#word spew

[m-is-for-mj]

Visiting my grandparents and I'm about to cry my Grandma made me eggs and toast for breakfast and ik it seems stupid but i don't see her very often and my other grandmother that i grew up with didn't ever do that type of thing and she's always a really mean, negative person and I'm also not used to people doing things for me but she just did that and it was so nice I'm-

[apple-writes]

hi i need to YELL PASSIONATELY ABOUT THE FLASHES AND THE DEPTHS OF THEIR ABILITIES.

When people think of “The Flash” theyre like “oh yeah thats the guy who *runs fast*” but OH BOY OH BOY IS IT MORE THAN THAT

who knows im PROBABLY late on this train but im bad at reading comics and all my love for Flash comes from fics and animated TV shows and ive never seen it mentioned there

SO ANYWAYS

The human brain is *always* like a tenth of a second behind reality so it does this fun thing where it *predicts* whats happening in real time. So in order for a Flash to be able to run fast and actually *see what the fuck is going on without dying* his brain has to be working *significantly* faster than how our brains usually works.

And since we dont see Flash (of any kind) just *crashing* into things all the time, clearly their brains are like 300% faster as a result.

So this leads me to *thoughts* like i feel like they had to relearn how to exist in the human world by being slow. How bored are they at all times when their brains are literally processing things at near light speed? Did Barry have to teach Wally tricks on how to like, literally always have a project going on in his head to occupy his thoughts so he doesnt get too bored? How did they learn to talk at a normal speed? When working with telepaths like Martian Manhunter, are their thoughts so much faster than everyone else’s? Did they have to be taught to think their words slowly too?

I just have so many questions and thoughts about all of this okay

[its-indigo-not-blue]

howdy folks whattheheckitywhydoessomebodythinkitsokaytosaytheylovemesomuchidontknowhowtobegoodenoughforthat

[chammomiletea-blog]

honestly...fuck all of you

[lascapigliata]

though they’re obviously as different in both importance and use as they get i think “alt right” and “mary sue” are actually useful terms like, when used correctly, and understandably (and maybe correctly who am i to say) we’ve basically outlawed the use of both because they ARE by and large used irresponsibly or harmfully?

i think alt right specifically is helpful because it describes a certain type of racist: usually educated, young, white (duh), hangs out online, aware of messaging and PR and even that name describes their attempts to sanitize abhorrent beliefs. saying “neo n*zi” or “white supremacist” doesn’t describe that niche, which is important since it’s NOT the (classist and often inaccurate) stereotype of an uneducated redneck. like so long as we don’t use “alt right” to distance them from their ideology (since that’s what they WANT) it’s just, accurate terminology?

and mary sue like... IS a kind of character. the problem is that people expanded the term to mean ANY self-insert written by a girl even if otherwise written well, but like its original meaning (self-gratifying, flawless or so stereotypically flawed it’s see-through, irritating, badly written, etc) is a real trope and thus deserves a name. like i don’t think we should be going after young girls for writing mary sues when they’re first starting because We’ve All Been There, but i’m reading this breakdown of handbook for mortals and there’s simply NO WAY to describe this main character except as a mary sue. so like, again, it’s about how we use the term & in this case NOT weaponizing it... not if the term is actually accurate or useful

idk this is a useless post but these might be two of my least popular opinions on the internet so i figured this was as good a time as any to put them out there

[copelandia]

Friend, when you find the person the poems are about, When you meet the person that makes your heart holler and shout, When from previous sadness and darkness they make love sprout, Please make sure you’ll be good enough for them throughout

They are the best person you’ll meet. And I know, trust me, I know, how their lips will be so sweet, And how they elevate you, how they give you wings on your feet, and you will want nothing more than to give into your love’s red heat

But please remember my plea. If you love them, leave them be.

[acarcinogen]

I light my hands aflame To see what lies ahead Somehow got turned around Now I'm looking behind instead I had clocks installed Inside my head But the ticking drives me crazy So I turned time off instead I began to print a book in red But I ran out of ink When I poured It down the sink

[kidtheadult]

People are already cruel enough to each other, please at least try to be kind to yourself.

[dfg-alpha-blog]

Just bored.

My concious is clear, my victory is near, I can hear the echos of my future fears, As i lie here beneath my impending doom, The heavy burden of my soul, Drench in all my anguish knows, To survive it, i must succumb to my fears, My will is shattered and in its fragments, I see the strength it posses in its jagged edges, I snatch each shard and cut the ties that bind me down, I set free what once was caged, In that moment i see myself lying on the ground, And my heart beats wildly with fear, As i see only one known possibility.

[coldgrandpa]

Minor work gripe

I fucking hate the mindset that people asking how you’re doing are just being polite and dont give a shit. I ask people how they are every shift and every “Oh yea nah fine thanks” tells me “Oh yea they just dont want me bothering them” and I move on, but shit man when im the customer and someone asks me how I am I fucking unload my life story, I tell them there was a creep on the bus, that my friends goofed or I tripped in public and looked like an asshole. If you dont wanna know how I am dont ask because im primed and ready to dump way too much info at you, and if I ask the same back I wanna hear about all that jazz, telling me “Rachel fucking tipped shit all over the floor like a cunt I had to clean that shit I hate rachel fuck rachel” then sick, awesome, fuck rachel man what an asshole, I want in on that yo, half my job is customer service and thats not just “Oh what are you looking for, do you need help etc etc” I want you to feel welcome, I want to be “Chill EB guy who told me about his bitch of a sister man what a bitch love that guy im gonna come back for banter and pop vinyls”, its my job, id fucking love that. Vent vent rant rant bla over

[theres12ofthemrun]

weirdest shit ever watching the watchers whilst the watchers watch on withering in the winter wind wound up wearily watching on and on weather wise weakening as the weeks ending worse still worrying its all gone wrong worthlessly wondering if really buying flowers is the best thing will they be welcomed or bare witness to my doom set up once again for a fall i assume

[unorthodork]

Spoken Word

I feel pressured and jumbled up inside, so let’s begin a series for me, although I may not posses a very considerable amount of followers: Unorthodox Rambles. Any posts of mine with such a tag will be a spew of words originating from the heart, one of such sorrow you wouldn’t begin to perceive. To give you a short basis, I’m a sophomore with a homophobic, racist, abusive father raised chiefly in Solano county. Due to poor decision making biased upon past with substance abuse (that he’d at the time passed onto my mother) and adultery conflict, after five years of being in an apartment complex I’d begun to dub home merely on the third year, a final eviction notice was tacked to the familiar burgundy entryway. Rent at the expense of five hundred eventually elevated to numbers alike two thousand and higher, much to my dismay and irritation, countless notices being delivered. Apartment number 121 held memories that established who I am today, both negatively and positively; Birthdays, bonding, fear, arguments, suicidal depression, and abuse amongst other things. Existential to outer world crisis’s, an abundance of our population appear to forget that inner problems are ever consistent for others beside themselves, that the world revolves purely for our own egocentric needs. The human race isn’t entirely such a way, although I’m willing to bet a good portion are without a doubt, unintentionally narcissistic. We grow consumed in our own first world conflict, and rightfully so to be honest: Some people have very complex situations! I’m enduring my own arduous trial as of now, my siblings having done the same and one of them, even worse. I can get into that another time, although as of now I’m discussing the toxicity of the world as is. Why do we strive for perfection, demand such out of the world even if the stones we step over rested upon this cold Earth floor before our Nike’s and Jordan’s did? Must everyone abide to our own twisted concept, to morph into a devil in disguise? An angel with broken wings, some of us are, attempting to mend ourselves back into good health. I despise the taste left in my mouth metaphorically by our ways, the refusal to be the change we seek but our compliance to remain such hardheaded beings. Before you assume the wrong idea, let me state this clearly: I am no saint, nor have my feet been set upon water without the remainder of weight sinking. I am, nonetheless, a victim of the same thing but not to as much extent. I put forth my best effort to be aware of my shortcomings and their solutions, to others’ struggles. I’ve been raised in a family where venting is frowned upon, to display affection is shameful, as to where you struggle with crippling pride. My own mother has stated of all the six children, I had sparks that appeared physically and psychologically. The maturity I have for my age is astounding, and it’s in result of the continuous hardships that have yet to kill me as I still walk this rigged road. Some of said maturity is from just my being itself. If a 15 year old girl can endure so much; Sexual and mental abuse in one of her six failed relationships, mental and ex-physical abuse from her father, neglect and maltreatment amongst starvation and other things whilst trying to be strong for her mother as well herself..why can’t we all look at one another and work together? Work together to overcome issues, whether they be regarding economics or society, politics, just the world in general. Shouldn’t we come together, realize that everyone shares a particular skirmish they’re none too proud of, and truly unite? Community: An association of people as one, a society.together. We altogether don’t really behave as a society, and I wish that could be altered, given I’m unsure such will with due time. Hope isn’t something I’m accustomed to having, but I’ll give a bit into us improving as people together as well apart. I among many don’t set a perfect example for everyone to follow, but..just improvement itself is ideal. I dunno, useless nightly ramble over. 😝

[forsythia37]

Self-efficacy in action or whatever

Well. Left a lucid but scathing message on the voicemail of [local queer therapy group] because while I had had a good experience with a previous therapist about 5 or 6 years ago, the therapist they assigned me over the summer was just kind of terrible. Not so much through fault of his own, but through lack of experience and having not yet developed the ability to recall information from session to session, or set up a system to enable himself to do so like key points in his notes, etc. I’m a Medicaid patient (at least until I get a new job after graduation), and this person was an intern, and I felt like they had only assigned this person to me because I was a Medicaid patient. I know that Medicaid payouts are abysmal, but I have c-PTSD, an extensive trauma history, I’m trans, I’m mixed race, etc--I don’t want to say I’m all that unusual because I actually don’t think I am, but because when I came in for my initial evaluation my panic attacks/hypervigilance stuff were VERY significantly impacting my quality of life (think not being able to go to the grocery store, etc), I feel like assigning me a therapist who said things like “gosh, I don’t really have any experience with PTSD/trauma, I’ll have to talk to my supervisor some more before our next session” REPEATEDLY, at multiple sessions--this was a shockingly bad fit. And as well, a therapist who seemed to have no experience with transgender clients. I would be willing to be a therapist’s first trans client if they had a handle on all the other stuff, truly, but it was just shocking. And then this person would relate their own experiences to mine, CONSTANTLY. Like, this is NOT peer counseling, I am here because I want a professional, with PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES, to assist me in fostering greater resiliency and a better handle on my symptoms. I do care work for a living, so I don’t want to have to care for you when I’m looking for care. So. I broke up with this therapist after several months of trying to make it work. Good faith can only carry a person so far, after all. AND THEN! The agency FORWARDED MY MESSAGE TO MY EX-THERAPIST, and fucking assigned THEM to help me find a new therapist. Now look, I am sure they are understaffed and whatever--but that was WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE, and a pretty big breach of my trust. I’ve been receiving voicemails every once and a while from my “new” therapist (a person I’ve never seen or spoken to) about setting up a session that I have ignored. I have too much shit to do to get riled up about this, is what I thought. Well, this week I got a fucking snippy voicemail about how I should really just take the courtesy to call them back if I don’t want to be seen, because they have to keep making these calls until my coverage with Medicaid expires. FUCK YOU AND YOUR INCONVENIENCE. So. Left a message with a brief summary of these circumstances and expressed my frustration to the voicemail of their clinical supervisor. I have my doubts as to whether or not I’ll even receive a call back, or some kind of apology, but now I have the task of trying to find a Medicaid therapist who is somewhat central and can cater to my niche (but really, not that niche, right?) needs.

[lascapigliata]

this was in the tags of the last post but like yeah - banksy reminds me a lot of joss whedon at least in recent internet reaction

they’re both palatable and ~gently~ revolutionary, in that the people they’re ostensibly criticizing (rich people/men, respectively) are confronted with easy ideas that challenge their ingrained ideology (classism/sexism, respectively) without actually affecting their lives like, at all. rich people/men who are otherwise left-leaning and inclined to being allies so long as they lose no capital (literal or social) would be especially interested in them, especially with nothing else being presented on a silver platter

but like as our collective ideology moves forward, the advent of the internet, etc., people like myself who used to be a fan realize that marginalized people have been saying that same thing but better and for longer, banksy’s/whedon’s noncommittal generic “down with the system”/“girl power” message becomes ineffective? and the message never changes but they still create the work with no sense that it’s nothing worth being so self-congratulatory about

idk just to me it’s not a coincidence that these former icons of feminism/anti-capitalism are kinda crashing and burning around the same time