#whose perspective do we think this is bc I have no clue... I think its sadder from wwx pov but I made with with jc in mind

[fairy-orchid]

The more I stare The more memories that overflow.

@asiandramanet ⋆.˚ jan-feb bingo ⋆.˚ transition

song lyrics from -> ​imase - NIGHT DANCER 

[thedreadvampy]

dude from one white person to another sometimes you just need to learn to speak less. like not every conversation needs to involve your opinion. especially regarding people of colour talking about racism and colonialism. its ok to just sit one out.

dude from one white person to another and with the greatest possible respect: you do not know me.

I assume this is about the food post, which I've now said several times was a stupid thing to post.

(I hope it's not about the follow-up posts as well, because the thing is this is my blog and I'm posting in conversation with myself. people engaging with that is extraordinarily optional and I don't think it's great praxis to never say what you think it loud, because if you don't say it then you will never be forced to examine it. this isn't a direct rebuttal to your point though - yeah it's not great to drop that shit into a conversation other people are having - but I feel like often the two are conflated as if ever talking about shit you don't have knowledge on is always Invading A Conversation. which it is when it's in response to someone who wasn't talking to you. but it's not to talk about it on your own blog or to answer when asked. so. that's a sidebar.)

why do I say 'you don't know me'? because the internet is a weird place that is at once very social and very alienated. I fuck up and derail conversations I think largely bc of a combination of 3 reasons

a) I have forgotten that there's someone on the end of the post, I am talking to myself using a post as a jumping off point

b) I am carrying over a conversation/thought from a different context (in this case seeing a lot of posts about this from explicitly white Americans) and dropping it on someone whose Problem It Is Not

c) or indeed May Not Be because the thing about online interactions is: we only know what we're told. you know I'm white because I told you. I know you're white because you told me. I still have no idea if the OP of that post is white or not, if they're British or not, what perspective they're talking from - in real life, if I walk into a conversation between people of colour, I usually know that's what I'm doing. Online, and especially in an online culture in which conversations about race and culture are very universalised, I only know if they choose to tell me and/or if I already know them. and as we can see by the interaction we're having right now, a lot of white people have very confident assertions to make about race from a place of theory-heavy experience-light learning so actually it is often very hard to tell whether it's an 'I am charging into a conversation between people of colour and being loudly ignorant' or an 'I am disagreeing with another white person and at least one of us has some learning to do'

TO BE CLEAR. None of this makes it less harmful or less annoying when I do fuck up and stick my oar in where it doesn't belong. It is about reason not about justification, and tbh yeah I have fucked up plenty, I am trying to fuck up less but I will continue to fuck up.

But I say you don't know me because it's wild to me that you're extrapolating from 'didn't shut up once' to 'never doesn't have to be the one talking' because you DO NOT KNOW ME. you only see the things I do respond to, not the stuff I don't. and this isn't something I can judge either, really. I try not to talk over people, but I'm also aware I often struggle to not talk when silence would be better. I try to be led by others in this. There are people I trust because I know they will call me out on this shit. But you aren't one of them. You don't know me, you are not my friend, and by your own account nor are you a person speaking from a position of experience. They're not........your conversations I'm invading (in which case your frustration would be justified), and you don't have a clue whether this is a recurrent problem, a few mistakes, or a consistent pattern. You're correct that IN THIS INSTANCE I am speaking carelessly and out of turn, with an entitlement born of ignorance. You are absolutely right to say "these posts are Bad Posts." But it is full on nuts to me that you feel able to take the position of talking down to me about my universal relationship to Talking About Race when as far as I can tell you are no more an expert on Me or on The Experience Of Racism than I am. Honestly fuck off I'm tired of this shit. I will be led by people who know what they're talking about. In this case the conclusion that draws me to is 'my approach was pure dogshit and my opinion was flawed' but that's, uh. That's not your call. If you want to not see me you can block me. Otherwise be fuckin specific, don't make broad generalisations about how you assume I probably think.

[transrightsjimin]

holy fuck i slept over 9 hours in one go??? from almost 3 am till 12.15 pm??? i dreamt smth abt a dinner party thing where the chairs were all pretty high but that also allowed you to reach further over the table and pick more food. there was also smth about a sort of contest or quiz or trying to find clues bc my family nd others were in a hall, seated by tables tht were in a circle nd they filled in or marked their personal answers, for like 12 themed with each 15 questions nd i thought 'oh if i take pictures of their answers and compare them i might have a code that i will need'. the quiz thing was in this industrial looking building w a lot of grey nd pipes etc and i / the main character pov (idk who i was / whose perspective i saw everything through) walked through the building trying to find clues. maybe the dinner party was after that, idk. then my parents stated they wanted to go home nd i would go w them but a lot of seasonal fall decorations like moss and flower attachments for plant pots, as well as my lolita clothes (but mainly not ones i really own, rather they were often tacky bodyline ones) were scattered across the dining area though the tables seemed to be gone. also i had to quickly put on my lolita clothes bc someone else did too and it was like a contest of who was faster so the one who won got to win my clothes, i think?? i accidently put knee socks w a motif(?) woven into it underneath my tights, and i was given a blouse that does not match w my cinderella bunny bodyline skirt (which i do own nd was the only nice item in the dream) like it was that white ouji / gothic lolita bodyline blouse w black jabot and its ok and all but did not fit the style of the skirt so i swapped it for another blouse which i apparently did have and then the other person won. also i had a shitton of lolita shoes but no place to put them bc my room is already too full of stuff nd so i made a madeshift shoe rack out of cardboard boxes, but that one took up top much space too. but that was at the start of the dream. during the end of the dinner party i think i had a gf?? or evil companion or maybe there were multiple ppl but we tried to bond over cringey hobbiesnd communicated by whispering nd telepathy etc.