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#y/n isn't used
itsyagurlchip · 2 months
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٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭  ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰Video Game Lover 💜٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭  ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰
✰⋆⁺warnings: cussing(!) slight existential crisis(!)
✰⋆⁺Sorry this took so long to come out- I had a hard time figuring out what kind of game I wanted this to be. I also changed the pov to 2nd person bc 1st person is starting to make me a bit uncomfy- Much trial and error. Enjoy this chapter!!
✰⋆⁺ Chapter 1: Welcome to the Underground! Sike-
(Prologue) | (chapter 2)
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(-!)
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PROGRAM LOADED, START? (?)
YES NO (ok then)
{ enjoy your experience dear player :] } (WAIT! )
You couldn't tell where you were, and you could swear you could hear dying by omfg playing somewhere in the back of your head. Or was that all around you? All thoughts were interrupted by that trashy music.
Speaking of, your head really hurts.
And so you took a moment to gather yourself before you looked around your environment. and oh dear
Everything was either bright or pastel (you're pretty sure you wouldn't be able to see once you got out of here) and the build of the place reminded you of something from mario's 3D world.
Your Utah Aunt's baby shower could never.
You were in the forest, and in the near distance, you could see blocky-like hills. The grass underneath you was a sea green, and then you saw your feet underneath your knees.
you were pixelated... Which you found odd, the environment around you was round and 3D, but whatever.
You were in a royal attire, which made you question your lack of shoes.
Reaching for your hair you felt a metal through your tufts. A crown? You took it from its place and inspected it. huh, it was increased with a heart shaped gem. Underneath it, it was encrested with the words 'Our Majesty' Which made you do a double take.
where you a royal? Alright then. About time! You deserved this for a long time damn it!
Placing your status jewelry back on your head, you turned back to the world around you...how were you gonna get back? If this was really a video game, how many lives did you have? Were you...ever going to leave?...
What would happen if you ran out of lives?
A lot of it was cutesy in a way, something that you would've decided to play with your cousin- but knowing that your life could potentially be on the line...
Well now isn't the time to start that pissy crying now! If you're in a game, the only way to progress is to keep moving forward. In this world, time would wait you for, making your leave unnecessarily prolonged. You had to keep on moving.
You were currently in front of a rushing river, speeding as one would do when you're in a court case involving your kids. It didn't look safe to cross, so you didn't.
You looked around once more, seeing a long tree trunk conveniently placed between two branches. It also looked more like a plank now that you looked at it.
Either this game was trash, someone granted you a gift, or this was a coincidence. Either which way, you weren't gonna slow this journey. Rolling up your ridiculously puffy sleeves, you stretched and began to prepare yourself before you gripped onto the plank.
Oddly enough (what wasn't odd about this place?), the item wasn't heavy at all, but it held against the currents of the water.
You thanked the stars as you walked across your makeshift bridge to find out it was very much stable.
You marched deeper into the other side of the woods, hearing a ping above your head. You looked up to see a...?
A white check mark? Welp, you did something right in life, even if it was virtual.
You press onto it, the sign stretching out into a screen. Like a small laptop. It lowered down in front of your torso, with the screen black, and the words in purple pixelated text. There was 3 pages, each labeled stats, traits, and inventory.
Stats
Lives: 1
Death Count: 0
Health: 30/30
Attack 2/20
Traits
Perserverance: 5/20
Kindness: 0/20
Charizzma: 0/20
Intelligence: 5/20
Shadow Phase: 20/20
Inventory (1/5)
Extremely sharp knife
That sucks, you could only hold 5 things! And you weren't even gonna acknowledge the traits. And you were wrong...The wingdings didn't read 'One shit', the game is called 'One Shot'.
Which means anything with more atk damage would easily kill you, even if it took some time.
Underneath the stats read a note. It would be crazy if this was written by some gnome.
Welcome my Liege, this is Nigel the Gnome, your previous caretaker, and now lost friend! If you are reading this, I am dead.
'Well damn'
I warn you: Someone of non-royal status is going to dethrone you! Maybe even going as far to assassinate you. I am unsure. All I know is, you have to be careful on this journey. Ever since you left for the expedition, this forceful tyrant has only started his progression.
'i just got here bro-'
He's taken control of the capital, placing a bounty on your name.
'you just had to think something didn't you'
I yearn for this to be another life, but this isn't the case. Your Majesty, there is something about you no one has ever known of. Your legal guardians have entrusted me with this royal government secret, and now is the time to bestow the same upon to you.
You, my dear child, have the power to manipulate and phase into shadows. Apologies for not explaining this sooner, but here is some information you may want to get familiar with:
You can change the shape of shadows, you can travel through them as well as see through them, and you are able to make shadows, as well as your own, physical enough to defend and offend someone.
Bad news is, the only drawbacks you get is your body phasing in and out of the shadow realm, and tiredness. The best part is that only happens when you make the shadows physical.
I am running out of paper, so I have one last thing to say.
You only have one shot.
With the love, determination, and care I can give to you,
-Nigel Gnomaly
the world zoomed in around you, giving you tunnel vision. 'oh dear stars-' The world around you turned black.
GAME LOADING
LEVEL ONE FINISHED
{ Keep on going, the journey hasn't even begun :] }
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(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و tags: @kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice @valen-yamyam16. if you would like to be added, check my blog.
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pedgito · 6 months
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𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐒 ╳ SERIES MASTERLIST
Chapter Two: Chivalry, Secrets & Hot Tubs (Week One)
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[strangers to friends to lovers, age gap (56/mid 20s), forced proximity, no outbreak]
(Series) Content Warning: a very, very lonely joel miller. copious amounts of lusting, tension, joel is an excellent cook (food, alcohol, ect), hot tubs, impromptu snowball fights, awkward situations, deep talks and tragic backstories (specified within chapter warnings, deeply depraved smut/sexcapades and the inappropriate use of a dining table (also specified within chapter warnings), nicknames of endearment (no use of y/n)
quick note: i love all the reblogs/feedback and that you're all enjoying this as much as i am <3 and a huge thank you to @swiftispunk for being the best and looking over the first chapter for me, i am completely scatter-brained and forgot to mention this when i posted last monday, so tysm han and pls go check her out if you haven't! & follow my fic update blog (@pedgitos) and turn on post notifications so you don't miss any updates/posted fics!
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Chapter Summary: Settling in is easier than you expect, but it does come with a fair share of challenges. A week filled with getting to know one another and some moments shared, your week doesn't end on the best note, leaving you with a choice.
Chapter Warnings: (8k) no outbreak, grumpy!Joel, domestic shenanigans, Joel being naturally assertive, cooking dinner together, reading is good at encouraging Joel, one hot tub & two stubborn individuals, also...one bed trope incoming
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You wake up refreshed, like you’ve been born with a new reverence for life—alright, it might be a bit of an overstatement but it’s a wonder what a decent night of sleep could do and you’re feeling that this idea, playing house with a stranger—though it wasn’t much like that anymore—wasn’t the worst choice. And it reminds you of Joel, having left him in the chair last night, not wanting to burden him but you can only imagine the ache in his bones, his back, the discomfort of sleeping in a chair all night. 
You lay for a moment, bleary eyes adjusting to the early morning light. The morning sunshine wasn’t strong here, blanketed out by a stark white snow that covered the ground, it muted out most colors and left a cool, but bright blue that shined through the window above your bed. 
It was peaceful. No cars, no buzz of strong electricity outside your window, people and their idle conversation a few floors down from your apartment window. Not even a bird, really. But, there’s a distinct clearing of a throat from the living room that has you stirring in bed, rising lazily as you move with the same enthusiasm. 
It was a fresh week. The first official week of your vacation and you were going to start it off on a good note, clambering out of the bed and slipping on a pair of fluffy slippers to keep your toes from freezing off, not bothering to glance in a mirror on the way out—not that you needed to, it didn’t matter. It was early, you were still trying to shed the sleep from your body and you could care less. Plus, it wasn’t like an old t-shirt and sleep shorts was some foreign concept. 
When you peek around the corner, arms crossed tightly over your chest, you can spot Joel’s head tilting to one side, hand kneading at the taut muscle in the center of his back where his neck starts to begin and then you’re stuck watching as he stretches his arms out wide, working out all of those muscles. Every single one. And you’ve been silent for far too long.
Yeah.
Clearing your throat softly, you approach from behind and keep your distance, announcing your presence like you hadn’t been lingering for a minute or two already. 
“Morning,” You greet politely, resting your weight against the edge of the island, taking in full view of a freshly awoken Joel, eyes still puffy from sleep.
He looks very…gentle. Surprisingly, so. It softens his rigid demeanor significantly and you have to silently talk yourself out of glaring at him for too long, “I didn’t want to wake you—I’m so sorry.”
Jeez—you two are getting good at that. Apologizing, afraid to step on each other’s toes. 
“Not your fault,” Joel massages his bicep with the heavy pressure of his thumb, looking slightly pained as he rolls his shoulders, “I didn’t realize how tired I was.”
“Yeah, but I forced you to stay up, so—”
“You didn’t,” Joel quickly shuts you down, “I’m a grown man,” there’s a laugh hidden somewhere in there, but Joel continues, “don’t blame yourself for my own irresponsibility.”
It’s too early for this. You force on a fake smile, void of any real emotion at this hour, running on fumes and the smell of coffee. Speaking of—you sniff, eyes searching for the smell like a dog would track a scent, and Joel is already pointing in the direction you should be looking for when your eyes land on him.
“I already finished it off on my own,” Joel admits, pointedly taking another long sip before resting the mug back on the counter, “I can get another pot goin’ if you need it.”
There’s an inclination to let him, seeing him assert himself so easily and offer, but you shake your head, “I think I can handle a coffee maker,” You assure him, meandering around the kitchen in search of the coffee grounds, ignoring Joel’s tracking of your movements, waiting for a moment to interject and point you in the right direction. You spot them a moment before the urge comes with a soft aha!
“I needed to make a drive into town,” Joel tells you after you’ve gone through the steps of starting your own batch of coffee, “pick up some more food, figured you might wanna tag along.”
He’s not asking, only assuming. But to be fair, his assumption is right. 
“Sure,” You reply cooly, pouring yourself a hefty cup of coffee to sip on, letting your body take hold of the caffeine, “...how far away is the closest town?”
“Hour and a half.” Joel answers and you almost have the nerve to go wide-eyed on him, but then you remember just how deep into the woods you both were and that it was necessary.
Truthfully, there was a more concerning matter at hand.
“How’s your music taste?” 
Joel has the gall to look offended by the question.
“I’m leavin’ in thirty,” Joel ignores you, “don’t think I won’t hesitate to leave you here.”
Okay, noted: Joel wasn’t much the morning person you assumed he was.
-
Joel immediately realizes how little disregard you have for touching things that aren’t yours when you reach for the makeshift box of cassettes tapes placed in the backseat of his truck—the thing was old, riding on it’s last leg, but it was something Joel would cherish until it was unsalvageable, torn seats, dents, and all.
“Ain’t gonna find anything you like in there,” Joel assures you, “None of that pop stuff they’re always playin’ on the radio these days.”
The tables turn on him suddenly, seeing your face contort into a similar emotion that he gave you earlier. Bewilderment, shock, annoyance. You scoff at the comment.
“Says you,” You retort back, sifting through the different cassettes until you find Joel trading glances between you and the road in front of him, almost worried you might chuck his collection out of the passenger side window, “Joel, eyes on the road.”
Joel enjoys a lot of country, which isn’t a total disbelief. But, it wasn’t something you shared the sentiment on, flicking away a handful of country artists you’ve never listened to and reaching some of the good stuff—older rock music, some classic 80s, and late 90s.
You pluck one out carefully, prying open the cassette case with gentle hands before sliding the tape in, allowing the low hum of the music to fill the car. There’s a brief moment of respite before Joel smirks to himself, thumb tapping against the steering wheel.
“What were you saying?” You look at him pointedly, shifting slightly in your seat.
Joel looks away briefly, biting back a chuckle, “Fine—I’ll give you some credit. Foo Fighters aren’t terrible, but you skipped right over Bruce Springsteen, so…”
You scoff in disbelief, “You don’t get to criticize me with that atrocious collection of country music,” You stare down at the box in thought, eyes brimming with a mischievous that Joel knows of immediately, he’s seen it before. Not with you, but he knows, “you know, maybe I should just do you a favor and—”
You can barely get a hand on the window roller before Joel’s hand is gripped tight over the box, trapping your other hand in his grip as he warns, “I’m not above leavin’ you stranded in the cold.”
Your grin is nothing but evil and Joel finds that there’s something about you that infuriates him in a way that is hard to describe, not in anger or rage, but a level that he thinks he could match. A game of back and forth that he could play into—but you’re quickly relenting regardless of the threat and placing the box on the floorboard.
“Already tried that,” You retort, “didn’t work too well for you, did it?”
Fair is fair. Joel doesn’t poke the beast.
Instead, he takes the chance to ask a question.
“So, what exactly was your plan?” Joel asks curiously. “You comin’ out here with no car and all?”
You shrug nonchalantly, “Didn’t really have one, but I would have figured it out.”
Joel shakes his head dismissively, subtly resembling a face of disapproval.
“Hey, you don’t get to judge me, okay?” You don’t wait for a response, “You can have whatever assumptions you want about me, but don’t try and act like you know anything about me.”
It was another reminder. Joel didn’t know you, but you didn’t know him either. You reign your frustration in slightly, quick to defend yourself but aware that not everyone handles confrontation in the same way—if Joel was quick to anger, you didn’t want to stoke the fire. 
“I’m not,” Joel argues, his voice calmer than you expect, thinking back to the saddled rage his voice held the night you arrived, the threat that lingered with every word, “I’m not, alright?”
“Then stop that.” You comment, waving your hand in a vague motion toward his face, “Stop looking at me like—”
“Like what?” Joel interjects, eyes more pensive as he looks over at you.
“Like—like I need a fucking lecture on life or my choices,” You tell him, a hint of pleading in your voice, “I’m not some kid who doesn’t understand how life works.”
“You’re not a kid—” 
“Good, great that we established that,” You lean back in the seat more comfortably, arms crossed over your chest as you keep your eyes on the snow covered road, “now shut up so I can enjoy the music.”
Thankfully, Joel does just that.
-
Conversation falls flat until you arrive at the store in town a while later, Joel fetching a cart and pushing it your way before he stops you suddenly, hand over your own again—a touch that normally you would flinch away from, but he’s already done it once before and the thought doesn’t even cross your mind.
“I’ll catch up,” Joel tells you, “I forgot somethin’ in the car.”
You glance back briefly, knowing that the walk isn’t that far. 
“Oh, I can wait. It’s fine.”
Joel doesn’t say so much, but the look in his eyes goes a long way. A silent plea for you to go with it and don’t ask questions—again, you didn’t have any right to. You nod quickly and wander off toward the store as Joel trails away.
It’s then when your phone starts to vibrate away in your pocket, the sudden availability of service sending a barrage of notifications your way—you’re terrified to take a glimpse, but you do anyway. It should be no surprise to bear witness to the many, many texts from your mother wondering where you’d run off to, but there’s a tinge of guilt settling in your stomach.
You send her a quick, dismissive text to explain that you were fine and enjoying your time, but no elaboration on the things she wanted to know, because really, there was nothing to tell. And if you did decide to expel the details of your trip, mentioning that there was no boyfriend and it was just a stranger you met in the middle of the woods, well…that wouldn’t go over smoothly.
You also find a quick, heated moment of frustration to send an unpleasant text to the owners of the cabin, still polite enough that it wouldn’t warrant your ability to work things out—and you decide that calling would reach them faster, that somehow they’d magically find a way to appear and fix things, but there’s no answer. Only a voicemail that gave vague details about being away on their own vacation.
Just your luck.
Great. You sigh deeply, shoving the phone away into your pocket and returning to the land of obliviousness as you step inside the small market.
You fend for yourself for a while, throwing several random necessities in the cart as you go, enough sustenance to spread over four weeks and manage meals the entire trip, also a few more bottles of alcohol don’t hurt, looking for a few hard liquors that catch your eye and adding them to the growing supply of items. 
You’re lost in concentration of the ingredients on the back of a box dinner when Joel’s voice startles you back to the real world, eyes jumping up to look at him and he spots the panic immediately.
He nods slightly when you recognize him, “Sorry, keep forgettin’ how jumpy you are.”
“You’re just ridiculously fucking quiet,” You tell him, breathing out a long sigh as you toss the box into the cart, “everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Joel assures, doesn’t elaborate. Okay, cool. You weren’t going to pry, no matter how much your instincts told you to. He scans the cart casually, “Mind tradin’ off?”
You lend him the lead and follow, watching as he pointedly finds things, like he’s reading off a list in his head and moves around the store with a purpose. It’s only slightly annoying that you have to keep pace with him, but he’s suddenly speaking out to you as he’s glancing over something on the bottom shelf, “Are you allergic to anything?”
“No,” You responded, eyebrows knitting together in confusion, “Why?”
“Grab some of that fresh rosemary,” Joel says, pointing out somewhere behind you and you whip around, eyes searching furiously and coming up empty, “—find it?”
You’re a little dumbfounded as you search the shelf of fresh herbs, Joel’s heavy footsteps approaching behind you as he reaches over your shoulder and plucks the exact thing he’s looking for with ease, “Hey, I had the right idea.” You defend, noticing how amused he looked at your befuddlement, “And you didn’t answer my question, either.”
“Well,” He tosses the small, plastic package in the cart, still tucked up at your side and you can feel his body heat, the solid wall of his chest against your shoulder, “don’t like the idea of accidentally killin’ you if I cook something you’re allergic to.”
“Well, what if I’m lying?” You challenge and Joel shoves you aside gently to grab the cart, hands on your shoulder as he shifts you away—and when had things gotten so…touchy?
Truthfully, Joel finds it easier than telling you, noting how quickly you quiet down when he asserts himself and does rather than asks. He knows if it made you uncomfortable you wouldn’t have had a problem speaking up immediately. 
“Look at me,” And there’s a deep timbre to his voice that has your chest sparking like a fire, eyes connecting with Joel’s for longer than you’ve ever allowed and it’s like he sees right through you, but he’s searching for something, “—you’re not lyin’.”
“But, if I was?”
Joel nearly leaves you in the dust, but turns to look at you with a subtle grin.
“Well, now I know you’re not.”
The ride back is easier, much easier—and Joel doesn’t fault you when you fall asleep halfway through, the heat of the car and the low hum of the music like a perfect mix as you curl in on yourself. Joel wakes you with a gentle hand on your shoulder when you finally make it back, allowing you a moment to shake the grogginess away with a word over his shoulder as he opens his door.
“Careful over that patch of ice on your side,” Joel instructs, “gettin’ colder so it’s slicker than it was a couple days ago.”
Careful. You roll your eyes carelessly, nudging the door open with your shoulder and hopping out, boots hitting the hard ground—your first mistake was underestimating the slickness and Joel’s warning, because the moment you take your first step it’s all downhill. Literally.
Luckily though, like a moment of divine faith as you pray that you don’t hit the ground, Joel is right at your back, arms slipping under your own as he plants his feet firmly and catches you. One arm crossing somewhere over your midsection and the other wrapping around your shoulder, a large palm holding you steady as he helps you back to your feet. You can feel him on the brink of making a comment, eyes looking down tenderly into your own—
“Don’t ask.” You warn him bitterly, face scrunched up like a kicked puppy, shrugging him off lazily. Joel doesn’t argue, making sure you’re steady before he allows you himself to fully let go.
Joel shakes his head subtly, a nuisance of his, and rounds the back of the truck to reach for the bagged groceries, “Fine, I’ll just say I told you so then. How’s that?”
Worse. 
-
Joel never asks for help, doesn’t even seem bothered when you stand there aimlessly, watching him stow away the groceries like he already had a game plan and you feel slightly useless, but it does give you a good opportunity to watch without any explicit reason or excuse. 
There’s an obvious purpose to Joel’s movement, clear that he’s used to doing a lot of heavy lifting and keeping up, probably prefers organization over clutter, and has a certain inclination to do things himself, always. And you can’t help the way your gaze clings to his face, noticing something a little off—not good or bad, just slightly different. You hadn’t noticed it this morning, but with the extended amount of time your eyes lingered on him, you realize he’s cleaned up a bit, shaved his beard down to near stubble, a subtle difference…but you notice.
You’re not sure how long you’re stuck in this state, arms resting against the counter as you stood there, practically useless, thinking about what Joel looks like on a regular basis, when he isn’t cooped up in a cabin in the dead of winter. You want to see that side of him, crave it. It’s an insane thought that doesn’t make sense, eyes widening suddenly at the realization of the thought you’re having—
“You still with me?” Joel’s voice calls out in the haze, muffled slightly as you come back into focus, eyes landing on him. “Think I lost you there for a minute.”
“Oh—no. I mean, yeah. I’m still a little tired, I guess.” It’s a bold face lie, but Joel seems to believe you. “Why?”
“I was sayin’ I need to go chop up some wood for the fireplace,” He explains again, “then you went all wide eyed…”
“Oh, okay,” You nod jerkily, “...do you need help?”
Joel immediately declines. No surprise there.
“Why don’t you get some sleep?” Joel suggests, “I can manage just fine on my own.”
Sleep sounds great, but it doesn’t happen. 
You try—you do, but the splitting of wood, the strong crack of the axe catching the wood outside of your bedroom window, it isn’t exactly soothing to the ears. So, you find yourself wandering into the kitchen, peeking between the curtains with a wild curiosity that reminds you of when you were younger and trying to catch a peek of the cute boy next door, a bashfulness replaced with a deep, insatiable hunger that you didn’t know existed until this moment. 
Joel was attractive, you could easily admit that. But, seeing him now, it’s a done deal. There was a deep pit of despair in your mind and you were stuck at the bottom with no way out.
It’s almost abysmal how easy he makes it look, the axe he’d brandish as his weapon of choice against you swung over his shoulders, the unfortunate lack of skin stretching over taut muscles as he went through the motions, covered up by thick layers. But, you get the idea. 
There’s a slight pout forming on your face before you catch yourself.
He slices full power through the wood like it was eager to give way to him. You also find that his face tugs up in a scowl after every swing of the axe, a soft sigh of exerted energy as he tosses the logs to the side and starts up again. You could watch for hours. But, you settle for the few more minutes he spends collecting the wood before you’re scrambling back into your bedroom like you had been there the entire time.
Unfortunately, Joel isn’t oblivious. Still, he spares you the embarrassment. 
There was no reason for him to entertain whatever he thought might be going on. He couldn’t.
-
The next few days are uneventful, though that was to be expected. It allows you time to really settle in, usually curled up on the couch watching the fire crackle away until you thought your eyes might melt away, or reading a book that Joel always seemed to be trying to catch a peek at. There was an innocent curiosity there that you could appreciate.
You also learned that Joel only took his coffee one way, offering up your services to refill his cup while you refilled your own, sugar lingering over the rim and he’s quickly pushing away the small container of crystalized goodness. 
“Joel, come on–” You grimace but relent, placing the cylinder of sugar on the counter.
“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” Is all he offers, almost challenging you to take a sip.
You accept, obviously. But, it isn’t without consequence.
The moment the bitterness hits your tongue you’re scrambling away, forcing the mug into Joel’s waiting hands and spitting out whatever putrid liquid remained in your mouth in the sink.
It’s the first time Joel actually laughs, a full on chuckle that isn’t very receptive on your end.
Joel apologizes with dinner that night, a gesture that wasn’t expected or needed, still you’re thankful nonetheless. But, it offers you the realization of just how good a cook Joel can be.
Steaks grilled to a perfection that only came with repetitive practice and learned techniques, vegetables sautéed and seasoned to an enjoyable level, and a side of pasta that if Joel told you he made from scratch, you would’ve believed wholeheartedly if you hadn’t seen him dump the entire box of pre-made pasta into a pot of boiling water.
You’re halfway through dinner, chewing thoughtfully on a bite when you finally break the long, but comfortable silence that had blanketed over you both.
“So, Joel,” There’s a tone to his name that catches his attention, eyes flicking up to meet yours mid-bite, “what do you do for work?”
At this point, your nosey tendencies take hold.
There’s a scrunch to Joel’s nose before he speaks, almost as if he considered feeding you a lie alongside the beautiful meal he’d made. He settles for a simple answer.
“Uh, carpentry.” Joel tells you after a long pause, “I—build stuff for people, businesses sometimes.”
That explains some of his sturdiness, his practiced strength that came from, probably, years of hard constructive work and building. It also explains why he’s also working away at his hands, rubbing out the stiff joints and knuckles.
“I know what carpentry is, Joel.” You deadpan, but there’s a playfulness lingering in your voice. 
You assume he’s used to explaining himself often, which is why he forces it on you so easily.
“And you?” Joel asks suddenly, “College? You’re about that age, right?”
You snort softly at the tone he offers, slightly patronizing, but all in good fun.
“I’m taking a semester off,” You answer indifferently, remembering how disappointed your parents had been about the ordeal, but you were suffocating, “I’m not sure what I want to do anymore.”
“Nothin’ wrong with that,” Joel assures, “can’t fault you either. Never went to college so I don’t have an opinion on it.”
There’s no judgment on your end, but for the sake of conversation, you bite.
“Any reason?” You ask curiously, wondering if you'd receive the similar sentiment that it’s all just bullshit.
“Didn’t have the money,” Joel answers simply, “didn’t have the grades, either. I thought I could start my own business out of carpentry, but…”
But…you lean into the table slightly, hanging on his words.
“You need a lot of money for that,” Joel finishes, “and, I mean, I’m livin’ comfortable now, but that idea took a lot of money that I didn’t and still don’t have.”
“So, you waste it on month long vacations in the middle of the woods,” You surmise humorously, nodding in approval, “can’t say I blame you, either.”
Joel shakes his head in amusement, chewing around a bite as he speaks, “Your turn.”
Right. An eye for eye. A question for a question. He's watching you expectantly, waiting for you to give a response to the same question you asked him. 
“Oh—I work out of this bookstore in downtown Austin.” You admit, finishing up the last few bites of your food, scraping the plate nearly clean. “It pays the bills and then some. I like it.”
There’s no compliment needed for the food, all the evidence of it gone. But, you feel the need to appreciate it anyways.
“Thanks for this, Joel.” You speak again, softer this time. 
“It’s no big deal, darlin’.” Joel assures you, holding up his hands in a feeble defense at the compliment, clearly something he doesn’t welcome easily. “Just food.”
“It’s been...months,” You tell him, “since I’ve had any type of home-cooked meal. Take the damn thank you, Joel.” 
He smirks at that, seeing the threatening fork raise before you utter those final words.
“You’re welcome.”
And he means it.
You force Joel to stay seated while you clean, knowing it was the least you could do after he spent so much time preparing and cooking dinner. There’s a solid few minutes of arguing before you have to physically shove Joel back into his chair despite his protests, hands pressed into his shoulders as you threateningly speak down to him.
 “If you move, I’m locking your ass out in the cold.”
Joel wouldn’t mind, but you’re silently hoping that he’ll just listen.
After all is done, tossing the damp washcloth to the side, you sigh with a newfound relaxation.
There’s only one thing that might top off this night, making it almost the first perfect day here.
“That’s it, I’m getting in the hot tub,” You decide, squeezing tenderly at the tense muscles of your neck, thankful that the owners had a small alcove connected to the cabin that allowed for you to enjoy the hot tub from the safety of the cold, “join me?”
You’re not sure what inclines you to ask so openly, but you don’t second guess it.
“While I appreciate the offer,” Joel starts, “I don’t think I brought the proper…attire.”
He’s still seated where you had him planted and it makes you laugh softly at the idea that he was taking it seriously, which—yeah, you did threaten the possibility of hypothermia on him. 
“Fine,” You relent, rounding the corner of the island closest to him as you quickly call out over your shoulder, “but, there’s still a couple of chairs in there if you need the company.”
He didn’t need just anyone’s either and didn’t need, so much as wanted.
He wanted your company.
A while later, you’re already waist deep in the hot tub, figure hugging white bikini tied back securely, arms resting against the side furthest from the door as you press your chin against your forearms and staring out the wall of vast windows that line the room, allowing a view of the snow storm outside, coming down in a flurry that seemed to only be gaining in strength—and Joel, well, he’s still sitting in that stupid chair.
He’s allowed himself too much time in his own head, thinking over the events of the past few days. His call to Sarah was pleasant, a much needed moment of peace when he hears his daughter’s bright, hyper voice on the other end. When he doesn’t have her for the holidays, it’s hard. The calls are sparse, the communication is clipped, and it feels like he’s being forced away from her, knowing that she’s growing older every day. That he is growing older.
He’s allowed a lot of his life to slip away, when he wasn’t working to pay bills and put food on the table he was usually drinking, bar-hopping with Tommy at his old age to hide the pain he felt everyday, mentally and physically. There’s a problem brewing under his skin, using the company of his brother and alcohol to cope with loss he feels so viscerally everyday. The life he could’ve had.
He feels pitiful, miserable—only took this damn trip to get out of town by the suggestion of Tommy, away from all distractions, hoping for a refresh to clear his head. But instead, he met you.
He had no clue what the fuck to do anymore.
Joel’s never processed emotions well, feelings or anything thereof. 
But, here he was, lusting after you. 
He knows it’s the excitement, the taboo idea around sharing something special with a stranger. Someone who knows nothing about you, someone who doesn’t have the leverage to judge. Someone who doesn’t have to know about all the wrongs he’s committed and bad choices he’s made. 
You’re not privy to the fucked up version of Joel that belongs in his hometown, cooped up in his childhood home that he inherited from his parents, filled with too many now painful memories that he’d made with Sarah when she was younger—when he still had her.
He can’t help the way his mind races every single second of the day, constantly worrying, always trying to busy himself with something, anything to keep that lingering cloud of anxiety away. But, when he thinks about you, even something so mundane as the way you squint to get a closer look at a paragraph of the book you’ve probably read a thousand times, his mind goes quiet. 
Because, frankly, he’s fascinated by the idea of you. That maybe, just maybe, you weren’t actually real. He’s halfway leaning toward the idea that he’s had a full mental break and this is all an illusion he’s cooked up in his head, but then he reminds himself that you are just as full a human as himself. There is a reason for this, even if there had to be some other force at play. 
Maybe you needed this as badly as he did.
A fresh start, no judgment.
And that’s why he decides to follow you, the moment he catches a glimpse of you as you turn the corner to take the steps down into the room that connected to the kitchen, a full glimpse of skin and body that he’s tried to keep his mind off of, despite how openly you stare at him.
There has to be something there. He can’t have imagined all of this.
You feel his presence when the creak of wood gives him away, one hand shoved into his front pocket and his other arm helping him stay upright as he leaned against the doorframe. The steam billows and settles like a cloud over the bubbling hot tub but does nothing to hide how see-through your bathing top is and the slick slope of your breasts, his eyes trailing down toward the small bow that was sewn to the midpoint of your top and know he’s staring at your chest, very openly—Joel’s immediately regretting his choice.
Your eyes follow his but you dare not speak, afraid to startle him.
Now who was the jumpy one?
“Change your mind?” You ask curiously, shimming the expanse of the hot tub as you grab onto the opposite ledge, resuming your previous position, closer to Joel now. If you reached out you could touch the edge of his flannel and soak the trim, maybe even pull him closer, but you resist the urge. “It feels amazing. I’m serious.”
It wasn’t a ploy to get him in, but it wouldn’t hurt. He doesn’t respond, eyes staring at the soft wave of the water as it hits your side, his posture rigid. 
Maybe you’d broken him.
“Joel,” You call out with a soft nudge to his thigh, as far as you could reach with your fingertips, cutting into his line of sight, offering a friendly smile, “just strip down to your underwear and get in.”
“I don’t think—”
Oh, for christ sake. 
“You wouldn’t have come over here if you weren’t at least thinking about enjoying the benefits of the hot tub,” You argue, “so stop being grumpy and strip. I won’t even look.”
It shouldn’t sound as gritty as it does, a playful venom in your tone as you sink back slightly.
It makes Joel feel like he’s back in high school, flirting with who would eventually be his ex-wife and mother of his daughter, but there’s an assertiveness that intrigues Joel, your willingness to put yourself out there without fear. Take a leap, a jump, and hope that someone will catch you. 
Joel caught you, he just needed someone to catch him.
You spot his fidgeting, the wheels and cogs in his mind turning and he just needs that shove.
Just enough.
You rise over the edge, palms pressed flat to bear your weight and squeeze your breasts together, belly button nearly level with the water as you’re close enough to see the fine details of his face, giving him a look that Joel couldn’t deny.
“Get. In.” You stress the words, making direct eye contact. “You can thank me later.”
Finally, he moves. 
You sink back slightly into the pool and wade the water until you hit a corner, watching briefly as Joel works away at the buttons on his flannel, quiet air filling with an unspoken tension. You try to busy yourself with the view outside, something that didn’t require you to look in the vicinity of Joel for a second, knowing that the moment felt more intimate than it needed to. But, it doesn’t stop that sparse glances over your shoulder to check on him, now barefoot and pulling his shirt over his shoulders, the fabric pulling and obscuring your view of his face and his view of you, staring so starkly at him in that moment.
It shouldn’t surprise you, but it does. The freckles that speckle his shoulders, nearly invisible from this distance because of his tanned shoulders and the unevenness of the tan as it continues down his arm, varying in shades of intensity, undoubtedly from hours of working in the sun. There’s also a smaller patch of hair on his chest that with his short cropped beard, seems to be trimmed down too. His strong build doesn’t throw you off, though—solid muscle that flexed across his stomach as he yanked his shirt a little harder to get it over his head fully, not built in a way that rippled down his abdomen, but showed a sturdiness to his figure that had your body humming to a tune that reached down to your core, thighs squeezing together under the water. 
Joel passes the shirt off into a waiting arm chair, clothes slowly piling on the cushion alongside your towel and he pops the button on his jeans, still unaware of your…innocent observation. But, the moment the jeans stretch over his thighs you swallow a little too hard and you’re immediately averting your eyes when he looks up briefly. 
Like you’d been caught. 
Joel clears his throat like a warning, as if he hadn’t felt your eyes on him the entire time, and swings a leg over carefully, a view of the black briefs that molded to his skin perfectly and hugged his backside in a way that feels criminally illegal…and you’re staring again.
He hisses at the sudden change in temperate, but inch by inch he lowers and adjusts, eventually huffing out a low groan, eyes closed, when he finally settles on the seat inside of the tub.
Suddenly, this felt like a terrible idea.
“See?” You break the revered silence for him, “Worth it?”
“Almost forgot how you just bullied me in here.” He jokes—full on fuckin’ jokes before cracking an eye open to catch your reaction, a subtle look of disbelief on your face. “I’m kidding, darlin'.”
Your fingers tighten around the edge of the seat under the water and you smile, a half-hearted roll of your eyes thrown his way before you relax too, for a moment.
“This is so weird,” You speak softly, after a while, and Joel looks slightly puzzled as he opens his eyes fully now, perking up slightly as he adjusts himself, chest rising over the water slightly, his arms hanging over the ledge with his fingers gripping the ceramic—and you’re gaze is drifting again, mostly to his hands, but you mask it as you look away briefly, down the hall or out the window. Literally anywhere but Joel, “it’s just—not how I expected things to go.”
“You’re tellin’ me.” Joel replies with an underlying amusement.
As the quiet settles, slowly drifting closer to one side, where you originally were when Joel came searching for you—voluntarily, he lingered and waited, waited for the push you gave him—Joel joined alongside you, burrowing himself in the closet corner nook and enjoying the view in silence.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Joel comments, “everything alright?”
Everything was fine and you couldn’t make complete sense out of it. The ability to be so inherently comfortable with someone you’ve only known for a little under a week, the attraction you felt despite your own rational thinking telling you otherwise, the urge to connect openly and without fear of judgment. It terrifies you.
“Can I ask you a question?” You ask quietly, “Like…a real question, not those superficial ones that we’ve thrown at each other.”
Joel doesn’t like the sound of it, but there’s also the inclination that he could feed you a total lie and you wouldn’t have any idea otherwise.
He nods, fist resting against his cheek as he turns to look at you and suddenly the pressure is on, your heart racing in your chest at his sudden, full attention.
“Earlier…you said you forgot somethin’ in the car,” Joel’s fist clenches unknowingly under the water, an instinct to bury his reaction, “I know it isn’t my business, but I was just curious what is was.”
Joel, against every fiber in his being that tells him to deflect, gives you a straight answer. It’s almost startling how easily it comes out, like he’s lifting a weight off his chest that he’s carried for years.
“I had to make a call,” Joel admits, “to uh—my daughter, she’s back home with her mom.”
Your brow pulls together in confusion, “Wait, are you married?”
Joel somehow amidst the heaviness of admitting his truth still laughs, quick to defend himself from your next question.
“Oh, not at all. Never, actually.” Joel responds, “We…I never married her mom, it was obvious pretty quickly we weren’t going to work well together.”
The answer is simpler than you expect, different too. Part of you wondered if he was pleading his own case to the owners and was just as unsuccessful as you, but this is much more vulnerable.
And despite your ability to lie, and his own, neither of you can force it.
You don’t pry further, feeling like it may push things too far. Too personal.
“Okay, your turn.”
“Do I scare you?” Joel asks suddenly, almost like he’s been anticipating the moment too.
You’re almost sure the expression you return makes you look insane, feeling the implication that he might, that he thinks—it’s so far left field that it throws you off.
“No—no,” You quickly reject any lingering doubt he has, “I mean…the first night, maybe. But, now…no.”
“Oh.” It’s all Joel can muster, unsure of why he was expecting a different answer. That you would say yes and whatever shroud of thought he had about this moment you were sharing was only out of fear, that you were just trying to be polite. 
“Look, I get jumpy because you sneak up on me,” You answer, “and you have this…presence about you,” Okay, not the best wording, “not scary or anything, just…strong.” Big, like a wall. Like, if anyone were to ever approach you wrongly, Joel would attack without question. And maybe the fact that he would do that should scare you, but instead, it entices you.
Joel sits with the implication, burdened by his own mind. 
You can see him lost in thought, speaking with a comforting surety, “Thank you…for telling me.”
The truth. Thank you for telling me the truth.
The next stretch of time, what feels like an hour, is spent in a comforting silence. You think Joel is nearly falling asleep but then he moves, make a comment about how the snow won’t let up and eventually you’re forcing yourself out of the hot tub, reaching over the side to snatch your towel and sending all of Joel’s clothes descending to the floor in the process and as if you had a death wish on Joel, your ass pops up at an angle that is physically impossible to look away from.
Joel is a gentleman, he swears. He was raised to respect and care and always put women first, but there’s a split second where he can’t pull his eyes away, feels like he’s just caught a glimpse of something he shouldn’t have, but then you’re turning your head over your shoulder and you definitely catch him—you could ruin the moment and say something or you could ignore it.
Fortunately, you save Joel some embarrassment, covering it with a sly smile as you apologize for dropping his clothes and take the final step out and wrap the towel around your body.
“Shit,” You quickly realize that in the midst of your pushing Joel to join you that he didn’t have a towel, “stay here—I’ll go grab you a towel.”
Joel wasn’t eager to move anyways, admittedly. Sporting half a hard-on under the water, he wouldn’t subject himself to the scrutiny of your gaze or what implications it would make, thinking every horrible possible thought to will it away—luckily your timing is perfect. 
You quickly gather his dropped clothes and pile them in the chair as you toss the towel his way, ignoring any and all chances to glimpse at his wet body, back turned as you quickly excuse yourself away in fear of the idea that you might say something unforgettably stupid.
-
The walk to your separate bedroom is quick, swift, like a desperately needed escape. 
But, as fate would have it, the moment you open the door and wretch the towel away from your body there’s a loud pop! to your left and a spark on the outside that has you halfway on the floor and slamming into the wall out of both shock and an attempt to shield yourself from whatever unseen force was at play, yelping out loud in the process.
From an outside perspective, you can understand why Joel doesn’t hesitate to come running.
He runs straight into your back, bare chest pressed against your know bare shoulders and leaving you half-dressed in front of him, scared out of your wits and willing to grab onto whatever was nearby to keep you upright—fortunately, Joel’s arm is the perfect anchor as your hand wraps around his wrist and squeezes.
“What the hell?” Joel inquires, slightly out of breath as he searches your face for any signs of injury, “What happened?”
You both look at the culprit—the heated window unit that was no longer expelling heat, and while the cabin was still heated, it didn’t reach the bedrooms well enough that you weren’t shivering without some type of additional help. You sigh in frustration, eyes turning up towards the ceiling as you feel no shame, too frustrated to care as you lean into Joel’s chest.
“Shit.” It’s all Joel offers as a solution, not that you were expecting one. But, still, it would be nice.
“Yeah, shit.” You echo, pushing away from him suddenly to gather your damp towel and a change of clothes, padding your bare feet toward the living room, but Joel is grabbing your wrist before you get too far from him.
“Hey, woah,” He starts in a calmer tone, “you can take my room—I’ll drive into town tomorrow and see if I can get ahold of the owners, we’ll figure something out.”
“I already tried calling them,” You admit, “Earlier. Straight to voicemail and something tells me they won’t be answering their phones until after the holidays.”
Pulling away again, you continue your way toward the living room and gather a few pillows and blankets, tossing them on the larger couch beside the fireplace. Joel doesn’t seem to entertain the idea, following on your heels as he gathers each item you throw in that direction and you finally reach a point of full, unrestrained frustration. 
“Joel, cut the shit.”
“Take the room,” He offers as a counter, “I can sleep on the couch.”
With his back? Not a chance. But, he offers anyway.
“Fuck off,” You chuckle bitterly, “I’m not forcing you out of the bedroom.”
“Then it looks like we’re sharin’ the living room.”
You close your eyes, toss the blanket aside and breathe, clenching and unclenching your fists in an effort to not completely lose it on the man standing opposite of you.
Chivalry be damned, Joel wasn’t giving in.
Fine, two could play at that game.
“I’ll take the bed.” You quickly agree, but there’s a lingering ultimatum.
Joel waits, sees the thought brewing behind your pensive eyes.
“But, so will you.”
“Now—”
“No,” You interject, putting your figurative foot down, suddenly vividly reminded of your vulnerability as you stood there, still slightly damp and in a swimsuit that did nothing to cover your body—it was the reason Joel’s eyes were so pointedly stuck on your face, never lingering elsewhere, “either we both sleep in here on the couch or we share the bed.”
Joel’s hands shift to his hips, towel tight around his waist and you’re too annoyed to admire the way his muscles tense and flex with the movement, the underlying thickening desire settling beneath the surface.
You match his stance, daring him to challenge you.
A small part of you wants him too.
“Anyone ever told you you’re damn stubborn?” Joel asks, trailing behind you as you enter his bedroom, a clone of your own but with a small bathroom attached.
“All the time.” You answer truthfully. “I’m going to shower and sleep—no funny business.”
Meaning if Joel did sneak away into the living room to offer up the full amenities of his own room, he would feel your wrath tenfold.
Joel resigns to the idea and gathers his own pair of fresh clothes before disappearing into the bathroom down the hall, leaving you both to a moment of levity.
There’s no anticipation to the arrangement—but the idea is there, burrowing into the back of your mind. 
You’re sleeping with a stranger…someone you knew little to nothing about, but it was your choice. And you trusted your gut. 
Joel was safe, he was good. 
You relax under the spray of hot water, a different heat to the one you enjoyed just a while ago, the type that allowed your thoughts to roam, and you laugh softly at the sight of Joel’s shower supplies, knowing he was stuck with whatever you brought—it wasn’t something you thought about in the moment, but there’s a brief realization that he was sharing a moment similar to your own, scowling at the sight of your fruity scented body wash that you left on the shelf there. It wasn’t a huge deal, Joel wouldn’t fuss over it. 
But, it also lends your mind to roam more.
As if his bare chest wasn’t already at the forefront, and his eyes as they had stared at you so unabashed until the moment he was caught, all innocent looks with deeper intentions that invaded your mind like a plague.
You were so fucking frustrated—annoyed with him, the state of your life, this stupid vacation. With the suds gone and the water drowning out the silence you allow yourself one—just one moment of selfishness...
And as if the house was the biggest tattletale of them all, the floor creaks on the other side of the door.
“Joel?” You call out curiously, as if an intruder in the middle of nowhere was even likely.
There’s several seconds of silence before Joel finally answers.
“Yeah?”
“Your body wash sucks.” You goad lightly, hoping to ease the earlier frustration that had grown between you both, and while you can’t see him, you can hear his laughter on the other side of the door.
“Can’t say yours is any better.”
You smile to yourself, the way he responds with fondness that he tries to hide.
When you finish up and dress, peeking your head out before you move to open the door fully, Joel is already on his side, turned away. It was obvious that he didn’t want to be bothered. The small blanket of division rolled and wedged in the center of the bed like a barrier, a warning. 
Keep your distance and you both may manage to survive the rest of this vacation.
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Thank you for reading this to the end! If you enjoyed please extend a like or reblog (with a comment if you'd like, i love reading them <3) to support writers, it helps a ton!
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atlantis-just-drowned · 2 months
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I just finished chapter 15 of 'Love, Death and Rollerskates' and Oh Damn
This post will contain slight spoilers so beware
Guys we already know that Sun also has his memories wiped by Afton but has anyone picked up on the fact that Afton also manipulates both Sun and Moon to hate each other?
I mean listen.
They are both so deeply convinced that the other is a monster. It's not just some manipulative tactic to keep the reader for themselves (as I thought for Sun in the beginning tbh). They really do think it's the truth. But how did they end up thinking this way, and why?
Welp those are very interesting questions but they're not exactly the right ones. What we have to ask here is who does this hatred profit to?
And here we have an answer, and this answer is William Afton.
Why? Because as long as they hate each other, they 1) forget that he's the one controlling them because they both have a scapegoat to blame for their situation and 2) can't team up to beat him, leaving them isolated and powerless.
Which is so damn clever to be honest.
So yes Afton erases their memories, but I also believe he takes this opportunity to fill in the blanks with some made up stories and/or manipulate the truth to nourish their hatred.
The worst part is the fact that he doesn't have to participate that much in it: all he has to do is twist the facts just enough for them to drift apart and stop communicating, and the rest is only a vicious circle of misunderstandings, negative emotions and lack of communication, that will never stop unless they actively seek to break that pattern and communicate.
For now I think Moon is the one who would recognise this pattern the most easily, because he's the most logical one of the two, and he already knows that Sun is being manipulated as well and experiences memory losses, he just doesn't know to what extent this affects his counterpart. Whereas Sun is in complete denial of it all, covering it with some sort of toxic positivity, and the narrative he gives is incredibly self-centred and based on his feelings rather than the facts, making it impossible for him to see the whole picture.
Reader have a crucial role in this dynamic, because both Sun and Moon care about them deeply, making them more keen on listening to y/n and taking their words into account. This is both a disadvantage and a good news: reader can aggravate this circle if they start picking sides and talking negatively about one of them to the other, but on the other hand, they could be able to push through the mutual hatred and get them to talk together again, with a common goal for the two of them: keeping y/n safe, and maybe, break free from Afton's emprise.
Anyway thank you for listening to my rants, I had to type this WHOLE SHIT twice because Tumblr didn't save my first draft lmao
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lyramundana · 9 months
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DOLLHOUSE
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The Kim family are seemingly perfect in the eyes of everyone who meets them. Rich, nice houses, gorgeous children and marriages built upon pure love and respect.
It started with Kim Felix and his wife, Jeonjin, a cheerful, if a bit excentric married couple. They had two healthy, handsome sons, Seungmin and Jisung. When they grew, Jisung met Hyuna at his workplace, where she worked as a model. He spend months pining from afar before he finally asked her out and, eventually, brought her home as his formal girlfriend, marrying her soon after. Then Seungmin met Lina some years later and, after weeks of mostly bickering and agressive flirting, he asked her out on a date. He brought her home to his parents as his the same way Jisung did, and ended up getting married too.
Jisung and Hyuna had two adorable sons, Changbin and Chan. Seungmin and Lina took their time, but when little Chan was five, Lina gave birth to a precious girl, Lixie. The ball of joy became made Seungmin's smile brighter than ever and brought a soft side of Lina that no one thought possible.
Don't let them see what goes down in the kitchen
This is the story everyone knows. It sounds like the dream family, right? They make such a pretty picture...as long as you don't look too close at it.
Don't let them see through the curtains
Because if you do, you'll see the cracks surrounding it. And you'll hear the dirty secrets the walls will whisper to you.
The wallpaper listens
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She became Lixie's babysitter by a recommendation from her friend, Jeong, Lina's younger sister. Hearing the woman's complaints about not finding a proper caretaker for her babygirl and knowing Nessa could use some extra cash, Jeong decided to kill two birds with a single stone.
She's been in this practically since Lixie was a newborn, exactly three years and half. It was supposed to be a short-term job until Lina managed to find an alternative so she could stay more at home, but she grew to adore Lixie and got used to the routine of taking care of her, so she stayed. At least that's what she explains to whoever asks about the matter. she's trapped, can't bring herself to leave
As babysitter, her job is very simple. Feed the baby, change her diapers, shower her, play with her and make sure she's healthy and happy at all times. That's all she must do.
As a babysitter, her only focus should be Lixie. She's all she needs to care about. And if she happens to hear or see something she definitely shouldn't have like Seungmin's brother coming out of Lina's room or the breathless moans and dirty words when Seungmin isn't home, that's none of her business. Oh, what is it? Is Lixie hungry? Let's fix that now and forget everything else.
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She's been the family's housemaid since Channie was still in the crib. The bills don't pay themselves and she was struggling when Jisung contacted her. He and his wife had demanding jobs and two kids, so they couldn't handle everything, he said. They needed someone to take care of the things they didn't have time for, and she needed quick money. It was an easy deal.
Officially, her duty consists on doing the house chores, like laundry and cleaning the rooms, but eventually she also began to look after the kids too. It was only natural, since they were the main sources of dirt she had to clean after, and in some way, they were house chores too. If Mr Jisung and Mrs Hyuna aren't around, she helps them with homework and entertains them, even thought it isn't part of her contract. There were talks about her quitting the job to move somewhere else, but it never happened. She clearly prefers to stay here, with this cozy job where she gets to spend time surrounded by luxuries she couldn't bare leaving them behind, not after everything
A housemaid's duty is simply keeping the house clean and comfortable for when her masters arrive. She does the laundry, cooks their meals, fixes their rooms and does as she's told until she returns home.
As a housemaid, she has mastered the art of being invisible. Her presence remains subtle unless she's needed. She's the ears and eyes of the house, nothing wents on there without her knowledge. Nothing. Mrs Lina's husband visiting them when Mr Han leaves the house. Hands and whispers wandering where they shouldn't. She's merely an spectator, unable to intervene. Look at that, the boys left their toys out again! She better put them back before the Masters arrive.
Taglist: @channieandhisgoonsquad @2chopsticks2eyes @moonlightndaydreams @linlinaert @queenmea604 @hanjisunglover @kpopsstuffs @noellllslut @bangtanmix73 @thightswideforhanin @boi-bi-ahaha @grayscorner @rosierosaaa @ren0325
Important: That's just how I envision the girls in my head, but you're free to self-insert yourselves. Imagine them however you prefer.
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swordheld · 9 months
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how do you think in poems? i really enjoy the tags under your posts i've always wanted to write down my own thoughts that way bc in my head they feel so thorough and magical but whenever i put it in words i feel it just gets so much flatter and i no longer see a point and give up
oh oh oh, but lovely, can't you see that you've already started? it's a perspective that you hone, over time, something that is specific to you and you alone – that's the piece of it that makes it so special! you've already begun, and it only goes forward, up, sideways from here, wherever you wish to go!
think of it like a skill, for a moment, or a kind of muscle, if you'd prefer. you have to work at it, with it, over time and differing experiences, in order to progress.
(a quick important note: not progression as in the kind of quality-check of a grading scale, but progression as in evolution. shifting change. think of the leaves and their colors across the months of autumn, or temperatures rising with the sun and cooling with the evening dark. change isn't intrinsically a qualifying thing, it can just be, sometimes. this is difficult to remember, especially in the midst of frustration, but it is worth it. you are always doing better than you think you are – harshest critic, and all that.)
which is not to say that it's a simple thing to do! compare this to the vibe of me picking up crochet recently, with my shaking hands and too-quickly dwindling adhd focus – my first attempts at making a lil headphone sprout have not been going as well as i once hoped. my stitches are either too big and sloppy bc i'm not holding the yarn tightly enough to get clean ones, or i feel frustrated due to it not looking like how i'd like it to look in my mind when i started it, or even as i begin my umpteenth attempt.
but!! i know that it won't ever look the way i want it do if i set it down and never keep trying. it'll take awhile, like everything does, even the seasons take their time, the moon and its phases; but what i do know, is that, eventually, it'll resemble something i want it to. vaguely, maybe, but it is something. it doesn't have to look exactly like the guide i'm following, or the examples i'm inspired by, because it's mine – something made by my own hands, my own time and experience with every mistake and thrilling joy along the way to learn by.
take it from me: i want to be good at things i want to be good at so badly. and that excitement makes me want to be at the skill level i need to be at in order to do so right then and there, no learning curves or building blocks allowed. which is never how it happens, unfortunately, but –
i think, gently, that we tend to overlook what a pleasure it is to learn. to see the slow progression of things, to begin and change and continue and get better. and even if it's different as we go along, in a way it's our own little kind of magic, maybe, to create and never be done if we don't want to be.
which is all to say: it's already yours. why does it have to be anything else, anything more? why can't it just be good as it is now, where it might never be again? what is there to lose by enjoying the moment of where you are?
like everything, it will grow and shift and evolve with time, maybe into something you'd hoped for, or maybe into something you don't even have the words to describe right now at all. but that's the fun of it: how even now, even then, there, across time and distance and skill, there is a common thread of things; it will always come from your heart, your experience, where you are right then and there and now.
and if you think of that like magic, well, it becomes a little like magic, doesn't it?
also, something to consider: sometimes things you feel or think can't be put into words at that moment, or even at all! something else you could try (that i certainly do) is making something else with whatever it makes you feel - whether that's another form of art, or any other kind of media. if it makes you want to go outside and take a walk or get cozy and read or play a video game? that counts too! that's still an experience, you're still feeling.
i think that counts a little more than anything else, you know?
and as a little ending fun side-note, can i share something cool? i've never thought of it that way before, as thinking in poems. in my mind it's always been a kind of perspective of personal wonder, but you're right – it's poetry, in it's own way. you gave me that – so thank you, from the heart of me. i hope your journey finds you with every bright joy.
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spaciebabie · 2 years
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"Put your head on my shoulder.....Hold me in your arms, baby."
just some oc lore. who is it? wouldn't you like ta know
imagine being eaten alive by rats at 6 years old. well, they don't hafta imagine they remember. even decades later the nightmares don't seem ta stop.
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nattikay · 2 months
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NattiKay fursuit 3.0: digitigrade edition is in the works 👀 still in the planning/materials gathering stage atm but hoping to start on the actual work within the next week or so. If all goes according to plan she should be ready in time for AWU in a few months!
NattiKay 1.0 was made in 2017, followed shortly by 2.0 in 2018. I'd wanted a digi suit even back then but I was new to fursuit making and figured digitigrade might be a bit above my level, so I stuck with plantigrade. Welp, since then I've upgraded almost every part of 2.0 at least once (at this point it's probably more like 2.7 or smth lol)...EXCEPT for the wings and bodysuit, which is still that same plantigrade one I made in 2018, so it's been in use for nearly six years now. The most recent upgrade was her current head, which was...I think two years ago?
SOOO...after getting inspired by seeing some of @happyfoxx-art's WIPs, I've decided...it's finally time. No more 2.2, 2.5, 2.8. It's time for 3.0!! Gonna make every single part fresh!! And finally gonna try to upgrade to digi style legs!! Been wanting to for years and now the time is right!!
I'm a little apprehensive because I know it's gonna be a ton of work and I'm wary of getting burnt out (has happened before, usually because of rushing to finish before a con) but I am DETERMINED to pace myself and take my time and do it RIGHT even if that means slow. I'm starting early enough that there should still be plenty of time to get it done before AWU without feeling rushed, and if I'm gonna put in all the time effort to make a whole new suit from scratch instead of just a replacement here and there I want it to look GOOD. Been looking up tons of tips and tutorials and such and definitely hype! I'm trying to temper my expectations because of course my execution is not gonna be pro level BUT there's definitely a lot of potential and it should at least be decent!!
I will admit I'm "cheating" with the head by using a premade base this time though. Found a really adorable expanding-foam-cast one for sale and I'm hoping the fact that it'll be all smooth and symmetrical will help with the furring, especially around where the muzzle connects to the head, which is a spot I've always struggled with sculpting and furring in the past. And I suppose if I end up not liking it for whatever reason I could always go back and sculpt my own anyways. We shall see!
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riewritten · 1 year
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cooking something for sweet subtleties, my go-to series when i'm undergoing heavy plot block <3
tags: healing from implied sexual harassment, explicit content, masturbation
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aquietlifesblog · 1 year
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Hungry Eyes (Dio X F!Reader) 1/6
He met Lord Pendleton before—he’d come once to visit the Joestar estate. The man took one look at Dio and decided he wasn’t worth acknowledging.
Your features may have been darker but you carried his face.
OR
Dio Brando knows what it's like to be hungry, to reach for more in life. He can use your ambition to destroy the man who slighted him and discard you just as easily.
He never planned to like you.
Read the Full Story on AO3 I thought it would be fun to publish this on Tumblr, where I might be inclined to share more of my thoughts.
| Masterlist |
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Prologue: An Uneventful Youth
Before the hunger overtook you, when you were nothing but a scullery maid, you had ambition. You wouldn’t stand in the shadow of nobility, nor would you resign yourself to a life cutting vegetables and scrubbing wine stains from the floor.  
No. You knew what the servants whispered, what the mirror confirmed. 
‘Erina isn’t his only daughter.’ 
‘He rolled around with the kitchen maid.’ 
‘You can’t deny the resemblance.’ 
‘Poor Lady Pendleton; it must be awful to look upon her every day.’ 
Erina never asked about it. Why would she? You inherited your Mother’s traits, her hair and eyes, and her complexion. Your face, however, was your father’s face. 
“He’ll never claim you,” your mother said before dying, “ but he’ll keep you safe here. Don’t resent him for that. ” 
‘Safe,’ you thought, ‘and locked away where the nobles will never see me.’ 
You were the same age as Erina—but you would never carry the Pendleton name. You would never marry a kind and noble man to improve your lot in life, nor would you be given prospects. 
Not unless you forced a change. 
So, as Erina chattered endlessly about her carefree days and growing interest in calligraphy, you smiled and gave your sister grapes from the storeroom. 
“Thank you, these are perfect!” Erina beamed. She placed the grapes into her basket and waved goodbye. You smiled, as you always did, until the young mistress vanished from sight. 
‘I hope you choke on those grapes,’ you thought, before returning to your duties. 
And so went your uneventful youth—until the day you met Dio.
| Next Chapter |
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Stretch Meet cute in a convention
Stretch shifted on the hard plastic folding chair, trying to find a comfortable position. Just a couple more hours and then he could pack up and go eat. He wanted to go now...All his fans (all four of them, ha ha) had come to see him in the morning. He'd signed a few more books for other curious visitors, but mostly he'd just been watching people go by the booth. Why had his publisher wanted him to come to this?
He couldn't even dress up. ("They need to be able to recognize you!") He'd managed to get away with a goofy t-shirt under his blazer, but it would have been way more fun to get to do a real cosplay. He'd even suggested he could come as one of his characters, but nooooo...
With a sigh, he looked out at the crowd again. Mario, Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, lots of anime characters...hobbit, witch, Pikachu, Pokemon trainer...skeleton? He blinked and looked again. Yes. Skeleton. In a trench coat. With a hat. Headed this way! Things just got interesting!
As the skeleton got closer, he realized it was actually a human, with really good face paint and bony gloves. They were clutching a book in one hand. "You're P.T.S. Gaster!" they said as they reached the table.
"In the flesh," Stretch said. "Well, so to speak. I take it you're a fan?"
"A big fan," the human said, holding out their book. "I've read everything you wrote, and--can you guess who I am?" They turned to show you all the details of their costume.
Stretch's grin grew. "You wouldn't happen to be Detective McBones, would you?" he asked.
"The one and only!" They beamed at him. "People have been getting it wrong all day, but when I heard you were going to be here, I knew this had to be my costume."
"Looks great," Stretch said. "You want me to sign your book?"
"Please!"
They held out the book for him. He took it. "What's your name, Detective?"
"Y/N."
Inside the front cover, Stretch wrote, Y/N-- thanks for being the kind of reader I always hope to meet. You made my year. -P.T.S. Gaster
Y/N took the book back and blushed at the inscription. "You're welcome," they mumbled.
Stretch thought for a moment, then asked, "Hey, do you have anywhere else to be? I'm gettin' kinda bonely here all by myself. Could use a buddy for a bit, if you're up for it."
"Sure!"
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lavenoon · 2 years
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(What if too tired for work, but not too tired for fanfic?) XD But seriously, I’m taking advantage of the fact that I can no longer focus on assignments to be able to read the latest chapters! And boooooooy do I have thoughts! Ok, ok, so first of all, man did Moon take the brunt of that reveal huh? Not only realizing what’s been going on, but now questioning his whole relationship with the Robin he thought he knew. I’m sure their complaints were more annoyed at first, but surely Sun may also have exaggerated a liiiiitle how bad the “coworker” was actually perceived when he told Moon about it, based on how we know Sun has also felt a pang of jealousy when y/n did speak fondly of him. But I can definitely see how Moon needed the space, (even if it actually might have made it worse just spiraling in his thoughts). And then also Sun! Because he’s so, so afraid that y/n wouldn’t see him as the sweet guy that they kinda went on a date with and have been building a closer relationship with, (which I mean, fair assumption, we saw how the ruthlessness went in reverse au even if it was due to have it directed AT them, which canon Sun wouldn’t do at this point). These guys are a combined ball of anxiety and fears. And omg, poor Robin. You have mentioned before that they didn’t use to hang out with anyone before and that they generally didn’t get along with most coworkers, so I suspected they were already a very lonely person (and pretending they could handle it fine) before they met the boys, but wow, this really highlights how much that was the case. They’re very concerned about Moon, and while they themself have disappeared before, they probably felt something was off about this time. And then to come back to find out their neighbor who maybe possibly went on a date with them just the day before is obviously avoiding them? Sun and Moon at least had each other to reassure themselves that everything would be fine when their landlord/rival disappeared . Robin had no one. And knowing how sweet Sun was towards them probably only made them think that whatever they did was a grave offense. So their rival could be dead and they wouldn’t know, and their neighbor might hate them now, and now they tried to fix it, but they’re still terrified of finding out what really is going on. And that loneliness that they probably didn’t even notice was there before is coming twice as strong now that they’re used to the company of two very important people to them. Ough, loving it all, can’t wait until reckless y/n learns the truth and does whatever they’re gonna do!
I sat on this the entire workday wanting to answer, you really sent this right before I left! gdhsj
This. has turned MUCH too long I am so sorry. Read more for you GFHDJS
But yea yea yea! If we compare Moon's reaction about being the "annoying coworker" in the first alt reveal drabble and the canon reveal, the difference is drastic.
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In one, he has the complainer right there - throwing pillows at him, rather than anything actually hostile. Y/N is frantic, and near panic, but did not go further than any attacks they direct at each other on any other day.
Another example from that one unpublished drabble I have no idea when I'll get to it (context: Dusk picked Robin up):
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This is early in the rivalry, but still standard. They fight a bit, but they don't truly hurt each other - in the alt reveal scene he had that immediate reassurance that yes, Robin may snark and throw some punches (or, pillows), but they don't see him as an enemy.
In the canon reveal? He has the immediate comparison of Robin & Dusk vs Y/N & Sun, with the latter being much friendlier and closer (as he thinks). Then he has the thought that he's the coworker, and Y/N isn't there to reassure him of their relationship and dynamic, he only has Sun who's in denial and then freaking out just as much, and he catastrophizes. It's a lot, it's too much, and then he's already buried himself in those worst case thoughts where not even Sun could reach him.
The nights he hides away to think he basically went through all their interactions, trying to interpret them differently, and some (especially earlier) memories might have fit this terrible new pattern he has to consider, but more and more... It doesn't make sense. Things don't add up, and then Sun shares that he was jealous because Y/N wouldn't rest until they heard their coworker is concerned.
So by the time Sun urges him to go back to work to see Robin? He's ready to hope again, and boy does Robin deliver. There's still a lot of hurt, remnants of doubt that he needs to talk to Y/N about, and fear of the unknown future for them all. But when Robin cheers him up, baits him into a chase, and is just so relieved to have him back? That's when things start looking up for him again.
And Sun? "which canon Sun wouldn’t do at this point" well. Maybe not quite - but once Sun leans into the rivalry, Robin is in for a surprise. And not just the "Oh no he's hot" kind! They just have the advantage that they already know all of him by then, unlike reverse Robin meeting the ruthless side first.
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He is ruthless. That is him, and he enjoys a good chase! He's also sweet and loves taking care of Y/N, yes, and if he had thought it's an option he would have hidden away all those parts he wouldn't want them to see and just be that for them. Would he have been entirely happy? Probably not, honestly. The secrecy and cutting off parts of himself to fit into that image he projected would have taken their toll on him.
If, post-reveal when things settle down, you'd ask him if he thinks it was good they found out? Immediate "Yes." He gets to show all of himself to Y/N, and they accept him, and enjoy all of him. He gets to cook for them and ask them if they're staying hydrated and also chase them through the city and fluster them on missions.
But right now? He doesn't know what the future holds. There's just fear that they might find out, and while they might not be horrified at what he's capable of per se, it's still one hell of a contrast to the person he tried to be for them. He thinks they'd see it as a downgrade, as opposed to Moon having an easier time since they already knew his agent side.
Moon's fear is that Robin may have never liked him. They disprove that as soon as they get the chance, unknowingly.
Sun's fear is that Y/N may hate Dawn. He doesn't get the reassurance until they do find out, and then some.
Moon took the brunt of the reveal - but Sun has to endure it longer.
Y/N? They thought they were fine on their own, they were doing well enough, they had some fun, they didn't realize that something was missing until they gained it, and then lost it again.
They were sick when they were "missing", or in the first case in the hospital, though Dusk knew about that.
An animatronic does not get the flu.
They don't know if it's something harmless keeping him, like it was something harmless for them - because their situation simply does not apply to Dusk's.
So when both of their support pillars suddenly crumble and cave in, when they're suddenly all alone again? They're terrified.
They're proud, and don't quite dare pester their supervisor for more info - just "You'd tell me if he was dead, right? I work with the guy regularly, I need to know if he'll be back. When he'll be back" and only gets noncommittal answers back that they assume mean he's fine, because they would tell them if Dusk was dead, right? But they can't be sure.
And they might feel like talking to Sun about it, hear any reassurance even if they can't share much, but... His last text came super late, and was kind of stiff, and they haven't seen him for a while now, where before they used to see each other on the porch or balcony pretty regularly?
Is he... Is he avoiding them? And if yes (because man, that would fit what's happening), why? The distance came after they sent the pictures - was there something wrong with those? They took a bunch of him, and didn't ask every time, was he put off by that? But that wouldn't warrant ghosting, right? Was there something else, something they missed? A signal, a cue, did they mess up? They don't even know, and they're already in a bad headspace, so they just spiral.
Keep hoping Dusk comes back, keep hoping they'll see Sun again.
When neither happens, they reach out to the one they can reach at least, their pride finally having lost to their concern and hope and loneliness.
They got the reassurance that Sun doesn't suddenly hate them for some reason, but he's still tense and unhappy, and Dusk is still missing, so it's still just a small relief.
They start feeling better when Dusk comes back to work, and almost close to normal when he falls back into their usual pattern, and Sun greets them on the porch again when they meet. But things are off, still, somewhat, and, well...
Their boys do have a bomb to drop right back.
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safyresky · 6 months
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TSCS butchered so many things. Honestly, I'm just going to continue to believe that Charlie took over as Santa (because they did my boy so dirty), that Scott was not the first human Santa (wth? seriously), and that this was all just some fever-dream induced vision thanks to the Sandman. Thankfully they cannot take away the weenie whistle away from my sweater-loving fool that is Neil.
And THANKFULLY they stayed very far away from Neil and Laura and Lucy so at least we still have them 😭😭😭 and their sweaters and feeling inventory sessions and general silliness we know and love!!
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arcadequeerz · 1 year
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I miss my dad.
#Cade.vnt#Closer it gets to Christmas the more it gets real and the more i hate it.#keep feeling like he's back on the road in his truck but i know he's Not and he's not coming home ever#N idk if its pathetic because me and him didn't get along and yada yada but i always expected him to outlive me#he was supposed to outlive me and he didn't and its Fucked Up and wasn't supposed to be like this.#old fuck was supposed to outlive all of us and he ended up dying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines and i didn't even get to say#goodbye#he didn't even eake back up#and i think thats what fucks me up the most that he didn't get to die here ay home- comfortable in his bed#or didn't get to make some stupid fucking joke that he Reall y shouldn't of said but still would make us laugh-#he left too quietly. he should of gone laughing#it isnt fair. it isn't fucking fair and i hate it and everyone keeps telling me its okay he's 'with god' now#and i dont want him to be i just want him back here. was suppoed to be a xonstant in my life and now#there's this fucking absence and i hate it so fucking much#we still dont even know what happened.#they kept throwing shit around and never said anything for certain.#anyways. my mom cut up a bunch of his shirts this evening- she sais she's gonna make a qult with them#she let me keep his pink floyd shirt though. crying and getting snot all over it rn#i just kind of need 2023 to be kinder to me. and my family. please i cant take anymore loss or pain#it feels like the universe hates me and wnts me dead.
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rythen · 1 year
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*slaps down a new chapter*
Back in the swing of writing, and despite starting up a brand new WIP (that will also feature Volo - what a shock!) I'm definitely still feeling this one.
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non-binharry · 2 years
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It pains my little queer heart to see how many people, especially here, are pushing this narrative as if bringing a flag to Harry’s show is something that some people fear. I understand not being on friendly terms or disliking certain groups in the fandom, but it feels so unfair to have people discredit and twist this safe space Harry has created over the years for himself and his fans. I am not trying to say that people’s feelings aren’t valid, but after all these years Harry’s concert probably should be the last place one is scared to bring a flag to, especially that Harry himself made them such an integral part of the show and its experience. The timing of this is also suspicious because obviously this narrative is created and pushed around the time he is slowly reaching his peak and branched out of being purely a fandom artist, creating even further gap between and certain someone, but that’s not about it. Maybe it’s not that serious but I got a chance to watch Harry for the last couple of years and it just seems so cruel and unfair to me that something he has truly cared for for years gets used against him and completely de-valued.
yeah
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incognit0slut · 1 month
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PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3
Behind Closed Doors
Your admiration of his vest leads you to an empty office with his face buried between your thighs—and an urgent Emily demanding your whereabouts.
Warnings: (18+ MDNI) soft!dom spence (are we even surprised), fingering, oral sex (f), semi-public, slight overstimulation, and Emily kind of overhears because she calls Reader in the middle of the deed (oops). 5k words
A/n: I don’t have any excuse for this one, I just wanted to rewrite this scene of him because looking at it is not enough
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You heard him before you saw him. It wasn't his voice per se, but the distinct sound of rapid shots cutting through the air. The noise seemed to intensify as you stepped into the control room, almost overbearing, but you'd long since grown used to its piercing sound.
"Is that Reid?" You asked, your polished boots echoing into the confined space. The officer monitoring him through the surveillance camera glanced over at you, and even though her expression didn't betray outright displeasure, you could hear a subtle edge in her voice.
"Agent Y/L/N," she greeted, her eyes darting between the rows of monitors, then to you, and finally settling on the clipboard in her hand. "You're not supposed to be here."
"Actually, I am. It’s Tuesday, my usual training day.”
"Not for another hour."
"I know," you countered, holding up your wrist to check your watch. "But I have some spare time, thought I’d come by early."
“I’m afraid it’s occupied right now. Agent Reid is still in the middle of his test."
This caught your attention. "What test?"
She glanced at you, her expression conflicted. "It's just a routine evaluation."
"He's currently not an active agent," you pointed out. It hadn’t been too long since his release from prison. It didn’t make any sense for him to go through an evaluation, not when he was behind bars for the past few weeks. Then recognition dawned on your face. "He's being evaluated to rejoin the team, isn't he?"
"I... I'm not at liberty to discuss that," she replied. Her gaze faltered momentarily before she nodded slowly, confirming your suspicions. "But yes, it's standard procedure for agents returning from extended leave."
"Oh wow—okay," you responded, absorbing the information. Your eyes flickered towards the monitor. "How's he doing?"
Her lips formed a thoughtful line before she answered, "Like the second coming of Wyatt Earp."
You let out a laugh, finding the comparison amusing. You'd known Spencer for what, three, four years? While he wasn't bad with firearms, comparing him to a historical figure like Wyatt Earp seemed a bit exaggerated. However, as you watched him through the monitors, despite your initial skepticism, you couldn't deny the truth in her words.
You had witnessed him handle a gun countless times, but always in situations where there was a real threat, where you both had to be on high alert. Yet as you observed him now from a different perspective, it was hard to tear your eyes away. It was as if he was in his element, and Spencer Reid in his element never looked so... attractive?
Now that wasn't an exaggeration. Although you had never admitted this to anyone—god forbid what your teammates would say—there was an undeniable charm to the confidence he exuded. While Spencer had always been attractive, there was something different about the way he handled the gun.
You were sure it had something to do with his time in prison. After all, who wouldn't be affected by such a daunting place, especially when you weren’t supposed to be there in the first place? Yet, surprisingly, Spencer seemed to be coping better than you expected. Despite the toll it must have taken on him, it was evident that his experiences had shaped him, perhaps more than he let on.
Although he was still the same sweet, adorable guy you considered one of your closest friends. But you weren't sure your current observation of him fitted the typical definition of friendship… because there was nothing remotely friendly about the thoughts running in your head right now.
Not only was it not friendly, but it wasn't exactly innocent. Because look at him. Look at the way he was gripping the gun, his arms defined beneath his rolled-up sleeves. Look at the way his protective glasses covered his face, the black-rimmed frames accentuating his handsome features. And even though you had seen him wear the uniform vest countless times, somehow it was undeniably distracting the way it hugged his chest. 
Yep—there was nothing remotely friendly about how you wanted to climb up the man.
A sudden buzz echoed in the room, snapping you to reality. You glanced up and noticed the officer you were talking to entering the monitor screen and it dawned on you that you had been so distracted by your thoughts that you hadn't realized she had left the control room.
"I'll send the results to the review board this evening," the officer's voice resonated from the screen.
"Did I do okay?" His voice came through.
"Like the second coming of Wyatt Earp," she replied, echoing her earlier assessment. Her gaze shifted to the printed cardboard image of a man, supposedly representing the Unsub, which was shredded right around the face. "Or... Al Capone, maybe."
You observed Spencer's slight nod as she turned and walked out of the screen. Quickly, you exited the control room and met her in the hallway.
"Agent Y/L/N," she called out as she spotted you. "You can have the room in five minutes—"
"I need to reschedule."
Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Reschedule?"
"Uh... yes, something urgent came up," you replied, trying to keep your tone casual.
She regarded you for a moment before nodding. "Alright, just let me know when you want to reschedule."
"I will, thank you," you said quickly. Sensing her lingering gaze, you added, "Oh, I'm just waiting for Reid. I need his help on... something."
A faint smile played on her lips, though she didn't press further. "Of course, I'll leave you to it then." 
With a nod, she turned and walked away just as the door at the end of the hallway opened, revealing Spencer emerging from the room. His eyes met yours in confusion, and you could sense his curiosity as he approached you.
"Hey," he greeted. "What are you doing here?"
You cocked your head to the side.
What were you doing here? 
You took a moment to gather your thoughts before offering a shrug. "Just passing by, I guess."
His brow furrowed slightly as if he sensed there was more to your answer than you were letting on. "Alright," he said, though his curiosity lingered in his gaze.
You shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny, suddenly feeling the need to change the subject. "So, how did the evaluation go?"
"So you've heard.”
"Yeah," you confirmed, starting to walk down the hallway as he stepped in pace beside you. "I can't wait for you to be back on the team. Officially, that is."
"If they let me back on the team."
"Of course they will," you reassured him, your hand finding its place on his shoulder, offering support. "You're more than qualified."
He sighed, and you tried not to notice the subtle movement of his vest across his chest, or how it shifted under your touch. "You think so?"
"I know so," you affirmed, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Trust me, they'll definitely bring you back."
He stopped his pace, and so did you, before his eyes flickered towards your hand on his shoulder. He must've sensed something different, considering you weren't exactly the type of person who liked physical contact. Neither of you were, actually. While Spencer was known for his aversion to germs, you simply preferred maintaining a certain level of personal space.
"Seriously," he wondered, his tone laced with curiosity. "What are you doing down here?"
You cleared your throat. "I told you, I was just passing by."
"Really? Is that why you're talking to me instead of going through your usual training?" he pressed on. "It's Tuesday. I'm well aware of your schedule."
Damn him and his eidetic memory. You shifted away from his gaze. "Can't a girl just choose to have a chat with a friend?"
"You chose me over your scheduled routine?” his lips curved into a subtle smile. “Am I that much of a distraction?”
Yes, that damn vest is distracting me.
"Distraction might be a bit strong,” you replied, the lie sounding feeble even to your own ears.
"So you’re admitting I’m slightly distracting?"
"I never said that.”
Spencer leaned in and you felt the heat of his proximity radiating from his body. "But you didn't deny it either.”
You felt a faint blush creep onto your cheeks as you realized the shift in his tone. Dare you say he was... flirting with you? Or was it just your imagination running wild? From the corner of your eye, you caught the subtle way he licked his lips, and without meaning to, your own gaze was drawn to the movement.
It was a habit of his, one you'd observed countless times before whether it was out of concentration or a mere reflex. But seeing it up close now, the way his tongue traced the curve of his bottom lip, was driving you insane.
You swallowed hard. This was not friendly behavior. A friend wouldn't be imagining what it would feel like to have his tongue on your lips instead.
"Y/N?"
Your face felt hot as you met his gaze. "I..."
Before you could respond, the sound of laughter and chatter from down the hallway reached your ears. You heard Penelope's unmistakable giggle with JJ's animated voice, and suddenly your instinct took over. Without a second thought, you reached out and grabbed Spencer’s arm, pulling him into an empty office nearby. 
The door shut with a soft thud, and you frowned, suddenly feeling embarrassed. You didn't want to be caught in a state of flustered panic like some nervous school girl talking to her crush, but as Spencer stood behind you, you realized you were overreacting. The more you dwelled on it, the more absurd it seemed to hide away when there was no reason to.
With a sigh, you turned to face him. "Sorry about that, I didn't mean to..."
But as your gaze met him, your words faltered because he was standing closer than you expected. Close enough that the color of his eyes seemed to intensify under the soft light filtering through the window—a rich brown, like warm chocolate, with specks of gold that danced in the sunlight.
Your eyes involuntarily traced downwards, from the sharp lines of his nose to the curve of his lips, lingering on the stubble lining his jawline. Your mind wandered, and now you couldn't help but wonder how it would feel having it against your skin. Or how it would feel pressed against your thigh.
Your face grew hotter at the thought.
"Y/N? Are you alright?" he asked, taking a step forward. You squeaked in surprise, an actual high-pitched sound leaving your lips, as you felt the hard surface of his vest pressing against your chest.
"It's just..." You hesitated, feeling the heat rising to your cheeks. "You're standing really close..."
He glanced down at you, his eyes resting on your lips. "Do you want me to move?"
"I... uh..."
His eyes flickered back up to meet yours. "I'll take that as a no."
Before you could process his words, his hand reached up, fingers gently gripping your waist. You felt a rush of heat spread through you at his touch, the sensation seeping through your shirt and you found yourself leaning into him, your breath catching in your throat as his face hovered closely above yours.
It was happening. Your heart pounded in your chest as his lips drew closer. You couldn’t believe it, he was going to kiss you—Spencer-fucking-Reid was going to kiss you.
But just as his lips hovered dangerously close against yours, he suddenly stopped.
"Just to make this clear," he began, running a thumb along your side. "I respect you, both as a friend and a colleague. I don't want to force you into anything you're not comfortable with, so if you think this is pushing any boundaries then—"
"Spencer," you cut in. "Just kiss me already."
With a hint of relief and a small smile playing on his lips, he finally closed the gap between you.
You never imagined his lips could be so soft. He had the softest lips that moved against your own with a hint of coffee and something undeniably sweet. Those soft, soft lips parted away from yours for a moment before he leaned back in, more desperate, more needy. And when he swiped your bottom lip with his tongue, seeking entrance, you couldn't help but welcome him with a soft moan of pleasure.
He devoured you then, his tongue pushing eagerly into your mouth, his lips enveloping you with a hunger that left you breathless as he pressed himself against you. Before you could fully grasp what was happening, you were walking backward until your back collided with the solid surface of the desk. 
With strength you didn’t know he possessed, he effortlessly lifted you and perched you on top of it, prompting a surprised squeal to escape your lips. He laughed in response but you were too caught up in the moment to worry about whether he found you amusing. 
Your hands eagerly roamed over his chest, fingers curling around the strap of his vest as you pulled him closer. He slipped between your parted legs with ease and when he pressed his evident bulge against your core, you both gasped in pleasure.
"We should... we should probably stop, right?" he murmured, his voice muffled against your lips. Despite his words, his actions betrayed his self-control as he began to roll his hips against you.
“We're at work, someone might—” He groaned. “Someone might… hear us..."
He was right, but you found yourself unable to care about anything else but the sensation of his hard cock pressing against your heat.
"We could stop, or..." you found yourself saying without thinking. Your hands moved with a mind of their own, finding their way between you as you started to unbutton your shirt, the fabric slipping away to reveal more of your skin. 
"Or..." He prompted, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip yet again, his breath coming out in shallow, ragged bursts.
"Or..." you repeated, pushing the front of your shirt open. "We could be quiet."
"We could be quiet," he agreed all too quickly. "We could definitely be quiet."
You let out an amused laugh. "We’re going to get in trouble if anyone finds us."
“Then you shouldn’t make a sound.”
“Me? What about—oh.”
His lips were already trailing down your body, leaving soft kisses as they lingered on your neck, across your collarbone, and then he moved lower, sucking lightly on the swell of your breasts. A whimper of his name escaped your lips, your fingers entwining in his hair.
He pulled back slightly, his eyes drinking at the sight of your breast pushed up against your bra, a glistening sheen of his saliva coating your skin.
“You are stunning,” he murmured, before leaning back in to place a tender kiss on the spot where your collarbone met your shoulder. “How far do you want to take this?”
You blinked, trying to ground yourself into the moment between the lust fogging your brain. “What do you mean?”
“This,” he muttered as he rutted his hips against yours, drawing a needy moan from you. “How far are you willing to go?”
“If you’re asking whether I want to have sex with you, the answer is a hundred percent yes.”
You could practically feel his smile on your skin as he buried himself in the crook of your neck.
“That’s good to know,” he whispered, causing you to arch your back as your chest pressed against the hard material of his vest. “But I don’t think we can do much considering we’re supposed to be working. Well, you at least.”
You grasped his shoulders, pushing him away to meet his gaze. “I thought we agreed to keep quiet.”
“We can keep quiet,” he assured you, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. “But I can’t rush my time with you. Besides, you deserve a much better setting than an unoccupied office full of dust.”
“Sounds like a you problem.”
He chuckled softly, his fingers trailing lightly along your jawline. “Maybe, but it’s more about time, really. I just want to take—” His lips brushed against your cheek. “My time—” A peck on your lips. “With you.”
You melted right there and then. You could’ve sworn you were nothing but a puddle mess. If he wasn’t holding you for support you were sure you could fall right back to the floor.
“Alright then,” you finally said, reaching for the buttons of your shirt with trembling hands only to be stopped as his fingers curled around your wrist.
“What are you doing?”
You shot him a puzzled look. “I thought you didn’t want to have sex right now.”
“I didn’t say anything about stopping,” he replied, releasing your hand before his palms slid up your thighs. “There are plenty of other things we can do.”
You felt the heat rising in your cheeks. “Like what?”
“Well, I guess we'll just have to get creative.”
Your breath hitched when his fingers hovered over the button on your pants. You watched with a mix of excitement and disbelief as he started to undo them, your mind turning into a mushy mess. It was as if every neuron in your brain had decided to stop working.
“Lift your hips for me.”
You met his gaze, trying to summon up your composure but you couldn’t help the nervous twitch of your lips. He smiled at you.
“Come on, pretty girl, we don’t have all day.”
Not only were you melting, but you were practically liquid by now. Your body moved on its own accord—your hands gripping his shoulders as you lifted your hips, synchronizing perfectly with his gentle movements to slide the material over your hips and down your legs.
He placed your pants on the empty space beside you while his eyes never left your body. His gaze lingered on the rise and fall of your chest, and he leaned in, his fingers trailing over your skin before settling on the hem of your panties. His thumb slid to the front, brushing along the delicate material. Your hips bucked as he continued to run his thumb up and down as if he were trying to map out your slick folds over the fabric.
“Look at you dripping,” he mused, his eyes fixated on the way his thumb slid over to your clit. “Are you always this wet?”
Your cheeks heated at the question. He wasn’t even trying to make it come off as dirty talk; he asked it like a normal question, as if he were simply wondering about what you ate for breakfast. But the question alone had your face burning because you did not expect it to come from him.
“I… I guess so.”
“You guess so?” he asked, his tone amused. He hooked his fingers into the material of your panties before pushing it to the side.
“I-I don’t know.” You let out a breathless moan when his fingers grazed your slit. “Whenever I’m turned on, I don’t... I don’t exactly touch myself just to check how wet I am.”
Spencer chuckled softly, angling his hand between your thighs before gently pushing his middle finger into your entrance. You gasped at the sudden stretch, brows furrowing as he pressed further, and your hand instinctively gripped onto his arm.
“Do you often touch yourself?”
Your head fell back as he started to move.
“M-Maybe,” you managed to stutter out.
"What do you think of when you do?" he asked slowly, his own breath starting to grow shallow as he watched your face contort in pleasure. He observed the way your mouth fell open, your tongue slightly slipping out in the corner, and the way your eyes shut closed. He was fascinated by the effect he had on you, on how just a simple touch had you squirming.
“A… a lot of things,” you managed to reply.
“Have you ever thought of me?”
Whoa.
The question caught you off guard, and you blinked, momentarily stunned.
This was dangerous territory, but then again, nothing seemed quite as risky as being fingered by your coworker on a Tuesday afternoon. So what harm could it be if you admitted that yes, in fact, he had crossed your mind when you touched yourself wishing it was his fingers instead?
A lot of harm, actually. One, it seemed like an inappropriate confession given your friendship. Friends don't usually imagine each other in sexual scenarios. And two, you could die of embarrassment.
"No," you replied, hoping your voice sounded more confident than you felt.
He hummed skeptically. “I thought we were past the point of lying between profilers.” With a pause, he added another finger inside you, causing you to bite down on your lip to stifle a moan. “Is this how you imagined it in your fantasies?”
What was the point of lying now? You swallowed hard, trying to think of a witty response to distract from the intense pleasure coursing through your body.
“Uh… This is slightly better.”
“Slightly? I’m hurt.” He pressed his thumb onto your clit. “What else did you think of then?”
Your cheeks flushed even more. “You… well, um, you also used your tongue.”
The airy laugh he let out sent a shiver down your spine. “Really? And how did that fantasy play out?"
Your heart raced as you tried to find the right words. "Let's just say it involved a lot more tongue action and a lot less talking."
His smile widened, and he leaned in closer, his warm breath brushing against your ear. “Then let’s reenact it.” He gently pulled his fingers out of you. “Lay on your back.”
With a shaky breath, you complied, sprawling out on the desk, a mix of nerves and excitement coursing through you. When he reached for the waistband of your panties, you couldn't help but crack a joke. "If I knew this was the direction this day was heading, I would've worn my fanciest underwear."
Spencer shook his head. “Trust me, you don't need fancy underwear to drive me crazy."
He then deftly removed your panties, his movements confident yet tender, like he was unwrapping a precious gift. When the fabric pooled at your ankle, he got down on his knees and parted your legs wider, positioning himself between them.
You watched, anticipation building, as he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your inner thigh. Then, with a teasing glance, he pressed his lips to your skin, planting soft kisses along the trail of your inner thigh, inching closer to your core.
You shivered at the sensation and your heart raced with every kiss. His hands roamed over your thighs, tracing delicate patterns while his mouth brushed closer to where you craved him the most. You bit down your bottom lip, unable to contain the moan that escaped as his tongue flicked out, grazing your sensitive flesh.
This was definitely better than your fantasies, the ones you'd harbored in secret, too taboo to admit even to yourself. But here you were, living out those desires in the most deliciously real way possible.
You gasped as his tongue lavished your slit, tasting every inch, mixing your arousal that was beginning to drip from your core with his saliva. Your back arched off the desk, thighs trembling and when they threatened to close, he made sure two heavy palms kept them open long enough for his tongue to drag over your clit.
You couldn’t believe this was happening. Somehow it felt like a dream, but everything was real. His face was right between your thighs; his mouth pressed against your cunt, his tongue lapping through your wet folds. And it wasn’t as simple as tasting you, he was eating you, devouring you, swallowing every drop of your arousal as if he couldn’t get enough of your taste.
You started to lose control of your mind, your body, your actions. Your hips bucked to meet his tongue, your jaw slackening as stifled moans spilled from your lips. And that was when you felt it—a faint vibration against your thigh. At first, you thought it was just the sensation of his touch, but then the loud, unmistakable loud ringtone of your phone shattered the moment.
"Shit!" You squealed, scrambling to grab your phone from your discarded pants. The last thing you needed was for someone to discover you in this compromising position.
"It's Emily—“ You pushed his head away, trying to hide your flushed face as he looked at you with surprise. His lips were glistened with your arousal and his hair seemed messier. God, he looked so pretty.
"Don't answer it."
"It might be important." With a pointed look, you silently urged him to keep quiet as you brought the phone to your ear with trembling fingers. “H-Hey... what's up?"
Emily's voice came through the line, slightly muffled by the sounds of commotion in the background. “Hey, I need you to review the report you submitted yesterday, you left a few details about the Unsub.”
Spencer's lips brushed against your inner thigh, sending a shiver down your spine, and you had to bite back a moan. You shot him a warning glare, mouthing ‘stop’ before turning your attention back to the call.
“Y/N? Are you listening?”
“Yeah,” you breathed out. “So… um, which report?”
"The case in Florida," your boss explained. "You mentioned that the Unsub was targeting women between the ages of 25 and 35…”
You were trying to listen, you really were, but it was hard when you felt his fingers ease into your cunt, your juices dripping out, coating his flesh as he curled them inside. You almost let out a whine as his thumb pressed to your clit, caressing in circular motions. 
“…he's also been stalking younger women."
Your eyes screwed shut as he sped up his pace. His touch was driving you crazy, and you could barely register the conversation over the sounds of your own arousal echoing in the room.
“Y/N.”
You snapped your eyes open, feeling a flush creep up your cheeks as you tried to concentrate on the call. "Uh, yeah, go on," you managed to stammer, hoping she didn't notice your wavering tone.
“Are you okay? You sound... off," Emily's voice cut through the haze of pleasure. You shot Spencer another pleading look, but he simply smiled at you with a hand still between your thighs and the other slipping underneath your bra.
You forced yourself to take a deep breath, fighting against the overwhelming sensations coursing through your body. "Uh, yeah, I… I-I’m doing my training.”
You mentally cursed yourself for the terrible excuse. Emily didn't seem entirely convinced. "Training?"
"Yeah, you know, the uh... firearm training? I-It’s Tuesday.”
There was a pause on the other end before she spoke again. “Are you sure you’re okay? You sound like you're in pain."
You bit your lip, trying to stifle a moan as his fingers curled inside of you. "No, no, I'm fine. Just... a little out of breath from all the… shooting."
Spencer let out an incredulous scoff, and you shot him a pointed glare.
“Are you with someone?”
You hesitated, racking your brain for a believable excuse, but all you could muster was a feeble, "Uh, nope.”
There was a pause on the other end, and the tension in the air seemed to thicken as your body flushed with heat. Meanwhile, Spencer seemed intent on torturing you, never stopping his pace. If anything, it seemed like his movements were increasing. Just when you thought you couldn't feel more exposed, another scoff echoed through your ear, this time from Emily.
“Alright, where are you really?” she pressed, her tone indicating she wasn't buying your flimsy excuse.
“I told you I-I’m doing my training.”
She laughed. “Y/N, we profile people as a job. I can sense your lie even through the phone.”
You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes. What was up with these profilers and their knack for sniffing out lies? You were one yourself, but apparently, you were no match for their scrutiny.
“I’m not—“ your words were cut short when he stood up, hovering above you. You looked up at him, smiling at you innocently as his fingers continued to curl deep inside you. You clutched his forearm with your free hand, attempting to steady yourself.
"I'm not lying," you managed to squeak out.
"Mhm," came Emily's voice from the other end. “Just come by my office and grab the report, okay?”
Your breath hitched as his fingertips delved deeper, sending waves of pleasure rippling through your body. You couldn't tear your eyes away from the sight of his hand moving between your legs, coated in your arousal with each thrust. You could feel your orgasm edging closer. Your hips moved in sync with his motions as the pressure built, the tension coiling tighter in your stomach and—
“Y/N!”
“Y-Yes, I’m… I’m coming.” Spencer's low chuckle filled your ears, and you realized what you'd unintentionally implied. Your eyes widened in embarrassment. “I mean, I-I’ll be there soon, okay, bye!”
You quickly slammed your phone down on the desk, ending the call with a thud. But before you could even take a breath, Spencer's fingers were back to their rapid pace, driving you to the edge of sanity. Your body staggered under his touch, your hips moving in sync with his relentless rhythm, the world outside the room fading away into a blur of pleasure.
"A-Ah—w-wait, fuck—"
You barely managed to utter a protest before his hand covered your mouth, muffling your cries of pleasure. Your back arched, your head thrown back as you tightened your grip on his wrist, your body writhing beneath him as your orgasm consumed you.
It lasted longer than you expected and Spencer seemed determined to push you over the edge as he shifted his attention from your cunt to your sensitive clit. His fingers withdrew momentarily, only to return with a renewed intensity, applying just the right amount of pressure.
Your senses were on overload as you moaned into his hand, the sound muffled but still audible. He worked you, over and over, and you didn't even know your body could take so much. Every stroke, every caress sent sparks of pleasure coursing through you, building up to an intensity that bordered on overwhelming.
Your legs shook uncontrollably as the sensations reached a fever pitch. It was all too much, too intense, and in a moment of desperation, you pushed his hand away. When the last tremors of your orgasm finally faded away, you collapsed back onto the desk, panting heavily, your limbs feeling like jelly. 
Spencer removed his hand from your mouth, a satisfied smile playing on his lips as he watched you catch your breath. “Are you okay?" 
You nodded weakly. “Yeah, just… that was intense.”
“Good intense?”
“Really good intense,” you replied with a sheepish grin, which only made him smile. With shaky hands, you pushed yourself up from the desk, feeling a wave of satisfaction wash over you. As you began to dress yourself, you couldn't help but steal a glance at him—or rather, the evident bulge underneath his pants.
“That… that doesn’t look comfortable,” you remarked.
Spencer waved off your worry with a dismissive chuckle. “Don’t worry about me, I can take care of it myself.”
“Here? At work?” Your eyes widened at the implication. “I didn't know you had it in you.”
He cocked his head to the side. “That’s not what I meant. It’ll eventually go away if I ignore—stop staring at it,” he added with a laugh. “You’re not helping.”
Your gaze lingered a moment too long on his bulge. "I can think of another way to help.”
Spencer's breath caught in his throat, his imagination running wild with possibilities, but he quickly regained his composure. "Go," he said, gently nudging you towards the door once you were properly dressed. "Emily's waiting for you."
Your eyes swept over him and a wave of awkwardness suddenly washed over you. What was the protocol after experiencing the most intense orgasm of your life? Shake his hand? Give him a high-five? You couldn't help but stifle a nervous laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
After a brief moment of contemplation, you decided to trust your instincts. With a hint of hesitation, you stepped closer and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. He blinked in surprise, but before he could respond, you were already rushing to the door.
He couldn't help but smile as he watched you leave, a tingling sensation lingering on his cheek where your lips had briefly touched. But as he licked his lips absentmindedly, he couldn't shake the taste of your arousal that lingered there.
Groaning softly, he shifted uncomfortably as his mind filled with vivid images of you squirming under him; your mouth agape, eyes half-closed, your pretty legs spread apart. The memory of your moans echoed in his ears and his cock stirred in his pants. 
He sighed, realizing he was in for a long day if he didn't do something about it. With a slight grimace—and the embarrassment gnawing at him for what he was about to do—he let his feet carry him to the nearest bathroom.
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