to stop himself from being too loud.

“Mr Loki, stop it! We’re gonna wake Mr Stark!”

They did indeed wake him - but he was in a much better mood this time. He went over to them.

“Are you torturing our little guest?”

“Perhaps” Loki answered, not taking his eyes off the funny creature collapsed in a fit of giggles beneath him. 

“Do you need a hand?”

Not waiting for a reply, he grabbed Peter’s wrists, pinning them above his head and tickling under his arms. Peter shrieked, trying to pull free.

“Stop! This isn’t fair; I’m outnumbered!” 

Loki and Tony exchanged a mischievous look, and both continued until the boy was weak and helpless with laughter.

-

Peter was greatly relieved to be released. He continued to giggle weakly for a good thirty seconds afterwards, and they both laughed at him. 

“You’re a funny thing” Loki said, ruffling his hair. 

“Have you had anything to eat, kiddo?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, I had something before we watched the film”

“Good. Can’t have you going hungry” Tony looked at Loki. “And yourself?”

“I’m not hungry”

“You should have something anyway”

“Oh Tony, don’t start”

Tony didn’t push it. “Why don’t we stick something on the telly? Pass the time a bit”

Peter sat up. “What do you wanna watch?”

“I don’t know... Hey, how about the one with the evil penguin?”

“What, Feathers Mcgraw?” Loki said. “I think you’ll find he’s actually a chicken”

“He’s also the scariest villain on earth” Peter said, laughing. 

“It’s the fucking trousers that creep me out” Loki said, wrinkling his nose.

Tony gave him a tap. “Hey, what have I told you about swearing in front of the kid?”

Loki merely rolled his eyes. He felt Tony was being hypocritical. 

-

Tony had something to eat while they settled to watch the film. Peter sat on Loki’s lap, squeaking and shuddering in exaggerated fear whenever the penguin was on screen. Loki joined in on the charade, holding Peter tight and claiming he felt threatened.

Tony watched them fondly, quite enjoying their little game. He knew there was a level of sincerity to their claims (“I’m terrified of this penguin and I don’t care who knows it”), but mostly he was just happy to see how close they were. He loved Loki with every fibre of his being, and Peter was very quickly gaining the same level of devotion from him - not that he’d ever admit it. He was overcome with a feeling of utter contentment as he sat there, half watching the film, and half watching his funny little family.

-

“Right, well, I’m suitably scared to death” Peter said, grabbing the remote and turning the telly off. “So, what now?”

“Diamond heist?” Loki suggested.

Peter gave him a look. “I’m being serious”

“So am I”

“You two are ridiculous” Tony said, going over to the kitchenette. 

“How long have we been in the air for?” Peter asked.

Tony checked his watch. “Around five hours now”

“Woah, really? That’s mad” 

���Lolly, why don’t you get your book out and read to him for a bit?” Tony suggested.

Loki got up, finding Tony’s bag and digging out Anne of Green Gables. 

“Where did we get up to?”

Peter thought for a moment. “We’d just finished chapter fourteen”

It had been quite a while since they’d read together. Loki sat back on the sofa, and Peter climbed into his lap again, wrapping the fleece blanket round his legs and settling back against his chest. Loki opened the book, cleared his throat, and begun to read:

“‘What a splendid day!’ said Anne, drawing a long breath. ‘Isn’t it good just to be alive on a day like this? I pity the people who aren’t born yet for missing it. They may have good days, of course, but they can never have this one. And it’s splendider still to have such a lovely way to go to school by, isn’t it?’”

-

“‘Miss Barry was a kindred spirit, after all’, Anne confided to Marilla. ‘You wouldn’t think so to look at her, but she is. You don’t find it right out at first, as in Matthew’s case, but after a while you come to see it. Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world’”

Loki set the book down on the arm of the sofa and kissed Peter on the cheek.

“That’ll do for now”

“Aww” Peter whined, disappointment, but accepted it. 

“You ought to do audio books, darling” Tony said, glancing up from his phone. “You’ve got a good reading voice: I never knew that about you”

“Well, you learn something new every day” Loki said. 

He pushed Peter off his lap and went to sit next to Tony, cuddling up against him. Peter decided to interfere, and plonked himself down in the middle of them. Tony smiled, wrapping the blanket round him better and holding both of them close against himself.

-

Loki and Peter both fell asleep again. Tony eventually got up to sort some things, leaving them curled up in a little huddle like a couple of little aardvarks. 

The day was getting on. They’d flown many miles, passing over water and landmasses unknown, passing through different countries and timezones - different worlds than the one they knew. 

The eighth hour was approaching. A notice was passed to him, and he smiled to himself. He gave Loki and Peter a little shake.

“Wake up now, darlings”

They did, blinking a bit and leaning against each other as they looked up at him. Tony smiled at them.

“Get up now” he said gently. “We’ll be landing soon”

Peter and Loki looked at each other, and got up, hurrying over to the window, peering out. It was dusky, seemingly early evening, which felt very strange indeed, considering it could be no later than about 2pm in New York. They could see a city, or a town, all bright lights and buildings and roads as far as the eye could see. Well, not quite: there was definitely some greenery in the distance. It looked so normal - but so different too. 

Soon, an airport came into view. They knew they’d soon have to sit and put their belts back on, so they made the most of the view they had now, still at a loss. Loki had his arms round Peter. Peter looked up at him, his expression asking if Loki knew where they were. Loki looked at Tony, so Peter did too. Tony was looking very pleased with himself. He grinned at them.

“Welcome to England”

*