#why am i claire tbh

[woodlandscab1n]

Cleon insanity when Claire is like "hey have you ever wanted kids" and Leons whole world comes collapsing on itself yet again because actually, he has just Not thought about them, he never thought he'd be in a position where he could just have a family ever in his life as of yet, and when he did think about it he pushed it away because he thought he'd never be good at it anyways given his circumstances.

And the worst thing, Claire knows this. But she wants to invite him to try that kind of life both of them know it will be extremely difficult to achieve. Because she wants him to know he's still human, and isn't incapable of living what one would describe as the normal life to live just because of his past, or trauma. She herself also deals with the struggle if she'll ever be able to have a life like that, like she sort of imagined when she was a child. Perhaps not children, but...just make a family out of her partner. Spouses, making life what they want, making a home, traveling, making something together. She still holds the hope she can have that, and that other's can.

That's why she fights so hard so that other's can also live that life, or any life they desire without fearing they'd be incapable to do so given the state of the world. Making a family, marrying, having a partner or someone to take care of is now something that could so easily turn into you needing to kill them in the end, or them killing you, or both of you. But she won't let that get in the way of her or other's happiness because she believes connection is the most important thing in a human life.

And she wants that for Leon, share that with him.

Anyways t4t cleon 4eva. be happy, trans your gender, queer it up yall.

[andersonsprincess]

Clarisse La Rue - Training

characters - clarisse , demigod!reader (fem in mind but i think it could be read as gn)

contents - mild swearing, probably ooc, luke mentioned, no god/goddess parent mentioned just not hermes or ares, confession

word count - 460

a/n - kinda awkward tbh, lots of yapping towards the end 😭, this took me a while bc i couldn't figure out an ending

it was an incredibly hot summers day. most campers were in the shade or hiding from the blistering heat in their cabins, but of course you and clarisse were in the forest practicing techniques. that's something she loved about you. you're willing to spar with her any given time.

the two of you had been at it for about an hour and a half. the sounds of metal clashing rang through the forest and your ears.

clarisse's movements were swift and sharp as they always were. confidence and strength behind every swing. and she was always so careful when sparring with you. her intentions were to teach you not hurt you. a stark contrast from her spars with other campers.

"you surrendering, sweetheart?" the way she said it was so condescending.

you were on the ground panting, your sword in her hand as well as hers.

"as if."

you grab your dagger out of its sheath oh your hip and attack her head on.

the dagger stuns her for a second allowing you to-

"nice try, princess."

she knocks you back down, her foot resting comfortably on your stomach.

"but i am impressed. where'd you learn that from? i didn't teach you that..."

she lifts her foot and you sit you sit up.

"i was," you sigh. "i was asking luke for tips in sword fighting."

a look of confusion flashes on her face.

"castellan? why him? you have me."

you smirk at her. "jealous, clarisse?"

she laughs at you. "me? jealous of castellan? you've lost your mind princess."

"that's not a no."

"i am not sharing you with luke."

"i'm not yours."

"not yet."

that caught you off guard.

"what-"

"i'll be damned if i lose you to luke castellan."

your face heats up at that. "what are you saying?"

she rolls her eyes and groans. "i'm saying i...like you. idiot."

she continues. "you're pretty, smart, funny, talented-"

"oh incredibly so."

she rolls her eyes and hits you playfully. "this is serious, dumbass."

"i know, i know. i like you too clair."

her cheeks darken slightly. "quit calling me that!"

"you know you like it!"

the two of you laugh for a while. then she turns her head and looks at you deeply. her deep brown eyes staring in to yours. you slowly creep your hand towards hers and intertwine her fingers with yours. the look in her eyes, a beautiful juxtaposition to her behavior in battle. she looks at you lovesick. that girl would kill anyone for you. it was strangely flattering, others would call you crazy. the girl with nothing but pride and destruction in her eyes when fighting, looks at you with nothing but pure adoration.

you are going to be the death of each other.

[outmakingmoonshine]

I was just writing a post about the Carmy/Faks scene & how it's really just Carmy talking to himself. For this scene the two Faks represent his inner voices/subconscious (which might only apply to this scene idk), but then I decided to see what all these scenes looked like together and wow am I glad I did!! Seeing these 4 scenes side by side is very interesting.

The first two scenes in 3x05 & 3x07 mirror each other, the last two scenes in 3x09 mirror each other and all 4 of them tell their own story together. The first scene is Carmy's talking to himself but shouting & aiming it at anyone who's listening. The 2nd is Syd talking to herself but mostly mumbling so only she can hear. In the Faks scene Carmy's having an "imaginary" conversation out loud with two people, just like Syd's doing in the last scene rehearsing what she might say to both Adam Shapiro and Carmy.

And if you rearrange these scenes & put the first 2 after the Faks scene, if we saw/heard those sarcastic "that makes sense" comments after we saw the "Claire is peace" scene in that exact same location, it would've been a lot easier to figure out what they're really referring to!

There are lots of layers to unpack here but I'm gonna talk about the main things that jump out at me. This is probably gonna be a bit chaotic with different ideas and breakdowns of what things could mean so I hope it's not too confusing. Anyone else feel free to jump in with your thoughts.

Below the cut

Notice how in all these scenes, except one, Carmy and Syd are alone talking out loud to themselves, vocalizing their inner thoughts. Mute the video and just read the subtitles if you need to. The scene with the Faks reads like a conversation with imaginary friends or like the two funny inner voices of a character in a comedy movie. All these scenes are like they're from a comedy movie tbh.

In the first two scenes Carmy & Syd act the same way they both deal with their problems (Carmy shouting about it to anyone who'll listen and Syd pissed but mostly keeping it quiet/to herself). They're the only ones actually inside the dumpster in all the scenes which makes me think it represents their minds and the boxes are the mental chaos & thoughts they're trying to sort through. The Faks are technically outside Carmy's mind/the dumpster so they don't speak from the mind or for the mind but they're close to it, communicating with it & "helping" sort through the chaos. Maybe the dumpster represents the conscious mind and the Faks are Carmy's subconscious. It sounds like The Faks are encouraging Carmy to fall back into his base programming, which people often tend to do when they're lost and don't know what to do. They're trying to convince him to call Claire bc Carmy's base programming from his family is "Claire is good". That's what safe to him bc it's a "truth" he's always known & believed. Idk there's many possibilities. It's also Interesting how later this episode The Faks go to Claire and speak directly for Carmy like they know for sure what he's thinking & feeling.

Lets get into the dialogue of the first two scenes:

"[Carmy] That makes sense. [box clatters] Boxes full of bullshit. Put it on the f*cking list. Oh, it's good. I'll do it. I got it. I got it."

Just a side note: The next line in the script is "I don't know wha-what I'm supposed to do with all this stuff" from Marcus in the next scene where he's clearing out all his mum's stuff with Syd.

"[Syd] 'Cause why would you do it? I mean, you're supposed to do it. This is-- This is fine. This is good. This makes sense. This is f*cking… F*ck. F*ck. [pants] [muttering] F*ck. [growls] fcking-- Where are the fcking Faks? F*ck!"

I don't even know where to start, there's so many ways to read this!

Carmy said one specific thing in the Faks scene that very clearly "didn't make sense"...Claire is peace. He knows that's not true but I think the point is he's been avoiding thinking about who his peace actually is all S3*. Carmy & Syd are both sarcastically saying "that makes sense" like it's subtly referring to that scene later in the same place. Was the panic attack scene by the same dumpsters? Idk someone let me know please.

*Carmy said in 3x07 he tries to avoid thinking about legacy. The only legacy we know of is the one he's trying to build with Syd both professionally and personally. His realization that Syd's brings him peace in the panic attack in 2x09 is the reality of his legacy that he's been trying to avoid all S3. He's working to get her his star and creating dishes inspired by her so Syd's cearly on his mind but the one thing he should be thinking about and talking to her about, he's avoiding.

There are many different layers of possible meaning and/or foreshadowing in this dialogue, but one layer it can be read is how they're both thinking/feeling about the Claire situation bc even tho Syd didn't mention it all season it's still there between them. Maybe none of this is about Claire, but if it was:

Carmy: "[sarcastically] that makes sense"...claire is "peace". "Boxes full of bullsh*t"...he's full of bullshit that Claire's his peace?!! Or maybe Claire is in the boxes of bullshit aka his baggage and past trauma he needs to sort through? "Put it on the "f*cking list"...put Claire on the list of his stress & baggage? And a very sarcastic "Oh it's good. I'll do it. I got it. I got it." He'll do what he's "supposed to do" with Claire & call her/apologize/maybe even be with her even tho it clearly sounds like he doesn't want to..?? He's "got it"...even though he clearly doesn't. "It's good" but she's clearly not The Good Thing™.

Syd: "Cause why wouldn't you do it? I mean you're supposed to do it"...why won't carmy just sort himself out? why wont he just call claire/be with claire since Syd thinks that's what he wants & she acts in front of him like "it's not her place to be [beside him on a personal level]" almost direct quote from her in 3x09. She's probabaly confused why Carm just wont be with Claire. From Syd's perspective he changed his mind about her and chose Claire in S2, so the next logical step is he'd be with Claire. "This is fine. This is good. This makes sense."...carmy saying claire is peace & also probably how she'll react out loud if carmy/claire get back together. "This is f*cking… F*ck. F*ck. [pants] [muttering] F*ck. [growls] fcking--"...this is how she really feels about the whole Claire situation & Carmy just ditching her & "changing shit" (that came up a lot this season), which ultimately led to him not treating her like a partner in their professional relationship. "Where are the fcking Faks? F*ck!"...a direct lead in to Carmy's scene in the exact same place 2 episodes later.

Sydney's dialogue in 3x07 scene also reads like a run-on of Carmy's dialogue in 3x05, continuing his thoughts trying to convince himself of what he should do with Claire but he's panicking so he calls for the Fak's, his imaginary friends/inner voices, who are there with him the next time we see him in that spot. From the dialogue it makes sense but idk if we've ever seen the show do that with Syd before so idk. Sydney is clearly definied as her own character but she is definied as a mirror of Carmy too so it's a possibility.

Of course this is all interpretation, some or none of this could be directly about Claire but idk. The location (esp if it's in the same place he had the 2x09 panic attack), all the "coincidental" dialogue, the way all these scenes tie together...and with the panic attack scene and the opposing realizations Carmy comes to about Syd & Claire in 2x09 & 3x09. It wasn't a "realization" about Claire in 3x09, he didn't even look like he believed what he was saying tbh. It looked like he just made it up on the spot.

It's also interesting that these scenes by the dumpsters are the quivalent of S1 & 2's walk in scenes where both Syd & Carmy go for a moment of peace to clear their thoughts and "cool off". We don't see those this season but we do get these which is more like them sorting out all the chaotic thoughts & feelings inside them, separating the "trash" from the good stuff, "the bad from the good" like Carmy said he wanted/needed to do to achieve his legacy in 3x07.

In the Faks scene listen to all the "we" and "us" talk;

"If we did it when it was scheduled. We do though. We do it, Carm. All we do is break down boxes. We break 'em down and we have to do it again. Who would wanna haunt us? Who's pissed at us? Sammy's pissed at us."

Until Claire is mentioned (a sobering thought for Carmy) and it's suddenly "Not us. Just you. Not us." Reality hit for a moment and the imaginary friends want to separate themselves from him because they're not "real" & they didn't upset Claire so she can't be mad at them. I think Carmy is the only "real" one in this scene. The Faks are the imaginary friends/inner voices that seem like they're helping the main character but they're really just causing more chaos and leading him down the wrong path because they're misunderstanding what he wants based on what he's forcing himself to think about; Claire. (I lowkey think Carmy's forcing memories of Claire to stop himself from thinking about Sydney.)

The transition of Carmy talking to himself with The Fak's representing two parts of his mind aka "two minds" going straight into Syd talking to herself & voicing out loud what she'd say to both Shapiro and Carmy like she's having a mental conversation with two different people and that she's in "two minds". "I wanted to start off by saying I'm grateful" sounds formal and directed at Adam Shapiro. "Ok so I wanted to talk to you..." sounds more personal and directed at Carmy. It's a similar concept of being in two minds used in a slightly different context but in this show and the writing specifically, context is all over the place anyway.

Also the transition into the Syd scene is to drive home the point that Carmy was just having a conversation with himself, trying to convince himself that Claire is peace, she's "good" etc. For this scene (and possibly this scene only) Theodore is the stubborn part of Carmy that doesn't like to be pushed around who thinks stuff like "Yeah but I'd see his ass" about Sammy Fak. And you know there's a part of Carmy that would have that attitude but the conscious part of him is smarter than that. Neil is the more sweet, anxious side of Carmy that is kind of "away with the fairies" a little bit, in his own head a lot. Carmy is the regular, conscious, "real" Carmy trying to figure out the mental mess he's in.

I think transitioning into that Syd scene was also to callback to the only other times Syd or Carmy spoke aloud to themselves. I might be forgetting something but I think all these scenes are the only times we see either of them have full conversations with themselves out loud in S3..? Someone let me know if that's wrong please.

Side note- From one perscpective: Carmy's reaction to Theodore calling Claire "a piece of ass" was so...unaffected??! Could you imagine if someone said that about Syd?? He bit Richie's head off for calling her "sweetheart" in 1x01 and physically put himself between them so I can't imagine he'd take it that lightly if it was about Syd...From another perpective, if this scene is all about Carmy's inner thoughts, is he asking himself if that's how he sees Claire? I don't think he does intentionally but it's a valid question considering the show seems to use physical intimacy as a substitute for any real connection between them. If Claire & Carmy never kissed or had sex, would anyone see that relationship as a romance?? I really don't think so tbh, the physical initmacy is the only thing about their scenes that confirms it's supposed to be seen as a romance. Meanwhile SydCarmy are drowning in real connection before any physical intimacy.

Anyone please feel free to jump in and add your thoughts, I'd love to know your perspectives on seeing all these scenes together @thoughtfulchaos773 @sydcarmyfan @yannaryartside @currymanganese @vacationship @afrofairysblog @greekyogurttragedy @tvfantic87 @moodyeucalyptus @gingergofastboatsmojito @ambeauty @whenmemorydies @brokenwinebox and anyone else who wants to jump in is welcome to.

[brellafaun]

UNHINGEDPOSTING YIPPEE

today's episode is what build a bears i think the brellies would have/get. they take five as sibling bonding and he pretends to hate it but secretly loves it. allison records all of the heart ceremonies and cherishes the videos forever. i'm truly losing it i miss them so much

LUTHER ♡

luther would 1000% appreciate a golden retriever build a bear. he probably really wanted a dog as a kid but reggie wouldn't let him, so this would be kinda like healing that inner part of him (also rebelling against what reggie said!! win!!!). he would probably name it something like rover or scout and get the pumpkin spice scent and some jammies for it.

DIEGO ♡

shaggy highland cow. lila would tease him while they're looking at bears by saying their hair matches. it would only motivate him to get it out of spite. cannot think of a name while at the store, comes up with one once he's home. either gets one of the button ups with a funky print or an all black outfit with combat boots, with no in between. definitely a birthday cake scent guy.

ALLISON ♡

pawlette girlie all the way. classic, but not outdated. likely matches with a bear claire has. she would commit too hard to the bit and spend way too long trying to find the perfect outfit, maybe something that matches whatever she's wearing when they go. gets either sunglasses or one of the fake lattes as an accessory. either pumpkin spice scented or strawberry.

KLAUS ♡

rainbow bearlien no i am not taking criticism. maybe a frog, but this is the funnier option tbh. he would assemble the cuntiest little outfit possible for his bear, definitely using the faux leather crop top and some boots. additionally, he might get the emotional support bear shirt. takes the heart ceremony and birth certificates extremely seriously and gets his laminated. lavender scent ftw (maybe even gets his bear weighted?? weighted stuffed animals are great for anxiety tbh)

FIVE ♡

timeless teddy bear because. he's timeless. okay listen that was funnier in my head. but i feel like he'd dig this guy because it's more like something he would've actually had as a kid. maybe it'd be like a bear he did have, sewn together by Grace. he would pretend that he doesn't want it, but he absolutely does. gets a little suit and shoes to match his (that, or he gets the emotional support bear shirt). the scents are probably a little too on the sweet side for his liking. (if she had planned it out in advance, allison would've gotten him one of the ones that has embroidery on the foot. it'd probably be something simple and grounding for when he's stressed.) immediately emotionally attached. the employees ask if it's his birthday at least twice.

BEN ♡

jennifur the cat. we all know why. but in all seriousness, i think he'd dig this one because he's got a secret soft spot for cats. it's also pretty separated from the aquatic animals, and doesn't remind him of the horror at all. gets a zip-up hoodie and jeans to match his. potentially gets a voice message in the paw, something from klaus or the whole family. fresh cut flowers scent.

VIKTOR ♡

buffalo check pawlette just kinda fits the vibe? idk man, it clicks in my brain just right. the ears and paw pads are a good texture and he jives with it. joins mr. snuggles in the lofty position of on the bed. emotional support bear shirt, little denim jacket, jeans, and boots. maybe the plaid pajamas if he's feeling a more cozy vibe. lavender scent for sure. doesn't get a box and carries it with him as they leave.

LILA ♡

mothman. she's the family's own little cryptid. it works. finds the goofiest sleeper she can and bunny slippers. gives him a ridiculously intricate name like Sir Cornelius Weston XXVII. gets diego to record a voice message for her and refuses to tell anyone what it says (it's just him saying "I love you"). laughs at five doing the heart ceremony and refuses to do it when it's her turn. cotton candy scent

...........hargreeves family going to build a bear fic when

[marsprincess889]

Ketu placement and your most core self

So i want to talk about my personal experience about an artist I love, how she has been haunting me throughout my life and about how art imitates life.

I have ketu in jyeshta nakshatra,(and shoutout to all my 2002 babies with ketu in jyeshta, love u) and at age 10 i discovered an artist whose name i've heard of but never knew. I clicked on a song that youtube recommended called "Back to December" and i really do remember it so clearly, how natural it was and how i wasn't thinking as i branded Taylor Swift (sun in jyeshta) my favourite artist. I remember explaining passionately to my dad why I loved this song and how it differed from RED and how those songs were my safe space because while i had to try hard for anything else, this was natural and easy and just perfect.

Here i credit claire nakti, who you should know if you're interested in vedic astrology. She made a video about ketu and creativity and one's "daemon" that is really worth checking out.

Moving on, ketu is your creative, primal energy that is unaware. It's the headless body, the tail of the serpent, our past, where we come from, what is natural for us, past lives and untamed power. For example, as a ketu in jyeshta native I've always felt close to the hero archetype (I even wrote a song about that around that time), the poor orphan who rises into the world, the brave soldier who outsmarts everyone, the survivor, the winner against all odds, the grumpy independent individual, and even as a young girl, the archetype of the eldest daughter, which I actually am. I've always felt a little masculine at my core, and this explains why, as jyeshta is very masculine. All these archetypes I associate with jyeshta.

Jyeshta is known as "the best". You can only be the best if everyone else is worse, so we have the theme of competition. Jyeshta is located fully in Scorpio, and is very much about the occult side of life. It's shakti (power) is "to rise, conquer and gain courage in battle" (multiple sources). I know personally that jyeshta will never let you win an argument or back away from tension, the exception is only when there's no need to. My jyeshta moon cousin makes me so mad because he's always trying to lecture me to appear smart. That's definitely a more negative manifestation of its energy.

Anyways, in her video, claire nakti says that if you feel drawn to some art, it's been most likely created by someone with their primary placement in your ketu nakshatra. Now, this is not a rule, as I've definitely liked other artists, but Taylor's music felt too personal and custom-made for me, like she knew my taste and life from inside out.

Flash forward to summer 2019 and Taylor has released Lover, I'm sitting on a hill and cannot believe how Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince is so perfect, so me.

I went through my reputation era when she went through it, i went through a personal rebirth as she released Lover, I felt depressed and alone when I finished my school and she released folklore (tbh most of us did(SOLIDARITY TO CLASS OF 2020 MAKE SOME NOISE)) . Around that time I disovered Dickinson(a tv show) and here is my next point.(?)

Dickinson stars Hailee Steinfeld(jyeshta sun) as Emily Dickinson(also jyeshta sun), and it's about her life, yes, but mostly it's about Emily's creativity. There's a character called death that I believe relresents Emily's daemon(watch claire nakti's video for more clarity, but basically it's the opposite sex version of you, your creative self, and is represented by your ketu). Death appears whenever Emily feels different, like she needs time alone to herself and rides with him in his carriage, he also empowers her. Interestingly, Hailee Steinfeld's ketu is in Uttara Bhadrapada, which is Wiz Khalifa's(death) moon. That, in my eyes, solidifies the theory that he's representing her daemon.

I had discovered claire nakti recently at that time and also discovering this art that felt very personal to me was a little overwhelming, not to mention that i was going through a VERY stressful time in my life. As i grew so did my creative energy and I reached a certain block, but now I look at my art from that time and it's so... raw and pure and true. Tbh that time was extremely traumatic for me and it's traumatic to remember it but hey, I'm so much better now. I started my ketu antardasha at that time and it ended in february 2021. Still hard to remember yes, but I heard ketu dashas always are, you always come out more beautiful and true out of it tho 🙂.

So, be careful with ketu energies, they're not for us to misuse. There's always Venus after ketu so it's another reason to smile.

Please interact with me if any of this was interesting or felt familiar. Not all posts are going to be like this, in fact, I think they're gonna be more rare. This was a really serious post and brought up some stuff in me ngl. I really didn't deserve to go through the trauma, nobody does. But it's not all consuming, it was nothing really, it was just traumatic at the time. Anyways this is becoming a lot so wait for more aesthetic posts, I'm venusian after all 💖💖💖 love u guys, take care. 🤍

[run-of-the-milf]

Things I actually liked about TUA s4:

Discovery channel song

Viktor standing up to Reggie and their kinda bonding moments

Claire!

The holiday festival town with all the creepy people

The subway!!!

Lila's family

Megan Mullaly and Nick Offerman's characters

Viktor in general tbh

Alison crushing that pimp's nutsack

Things I didn't like about TUA s4:

The vomiting scene

Ben's entire character was unbearable

Whatever the fuck they did to Diego's character

Alison's "why am I always the bad guy" routine is getting old

Why did they even put in Klaus's sex trafficking plotline

Five & Lila getting lost in the subway

Ben & Jennifer's soulmate bullshit and the terrible cgi of the Cleanse

No buildup to the end, they just abruptly decided to kill themselves

"But I'm not that mean version of Reggie. I'm nice now, see! I have a wife and I'm nice to her and that makes all my abuse justified!"

Seriously why does it feel like they want us to feel sorry for Reginald at the end. It's his fault for impregnating their mothers with the marigold. He is the reason for all this.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The case of Carmen Berzatto

You might wanna skip this one.

The reason why so many people in the fandom are quick to judge Carmy is that they are projecting and they are coming from a self-referential place that can only enable them to think in terms of: "What would I do in his place? How would I act if I were in his shoes? etc"...

Furthermore and most importantly, that self-referential place is, in most cases, completely deprived of the same amount and quality of trauma he went through and is still going through.

I have only one thing to say about that: If you are going to be quick to pass judgment on a character, fine. Do it. But do it well.

Get in his shoes. Understand him. Understand his background, his motives, his hopes, fears, dreams, and everything in between, and then I wanna hear what you have to say about them. Sure. Can't fucking wait for your valuable input. But if you are gonna zombify them and just basically talk about yourself in the third person, impersonating them, thanks. I'd rather watch Claire drive Carmy around making bad jokes about dead brothers.

And one more thing, Carmen Berzatto is white, yes we know. Thanks for your insightful comment about his race. And that should not affect how we judge him. In the same way, Syd's race should not affect how people see her and judge her. I hope we can all agree on that.

I am 100% there with the anty-misogynoir movement, and against ANY type of racism. Always have been, actually. Before The Bear even existed in Storer's head. I had advocated for Sydcarmy Endgame since day 1 (technically since Braciole) and one of the reasons why I will die on the Sydcarmy Hill, never jump ship, etc, is because I think that at this point Sydcarmy is a political statement among a million other things. I get behind this interracial ship more than I get behind pizza without pineapple topping, which is one of my non-negotiables IRL and has always been. If I read 1 more time a 0 empathic comment about him based on the fact that he is and I quote: "a white boy" I will throw up all over my laptop or phone and will hunt down the fucker who made me blurf and bill them for the replacement of my devices.

So summing up: When we are quick to judge and demand of others things that we couldn't possibly excel at ourselves, we become hypocrites. This is fine if we are aware of it and make a conscious decision to do so. -TBH no one can stop you-. But not if we do not take responsibility for our own hypocrisy. We can't demand from others what we can't provide ourselves.

[justmossyall]

about me <3

hi! the name’s claire. she/her, a minor, INFJ, aggressively neurodivergent

a bit about me: i’m a christian, an author, an artist and an actor. i am obsessed with the fiber arts and am probably developing arthritis due to the many hours i spend embroidering. i’m a huge dork and love infodumping about my favorite things, so my asks are always open if you want me to rant to you 😎

the general stuff: no nsfw, don’t be weird, just remember that i am legally (and honestly mentally) a child before you say anything weird or are mean to me lol. also i have pretty bad anxiety and emetophobia, idk why that would ever come up but I figured I would mention it??? just…………….don’t stress me out or mention vomit ig????? bro idek anyways

side blogs because i have an obsession:

this is my main, a lot of reblogs about the things i like

my horrendous thoughts @justmossyaps

christian things @justjesusyall

art blog @justartyall

writing blog @justmosswrites

fiber arts 🤯😍 @justthreadyall

photography blog @raindropsonmushroomcaps

ask game! drama ask game! can you tell i like ask games! here’s a fourth one!

shows i like: gravity falls, arcane, bluey, bee and puppycat, amazing digital circus, toh, wandavision (not a marvel fan in general but i love that show), dance moms (don’t judge im a sucker for reality tv), and way too many kids shows. what can i say my mental age is like 4 (@person4924 and @sweetronancer know octonauts is where it’s at 😭)

movies i like: first of all i am a huge ghibli fan 😭 anyways the tinker bell movies, ratatouille, wall-e, the muppet movies, spiderman: into/across the spiderverse, brave, random 90s movies that I watch with my parents

books i like: psych im not listing all those, there’s way too many 😭 (kotlc and the scythe series are my favs though)

games i like: undertale/deltarune/undertale yellow (y’all should know by now how obsessed i am with that franchise), stardew valley, animal crossing, zelda botw (i have not played totk yet :( im hoping to soon though!), ddlc

special interests: undertale/deltarune/undertale yellow, psychology (especially neurodivergencies, specifically autism and tic disorders), writing, gravity falls, arcane, bee and puppycat, some very oddly specific medical stuff (mostly things like autoimmune disorders and the like, i just hate gore and tbh the cardiovascular system in general), kotlc, bluey, coding, embroidery/textiles/fiber arts, linguistics/etymology, clowns for some reason??? girl idk don’t ask

i do a lot of writing, my first novel is actually fully drafted and i’m hoping to have it edited within the next 2 years so i can publish :) other than that main one + my other main-ish novel i have about ten million wips 😭

as mentioned above i am also an artist, i mostly just draw though i also embroider and dabble in clay and watercolor. my art blog is linked above so you can go check that out :)

i also do photography! it’s not a very serious hobby but i enjoy it, photography acc is also linked above.

i actually also make music???? lmaoooo yeah here’s my soundcloud it’s @\lofiwithsunny. i just write crappy instrumentals using soundtrap loops, but it’s fun and i think they sound pretty nice :)

i’m also an actor (yes i like to suffer creatively in many ways) so naturally i’m quite dramatic. i frequent the 😭 emoji and often use all caps. i love to sing though and i love music so if you have any cool songs you think i would like feel free to send them to me. OBSESSED with the oh hellos

speaking of which, my spotify is also @/justmossyall if you want to search me up. here are a few of my fav playlists ~ ~ ~

also as mentioned above, i am a christian! if you ever want me to pray for you or are curious about the faith, my asks and dms are always open :)

i am neurodivergent, suspected autism among other things (i’m not able to seek a diagnosis rn but i plan on seeking one when i can). im also having a lot of health issues recently. i’m not sure if it’s POTS, long COVID, fibromyalgia, or a combination of these things, or something different all together—either way, it’s been a pretty rough year for me. i’ve got pretty bad brain fog, chronic pain, fatigue, dizziness/presyncope, migraines, and i have bad episodes of almost passing out, heart palpitations, etc. idk what’s up but it’s been a journey lol :’)

because of that (plus the fact that the subject overlaps with a lot of my special interests) there will be a lot of disability posting/reblogging here. i hesitate to speak up about it sometimes because im not professionally diagnosed with anything, and im a minor so i dont have much experience in life with these things, but i’ve got kind of a lot of stuff going on with me and it’s a subject im passionate about, so i’ll have a lot of stuff about that on my blog :)

honestly send me asks whenever you want, i am incredibly bored all of the time and love making new friends <3 literally rant to me about anything idrc but i apologize if i don’t answer for a while lol, i go through on and off phases of being on this site

i guess that’s about it?? love you guys have a wonderful day!! <3

[dicapiito]

Really not liking that The Bear put out a statement that Syd and Carmy won’t be romantic. Not because I’m a shipper but it feels like they wanna appease the racist fans who don’t want them together. They should’ve said nothing tbh and let the season play out.

Plus I wouldn’t think that would happen until at least season 4 at the earliest since Claire was pretty recent so why would that romance even be talked about as it is? So while it’s not going to ruin my experience of the show; I am side eyeing the statement as something that’s an eyeroll.

[bright-and-burning]

thank you k @mecachrome i LOVE to yap and i love to see other ppl yapping!!! f1 tag game time!!!

Who is your favorite driver?: lando's grip on my brain should be studied in a lab tbh

Do you have other favorite drivers?: i am fond of many many drivers... oscar obviously is #2 to me. just the tiniest bit below lando, sorry oscar <3 and then there's a medium sized gap to anyone else but i am extremely fond of the williams guys. and i am studying alpine and aston martin like bugs. and i have a lot of blorbo-in-laws that i feel very fond of...

Who is your least favorite driver?: it depends on the day whether i even dislike anyone or not. today i feel neutral and up about everyone!! sometimes i distinctly do Not feel neutral... (usually during races)

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?: i am very driver oriented but obviously my like . internal ideas about drivers are heavily influenced by who their teammate is/what team they're on. and since i've been into f1 the driver lineups have. not changed. so in my head the teams n the driver pairings are pretty immutable (obviously that will Change djfldsakjfa)

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?: i am so deeply attached to the orange bitches 😔 i just watched the season 6 mclaren dts episode and when claire williams went “the likelihood of a team being able to turn around their performance to any kind of significant degree during a season? i can’t tell you how difficult it is. it’s pretty much unheard of” i just smiled SOOOO evil. sooooo evil. i believe in andrea stella's hot nerd vibes bless that man

How long have you been into F1?: since uhhhh approximately one week after qatar 2023. made this account right around cota 2023

What got you into F1?: twitter algorithm put some tweets about the shitshow that was qatar on my timeline (literally one of them was just. a little of names and like . blank threw up. blank was hospitalized. blank couldnt get off the ground.) and i was like:

(why is that picture SOOO large) and also i had been admiring the f1 web weaves for a while bc i would look at the 'web weave' tag and half of them would be f1 and i was like wow. these guys have a collective shit ton of daddy issues. fascinating... tbf!!! i have always been sports brain lol. just never quite rpf sports brained? so the stars aligned for this fr (recommended tweets, f1 web weaves, and me being unemployed, geographically isolated from all my friends, and severely depressed)

Do you enjoy Fanfic/RPF?: yes . i am constantly cooking . everyone here is soooo smart and cool and the writing is genuinely so incredible. and 8104 specifically has just like. a really dope bunch of ppl ive become friends with that i am constantly like. wow i cant believe these ppl want to talk to me!!! (k you are included in that <3)

How do you view new fans?: by looking in the mirror... djfladsj jk. i am a new fan! i am not a ""dts fan"" (have literally watched two episodes Ever and one of them was today) but none of it matters and i don't really find those kind of lines to be helpful. i have disagreed with ""dts fans"" and i have disagreed w ppl who started watching before i was born and i'd do it all again (this probably says more abt how opinionated i am than anything else)

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?: personally i am delusionally confident enough to believe i could run that bitch like the MARINES. at the very least i would not be running my mouth like toto lol. vibes wise idk if i could do it at Any Team (like. imagine mercedes being run by a punchy american woman. LMFAO. imagine FERRARI) (i'd say mclaren for papaya reasons but a) andrea stella i could never replace you and b) i think i would set zak brown's fuckin sports car on fire day 1.) but based on location only alpine!!

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?: uhhhh no. my dad went to exactly one motorsports event when he was like my age maybe a year or two younger and saw a really horrific deadly crash so that ended any family interest. my friends are mega sports ppl but they're into like. american popular sports. and running. i do have a tifosi coworker and a couple friends from high school who are into it but that's it

Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?: yes!!!!! i am so horrifically extroverted i love to chat i love to make friends!!! i am in so many ppl's dms on the Daily just sayin shit to the point where im like maybe i should cool it. lol.

tagginggggg @monacotrophywife @freeuselandonorris @liamlawsonlesbian andddd @red-flagging if you want !!!! this was fun n i love hearing how ppl got into f1 bc i feel like i might've taken an odd route

[gingerylangylang1979]

What I would need to get fully on board with Carmy x Sydney again.

So, I have like one toe still in the Carmy x Sydney ship and that is even still tentative based on what we see in a third season and beyond. My biggest concern is just how Carmy has treated her over two seasons. After season one I thought he was redeemable and thought this season they could possibly move towards a healthy relationship, personally and professionally. We didn’t get that at all. If anything it got worse. I just don’t like him right now. Not for Sydney, and not even for Claire TBH. He’s just a bad partner for anyone on all levels. I can’t ship someone I don’t like with someone I do like. Aside from that I need a better arc for Sydney. 

What I need from Carmy

Woo boy, like everything. Like, what even was his arc? I didn’t expect him to be totally healed and ideal at this point in the story but he was super selfish, condescending, and unreliable to the point of me wanting Syd to bounce again and never return. He didn’t learn from their relationship last season and super takes her for granted. Yes, it’s his business but he’s the one that wanted her back on the team and implied it would be a partnership. He says he wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else but his actions don’t bring receipts. We got none of that. He just came across as your typical self absorbed white hipster entrepreneur with unresolved trauma. It’s not a good look. And then you have Sydney, the ambitious black women protege desperately needing him to step up and he just never does. Doubly bad look. If he can’t be a good partner to her professionally how can I ever expect him to be a good partner romantically? I’m just not convinced he is capable. 

He definitely needs individualized therapy. That group therapy stuff was blah. This makes me think of Ayo saying they could explore them together after therapy and two seasons so it does make me wonder how his issues will be addressed, or not, next season. Also, how many seasons will this show run? Just one more is definitely not enough time to have anything happen at the end. 

He also needs to not be wrapped up in Claire. I do think they were in love with each other. It imploded but she could come back. It seemed open ended to me. I don’t want Carmy endlessly pining over another woman or being conflicted between Claire and Sydney. She would need to be the clear choice in so many ways. The last thing I would want is it to be kind of a we work together and it’s convenient, why not kind of thing because that just does say second choice. 

I would need Carmy to show the attraction, longing, and romance he did with Claire. And I wouldn’t want anything he did with Claire to be repeated. Am I a bit jealous of what they showed? Yes, because a lot of those moments I would have liked for Syd. Him cooking a meal for her, them doing something fun that’s not work related, telling her she’s beautiful, having cozy intimate moments, and sex. If they were to put him with Syd in the end I doubt we would get that lightness and tenderness between them and that’s sad. I just don’t want it to be, oh we both love food and you’re cool and that’s enough despite me never showing any sexual interest in you. This is especially vital because she is a black woman. It is what it is. We got a few touches from him this season, but that’s like a crumb and could easily be written off as just moving in the same space and friendly, familiar comfort. I need to see him intentionally wanting to touch her. He needs to be shown to want to be her lover and treat her like a princess. She’s deserving of grand gestures. Marcus named a dessert after her, yo! Which leads me to...

I also do want to see him be jealous of another interest for her. I think Marcus is perfect, actually. I always go back to that scene in season one of Sydney pacing back and forth between Carmy and Marcus. It stood out. They didn’t have to include it but they did. After Marcus is rejected by Sydney and they have that blowup Carmy isn’t aware of why the blowup happened. How would he react if he knew? Sydney rejected Marcus for now but if his mom dies I could see them bonding over a lost mother. Even if that doesn’t lead to her reconsidering it could be viewed from the outside as something brewing. How would Carmy feel about her being distracted by someone else like he was?

What I need for Sydney’s arc

I genuinely do get people who don’t want her with Carmy because it potentially sidelines her as being just a girlfriend. But this season she was simply an employee who was doing way too much for an ungrateful boss. She is also struggling with her career decisions. We still don’t even know if The Bear will be successful. Trying to get that star (that he seemed to not care about) and continue a rocky working relationship may burn her out. She’s already vomiting like Carmy did. I either want to see her thrive at The Bear or move on, whatever that looks like. She does not need to be tied to Carmy. Her restaurant tour showed that other chefs value her and are interested in her development. They still never delved too deep into why she left all those other places so I want that explored more. She’s already had her own business, why stick glued to Carmy?

I also want Sydney to have a life outside of the kitchen. But if she wants that star Carmy already told her that can’t be. I just think part of her jealousy over Claire, whether it was about feelings for Carmy or not, is that she saw him having an outside life. If he can, why can’t I? We haven’t seen anyone from beyond the kitchen in her life aside from her dad. Does she have friends? I want her to get that balance, too. 

[mylivejournalsucks]

Bottleneck.

I went to Minneapolis for work: the birthplace of Brenda and Brandon Walsh, the city where Mavis from Young Adult calls home. I was being interviewed at a college in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. I do college talks as often as they'll have me. To be frank, the money is good. I think back to all the colleges I visited back in my Thought Catalog days—Princeton, Yale, UCLA, McGill, Emerson, University of Vermont—when I didn't have an agent and students would ask me what my quote was.

"Um, just pay for my flight and hotel? IDC!" I said.

One time I gathered up the courage to ask for $500. Now I know I could've made more than my yearly salary.

But it's not about the money. Not entirely. I've realized, especially in recent years, that I love dedicating chunks of time to things that have nothing to do with my Real Life. Getting flown to a city I would never go to ordinarily, researching restaurants, eating the local cuisine (aka going on Grindr) feeling beholden to no one, getting to talk to a group of kids who've been spent the last few years living primarily with Ideas, it's heaven. It feels luxurious, like a nibble of dark chocolate before bed. Sometimes I think if I could live the bulk of my life as a bottle episode—nothing of story consequence, could stand on its own or be cut for time—I would. Bottle episodes are typically the strongest, anyway. They don't have to be bogged down with exposition or serialization. They can just exist and show off the good bones of a TV show.

As you get older, it's harder to just exist. Suddenly everything has consequence, everything is connected. We've designed our lives to to be constantly building, building, building. Go here to get there.

When I'm in these random cities, I'm going fucking nowhere. I'm laying in my hotel bed, AC blasting, watching episodes of Chopped at 1am, my jet-lagged face lit up by my laptop. I'm Googling "Best coffee in Minneapolis" I'm drinking the best coffee in Minneapolis (really good, tbh) I'm working out in the hotel gym with the other mentally ill freaks who can't go three days without exercise endorphins, I'm thinking about going to this museum everyone is raving about while knowing full well I am never going to go, I'm answering an email or two, I'm accidentally getting a huge chunk of writing done—writing that would've taken me a week in Los Angeles—because nobody knows me here, nothing is expected of me. I have nowhere to be. I am really horny all of the time. Hotels put you in that frame of mind. The bed says: "Why are you not having sex with a stranger on me? That's what I'm here for." And then sometimes I do have sex with a stranger. If it's good, the place I'm visiting will suddenly feel like home. Now that I've had a local's penis inside of me, I get why people live here. If it's bad, the limits of the bottle episode will be tested when I fly back in a rotten mood.

Does my enjoyment of these "work trips" belie a larger dissatisfaction with my real life? Yes. No. Maybe. Fuck off.

A state of unease has settled on my chosen city, Los Angeles. The industry I work in is like a weather forecast. And just like the real weather, there's been an inordinate amount of rain. Something's not right. (actual weather: Climate change, Hollywood: Monopoly is being adapted into a movie.) No one knows how to fix it. When will the person in charge come back? Wait. You're telling me there was never a person in charge? Oh no.

Of course, my ego requires me to say I am one of the lucky ones in that I currently, as of this writing, have a job. But even in bustling times, a writer feels insecure. Being prosperous means knowing what the next six months of your life looks like. That's it. And then it's back to planting those seeds knowing most won't bear any fruit. (I spend three days in the Midwest and I'm trying out farming metaphors.)

When I am in these cities or small towns, I am there for a job, which means I know money is coming in. And anything happening back in Los Angeles is none of my goddamn business. Until it has to be.

These cities I visit are full of ambitious people but I project so much on to them. They've chosen to live in cities with affordable housing and James Beard award-winning restaurants. Any unease they feel comes from within and not from watching the Hollywood stock market, otherwise known as the trades. Their lives belong to them whereas I don't know if mine totally does. There's so much powerlessness that comes with my profession. What if a network that is paying my mortgage merges with a Sbarro's tomorrow and, poof, no more job? I wish I were joking but the only comedy getting made right now is Real Life, streaming everywhere.

I want to figure out how to live life more like a bottle episode. How can I take this back to Los Angeles without becoming irresponsible? I don't want a different life. I just want my life to stop feeling different. I want things to go back to "normal" which, for Hollywood, is still crazy but, like, I'm not scared of Sbarro's taking my job.

I am a cynical optimist. Everything is cyclical. It will land somewhere. But, in the meantime, how do you stay inspired when you are told everybody is looking for things that are "safe" which is code for "nothing that comes out of your faggot gimp brain?" How am I supposed to feel when I see my business chasing after IP no one gives a shit about and spending $200 million because they can only conceive of teeny tiny or big bang boom? Baby Reindeer is one of the most popular TV shows right now. I haven't seen it yet but it's a show with no stars (no offense!) and no action figures. Just people trying to figure out less painful ways to be alive, like all the best kind of art explores. It reminds me of Fleabag's success. When your premise is simple, you can be complex. And, yet, I feel like the wrong lesson will be metabolized. "Stalkers! Let's reboot the movie Disclosure, even though no one watched it the first time!"

The thing is, we're all miserable living under these mandates. And, yet, we made the rules. If only someone would just realize no one is coming to save us. We have to save ourselves.

Anyway, my favorite bottle episode is Girls, season two, episode five "One Man's Trash." A show everyone is rediscovering but probably wouldn't get made today for reasons that are made up and nobody understands or agrees with.

[theawkwardterrier]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Blessedly tagged by @walkinginland and @flyinghome-againstthewind so I can participate in one of my favorite activities (talking about myself) during this boring workday!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

173, although I know there are a few that for various reasons I haven't posted on there

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,177,040 which...wow

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Most continuously the MCU (Captain America specifically), Buffyverse, Veronica Mars, and Outlander, but one-offs for many others

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Muscle Memory (Outlander, Jamie/Claire; 18 chapters, complete)

Wingspan (Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica; 6 chapters, complete)

Here's All the Melting Thrill (And Here's the Kindling Fire) (Outlander, Jamie/Claire; 14 chapters, complete)

things left behind and the things that are ahead (MCU, Steve/Peggy; 43 chapters, complete)

After the War Is Over (Will There Be Any Home Sweet Home?) (Outlander, Jamie/Claire; 6 chapters, complete)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

99% of the time, absolutely. I appreciate them so much, and want to express that, even if I'm a little overwhelmed and just end up saying "Thanks so much for reading!" Sometimes, however, if the comment strikes me as really negative or is trying to start some kind of debate that I don't want to get involved in, I'll just mark as read and move on.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really write angsty endings! (Usually just angsty middles, and third act twists...) Probably my Veronica Mars fic, We Do Not Flinch, because even though the ending is definitely hopeful, not everything is fixed and the character death is not erased.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Um, basically all of them tbh! I love and reliably provide a happy ending. I guess I'll say Each Step Closer (On Our Way Together) because the whole thing is pretty light and the last section extra so.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Intellectually I know the answer is no. But I have gotten criticism, perhaps validly, about my portrayal of Peggy's emotions in Woman Borne, and also have gotten comments which express frustration with the choices my characters make, and that does feel hurtful in certain ways.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ehhhhh, very, very lightly. Pretty much just gauzy linguistics and minimal mention of actual body parts - soulmate smut 🤷‍♀️

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Haha, I've written a bunch of AUs that borrow from other fandoms and have a lot of fun with those, but I've only written one partially completed Buffy/Bones crossover

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think that some of my fics have been included in the kind of automatic sweeps that republish on fake fic sites or ebook sites, but not by an actual person as far as I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, although I'd be happy to give permission if someone wanted to!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Lol, no and I can't imagine I'd be an easy writing partner 😂😬

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Skipping because I've found that there isn't necessarily a permanence to it for me.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't really have WIPs that have been posted (because I know myself and that would be too stressful for me!) but the long planned out Chase/Cameron fic, or the Veronica Mars one where Wallace was a superhero, or the various ideas I've vaguely started writing within my head.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mmmm...Occasional nice turns of phrase/unusual uses of language?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing visuals or action

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Nervous about it and probably I do it wrong, but I do it anyway 😬

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter back in the day

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I am my own biggest fic critic and also my own biggest fan, so they are all dear to me. I do have a particular love for my Steggy fic things left behind and the things that are ahead and all the characters and bits of the universe that come along with it.

Tagging @roboticonography, @ghostcat3000, @ckerouac, @kairosimperative, and of course my always meme pal, @lavellenchanted!

[im-diseased-but-cool]

Chris Redfield Trans Specific Headcanons:

Trans woman swag

Claire found out about trans people one day and went

"oh my god that's Chris"

Cue presentation and note cards about being trans

"Chris you're transgender."

"uh no I'm not? I like women Claire not men"

"no thats not- Chris you're a woman"

"??"

"Chris are you my sister?"

"Obviously I am wtf???"

And then Chris uses she/her pronouns

She tried to go on that sweet girl juice (estrogen)

But because of her job at S.T.A.R.S she's just too busy and couldn't be bothered

Definitely has the money and medical access to do surgery (like ada) but chooses not to

Why? "I'm literally fighting B.O.Ws I can't afford to take time off to recover from surgery like that"

Doesn't really get dysphoric tbh

Plus who's gonna make fun of her

"erm ☝️🤓 you're a man" -some guy

That guy has been erased from existence

Literally

She works with the government so obviously she has that power to do so (she doesn't because one hard glare sets those assholes straight)

Trans woman LESBIAN

Never slept with a man

"what about Leon" you might ask

"It doesn't count. Leon's like a woman to me" -said by Jill, Chris, Rebecca, Ada and then eventually Claire

So.....

[callmearcturus]

Hey! I read your Ethan post, and since I forgot to mention that in the tags, really great take about Ethan and Claire!

Personally my interpretation of it in mi1 is that it was Jim who was having an affair with Ethan, and that Claire knew. His jealousy makes more sense to me if he's projecting. He already is having a relationship with one much younger agent with Claire, so why not two? Plus, we know he's the one who recruited him, and there's Kittridge's weird tone when he tells Ethan that he knows how much Jim mattered to him. And it complicates Ethan's relationship with Claire, because he sees her as the victim she is, but she's also a perpetrator.

Anyway, that would leave Ethan with a huge fear of doing the same to anyone, and a lot of self blame

i am always here to talk about Ethan Hunt, my god

that's an interesting take and honestly works really well. there is so much Vibes about Jim and Ethan. I have watched the sequence at the grand central terminal where they have tea and talk about Prague so many fucking times because that entire sequence feels like a knife slowly pressing down. the constant use of close-ups is amazing tbh.

there is something eminently and constantly uncomfortable about Phelps and Ethan's relationship thru the entire thing. any time they talk, it's sinister and unsettling, and the feeling that Ethan is slamming his foot down on a missing stair is pervasive.

(hilariously the first time i watched MI1, i saw Jon Voight and was like "oh he's the villain, natch." and then "OH SHIT I'M SORRY HE DIED, whoops" and then "OMG I WAS RIGHT" which was v fun.)

the dynamic I picked up on was more of a weird threesome vibe though but kind of for the exact same reasons you point out. Ethan is a massive Ethical Slut in MI1 and seems to like threesomes, and to me it feels like he got drawn in as a third to Claire and Phelps' relationship. because yes to Kittridge's weird question and yes to the weird sexual dynamic of Phelps and Claire, esp in the ending.

so when Phelps fakes his death and Claire is playing the mourning widow, the way she... draws Ethan in, making him party to her sorrow, the way she leans on him, the vibe of "we are the two left behind" is just a masterful manipulation that feels rooted in prior experience together. I am OBSESSED with the scene when Ethan just returned from seeing Phelps and she kisses his hand, it's like watching a bear trap snap down on Ethan and makes me wanna scream at him to run the fuck away to the hills, get OUT OF THERE.

Punct called MI1 a psychosexual knot and that's honestly the ONLY way I can categorize it now. it's great.

[drunktuesdays]

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better. i was tagged by @cant-not, a woman i am currently learning is a russian nesting doll of blogs

last song: i'm often not cool enough for this kind of question, because the reality is that the actual last song i listened to was "don't take the girl" by tim mcgraw because i was talking to niko vivathewilddog about melodramatic mpreg, and i listened to it five times today. but the last "cool" song i added to my liked songs on spotify was "you just didn't like me that much" by leanna firestone which is legit a great song

last show: hmm....the last show i finished was probably tlou? or interview with a vampire? does that count? i really don't know the difference between this question and the one underneath it. i honestly don't remember the last time i made it to an actual series finale bc tbh i have the attention span of a gnat when it comes to tv, and i WILL abandon things so easy. even things i like......why...

currently watching: i'm usually caught up on yellowjackets, succession, and 911. i've been halfway through abbot elementary, the bear and only murders in the building for months on account of my previously mentioned terrible attention span. i'm also watching lost with the gc for the first time, and i'm having the time of my LIFE.

currently reading: i literally just finished the first fifteen lives of harry august by claire north last night, and i just started the city we became by nk jemesin. i'm also mostly through my annual reread of an insane million word harry potter fic where harry has a twin brother named connor potter, and i cannot explain why i love it, and will not be defending unless you've read it, in which case, PLEASE hop in the dms.

current obsession: i'll echo laura with nyt games--i still play wordle most days, and i also play the mini and tiles. del dadvans got me back into the sims, and i've been working on a [redacted] household i cannot talk about because i've lost my mind. i'm also moving soon, so i guess my number one fandom is looking at apartments i hate and trying to imagine being happy in them..... is that cool.........................

im tagging @vivathewilddog @dadvans @lakemermaids @thevaudevillescene @immoveableobject @eggtrolls @anairbri @onlyposersfallinlove @bropunzeling