#who i believe used to do michael jackson impersonating when he was a kid

[sugaggukkie]

my initial thought from the vibe music video: the dance moves were very michael jackson and the beat was very bruno mars

[anxious-band-pan]

A list of random crackheadery from high school cause I low key miss it

“I’m gonna yeet myself into the afterlife”

“I’m gonna rotisserie cook your future children and eat them”

“KARMA’S A B*TCH!” Yelled while playing a game of uno in homeroom very loudly

a kid walked around our lunchroom with a fake blue bird pinned in his hair which was life size and honestly the weirdest part of lunch

“What should i put on my shirt for (x club)? It’s between uwu, Space Boi uwu, and rawr XD. My goal is to be as cringey as possible.”

*crying* “Well you just threw off my groove and i-“

(To the tune of G-6) “I’m a dumb bish, I’m a dumb bish”

“(X name)! How far would you have been if i didn’t stop you to tell you you’re a thot”. “Probably yeeted off a bridge by now”

“He just looks like a sad pigeon with a boss hat”

(To the tune of celebrate good times) “end my suffering, come on!”

“My hands are white!” “YOU’RE WHITE!”

“I’m a firm believer in don’t judge something unless you try it, unless it’s illegal or drugs; don’t do drugs kids”

“.....but not all dogs can fit on skateboards!”

“Can we just cut my legs off and sell them”

“Invade my body, daddy bacteria”

“That’s what I imagine it would sound like if a spider ran in tap shoes”

“My church had an average attendance of 421 this year, we were so freaking close”

“Did you know that Waluigi has the same number of syllables as hallelujah, so if you think of any song with hallelujah in it you can replace it with Waluigi and it’ll fit”

“Anyone wanna feel my swollen gland”

“Your gay is like your mother’s tendency to sleep with men: plentiful”

“If being gay is a sin is satan the gay fairy”

“Vines are like actual vines: you get stuck and you never get out” “vines can choke you though” “Yes choke me daddy vine”

“You are each gonna have a burger component on your back” “I wanna be the meat ;)”

“Grab me however you want daddy hamburger”

*showing a paper with a picture of a bottom bun* “I guess you could say I’m a.... bottom”

“STOP EATING THE DUCT TAPE!”

“Shut up, don’t talk about my potatoes like that”

“Can you snort tide pods”

*whisper screaming and hitting a chair* “WHY IS COTTON EYED JOE BACK”

“But if two furries screw, is god cool with that?”

“PHD- pretty high dolphins”

“Do crocs have memory foam? i think not”

“I’ve run out of creative ways to whip”

“This is why we shouldn’t legalize weed, because we’re having this conversation sober”

“Don’t you just get sad every time a chair dies”

“Praise our lord and savior, Magic Mike”

“I’ll give you fifty bucks if you can guess what’s in my thermos.” “Coffee.” “No. It’s chicken noodle soup”

“I’m gonna eat your fingernails” “did you say EAT” “yeah, I’m gonna chew his fingernails off”

“I already went back to Mexico”

“You’re the BFG” “How so” “Big Frickin Gay”

“But since you’re gay, would you date me if i was” “the only way I’d date you is if you were an online catfish”

“We have a speaker with fake arms today” “he cant bring those in the school those are weapons” “how is he gonna throw them?” “With his feet”

“did you say the THOT police?” “no you idiot the THOUGHT police”

“I’m not scared of Russia. Like honestly i can beat them”

“I share a brian with satan and it smells shirty” (not a typo. Those exact words. I think it was making fun of a typo)

“I look like I’m about to go repaint all my mugs with lead paint”

“And today on the game show of sentences i never thought I’d have to say: it’s not a necklace if you buy it in the pet aisle of walmart”

“You look like the kind of person who would cut spaghetti with dull scissors”

“Hey, hey, hey, not in my f***ing Christian Minecraft server”

“We’re all going to hell” “Not me” “listen we’re in a school we’re already there” “True”

*to the tune of “what is love? Baby don’t hurt me”* “POKÉMON! BABY DON’T HURT ME, DON’T HURT ME, NO MORE”

“YO! PITBULL JUST CAME IN AND OFFERED DONUTS!”

“I’m gonna suck your eyeballs”

“Are we not allowed to have our nails painted since we’re guys” -a definite female, to another definite female

“Ok, so here’s the deal: straight people are uncooked spaghetti. Gay people are cooked rotini. I’m kinda like a cooked spaghetti. I’m not straight, I’m in between.” “The Italian is now interested I’m here what’s up with pasta”

“This song reminds me of Mexican food” “How does this remind you of Mexican food it’s jazz?”

“You’re not allowed to switch schools, I need my twin cop”

“You guys are the reason I wanna die” “you guys are the reason I drink”

*taking a huge drink of peanut butter hot chocolate* “I’m allergic to peanut butter” “THEN WHY DID YOU DRINK IT????” “Because i wanna die”

“so there’s two kinds of country hicks: the yee haws and the haw yees. Now the yee haws are the ones in country songs, they’re vaguely normal and drink and do horse riding stuff. The haw yees are the ones who fish with their hands and then f*** their cousins afterwards”

“Pop is just spicy water”

“I’m sorry, it’s not pizza Steve anymore” “Who is it” “the fresh prince of bel air”

A kid took his phone out of the microwave like that was a normal thing that humans do

“BUT IS HE DATING THE DEER?!”

“Chinese people eat cats, why not lesbians?” *teacher looks up* “saying Chinese people eat cats is too far”

“A gryffindor and a ravenclaw ooh this is good”

Two girls at the exact same time: *Gasp* TEA!

*girl leans back and cracks her head on a counter kind of thing* a friend:”that’s the third f***ing time!”

“SUCK MY WEENIS!”

“If you ever need a professional con artist I’m here” *teacher looks up* “you didn’t hear that” teacher:”hear what”

“Guys I’m stupid. You know when there’s a big number and then a lil number what’s the lil one called” “exponent?” “Yeah!”

*impersonating yoda screaming*

*chugging coffee* “well, I’m still just as tired, but now my atoms are just jazzed.”

“Not to quote Frozen, but you can’t marry a man you just met!”

“Not knowing what kind of exorcise people are talking about is always interesting, because I don’t know if we’re talking about working out or satan”

“If we actually die in the scene where they kill themselves, do we get bonus?” Teacher: *sighs* “sure.”

“Physically you have hair but spiritually you’re bald.”

*Singing boyfriend by BTR for about an hour straight*

“Stop saying teehee you sound like off brand Michael Jackson”

“He smells dead mice for a living!”

*kicking someone’s foot off a ledge* “long live the king!”

*holding a banana like a weapon* “give me all your debt!”

“I want my fingers to be four inches long”

“Let me read your head for a second”

“Oh no you’re white out now”

“This is what happens when your insides are cold”

“Did you just call me a dumb banana?”

“So Kelvin is Fahrenheit...”

“Let me add another fat roll to your arm”

“You wanna see a cute pic of my baby nephew?” “Sure but I might cry”

“Listen I need these pictures to load so I can see if my goats are being little crackheads”

“I keep trying to see if you’re a VSCO girl but you’re holding out on us”

“Pumpkin. Spice. Bleach.”

“I’m already a mother and I don’t like it.”

“This is a vegan cult, Jessica”

“Did you just say you started a religion?” “Yeah, I think I’ll call it the Fedoras”

“Isn’t a fedora just like... a cowboy hat but formal”

“Yes choke me daddy panic”

“I’m your emotional support crackhead deal with it”

“She got possessed by country satan”

“If you think about it toes are just little feet”

“Oh my god imagine if you pronounced Roosevelt like goose”

“Roosevelt got really sad when i broke up with him.”

“I love how I just classified reaper as its own state of being”

“So Santa’s not a cryptid”

“We’re not meat creatures like crabs”

“Do you want to be a famous writing?”

“Self care is becoming a breaded chicken tender on the weekends”

“You are a little yellow boy”

“I gotta look up how to have a stroke”

“At least you still have straight privilege”

“You piece of b*tch”

“Children having skulls is scary”

“You wanna crochet my friend a rat”

“If you kill yourself and you have a life insurance policy that your family then collects, is that insurance fraud?”

“Spaghetti man is talking about pregnancy and I’m scared”

“You’re the cutest trash I’ve ever seen”

“Poetry? Lame. DriversEd? Lame. Dousing myself in butter and becoming a dinner roll? F*ckin’ MINT”

“Finally, an invention to get rid of me” *zooms in on words garbage disposal*

“Is Swiper from Dora a furry or an actual fox?”

“I’m laughing because I just realized the word identity has t*tty in it”

“Oh my god I thought Paris was a country”

“Girl if you are having a baby this month the only thing you are birthing is FLAT Stanley”

“My eyes really said gardening”

“I snorted soapy water this morning”

“Intestines: do you really need them or are they a social construct?”

“I watched the first episode of that show illegally, and it was great”

“How much does a hit man cost in this economy?”

“Is santa wearing stripper heels?”

“No, I didn’t give birth to a baby cow”

“I am a whole grape not a raisin”

“I’ve decided on my career. I’m becoming a hit man for cheap”

“And you fought the tomato”

“You can be gay with the homeless”

[indigo-ra]

Leaving Neverland

So... *trigger warning* You’re about to be mad. You’re gonna be mad about the entire situation and you’re about to be mad at what I’m about to say, but I need you to realize just because my perspective is wide, doesn’t make it right. This is just my opinion...I’m warning anybody in advance, to have a seat and sip some soothing tea because as emotional as you’re about to feel, I want you to be objective and impersonal. Here we go.

Michael Jackson was a pedophile. If you don’t believe it, you’re entitled to preserving the purity of his humanity from behind your rose-colored lenses due to he fact that he’s no longer with us and that he output such love into the world that he was a kind, giving, selfless, and loving person. You are 100% entitled to that. He was a man of mild temperament and kind. #facts But he was also a lover of children (etymology: pedo(child) phile(lover) If you don’t believe all the allegations that have come out over the years, I don’t even know why you’re reading this. Stop here and move on with your life. BUT if you even have the slightest doubt or question about the validity of these claims, then allow me to share with you, my conclusion. I haven’t watched the documentary but here’s what I’ve learned from the CNBC interviews. The alleged victims James Safechuck and Wade Robson, who was famous around the same time as Carson Daly and Teen Beat, claim Michael Jackson did some pretty explicit things with them on that ranch. Oral Sex was mentioned. It would be easy to first think “Where the fuck were the parents? They should be blamed,” but I’m not going to even go on that tangent. MJ was grooming them allegedly telling them things like “I love you,” You’re my first love” “This is how we show each other love” “If we get caught WE’LL go to jail” and even going so far as to run drills with them to get dressed as quickly as possible if anyone came knocking. I believe all of this is true. But here’s why Michael Jackson is NOT GUILTY. At age 5, if somebody touched my kitkat, I would not have necessarily known how to react, but I know it would have made me feel conflicted if they weren’t just changing my diaper. Psychologically once a child has moved up  into the age they can use the bathroom on their own, THEY KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG CONCERNING A PERSON TOUCHING THEIR GENITALS. You can argue this and that, but if you were victim of some kind of sexual abuse due to psychological manipulation, I honestly don’t want to hear your BIAS.  All I know is *I* knew the difference at that age. If a stranger touched me inappropriately at age 7, I’m tattling at age 7. I’m not waiting 200 years to tell about a trespass that WAS unlawful AT A TIME WHEN THOSE RIGHTS NO LONGER APPLY. Now if you wanna know why it took so long for them to come forward etc, its simple. They were in love with him and in all reality MJ probably was actually in love with them too. He didn’t “HURT” them and so the line became some shade of a hazy blurred gray when the victims look back on the past and suddenly feel shame about a relationship they actively participated in and were actually happy to have, but can’t TALK about it because it was Taboo.  Sexual activity happened, but what about the days that they all had so much fun playing games doing kid camp shit that are probably the BEST memories of their lives? Don’t get me wrong, NONE of that negates that the sexual misconduct was illegal BUT they were consenting parties. When you say a child cannot consent, you’re saying they are not responsible for themselves.  From birth, the only thing you can control is you. They were old enough to say no. I don’t like this. I want to go home. I’m uncomfortable. Blah blah blah. I’m not making excuses for an adult male taking advantage, but I don’t see children as being blameless just because they’re children either.  So what this is REALLY about, I think, is two women scorned who thought they were the loves of MJs life. That’s why they never said anything, because they felt loved from the beginning til the very end. After he died and now money’s getting tight and nobody remembers why your name was ever tied to fame, you need a payout and you weren’t left anything in the will, despite how much he loved you. You feel financially betrayed. So now the story can finally come out because “It needs to be told” 30 years later. He was a pedophile. But those children were “child. molesters.” let that sink in. Children who molest, if you can’t understand what I’m implying.