#who is thatt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blucassiopeia · 8 months

Note

i really love your Dangerous piece! that i started stalking you and your works. but can i request a piece about the song Rewrite the Stars like how you did to Vanilla Twilight?

i won't mind if it's connected to your fic/s or anything. ☺

🤩 love this! i have just the right plot!

warnings: angst angst angst, cheating, complicated Osamu, mentions of suicide and deaths, pining, may be boring for you butー🙈

wc: 1.6k

Ω.

"cake?"

you nodded at your husband as he reached out for that layer of cake at the middle of the round reception table. you don't think you can keep it down tho. your head's swimming right now, eyes unfocused and glossy. glad Atsumu's not talking about it, if ever he had noticed.

at the swarm of guests in the reception, your sight seemed to make a beeline to someone you never expected to marry. and he's staring back at you with wide wary eyes.

the whole scene was unexpected, the past week was full of bombs you never anticipated, he never anticipated. a shotgun wedding because of some overly reserved culture, a wedding to mask the shame he did infront of the bride's parents not even less a month ago.

you sighed, resigned at the ridiculous fate of your husband's twin and readily averted your gaze from him, already smiling at Atsumu and his new plate of cake.

"thanks, love."

four months passed by like a fork scraping on metal and one morning you found yourself naked and blanketed and alone on Osamu's marital bed. your head is throbbing so hard, breath labored as panic washed over you. within minutes, you were ready to leave their household. Atsumu and Osamu's wife are all you could think of at the moment.

then you saw her, carrying a supposed to be breakfast in bed, and awkwardly smiling at you.

"hi. you're up already. Osamu's just taking a bath." she squeaked.

your eyes glossed at the unexpected encounter with her, panic reaching to your brim. how could she be soー

"she won't tell Atsumu."

Osamu's arms wrapped around your hips, his chest flushed on your back as he softly gave your shoulder kisses. in front of his wife. you saw how she forlornly smiled as her eyes were glued on Osamu's arms around you.

"breakfast before she go, 'SaーOsamu."

"of course."

"no. i'm going home. thank you."

you forcefully squirmed away Osamu and stomped through their door, so sudden that he took a minute to process and he's out of their apartment on your heels, leaving his wife clutching her chest unbeknownst to both of you.

"let's stop this, 'Samu. please." you begged Osamu two nights after that incident with his wife.

"don't you love me anymore?"

oh god, i still do. i do.

"i don't."

"you were mine first."

"but he's my husband now. he's the one that i love now. and he's your twin, for god's sake Osamu. are you really out of your mind? can't you not see your wife hurting because of yourー"

"no. i'm not letting you go."

but to Osamu's horror, you snipped out all means of communications with him. it was hard because how it'll be possible if Atsumu and Osamu are on the same circle, on the same family. but you tried your hardest. and you have seen him getting restless.

and his wife giving you pleading glances.

why is she pleading you to cheat with her husband? when clearly, she's fucking hurting. she has consented, but you can't stomach it. Atsumu and she deserves so much better partners. and you'll be that better one for Atsumu. even if it'll kill you.

then came a day that all of that went 180°. Atsumu started to notice how Osamu and his longing gazes rest on you and your husband would linger his eyes on you on nights, full of question.

his question came past one night, "do you somehow want me to break this relationship up?"

to your horror, eyes wide, you sat up and took a good look at him before you whispered, "no. no Atsumu. why would you ask that?" you cupped his cheeks now wet with his rolling tears. it broke your heart to a certain degree. "why would you ask that?"

you came in terms with him after that night, but his relationship with his brother got dented. you blamed yourself as your attention was on Osamu and how he's treating his wife. he's getting worse everyday. how can he do that to her? is he really like that?

no. he's not like that. he's just like that because she's not you. Osamu's blaming her for everything bad happening to him, from his family to you.

god, what an asshole. and to think you love that asshole.

"you love Atsumu, huh?"

"with all my heart, Osamu. with all of my heart. so please."

"okay."

that sneaky afternoon, he walked out from you for the first time, and you let him. you have to let him.

that was hours before something horrifying happened.

his wife died, and she was pregnant. his wife died without him by her side. his wife died, never knowing how Osamu cried for her, how he's realizing he loves her.

"i regretted ever blinding myself because of my love for you that i didn't notice her. i regretted ever loving you. because of you, i lost them."

you smiled at him, Atsumu not far and listening, letting you take the wheel.

"no Osamu. you lost them because you were selfish and indifferent. keep that in mind."

and his words burned you and it'll always will, for times to come.

he was avoiding you for all the time you've been with his brother. does he remember? what was happening anyway? why's everything happening again?

no. not happening again.

so, you also avoided him with all your might.

acted like magnets with the same polar properties, repelling.

and you can't help but to watch him ruin everything for both him and his ex-wife, roping her new husband in the process.

you heard him muttered under his breath his apologies and his newfound motivation. and it broke you, because it's all for someone that's not you. and this is fine. this is fine.

ii.

it's different now.

he'sー

invigorated. to give his ex-wife the happiness she deserves. all along. and he'll continue to give her everything. until he's exhausted.

and he'll never be. you know it deep in your bones.

the way he looks at her while pretending to be her bestfriend? it's different from the way he looks at you.

so you close your eyes. you don't have to be a masochist.

iii.

how long has it been from when he last talked to you like how he did so long ago?

you can feel Atsumu's arms on your waist, his slow breathing as he slumbers. but your mind's not there. it's on some apartment far downtown, with Osamu crying because he can't bottle up his emotions anymore. his ex-wife is getting married again to her soulmate.

your heart wants to hug him, but it's not right. and he doesn't want you there.

i regretted ever loving you.

you swallowed hard.

iv.

again.

close your eyes.

yn be strong. you can get through this.

it's going to be okay.

he'll be okay.

focus on Atsumu.

vi.

you have seen him so devastated when his ex-wife committed suicide after the freakest incident these cycles had offered Osamu.

and you lost Atsumu, too.

you wanna run to him. but it's not too easy.

it'll waste everything he had worked for. for the love of his life.

six cycles ago, that was you.

when will this end?

vii.

something's different with him. he's.. hitting on you. and you hoped it was it.

but no.

he's trying to change the situations. trying new paths to get a new ending. but you're close to breaking.

"stop what you're doing, Osamu."

he was.. fuck. damn you, Osamu.

"not doing anything like that."

for over seven cycles, he's at it again. is he not afraid?

but there it was. even if it's just a glimmer, there's something else in his eyes. but Atsumu.. you can't sacrifice Atsumu.

you're afraid that he's just doing this for his love. and not for you.

of course. it's not for you. he has someone else now. and he's going through and against space and time to give everything to her. you're.. jealous. but she deserves all of it.

so close your eyes again, yn.

viii.

but when he tried his chance again on you, so early down the line, you gave in. but you didn't expect much. he's still inlove with her. he'll forever be. you smiled bitterly as you rode his train.

"i love you."

you teared up at how he said it, so sincere and believable. and you wanna believe him. you badly want to believe him. coz this was all you ever wanted. all you ever dreamt of, happening in front of your eyes.

"i love you too, 'Samu."

"i'm yours."

you laughed lightly. how could he say that? after this cycle, he'll have his happy ending with his forever love. after this, he'll come back to her like you never happened. and you'll go back to Atsumu, just like before. you just aren't meant to be, in any of these cycles. eventhough you longed for him for so long.

he maybe thought you were already asleep in his chest. he maybe thought that you'll never hear.

"i'm giving up on her. i'll take responsibility now. i have roped all of you to these crazy cycles and i'm sorry. i'm sorry for being selfish, yn. i pray there wont be any other cycle. i pray this would be the last. i'm done seeing you longing for me. i'm so sorry. i love you."

but you're not giving up on his happiness too.

so you wished for him instead.

α.

because this is what is supposed to be.

that only cycle is enough for you to survive. everything will keep you and Osamu apart anyway so you'll treasure that previous cycle with all of your heart. where you were on edge, but you're happy. because you are with him.

now, you just have to drink to the fact that it's not Osamu, in any universe. and you'll forever suffer from it, for as long as you'll remember.

and he'll never know.

"i love you, Osamu. be happy now."

you whispered infront of the shrine that started it all.

cassie 2023.

48 notes · View notes