#xenolith1245

[fananigans]

I’ve been trying recently to find just what I want to say about the SP Creek Server and my experience there, and as an opening thought I keep coming back to Bilbo Baggins’ infamous speech: ‘I don’t know half of you as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.’ That’s not quite the right sentiment, but the thing is, I think nearly everyone I encountered there would laugh and know what I meant by that. Because of course what I mean is, I liked all of you very much. I joined at a challenging time and never intended to get very deeply involved in fandom, knowing the overall discourse of these times. But I was infatuated with these characters, and impressed with the talent and creativity of all your projects, and happy to have an opportunity to share that. I stayed because what I saw there was a group of people having fun and supporting each other, in both fandom and in life. There was a free flowing sharing of ideas with a surprising lack of competitive spirit, and constant encouragement. Xenolith1245, I came to know you best for your unrelenting enthusiasm for everyone else’s ideas, interests, and projects. You were always the first person to jump in and say, ‘You can do it. I believe in you.’ The loss of content creators from fandom makes it a smaller, less free place for all of us. But I know you are on to great things. We all believe in you. You are capable of more than you think.

[stanspoofball]

I just want to say that cosmicpanda is an amazing person. She doesn't deserve to be dragged into this.

you don't think remaining in an environment as overtly toxic as that server is questionable? or do you believe cosmicpanda only remains a member out of a desire not to herself be harassed? do you think any of the OPs deserved any of their treatment, anon? out of pure snow white curiosity ofc. the more I hear about this place the more i feel like my very immortal soul requires a good ol' fashioned cleansing by my geriatric local priest and a veritable dumpster load of bleach.

[ladyfeldspar]

Xenolith1245, if you are the person cyberbullying me, please stop.

TW: death threats, suicide bait, general unpleasantness

(Link to supporting evidence - I'm putting this at the top so it doesn't get lost.)

First off, I want to apologize and make it very clear that this is a post I do not want to make, have never wanted to make, and will never want to make again. I am not a dramatic person by nature, and while this goes against everything I am, I do not feel like I have any choices left. Xenolith1245 (aka Xeno, aka the owner of the spcreekserver Discord) has blocked me on every channel available and given the escalation of the things that have happened, I can’t just sit back and be quiet anymore.

Second, and very important, I need to stress that everything I say is accompanied by the caveat that these allegations are just that, alleged. As implied in the post title, I do not know for certain that Xeno is behind the things that I am experiencing, but I feel that there is enough circumstantial evidence in my possession that the possibility is a reasonable one. But I want to be very clear: I am not out to ruin someone’s life, nor am I trying to chase anyone out of the South Park fandom. I do not care who is in the South Park fandom. I’ve been here since 2008 when it was much smaller, and I will always support it and the people in it as much as I can. All I want is for the bullying, the hate comments, and the death threats to stop.

AGAIN, VERY SIMPLY:

What this post IS: a callout, or more accurately a plea, for whoever has been sending me death threats to knock it off. There are reasons to believe it is Xeno, which I will go over plus provide the circumstantial evidence that I have.

What this post IS NOT: an unwarranted, aggressive, unsubstantiated attack on Xeno with the intent of getting her to leave the fandom.

I’m going to start with the death threats/suicide bait comments for obvious reasons. As of today, March 29th, 2022, I have received multiple anonymous asks through Tumblr, as well as multiple comments on my fics on AO3 Wrong Number, You’re My Number One, Well, In That Case…, First Time For Everything and Right Intentions of varying degrees of harassment. The most recent Tumblr ask was a broken up Youtube link that linked to the Police song “Every Breath You Take” which in light of EVERYTHING ELSE is very scary and concerning.

Some of these asks/comments have been removed by the platform, but I have screenshots of them that I took, just in case events escalated and I needed them, due to the nature of them. I myself did not respond to or remove any comments from any of my fics because I did not want to engage with whoever was doing them either way and I was just trying to move on and pretend they didn’t even exist. I can’t do that anymore.

The most recent ones are the ones that are most concerning to me, but rest assured I do not think ANY of them are okay to say to another person. These are some of the more recent ones.

Recently, because of all of the comments I received prior to the above screenshots, I installed a statcounter on my Tumblr blog. Because of this statcounter, I can see that the dates and times of when someone visited my blog, and the ask box specifically, match the timestamps on the threatening asks. As well, the location tracked by the statcounter is the same area that I know Xeno to live in, and multiple instances, from both my blog’s statcounter and others who also had it installed on theirs, have tracked the same IP address at said location. I will not disclose all of this information, and I DO NOT CONDONE DOXXING OF ANYONE REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DONE but you can see the similarities in the screenshots below.

I do not have the same IP proof for my fics on AO3. But I do have many screenshots of the anonymous comments, plus some screenshots of Xeno talking in her Discord server, and the language/emojis used in both places is extremely similar and hard to overlook. Words like “gunna” and “what so ever”, which are pretty unique xeno-specific spelling idiosyncrasies, as well as using “lol” in a very passive aggressive manner. The emoji combination of 🤔😆 which are, from my understanding, signature Xeno emojis, especially when used together. The way the sentences are structured and the overall tone of the messages themselves also are very similar to her manner of speaking/typing.

The timing of all of these comments is also very suspicious. I received my first one on July 24th, the same day that Xeno had been harassing me in the server about forgetting to respond to her comment on my fic. This is something Xeno has been known to do to others, and it’s been brushed off as “heckling”, but there were too many instances where what she called “heckling” had very strong undertones of aggression.

After July 24th, the comments stopped until after I left the Creek server on September 6th. I left because of a lot of reasons, the biggest one being my own mental health. I was going through a lot in my personal life, and as Xeno and I were friends (I thought) at the time, I let her know that I was not happy, I was often so stressed out by everything that I was crying every night, and that to try to combat that, I was going to be taking a break from social media, but that I was still going to be writing, because writing was the one thing still making me happy. She assured me that was not a big deal and to take care of myself. I then muted Discord.

Ten days or so later, when I unmuted the app, I found that I had been demoted from mod in the server (a title I did not ask for and in truth did not want, with all my other stress), there were new rules in place (one regarding a purge that I did not like the execution of as it seemed unfair), and that immediately upon going back into the server all my stress came rushing back like it had never left. I determined that the server was what was stressing me out, because of the environment it had become, and I left without a word. It was what I felt I needed to do for my mental health at the time, and I did not think I was in a place where I was up to having a conversation explaining my actions. I at this point had been in a group DM with Xeno and some others, but I was kicked from that upon leaving the server, which was disappointing because I hadn’t assumed my not being in the server included losing a group of friends, but that is apparently how Xeno felt.

I’m including the below screenshot because I think the flip from telling me it’s okay to take a break to treating me like the exact opposite is true is a piece of relevant insight.

For the record, not once after leaving has Xeno reached out to me to find out why. Not that she had to, or should have, I don’t mean to imply that. I just want it to be known that once I left her server, it was as if I ceased to exist entirely, even though I know that she has claimed otherwise to others and in fact continues to talk vaguely about me in a negative light.

I had some other friends who felt similarly, and also left, but I did not at any point TELL anyone else to leave. We are all adults who can make our own adult decisions, and I do not have the power to tell anyone what to do nor do I want it. These friends and I decided to create another, smaller server, so that we could still have a place to hang out and talk and enjoy SP content together. I have heard that it’s been rumored we left and formed a hate server specifically to bash on the Creek server, but that is not and has never been the case.

The hate comments on Wrong Number became more and more constant, appearing on nearly every chapter from 12 to chapter 21. I’ve posted some already but you can see another screenshot below as well as a Tumblr ask with a similar message.

At one point, it came to my knowledge through a credible source that someone had specifically asked Xeno if she was the commenter, and she had said no. I don’t know all of the specifics, but I know that after that happened, the comments stopped for at least a week. I thought that it was over, but it turned out not to be the case, as soon, sure enough, they began to pop up again. They started appearing on other fics of mine, and in one case, a fic I didn’t even write, but that had only mentioned me in the Author’s Note. Again, I’ve shared most of these screenshots at some point above.

Around this time, Xeno, after not speaking to me for months, showed up in my comment replies on chapter 18 of Wrong Number. Her reply was to ambercreek95’s reply to an anon comment, and was all about how she had heard that someone was accusing her of doing this and that it wasn’t her. And I understand someone feeling the need to defend themselves, given the situation, but I always found it weird and a little bit shady that I had been getting these comments for months, and the only time Xeno felt the need to jump in was to defend herself, publicly. It’s the public aspect that concerned me. I was literally getting told to kill myself, and someone who had used to be my friend seemed far more concerned with shouting to the rooftops that, “I DIDN’T DO THIS!!” than anything else. I’m not saying I should have been her first priority, or any priority, it just always struck me as odd. She and a few others from the Creek server then left very insincere and borderline condescending-sounding comments on the next chapter, which also was odd to me, because again, these people hadn’t talked to me in months and didn’t talk to me again after, for the most part, so coming out of nowhere, talking to me like we were friends, only to completely disappear again right after was very strange.

I finished Wrong Number at the end of January, and then earlier this month I began the sequel. I was really excited for the sequel itself because I love writing and the universe I created and because I hadn’t had hate comments or Tumblr asks for a significant period of time, so I thought that it would be safe to start posting again. As I’ve already stated above, that clearly did not happen.

And so we come to this point. The point where I am tired. I just wanted to write. I want to write Craig being a moron without getting told that my writing sucks and I suck and to go die. I want to stop feeling like I did a terrible thing by taking myself out of a space that wasn't making me happy. I want to stop worrying that me just trying to defend myself against literal death threats is going to get people I care about in trouble.

It's Discord, it's South Park, it’s a hobby, it’s for fun. It's not worth any of this.

And whether I know that every message I've gotten has been untrue and likely all talk or not, that doesn't really matter when getting that kind of stuff has been such a constant worry that I just don't know if I should even bother writing anymore. Or if I should even be here, if maybe those suicide bait comments are right in some way and that I did an awful thing and should be punished for it. And that’s a scary thought, but these are the thoughts that eventually come into my head when this has been happening for so long at this point.

Like I said, I'm just tired. I'm tired of this stuff existing in my brain. I'm tired of dealing with all of this and feeling miserable about things when I didn't even really do anything wrong in the first place. I left a Discord server to take care of my mental health and had a hand in creating a new space where I felt better. I’ve been terrified to even write this post because I don’t know what any fallout will entail but at the same time, I don’t know what else to do. I can block and I can turn off anon asks and commenting but that doesn’t change what’s already happened and it doesn’t change that somebody out there felt that it was okay to treat another person this way. And that’s something I can’t understand.

So, one last time. Xeno, if this is you, or if you are involved in some way, please just stop. That’s all I’m asking. I don't care why it's happening, and in truth I don't think anything can justify a death threat, I just want it to stop for good.

[cool-island-songs]

Evidentiary Support for Recent Allegations Leveled against Xenolith1245

This is a follow-up to LadyFeldspar’s post about somebody leaving hate comments, suicide bait, and death threats on her AO3 fics and in her Tumblr ask box for the past five months.

Below I will provide the evidence that links the IP addresses LadyFeldspar (hereinafter Kelsey) provided in her post to Xenolith1245’s web presence on Tumblr, instead of just narrowing it down to some person in Arizona.

Here are the IPs that Kelsey received on her blog on the 19th and 23rd of this past March:

As you can see, this user visited Kelsey’s ask box four times on two separate days, and also checked to see who Kelsey was following on the 19th. The other page the user visited on the 19th links to Kelsey’s ongoing fic “Right Intentions“.

And here is the matching IP I received on a dummy Tumblr blog I created to either rule out or confirm Xenolith as the person leaving these hateful comments and threats in Kelsey’s Tumblr ask box:

I made this blog in about 10 minutes, choosing the handle “creek-freak”, and selecting user settings that would have made it impossible for anyone to see the blog other than those I directly interacted with or who were given the URL (which I shared with no one). I intentionally set this Tumblr up to be completely isolated.

Again, no one could have found this blog unless they were provided the URL, or if I interacted with them directly through the creek-freak blog.

I achieved this by doing the following:

I set the blog to be hidden from Tumblr searches, and from external search engines - these are the settings I selected:

I reposted art downloaded off of pinterest and didn’t tag anything, so nobody could find my posts in the tags. Here is one such pinterest art I posted that Xenolith reblogged (it was reblogged Monday, March 28th, as I was in the process of deleting the creek-freak Tumblr account, having already received the matching IP address):

and, lastly, I only liked and reblogged posts from Xenolith’s Tumblr account.

Xenolith followed and liked a post right away (if you are unaware, cheezbot is a bot that follows all or most Tumblr account. It did not leave a hit on the blog - it is just a bot):

I can’t say with certainty that the person sending Kelsey threats is Xenolith. However, I can say with certainty that the person logged into Xenolith1245’s Tumblr account on March 26th, 2022 at 2:38 pm has the same IP address as the person who is in Kelsey’s Tumblr ask box four times in the topmost screenshot.

I am not providing this evidence to condemn Xenolith and I do not condone harassment of Xenolith or anyone else.

However, if this is not Xenolith, then someone with access to her account has been impersonating her to harass Kelsey for 5 months, which I personally would fine alarming, were I in that position.

I can’t think of any other explanation than those two (frankly very far-fetched) explanations, or the Occam’s razor approach. Namely, it looks like Xenolith has been harassing Kelsey for the past 5 months, leaving anon hate, suicide bait, and death threats.

If Xenolith is by some chance not the one responsible for these threats, then something extremely sophisticated and sinister is afoot, and one would hope Xenolith would look at this evidence and consider this a serious issue that concerns her as well.

One last point I will add is that several people, including Xenolith, have said Kelsey should contact the police. A quick google search will tell you how likely it would be for such a case to be pursued, particularly an international case such as this. Even if authorities in either Xenolith’s or Kelsey’s country of residence were willing to pursue this, it would be a long, difficult, and expensive process that might still be fruitless.

[oppa86oppa]

ur a towl - but you know, ur a fairly nice to talk to towl so this is actually a compliment

[gemneedscoffee]

I wasn't going to say anything else but...

given that Xenolith1245 has officially blocked me on Tumblr (which is so confusing when all I did was question why she always seems to be at the center of drama, and she claims she didn't do anything…but I digress) I figure I also have no choice but to make a public post to get my thoughts across. I really only want to again reiterate that as a community leader I find it really disappointing that Xenolith1245 would respond to the situation of the past two days now with this behavior. I really like to see the best in people, and I hoped Xeno would take this opportunity to try and mend the divide she claims exists between her and other people in the fandom, to be the bigger person. I would have even hoped we would still be cool, given I never unfollowed her on Tumblr, or anywhere throughout this situation. But it’s sadly clear she’s far more concerned with her reputation and her server’s reputation than the fact that a member of the community has been receiving death threats and could really use support right now, even from former friends (and especially if she didn’t do it). It’s just, to use her wording, "unfortunate" that this is how she’s choosing to respond to this situation, but I hope she can reflect on this and one day see her actions differently.

On a more positive note, I would like to again share that there is a multi-ship discord server called Ships Ahoy that is now live. It is an 18+ discord but the idea is to bring the community together to enjoy all kinds of ships and content and everyone is welcome! I promise this isn’t an elaborate advertisement, lol I just, again, wanted to end on a positive note!

But to be clear, at the end of the day I just really do want to see an end to the harassment and bullying and see the community move on to better things. I hope that we can all agree everyone deserves to be treated with respect in this community. <3

[trainerchapiiz]

🎶da-DA-dada-DA-da-da-da… da-DA-dada-DA-da-DA… CHAPENO!🎶

CHAPENOOOO???? only if @xenolith1245 is down 👀

[weedle-testaburger]

ur a towl

YOU’RE A TOWEL

[dusksmote]

bad boys get leashed 😈

my submission for @xenolith1245's creek zine last year

[razzl-0]

Time to dump some married!creek before it possibly all goes to hell tonight😂 @xenolith1245

[vibratingblondechild]

Happy birthday @xenolith1245!! I finally got this finished for you, I had fun drawing this <3 Everyone should go read her awesome fic All’s Fair in Love and Dodgeball

[wintergrew]

💝Happy Valentine's Day!💝

I participated in a Valentine's Secret Santa-like event and got @xenolith1245 and wrote a little Creek Valentine's fic 💘

Check it out if you'd like💕💕

[stanspoofball]

its become very apparent xeno is trying to influence the people in her server to be on her "side", especially new server members who were not aware of this whole situation in the first place. she has created a block list in the server which includes most of the people who made posts against her, and people who get close to xeno have been known to go through with blocking. she shouldnt be trying to influence people in the fandom this way, especially since a lot of the people in the server have otherwise had positive or neutral interactions with the people they're being told to block. to paint this situation or the people involved in any light other than trying to get the death threats to stop is appalling , especially in a server of over 90 people that's constantly gaining new members who aren't aware of who these people are or what happened.

this but LOUDER fam

[cool-island-songs]

Hello, curious about something. The screen shot you have showing the IP access has a date of Saturday the 3/26, but your screen shot shows that Xenolith1245 interacted with the post on Friday the 3/25. That doesn't make much sense to me. Could you please clarify. Thank you.

Thank you for your question. I can clarify, but I would like for you to contact me in my DMs either here or on discord since I am fairly certain I know you from the Creek server and I have enjoyed calm, civil conversations with you in the past.

If you are asking in good faith, I will readily share further evidence with you, but I’m not making another public post on this subject as no one outside the Creek server has had any questions.

For what it’s worth, though, IP hits don’t show up just because someone likes or reblogs a post. You only get an IP hit if someone clicks through to the domain of your blog. Using my blog URL as an example, viewing it at “tumblr.com/blog/view/cool-island-songs” results in no IP hit, whereas viewing it at “cool-island-songs.tumblr.com” does.

“cheezbot” is a Tumblr bot who follows and likes things at random. I thought everyone knew about cheezbot. He does not live in Arizona.

[lonereedy]

I think I’m losing my marbles. 🙃

I have managed to make mistakes/get lost catching a bus, walking through a park and going to the public restrooms in a place I know *and* have lived in. 🥺

I have no excuses, I’m just an idiot and an untrustworthy tour guide.

I’m so absent online/in fandom rn. I’m sorry. I miss my head being full of no thoughts, just old men creek. How do I go baaack?! 🥲🙏

I have sooo many fics on my list to read, particularly by @tlinrookie Mr and Mrs @xenolith1245, @cosmicpanda14, @cool-island-songs @wintergrew and @skiddlydoobap among others, but I’m banned until I finish what I started, just please know you are all awesome, talented writers and I hope you’re doing well. I fully recommend any works by them if you’re in need of a SP fix! 😊

(And @sinchistesp you are awesome, dear!! I can’t wait to work with you on the next part of the AU!! 💖)

[ombreins]

Happy birthday @xenolith1245!!