#who are unwilling to consider it even a viable reading

[235uranium]

god. atlus really is going to milk the fact that 75% of the fandom accepts akeshu as the Canon Pairing without being willing to just fucking say it

[orowyrm]

i still haven’t unlocked all of the grimoire lore pages because RNG hates me but i’ve read them (or rather. vik read them to me over call while i was doing tank maintenance. hehe) and ohhhh the implications are all so compelling but what gets me the most off the top of my head:

- tales of duviri was based on stories albrecht used to make up for euleria as a young child, complete with goofy character voices. he also somehow considers himself a complete failure of a father, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary.

- loid was not only fully aware of exactly what albrecht was trying to accomplish the whole time, but very much an active participant. he was the one who gave al the idea for the vessels. he knows exactly what was happening and was in fact an active enabler in most of his crazy science shenanigans

- albrecht came FRUSTRATINGLY CLOSE to actually finding the ‘correct’ answer to beating back the indifference when he was in duviri but basically ‘this sign won’t stop me because i can’t read’-ed right back out of it and decided that he alone was uniquely irredeemable and deserved to suffer for his mistakes and needed to continue digging this hole even deeper

- the reason bird 3 doesn’t have a proper name like fibonacci tagfer and minn is because he was literally just picked at random as an ‘expendable’ animal to balance out the diversity of the test subjects. he also considered kalymos a viable test animal, but couldn’t bring himself to potentially cause her any harm. he somehow finds a way to feel just as guilty about not potentially killing an animal as he is about killing countless other animals. this guy has ISSUES

- the vessels are made in part from tissue samples from arthur and aoi that he brought back to deimos

- he has been to 1999 and back several times before and interacted with arthur and aoi seemingly fairly extensively. they believe him to be a doctor trying to protect people from the technocyte plague, and he used this as a front to secretly start turning them into partial warframes.

- he basically became so consumed by the guilt of his cavia experiment being a failure that he decided his only option to redeem himself was to graduate to unwilling/unknowing human test subjects instead. 10/10 no notes keep up the good work 👍 this will only go well

[gaast]

Just read an opinion piece on GI.biz arguing that Game Freak needs to give itself longer development cycles simply and purely to ensure that their games' quality is closer to "polished" and to 9 or 10 out of 10 scores, rather than any number of other more important reasons to take more time making games, such as giving the employees actually doing the work time to live and breathe and not just be workers.

The article is also really weird because it seems to treat Legends: Arceus as something totally divorced from the story of Scarlet and Violet. The writer argued that Legends, given its popularity, might have been better served given a few more months for polish and released Christmas 2022, with the mainline games coming out November 2023, but to say that is to ignore the clear continuity between Legends's design and Scarlet and Violet's. Do we really, like, do we really think that Scarlet and Violet's design was inevitable, that Legends's success did absolutely nothing to contribute to the final decision to make the later games what they are? Is it not possible--or even probable--that the games' performance issues stem from a waffling through initial development on whether the games would even be open-world, and then, given the spinoff's success, a too-late declaration that yes, this is how it now must be?

Regardless, another story in here is that supposed inevitability, the inattention to the detail that the Legends gameplay was reserved for a spinoff until it wasn't. Put another way, the Scarlet and Violet gameplay isn't Pokémon gameplay. I don't know what's making everyone think that open-world games are simply inevitable, as if what's popular is always what will be done, but at the end of the day we always have to consider whether a work of art changes when its fundamentals are altered.

It may sound like a bizarre reference to make here, but consider Elden Ring, another open-world take on a core that to that point had not been. Like it or not, Elden Ring suffers because of its open world design. It doesn't even stand up to Dark Souls III because its design isn't tight, its levels only memorable in terms of thematics, not both thematics and specifics, and the core Souls gameplay feels ever more shoehorned into a game that seems unwilling to accommodate them. Hence the poor field bosses and just atrociously-designed level bosses, particularly the ones that are just... there. Everything fits together poorly. Everything expanded just to make it clear how circumscribed the game is by its design limitations, limitations considered a feature, not a bug, of open-world design.

But I'm a fool for saying that, of course; the game was hugely popular.

I know that a lot of people refuse to make a distinction between what's popular and what's good, but it's a very easy one to make if you're even slightly rigorous. Anyway, just because other open-world games were popular, it doesn't meant that anything and everything should follow that lead. They're not necessarily good fits.

The problem with making Pokémon open-world is the sheer, fundamental cowardice endemic to Nintendo. To make Pokémon properly open-world, it requires expansive changes to the game's fundamentals to even begin to justify the switch. Turn-based battles become utter nonsense; you need to issue real-time commands to a Pokémon. Battles can't be closed; you must be chased, and other nearby creatures must be able to enter the fight. Gyms can't exist. Levels can't work as they used to. In fact, most Pokémon need to become simply and completely non-viable. Friendship, similarly, no longer works, nor do IVs, and EVs don't either. To make it all cohere, it requires a strong, driving narrative force, something that requires roleplay rather than suggesting it; you can't be a child exploring the world but an adult with a purpose who is braving it. At least there's something about the Lands Between that justifies the thematic decision to make them an open space. It is all hostility, with the only safe space set at a distant, impassable remove from the rest of the world.

And finally, there's no way in hell it can be on the Nintendo Switch. You really think there's enough development time in the world to get decent, modern performance out of that piece of trash? That Xenoblade Chronicles 3's best cutscenes look like they could almost pass for a PS4 game is nothing short of a miracle, and that clearly required cutting so many corners everywhere else that it at times looks downright embarrassing. And they couldn't release that game finished, either.

They, and fans, either need to accept that getting what you want means fundamentally and completely altering the very fundamentals of the series you love, so much so as to make it something completely different, or redefine the formula within the bounds of the series's fundamentals and refine them to a sheen. You know, the direction Black and White went in for that brief, lovely period before their direct sequels were released.

But I'm just a hater.

[anextraordinarymuse]

Thoughts on 1x01: Pilot

So @jonesgirl88 and I have been struggling to nail down the timeline of Signed, Sealed, Delivered (Katie likes puzzles and I'm an analyzer, but it's also helpful for fic writing purposes). I went back and re-watched it all from the very first episode, and, well ... I have Thoughts™.

First, and unrelated to anything to do with Oliver x Shane ... Oliver had some great one liners in the pilot. "I have a government service pay level higher than you can count", and "It's Shakespeare, peasants." Perfection!

Okay, at the time of the pilot we learn that Shane's dad has died some time in the last 14 months. We also learn that her dad is the reason that Shane is a rule breaker now despite being a rule follower at heart (she went to see him in the hospital, was turned away because it was outside of visiting hours, and then her dad died in the night before she could work things out with him/apologize/say goodbye). So, Shane's rebellious streak is fairly new when she meets Oliver. Also, Oliver and Shane are (at heart) more alike than either of them initially realizes.

Charlie and Kelly (the letter and characters that the pilot story follows) and their story foreshadows Oliver and Shane's story, but you only start to understand that on a second watch through. (Actually, in many ways, every story in every episode mirrors Oliver and Shane and their journey to each other to some extent). Examples: Charlie is working at a job that is just a job to him and is stuck in a rut when he meets Kelly (this is Shane; she tells Oliver that their job is "just a job, not some woo woo spiritual journey."); Kelly isn't really living her life because she's dying and has mostly accepted it, but changes her mind and wants to live after she meets Charlie (this is Oliver; he's alive but not living, and it's only Shane's arrival that makes him want to change). Kelly and Charlie spend one day together and then are separated for a year - a year in which Kelly has to put in the time and the effort to change and get better (health-wise) before she can meet Charlie where he is when she meets him. He's ready to jump in feet first immediately, but Kelly isn't.

Shane is ready to jump in feet first immediately when she meets Oliver, but Oliver has work that he has to do before he can meet her where she is (not just Holly, but in figuring out how to let himself move on and learn to live again).

Shane picks up on the fact that Rita has feelings for Norman as soon as meets them despite the fact that Norman is totally clueless. When they're in the bar toward the end of the episode, Rita asks Norman to dance and he redirects and asks to play shuffle board instead. The camera shows us both Shane and Oliver's reaction to that: Oliver's expression is more subtle, but they both know that Norman is missing the point and a chance right there by declining. After Norman and Rita walk away, Shane says "she has a terrible crush on him, you know that right?" And Oliver replies "that's very insightful, considering she absolutely terrifies him." Who says which line is very telling here (as we'll soon start to see): Shane has a terrible crush on Oliver, and she terrifies him. Mostly because she is unwilling to let him stay frozen: Shane expects more from Oliver than anyone else he knows and won't let him remain stuck. We can safely say even from this pilot episode that Oliver isn't the biggest fan of change, and can be very resistant to it (but will eventually warm up to change, given time).

On a side note, and I've already mentioned this before, but Oliver and Shane have absolutely zero concept of personal space from the get go. 90% of the time they stand close enough to touch each other for absolutely no reason. (Their arms and shoulders often brush or touch each other). And in almost every shot where it shows the four of our postables standing together, Shane is alone on one side of Oliver and Norman and Rita default to the other side, or Shane and Oliver are next to each other regardless of where Rita and Norman are standing. The only time Rita or Norman stand or sit between Oliver and Shane is when they aren't getting along; otherwise, there's literally nothing (physical) separating Shane and Oliver. This blocking visually establishes the connection between these two, and it does it right from the start.

Here's examples of what I mean about the blocking.

Example 1:

Example 2:

Example 3:

Example 4:

Oliver and Shane start healing each other from day one. They start giving up little pieces of their pain and trauma immediately. Oliver tells Shane about his wife; Shane tells him about her dad; she calls him out on not facing the truth and finding his wife; he calls her out on not wanting to open her birthday card and face her pain. But at the end of the episode, they both rise to the other person's challenge: Oliver gives Charlie a sewing kit that he took from the hotel in DC that he stayed in when Holly left him (literally giving away a piece of his pain); Shane opens her birthday card from her father and uses the $20 inside to buy coffee for herself and the others. Shane and Oliver are each other's catalyst for change and healing.

Oliver's change is also reflected in the fate of the DLO. At one point in the pilot the DLO is being shut down because it's no longer viable/has outlived its purpose. At the end of the episode, rather than being shut down the DLO is actually expanded (or, you know ... it grows/changes). Oliver is the DLO, and both needed Shane's arrival and presence to move forward.

Remember a few paragraphs ago when I said that Oliver and Shane both witnessed Norman's missed (or given up) opportunity to dance with Rita? Well, Oliver doesn't miss or pass up his chance to dance with Shane even though we learn later on that he apparently doesn't dance. Shane has already challenged and goaded Oliver several times in the episode by this point (even pleaded with him at one point) and he has ignored several of them or resisted her ideas and influence, but he still doesn't let this opportunity go without answer. In fact, it's interesting that in a professional capacity Oliver is rather resistant to Shane and her influence: he won't keep reading the letter, he won't just deliver the letter to Charlie even though they're standing right outside his house ... Oliver won't step out of bounds despite all of Shane's pleading and prodding. But personally? Oliver blows right through his self-imposed boundaries. During their first meeting Oliver says he won't call her Shane, but he proceeds to do it twice later in the episode (once even calling her "my dear Shane"); she tries to leave and he immediately goes after her and doesn't accept her attempt to quit; we only find this one out later, but apparently Oliver doesn't dance ... yet he dances with Shane the first time she asks.

This is a masterful way to introduce us to the division and dichotomy that exists in Oliver (and that becomes more apparent as we go, specifically between Holly and Shane). One of my favorite things about this show is how they establish Shane and Oliver's connection not just from the beginning, but through multiple mediums and layers.

We'll explore all of this more in episode two.

[pointnumbersixteen]

Alternate Endings: a Second Short Interlude to My Character Analysis

We’ve reached the point where it’s time to consider how Cap died. 

I was originally going to write this as a post-script, but decided to write and post this first, just so that the people who aren’t comfortable reading the content of part 7 of my character analysis would have something else to refer to. So, if you’re not comfortable with the content warnings on part 7 (which I’ll probably post tomorrow, once it’s edited) or you’re not convinced of the arguments I make or if you just find it too depressing, here are some alternatives. I think the manner of death that I discuss in part 7 is correct, from the information we have, but I consider all of these viable options, save that in these options I don’t know how to make his ribbons being on upside-down/backwards fit.

Anyway, here they are. 

Option 1: heart attack. I’ve seen a lot of people proposing that he had a heart attack upon hearing of Havers’ death. That bit’s unlikely, as whilst I head cannon that Havers died, he was heading out for the North Africa campaign, and that ended in ‘43, and the Captain lived at least through August of ‘45. Could he have headed up through Italy into Austria afterwards? Possibly, but I’ve got nothing to point to saying he did and am therefore unwilling to commit to it. I personally reckon Havers’ dying in ‘42 or ‘43 and the Captain spending the last two years of the war being sad over it. But that doesn’t rule out a heart attack. The Captain is not the soundest physical specimen. He’s 46. He has bad knees. He mentions a hernia to Allison in s2e5. He runs every morning, but presuming he’s running a 500m loop (which is what I’d guess-timate) he’s not very fast. I wouldn’t rule out a faulty ticker. And from a narrative standpoint, whilst it isn’t the most satisfying, it works: just imagine his frustration at having lived through WWII, never saw any action, and then dying at the end of it the most mundane death imaginable. This would leave no marks, and thus be consistent with his ghost appearance.  

Option 2: a fall. I find this one lacking in narrative potential, and therefore don’t favor it, but it’s entirely possible that he tripped and fell down the stairs and broke his neck and died so suddenly that he didn’t realize it and thus it didn’t affect his ghost appearance. The only thing that makes this one enjoyable is that he’d probably find that even more frustrating than a heart attack.  

Option 3: one I enjoy because I appreciate it when irony is cruel. Just after the war ends, command finally, finally gets around to issuing him the pistol he’s been pining over the entire war. Just in time for him to have no one to use it on. But he’s never handled this model before, doesn’t know it’s ins and outs, and whilst lovingly inspecting it, he accidentally shoots himself somewhere instantly fatal, heart or head, your choice. Again, he’d be dead before he realized what happened, and thus it would not appear on his ghost. 

Option 4: shrapnel. It’s my favorite alternate option (well, besides maybe option 3, but option 3 depends on him being a bit more of a doofus than usual) because it comes in choose your own adventure format, in terms of where the shrapnel came from. 

          Sub-Option 1: pure accident. These things happen. Cap’s unit from what we can tell so far works on experimental explosives. Something could go wrong. He’s standing near whatever kaboomy-device they’re working on after the limpet mine, it goes off when it isn’t supposed to, he takes a load of shrapnel to the torso. 

          Sub-Option 2: mild incompetence. Assume Havers is the brains of there operation (well, he probably was, but to a greater degree than has previously been assumed). Operation William went well because Havers was around to deal with the more trying aspects of it. This time Havers is in North Africa, however, Cap mishandles the latest kaboomy-device and it goes off, and he takes a load of shrapnel to the torso. If you want to link his death to Havers leaving, this is the option to choose, just assume Havers was always the one to do safety checks. 

           Sub-Option 3: sabotage. He doesn’t appear to be well liked by the men under his command. I don’t know how big the concept of ‘fragging’ was in WWII, in the UK, or in the rear, but in the modern US army, it gets frequent discussion, if not necessarily implementation. ‘Fragging,’ for those who don’t know, is the idea of killing a person in your own unit, usually an NCO or officer, who is either incompetent or an asshole, for your own satisfaction and/or the good of your unit, by tossing a fragmentation grenade at them in battle and then blaming it on the enemy. Obviously, no one was going to get away with throwing a grenade at the Captain in Button House, but it’s not outside of the realm of possibility that someone would intentionally sabotage whatever they worked on after the limpet mine, so that it would go off ‘accidentally’ when the Captain was near in order to get rid of him. But they don’t get rid of him, he just takes a load of shrapnel to the torso. 

          Sub-Option 4: we could be kind to him and say he did get a moment of action when he was on his brief stint in France/Germany/Belgium/the Netherlands (wherever he picked up the France and Germany Campaign Star anyway). This could be in whatever way suits your imagination best: infantry attack with a tossed grenade, or a bomb dropped by a plane, or enemy artillery bombardment. Either way, he takes a load of shrapnel to the torso. I think if the Captain had to pick a death for himself out of all of these options, it would be this one. I also think, though, that if he died of an old war wound, he’d never shut up about it.

Whichever sub-option you choose, he would have survived the initial explosion, had the bulk of the shrapnel removed, and then recovered, before being returned to Button House. But of course, as frequently happened, not all of the shrapnel could be removed, some of it couldn’t be reached, and shortly after the war ended, some sharp bit shifted inside him to pierce his heart or a major artery or what have you, and he rapidly bled out internally. Assume all of the scarring from the initial blast is under his clothes and that also leaves him with a ghost with no obvious cause of death on his body. There’s absolutely nothing to say this happened, of course, but there’s absolutely nothing to say that it didn’t, either, except maybe the flipped ribbons, which I could only make fit into my actual choice of cause of death.

Stay tuned for that in part seven of my character analysis. Probably tomorrow.  

[mageofholyandraste]

OC interview: Valeria Travelyan

Thank you @oxygenforthewicked for the tag & the chance to gush about my girl <3

INTRODUCTION

1. Can you introduce yourself? 

- Though it should be rather obvious by now, I’m Valeria Hamdell Travelyan, though my mother doesn’t deserve the honour of her last name being included in mine, Inquisitor of the Reformed Inquisition and Herald of our Lady Redeemer.

2. What is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

- I’m a woman attracted solely to men. Not that that was something viable in the Circle sometimes, but it’s what it is. And as for the relationship, how did that gossip page put it? (her brow furrows in amusement as she tries to remember.) Skyhold’s favourite Qunari mercenary isn’t romanci-bull by you.

3. Where and when were you born?

- Ostwick, 9:15 Dragon.

4. What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

- I won’t even answer that.

5. Lastly, are you happy? 

- Yes. Maker be praised, at long last, yes.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

1. What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

- As far as I’m concerned, for most of them, especially mother dearest and my Templar brother, I spawned from the Fade just to torture their good family name.

2. Have you ever ran away from home?

- Home is an abstract term for me. I have run away from where people thought my home should be, though.

3. Would you consider marriage or having children?

- Seeing as I’m organising my own wedding, yes, I would consider marriage. Children, though... Imagine how loathed a half-Qunari potentially mage child would be. (she reaches for a goblet of wine with the lacking arm, only to pull back and frown slightly.) I don’t know.

4. Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

- A question back: why is this question here? Of course not.

5. Which friend knows everything about you?

- Leliana. I’m fairly certain she knows when I’ll take my next breath.

ASKED BY FANS

1. Are you literate? Have you been to school? 

- I’ve spent 17 years of my life in the Circle. I’ll shit on it till I’m dead, but it’s at least given me a very good education. A deadly one too, if required. My handwriting may be a little ugly since losing an arm, but I can read and write.

2. The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

- That the Maker isn’t done with us yet. With me. And He wasn’t.

3. What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

- A lot of things I don’t quite care to disclose. Being caged in a Circle doesn’t quite lend itself to learning a lot about the outside world. (her voice sounds rough and lightly annoyed. at you, circle or herself, you don’t know.)

4. Do you have mental health or physical issues?

- Obviously. (it takes her a while to answer, but you can feel the unwilling honesty in it.)

5. What is your current main goal?

- Find Solas and redeem him. Persuade him. I don’t know. I don’t want just a few more years in peace.

CHOICES

1. Drink or food?

- Both? In combination?

2. Cats or dogs?  

- Neither. I don’t really like animals. Only from a distance.

3. Optimist or pessimist?

- More optimistic, I’d say.

4. Sassy or sarcastic?

- Depends on what I’m feeling like at the moment, but generally, I’m not passive-aggressive. I’m simply aggressive.

HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been caught sneaking out?  

- If I had, I’d have lash marks on my back or a Tranquil mark on my forehead. But I didn’t like the risk chances of sneaking out in the Circle after a certain incident.

2. Broken a bone?

- Unfortunately. Not everything I come in contact with is friendly.

3. Received flowers?

- I don’t think so? I don’t even know what someone would give me if they’re giving flowers. That’s an idea. Bull is good at figuring out those things. Ask him.

4. Ghosted someone?

- If there’s a will, there’s a way. Letters can take months to arrive sometimes, but that’s not exactly ghosting.

5. Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

- If you’re not funny, you’re not funny. I don’t get the need most of the time. That being said, you sometimes have to pretend to laugh at apprentice jokes. Most of them are children who don’t really deserve to not be acknowledged like that, especially as world at large will do that.

Tags:

@taliisplaying

@thatssolavellan

@ammocharis

@notebooks-and-laptops

@cetra

and anyone else interested :)

[blue-lions-baby]

Operation Confession (Dimitri x F!Reader) [Ch. 3] [FINALE]

hi!! well, this is it. the final chapter of operation confession. to be very honest, with everything going on it was quite difficult to write this, but i hope the quality is still relatively the same as my previous chapters! i had so much fun writing this series, and i hope reading it was just as entertaining! thank you so much for sticking with it-- it means the absolute world to me :)

this will prob be my last post for a bit before i head off to college; please rest assured i do not plan to leave this blog or this wonderful community anytime soon! thank you for being patient with me as i adjust to this very new chapter of my life!!

without further ado, please enjoy ch. 3!

~*~

“Hey, false alarm!” Sylvain traipsed back in, hands behind his head. “(F/N) and Felix are actually gonna freshen up a bit before heading to dinner.”

Groans and angry huffs spilled out of the frazzled Lions; the menacing stares that the redhead bore made him squeak, and he cleared his throat.

“Hey, look, I’m sorry! They ran into us while His Highness was changing--”

“While he was changing?” Dedue and Ingrid looked like they were about to have a stroke.

“I-It’s a long and,” Sylvain looked at The Hand, “painful story, but what’s important is that they didn’t see him! All thanks to Yours Truly.”

“You were a blubbering idiot. The only reason why (F/N) didn’t bother questioning you further was because she was too tired to care.” Felix joined in, the permanent scowl on his features deepening.

“Felix!” Sylvain’s countenance lit up joyfully before hazing into confusion. “Wait, I thought you were gonna freshen up before heading to dinner.”

“I don’t need to. Hardly broke a sweat during training.”

“W-What?! How?!”

“I guess you wouldn’t understand, seeing as how your only form of exercise is chasing after anything that wears a skirt.”

Sylvain’s eyes took on a glossy, hollow quality as the Lions hollered in laughter.

“Uh... So Sylvain, where’s His Highness?” Asked Annette, having expected him to walk in.

“Oh, he ran back to his quarters to put his clothes away. He should be coming back any minute now.”

♠ ♥ ♣ ----------------------------------------------------------- ♣ ♥ ♠

After neatly hanging his uniform in his closet and giving himself a quick once-over in the mirror, he gave himself one last pep talk before swinging the door open and--

Seeing the side of your head as you idly engaged in conversation with a fellow student.

Oh Sothis, help him.

As quickly (and loudly) as he opened the door, he closed it and promptly went back inside to scream into his pillow. Where in the world did you even come from? Weren’t you supposed to be ‘freshening up?’ Your quarters weren’t even down this hallway; what in the Goddess’s name were you even doing here?

He pressed his ear further into the door, straining to pick up bits and pieces of your conversation in hopes to inform himself on your sudden visitation. Nothing. All he could hear was muffled banter bouncing between either of you-- muffled banter that didn’t sound like it was going to end any time soon. He screamed curses in his head and awkwardly slid down onto the floor, lightly banging his cranium against the solid wooden door.

He desperately wished for someone, anyone to save him.

He sighed while rubbing his temples-- a desperate attempt to quell the arising headache. Dimitri combed through his options, each less viable than the last. After eliminating any and all half-baked ideas of escape, he was face-to-face with the one option he didn’t want to consider.

Sit here and wait until you left.

So Dimitri sat (more like paced) in his room, occasionally pressing his ear against the door in hopes that he didn’t hear your lighthearted banter outside. Why was it the one time he didn’t want to run into you, there you were! Right outside his door. You might as well have come with a giant bow on your head!

The floor beneath him rumbled slightly, pulling him from his thoughts; the even pacing grew stronger and stronger until it stopped just a little ways past his door.

“(F/N).”

Wait... That’s... It’s unmistakable! That has to be--!

“Dedue! Hello!”

“I apologize for the interruption, but I have come to remind you that it is your turn to tend to the greenhouse today.”

A short pause ensued, followed by an audible gasp.

“Wait, yes! You’re right! I’ve completely forgotten, thank you so much for reminding me!”

Dimitri heard muffled apologies and goodbyes sputter out of your lips, followed by light footsteps scurrying away. Your former companion proceeded to engage in very light talk with the Duscur man before quickly excusing themselves from the scene; Dedue, glancing down the hall to ensure that no one else was nearby, approached and gently rapped his lord’s door with calloused knuckles.

“Your Highness, you may come out now.”

The inner mechanisms of the door clicked softly, the hesitancy of the room’s occupant translating directly through the brass knob.

“Oh, thank the Goddess you came, Dedue. Frankly, I had given up any hope of escape.” Dimitri rubbed the back of his neck tiredly.

“I knew something was wrong when you did not return. I am glad that I came.” Dedue gave a curt bow.

“Thank you Dedue. Come. Let us head to the dining hall, shall we?”

“Of course, Your Highness. (F/N) should be preoccupied with her greenhouse duties for a time.”

“Yes... Actually, Dedue, how did you know it was (F/N)’s turn to tend to the greenhouse today?”

“Truthfully, Your Highness, I didn’t. It was pure luck she was scheduled today.”

“You mean--” Dimitri’s eyes widened.

“Yes. That was just a fluke. I have no knowledge of the schedule, other than the times either you or I are assigned.”

“Hah!” Dimitri’s hand landed on his retainer’s shoulder. “What luck! After hearing that, I can not help but feel a bit more confident about tonight.”

“And why is that, Your Highness?”

“If fate is as real as the ground beneath us, I would say that, perhaps, (F/N) and I are truly meant to be together.”

“That is quite a romantic notion, Your Highness.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Dimitri sighed as they crossed the threshold to the outside. The sun was just starting its descent past the hills; the slowly extinguishing rays of light brushed the sky with vibrant hues of vermilion and marigold.

“Despite that, I can not help but feel... hopeful. And... happy.”

“I am glad that this whole experience has collectively been a pleasant one, Your Highness.” Dedue responded as they neared the dining hall. “You deserve to be happy.”

Dedue’s words echoed in Dimitri’s head, ringing alongside Sylvain’s previous sentiment. Guilt wrung his heart until the familiar pangs of remorse pounded in his chest.

“Do I... Do I really deserve such a thing?”

“Without a doubt, Your Highness.”

“Even after everything that I’ve done... Even after... everything... I still... deserve it?”

“Of course, Your Highness. You deserve to be happy, just like everybody else.”

As the duo ascended the stairs and approached the Lions that were all congregated together for Dimitri’s cause, the prince’s features relaxed and-- just for a moment-- the voices that incessantly plagued his thoughts ceased.

“Thank you, Dedue.”

“I am always happy to help, Your Highness.” Like his prince, Dedue’s rough exterior melted away to reveal a warm, genuine smile.

“Hey, there you are!” Sylvain bounded up to them, meeting them halfway across the platform. “We were gettin’ worried about you! What happened?”

After Dimitri and Dedue explained what transpired, Sylvain couldn’t help but laugh at the terrible wonderful luck that Dimitri possessed.

"Dedue really got you out of a tough spot, huh?”

“As he always does.” Dimitri cast a grateful look at his retainer.

“I was shocked when I learned that (F/N) was actually scheduled today.”

“What were you gonna do if she wasn’t?” Sylvain queried.

Dedue paused thoughtfully.

“Perhaps I could have asked her to help me weed the courtyard, or to tend the horses.”

“Fair enough.” Sylvain nodded. “Well, it’s getting late so people are starting to leave the dining hall. Hopefully by the time (F/N) is done tending the plants, you two will be all alone.”

Sylvain wriggled his eyebrows and peered cheekily at the reddening face of the prince.

“Please do not be so nervous, Your Highness. (F/N) will surely appreciate all the effort you had put in.”

“Yeah!” Sylvain propped an arm on Dimitri’s shoulder. “Remember what I told you, Your Highness? You’re the leader of the Blue Lions! Start actin’ like your namesake! You gotta be bold!”

“R-Right. Bold.” Truthfully, Dimitri looked anything but; however, this only prompted a deluge of much-needed encouragement and hype that the two happily supplied-- Sylvain taking a more... fiery approach to his psyching while Dedue slightly doused the ecstatic flames set by the redhead with more grounded assurances.

“Now remember, Your Highness. Look her in the eyes, smile, and tell her that she’s beautiful. Like this!” Sylvain turned to Dedue, who suddenly became an unwilling participant in the playboy’s example.

“Hey, babe. You look gorgeous tonight. I gotta admit, I’m no mathematician, but I can still see you’re a ten outta ten.”

“Please get away from me ... Thank you, Sylvain.”

Dimitri stared at the duo with a confused fixed smile plastered on his face. The gears in his head took their sweet, sweet time to churn and process the cursed pick-up line, but it eventually clicked.

“Hah! I get it now! That’s a great one, Sylvain. I’ll definitely remember that.”

A flush of pride stained Sylvain’s cheeks and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Thanks! Oh, here’s another one. This one’s also super popular with the ladies.”

Sylvain cleared his throat and turned to Dedue, who was quietly trying to shuffle away.

“Hey, hun. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

“If that is the case, perhaps it would be in your best interest to stop looking at me.” Dedue lightly glared. Dimitri’s eyes crinkled gleefully.

“Ah, these are all wonderful! I look forward to using them on (F/N).”

“Great! But remember Your Highness-- too much of a good thing is a bad thing. You can’t just spout a couple lines like that and expect her to fall for you instantly. You gotta do it tastefully.”

“Tastefully... Got it.”

Dimitri nodded his head, soaking and digesting this newfound knowledge. His eyes suddenly shot up, excitement bubbling out of its watery depths.

“Oh! It appears that I have come up with something!”

“Go for it, Your Highness!”

“I’ve got no taste, but I’d still like a bite of you.”

. . .

. . .

. . .

“Sylvain?”

. . .

. . .

“Dedue?”

. . .

“... Perhaps the map one wasn’t so terrible after all.”

“You said it, Dedue.”

“Wha--! Surely it wasn’t that atrocious, was it?”

“I believe it would serve His Highness well if you taught him more pick-up lines, Sylvain.”

“Sure. Whatever it takes to keep him from saying stuff like that.”

“H-Hey!!!”

♠ ♥ ♣ ----------------------------------------------------------- ♣ ♥ ♠

After sprinkling the few remaining drops of water onto a patch of slightly wilting plants, you dropped the empty watering can with a clatter and threw your arms high above your head, stretching all the bundles and ties that knotted in your shoulders. Your stomach gurgled and a pulse of hunger radiated throughout your core. Perhaps it wasn’t the brightest idea to completely skip your meals.

You placed the watering can in the shed and, making sure everything was as orderly as it could be, stalked out of the greenhouse while still massaging the few stubborn knots that remained tied in your muscles. The sun had long disappeared below the horizon; whatever light remained served only as a prelude to the beginnings of a starry night.

A nippy breeze nibbled your exposed skin, contrasting the slightly humid atmosphere that you’ve grown accustomed to in the greenhouse. Teeth chattering and tummy churning, you hastened your feet to move faster to the brightly lit dining hall.

As you approached the door, you were pleasantly surprised to see that the hall was practically empty, save for some guards and faculty sneaking in a nightly snack-- but even they didn’t linger for long. As you were racking your brain for ideas on what to eat, you walked into the warm building; the ambrosial aroma of succulent, roasted duck caught your attention immediately.

To say that you didn’t shed a small tear from the experience would be a lie.

You scouted and scoured the kitchen for the fowl of your dreams, but it eluded you. Where in the world could this duck--

“A-Ahem.”

You had come dangerously close to collapsing from shock.

Your body jumped and slowly turned around to face the owner of the voice.

“Good evening, (F/N). You look as radiant as ever.”

A young man wearing a white suit decorated with small pins and medals stood before you. Gloved, quivering fingers delicately brushed the lone strands of hair that slipped onto his forehead to the side.

“D-Dimitri...? Is that you?”

“Ah y-yes, it is I. Please forgive me if I had surprised you.”

“N-Not at all!” You replied, your cognitive processes hiccuping at the sight of this magnificent angel. The light from the torch gently surrounded the prince with an almost ethereal quality, rendering him simply divine. The corner of his lips turned up slightly, pulling his handsome features into a half-smirk.

“Please, allow me to escort you to our table.”

“O-Okay...”

He took a step towards you and his eyes flickered down; you followed his gaze and saw his slightly shaking hand slowly reaching for yours.

“May I...?”

Whether it was a simple case of the jitters or the excitement bubbling from within, it didn’t matter much as you enthusiastically clasped your hand in his. Dimitri froze in place, every muscle in his being stiffening at that small point of contact. However, he managed to get his racing pulse (somewhat) under control-- just enough to pull you into a stiff walk at least.

“Please follow me, (F/N).”

The pounding in Dimitri’s heart found its way into his ears, drumming and thundering an aggressive beat. He never knew that fear and glee could intertwine so readily with one another-- until he felt your hand gently press into his palm. Worries and questions and warmth spurred his thoughts into a hazy flurry of emotion. Was he squeezing too hard? Was he holding your hand correctly? Were you at all uncomfortable? Oh Goddess, you look so beautiful when you smile like that--

“Ah! Dimitri, what is all this?”

“W-Well,” Dimitri swallowed what felt like a boulder, “it is our dinner.”

“Our... Dinner...?”

“Yes. Um...” His locked fingers reluctantly separated from yours. “We have prepared a roasted duck, a fine, savory pastry called ‘garlic bread,’ a simple salad, and baked sweets made by Mercedes. I pray this is enough to whet your appetite.”

“You whet my appetite Everything looks so good...” You swallowed thickly, eyes resting heavily on the succulent fowl. “Heh, well... I actually didn’t eat at all today, so--”

“I beg your pardon?!” You blinked and immediately found yourself sitting in front of the palatable entrees. Dimitri’s countenance-- full of concern and tinged with anger-- stared at you from across the sea of food.

“You mustn’t skip meals. That is terribly unhealthy for you.”

“You’re one to talk, Dimitri!” You laughed. “You skip meals all the time!”

Dimitri’s visage fell and his entire face took on all shades of red.

“I... admit, I am not one to berate you on this matter, but regardless, I ask that you still heed my warnings... You should never skip meals.”

Giggling to yourself, you rested your chin on folded hands and your head tilted slightly. That, combined with your killer smile and rosy cheeks, introduced Dimitri’s palpitating heart to a livelier pace.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll do my best not to skip meals.”

“Urgh-- Yes! Please... don’t.”

Your lips curved into a smile and your eyes lustily darted to the food in front of you.

“Well, let’s dig in, shall we?”

You, of course, immediately reached for the duck-- as did Dimitri.

Your hands collided en route to the silver cutlery by the fowl, and a fountain of apologies spewed out of either of you. Dimitri, somehow managing to awkwardly bounce back from the innocent error, cleared his throat and took this opportunity to impress you with his... gentlemanly charms.

“Please excuse me, (F/N). Allow me to cut a slice for you.”

“Oh! Well, um... sure?”

Dimitri’s fingers rounded the shiny handles of the knife and fork before cutting into the tender meat. Delectable smells spilled forth from the bird, eliciting a growl from your stomach-- a... very, very loud growl. A growl that was loud enough for Dimitri to stop and look up.

“Uh... I’d like to apologize...” You mumbled ashamedly, your cheeks growing hot to the touch.

Dimitri chuckled, slipping a thick slice of duck onto your plate along with a small bushel of salad, a few pieces of garlic bread, and some sweets.

“Do not worry, my Beloved. I know you haven’t eaten all day.”

You smiled, graciously accepting your plate filled to the brim with food. You cut the slice of meat into more manageab--

Wait...

‘Beloved?’

It seemed that Dimitri realized his mistake around the same time you did.

“Dimitri--”

“Er, (F/N)! Aside from this morning, how was your day?”

“Huh? I-I mean it was fine, but Dimitri--”

“Ah, splendid! I am glad your day had gotten better. I was really worried when you suddenly left class like that.”

“Dimitri,” you cut in, “did you just call me... your... ‘Beloved?’“

Dimitri simply sat there as his brain was fried and shriveled into a crisp.

“W-Well, uh, I-- You see-- I deeply apologize for-- That was, very inappropriate of me--”

“Oh! No, no, it’s okay... Um, I was just a bit surprised is all.” You brought your cup to your lips in a pathetic attempt to cover the bashful grin that threatened to escape.

“Ah... Of course...” Dimitri stabbed a small tomato with the prongs of his fork and shoveled it into his mouth, his cheeks seeming to absorb the color of the little red berry.

You cleared your throat and thumbed the surface of a macaron with light fingers, a heavy silence blanketing the table. The quietly screaming royal took a bite of some garlic bread, his brain hardly processing the soft, fluffy texture of the dish.

Dimitri’s eyes widened inconspicuously, his mind flashing to the one thing that could save this dumpster fire of a date from certain demise--

His pick-up lines.

He could only pray that you were a fan of such things.

He cleared his throat and borderline slammed his fists onto the table, rocking a handful of mini cupcakes from their tiered seats. You quite literally jumped in your seat and got caught in the fierce stare of your house leader.

He can do this.

Come on, Dimitri! Remember your training with Sylvain!

He can do this.

Be a lion! Be bold!

He can do this!

“A-Are you ten? Because y-you look lost and I’d like to bite you.”

. . .

. . .

. . .

If-- in that moment-- Dimitri were to suddenly be thrown onto the path of a charging chariot, he would make no effort to move.

Simultaneously, you were well on your way to combusting into open flames-- if your swiftly coloring cheeks were any indication of that.

Neither of you spoke for a long time, gawking at the other in a silent, unconscious contest to see who could reach strawberry red first.

And Dimitri was the unwilling winner.

“I--”

“You--”

“I am so--”

“What did you--?”

“I am so, so sorry--”

“You want to bite me--?”

“Oh Goddess, I am so sorry (F/N)-- I can explain--”

“U-Um, perhaps it would be best for me to go...”

“Wait!” Dimitri shot out of his seat with a clatter. “I-- um--”

“Goodnight, Dimitri.”

You made a mad dash for the door, leaving the flustering royal a metaphoric fish out of water.

“(F/N)!”

He tailed after you, the delicious food that he and all the other Lions labored to prepare becoming a distant memory.

The sun and any trace of it had all but vanished from sight, replaced by its nightly counterpart. You were speed walking to the stairs when your wrist was snagged by a firm grip.

"(F/N)...!”

“Dimitri, listen, I really appreciate the food and everything, but I really should get going now--”

“Wait, please! I...” He gulped, finally throwing caution to the wind. “I love you.”

Your heart had stopped beating altogether and your lungs ceased operations. Your clenched jaw prohibited you from speaking, and you simply stared at him as those three simple words resonated in your mind.

“Er, that is to say...” He sighed, resignation taking hold of his features. “Can we... talk about this please?”

He loosely pointed to a nearby bench shaded under a tall tree. His hard grip softened, moving to interlace his fingers with yours as he led the two of you to the secluded spot. He sat with a deep exhale and pulled you beside him.

“(F/N).” He gazed at you steadily, his fingers rubbing shallow circles into your hands. “It is no exaggeration on my end to say that you mean everything to me. I-- along with the other Lions-- labored to make tonight the best it could be. Though truthfully, I never imagined my confession would turn out like this. But alas...”

Dimitri chuckled tiredly then sighed.

“I’m afraid I can’t hide my feelings for you a moment longer. I love you, (F/N). With all of my being. You motivate me to work harder, train harder-- to be a better man. You are so kind, and smart, and... absolutely mesmerizing. I can not keep my eyes off you, really.”

He laughed at your sheepish response then continued.

“You mean the world to me. So... I humbly ask that you... Um...” He cleared his throat and lowered his voice to a husky whisper. “Be mine.”

A gentle breeze swept through, carrying his small plea along with it. He stared at you, intensely and unblinkingly, with bated breath.

“Although,” he added, pain thinly veiled in his eyes, “if you do not feel the same way, I understand. I promise I will not hold anything against you. If it’s not too much trouble, I... I hope we can still be friends after all this--”

You dove straight into Dimitri’s arms, effectively knocking his words and the air right out of him. You felt his muscles tighten and the thumping in his chest blared loudly in your ears. You nuzzled your face into him and looked up, smiling.

“I love you too, Dima!”

D-Dima...?!

Poor Dimitri looked like he was about to choke. The little streams of moonlight that slipped through the holes in the trees reflected off of the prince’s reddening face; for a long time, all he could do was stare at you-- cheeks darkening and eyes widening.

Finally, the Goddess re-granted him the ability to speak.

“R-Really...?”

“Yes! Yes, I do!” Your arms moved from his torso to snake around his neck, pulling him a bit more to your level. “I love you, Dimitri. I’ve loved you for so long...”

You drew him into a hug again, burying your face in the crook of his neck. The crisp, sharp scent of his cologne flooded your senses, sending pleasant tingles and goosebumps throughout your body. You felt the prince’s arms wound around your frame, pulling you closer to his racing heart.

“If this is a dream, I wish to never wake.” He muttered into your hair, thankful that he could appreciate the light apple notes that came from it to the fullest.

“This isn’t a dream, Dimitri.” You whispered against his skin, causing a sweet shiver to run down his spine. “I love you, Dimitri. I love you so, so much...”

“My (F/N)... My Beloved...” He pulled away from you slightly, cupping your cheeks in his hands and brushing it gently. He could hardly contain all the love and pure adoration he held towards you; the way that you and only you reflected in his beautiful eyes showed that. With a gentle smile he pressed his forehead against yours, relishing the moment.

“May I... May I have the honor of kissing you, my love?”

His hot breath tickled your sensitive skin and you couldn’t help but laugh at the sensation, in addition to his endearingly adorable politeness.

“Yes, you may.”

Dimitri’s eyes flickered to your slightly parted, wet lips and leaned closer, his eyes fluttering shut. You followed suit, guided only by the synchronous beating of your hearts. A warmth like no other blossomed upon your lips, melting any and all tension into nothingness. Your lips engaged in a clumsy yet heartfelt dance, eliciting an airy chortle out of you.

Dimitri’s chest rumbled with a chuckle of his own and he parted to catch his breath. Not a moment later, his lips found yours again and again, more ravenous than the last. Each kiss left your head spinning faster and your heart wanting more, more, more. His teeth nibbled your bottom lip, drawing out a gasp from you; his fingers found residence in your hair as he slipped his hot tongue into your mouth. He explored your wet cavern excitedly, every one of his senses wracked with newfound pleasure. Your moans and sharp breaths intertwined heatedly, sending your thoughts into a frenzy and numbing oblivion all at once.

The chatter of guards and metal boots clanking against cobble spurred warning bells in your head, and a painful reminder of how exposed you were for any curious passerby. Dimitri reluctantly leaned away, still pressing his lips to yours until the last possible moment.

“Ahem... M-My apologies... I got a little too excited just now...” Dimitri panted, a dazed yet elated expression on his face. You, panting as hard as he, shook your head in response and pressed a chaste kiss on his forehead, down to his nose, his cheek, and finally stopping at his flushed, pink lips.

“Not a problem, Dimitri. I know you mentioned you wanted to bite me.” You gazed at him teasingly.

“T-That’s...” Dimitri sighed, burying his face in your neck to hide his blush (though how hot his skin felt against yours was all the confirmation you needed). “Please don’t tell anyone what I said...”

You snickered and patted his head, smiling when you felt him relax into your touch.

“Okaaay, I promise.”

“Good. Thank you, (F/N).”

He pulled away from your neck and adjusted himself into a more comfortable seating position. He securely placed his arm around your shoulder and you both sat in comfortable silence for a long time.

“It’s getting quite late, no?” Dimitri mumbled out of the blue. “Allow me to walk you back to your room.”

“Actually, Dima... Do you think we can go back and finish dinner? I’m still really hungry...”

“O-Oh! I have completely forgotten about that! Yes, of course we can. Although... Regrettably, our food would have gotten cold by now.”

“That’s okay. Being with you warms my heart anyways.”

“Ah-- Um--” Dimitri coughed, looking away. “I confess that your teasing will take some getting used to... But it is a pleasant thing nonetheless.”

You giggled as he stood up and helped you to your feet.

”Hey, Dimitri?”

“Yes, my Beloved?”

“I love you.”

Dimitri planted a soft kiss on your forehead and stared fondly into your eyes.

”I love you too, (F/N).”

bonus: despite swearing to himself that he would *never* use pick-up lines ever again (its powers being too great for any mortal to fully wield), dimitri would still indulge a line or two for you if you asked him hard enough (and swore on your life you would never divulge what he shared with you to anyone else). and yes, when you two eventually got more comfortable with each other, he did get a bite of you from time-to-time but that’s a story for another day.

[laineybug04]

If you're comfortable sharing your thoughts on Shadow's current portrayal according to Sega Mandates(tm), I'd be interested to hear it. If I were to try and rationalize it on my own, the best I can come up with is that Shadow's not in a good place right now mentally and is lashing out because of some inner turmoil he's refusing to share.

I am very comfortable sharing! >:D I hope y’all are good with reading ‘cause this is gonna be LONG.

I... don’t like it. Mostly based on personal preference and nostalgia glasses. I will say I have my own theories about what’s going on with him.

1. He’s going through things, like you said.

I can see where this is coming from and from a retelling stand point- I think we all know about Shadow’s past. We all know what he’s done. But we don’t know what this world’s Shadow has done yet. While Shadow may be unwilling to share, the beauty about a visual medium is that we should be able to see what’s going on despite his wants on the matter. Nothing has been forthcoming thus far, and while I understand this is Sonic’s comic, I think we all wanna know what the heck is going on with Shadow.

2. All rivals must be Vegeta.

Speaks for itself. Vegeta is a great favorite amongst fans (including myself) and went through a HUGE boost in popularity after the events of Dragon Ball Super. My problem with this theory is I feel that Vegeta got more popular... because he was allowed to be softer and got to lose some of his high and mightiness without going full OOC. Shadow hasn’t been allowed ANY of the same freedom, so this is less of a viable theory in my mind. What brings it to mind in the first place is that Knuckles was once Sonic’s rival as well. Now that he’s more his buddy and a signature part of Team Sonic, Sonic needs a more prominent/serious rival. Someone who isn’t going to just join the main gang and always be his own separate thing. Keeping him as a Vegeta type makes it so it’s much more marketable when he does get to team up with the rest of the team.

Which... hasn’t gone well in IDW world considering every time he’s gotten involved he’s just managed to make things a little bit worse.

3. They want to kill off ShadAmy for good.

Or rather less specifically ALL of Shadow’s ships. And everyone else’s. This is less of a theory and more of a whine. We haven’t seen him have ANY positive interactions with ANYONE in this comic series so far. Yes, he gave into Sonic in issue 6 over Mr. Tinker, but I hardly call that positive. He’s seen TRAVELING with Rouge, but again, nothing specifically positive. I get not wanting to encourage romance, I mean, the fandom can be fairly divisive at the best of times, imagine them trying to ship tease. They HAVE to be seeing what’s going on with the Avatar Fandom recently, good GOD.

And being a loner character isn’t so bad, I mean, look at Knuckles! But when you’ve made it so that he doesn’t look particularly happy or fulfilled even when alone? Like, what’s the point? Why have Shadow in the story if all he’s going to do is mess up and be a stick in the mud all the time? Why is he part of the world if he isn’t allowed to interact with any of it?

And my most prominent theory (please, dear god, let this be the reason)

4. They’re getting to it.

They’re rebooting the series again- which means Shadow as we know him is starting over. I’m HOPING that he’s starting here, and that he will eventually be allowed to grow from his failures- like they’re trying to Zuko him (or maybe more appropriately “Sokka” him. Sokka was really hard to love in the first few episodes). Right now Shadow’s just a REALLY uninteresting, charmless version of early “planet destroying” Vegeta. He’s just rude and selfish without thought. Like, there’s glimmers of him thinking about other people and the greater good of the world. But it honestly feels like it’s coming from a place of BEING right rather than DOING right. Which- he’s fifteen. People are usually little shits at 15 years old- it’s just a fact of life.

BUT- it’s also been over 30 issues now. We should be seeing SOMETHING new with Shadow. He’s given VERY few concessions to other people and they’ve all been to Sonic. He has zero other connections to people and at this point Sega needs to start coming up with reasons why beyond marketing and “lol edgy”.

He’s a kid, and he’s troubled. I’ll give him that level of understanding. That doesn’t mean I have to like this little shit my baby boy has become. And frankly, until we start getting answers or at least some PROGRESS on his character growth, I will continue to be unhappy about him. I’ll still support IDW as a whole, but I’m gonna be pouty about it.

[atricksterproblem]

I guess I need to say goodbye to a few of you. I don’t want to at all. But it seems like I’ve been forced into a corner and I have no choice. I’ll put this under a read-more for people who are still successfully avoiding the disc horse/don’t care/etc.

The current mood in the self-ship community is very black and white. The only thing that seems to matter any more is if you’re pro or anti. That’s it. Doesn’t matter if you have a personal stake in the answer. Doesn’t matter if you say yes to some things and no to others. There are no places for nuance, and you are no longer allowed to just stay out of the whole thing, declaring no opinion whatsoever. That’s what I’d been doing before. My F/O is old, just as I am, so I have no personal stake in this debate. I had no desire to participate in it in any way.

It seems that’s no longer a viable option. I gather from posts that people are making on many blogs that I MUST pick a side, and if I pick the right one I am Good and okay to interact with but if I pick the wrong one I am Bad and to be shunned. 

I still don’t want to declare myself for or against anything, really. I want to stay out of it, continue to love my F/O, and be friends with other nice people I’ve met. That’s it. But if I try to do that now with ultimatums being issued, I would be being dishonest to people I care about in ways that they would find unacceptable. I don’t want to do that either. I wouldn’t be any kind of a friend if I stayed under what they would consider false pretenses even if it literally never comes up.

So this is a really long-winded way of saying that I’ve been forced to unfollow some people I really like because they’re unwilling to let me stay out of this. I didn’t exactly have a ton of friends to begin with, and I already miss some of you.

I’m sorry. I can’t ignore my friends when they post something by way of saying “this really really matters to me so don’t interact if you feel this way”, and I can’t change my opinion just because some of the people I like disagree. I don’t want to be dishonest to them, and I can’t be dishonest to myself.

I hope someday there’s room here again for just not getting involved. Until then, I guess I have to say goodbye to some of you. I hope you have good lives and that your F/Os make you happy always.

[kalesandfails]

i like my body/ and it is not your body

My weekend was great, thanks! I ran ten miles each morning, and running is the closest I get to approximating what it feels like to have properly firing neurons. I listened to two loves of my life, Jon Lovett and Stacy Abrams (about whom I will write more another time, but don’t wait for that;  go give her project to resist voter suppression your money here). I read books to the literal piles of humans I have made, dizzy with the sheer acreage of their cheeks. I had a conversation with my autistic preschooler about Ariel — the first proper conversation my daughter has ever initiated with me.

So, I’m doing okay right now, thanks for not asking while I proceed to say some stuff.

I’m saying this not because my voice is the one that needs to be uplifted in a conversation about  either fat-shaming or ectopic pregnancies, but because I went to bed thinking about the distressing common thread between the current weird preoccupation of other seemingly uninvolved parties with the two phenomena. And because, while I think James Cordon, God among men, gets this, and I know that other survivors of miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, and the million other situations in which abortion has been a Godsend — as in, the best option or only tenable option for a specific human being at a specific point in time —I’m just thinking that maybe the people who need to hear it, literally cannot hear it enough, or from enough people, until they have plunked their toned, tailored-suit-wearing man asses into some comfortable seats, ones from which it is somewhat labor-intensive to emerge, and sat a round or two out.

The first is this: you, fat-shamer, and you, pro-lifer who, surprisingly, is willing to “let God decide” if a college student with a fertilized egg threatening to rupture her fallopian tube and kill her should live or not — since the role your God presumably had in supplying the skill and technology to save her life wasn’t a clear enough sign of His will, and despite the fact that God apparently can’t be trusted to supply Her children with appropriate sexual and gender identities — you get a single body and that is your body. And that body, and control of that body, are just going to need to be enough.

Look: there’s no reason to believe that someone who is insulting people over their weight has any strategic goal related to either health or weight loss. To claim otherwise, to walk back your antagonistic bullshit with a sanctimonious “but I’m concerned for [their] health!” : this a is mindbogglingly bad-faith argument. Because the human being you are shaming, or, honestly, any person acquainted with how people feel when you’re shitty to them, will point out that humiliating people and promoting discrimination against them doesn’t effectively motivate them to change their behavior, let alone the physical body they inhabit, and you will say — what, that it should?

At that point, it will become clear that what you, the fat-shamer, want, is for these people to change their bodies in response to your comments about whether or not they can see their penises or get laid or give you an erection; that, basically, what you are doing is doubling down on a system in which if you are a woman, you should feel embarrassed and subhuman if your body is an inadequately hot commodity for the consumption of this unnamed but all-important (male) consumer. (You, right? It’s you to whom we’re trying to make our bodies presentable?)

And if you, the fat-shamed, are a man, your worth is still determined by men, this time the ones who supposedly know how successful you are at getting women to have sex with you based on their opinions of your body, and who have decided that this is the metric by which your worth is established. (Side note: straight guys who know so much about what women want, I’m guessing you don’t want to rethink your premise that your estimation of other guys’ bodies is the one that matters when determining what women find attractive, but it would behoove you to do so. If there were one thing women don’t like (there’s not!), it would be straight guys mansplaining our sexuality to us).

Basically, what fat shaming is about in your sixties (because that is how old Bill Mayer is, friends!) is what fat shaming is about in sixth grade. It’s just one more way that a certain group of people, a group  with relatively more power than others and a deep fear of losing it, maintain that power by saying: I am going to tell you what matters, and I am going to tell you whether or not you have that thing that matters, and I am going to make it so painful for you to not have it that you will remake your body to get me off your back, because it is weirdly important to me to exert this control over you.

My furtive eighth grade crush got fat shamed in middle school, and he was pretty fat. But, you know, so did I, and I’ve never had a medical doctor express concern for my weight. Discouragingly, it barely registered with them when I was losing my hair and hadn’t had a period in a year. But other helpful randos, from grandmas to girls in my gymnastics class, started calling me fat at age four, and the only way I was able to stop them was to self-regulate so effectively that by the time I went to college, I was throwing up when I “lost control” and chewed too many pieces of Juicy Fruit.

That’s the goal of fat-shaming, fat-shamers: someone who has accepted your right to tell them who they are and what their worth so unreservedly that she can graduate Phi Beta Kappa on the one hand, but still believe that she is “too fat to sit down” on her graduation night. And — as one person with a running leitmotif I like to call “pathological need for control” running through my adolescence and early adulthood to another —- can I suggest you slow your roll and take a look in your own goddamn mirror?

I can’t speak to why a person might experience exerting control over the bodies of other people as catharsis, why what they need to self regulate is to make someone else feel worthless. I can only imagine that this bullshit behavior comes from the same sense of existential dread that makes two missed days at the gym feel like that a night in one of those sky cells on Game of Thrones to me. But I can be compassionate towards you and also take a hard pass when it comes to “tolerating” your “opinions” about the value of people around you, or your right to patrol the size of their bodies or to determine that they need to be harassed into having a body you like better. Your feeling about thigh gaps or whatever is your deal, but the fact that you think other people should be treated badly or should endanger their health in an effort to make their bodies acceptable to you is also, 100%, your deal, and not the problem or the responsibility of the people in those bodies. Take your body and do whatever you want with it, but shut the mouth part of it first.  

Similarly: I’m not going to explain to anyone why a fertilized egg in one’s fallopian tube is 1. not a viable pregnancy and 2. not something to “watchfully wait" over. “Watchful waiting” is appropriate when the risks of intervention are significant, or the benefits unclear, or both. In the very few cases in which this might be what a doctor would advise, that decision is made though a cost-benefit analysis with the mother, because the mother is the patient being treated. There is no “child’s life” to consider because, as with any pregnancy, but maybe especially an entirely nonviable one, there is no child yet.

If you are anything but shocked by the idea that someone should be expected to “wait and see” if their medically treatable and potentially fatal medical condition will kill them or not because of how another person, living in another body, feels about the situation, then you don’t give a shit about life. Not the life of that woman, which you are endangering. Not the lives of any existing children she has or partner she has or parents or students or siblings or friends. What you are saying, again, is that you decide what this woman’s life is worth — and your expectation is that she accept that when it comes down to it, your random feelings about her body both define the value of that body and should be factored into the clinical decision making of her medical provider.

As with our fat-shamers above, I’m just wondering where it came from, this idea that you’re entitled to control the bodies of other human beings, and the weirdly aggressive efforts to do so.

Are you ok, Representative? It seems to me you are not.

It doesn’t even matter that an ectopic pregnancy is not viable. Because pro-life arguments are about “preserving life” the way fat-shaming is about “promoting health”: that is to say, they’re not about that at all. It’s about being unwilling to either take responsibility for working out whatever damage you have, or to acknowledge that the way you are choosing to work that damage out is by violently exerting control over the bodies and lives of others.

Forcing a woman to carry a pregnancy she doesn’t want is violent whether that pregnancy is only somewhat likely, as it is in the case of a viable pregnancy carried in a country with the highest material mortality rate in the developed world, or pretty effing likely, as in the case where the pregnancy is lodged in a tube that will not accomodate it. When you legally compel another human being to risk her life carrying a pregnancy in her body because of how you feel, that is violent.

I want to have compassion for you, person who sees no better option than hurting other people to deal with whatever it is life has handed you. I’m something of a poster child for irrational or detractive ways of dealing with the parts of the world I don’t like: see above, where a teenage permutation of me was vomiting gum bile. But I also feel like we don’t serve anyone by looking the other way while they evade the responsibly we all have to handle our own shit.

Certainly you get that, right? If a person’s body size, the pregnancy they carry, their health status, are all issues of personal responsibility, surely you, too, can own up to the fact that you have this thing where, instead of overdoing it at the buffet  — or, I don’t know, getting pregnant in the wrong part of your body?  — you insist that other people’s bodies should be altered to your specifications, and that you should decide if those bodies are fed, or wear shorts, or receive medical care. You can acknowledge that this is a weirder and less palatable approach to managing your dark feelings than is eating too many carbs or whatever it is you think we’re all doing with our insufficiently controlled, overweight, inconveniently fertile bodies. You can set aside that weight-loss tea you’re sipping and consider that maybe, the one who’s “ready for a change” is you.

[ineedrelationshipadvice]

My open-relationship boyfriend hates that I’m fat!

ORIGINAL MESSAGE: 

Me and my bf have been together 5 yrs. We've lived together for 3. Had an open relationship for 2. He loves me and cares for me in every aspect except 1. Our sex life since we moved in has been negligible. Maybe twice a month. Recently I went away for a week and before and after I tried to initiate, I was shut down (but kindly) all while he hooked up with a friend of ours while I was away. I got upset and asked if there was anything I could do ...

If there was anything I could do I would definitely try. Disclaimer: I love my body but I am a curvier woman, the other girls are not. But I've been through a few diets we've done together. As someone who has recovered from disordered eating it's hard to find peace with yourself. He came into the room and asked if we could try intermittent fasting. Context! I looked him in the eyes and said "do I need to" and he slowly nodded yes. ..

I told him to get out and spent the last 3 days crying and upset. We've talked a lot and he is really really sorry. But nothing will take away from the fact that he thought that. I want it to go back to our seemingly perfect relationship but when he tells me I'm perfect and that he made a mistake, I can't believe him.

_______________

REPLY

While I definitely sympathize with your situation, the one thing I have to call you out on here is the ultimatum. Ultimatums are powerful tools: "this or else" statements can be very effective in a lot of situations where you have really run out of options that are available to you. That's why they're best used when you've exhausted all other viable options. When nothing else works, you can present an ultimatum, and that ultimatum is usually designed in such a way where it influences your partner to make a choice.

You, unfortunately, did not do any of that. You pulled this ultimatum fairly early in the process of trying to solve this issue, and the particular wording you delivered to him was basically a lose-lose ultimatum for him. "Do I need to do this?" AKA, if I don't do this, you will not have sex with me. But that's not all that statement meant; it is loaded with so many things. It's loaded with (what I can assume) to be self-doubt about how attractive you are, the state of your current relationship, your past with eating disorders, your current self-confidence, your lack of sexual pleasure with your partner... In that one sentence, you basically had at least five different things being said, all at the same time.

How is he supposed to answer a question like that? "Yes, you need to try this" is tragic, as you no doubt feel, because it could seem to be an indictment on ANY of those statements in the loaded question. Maybe he thinks your ugly (more complicated than that), maybe the thinks this will fix your relationship (doubtful), maybe he dislikes you because of your struggles with eating disorders (definitely not), maybe he's upset because you're not more confident (wrong), maybe he is commentating on your sexual relations of late (sort of - he's stating a preference). Because of how you said that, literally ANY of those answers is valid from your perspective, and any interpretation could happen, even though as said in all those parentheses, there is so much nuance beyond the exact words that were used, that there is basically zero way to know what he meant by saying it. He was just giving a stupid, unscripted reply, when he had no idea how many threads you had him strung by with that sentence.

But what about his alternative answers? If he says "No, you don't need to try a diet," then that means he has no problem with your body, which means the lack of sex is completely unexplained, and you would become upset if he still didn't want to do stuff sexually with you. What if he said, "Maybe it's something we should consider," even if he's being generous, that means all of the same things as yes, and you likely would have been equally as upset as you are right now. Legitimately, what could he have said, in response to your question, that would have been the "right" answer? What answer would you have been perfectly happy and accepting of, where he wouldn't be in trouble for something, or otherwise would have made you mad, sad, or upset?

Furthermore, because of the way you worded your ultimatum: as both a yes or no question (which had no correct answers), not only is he doomed to answer incorrectly and upset you no matter what he said, but he had no method to even prepare for it. Even if he knew you were going to throw a loaded question at him, even if he could have read your mind, how could he possibly reason with you?

This one question you asked him goes so far beyond what was actually said, and the response that upset you. You literally explain, in your message, "I want to go back to our seemingly perfect relationship." Seemingly being the key word there; your relationship had problems, and you just exploded them all simultaneously like a tripwire mine. You also are actively unwilling to accept your partner making a mistake, which frankly, is bordering on just toxic behaviour. Your relationship was never perfect, in the same way that you are perfect, no matter how much he tries to make you feel better by calling you that. Nothing in this world is perfect; everything has flaws. If you are not willing to accept the flaw of his words when he responded to you, like a goddamn adult, then there's little hope moving forward.

The point of all this admonishment is, while you wanted to express yourself here by the question you delivered him, you have done it very poorly. And while I understand your plight, you basically put him in front of a firing line without his ability to work with you; he became the enemy, and you delivered a blow that he couldn't escape from, perfectly made to upset you even more than you've already been. That was unfair. This has been exacerbated because you have now spent the last three days throwing a tantrum that you didn't get the perfect answer to a question that had no right answers. Again, WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY HAVE SAID DIFFERENTLY? If you can think of an honest answer, that he could have said given the context of that conversation, that would be that perfect answer, you should go to him, apologize for giving him a poorly used ultimatum, and tell him both why you're upset and give him the actual answer you were looking for and wanted him to say. And if you can't think of a perfect answer, you should go to him, apologize, and then express the feelings you have shared with me to him, so he knows why you've been so upset these last few days. ________ Either way, what's done is done. He said something stupid and insensitive, it made you break down. Let's just take a deep breath and let the water go under the bridge, and drift off to the vast blue ocean. The water upstream doesn't matter, the water downstream doesn't matter. All that matters is our bridge and the water under it. What do we do?

Firstly, and again, I need to emphasize this: YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT PERFECT. NOTHING IN THIS WORLD IS PERFECT. You're going to have to toss that shit in the river too, and let it go downstream. Because if you keep putting this relationship on a pedestal, you will have no method to actually address the very real and solvable problems on the table. If you are not willing to accept that your relationship doesn't have some flaws that need fixing, then you can go ahead, stop reading, and break up with him now, because your attitude will only cause both of you hurt down the line.

If you can accept that your relationship has flaws, and he can make mistakes, then we need to communicate. What do we need to communicate? You need to sit down with him, and say quite directly, "I'm unhappy with you because you have been dating people who are skinnier than I am, and not giving me the sexual attention I yearn for." This is the core problem driving the entire situation, and that's what needs to be dealt with.

Talk to him. Ask him why you two haven't been having as much sex. No judgement, no getting upset. This is a conversation for only the adults in the room. You're in a five year long relationship that's also open; you've clearly had conversations up until now. Time to have another one. Listen to him, hear his actual opinions, and ask him any questions that you might have about his feelings. Then, ask him if he has any questions about you. Let him ask them, even if they might hurt your feelings. Answer him accordingly. Be honest; no lies or half-truths, because they'll only muddle the water here.

When you've both had your say, and asked your questions, try to find a middle ground. What would make you more sexually attractive? If it's your weight, would you be willing to try more diet and exercise? If there's something else that could spice up your relationship, would you be willing to try that? Conversely, is there any way he would be willing to have sex with you more even though you may not meet all his preferences? Would he be willing to do anything that would help you feel more taken care of and confident? What are those things that you would like him to do, or what ways would you like him to support you? Find a consensus. Once you have it, work toward it; if you cannot find an consensus, then you have a larger problem that you both will need to talk to each other about.

Another issue that is clearly bothering you is jealousy. You're jealous that these other girls in his life are getting more sex than you, his main partner. I don't know the rules of your open relationship. But knowing how most are structured, was that a rule? Was one of the pre-established boundaries of your open relationship that you deserve to have sex more than his other partners? Because if that is not against one of the conditions of your relationship, then he has been doing nothing wrong, and you have no right to be upset. However, this all works as a good time to redefine the conditions of your open relationship; if you need regular sex for the relationship to remain open, then that needs to be made abundantly clear. Furthermore, if you'd rather shut down your openness, because you are too jealous of other people, then you also need to lobby for that. If you guys can't come to a new set of agreements on your current status as an open relationship, then you again may have some deeper problems that will require you both to think of your best interests.

From there, you're going to have to forgive your partner. Again, I know you are very upset by what he said. But my efforts here have been dedicated to showing you that you pulled a trigger improperly, and you caused damage to yourself. You did this. That does not absolve his insensitivity, but it means you have to own up for jumping the gun, and forgive him. If you can get over your immediate upsetness, then these discussions can happen and you can try to move past this moment as maturely as possible.

[sinesalvatorem]

Shoot Your Shot

In biology, there’s a concept of r/K selection. Reproductively, an r-strategy involves an organism trying to produce as many offspring as possible, with low resource investment in each individual descendant. Meanwhile, a K-strategy involves producing few offspring which each receive a large fraction of the parent’s resources to ensure that descendant’s success.

This is of course a spectrum, and the greatest extremes are across biological kingdoms. For example, fungi reproduce via spore dispersal, which is the most extreme version of throwing individual cells into the wind and hoping that some of them live maybe. Meanwhile, while some animals are very r-selected, the most K-selected species in nature are generally animals (eg, whales).

Humans are among the most K-selected things out there. Because of our huge brains, we gestate for nine months. (Compare rats, which gestate for about three weeks, or mushrooms, which just tell individual cells to fuck off and probably die.) Plus, we invest years in raising our children until maturity - and then we delay natural maturity a couple more years to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on them going to college.

Of course, even among humans, there’s a spectrum. As with most species with two fixed sexes (reproductively speaking), males can get away with a more r-like strategy, because in theory they don’t have to invest a ton in offspring. However, with few exceptions, males can’t actually get away with too much of this, because that nine month gestation period puts a hard ceiling on how r-strategy females around them can afford to be. So instead we tend to do pair bonding and families and all the other shit mushrooms would be baffled by. (Except they can’t be, because they don’t have our big expensive brains.)

OK, so this post isn’t really about reproductive biology. It’s about human psychology. Specifically, the fact that the r/K split in how willing one is to engage in [high output | low investment] vs [low output | high investment] can be generalised across way more domains than making babies.

In the biological model, organisms generally lean toward r when the environment is very high-variance. In such a situation, the amount that you invest in individual offspring matters far less than luck (ie, environmental factor’s beyond the parent’s control). Like, fungi can’t really change the concentration of dead logs in the area - the best they can do is hope their spores fall on some.

Likewise, if you are engaged in any pursuit where how well a given attempt goes has more to do with unpredictable conditions than with your own level of investment, r strategies are better. Meanwhile, K is ideal for the reverse. The only problem is, for some reason (I would guess due to some mixture of culture and biology), most people are stuck on K.

Call this perfectionism. Call it fear of failure. Whatever it is, a lot of people are unwilling to act unless they’re confident that any individual attempt will succeed - even when they can make an unbounded number of attempts. They just seem unable to comprehend that failure is low cost - or they’ll come up with a bunch of justifications for why failure actually is high cost. “Oh, but people I’ve never seen before and will never see again might laugh at me!” Excuse me, but what? The fuck?

All my observations seem to indicate that very few people actually shift their strategy between the r and K poles based on the circumstances. r/K becomes a feature of them - not of the optimal environmental strategy. Case in point - women in general tend to be less willing to do things they might fail at, no matter how soft the landing. I see this all around me. My male and female acquaintances are, in general, about equally competent - but the men do while the women practice and practice and practice and are never good “““enough”””.

The reason the world isn’t run by perfectionists is because perfectionists won’t get out of bed. The reason the world is run by men is because (many) men will shoot their shot at anything. Do you think Donald Trump would have run for president if he was only willing to do things he thought he’d succeed at? Are you not going to run for office because you might lose? Well, congratulations - now you know why bullshit floats.

And almost everything is like this! The modern world is made of soft landings. Almost nothing truly hurts you these days. Embarrassment doesn’t mean getting thrown out of the tribe - it means you can just do the same damn thing tomorrow and it’ll probably work. If you think you’re not good enough, you are almost certainly wrong, because few things today have a “good enough” - it’s just whether this time the right person/company/algorithm was impressed. Why are they impressed some times and not others? Honestly, this hardly matters - just keep shooting out spores and eventually they’ll land on wood.

Most people won’t put their art online because they don’t think people will like it. So??? If they don’t then they... Won’t look at it. If they do, you’ve just got both fans and information on what kind of stuff those fans like. I don’t think I’m a particularly great writer - I’ve met tons of people slaving away in obscurity who are clearly better than me. But I wrote my way to America because I wrote where Americans could read it - while my obscure acquaintances don’t let their writing out far enough to get a response.

Likewise, when I go to a concert, I’m generally the first person on the dancefloor. It’s rare that anyone else will visibly move their body until I’ve proven that it’s “safe”. Safe from what - who fucking knows? In reality, nothing. That’s why I don’t hesitate to bust a move. In the minds of everyone else - death, I’m guessing. So, of course, they all dance less expressively than me, in the hopes that no one will notice them. Meanwhile, I’m not an especially skilled dancer - I’ve taken two dance classes in my life - but at the end of the night, all eyes are on me. Of course they are - there was no one else to look at.

It’s hard for me to overemphasise the degree to which every. thing. is. like. this. This particular psychological bug is one of the most frustrating things in the world to me, because sitting over here on this heap of utility it just feels so obvious. Yes, you should ask people out! Yes, you should apply to that job! Yes, you should submit that manuscript! Yes, you should post your sketches on Deviant Art! Yes, you should try antidepressants! Yes, you should stop curtailing your life and start winning! More than half the time, the main obstacle is an unwillingness to lose cheaply.

Any time you’re considering doing something, you should ask yourself what the minimum viable product is. What is the lowest effort version of the thing you want to do that might maybe work? And how easily can you just do that repeatedly until it works? If you haven’t Googled a list of a few dozen companies in your industry and spammed them with your portfolio, why not? Because one might reject you? There are billions of people in this world and millions of companies that have never heard of you. You are not going to run out of options if you’re willing to cast a wide net.

Of course, the psychological bug in question is extremely deep, so I know the vast majority of people reading this will just feel briefly uncomfortable with their life choices before moving on and continuing to shoot themselves in the foot. That’s fine. Luckily, thousands of people read this blog, so hopefully a couple of them will get shaken up enough that they’ll be willing to stop screwing themselves out of success. And a couple people living better lives is as much as I’m aiming for.

In the meantime, I’m going to walk through some business districts in SF today and hand out my resume. Feel free to wish me luck, but I shouldn’t need it. Whether I succeed is just a matter of how much paper I can print on.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Geddon #3 Thoughts

Okey dokey this was actually better than the last few issues of the main book.

 Now look...there are still problems.

Still gaping fundamental problems.

Let us put aside the fact that the Inheritors are awful antagonists.

We still have 3 glaring problems that were present in Spider-Verse yet totally fixable in this event.

a)      The over focus upon Doc Ock, which if anything is WORSE in this event than in the last one

b)      Just like in Spider-Verse waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many characters rendering most everyone generic cartoon variants of Spider-Man as opposed to using the nuances of their personalities and exploring them via interactions. We have RYV Peter and MJ right next to a kid Peter and Uncle Ben Spidey and...nothing. Isn’t seeing Ben or kid Peter react to seeing all grown up Peter and his Spider WIFE more interesting that talking about how we should have one big Spider team? Isn’t seeing RYV Peter react to a living Uncle Ben more compelling than Spider-Ham making a snarky one gag? The closest we get to truly exploiting these types of opportunities is Ben and Otto butting heads and RYV MJ briefly (very briefly) showing a soft spot for Kid Peter. But would that have been that different if it was any other character? It only means something because he’s a kid and she’s a mother.

c)       Why. Has. No. One. Suggested. Fighting. The. Inheritors. With. RADIATION!

*facepalm*

I’m even ashamed of myself for not bringing that point up sooner.

The first Morlun story concludes with the genius tactic by Peter to use radiation to fight Morlun which practically kills him.

In Spider-Verse NOBODY brings this up until conveniently towards the end when they are stranded on a radioactive Earth.

In Spider-Geddon, again, nobody brings this up.

Radiation might not be to the Inheritors what sonics and fire are to symbiote but it has still been a consistently effective weapon against them as far as anyone knows. And in almost all the early Venom and Carnage stories Spider-Man or the other protagonists (and the writers handling them back then) were smart enough to try and exploit that obvious weakness so why do we start up the stupid pills in Inheritor stories?

In Spider-Verse you vaguely had the excuse that really only Peter and maybe Doc Ock would know of that weakness but after that story everyone knew of that weakness and no one is trying to exploit it. I get that you need recruits but if you HAVE a means of beating them then maybe USE it? For fuck’s sake Doc Ock is a specialist in radiology!

This next criticism is a little more debatable I will admit.

In the context of this situation...is it really believable that there would be a roughly equal number of people opposed to killing the Inheritors?

Of course there would be some but there seems to be about as many opposing the idea as supporting it. In fact the book is (superficially) framing both sides as neither wholly right or wrong.

But...is that really the case?

Touchy subject here but...this is a genuine bona fide war for survival. The Inheritors were actively engaging in genocide in their killing spree last time and were trying to achieve an endgame of eradicating all spider totems, willing to murder a baby to do that.

Now you might be saying it’s right and proper for there to be a side opposed to the killing. Because Spider-Man has a no kill rule right?

And that’s true...usually...Because....he has actually taken life a few times. Sometimes deliberately. He’s no Punisher or even Captain America but it’s happened.

In fact in Morlun’s first story Peter very seriously considers for a moment how far he’s willing to go to stop Morlun once he has him at his mercy. He’s spared the decision but it’s really not clear cut what he would’ve done. In fact he outright murders Morlun in their next encounter, granted he was not in control of himself.

Now of course you have got situations like Maximum Carnage wherein Spider-Man has considered but ultimately rejected killing as a viable option, and that was also a sort of war too, one in which you had some nasty characters indeed.

Buuuuuuuut...there are important differences.

First of all Carnage and his gang were very possibly not as physically imposing as the Inheritors. Carnage was their biggest gun and he was stronger than Venom and Spidey combined. But Shriek wasn’t. Demo-Goblin wasn’t. Doppelganger wasn’t. They had their own strengths and weaknesses and none of them were push overs by any means. But it wasn’t like the only hope anyone had of taking them down in a fair fight was with sheer weight of numbers. The Inheritors are essentially a gang of Carnage’s but who can kill and weaken with just a touch.

Carnage specifically also had a more easily exploitable weakness that enabled him to be subdued more easily. Sonics and fire are easier to come by and safer to use than radiation. Remember the Inheritors might be vulnerable to radiation but it’s like how Superman is vulnerable to magic. It’s not their specific Achilles Heel like with kryptonite or sonics/fire, it’s just something beyond the limits of their durability.

Team Carnage was also not as much of a threat. Okay the Inheritors arguably might only target totems instead of civilians in general, but Carnage’s limited technology and means of travel meant he was at worst a citywide threat. The Inheritors are a multiversal threat at least to totems.

Another crucial factor here is that as weird as this might be to say now, Team Carnage had some hope of reform, whereas the Inheritors really don’t. Carnage and his crew were mostly mentally disturbed individuals with homicidal tendencies and super powers. In theory they could maybe be cured of their mental instability or their abilities. This isn’t the case with the Inheritors because they aren’t crazy at all. Mass murderers yes, but not crazy. As cartoonishly evil as they are, fundamentally they do what they do to survive. They kill the totems because they literally eat them, that’s how they are biologically constructed. They were trying to wipe out all spider totems to neutralize future threats to themselves. To hope for them to reform is akin to hoping a lion will turn vegetarian, it’s never going to happen because it’s in their nature to be what they are. They could be nicer, they could be unwilling to kill civilians to reach their goals, maaaaaaaybe they could even be convinced to not try and en masse wipe out all spider totems.

But fundamentally they do what they do because of the food chain and the Spider-Heroes of this story are their menu options.

This goes beyond the morality of taking life, it’s survival plain and simple made clearer cut because the Inheritors are willing to kill those in the way of their snack time.

Finally, and perhaps most crucially, not killing the Inheritors in Spider-Verse was arguably an option because there was a viable means of containing them long term (even though eating radioactive mutant spiders would surely kill them but whatever).

In this story, that option is dead in the water. They haven’t got the means to imprison them the way Team Carnage could be imprisoned and potentially rehabilitated.

So with all this said I find it seriously questionable that the story would even bother framing this as a true blue ‘debate’. Killing them is at least as morally justified as killing Nazis in a fire fight during WWII would’ve been.

I also debate some of the people who’re on Miles’ ‘no kill’ team.

I mean RYV Peter Parker...he did literally kill Venom. And I know RYV #5 by Slott tried to make out he was renewing his no kill vow by not killing the Regent but like...he wasn’t in the wrong really for killing Venom in the first place.

Maybe this is justified on the grounds that they didn’t know of the schism between the two groups and just stuck with whatever group initially recruited them.

In the flipside I find it a little unbelievable that Gamerverse Spidey is so unfazed by Otto’s willingness to kill. From what we’ve seen of his character, I dunno I don’t get that impression of him at all. At least he’d question it and morally wrestle with it to some extent. But he just goes along with it.

In fact that describes his whole character thus far in the main event. After issue #0 (which in hindsight was released when it was because the game was at it’s hottest) his appearance here amounts to being shocked by Leopardon and making a few quips and that’s it. He’s basically here for the same reason Peter was in New Avengers, boost sales via investment in him, so he shows up to do the bare minimum. Although what makes me raise an eyebrow is if his multiverse saving adventure where he met a giant robot will ever be mentioned again. I doubt it will. Also doesn’t it make more sense for him to be on Miles’ team given his history with Miles, his comparatively more similar morality and the fact that there is an MJ on his team? It seems way more full of potential drama if nothing else; but like I said this series isn’t interested in that so much as playing with variant action figures.

Now speaking of Leopardon, unquestionably he and Supaidaman (along with Spider-Ham in fairness) stole the show. The gag scene about leading with the sword was genuinely great especially if you’ve seen shows like the 1970s Japanese Spidey show or Power Rangers/Super Sentai.

Other positives include the art and Ben Reilly not being a jerkoff. Now I’m reading this having NOT read his solo-book that preceded this so maybe he’s out of character and I just don’t know.

Something that is a positive and a negative is the use of Otto and Miles.

Obviously pushing Miles and/or (especially) Otto over Peter would typically piss me the fuck off.

As would doing a story so outside of what a Spider-Man story should be.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut...I have come to appreciate some caveats to that in the context of this series.

Spider-Geddon mercifully didn’t derailing Peter (or to my knowledge Miles’) solo books the way Spider-Verse did. Even in Spec from what I’ve read it’s just Spider-Man and Morlun punching each other on the streets which mitigates the mysticism that typically shouldn’t be in a Spider-Man story. Plus Zdarsky’s (crappy) Spec run had wrapped up when Spider-Geddon hijacked Spec.

Spider-Geddon is in a sense off to the side, it’s own mini-series and can thus be it’s own thing. The tie-ins to it from other titles (like Spider-Gwen) is another discussion and I’m not reading everything because I don’t hate myself enough to do that.

Not only does this mostly mitigate it not being what a Spider-Man story should usually be (because it’s a Spider-Man universe story off to the side, not a Peter Parker or Miles story in their own books) but it also better justifies Miles and Otto getting the spotlight.

Whilst in Spider-Verse it was insulting that Peter wasn’t the main character in his own book, because this isn’t happening in his own book (but he is still the lead in his tie-ins to the main story) it makes his absence from the spotlight okay.

In theory it even makes Otto’s presence in the spotlight okay...were it not for him being an asshat painted as more morally greyer than an asshat.

That however does bring up the problem that this series was both advertised as and specifically exists to serve Miles first and foremost. This series was supposed to make bank off the public awareness of Into the Spider-Verse but Miles is at best the secondary character in this cast of thousands vs. Otto who is clearly the primary character. He gets more panel time, he gets more exploration of his personality...even if that mostly amounts to obnoxiously repeating ‘the die is cast’ over and over.

It doesn’t help when the narrative, in spite of it’s pretences of even handedness, subtly paints Otto as in the right and much smarter than Miles.

Sticking with the issue of leadership I get that this event exists to primarily (in theory) serve Miles and secondarily (in theory) serve Otto (in practice it is the reverse) because one was getting a movie and the other was getting a solo book.

So it adds up then that they’d be the leaders of their respective factions....but...surely on Miles’ team there were more qualified people?

Miles is an inexperienced kid who to my understanding has never operated as a leader in a team. You have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more experienced Spider-Heroes there some of whom may have worked as leaders before so...why is Miles leader in-story exactly?

I mean think about it, Peter was made leader of a faction in Spider-Verse because he succeeded in beating Morlun and/or he was the Chosen One or something right?

But...RYV Peter is right there. He’s identical to 616 Peter in almost every way except he

a)      Didn’t have 10+ years of shitty Brand New Day and Slott stories to live through...which automatically makes him better than 616 Peter if anything, and

b)      He’s had over 8 years worth of experience functioning as part of a team and arguably the leader of it to, or at least co-leader with MJ

Surely he  is more qualified than Miles?

Another sort of double edged sword presented in this issue is how it handles tie-ins.

Spider-Verse is slightly notorious for Slott outright lying in claiming that you wouldn’t need to read the tie-ins to follow the story but of course you did.

However to Spider-Geddon’s credit that’s only been the case in regards to issue #0. Most everything of significance that has happened outside the main books has been shown or referenced enough that you could follow the main book thus far without having read anything else. Yes, this does still make the book feel like an anthology add for everything else but it’s done better than Spider-Verse is what I’m saying.

One thing that is a hold over problem though is the wonky timeline.

I said of issue #2 that it weirdly happens before issue #0 and shows us stuff that happens after the first Spec tie-in issue. Well issue #3 continues that trend.

Whilst Spider-Geddon #2 showed us something that surely happens after the first Spec  tie-in issue (thus ruining it’s cliffhanger) but Spider-Geddon #3 seems to give us the resolution to that second tie-in issue as well because we learn Peter chooses to fight Morlun in order to keep him occupied and make everyone else’s jobs’ easier.

Um....nice to be told that in this issue rather than be shown it in Peter’s own book.

And before you ask if I just read things out of order I double checked and the second Spec tie-in issue was in fact released after Spider-Geddon #3 so the editor(s) fucked up big time.

It’s also a decision that seriously hurts the main book if they stick to it going forward.

Because Morlun for the strong first impression he had...was really never one of the more interesting or colourful of Spider-Man’s enemies.

And his family are even blander variant action figure versions of him.

Verna is Female Morlun.

Daemos is Bigger, Dumber, more Brutish Morlun.

Brix and Bora are ‘Those Ghost Twins from Matrix Reloaded’ Morlun...who also take out whips and pose as if it’s fight time for no reason in that one panel randomly.

Jennix is Scientist Morlun if he also ripping off Ra’s Al Ghul.

And Solus is Old Morlun who looks like evil Santa Claus.  

If Morlun isbread with some thinly spread butter, then his family has no butter and has dried out a lot.

Like honestly how much of a difference would it have made if you swapped out 2 of the 4 Inheritors in this story with Verna and Morlun who were absent? Nothing sans the fact that you needed Jennix to do science stuff but even then he wasn’t very good at it. And that’s the plot too. He’s a super cloning genius but he can’t figure out New U tech. Um....okay that is weird.

Moving on, this is more a point in connection to Spider-Force than this comic but Otto claims that he handpicked the members of that team.

This raises some questions.

1)      How? I get Ashley Barton, Kaine and Jessica Drew. He knows all of them, but how could he have known about Charlie?

2)      Spider-Force claims that the strike force was assembled because they don’t mind dying. Now this is inconsistent in the issue itself but for the sake of argument let’s say it was true, how would Doc Ock know any of those people sans maybe Ashley wouldn’t mind dying. Maybe also Kaine but I’d imagine his bad blood with Kaine would colour his perceptions on that one. With Jessica and Charlie...there is no reason for him to think that that I can think of.

3)      Now in fairness the attitude and skillset of that team does make them well suited to a strikeforce...except Charlie. He seems tough and streetwise...why does this make him a great fit for that team, someone Otto would handpick??????????

Let’s stick with Scarlet Spiders for a moment.

So Ben Reilly’s 27th clone says dying all those times turned him wonky. Okay that’s not too bad. But also all the other spiders met him and he already explained himself to them and endeared himself to them.

Again...why are we telling but not showing. Ben Reilly (after recently being basically an evil businessman) meets a version of Norman Osborn? Where was that juicy scene??????

Let’s change gears here and talk something more superficial briefly.

So the art was....good. Different artists from the last 2 issues and it shows but not bad art by any means. The transition from one artist to another is a little noticeably but the styles are similar enough and both look good enough (great even) that it’s not a problem.

The fight scenes sans anything involving Leopardon though...are. They’re just so bland and functional, there is no sense of dynamism or choreography to them. I blame there being too many characters along with the Inheritor’s boring visual designs.

Ironically for all my gripes the last scene of the comic was...intriguing.

I didn’t read the Edge of Spider-Geddon issue introducing Norman Osborn Spider-Man...but now I just might do that.

The idea of Norman being Spider-Man is already kind of interesting.

But more poignantly the idea that whilst Miles and Otto have divided the team along moral lines and the Inheritors are also out there, there is now a small, secret fourth faction working their own agenda makes this way more interesting.

It hints that Spider-Geddon will become more like a real war and have people running their own agendas. And Norman is a great choice to make that faction. What’s so delectable also is Norman isn’t even making a power play out of selfishness per se. He like Miles and Otto is seeking to win the war, beat the Inheritors and above all else survive, but he’s just considering yet more extreme methods to do it. In a very abstract way it’s a little like how Xavier and Magneto fundamentally disagree about their methods regarding mutantkind but they are united in fundamentally disagreeing with Apocalypse third extremist option.

So over all...I can’t say I disliked reading this issue. A first for the main Spider-Geddon book I must admit.

P.S. the cover lied. No fight between the factions and no Superior Ock

[kent58kent]

Way too many Promises, Too Few SOLUTIONS!

Americans, usually, complain about the particular quality, or determination, of their general public officials, but, seldom, examine and/ or even consider, whether that they are simply just, listening to the empty pledges, and rhetoric, rather than the good quality of the visions, and even solutions! Unfortunately, this is because associated with, either the apathy of the electorate, or their unwillingness to delve profoundly, and enquire meaningful concerns, before they have your vote, and elect a person, who might end up being inappropriate, or not get, the type associated with leader, they think, they are electing, many become disillusioned by the method, rather than accepting, it is the duty of each arrêter, paying far more attention, through the advertising campaign - process. Wouldn't we all get, better served, when our public representatives, offered fewer promises, and used much less rhetoric, and somewhat, offered, meaningful, well - considered, viable REMEDIES? With that inside mind, this content will briefly consider, review, and go over, using the mnemonic approach, why this kind of matters. 1. Assistance: Closely examine, who may be being served, with a particular candidate! Good quality leaders emphasis meaningful service, to typically the citizens, they represent, along with the nation, they serve! 2. Alternatives: Performs this person, proceed, using a willingness, to be able to consider, and take a look at, all viable alternatives and alternatives, rather than any personal/ political agenda, and/ or, self -- interest? 3. Hear; learn; leadership: Rather than believing, one offers each of the answers, plus proceeds, unwilling to listen effectively, and consistently, learn from every single conversation and knowledge, he will not exhibit the level of quality, meaningful, relevant, sustainable leadership, our own nation needs, in addition to deserves! 4. Beneficial; usable; unique: Steer clear of electing individuals, who else emphasize rhetoric, over useful ideas, and viable solutions. We need to get served by individuals, with usable techniques, where we may become better! Constantly consider, what about a particular applicant, might be relatively unique, and help make that person a better leader. 5. On time; trend - setter: Blaming and complaining about the past, quite than introducing pertinent, timely ideas and even solutions, serves really little purpose, to the nation, or residents! Rather, we want people, who proceed, to become trend - setters, and assist the nation, in order to evolve, in the particular best, most relevant, sustainable manner. six. Ideas; integrity; creativity: Does the possible leader, have typically the imagination, combined using absolute integrity, to be able to proceed, with important, worthwhile ideas, which in turn benefit, and serve the common great? 7. Opportunities: We have to elect candidates, that are ready, willing in addition to able, to pursue the finest, virtually all relevant, opportunities, to serve, America's best interests! 8. Requirements: Whose needs, will that potential head, represent? The canton must consider the character, and objectives, of someone, before buying - into, their own rhetoric, and promises! 9. System; sustainable solutions: Fully think about, whether someone has the capabilities of creating and developing, the very best system, to accomplish worthwhile objectives! read more must be to perceive in addition to conceive of, make, develop, and put into action, the most relevant, sustainable solutions! Our company is never served, once we elect, leaders, along with, far, too a lot of promises, and too few, viable OPTIONS! America only will turn out to be, the best, it can possibly be, when/ if, the canton assumes, far more responsibility, and concentrate! Richard has owned or operated businesses, been a COO, CEO, Representative of Development, specialist, professionally run events, consulted to thousands, conducted personal development seminars, and worked on political campaigns, for 4 decades. Rich features written three guides and thousands regarding articles. Website: http://plan2lead.net and LIKE the Facebook page with regard to common sense national politics: http://facebook.com/commonsense4all

[insanescriptist]

If Xanxus, Squallo, Lus, Bel, and Mammon ended up being reincarnated in the MHA universe, do you think they'd end up being labeled at heroes or villains? Also who do you think Xanxus would recruit to be his new lightning and cloud guardians? Do you think their flames should count as a quirk or should they be born with a quirk on top of their ability to use flames? If so, what quirks should Team Xanxus possess on top of their ability to use flames? What aliases would they use in that universe?

To be honest, none of them intended to be Professional Heroes or much involved in the Hero Popularity Contest, as being a Professional Hero was as much about that as actually capturing villains and rescuing people. The priorities that some people had, really.

Not that, Squalo mused, they had much choice if they wanted to be around Xanxus who somehow wound up as the adoptive son of Endeavor and because of that, a hero in his own right; yeah, that was a riot to think about even now, much less to read the old reports about. Media censored out a lot because of the fact that Xanxus at the time was a child and so not expected to have control of his ‘Quirk’ especially one so destructive after seeing his mother get killed in front of him by a minor villain while on a trip with his mother. But basically the gist was, Endeavor liked Xanxus having the ruthlessness to kill and a powerful fire Quirk and so pretty much snatched Xanxus for himself with the law bending over backwards for the number two hero.

Sometime between training and trauma and family bonding with Endeavor and his icy bride, Xanxus remembered who he was, which triggered those who were bonded to him to remember who they were. Not that they knew it at the time, or at least not until Mammon got in contact with all of them. Through a dream because that was the most efficient way to do it all at once, after Mammon figured out how to do that again.

They were pretty much bound together after that considering all the memories that came their way as well. Since their Sky Remembered, they also Remembered him and their selves. Things were a little awkward for them, as they also remembered how to use Flames instead of just their Quirks; nevermind, having actually been reborn and inhabiting different bodies.

Which might be why Squalo skipped through so many years of school and into a hero program despite his Quirk being pretty much lethal on anyone and anything. So to do Hero-work he had to be good enough and smart enough that no one say he didn’t belong as a Hero despite working as effectively Quirkless.

It was also why they were a very much international -if small- team of heroes that worked against organized crime. Quirks and superpowers or not, people were still people and business was still business; Quirks and associated powers just added nuances. Working against organized crime was hilarious in an ironic sort of way, considering this was a world where the Vongola either never existed or died off in its early years and Squalo had looked. More importantly Mammon had looked and found nothing.

It also never stopped being funny to see Xanxus fuss over his new siblings or to have him be bamboozled to see the affection returned. It was odd to have a properly bonded Lightning around but Endeavor’s first-born was solid and alive in a way Levi never was; he had passion. Mostly against the pageantry involved in the professional hero business where heroes did things for the look of it but it wasn’t like that didn’t offend all of them on some level.

Which was why the dump of a neighborhood they had originally settled their business in had bloomed and blossomed into something that was very much in line with what the Vongola was originally founded on and for, just done a lot more legally and with less murder. More arrests though but that could be because Japan’s government actually functioned unlike the local government in Primo’s time.

Why they were based in Japan was entirely due to Xanxus being unwilling to leave his new siblings with their less than ideal father or mentally fragile mother so it was a good thing they were popular. Mostly for being foreigners who were damn good, but also because supporting extra mouths always took more money than originally estimated unless that person was Mammon. Mammon effectively owned their brand and managed things for them -not just their money- and it never stopped amusing Squalo that Mammon bothered to obtain their hero license if only to sell their own image. Mammon’s official Quirk meant that Mammon was one of those rare heroes capable of teleporting and so was well-compensated for their efforts. Being a hero, their greed was a little less obvious and Squalo was willing to believe that Mammon was making a profit off of being altruistic somehow without bothering with a media circus.

Bel hadn’t obtained his license yet but that’s because at seventeen he was still too young to officially obtain a pro-license that wasn’t for a sidekick. And Royalty weren’t sidekicks. He did however have the license necessary to design and patent hero equipment, like Boss did for all that Luss also had the one that let him be a costume designer. Nevermind that Luss did have other licenses need for being a Hero and being able to use Flames in the name of ‘Quirk-healing.’

Which is why the attack of the Nommu as he later learned they were called was surprising; Boss and he were planning on meeting up with Endeavor and the youngest Todoroki only for the city to be attacked by beings with masks and generally dark skin.

Beings with enough strength to swat various small time pro-heroes with ease.

What a time to not have a sword…

“Any idea of what these things are?”

“Nommu or something like that. They’re genetically enegineered pests created by some villains.” Boss pulled out his phone to type a message; a century or so later still hadn’t changed the Japanese tendency to use e-mail instead of text messaging. That cost extra, apparently.

“So just menaces,” Squalo judged as one of the bird like ones picked up a pro-hero to smash the ridiculous looking man against some store windows. And then through them. He was probably dead or close to it now… “Voi! If your Quirk isn’t good for combat, you’re just in the way! Focus on evacuating civilians or rescue as needed!”

“Think that was loud enough shark?” Boss grumped as uncovered the ear closest to Squalo. “One of these Nommu was tough enough to make All Might get serious. They can regenerate.”

“So I can chop off some limbs without concern.” Well, if he had a sword.

“Sticking me with cauterization duty shark? I ought to fire you.” Boss snarked back, reaching into one of Mammon’s ‘portals’ and withdrawing a shape that Squalo knew too well.

He had a sword!

“Voi! Time to put this to use!”

-=-=-

Xanxus: Quirk? People believe it is his pyromancy and ability to incinerate things via Wrath. Endeavor adopted him to be a ‘successor’  as at the time, Toya/Dabi had proven to have a less than ideal Quirk.

Squalo: Quirk: Hyrdokinesis. His range is terrible being only about a sword-length away but he’s not limited to just water; people’s blood is a viable target. Hence it being pretty much lethal to anyone he fights with it.

Bel: Quirk?

Mammon: Quirk?

Luss: Quirk????

[queen-of-bel]

part 3 of a series i'm doing on analyzing the desu characters

naoya | kaido | amane | gin | mari

I'll be talking about Atsuro in this post since @roomofangel-s encouraged me to write one and I was planning on writing one anyway. I'll be honest, this was a challenge. Atsuro doesn't undergo any character development throughout the game, and is pretty much the definition of "what you see is what you get". He's a very straightfoward person and is fiercely loyal to Kazuya, but that's about it.

Still, every other Devil Survivor character has their own personal motivations for their actions throughout the game, and I really found it odd that only Atsuro was the one who showed this utter lack of conviction. No matter which route Kazuya chooses, Atsuro is there for him. Atsuro has his own idea of how to end the lockdown, but he's the only person who willingly abandons their idea to immediately join Kazuya if Kazuya chooses a different idea.

(I say "immediately" because there is one character who switches sides in Overclocked, but I'll leave that for her analysis. Also, Yuzu's idea doesn't count as having a belief.)

So, Atsuro didn't show any indication of standing his ground, and really, all his character boiled down to "loyal to his best friend". Given that every other character is fleshed out, I found it hard to believe that such a major character as Atsuro is as plain as he initially appears. But after thinking about it more, I think this lack of conviction is exactly what defines Atsuro as a character.

Atsuro doesn't really lack conviction per se, but what he lacks is the confidence to stand up for what he believes in. Given everything that's presented in game about him, there's only one reason I can think of for that.

At the end of the day, Atsuro is a very lonely person, who is desperate for friendship. This desperation leaves him with a fear of abandonment, an aversion to conflict, and ultimately, he is too scared to stand up to others.

Atsuro was born to computer science researchers who moved to California when he was in grade school. They offered him the chance to come along, but he always refused, citing his poor English. Now, this was made as a passing remark, but it's actually something interesting to note. Grade school children already aren't really fluent in their native language, and they tend to be more confident in attempting to speak a second language. For a young child to be willing to separate from his parents (who are both presumably fluent in English) simply because he doesn't think he can speak the language well enough speaks volumes about his self-confidence.

He spent most of his childhood online, making friends with college students and adults as his parents were away and his friends had cram school. He says that nobody ever caught on that he was just a child, which is a good testament to how mature he is, even as a child.

Atsuro also states that while it was fun to have the anonymity of the internet, he wasn't doing it to have fun-- he was doing it because it was all he had. Again, this was made as a passing remark, but if a child thinks that all he has is the solace of internet friends and the anonymity that comes with it, then that's an indication that the child is extremely lonely in real life.

We also know that he was bullied in middle school. Thankfully it didn't go too far since Keisuke helped stand up for him, but Atsuro easily admits that without Keisuke's help, he would've been at the bullies' mercy.

So now, we can start to understand what kind of childhood Atsuro had. He was lonely and insecure, unwilling to stand up for himself, and felt most comfortable in an environment where people didn't know who he was.

This leads him to who he is now. Atsuro is very loyal to his friends, but at the expense of his own morals. This is evidenced in Naoya's seventh day, just before Kazuya summons Babel. Atsuro says that he's unsure of whether or not they're doing the right thing, but he'll always be Kazuya's friend regardless.

Now, what Atsuro has agreed to do isn't a small favor, or even a large one. Atsuro has agreed to kill YHVH. That's one hell of a commitment, and requires a strong amount of determination. The decision to stand by Kazuya goes beyond typical friend loyalty. Even Yuzu, who's obviously in love with Kazuya, backed out because she thought it was the wrong path to follow.

So, what gives? Why does Atsuro stand by Kazuya to make such an extreme decision when he doesn't believe in it?

The answer to that ties back to Atsuro's insecurities and loneliness. Kazuya is his best friend, and Atsuro treasures that more than anything else. Just to state it one more time to really understand what their friendship means to him, Atsuro would rather kill God than lose his best friend.

This isn't the only time Atsuro is willing to compromise his morals for his friends. He's demonstrated a few times that he is extremely loyal to his friends, perhaps to a fault. This is particularly evident in his relationship with Keisuke.

On the first day, when Atsuro runs into Keisuke, Keisuke runs away when he sees their death clock at 0. Kazuya tells Atsuro and Yuzu this, but Atsuro denies it, saying it isn't possible. But remember, Atsuro hadn't seen or talked to Keisuke in 2-3 years, and realistically Keisuke has changed since he was a middle school student. And yet, Atsuro was very adamant that Keisuke would never do such a thing. It's a realistic and understandable reaction, but it's important to note how Atsuro still holds Keisuke in high regard and is so loyal to someone he lost contact with years ago.

On the second day, when the Laplace email predicts that there will be over 50 casualties because of a demon invasion in Ikebukuro, he is initially extremely concerned about all of the victims, but when he realizes Keisuke is in danger his priorities change. When Yuzu points out that there are supposed to be 50 other potential casualties, Atsuro tells her to basically forget about that and focus all their efforts on saving Keisuke. From this exchange, it's clear that Atsuro prioritizes Keisuke's wellbeing over the others. He could've said to defeat the demons to save everyone, but he made a conscious decision to shove the thought of the 50 others out of his mind and only cared about saving one person-- his friend.

A small aside, Atsuro loses his temper with Keisuke after that battle, which is, interestingly enough, the only time in the game we see him willingly conflict with a friend.

On the fifth day when Kazuya confronts Keisuke about Yama, Atsuro asks Kazuya if there's any way to essentially turn a blind eye to Keisuke's actions. He doesn't want to fight his friend, and is willing to set aside their differences despite vehemently objecting to Keisuke's actions.

Of course he knows that Keisuke is in the wrong, but he's so averse to conflict that he's willing to compromise his morals and settle things with an "agree to disagree" mindset.

Atsuro has also been shown to be unwilling to stand up for himself. This is evident in his friendship with Yuzu.

I won't mince words. Yuzu is not very kind to Atsuro. Yuzu cares for Atsuro, but her teasing goes too far at times. We know that this is a habitual occurence, though, because of his (lack of) a reaction, and he tells Kaido on Naoya's eighth day that he's used to fighting with Yuzu. Atsuro never tells her to stop, though, and the most likely reason I can think of is his aversion to conflict. In his mind, it's better to have a friend who takes things too far, than to not have one at all.

Something else to consider is that Atsuro is vaguely implied to have feelings for Yuzu. At the end of Naoya's no kill route, when Yuzu and Atsuro are reading an email from Naoya, Naoya says that Kazuya will be coming home soon, and thus Atsuro's momentary dream will end.

Naoya's use of the word "momentary" means Atsuro's dream was only viable when Kazuya was gone. There's also the fact that Atsuro becomes extremely embarrassed when Yuzu asks him about it and quickly tries to change the subject. The only thing I can think of to explain this is that he has feelings for Yuzu, and hoped Yuzu would reciprocate once Kazuya is gone. Seeing as Kazuya is coming back soon, Yuzu's feelings for Kazuya won't fade, and Naoya knows that.

Again, this is a subtle event, but it would explain why Atsuro became Yuzu's gofer throughout the lockdown without complaint. If we compare Yuzu's actions around the person she likes to Atsuro's, we can see a big difference, and Atsuro's unwillingness to stand up for himself is apparent.

If Yuzu disagrees with Kazuya, she'll put aside her feelings and stand by what she believes in. She does so when Kazuya initially agrees to Naoya's plan, and even resorts to siding with the angels, who she firmly believes are selfish, to kill Kazuya if he kills any humans during Naoya's eighth day.

Compare this to Atsuro, who accepts Yuzu's teasing (which sometimes borders on verbal abuse) without standing up for himself. The closest he ever gets is telling Yuzu she's being cruel, but even then he phrases it as a nonchalant question and simply lets it go.

Everything I've cited so far is extremely subtle, but together it does show that Atsuro isn't strong enough to stand up for himself or his convictions.

He is the type to enable his friends when they make the wrong decision (Keisuke with Yama, and Kazuya during Naoya's kill route). Despite knowing it's the wrong thing to do, he still becomes a murderer if that's what Kazuya wants. He makes up excuses to himself, saying that this is the only option, but he knows that it isn't. Naoya explicitly gave Kazuya the option to convince humans that the angels are the true enemy, but Atsuro didn't fight for that option. He knew that was the right thing to do, but he didn't speak up out of fear of angering Kazuya and losing his friendship.

So now that we've established that aspect of Atsuro, I'm going to switch gears a bit and talk about another thing which defines Atsuro to me, which is his insecurities.

Atsuro is a very good programmer, and Naoya's best (and most likely only) student. There isn't really any question as to his competency, but Atsuro feels the need to bring up multiple times how good he is at programming and how he's Naoya's star student. He's not lying, so I wouldn't call it overcompensation, but he does so to reiterate in people's minds that he's an extremely accomplished programmer. But it's never good enough for him to just say that he's great at what he does. He always has to back it up with "because I'm Naoya's student". This happens so regularly that Yuzu comments how sick she is of hearing about it.

It's interesting that when Kazuya finishes that sentence for him on the fifth day, Atsuro is dumbstruck and tells Kazuya how much it means to hear that coming from him. His expression implies he wasn't expecting Kazuya to say that, which to me, says that Atsuro still thinks people doubt his abilities, despite being Naoya's apprentice.

The thing is, whenever he says that, it always feels to me like he's leaning on that as proof of his accomplishments.

Atsuro was able to decrypt Naoya's work multiple times, even when the Shomonkai couldn't even do so themselves.

This is solid evidence of Atsuro's abilities, but he never lets his work speak for itself. If he constantly has to rely on Naoya's endorsement, it shows he's always second guessing the quality of his work. He believes that people will still doubt him, despite looking at what he's accomplished, but if he has Naoya's recommendation, then he has to be good, right? Ultimately, it feels like he has no faith in his abilities, and has to rely on external praise in order to feel validated.

Atsuro comes off as a very loyal friend, and while he certainly is, I don't see it coming from genuine support of his friends. I see it stemming from a fear of abandonment, and an unwillingness to stand up for himself and his beliefs. Atsuro is loyal to a fault, resulting in him compromising or even abandoning his morals completely. So as harsh as it may sound, I think the adjective "weak" is better suited to describe Atsuro than "loyal".