#wilross

[release-the-mccracken]

December Was The Warmest Month

Ship: Ryan Ross x Brent Wilson

(I mean come on they were girlfriends)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Getting high, first kiss, fluff, getting together.

Word Count: 1,147

Summary: “Are you still okay?” Brent’s words cut through the thick smoke that felt like it was clouding up Ryan’s mind. It helped bring him back to the moment, giving him something to focus on. He felt himself nodding, but his body felt weird. He felt too heavy, his movements feeling slower than normal and as though it took more effort to simply nod. Brent’s fingers still rubbed his side, mindlessly tracing small circles there. 

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Ryan’s body felt hot all over, that was the feeling that came the first time he got high with Brent. Warmth seemed to spread through his entire body as he inhaled the joint deeply, not releasing until his lungs burned and singed with smoke. He had wanted to be nervous, he had felt nervous, but trust and excitement overtook him.

After all, Brent was right there. Brent was holding the joint, Brent was handing him his water when he choked, Brent was staring at him with warm and dark eyes. Brent, Brent, Brent. Ryan’s hand shot out suddenly, searching for the other and clung to his arm tightly, fingers curled just below his bicep. He could feel himself trembling a bit, twitchy little involuntary movements and he was suddenly glad he hadn’t held the joint himself. 

It would be just his luck to drop it and burn the house down around them. But Brent had it and he didn’t seem to be letting it go anytime soon. His free hand found Ryan’s ribs and rubbed his skin over the layers of clothes he had on. Ryan felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest or maybe explode into a million pieces. Maybe he’d die right there, sitting on his friend’s bed and staring at him, weed in his body for the very first time. 

He felt like he wasn’t even in his own body anymore. It was like there was a wall between his mind and the real world. He felt simultaneously alive and dead. It was hard to tell how much time had passed since he’d last inhaled from the joint, was he even high yet? He felt high. His chest was warmer and his throat was constricting more, but at least he’d stopped coughing. He’d had a good life, Ryan considered, he was ready to die there. 

“Are you still okay?” Brent’s words cut through the thick smoke that felt like it was clouding up Ryan’s mind. It helped bring him back to the moment, giving him something to focus on. He felt himself nodding, but his body felt weird. He felt too heavy, his movements feeling slower than normal and as though it took more effort to simply nod. Brent’s fingers still rubbed his side, mindlessly tracing small circles there. 

“I’m okay,” Ryan didn’t recognize his own voice as he spoke and he hoped he sounded more sure of himself than he felt like he did. He wasn’t sure if he was actually okay, but he didn’t know how to explain what he was feeling without sounding like a lightweight. This was just Brent and Ryan knew he shouldn’t care about how he seemed, but he did. “It just feels really weird,” He told him after considering his thoughts for a moment. 

“I know it does,” Brent was smiling at him now, but there wasn’t any malice there. His smile was warm and friendly, and so Brent. Ryan felt himself laughing, the noise vibrating through his throat and chest. And once he started, he found it almost impossible to stop laughing. “You’re okay, though. You’re doing a good job,” He encouraged. The words made Ryan’s chest impossibly warmer, trying to focus on anything else as Brent leaned over and placed what was left of the joint safely into his ashtray. 

Ryan didn’t know what came over him, but as soon as Brent turned back to him, he was leaning forward and pressing himself into the younger man’s space. Everything seemed to move in slow motion like one of those cheesy romance movies he’d watched. He was just grateful for the weed in his system blocking out his ability to overthink things. But without that restraint, his body didn’t stop moving until his lips were pressing against his friend’s. It wasn’t even something he thought to do, his body just moved seemingly on its own. 

He’d kissed plenty of girls before, but this felt so different. He couldn’t tell if it was because it was Brent or if it was because he was a guy or possibly because he was stoned out of his mind. It was probably a mix of all three, he reasoned, but it wasn’t like any kiss he’d ever had before. A large hand found the back of Ryan’s head, pulling him closer and tilting his head into a more comfortable position. Ryan’s brain felt like it was short-circuiting in his skull, not really expecting Brent to kiss him back. Maybe push him away and laugh it off like the good friend he was, but to actually reciprocate this? No, never in a million years. 

But there Brent was, closing the already small distance between them even more until Ryan was pressed against his chest. It was all warmth surrounding Ryan. Brent’s warm hands and his skin radiating through his clothes, soft hair tickling the side of Ryan’s face before Brent’s free hand replaced it there. Ryan’s skin heated up as he was held, continuing to kiss his friend as though neither of them needed air. Honestly, he temporarily forgot he needed to breathe at all, far more focused on never pulling away from Brent. 

By the time they broke away from one another, Ryan’s lungs were burning as though he had somehow inhaled the smoke filling Brent’s veins. For a moment, they just stared silently at one another. Both expected the other to say something, to do something, for anything to break the silence and stillness between them. And after a moment, something finally did. As if their bodies were linked together, they both began laughing at the same time. Ryan thought he started laughing first and Brent followed close behind, but he couldn’t be sure. 

“That happened,” Brent managed to say through a fit of quiet laughter. Ryan couldn’t get himself to stop giggling, way too high to have any normal response to anything. But it didn’t matter. Any other time, he’d be embarrassed and insecure by laughing so uncontrollably, but not now. Not with Brent. Never with Brent, he thought to himself, Brent had always been different. He nodded his head to acknowledge the words, not trusting his own voice just yet. 

“Yeah. It did,” Ryan said finally, just as soon as he could speak through his laughter. This time, Brent leaned in to close the gap between them. Just as soon as they had caught their breath, they were pressed back against one another. Ryan’s eyes closed as he listened to the soft sounds of rain hitting Brent’s bedroom window. It was rainy and cloudy, darkening up the sky outside his window where sunlight normally poured in. The air outside was as cold as it would ever be in Vegas, but it didn’t matter. Inside of Brent’s room, their lips and bodies pressed together, it was the warmest Ryan had been all year.