#who wanted it eo badly she thought she might die? is she looking at this 24 year old who still lives with her mother and is she crying out

[thefabelmans2022]

anyway why does clara bow hit me so hard like emotionally why am i sitting here sobbing

[gumnut-logic]

Take Me Home

This is @tsarinatorment​ ‘s fault. She wrote this amazing fic where neither Gordon or Scott come out particularly well. Please read the warnings on that fic before reading.

Consequently, the Virgil in my head went completely apeshit and demanded to be heard.

So, here we have a sequel to @tsarinatorment​ ‘s fic where Virgil arrives on scene.

Thank you to both @tsarinatorment​ and @janetm74​ for the readthough and support.

No real warnings on this one. Scott and Gords haven’t had a good time and a lot of Virgil comfort was needed. I hope you enjoy it :D

-o-o-o-

The air burned as Thunderbird Two killed speed above Brize Norton, her presence forecast by an urgent Thunderbird Five.

Three words.

“We found him.”

It had been a week since Scott had disappeared from a night club in Italy. A business conference that his brother had both been loathing and anticipating. The former because of the smarmy hangers on, the second for the chance at a little nightlife.

Security was an issue. It was always an issue. But Kayo had been on it.

A bomb, three dead security guards, five dead civilians and a nightclub of terrified patrons had been the result.

How far someone would go to obtain a Tracy had been underestimated.

And Scott was gone.

Kayo went mad. Horrified and furious, she was inconsolable. She disappeared, the only proof of life a word or two from an equally apoplectic Penelope.

They would find him or die trying.

John wasn’t much better. His initial frantic was replaced with cold and calculated. Eos was everywhere.

But despite all that, despite the power and skill of the Tracy legacy, it still took five days to discover even an inkling of what had happened.

A cult. A bunch of fanatics who claimed Scott was a messiah or something.

Virgil stood in the lounge staring at Penelope’s lips as they explained that his brother was still missing and they still didn’t even know where to look.

By evening Gordon was gone as well.

It was Alan who discovered their aquanaut’s absence and if Virgil clung to his little brother just a little longer than was needed, his excuse was simply that he needed to do SOMETHING and if comfort was all he could give, then by god, he was going to give it.

Another two days. With half his family missing it was Grandma who kept him sane. Grounded him in a way no meagre hobby of use of his hands could do.

And then Aunt Val finally made the call.

“We found him.”

Thunderbird Two hit the ground with a thump. Eyes of GDF personnel stared up at her, but Virgil ignored them as he grabbed a medkit, lowered himself to the tarmac and ran.

Scott had been found.

It was with hope and a little dread that he followed the GDF aide into the depths of the building.

The dread increased as he was led to an office that clearly did not hold his brother. The desk and two chairs only emphasized the emptiness of the room.

The moment his godmother walked in, his heart plummeted.

“Where is he?”

Her eyes were kind. “Virgil, he’s safe. He’s with Gordon.”

“Gordon?”

Aunt Val looked away and sat down on the edge of the desk. “Yes, your brother was very…persistent in this matter.”

Virgil frowned. Gordon had worked with the GDF? “I would have thought that would be expected.” A breath. “Are they okay?”

Aunt Val looked back at him. “Yes. Though Scott is still unconscious. A harmless sedative according to scans. Gordon has him.”

“Then why am I here and not with them?” His fists clenched and unclenched.

She looked down at his gloved hands before again catching his eyes. “They will be here shortly.” A small frown crinkled her forehead. “Virgil…tread carefully.”

The words were meant kindly, but they only wound him up more. Where were his brothers?

Before he could say anything, the door behind him was nudged open and Gordon staggered in carrying their eldest brother.

Virgil didn’t think. He just acted.

“Oh god, Gordon!”

He moved in, reaching for them, only to have his little brother stagger backwards out of reach.

“Gordon?” The aquanaut was ever so pale, his face a little scratched as if he had been scrubbing it with his fingernails. The GDF uniform was baggy on him as if it didn’t quite fit properly. But it was his eyes that were the worst.

They were haunted.

“Gordy?”

His brother blinked as Scott’s head lolled against his shoulder. “Virg?”

Ever so gentle. “Hey, Fish.”

Gordon’s arms were trembling under his brother’s weight, his white knuckles clinging to the sickly grey of Scott’s uniform.

“Can I see him?” Virgil took a small step forward, his eyes on Scott.

Gordon blinked. “Sure.” But the aquanaut made no offer to come any closer.

“Do you want to sit down? Here…” Virgil grabbed one of the chairs and gestured Gordon to sit in it.

Virgil bit the inside of his cheek.

But Gordon slid into the chair and Virgil was thankful. His little brother was so pale…

But Scott…Virgil crouched down and reached into the medkit, grabbing the scanner. The flash of yellow startled Gordon and his eldest brother was drawn closer to the aquanaut. Regardless, the readouts started streaming back to the tablet in Virgil’s hand.

Oh, thank god.

It was as his godmother had said. Unconscious, but his vitals were good. Strong indicators of a familiar but mostly harmless sedative in his system. He may as well have been asleep.

Of course, Virgil would be happier if he were awake, but he was so grateful to be seeing him after so long, it knotted in his throat.

But he couldn’t let the relief flow just yet.

There was definitely something wrong with Gordon.

The yellow light flickered over his fish brother and he flinched again.

It was both a relief and a worry that only Gordon’s historic injuries registered. Inflammation was forming at the base of his spine, probably in reaction to the weight he was carrying. Scott was far from light. Virgil knew from experience. Gordon had the arms and the strength, but not the stability and it was likely adrenalin and desperation were a big player in the fact his little brother could still clutch Scott to his chest.

Virgil slipped the scanner and tablet back into the medkit and quietly dropped it to the floor.

Pulling off his gloves, he let them drop to the floor beside the kit.

Gordon’s eyes followed his every move.

A pause, and then holding his breath, Virgil reached out and lay a gentle hand on Gordon’s shoulder.

When his brother didn’t flinch away, he squeezed gently. “Let’s take him home.”

Gordon blinked at him, staring.

“Gordon?”

Another blink. “Yes. Virgil. Take him home.”

But his brother didn’t move.

Scott continued to breathe evenly against Gordon’s collar bone.

Virgil reached out and brushed a finger through Scott’s hair, both for himself and to gauge Gordon’s response.

His fish brother immediately drew Scott in tighter and away from Virgil.

The medic let a quiet breath out between his teeth.

He knew what this was. There were textbooks and diagnoses and he had encountered it in the field himself many times.

It hurt more when it was a brother.

Cautiously but determined, Virgil moved the hand on Gordon’s shoulder to the back of his neck and the bare skin there. Pressing warm palm to tense neck muscles, he leant in and touched his forehead to Gordon’s ever so softly.

Quiet. Loving. “He’s safe, Gords. You can let go. You’ve saved him.”

There was nothing at first, other than a fine tremble of muscles used past their limit.

Then…

“Virgil?” His name was little more than a sob.

“I’ve got you. You’re safe. Scott’s safe. We can go home.” A pause. He exhaled, relief in his voice. “We can go home.”

There was a strangled sound before Gordon once again went silent. But his head slipped slowly past Virgil’s to land on his shoulder.

A moment of hesitation, wary his brother might bolt, and Virgil slid his other arm around both Scott and his little brother.

There was no sound other than Scott’s even breathing.

Gordon continued to tremble.

Virgil sat there, giving his brother time. He didn’t know what had happened to either of them, but he did know it was bad and it hurt.

His heart ached for Gordon and feared what would happen when Scott awoke. What horrors had both of them witnessed? How badly were his brothers injured in ways no medical scanner could ever reveal?

If he clung a little to both of them, he felt he had enough reason.

But Gordon was obviously exhausted and Scott needed to go home. Scanner or no scanner, Virgil wouldn’t be happy until they were both safe on Tracy Island under the watchful eye of Grandma.

He pulled away slowly to find Gordon almost asleep and blinking up at him wearily.

Virgil caught those tired eyes. “Let me help you.” He slipped his arms under Scott and gently lifted him away from Gordon.

Gordon continued to stare blearily.

“C’mon, bro. Let’s go home.”

Scott’s head lolled on Virgil’s shoulder as the engineer pushed himself to his feet arms full of big brother. Big being the keyword.

Gordon blinked, looked at his empty lap and then back up at Virgil.

“I’ve got him, Gords.”

The aquanaut stared a moment longer before nodding once and getting to his feet. He reached down and grabbed the medkit and Virgil’s gloves as if an automaton.

Virgil eyed him a moment longer before turning towards the door.

The expression on Aunt Val’s face stopped him in his tracks.

Her eyes were wide, but he frowned at her and stopped her from saying anything.

A swallow and she held the door. They slipped through quietly.

Corridors and doors and finally the ever so welcome sight of his ‘bird.

Gordon walked beside him as Two lowered her hatch. Stepping aboard, Virgil turned and nodded at their godmother who had followed them out.

No words were necessary.

Gordon leant in and his head touched Virgil’s shoulder.

A moment and the hatch retrieved them into Two’s belly.

They were going home.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

[promptis-imagines]

Prompto’s Sacrifice (the other side)

collection of all those asks in one convenient place

okay first we got this ask

GHOSTOFBEACONHILL

I'm in the mood to crush my heart, so I got to thinking about promptis! Specifically, promptis during the 10 year separation. How Prompto is the last one that finds out that, even if Noctis comes back, he needs to die to bring back the light. How Gladio and Ignis are so hesitant to tell him because he's one of the few things that help them keep going on in their current hell world. And how Prompto swings between denial of what is about to happen and heartbreak.

Oh…oh man…definite heart-crushing material right there. The idea that Noct might return really is the one thing keeping Prom going, but…the other two aren’t sure about telling him. Ultimately, they decide that it won’t be fair for Noct to be the one to break the news when he returns–that would put too much more on him, and they don’t want to.So they decide to tell Prompto a few years before the ten. Prom is grief-stricken. If he gets his best friend back, his love, he’s going to lose him for good the next day? That’s just not fair. He’s also probably a little hurt that they didn’t tell him for so long. That causes a spat between them, but Prom isn’t thinking in his right mind at the moment.Now I’m torn between this super depressing acceptance and Prom going on a journey to figure out how to keep Noct alive. He’d make a damning deal with the Astrals if that was the only option.

And then:

GHOSTOFBEACONHILL

To continue with the heartbreak scenario and taking what you said, what if Prompto goes searching for ways to prevent Noctis having to sacrifice himself just so that everyone else can survive? What if, while searching, he loses complete track of time and isn't in Hammerhead when Noctis arrives? What if he is so invested in trying to save Noctis that he misses ... everything?

Oh I see you aren’t done hurting me. I see.

That would devastate Noct. He wants to see Prom so badly, but he’s not there when he arrives at Hammerhead. Of course, he’s really happy to see Gladio and Ignis, but they’ve got this look on their faces. And…well, when Noct looks over their shoulders for that spike of blond hair, Gladio tells him that it’s just the two of them. They aren’t sure where Prom is, haven’t kept tabs on him since he up and left without a trace.

Noct needs all three of them for support before what he’s about to face. He doesn’t know that Prom is off trying to save his life; all that’s apparent to him is that Prom isn’t there. Maybe he didn’t want to handle seeing this moment. Which Noct can understand, but doesn’t he deserve a bit of selfishness in his final hour? Doesn’t he deserve to have a proper goodbye?

Aight you’re the master of this so tell me: does Prom find the answer? And if so, what does it cost?

Then it branched off! This is the “Everyone Else Forgets timeline” under the cut

GHOSTOFBEACONHILL

Alright then. *cracks knuckles* So, Prompto is visiting every place he knows that have significance to either the Royal family or the Astrals and is investigating every nook and cranny, trying to see if maybe they missed something. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But Prompto is nothing if not stubborn and determined, so he keeps searching. On his stop to the Greyshire Glacial Grotto, he runs into Gentiana who asks him why he is not with the King of Kings (1/?)

And Prompto tells her about his journey, about how he wants to save Noctis’ life while still saving everything else. Gentiana warns that Bahamut, the Sword Keeper, will not allow it; that the line of Lucis Caelum will end with the saving of the world. Prompto screams and shouts at that, saying that what was the point of watching him, protecting him … loving him if he was set to die anyway?! He blurts out everything about Noct he loves and cherishes and Gentiana (2/?)

is moved. This human, this special human, loved the King of Kings just like she had loved the Oracle, even if in different ways. She reveals herself as Shiva and she informs him that there is a way. She tells him of the location of the Dawn Mother, Eos, and where he could find her. But warns that there is a price. Prompto, the idiot in love that he is, states that he would pay any price for Noctis. Any price at all.

(I then diverged the convo to the other timeline, but back to this one!)

ANONYMOUS:

I really like the idea of Prompto being forgotten because then you can have all the people who he’s connected to feel like they’re missing something even though they don’t have the memories telling they are. And just because they are missing memories doesn’t mean that photographic evidence of prompto doesn’t exist. So imagine if Noct just finds a picture of Prompto kissing him on his phone. In fact i bet there is a whole folder dedicated to pictures of prompto or things he sent him

Y’all have much better ideas than me lol who wants to run my blog- (this point still stands y’all are great)

Now, let’s take the reverse of [the Prompto Forgets] scenario. Where Prompto is completely removed from people’s memories. The sad thing is that Prompto’s removal … wouldn’t actually affect … anything in the game’s timeline at all. But his removal is harmful, not that Prompto on the outside would notice. Because Prompto kept Noctis human. Our blonde boy was what kept Noct going for so long and to remove that? You have a king that is fully in his depression with no one able to get him out of it.

You’re right…but gods, the depression that Noct would fall into. His light isn’t there, even in his memory. He feels like something is just missing, and he’s helplessly reaching for nothing. Poor thing, nobody has ever really been able to cheer him up like Prompto has…and now Noct doesn’t even know that it’s a person he should be searching for.

ANONYMOUS:

Ok ok so, I’m not the og anon, but I’ve been keeping up with the asks so I hope it’s ok to add on! I love the idea of Noct trying to peace together who this mystery man is, so like he goes on a scavenger hunt of what’s left of the world and insomnia, like going to all the places that he sees in the pictures on his phone but no one knows who this kid is. And maybe prom’s like decided to just live a secluded existence in the mountains or something and accept his fate idk so Noct has a hell of a time finding him but he doesn’t give up because he just FEELS somethingn he knows there has to be something to it all, because it’s super wierd honeslty for this person to just apparently not exist? But there’s photographic evidence? And he can’t shake the feeling of forgetting something important and he knows it must have something to do with this dude. Maybe Noct starts to have dreams about Prom, because like you can never really forget someone, ya know? And it just ads to the confusion of it all. Idk if they ever find each other again or what happens then but I feel like Noct wouldn’t give up

Hello new anon and welcome to the madness. It’s always definitely okay to add on!!

It is now time for Who’s That Guy? The show where the King of Lucis goes on a hunt for a random blond he keeps seeing in his phone!

No but really, it probably takes him a little while to notice. Phones aren’t of much use at first, when they’re starting to rebuild, so he doesn’t have it on hand enough to consider going through the photos he has until a random day when he decides to sit down and charge the thing. Then it hits him like a sack of bricks that he’s been feeling something nagging at him for a while. Like there’s a piece that hasn’t been fitting quite right. Maybe…this guy has that missing piece? Thing is, nobody he shows it to has a clue who the guy might be. The photo looked to be from when he was 20, so ten years is a long time for someone to think back on (especially with the circumstances of the starscourge).

Well, this can only mean one thing. Start looking.

ghostofbeaconhill:

In Everyone Else Forgets (EEF), Gladio and Ignis try EVERYTHING they can think of to help get Noct out of his depression. Something inside them, some instinct, knows that it's possible, but nothing they try works. They knew that their king dying was going to happen, and now that it isn't in the cards, they are doing everything they can to keep him here in the waking world. But how? How?!

It’s a mess! There’s so much to do, and they’re all in this weird slump that they can’t quite place. They keep glancing around them for another person before remembering it was just the three of them. There’s a vague sense of someone else that rode in the Regalia with them. Something stirs in their minds when they see a chocobo. Everything is confusing, and again, there’s so much to do in this broken world. Their broken king is number 1 on that list.

anonymous:

Howdy it’s og (can you really call it og when I just added to it) anon of the split timeline where Noct forgets and I like hurting myself apparently because the only thought that I had about their reunion is Prom and Noct freezing and then Prom immediately running away. Noct is trying to follow but is still not in the best shape because the throne room stabbing still happened, he just didn’t die from it. Not only that he just doesn’t have the magic to gain the advantage.

lmao this man who has the aches of being stabbed so many times over trying to compete with an actual runner? Good luck Noct give up while you can. 

Prom, poor thing, cannot believe that Noct found him. Like, what are the odds? He’s tried so hard to keep his distance, thinking that it would be best if Noct didn’t go through the stress of trying to befriend him again. But then he just shows up?? Are you kidding?? My mans bolts away.

anonymous:

Prom is either secluded because he doesn’t feel he has a place in the world anymore or is a nomad who rides a chocobo that helps people along the way because he just can’t not do that.

Also I just personally love this

[elliepassmore]

Assassin’s Blade Review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: novellas, character background, fantasy, assassins, strong female leads, character development I love love love this book, even though thinking about a certain someone makes me want to cry. The ‘parts’ to Assassin’s Blade were originally separately published novellas, so I’m going to separate the review into parts, but as a whole, I love how Maas constructed the story and wove the parts together (especially in light of EoS and KoA). Maas is big on the chiastic plot structure, so, as someone who’s rereading all the books, this entire collection is basically plot- and foreshadow-porn. Keep in mind, there are mild spoilers throughout this review (and there likely will be in the others as well), since most of the books have been out for years at this point. I still tag the important spoilers with *SPOILER*. The Assassin and the Pirate Lord There’s a ton of funny lines in this one that I really enjoy. Coming back and rereading it, it’s obvious how much of a goddamned brat Celaena is, I actually feel bad for Sam, even though he’s a brat right back. Maas definitely sets this up to be the Start of something, and we see references to it throughout the entire story. I really enjoyed watching Sam and Celaena interact and grow as a team. Sam’s mothing henning when Celaena is snooping through Rolfe’s office is hilarious, though knowing Arobynn, his worry is understandable. Rolfe and Sam’s interactions are funny too, even if Sam is duping him half the time. I think, given time and opportunity, the two could become friends. I also, almost begrudgingly, enjoy Rolfe and Celaena’s interactions. They’re waaayyy too similar, I think, to ever really get along all that well. I love how Maas has Sam and Celaena deal with the knowledge that Arobynn’s agreement with Rolfe was about slaves. Each has their own personal trauma relating to it to deal with, and, despite their…difficulties getting along, they’re able to act as a team to sort of execute Celaena’s plan. I also like how this is the (implied) first time they truly agree about something and meet each other in the middle. This understanding definitely sets the stage for their future interactions, and you can even see it impacting how Celaena thinks about her reckless plans in the future. It’s also the beginning of Celaena’s arc for this storyline, and it kind of connects to her arc in the future books as well. We’re introduced to her as a spoiled 16-year-old, and by the end of this first story, we’ve seen she’s willing to risk hell to free slaves simply because it’s the right thing to do (and maybe because she understands the feeling??? just a thought). The Assassin and the Healer Honestly, this felt the most realistic out of all the stories. Obviously, I’m not talking about the mentions of magic, but of Yrene in the inn working around shit conditions serving shitty people and dealing with even shittier men’s behavior. When you read the story and know the context of how things with Yrene turned out, it’s incredible to see the transformation. Yrene already has a decent amount of bad-assery in her when Celaena shows up, but Celaena definitely helps her amplify it. Troublemaker. But in all seriousness, Yrene needs someone to wake her up to the fact she’s running from the life she wants because it’s more convenient to stay put, and Celaena needs someone to remind her that Arobynn was wrong about things and that she still needs to go back and confront what she started. Reading this, I wonder what would’ve happened if Celaena had left the continent and set up an Assassin’s Guild somewhere else and later came back for Sam. Obviously, the books would be a lot different, but my curiosity is definitely piqued. Of course, if that’d happened, we also wouldn’t get to see her character develop in the next couple of novellas. Celaena would be static, or near-static. The Assassin and the Desert This one might be my favorite story of the collection. I absolutely adore Ansel and Celaena’s relationship. I think their relationship offered a nice balance to so many of the others Celaena has in her life, which typically include power plays and one-upping. With Ansel, it felt more like a true friendship. I also really like how Maas offered an alternative to the assassin world we’ve already been introduced to. With Arobynn, Maas makes it seem like the assassins are all cruelty and brutality, but with the Silent Assassins we see a different, gentler side of things. Yes, they’re still training to be killers, but even Celaena points out that things are less cutthroat with the Silent Assassins. I feel this is definitely a turning point for Celaena’s character. It’s here, in the desert, that she not only realizes that the way Arobynn runs things is messed up, but also gets a sense that she needs to look beyond herself and the immediate. I also love the wonder she has for the different cultures and places she doesn’t know about. I mostly just really like the characters and their interactions in this story. Mikhail and Ilias and Ansel and Celaena all teasing and befriending one another offered a lightness to the story that’s sorely needed, and also hard to achieve in the others in the collection. It also makes everything about Celaena’s life hurt. I liked the Mute Master as well. He definitely understood things in Celaena’s life were messed up, but he didn’t push her, just waited and trained and was—are I say?—gentle with her until she came to the conclusion on her own. The ending kills me too. Not the last scene, though that’s amazing, but the climactic scene. Celaena has a great line about hate and feeling the need to make people pay: “‘Because I know what it feels like.’ She dared another step. ‘Because I know how it feels to have that kind of hate. I know how it feels. And this isn’t the way. […] But you have a choice. You’ve always had a choice.’” (213-14), edited for spoilers. I don’t know why, but it just felt like such a powerful line as I was reading it and I love it. The Assassin and the Underworld Ughhh there’s so many feels in this one! Ironically—or maybe, not-so-ironically—this is also where the stories start to get painful. Celaena’s back in Adarlan with Sam (yay!) and Arobynn (boo), and things immediately start going different than she expects they would. No surprise there.

I just…I feel so bad for her in this one and Empire, but since the review is for this one, I’m focusing here for now. She wants so badly to be free of Arobynn, but he pulls the classic abuser profile and pretends to be sorry and showers her with gifts and his fake-ass regret and gaslighting with Sam and Lysandra and…W O W this guy deserves to die. Anyway, she falls into his trap because things get confusing and he’s offering her the chance to kill a guy that’s working to start a continent-wide slave trade. It feels like all the right things, right? Wrong. Maas sets this one up so wonderfully that you can kind of sense that something’s off, but you don’t quite know what it is until Celaena knows. Arobynn’s reaction to everything too, I’d be curious to know just how far out he mapped Celaena’s reactions, or if once she reacted he was able to reorient his original plan a little to make it still fit. This one’s definitely more brutal than Desert I think, but there’s still some of that softness there. Celaena, Arobynn, Sam, and Lysandra go to the theater and we get to see a gentler, more emotional side of Celaena. We also get to see some of that teasing friendship she had with Ansel come out between her and Sam. It’s definitely better when they’re on the same page with one another, because otherwise I just want to knock their heads together and be like ‘oy, you imbeciles, who both like like each other and want free of Arobynn, get your heads out of your asses!’ They come around, though, and similar to Pirate, the thing that brings them together is their shared desire to be rid of the slave trade (and music and dislike of Arobynn, but those are new things). The Assassin and the Empire I’m going to be really, really honest: I almost didn’t read this one. Obviously, this is a reread of Assassin’s Blade and I’ve read the rest of the books, so I knew what was coming but…Jesus, I still didn’t want to read it. It’s just so unfair and it makes me want to SCREAM and maybe murder someone (very similar to how the EoS ending makes me feel, actually). This is another one where we see gentle!Celaena, and it's a nice change. She's definitely happier in this one than in the other ones, at least for a time. We also got to see more of Sam and what he's like, similar to in Underworld, but this time with just Celaena and Arobynn instead of a mix of other characters. I felt Celaena’s character development regressed a little in this one. She’s went back to being a little more selfish, a little more spoiled, and it’s a really interesting contrast to her in the later books, and even in Throne. Of course, all that was wiped away toward the end of the story when…The Incident happens. Honestly, it even starts to chip away halfway through the story, when she sort of accepts that as long as she’s with Sam and they’re both free, the rest of it won’t really matter. Reading this particular story also explains a lot of why she doesn’t trust other people with her plans and is so dead-set on doing everything alone, I think. As much as I hate the ending, I also love it. After The Incident and toward the very very end of the story, we see a switch flip in Celaena's mind. There's this moment after she sees the stag (which I definitely think helped her) and before they reach *SPOILER* Endovier *END SPOILER* where the silence recedes and she remembers Sam and she remembers what happened and all that burning fire and rage and desire to live above all else comes back to her, even if it's just embers at first. It's enough to get her on her feet, to start her on the path of Becoming. A completely heartbreaking ending that will always be painful to read, but also a brilliant one and it gives the whole collection a strong end-note. End Thoughts I love the collection as a whole, even though it hurts to read. There's so many wonderful, interesting characters in the book and so much character development for Celaena that it's worth the read. I also love that you can reread it after the end of the series and pick out all the moments of foreshadowing that Maas includes. Some of it is super subtle and some of it is more apparent. If you're a first time reader and read it before you read the others, it definitely gives you a decent introduction to the world, even if I didn't talk about worldbuilding too much in this review.

[littlewatty]

A drabble. The first and what may be the only ME:A related writing I do. Tagging for the spoilers. Ends in an awkward spot, but that’s as much as I had thought through. So that’s all there is.

You’re not Alec Ryder.

She wasn’t. She never would be. She never could be.

An untrained Pathfinder and all this mess to fix? The hell was he thinking? That was always her problem. It was Alec Ryder that was supposed to be marching off the Hyperion when it docked with the Nexus. Alec Ryder was supposed to found the outpost on Eos… on Voeld. Alec this. Alec that. Alec, Alec, Alec.

Where’s the Pathfinder?

The Pathfinder was gone. The real human Pathfinder died on Habitat 7, along with whatever vestiges of her life of from the Milky Way that remained. Her father was dead, her brother was in a coma, and any hope she had - for anything - died along with them. No, her brother wasn’t dead, but right now he might as well be.

Alec promised a lot. None of it panned out. That’s what you’re up against. Why people won’t trust you. Why I don’t trust you.

She didn’t even trust herself. Why should she? No one else did.

Even those that gave her the benefit of the doubt - Kandros and Kesh - would only trust her so long as she brought results. And results were getting harder and harder to come by. Either this was wrong, or that was. Luck had never been her friend, but this? She wouldn’t live for much longer at this rate. Even her loyal teammates might turn on her. One already expressed jealousy at being overlooked - not that she could blame Cora for that. It was unfair. And Liam… Sure, he could put on a face, but when shit hit the fan, how long would he stick by her side? They were hired on by her father. Not her.

You’re the Pathfinder now, Kitt.

Yeah. Some Pathfinder she was turning out to be. Everything up to this point had been so touch and go.

Eos - barely managed a success there. Two failed outposts, and the third was just by luck. Some hidden alien "vault" holding the secret to stabilizing the planet. But the radiation problem was still there. The colonists still had to have the radiation shields up around the outposts. Not to mention, the Kett.

Voeld - another disaster. An ice planet that was supposed to be some tropical ocean planet. Sure, there was still water. But it was all frozen. Every drop. Frozen. There wasn't even access to drinking water. You had to melt the ice. Not to mention, the Kett.

Havarl - not as much of a disaster as the other planets. Unfortunately, it turned out that this planet, Habitat 3, was the home planet for the Angara. A species that Kitt was desperately trying to play friendly with. No outpost. No success. Another failure. At least it hadn't turned out as badly as Habitat 7. Oh, but hey, no Kett.

And then there was Kadara... The planet itself was worse than all the others combined, and not due to the environment. No. It became home base for all the twisted exiles that had been banished from the Nexus. As if that wasn't bad enough, the planet used to be a settlement for the angara. So much for being friends. And the woman in charge? A badass, sure, but about the farthest from friendly as you could get without being an ally to the kett or the Roekar. Oh! And there were Roekar on the planet, just to top it all off.

For all its faults, though, Kadara was the only place that felt honest. Yeah, everyone hated her guts, but at least they didn't try to hide it. They didn't pretend like she was going to be their saving grace. They didn't expect anything from her. She was just another face they were more than willing to curb stomp. If not for the ceasefire zone, anyhow. There were liars among them, to no surprise. But... some of their lies were different.

These lies she started to believe. As much as her gut told her no, the playful words and the teasing advances, she believed it all. "Shena". The angaran word for ‘mouth’. It certainly was an accurate code name. In more ways than one. It's not like she expected him to be any different. All those smooth words didn't hide the truth of what he was. A pilot turned smuggler. What could he be besides a liar? And yet Kitt didn't care. Not one bit. Why? Because he made her feel good about herself. He made her feel like she was getting the job done. He made her feel something other than self pity. And she thanked him for that.

It was dangerous, though. Trusting someone like him. A man that never spoke about himself. Until he did. In that moment, he allowed himself to be vulnerable around her. Vulnerable in the same way that she had been around him. It was true honesty, even if his words had all been lies. That look, the little fidget of uncertainty in his feet. That was truth. That was something you couldn't pretend. Maybe that's why she didn't regret kissing him, up there on that rooftop. Because something about it was honest.

Something, or nothing. Where she stood now, she had begun to realize that there were more lies than just the ones he told. Shena. Reyes. Smuggler. Charlatan. God, that last one stung. Charlatan was now a word coated in regret.

Now she had a choice. The clock was ticking down. This so called 'fair' duel was a sham - just like everything turned out to be. On one hand, there was Sloane Kelly. The Nexus Security run away that had taken a group of piss poor excuses for explorers and turned them into brutes. Thugs. Extorting the local population in favor of the aliens who had come with her. Demanding exorbitant 'protection' fees and supplying the poor and feeble with highly addictive drugs. But she was a thug. Someone with a mind for strategy, but little patience for manipulation.

Then there was Reyes... Reyes Vidal, the Charlatan. Masked threat to Sloane's whole enterprise. Sure, there was the old saying; the enemy of my enemy is my friend. How far can you really take that? Reyes had used her, manipulated her from the moment she met him. Honey coated words to let down her guard, slip in under her radar, and get her to do exactly as he wanted. Every step undermined Sloane's power, gave the Charlatan and his Collective more control. It was brilliant really. So the real question was, could she ever believe a word he says? If she chose him, could she ever really trust him? Or would each word be a sweet little lie just to get her to do exactly as he wants?

Both sides had risks. Too many for her to weigh in such a short amount of time. Her heart cried with the betrayal from someone she wanted so badly to trust, but her mind could not ally herself with someone who would take advantage of those less fortunate. So she did nothing. Sloane drew her gun, and Kitt closed her eyes, trying to will herself to a different time, a different place. Someplace, sometime, that was happy. Back on the Citadel, playing in the lake with her brother until C-Sec would chase them down. There was no swimming in the lake... Their mother would always laugh when the soaked C-Sec guard would drop them off at home. They always managed to push them in, no matter how quick or crafty the guard was. The twins were always better.

A shot rang out. It didn't come from beside her.

The scent of blood coated the inside of her nostrils Metallic and tangy. Something she'd gotten unfortunately accustomed to.

"Bang."

The voice of a liar. A liar she trusted. A liar that made her feel welcome among those that hated her. But a liar nonetheless. It made Kitt's stomach turn and her heart leap. What a cliched internal conflict. She'd laugh if only it wasn't so pathetic.

"You're a goddamned traitor..." the woman spat. It was a truth buried among lies. "Your father is the only reason any of us are here. Now he's dead, just like the rest of us. Maybe we'd have a chance if he'd have let you die on Habitat 7."

Finally.

Finally someone said it.

No more hinting. No more veiled suggestions. No more lies. Sloane Kelly, the only person to tell Kitt to her face that her father should have lived instead. The only thing in Andromeda that she knew to be the truth. Kitt opened her eyes so she could finally look at the only person who ever told her the whole truth. She was on her knees, one hand over her wound and the other grasping the gun pointed at Kitt's face. There was no doubt she'd use it.

"Then shoot me. Take the life I shouldn't have been given in the first place."

Sloane never got the chance. Just when she looked like she might, Reyes finally had the guts to shoot Sloane himself.