#wtf is baron’s last name?

[keeryscharm]

joe keery characters as “weird stuff guys said during sex” tiktok comments

[cpunkhobie]

You don't have to answer this, but may I ask who the other parents are (Raph, Leo, and Donnie's) in your tgmn(?) au?

Ok so I am NOT going to try and make this cohesive at all and I will joust be rambling abt my little guys and I will NOT apologize for that . Expect many a spelling mistake and autism grammar checks

Splinter was first married to Big Mama AKA Mona Lisa AKA [REDACTED] - who is let's just say is a VERY powerful woman. I haven't worked out the exact logistics yet but basically she's a mob / mafia leader that may or may not run multiple puppet governments and have multiple a' corrupt politicians under her thumb. Kinda similar to how Big Mama basically runs the whole hidden city or at least oversees pretty much all the crime that happens within it. I imagine that Lou Jitsu was like , a solid b to a-list celebrity? Kind of similar to Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee since that's the kind of persona he seems to be based off of in the show. The rest basically follows the same premise - Big Mama and Splinter worked together at some point and fell in love but THEN instead of getting kidnapped the marriage actually went thru and they were married for a few years before having Raph.

Turns out for the both of them having a kid on the table was NOT very productive to their already very thin-fucking ice marriage. Especially since up to this point Big Mama had been rather abusive towards Splinter to the point where most of Yoshi's finances relied on her which is the main reason he hadn't Left yet. Yeah suffice to say he got him and Raph (whose abt 6 months old at the time of the divorce) the fuck out of there. And ya let's just say he got reimbursed (which was a FUCKING MIRACLE in of itself.)

This is the design I have for big mama rn ^_^ I am a little bit in love with her btw

Flash forward a few months and oh whose this ? Baron Draxum !!!

Their relationship is MUCH more finicky but ik it lasted abt 2 yrs, and I imagine they had been actually talking throughout Splinter and B. Mama's marriage but it only started going in like - an official romantic direction after the two of them split up. Splinter being fresh out of an abusive marriage, suddenly being responsible for finances for the first time in over half a decade, with a Baby and the PRESS being Up His Ass decided "hm maybe marrying a rich bioengineer with a stable job charming personality who was an emotional support during a rough time in my life isn't such a bad idea." And then it was just like SIKE you have twins , your kids are science experiments, turns out he's TAKEN UR DNA WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT and made a WHOLE NOTHER BABY you had NO IDEA ABT and wtf turns out your kids are fucking super soldiers ? Fuck that that noise ! Take what you can change your name and HIT THE FUCKIN BRICKS !!!!!!!!!

And yeah this is draxum ^_^ his design is still pending but he looks something like this and I am also Madly In Love with him

I might try and make a timeline later on or just like yknow . Edit it down. Some things aren’t set in stone yet but , tldr :

raphs other parent - big mama

leo and donnies other parent - draxum

mikeys other parent - ?

[keii]

Okay so I watched these two One Piece movies over the past couple of nights and the different experiences that I have gone through with both of these movies... First of all... I had A LOT of fun watching both of them (tbh more fun than when I watched the One Piece: Red) and I want to watch it again just from recalling it. I won't go super in depth, this is just me going on a tangent about em.

One Piece Gold (left) was a lot of fun, I loved the premise where they entered this huge ass island/boat city of gold filled with entertainment and casinos (I'm like "ohhh they're on the strip! LOL). I liked the build up of the plot and backstory of the villain. Tbh I think this movie did a way better job at building up the villain in comparison to One Piece Red where it just... IMMEDIATELY went into action??? I enjoy being able to immerse myself in the specific plot and feel of a movie, and so I think this movie did better in that aspect. ALSO, THERE WERE SO MANY OUTFIT CHANGES IN THIS MOVIE!!! It's so cute that for a number of them, they're all matching??? Also... um... Zoro in the beginning of the movie where he just had the baseball cap and he's shirtless... uhhhhh he looked so good wtf... wished they had him in that for longer LOL I also thought Luffy looked SO CUTE in the all white outfit with the orange shades and cowboy hat. Really enjoyed the Sabo appearance in this, tho wished I saw him crush a guy's head!! LOOOL Anyway, really liked this movie.

One Piece movie 6: Baron Omatsuri and the Secret Island is what I watched last night after holding it off since FOREVER AND TBH I DON'T THINK I'LL LIKE A ONE PIECE MOVIE MORE THAN THIS ONE LOOOL. So the main reason why I wanted to watch this movie was primarily because of the ART STYLE. I LOVE HOW CUTE AND EXAGGERATED IT IS. The flat colors, lanky limbs, thin lines, angles, and expressiveness UGH EVERYTHING. I kept wondering why it felt so familiar and it's because the director of this movie is Mamoru Hosoda! And he directed movies like Mirai (my Goro projection movie), Summer Wars, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Wolf Children (I watched this movie when I was in a 3 hour life drawing class and was bawling), etc. ANYWAY-- his influence was STRONG in this movie because the thing I like about his style is the human INTERACTIONS he has between the characters and showing the closeness, with their touches, or expression, and even utilizing the awkward silences in the conversations. It was SO nice seeing the Straw Hats interact in this kind of way and I am just IN LOVE WITH HOW LUFFY LOOKED IN THIS MOVIE HE WAS SO CUTE I LOVE HIM!!! I also love how when Nami wanted Luffy's attention, she would just GRAB HIS FACE. So anyway, as I was looking more into who was involved in this movie, I saw that Masahiro Ito did the screenplay. I had to do a double take on that name. BITCH. OF COURSE HIS NAME WAS FAMILIAR BECAUSE THAT MAN IS THE ART DIRECTOR FOR TEAM SILENT? MR PYRAMID HEAD CREATOR MAN HIMSELF. WHAT IS HE DOING WRITING THE SCREENPLAY FOR THIS ONE PIECE MOVIE. The whole time I'm just thinking "Oh my god. This movie is going to get REALLY weird." And my god... for One Piece/shounen standards... yeah. There are scenes where I had to turn around to Hun while I was watching and go "... You seeing this." LOL LIKE... I KNOW THIS MOVIE WILL NOT BE EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA BUT I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT??? It was like watching the weirdest collab One Piece fanfiction come to life. I just really appreciate the direction and vibe this movie had and seeing One Piece in this kind of style. Honestly would love if other anime directors wanted to take their own spin of One Piece and just make a movie. Yah well that's my tangent, I love One Piece LOL

[disappearinginq]

I’m rewtaching a favorite show of mine - well, up until season 4 favorite - Yellowstone, and I realize that they capitalized on an emotional topic to get out of shoddy writing and what I hate even more is that it worked. 

Jamie and Beth have hated one another from the get go, but between season 1 and season 2, it goes from ‘every sibling in this family somewhat hates the other one but they’re still kind of okay to one another’ to there’s a very intense hatred that wasn’t there before between these two specifically. 

There’s a few scenes where you can make a guess - Beth as a child is blamed for their mother’s death (by her mom herself) when Beth’s horse spooks into their mom’s and the horse crushes her. Okay, maybe that’s why Jamie doesn’t like Beth, and Beth just hates everyone because that’s pretty traumatic. Nope - you get another flashback where their mom is still alive on a Christmas when they’re all pretty young and you find out Beth has always been dramatic, and Jamie is complaining that they should just start opening presents without her because it will be New Year’s before she comes down. Okay, so they’ve always had issues. Some siblings are like that, I get it, fine. One girl, middle child, in a family of all cowboys and she also hates horses? Makes sense - drama is the only way for her to get attention. 

And then comes The Real Issue - some time after their mom dies,I assume Beth is 16 or 15 and Jamie is two years older and about to leave for college, his birthday is in December - so 17 ish. She’s been knocking boots with the other teenage ranch hand (who becomes the love of her life later on) and she winds up pregnant. Rather than go to her father, her older brother, or even the guy she’s been having sex with, she goes to the brother that she doesn’t particularly like, and asks him to take her to a clinic for an abortion. Their family is 6 generation famous - everyone knows this family, their business, etc. John Dutton runs this valley through fear and violence. They founded the town. So they can’t go to a Planned Parenthood, even several towns over, because people will still know and report back to John. So they go to the next door Reservation where Jamie shows his ID while his sister waits in the truck, and the nurse at the desk informs them that a stipulation in getting an abortion there is you’re sterilized. Jamie seems to think about it for a minute, goes back out to the truck with his sister, and tells her it’s okay to come in. 

From then on, Beth absolutely despises Jamie for the rest of their lives because ‘he prevented her from ever having kids without telling her about it.’

And this is where I lose it. 

I get why they picked it, bodily autonomy is a hot topic and so is the fact that indigenous women were sterilized by white doctors against their knowledge for years in a planned genocide. It made the audience so mad that they just stopped paying attention to the amount of holes in this plot. It might’ve even made this make sense if Beth wasn’t the white daughter of a homicidal white land baron who ran everyone and everything in the state of Montana. Why is the blame put squarely on the 17 year old (or the 15 year old) when clearly multiple adults somehow just....screwed the pooch? If you knew who’s kids those were, if you stopped and sort of paled at their last name, why would you not tell the one getting an abortion ‘hey - you sure about this?’ because that’s just too much WTF to expect a white doctor to recognize the rich white kid and say absolutely nothing - no consent form, no talking to her about it - why would you not question Jamie at that point? Why wouldn’t you question Beth? Is this rape? Is this abuse? YOU DON’T KNOW, THEY JUST DECIDED THE EMOTIONAL REACTION WOULD PREVENT PEOPLE FROM LOOKING TOO CLOSELY. Why would you sterilize the fifteen year old in secret when women who are in their 30′s have to get multiple doctors and a psych eval to get a hysterectomy, or tubes tied when their rationalization is ‘you might want kids some day?’ or ‘what does your husband have to say about it?’

Again, it’d would’ve made perfectly logical sense if it’d been an indigenous woman and a white boyfriend (or no boyfriend, or even her own husband, or literally just by being  indigenous). Why does no one question why Jamie was either 1) so angry at his sister that this is some pubescent revenge scheme (except it’s clearly shown that he regrets it - thank you Wes Bentley for caring about your character development when the writers didn’t) or 2) so scared of his dad finding out that his little sister is pregnant that he decides right then and there that getting sterilized is the best course of action? I mean, this is the dad who puts a branding iron to his youngest son (when he’s still a teenager) when he gets a woman from the Rez pregnant and refuses to take her to a clinic for an abortion like his dad tells him to. That’s the son he likes. So the threat is real that something bad would’ve happened if they told their father - bad enough that Jamie and Beth keep it a secret into their 40′s - but AGAIN - why is this on Jamie? And only on Jamie? Is it really that hard to make the leap that Jamie knew what his dad was going to do - drag his sister to a clinic anyways, and then quite probably kill the kid who knocked her up - the kid who winds up being her husband and her father’s favorite son? Why are we not putting the (or any) blame on John Dutton who was apparently so fucking awful at this point that they were scared to go to him and this was the better option? 

There’s too many parts in this story line that make absolutely no sense, or require a lot more guilty adults than just Jamie and Beth (should also note, that for the first season, Jamie and Beth, for having this horrible relationship and skeleton in the closet, still call one another when they’re in trouble - need a ride, need to confess something, try to save the ranch, etc - and then it just vanishes in season 2). 

Maybe I give Jamie too much leeway. Maybe it’s because I love Wes Bentley as an actor and keep watching the Behind the Story shorts on the DVDs where he explains Jamie’s motivation. Or maybe because I really fucking don’t like that they’re obviously trying to make Jamie the Bad Guy because he’s the adopted son and clearly, Adopted Kids are always the Bad Guy in media (I have never met a single adopted or foster kid who was like ‘yeah, my loyalty is to my Bio parent despite the fact that they were so fucking awful that I got taken away by the state and put in a much nicer home with people who actually want and love me, let me torpedo my adopted family’s lives straight into the shitter now that I have my bio family again’. But the fact that the entire fandom in a goddamn western has become like Team Iron Man vs Team Captain America because EmOtIoN irritates the fuck out of me because it’s excusing the writers for having absolutely no fucking idea what they’re writing about and just want drama for the sake of drama and never really thought out how this would actually go down. 

And this isn’t even touching on the fact that any child that Beth had would be emotionally or physically abused because that’s exactly what Beth does to the teenager she ‘adopts’ in season 4, because having a kid doesn’t automatically make you a better person - which they would know, if they looked at the amount of kids in foster care. 

[zmeu-ra]

A deep-dive on the design of a Mega Man X boss who dies after two scenes

Does anyone remember Incentas? He dies wrestling a sexy gambler in Mega Man X: Command Mission. Whatever.

Most Mega Man X bosses are anthropomorphic animals or plants or mythical creatures, but wtf is Incentas supposed to be? He's got six hands and three faces, and his body is made of energy. What even.

Well, I recently deduced an answer! (I've already updated the wiki, of course).

First of all: in his boss fight, Incentas has three different elemental forms. They're called Burning Genie, Lightning Genie, and Dancing Genie. So I guess he's a genie, but there's a lot more to him than that.

See, Incentas' three forms each use different parts of his body: one face and one pair of hands. These faces and hands are all given unique names in his concept art, translated by Udon for the Complete Works book.

Burning Genie form uses the Ra Head and Egypt Hands.

Lightning Genie form uses the Jade Head and Barenke Hands.

Dancing Genie form uses the Baron Head and Bali Hands.

You may immediately notice that there's a theme in Burning Genie's limbs: Ra is an Egyptian god of the sun, connecting this form to ancient Egypt. He even has big calm eyes, a beard, an an uraeus (the cobra headpiece) like the famous Mask of Tutankhamun.

That's neat. But what about his other two forms?

Lightning Genie has the Jade Head and Barenke Hands... Hm. The reference here is not immediately apparent. Let's look at the original Japanese concept art:

The word Barenke is written (パレンケハンド) in Japanese. You know what else can be written that way? Palenque, an ancient Maya city-state located in modern-day Mexico. This reference was totally lost in translation.

It's compounded by the Jade Head, since one of the most famous ancient Mayan relics is the Death Mask of Pacal the Great, which was discovered in Palenque. Said death mask is made of jade, perfectly aligning the head and hand inspiration. His Jade Head has the same green color and kinda sad-looking eyes. Also, it's a royal funerary mask like the last one.

Now for the last one: the Dancing Genie with its Baron Head and Bali Hands. We get a big hint with the word Bali, a province of modern-day Indonesia. That's a third ancient kingdom for Incentas. But what is the Baron Head supposed to be?

Again, it was lost in translation. Baron is written (バロン) in the Japanese concept art, which is also the same way that the Balinese Barong is spelled. The Barong is a panther-like character, a king of good spirits which is included in the traditional Barong dance with a huge mask. Hence this form's Dancing Genie title, and the round vacant eyes and tusks of its Baron Head.

These three inspirations - Egypt, Maya, and Bali - show that Incentas is really based on royal masks from ancient civilizations. All three were once powerful kingdoms with long-lasting relics, architecture, and customs. He really doesn't have much to do with genies at all, as djinn are from pre-Islamic Arabian cultures.

For this reason, I find that the alternative translation of Incentas - "Ancientus" - is a much more fitting name. That's what he was called in the game's E3 demo, so why was his name was changed? Possibly because it's a bit difficult to pronounce in English.

Speaking of his name, in the Japanese concept art he's called "Rouid Ancientus" (ルイード・エンシェンタス). This is likely a draft name, since his fellow bosses have some leftover draft names in their concept art too. But still, what could that first word mean? Could it be a corruption of the English word ruined, reflecting his ancient inspirations? I'm still so curious.

Anyway, Incentas Ancientus has an underrated design, and I hope his designer knows that we acknowledge and appreciate all their hard work and research.

[bayleymania]

AJ Styles had the best performance in the Rumble last night and they have Madcap Moss eliminate him. WTF?

It was definitely the best! He was the number one entrance and lasted 30 minutes, he eliminated like 8 people; it was great! Such a shame how and by whom he was eliminated! I didn’t even know the name of that dude, to me he is Baron's sidekick.

[roseworth]

i just finished the rise of flynn rider and i have a lot to say so spoilers under the cut 😌

i just said this on discord but as long as i dont think about it for more than 3 seconds it was really good!

lance and eugene 😭 i love them so much the author wrote their dynamic so so SO well and theyre so cute i love them

i think the plot overall was really good and i liked the thought behind it :') also EUGENE SAYING THAT LANCE IS HIS HOME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 YES IM CRYING

this line made me scream i love him so much oh my gododdddofiasudfdsifjohkas

also all the flynn rider quotes were SO good i loved them all so much and omg you could really tell that eugene based his entire personality on those books lollll i love it

okay now im gonna be really bitter but its not because i didnt like it! its just because the inconsistencies are what stick in my mind the most 😔

first of all i was sad to find out that anthony the weasel was actually his name, ive always thought that everyone else just called him anthony but eugene called him the weasel to be an asshole

ALSO i love having the characters that already exist in the book but like,,, having the snuggly duckling guys working with the baron kinda makes no sense? like they were all thugs but like they should have just always been at the snuggly duckling bc the baron still has his empire during the series but the snuggly duckling guys are clearly Not A Part Of It which kinda confuses me bc like? how and why did they all get out and go to the snuggly duckling :(

also everything with the baron is kinda.... huh. like clearly it is no longer a circus and is actually just like a crime family by the time the series happens so like,.,.,.,,,.,.,...,. why would he make that switch? also he was acting super out of character the whole time and i know that was partially the point but also when he was smiling and hugging ppl i was like "ok damn baron who are you"

ALSO VARDEROS WHAT THE FUCKDKAJFHDASJ first of all the orphanage should've been in varderos second of all they should have at least BEEN to varderos third of all quaid was canonically the first person to arrest them so like Excuse Me Sir What

its fine im fine

also eugenes memory is shit bc he forgot about the snuggly duckling passage, forgot about the tower, forgot about hookfoot, AND forgot about the dark kingdom aksdjhfdkfj

(in fairness though i was complaining abt it to one of my non tangled friends and he pointed out that to eugene its just a random tower and he would have no reason to remember it 10 years later)

also the ages were off the entire time and it was bothering me lmaooo bc eugene turned 26 when rapunzel was 20 so hes ~5 or 6 years older than her so on her 5th birthday he should be like 10 but he was 12 😤 smh

okay last thing i think but as much as i love the two of them being Upstanding Gentlemen and not wanting to steal or anything... booooooooooooo the entire time the only thing they technically stole was the egg and they did it for a noble purpose 🥱 boring. i know were supposed to assume that they start stealing sometime after the book ends but i wanted to see it :(((( let my boys be scoundrels

jk i have so much more to say so the whole thing with the dark kingdom is?????? i remember even from the preview i was annoyed that he knew about the dk symbol and then he knew that the dark kingdom existed and wtffff that doesnt work bestie! he would obv know about it when adira said "trip to the dark kingdom" and he would have at least mentioned to SOMEONE about his parents from the dark kingdom right?? wtf

also stalyan hhhhhhh what how why when. the baron clearly hates eugene and by association stalyan would probably hate him too so when and why would they get ENGAGED ugh

this threw me off even more than no time like the past but at least this i can regard as Not At All Canon akdsjfhad

[silksandcravats]

Viscount!Kylo Cheat sheet

Hi there! The purpose of this page is to:

Address story gaps and background that doesn’t make it into the pieces

Provide a very basic historical summary to make sure readers who don’t normally read stuff like this aren’t left in the dark

If you have any questions (plot or historical) that are not answered on here feel free to send them in! I will do my best to answer and add it to the list!

Historical bits:

*note* the viscount!kylo universe will 110% contain intentional and unintentional historical accuracies, so hopefully you’re not here for the history, but here’s the stuff that comes up in viscount!kylo au.

Terms to know:

The ton - An abbreviation of french “le bon ton”, not a typo for town lol. The very top of London’s high society largely consists of the nobility (those with titles from Duke to Baron) and their families. Very rich, very very very stiff society rules.

High in the instep - a wordy way of calling someone arrogant

Season - The social season ran from around February to the end of the summer, members of the ton all gather in London for activities like balls, picnics, promenades, teas, etc. etc. The main purpose of these events is matchmaking. Most young women have their first season at age 17, though some mamas allow their daughters to delay their debut a year. Seasons were very competitive and the mothers of debutants, in particular, took it very seriously. Ideally, young women marry in their first season, a second season is understandable, a third season is questionable, if you make it to season 4 or 5 you’re in trouble and everyone knows it.

Rake - a regency era fuckboy.

Debutant - Women who are “out” in society/taking part in seasons/looking for a husband.

Dowager - A widowed woman with a title.

WTF is a viscount?? - A member of the nobility. Technically, in line for the throne but mainly just a rich person with a title. Titles are passed down from firstborn male to firstborn male, second sons are backups, if no sons are had title goes on to closest male relative. Titles can’t get passed down to women, women can only get titles through marriage. The hierarchy of titles is as follows:

King (wife queen)

Prince (princess(?))

Duke (wife duchess)

Marquess (wife Marqueiness)

Earl (wife countess)

Viscount (wife viscountess)

Baron (wife baroness)

Dowry - A (usually grossly high) amount of money gifted to new grooms by the brides family, intended to cover taking care of wife throughout the marriage so the woman is not a financial burden. (no I’m not kidding😩).

Compromised - Okay so purity culture is in full swing in this fic because it’s the 1810s and sexism. But it’s not enough to be a virgin, women can’t: kiss men, be with men unchaperoned, talk to men too much, etc. etc. otherwise she will be “compromised”, take a massive social hit, and nobody will marry her. The only thing that can save a woman’s honour is if the man who compromises her marries her. (Why? idk).

Viscount!Kylo AU plotline Q & As.

What’s our backstory?

 Reader is the only child of a dead baron so our situation is PRECARIOUS AF. Barons are already pretty low on the social ladder and because our dad is dead (idc how he died feel free to insert your own theories), the title of baron has passed out of the family to some distant cousin. Our mother, the dowager barronness is left with whatever small fortune the dead baron left her with so we’re not rolling in it. It is super important that we marry well not only so that we are financially stable but also so that our mother is provided for as she ages.

We are now 20 years old, which is getting up there for a debutant, and we are in our third season so we gotta be smart. However, we for obvious reasons, don’t want to marry an insufferable asshole or a gross old man. (Kylo Ren is an insufferable asshole.)

So Kylo’s just a viscount? 

Yes, so technically Kylo’s title isn’t super impressive, however! Wealth and popularity (two things kylo inherited a lot of) are not necessarily synonymous with rank. Also Kylo’s super hot so obviously still plenty powerful and desirable

What’s Kylo’s backstory/Leia’s deal?

Leia Organa is the daughter of a long-standing dukedom. (For story purposes she was born an Organa she’s not adopted she was never a Skywalker). Her family line is well established, well respect and incredibly wealthy so there was never any need for her to marry for position, because of this she was encouraged to marry for love. She takes this to the extreme and falls in love with Han Solo who is a totally not acceptable match. However, they are totally in love and the Duke and the Duchess Organa really want the best for their daughter so using their connections and a dash of dishonesty the Organas are able to find an old forgotten Viscount line and bestow it upon Han. Han is a total charmer so it works and everyone loves him. He takes on the last name Ren in order to fit into the role and it technically becomes Leia’s last name too when she marries him and becomes Viscountess but Leia kinda resents it because that’s not who Han really is and she likes Organa because it was her given surname and it connects her back to her dukedom.

Han dies at some point shortly before our story takes place because it’s the early 1800s and people died young all the time and I needed Kylo to already hold his family’s title for plot purposes. 

Why don’t we know what sex is?

Because it is considered unproper for unmarried young ladies of the ton to know such things. Most women just get a super vague “talk” the night before their wedding.

Were Han and Leia bad parents?

NO! I know a lot of fics write them as bad parents for plot purposes and it’s debatably canon, but I couldn’t bear it, I just love them too much. Viscount!Kylo’s just an angsty cocky shit because it’s who he is. 🤠

Is this story inspired by Bridgerton?

YES! I’ve stolen bits and pieces from almost every book at this point, but I was primarily inspired by the second book, The Viscount Who Loved Me, (Anthony’s story), it’s enemies to lovers and I adore it with all of my heart.

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part One: The Book of Pheris, Volume I

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part Two | Part Three | TaT)

Contents:  "So, so, so” watch, Costis watch, swearing, trashing the king’s attendants, being objectively wrong, boundless enthusiasm and love 

I promise I’ve had more developed thoughts since these often incoherent ones, but I’ve enjoyed having these notes to refer to - for sentimental reasons and for  entertainment, so here they are, for others who enjoy liveblogs and/or being whisked back in time to their first read of this wonderful book.

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Dedication, Table of Contents, Exordium:

There it is – to Sounis

Exordium – vocab #1

Interregnum?!? Alyta?

Pheris!!!

Yeah I love him from the first page

MOIRA

MOCKING COMMENTS HELP! Gen lives!

A new level of unreliable narrator

Moira, messages of Gods, Pheris, messages of __

Wtf is going on in this study? A zoo?

high king vs great king vs annux?

okie dokie dude

Chapter 1

1. Susa – Costis

2. Infirmity – who gets to be hero/tell story (I started reading right after the book launch, in which mwt spent some time talking about her writing influences and decisions connect to this question - Pheris isn’t her first disabled protagonist and storyteller, of course, but it was lovely to meet him properly directly after hearing her talk about it. Book launch foreshadowing part 1...)

Melisande?

Is this why he wasn’t taught to read?

3. Always the summer

Bees!

4. Hunting cat… hm…

Ok … shrine … 😬

5. Once again we start with a disaster or having to flee

Which Eugenides precipitated

Bite!

Little monster :(

6. Falling…

:(

7. :( :( :(

His purpose? D:

8. YIKES

Chapter 2

9. Hello there! (Gen!)

Massive chair?

10. CRACKED WATER JUG (amphora motif???)

11. Triangle from seal!

Gen that’s rude to Pheris :( (“He will fit in very well with my attendants”)

Wait. This must have happened before ACoK! (nope)

12. :(

Xikander … never made an impression before

How old is Pheris? (lol)

13. Philologos come thru!

Royal closet reappears!

14. Hello weird secondhand scene!

He is Eugenides

Marina…

15. Petrus? GALEN? OH SHIT! 

Is this why Galen was called? (nope)

16. Hell yea Petrus

Miras’ golden balls oh no

All these previously unnamed sucky attendants!

17. Ula – goddess of hearth and healing

Ok … Galen … or a god? Eugenides????? (why did these options occur to me before Mr. Shows Up At Your Bedside At Night himself)

18. Finally the attendant floor plans I crave + hunting scenes!

19. EXCUSE ME he slept through Sounis + Eddis wedding!!!

Again – high king!

20. So Ion is beautiful … hmm.

Yeah … Sejanus has facets. I like it.

21. Clearly no one would know what king would do … lol

Don’t mind me just sorting the attendants on a spectrum of awfulness!!!

22. SO SO SO – ION!!!!!

How many fucking attendants are there and how many are on my hit list!

Is “the necessaries” bathrooms or like … him stealing? (just the bathrooms ... the Gen-Pheris parallels were really getting to me at this point)

:(

23. OH MY GOD THE UNIFIED CREST

Also … frogs. Frogs.

24. Big day for Gen huh

Definitely an aura of Something as he writes about Gen

25. HELLO EVERYONE

26. Sorry Kamet, Pheris does the physical descriptions better. They’re beautiful

I’m blacking out at Eddis and Sounis

27. Jesus Christ. The bear.

Cousin time!

Under the table is the new up on the roof!

Uh… twin imagery ….

Gen’s feet!

Jesus. The matching

28. Cleon … wtf? A cousin?

A trial for Sophos?

Show! Us! Sophos’s! Shoes!

29. If u throw things out the air shaft you might hit the king

Was it a chicken?

Lol nvm the guy at night is Gen. That is … very sweet

- Showing up at night

- Accent

- Complaining about Petrus

- Swearing

- One hand

I am judging Costis and Sophos for not describing the paneling in Gen’s room!

Chapter 3

30. Was it a chicken?

An earring huh, good hand huh

31. Literally screaming “NO!” at Gen. Don’t joke about dying! I am killed by Gen on annux day. This is. My boy. Yes he is perfect. Yes he will refuse to get up. I love him. I died on page 31

Philologos is still the best of them

32. Dancing bear indeed

Always the powdered gold

Ruby!!!!! <3

Aww a smile!!! <3

Pheris he likes you!

33. They both love invisibility and lost it … I cry

Erupt like the sacred mountain excuse me!

OR WORSE return to bed! Lol

34. He’s Eugenides when he’s talking to Attolia

Ouch hero talk

! from Irene!

My queen!

Hey Phresine!

They way we do <3 he’s hating it but he’s so comfortable with her

Sister and bro mention! C’mon!

I love them

EYEBROW

35. Honestly that’s a yes (“I have no idea what you mean, my queen”)

It’s so cute they hang out in the morning … like how long was it even since they’ve seen each other lol

:( tough walk for Pheris

Is it prophecy time?

Lol how long does this construction take?!

Also … she’s pregnant, huh? but no one knows (nope)

Is befriending someone weaponized as a prank count for Gen’s enemies to friends list?

Also SHOW ME the magus. I know he’s here!

36. Pheris excuse me, why not recreate this!

Lol cast off language of history indeed

Feel the thrum of the goddess!

EXCUSE ME… a minor goddess? Mystery goddess? Or Philia?

Oh Gen

37. Well, Gen, someone is having a worse day than you.

Damn, how far we come.

Aww Sounis, babe, I love you and so does Gen

[drawing of the four of them sitting in a row]

38. Artadorus???? Pomegranate?

39. HEIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A friend! Also lol. Two smiles, for Pheris and Heiro..

40. Yesss Melheret joke in action.

Costis has left tho right?

Jesus, Melheret

SHE GAVE HIM A HORSE (I COULD NOT DEAL with this entire conversation, but then again I could not deal with this whole book.)

41. I love them all so much

“on that horse, you will look like a king” I can’t with her sense of humor

He sure did say that

I feel like I’m missing something with the fight on foot thing … remembering battles?

Helen called him Gen!

Sophos stop talking about yourself and bringing apricots into everything lol

Lol these bystanders don’t know how lucky they are. Nor does Pheris, yet

42. She’s protecting him

Also … Gen … you didn’t want to be a soldier.

43. Guards have capes

2 startled men … hm …

Oh Gen. The fucking brutal echoes…

44. :( :( :(

Gen tell your wife you’re sick!

The attendants are so dumb

45. So, so, so :(

Tell who? Petrus?

Wink!

Yes?

46. Bleeding! Salt! Lemon! Heck no! What is he, a piece of meat?

Oranges?

47. “savoring each bite as if it were my last” ... Same … but with this book

Hmm… Alyta! Goddess of the gentle rain! (despite this “hmm,” I did not put the pieces together)

48. Oh no Teleus! And someone?

Aw he realized <3 lemon water

49. Gen eat your broth lol

50. I love them.

Ion’s really trying to make up for what he did that one time

51. Without the approval of the great goddess HAHAHA

I love them. Cousin time! Growl?

Idk whether or not to be reassured, Gen.

Wow Cleon I do not like that. Also didn’t he die? (...)

Comma (“I am not, Eddis”)

Go smack him!

52. Gen I love you.

Helen I love you.

He’s so bad at self care but I love him

Chapter 4

55. love that our narrator just disappears and reappears

56. Attolia’s brother’s bedroom? Yikes. Ominous. A detail in a story we’ve already gotten, different every time <3

57. fucking attendants. 3 good ones. Medander you were beneath Costis’s notice before but I hate you. Costis didn’t have time for you or Xikos or Xikander and nor do I

58. interesting pawn talk!!!

59. <3 Pheris :(

The Gen comparisons though

:( :( :( :(

60. flamboyance <3

Cemphora bush

Bees

61. I love him

62. I love them

Also lol “Your majesty?”

63. Name … hm … (“I have deliberately omitted [my tutor’s] name here”)

64. more twin imagery I swear

WAIT … it was his birthday! Not just Annux day?!! Gen was born in late summer???

Attendant list thank you

65. laying it all out there, huh … (that one Gen quote)

Lol they’re the same but Pheris likes horses

66. Insellia! Hello nice to meet you

67. Gen that’s mean. (“He is hardly even half of one.”)

68. Coleus leves???

“I am Eugenides.” <3

Gen why

69. Gold cups???? Hmmmmm. Also lioness. Def invoking Costis. (they’re probably not the cups, but STILL)

Earth….

70. Moira! Hi!!! Rainbow shawl!

Like a rabbit!

Pester!

I’m … very sad he uses his Attolian accent with Helen

71. Aaah so good

Mortals

Moira knows another messenger?

Does he think he can’t die in battle?

72. hmm are they WRANGLING?! (Galen and Petrus and my Fire and Hemlock word association)

Kill that pastry Irene I love you

morning training with his … guard? (Is that the whole guard or a guard? Costis senses tingling once again.)

73. Oh gen.

Ouch! (“to send people to their deaths and not risk my own is contemptible”)

Is she implying he’s paying Therespides?

74. Interesting Cleon plan. So many doubles

OUCH. (“Only if he comes back from the dead.” I assumed Lader had died in the war; it’s a different ouch now. I love that they both accidentally say things to each other that poke old wounds, and it’s not a big deal but it’s also not dismissed! Their relationship has come so far, and I love them so much.)

75. Verimius – Lavia – Celia??? Somebody is queer in there!

A GUARD

This scene confuses me. Xortix? Layteres? Aris! but dice thing is less political … so maybe? (just wait....)

76. So many reasons to hate Medander

Hey Costis! You exist! KoA happened!

Gen is just … still so uncomfortable and miserable. He chose, he has people, but still.

RIP Clopius also WHAT

77. Lol Hilarion’s grand statements

78. Yorn Fordad Hello!

Luxurious mustache

The mighty Pents?

Besin Quedue – she’s coming 4 you watch out

79. RIP Baron Hippias

Chapter 5

80. Spring! Plays! Cenna!

81. Oh dear

Oh dear

At least they said he was pretty

83. ?!? :( wine

Uh oh. Stockpiling

85. What even.

AAAAAAAAAH COSTIS

86. Omg Irene. Hissing. I love her.

Also … Gen’s the viper

Also this scene was written by Pheris.

Damn.

87. oh no.

What better man

She fucking quoted Howl. I love them.

Also, bees (this scene killed me)

90. Falling?

Oh shit

Also … Juridius and Pheris, Susa and Costis (comparing demands for information)

93. oh my god (IT’S THE WINDOW SCENE)

Oh my god

Uh

94. She! Called! Him! Gen!

I love this and it scares me

Lol Chloe

Irene you learned from her though

95. D:

96. :(

97. water stuff

98. what the heck

OH NO (Quedue scene)

Hm

100. yikes

Omg

Wow.

102. yikes yikes YIKES

103. a blade has protruded from his chest (tbt to The Thief)

jesus

106. shit

Did Gen hit him?

108. lol Phresine

109. lol

I want genuinely every character’s reaction to this shit

Chapter 6

111. what the heck Gen.

112. like a god [crown doodle]

114. Perma?

116. Gen. Gen. Gen. Do not.

117. AAAA (god intervention)

122. Juridius to Dite

124. bye Iolanthe and Ileia! Tell us about Caeta and Silla.

125. did not expect so much Ion

Chapter 7

127. Fryst god of winter

She laughed!

They’re so married

128. OH SHIT (Costis ship is sighted and I remember what’s about to happen next)

Interesting timing

He rode the horse home?

131. Beauty and good, beauty and kind

134. The gods’ goodwill

Keep them safe <3

135. Is that his MOM?!! Wtf (it was!)

Pheris steal those earrings!!!

RING! SMASH BOX!

137. AMPHORA EARRINGS (and flowers)

138. I love Phresine

139. Why do I feel like all the game birds are pigeons

140. meanwhile Gen’s been hanging out with Kamet. Shit. I cannot.

WELCOME HOME BOYS!

HELL YEAH KAMET ATTEND THOSE MEETINGS!

RELIUS COME THRU

141. lethium soup! The reversal

Safe for you

142. of course he knew <3

143. Kamet time! I love him. We get to see Kamet!!!

Also … echo of Gen’s notes on Mede

145. very handsome. … gaycostis vindication (referring to @costis’s url at the time and this post. Little did I know what else was to come in the next chapter and then a few months later with the adaptation news...)

Do you know who I am?

Chapter 8

147. Of course he’s a cartographer

A favorite huh

148. of course she didn’t tell us his age!

149. the angsty window staring I crave

Music!

151. adventure, huh

I do have a soft spot for Melheret

152. concerned about amphora gift

153. Glad they can be well and united in spite!! (Gen and Melheret)

154. Pheris loves math and I love him

155. Hello Teleus. Hello olives

Lol Relius is not into math

156. pigeons. Inkpot!

157. yeah honestly. He tortures people. He was NOT tortured by the king

159. lol (“I have noted the elective nature of certain behaviors” ... I love Relius and Pheris.)

160. The Invitation! I <3 it

161. EXCUSE ME WHO

Legarus!

FOLKS HERE WE ARE (I cannot overstate how wonderful it was to read this page. I did not know who the poem was from, and “Someone loves me very much, even with all my faults” is even sweeter to reread, but it’s just ... his confidence is so different from the tentative consideration of a new philosophy of trust and love we see in KoA. And there is subtextual queerness in the books before this one, some more apparent and some more subtle (and what is obvious to one reader may be subtle or invisible to another, in these books especially), and there is the attendant love triangle a few chapters back, but HERE - here, Pheris acknowledges the real feeling and love in Legarus’s disastrous relationship and tells us directly that his lover was a man, here he seamlessly makes it clear how bi and poly Relius is, and he quietly ties these relationships and realities to his growing understanding of the world. It’s not subtext. And there’s a lot more to come, but this page really hit me, and sort of promised the “more to come” while assuring me that what had come before, more subtly, was there. I used to have heteronormative readings of both these books and myself, and when Thick as Thieves brought them crashing back into my heart after years away, I knew better about myself, and I saw that - or the possibility of that reading -  reflected in the new book, and it was such a good surprise. It meant a lot, and this page meant a lot, and that is why I’m writing a small essay to accompany this note.) 

Lol wow

162. Where are you traveling, man (this question remains)

163. Fuck you, Orutus

164. Stole an inkpot!

165. the map!!! (Kamet’s)

166. I love them!

167. The Math Master hmm

Am I an oracle (Nope! :) )

[joanofarchetype]

A Connecticut Yankee...a kid...that's all well and good but we really don't talk enough about the werewolf in King Arthur's court

This is not a shitpost — in Le Morte D'Arthur, Sir Thomas Malory makes mention of "Sir Marrok, the good knight that was betrayed with his wyf, for she made hym seven yere a wer-wolf". Of course, Malory lifted the tale of the werewolf knight straight outta "Bisclavret," which is one of the Twelve Lais of Marie de France. And it is...wild. There's also "Melion," an anonymous Breton lai which along with "Biclarel" is believed to have evolved from the same source as "Bisclavret". In this post we're gonna refer to the protagonist as the "knight" or the "wolf-knight" and tell a somewhat composite tale.

(A note: this takes place well before commonly established werewolf lore, which crystallized thanks to Universal's The Wolf Man. Curt Siodmak wrote all that stuff about the full moon and silver bullets in 1941 so well that our common imagination accepted it as ancient fact.)

So anyway our guy is a knight who disappears for a couple nights a week and his wife is like ?????? dude ??????? where ??? do you ???? go ??????

And my dude is like "babe I love you but I can't tell you because you won't look at me the same" and she's like "I am your wIFE you better tell me right quick or otherwise have a good nose for almonds in your oatmeal" (jk she doesn't say that because if she did he might've gotten a little foreshadowing of her treachery, but alas, our man was a sucker)

So the knight tells her he's a werewolf, and on the nights he disappears he's wolfing around the countryside and his wife is like !!!!!!!!!! on the inside but makes sure her face is only 🤔 on the outside

(Mind you, Marie de France goes into how the wife is grossed out because she shared her marriage bed with a beast, which has some interesting implications but we'll get to those later)

She starts digging about his transformation until he explains how in order to return to his human shape, he *needs* to put his human clothes back on or else he'll be stuck as a wolf, at which point wifey is 👀👀👀👀

Wifey's like, "but if ur in wolf form, how do u remember where u put ur clothes lol" and the knight's like, "no no, I retain my human mind even in wolf form and besides, I always put them under this one rock outside this cave"

now bear in mind he's never been able to talk about this to anyone so he's pouring his heart out about his deepest secret which he kept even from his wife & I know we're all pretty used to medieval repression but imagine how it must have felt to share this secret at long last 😥

So to recap:

knight: 🤵🏻🛡🐾🌕🐺🤫😅😍♥️💐 wifey: 👰🏼💭🤢🤔👀🧐💡💡👔💍🔪🔪🔪

Our knight is like "yeah so I was born this way and it's just a part of who I am and whew it's kind of a relief to finally be talking about it with someone"

Wifey nods along 🤔🤔🤔 because she's had a💡moment and is 🍳 up a plan...

so the knight has unleashed (pun intended) his secret for the first time in this life and is feeling just dandy, but what he doesn't know is his wife is already plotting his downfall with her...LOVER (dun dun dunnn)

wifey & her secret lover steal the knight's clothes when he's transformed, essentially trapping him in wolf form, get him declared dead in absentia, marry each other & take over his lands

and the royal court goes for this because at this point the whole kingdom knows about the knight's habit of disappearing for days at a time (because medieval nobles are messy gossipy bitches who live for that drama) so they just assume he abandoned her

*~*ONE YEAR LATER*~* (or if you're Malory, *~*SEVEN YEARS LATER*~*)

the king & hunting party corner the wolf-knight in the woods. knight is overwhelmed at the sight of his monarch & runs up to what for all he knows might be his oblivion to kiss king's feet at which point king's like, "THAT'S NO ORDINARY WOLF. HE SHALL JOIN MY COURT IMMEDIATELY."

the wolf-knight goes to live at court where he's basically regarded as a knight (so the takeaway from this part of the lai is that a literal wild animal had a better chance of becoming a knight in ye olden days than a peasant or a woman but I digress)

anyway so there's a celebration at court and who comes to the party but the ex-wifey's new husband, now a baron. understandably, the wolf-knight does NOT react well and attacks him, and the reaction of everyone at court at this near-mauling isn't to say "whoa whoa maybe bringing a wolf to court was a bad idea" but rather "huh, this wolf has never been hostile towards a human before so obviously this guy must've personally wronged him." which is...progressive.

so the new husband/baron/co-conspirator is all "wtf keep it away from me" and the king is like "idk man, what were you wearing? maybe you smelled like royal beef jerky at the time. seems like you were asking for it"

king & the other barons take wolf-knight to the new baron's property. they just need to figure out what's going on because they're not ready to take sir wolf to his final veterinary visit, u feel? they're attached. now get ready for this next part because it's a doozy.

ex-wifey hears about the king's visit so she's waiting with gifts & cakes & shit. the wolf-knight sees her & immediately BITES OFF HER NOSE & he bites it so good her progeny can feel it & henceforth all her descendants are — I SHIT YOU NOT — born noseless. talk about losing face.

under questioning (*cough cough* torture *cough*) the wife admits to her crimes & yields the stolen clothing, which they put in front of the wolf & he just stares at them until they realize "wow yeah sorry dude our bad" and leave the room to give him privacy

when they see the wolf-knight again he's in his human form and in Marie de France's "Bisclavret" it's expressly written that the king embraces him in the bedchamber and gives him "many kisses" (hashtag heterosexual friends doing heterosexual things)

the king restores the wolf-knight's lands and ex-wifey has to live with her ex-baron in exile, forever marked for her betrayal. some real Mark of Cain shit. (obviously this lai has a lot to say about spousal dissatisfaction but that’s another day’s dissertation)

the wolf-knight (Bisclavret, or Melion, or Marrok, or Sir Wolf or whatever you fancy calling him) not only regains his good name, but also the support of a court which now knows his secret dual nature.

something to be hated or feared, only understood and accepted. no one at court shuns him once the secret's out & no one tries to change or "heal" him of his lycanthropy.

remember when I said we'd come back to the wife's reaction? in "Bisclavret" Marie de France specifically states that upon finding out his secret, the wife no longer wishes to "lie beside him." let's unpack that a bit by exploring similar themes across folklore.

the marriage bed serves as a common motif in tales of animal transformation. ex: in "Beauty and the Beast," the protagonist has to overcome her revulsion towards her suitor's ostensible monstrosity before she can accept his marriage proposal. traditionally these stories with mysterious, beastly husbands who are secretly a true catch serve as an allegory for arranged marriage, designed to help young women process their anxieties about being passed from their father's house to that of a strange new husband.

(we should differentiate these tales from those of an ostensibly appropriate groom who turns out to be a monster in disguise such as "Bluebeard," "Mr. Fox," and "The Robber-Bridegroom," as those deserve a detailed thread of their own but also provide good thematic contrast here)

more often the Beast is kind, patient & gives Beauty the time she needs to the detriment of his own freedom from the curse. once the protagonist gets over her anxiety, she ceases to perceive her groom as just a hulking hairy beast and he can take the shape of a prince at last.

circling back to wolves! in most lore both ancient and modern, werewolves represent something uncontrollable; an animalistic second nature which threatens to literally tear through our well-mannered social façade. "Bisclavret" and its various incarnations don't do that.

if you read "Bisclavret" under a queer critical lens, you can interpret the knight as bisexual; a husband has a secret duality to his nature which he is unable to express in their current social order. significantly, he is born with his lycanthropy rather than being afflicted by the sudden, violent means through which most fictional werewolves are afflicted. it's a part of who he is, and it requires no further explanation or cure.

the wolf-knight finds freedom rather than shame in his lycanthropy, and as a result maintains both honor and control while in wolf form. unlike other famous werewolves, he doesn't function as an expression of tension between the id and the superego.

considering how often wolves are used to imply sexual violence (see also: "Little Red Riding Hood" or its medieval predecessor, "The Grandmother's Tale") this would be a fairly positive portrayal of a bisexual man.

however, his wife doesn't see it that way and is repulsed at the thought of sleeping with him again, so she commits adultery and conspires against him. so really, the crimes in "Bisclavret" have a lot to do with sex, just not sexual violence.

the king's attachment to the wolf & the way he embraces the knight can easily be read as homoerotic. there's absolutely an argument to be made about the normalization of homosocial behavior & male kinship across eras but...two things can be true. either interpretation is valid.

so what we have is a werewolf protagonist — not a villain or tortured anti-hero but an honorable man who isn't made to shed his lycanthropy at the end of the tale (tail). rather, he is accepted by his contemporaries and given a place in society to live as he truly is/ROLL CREDITS

[facelessxchurch]

What we’re your thoughts about the book?

Some asks were answered already in this post already so I just smacked those asks in here at the part where I talk about the topic in question, which is why the answer may not 100% fit the question.

Massive “Seasons of War” spoilers below the cut:

First off, of all, this book read like GoT/any zombie movie ever. With the necromancers being like the white walkers, Vile is the night king and daugar are the wights. even with the necromancers crumbling away after Vile got killed Tell me I’m not the only one seeing that.

I think there was a lot of fanservice and some confirmed headcanons in the book, which I really liked. Saracen magic got revealed, there was a return to the Leibniz dimension, the Vile vs Vile fight so many wanted finally happened (tho that was kinda underwhelming) and the Dead Men returned which I’m sure made a lot of people happy. 

Ravel poisoning Saracen during the war and Vile being so powerful bc of being dead were two popular headcanons that got confirmed. And I am personally so happy that this book killed the ‘there is no sarcasm in the Leibniz dimension’ headcanon bc I bloody hated that.

Finally, Landy tries to please the old fans instead instead of what feels like purposefully pissing them off. I guess the phase 2 book sales weren’t that great so far (nice try blaming it on the pandemic, but no). 

I’m also glad that the romance in this book was kept to a minimum bc The Val/Militsa kiss in the beginning, yikes, fanfiction has better written kisses than that. And the the dialog for the lesbian love triangle (bc for some reason Ms.Wicked aka Laura’s self insert is Militsa’s ex??) was cringy and stiff as hell, it felt more like first graders trying to do a dramatic play and not natural at all.

Surprisingly enough Mevolent’s and Serafina’s relationship seems to be the most healthy and romantic in the entire series and I have no idea if that was on purpose or if Landy just has twisted views on relationships.

I however am actually kinda happy with how Mev was written. He was sympathetic and charismatic, tho some of the stuff he did doesn’t fit to they way he’s characterised when he’s on screen (I know he is probably lying 90% of the time he speaks, but still). Like, banning all languages apart from English doesn’t seem like something a man who cares about culture, literature and art would do. It also seems kinda stupid bc those languages will be forgotten eventually and if they need an old text translated no one will be able to do it. Also, why English? Isn’t Mev old enough that his first/original language should be Gaelic? So weird. I have the feeling this was mainly done so Valkyrie (and with that the audience) can understand what the people on the continent are saying bc I very much doubt she understands/speaks any languages apart from English. 

But I loved that Mev was also shown as insanely smart. He managed to outsmart Val multiple times. And I love how he doesn’t need his magic to fight, how quick and agil and skilled he is. So I take it that his fighting style is more based on agility and not getting hit, and he uses brute force only when forced into it (by Darquesse/the Unnamed). I was wondering about that bc his armor is made of leather and chainmail instead of metal plates which is considered light armor and not something a tank type of fighter would wear.

What really rubbed me the wrong way tho was when he was talking Tanith and Skul and more or less stated the war wasn’t a challenge anymore ever since Skul died. Or when he was talking to Val being like ‘you’re more powerful than I could ever hope to be’.It bothers me even more knowing that Val is based on girlfriend!Laura. Does really everyone and everything in-vers, even a big bad like Mev, rub Skul’s/Landy’s and Val’s/Laura’s ego? Big yikes.

Crespular Vies is surprisingly fun. At first I thought the two men going after the Obsidian Blade were hired by the Unnamed, but since that wasn’t the case, I think Crespular Vines hired them that so he could show up in time to save Omen and his friends. I think him opening up to Omen about being Skul’s former partner came too unprompted, too quickly and that he is trying to gain Omen’s trust so he can get close to Skul through him. I think another giveaway that that’s the case is bc one of the men Omen had to meet to get his brother back wore a Cleaver outfit and Vies gave that man probably the same reasoning Omen gave him.

That said Omen’s chapters were surprisingly enjoyable. By what I had heard of others I expected a sad sack that can’t fight worth a damn. 

I’m not found of the Temper/Kierre stuff, it came out of nowhere.

Val is overpowered AF, it seems that she can get on Darquesses level with more practise/learning how to keep the doors open. She certainly needs to be nerfed.

Also I skipped the Darquesse chapters bc I’m giving negative fucks about her and the plague doctor.

The last 10% of the book were too rushed and felt like half finished thoughts.

Also I was kinda really bothered by the citizen of the Leibniz dimension. They were cartoonishly racist and it was very pretty black and white for the most part AKA everybody good is in the Resistance and all other sorcerers are evil/corrupt. That is also shown by there being children in the Resistance camp while there was no mention of children in the mage cities. In reality, most people are fairly mellow and it’s just a small percentage that is either really good or really wicked. I would have liked to see more racism towards mortals in form of apathy or ‘the soft bigotry of low expectations’ like I’ve seen it from Serpine in DotL. You know, make it a little less black and white.

Also, I understand the mermaids, but the bats in Europe were random AF. Like, I would understand it if they were just in Romania/Transylvania as a nod to the Dracula-typ vampire legends originating from there. As a plot-device they weren’t really needed to keep the protagonists from flying bc the danger of getting spotted by necromancer by doing so should be enough of a threat to keep them on the ground. This might seem nit-picky of me, but the bats just seemed so bloody random to me like wtf????

And also bc I’m a slut for magical creatures, I would have really liked to see more of them than just daugar and giant bats. Some undead cut together and resurrected necromancer experiments would have been pretty cool tbh. Like whatever the hell this is.

Something like zombie bears would have also been acceptable, I mean, bears are fucking terrifying on their own, let alone when undead and decaying.

I’m kinda pissed at China that she wanted Skul to kill Nef, but it does seem in character. Of course I still don’t like it bc I headcanon as Nef, Eliza and China having been besties during the war (no matter what canon says, I’m keeping that headcanon). I’m surprised Skul didn’t let Wreath have Nef considering that. Then again, he thought Nef might still be useful. And he was right. I loved how Nef actually had an essential part in saving the world by throwing the bomb. So proud of my boi <3 But Skul refused to kill him even after that. Could it be that Skul is finally getting character growth and development? 👀

Aaaand, China’s continuing to be a tyrant. With Tanith’s sense of justices flaring up shown when he killed the city governor, Erato, and Nef being shown to go after people that betray him (Lorien) I think those two are being set up to go after China to kill her (and to probably kill Creed too). Imagine Eliza joining the team bc she want a piece of China too.

I feel sorry for Baron, but at least he got a few speaking lines this time around. Still, I really wanted Nef to save him. :C Like, he suffered so much before he died too considering he spend a year alone starving and thirsty with broken legs in the middle of nowhere wft, why is Baron getting fucked over like this? #BaronDeservedBetter2020 he is the only honorable person of all faceless followers and he’s the one that gets screwed over in every book he shows up in, why tho- 😭

Speaking of Nef, I absolutely loved him in this book, he was a delight and stealing the show whenever he was on the page, despite being used as  punching bag through pretty much the entire book. If people have always treated him that way I can see why he turned evil jfc that poor man. Despite that, he was still being such a clever, funny and relatable bae <3 He’s described as ‘cynical, and nasty but also kinda cheerful’ and as liking to ‘needle’ people (aka trolling and roasting) by Val and that essentially describes every shitposter on the internet ever. And I so loved the way he roasted Saracen lmao

And how he’s so clever, like the Lorien part was my favourite scene closely followed by how Nef essentially talked Remus Crux into getting himself killed, just 👌 smart snek boi, I love him <3 Also I hope he keeps poisoning everybody thoughts against Skul like how he had already been doing it to Tanith, he’s poison in human form and that’s just my jam.

That obedience bracelet was kinda fucked up tho.

Why does this thing even exist? Aren't electro shocks or any other form of pain enough instead of shutting his nervous system down/rendering him completely defenceless? I feel like some messed up mage 100% used it to keep himself (sex) slaves at some point in time :/ Landy might have gotten that idea from some fucked up hentai. Even the implications of the name "obedience bracelet".... I can’t be the only one that got creepy perv vibes from that thing, right?

Btw what the fuck happened to Harmony? You know, Leibniz Serpine’s girlfriend. She hasn’t been mentioned again. Did she die? She didn’t seem too found of him in DotL, was she plotting against him and he found out about it, killed her and fled the Resistance? Or did she die prior to him leaving and it was part of the reason he left bc she was the only thing that had tied him emotionally to the Resistance?? Or Landy just forgot  she existed. I would not be surprised.

Of course my biggest issue with this book was how he retconned Nef’s magic and how he took his trademark, his red hand, away, but more about that in a different post.

TL;DR: Nef was a delight even though he was done dirty. Mev’s scenes were a 50/50 split between good and bad. I actually liked the Crespulare and Omen chapters. The Unnamed was a disappointment. The last 10% of the book were to rushed and the final fights that were supposed to be the biggest were underwhelming. The rest is meh, didn’t really care tbh. Let’s be real here, I only bought this book bc Nef played a bigger role in it, anyways.

[threadsketchier]

The Glam is strong with this one

Hokay.  Yeah, this project is out of left field but this is what happens at the nexus of my nerdiness, a dim fantasy about what shenanigans I’d get up to if I was an influencer, and a Coastal Scents Hot Pot mega-sale.

(So Coastal Scents is an affordable cosmetics site primarily known for their eyeshadow, but even at $3 a pop for singles, that adds up quick.  Ah, but when their singles go on sale for $0.99 each, now we’re talking.)

For a long time I’d thought to myself, if I could theme an eyeshadow palette around Star Wars, how would I do it?  (Especially because, shockingly, this...hasn’t really been a thing before?  I’m surprised that it hasn’t?)  And then the sale appeared and I was like, why not do a palette per movie for the OT?  Because I’m Extra™ AF.

The empty magnetic palettes themselves aren’t anything remarkable to look at, but I will say, they’re great quality for how cheap they are - weighty, sturdy plastic with a secure closure, full-sized mirror, and nice padding around the empty wells.  10/10 would totally recommend, not just for CS shadows but any standard-sized eyeshadow pot.

However, this part of the project is still a WIP, because I wanted logos for each of the movies on the top lid, not just to help me tell them apart when they’re closed but for the Aesthetic™ too, obviously.  My original plan was to track down good-quality stickers or vinyl decals, but it’s turned out to be a lot more difficult than I anticipated.  Decals are way too big, since they’re generally intended for car windows - these little dudes are only about 5x4″ roughly.  The only other film logo stickers I could find that would work in a pinch came from a vintage 1997 set, but they’re pricey for what they are and I’d feel wasteful not using the rest of the stickers.  In the future, as time allows, I might try to mock up the logos on their starry backgrounds as images on a USB drive or something to take to my local FedEX to print out custom stickers.

Anyhoops, on to the shadows!

I know what you’re thinking - WTF is up with that color selection, those don’t look practical at all, etc. etc.  I’m well aware of that.  XD  These weren’t made with logical use in mind; first and foremost they’re meant to retell the story in color.  Each shadow represents either a character or an event in the films, placed in chronological order.  And this is entirely subjective - I’m just one person with questionable tastes, this could have gone in so many other directions.  But this is what I felt like crafting.

(Apologies for my shitty lighting, I’d have preferred to shoot these in full sunlight but I can’t really do that here at home, so I tried my best with a mix of window daylight and interior light plus some help from a handheld LED lamp.)

First up, A New Hope:

Shadow names in order from left to right, top row to bottom row [format - my label in “ ” followed by the actual shadow name in italics]:

“Dark Lord” - Incognito, a matte black representing Darth Vader’s first appearance

“Princess” - Cloud White, a matte white for Leia’s white senatorial gown

“Mindless Philosopher” - 18 Karat Gold, a rich golden shimmer for C-3PO (which didn’t come across accurately in these photos, it’s not quite as dark and dull as it looks)

“Astromech” - Electric Blue, a matte blue for R2-D2

“Farthest” - Pumpkin Pie, a matte light tan brown for Tatooine

“Skywalker” - Iceberg, a pale blue shimmer for Luke Skywalker, evoking both the color of the sky and his eyes

“Old Wizard” - Deep Roast, a matte brown representing Jedi robes and Obi-Wan Kenobi

“Legacy” - Azure Frost, a more vivid aqua blue shimmer for the blade of the Skywalker lightsaber

“Fast Ship” - Aluminum Taupe, a light taupe grey/brown shimmer - do I even need to say why I picked this shadow, it’s not just a stand-in for the Falcon, all I can think about is Robot Chicken’s “WHAT THE HELL IS AN ALUMINUM FALCON???!!?!” XD

“Superlaser” - Limelight, a bright acid-green satin for the Death Star’s primary weapon

“That’s No Moon,” - Thunderous, a deep gray satin for the Death Star itself

“Flyboy” - Orange Crush, a matte bright orange for the Rebels’ starfighter flightsuits

Next, The Empire Strikes Back:

“Ice Planet” - White Silver, an icy white shimmer for Hoth, natch

“Executor” - Ash Grey, a matte medium gray for Vader’s flagship and the Imperial Navy in general

“Slimy Mudhole,” Olive, a matte drab olive green for Yoda and the swamps of Dagobah

“Asteroids!” - Boca Mocha, a milk chocolate shimmer for Hoth’s asteroid belt

“Among the Clouds” - Peachy Copper, a...well, peachy copper shimmer, lol, for the luminous sunrise and sunsets of Bespin

“Baron” - Golden Avocado, a slightly olive-toned deep gold shimmer evoking the lining of Lando’s sweet, sweet cape

“Absolutely Beautiful” - Raisin Berry, a deep wine-burgundy shimmer for Leia’s Cloud City dress

“Bounty Hunter” - *Team Captain, a deep, grungy matte green for Boba Fett (*This is a Colourpop shadow single that I felt worked better than the original shadow from Coastal Scents, Olivewood - it wound up being too close to Olive above.)

“Carbonite” - Stone Cold, a deep, slightly brown-tinged gray satin for Han’s carbonite block

“Fatigues” - Ashen, a light warm gray satin for Luke’s military fatigues

“The Responsible One” - *Lost and Found, a matte cornflower blue for Lando’s blue shirt, meant to symbolize the shedding of his façade (notice how he somehow loses his cape after he begins helping Leia & Co. escape) and the revelation of his ethics as he tries to help keep both our heroes and his own people free from the Empire (*This is another Colourpop shadow; it’s nearly identical to the CS version but the CS pot came with a minor blemish, so I swapped this in.)

“Core Shaft” - Steel Grey, a medium cool gray soft shimmer for the location of Luke and Vader’s duel and that paternal bombshell

Last but not least, Return of the Jedi:

“Return” - Nectar, a pale tan shimmer representing the sun-baked sands of the Dune Sea as Luke comes back to Tatooine to rescue Han and face down Jabba

“Someone Who Loves You” - Kodiak, a deep bronze-brown soft shimmer for Leia’s Boushh attire

“Pit of Carkoon” - Chocolate Berry, a dark plum-brown satin for the depths of the sarlaac’s mouth

“Old and Weak” - Sage Sensation, a subdued yellow-green satin for Luke’s melancholy return to Dagobah for Yoda’s death and the revelation of his mentors’ deception

“Forest Moon” - Pinehurst, a rich matte cool green for the forests of Endor’s moon

“Bright Tree Village” - Harvest Brown, a matte red-toned brown for the redwood trees and Ewok village

“Father” - *Vale, a black pressed glitter symbolizing Anakin Skywalker’s gradual redemption, by showing the darkness of his anguished soul shot through with glimmers of light (*This glitter is from Dear Katie Brown, and while per their FAQs this is likely not an eye-safe glitter I couldn’t resist including it here, it was too perfect for what I was trying to get across.)

“ISYHCANL” - Spring Fever, a bright lime-green satin for Luke’s lightsaber blade, and a tongue-firmly-in-cheek nod at the crazy acronym this prop has been given in the replica prop community for the 5-second shot of it being turned over in Vader’s hands as he says, “I see you have constructed a new lightsaber.”  Fun fact: that version of Luke’s lightsaber - also called the “Hero” version due to being mass-produced in toys, artwork, etc. as his official saber - is not the one he carries around for 90% of the movie.  The prop most featured onscreen is known as the V2, a much more beat-up looking hilt.

“Conflict” - *One Night Stand, a rich metallic red shimmer for Vader’s blade and the turmoil within him as he attempts to turn his son to the Dark Side (*This shadow comes from Looxi Beauty.)

“So Be It” - *Dreamboat, a pale lavender-blue shimmer for the Emperor’s Force lightning (*Another Looxi Beauty shadow)

“Pyre” - Bahama Mama, a light orange shimmer for the flames of Anakin Skywalker’s funeral pyre

“Victory Celebration” - Fairy Gold, a yellow-gold satin that’s not exactly meant to represent the Rebellion’s party at the end of the film, but the actual yellow coloring of the Star Wars logo itself, showcasing how the OT saga has come to a satisfying conclusion

Am I tempted to create looks with these?  Of course.  But to be completely honest, I assembled these mostly for the fun of it when I saw I had an opportunity without breaking the bank.  I already have more than enough eyeshadow to play around with (especially since I don’t have time to wear them on a daily basis), and I actually wish I could gift these to someone else who could get some creative enjoyment out of them, but I don’t know who would want them, lol.  For now they’ll hang out in my collection, and hopefully I can get those decals done for them.

[mystrangeaddiction-petra-venj]

Serenity Vidaj

(I finally competed something)

Awoken- Hunter- Nightstalker

Resurrected - Right after the Last City was founded- Exact date unknown due to ghost

Ghost - Critical Failure(just Fail or Critical is fine though)Has a split personality like Failsafe and refers to her guardian as Captain.(She acts like Failsafe because she spent a lot of time on Nessus searching for Serenity and picked up Failsafe’s personalities)

Affiliation - The Vanguard, Fireteam Eleven, FWC, Sentinels of Dying Light

Status - Active Hunter Veteran

Voiceclaim - Idina Menzel

Sexuality - Pansexual

Noteworthy Physical Traits - Has a snake tattoo running up the length of her right arm

Background - Serenity was revived by Critical on the Tangled Shore because she was a foot soldier in the Awoken military and died along with the rest of her unit. Her ghost proceeded to revive her and then right after, nearly die on her because it only had enough light in it to find and revive her. This led to Serenity being stuck on the Shore for a couple years not really knowing she was a guardian because she had practically no light. She eventually cobbled together a ship and got a far as the Cosmodrome on Earth, where her craft crashed. Serenity was amazed to find out that she was in fact, still alive. This was the moment her ghost told her she was a guardian and connected her to the light. Got through the Cosmodrome and had to drive a sparrow all the way back to the Last City.

Participated in the building of the wall, and also guided survivors to the Last City. She met the rest of Fireteam Eleven accidentally when they were protecting a group of survivors. They continued to run into each other in things and be paired together in things like strikes, crucible, and patrols, so they just decided to stay together.

Was still stuck on the Reef during the Battle of Six Fronts, but participated in the Battle at Twilight Gap. After The Guardian was risen, she and her fireteam watched over them for a time because the vanguard ordered her team to do so. She was proud of them for killing Crota, and finding the Black Garden. Serenity and team would later be called upon by Petra to help her beat the House of Wolves. Their job was mostly going after other Fallen houses, and even though she wanted to go after Skolas, Petra informed her that another guardian took him down. When Oryx came, and after the Awoken fleet was destroyed, Petra called upon Fireteam Eleven and friends to take the fight to the Taken. She was overjoyed when Oryx was killed and the Vanguard had her set up scouting stations on the Dreadnaught. She was a good friend for Petra to lean on when Petra took up the Regent mantle. Serenity and team would also go to fight Siva and after doing so, would be a part of the new wave of Iron Lords.

When Ghaul and the Red Legion came, she nearly died because she chose to stay behind in the city and rescue Mjoll who was stranded and without light saving survivors. After weeks of being unable to find Mjoll she made the hard decision and chose to leave. That decision broke her heart and sent her into a long depression. Later, she would stumble across Mjoll and her group of survivors and they would reunite with Equinox shortly after. They would make a small refugee camp in Widows Court. After The Guardian killed Ghaul and the Light returned, they led their refugees back and went on a rampage against the Cabal.

During the Pantopses crisis, she went with Seraphina to find him because she wasn’t going to let her bestie go at it alone. She was confused as to why Seraphina seemed to know Sagira and Osiris. She heard about the final battle from Seraphina after it was over.

She only heard about the events on Mars after Equinox came to her and asked for the teams help in killing Xol. She was mad for a short time at Equinox for not telling her about Rasputin and Ana, but she got over it. She, along with Mjoll, Seraphina, Lilith, Regina, Solar Flare, Aaron, Muerto, Finnegan, Roland, and Kingsman, all joined in helping Equinox kill Xol.

Serenity was never close with Cayde, despite being a hunter. She actually never particularly cared for him, but when she saw what his death did to Petra, Ikora, Zavala, Amanda, and most guardians, something inside her snapped. She, and her 11 friends, all joined in on the barons hunt. Together, they stormed the Shore and took down the Barons with some other Guardians. When it came time to fight Uldren, Petra asked her to come with her and help her through it. She agreed and, along with Petra, killed Uldren. She actively fights the curse in the Dreaming City and is excited to fight alongside her cousin, Petra. The curse doesn’t drain her as much as it seems to do others, but she does get these bouts of depression every once in a while when she realizes that they haven’t beaten it, but as long as Petra is in, she’s in.

She participated in the reforging of the Black Armory forges with her friend Mjoll because Mjoll really likes blacksmithing. However, she was mainly interested in helping Ada-1 remember herself. She’s very reluctant to do anything with Gambit or the Drifter because she’s a devoted guardian. However, if Equinox asked her to accompany her into Gambit, she would do so in a heartbeat. She hates the Menagerie and anything that has to do with Calus because she finds him to be extremely creepy. She only goes if one of her friends asks her to tag along, otherwise, you’ll find her as far away from Calus as she can get.

Family, Friends, (and boyfriend)- 200 years before The Guardian was revived, she met another one of her best friends, the warlock Seraphina. Serenity met Seraphina after she tried to murder her because she believed Seraphina was a Fallen due to her armor. Serenity then led Seraphina to the City and they just decided to remain friends. A little after she led Seraphina back, Serenity and team would meet fireteam If I Had To Pick A Dude and its members Solar Flare-17, Muerto Rios, and Aaron Laufy(or dumbass if you ask Serenity). Further down the years, she would meet the rest of Sraphina’s fireteam, the titan Regina and the hunter Lilith, and their male friends, Roland the titan, Finnegan the warlock, and Kingsman the hunter. When the Awoken Queen also sent out her emissary, she became fast friends with Petra Venj.

Mjoll and Equinox became her fireteam when the walls were still being built. They rescued survivors together and defended the new city together. They just decided to remain a team, and eventually, that comradery led them to forging a sisterhood with one another. They consider each other family and wouldn’t have it any other way.

When Serenity first heard Petra’s voice, a brief memory came to her, and then she swore up and down that she knew Petra. She always tried bringing up the conversation with Petra, but the emissary would quickly change the subject. Petra didn’t acknowledge Serenity as her cousin because it would be going against the Vanguard if she were to do so. Not telling Serenity hurt Petra because she practically brought Serenity up. As the Wolves came, and the outpost became open to guardians, she spent a lot more time in the Reef and with Petra. Also during this time, Serenity got more and more memories of her Petra doing family things together like walks through parks, playing games like hide and go seek together, and just general family things. She also remembers the day she graduated from the army academy and Petra beaming at her from the family section. She keeps getting these memories until towards the end of the Wolf campaign, when she gets her final memory, and that is Petra moming over her about her upcoming assignment and Serenity assuring her that she would be fine. That memory ends with them hugging and Petra saying “stay safe out there cousin” and Serenity jokingly replying “I always am”. Serenity’s death hurt Petra, and what harmed her even more was there not being a body to bury, so Serenity was another one on Petra’s list of lost family. When Serenity went back to the Reef, she approached Petra with such a serious demeanor, that Petra thought she had done something wrong. She wrapped Petra in a tight hug and began to cry saying that she remembered and that she was sorry that she left her alone for so many years. Petra realizes what’s going on and returns her hug to the shorter hunter and says that it’s okay because she’s back now. Meanwhile, the corsairs around them are like “WTF? Why is this rando guardian hugging the Queen’s Wrath and crying?” After Serenity remembered, she and Petra would constantly talk, vent, and keep each other updated about their lives. Serenity tried to support Petra during her regency, but finds it to be difficult because of the lack of time.

When Serenity first really met Aaron, he was talking to Petra and trying to get her to date him. She said no. He understood, and proceeded to walk away, but stopped when he saw Serenity. He was immediately entranced by her because he had just heard her laugh at something Petra had said. Petra took notice, but said nothing to Serenity. The next time he came around, Petra began to question him about her, and he immediately told her, that yeah, he had a significant crush on her. Petra then called and involved Mjoll, Equinox, and Seraphina. With their coaching and pushing, Aaron eventually asked her out. It was a very awkward asking if you ask anyone who saw it. It was funny to their friends to see the normally calm, collected hunter and the suave, flirty hunter both dilute into blushy, happy messed.

Personality - Her name speaks volumes as to who she is. She’s a very calm and collected person who is great at keeping the peace. She doesn’t get visibly angry, but she does this silent fury kind of thing. She’s a patient person who is more than willing to guide others. If you need someone to talk to, she’s usually available and can give some good advice. If you ask her to do something, she’ll make the time to do so, and will never put anything off. She’s also sort of like a resident therapist because she’s good at helping people asses and control their feelings. Overall, she’s a serious, but caring person who just wants to help the people.  

Fun Facts -

She’s actually blood related to Petra, they’re cousins

She has an older brother and sister that don’t know she’s alive again and she’s okay with that

Has a pet wolf that she stole from the Iron Temple

Like climbing on things, weather it be trees or tall buildings

Loves to sparrow race and was pretty good at it (usually got podium finishes)

Loves to drink black tea with zero added sweeteners

Tyra is the cryptarch that she usually goes to just because she wants to know how she’s doing

Loves to do yoga

Loves to ice skate, and she would consider that an ideal hangout or date

She’s a realist

She loves taking kinderguardians under her wing because they can do some stupid things that make her laugh

Is moderate at the crucible, but would rather fight enemies instead

Her favorite planet is either Nessus or Venus

She looked up to Tallulah Fairwind and was crushed by her death

Thinks Shiro-4 should be the next hunter vanguard

Likes to draw maps and explore new locations

Her original Awoken name was Seren and Serenity is actually her nickname

[bywandandsword]

Ok so, just now for that last post the generator shot out ‘Simple Country Protagonist of Noble Birth’, and that’s essentially one of my OCs so here’s her story if your interested

The takes place in the 1880-90s. When the story starts, Simon’s been on the run for almost five years, dressed as a boy, and half the time she forgets that she’s not one. She spent six months riding up and down the river on the steamboat and got off in Missouri to find other work, hopping from job to job, always reading the papers for any news from New Orleans, and has gotten very good at pretending to be just another young man looking for work. She spent a few months riding the rails, with the vague notion of California or Canada or where ever, just always on the move. Margaritte’s family down south has gotten very powerful, and even more so when she married again, this time to an oil baron turned senator. Simon doesn’t know if Marg is still hunting for her, but isn’t about to risk being found. At the start of the story, she finds herself in Kansas, following a river she was told would lead her to a road, which she could follow to a railway, but either she’s lost or it’s way father than she anticipated, she’s almost out of food, and it’s late September, so it’s getting cooler than is comfortable for someone without a jacket at night. That’s when she sees a farm, miles away from anything, and all the residents are having their lunch outside, enjoying the some of the last few pleasant sunny days of the year. Well, this is too easy, Simon thinks, she’ll just take a bit of bread, a bit of meat and cheese, maybe a better knife, and be on her way with none the wiser, just like she’d done a dozen times in the last few years, she’s long gotten over any moral debate about stealing. Only this time after she grabs what she wants, an incident involving an insistent horse leads to her being discovered. The oldest son Michael (who has two younger twin sibs), wants to take her into town right then and hand this thieving boy over to the law. The father, an older man named Mr. Elias Blez, sees how travel worn and ragged the youth is, how he didn’t take anything but food, and knows that winter is almost upon them, and thinking they’ve been needing a bit of help around the farm anyway, makes Simon a deal. If Simon agrees to work for them as a farm hand until May, they’ll let him leave with as much food and supplies as they can spare and won’t turn him into the law. Mr. Belz also makes it clear that if Simon does try to run, he wouldn’t make it out of the county. It’s black mail, but Mr. Belz think’s its ultimately going to prevent Simon dying of exposure or worse somewhere. Simon, who doesn’t feel like she has much of a choice, agrees. Almost immediately, Mrs. Johanna Belz figures out that Simon isn’t a man, but Simon is like, “We already have an agreement, I won’t be treated any different because of this realization” (cause guess who doesn’t ID as a woman anymore but who doesn’t have the vocabulary to say she’s genderqueer!) and the family hesitantly agrees to let this weird half-feral runaway be. So, she helps them do the last of the harvest and the culling and the rest of the winter preparations. Michael expects Simon to rob them blind and run away any moment now. Simon is secretly glad to have a place to stay for the winter and actually grows to care a great deal for this family, though she still puts up the distanced grumpy front she started with. They go into town sometimes and Simon always presents as male. As winter goes on, Simon gets the first taste in a long time of what it’s like to be in a family again and all the feelings she’s suppressed start bubbling up. Once, after a long day, a family friend and his kids brings over some food, booze, and instruments and the two groups have an impromptu party. Simon gets shnockered and when she gets pressured and dared to sing something, she grabs the fiddle and preforms an old diddy her father used to play in French, then a piece by Bach, then a waltz. And once she’s felt the shape of French in her mouth, her first language, she doesn’t release it easily, the more she drinks the more French she speaks and the more the Belzs wonder how the hell a ragged vagabond they found stealing from them acquired training in classical violin and learned French. 

-

Flashback: Her full name is Marie Simone Madeline Lereau de Saint-Maxent, but everyone just called her Maggie. She got this absurdly long name cause she happens to be the eldest child of the wealthy merchant Saint-Maxent family, living in New Orleans. Her father is gone a lot for business and she’s an only child but she has her mother and tutors for company and spends most of her childhood receiving a strict, classical education, even spending a few summers at a boarding school in Paris. When she’s 14, her mother gives birth to her younger brother, Jean René, but she dies shortly after. Obviously everyone is devastated, but Father decides his children need a mother and, as was commonly done at the time, he marries a recently widowed woman with three children of her own, Margaritte. It starts out pleasant as it could be, but as Maggie ages, and Father refuses to change his will to prefer Margaritte’s children over Maggie and Jean, Marg gets manipulative and controlling of Maggie, though never towards baby Jean. The years roll on in this tense way until, when Maggie is 17, Father, Maggie, and two of Marg’s children catch the Fever. Father dies, but Maggie and the other youths recover. Marg uses this as an opportunity to force Maggie to sign paperwork denouncing her claim to the inheritance, and produces a forged will to back it up. She’s paid off the police and the lawyers to make it stick and threatens that if Maggie turned up dead, no one would know that she didn’t die from fever too. Maggie refuses and that night, men sent by Marg break into her room and try to drag her out, but she manages to get free of them, grab one of their guns, and kills one of the assailants. The others flee. She grabs as much clothes, money, and just, stuff that she can fit into a bag and runs. She catches a train that night to Baton Rouge. She’s still got the gun and the whole train ride, she’s processing wtf just happened and cleaning the blood off her hands and worrying about her brother and wondering if it was really fever that killed her father or poison, but by the time she gets to Baton Rouge, she’s together enough to think. She uses her mother’s maiden name, gets in contact with a friend, the son of a family servant, and rents a room in a low-key b&b and waits for the newspapers. Sure enough, they report that all members of the Saint-Maxent family had died, except the youngest, and that Marg find herself a fortunate and exceedinglyy wealthy new heiress. Her contact reports that Marg’s men are still looking for Maggie and offers to help her disappear. They sell what valuables Maggie brought with her, except the gun, she cuts her hair, starts going by Simon. She buys some of men’s clothes clothes, using enough money to bribe her way onto temporary employment on a steam boat headed north. 

-

Simon doesn’t say anything more about it until almost February. By this point, she’s grown to love and trust the Belzes and their community and vice versa, Michael has grown to trust her too (especially after Plot and Hijinks), and when he stopped being a dick to her, she befriended him and has feelings for him but like hell is she going to admit it to herself much less anyone else. She’s starting to think this might be someplace she can stay, actually build a life, a home. Then Marg’s name shows up in the paper. I haven’t figured it out but for business reasons Marg has bought a house in the closest big city, maybe Kansas City or Dodge City? and is using it as a base of operations for a branch of her business. But that means she and many of her people are less than a stones throw away, practically breathing down he neck, and Simon just fucking has a panic attack. What if her step mother comes to their town? Are they still looking for her? What if someone identifies her? What if one of her men recognizes her? And what’s happened to her brother, who’d be about ten? Well, Mrs. Belz finds Simon clutching the newspaper, hyperventilating, and after that, the truth comes pouring out. Everyone is shocked. I haven’t actually thought much past this scene, where Simon tells her story to the very shocked Belzes, but Stuff will happen. The Belzes talk her out of just bolting for Canada, Simon will eventually encounter Marg again face to face after she rogues into the house for some reason. Marg has a delicate little pistol, but Simon still has that old blood stained revolver. Way after this, Michael will fistfight one of the goons, and the story will eventually be brought to light, but I have no idea how that will all play out or the consequences. 

[newagesispage]

                                                          FEBRUARY           2019

 PAGE  RIB

***** I am over the moon at the suggestion of a biopic of Dave Letterman starring Michael Shannon. Will somebody think about really putting this into production??? Please??

***** Criminal Minds will wrap it up after this next and 15th season. The season 14 finale on Feb.6 will have Rossi’s wedding. They will spend the last season chasing after ‘a worthy adversary’ rumored to be played by Harold Perrineau as they jump ahead in time.

***** I am so touched by shows like Grace and Frankie and Schitt’s Creek that look right past the usually discussed issues for interracial and same sex couples .  Gee, just think, it’s like we are all the same.

***** If you haven’t seen Michael Bennet and his senate floor speech about Ted Cruz, government shutdowns and Trump, run to C-span and catch it. These things make me proud to be in a DEMOCRACY!

***** Can this be true?? The constitution of Texas states that one can’t hold public office unless they believe in a supreme being??

***** Julian Castro is running for President.

***** Kamala Harris is running for President.

***** Cory Booker is running for President.

***** HGTV is apparently working on a huge publicity stunt and ratings grabber. They have purchased the home whose exterior was used in the Brady Bunch. A show will reunite the cast, bring in some famous fane and remodel the inside to look like the Brady set. At the end they may give the house away.

***** Michael Shannon and Audra McDonald will team up to revive Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune on Broadway.

***** Rashida Jones and Bill Murray will star in Sofia Coppola’s’ On the Rocks.’

***** Why isn’t extreme ironing a bigger sport by now??** And can we make Petanque a bigger thing while we’re at it?

***** Craig Ferguson is selling his LA compound.

***** China has landed on the far side of the moon!!!

***** NASA’s New Horizons has went further than anyone has gone before for our first image of Ultima Thule.

***** Kentucky has introduced a bill to ban abortion in the state.

***** Told to a reporter: “It’s your job to speak truthfully and precisely, not mine.” –Kellyanne Conway** The new book, Team of Vipers, suggests that The Conways are working in concert.  It is thought that she is valuable to Trump because she has no qualms about saying anything.

***** Super bowl LIII will host Maroon 5, Travis Scott and Big Boi. They will have no pre- concert interview. It is said that many artists turned down the gig because of the controversy. Maroon 5 has gotten some shit for performing but they caution us to just watch.** Roger Waters has asked Maroon 5 to take a knee during the show.

***** Natasha Lyonne is getting raves for her new show, Russian Doll.

***** Tom Sizemore was arrested for drug possession.

***** 6 NFL coaches were fired in one week!!!

***** Pentagon chief of staff, rear admiral Kevin Sweeney is out.

***** Rod Rosenstein is on the way out.

***** Jaymo’s, a Peoria company is suing Wendy’s over the use of their S’Awesome sauce.

***** We should enact the stop the stupidity act.

***** Why does it seem every other show on the air is sort of an entire season of a Twilight Zone episode?

***** There are more people in the Kremlin than in Washington who know what Trump said to Putin. – Tom Nichols

***** Members of congress can retire at full pay after 1 term. Children of congress members don’t have to pay back student loans. Is that true?? Can this be right??

***** Dupont is laying off workers.

***** Check out love your brain.com.

***** The Golden Globes were held and were hosted by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh.  My best dressed was Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Moss. Danai Gurira, Julia Roberts, Carol Burnett, Emily Blunt, Lupita Nyong’o, Patricia Clarkson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jameela Jamil, Rosamund Pike, Jim Carrey, Alison Brie, Gemma Chan and Bradley Cooper. Worst dressed goes to Rachel Weisz, Julianne Moore, Layra Dern, Anne Hathaway, Maya Rudolph, Rami Mlek, Molly Sims and Heidi Klum. I was so happy for winners like The Americans (highlight of the evening!!!), Regina King, Lady Gaga, Mahershala Ali, Patricia Clarkson, Darren Criss, Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami Malek, Olivia Colman and Green Book.  The Cecil B. DeMille award went to Jeff Bridges. The new Carol Burnett award started off with Carol herself. I was saddened that Bill Hader, Henry Winkler, Kieran Culkin, Keri Russell and Sacha Baron Cohen went home empty handed. The Fiji water girl got most of the press and gave much free advertising to her product.  Some of the stars did not like her getting in their shots to push a product without their knowledge, both a clever and sad state of affairs.

***** The Kominsky Method will be back for season 2.

***** The Sag awards had their big night and gave the lifetime achievement to Alan Alda. Winners included Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Black Panther, Rami Malek and Glenn Close. I was especially thrilled with some love goingto Jason Bateman and Patricia Arquette. Best dressed were Amy Adams, Yara Shahidi, Brian Tyree Henry, Sydelle Noel, Eddie Griffin, Holly Taylor, Sofia Hubitz, Emma Stone, Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Laverne Cox, Timothee Chalamet, Robin Wright, Lily Tomlin, Chadwick Boseman, Matthew Rhys, Keri Russell, and Catherine Zeta Jones. The WTF award goes to Alison Brie.

***** The Oscar race is on. Best picture could go to Blank Panther, Blackkklansman, Roma, The Favourite, Green Book, Vice, Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star is born. Black Panther also got some love for music and costume design.  Fingers crossed for Isle of Dogs in the animated category. Actor nods had a few surprises. Willem Dafoe and Rami Malek , Lady Gaga and Melissa McCarthy are up for leads and supporting mentions are for Mahershala Ali, Regina King, Adam Driver and Sam Elliott. I am so hopeful for Spike Lee and I want to hear that speech.

***** If you haven’t seen Trigger Warning with Killer Mike, you gotta check it out. He and Sarah Silverman should go on a tour of teaching acceptance for their fellow man.

***** So.. Fox news said that Ruth Bader Ginsberg was dead??

***** In sexual harassment news: Harvey Weinstein is hiring new lawyers.** Les Moonves is seeking arbitration with CBS.

***** Cher has sold her Beverly Hills cottage.

***** Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber’s daughter, Presley was arrested for DUI.

***** CBS news has named its first female President, Susan Zirinsky.

***** What is happening to the butterflies?

***** Illinois has refused a concert permit to R Kelly and Sony has dropped him. The pressure is finally starting to pay off??

***** Get ready for biopics about Harriet Tubman, Elton John and Ted Bundy.

*****  NY mayor Bill De Blasio has given healthcare to every resident of NY city.

***** 25% of Russians do not have indoor toilets. Putin and his buddies have about $1trillion tucked away from London to Miami.

***** Days alert: I wonder if Leo’s real name ‘Matthew Cooper’ is a nod to out actor Chad Allen from Dr. Quinn??!! It is also fun to see Judith Chapman take on the role of Leo’s Mama, Diana. The pair played Mother and son previously on The Young and the Restless. Is she really Diana Colville from John’s past??** So Stefan has been played by Tyler Christopher who asked for some time off and a sub was put in place who will take over in March. Since Christopher left, he has since decided that he will leave permanently so things are up in the air. Will Stefan and Gabi hook up? Days has been renewed for season 55. HOORAY!!!! Ratings are up 4%. **Loved the line when Chloe told Rex he should wear a cup. **Leo and Xander’s playful “lust” was so sassy!!

***** Happy Valentine’s Day!

***** Steve Buscemi will play God on tv’s Miracle Workers.

***** So, the new Conan format has ups and downs. I miss the band and the desk but I am Loving the fade in and fade out at commercials. I have always hated the, “We’ll be right back “ nonsense. I was sad to lose a half hour at first but Conan and Andy do seem refreshed.

***** Still waiting for the release of Apple Seed which is written, directed and starring Michael Worth. It is one of the final films of Rance Howard who stars with his son, Clint, Adrienne Barbeau and the other Father and son team of Robby and Zephyr Benson.

***** The January Bob Segar concert in Illinois at the Peoria Civic Center is the top selling concert ever at this venue. Old rock acts take note.

***** Bob Costas is out at NBC after 40 years.

***** Trial and Error has been cancelled. BOO!!!

***** Steve Carell will star in Space Force which he is co-creating with The Office showrunner Greg Daniels.

***** Despite some people I admire that are giving Alexandria Ocasio Cortez a talking to like she’s a child, I say ‘Give ‘em Hell!’  She could well be President so fight girl!!

***** Word is that Karen Pence is now teaching at the Immanuel School in Virginia. The school refuses admission to students who participate in or condone homosexual activity. The application for the school states that misconduct includes heterosexual activity outside of marriage, homosexual activity, polygamy, transgender identity and use of pornographic websites. The application goes on to state that ‘a wife must submit to her husband’ and a pledge must be signed to that effect.

***** There is controversy over the bill to give people a day off for Election Day. Many people will still have to work, the country never completely shuts down. How many fucking times do I have to say it: VOTE BY MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!

***** So, Scary clown told us Mexico would pay for ‘the wall’. During the campaign he gave actual ideas for that like Mexico giving us a one time payout or else he would not allow Mexican immigrants to western union money back to Mexico. Another idea was that there would be a great ta on that Western union money. It does not seem like they tried any of that and just decided we would pay for the stupid ‘wall.’ How about the money he makes off Trump merch which his website and hotels still sell to pay for it?? How about the $35 million that Trump sold in real estate in 2018? The ‘Wall’ go fund me did not reach its $1billion goal so the $20 million they did collect is being offered for refunds. Some of those people still want that money to go for its purpose so Trump is creating a non- profit. Can’t we use that money to help the border patrol agents and get the backlog in immigration court moving?? That we are still talking about this ridiculous wall and that it had a go fund me page is enough to boggle the normal brain.** I think Kimmel said it best when he suggested that Trump just tell the red hats that the wall has been built.  They believe everything he says so why wouldn’t they believe that??  It would save the country a lot of headaches. ** What the Hell is with his new “wheels and walls” mantra??** Russia caused Brexit too? Putin is a menace.** Another sink hole appeared the White House. WTF?

***** The congressional budget office says the shut down cost the U.S. 11 billion

***** Trump is talking to Herman Cain about a job on the Federal Reserve Board.

***** The GOP is selling fake bricks that cost about 50 cents for $20 each to send to Senate Dems. Some have said that the Dems should sign them and sell them and give the money to government workers. ** Why are Russian jets fucking around on the North American coastline??

***** Roger Stone has been indicted on 5 counts of false statements, 1 count of obstruction and 1 count of witness tampering. The FBI officers who arrested him were part of the shut down and they still did their job!!  He publically and privately claimed to have communicated with Russia. Predictions are that many more indictments are coming down the pike that involve many familiar faces.** Roger Stone has a Nixon tattoo on his back. I feel sorry for his cell mate.-Bill Maher

***** Bill Maher got some flak for comments after Stan Lee died. He wasn’t slamming Lee, but wondered about comic book fans putting away childish things. I suppose that could include weed but point taken.

***** Jared Kushner along with 30 other White House staff was denied top secret clearance but Trump advisor Carl Kline overruled that decision and gave it to them anyway. This has never been done before, this is a job for intelligent agencies.

***** Empire star Jussie Smollett was attacked in Chicago in what cops are saying was a possible hate crime. The attackers were yelling that this was MAGA country, poured bleach on him and put a rope around his neck.  The actor was previously sent a letter full of homophobic and racist slurs which he FBI had been looking into.

***** Ellen page gave us some memorable, powerful words to chew on with her appearance on Stephen Colbert. I am sure she gave courage to many who suffer because of our hate filled administration.

***** Gwyneth Paltrow is being sued from a 2016 ski incident for 3 mil.

***** I gain more and more respect for Seth Meyers. I did not really understand the choice of him as host in the beginning. His notice of local stations, choice of guests and revolving drummers makes for a great show.

***** A Dutch company may have invented a small device that converts heat into cold and Forbes is saying, ‘it could save the planet.’

***** So looking forward to Ryan Murphy’s The Politician which will star Jessica Lange, Gwyneth Paltrow and January Jones.

***** I know that is has happened little by little and we go thru times in our history when things get worse and then things get better but… When did this country get so fucking corrupt?? I mean seriously.. Why is Brendan Dassey still in prison and why is there no real justice for Teresa Halbach? ** Why is Trump still in the White House?**Why are government workers being told to work for nothing?? Why is R Kelly still living it up?? Why are some states going backward in time when it comes to women’s health?? Why do many corporations care more about their own pockets than the children of their employees or the environment around them??** Why does our justice system so often punish big for small infractions and allow the powerful to do anything they want?? **Why is a wall a better idea than infrastructure or warm beds for the homeless or food for our children and why are so many children in cages??

***** How can it be that we are still in a world where people are not allowed to reach their full potential?? Why do so many selfish humans actually fight to live in a world where they actively hold others back? Shouldn’t we all be concerned about the greater good?  We should all be allowed to see a Doctor when we are ill. We should all be able to excel in education if we choose .We should all be able to get a job to fit our skills and work ethic.  Opportunities and the pursuit of happiness should be available to all. Why is this so fucking hard for so many to grasp in this world? Imagine!

***** Sundance premiered the new flick, Big time adolescence with Griffin Gluck and Pete Davidson. Pete has since made no bones about filming in Syracuse. He hated it.

***** Jeff Flake will join CBS news as a contributor.

***** Tom Brokaw is in a bit of trouble for saying Hispanics should work harder at assimilation.

***** The Tom Hanks/ Matthew Rhys film, A beautiful day in the neighborhood has pushed back its release date to Nov. 22.

***** People are illogical and self- centered. Love them anyway. -Hedy Lemarr

*****R.I.P. Bob Einstein, Millie Wiesehan, victims of the Torrance. Ca. bowling alley shooting, Captain Darryl Dragon, Jo Andres, Lamin Sanneh, Carol Channing, Sandra Harmon, Bradley Bolke, the victims of Mediterranean shipwreck, Lorna Doom, victims of the Florida bank shooting, Kaye Ballard, Willie York , Barbara Claman , victims of the mining dam collapse in Brazil and James Frawley.

[anyhao-archived]

okay im finally getting around to posting this, tbh i had to take a few days to (rest) before i thought more about this lol. also sorry it’s so long, ill put it under a read more. ANYWAYS my vav experience, as follows:

so for the fan sign there was a Lot going on so i forgot most of it but.. barons teeth sparkled when he smiled lmao anyways st van was first and I told him he was my moms favorite and he went rly?? in a really cute voice and he just seemed so surprised, it was endearing

and then jacob... i don’t mess with him anymore. jk lol he was so freaking attractive but like in a Hot way? his smile was so nice that im pretty sure i garbled my words but i tried to tell him i really like love night.. and I was going to ayno and like idk if i was joking to myself or what but just loud enough i actually said, oh that’s lots of bling! and both ayno and jacob heard me, ayno laughed genuinely and jacob was like omg i can’t believe this idiot.. i don’t think i said anything to ayno, he seemed really uncomfortable so i didn’t want to bother him anymore. but his laugh was genuine i could tell, and for a split second i don’t think he was wearing his Idol Mask(TM) when he smiled. but that’s probably just wishful thinking lol

ACE I CANT BELIEVE HIM he looked so fucking good oh my god i got to him and i called him a Casanova and he went ayyyy with a thumbs up and finger guns and i wanted to die lmfao

when i got to baron he said my name but kinda pronounced it wrong but i corrected him, and he said it again. and then i told him my name rhymes with his and he said mine like four times in different ways trying it out and rhyming it with his stage name😭 HE DIDNT have to say my name that many times, god. his English was so fucking good holy shit and his pronounciation??? Amazing and he’s so handsome up close, like literal Disney prince handsome

ziu talks sooo much!!! I love it and he’s so good looking and kind and he shook my hand and ??? he said to enjoy the show and i told him to enjoy doing the show and he did like a shy smile kind of thing !! you could tell he was trying hard with the English i was rly proud of him

lou had a flower crown on and i complimented on it and he said my name so well and there was more with him but i forgot 😢

but that was just the fan sign lol so much other stuff happened... later during the show i nearly died bc of ayno.. they were picking people to go up on stage, right? and there was a girl in front of me also with her hand raised, like freaking out (maybe a bit too much?) and i was like okay she probably wants it so i kinda like.. stopped raising my hand and gestures to her? If that makes sense... he almost picked her but when he saw me be nice and let her have it, he literally stares at me and picks me, dead on...but someone random that he wasn’t pointing at like ROWS back walked on stage before we could realize it was me but that fucking eye contact i had with him made him SHOOT up my bias list lol now I have to rethink my entire order. im like 75% sure that he picked me because i wasn’t a crazy fan, like the girl in front of me was a bit much.. and obviously if i was willing to give it up im not that insane... ladies, it pays off to be a nice person!

AND JACOB WITH THE BABY please end me i fell for him so much like he’s almost overtaking baron that’s how much i liked him last night and how nice is vav that they tried to pick new people?? like they picked the fan boy, the little baby, the elderly lady.. and they even helped her to and from the stage 💗😍 AND SPEAKING of gentlemanly stuff there was a guy with a wheelchair during the snapshots in line for jacob and when they were done he personally pushed the guy in the wheelchair all the way to where the man needed to go. he breaks my heart and heals it simultaneously, he’s so underrated but still a genuinely and QUIET nice person.. he doesn’t do good stuff to be noticed. like when winter breeze was over, they had the rappers sing it too... but not jacob. i was so upset and he also didn’t do his solo song that i specifically told him i liked, but ayno did two of his. im not bitter at all what do u mean ??? 🤷‍♀️

i feel like more happened at the concert but i can’t think of much more, im sure other fan accounts will have it all. the only thing i can think about is the snapshots anyways lol

the group picture was ... interesting. the hi touch wasnt much except it reinforced my idea that ayno recognized me, bc instead of a high five he held my hand for as long as possible, probably an apology for earlier. i nearly died. the pic ended up looking awful but thats okay lol. then we tried to leave but i ended up going the wrong way, and a staff handed me roughly like actually grabbing my shoulders and pushing me in the right direction (which i did not appreciate, please chill, u just didnt tell us the right way to go...) and a few members saw that and didnt like either. ayno looked irritated but im sure  hes just irritated at everything at that point lol, lou and ace looked at me sympathetically, and i gave ace the happy bday present someone asked me to give to him. he was so surprised it was adorable.

OKAY, NOW FOR THE SNAPSHOTS: so i actually had 7 snapshots but ended up getting 2 with jacob and 2 with ayno instead of one with everyone (which.. if u look above is not a surprise lmfao) so the first snapshot i do is with baron, obviously.. and this ASSHOLE wants to kill me like... for everyone i tried to pick poses that werent too touchy bc a) im not comfortable w that and b) im sure they were all tired of being touched lol so i picked the one where you make fingerhearts while standing next to each other, but NOOOOO

baron decides he doesnt like that pose enough so he literally puts his hands on my shoulders, guides me to a position thats not only in FRONT of him but CLOSER TO HIM than i was originally!!! what the fuck!! thats not all after that he had to lean around me and basically like... he was so fucking close to me oh my god. he smelled so good i need to know where he gets his cologne. also lol when he moved me in front of him i was like... omg are u sure??? im kinda tall.. and he just laughs and smiles and leans into/around me. that picture of me looks so stupid bc i was so.. happy and Not Ready lmao

anyways i go to jacob next and do the e-t touch pose lol since like i said... didnt want touchy ones and he seemed amused that i picked that one. i wonder if it was one of the least popular ones? probably.. and GOD hes rly such a gentleman hottie like i rarely say h*t but.... jacob was hot. since we did the e.t touch pose we had to touch fingertips and (eyes emoji) not to have a hand kink or anything but hes got. really nice hands. long fingers. also lmfao he had long ass fingernails and i kinda joked with him like “youve got longer fingernails than i do!!” and he laughed and smiled at me. and okay i turn to leave like gotta have the next person go but APPARENTLY he wasnt ready for the next person yet...  i literally had to have the staff be like wait! jacob is saying bye to you!!! and i was like WHAT and turned around and ran back to him basically to say bye he was grinning the entire time and he waved his hand and held it up for (i thought) a high five but he grabbed it and i swear i fell for him right there. JACOB WHEN WILL U BE MINE godfjkdgd and i watched him for a little bit but he didnt say bye that enthusiatically to anyone else (that i saw, at least)

then i did the prom pose with st. van, it was adorable. you could tell he was rly trying to interact with everyone and idk what it is about him but i felt comfortable enough to actually do a Touchy pose (the holding arm pose, like prom yknow). we love an amazing leader~

oH i did one with ziu too!! i did the byung byung pose with the hands together and we both looked ridiculous lol. i dont remember much about him except he was so tall wtf taller than i expected.

at this time i keep looking at my pics and THE E.T PIC WITH JACOB??? makes me crack the hell up.... it had to have been fate, obviously. in the pic (from the camera flash, i guess) where our fingers were touching, it just SO HAPPENED THAT THERE WAS A FLASH OF LIGHT......... iconic. jacob n i are meant to be. so i get in line for him again bc i want to show him the pic, but by the time i got up there again i had forgotten. i was also like... ready for a touchy pose with him bc why not. i cant remember what pose i did with him or if anything happened, im sure i was in a trance then lmao. pretty sure he recognized me but i cant be sure. 

then i get in line for ayno and i have two snapshot tickets left, and the staff announces theres only a few mins left so i was like SHIT and figured id just do two with ayno bc i didnt wanna waste any. his line was so long and staff had to keep reminding ppl not to hug/touch him and i felt soooo bad. i picked poses that werent too close to him, and even those in the pic he looked like he was trying to not be close to me lol. i feel so bad for him, im sure he got a lot of weird fans that night. i think he recognized me (again) because he smiled genuinely like he was happy i was there. i think he appreciated that i picked poses that didnt require touching -- he probably had a Lott of that. when the second pic was being printed the staff member laughed at something someone said, but i thought she was laughing at my picture bc i take shit pics and i got offended for a second and so did ayno LMAO but then she explained and i said bye to him and he went back into Idol Mask(TM) and i think that was it. 

i also ate at ihop that night, it was great, we didnt get back to our hotel till after 2am, it felt so... young adult-ish to be out so late lmao. i was very proud at how everything turned out, i dont think i wouldve changed a thing

anyway, long story short: im in love with jacob, baron is a disney prince, ayno shot up my bias list (he was like... last lmao) and i appreciate him as a person. those three were the Big Three, but i still loved meeting the other members. 10/10 would recommend vav