#yawsreflection
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
yawmanzo · 7 years ago
Text
Yaws Personal Reflection on Touken
When I first watched/really read Tokyo ghoul, although I shipped Touken to get together eventually by some point; I didn't really understand why they fall so hard for each other at first. Upon looking back however, a lot of that could be attributed to the very nature of both characters. Touka (read here for my reflection on her) with a harsh/lashing out and violent exterior due to the violent past in which she grew up in as a ghoul, whilst still having a gentle interior and being selfless in most cases wanting to help others even whilst getting herself hurt.
Kaneki with a gentle exterior, yet a violent interior due to his own past and misgivings that we all know of as a human and being selfish in wanting to be needed by others and unconsciously hurting others by trying to burden everything upon himself and not fully rely on others.
I've noticed how Ishida likes portraying the values of Yin and Yang between the two (depicting them as polar opposites attracting and being complementary/interconnected/interdependent with some similarities as well, he did explicitly say they are characters of a set after all when he came up with them). Passive/ Active. Strong/Weak. Black/White. Direct/Indirect. Selfish/Selfless. Human/Ghoul. Harsh/Kind.
Tumblr media
These terms aren't purely static stances but rather semblances of self that each saw/admired/invoked in the other, both positive and negative.
Kaneki said human relationships are like chemical reactions, if you have a reaction, you can't return back to your previous state of being.
Touka was there and saved Kaneki numerous times in Part 1 when he desperately needed someone the most aside from Hide and the others, while Kaneki also saved her several times.
Tumblr media
What I love is the evolution of their feelings and relationship that started out pretty horribly with both seeing each other in a negative light as human (living a good peaceful life) and ghoul (being an evil killing monster).
Tumblr media
The fact that a human becoming a half ghoul developed to be able to care and fall in love with a full ghoul that hated herself, the world, struggled working and living life as a human and ghoul is really phenomenal narratively speaking. Kaneki saw past all of Touka's violent exterior anger issues and looked at the gentle interior she possessed when it comes to how much she cares about people other than herself, even as a murderer. “If you died Touka-chan, I'd probably be sad”.
Tumblr media
That line is so simple, yet for Touka it created a lasting impression since no one in her life really in viewed that kind value upon her, also count in her abandonment issues in always being left alone (Hikari, Arata, Ayato, later the Anteiku crew at the end of part 1).
Even if she had the Anteiku crew, no one truly gave that emphatic value about her life having importance and worth as a ghoul trying to LIVE in the human world amongst all the killing and violent predicaments of murder in the world, not even her uncle Renji or old man Yoshimura, even though they did look out for her. Meanwhile for Kaneki he felt like he belonged somewhere, again his most desperate desire. He felt needed as their friendship grew in training, fighting and working together, he wasn't alone anymore.
Even after getting separated after the Aogiri arc (about 6 months) and the Re time skip (about 3 years) you could always notice the subtle mentions of how much both thought of each other, Touka wanting to see him again and especially from Kaneki’s perspective even after each personality change in always mentioning Touka and Hide separately from every other important person in his life.
All personalities have mentioned her separately from everyone else (yes even centipede), “The others, Touka-chan and Hide”.
Even with the infamous bridge scene in part 1, Hide entrusted and helped Touka to expose Kaneki. And she did, however she unfortunately fell back on her violent anger issues and communication problems in truly conveying what she felt to Kaneki due to what can be seen as her fury at him being just like Arata and even Ayato to an extent. Kaneki promised never to leave her, yet he lied and left her to become stronger and shoulder all the burdens of everyone by himself in some tragic hero manner. Yet this time Kaneki genuinely believed his own lies, wanting to sacrifice himself to protect others when he said he wouldn't leave them.
However, unknown to Touka at that time, that encounter made Kaneki want to go back to Anteiku. “Touka, can I come back?”.
Haise sees her after 3 years at the second Anteiku home “Re” and cries after seeing that Touka was still alive after all this time and the encounter is titled “Inherited feelings”. Not for the person he knew the most in terms of time span, but for the beautiful person that created such a huge impression on him at the most vulnerable periods of his life after becoming a half ghoul and not having a true grasp on both worlds and companionship.
Tumblr media
Is it unrealistic that Touka waited over 3 years for him and still had feelings only for him? “Even if time has passed, even if our bodies have changed, even if he had forgotten me completely... As long as he comes back home, things will be alright”.
Mostly yes for the majority but not strictly no… I view everything as not strictly one way with this; the main thing is about deep impressions that both instilled in each other, kinda like Star Crossed lovers, “I have faith in him, he will return”.
Touka was even willing to prioritize Kaneki’s own happiness and well being over hers as Haise in not forcing him to come back, but waiting for him come back of his own free will, even with all the new relationships Haise/Kaneki developed with other characters like the Qs family.
Time, change and distance never stopped them from still yearning to see the other, even amongst them both living different lives with different people and settings in part 2 of Re, most notably Haise/Kaneki with the Qs, CCG, Juuzou, Akira, Arima, Eto etc. Haise often visited Re just to look at her like he did with Rize even with his suppressed memories, even at times wondering what that girl(Touka) was up to. “I wonder what that person is doing today, on a date maybe?”.
Fast forward later to Touka also wondering about what Kaneki was up to in their 121-122 conversation... “Are you a virgin?”.
Black Reaper, the most savage,harsh and suicidal personality even changed his whole stance on dying simply upon looking at Touka in Cochlea.
Tumblr media
This was also reinforced by Arimas threats in killing his ghoul friends, and the Hide inner dialogue about eventually finding a reason to live. I viewed this as a reverse of “If you died, I'd be sad” from part 1, both were scared at the very thought of the other dying. This time Touka is the gentle and kind exterior, Kaneki the violent harsh exterior not caring about his own life until someone reminded him the value of his life and the people that still care about that life. “Your life has MEANING, to us and to ME” type of thing, and as ghouls, they are hardly given any true instances of happiness, care and love that lasts before meeting a tragic end, some fuckery or death due to the harsh nature of the world.
The fact that they got together so quickly and yes rushed, after losing cafe Re and both feeling lonely and taking comfort in each other in 125 I found really emotional.
Touka asking Kaneki “Why are you crying?” was such a sweet gesture when you remember Haise crying when he first saw her in Re, but also how Kaneki felt that he was always beat a lot by the people he loved the most. And yet he was able to fully expose himself and have an extremely intimate moment with the woman that he's in love with, and to find out that she also loves him back and didn't hurt him at all this time.
Tumblr media
Additionally was finding out that Kaneki  was “dying” and how quickly they married after finding out about Touka’s pregnancy and her even CHOOSING Kaneki and their child over saving her best friend Yoriko (one of Kaneki's biggest flaws in choosing), for me only reaffirmed how desperate and strong each others feelings were for each other. Touka chose a life with Kaneki, something he wanted his mother to do… Choose him.
It's kinda like... “We lost each other before so many times, let's just confirm everything while we're still alive (The marriage bite mark and ring) because who knows when we'll lose these moments and our time together,” especially at how unforgiving shit can be with most TG relationships (AKA Eto’s parents Ukina and Kuzen, Touka’s parents Arata and Hikari and so forth).
Tumblr media
Their love is flawed, rushed and has several problems yes with the time development and communication issues in execution... (I truly wish Ishida gave Touka more screen time and development in most of Re although she has developed and changed from Part 1 in her own way); but they are still growing and learning, nothings ever perfect. In fact even with that time discrepancy and change, its one of those relationships that's so genuine and loyal AF to me. Both can see the dark horror in each other, yet still love each other regardless and show genuine care to go through such lengths to make sure the other is okay in a world where such a thing for ghouls and humans is extremely rare.  Especially during all the fuckery in the previous Underground and Dragon arcs. ALL of the Kaneki personalities agreed to literally kill and eat the Oggai children along with humans and ghouls (becoming a monster) just to see Touka again in fear of her death and hopefully to name his kid one day, repeatedly chanting her name over and over.
Tumblr media
Touka played a prominent role and went out to save her husband with the CCG, Hide, hell even the Qs... incurring so much damn physical damage via all the fighting and all the mental/emotional stress concurred spanning days to weeks whilst fucking PREGNANT, starving herself with human food, and weakened as a ghoul.
Again, love is complicated, and it's not exactly “healthy” per say from that point of view… I'd say these two need some damn marriage counseling or some shit😂, but it is MUTUALLY genuine given the fucked up circumstances. (I'm also glad it didn't fall under the common anime/manga trope of “Will they? Won't they? shipping game that stalls for time... Just do it! Especially when TG isn't a romance manga, although it has romantic elements)
Personally for me, Touken represents an overall symbol of coexistence and hope for humans and ghouls (the positive core message of TG, even though yes I know it's not the main focal point outside all the story fuckery as a whole). It illustrates breaking past the species barrier of mutual understanding along with other ships to a degree like Ukina x Kuzen, Nishiki x Kimi etc; and I find it beautiful that Kaneki finally has a tangible reason to LIVE, with his Best Waifu Touka… And now also his Best Bro Hide and everyone else.
Tumblr media
I wish I could add more insight, but as you can see... I'm a Touken boy through and through😅
2K notes · View notes
yawmanzo · 6 years ago
Text
Yaws Personal Reflection on Mikasa Ackerman
When looking at Attack on Titans main trio namely Eren, Armin and Mikasa there are specific themes that truly define each character on an extremely pivotal level in terms of the overarching themes and significance they continuously build upon throughout the course of the story.
Tumblr media
Armins is that of the dream. Curiosity, bliss and wonder in constantly exploring and reaching new heights. His dream of the ocean, new lands, his idealistic view on achieving peace whilst also realizing when such dreams have to be altered accordingly in order to achieve them in some way whether it be through sacrifice or strategic cruelty.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Erens of course as we've seen since the very beginning until now is that of freedom. One that will always keep on moving forward, ruthlessly so and even cruelly to break free from the shackles of the world (aka bird cage.)
Tumblr media
Then we have Mikasa is Sukasa (home and belonging), who I've always sort of depicted as the one in the middle between the two but to a much more lesser  extent. Mainly due to the fact that unlike the two a lot of Mikasa's development by virtue is very subtle since it's not as dialogue heavy or visually textual, with special emphasis on her actions, few words/inner thoughts and key expressions meant to denote the same things that other characters express themselves with more emphatically.
Tumblr media
After all she is by nature rather stoic and very emotionally repressed, aside from when it comes to those she cares about like Eren, Armin, her adoptive family with Eren and her comrades. It's because of these traits that many believe her to be completely one dimensional with no depth available to her other than her "obsession" with Eren.
Now, while the Ackerman bond and her relationship/perception of Eren is a huge deal for her character (parallel to Levi and Erwin with its own unique differences) I'd like to make one clear distinction. Her perception of Eren and the world are encompassing of the same thing, and yet are both exclusive in flawed aspects providing for both dissonance/conflict and simultaneously a sort of desperate coinciding desire.
And the best quote to exemplify this outlook, and the one that I believe defines Mikasa at her core as well as the overarching theme of the series through her progression in the story is :
"The world is cruel, but it is also beautiful."
Tumblr media
There is SO much importance with this. Firstly let's talk a little about the correlation to an extent with Eren, Armin and the world itself that progress in the series.
So, "the world is cruel" is very self explanatory. Mikasa experienced this first hand when her own family was killed and lil boy Eren pulled through with the savage save. She sees no hope for survival in the world now that her family and home have been taken away from her. She feels cold, empty, without warmth or comfort.
Tumblr media
What's interesting about this moment is the cruel nature of it, as it is the one that changed Mikasa and awakened her Ackerman abilities for the first time . Eren saves her by violently killing the men that killed her family. Then when Eren is in danger he tells her to "fight, if she doesn't fight she can't win"
Tumblr media
In that moment she comes to the cruel realization of the nature of the world they live, that in order to survive they must fight, and most often times means having to kill. As is the essence of life. Kill or be killed.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
When Eren wraps his scarf around her it signifies a defining symbol and bond for their relationship that she clings onto. At least more specifically from her perspective. Eren only truly realizes just how much the scarf means to her later on when they were all on the brink of death and she essentially thanks him for everything, but I'll touch on that when I get there.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
So yeah the scarf is a hella big deal, being her source of warmth, strength and sense of belonging. Because from there the whole perception of the world is cruel but beautiful is what Mikasa sees through Eren. Believing that as long as she has Eren with her, she'll be fine by his side, through thick and thin. We even see how much she values Grisha and Carla as her adoptive family of sorts.
Tumblr media
In fact a big part about Mikasa is her love and devotion for those she cares about tying into her theme on the world and living. For as long as she can protect them and become strong, things will be fine. It's why when she hears about Eren wanting to join the Survey Corps that she immediately defies his wish in keeping it a secret by telling Carla.
Tumblr media
Now let's quickly talk about this since many are always quick to view Mikasa as "Eren's slave" with the whole Ackerman bond thing. But really… while it is there spanning multiple generations and histories, I think it's more accurate to view it as her deep loyal care for him, even if it also means going against his "orders".
Tumblr media
For example, Eren wants to join, Mikasa doesn't want him to join because she wants to protect him due to the fear of losing him. It's always clear how much Eren envied her superhuman strength and his inferiority complex, whereas to Mikasa I'd say viewed it all as her being proud of her strength and self worth. Being proud that she could continue living with those she loves and be strong for them. Being proud that she should could honor her vow to always protect him, and repay the debt in saving her life. Because that's her main priority, survival, and more importantly surviving with her loved ones.
That's why when Carla is trapped under the house and orders Mikasa and Eren to leave her there, what does Mikasa do? She refuses. Just like Eren refuses to leave her. Remember before Carla pleaded for Mikasa to always look out for Eren and be with him through thick and thin, which in said situation would insinuate protecting him at all costs.
Tumblr media
But likewise, she can't because Carla is also important to her. Because she loves her too. She can't just think about Eren in that moment due to the tragic event unfolding in front of her in two views. One being the helplessness she feels with Eren in not being strong enough to save Carla. Two, somewhat of a stretch but also perhaps her own helplessness in letting someone close to Eren, who she deeply cares about die in relation to her own tragedy with her family where she couldn't save them. Eren saved her from that, not her parents since it was too late, its natural she'd want to save the current family she has entirely and not have to make a choice to leave one behind, even if that one is Eren.
Tumblr media
Thus, Hannes has to come in and save them from that choice, further showcasing the cruel nature of the world in having to make those calls. 
Tumblr media
Also keep an eye for whenever she gets those headaches of hers in relation to the trauma she feels every time she loses  family or people close to family.
Tumblr media
Strength and trust
Afterwards when they all join the Survey Corps Mikasa quickly rises up the ranks to number one, as expected given her superhuman strength in being humanity's second strongest behind Levi Ackerman.
Tumblr media
And there's also something very telling about how overprotective and doting she is with Eren when it comes to her constantly fretting over him.
Tumblr media
It’s even funny how blatant and straightforward her personality is providing for some really funny moments.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This moment right here is a classic lmao.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
So yeah it comes in numerous forms such as stopping him from fights, telling him off, reprimanding him etc to which Eren responds negatively saying she isn't his mother or to stop treating him like a kid, which is fair at times where it seems over the top.
Tumblr media
This is interesting as its something that gets referenced to later on when it comes to Mikasa's growth and her overall maturity; how people view Mikasa as the "grown up." But for now her "obsession" with protecting Eren is again rooted to one thing. Family and love. She even clearly spells it out for Eren when he wonders which group she'll join and she responds by saying she'll join any group he'll join. 
Tumblr media
This is her constantly being tied and choosing to follow him wherever he goes to repay a lifelong debt to Eren for saving her. AKA (no shit) because she absolutely does not want to lose anyone anymore. Of course this is the main flawed mindset she has in the beginning creating the presumption that she has no agency of her own outside of Eren, but it makes sense.
Tumblr media
And yes, she downplays Erens strength believing he won't survive without her and or encouraging him to give up on becoming a soldier so that he can prioritize living.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Furthermore adding to her pride and sense of self worth in being the one to always protect and look after him. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
But as we see later countless times, it's understandable how she would constantly fear Eren slipping away from her, placing all the trust in her own strength to protect him and not in himself, regardless of her duties as a soldier.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
There's even a Levi squad strength and trust in others parallel which plays a role in her development through her comrades.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Contingent with Mikasa's strength and pride with Eren is that of being a soldier for humanity. 
Tumblr media
We see how she develops to respect, trust, form bonds and friendships with all the others because they do become people she deeply cares about and would do anything to protect. Such a predicament often lands in conflict with her own attachments as well especially to the two she obviously prioritizes the most namely Eren and Armin (again more on that in future arcs.)  
Duty and Desire
Let's look at the major beginnings of Mikasa's gradual growth into a soldier. We see her save numerous lives throughout the series time and time again (repeat of being humanity's strongest second only to Levi). 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Her salute symbolizes that very strength, that pride of being humanity's saving assets and protector of the peace in their battles against the titans and whoever endangers them.
Tumblr media
Oh look, another instance that she experiences the family trauma headache for whats to come.
Tumblr media
Likewise it's fascinating how she tries suppressing her inner emotions when Armin informs her that Eren sacrificed himself to save him by acting as the strong and proud soldier, relaying the present situation and mission towards everyone in not letting such an event affect them.
Tumblr media
But ironically we see how it affects her the most in contrast to her words of encouragement, or rather extreme self confidence in being the strongest (which she's not wrong), but not so right in believing she could just recklessly rush into battle and use all her resources to take out all the titans.
She repeats Eren’s motto here about fighting and winning as one and the same in living. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Yet she almost gives up in the face of impending death, believing life to have no meaning or purpose having lost her family once again, from her parents and now to Eren. 
Tumblr media
But as she ponders death, Eren’s words about fighting bring her back to life. Why?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
As she says, if she died, she'd cease to remember Eren, and remember his sacrifice for everyone and what he brought to her life. Thus she chooses to fight, and win, and live, thus she chooses to fight death and accept life, even without him.
Tumblr media
This is HUGE as a starting block for her outlook on the world. Luckily Eren managed to not only survive but be revealed to become a titan shifter to ease that loss. This will play up in her decision with Armin’s case later on. 
With this knowledge, Mikasa evaluates her reckless actions as a soldier in leading everyone, and so she takes responsibility this time as part of her duty away from personal reasons. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
So she does just that, but in a much more efficient way by not leaving Armin behind. She's fulfilling both duties, partly personal reasons and partly saving her comrade and fellow squad member without rushing into things with blind emotional feelings.
Tumblr media
After they manage to discover Eren, Mikasa is finally allowed to share a fucking heartwarming scene of elation with him, not having to worry about letting her personal sentimentality sabotage her duties when they've already been fulfilled. 
Tumblr media
For once, she can allow herself to feel warm, with the sound of his heartbeat, to know that he lives in this world.
Tumblr media
So it's no surprise that she immediately reverts back to Eren protective mode and even going up against command and authority. 
Tumblr media
She clearly says she doesn't care if it's friend or foe, as long as it means protecting Eren, she will do anything, because she only places value in her heart selectively (another thing later with her confrontation with Ymir, Historia, Bertholdt and Reiner).
Tumblr media
Here her personal reasons are conflicting with her expected duties as a soldier of humanity, but note how it's justified in relation to Armin’s reasoning with them all and vouching for Erens importance as a titan shifter and being a valuable asset to humanity. If all else fails, she'd have sliced and diced whoever tried to harm them both. She just lost him, you best know damn well she ain't about to lose him again even if it means disobeying orders (which btw is something she's also prone to do) but it's all part of her development and the ever present dichotomy of her character’s wishes and responsible obligations.
When Eren loses control of his titan form and tries to kill Mikasa, she tries reaching out to him, only for that to fail. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
She simply cannot accept such failure on two fronts. One being everyone else deeming the mission to be a failure thus opting to leave him there provoking her to show defiance against such, but also two could be the failure that she couldn’t get through to him. 
Tumblr media
She refuses to leave him in that state as he is and only shows respect to command due to the fear she instilled in them, and not the other way around.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
She eventually decides to trust and leave Armin to wake Eren up in order for her to better perform her duty as a soldier and save lives and not just stay behind with Eren. Here both fronts are compensated in the faith she places in others so that she can carry on with her duty. Believing in their strength, and believing in hers.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
During Eren’s trial she tries defending his actions when he lost control as a Titan, disregarding him almost killing her. But as we know of course she would take Eren’s side in the matter, which is natural.
Tumblr media
She even lies to Jean about the incident because of her unbinding devotion to him regardless of any and all types of flaws. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Though reminder, it's not just blind devotion for Eren, but also blind devotion for his survival, since I've mentioned several times how she's gone against his own wishes to keep him safe or at least try to in being overprotective and overbearing.
They use this against the situation when bringing up Eren’s violent tendencies from before in saving Mikasa by killing at such a young age.
Tumblr media
It brings the motto up again that the world is cruel in how Eren used such means as justified self defense and is being labelled a monster for it, with them also questioning her superhuman strength in fear.
Tumblr media
So it's no surprise that she loses her shit when Levi comes in and beats the hell out of Eren (in order to establish control of said threat and persuade the court of Eren's value to them.)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Remember, unless Mikasa genuinely comes to admire or respect you, she won't falter in being dead set on disobeying command or going up against said person when it comes to Eren, even going so far as to swearing to get revenge on that “midget” Levi. 
Tumblr media
She doesn't care that he's THE Captain Levi, all she saw was the person that laid hands on Eren, and that's all the reason she needs if its for him. Another concurrent thing mentioned before, and to continue running. Her desires for Eren’s safety V Her duty as a soldier to save the lives of many, how they sometimes completely oppose each other, contrast and conflict. And how they sometimes are meshed into one, in specific circumstances.
Let's look at the Female Titan arc and how spicy that was especially for me since I love Annie and Mikasa and how they contrast each other with their respective groups, styles and motives in the story.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Mikasa evaluates the situation first through Sasha’s instincts about being extra cautious.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
However the second she hears Eren’s titan scream she doesn't hesitate to abandon her previous orders and or duties to rush in and save him. How could she? She has the strength to do so, even if it's against a titan shifter. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
In fact, it's much more since she has the ultimate motivation and drive. You do not want an enraged Mikasa coming down on you that's for sure.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
A cycle keeps forming in the story where she keeps on losing Eren, via his own actions and her own feelings in not being close to him. That's why she's always so worried about him. Not just because "oh I gotta protect Eren because I'm just obsessive and that's it" but also because well the world doesn't do her any favors in averting her worries in Eren always charging ahead into things and potentially losing his life and the others having to catch up.
Each times she's distraught at the thought of losing him. That’s why she's not just angry at Annie for taking Eren, she's hurt. Because she feels like she failed in keeping him safe, so to amend that failure, she seeks to take down the female titan. But notice how her desire for saving Eren doesn't come into fruition because she's actually more dead set on killing Annie due to her emotions.
Tumblr media
Thus when Levi shows up, she blames him for not being able to protect Eren in the first place. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is captain Levi, she gives 0 fucks because all she cares about is the dude that beat her boys shit in and the one who was with Eren.
Tumblr media
So Levi effectively shows her his strength and command. Only then does Mikasa start to admire and throughout the story grow to greatly respect him. Not just because they're fellow Ackermans of course, but because Levi showed her a reason to. And not just a reason because of Eren, but a reason along the lines of her responsibility as a soldier and the priorities thereof in learning from experience. 
Tumblr media
She fails to save him because she got greedy with the opportunity when Levi warned her to be cautious, so he has to step in and rectify her error and save Eren while getting himself injured.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is something we see her greatly take to heart in weighing her desires with her objectives. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
She feels guilty for her failure, hence why she can’t answer him.
Tumblr media
So when they face Annie for round 2 she turns the situation over to Eren when it comes to personal feelings and duty. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Since Eren hesitated due to his now conflicting emotions with Annie, she reminds him of what she is. A titan shifter, their enemy, one they must take down, one that has killed their comrades and who knows how many other innocent lives. The threat that Eren swore to destroy.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This scene has always been both funny and really unnerving for me with how intense Mikasa lays the pressure, she's essentially getting two birds with one stone here. 
Tumblr media
Her desire for revenge against Annie to regain her failure before, and to make amends and take responsibility for not taking her out, resulting in Levi having to rectify her mistake and get injured in the process. And what line does she use to ignite Eren’s unwillingness to believe and or fight in such a twisted situation?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Instantly, Eren knows the importance of echoing "if we don't fight we can't win, if we don't fight, we die". That's why second time round she's able to do just that and take Annie down despite orders for her to fall back, through a collaborative effort with everyone and using her immense strength effectively and efficiently.  
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Also bonus in that she finally gets to be close to Eren again, easing her worries of him always being taken from her.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Now now now, let's get to the juicy bits with the Reiner Bertholdt reveal! Before we this we see her and the other Survey Corps members pull through to save the others from the titans and where Historia’s true name is  revealed. Aye yo also check out the wings of freedom stance that Mikasa as their strongest soldier pulls up, a direct parallel to Levi, the number one strongest soldier for humanity.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Just something cool since it looks fucking badass and her saying "leave this to US." Trust in others and her comrades has already become well and truly ingrained by this point through the numerous battles they've been in.
Tumblr media
So then, when she overhears Reiner’s confession, like Eren, you can clearly see the shock and disbelief in her facial expression. She's like "wait hold up wtf??"
Tumblr media
Yet we see don't see inner thoughts from her until later on. That's the thing that's ever present that people tend to overlook when it comes to her character opposed to Eren and Armin, how they are much more expressive with their thoughts and or textual dialogue that Mikasa's development/growth seems either much slower or less apparent when really it's always happening, just not as explicitly noticeable in those aspects.
The second she sees Reiner make his declaration she goes in for the attack, no hesitation, no fucks, screaming for Eren to save himself. 
Tumblr media
She knows where this will go, it’s an ongoing cycle. Eren will get captured, and she and the rest will have to chase after to get him back.
Tumblr media
That's why she's so brutal and dead set on preventing that from happening. But, even with that what happens?
Tumblr media
She fails to kill them and subsequently fails to save Eren from the situation by taking down the threat of the Colossal and Armored Titan. Why? Hesitation and sentimentality. She didn't hesitate when attacking, she hesitated upon seeing the shocked and scared faces of the people she believed to be her comrades, the ones she's grown to respect and trust as part of their squad, their family.
Tumblr media
She scrutinizes herself over it questioning why she couldn't take their heads off and save Eren, and by extension save humanity from them? And like before with how she failed to take down Annie the first time due to her hasty emotions and not the true objective, she swears to make amends and take responsibility next time in taking them down. This serves to further illustrate the complexity of her thoughts in the situation presented to her wherein her actions, her duties, her desires are all in play and how they all battle with one another to produce a certain result both physically and mentally.
Eren hesitated before in taking Annie down because he couldn't believe a valuable friend of theirs would be the "enemy." And while it's not like Mikasa, Reiner and Bertholdt were particularly close or anything, such a betrayal still stings. These are people with whom they've fought, lived and trained with for years, believing them all to be fighting to save humanity, only to realize they were the ones that caused everything to happen the way it is now. All along, they were the enemy that caused their home and families to be destroyed.
Instead of rushing into battle in blind rage like she would before, she attacks cautiously in thinking things through like how Levi did with Annie maintaining a distance and how she learned to do against Annie round 2. She uses the help of the others such as Armin, Hange and everyone like she did previously, and so does Eren. Using this team effort, Eren tactically brings him down and Mikasa uses the open opportunity to slice down on his exposed areas.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
At this point they were pretty much on the brink of victory, until the dreaded Billy Bert dropped down from the sky, to cause the explosive diversion for them to escape with Eren.
Tumblr media
Mikasa, feels utterly helpless and beside herself. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
She experiences the headaches again signifying the trauma in loss of family. (Hey look a clockwork pattern.)
Tumblr media
This time, she relays her feelings in the most emotionally resonate and vulnerable way to Armin (the only other most important person in her life, they grew up together after all.)
Tumblr media
As I've said before, what Mikasa longs for is simple, and I know many would find such to be rather boring and or uninteresting, but it's rather profound for me at the same time especially with what's currently happening in the story and what that could lead to with her character and the choices/path she may have to undergo when it comes to saving humanity and what that could mean for her as an individual.
Tumblr media
But essentially yes, she just wants to be with her loved ones. She just wants to continue living on with them to make the nature of the cruel but beautiful world more bearable. Alas, no matter how hard she tries or fights or how strong she becomes, they, and importantly Eren, always slip away. Like the cycle of life, there are things you simply can't hold onto forever no matter how hard you try. 
Regardless, they all still continue to struggle and fight for what they believe in, like Hannes tells them.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It… sounds very objectified doesn't it? Like how Eren just serves as her sole  motivation and purpose to not just keep living but what her life ultimately amounts to in seeing the world as cruel but also beautiful and thus worth living because he's around? And, to and extent that is true, obsessively true. But as I've stated before, there's underlying growth that she undergoes in appreciating and broadening her worldview aside from just Eren. In other words, learning to distinguish both, and if possible, combine both as one thing, but also recognize BOTH of its aspects separately.
For one, Erwin himself mentions when they have to recapture him, that Eren is THE crucial key to humanity's survival. 
Tumblr media
So he orders them to dedicate their hearts into fulfilling the mission, even when he gets taken back, he orders them to continue advancing on the mission.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And two, Eren is a crucial key to Mikasa's heart.
Another instance where her interest and duties combine. Everything overlays into one here for her character in such a sublime way.
1. Desire to protect and save Eren
2. Duty to save humanity
3. Responsibility to save Eren and thus humanity by taking down the threat.
4. The resolve to sever her heart in camaraderie in order to do all the above.
Which she's done before of course, but now there's added weight in that she would take down anyone in her way because she didn't put much value in them in the first place, or they only got that value/respect later on.
Here she is actively threatening Ymir and Krista (Historia)
Ymir, like Reiner, Annie and Bert is a titan shifter, therefore they are enemies from their perspective. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Her objective is simple in taking them down to retrieve Eren. So she makes the ultimatum to Historia to choose. Step aside, or get in her way. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
She has no more room or pity in her heart for such emotionally compromising distractions with those who have betrayed her trust and the value she willingly decided to place. After all, she can only place selective value on the lives of not only those she cares about or grows to care about, but those lives she has to save as a soldier.
Tumblr media
So while she comes across as particularly ruthless, cold and selfish, the subtle nature that she instills into everyone to focus on the mission, to not hesitate and be distracted is also telling of the obligation she feels to eliminate humanity's threats that also so happened to have taken Eren from her. A coinciding mix of development if you will of all those different factors intertwined.
Tumblr media
Now we come to one of my favorite moments in the whole series that gets me in my fucking feels along with another pivotal moment concerning the choice to continue fighting and win, or to give up and lose.  After Mikasa gets injured, my boy Jean gets triggered, goat Armin sacrifices his humanity to play the devil against them and fucking ERWIN SMITH comes outta nowhere with the assist. Mikasa finally grabs onto Eren for the escape, only to be stopped by the titans all around them.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
They then come face to face with the titan (Dina) that ate Eren’s mother.
Tumblr media
Eren sees how injured she is, and remembers his mother’s words about how Mikasa is always the one saving his ass, so now he wants to return the favor (which he’s done himself too), and get his revenge. He wants to show that all his efforts leading to this day have cultivated him to finally change things.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Unfortunately, just like how Hannes couldn't change fate before by himself, neither could Eren, as he tragically meets his death. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
At this point, the situation is as hopeless as it can get. Everyone's surrounded by the titans, Eren is beside himself, Mikasa can't fight anymore, they're about to die. 
So what does Mikasa do? She thanks him, for everything.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
By now she's already accepted that they can't fight, and thus they can't win. Before when she thought she accepted death she willed herself to continue living, to continue fighting. But now, with nothing left to do in such a perilous situation, she decides to embrace it, by thanking Eren for the life they lived, and the beauty that came with it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's upon seeing Mikasa like this that Eren brushes her off, rejecting her acceptance of death. And instead vows to continue wrapping that scarf around her forever and ever. He reignites his own motto to continue fighting. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And fortunately enough like before when Eren was revealed to be a raging titan shifter, they manage to win, escape and continue living through the coordinate ability. Eren manages to showcase that undying spirit in the adversity of death to carry on moving forward and save them. (Hi running theme)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
After this with most of the Survey Corps done and dusted, the original crew moving over to Levi squad serves to further strengthen and reinforce the bonds between Mikasa and the others, notably the growing friendship with Historia.
Tumblr media
Side note but hell yeah Mikasa sit up action😎.
Tumblr media
The titan training provides for the usual her being worried over Eren’s well-being so not much to add there except god damn that stuff was nasty.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
What is a really good and subtle nod is Mikasa asking Levi about his leg before they infiltrated with their mission, tying back to the guilt she felt back during the female titan arc and her taking responsibility for her mistake. 
Tumblr media
Further indicating the respect she's gained with Levi, and it’s cool seeing that teamwork at hand.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hell when Levi makes the proposition to give Eren and Historia up, notice how her knee jerk reaction is to challenge his authority.
Tumblr media
And while she's obviously opposed to the idea, she places her faith in her captain and goes accordingly with said orders expected due to the conditional lives at hand.
Tumblr media
This comes up again when the whole squad is repulsed by Levi's harsh and violent methods in forcing Historia to choose due to how dire and the desperate the situation they face is.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
She of all people (surprisingly enough for the rest of them) ends up vouching for placing their trust in Captain Levi because she realizes the difference in experience between them and the reasoning behind his questionable methods (AKA beating Eren’s ass in court to get him under their custody, AKA strategically taking down Annie and AKA...pretty much everything he does that keeps reoccurring.)
Tumblr media
After all, he is humanity's strongest not just due to his Ackerman strength, but his resolve to do what needs to be done, even if he himself doesn't know what's truly "right" or "wrong."
The second Levi reveals that their plan got leaked and tells them to give up on chasing Historia and Eren for the moment, Mikasa evaluates his command for a moment and decides to follow his orders. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Because other than her desire to chase after them, she knows first hand the importance of playing things out differently due to complicated circumstances wherein one needs to do things strategically. All it takes is one simple mistake for everything to go to shit, she knows this very well, and so again she places her trust in her superior.
Tumblr media
Small moment, not really important but I love Mikasa comforting Armin over his first human kill and the shock in her eyes when he wonders if the same thing inhumane shock happened to her when she made her first human kill all those years ago, tying into her perception of Eren saving her by violently killing. For in that moment she had her awakening and knew exactly what to do, begging the question of one’s humanity in being forced to perform such deeds.
Tumblr media
"The world is cruel…" but one has to continue fighting, otherwise, they die, for it's kill or be killed, something she has no problem with in surviving, and something she struggles to do with her conflicting duties and desires at times.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Shortly following is them being branded free and sharing a nice moment of good ol celebration.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
OK Ackerman time! One really cool thing is the duality between her Ackerman bloodline and Asian bloodline. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Briefly on her Asian roots that got introduced and the existence of the various clans and nations of the world, with her being the descendant of their nation and their last hope.
Tumblr media
I like the reference back to when where mom branded her as a child and the idea that the symbol be passed down through families, with the potential foreshadowing of it also going to Mikasa's future child. (Potentially)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Crux of the recognition is her being a child of two nations (and the nice Historia relation) that chooses to stick with her Eldian roots to protect it. Its her birthplace and the land she's grown up in and calls home after all. Kiyomi Azumabito puts value on Mikasa simply on her being part Asian, but Mikasa has no reason to put value onto her fellow clan member just yet given what she's seen and heard.
Tumblr media
Again, trust is something earned with Mikasa. 
Tumblr media
I'm curious as to how much extra focus that side of her lineage will get later on after the war is set and done as it does set up even more possibilities for growth with her character. Not just in terms of the duality of her two lineages, but also representing the common bridge between the various nations.
Anyways, it's always awesome seeing Levi and Mikasa being the badass Ackermans they are and the parallels they share throughout the story.  
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
More on her now fully fledged growth as a soldier is the coordinated efforts in the mission to rescue Historia and Eren, for she goes to save Historia, and trusts the others to rescue Eren.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's only once they completed the objective and Eren aids in getting them the hell out of there, that she can be by his side without it contradicting with any plans. 
Tumblr media
Scope how when Eren brings up the idea of saving humanity by letting himself be eaten she rejects the idea and refuses to let him sacrifice himself for humanity.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
But, key difference here is the evaluation by the others as well on the options available to them on why there's no need for him to do such. It's not just her being "Oh I don't care about everything else as long as you're alive Eren that's all that matters." but it's that coinciding factor again. Eren IS the key to somehow saving humanity. Everything has happened for some reason that makes Eren so valuable for both humanity and for her. So now it doesn't come off as blind obsessive bonding devotion, but one where she considers both her heart to humanity's cause and her heart to Eren.
Tumblr media
Another funny bit with her stopping Eren from harming himself due to his state of loss and telling him to keep moving lmao. Eren needed that wake up call but you know she wasn't having none of that.
Tumblr media
Also cute seeing Queen Historia fucking rise up! 
Tumblr media
That segment with her punching Levi and Mikasa's smirk was cute, both got their wish with that " midget" captain of theirs.
Tumblr media
This small part seems minuscule with Historia and the children but remember what I mentioned about Mikasa's maturity/growth and care for children? In fact it's that nature of hers that Eren sometimes finds way too overbearing in stating she's not his mother or older sister in being so protective. (Hint Marley arc hint hint)
Tumblr media
It's sweet seeing her and Historia helping the kids out and further showing those maternal instinct of hers.
And fucking hilarious seeing her get all 😐😐 over Historia and Eren having a nice chit chat and being all "you need to rest so I'll handle this". The anime scene for this segment had me dying😂
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Oooo another tiny bit is Eren reminiscing on the nature of the titans being mindless humans trapped in a nightmare. Now at first as he starts talking about what he last remembered before he ate his father, Mikasa stops him and orders him to finish his food first. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Initially it just looks like another "oh Mikasa just constantly worrying about Eren." But remember, she also valued Erens’ family as her own (AKA her desperation to not leave Carla behind.) That's why Eren thinks back on those times and apologizes because he's taking her feelings into account on how talking about such matters in such a cryptic manner only serves to inflict further trauma and pain.
Other funny squad moment is seeing Eren and Jean beat the shit out of each other and literally everyone being like… "yeah this is normal." Even Armin asks Mikasa whether they should stop them, and she tells him it's alright. 
Tumblr media
She doesn't have anything to worry about when it's her current family, her current squad members, because that's how much she's come to value and care about all of them. 
Tumblr media
Levi even comes in and knocks their shit, but still Mikasa let's it slide because she has no need to get stressed about it. I mean sure she later says that Eren would heal anyways, but just another little instance of her trust.
OKAY TRIO MOMENT. So let's see. Firstly is Eren recognizing and getting over his inferiority complex with Mikasa and seeing his own unique value, not just on her but in life in general.
Tumblr media
Then is Mikasa reciting her most desperate desire. A peaceful normal life, after they fulfill their duties and defeat all the enemies that oppose this notion. She knows that realistically it's impossible return to those old peaceful nostalgic days, but likewise she still strives to gain them back in the fashion they have now, with the people she has in her life now.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
And then there's my boy Armin with the dream. Exploration, new things, new discoveries of the world.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I mentioned in the first bit how Mikasa's view is sort of like the middle between the two right? For you see, as long as she continues fighting for freedom, even if it's cruel, she'll continue winning and living (Eren) and as long as she can continue dreaming and exploring, she'll continue to find more beauty in the world (Armin.) The world is cruel...but also beautiful. More subtle with her own definitive goal for simplicity, but continuously present with her character.
Soldier of Humanity
By this point her trust in her squad members is firmly ingrained into her, and special mention again to the value she places onto Eren when he doubts himself and his worth. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Just as she trusts everyone else, she trusts that Eren won't need her to do his part. She'll always be worried naturally, but its not excessively doting that it adds to his inferiority complex any longer since both have moved way past that throughout the story in true understanding. (well... until later on again💀)
But yeah, that teamwork coming into play as it has countless times in how they manage to jointly take down Reiner was dope. 
Tumblr media
Additionally, something that's heavily undermined is Mikasa's instincts. Not just battle since that's a no brainer, but her intuition with how she reaches out towards Armin.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
When Armin tries negotiating with Bertholdt, only for that to not reach a reasonable compromise, she proceeds to get the jump on him. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And simultaneously stops Armin from chasing after him. 
He tries pointing out the possibility that they could still catch him without fear of Bert blowing up due to Reiner's concern, 
Tumblr media
Mikasa on the other hand accurately pinpoints Bert's true motives in still being dangerous at any given time, and as we see with his explosive transformation, she was right in protecting him.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Finally, we get to the events that led to all members having to make the impossible choice for humanity's continued survival between Armin and Erwin.
First we have Levi's vow to Erwin to take down the beast Titan, and for Erwin to give up on his dreams to lead his soldiers to death, essentially sacrificing themselves for the right opportunity to arise.
Tumblr media
Then we have Mikasa promising Armin to take down Reiner and trusting in his plan with Eren to take down Bertholdt. 
Tumblr media
She mentions that their objective is to protect Eren and Armin by taking down Reiner, and even when she sees their respective situation looking like absolute shit, she sticks to the mission and her resolve by trusting in them to do their part.
Tumblr media
Such a part was ultimately Armin sacrificing himself so that Eren could take Bert down, but it's the choice she made in trusting others, echoing Levi's words to Eren about which choice is the correct one? Trusting in one's own strength, or the strength of others? There is no correct answer. One can only make the choice and move forward with it, which is exactly what happens as she's become so dedicated to her valuable teammates and their valiant cause.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So as soon as she sees Armin's burnt body, she gets the headache again, the recurring trigger that sets of the trauma and pain of family loss and memories of family.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
She trusted in her comrades to do their part, and they did, at a cost, just as she trusted in herself to do her part. There's a saying that "love is the death of duty", however the complicated and truly unfair situation and choice at hand adds more dimensions to such a saying.
This time it isn't just about her personal emotional feelings clouding her judgment along with Eren in love and desire, but there's a belief of duty integrated into why they defy their superiors.
In other words, duty and desire both match and contradict each other. On the opposite spectrum is when Levi critics Eren for his emotions when Eren states that Levi is the same emotionally with Erwin concerning the vague possibility of him being alive. 
Tumblr media
And Levi admits how right Eren is, but recall how Levi always states that he never really knows what's right and wrong per say, only that choices have to be made from situations they find themselves in.
Tumblr media
This choice on both parties is more than just about who's the most correct pick, it's about the truly humane vulnerability they have to face in being forced to make such a choice based on their respect beliefs in duty for humanity, and their attachments in desire. 
When Levi knocks Eren away, Mikasa swiftly attacks Levi, her captain, one she's grown to vouch and admire. She clearly has the upper hand due to his injuries, she could easily take the serum from him by force.
Tumblr media
 Yet she hesitates, trembles and instead forcibly pleads for him to cease his struggling because she doesn't want to kill or harm him.
Tumblr media
A big thing about her character was her resolve in taking down whoever stood in her way no matter the cost or who it was back in the early stages and we see how her development has continuously shaped her to become more conflicted with that resolve, not just emotionally, but due to a sense of responsibility. She's compromised at having to go up against the superiors and comrades she's come to admire due to the emotional but justified attachment she has with Armin, her family, whom she and Eren are willing to defy orders to save.
Tumblr media
She's compromised because when Hange stops her from almost killing Floch, she's at her most weakest.
Tumblr media
Brilliantly portrayed by her scream of agony and pain, still physically struggling.
Tumblr media
Like with Levi, she still has the strength to push Hange off her and take things into her hands by force, but she can't because these are the people she respects, and they are the ones in her way.
Hange's tragic speech about living with loss leaves her defeated because of how impactful it hits all their hearts in its truth.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The world is cruel, but beautiful. It's cruel in the way that they keep losing people over and over again, but the struggle is all about moving forward passed that and still finding beauty in the world by accepting everything. Previously she gave up on living when she thought Eren died, but then chose to keep living and fighting on. Now she adheres to Hange's words on giving up on Armin, to continue living and fighting on without him in the world. Even the way Hange drags her away reinforces how dead she feels having to give up her desire as a friend for her duty as a soldier even more so when she believes her duty as a soldier is to fulfill her desire to save Armin for their survival.
Tumblr media
But like all the times before when all looked as hopeless as it could get, the world miraculously played into her favor when Levi chooses to save Armin along with his dream and value to humanity, and let’s Erwin's nightmare of hell be put to rest.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Afterwards they realize the consequences to be played for defying orders, but it's a small price to pay for having stuck true to their beliefs even in defiance of their stipulated obligations. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Which leads to the basement reveal, y'all already know the deal there, very touching seeing Eren and Mikasa come back full circle to their destroyed home and for Mikasa to reassure Erens resolve to keep going, knowing everyone's there for support.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
During their imprisonment is where we get extra insight in confirming the revelations about the world from Grisha, and the interconnected nature of the dreams/memories Eren sees in correlation with the paths (which is a whole other discussion entirely)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Important takeaways are the memories passed down onto him through his dreams in the very first chapter where he sees a future Mikasa saying "see you later" titled "to you, 2000 years from now."
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Next to that we have Grisha instilling onto Eren to master the ability passed down onto him if he wants to save Mikasa and Armin, and we also have Eren Kruger mentioning the same sentiment to Grisha in the first place.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I find this interesting mostly on ongoing speculations and theories as to how this will all tie in together with the choices these characters will have/be forced to make. For now anyways, Mikasa rejects the reality of the titan curse with regards to Eren’s decreasing life span, in other words, his and Armin’s inevitable deaths at some point. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
For the world is cruel with the inevitably of death. One can do what they can to survive when all the odds are against them, something she's has had to accept countless times, whilst still trying to maintain and broaden the beauty of the world from an external view, and an internal introspection.
Quick tangent, but man look at her when they get released from their punishment. 
Tumblr media
First thing she worries about is Eren’s well being instead of hers, though I'd imagine the time spent with Eren and him being haunted by the dreams/memories and the implications of what they found in the basement relating to the dilemma at hand played a factor to her struggle in accepting everything at once, hence why she let herself go. Just a thought.
Growth
On that same thought about realistic acceptance, let's bring her running growth theme back and how that's connected with her maturity. The scene where Floch roasts their asses for letting their personal feelings sway the decision for Armin to be chosen instead of Erwin.
Tumblr media
Eren never wavers on his “childish” belief to Floch that they made the "right choice", Mikasa doesn't waver in supporting Eren with such a decision given the same belief she shares in regards to Armin. What she does waver in is when Floch mentions how she was the only "grown up" that gave up in the situation cause she knew what the "right" thing to do was instead of one's personal “childish” wishes.
Tumblr media
This stumps her. Hard, as she let's go of Eren and can no longer form a reasonable rebuttal given the choice she made as a soldier to give up on Armin, thus giving up on her most desperate longing to live with her loved ones and only luckily being rewarded for doing so. (POSSIBLE HINT FOR THE CURRENT ARC)
I say hint because when they finally reach the GODDAMN OCEAN AND ARMIN'S DREAM, Eren proclaims their mission and his outlook more firmly on freedom. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
In order to gain freedom, they have to continue fighting, to kill all their enemies, and win, to live, to protect Eldia.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Such a motto is second nature on impulse to her, but when they go to rescue Eren on Marley, the first thing she does isn't to automatically side by everything he does even though she does naturally rush to his aid in his battle against the Warhammer Titan.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
No. She pleads for him to stop and come back home. More so, she sadly questions and criticizes his actions, having just killed numerous lives of innocent people, children even.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Her duty as a soldier and sense of justice as protector of the peace is at direct odds with her perception and view of Eren and the desire to always be by his side.
With his violent actions, she wonders if they're truly necessary and even cruelly justified for their freedom and prosperity, or whether Eren really has become an inhumane monster and a threat, not just to their enemy, but to them as well by extension of what he's rebelliously done on his own accord against their wishes.
Tumblr media
Nonetheless, the matter can't be pondered upon for too long since they still have to fight, to survive, so she does what does best. Fights with her teammates and helps him. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The somber weight attached to the situation remains extremely prevalent looking at Armin, Mikasa and Eren's facial expressions at what has happened and even more so when Levi kicks the fuck out of him like old times. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Mikasa instinctively tries to help him, only to stop upon seeing Armin’s saddened and telling look that he conveys to her. So she stops, because she knows how she can't just blindly defend him for such a situation regardless of how much she may want to.
Tumblr media
The tragedy reaches a new high when they find out about Sasha's death and well… her reaction speaks for itself. 
Tumblr media
Sasha was one of her closest friends ever after all since they all became a group all those years ago and we've seen their friendship grow from then, so seeing her be so emotionally devastated speaks volumes for the bonds she's created with all her loved ones as I've pointed out in numerous cases.
Tumblr media
This where the conflicting struggle and point of departure starts creeping its way back into what it means for Mikasa to grow up from her idealistic desires and child like longing to return back to those old nostalgic days of peace with everyone around her. As she sits by Sasha's grave in mourning, the only thing she can cling onto is Eren's scarf and the motto of winning and how they need to win to survive, and to do so one needs to fight. 
Tumblr media
However the framing in the scene is Eren finishing off the motto with "fight, fight" and not Mikasa.
Tumblr media
She's questioning what it truly means to "win by fighting" and how that results in them winning.
Going back to the sort of middle ground Mikasa plays between Eren and Armin, she brings up the idea of time that's needed when it comes protecting Eldia against the world and building better relations.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Eren and Armin both agree with her suggestions and outlook, however Armin is more idealistic and optimistic in trying to obtain peaceful means/alternatives like diplomacy, communication and negotiations other than just fighting to kill.
Eren’s is more ruthless and violent, in choosing to buy time by fighting and killing in the name of winning and surviving.
Tumblr media
She's stuck in the middle. Both Mikasa and Armin don't understand Eren anymore.
Now there's an unresolved dilemma within herself, her two most important people and the world itself.
She falters trying to steadily answer Connie's rage and mistrust at Eren. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
A big thing about her before was the fear she could instill onto others if they merely talked shit about Eren. She can't even remain firm in stating she'd stop him from cutting Eren down for several reasons.
One is the no brainer pertaining to her development with how far she's come to trust, love and value her teammates and friends. Two being because she herself isn't sure anymore. She doesn't know what side she fits in, whether it's her side with Eren, or her side with her friends and by extension her side with her duty as protector of the peace.
She brings up Eren's sentiments a year prior on how he truly loves and cares about them more than anyone to try and ease her wavering feelings.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
But just as they all mention, if that truly was the case, why perform all his actions in such a manner? Why his wicked laughter at Sasha's death? Why abandon and not tell the others of his true intentions and motives even if he trusted that they would follow him? Is he even truly on their side anymore? Is he even the same Eren?
Tumblr media
Mikasa can't answer. We the readers know the answers (or speculate to) but the characters do not for obvious reasons, for their whole viewpoints have shifted dramatically.
Tumblr media
Hence their agency to go speak to Eren directly with Mikasa even insisting on doing so by stealth. Not force this time but more unnoticeable means than the ones she would have used in the past through intimidation.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Which ends up with her having to protect Armin from the explosion and bearing witnesses to the enthusiastic supporters chanting "devote your hearts!"
Tumblr media
"Devote. Your. Hearts.” Ring a bell? That's what Erwin commanded them to do when they had to rescue Eren, their key to humanity's survival. Back then, Mikasa's duty and desire were one and the same. Her heart was devoted to both, being so interconnected. But now, there's a disconnect.
Her conversation with Louise is very fascinating to add onto this dissonance.
Tumblr media
Not just since she was the young girl Mikasa saved as a soldier for humanity those years ago, but the parallels for what Louise mentions about not regretting to violate military laws. (Hmm I wonder who's threatened to and done that before👁 cough duty V desire cough)
Tumblr media
Furthermore, is since she mentions that the Survey Corps's goal is winning, and their crest being the wings of freedom. (Hi correlation, nice to see you again.)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Right now that's the very thing Mikasa cannot come to terms with anymore. What is absolute righteousness in following a specific choice or breaking specific laws and obligations in the name of "justice for humanity" or "love" or whatever have you.
Everything's in a disarray, she can't even continue the conversation with her reasoning for becoming humanity's symbol of strength, or why she joined in the first place being tied to her desire of being close to Eren that gradually started growing to truly believing and fighting for the beliefs of saving humanity and keeping the two aspects in line with one another.
The salute that Louise gives her, the one Mikasa gave her when she saved them triggers the headache, signalling that pain and reminiscence of family just like when she saw them.
Tumblr media
Though now it's a much darker type of potential loss. For what she sees, is Eren, in a different light than what she's idealistically perceived him to be. This is the same image described (dramatically) during Eren's trial where they questioned his humanity even if it was justified self defense having to resort to such violence. She remembers when she saved him with that kind of cruel but more morbid realistic view. 
Tumblr media
The pain her headache induces is the loss of Eren, her family that she conjured up and believed in her mind, one she would loyally defend, protect and love no matter what. Now she’s growing up and seeing the terrifying truth, the truth she's always known but has tried valiantly to cover up and defend by instinct, even when she would reprimand him herself anyways.
Tumblr media
Leading up to one of the most savage roasts ever is a key instance of her maternal instincts and grown up self when she protects Gabi, a brainwashed Eldian child of Marley that killed her own friend Sasha. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The same kid she chose to save from being killed with the whole fucked up and tragic family turmoil. Why would she do that to her friends murderer?
Tumblr media
Because she's tired of having to always live by "fight and kill to win." All it does is perpetuate the cycle of endless hatred and bloodshed even and most especially if it is justified revenge due to the nature of “kill or be killed”. Like Armin says at Gabi's surprise and shock as to why she (the enemy) was saved, he mentions how she reminds him of someone else with that same mindset with no other alternatives.
Tumblr media
*Dum dum dum, queue in epic but suspenseful music*
Tumblr media
I mean… This whole roast was here was just...God😂
Anyways, the whole point is Mikasa trying to elicit the perception she still has of him and uphold the image for his reasons and sense of self, only for all of that to get brutally crushed by his words and demeanor. She doesn't want to believe that "her" Eren would do all of these things like murder innocent people and kill children in an enemy state of his own free will, that he would become such a monster even if the ends somehow justify the means.
Tumblr media
Eren shuts her down at every turn by implanting words that hurt and target her where she's the most vulnerable and insecure similar to how he does with Armin in regards to “free will”.
Tumblr media
But with Mikasa…. nah they needed a referee in there... this man went sicko mode😂😭💀
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
He degrades her sense of self will to what he believes is reduced to just the Ackerbond and instincts. In essence saying that she's a slave that only follows orders in constantly clinging onto him. 
Tumblr media
The reason why this hits so much in being a believable lie (as seen in the recent chapter) is because these are the things Mikasa is helpless at truly rebutting against due to said insecurities and semblances of truth.
So when the man drops the KO with "I've always hated you", she breaks down. She's hurt, more hurt than any physical pain he could have ever done to her. Her heart is broken.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This only increases when she stops Armin from attacking Eren and Eren being all "see what I tell you?" and Mikasa questioning herself for why she did that.
Tumblr media
The answer does to a lesser extent tie back to when she punched Eren in the face when he was being rude to Armin when they were kids.
Tumblr media
He was out of line and she didn't want to see her two loved ones fight like that. Though I suppose another interpretation could be forced protection of him anyway. Now obviously the situation is a lot more different and complex here, but I'd imagine she didn't want to see them fight, hence her stopping Armin even though Eren hurt her. I mean when they do start fighting she pleads for them to stop since it's a scene that's very heartbreaking for her. Think about it how many times they’ve all stopped each other from doing something? Here she can't do anything, not against their fight and not against her crumbling and wishful ideals being upheld realistically.
I say this because there's another truth to this whole Ackerman bond thing. Levi. If such was 100% truth, and his host was Erwin, is he finally free now that he chose to let Erwin go? He was the one that told Erwin to give up on his dreams to lead the soldiers to death while he promised to kill the Beast Titan. 
Tumblr media
This is something he still hasn't fulfilled, he had the opportunity to, but contrasting the time when Mikasa wanted to kill Annie and failed due to her hasty emotions, Levi failed to kill Zeke due to toying around with him after having to kill all his titan changed comrades.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
See one can delve into all those semantics, however I've always viewed the Ackermans to just be extremely loyal with said bond in trying to find meaning and purpose. A loyalty that runs thicker than blood. Mikasa's is the most noticeable with those she loves particularly Eren of course and Levi's is more intentionally repressed adding to all the weight he carries due to the losses he experiences with everyone in his life and eventually Erwin himself.
Tumblr media
Actually another parallel is Levi's realization of Erwin's true selfish dream contrasting with the selfless and righteous commander they thought they all knew, but being able to come to terms with that real image of him.
That's what Mikasa has to do now. That's what she's trying to figure out. For what reason is Eren doing all of this, and is he truly connected to being their ally with humanity's survival? Or is he a threat to them? Is he a slave to his own "will" for freedom and whatever that entails having to do?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Kenny Ackerman's last lines exemplify these types of outlooks that technically apply to everyone and everything.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The question Armin asks is telling of this. What she wants to do is help Eren. That's all she's ever wanted. To be by his side. Her most desperate desire. Except she ponders Eren’s words with the Ackerman blood and whether she can truly trust herself anymore when it comes to making the "right choice" or rather one completely free willed without being tied down to him.
Tumblr media
So Armin starts to slowly gain semblances of understanding for what Eren's reasoning may be behind all his actions, being for their survival against the world.
Tumblr media
However when Mikasa brings up why he would hide his true intentions from them and purposely hurt them, Armin thinks back to when they first saw the ocean together, his dream. For that's where Eren declared that they couldn't be free unless they killed all their enemies.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
He can't believe it, so he can't answer her properly except with trying to ask him again for something concrete this time having taken the first steps to reach out to him again. For now he believes he's being forced to do everything for whatever goal/agenda he has pertaining to their freedom, a freedom that clashes with his own diplomatic view in reaching out to their enemies instead of killing them.
Where Eren can empathize and understand his enemies, he still chooses to kill because of said understanding of how the world is to protect Eldia.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Armin can sympathize and try understand his enemies by attempting to reach out and communicate to build bridges between their nations outside of just protecting Eldia through killing, unless absolutely forced to.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Mikasa can kill her enemies if necessary to protect her loved ones and perform her duty, however she does possess empathy when it comes to her sense of being protector of the peace, even against the "enemy" as seen with Gabi to break the vicious cycle and all the lives Eren took in Liberio.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Freedom
ALRIGHT THE SCARF. Y'ALL ALREADY KNOW HOW MASSIVE THIS IS. The decision for Mikasa to leave behind the symbol and bond that ties her and Eren together behind is so so so important with a bittersweet twist to it.
For one, she's willingly choosing to break free from her idealistic view of Eren and grow up in accepting everything he truly is currently. She's willingly letting go of her past constraints and desperate desires and choosing to move on from them, stepping into the light that is the cruel reality.
Tumblr media
This development is crucial to broaden her stance on life away from Eren and herself as a person to truly and fully encompass "the world is cruel, but beautiful"
This will be done through distinction in differentiation without Eren, and or distinction in differentiation with Eren. Either way, she'll be free to grow as her own person, further seeking to explore the beauty that the world has to offer outside of just Eren and the inevitability of her loved ones dying one day (like she accepted when she let Armin go).
Tumblr media
Just like how Eren promised to wrap the scarf around her forever, she realizes that such a thing is impossible no matter how much she may want it. Just like how she wants to return back to those older child like days, she realizes that such a thing is impossible. The only thing that's possible, is progressing onwards, head on and directly.
I'm excited to see how this pans out, for I believe she'll finally be able to grow into a new but coherent self surpassing her current self that has already subtly grown over the series.
This in turn will help her be shaped with her own personal identity (which she already has) but with breaking free from Eren and choosing for herself whether or not her desires and duties coincide as they have before, or if they clash and she has to pick one. Through this key point, Mikasa Ackerman will be able to decide for herself whether or not she can move forward with or without Eren, and more so whether she can continue to live, and fight for humanity's survival, with or without him.
Tumblr media
This doesn't mean she'll drastically stop loving or supporting him (or at least endorsing him completely), but at least now with removing the scarf she's not tied down to constantly clinging onto falling back on him like a child every time for guidance, self worth, purpose and strength; but rather guiding herself for the decisions she'll make from here on going forward.  As a grown up, and being able to distinguish between the two, in such a cruel world, but one with beautiful possibilities to overcome and explore.  
Lowkey I have a feeling Louise may take the scarf and give it back to Mikasa at some point or it may end up with her again somehow with how much focus was placed on it. This would symbolize her being able to reconcile with everything once she can see the truth behind and everything and accept it after this growth for all it's worth. If not however, it still works in either case when it comes to symbolically letting go and moving on, with its impactful meaning and significance to become a stronger individual person from it.
So that's all up till the current chapter and god damn it I KNOW there's still several interpretations and details that countless others have explained before but man we'd be here all day😂
But if anything I really wanted to get some of these ramblings out there on why I love Mikasa for what she is and the nuances her character brings to and for the series as a whole so far, and I'm super keen to see how she progresses from here!🔥
Tumblr media
53 notes · View notes