#wretches and kings

[comradekatara]

ily king on god we’re gonna get u a razor

[1698]

This is how Jean was talking about Neil any time he showed up in tsc

[morsking]

[galecgun]

It took Nappa and Vegeta a year to get to Earth and they did that like it was completely normal for them. Routine. How much more time did they spend just… in stasis, alone, getting from one place to another?

I think he’s around 27 (earth years old) here, but between some details about this scene and the way he acted during the fight on Earth I have to assume there were long stretches of time where nothing happened to him at all, and that’s a lot of why he’s got this sort of arrested development about him.

That and all the trauma

[justablah56]

tee hee . I have more tma art :3

got to her statement a while ago , but ! just finished drawing her soo- it's Melanie !!! my beloved !!!!!

[jessepinwheel]

anyways, in case any of you were like "man, I wish jesse would write more star wars stuff but with more fucked up horror adjacent content" I have good news for you:

here's the evil cyborg cody story I've been briefly mentioning for the last few months, involving a lot of surgery, brainwashing, cybernetics, and cody doing fucked up things to people. it's posted on anonymous mostly because I didn't want to blast 700+ people with forty notifications

at this time, it has five installments totaling about 220k, covering (in order):

cody getting turned into a cyborg,

cody taking over the empire,

padme having a bad time,

cody being emperor while fox feels weird about it, and

anakin having a bad time.

more installments are planned but I need to get back to working on race condition if I want to be ready to post by may so that's where my focus is going now

do mind the warnings etc because I'm not kidding about them. have fun!

[izzyliker]

loving the way that vibes based understanding of queer masculinity from people who couldn’t be further from being queer men has given us evergreen base assumptions for further analysis of the text like “queer men are expected to be a part of the leather subculture by literally everyone especially straight people” and “wearing lots of leather is an attempt to assimilate into heteronormativity and leather culture actually was a reactionary response to other fags being too femme” it’s great and makes enormous amounts of sense

[barbatosgossipsection]

The new outfits are horrible and ugly

— Anon

[tutterypuff]

Simon Petrikov has a subtle boston accent

[hotbucket404]

what are they plotting

[kenzieverse]

Denying Astarion’s little advances until when you eventually kiss him he cries

He’s been so furious with himself for not being able to properly seduce you

And that’s all tied up in feelings of shame and horror that he needs you to like him, beyond any more complex social game

[lesbiandinin]

I hate lizzie prince soo much & shes getting a solo...??? that should have been lyta

[asskylosaurus]

Making off like a bandit today in Neopets

[pinklocksoflove]

@king-of-wrath

Lucatiel was sporting a new outfit she had just bought. Humming along as she made her way. She stops short, feeling something hit her in the rear. It was abrupt and followed by the sound of something or someone hitting the ground. She turns to look, a concerned look on her face.

"Oh dear! Are you okay sweetie? Do you need a hand?"

[boxwinebaddie]

im OBSESSED with the idea of wlw tsot style truly genius wow

AHAHAHSAKHSDKHD!!!!! thank you, bestie! i love being a Genius!

jokes aside, last night, i was looking at the tsot concept, like really thinking hard, squinting at it like....whyyyyy....don't i like this? because idk, i personally think the tsot plot premise was badass, but maybe i am delusional, lmao -- that tracks for me. but deadass, i was like why am i not attached to this for some reason also?

...for some reason, the tsot style was never that enticing to me as a writer? and i thought it was because it was too complicated bc of the high fantasy elements...bc despite me masquerading as a genius i am a Fooking Imbecile like i am a court jester, the town FOOL...smh.

-- or even that it was...too sweet and wholesome for me??? because stan is so devoted to kyle in tsot and they are so in love. they're so cute? which is wonderful and all but i am an Angst Girlie, not in terms of reading fanfic ( yes, i do think its ironic that i write multi chapter slowburn style fanfics and only like to read fluffy oneshots where they get together at the end bc i'm impatient & cannot burn in hell )

tHEN THE SNOW DAY TRAILER CAME OUT AND I WAS LIKE????? EVIL STAN???? HEEEEELLLLOOOOOOO!!!!!! i am OBSESSED. that was an insane choice, i was so feral and i was like i need to write morally corrupted stan it's my duty as an angst queen -- which, you guys, i really think i was meant to write angst and hurt/comfort bc i was writing that lil ravesey drabble and i was like Levitating w/ energy i was so stoked omg i was having a BLAST...i love u, angst.

aN-KNEE-WAYZ! i developed that weird idea/tsot concept and i personally was fucking with it but i was still...not completely happy? and i couldn't tell why and it was pISSING ME THE FUCK OFF????

but now it makes sense...bc they are...Women, lol.

( okay, its uncle nina tsot idea info dump time! if you are rocking w/ me, ur welcome under the cut, please enjoy ur ncu toxic yuri <3 )

P.S. THIS IS VERY LONG -- VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

so i think stan...goes by stas? in the tsot universe. that just makes sense to me, i also don't want to get confused bc i've written style as boys for so long if i keep calling stas stan it will make my brain hurt. SO STAS, LOOOOL!!! which i think is short for...anastasia?

or something weirdly hyper feminine and stas hates it to death, also stassie or stasia is still 2 girlie, so she is kind of also not rocking w/ those...i like how gender neutral stas is. let me know if its not cute.

bUT ANYWAYS AGAIN!!! this post is really unhinged, it's 3 am where i am rn and i am being so crazy, i woke up being really insane abt this. so stas works at her family's inn to help her mom out w/ everything because shelley is kind of a hater and randy is...a menace to society. like when i say stas has to pull that waste of a man out of the tavern oR LIKE THE BROTHEL???? HELLO??? every goDDAMN NIGHT??? shes so mad. especially since he keeps BORROWING MONEY THEY CANT PAY BACK BC RANDY IS SPENDING IT ALL???? AND THE LOAN SHARKS ARE ABT TO FUCKING KILL ALL OF THEM?

eye...hate you so much, randy marsh. *stas vc* Burn In Seven Hells.

however, conversely, i do love stas, WHO IS AN IIIIICON!!!! a bicon if you will, she do be...lying awake having iMPUre thoughts of lying with women oodsfjodosjfpsojf, sins of the flesh lMAAAAOOOO!!!! down so bad like please get A LIIIIFE!!!!!! which she's like Trying, i see you baby!!!! but you know, she has to wear a dress ( she did steal her dads pants bee tee dubs bc its hard to run around in a long ass dress, she truly hates that shit bc its inconvenient as hell, smh ) but yeah she do be drinking plifered ale with the boys and having the worst posture and freaking burping the alphabet and being DISGUSTING????? when i tell you stas is so disgusting...smh. she is giving bean from disenchanted if anyone has seen that show like really and truly. xx

which is SO FUNNY???? because, like all my ncu stans, stas is an uncanny level of beautiful like SSSOOOOOOO PRETTY??? like it is truly INSANE, men be OOGLING her which ew so Much!!! bc A Scurb Is A Guy Who Thinks He's Fly But IS ALSO KNOWN AS A BUSTAAA!!! i think like ravenstan pre!rm boys were just kind of weirdly obsessed w/ her and trying to ask for her hand in marriage all the time like belle from beauty in the beast and she was like ahhhh hell nah KHDSLd.

also, working at the inn she has to deal with tHE MOST ANNOYING FUCKING MEN IN THE WOOOOORLD!!! they are like "you! tavern wench! fetch me some ale!" and she's like pls go fuck yourself but she's also So Nice like all my stans so she's like...Of Course, Sir.

maaaan, W!H!A!C!K!

i think like knights and stuff come and go staying at the inn and she's just like...sigh...that's so fucking COOL, wish that were me! LAME!!! like she literally is not allowed to fight bc SHES A GIRL!!! SO WHACK! she does have dreams abt it...like she does abt women and temptations of the flesh...stas...whack off or something, my GOD!!! nasty girl behavior, i am fucking crying, i love girl failure stas. Based.

i think she secretly kind of works down at the forge with tolkiens dad, btw, i think tolkiens name is...tolkien...blacksmith? lol so much guys. also !~ala pep~ they do still have a crazy rivalry...love my life. i think there is DRAMA during the Challenge Of Champions abt kylie. WHO STAS DOES NOT LIKE RIGHT AWAY BUT I DIGRESS!!!

so stas helps down at the forge bc she thinks swords are so cool. like she is obsessed and i think she makes a lot of armor and swords and stuff but she's not allowed to use them, obvi...and just has to hand them off to idiot men who should Go Die In A War lmaoooo!!! and it sucks so bad...her handiwork is beautiful, btw. i think she's made some shit that ended up at the broflovski castle they just Don't Know.

i am...talking abt this too much when i tell you i got Really Into It. so the RUFFIANS show up and they're abt to kill stas’ family but they give stas One More Day to come up with the money so she rides off ON SPARKY!!!! I LOVE YOU HORSE SPARKY!!!! to the disgraced high wizards castle who obviously...thinks stas is fucking pathetic and is like i quite literally do not give a fuck...ur whole family can choke? and is going to kill her but then...realizes stas is EXTREMELY GIFTED with the sword and is like...hm...i can use you. ;))))) lmao and stas basically has no choice bc if not they will literally slaughter her fam.

soooooo stas basically she ends up enrolled in the Challenge Of Champions which is literally so fucked??? like everyone is about to die, if i end up writing the fic, it's gonna be BRUTAL and very bloody and horrifying, just fyi, so sorry. also stas cuts her hair hella short to pass as a boy and there is a very iconique mulan-esqe montage of her stealing her dads clothes and kissing sharon on the head and riding off to an uncertain fate...leaves a crytic note or no warning? its very depressing stas...loves sharon so bad, she misses her mom. :(((

also i think when she rolls up and is in the camp w/ all the other challenge of champion competitors and contestants, they are like...so what is ur name and shes abOUT TO SAY STAS BC SHES SO FUCKING STUPID LOL I HATE MY LIFE and is like st---aaaaaan??? LOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! and does the medieval version of the nervous bisexual finger gun jazz hand combo i am in PAIN. and they are like...okay? i guess? weirdo? they do think stas is so weird that whole time, she does have a lot to prove AND SHE DOES BITCH!!!! they respect the hell out of her later bc she is WIPING THE COMP, BABY!

which, speaking of stas passing as a boy...i actually do not think she is trans like ravenstan is? i think she is just Really Masc? and likes a lot of traditionally masculine activities and having short hair and doesn't reject the idea of being a woman but thinks its stupid that She personally gets rejected and is not allowed to do things she likes because they reserved exclusively for Men! stas vs. the patriarchy! listen i think raven would fuck w/ stas so heavy she would Scare Him though, like she is Powerful for a human.

i do think she is lowkey ripped like....HEEEELLLOOOOO???

kylie get ur jaw off the floor bestie!!!! STAND UP!!!!

running joke in tkak, i think, that everyone is like...squints...u know u are...like very beautiful for a man? you are kind of the most beautiful man i've ever seen like you are honestly pretty enough to be a girl? and she's like...ahsshahhaa thank you? my mom does tell me i'm kind of like having a boy daughter sometimes...ALSO THAT MADE HER SO DEPRESSED BC SHE WAS THINKIN ABOUT SHARON AND SHE WAS LIKE WHAT FUCK I HATE IT HERE bc i think sharon thinks shes dead or something bc she rode off & just disappeared completely?

okay, moving onto kylie...i am OBSESSED with her also!!! i got a little less on her, but stas is kind of the protag rn so it makes sense? but so when i was developing tkak At First, i gave ky...Reeeeally Long Hair bc i am obsessed w giving kyle really beautiful curly long hair ( jersey my beloved please kiss me on the lips ). she also ONLY has her hair up like for most of the fanfic? in REALLY ELABORATE hairdos?

like the handmaidens do her hair every morning and put that shit up and it does take forever which is suuuuch a pain in the ass ( yes kylie do be dummy thicc like actual kyle...i actually do not think stas has to bind tbh bc shes always in the armor and the really flowy tunic and riding pants and the boots w the short ass hair ( WHEN I TELL YOU SHE IS FINE I MEAN THAT LIKE PPL DIED!!! LITERALLY!!!! )

...she also has zero boobs i gave stan no ass and i think its only fair that stas has zero boobage...but when i tell you...oh my goodness oh my damn...kylie in the corset thing w her biddies pushed up to heaven...stas is abt to throw up constantLY!!!! DOOOOOWN SO HORRENDOUS LIKE PLEASE GO TO HELL!!!!! sooo funny. i have been laughing typing this whole goddamn ask meme, i'm screaming!

stas lying awake at night in a cold sweat bc Women...jaaaaaaail smh.

speaking of women, kylie is like 100% a lesbian like it just tracks bc all my kyles are super mega gay. people don't know about it, they only know that she hasn't taken a husband yet and that her dad keeps trying to set her up with these stupid ass idiot men from other kingdoms and she quite literally drives them away bc shes so SCARY. all my kyles are so scary, kylie is no exception like they call her the tempest bc she is literally so frightening. men run away screaming.

tbh gerald is so serious about her being princessy and hidden away in the castle...when i was developing tkak again and i gave ky the long hair and gerald was constantly having it put up with no exceptions like she is not allowed to be seen by anyone w her hair down? and i was like is it bc kyle...just has long hair and is kind of a little femme? idk? but LISTEN IT ALL MAKES SENSE TO ME NOW BECAUSE ITS ACTUALLY BC GERALD THINKS KYLES MERIDA HAIR IS UNBECOMING OF A WOMAN AND HES A MOTHERFUCKER AND MAKES HER CONFORM THE STANDARDS OF BEING REFINED.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! IS ANYONE ELSE SCREAMING???

oof...the day stas sees kylie w/ her hair down...the homoeroticy...its gonna be so crazy, the tension is going to be so intense omg.

okAY SPEAKING OF THE TOXIC YURI TSOT STYLE...they do hate eachother. kylie specifically hates humans bc sheila is dead in tkak..smh...she was also killed by humans...so kylie HATES humans. she is also really spoiled and coddled and Baby. and stas is tough and worked for everything in her life and is hard as a motherfucker i love you so bad stas...she's so cooooooolll!!! but yeah they bicker a lot. btw...kylie is short in the ncu tsot and stas is tall like i think there is a whole dialogue where stas is like i just never thought that the princess of all kingdoms who possesses all that power would be soooo....and kylie is like? enchanting? radiant? ravishing? beautiful? and shes like...Little. KHDLKHDSLK LOOOOOL IM CRYING HELP.

i am talking so much i'm so sorry guys but i said the tsot toxic yuri was like mulan and it so is...its also like Tangled, which are the two best disney movies which fuck you so much disney! free palestine!

but i digress again and i will explain myself because you know how i am; i do not put anything out unless i feel strongly about it. so kylie does not want to engage in ~Princessy Stuff~ mostly bc its whack and she is not trying to belong to a man like Property? but its also because...She Wants To Be A Doctor. <3333

i was thinking too hard about ship in a bottle kyle being the ships sawbones and pep kyle ripping stans throat open to save his life and i was like...doctor!kylie! but obvi...its very frowned upon...women cannot be doctors...Princesses Cannot Be Doctors. she also is nooot allowed to leave the palace bc of sheilas assassination, aaaaalso bc shes a woman...are we sensing a theme here? men suck.

but okay, so stas passes pretty well for a man...also her voice is really raspy and husky WHEEEW ONE CHANCE STAS!!! but obvi when kylie finds out stas is a girl, she says something funny like By Gods! By All The Seven Hells You Are Woman! and stas is like oooooooooofffffffff!!! pleeeease don't send me to the gallows i can explain ( she cannot explain she is supposed to kill kylies dad ) but kylie is like...i will let you live...Human Girl...on one condition...( stas is like u have to be fucking shitting me bc like this is the second time this shit has happened to her...smh ) anYWASAYS!!! kylie is like on one condition...u sneak me past the palace walls and let me see the outside world.

aGAIN STAS HAS NO CHOICE so she's like...Sigh...okay. and i think they have a wizard friend in the castle who charms kylie to look like a boy ( respectfully my ladyship she is so Well Endowed in the chest area and very femme so she cannot pass as a boy like stas can...rip so sorry ) so she can sneak out and not get caught BUUUT!!! the magic only lasts so long so she has to be back like within the hour? stas takes kylie to kupa keep at some point and its...very cute. pls clap.

LAST THING THIS IS THE VERY LAST THING I SWEAR YOU GUYS! so it's called to kill a king bc stas is supposed to kill gerald and not kylie which...stas does avoid asking abt it later bc shes in love with her i hate my life...but its bc she cannot ascend the throne bc shes a girl. again, i hate everything. choke and die gerald. WHICH WITH ANY HOPE!!! HE WILL!!!! MAYHAPS! but cartman is like nahhh i do not rlly care abt killing her she's not a threat?

but then she IS A THREAT bc she's getting in the way of the assassination attempt and stealing the piece of the stick of truth cartman needs to be all powerful and evil so cartman is like just kidding ur gonna have to kill her bestie, she's pissing me off. so he has stas...SLOWLY POISON HER??? w/ some kind of mushroom concoction that goes in her daily tea? and kylie is like oh! thank u stanley...but i think she knows stan is stas at that point bc theyre friends mayhaps...BUT ITS SLOWLY MAKING HER SICK. which is hard to notice bc its really slow to avoid suspicion, kylie is also super chronically ill...she has some sort of Illness the whole fic that makes her kind of weak and frail even tho her mind is strong to mimic kyles diabetes in sp? BUT OOOOOOF I HATE MY LIFE EVERYTHING SUX.

anyways for the 7934709324 time! STYLE TOXIC YURI!!!!

what do we think gayng??? are we rocking w it? *sweats*

-uncle nina, who has to stop coming up w/ crazy au ideas

p.s. i might...accidentally misgender stas and kylie or use stan or kyle by accident when answering questions...if i get them...bc i'm so used to my styles being masculine and boys. so if y'all could be patient with me, i'd really appreciate it bc *stas vc* I Am Only Human.

[utahraptorevolved]

I forgot to exist in tumblr again… anyways TLKOE fixation coming back real?!