#would it really kill these men to actually teach the children how to cook properly

[cebwrites]

he’s sweet like candy in my veins

a/n: i live!! for those still around i’ve been getting by slowly and posting art when i can but for the most part, writer’s block is nasty-- i won’t make any promises for when i’ll be post again but for now i gift you this, thank you for your patience with me ┗( T﹏T )┛

(I watched that one filler ep about curry with a friend and that part where the kid talks about the All Blue was super sweet/that’s what inspired me to write this so here we are ><)

ZoSan | oc x canon (Lawrin) | he/they law word count: 0.5k

Morning rays shine pleasantly through the clouds and waters lap against the bay where four pirate ships dock, bobbing languidly with the waves. Each crew’s hustle and bustle within their own and amongst each other is amiable as they prepare to leave the Land of Samurai and the strife it caused behind.

Hard feelings are pushed to the wayside for now but everyone knew the alliance would be over once they were out on open sees again.

Sanji instructs his (marimo) mule where to put heavy crates of provisions needed for the fraught journeys to come, bickering idly with every other complaint Zoro throws his way at being bossed around. Not too far away he can hear Usopp spin his typical grand yarns to a handful of Heart pirates as he’s doing his share of lifting. The older members don’t look like they’re entirely buying his schtick but seem to be content enough to let the kid entertain himself.

Somewhere out of view but well within earshot Sanji picks up on Luffy and Kidd getting into another benign screaming match about Emperors and Pirate Kings.

He smiles.

It lingers as Sanji makes a motion at Zoro to signal he’s going for a smoke break, pecking the swordsman’s cheek as he makes his way up the stairs but doesn’t miss the way Zoro’s hand takes its time sliding off the small of his back. The squeeze in his ribcage doesn’t betray what should be a relaxed, collected if not passive expression.

One... that doesn’t fool the captain resting on the railing he chooses to lean against. At all.  Sanji’s fortunately spared from whatever teasing remarks he caught swirling in the older man’s eye in lieu of what he has to say, however,

“I heard you’re looking for the All Blue, Blackleg.”

That brief flutter from casual affection with his partner at once flickers again and spreads as far as his finger tips. Playing it cool, Sanji busies himself with lighting a cigarette instead of looking at the man head on.

“Yeah, you interested in it too?”

“Nah, but I know it’s out there - Shacchan wants to find it for his dream, right?” 

Kirin leans over to smile at his partner on the deck of their ship-- submarine, barking orders but looking up to give a non-committal wave at his partner’s query.

Sanji’s gaze follows their interactions curiously, immediately noting how the pirate closer to him effortlessly lightens up around Law, the way no matter how busy the latter is, always manages to find time to pay Kirin the attention needed to answer a question or simply look over in approval. 

It’s a warm, playful kind of magnetism they have about each other that’d surely get groans from their less than friendly peers. Sanji suspects they were the cause of Kidd’s gagging noises and exaggerated hand motions earlier from the captain’s discussion table. His eyes drift to movements of green on the lower decks - not just the Sunny’s grass dancing with morning winds, either.

“You’ve got more than one dream too I see, looks like you’re already living this one, though.”

Caught red-handed this time, Sanji can only huff when Kirin’s laugh echoes charming and bright. 

For a brief moment he thinks he can see a spotted cap on the deck below pausing to enjoy the sound, too.

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 121 - I hope none of the birds affected by the sleeping gas died from falling from a height, especially if they fell on concrete. I don't think the gas itself would affect the birds but it also very well might since they can't handle as much due to being much smaller animals or from not being able to handle the chemicals used.

Chapter 122 - Shark's expressions are so hideous 🤢

- At least Raizel knows how to be nice by sharing food lmao. Frankenstein beaming like a proud father of a 2-year-old who's doing that is definitely not praxis though.

Chapter 124 - Shark being astounded that nobles care about innocents is amusing. I suppose that aside from the Elders, the Union members think nobles consider other species to be inferior or like cockroaches or toys.

- Although I do find Frankenstein plotting to teach Seira cooking so she can cook for Raizel when he can't extremely funny, I do also find it somewhat disturbing. He's essentially making a teen girl do child labour. Yes she and Regis are imposing on him and I do think they should be doing some manner of chores, but making her cook lavish meals? I also know she's doing it willingly but it still makes me cringe since something being one's choice doesn't negate it being bad. And yes technically she's 'of age' since she's 217, whatever that means since she's still obviously a teen compared to Raizel who actually is an adult going to school with children (which is a whole other can of worms), but aside from her position as clan leader she's very obviously not viewed as an adult by most.

Chapter 125 - On one hand I'd love to get a front row seat to the internal drama within the DA-5 lile M-21 but otoh I don't want to die a painful death or get beaten up.

- So like obviously Seira knows that Raizel and Frankenstein aren't ordinary humans unlike Regis but it is hilarious to think she just told the truth to two men she thinks are frail innocent humans.

Chapter 127 - You'd really think that the Union would be investing more into memory altering drugs but nah. The only ones they have will also fuck your brain up. Really not a good idea when most of your agents/experiments obviously have been administered aforementioned drugs. If it was only used sparingly on civilians I'd get it but it's quite widespread so...

Chapter 128 - As much as Frankenstein complains about the mess the kids make, he enjoys having them over as much as Raizel does. Soft hearted bastard.

Chapter 130 - The girls bandaging M-21 up even as Regis fights has them being smarter than like 90% of other characters in media. They're the real reason he didn't hit the dust immediately smh.

Chapter 132 - I still think the coming of age ceremony has a 50% chance of actually being them ingesting drugs that are the equivalent of stat boosting items in games but also ya know, real world drugs that fuck you up. The other 50% is just them getting much stronger after they turn 200 because their bodies are just like that and it truly is purely ceremonial and a fun tradition like children's day or girl's day or birthdays rather than something that actually affects them.

- Lol Kranz, Regis won't be leaving a corpse if he dies. Purebloods are just special like that. Can you imagine if they did see a pureblood dying? They'd regret killing them so bad.

Chapter 133 - Raizel commanding Frankenstein to stop his experiments is definitely something, like bro maybe he was figuring out electrolysis, not like you know what he was doing. Plus it's not like Frankenstein listened completely. Man has a lab under his house and it wasn't built after Raizel woke. I guess he only stopped modification experiements on others and only did checkups on himself but didn't stop experimenting for other stuff like idk, better fertiliser.

- Kinda amazing Takeo didn't get stabbed in the heart.

Chapter 137 - I know it's just because Gejutel likely explained the lord's powers to him but the idea that Regis knows what a blood field is because Raskreia does demonstrations to entertain little kids is making me giggle.

Chapter 140 - So the Union only came upon Frankenstein's research 540 years ago... that's only 40 years before Raskreia became lord. Interesting.

- Ah yes... the classic joke of Tao not teaching Takeo korean properly. It's also very amusing envisioning Tao teaching the DA-5 members korean.

- ARIS ARIS ARIS. God she looks adorbs. Also I love her referring to DA-5 as 'my children' and 'my babies'. Aris >>> all other scientists. Amd hi Yuri :)

Chapter 141 - Yuri listening to Aris insulting Crombel repeatedly,,, he probably enjoys every aspect of it from knowing she's not aware he's his underling to being able to hear someone insult Crombel.

- Once again union members don't know jack shit. They think werewolves are extinct while Maduke and Lunark are literally Elders 😭🤡😭

- Werewolves having a small population never made sense to me even with the whole thing about them not having mind control and thus keeping away from humans secretly since even civilians are stronger than humans on average but like why tf would wolves have such a low reproduction rate? And that's why I hc that 90% of them are just homosexual.

Chapter 142 - D doesn't consume your lifeforce bro. That's just the drugs causing heavy strain on the body, etc etc. The rest of your explanation was fine but talking about lifeforce or vitality makes no sense.

- We all know Yuri's smart but the fact that he tries to get Frankenstein as a subject by scouting him first is very clever. It's believable too since Frankenstein is supposed to be quite handsome.

Chapter 144 - Well we don't know of Crombel microchips his Assassination Squad but Aris canonically microchips her experiments 🤣

Chapter 147 - Okay but this panel... she's hot. I'd let her dissect me <3

- If this was some other media I'd talk about the symbolism of the attack looking like a rapier and go on for a paragraph but this is Noblesse so it's obviously just a coincidence lmao.

- "A living robot" so like... a cyborg.

Chapter 148 - Yuri getting pissed at being attacked and retaliating but pretending it was him being loyal to Aris... Love it. Also he must be really confused as to who tf Frankenstein is since as one of Crombel's most important lackeys he'd definitely know about such a powerful experiment under him if they existed and thus unlike Aris knows that he's not been sent by Crombel.

Chapter 149 - Yup def confused, especially when he realises Frankenstein's power is like Crombel's.

Chapter 150 - Girlboss,,, also it's been years and I'm still wondering... why is her outfit like that? Neon genesis evangelion girlboss does have a ring to it though.

- Ah yes, Taivra time.

Chapter 151 - Okay yeah I feel so bad for Takeo but also Aris is so good at manipulating him and and and iwi. The fact that she can cry on command though... impressive.

- "From the beginning you were an only child. That's why I got you to experiment on." Okay cool time to ignore that again for my own amusement of having all of noblesse's named modified human women be related to Takeo.

- Okay I'm obsessed with strawberry milk myself but strawberries do not taste anywhere near that good. Not even the sweet ones.

Chapter 153 - Yeah no I don't agree that Takeo losing his will to live is an insult to your comrades M-21. You could have said all that in a gentler way. Just because Takeo was luckier than you experiment wise doesn't mean you get to be so rude.

Chapter 154 - M-21 misleading Tao and Takeo to thinking he's being experimented on and then turning around to laugh at them when they find out it's just ramyeon... mood.

- I really do wonder what 12th Elder's military medals are for.

Sidenotes - Hammer being smart <3 I honestly didn't remember that part of him and I'm glad he's not given purely negative traits. He's the only reason Shark lived past 2 chapters tbh.

- Truly, D is one of the worst letters of the alphabet to have named the drugs DA-5 uses. The other bad choice would be P. On the opposite end of the spectrum, T would have been a great choice for the irony. Not that it matters since the inspiration for the drug from name to physical transformation is obviously 🍆

- Nobles being so nonchalant about murder is kinda fucked up like yeah they suck but you can't just kill them??? Lukedonia my beloved your justice system sucks. I do hc they can't just do this in Lukedonia though or to other nobles even if outside of Lukedonia, it's just that the jurisdiction of nobles doesn't apply outside of Lukedonia and they do on some level think of themselves as a superior species so they're fine with just... killing people.

- Aris obsessing over handsome men as experiments and treating them like toys but ignoring women altogether? Not experimenting on women? Gaslight gatekeep girlboss,,, a feministe of our own,,, perhaps even a... lesbienne. But yeah I just love how she acts and I love her and how she interacts with Yuri. And yeah he's cool too.

- Tbh aside from how short the skirts are and the white blazers, the Ye Ran uniform really reminds me of my own school's uniform. The colours are exactly the same. We just didn't have blazers since it was a forever summer tropical country, only jumpers for if it got too cold in the air conditioned rooms. And for some people who grow up in tropical countries... 25°C can be too cold.

[fuckingthefictional]

Being Ada’s best friend and falling for Tommy would include.

Becoming friends with her after the boys go off to fight

Some much older lad was trying to flirt with her and Ada looked uncomfortable. So...

“Oi you stupid cunt! Can you fuck off before a bullet gets put into your head by yours truly?”

The man scarpered off after being confronted and publically humiliated

Ada recognises you from the first aid church hall thing

“Thanks for saving me back there”

“no problem us small heath girls have to stick together”

“You’re Y/N right?”

“The one and only, And you’re Ada Shelby”

The old bloke returned with some of his friends I guess not liking the idea of being humiliated by a girl

You just took the pistol from your thigh holster and aimed it at them

“Are you bloody deaf? I told you to leave, so off you fuck!”

They didn’t move so you shot the cap off of one of their heads

“I’m giving you 3 seconds you fucking bastards and not a second more.”

They fled of course

“Christ almighty i need a whiskey.”

“I know just the place.”

After that you became fast friends and became super close.

You both go to the Garrison more than you care to admit.

Ada being surprised at how well you can hold your liquor

The only time you were both pissed out of your minds was on your 18th birthday and you just ended up walking around the streets giggling and singing at the top of your lungs.

You both couldn’t look at a bottle of vodka without gagging slightly

You’re the first person who Ada properly opens up to

She talks to you about her family and boy issues she has because she feels like nobody takes her problems seriously or would be willing to listen to her

“I get so worried about my brothers. I feel like there’s a part of me missing without them here. I’m worried that they might be killed over in France.”

“They won’t.”

“Howd you know”

“Because anyone who shares blood with you, Ada Shelby, would: a) never willingly leave someone they love alone and: b) would never go down without a bloody good fight.”

You always knew what to say to make her feel better again.

You both felt like you were each other’s sisters that they never had growing up.

Like you have sleepovers all the time

“If you expect the unexpected then doesn’t that technically mean that the unexpected is expected?”

“Y/N it’s 4am go to sleep!”

One time you’d woken up a bit earlier than Ada had and you were looking at her thinking

“Damn I’m so lucky to have her as my best friend!¡”

Then she rolled over in her sleep and smacked you in the face

The first time you met Polly you nearly shit yourself

Ada has gone to the bathroom, leaving you alone at the kitchen table

“And just who might you be?”

Polly was stood at the entry way, stern, cold look on her faceface, hand by her hip ready to grab a weapon if necessary.

“I’m- um, I’m”

“Bloody hell aunt pol put the gun down, if you must know this is Y/N she saved my arse from getting raped by an old bloke.”

“Let her speak for herself Ada”

“I’m Y/N, I scared an old guy off after he tried to feel her up in a back alley.”

“ScArEd hiM ofF, you shot the cap off of his head and they bolted.”

“Why did you do that, did you think if you scared a man off then the Shelby’s owed you a favour?”

“Nope my life is just a mess and I instinctively take care of other because I don’t know how to take care of myself.”

Polly was a lot more happy to have you around after she found out about what you risked to help her niece.

It started becoming a regular occurance to have you over for dinner or a cup of tea everyday.

You just sort of walked into the Shelby house now.

“Hey- Jesus, stop screaming for fucks sake. We’ve ran out of whiskey!”

You’re an honourary Shelby girl™️

Like you would willingly help out around the house.

Whether that’s cooking breakfast, tidying Finns room, or doing the laundry.

Always being there for Ada and being her biggest support

“Y/N I’ve done something bad. Really bad.”

“Put the corpse in ice, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“WhaT nO?! WhY wOulD I HavE a CoRpsE?”

Obviously being close to Ada meant you got close to Finn and he became a younger brother figure.

He comes to you for advice when he’s too embarrassed to go to his aunt and sister.

This family dynamic yoooooo

You began to help the Shelby ladies to run the betting shop.

You did all the numbers and you could read and write.

You also started to teach Finn how to read.

“What does that say Finn?”

“hoo-agh”

“nO”

If you get that reference then ily

You’d get dating advice from Polly too.

“Remember as ladies it’s all about being A-B-C. Always-Be-Classy”

“And a little bit slutty!”

“Ada’s right be a little bit slutty too.”

You’d help Polly look after John’s children on Sundays when she went to church

They seriously love you. They call you Aunt Y/N/N and they look forward to seeing you every weekend.

When the boys come home from France they found the family dynamic had shifted

They obviously weren’t the same after the shit they went through.

But Ada, Polly and Finn we’re happier than they’d ever seen them be

They were having a family meeting around the kitchen table

And you walked into the house as you normally did. carrying groceries

And as you walked into the kitchen

“Who the fuck are you?”

The shelby lads are aiming their guns right at you, ready to blow your head off.

You just looked at Ada, rolling your eyes, “What is it with your family and trying to shoot me on site?”

“They like to shoot first and ask questions later.”

“Aye I can bloody see.”

You just walked around to the kitchen counter and plopped the bags of shopping down.

Polly casually gave you a glass of whiskey which you downed.

“I’m sorry but who the fuck is this random girl standing in the middle of our kitchen drinking our whiskey?”

“Y/N Y/L/N, pleasure to meet you- I assume your Arthur judging by the attitude you’re giving me.”

Polly and Ada full on snorted

“And you must be John, you look just like Katie. The kids have told be a lot about you.”

“All good things I should hope.”

“Shit there were meant to be good things?”

Polly and Ada crying with laughter

“Boys this Y/N, my best friend, the person who did all the numbers for the shop while you were away, John’s kids’ babysitter, Finn’s teacher and honourary Shelby girl.”

Tommy is just in awe even if he hides it

“Welcome to the family Miss Y/L/N”

“You can call me Y/N”

Sexual tension

“GEt a RoOm!”

“Shut it Arthur”

After a few weeks the boys got used to seeing you around the house more.

Whether it was you sat at the table with Finn giving him advice on his spelling.

Or cooking dinner for John’s little ones on a Sunday (which meant you usually had at least one child on your hip)

Or even just lounging on the sofa in a heap with Ada while you gossiped.

Your qualification in nursing often came handy when one of the Shelby men would turn up battered

“That fucking hurt”

“Aye- you should have thought about this before you got into a fistfight.”

Out of all the Shelby’s it was of course Tommy that took the longest to start a full conversation with you

When it happened it wasn’t under the best circumstances

You went to the pictures on a date with a guy you had fancied for ages and the guy in question was snogging someone else- leaving you in the rain for an hour

You banged on the Shelby’s door looking like an absolute mess.

And Tommy opened the door

He didn’t know what he was supposed to do

Ada was not there *cough* at Freddie’s *cough*

And the house was empty apart from Finn, John’s kids and Polly (who was putting the children to bed)

So you just pushed past Tommy who was stood in the doorway dumbfounded

At this point you were shivering from the cold rain and the tears had stopped.

“Now what’s got you knocking on our door this late ‘ey Y/N.”

“Date went wrong, fucker stood me up.”

You were downing whiskey.

Tommy as much as he didn’t want to admit it hated seeing you upset and he knew you deserved better

It took a while for you to notice that Tommy had draped a blanket around your shoulders and had lit the fire to try and get you warmed up

“Forget the fucker. He don’t deserve a gal like you.”

“Thanks Tommy.”

In the morning Polly came down the stairs to find you and Tommy curled up on the sofa together.

She lowkey rooted for yous to get together

Honestly you found yourself constantly covering for Ada saying she was staying at your house when actually she was with Freddie

Because ur a great friend

“has anyone seen our Ada today?”

“Aye she slept at mine last night and we were up most of the night so I let her sleep in.” Definitely not at Freddie’s

“Up all night, that sounds kin-OW”

“If you must know Johnny boy- we were chatting shit about people- mainly you.”

“Uncalled for.”

“Why there’s so much to talk about?”

You were always involved in covering for Ada

Because your cared about her happiness- which was heavily influenced by her love life.

But actually Ada and Polly paid close attention to your love life too with Tommy

When you Polly and Ada were sat in the kitchen having a catchup- they raised the question.

“When are you going to realise that my brother’s in love with you?”

*que tea being spat out* WHAT

Polly just rolled her eyes and smiled, “dear Y/N, its almost obvious that Thomas is falling for you.”

“What the fuck?”

I think you may have been in a constant state of shock after that.

“We broke Y/N.”

Like you couldn’t quite pinpoint when you started to fall for Tommy

But Tommy definitely remembered the time he knew he was in love with you

You were in the kitchen, with John’s youngest child on your hip- making dinner for all the kids.

While Finn was sat at the table trying to read out bits of a book you’d lended him.

Tommy was stood in the entryway watching as Finn struggled to pronounce some of the harder words and you’d just wander over and explain how to do it.

Like to Tommy family is the most important thing in his life.

You’re not blood related but you still gave up your spare time to look after John’s kids, teach Finn to read or even just comfort Ada after a fight with Freddie.

And Tommy admires you for that- you sacrificed a lot in order to care for his family.

So he’s just leant on the doorframe, cigarette between his lips, watching as you got everything ready for dinner.

And he just thought “she’s gonna be my wife and mother to my children someday”

[badacts]

fake plant, real love

for the ‘clint/bucky’ square for @clintbartonbingo. based on this excellent post

The plant was a gift from Natasha in lieu of a real plant - she’d handed it over with an off-colour joke about Bucky barely being able to keep himself alive, which had made Steve frown, but they all know that plants are a pain in the ass when you travel as much as they do. Also, she’s not wrong.

It’s an expensive one, because it looks extremely real right down to the fake dirt in the pot. It’s a deep green, a bright spot of colour in his spartan, off-white rooms. Bucky sets it on the window sill and promptly forgets about it.

Things change, and keep changing. Bucky somehow ends up with Clint Barton in his bed, which progresses to Clint Barton very quietly moving himself in like he thinks Bucky might not notice if he’s subtle about it. Bucky’s personally pretty keen on Clint being there - in his bed, in his kitchen (barely awake), on his couch at the end of their longest days - so he just makes space for Clint where necessary and leaves him to it.

They fit together. Clint is kind of untidy, but Bucky, who is fastidious by nurture - or the opposite of it - rather than by nature, mostly finds it kind of comforting to see the trail of mess Clint leaves in his wake. It makes his place...homely. Clint seems to benefit from Bucky’s ability to make him coffee and therefore turn him into a functioning human being each morning. And they’re both, in their most vulnerable moments, not made to be alone. Being together, the two of them, is better.

They’re also good at the division of labour involved in keeping an apartment. Bucky cooks, Clint does laundry, Bucky does the vacuuming, Clint takes out the trash.

“And I water the plant,” Clint says, gesturing to said plant. The fake plant, that is.

Bucky opens his mouth, about to tell him, or call him an idiot, or maybe just ask whether fake plants can survive long term exposure to water.

“This,” Clint says first, “Is the only plant I’ve never killed.” His smile is the genuine, gentle one Bucky loves, crinkling the skin around his eyes with affection.

Okay. Bucky can never, ever tell him that it’s not a real plant.

The plant seems to suffer no ill consequences from Clint’s religious weekly waterings. Bucky contemplates ordering an actual real plant to set him loose on, but he can’t bring himself to do it in case Clint either kills it or realises that he’s currently caring for a fake.

The thing about relationships that no one likes to talk about: sometimes lies by omission are absolutely fuckin’ necessary.

In all other aspects, things are good. Better than, maybe. Bucky, for whom things have been bad, or worse than, for so long, it’s kind of a wild experience. He’d thought the improvements might end with Steve crashing into his life and turning him back into a real boy just with the pure force of his existence, that he’d end up just being alive and barely surviving the things he’s done and trying, pointlessly, to erase them, but no.

Somehow, Clint never learned any of the lessons about accepting his lot in life that assholes tried to teach him. He still wants for better, because of and in spite of himself, and he’s taking Bucky along with him.

Bucky’s in love with him. Like, a lot. And never more so than when he wakes up, warm and easy, to Clint’s gentle snoring - he blames his several-times-broken nose, but Bucky’s more inclined to blame how he sleeps on his goddamned back in a starfish-sprawl - and his heavy arm cradling Bucky close.

Bucky had gone to bed first last night, waking only briefly when Clint had stumbled in later, mumbling reassurance to Bucky in his hoarse late-night voice. Now he’s still crashed out, lashes shadowing his cheeks.

Bucky wriggles out from under his arm, not as careful as he used to be. Clint won’t sleep long after Bucky gets up, for all he might want to, so there’s not much point. He does take a second to watch Clint’s brow furrowing as he registers the loss before he rolls into Bucky’s space on the mattress, grunting something indecipherable.

The sensation in Bucky’s chest is un-fucking-imaginably sweet. It’s ridiculous that he gets to feel like this, but he won’t give it up for anything or anyone.

He pulls on a shirt off the top of the dresser, hiking up his sweatpants on the way to the coffee machine. He’s partially obstructed by a redheaded figure reading in his kitchen.

“Are you trying to expand your housewifery skills?” He asks, fingering the corner of her home design magazine.

“I can already do laundry and kill people,” she replies without looking up. “What more do I need?”

“You’re right. Nothing at all,” Bucky says. “Coffee?”

“Please.”

Bucky gets the machine set up and running, and then digs out three mugs and some creamer and sugar. Nat is all companionable silence besides the occasional fluttering of a turning page. Bucky hums a little to himself as he works, waiting her out.

He’s rewarded, eventually: the little spider is impossibly patient, right up until she doesn’t want to be.

“I need to go to Moscow,” she says in Russian, accepting a mug from him and cupping it between her hands. When she looks up at him, he notes that she has a bruise just coming up on her cheekbone.

“Need to, or want to?” Bucky asks, leaving Clint’s mug on the bench and bringing his own over to sit across from Nat.

“Both,” she replies immediately. “Neither. Will you come?”

“If you need me,” he says, “Or want me.”

“FOUR MONTHS,” Clint barks from down the hallway. Nat jerks, her mug skidding against the benchtop.

The bedroom door slams open. Clint looks flustered - as usual, first thing in the morning - and kind of pissed. “Four fucking months, Bucky!”

“What are you talking about,” Nat says, fixing Clint with a cool look that tells him exactly what she thinks of him yelling at this hour of the morning.

“It’s not a big deal,” Bucky says, not because he knows what this is about, but because he knows when Clint is really, properly angry, and this isn’t it.

“You watched me water a fake plant for FOUR MONTHS,” Clint says, ignoring Nat entirely.

Ah, Bucky thinks. He doesn’t say anything, but he’s acutely aware that Nat is now looking at him instead.

“There are starving children in Africa with no water,” Clint continues, as though that is at all relevant to him and a fake pot plant.

Nat, without looking away from Bucky, says to him, “Your codename is ‘Hawkeye’, and you can’t distinguish between a real plant and an artificial one? How are you even still alive?”

Clint opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again. “How would not being able to do that possibly present a real risk to my life?”

“Traps,” Nat says immediately.

“If you can name me one time you’ve encountered a trap involving fake plants-”

“Morocco,” Nat says. “Bolivia, with the cartel. Montreal. That fake cactus in the bathroom of a mob restaurant.”

“What were they hiding in a cactus?” Bucky has to ask.

“It was a person dressed as a cactus.”

“There was a dude hiding in the women’s bathroom dressed as a cactus?” Clint demands.

“It was the men’s.”

“That sounds more seedy than actually life-endangering.”

“He had a knife.”

“You’re so full of shit,” Clint tells her, and then levels a glare at Bucky. “Seriously?”

“You liked it,” Bucky says, helplessly and absolutely without meaning to.

Nat laughs. Clint blushes, his glare wavering. “What?”

Bucky shrugs. “You weren’t hurtin’ anyone.”

“I wasn’t exactly helping, either!”

“You liked it,” Bucky repeats. “Doing it made you happy. Not really seeing a downside here, sugar.”

Natasha, who generally isn’t here with just the two of them, and who Bucky had momentarily forgotten about, looks Bucky in the face and mouths sugar with a hilarious expression on her face.

“We could always try a real plant,” Bucky suggests. “Seein’ as you’ve been practising and all.”

“Practising for having kids,” Nat adds right as Clint takes a sullen sip of his coffee. He chokes.

“Jesus, Romanoff!” He sputters.

“I thought a dog might be better to start with.” Bucky can’t resist piling on, enjoying the way Clint has gone bright red. Also, he ain’t cut out for raising children, but he thinks a dog might be okay.

“I hate both of you,” Clint says once he’s got his breath back, but he doesn’t mean it - the humour is pushing at his annoyance, about to break it apart. Sleep-ruffled and trying not to laugh and caught in the light from the window, he’s really something.

Yeah. Bucky could have a dog with this guy. Bucky could do a lot of things with this guy.

[atopearth]

Chocolate Temptation Part 3 - Mitsuki Aoi Route

Omggg I dislike Mitsuki’s music gahh, it’s annoying lol. Anyway, it’s kinda cute how he gets embarrassed at people watching him work so closely when he’s decorating chocolate. I guess he’s similar with Jin in that he doesn’t seem very nice hahaha, except they don’t seem like it for different reasons. For Jin, he’s just disinterested in anything aside from chocolate, whereas Mitsuki’s very shy so he doesn’t like it when people focus on him. I’m not sure how old Mitsuki is supposed to be but he’s a man huh?! He looks rather childish so I kinda forget lmao. He just kinda reminded me when he told the heroine that she’ll be cooking for four grown men since it’s her turn to cook dinner tonight and Mitsuki went grocery shopping with her.

Why are crazy fangirls always so.. crazy? Sigh. Look at what they did! Pushed the heroine on to the road, making Mitsuki have to save her from the car but then twist his ankle or whatever and break his bone instead! Are you happy now that you injured the guy you like?! Sigh, these fangirls in all these games and stories really need to get their act together on what their priorities are. I’m surprised Mitsuki is so popular with all the girls everywhere lol. I guess it’s because he’s cute. And him being shy just makes people love him even more lol. I think Mitsuki is so adorable to have this “chocolate zone” where he goes into a trance and talks about what kind of chocolates he wants to make after an idea comes to him, it’s nice listening to his ideas since they sound interesting and he’s so serious about it, so you can really see how cool he is too!

Mitsuki’s starting to warm up to the heroine, he even rushed out to help her when she forgot the prices of some chocolates even though he absolutely hates facing customers! Mitsuki’s chocolates lack the strength in not caring about what other people think about his products huh? Tbh, I think I have a similar problem. Although I try my best to stop other people’s thoughts and opinions to sway or hinder what I choose to do, it ends up affecting me either way. I think I also lack the experience to be confident in myself at work, I guess I gotta try and improve myself along with Mitsuki haha! Just as Mitsuki is not really making the kind of chocolates he really wants to make, I’m also in the same position where the fear of what others will think stops me from doing things the way I want and should. Life is difficult😅😅

Lmao at Mitsuki saying the heroine does so much work for her mook but doesn’t do much at the shop🤣 He made up for being rude by telling her he knows that because he’s always looking at her when he’s making chocolate, so cute☺️ After he bonded with her talking about his reasons for designing whatever chocolates, Mitsuki has been so bold by talking to her first and even saying such adorable things like he’s happy to see her first thing in the morning! Kyaa, so cuteee~ I think, just like the heroine, even though Mitsuki is younger, your heart can’t help but flutter when he’s so innocent and sweet like he is now.

Ohh so Mitsuki is 19, wonder if the heroine is like 24 or something then. I guess yeah, that would be a big hurdle to overcome, he’s like young and just starting to blossom and find his ground in society and as a chocolatier so she doesn’t want to like “prey” on him haha. But he’s so cuteeeee, he immediately said yes when she asked him if he was free tonight before she even said what she wanted him for lolll. Then he says he’s happy as long as he can spend time with her? C'mon Mitsuki, don’t play with her heart like this hahaha. Aww she dressed up and he called her pretty and cute, then played with her hair saying it was fluffy🤣🤣 He’s so innocent, I’m dying🤣

Aww the dinner went so well until the heroine sneakily paid the bill without telling him~ Bills always kill the mood lmao. I can understand how both Mitsuki and the heroine feels though, Mitsuki earns money and is capable so having someone else pay for him makes it seem like she’s treating him like a kid, and he wanted to go along as well, so she shouldn’t have to pay for his half. Whereas, for her, it’s true that the company will cover for it anyway, and she did spontaneously get him to come out and didn’t even tell him what place it was and took him there so she probably felt rude if she didn’t pay for his share. But yeah, it’s a problem that isn’t really about the bill but more about how they view their age difference in the end, so they’ll have to solve it either way, the bill just happened to trigger it haha.

So cute how Mitsuki wanted to pay her back by shouting her for like another date and got her to meet up with him at the park so that Jun wouldn’t be able to tease them hahahah. Hearing a guy say that seeing you motivates him to push himself and work harder and that it brightens up his day is like omg, so sweet, how does Mitsuki even say these things out loud so easily?! It’s kinda cute how all the brothers can tell that Mitsuki really likes the heroine and are very protective of him haha, it’s so nice to see them care about him so much. And it’s funny how the heroine can’t tell at all lmaoo. Mitsuki and Ibuki competing on TV?! Guess Mitsuki’s gonna try his best to beat him now since he thinks that the heroine might get stolen away by Ibuki so he wouldn’t want to lose, he’s already losing in terms of age so I’m sure he doesn’t want to lose in other aspects he can control haha.

Omg, they’re making a piece montee for the competition and the time limit is 10 hours! How do people even concentrate for that long… Dang, Mitsuki is so straightforward, it’s hard to believe he used to be so shy that he couldn’t even talk to the heroine. He’s practically declared that he likes her by saying he doesn’t want her to be stolen by Ibuki haha. Young people these days🤣 But I guess it does help for the heroine to talk to her friend at work about Mitsuki, since she really helped her understand how she really felt and how even though the heroine is worried about the age gap, the friend can tell that she really likes him and that’s much more important than the age gap. I mean, Mitsuki is pretty level headed and even though he may be inexperienced, he can be mature as well so they’ll be fine together! I always find it so amazing how someone just being there beside you can put you so at ease, it’s pretty cool.

Mitsuki is so bold to actually kiss the heroine! He’s younger but he’s really forward! Legit just kept going once she was like, it’s okay, she doesn’t not like it😆 Mitsuki is so stubborn about only asking her to be his girlfriend after he wins the competition even though he wants to keep kissing her lmao. It was obvious that Mitsuki was making a piece montee of the flower bouquet the heroine gave him in the beginning when he was in the hospital that inspired him and made him know her better, but seeing the heroine realise the depth of his feelings and his thoughts behind the piece was really sweet. The happy ending was good but omg the super happy ending seems so nice and fun since Mitsuki and the heroine are home alone together for the whole week~~ honestly though, if Jin and Ibuki always do these last minute going to weddings etc for work, I still think they should hire someone to help out, like seriously, what would they have done if the heroine wasn’t there?? It would have been just Mitsuki working and how could he handle making chocolate and the customer service?? Anywho, now they can bond alone without anyone interrupting them I guess lol.

Lol, they’ve kissed so many times already and yet they’re still so embarrassed over an accidental kiss lolll. Mitsuki smelling of vanilla and cocoa sounds so good, I bet it smells so delicious and comforting 🤣 Hmmmm I feel like the heroine was much stronger before they started dating. Now, all she does is pretty much cry and be a big baby so that it can show how mature Mitsuki is… Really, two mature people can be together you know… One of them doesn’t need to be inferior or be like a baby for the relationship to work… Sigh. But now that they’re finally together, lol I thought they were together ages ago and knew their feelings but maybe I was getting the happy and super happy ending mixed up lol. Anyway!!! The chocolate making lessons are such a great idea! The chocolates of happiness can only be made by people who care about each other and stuff so teaching people the skills to do it together would create that happiness. I totally would join if there was one here! The ending nicely rounded everything up with them thinking of different ways people could make these chocolates of happiness together😊

Season 2

Back to the competition story as usual, let’s see how it goes~~ I guess since both Mitsuki and Tokita are Dino’s apprentices, they’re going to be rivals in chocolate and love too? Loll. Since they both seem to care a lot about the heroine. I guess a nice difference in this story is that Mitsuki is teamed up with another girl for the competition haha. Otherwise, the heroine and Mitsuki are frustrating me to no end with their lack of communication, coming to pointless conclusions and acting like children gahhh. They were so much more level headed in the first story like seriously…

Anyway, the heroine and Mitsuki continue to be irritating with them doing what they think is best without properly communicating because they’re scared of facing the other and other crap like that, which is very annoying. I also hateee that in every route, all the guys have to love the heroine and create some sort of rivalry. Like, you can kinda see why Tokita is interested in her, but seriously guys, she’s Mitsuki’s girlfriend, hands off, okay?!?! Like, c'mon. It’s just unnecessary love drama trying to push the relationship forward when really, the problem isn’t whether they love each other, it’s that they’re not talking to each other properly. Also, honestly don’t know why the heroine took so long to reject Tokita when she was obviously not interested. Not wanting to hurt him is such a shitty reason since unless she’s really considering him (which she wasn’t!), then she’s going to hurt him either way, might as well make it clear to him asap so that Mitsuki won’t feel so insecure, like dude, you can’t blame Mitsuki for thinking she’ll get stolen when she can’t even reject a guy when she’s already in a relationship. Know your priorities, woman! I also don’t understand what is with these games etc where guys don’t give up on trying to get the attention of someone else’s girlfriend, like seriously? Is that romantic? Do people like this shit? It’s not even like the boyfriend is trash and a jerk or whatever, they’re good people trying to progress their relationship and like they’re all friends too like wtf? Go somewhere else, ugh, I hate these stupid love triangles and fruitless unrequited loves that are ridiculous.

Anyway, the usual Eleanor stuff and chocolate competition happens but wow, didn’t expect Mitsuki to practically propose to her already lol, so young and committed! Didn’t realise that they had a mother, it might have been mentioned somewhere but yeah wow, she really hasn’t been watching over her children and their shop lol. I liked Mitsuki’s perspective for the tournament though, because really, it didn’t show anything about the the chocolate making and then they won, so it was nice to see that Mitsuki understood what his qualities were and remembered why he likes to make chocolate, which is to make people smile, and that’s why he won. I liked that. Anyway, Mitsuki giving her the matching rings was actually the ending! I didn’t even realise lolol! Didn’t get to see Dino’s reactions etc to the competition so I didn’t expect that, now it feels kinda incomplete lol.

Overall, as usual, the first season is great but the second just doesn’t deliver. I feel like for all the first seasons, although they had their similarities, it was mostly different, whereas the second season was literally the same thing for all three brothers, just a change in perspective depending on the brother and some changes in the love rivals and relationships, but otherwise, there wasn’t much of a difference, and the guys were stuck with the same problem e.g. Mitsuki not feeling mature enough for the heroine and trying to block the other guys from courting her. Things randomly resolve because it’s ending but nothing substantial really happens, so yeah, really can’t recommend the second part, maybe except Jin’s one, I didn’t mind that. Otherwise, it was pretty frustrating, why’s it such a common thing in these stories for the guy’s friends to go after the guy’s girlfriend aka the heroine?! Like seriously, ugh.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this game. I probably like it just as much as Princess Closet if we’re just talking about the first seasons since I feel like the relationships, the romance and the stories developed very nicely and at a good pace, the guys were all sweet and romantic in their individual ways, definitely recommend it~

[simplyauroras]

yeethaw & howdy for what will hopefully be the last time partners. i love her with all of my heart, and she just deserves all of the love in this world okay? but enough of me stalling let me introduce you to the love of my life aurora.

biography: ( tw: death tw, r*pe tw, abuse tw, eating disorder tw, self-esteem tw, heart disease tw, suicide tw, mental health tw, depression tw )

it is of my upmost pleasure to introduce to you crowned princess of aurora haraldsen bernadotte of norway

aurora haraldsen was born to a commoner mother turned queen named sonja, by some twist of fate her mother met the king who told his family he would remain unmarried unless he could marry sonja, before they knew it the two were wed

though it was apparent to anyone who was around sonja for even a little while, that the title had gone to her head, and who better to know than her own kin?

aurora came shortly afterwards, and was the eldest of eight six children, ( ages twenty-one, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen, ten & six respectively, aurora herself is twenty-two )

when aurora was around three years old tragedy would strike as her father was killed in a tragic accident, aurora’s mother would continue reigning as queen, but would never remarry

aurora became responsible at a very early age, while at her various lessons the men who were paid to teach her various skills, taught her all the same thing, trust no one, as these men would often rape and abuse the young princess making her believe that it was her fault, this continued until she left the castle ( more on this later )

when she was ten, her youngest sister belle would die because of the abuse and rape inflicted on her, though her mother afraid of staining her image, covered it up to make it look like natural causes

aurora learned from her tween age that there was no room in the castle for anything other than perfection, that a princess should be perfectly poise at all times, she was taught what to do, what to say, how to sit properly, the proper utensils, and all of those other things she found useless

though when striving for perfection you’ll come to realize there’s no such thing, just as aurora did, as her weight constantly fluctuated due to an eating disorder that she developed

she was never anyone’s idea of perfection, she always stumbled over her words, slouched too often, and was always terrible at hiding her emotions, because of this she was often ‘put in line’ by her mother

as if her mother’s words didn’t scorn aurora enough she often hit aurora, who was told very simply to ‘cover up and act like a princess’ a mantra her mother forced into her head, aurora was constantly spilling sorry as if it were an accident

quickly she learned her place, she knew everything someone needed to know about being a princess, though deep down her self-esteem issues were abundant

aurora often spent time with the people who worked around the kingdom, mostly in the kitchen, and that’s where she learned her love for the culinary arts, but more specifically baking

her mother didn’t approve of her past time and aurora was regulated to certain activities throughout the day, on an even stricter schedule than before, so honestly it’d be a huge understatement to say that aurora didn’t have many friends ( or at least many friends that weren’t paid to talk to her )

though despite this it was apparent to anyone who spoke to her that aurora was extremely gifted in anything that she did, including school, any activity she took up she seemed to master, even if it was nothing more than the fact that her mother expected nothing less than perfection from her

when aurora was sixteen she would face tragedy once again when her brother eric would pass away of heart disease, with the loss of belle still not healed, aurora never truly recovered from either

aurora had enough of everything going on in the castle, she planned an escape disguised as volunteer work to sweden, to the royal family there, the bernadottes

while at the castle she met prince nicolas, and quickly the two kids fell in love, everything seemed to finally be falling in place, the two were set to be wed, and at twenty they’d have their first and only child together duchess stjärna ( pronounced star )

two months before their wedding, when star was only six months old, her father prince nicolas would pass away in an apparent suicide

aurora fell into a downward spiral of depression, but knew that she needed if nothing else to provide of her daughter, and although they were never married aurora changed her name legally to bernadotte

aurora had endured too much, she needed a break from europe, well more like an escape, and so she fled to the americas, or more specifically new york

she took star with her ( scared that if she didn’t star would grow up in the same conditions but also afraid that she wouldn’t be able to provide ) and appeared on a baking competition show, concealing her true identity from the rest of the world, she ended up winning, and in the process was offered her own baking/reality tv show ( think the real housewives mixed married to medicine and with cooking & baking shows )

after her mother finally managed to regain contact with aurora last year, they’ve come to an agreement, when the time comes aurora will come back to sweden to rule as queen as she was destined to be ( her mother constantly sends her money even though it isn’t needed to try and make up for aurora’s childhood )

until then aurora is fine with hiding who she is from the public, even though it isn’t very successful because she’s been in the spotlight since she was young

personality:

obviously being raised in royalty she was taught to be eloquent and grace, can maneuver her way anywhere without falling or faltering once, when she opens her mouth it’ll seem to you as if she’s just read an entire thesaurus  

can’t advocate for herself, but if you talk about or mess with the people she loves or her family? she’ll fuck you up, not literally, but her gracefulness will be replaced and she’ll scorn you with her words

is very gifted, can be considered a jack of all trades in a way? 

she’s extremely supportive of her friends okay??? like if you’re looking for someone to be your cheerleader, and stand by your side no matter what

speaking of falling in love, she’s lowkey a hopeless romantic??? like she’s the kind of girl who falls in love with strangers, or sees people in coffee shops and then envisions their wedding, she’s hopeless but ever since her fiance passed away she’s been slower to fall

has extreme trust issues, afraid that everyone is using her something, or wants something from her

she’s very peristent when there’s somethng she’s striving for, hates giving up on anything especially people ( despite having already given up on herself ) she’ll always push to get what she’s aiming for

is the very defintion of kind, does everything in her power to never ever do something mean unless again it comes to those that she loves

still constantly apologizes for just about everything, is afraid that if she doesn’t say sorry for every other thing she does it’ll cause people to hate her or leave her somehow

despite yearning for love and the feeling of being in it, she’s very philophobic, committing to anything romantic terrifies her, especially since she’s under the notion that it’s even more difficult to fall in love with a single mother

hates letting others know that she’s vulnerable, is often disguising her emotion behind a joke, or by baking things in the middle of the night

wanted connections: ( most of these were taken from nova, sue me, criminial minds is owning my ass right now okay )

frenemies

friends

best friend: after arriving in new york aurora sorta didn’t see the use for a best friend, she simply shrugged off the thought of finding someone who could understand her, and then suddenly she found them, her best friend, she loves them to bits and pieces, and somehow they just feel like an extension of her, nowadays aurora could never imagine going about life without them

protective friend: let’s be real with each other aurora could use all the protecting she can get, not only is she easily hurt by others, but she often gets her hopes up hurting herself in the process, this is probably someone who sees that and is constantly there for aurora, whether it be reluctantly or not, she can always count of them to be by her side

unlikely friends: aurora is the exact opposite of this person, personality wise, fashion wise, and yet the two are still friends, and she actually enjoys it? sometimes she wishes she was outspoken and brash as they are, that she could learn to distance herself so easily, but they constantly prove themselves to be one of the closest friends she has 

confidant: aurora never rushes to open up to anyone, but with this person, things just seem natural, she can tell them all of her secrets and for once not be judged for it, even if most of their conversations have to do with aurora crying her eyes out, or showing the true side of her temper, they haven’t given up hope on her just yet

flirtatious friends: aurora can be a flirt, sometimes, okay never. but with this person things are just different? she’s not drawn to them they way that she’s drawn to anyone else, but what’s the harm in flirting? especially if it doesn’t mean anything to either of them, right? this doesn’t mean anything to either of them, right? 

friends who used to be enemies: aurora has never really hated anyone, other than her mother, but she draws tons of enemies by just being herself, she hates knowing when people don’t like her, so often she’ll try to be friends with them, try to show them there’s more to her than whatever they think, and by pure luck just this once she was successful

roommates: aurora has a fairly big penthouse, and to keep herself from getting lonely she got a roommate, and about a billion animals for her daughter, although their house looks like a zoo, aurora actually loves her roommate? they’ve seen her at her highest and lowest points, and have decided to live with her dumbass through it all, they don’t even have a problem with star living with them, where would she be without them?

lifelong friends: aurora has known this person for what feels like forever, whether or not they know of her ‘idenity’, she couldn’t imagine functioning without this person, they know the in’s and out’s of aurora bernadotte, her deepest darkest secrets…but maybe that isn’t such a good thing

volunteer together: aurora likes to do a lot of volunteer work, so this one’s pretty self-explanatory, they’re friends simply because they enjoy helping out others together, they’ve become closer the more that they do it, but most of the times they talk it’s simply about charity work

ex-best friends: aurora hates knowing that people don’t like her, plus they were really close and aurora really thoguht maybe she could glue their friendship back together, or that somehow if she held on tight enough then her best friend would stop slipping from her fingers, but it turns out the tighter you grip something, the easier you lose it, aurora still misses them, and still probably accidentally texts them from time to time 

forced to be friends because of their social status/family: this muse doesn’t have to particularly like aurora, and aurora may not particularly like them, not that she’d ever admit to that, but because of their social status and who aurora’s parents are she’s constantly forced to hang out with people…who don’t exactly run in the same circles as her 

pr relationship: ( tbh give me this & i’ll cry tears of joy thanks ) aurora is essentially america’s sweetheart, there’s no noticable blemish in her reputation and that’s exactly what happened when their agents set these two up, i mean after all, how hard can faking a relationship be?

exes: uhhhh there’s too many different kind of exes to make this general enough, so instead give me exes on bad terms, exes on good terms, exes who might even still have feelings for each other 

will they, won’t they: aurora and this person have been flirting for what seems like ages, they have a somewhat stable friendship, and she’s been harboring a crush for quite sometime but there’s always some sort of obstacle, a pr relationship, a secret, the universe has a very funny way of saying these two shouldn’t be together, or maybe it’s the universe proving that they can get through anything?

unrequited love: like i said before aurora has a really bad tendency to push away those who love her the most, and this time is obviously no different, they’ve probably never told them about her crush, and she has absolutely zero notice that they even have one, but we all new york has a funny way of making people confess

one night stand: aurora is still trying to find herself, this one night stand was most likely an accident, she probably left in the early morning with no intention of seeing this person ever again, but somehow she can’t seem to escape them

literally anything give me all the angst and feels you can, i promise either way i’ll probably cry about it

[deadassdiaspore]

Share this family :) This is for all African people everywhere, read it all, you need to know this... In July I posted a photo & said typical Congolese meal. What I should have said was pre-colonial traditional Congolese meal. Congolese people started to try & cuss me, because the food I posted wasn't the food they were brought up on. So it looked like I was in the wrong. Sitting next to a Congolese family on the bus I saw what they considered a meal. Fried chicken Fried pork Fried fish Fufu (powdered cassava) White rice Chilli Plantain Dongo dongo (okra) Cassava leaves Let me speak on this for a minute. African people had their cultures & food destroyed. Just because you speak an African language doesn't mean you know African history, you have to study to know. When you read books/journals about food written by African naturopaths, European Anthropologists, Holistic African nutritionists & botanists, you will soon realise that most West & Equatorial Africans, Kemetic & below, right up until desert or dry plains were predominantly vegan. The reason being, everything grew in those regions. Africa grew & ate plenty of natural alkaline foods. We knew the right foods to stimulate our pineal gland to produce our melanin. Now what do many Africans in Africa & diaspora eat? European influenced f*ckry. They stole our lands to grow plants that feed Europe & the European diaspora for their profit. Europeans control the food in Africa. We come from a culture of elders not carnivores. We were never cave people. Rarely, Africans would eat jungle fowl & fish but not domesticated chickens, pigs, cows or sheep. There are no wild relatives of the sheep or goat in Africa. Europeans brought them. Now we think animals that we can't eat raw, fried in genetically modified plant oil is food. Chickens, pigs, cows & sheep are fed on an anti thyroid GMO plant based diet so they get fat quickly, this make you get fat, the rotting meat is irradiated with deodorisers, formaldehyde, washed in ammonia & carbon monoxide to make this rotting blood & pus mess look fresh, 40% of meat sold in supermarkets is spoiled, the meat is pumped full of growth hormones, antibiotics, steroids & sex hormones so they reproduce quickly. We then feed this to our children, their bodies absorb these chemicals & now you have many African girls getting their period at 8 yrs old. It used to be 13-14, they are also developing breasts earlier & boys are able to get erections & ejaculate before they leave primary school. When you fry meat you destroy an amino acid called lysine, this regulates your pineal gland, this is how you produce melanin. The nucleus in every cell in your body is made of melanin. Eating fried meat is destroying your melanin & your health. There was never a frying pan found in ancient African Archeological sites. Do you really want the same health as your parents have? 1 in 3 African couples can't reproduce. 60% of African women have fibroids & thyroid problems & 40% of African men have prostate problems. Remember the Europeans destroyed our food, now they own the food industry, they stopped us from reading so we don't know what we ate traditionally & they have never known how to eat. When you look at them from an anthropological perspective, they were eating very poorly, this cause mental illness. Most of their deaths are diet related. A wolf cannot teach a gorilla how to eat. Yet we let them tell us what's healthy when Africans taught Europeans how to eat in the first place. Just look at what they were eating in the Palaeolithic, Mesolithic & Neolithic periods. The bubonic plague wiped out 25% of the population of Europe, this was due to poor/no hygiene (the moors taught them to wash), having animals live in the house with them & thinking that bread, cheese, milk & cooked animals & people are food. (Google Vlad the impaler (Dracula) look up how they were still eating each other all the way up until the 1950s, there are many records of them eating each other, look up the cannibalism in Virginia in 1609, read a book called Dirt by Terence McLaughlin also read race and civilisation by Frederick Hertz. When you cook meat you also destroy glutamic acid, this feeds your brain, allows you to think properly, keeping you in touch with reality. Two vital proteins that you don't get when you cook meat & don't eat a varied plant based diet. Wild animals don't eat cooked food because it's not good for you. You destroy the enzymes needed to digest it. If you have to cook it, you should not eat it. If you wouldn't feed it to a child, you should not eat it. Cassava contains so much cyanide that it is banned in Japan. It is GMO rubbish & it got to Africa very recently. It is also hybridised. Nature did not create it, man did. The Portuguese imported it to west Africa en mass 300 years ago, it actually allow them to keep the abused Africans alive long enough to get them on ships be enslaved in Brazil and onwards. Now Africans believe it is their traditional food. But many Africans also believe in white Jesus, I don't need to go in to that now do I? Oil stewed Cassava leaves, more cyanide, destroys your liver & your kidneys, Cassava leaves are used as a purgative because your body sees them as a poison, but we call them food? Fish, Fukushima happened recently right? There are oil spills all of the time, the sea is full of micro plastics & the fish are eating this. Filtering the poisons through their gills into their bloodstream. The sea is turning acidic... Your body is turning acidic. The sea is alive with parasitical creatures & the fish ingest these, then you eat them & worms grow inside of you. They eat your food, they make you crave sugar & salt at night... night is when parasites are most active. Your body is in its assimilation phase, when your blood is full of food nutrition. When you cook fish the worm eggs do not die. The worms will wriggle out of your backside at night and lay their eggs in your crotch & ass crack, while you are asleep you will scratch that area & then touch your face, ingesting the worms and starting the process again. At night these worms wriggle up to the surface of your skin & lay their eggs. We call them whiteheads. You wake up with them but aren't sure how they got there. Meat is full of worms & makes the body acidic, land dwelling animals that eat a primarily carnivorous diet don't live long lives. The animals that eat plants do. This is because plants get more oxygen into your tissues, meat takes it away. Just compare the life expectancy of a Maasai warrior (43 mainly eats meat) to someone who lives in Nairobi 67. Look at the average life expectancy of an Inuit (43). Then go to the countryside in India (vegetarian/ mainly vegan) compare the difference in life expectancy to "carnivorous" humans. It is significant If you want to die early with cancer or organ failure, then eat loads of meat everyday. It's actually mad that many people care about where their trainers & bags that they wear on their bodies come from but they don't actually give a f*ck where the dead animals that they are putting in their bodies come from. We were raised not knowing how to eat, we raise children who raise children who don't know how to eat. It's pathetic. Much of the plantain that we eat now is hybridised, it is of the banana family, Google original banana are you will see what a banana really looks like. You could not plant a plantain or a banana and expect it to grow. You shouldn't eat anything that can't reproduce itself. I used to eat much plantain, I don't really anymore but I do still enjoy the taste. Raw or boiled is best for your health. You don't need to fry it, the sun fires it, makes it go brown, you should eat it raw. Chillies are an irritating fruit (anything fruiting & containing seeds is a fruit, tomato is a fruit so is cucumber, anything that flowers is a fruit) Chillies Should be used as a medicine but not consistently as an additive to all foods you eat. Yes it adds heat to your food, it adds heat everywhere & it irritates & inflames your digestive system, this causes enlarged & then distended colons which eventually collapse. Causing constipation & mucus/pus build ups. White rice is imported from China & India. It got to Africa from the east via cultivation in south America. It is not African traditional food. It turns into sugar, it is polished & the fibre (indigestible roughage) is removed. The rice manifests as adipose tissue (fat), causes blockages in your system, this in turn causes constipation, which in turn causes dis-ease & cancers. Research African wild rice, indigenous to Africa. This was replaced by eastern rice but African wild (Black rice is good for you & even stopped the famine in Senegal of 1201. Stop eating so much sugar & salt. It is killing your family slowly but surely. Eat more organic dark leafy Greens, these contain chlorophyll, this is a plants melanin & produces energy in your body & transports oxygen to your cells, which create tissues which create organs which create organ systems. Your body need oxygen & water in order to carry out its biological processes. Eat Fonio, Millet (was the staple in China about 9000 bc in the north, indigenous to Africa.) Boiled yam, Amaranth & quinoa (south American but very good for you) Sorghum, Kamut, Barley, Emmer, purple nutgrass. Eat fresh fruit in the morning(contains digestive enzymes and vital minerals, vitamins). Not cereal & milk. No animal eats milk with anything else but we do, you are smarter than a cow but your diet would disagree. Milk, butter, yoghurt, cheese & ice cream is all the same f*ckry, full of lipids, growth hormones, pus, sex hormones, then it is pasteurised (cooked) so you couldn't digest this bovine mammals milk if you wanted to because the digestive enzymes are destroyed. It causes osteoporosis! You create disease by why you eat. Diabetes runs in your family because the people in your family don't run & all eat the same bullsh*t food like products. I want you to be healthy because I love you. Why should proper health & nutrition just be reserved for rich European families. As I learn I will relay information. Africans were the first humans to eat food on the planet. Let's start acting like it. Pass this on please #chakabars #famfoods Books to read African holistic health, Dr Llaila Afrika Nutricide, Dr Llaila Afrika The Tao of health, sex and longevity, Daniel Reid Cambridge book of world food history.