#why is writing so hard? i've got some mad writer's block right now and it's kicking my ass

[total-drama-brainrot]

Every time I open my google docs I think to myself "this time I'll write something, at least a couple hundred words of something," and every time without fail I just chew on the bars of my enclosure and write nothing like the caged cowardly beast I am.

[daughterofhecata]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

I was tagged by @a-different-equation, thank you for that!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

...520, as of right now.

2. What’s your total A03 word count?

Right now it's 916,952 words. If I can get somewhat out of this writing slump, I should be able to crack the 1mil next year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Drei Fragezeichen/Three Investigators pretty much exclusively (506/520) with the occasional Tatort (Berlin) fic thrown in.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Don't tell him! (DDF, Peter/Bob)

Eine Studie in Flurfunk (Tatort Saarbrücken, Leo/Adam)

comfort (Kingsman, Eggsy/Merlin)

Truth or Dare (Criminal Minds, Derek/Spencer) (don't look at this one. it's bad.)

the answering to every prayer i prayed (DDF, PB&J)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yep! Love it! Because fic writing is also about community and i love talking to people about fic!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

...probably 9mm, although some of the oneshots in the sometimes suffering is just suffering collection probably aren't much better (special mention for Kammerspiel, I guess.). If you go look at these, please mind the tags.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I write a lot of fluffy shit and I do love my happy endings, two fics that specifically come to mind are Vegas Wedding (Peter/Skinny wedding) and weil dieses timing immer irgendwas gegen uns hat (Cotta/Victor, who meet five times over the years but the timing is only right the sixth time and they're so so relieved they finally get to be together).

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

I got one weird comment a long time ago that boiled down to "trans!Cotta is unrealistic and not canon" (okay, chill?) and more recently (i think earlier this year or late last year) someone going "please block me so I don't have to see your fics anymore" (dude, just exclude me from the search???) but apart from that it's been quiet, although there do seem to be some people in the broader fandom that absolutely loathe me (or so I've been told xD).

9. Do you write smut?

*looks at the past two years' Kink January fills* *looks at the current Kink January fills I should be writing* ...sometimes? xD

10. Do you write crossovers?

Don't think I have yet. Although there is a poem in my drafts that I wrote for a Creative Writing seminar that parallels Lolita and Persephone, I guess that counts as a crossover in ao3 terms?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone asked me a long time ago on ff.net if they could translate one of my johnlock fics but idk if they ever posted it. Also my little brother used to translate my johnlock fic into german for english practice xD

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Well, we started something last year, but I've never finished/published a co-written fic.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

...you can't ask me that. I can't possibly answer that.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

...there are a lot of those. Let's all keep our fingers crossed I'll eventually finish the perfect part about it is: it's all that i've got because I'm actually still mad passionate about it.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Dialogue, I like to think.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Long fic, no discussion. I'm decent at oneshots and short-ish multi-chaps, but real actual long fic is a battle.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Sure! Love it! Currently it's mostly the occasional french phrase for Victor, but there is abandoned Inglourious Basterds fic on my hard drive where the dialogue switched between English, German, and French.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

It's still out of hell, I'm pretty sure. Necessary Tragedies is also up there tho.

Tagging (no pressure tho): @crazy-walls, @peppsta, @alintheshitposter, @manahiel, @lalalenii & @pointwhitmark.

[alfvaen]

Writing Exercise #3: Hovil

The writing exercise I did for this month's writers' group meeting; the challenge was simply to write something based on an existing fairy tale or children's story. I'm going to that by the end it's clear enough which story I was riffing on.

I sat in the front row of the stadium, fuming. I didn't even like her music, but she'd given me a free ticket. And she had a hostage. She'd been clear that I wouldn't get it back unless I showed up.

I'd thought I was hearing things, at first. Little voices, crying for help. Eventually I tracked them down to a rock in my snowy backyard. I brought it inside and brushed it off. The voices were grateful, and I promised to keep them safe. But my roommate Angela overheard and, she said, began to get worried about me. She urged me to go to therapy, or get checked out by a doctor. After all, if I was hearing voices, that could be schizophrenia, right? There was meds for that. I refused, though. And maybe I was wrong to do that. After all, hearing voices was a bad sign, you heard it all the time. But these voices weren't telling me to kill people. They were telling me to look after a rock. If they started to get dark, then I'd consider it. Unless by that time I was too far gone, I suppose. And then one day a few months later the rock disappeared. Angela insisted at first that I must have misplaced it, but eventually she confessed that she had taken it out of my bedroom while I was out, and tossed it in a rock garden with a bunch of other rocks. So I went to the rock garden, listened carefully, and eventually was able to hear the tiny voices calling for help, and track them down to the same rock, among thousands. The man down the block, whose rock garden it was, was very mad at me and chased me off with a hockey stick. I apologized to the voices in the rock. For the first time, I started asking them about themselves. They called their land Hovil, and themselves the Hovians, ruled by their Princess Lucinda. A great frost had come upon the land, and I was the one who had saved them from it. I wondered if the rock had originated in some warm climate, or maybe deep underground, and this was its first time in that kind of cold. (Yes, of course I thought it was weird that a bunch of tiny people were living inside a rock. Don't think that I took this all completely in stride. But the voices had a lot to tell me, and it was more complex than anything I could have made up. My imagination isn't that good.) I hid the rock better this time. But not good enough, apparently. Angela had enlisted the help of some of my friends, her friends, and friends of friends. And one of them was apparently good friends with the pop singer Daisy May. And between them they arranged some kind of an intervention. Which was why I was here at this concert. Because if I didn't, they said I'd never see the rock again. One thing I knew for sure, I wasn't going to see Angela ever again after this, if I could help it.

"Hello, Edmonton!" Daisy shouted, and was rewarded by ear-splitting screams in response. I crossed my arms and glared at her. "Now, there's someone special in the audience tonight," she said. "I'm told that his name is…Tim Horton?" Uproarious laughter. I sighed. Of course they would drag that up. Sure, my name is Tim. And one time in college I got drunk and ate an entire box of a dozen donuts, and then threw up. But it had been five years. I thought I had lived that name down. "Now Tim apparently has a little bit of a problem," Daisy continued. "I mean, I know a lot of us are going through a rough time right now. And I've always been a strong advocate for mental health. But sometimes that means…tough love!" She held out a hand and one of her entourage--not sure if he was a roadie, or security, or what--pulled the rock (my rock!) out of a pouch and handed it to her. "See this? No, it doesn't mean that my next album is going to be hard rock!" Scattered laughter. Yeah, that one didn't deserve it. "No, this is Tim's rock. He's gotten a little overly attached to it! He talks to it, and he says it talks back. And he refuses to seek help about it! So I think it's time for him to say goodbye. After all, it's just a rock, right? It's not full of little tiny people! So we're going to break it open and show him!" "No!" I yelled. I clawed my way onto the stage, and, of course, found out who exactly her security guys were. They quickly grabbed my arms and pinioned them tight. At least they didn't ziptie them, but one of them held my elbow in a way that was particularly painful unless I kept perfectly still. So I watched helplessly as a metal table was brought out, and a heavy steel rock hammer. Daisy took the hammer and seemed to be considering trying to break the rock herself, but apparently decided her petite physique was not up to the task and handed it to another security guy instead. Who must have had some rockhound experience, because he examined the rock closely, tapping it lightly, before nodding to himself and setting it down on the table, holding it in a certain position, and then giving it a hearty whack.

Instantly I, and Daisy, and the rockhound could see sparkling light coming out of it. "Oh, it's some kind of geode!" Daisy said. "At least…I think… Wait, what is that?" The rock split open, and it did look like a geode, at least at first, with sparkling crystals. But even under the hot glare of the lights shining on the stage, there was no way it should be that bright. And then the crystals started to grow. Within seconds they had doubled in size, and the rockhound stepped back in surprise. He reached out his hand to touch one of the crystals, and snatched it back bleeding. And still the crystals grew. Daisy and her band fled the stage when they were taller than she was, and the stadium was rapidly emptying. The security guys were swiftly enlisted to try to make sure the evacuation was orderly, and nobody cared about me any more. It was too late for me to put the rock back together, since there was clearly no way they could all fit back inside any more. The table had collapsed, and the crystals kept growing. But not in a spikes-everywhere, sea-urchin kind of way. It was like…like a city building itself. There were tall crystal spires growing everywhere, but there were paths between them. I walked down the paths as they grew, and soon I found myself before a crystal palace. And there was Princess Lucinda. She was lovelier than I'd ever imagined. "Tim!" she said. "Is that you?" "It's me," I said. "I'm so glad!" she said, embracing me. "The curse has finally been broken! You were so clever!" Of course, I had had nothing to do with the breaking of the rock, but then again it had happened because of me, so I decided to just take credit for it.

Hovil stopped expanding after displacing the entire stadium (where it went, I'm not sure, but it didn't leave a lot of debris behind) and most of the parking lot. Princess Lucinda (and Tim, her new Prince Consort) has been in diplomatic talks with the Prime Minister about recognition of their official status. Hovians are a little different, with iridescent skin and crystalline fingernails, and their ways are a little strange, but a person's a person, no matter what kind.

[winnies-headcannons]

Kyoya x reader

Secret crush

Summery: kyoya just knew he liked you from the way you walked to the way you care for others. You were a family friend of kyoya so he had known you since birth, he had secretly liked you for awhile but family buisnness got in the way. You guys havent talked in a while but when you joined the host club his heart stopped.

Trigger warnings: Drinking, arguing, fluff, slapping

A/N: I hope you like this, I've been having writers block lately but this idea inspired me!! Anyway enjoy!

Koya's eyes widened, his heart racing like horses on a race track. Out of everyone in the school, Tamaki had to choose you to be the new host, a girl he had known since birth, a female he had liked for forever but too stubborn to tell you. You meant everything to him but he let his work get in the way. He had pushed you away to focus on the family business as he tried to impress his father.

After the host introduced themselves you smiled, you couldn't help but stare at the black-haired glasses-wearing guy, he looked more mature than he did when you guys were little. His chest was buffer, his facial expression more serious. It was kinda...hot.

"Hi, my name is l/n y/n, second-year student!" You exclaimed introducing yourself to the hosts, you were honestly excited to get started. You were the first female to be in the club that will be working with guys (besides Haruhi at times). One thing you didnt except was that your childhood best friend/crush would be the manager of this type of club. I mean come on the Kyoya ootori a host? Kinda hard to believe, he wasn't the 'host' type.

"Well well well, got ourselves a cute little kitten~" the ginger-haired makes spoke in sync, your face became a light shade of pink "you're gonna be fun~," the one named Hikaru said resting his arm around your shoulders. Kyoya got pissed, he didn't want anyone to touch you but he didn't want anyone to know so he just watched from behind the black book he always writes in. "Wow Tamaki was right you two do look just alike!" You smiled, you can't believe the resemblance they had, identical twins!

It was a few hours before the club opens and you were just starting it up with the club. They told you how they wanted something more for the club, they wanted it to surpass high school, you found it quite amazing how hard they work just to please girls. "Oh that reminds me, you didn't get to meet kyoya when we introduced ourselves!" Tamaki exclaimed "no need me and y/n have known each other for years" kyoya interrupted, "she's a family friend" his voice monotone, never looking up from his book. The club mentally facepalmed, they knew there was a reason why you didn't talk to him. "Yup, but we kinds fell off in middle school..so we haven't really talked since then" your heart pulled at you're chest, it hurt you've loved him for so long yet he just pushes you away.

"I didnt seem you to be the host type kyoya" you exclaimed turning around to look at him, he smirked from behind the big black book "nor did I, tamki talked me into it" turning toward tamaki he was doing his little kingly pose "yes all my idea!" God he was full of it. "We must not delay the ladies and gentlemen-" he looked towards you "are going to be here soon! We must get the club ready" everyone nodded got to their designed spot but kyoya didnt move just sat there so you decided to sit with him at the back of the room. "So..how have you been" you shyly said, you noticed how he didnt even look up from his book not once. "If your attempting to small talk me its not gonna work, Y/N I'm a very busy man and I dont have time for silly small talk" this made your heart hurt, you knew he wouldnt really wanna see you but figured it's been so long since you've last seen each other, Guess you were wrong.

"O-okay" you put on a fake smile and walked to your designated spot fighting back tears. In the back of your head thinking maybe, just maybe he would be different. Hours have gone by and it was honestly a good first day, flirting with guys and them flirting back, even got a few numbers. Your population was growing quickly, I mean it should everyone knew at this point that your family was close to the ootori family so they wanted to get on your good side. School had ended at this point and you were waiting by the front gate for your ride, but thanks to the buisnness of your father and his driver he couldnt make it. You had gotten the text on your phone a few minutes ago that he couldnt make it, you only sighed not surprised but disappointed.

Sitting on the front gate fountain you sighed, how were you gonna get home? It was too far to walk and you didn't really know anyone well enough to get a ride with someone except..no, no you couldn't, he didn't wanna even talk to you let alone give you a ride home.

"Your father not coming?" A voice appeared out of nowhere. Looking up from the phone you see the devil himself, Kyoya. "Ah, no he's busy" a fake smiled crept on your face, he was the last person you wanted to see at the moment.

"Well seeing as we live close to each other it would only make sense you ride with me" his dace black his stare harsh, you didn't want to but yet you did. Only wanting to know why he pushed you away so much. "A-alright" you agreed, walking with him to his limo. "We're taking miss L/N home first" kyoya exclaimed to the drive, he only nodded and drive off. It was silent half of the way there till you got the guts to speak "Kyoya..why did you push me away" oh God why did you ask that your anxiety oh the frights now. He looked up at you and was silent for a quick second "Y/N you should know the answer. We are both very important people and we can't let a friendship get in the way of things" he huffed out "but we've known each other all this time why now" he was starting to piss you off, you just wanted your friend back, you wanted to see if y'all could be more. "Because my father's business is much more important than our petty friendship" tears were on the verge of your eyes, clenching your fist on your dress "why do you care so much" looking down and tears falling down your face "because I love you.." He eyes widened and his heart racing, did you really mean it? All this time he thought you were just playing him. "y/N I-" suddenly he was cut off by the sudden stop of the limo. "Don't bother kyoya like you said, your work is way more important than me" you got out of the limo leaving him speechless.

The last thing you remember about that night was running to your room and crying your eyes out, you even snuck into your dads room and stole some alcohol and chugged it, throwing it up instantly as your body wasn't use to it. Even though you kept puking you just kept drinking till eventually you were drunk off your ass making you fall asleep.

The next day the worst hangover hit you, school was the last thing on your mind but had no choice, after spending to much time in the bed past your alarm you got up and got ready for school. Arriving at school you went straight to the host club knowing everyone would be in there, rubbing your temple as you opened the door. "Wow Y/N you look like shit" one of the twins said you only grunted at their statement and sat down on the couch next to haruhi "jesus Y/N you smell like alcohol" the female dressed as a male (still valid) covered their nose. "Sorry didnt have time to shower, but damn I have a hangover like no tomorrow" rubbing your temple Mori handed you a water with a simple 'here'then walked away. The hosts was crowded around you wanting to know why you drank so much last night. "Listen guys I dont wanna talk about it." Kyoya was getting mad, a simple argument made you drink so much last nigh? He slammed his book closed causing everyone to be quiet, he stood up quickly and walked to you grabbing you by the hand causing you to stand "are you stupid? Drinking at your age, ruining your system" he stared you straight in the eyes "why do you care, why not just go write in your little book if yours." You harshly said making his jump back a little "if you weren't such a DICK maybe you would have more friends, maybe someone would love you MAYBE-" you were cut off by a pair if warm soft lips, it was kyoya, his hands on both side of your face. You never kissed back only stared at him in shock. Soon he let go of your alcohol tasting lips, "I do love you" you heart skipped a beat, beating as fast as it could go, tears formed at the edge of your eyes.

Slap

Your hand met his soft pale face as hot tears streamed down your face. "I love you more" you smiled then hugged him, guess this is a perfect life.

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

(1) Hey! So sorry for replying late, a lot has happened these past couple of days D: but I hope you've been doing good! (I say as if I've been gone for months aksjdf) anyway, yeah, they're definitely scary. I think it'll be worth being able to be that soft and open with someone though. And I'm glad it did have a positive impact on you! Even if they were hard you came out stronger or wiser in some way. And thank you, you're so sweet :') So do you hon ❤️

hey honeymoon! sorry for taking my time to respond, i hope everything’s been alright with you! 

(2) Terushima really does just seem like a big dork who loves volleyball haha. I feel like his initial vibe would make me not want to interact v much lol but once you get to know him he's actually a good person. and that tongue piercing tho 👀. "that one definitely hurts a lot more than Falling does" then I think I'm good for awhile hahaha. I've already read a sad hospital AU so I'm going to stay FAR away for now. Honestly I wish there was an interesting story behind it but there's not :')

(3) basically I had an art blog and the name of it was kind of a pun with the word "honeydew." but that nickname was already taken and I wanted to be ~original~ sso I didn't want to use it lol. I still liked the honey aspect though and I thought Honeymoon sounded cute. I'm also kind of a secret hopeless romantic and at the time I kept my identity on my art blog a secret, so it kind of felt like an "alter ego" of mine? long story short I liked the nickname and it kinda stuck haha

ok i mean, to be fair, he was super aggressive when he was meeting kiyoko. but i definitely feel like there’s that dorky side to him LMAO.

oooof idk if I can handle any angst rn tbh so i can definitely relate 😭 

that’s honestly such a cute story though??? like, that’s literally so freakin’ adorable. what type of art did you use to do? (and honestly girl, this whole blog is on the DL and i tried super hard to keep it hidden from my life LOL).

there’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic though! it gives you a chance to day-dream hehe 💞 what’s your favorite romantic trope? it could be as cliche or non-cliche as you’d like! 

(4) "i’m sorry for being a sadistic fk 🥰" 😀 something tells me you're kind of not LOL (really though I know you're sweet and don't actually want to hurt people akdhf) and honestly I'm glad you decided to expand on it! Chapter one is also great as a standalone but I'm so grateful for the rest so far, and you're doing an amazing job with it love 💖 I understand the chara x chara thing. I don't know if I've ever actually shipped anything to the point of me /wanting/ it to be canon

(6) like, it'd be cool if it was, but I don't actually care y'know? unless it was actual romantic tension built up in the movie/book/series. Fanart and fic is what mostly got me lol. I think the HQ fandom is super diverse/creative in its shipping. Not only because of an incredible story with great characters, but great fans and creators as well. And yes! someone else who likes KuroIwa!! I think that ship is really cute (and they're my top 2 faves so I'm biased haha) have you seen neutinya's art?

i swear i’m nice 💞 thank you so much for the love!! 🥺 i’ve been having writer’s block for a bit, and your comments have honestly motivated me to write so much more for it LOL

i definitely agree though, like, i can’t aggressively fight for one ship over another because it’s literally just not canon. it just feels wrong to “shove that agenda”, so to speak. but it’s always interesting to see all the different character combinations. i never would’ve imagined half of the ones out there if not for this fandom LOL

neutinya’s literally why I have a thing for KuroIwa!! LMAO. i really like the art that they put out. same with bright_stars_45 on IG. Their stuff is literally why i ship Bokuaka soooo hard. 

(7) (did I skip 5?) I really hope I'm numbering those right it's 12:30 am here lol. anyway, it's probably a good thing you weren't in the fandom then. I don't know how it is now, but it was p chaotic and toxic and there was actually controversy surrounding one of those fics. I'm sorry about you and your sister love :( I don't know if you'd ever want to have a strong one with her but I hope you do if you do! and if not then there will always be people you share that with, blood or not 💕

LOL you did skip 5, but it’s okay bby 💖 it’s not too serious tbh. i’m not really close to my family, so i’ve always believed in the “my family is the one’s i choose, not necessarily the one’s i’m blood-related to” :) 

(8) Piglet has always been my fave, but Eeyore and Lumpy are also great. do you have any favorite characters or ones that mean a lot to you? and that's really cool too!! I know being mixed can get super complicated but knowing you have all of those cultures in you in some way is pretty amazing. Honestly I've been undecided for the past 2 years but after everything going on in 2020, I've felt this need to release the truth? no matter what that may be. I know a lot of people say journalism 

(9) isn't an honest profession but, and this will sound arrogant, I want to change that. Even if that just means me being an independent journalist while being an editor to make a living, I'm okay with that. Also it can give you the opportunity to travel, and writing has always been my strong suit. socio is so I can have a better understanding of the world and learn to be less biased and more objective and understanding. What about you? :O

my favorite Disney character is honestly Tiana from Princess and the Frog! her hard-working story is hella relatable to me, and it inspired me to be better for myself if that makes sense? 

TBH the most annoying part of being mixed is being called eXoTiC by guys who are tryna sleep with me 💀 there’s definitely a lot of fetishization about it lol

i hella respect that! the need to release the truth. journalism is honestly a raw and authentic profession that people underestimate because they read from biased sources or the things they read isn’t accurate. i have mad respect for you for following that career path! if there’s anything i could do to help, lmk love 💖 TBH, i chose business because i wanted to open my own business and i love psych because i love understanding the world and the people in my lives. psycho-analysing is one of my hobbies hehe. so similar as to why you did socio!

(10) and yes!!!! tbh I've always liked theatre but was never really one for the stage. I was in a child friendly version of macbeth in 6th grade and that was it lol. In my senior year of high school I performed a slam poem about my depression and my teacher called me emotionally constipated lmaoo. and because of how hs went down for me I never got to take classes anyway. I started getting into sfx/film makeup though and I really want to do that! I also just love the energy of backstage tbh

(11) this is getting really long akfdjh. but yeah I want to learn more! I'm actually kind of struggling in my stage management class right now because I honestly don't know much about theatre so it's overwhelming. I haven't even seen a lot of shows (I did see The Lion King when I was a kid though!! and a few hs productions). enough about me though, what's your favorite part, or what are some of your best memories? I love seeing that it makes you so happy :D

omg i’m so sorry that your teacher called you that. that’s so inappropriate, especially considering the subject matter. i hope that you’ve had a more positive experience involving your work since then. if you ever want to talk about your struggle, please feel free to reach out, ok? 

you must be pretty talented with makeup though! that’s so cool 🤩 i’ve always admired sfx and people who are talented with makeup tbh. what’s your favorite part about it so far? 

i was fortunate enough that my hs had a super talented theatre program that i could be a part of. i had the opportunity to be in both tech, management, and on-stage. i honestly really enjoyed being behind-the-scenes in the management part! it was so great seeing a production from start to finish and knowing that i was involved with that process. i’m a huge theatre nerd tbh 😅 i love watching shows like Phantom of the Opera, Hamilton, RENT and I’ll routinely watch them haha. 

[meetyouinthesky]

Cheering Up Christian Collins imagine

~A/n~ I hope you guys enjoy this. I haven’t really been able to write in a long time I guess you can call it “writer’s block” but idk anyways. I had this idea and once I started writing I couldn’t stop.  And sorry if its long I don’t think I know how to write a short imagine

Chris x Friend!Reader

Chris’s P.O.V

“Chris isn’t y/n gonna land in 30 mins. I would go know the traffic is crazy right know”

 “Oh snap I totally lost track of time. ok I be back babe see ya.”

 I was currently on my way to pick up my best friend, Y/n, from the airport. She has been in London for about 2 1/2 year now. She has been going back and forth to London and LA for her performing art school that she got into. I haven’t really seen her recently though she says she just to busy to fly out but I don’t think that’s the only reason why she has stayed away for so long. You see up until my brother, Crawford, posted a video on YouTube saying he had a girlfriend, Emily, things have changed. She came less and less to LA and when she did she would try to avoid coming my house at all cost. We would have plans and if I would mention Crawford coming she would try to make up an excuse about how she may not be able to stay or go. I try asking her what is wrong or why she acts like this I even ask if it is because of Crawf but she always says no. I think it hurts her too much to know that the person she could possibly love be happy and in love with someone else. I honestly don’t know how Crawford never caught on that she liked him she made it pretty obvious.

 45 mins later and I'm finally able to get out of that horrible LA traffic. I'm only about 15 mins late but I hope she doesn’t get mad. I drive up to the front of the airport and I see her taking pictures with some of her fans. She quickly glances my way and right away spots me she flashes me a big smile. Y/n say something to the rest of the fans which I believe is a goodbye.

 “Chris!” Y/n screams while running towards me giving me a hug almost making both of us fall to the floor.

 “haha hi” I respond

  “Jeez its been way to long since I've seen you.” she says while pulling out of the hug. “So where’s this lovely girlfriend of yours? Courtney right?"

 "Yeah, she is at the house I thought we would just go to my house from here.” right when I say that she tenses up. “It will just be me, you, Courtney, and King my parents are out of town. After I say that she no longer looks tense. “Well we should get going.” she says with a smile on her face. With that I grab her suitcases and put them in the trunk. She quickly thanks me and we both get in the car. We catch up a bit an then we just jam out to the radio.

“Really you've only been home for less than 2 hours and you're already stealing my girlfriend from me. How is this happening?”  Courtney just starts laughing and y/n tells me to stop whining. I end up laughing too because of her comment.

 We order some pizza and put on a movie. After the movies has ended we joke around some more and just talk. She catches us up on what she has been up to in London. I do the same but mainly talk about music I've been working on and Courtney and Y/n just talk about anything. Once we all started to get a little tired and when we checked the time it was already 3:30 am. We quickly picked up and got ready for bed. Before we all headed to are rooms I asked to speak to Y/n real quick.

 “Yeah what is it Chris?” “uh I just wanted to say I had a fun night. Its just been so long since we hung out and I'm glad you finally came to visit again. And you and Court are getting along so well. I love that my best friend is friend with my girlfriend. I just wish we had more days like this.” 

 “I know trust me I do its just I'm so busy and can only really come over on my breaks.” she responds.

“Is that the only reason why you don't come?” I ask, wishing I didn't just say that.

“ um yeah, why? Is there a reason that you think I have?”

 I just look down and say Crawford. I slowly look up after she doesn't respond.  

She breath and says “ Honestly yeah, its hard for me seeing him so happy, which is stupid and selfish but I-I think I loved- love him. And I had mixed emotions the fact that he never told me he had a girlfriend. How he never called anymore. its like I didn't exist anymore. So the last thing I wanted to do was run into him. Mainly because I would have probably yelled at him and whatever I said would have really ended are friendship.”

I didn't say anything I just pull her into a hug. “ I really needed that.” she says. Look I'm sorry I really am, I not gonna lie and say I know how you feel because I don’t but I will tell you something I do know. I know that you will get over this because you are one of the smartest, bravest people I've ever met and I want to see you smile more because I've seen you smile, you've got a really nice smile. When you go to London you while most likely find a great British guy and you forget all about Crawford. “After I say that she has a huge smile on her face and her eyes have gotten watery. “Thank you Chris you the best!” she says giving a hug.