#who had shown my how to code back in our ani days | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hrizantemy · 2 months ago

Note

Nesta's boots.

In the second chapter of ACOTAR, Feyre makes a note of how shiny they are. In ACOSF, when Nesta returns to the cabin, her point of view shows them as being so worn that they had a holes in them. While the most obvious reason for this is retcon, I think there is a in-universe reason that's worth looking into, because it's not the first time something like that happened.

“I needed new boots, but Elain needed a new cloak, and Nesta was prone to crave anything someone else possessed.” ACOTAR, Chapter 1

In the first book, Feyre is written as someone practical, who is doing her best to keep her family alive. She also believes her sisters to be frivolous in their spending, which is shown when she mentions in chapter 2, that she feels the need to hide money.

“No, she just spent whatever money I didn’t hide from her" ACOTAR, Chapter 2

So, going back to the first quote, the fact that Feyre herself mentions Elain's need for a new cloak, already paints a picture of Nesta in our minds, of being the worst of the two sister, with the implication that Elain actually needs it while Nesta doesn't.

“I glanced at Nesta’s still-shiny pair by the door. Beside hers, my too-small boots were falling apart at the seams, held together only by fraying laces.” ACOTAR, Chapter 2

This perception of Nesta is practically set in stone by the description of those boots, in comparison's to Feyre's. I do think it's worth noting that, while we get the description of the boots the second Nesta mentions them, we don't get a description of Elain's coat, and the condition it's in. All we see is her whining about how cold she'll get.

However, in ACOSF, the description of the boots that we get is entirely contradictory.

“There in the corner sat a pair of worn, half-rotted shoes. Her shoes. One of them was bursting at the toe’s seam. She’d worn those shoes—in public. Could still remember mud and stones creeping in.” ACOSF, Chapter 55

To begin with, I think it's important to consider what each pair of shoes was put through to get them in that condition.

Feyre, as a hunter, spent a lot of her time in the forest throughout the year. She's setting up traps, stalking potential prey, and carrying it back, either to town or to her cabin. I imagine that she also skins and preps the meat while wearing her shoes, especially during winter, meaning they often get covered in all sorts of substances that would cause them to fall apart faster.

Meanwhile, Nesta spends her days, largely, in the cabin. Perhaps she steps outside every now and then, perhaps she goes into town some days. But, for the most part, she doesn't put her shoes through half the amount of stress Feyre does.

If we also consider that neither of them probably have particularly good quality shoes anyway (I'm sure in such a poor village, there's a cap on the quality of the products they sell, since most people wouldn't be able to afford them at a certain point, so there wouldn't be a point in stocking it, if vendors even have the ability too), then it makes sense why Nesta's shoes may seem better off than Feyre's, from her perspective.

This wouldn't be the last time Feyre's view on wealth is skewed.

"Velaris was by no means poor, its people mostly cared for, the buildings and streets well kept. My sister, it seemed, had managed to find the only thing relatively close to a slum." ACOFAS, Chapter 4

'Relatively close', she said.

So not a slum. Not even particularly run down. Maybe somewhat outdated, I imagine, but not violating health or safety codes, in any way. The streets themselves don't seem to be particularly dirty either. It's very likely that the area itself is safe too. I mean, this singular city has the, supposed, most powerful fae in their court living there. They all see their High Lord regularly, you never know if the spymaster is lurking in a dark corner, and the entire IC seem to have way too much time on their hands. Mor spends half the books at Rita's, for God's sake. And they all treassure Velaris on a personal level, so it's understandable that crime would be very low there, and why crime rates in places like Illyria and the Hewn City are much higher.

Both of these instances show just how skewed Feyre's perception of wealth is, which shouldn't be surprising. Feyre's inability to read shows how uneducated she was, even before her family lost their wealth. Frankly, I think Nesta has a better perception of money than Feyre ever did.

Nesta was raised to be a Queen. The human lands seem to be based off of Medieval Europe, so the roles of Queens in universe are likely to reflect that. Mor confirms at least the second part in ACOWAR.

“But she was human. And a queen—who needed to continue her royal line, especially during such a tumultuous time.” ACOWAR, Chapter 66

This means that a Queen's main role, aside from providing heirs, would be running the royal household, managing the finances, hiring staff, etc. There were times when they may take part in religious ceremonies, and, depending on their circumstances, politics. But, largely, their main duty was to run the royal household.

“You would need ten thousand ships,” Nesta said, her voice breaking. “You would need an armada. I have calculated the numbers. And if you are readying for war, you will not send your ships to us. We are stranded here.” ACOMAF, Chapter 57.

Nesta proved in ACOMAF, when she calculated the number of ships that would be needed to evacuate the people inhabiting the mortal lands on Prythian.

So, logically speaking, who would've been running their household while living in the cottage? I doubt their father, who's track record shows how terrible he is with money, would be doing it. Feyre's perception of wealth has been shown to be skewed too. This leaves Nesta and Elain. Weather or not Elain has the skills to do that is unclear, at this point, which means the most likely person was Nesta. Even after they were given money by Tamlin, the person running their newly restored household would, probably, be Nesta. After the last time it's unlikely she would trust him with such a sum of money again. Nobody would be there to help them if he lost it.

This leads me to the question, what exactly was Nesta spending money on?

When Feyre mentioned hiding money, she mentioned that she did it because Nesta spent it, but, to the best of my memory, we never learn what she bought with it. Is it possible Nesta struggled to adjust after losing their wealth, and made some impulse purchases? Yes. In fact, I'd say it's likely that she did, which may be what Feyre is basing her opinion of Nesta's spending habit on. However, it's also likely that as time went on, she started to help manage finances. Replace things that Feyre refused to because she didn't think they needed to be replaced, like Nesta's boots.

We also know that it was likely Nesta, and perhaps Elain, who handled domestic labour in their household. This would include fixing torn clothes. It's unclear exactly how long Nesta and Feyre had the same pair of boots, but even for someone who didn't leave their home much, they would begin to rot eventually, especially if they're low quality. It also wouldn't be surprising if, as part of the domestic labour, Nesta tried to clean, fix or polish their clothes and shoes however she could, but with Feyre heading to the forest every day, I doubt it would work as well on hers than Nesta's or Elain's.

With all of this in mind, it makes sense why, from Feyre's point of view, Nesta's boots look fine, better than fine, even, from her perspective. And now, with sudden access to hoards of wealth, Feyre has essentially gone from zero to a hundred in less than a day. She never experienced the middle ground, that most people live with, leaving her feeling entitled, and out of touch by the time we get to ACOFAS, and maybe even in ACOSF too. Its why she seems so jarring, like she forgot her roots entirely.

1. The Boots as Narrative Symbol: A Mirror of Perception

The contrast between Feyre’s perception of Nesta’s shiny boots in ACOTAR and Nesta’s actual memory of her “half-rotted” shoes in ACOSF is more than just a continuity oversight — it reflects a fundamental truth of the series: that Feyre is an unreliable narrator.

That line — “Nesta was prone to crave anything someone else possessed” — comes from Feyre’s internal monologue, not from Nesta’s actions. Feyre is projecting resentment. Her situation is horrible, and she’s young and desperate. And instead of seeing Nesta’s refusal to adapt as a trauma response or a psychological defense mechanism (which we later learn it was), Feyre interprets it as selfishness.

“I glanced at Nesta’s still-shiny pair by the door.” — ACOTAR, Chapter 2

But then in ACOSF, we get:

“There in the corner sat a pair of worn, half-rotted shoes. Her shoes. One of them was bursting at the toe’s seam.” — ACOSF, Chapter 55

That is a full-circle moment. It's not a contradiction — it's a correction. A window into how one character (Feyre) perceived things through her own bias, and how reality was far more complex. This shift matters because it reframes how we’re meant to understand Nesta. It’s the moment where the “spoiled, cold sister” trope begins to fracture, and the truth of her silent, lonely survival comes to light.

2. Wealth, Class, and Skewed Perception

You're absolutely right that Feyre’s perception of wealth is deeply skewed, both before and after her transition into High Lady. Her family was rich once, but she was a child — likely shielded from the logistics of how wealth was managed. When that wealth collapsed, she learned one thing: survival requires control. Her obsession with control — of food, money, her sisters’ choices — became a coping mechanism.

“No, she just spent whatever money I didn’t hide from her.” — ACOTAR, Chapter 2

But what Feyre sees as “frivolous spending” could very well have been basic necessities. In a household that was falling apart, with no income, and no parental guidance, it would have made sense for Nesta to try and replace things. To buy soap. Or fabric. Or, yes, a slightly better pair of boots to last the winter. And Feyre’s disdain isn’t rooted in logic — it’s rooted in resentment, which becomes increasingly clear with time.

Let’s not forget:

“Velaris was by no means poor… My sister, it seemed, had managed to find the only thing relatively close to a slum.” — ACOFAS, Chapter 4

This isn’t Nesta seeking out squalor — it’s Feyre projecting class-based judgment. It’s Feyre, who now lives in palaces and wears Night Court couture, acting like someone who used to be poor but now has the luxury to sneer at others from a safe distance. Her “relatively close to a slum” line isn’t just ignorant — it’s classist. It’s a reminder that Feyre hasn’t actually unlearned the trauma of being poor; she’s just buried it under wealth.

3. Nesta’s Financial Role and Domestic Responsibility

You hit on something truly important when you said Nesta was raised to be a queen — because that would have included education in household management. Queens in medieval and early modern European societies often oversaw everything from royal expenses to household inventories. They were expected to know how to run a court, a kitchen, and a staff. Even without fae-level magic, Nesta likely had early training in reading ledgers, assessing quality, and making judgment calls.

“You would need ten thousand ships,” Nesta said, her voice breaking. “I have calculated the numbers.” — ACOMAF, Chapter 57

Feyre, in contrast, couldn’t read at the beginning of ACOTAR. She admits this. So why is she the one assumed to be the practical, financially literate sister?

It’s because Feyre tells the story. She frames herself as the martyr, and her sisters as burdens. But who’s doing the mending? Who’s buying the salt? Who’s maintaining the hearth while Feyre is in the woods?

It’s likely Nesta did what she could — in a home where she had no real resources, no parental support, and no mental health help. Her “frivolity” may well have been the bare minimum of caretaking — but because Feyre sees it as excessive, so do we.

4. Symbolic Labor and Feminine Expectations

The boots symbolize more than class — they symbolize expectation. Feyre was expected to labor physically, while Nesta was expected to serve aesthetically and socially. When Feyre’s labor was visible (bruises, blood, boots falling apart), it was “real.” When Nesta’s labor was invisible (sewing, budgeting, scrubbing a floor, fighting to maintain dignity), it was “useless.”

Sound familiar?

It’s a gendered double standard that echoes through both human and fae society in the series. Feyre became the “masculine” heroine — bow-wielding, hunting, sacrificing. Nesta was the “feminine” failure — bitter, cold, broken, and ornamental. But both girls suffered. Both survived. And only one was allowed to be praised for it.

5. Feyre’s Arc Toward Elitism

By ACOFAS and ACOSF, Feyre isn’t just removed from her roots — she’s romanticizing them. She frames her past as a hardship she alone endured, without acknowledging the nuances of what her sisters went through. Her judgment of Nesta’s apartment, her flippant dismissal of Illyrian or Hewn City culture, all reflect a Feyre who has adopted the classism of her new station. She means well. She’s trying. But she’s also deeply out of touch.

And here’s the hard truth:

Feyre never had to learn how to live in the middle. She jumped from poverty to divine wealth, from hunter to High Lady. She never had to rebuild slowly — so she can’t fathom what it means when others do.

Conclusion: The Boots Were Never Just Boots

They were a symbol. Of perception. Of judgment. Of class. Of trauma.

Feyre’s narrative taught us, early on, that she was the only one struggling — that her sisters were dead weight. But as the series unfolds, and we finally get the chance to see through Nesta’s eyes, we realize the truth is so much more complicated. Nesta didn’t just let her boots rot. She let herself rot. She wore them into the mud and let them fall apart, just like she did with her body.

Because that’s what happens when nobody saves you. And nobody sees you.

So yes — the boots matter.

#anti acosf #anti inner circle #anti acotar #anti rhysand #anti feysand #anti cassian #anti azriel #pro nesta #nesta archeron deserves better #anti amren #anti morrigan #anti nessian #anti night court

78 notes · View notes

hulloitsdani · 6 months ago

Note

hi dani fire emblem :) do you happen to have any thoughts on book 6 "I'm going to kill you too" scene?

Please, Dani fire emblem was my father. Just call me HulloIts.

As for the scene in question, oh man. It’s the “I’m going to kill you too” scene, what more can I add! I got some tweaks and reads on Letizia, but I feel like that scene speaks for itself. You don’t need me to tell you why it’s good— It’s one of the moments where feh’s writing really works.

Instead, I think what I can offer to the conversation is an analysis on Alfonse’s three gambit scenes and how they relate to each other. Because taken as a package, I find it fascinating how these scenes are treated by the narrative over time. Alfonse’s ability to pull these off is such a massive boon, but it’s been steadily growing into a delightful character flaw over the years.

Now, let’s back up. What do I mean by Alfonse’s gambit scenes? This is in reference to three scenes that have occurred throughout heroes: Alfonse calling Hel’s bluff in book 3, threatening Letizia in book 6, and his plot to cover for Ratatoskr in book 8. Also known as “Because it means that it is your life that will end in nine days’ time,” “I’m going to kill you too,” and “My saviors have arrived.” These scenes are defined by Alfonse risking everything on a charisma roll. There might not actually be any dice rolling, but that is certainly what it feels like. If he’s wrong about Hel’s curse, he’s dead. If he can’t convince Letizia of his ruthlessness, then he’s super dead and everyone’s screwed. If he doesn’t perfectly sell Hraesvelgr’s assassination attempt, then him AND Ratatoskr are, you guessed it, dead.

These are gambits— major risks with massive rewards. And what’s unique about Alfonse’s brand of it is that they occur on a social level. He’s not, for example, tactically sacrificing a hero for the chance of inflicting enough damage/debuffs so another can to land the kill. He’s not a tactician at the end of the day and has not been shown to be able to crunch those numbers that fast. Instead, he’s weaponizing everything he has gleaned about his enemies as people and staking his life on it.

Now, he does not do that without motive. For all of these scenes, he’s attempting to protect people while backed up into a corner. Using his encounter with Letizia as an example, she’s rather successfully forcing the Order’s hand into surrendering by sending innocent people to the Shadow Realm— I mean Embla’s domain. She’s working under the assumption that the Order, you know, cares about that type of thing. If Alfonse can successfully menace her into believing the opposite, even if for just a short time, it can give them the wiggle room to better position themselves and lessen the use of human shields as it would not longer be a tactical option. He’s protecting his friends and his people in one swoop at the expense of himself. Pulling that stunt with the lady who specializes in weaponizing information is a recipe for his future disaster, but that’s a loss he’d take in a heartbeat in order to keep everyone safe.

The same can be said about his encounter with Hel. He openly invites her to curse him, because in that nine day timeframe, he can ensure he drags Hel down with him. This is an infinitely better option for him than Hel slowly picking everyone off with her curse. Now, out of the three scenes, this one is notedly the most heroically coded and the most corned our protagonists are. We just spent an entire opening act witnessing the lethality and unavoidability of this curse. Of death herself. Alfonse, having had to spend that time accepting his own mortality, successfully weaponizes that acceptance against a cruel and power hungry death. That’s signifying a growth and change of his character. The success of that gambit permanently puts his own life on the gambling table. Which, in accordance to book 3’s themes of death, is a positive thing. But, as time goes on, this idea gains more nuance.

Which brings us back to Letizia. We are not narratively in Alfonse’s head when he pulls off this gambit. We understand the boy smiling in the face of death, because we have seen everything leading up to that point. We, comparably, do not initially understand the boy smiling as he says “I’m going to kill you too.” He has to explain himself afterwards. It’s very jarring as a result. Against a cruel god blinded by hubris, this gambit feels like overcoming against all odds. Against a mortal woman who successfully outsmarted him? It’s concerning to see that he has the capacity for that malice, even if it was not real. We didn’t have the context of Líf when Alfonse initially had that confrontation with Hel, but we do now. It colors all these more morally complex actions whether we want it to or not.

This brings me to the scene in book 8, which is by far the most interesting in my opinion. For the entire first half of that book, we are seeing the social manipulation game Alfonse excels at. He’s not the most friendly or personable, but he’s smart and good at pattern recognition. He knows the information his enemies have and successfully predicts their actions based on that. And he, unfortunately, correctly recognizes that Ratatoskr is coming under greater risk of being found out and getting potentially murdered on their behalf. If there is a mole, it’s going to be her. So he comes up with a scheme to ensure her safety via the best tool in his arsenal. Ole reliable, gambling his own life.

But, interestingly, this time he’s not simply trying to convince his enemies of his deception. No, the charisma check he has to pass here is deceiving his own allies. Against Letizia, keeping his friends out of the loop made a bit more sense. The narrative he was selling was that HE was the farce within the Order. His sister looking surprised at his “true nature” helped. That is not the case here. He kept his friends out of the loop to partially help sell the illusion that this assassination attempt was not planned, but mostly because they would not have allowed him to do this. They would not have approved of this overly dangerous plan, if the serious convincing required for Anna to let him go meet Veronica by himself is anything to go by. But this was the only way to ensure Ratatoskr’s safety, so he did it anyway. That is a fascinating character choice and I wish it caused more character conflict, but I suppose that’s what fanfiction and fanart are for.

Nonetheless, it’s fascinating how this behavior went from inciting a downright celebratory feeling to a more “what the hell is wrong with you?” reaction over time. The acceptance of his mortality in book three has straddled and then passed the line of overfamiliarity in book eight. This then pairs itself with his innate desire to protect those he cares about in ways that feel inevitable. If he doesn’t make that choice to put his life on the line, then it’s characters like Kiran experiencing the fallout. Or at least, that is how he perceives it after the events of seasons like book 5 and book 7. If their enemies are constantly trying to separate them, then maybe if he manually triggers it and puts the enemy focus on him instead, things will be better. The people he cares about won’t get hurt. It’s totally fine, he swears. He can take a hit.

#Alfonse is soooo normal about his protector role you guys trust me #I am such a reliably narrator and have never ever lied #Not to make an Alfonse post about his dynamic with Kiran again but I love me some consequences of removing the emotional support idiot #Keep these markable plushies together god damnit. Bad long term effects keep happening when they are #feh #fire emblem heroes #fire emblem #feh Ted talk #ask answered #fe alfonse #feh alfonse #Alfonse #feh letizia #FE Letizia

54 notes · View notes

innominaterifter · 1 year ago

Text

None of the fans of "Worm" could resist taking a photo or video in a cafe with that name.

I chose the most secluded table and tried to do everything unnoticed, and on the whole my plan was a success. But I did not take into account children's curiosity.

A little boy, who was bored sitting with his mother and her friends, wandered around the cafe and looked for something interesting. Well, he found.

I only noticed him when I heard a loud sigh and saw a face with widened eyes peeking out from behind the back of a chair at a nearby empty table. Hmm, maybe insects that bring sugar cubes are not the most common thing he sees every day.

I didn’t want any problems with the cafe’s administration, so I couldn’t find anything better than putting my finger to my lips and making “Shhhh.” It seemed to me that it would look humorous and friendly and at the same time convey a request not to attract attention.

Okay, that didn't work.

(HelpMe.file: Perhaps I should not have called for silence, but, on the contrary, been friendly and offered to introduce him to my insects. Children, unlike adults, are often much less prejudiced towards them. I should try this tactic next time)

The boy sighed loudly again (or was it a hiccup?), jumped onto the floor and ran to his mother. I quickly picked up the roach from the table and placed it on my neck so that it was hidden by my hair. There was no time to hide the insect in its container, especially since this would be a noticeable action. I wanted to leave my hands free just in case, but practice has shown that putting a roach in my pocket is not a good idea: this species is quite agile, although not very fast, and if it decides to crawl out of the pocket, it will definitely do it at the most inopportune moment, and I won't even feel it. On my neck, I feel exactly where it is and what it is doing, and if necessary, I can stop it or direct it in a different direction simply by pretending to straighten my hair.

At the same time, I heard the boy, swallowing his words with excitement, telling his mother about what he saw and pointing his finger in our direction. I was ready for anything, but I counted on the fact that parents rarely believe their children when they talk about something strange or unusual. A cockroach bringing sugar cubes to tea would likely fall into both of these categories.

So I smiled friendly and put on an understanding, sympathetic look code-named “Oh-these-children!”.

I have seen it performed by my relatives quite often. Then I didn’t understand what exactly it was about my behavior that made them feel uncomfortable in front of other people, but just in case, I remembered the corresponding facial expression with an embarrassed smile, a sigh, an eye roll and a shrug.

This is a very convenient reaction if you don't know how to react to almost any story about children (people very often - too often! - like to talk about their children).

It worked here too. Well, what the boy described was really not what people expect from reality. The child’s mother answered me with the same facial expression with an increased inclusion of the apologetic component (if you are interested, then the eyebrows are responsible for this; a stronger raising of the eyebrows up and towards each other. The lips too stretch more strongly downward than to the sides, the lower lip is tense and, as it were, propped up the upper one, creating a sad arch and only the corners of the lips indicate a smile. The movements of the shoulders and arms also change somewhat).

As I thought, she chose to believe not her son, but the picture of the world that had formed in her head and in this picture insects do not help drink tea.

But in any case, I decided that it was time for us to leave this cafe. We shot the video, and I could have finished my croissant with tea in some other place. Moreover, I needed to transplant the cockroach from my neck into its container, and it was better not to do this here since the offended little gremlin did not take his eyes off me.

So far, the cockroach behaved exemplary and sat calmly under my hair, but at any moment, its ganglion could sparkle and send the owner to look for adventure. I didn’t want to catch a cockroach on my cheeks or pull it out from under my clothes.

I stood up and headed towards the exit, accompanied by a suspicious look from the boy and an embarrassed and apologetic look from his mother. And when I opened the door to the street, two things happened at the same time: the cockroach got bored and started moving towards my jaw; a gust of street wind blew my hair back exposing my neck.

Umm, it turned out quite dramatic.

The boy squealed both triumphantly and fearfully and began pointing his finger in my direction, attracting the attention of his mother and her friends. But I was already on the street, the door slammed shut, cutting off the sounds from me. I returned the hair and the insect to their place and, walking past the large display windows of the cafe, out of the corner of my eye I saw the boy’s mother and several of her friends looking at me in dumbfounded looks.

Well, maybe next time she will decide to believe her son and not the stranger at the next table. But overall, it was fun, I love such accidents.

#skitter #taylor hebert #worm #parahumans #wormblr #wildbow #cosplay #worm web serial #insects #cockroaches #roach

124 notes · View notes

misscammiedawn · 2 months ago

Note

Cammie of the Dawn, I must hear you explain in great detail why you dislike Chris Nolan. It's enrichment.

*Grins*

Ah, Nolan. How we loathe you. Wynn above all but the hatred is in our core.

So the first and foremost is of course that we ran a movie theatre during the lockdown and Nolan famously pushed to force theatres to re-open during the early lockdown days of the pandemic. All so he could release his shit back-and-forth movie on a palindrome date. 7/27 I think it was. As if multiple months cannot accommodate this vanity.

Following the news that summer was infuriating because he was doing things like flying out to screen the film with CEOs of theatre chains to push them to lobby the release. It worked well enough that the company we worked with did open 70% of theatres prematurely. It was an insanely stressful time.

But moreover, he's incapable of telling a straight forward narrative with his in media res bullshit.

He has no respect for women. He and his brother rewrote the plot of The Prestige to kill both love interests as devices for the male lead's angst, Dark Knight kills its only female character to serve the male lead's angst and she spends her last moments comforting a man for the pain of her death, Inception only has one female character (Elliot Page does not count, especially as they male-coded his attire to prevent having to do anti-gravity with his hair) and it's literally a projection of how the male lead saw his dead ex-wife...

And that's without noting how many of the "only woman in this film" characters he or his brother writes are depicted as "bird in a cage" style ladies longing to be rescued from their circumstances. I'd give a by for Murph in Interstellar who is the hero that saves humanity in that film but she's a motivating factor for her father who the narrative revolves around. The woman is the savior of humanity and her sole character trait is "I miss my daddy"

He mixes movies to the point of which we would get daily complaints at the theatre and we had to put up signs like these to basically say "you can't get a refund if you can't hear the film"

He is one of the directors who switches the aspect ratio to and from IMAX in the middle of a scene so the "letterbox" bounces in and out constantly which is massively distracting and ruins enjoyment and flow of any given scene it happens to (he's not as bad as Michael Bay in this regard, however)

And honestly and truly? I hate what his movies have done to critique. I hate that his entire schtick is trying to explain movies to the audience (both Tenet and Inception are an hour of exposition followed by a film) and people who follow the "tell don't show" nature of these monologues got to write essays and make YouTube videos in which they claim superiority for "getting" it.

Inception in particular drives me crazy because...

The film is dull as fuck. This is a movie about invading dreams and the most bombastic out of normal things that happen are the gravity fight (which is awesome, tbh) and a train in the middle of a tarmac street. Everything else is just... werehouses, high end hotels and ski resorts. How the fuck do you manage to make "heisting the inside of a dream" dull? That takes effort.

The rules of the totem are that only the dreamer knows the weight, shape and sensation of the totem. It's why Watanabe knew he was being extracted in the intro scene. The spinning top not falling down breaks the only rule of totems established by the god damned narrative which also happened to be the only bit of world building which is appropriately shown before being explained. It pisses me off because it invalidates one of the only good bits of storytelling in the god damned film.

It suffers an issue you see often where fan-theories proliferate to hold up water because people are dissatisfied with how the story played out. Think like the fan theory in Spectre where the last 20 minutes of the movie after Bond receives a lobotomy are a dream because the movie gets so dumb and action movie cliche at that point that it drove audiences out of the film and they needed to create a theory to hold it together. I HATE when a film has that kind of fan culture around it.

Fuck... this right here is actually looping back to the "his films invite the kind of bullshit critique that cinema sins built an empire on" it baits a person to think and attack like this and I hate it. I hate that it does this to me. I hate him for what he put me through at work, I hate his fandom, I hate his approach to film design, I hate his imagination, I hate his apparent misogyny and copaganda and elitism and lack of respect for the industry and swaths of audience.

I just hate Chris Nolan.

We hate him with all our heart.

#dawn asks

18 notes · View notes

thoughts-on-bangtan · 2 years ago

Text

Taehyung's beautiful "Rainy Days" (Song Analysis)

*taps mic* is this thing on?

Well...it's been a while, hasn't it? We've been silent but we are still very much around, still listening to the Tannie's music, watching all the content, still loving vmin and namjin, we watched all streamable D-Day concerts, the Disney+ movies, all of it, we've just basically been keeping our ARMY time to ourselves.

But then came Tae.

But then came Rainy Days. And we were lured back here to scream a little at what we've gotten.

And yes, before the inevitable anons come to try and discredit everything in this post, yes we are aware that (so far) Tae doesn't have any writing credits on the songs on Layover, Love Me Again and Rainy Days. But try as you might, no one can ignore just how vmin coded Rainy Days is and how specific some of the references are. Everyone picked up on it, regardless if they were a vminie, OT7 non-shipper, or even a xkooker. Posts crying about and pointing toward Park Jimin being the one were everywhere and honestly, I've missed moments like there.

So, Rainy Days, huh, let's talk about the vmin references, shall we?

youtube

First of all, can we talk about just how gorgeous and atmospheric Rainy Days is? And how very Taehyung it is? Because it just fits him truly so perfectly, just like Love Me Again does. I love how the soft mellowness of the song contrasts with the brutalistic architecture of the building shown in the MV, the old-school iMac, and the little Pomeranian acting as Yeontan. I did get tricked into thinking it was Yeontan until Tae did his live and told us, nope, that's Rocky, a doggy looking very close to how Yeontan does since he couldn't travel with Tae. We know Yeontan has health issues, so I should've guessed as much, but either way, it is absolutely adorable how much love for Yeontan is in Tae's debut as solo artist. Find you someone that'll love you as much and as deeply as Tae loves Yeontan. I'll wait.

I love the use of the iPhone sounds within the song, the notification tone as well as the typing sound, though it isn't very fitting (it also reminds me of vmin, how they enjoy FaceTiming, texting and calling each other) for someone who was the Samsung Galaxy ambassador ha ha. Wonder what Yoongi had to say about that.

But moving along to the lyrics, as well as two moments from the MV itself, there are a few vmin references that are hard to ignore. And they were "obvious" enough that basically everyone picked up on them.

The first little thing, and this one could very well be a reach, is this Little Prince/Jimin connection. In the MV Tae falls asleep watching TV and we're shown clips of a fox and a flower which immediately made everyone think of the fox and flower from the Little Prince, and then also the moment in the first season of In the Soop when Tae and Hobi went on their little trip and spotted a mural/poster for the Little Prince. Adorable.

Then in the second verse we have Tae singing the following line:

We can start again, open all the doors

The mention of doors made me perk up because it instantly reminded me of this line in Sweet Night:

That I still hope the door is open

So it feels like, if Rainy Days really is a vmin song, it would either play before Sweet Night, or after, when something came between them but Tae wanted a second chance, still had a hope that they could be together and that all things aren't lost yet.

Now this, who do we know basically laughs at anything and everything Tae says, who has mentioned time and again that Tae is the funniest, like in one of the RUN episodes he mentioned how Tae had been making him laugh all day as well's throughout the filming? That's right, our boy Jimin.

Don't believe me? Well, check out this thread and see for yourself.

Next we have the line:

You're my four-leaf clover

Do I really need to explain this one? In a BB or memories DVD, I don't remember exactly, we had a moment when Tae was looking for a four-leafed clover and Jimin, to surprise and make him happy, went and acted as though he'd found one for it (though it wasn't a real four leaf one) which made Tae happy anyway. Years later for their performance of HOME, standing in front of what appeared to be a reference to the Mirror or Erised, we saw vmin wearing matching four-leaf clover necklaces with Tae appearing next to Jimin as though he was what Jimin's heart desired the most.

Then in the MV we have a scene where Tae is in some kind of art room creating. Eventually he picks up a baguette, which points for originality, and uses it to paint a Vante art piece showing a painting that looks like an alien with its little antennas. And who reclaimed the alien "nickname" just a few years and and who is basically the only one who can still call him that? Exactly. Jimin.

Speaking of whom, further in the lyrics we get this line:

Those hurtful words

And sure, perhaps I'm delulu and reaching, whatever, let me have fun, but still that line reminded me of something. FESTA 2020 where Jimin spoke about how he was sorry for the things in the past, how they were buddies back then (I'm still waiting for him to elaborate on that one, they were buddies back then so, Jiminie, what are you now? Care to share?) and got into a lot of disagreements and how he now feels sorry for the harsh words he used with Tae. And Harsh words can very much be hurtful. So another potential reference?

At the end of the day, as I mentioned before, Tae doesn't have writing credits on Rainy Days but, as you just read, those things just fit a little too well to be just a coincidence, right? So perhaps, just like they'd done with Chingu years prior, maybe Tae sat down with the producers/lyricist and told them what he wants in the song?

And that would be it. We're both extremely excited for the rest of Layover, for the next 3 (!!!) MVs, and all the promo Tae mentioned he has planned (based on ideas and things he saw ARMY had mentioned wishing for) and if he'll have writing credits on any of the songs. But it is a little strange to me how Tae has been so outspoken about working on and writing songs for his mixtapes for years, how he'd shown us snippets from his songs, and yet now as we are getting his debut album, no writing credits (so far). Guess we shall wait and see.

#taehyung #vmin #jimin #v layover #v rainy days #lyric analysis #bts v #Youtube

66 notes · View notes

trannyradfem · 7 months ago

Text

I seriously can't fucking believe the people on this website sometimes I swear to fucking GOD ugh.

I was visiting my grandpa in hospice!! grieving... Sometimes, a block is just a block. and not about you.

Like, please! For your own sake, even. Don't take them that personally. There is no shortage of people who disagree with me on this site, and I'm open to discussion, but I don't have the resources to fully entertain discource with every single person I interact with. Especially as this blog surprisingly grows more popular than any blog I've ever had. I did NOT see that coming. It's absolutely nothing personal.

If you're fighty about it, or I see other comments by you-- after I've interacted-- that indicate you're going to be hateful or cruel back at me, then yeah, I probably will block you. And honestly I feel more validated in my block after being shown said person saying "no debate is a TRA tactic" and "TRA trolls infiltrating radblr" when describing what I did. It's dehumanizing, acting like we can't possibly be genuine. So no, I don't want to interact with you. I do not genuinely have the energy for that.

Do the same-- curate your internet experience more, seriously, it has such a positive impact on your online experiences, and in no way waters down your radfem beliefs. sometimes posts and threads are just not worth ur time. And there is genuinely research out there on how the things you view and scroll on social media drastically influence the way you think and feel in very subtle ways that can compound over time. Seeing shit you vehemently disagree with that upsets you to that extent on repeat would have a negative impact on anyone's psyche.

Activism should be much more than just Tumblr anyways, yes?

Anyways. For anyone who's followed me, some venty updates under the cut. Sorry I haven't been around or checking notifications. I keep telling myself that I'm going to check every single one of them because I truly do appreciate the interactions and love talking with y'all, but lately I've been stretched thin and on heavy pain meds most of the time. And it's been months, even years for some of you, and the list just keeps growing longer.

I don't know when I'll get better, and it's scary. I've been sick and getting sicker for a long time now, and a lot of it is indeed from the childhood abuse and what they did to my body. But there's things happening that those factors doesn't explain, and given what I know about how the nervous system works, it might not be a great diagnosis. I love y'all and hope y'all forgive me for not being active on here. If I somehow recover I will be more responsive, promise.

I've become wheelchair bound, I'm out of work on medical leave, and every single day I feel like I'm fucking dying from my back spasms. My docs don't know what's wrong with me and I'm fucking terrified for my life after this election. My friend's parent tried to strangle her and we're trying to move her into our place to get her out of there. I have the equivalent of a full semester of revamped medical coding content to learn before I return to work. I'm not ready to lose Papa.

I have. So fucking much on my plate. I am. so tired. vhhbvghn. and I'm running out of money and my debt is catching up to me. I feel so fucking stupid now for buying a vacation plan back when I was healthier because holy shit I can't even leave the house now. The monthly payments are suffocating being out of work.

I worked so hard to build my credit score I'm so scared to lose everything I've worked so hard for. I want to be a doctor so badly, I'm already a licensed professional!! But you can't get hired as a doctor if your credit score is fucked!!! You can't get housing if your credit score is fucked... If I ever had to go back to homeless sex work I think I'd just kill myself. I don't want that, I'm not a suicidal teen anymore, like. FUCK. I want to do something meaningful with my life, I want to make this world a better place.

Today, after picking my brain on my career and the ideas I have to fix the medical industrial complex, a doctor told me I have more experience (wrt how the medical system works from several different angles) than most DOCTORS have and I was stunned. Like I squealed out a "thank you..!" and just clammed up.

That meant so fucking much to me. I feel like I have so much potential and being disabled and sick is just so fucking frustrating. Like holy fuck I'm on the right track, there are doctors that barely know me who are impressed with the very little I've been able to accomplish. Like, I gotta keep pushing forward, surviving wasn't all for naught. It's a bit of hope for me.

My nerve ablation is coming up soon, I can't wait. It's been 7 long years of that compression fracture bullshit. I'm so ready to be able to stand and exercise again.

4 notes · View notes

yoncevevo · 2 years ago

Text

I just woke up from one of the sweetest dreams I’ve ever had. In it, I saw one of the most lovely women I’ve ever met to date! There was also a portion of the dream where I met a really nice Samoan boy from where I’m from back in Compton. He was cute, funny and very concerned with my well being. It was a really sweet dream, but now I’m left feeling a certain type of way. I’ve recently adopted this mindset that we fight to find things that make our lives make sense because we were born with so many opposites against our natural soul’s rhythm. To explain this further, I believe I was supposed to be born a girl. That doesn’t mean I’m not supposed to be a feminine boy in this life, but I think I would’ve been more comfortable with the attention I get, the feelings I have for the same (opposite in this case) sex and just so much more if I was a girl. I remember at the early age of 4 or 5 when my Mom flat out asked if I wanted to be a girl and I said “yes!” Recent events have shown that she’s never forgotten that day and has even been secretly rooting for me to start transitioning, but that’s not what I meant back then. What I meant at that age wasn’t that I was uncomfortable in the body I was born in and wanted to dress like a girl, what I meant was I wanted to be *respected* like a girl in my daily life. My desire to be treated like a girl was never fueled by self-hate or gender confusion (no matter how the other kids and adults made it seem), but rather the desire to change society’s embedded expectations on gender itself. “If you want to be treated like a girl, look like one!” That’s what I’d expect to hear from someone I’d try explaining this to but even that proves a dangerous point. If I transitioned, that wouldn’t make me a girl, that would make me a boy who got surgery to pass in society as a girl and that within itself says a lot of things that I simply do not stand for. There’s definitely a term in before the stage of trans-ness which in my case, happens to be feminine male. I think this label needs to be respected for what it is because I’ve fought for too long and too loud to be heard with this voice (high, soft AND GIRLY AS FUCK) and strutted too fucking hard in this body to not be respected as a human being (a FEMININE-MALE Human Being) with emotions. In recent years, The World’s outcry to people who *”struggle”* to accept their identity, not because they’re uncomfortable within themselves, but uncomfortable with the parameters society has set to be recognized for what you know in your soul to be your truth.*TO ME*, transitioning will always be code for: go through a bunch of surgeries (excessive pain) to prove to the world why you, a Man, deserves to be recognized as a She in public. Instead of this gender-redefining moment that’s meant to be celebrated while the world secretly covets the fact that it made you confirm something that is already confirmed by the Law of Nature WITHOUT harmful surgery. This is also assuming that the people who would be calling you She believe in all good things for everyone ever which simply is never the case, so the pronouns people call me don’t really matter any fucking way. At my default position, I’m going to be defensive in all matter when it comes to stuff like this because I feel like I’m one of the only ones who can see something like this coming, ONLY because of my personal experiences in life. So I’m always gonna be defensive of my gay children, boys OR girls! Anyway, in closing, gender, sexuality are all personal, private matters that shouldn’t always be in everyday conversation. Especially when the people around you are incapable of receiving what’s on your heart about it because they have never and will never know this everyday battle 😄🙂

#a biiiig vent sesh!#I’m sharing a lot of things that are on my heart so please don’t call me some dumb shit like a transphobe 😑

8 notes · View notes

pixeljade · 2 years ago

Note

Hey, can u tell me about the time you got out of jury with flintstones trivia?

Sure!

But it wasnt jury. It was court-mandated community service! Meaning I had to pick up trash. What happened was, I was in Portland OR, and they had a system for mass transit where you got a ticket when you paid that was good for any rides up to a certain time, unlimited transfers until then! And well...i thought I'd timed it right, but i was off by about ten minutes, and the first and only ticket checker ive ever seen in my life happened to show up then. It was just bad luck, but i ended up being called into court for it, and the punishment was community service.

Anyways, i go to my community service date, along with a crowd of about a dozen other people who fucked up similarly. Well, some fucked up WORSE than others--One guy was part of a gang apparently! But they still just had community service. And our service manager, this old guy who used to be a pro coach shows up, and says we're gonna clean up the pearl district. And thats when things got odd: because the pearl district was recently VERY gentrified, it had like. ZERO trash! So the manager guy says he wants it to be a learning experience despite all that, and his way of doing that?

Teaching us trivia.

Suddenly we're wandering around the pearl district picking up the one (1) cigarette butt per block, answering trivia questions this old coach gives us like its a fuckin game show. It felt pretty silly, honestly, but i felt right at home! My dad was a huge trivia buff, and im deeply autistic, so trivia is just fun for me! I start answering questions nobody else can get, and its getting competitive.

Anyways, a couple hours in, he pulls us aside, and says like. "Look. This is a complete waste of your time, i know it, you know it. And i CAN just sign off on your papers, get you squared away, and you get your afternoon back! But i cant make it too easy." So he gives our squad an ultimatum: we pick one representative, to answer a single trivia question in a topic of their choosing, and if they answer it correctly, we get out of the entire rest of the community service. Just like that! And since my autistic ass was winning the most, the squad chooses me. My topic of choice? Cartoons, of course its fucking cartoons!! So old guy stands there for a hot minute to think up a question. And he clears his throat and goes:

"What is the first ever couple to be shown sharing a bed on television?"

Without skipping a beat, i say back, "Fred and Wilma Flintstone!"*

The guy smiles and asks for our papers, and after a quick round of signatures, we head on our way. A few of the squad actually bought me a couple beers afterward at a nearby bar, because i just saved them a buncha time (apparently some had to come back multiple days but he just signed them all!)

Anyways, i had to report back at the court afterward with my signed document saying i did the community service. And i stand up there in front of the judge, who reads through it and he gets to the name of my manager. And he gives a sly smirk and says "Oh, that old coot. Well, did you answer the questions correctly?" And i proudly say "Yes, your honor!"

And THAT'S the story of how i got out of court-mandated community service because of a trivia question!

* - re: the trivia, the reason men and women werent allowed to share a bed on TV before was because of the Hays Code. Same dumb code which said men couldnt wear womens clothing, or vice-versa, that you hear folks complain about these days. Fred and Wilma weren't considered actual people by the law, though! So they were able to get away with having them show them in a single bed. This actually helped pave the way for future easing of the Hays Code!

#true story #the flintstones

5 notes · View notes

unconditionalcaretaker · 3 months ago

Text

Dream Journal, April 3, 2025

I was preparing to attend an art school at the center of a mall.

My first love was already there. He showed me drawings that I considered masterpieces, bizarre surrealist drawings in ink, of rocks and gravel coalescing into floating heads that were speaking philosophy. He told me that these were the images he saw when he got high alone in the forest. He moved his head and human heads emerged out of the rocks and spoke to him.

I knew then that he was a greater artist than me, and would produce works beyond anything I could ever create.

We walked through hallways and classrooms full of other great artists. Ink drawings hung everywhere. There was an etching room and a printmaking room. My first love called out to people he knew, and they smiled and talked with him, and everywhere I looked, I saw masterpieces. I felt inferior in a way that went beyond mere talent. These people seemed to have more worth than I did. But I accepted my station in life, and resigned myself to work at the task of becoming as good as these people, even if it was impossible.

I was late for class. I went to the staircase at the center of the mall, a dark hardwood staircase with green carpet that spiraled backwards and down, and you had to go down first to access another staircase behind it which went up. I understood then that I would encounter a number of logic puzzles.

On the second floor, I came to my classroom, where I would be taught mathematical logic. The teacher was late too, fortunately, and I settled in next to a girl who told me she was lonely and hoped to make friends. We started talking, and a man in the row in front of us started talking to us as well. But it was obvious he was trying to get a date and we were put off. We eventually moved to avoid him, but he moved along with us.

Eventually the teacher burst in and collapsed across the stage. She had just come in from a flight, and was very stressed. We considered what to do and if we should give her water, but she already had water, and just started delivering the lecture while sprawled on the ground.

I haven't described the classroom itself yet. It was a lecture hall with raised rows of seats, all facing a set of giant screens that resembled picture windows, with art nouveau style columns dividing them. At the back of the classroom, above the seats, there was a long green chalkboard. The screens started to display images of incredible beauty - forests and foggy cities and cemeteries that we zoomed through while she spoke. I was able to fully pay attention and absorb mathematical concepts for the first time in my life, because they corresponded to such beautiful images.

Then the teacher pointed out the chalkboard. We would need to know the coded symbols on the chalkboard to understand our homework throughout the year. It was all provided as an image, an expertly drawn baroque image in chalk, but it was a strange image, fully of little cupids and cats, with ribbons trailing between them. I took out a composition book and noted down information. Dark patches and light patches indicated different things. Cats had a particular meaning - I think they might have each been a unit of information, but I don't remember. Any cupid was a piece of information that was tied to another piece of information, and we had to figure out which corresponded to which, and how. This all felt very doable to me, because it was delivered as imagery.

The last lesson of the day was a sudoku puzzle. We were shown the same puzzle, solved two ways, and we were asked to determine which way was "better." I initially protested that there's no right or wrong way to solve a sudoku - only the solution is right or wrong. But I soon saw what she meant. In one puzzle, numbers had been filled in throughout the puzzle all at once, in a distributed way. In the other, they were filled in such a way as to make certain rows, columns, and boxes fill faster, which meant that solving those areas became easier and gave the user a boost that would allow them to work faster. We determined that the second solution was "better" because it was more efficient. I felt hope for myself as a person.

#dream journal

1 note · View note

lupus-venatici · 8 months ago

Text

profile — voice - overs | story .

this page will be updated and changed as interactions & story progresses , please check back often for updates .

— HELLO .

— pre natlan act v .

forgive me if i am not who you were searching for, but my captain is not currently taking visitors. as such, any message to him may instead be passed through me. i am adonis, advisor to il capitano.

— post natlan act v .

if you simply must know who i am, you may call me adonis. now spare me the pleasantries, there is work to be done.

— CHAT : IDLE .

we should not stay idle for too long, otherwise our position may be discovered. let's move.

— CHAT : COMMANDER .

— pre natlan act v .

the captain has not yet sent another missive . . . troubling.

— post natlan act v .

captain . . . i hope you are resting well.

— CHAT : WORDS TO LIVE BY .

a blade must be tempered and honed before wielded. one must always be refining their skill if they wish to come out on top.

— WHEN IT RAINS .

we should plan our movements carefully. leave no trace.

— AFTER THE RAIN .

come along. we need to move quickly if we are to track the enemy.

— WHEN THUNDER STRIKES .

i have heard tales of this being the shogun's rage. are you angry, too, my lady?

— WHEN IT SNOWS .

how mild. nothing like home.

— IN THE DESERT .

why must you drag me out here?

— GOOD MORNING .

good morning. pick up your blade—training is already underway.

— GOOD AFTERNOON .

lunch is in order. you should take a short rest if you need it.

— GOOD EVENING .

dinner is served. if you wish to go gallivanting about like the rest of the platoon, very well. but do not hold me accountable for your condition in the morning.

— GOOD NIGHT .

rest well. if you require my assistance throughout the night, i am one word away.

— ABOUT ADONIS : STIFF JOINTS .

i am not in as grand condition as i once was, and my strength reflects this. changing sword hands has helped, however i still combat problems with the other. if i could, i would have told my past self what was to come if i were to fail that day.

— ABOUT ADONIS : SCARES .

Friendship Lv. 4 | Complete "Knight's Reminiscence"

i am still . . . incredibly jumpy. when i first returned from that failed mission, i, many a time, held my blade against my captain. i was lucky enough he did not hold it against me, but he made it a point to announce his arrival in some way when he approached. it was quite embarrassing.

— ABOUT US : APPEARANCE .

as an advisor, i have found myself more drawn to a neater appearance. our soldiers are held to the utmost standards, however after a long day, even their appearance cannot be maintained.

— ABOUT US : CLEANLINESS .

Unlocks at Friendship Lv. 6

my captain and his men can settle in the dampest of caves or the filthiest encampments without issue. i hardly see why—or how. call me spoiled by my time residing in the palace, but i refuse to. i think i would much rather find myself on madam sandrone's workbench.

— ABOUT THE VISION .

— pre natlan act v .

i do not wield a delusion, as many soldiers do. my vision is ordinary, but due to the nature of my body, i must force my elemental energy out in higher concentrations. thus the peculiar properties. hm? does it hurt? i hardly see how that matters.

— post natlan act v .

the moral code i used to adhere to no longer applies. to me, the best way to be close to my captain… is to take up the very element he had shown great prowess with. perhaps one day, should he return, i will be at a level rivalling him.

— SOMETHING TO SHARE .

my captain says i am almost like a feline, at times. i suppose that is why i am drawn to them—however that does not excuse the way he has picked me up by the back of my uniform at times.

— INTERESTING THINGS .

trainings for the fatui range wildly dependent on who is in charge of them. the knave prefers to stick with small groups whom she calls her "children," and the damselette specializes in being rather sharp-tongued. when the captain is away, he leaves me in charge—and i attempt to make said trainings as fair as i possibly can.

— ABOUT THE TSARITSA .

on occasion, i have heard tales of her kindness. she has my respect, of course, but i have pondered occasionally if she feels at all. my lady has not been unkind, however, even in the face of both my failure and the change in title i have experienced. for that, i am grateful.

— ABOUT THE JESTER .

in demeanour, he and my captain are eerily similar. i have not spoken with him often, however the few occasions feel icy and uncaring.

— ABOUT THE CAPTAIN .

— pre natlan act v .

my captain is stern, however soft at heart. although he projects an indifferent attitude, he is not entirely unkind. he saved my life, and for that, i am utterly and entirely in his debt. should the time come, i am ready to defend him until death takes me.

— post natlan act v .

his ‘death’ will not be in vain, however the grief felt throughout all of the fatui is paramount. i can only hope that someday, somehow—he may return to us. in the meantime, i will allow myself to mourn in whatever way i see fit.

— ABOUT THE DOCTOR .

i would rather die than speak with him willingly. he is a blatant madman, and i am disgusted by his actions. if i could, i would dispatch him with haste and little regret.

— ABOUT DAMSELETTE .

on the few occasions i have been allowed to hear her sing, it has always been hauntingly beautiful. i could listen to her endlessly.

— ABOUT THE ROOSTER .

i have an indifferent stance for the man, however i have sensed tension towards him before. if i were to advise him, i would tell him to ensure he treads carefully.

— ABOUT MARIONETTE .

i believe i would rather be shattered to pieces than have to face her willingly once more. her passion borders on terrifying, and i have often feared her presence.

— ABOUT THE KNAVE .

i dare not speak her name, and i dare not meet her gaze. she is a fearsome woman, and even i do not believe a mere human could best her in battle.

— ABOUT REGRATOR .

the most i have ever interacted with him is regarding expenses for our soldiers, and i would prefer to keep it that way. he gives off an eerie air about him, one which i am not a fan of.

— ABOUT THE FAIR LADY .

she was a blatant fool for acting out in such a way, throwing away her life so carelessly. however, arrogance breeds stupidity at times, so i suppose it should have been expected eventually. still... i do not enjoy the idea of throwing oneself so recklessly at a task and hoping for success.

— ABOUT CHILDE .

you know, he lives up to his name quite well. i have seen young recruits act similarly, though it is usually tempered as they grow as soldiers. how he remains so rambunctious... truly a mystery.

— ABOUT AZIA .*

oh? the natlanese saurian trainer? yes—she is quite fierce. upon my first meeting with her, she spewed insults at myself for my captain's actions against her archon. however she has seemingly begun to warm up to both my presence and his—an alliance i hope holds strong.

* azia is the character of admin's friend who is not presently on tumblr .

— ABOUT MAVUIKA .

i believe my captain a fool for facing off against her head-on without consulting me first, even if i weren't present. she obviously possesses a great amount of combat prowess, considering the nation she presides over. nevertheless, i hold admiration for anyone that can successfully land a blow against my captain.

— MORE ABOUT ADONIS : I .

i beg your pardon? i see little reason to expose our respective stories to one another, but. . . very well. but i would certainly prefer it if these tales stayed strictly between you and i. you're already learning far too much for my tastes.

— MORE ABOUT ADONIS : II .

i have often been looked at with great fear because of my demeanour. but you. . . you are different. on occasion, i have wondered what has made you so trusting of one such as myself, but i suppose battle brings many kinds of people together. nevertheless, i thank you for your continued companionship.

— MORE ABOUT ADONIS : III .

oftentimes, soldiers assume the use of my vision is painful, for even the strongest of agents cannot seem to handle the temperature of the flames. and, while i am capable of feeling other forms of pain, it does not affect me. it is quite a strange phenomenon, even to myself.

— MORE ABOUT ADONIS : IV .

. . . admittedly, i still have nightmares pertaining to that ambush. one second, all was good, and i allowed the platoon to rest, and the next. . . i despise thinking about it. therefore, i avoid rest wherever possible. it makes the coping process much, much easier. please, do not fret over such a thing. i am fine.

— MORE ABOUT ADONIS : V .

when i was first placed into my position as an advisor, i was brought to stand before the tsaritsa. she must have seen something in me, because she did not look at me with disgust—merely... smiled, and murmured that all would be well in time. she could have had me executed on the spot, and i would have accepted it—and yet, she spared me. i still do not understand why, but it has guided me to be the being that stands before you now. so i suppose i should be thankful for both that ambush, and my lady the tsaritsa.

— RECEIVING A GIFT : I .

wip

— RECEIVING A GIFT : II .

wip

— RECEIVING A GIFT : III .

wip

— FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION : INTRO .

wip

— FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION : BUILDING UP .

wip

— FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION : CLIMAX .

wip

— FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION : CONCLUSION .

wip

#genshin impact rp #genshin impact oc rp #gi oc #genshin rp #lupus venatici

1 note · View note

nabi-unveiled · 2 months ago

Text

Love the spoiler-free insight.

I know that's tricky to do so I greatly appreciate it!

I actually wonder what are your headcanons about why Myungha had such a destructive intimidating reputation of a fighter before :]

After I'm done with my watch, I'll try to pull together any remaining head canons I have for this show and put them in a post.

I'm just going to go ahead and put my cut here since I'll be responding back to a lot of your points.

Episode names are related to missions! In direct and non-direct way^^ 발전 means improvement, progress, development but not "gamedev" specifically, game development would be 개발.

So my first thought and interpretation of it was right. Lol. Good to know. It worked both ways really, but I always enjoy added language context. Language is so complex, and it really is beautiful.

I actually don't remember the scene of hopping the wall well because I never noticed how Myungha actually had a cast(?) on his left leg.

As far as I remember, you don't see the cast in the wall scene. That's why I was inferring. Actually, I don't think I EVER noticed a cast. Putting him in a cast would make sense though. It would be a good reminder for the actor as far as movement goes. Most of the shots in the show don't include their feet which is why I tend to notice it when their feet are shown. Now I'm curious if I just missed a shot of the cast somewhere.

Minsu (Sangwon's actor) would keep talking to director even right after they finish script reading, and he'd write a lot of in-depth analyse notes about his character

The work is noticeable. It's always apparent when an actor really understands their character.

The "disease" in Korean is used in casual speech a lot. I'm not sure why were you looking for a different translation, but it's something like 'illness, being sick'. Any obsessive trait can be a 'disease/illness'.

Good to know. I got the general idea of what it meant, and that it's a playful jab in the shows where I've heard it. It's just not a word that would ever be used that way where I'm from. It would carry a pretty negative connotation crossing the line from roast to actual insult. I'll have to think about if there's an equivalent around here. Most of the terms I'm coming up with are either too mild or not playful enough. I haven't come up with anything that carries the exact same energy.

[Very random offtop: I also love roasting/teasing humor (with no negative feelings) with my friends, and I grew up in such companies - with all engineers and IT people in school and uni who love a good intellectual or worplay or simply witty jab, it was so joyful to bicker and everyone knew it wasn't serious - but then I reunited with my best friend since elementary school who went to study humanitarian and philologyin uni. And I'm not trying to stereotype guys vs girls or tech vs culture, btw - she said her uni classmates were full of vicious sarcastic subtext or roasting each other and it felt like bullying. So for a couple of years we constantly hurt each other because our ways of communicating meant very different things, it took some adjusting. Which is a life lesson but also - I definitely feel you wanting more of this fun bickering energy in your life!]

Also off topic (so skip if you are here only for LFLS): I totally understand this. It is indeed a life lesson. I've had to learn who I can spar with (a fun few) and who I can't (most). Some consider it mean. My husband considers it disrespectful. My brother and me just implemented code words. If he calls me a jerk, I know to immediately back off. We also have a code "greeting" that he uses to signal it's not a day to play at all.

That's the fun part! This show is actually saying a lot on the level under the surface, and you can trust a lot of things that slowly get connected

It is indeed the fun part. I made a note that it hadn't "said" it, because I tend to put general disclaimers on a lot of my interpretations. Particularly, if I'm not breaking down ALL the evidence of why I made that claim. Saying "you can trust it" is a nice thought. That's not always true.

I'm just saying if you want to guess something based on reactions – you should stop doubting yourself because there are almost no random choices or sloppy editing/acting decisions

Same as above -> I don't trust a lot of shows so that's good to know. Many shows don't pay careful attention to their details/editing. I just got burned by the editing in a different one. Rather than "doubt", I'd say that I normally leave room that I may be wrong. Lol. Call it the scientist in me. Sometimes it's that I actually have multiple hypotheses running through my brain. But often it's just that there should always be room to change your mind if new evidence comes into play. That said, I do doubt myself when it comes to hearing/sound. That's just knowing my own limitations.

Feel free to go wild with theories and interpretations! I love how you're already doing that.

I have a major clown car theory about the water sound at this point, but I'll save that for my episode 5 post.

I would actually love seeing other people's affection of me above their heads

Upon reflection, I've firmly landed in the camp of "I don't want to know". Ignorance is bliss and all that.

Taevin said he thought a lot what should character feel and express, finally seeing Affection level going from 0 to 1.

This just makes me happy.

Yes, the guys were talking about Myungha 'leaning' on them or help holding him so he doesn't put more strain on his hurt leg. Hold him up? I wonder what'd be the best alternative in English.

As someone who has been in a leg cast and on crutches more times than I care to remember (10? 11?), most people around me just said "help" or "support". Or they would ask "do you want to lean on me?" That probably varies by region or country though.

I know of different symbolism for butterflies so it was interesting to see your side of knowledge!

There are a lot of different meanings for butterflies for sure. I went with the one that was most relevant to me personally, but as the show progresses I could end up pulling a different one if it makes more sense.

There was also a flower in this Senior & Myungha in a Bar location at the very first episode, not sure if it's seen now, but it also had a nice meaning

Yeah, the cornflower. I noticed it during episode 1. It has a lot of different meanings depending on the culture. They're also known as bachelor's button. But they can mean love, hope, remembrance, future, eligibility to marry....the list could go on. Again, there's a lot of references for them.

leader B.I gave a speech and said "The word happiness is too vague, so I hope you guys feel like it is worth living every day".

LOVE THAT!

I didn't actually notice video game sound in the scene with Kyunghoon!

There's a certain sequence of sounds in the soundtrack I'm referencing when I say that in a reaction. I'm going to be trying to pay attention and take note of them in the future.

Like you'd say to a kid who's making great great promises and really insisting they'd get you a moon for your next birthday. Which can be seen as condescending but I don't read it at that level at all, there's no malice in his words or gesture that could make Yeowoon feel bad or offended - in my view.

This is a *me* problem. Not the show's problem. Lol. I didn't think there was malice or that Yeowoon felt bad/offended. It just confuses me. Similar to the hug in the earlier episode.

only Joonkyung is looking at his blondie brother in a worry. He does seem like he was an actual friend of Sangwon

I rely a lot on experience or connections with other media to try and understand people (even in real life). That type of interaction is just far outside anything I've ever experienced.

I do think those two are friends. I may have to think on Sangwon's relationship to the gang a bit more.

I kinda love that we didn't get 'Oh.' moment but instead got the badass unapologetic confession

I'll take unapologetic confession every time. After the shared meal, that might have been my favorite moment of the episode.

(why does it always take me a couple of hours to write my own comments on your comments lol? I'm sorry)

I appreciate you taking the time. I greatly enjoy reading the response and all of the added information. It actually takes me a good bit of time to make the initial post too. I type fast, but not THAT fast.

in the very first take he totally forgot to cover his mouth and just kept staring in Yeowoon's eyes like 🥺

I think I'd stare too. Kabedon moments get me every time.

Sea or Mountains?" is a very popular 'personality division' question in Korea

It's a pretty popular question here too. Not so much for "personality" division, but it comes up pretty often in social situations and as a conversation starter.

Myungha does always wear black shirt under his school uniform

I have a theory about this one now too, but I'll save it for the episode 5 reaction.

As always, I appreciate your time and the insight! So much fun ✨!

Catching Up: Love for Love's Sake (Ep 4)

Other Reacts: Ep 1 Ep 2 Ep 3

Yes, it's 3:15 in the morning. Yes, I have to work tomorrow. No, I can't even sleep in because I have to interview a potential intern at 9 am. Plus, the kids will be home with me too since it's a school holiday. I don't care. I'm starting episode 4 anyways.

And yay! We've went back to the fight. I was hoping we would find out more about what happened.

Is this a new way for them to do the subtitle for "debuff/curse". I guess that's fine so that people who don't understand gaming get it. It feels a little late in the game for that though. Still, I loved this screenshot, because you can see the transition that's a bit gamified. And the purple aura energy is showing up on Yeowoon's arm.

We didn't have any debuffs last episode so I guess the debuff really does relate to affection of Myungha and not Yeowoon's personal affection. Fine. I'll exit my clown car theory about the debuffs....for now. Outside of my clown car, it makes sense that the debuff would show up now since Myungha's affection level just plummeted.

Myungha absorbs the debuff. Yeowoon is left in shock. He definitely is feeling rejected/slighted at this point.

Myungha is dragging Sangwon through the halls. Sangwon says "I'm not a kid." I'd be careful Sangwon. That line of thinking means he can hit you. I know Myungha knows how to fight, but I do wonder more and more every episode about "why" he fought. I'm already developing a lot of head canons on that score. Maybe we'll find out eventually though.

He's not going to hit him (not that I thought he ACTUALLY would anyways), because we now have a ringing sound. I'm guessing the debuff is having an effect. He absorbed all the bad purple energy, and it was STRONG this time base on his -99. Was the -99 in red last episode? If not, it should've been. Sorry, random thought.

Myungha falls down the stairs.

I've given up on the episode names being strictly related to missions. The gamer in me though is going to retranslate this as "progress". That feels better in gamification terms. Especially if it's talking about progress in the mission quest. I obviously have no clue whether that is right. Wait. Unless they're talking about aspects of the game being "in development" like new code/levels being written or the story being redeveloped/changed. Hmm. That actually feels likely. We'll stick with development.

KYUNGHOON! You're back. I missed you so much. I'm guessing they're having to skip class to go to the competition. Apparently, Myungha has hurt his leg. Kyunghoon struggles to get over the wall. Based on how Myungha hopped the wall, I'm guessing it's the right leg that's hurt. But Myungha's leg obviously wasn't THAT badly hurt. It didn't look like he tried to favor one leg more in the landing. Guess that could depend on the type of injury though. My perspective is probably skewed. I've dislocated kneecaps more times than I wish to recount. I definitely wouldn't have made it over the wall shortly after one of those times. My personality is such though that I'd have doubled down and probably hurt myself more while trying. Lol.

Sangwon is waiting on the other side of the wall. I loved his "hi". Kyunghoon asks if he was waiting. Myungha says it's a "disease". It works, but I wonder if there is a different translation of that word. They've used it several times. It was also used in a very similar way during Secret Relationships ("being nosy is a disease").

Sangwon says he was just late to school. It's coincidence that they met up. I love that he's somewhat "talking back" to Myungha. But I also have a very sarcastic/roast style sense of humor. These types of exchanges always make my day. I wish I had more of that energy in my life.

Kyunghoon asks about the shoes, and Sangwon realizes that he had made a mistake. I didn't mention it last episode as the post was already getting really long. But my guess is that Sangwon was upset about the shoes, because he thought that his mom gave them to Yeowoon. His mom had just been to the school after all, and it appears like they have a complicated relationship. I'm guessing there's a lack of affection there too based on Sangwon's reactions to Myungha's signs of care. This is all conjecture on my part. The show isn't really SAYING any of this at the moment.

But now he knows the shoes weren't from his mom. It's okay Sangwon. I made several bad calls in the last episode too. Sangwon decides to follow.

And just like that, we have a gaming party embarking on a quest.

Our trio notices that Yeowoon is standing instead of taking his place on the blocks. Is he wearing the blue shoes? It looks like it. Myungha is still outside of the love supremacy zone, but he yells Yeowoon's name. I'm taking note that his number is 251 just in case it pops back up at some point. I loved the sound effect as the camera circled around and Yeowoon realized his name was being called.

Yeowoon is recalculating his affection, and the number starts moving up fast. Lol. This feels very much like love indeed. Highs and lows and emotional turbulence. Some might say that's the fickle nature of teenage affection. I'd say that doesn't ever really change. But maybe that's just the nature of my personal relationship talking. Maybe it'd help if we had affection scores above our head so we'd both know when we screwed up. On second thought, I don't think I'd want to know my score. That feels like a recipe for disaster.

Yeowoon takes his place at the blocks with magic sparkles coming off of his blue shoes. The affection level keeps rising.

If this wasn't a "game", the new shoes would be disastrous in a competition. But as I've thought about it, I actually like that this feels like an equipment upgrade in a game. Higher tier equipment immediately leads to better outcomes in a game assuming you have the skills to use it.

The music reminds me of late 90s/early 2000s movies. I kind of love it since we're panning across Sangwon and Kyunghoon's faces, and it feels like a friend montage moment out of one of those types of "high school" movies. Ah nostalgia.

Affection level is back at 0. The subtitles say Yeowoon is second, but I'm guessing he's actually third. They announced two other names before him.

Yep, he's third place based on the next part of the dialogue. Myungha says he did well. Yeowoon is crying, but Myungha definitely doesn't understand the reason. Yeowoon is trying to figure out why Myungha is nice to him.

Poor boy is definitely dealing with romantic feelings now. I'm loving the romance driven emotional angst of it all. This is my cup of tea.

The coach interrupts. Yeowoon is still emotional, but Myungha says he'll wait. They can eat together afterwards. Yes, please do. I'm always going to be down for a shared meal.

Yay! Our whole crew is EATING together! And Yeowoon is smiling.

Yeowoon tells Myungha to eat too and gives him food. OMG - our affection level has crossed the zero threshold. We're now at 5. And it keeps climbing as he keeps giving Myungha food. Lol. Kyunghoon tells Myungha to eat slowly and Sangwon's face is priceless! He seems absolutely disgusted by Yeowoon's actions. We end on an affection level of 17 for now.

Sangwon and Yeowoon are bickering. I love it. so. much. Frenemy relationships are the best. I'm looking forward to seeing how this develops moving forward.

For those that like talks about linguistics, they said a bit about honorifics too. If I followed it correctly, Sangwon used more casual speech with Myungha and Yeowoon didn't like it. I could be mistaken though. Myungha really is the exasperated parent here. Lol. Cutie Kyunghoon helps Myungha out. He is worried that Yeowoon's feet might hurt since he ran with new shoes.

Yeowoon says he's fine, but he asks what happened to Myungha's leg.

🤣 This pout had me dying. For the game aspect, it really is like now that his "affection level" has went up, it's unlocked all kinds of new dialogue/expression options.

I wonder if Myungha realizes that his leg getting hurt was due to the purple energy. He's a smart cookie. I bet he's figured that out.

This whole scene just put me in a good mood.

Yeowoon offers to help "hold" Myungha. I'm betting there's a better translation of that. Kyunghoon used the term earlier too. I bet it has to do with letting Myungha lean on him or something like that rather than "hold" as I typically interpret. Myungha says he fine.

Yeowoon wants Myungha to rely on him too. This is a tricky situation. Yeowoon wants them to be EQUALS, but Myungha is definitely going to struggle with that. Myungha has taken on a caretaker role, and while those things aren't mutually exclusive, it can make things complex.

Yeowoon asks how Myungha knows his (shoe) size. Myungha says he let the fan (sis) pick it out, and that she wants to meet Yeowoon. Yeowoon doesn't seem happy about Myungha hanging out with her often, but he agrees to meet up with Si-a.

Yeowoon has essentially walked Myungha home. He tells him thank you which Myungha teases him about. But he says it again and leaves.

The entry light starts flickering and there are some jarring sounds. Ominous music plays, and Myungha's head is hurting.

OOOOOOH. It WAS development like "game in development". Exciting.

We're back at the bar from episode 1. Senior is asking Myungha questions.

I first noticed the three butterflies in the corner of the paper. It shouldn't be a surprise given my blog name that I'm likely to notice butterflies. They're a symbol of transformation and personal growth. Actually, they have different stages of development just like a game. A butterfly's development requires they insulate themselves from the world and focus on changing themselves before they can emerge in their final form. I don't know whether that has anything to do with this show or not though.

But these questions are interesting. Yes, I used my phone to translate. Though it kept giving slightly different translations depending on the angle I held it, I think I got the gist of it. One of the things says "like minded friends" which was what the quest said in episode 2. If I remember correctly, that was in Myungha's hand writing. So is senior having Myung-ha essentially write the game levels? I had said in an earlier episode that this was really a quest for Myungha's own happiness as well.

It WAS his writing. I love this shot. It feels like a magic dungeon with the candles and lighting. The shape of the glass is nice. I think it's a glencairn whiskey glass. Actually no. The base is wrong. It doesn't matter. The glass itself is probably not symbolic. I just find certain types of glassware pretty. As a fun side note, I used to drink everything (soda, milk, etc.) out of a red wine glass that I got while dumpster diving in college. I loved that beautiful glass. My roommate eventually broke it "on accident", but said it was "probably for the best" so that people didn't think I was drinking alcohol. Fun times 🙄.

It's late/early. I'm rambling. *Focus brain*

Senior is in white as the "heavenly" being with the power. Am I supposed to trust him? I don't. But it feels like he's God/angel coded.

"Will there be happiness to 29 year old Tae Myungha?"

"So the standard is very important." says Senior.

Myungha doesn't hear him clearly, and we can't hear his next line clearly either. He's muffled as if he's under water. It's the same sound as when he first entered the game world.

This feels important, and it feels mistranslated. Or at least like it was translated without the needed nuance. I need to pause anyways. I'm tired enough that I know I'll miss details if I keep going tonight.

(pause)

Ok. I've slept a few hours and hung out with the kids for a bit. I've mulled it over. I'm guessing that senior is really meaning that Myungha needs to be very careful about what goals/words he's using. Happy is a pretty vague term. I actually walked down the aisle to a song called "Different Kinds of Happy" from the movie Sweet Land. The idea/theme in that movie is that happiness can take different forms and mean different things to different people. In a game, if you don't have a clearly defined objective, then it's going to be difficult to meet it. So what does Myungha actually mean by "happy"?

But Myungha "can't hear" what senior is telling him. Myungha, and us by extension, are missing a critical piece of information. I'm guessing it has to do with the standard/clearer objective or that it's a warning of some kind.

We're back in the video game world. Myungha is looking at his notes.

AND OMG - YES! HOORAY! A time jump/alternate world that GETS how problematic it is for a 29 year old to be suddenly back in high school. The dialogue is clearly establishing that he IS 19 in this world. It's how I had resolved it mentally myself in episode 2. I love it when my head canons become actual canon.

Anyways, it's a good question. What CAN he do? Because "making someone happy" on a identity level scale really isn't easy. I would argue that it's not actually possible. That they have to strive for their own happiness as they accept themselves. It's not just circumstances that's driving Yeowoon's mental disdain for himself. New shoes are great, but they're not a long term solution. When you're dealing with suicidal ideation the other person has to "want" to live. A lot of times they don't even realize it until the moment. Yeah, it wasn't my grandfather's first attempt before he succeeded. My brother's neither. So far my brother has always decided he wanted to live and sought help in time.

I love that Myungha is being smart about this. He goes "What does he WANT me to do?" If you're playing a game, that's an important question. It's anticipating the game maker's design. I am noticing that the butterfly is on the journal paper here. But it's only one this time, and it's in the top right corner instead of the bottom corner.

Now THAT'S interesting. He doesn't remember "senior". There are a lot of fun implications in this development, but I'll have to stop for now. It looks like my husband has got off of work early today. It's a national holiday. I should've expected it. This will have to wait until after everyone is asleep tonight. I didn't get very far in this session, but it's fine. I really should've been working/writing anyways. I have five scripts due in the next two weeks.

(pause)

Well...the emoji tag game happened, and I got a wee bit carried away with it. I loved it so much. But then my brain was broke so it's taken a few days to get back here.

The fact that Myungha doesn't remember "senior" from his real life is a cool detail. I had said I thought it was in odd in episode 1 that he wasn't weirded out by the situation. It could mean that ONLY senior is obscured. Or it could mean that the facts of his "future" will slowly disappear as he creates a new story leaving him only with the 19 year old version of Myungha. There are a few other possibilities too, but I'll go with those two for now. I actually like the latter one in some ways. I don't remember if he recalled senior once he entered the video game during episode 1. That would provide evidence for which possible interpretations to keep moving forward. I might have to go back and check that out.

Regardless, we know this memory was jarring. The question is what triggered the memory.

We're down to 288 days left to complete our mission so a good bit of time has passed, and we're reminded that death is the penalty. We still don't know whose death we're talking about though.

We cut to Kyunghoon and Myungha walking down the hall together. Myungha is complaining that the teacher treats him like a thug. Kyunghoon proposes that they go to college together, drink together and have fun together in the future. I love the video game sound effects in the music/soundtrack.

OH! Random thought. I wonder if those sound effects show up at critical/specific moments. Is this like the rain drops in When It Rains or just a fun part of the soundtrack? Sound analysis is tricky for me, but it can add a lot to a show. And I LOVE it when sound is used symbolically. That would require an entire rewatch though as I'd have to focus just on the sound. I'll try to make note of it moving forward though to see if I can find a pattern. I can't promise I'll catch it every time though.

Hold up. We HAVE had a sound. The freaking water. I said before that it sounded like water when Myungha is shifting between worlds. That's definitely a specific sound at critical moments. Is that significant? Is it even water? Stop brain. You know your hearing can't be trusted. Move on.

Myungha is obviously uncomfortable here. Probably because he knows that he doesn't have that kind of time. He was just reminded of the countdown. It could also be because he didn't have that kind of life in the past. I don't know if he has those resources in the current videogame timeline either. Money isn't an obstacle for Kyunghoon. But it will be for Myungha and Yeowoon. But I figure it's that he feels like he's lying to Kyunghoon by agreeing to a future that may not exist. Yeowoon has already called him a liar after all.

Ah, the bullies are circling for blood. Frizzy blond guy asks Myungha if he's gay and is obviously intimidating Kyunghoon. Myungha says "I'm gay. So what." That's the confidence of someone who is very comfortable with themselves. I wonder if he was always that way, or if this is a manifestation of him already working through that part of his identity in the "real world".

Cutie Kyunghoon steps in between to protect Myungha 🙌🙌🙌. This is VERY important. Why? Because it's a dynamic shift. Myungha is collecting people in his life that care about him too and who will stand up for him even if it's risky. He's gathering "like minded friends" as well.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Myungha kisses the bully.

Should I be laughing? Probably not. This is a forced kiss. But AM I laughing? 100% yes. And all of the bully gang not knowing how to respond is epic.

Blond guy is rightfully angry, and Myungha just scolds him for swearing. What I love about this interaction is that it quickly and decidedly shifted who was the "victim" in this interaction.

Blond guy - Tak ...Joonho? It'll eventually stick with me. Anyways, he punches Myungha and we see Myungha deftly assert his dominance. He threatens to kiss him again.

This is the second interaction where Myungha has really shown this guy to be pretty pathetic. As he seems to be a leader in this "gang", he's probably not going to react to this well. He wouldn't be able to keep power over his bully gang if he ignored things like this. I'd expect backlash soon. He'll either take it out on his own members or start targeting people Myungha cares about (Yeowoon, Kyunghoon). Potentially both. If he comes after Myungha himself, it will be sneaky style. He can't (or shouldn't) risk another direct confrontation like this one. He's already lost twice.

Teacher intervenes. Apparently Myungha has got some type of cleaning duty punishment.

Yeowoon is on the other side of the window being cleaned. I'm trying to figure out if Yeowoon had heard about the fight or he just noticed Myungha's busted lip. Either way, his expressions here are KILLING me. They are so earnest and so different than what we had in previous episodes. The rise in affection level has definitely had an impact.

Myungha tries to brush it off, but Yeowoon won't let him. "Who hit you?" Myungha tells him he doesn't need to know.

Yeowoon gets very serious. Just like that earlier interaction with Kyunghoon, this is actually very important. Yeowoon is asking to be seen as an equal. As someone that Myungha can rely on. He's asking Myungha to trust him. Ooh interesting. Yeowoon dropped honorifics.

Yeowoon drags Myungha to the nurse's office. It's a reverse of care. Yeowoon taking care of Myungha. I mean, technically Yeowoon had intervened before. However, this is DIRECT care. Yeowoon asks if he's really not going to tell him. Myungha responds "What would you do if you knew?". Yeowoon - "I'll kill him". 🥹 Yes, I'm taking the threat as a squee worthy moment. There was no hesitation. Just a direct assertion of "you matter to me that much".

Myungha rubs his head.

I'm going to have to think about this one. Why is this man's physical affection so hard for me to interpret? This feels like a parent/child interaction to me. Which...is possible. Is he in guardian mode? Trying to calm Yeowoon down while acknowledging that he's grateful for Yeowoon caring about him? Or do other people see this as just a friendly interaction? Because things would not end well if my friend rubbed my head and used that tone with me. I'd see it as condescending for sure. But cultural differences could be in play here. I'm going with guardian mode.

Myungha says that rather than hit, it's more like we kissed. And Yeowoon's reaction is amazing.

Myungha is flustered by Yeowoon's reaction. Yeowoon has to be cycling through all kinds of feelings. One - this gives him hope. Two - Myungha was kissing someone besides him.

So many thoughts running through this boy's mind.

He says he should ask Tak Joonho. That means he DOES know who was involved, but he wanted Myungha to confide in him on his own. "Can men kiss too?" "I want to kiss him" while staring at Myungha's lips and putting on the ointment. Baby boy is down bad.

We cut to Sangwon coming towards the bully gang. There's the "hi" again. Love it. But it does feel like he's out of the loop. It feels more like he's invading their space. @dropthedemiurge I see what you meant now. He's not part of the hierarchy of this group. The uniforms vs. plain shirt is visually depicting that as well. That does make me have some questions about the earlier rooftop scene, but I'll hold them for now.

Did he come because he had heard about the fight? Or is this just part of his routine? He does seem to do whatever he wants. Case in point - he didn't come to class just because he didn't want to. Skipping seems to be a regular occurrence for him.

Tak Joonho says that he's going to teach Myungha/Kyunghoon a lesson. Sangwon is trying to put the pieces together. I do find it odd that Joonho is openly admitting that Myungha kissed him. I would've expected him to threaten the others and keep that quiet. Unless he's expecting Sangwon to commiserate with him and understand.

Not happening though. Sangwon is clearly on Myungha's side in this one. I figure he knows Tak Joonho enough to know he instigated whatever happened. The chuckling of the other students as Sangwon pushes back has got to raise Joonho's ire.

Tak Joonho thinks Sangwon is teasing him, but he's actually angry.

I'm rewording this line a little bit in my head to fit better with that sassy head tilt that just made me so happy. In some ways, it's a lot like Myungha earlier. "Yes. I am. What are you going to do about it?" It's a statement and a challenge.

Unlike Myungha, Sangwon does punch Joonho and IMMEDIATELY puts his hands back in his pockets. LMAO. That's a dominance signal right there. He knows Joonho isn't going to immediately punch back. He doesn't see him as a threat.

Joonho says he's holding back because he's rich. Sure you are. Keep telling yourself that. Kyunghoon seems to be pretty rich too, and you tease him just fine.

Note - I do realize that they've said that Sangwon can get away with everything due to his family. I'm sure it does play some role. But it's not everything. Sangwon is exuding dominance in this situation. He's even leaning in a mock little bow and saying "thank you" in a snarky tone. God, I love him and his self-confidence. He has grown on me so much, and I'm only halfway through this show.

Joonho asks if he can't see that he's outnumbered.

Sangwon (in other words): Bring it.

I'm sorry. I've tried to ignore that hideous wall color this entire show, but now we've added what has to be one of the ugliest arrangements known to mankind in front of it. I'm sure there are people who like that kind of thing, but it just makes me wonder why someone thought a feather duster was appealing. Normally I would be trying to figure out if the red meant something, but I just can't. It's an eyesore.

Is Si-a considered part of our gaming party now. I'm not sure. 🤔 They're collectively worrying about Sangwon though.

Si-a asks if Myungha wants to be a model for Swoony (the brand). The pay is better after all. Pay is always an enticing thing.

Myungha tells Si-a to buy him dinner. I'm confused. Why does he want Si-a to buy him dinner? 🤔 Myungha doesn't do things without a purpose. What's the catch?

LMAO. It's because Yeowoon is here. He's giving her the fangirl moment. Yes, she better buy the meal. A good one too.

Wait. Her name has an "h" sound? The subtitles now say "Shi-a". Did I miss that before? No. I'm pretty sure that's a change in subtitles.

Yeowoon looks ticked. My guess is that he thought he was going to get to eat with Myungha alone. He wouldn't be reacting like this if he had known it'd be a fangirl moment. Yeowoon is being very terse. Yes, he seems to be a more introverted, private person. But this is what you do when you're thrown for a loop. Myungha, you really need to give us introverts a heads up for these types of situations. Especially true if you gave us false expectations and now expect us to socialize with someone we are not comfortable around.

I'm still bitter over there being no food at the company meal that I drove two hours to yesterday. Don't promise me food and then give me a non-alcoholic beer instead. Shared meals are sacred. Oh...it's probably this kind of stuff that prompted the anon's "what's with you and food" question the other day. I get it now. Sorry anon. I didn't understand what you were asking.

I'm squirreling. None of that's really relevant. Yeowoon is just upset because he expected alone time with Myungha (pretty sure on that one), and he isn't getting it.

This conversation is awkward. Si-a signals Myungha to please help. Myungha asks Yeowoon if he has any questions. "Are you two close?" I've said all along that I love how direct Yeowoon is with Myungha. If he has questions, he is going to ask them. It's admirable, but lol. He's not looking at Si-a at all. Yeowoon is grilling Myungha.

Myungha responds playfully and tries to direct the conversation back to Si-a. I actually see that as a way of trying to include her in the conversation. He was trying to create a fan moment for her after all. Si-a says they're just colleagues which Yeowoon smiles about. But then Myungha protests that designation.

Yeowoon didn't like that at all. 🤣 "Are you closer to her than you are to me?" I love that Si-a can see this is important to Yeowoon. She's giving Myungha this look that's like "You idiot. Don't you dare make my blorbo upset!"

Myungha says "I only have Yeowoon in my heart" which makes Yeowoon beam. Si-a takes the opportunity to ask for an autograph. Si-a, I know I struggled with you in earlier episodes. I'm sorry. I can respect your non-toxic, supportive fangirl side.

"What do you think of when you run?" "I imagine there's a big crocodile chasing me." Well...that would be motivation I guess. I never imagined what was behind me when I ran. I was always focused on the finish line. Different things for different people I guess.

Ok Yeowoon. Let's not manifest that energy. There are too many trucks of doom in dramaland. And I've had two of my family members hit by vehicles. They survived, but they still have side effects. My brother got hit by a car while he was INSIDE a building.

Anyways, Yeowoon is saying that the vision has changed. He now imagines that someone is waiting for him at the finish line.

Sweet. I wish I knew what his personal affection was at this point though. We're seeing the impact of Myungha's affection level changing in his mannerisms and dialogue, but has it impacted how he sees himself?

Si-a says that's romantic, and Myungha breaks eye contact and visibly shifts. Lol. He felt that one.

We cut to them walking home. Yeowoon tries to ask Myungha about Joonho again, but Myungha says that Yeowoon isn't allowed to say kiss.

We got confirmation that Yeowoon thought it was going to be the two of them. Myungha chastises him a bit saying he needs friends. That's really not the point Myungha.

Yeowoon said that he's annoyed. Myungha says "he's been rude lately". Did he drop honorifics?

Yeowoon says "I want to go play with you". My kinky brain takes that line a completely different way that intended. But he's asking him out really. I LOVE this frame. There's a blinding light of love, but it's mostly over Yeowoon. Yeowoon knows he wants to kiss Myungha. He knows he wants to spend time with Myungha 1-1. Myungha still hasn't come to that realization yet.

It's an amusement park near the sea. Myungha seems hesitant, but he says yes. Wasn't Myungha's mom near the sea? I wonder if that's part of his hesitation. Yeah, there's definitely something there. This means something more to Myungha for some reason. But he's agreeing anyway.

Well hello. 👀 She's pretty. She was hidden initially in the frame, but they've now exposed her as she's asking Si-a for help. Who is she? Is this the person returned from abroad that Kyunghoon mentioned?

We're now in a dream sequence. 100%. "Do it with me too. The kiss."

Based on the game interface, this is Myungha's dream. Fun. Realization is coming. It's a bit of a kabedon moment with the tree. I'm enjoying it, because as confident as Myungha was when he kissed Joonho, he's not confident at all here. He's flustered.

Myungha wakes up.

Yeowoon has been sending him messages. Apparently he woke up early. If you get messages from me at 4 am, it means I haven't went to bed yet. Not unusual.

Myungha has a message from an unknown number. It's referencing children's day, mother's day, and teacher's day. Myungha isn't sure who it's from though. My immediate guess is his mom. But that doesn't make sense. He hasn't had contact with his mom since he was really little.

Is it the heavenly senior? We know information about the game comes to Myungha through his phone. "But no time for me to meet you." It's reminding me of the poem I wrote for my grandfather following his suicide. It wasn't about holidays/time, but about hiking trails. That was our thing. "But no trail that brings me to you." Crap. I'm crying again. This has been a week of tears in BL land. For the record, I cry very little in real life. But I bawl like a baby watching shows. It's cathartic in some ways. I can't analyze this properly. I'm going to read things into this that aren't there. I'm sure this will become a reoccurring event. I'll wait until the next message to figure it out.

Yeowoon came to pick Myungha up, and it looks like he paid for the bus fare for both of them. Cutie. Myungha may not realize it, but Yeowoon is definitely taking him on a date.

The mural next to the bus is of the sea. I could get a better angle this time. Phone keeps translating different based on angle, but it's better than last time. Something about sacred and beautiful love. Something about a lighthouse.

I love that Yeowoon quickly says "Look at the seagulls". There were birds on the mural too. Seagulls are a trip down memory lane for me. I got handed a bone during my oral qualification exams and asked what I could tell the professors about it. It was a seagull bone.

Seagulls have so many different symbolic meanings depending on culture. I know there are a few different takes in literature. There are also a lot of different meanings for them in Native American lore. Some positive, some negative. It depends on the tribe. A lot of it has to do with their ability to navigate in a storm and overcome obstacles if I remember correctly. There might have been something about the connection between physical and spiritual realms which would be interesting given the premise of this show. Like a bridge or messenger between the two. I don't know what they typically means in S. Korea though. I'll dive into that later.

Yeowoon says he should've brought shrimp chips. They're not my favorite, but my sous chef loves shrimp chips.

Oh. We're feeding them to the seagulls? I mean, they'll eat it. It's a fun experience for the human. It probably doesn't give them the nutrients they need.

Myungha asks if Yeowoon likes the sea. Yeowoon says he likes the mountains more. I love them both, but I live closer to the mountains. I've asked my kids this question before. One chose sea. One chose mountains. One chose "Wherever Uncle Zach is". Yeah, I'm not the only one who thinks my brother is awesome.

They're planning to climb mountains. Yeowoon wants to climb "Kongryung". Based on Myungha's reaction, that must be a hard climb. Based on Yeowoon's reaction, I'm guessing it's a long one. "I'm happy to be with you." Myungha doesn't seem sure how to process that.

Yeowoon asks if Myungha has been here before.

This feels like a lie. It's going to be interesting if lying becomes a thing for Myungha. Well-intentioned lies. But lies nonetheless. It might not be a lie though. That's just my gut talking.

They're planning on going to a clam kal-guksu place. I enjoy noodle soups, but I've never had clams in any capacity. They're not very common here. I have dissected one and done an experiment on heart rate for a class though. Not important.

Apparently, Yeowoon doesn't like seafood. And Myungha slips up. He's using information from the manuscript. Yeowoon is rightfully perplexed and then amused that Myungha knows this about him.

"Sometimes it feels like you're someone that knows me."

Yeah, that's probably going to hurt when he realizes Myungha has known about him all along.

All of Yeowoon's little smiles are killing me this episode.

Yeowoon says he now understands why Myungha likes the sea. Did Myungha say he liked the sea? I don't remember that. 🤔 It could be in an earlier episode, or I could have overlooked it. If he likes the sea though - is that why we have a water sound? Yes, I'm still stuck there. My brain is still obsessing over a sound that probably isn't even what I think it is. I curse my brain sometimes.

Yeowoon says "I've come to like it too". Cut away to them sitting on the stairs in their coordinating blue/green shirts.

There is so much I could say about that closing frame, but I know that I'm out of images. Anyways, we're halfway up the stairs. We're building the relationship. We're sitting side by side. We're equal...in this moment at least. There's no railings on this part. It'd be easy to fall off the sides.

The blue/green combo I find interesting, because it's a shift. These two characters have worn a lot of black & white. What does the shift mean? Is it part of their relationship developing or the changing levels of affection?

Is this show even color coded? I'll have to think about that. Because Sangwon also wears a white undershirt. He's definitely not a "heavenly human" type. Wait...is Myungha the ONLY one wearing a different color undershirt as part of their uniform? Is he the only one in black? I guess that makes senses. He's from a "different" world after all. But why black? Actually, Yeowoon's running outfit was in black too when he had the -100 value. So Myungha isn't the only one in black. Nevermind. I was overthinking again.

This was a fun episode. I'm loving that Yeowoon is so open and direct with his feelings. Myungha isn't there yet, but he's beginning to react. Now I just need to convince my brain that it's 4 am and it needs to just let the water sound go. IS IT WATER?!?

Don't tell me. Because if it is water, that means it's important. And if it's not water, I'll eventually realize it wasn't important.

For now, I'll just distract my brain with a more pressing question - what happened to Sangwon?

#reblogging to respond #thank you so much for the insight!#i will hopefully get time for episode 5 in the next few days #love for love's sake #live reaction #and then expanded #lfls

46 notes · View notes

thunderwept · 3 years ago

Text

@sunforms said: ♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz.

i have, which let me tell you, it’s never a pretty feeling when it happens. i’ve been around for a while now, & while i’m no where near as active as i used to be, i had some fairly popular blogs. those holding characters belonging to two, in my opinion, of the most notorious fandoms.

i’ve had people steal my headcanons for characters like: dick grayson, tony stark, yuffie kisaragai, midna & more under the premise that they were “repurposing” them. now, i’m not a very confrontational person, & i myself, had never believed in “callout” posts. so back then, i had tried to settle things civilly between the other muns. but it accelerated to a point where i couldn’t condone the disrespect anymore. so much so that i opted to remove my head canons from the aforementioned blogs all together. it was truly that mindset of “they can’t take what isn’t published.” i still have reservations about posting my meta now, & i do so seldomly. it’s something that i’m working on now, forcing myself to publish more of my meta instead of just keeping it to myself, or my friends when we get into talking the meat of our characters.

i’ve also had my graphics stolen, & my html/css coding from my blogs. this has gotten better over the years, as after a couple of years, i had created a dump blog under the guise of a “resource” blog & would just direct the people who had lifted my icons ( i’ve always had a particular border or psd on them, so, it was fairly obvious ) to this blog & asked them to use those instead. the code smuggling itself was a little more frustrating. i mean, there’s a reason why the majority of my code is in a different language now. but , in truth, i think anyone who makes graphics, themes, or dabbles in html, css, or script has had something lifted from them at one point. which, is a shame, because as someone who is self taught, i’ve always found myself going to people who are more experienced than me to ask them how the language should sit & read to achieve what i was going for & for the most part, those people where always more than willing to show me.

#・ﾟ𝐎𝐎𝐂 ❛ ━━ asks #・ﾟ𝐎𝐎𝐂 ❛ ━━ your resident gremlin #sunforms #imo i owe a great deal of my knowledge of coding to my friend peachy #who had shown my how to code back in our ani days #she gave my the foundations #and i've appreciated her for it.#but instead of stealing something from someone #just ask :/#that's all i'm saying

1 note · View note

ghoulie-67-baby · 2 years ago

Text

Overtired- Criminal Minds.

Summary: Penelope is working a case in the early hours and you can’t sleep without your girlfriend by your side.

Prompts: ‘C’mere, you can sit in my lap until I’m done working.’

Warnings: fluff, Penelope being a top tier Girlfriend, Domsub (depending on your mindset), medication mentions, little angsty.

Pairing: Penelope Garcia x GN!reader.

Word count: 859.

A yawn ripped from my throat as I tossed and turned in bed. I shivered, missing Penelope's warmth in our bed, and if fed out a heavy sigh. She had been dragged out of bed because of a case and though I knew it was incredibly important, it still irritated me.

Warm light spread from the living room alongside hushed voices. I knew I wouldn't sleep until they all left so I swung my legs from the covers and slipped on my slippers. JJ had bought them for my birthday, they had cupcakes on them because that was my nickname for Henry. Yanking my gown off a hanger, I wandered towards the light. For moments, nobody noticed me standing there in my pyjamas, dressing gown hanging loosely over my shoulders.

"Hey babydoll," Derek greeted me as he spotted me, smiling softly, using the nickname that matched Penelope's. "We didn't wake you did we?" I shook my head, stepping into a hug as he held out his arms to me.

"It's okay, haven't been sleeping great anyway." I buried my head in his shoulder as I stifled a yawn.

"It's nice to see you Y/N," Pulling out f the hug, I grinned at my girlfriend's boss. "Sorry about the timing."

"You too Hotch, pretty bad case, huh?" I wandered towards the kitchen to grab some water, seeing a brief, serious nod. I could feel the irritation and lack of sleep beginning to make me antsy as I watched the team working. My eyes rested on Penelope who was sucked into her screen, working as quickly as she could despite the bags under her eyes.

"Not to sound rude but how long is this going to take?" My eyes flickered to the clock that read two thirty in the morning. Emily snickered at the question as I yawned again. I wasn't bothered about my own sleep at the moment but Penelope needed rest too and she hadn't been sleeping great either.

"Impossible to say," Rossi gave me a sympathetic smile from his seat in the armchair. My shoulders deflated at the statement, my over-tiredness starting to take over. I always got emotional when I was tired.

"You okay, Peach?" My girl looked at me with concerned eyes, patting the arm of the sofa in invitation. I shuffled over, sinking onto the arm and staring at the non-sensical codes on the screen.

"M'just tired Penny," I shrugged it off. "I'll be fine."

"Have you tried any herbal remedies? Valerian root is supposed to be good for sleep troubles alongside menopause and anxiety." My lip twitched in amusement as Spencer spoke. "A study has shown that taking five hundred and thirty milligrams of Valerian every night for thirty days has had a significant improvement in sleep quality, latency and duration compared to a placebo in people who had undergone heart surgery."

"It doesn't work, and if you're insinuating I'm going through menopause then I suggest you hold your tongue, Doctor." I teased, smiling slightly as he ducked his head in embarrassment.

"Have you had your meds, Peach?" Penelope murmured whilst she worked. "They'll help you sleep."

"No, I haven't and I won't." My voice was colder than I had intended but Melatonin never reacted well with me. "I'd rather not sleep at all than put up with nightmares thank you." Her hand lifted to rest on my thigh, squeezing it comfortingly.

"Babydoll, we've spoken about this." Derek's voice was laced with concern but firm. I didn't hold back my glare as the burning in my throat started up again from holding back tears.

"I don't care." I sounded pathetic like a child being scolded by a parent.

"Y/N that's enough," The hand on my thigh tightened in a warning and I tangled my fingers in my lap as I held back tears.

"You want me to come and sit with you whilst Penelope works, Honey?" JJ's offer was sweet but I didn't want to leave Penny's side. Shaking my head, I sunk into myself a little, looking down at my girlfriend with blurred eyes.

Placing her laptop on the table, she shifted her stuff around before looking back up at me. Hotch shuffled where he stood like he was expecting her to kick them out.

"C'mere Peach," she motioned for me to get off the arm of the sofa. "You can sit in my lap until I'm done working." I sluggishly climbed onto her lap, legs straddling hers as I leaned against her chest. I'd forgotten all about the team watching us as I buried my head into her neck and relaxed into the embrace and warmth. I didn't care that they'd witnessed the whole thing, didn't care about any opinion they formed or their reaction. I didn't care because I was warm and comfortable, the sound of keys tapping and muttering fading into the background as I found myself lulled into a state of half-sleep by her gentle breathing and occasional kiss to the top of my head.

The mix of all those stimulants had me drifting for a while before my body finally succumbed to sleep, giving up fighting the exhaustion.

#criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #penelope garcia #criminal minds fanfiction #penelope garcia x reader

162 notes · View notes

phoenixyfriend · 4 years ago

Text

In Which Palpatine Leaves the Door Open

So, @purronronner suggested this on discord:

au where anakin finds out about palpatine during clone wars era like, coming in for a visit and overhears a conversation with Dooku about war planning he’s been pulled between palpatine and the Jedi/obi-wan/various things but I want to see him pulled between palpatine and his men could go either way on the sith part of the reveal even

palpatine is not aware! unless anakin’s course of action is to go “hey palpatine I must have misunderstood something right? :(“

(This was a group effort but there's a thing I wrote that requires this context so please bear with me.)

I'm just imagining Anakin backing out, closing the door, and turning to the Corrie Guard by the door to say a thing... and not finding words.

Eventually "Did you guys know he was evil?" "He's a politician, sir." "But like the evil ranting..." "He's a politician. Sir."

He's willing to use his men to save R2, but that's because R2 was part of the team and helping, not arranging battles to make things worse.

Anakin: Normally, I'd go to Palpatine to talk about my problems, but right now he is the problem... Obi-Wan and Yoda are off-planet.... Anakin, phoning up Padme: Help?

Per @atagotiak we also have some Intense Thoughts

Oh hey. The deception arc. And the subsequent argument that we don't see and stuff. Like there's all the ways you could justify it especially from an opsec standpoint (If Anakin acts like that around Padme why would anyone assume he can keep a secret about anything?) And it was a pretty tactically important thing for the war as far as anyone knew. But just. I've heard some people say that perhaps also Obi-Wan reasoned that hurting Anakin is an ok price to pay to make sure someone Anakin cares for doesn't die for real which seems plausible enough.

Anyways. My point is. Anakin gets a front row seat to sheevception when he actually sorta knows whats going on. Gets sidetracked halfway through yelling and stuff to think about how convoluted this whole mess is.

For more clone-centric things all the times Palpatine's like "I wish I could do more, it's truly regrettable, but..." Would just seem awfully fake now.

Anakin, belatedly: Wait, does this mean that, behind all the layers of bullshit, Palpatine was the one trying to kill Padme at the start of the war???

WHICH IS WHAT LEADS TO A WHOLE LOT OF FUN and yes this is the part I'm sort of proud of.

Okay so: Anakin's a shit liar, yes?

After he meanders over to Padme and has a breakdown, he then goes off to tell the Council about all this. I imagine she goes with him as moral support, and also because she wants to protect him from them calling him out on his legitimately terrible decisions. They're trying to come up with a plan to take Palpatine down without tipping their hands too early, because they need to investigate; for the sake of this plot point, we'll say that Palpatine mentioned a contingency plan while talking to Dooku, even if he didn't directly name the chips.

Someone mentions that Palpatine is going to ask to see Anakin, because he does regularly. And, as experience has shown, there is very little that will stop Palpatine from insisting that Anakin come see him. They can stall for a bit, maybe, but not for long.

"You could send me to the other side of the galaxy," Anakin suggests. "Short notice, so sorry, won't be around for a bit."

They point out that won't work forever.

"So... arrest me, or put me on a mental health hold?" Anakin tries. "Say I got violent at civilians or the clones for no reason and you need to make sure I won't hurt him, and then even if he visits me in the cell, I don't have to act normal 'cause he'll EXPECT me to be upset."

Palpatine presumably has spies all over, so he'd know that hadn't actually happened. Also, Anakin's too important to the war effort for anything short of a cold-blooded murder of an innocent, and they can't just take him off the field without an absolutely massive violation of the Code or his orders.

"Tell him I Fell," Anakin offers.

A Sith Lord would be able to feel that from across the galaxy, if it had happened, especially with the amount of time that he's put into grooming Anakin.

"Oh," Anakin says, and his stomach drops out as he realizes that he can either keep his secrets, or keep people alive.

He thinks about how Palpatine had targeted Padme already, and how if Palpatine thinks Anakin's betrayed him, then he'll probably do that again.

He thinks about 'a Sith Lord would know' and realizes... well.

Anakin values his freedom, but he also values his men, his padawan, his master, his wife... the wife that's in danger if Palpatine knows that Anakin caught him out.

The Order has to keep Anakin away from Palpatine. They need an excuse to arrest him. They need an excuse to hide him away, one that Palpatine won't question too hard.

A Sith Lord would know if Anakin fell. Even if he came back afterwards.

"So... so tell him you found out about the Tusken Massacre."

The what.

"...tell him you found out about the time I actually did Fall," Anakin says, squeezing Padme's hand. She knows. She's the only one who knows, on Coruscant, other than the Sith they're hunting. "On... on Tatooine. You can claim it was an anonymous tip. He already knows about that one. He's one of the only two people outside Tatooine that do. He might not question it."

(He won't question it.)

What did you do, Skywalker.

"I killed... a lot of people. A Tusken tribe. Including the children. Right before the war hit."

----

It's a hell of a way to fall on his figurative sword.

(Mace is... both impressed that Anakin would take the hit to make sure they can handle the Palpatine problem, and horrified about the Massacre, because... who wouldn't be.)

(Mace is unfortunately Anakin's main handler on this project.)

Anakin puts in so much effort, all the time, into not Falling, so it’s surprisingly (terrifyingly!) easy for him to fake a 'near miss' with the Dark just by thinking really hard about things that make him angry. Nobody wants him actually Falling for the ploy if they can help it, but they need to sell the bit, and Anakin's... well. He's Anakin. It's easy to think about his own emotional volatility until any control goes out the window.

He's sacrificing a lot for this mission! It's fine! He's fine!

(Padme, the council is judging you so hard right now.)

Palpatine comes to visit Anakin in prison, and it is very easy for Anakin to disguise his anger as... a different anger. I have a very intense mental image of Anakin working himself up into a frenzy when Palpatine comes to visit, and then at some point in the following conversation he just snaps something about how "you said they were animals who deserved to die."

The Council can even eke it out a bit, make it so they don't want to admit why Anakin's in prison or under a psychiatric hold or whatever they claim it is, so their "I'm hiding something vibes" look like "I'm hiding the fact that one of our most recognizable war heroes just came clean as a mass murderer and we have no idea how to handle it" instead of "I'm hiding that we know you're a Sith Lord and are working to take you down."

Obi-Wan comes back from an off-world mission to find out that Mace arrested his former padawan and Ahsoka hasn't stopped crying for three days because nobody will tell her what's going on.

(The Council decided this couldn't be risked on even an encrypted comm.)

(They maybe tell him soon enough? But also they might treat it like the Hardeen thing and use his reaction as fuel to keep Palpatine convinced.)

SKYGUY GOT ARRESTED AND NOBODY'S EXPLAINING WHY.

Rex is overwhelmed because it's been his job to keep her calm.

Anyway, padawanship has been temporarily transferred to the grandmaster. You were half-training her anyway.

Insert a subplot about Obi-Wan being horrified and betrayed and aiming the feeling at Padme because she knew about the Tuskens and never told.

#Anakin Skywalker #Sheev Palpatine #Obi Wan Kenobi #Padme Amidala #Mace Windu #star wars #the clone wars #Tusken Massacre #Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Phoenix Posts

1K notes · View notes

felassan · 5 years ago

Text

Dragon Age development insights and highlights from Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

Some really tasty factoids here.

Cut for length.

Dragon Age: Origins

The continent of Thedas was at one point going to be named Pelledia, a name initially floated by James Ohlen

“Qunari” was a temporary name that ended up unintentionally sticking, much like “Thedas”

Mary Kirby wrote the Landsmeet. To this day, nobody understands how it works, except possibly her. If she’s “really really drunk” she can explain how it works. There’s as many words in it as Sten’s entire conversations put together

Concept art for Thedosian art - as in in-world art - draws heavily on Renaissance-era portraiture, the Art Nouveau movement, religious styles and media like stained glass, and favorite pieces from the golden age of illustrations in the early 20th century

Andrastianism in-world (art-wise) is depicted in wildly different methods depending on who in-world made the art in question. “One religion, 3 different lenses”. There’s the Chantry take, the Orlesian take and the Fereldan take; each with its own different interpretations, different mediums and different stories

The stained glass images were drawn by Nick Thornborrow for DAI, to decorate religious spaces in that game “and beyond”

irl Viking art influenced Ferelden

Greek and Italian art influenced Orlais

The book also had other insights into and anecdotes from the development of DAO, but I’ve transcribed them recently as they’re essentially the stories DG has recently been relating on the awesome Summerfall Studios DAO playthrough Twitch streams. (On those streams he provides dev commentary while Liam Esler plays through DA. The ones with DG are currently once every two weeks. Check them out! Here’s a calendar where you can check when the next one is) Instead of repeating myself I’ll just provide the link to the first transcript. From there you can navigate to the subsequent parts. Note these streams are ongoing. At this point I will also point you to a related post which is cliff notes of the Dragon Age chapter in Jason Schreier’s book Blood Sweat and Pixels.

Dragon Age II

DAO had the longest development period in BioWare history. In contrast DA2 had the shortest

Initially DA2 was going to be an expansion to DAO. A few months in EA said “Yeah, expansions like these don’t sell very well, so let’s make it a sequel.” So it suddenly became DA2 and they had to make it even bigger, although they still only had 1.5 years of time in which to do this

Production of DA2 officially lasted only 9 months, and at the time the team was still supporting live content for DAO! They finished development that January after the design team crunched all the way through the holiday period that year. Then it went to cert 9 times

The limited time they had is why the story takes place mostly in and around 1 city, and over 7 years (so it was temporal, rather than over physical distance, because a more expansive world would have taken more irl time to make)

They had no time to review even the main plot. Mike Laidlaw pitched the idea of 3 stories taking place at different points in the PC’s life, tied together by Varric’s recollections of events. DG rolled with this and made 1 presentation on the idea. This presentation was then approved and off they went

As they were writing DG realized that there was going to be no oversight and that everything was going to be a ‘first draft’. “Because nobody had time.” He sat down with the writers and said “Look, here’s the conditions we’re working under. A lot of what we’re putting out is gonna be raw. We’re not going to get the editing we need. We’re not going to get the kind of iteration we need. So I’m going to trust you all to do your best work.”

Looking back, DG has mixed feelings on DA2. “A lot of corners were cut. The public perception was that it was smaller than DAO. That’s a sin on its own.”

Despite this he thinks DA2 has some of the best writing in the series, especially character-wise. The DA2 chars are his favorite

The pace with which production progressed may in some ways have helped. “When we do a lot of revision, we often file away [as in buff off] some of the good writing as well. Somehow DA2′s whirlwind process resulted in some really good writing”

The pace meant chars landed on the writers in various stages of completion. For example Isabela was fairly defined due to appearing in DAO. In contrast Varric at the start was just that single piece of widely-shown concept art

Varric was conceived as a storyteller not a fighter. His skills are talking and bullshitting. Hence the question became, so what does this guy do in combat? The direction was to make him as different as possible to Oghren, so not a warrior. He couldn’t be a dual-wielding rogue in order to differentiate him from Bela. But you can’t really picture this guy with a bow. “For a dwarf, it would probably be a crossbow. We didn’t have crossbows, or we only had crossbows for the darkspawn. And they were part of the models. We didn’t have a separate crossbow that was equip-able by the chars. They had to like, crop one off a darkspawn and remodel it. And that became Bianca” (quote: Mary Kirby)

“Dwarven mages are exceedingly rare.” [???]

If DAO was a classic fantasy painting, DA2 was a screenshot from a Kurosawa film or a northern Renaissance painting. (Here Matt Rhodes was commenting on art style)

John Epler: “In any one of our games, there’s a 95% chance that if you turn the camera away from what it’s looking at, you’ll see all kinds of janky stuff. The moment we know the camera is no longer facing someone, we no longer care what happens to them. We will teleport people around. We will jump people around. We will literally have someone walk off screen and then we will shift them 1000 meters down, because we’re fixing some bug.” John also talked about this camera stuff in a recent charity Twitch stream for Gamers For Groceries. There’s a writeup of that stream here

Designing Kirkwall pushed concept artists to the limits of visual storytelling, because it has a long history that they wanted to be present. It was once the hub of Tevinter’s slave empire, so it needed to look brutal and harsh, but it also then needed to feel reclaimed, evolved, and with elements of contemporary Free Marches culture

The initial plan was for DA titles to be distinguished by subtitles not numbers, so that each experience could stand on its own rather than feel like a sequel or continuation. (My note: New PCs in each entry make sense then when you consider this and other factoids we know like how DA is the story of the world not of any one PC). Later, DA2′s name was made DA2 in a bid to more clearly connect the game to its predecessor. For DAI they returned to the original naming convention. (My note: so I’d reckon they’d be continuing the subtitle naming convention for DA4)

DA2 was initially code-named “Nug Storm”, strictly internally

The Cancelled DA2 Expansion - Exalted March

This was a precursor to DAI

It was meant to bridge the gap between DA2 and DAI

It focused on the fallout from Kirkwall’s explosion, with Cory serving as the villain

Meredith’s red lyrium statue was basically going to infest Kirkwall and it would end up [with what would end up] the red templars taking over Kirkwall and essentially being Cory’s army

To stop him Hawke would have recruited various factions, including Bela’s Felicisima Armada and the Qunari at Estwatch, forcing Hawke to split loyalties and risk relationships in the process

It was meant to bring DA2′s story to an end and end in Varric’s death. DG was very happy with this because all of DA2 is Varric’s tale. The expansion was supposed to start at the moment Cassandra’s interrogation of him ended in the present. “And we finished off the story with Varric having this heroic death.” It tied things up and would have broken many fan hearts, something BioWare writers notoriously enjoy. But between a transition to the new Frostbite engine and the scope of DAI, the decision was made to cancel EM, work any hard-to-lose concepts into DAI, and in the process save Varric’s life. DG has talked about the Varric dying thing before

Concept art for EM explored new areas previously not depicted in the DA universe, with costumes that reflected next steps for familiar chars. Varric was going to war, what would he have worn? With Anders, if he survived DA2, the plan was to present a redeemed Warden

A char that vaguely resembled Sera in DAI was first concepted for EM. This fact was mentioned near this concept art (see the female elf) and this concept art of Bethany with the blond bob

The writers sketched out plans to end it with Hawke having the option to marry their LI. This included alternate ceremonies for party members like Bethany and Sebastian if the player opted not to wed. There was even a wedding dress made for Hawke. This asset made it into DAI (Sera and Cullen’s weddings in Trespasser). The dress can also be seen in DAI during an ambient NPC wedding after completing a chain of war table missions

The destruction of a Chantry was explored in concept art as it might have happened in EM. This idea ended up carrying over to the beginning of DAI. (My note: Lol, the idea that DA2 could have had 2 Chantries being destroyed in it 😆)

World of Thedas

Sheryl Chee and Mary Kirby started with “a disgusting little dish called fluffy mackerel pudding”. In the middle of DAO’s busy dev period one of them (they can’t remember who) found a recipe online for this, scanned in from a 70s cookbook. “I don’t understand why it was fluffy. Why would you want fluffy mackerel pudding?” MK says. “We loved it so much we included it in a DAO codex.”

This led them to create more food for Thedas, full recipes included, like a Fereldan turnip and barley stew from MK and SC’s Starkhaven fish and egg pie. The fish pie became Sebastian’s favorite. “To me it made sense for it to be fish pie because a lot of the Free Marches are on the coast”, SC says, “It was something that was popular in medieval times, so I thought, let’s make a fish pie! I looked at medieval recipes and I concocted a fish pie which I fed to my partner, and he was like ‘This is not terrible’”

For WoT the whole studio was asked to contribute family recipes which might have a place in Thedas. SC adapted these to fit in one Thedosian culture or another, including a beloved banana bread that localization producer Melanie Fleming would regularly bake to keep the DA team motivated. “Melanie’s banana bread got us through Inquisition”

DAI

It says part of DAI takes place in or near the border with Nevarra [???]

This game was aimed to be bigger than DA2 and even DAO in every conceivable way

The first hour had to do a lot of heavy lifting, tying together the events of DAO and DA2 while introducing a new PC, new followers etc in the aftermath of the big attack. DG rewrote it 7 times then Lukas Kristjanson did 2 more passes

DG: “Our problem is always that our endings are so important, but we leave them to last, when we have no time. I kept pushing on DAI: ‘Can we work on the ending now? Can we work on the ending now? Can we do it early on?’ Because I knew exactly what it was going to be. But despite the fact that it kept getting scheduled, whenever the schedule started falling behind, it kept getting pushed back... so, of course, it got left til last again.”

“The reveal of the story’s real antagonist, Solas, a follower until the end, when he betrayed the player”. “Solas’ story remains a main thread in Inquisition’s long-awaited follow-up” [these aren’t DG quotes, just bits of general text]

Over the course of development they had 8 full-time writers and 4 editors working on it. Other writers joined later to help wrangle what ended up being close to 1 million words of dialogue and unspoken text. While many teams moved to a more open concept style of work for DAI, the writers remained tucked away in their own room, a choice DG says was necessary, given how much they talked. All the talking had a purpose ofc as if someone hit a bump or wall in their writing they would open the problem up to the room

As writing on a project like DAI progresses, the writers grow punchier and weirder things make it into the game. This is especially the case towards the end of a project (they get tired, burned out)

Banter and codexes require less ‘buy-in’ (DG has talked about this concept a few times on the Twitch streams) from other designers. DG liked to leave banter for last as a reward because it was fun. Banter begins as lists of topics for 2 followers to discuss. These may progress over time or be one off exchanges. One banter script can balloon to well over 10k words. “The banter was always huge because we were always like, laughing, and really at that point, our fields of fucks were rather barren, so we would just do whatever”

The bog unicorn happened pretty much by accident. It was designed by Matt Rhodes and was one of his fav things to design. They needed horse variations and he had already designed an undead variant which was a bog mummy [bog body]. irl these are preserved in a much different way to traditional mummies. When someone dies in a bog their skin turns black and raisin-like. The examples we know of tend to have bright red hair for whatever reason. It’s a very striking look and MR wanted to do a horse version of this as he thought it’d be neat. 5 mins before the review meeting for it he had a big ‘Aha!’ moment, quickly looked up a rusty old Viking sword, and photoshopped it through its skull like that was how it died. “And I was like, ‘I just made a unicorn. Alright, in it goes!’” It got approved. “So we built the thing. It fit. It told a little story”

With the irl Inquisition longsword, one of the objects they tested its cleaving ability on was a plush version of Leliana’s nug Schmooples

The concept art team explored a wide variety of visuals for the Inquisitor’s signature mark. It needed to look powerful and raw but couldn’t look like a horrific wound. In some cases, as cool as the idea looked on paper, they just weren’t technically feasible, especially as they had to be able to fit on any number of different bodies

Bug report: “Endlessly spawning mounts! At one point during development, Inquisitors could summon a new horse every time they whistled, allowing them to amass a near infinite number of eager steeds that faithfully followed them across Thedas. “You could go charging across levels and they’d all gallop behind you,” Jen Cheverie says, “It was beautiful.” Trotting into town became an epic horse siege as a tidal wave of mounts enveloped the streets. Jen called it her Army of Ponies”

The giants came from DA Week, an internal period when devs can pursue different individual creative projects that in some way benefit DA. They also had a board game from one of these that they were going to put in but they didn’t have time. It’s referenced though. It was dwarven chess

Josie’s outfit is made of gold silk and patterned velvet, with leather at her waist. She carries “an ornate ledger” and she has “an ornamented collar sitting around her neck, finished by a brilliant red ruby, like a drop of Antivan wine in a sunbeam”

Iron Bull’s armor is leather. His loose pantaloons and leather boots give him agility to charge

On DAI in particular, concept artists took special care to make sure costumes would be realistic, at least in a practical ‘this obeys the laws of physics and textiles’ sense. “While on Inquisition, we thought about cosplay from a concept art perspective. Given how incredible a lot of [cosplays] are, I now am not worried about them. In fact in some cases in the future I want to throw them curveballs like, ‘All right, you clever bastards. Let’s see if you can do this!’”

2 geese that nested on the office building and had chicks were named Ganders and Arishonk (it wasn’t known who was the mom or the dad). Other possible names were Carver Honke, Bethany Honke, Urdnot Pecks, Quackwall, Cassandra Pentagoose, the Iron Bill, Shepbird, Garroose, Admiral Quackett, Scout Honking, HChick-47 and Darth Malgoose

Bug report: “The surprising adventures of Ser Noodles!” DAI was the first time the series had a mount feature, meaning this had a lot of bugs. A lot of the teams’ favorite bugs were to do with the mounts. There was a period of time where the Inquisitor’s horse seemed to lose all bone and muscle in its legs. They had a week or so where all quadruped legs were broken. It was a bit noticeable in things like nugs and other small beasties but the horse was insanely obvious. “The first time we summoned the horse [for this] and started running around, the entire QA exploration room just exploded with laughter.” Its legs flapped around like cooked fettucine, leading testers to lovingly nickname it Ser Noodles. At galloping speeds the legs almost looked like helicopter blades, especially when footage was set to classic pieces such as Wagner’s Flight of the Valkyries

For DAI the artists were asked questions like “What would Morrigan wear to a formal ball? Can Cassandra pull off a jaunty hat?”

On DAI storyboarding became the norm. John Epler: “Cinematic design for the longest time was the Wild West. It was ‘here’s a bunch of content, now do it however you want’, which resulted in some successes and some failures.” Storyboarding gave designers a consistent visual blueprint based on ideas from designers, writers and concept artists

Quote from a storyboard by Nick Thornborrow (the Inquisitor going into the party at the end of basegame sequence): “Until Corypheus revealed himself they could not see the single hand behind the chaos. A magister and a darkspawn combined. The ultimate evil. So evil. Eviler than puppy-killers and egg farts combined.”

A general note on concept art:

In the early stages of any project, before the concept artists are aware of any writing, they like to just draw what they think cool story moments could be. It’s not unusual for the team to then be inspired by these and fold them into the game as the project progresses

– From Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

3K notes · View notes